#blowing myself up over this /silly

[ochrearia]

Modern Warfare

Me going absolutely nuts insane. Most normal Ochre moment is when I can project all of my loneliness problems onto a character who also has a loneliness problem but at least the character can have people fix it /silly

ALSO YOU GUYS SHOULD TOOOOOOTALLY PUT THIS SONG ON WHILE READING :3

BFs in this one-shot: Yourself (YS) (All of the other BFs are mentioned briefly at the end, but aren't technically here.)

His scars hurt. Sometimes that would happen, on random days at random times, whenever they wanted, they would start hurting. Despite the injury having been healed at this point, and the physical trauma of it done and gone, they would start hurting again. Just to remind him of the things he’d done to himself, because no matter how much good he found in his life all of a sudden, YS was not allowed to escape what he’d done. Though the things he tried to escape usually were what he’d failed to stop, he’d never really cared about the hurt he inflicted on himself.

So what was changing, then, that he suddenly did seem to care?

He could probably call someone. One of them had to have time to spare but he hated the idea of being a bother. Especially over something that a majority of them didn’t know about, and he was not in the mood to explain it. Beefer knew but he was stressed out as it was. Beef… wasn’t supposed to know, but YS had slipped up and let his guard down a little too much.

Was that really a bad thing?

One call away. Always one call away, just like he always was for them. Why was it so hard to let that be true for himself? Why did he have to be so stuck in this mindset of suffering, at some point he had to ask, hadn’t he suffered enough? But the answer was somehow always no.

The scarred nubs pulsed with pain again, pain that shouldn’t even be there. His wings were gone, there was nothing to even be transmitting that pain to. So it got stuck there, radiating something ugly to the rest of his back, making it hard to breathe when it took over his chest. Hurts. Like perpetual shattering in his chest, riding all the way up to his head to make his brain hurt. The inability to focus. They’d all been hanging around him long enough for the emotional connection magic to latch onto each of them. If he didn’t keep his damn walls up they’d all feel it this time.

But it was so hard to keep focus with this damn pain.

Oh, what does it matter anyway? I keep these walls up all the time, even in the times I get to be asleep, it’s so exhausting. YS thought to himself. I wish I didn’t have to. I know it would be so overpowering for everyone if I never put the walls up, I wish the connection didn’t happen but it doesn’t seem like the universe agrees. Can’t dump this all on them, don’t want to. But I’m tired. 

YS stumbled his way to his couch, collapsing quite unceremoniously. He couldn’t even sit back properly, his back ached like a bitch. He laid himself down on his stomach, grumbling and whining the entire time. Oh, he was acting like a toddler, bitching and moaning because of this. Ridiculous how many things could derail his composure. He was supposed to be tough and serious and life stopped him from coming across as that at every possible turn.

“One time, just one time, it would be so nice to not have everything working against me.” YS spoke to no one. “Why do I end up having so many problems, where the hell is my composure? There’s too damn much here. Any normal person would know this is all too much of a burden. I’m not calling them, world, I don’t care if that’s what you’re trying to prove.”

Incredible leaps of logic. Was he refusing to call for comfort because he really did believe he was too much of a burden, or was he just throwing a tantrum for the sake of it? The scars twinged with pain again, making him cringe. He already had to deal with being perpetually tired, why this too?

Tired, achey, bad mood. Several forces working together to smack his head for a loop, thoughts scattered and unfocused. YS let his chin rest on top of his folded arms, glaring at the arm of the couch. Delirium was his best friend at this point. That motherfucker showed up more times than his brothers combined. Fine, if the world wanted him off his ass then he’d be off his ass.

“You know, I almost never let myself dwell on things, like things I want. I don’t think the things I want should be given to me, because I hate myself, and that’s obvious. Why would I let something I hate have the things it wants?”

He was talking to no one. Well, YS supposed he was never really alone. She was always lingering in his microphone. Hah, she probably thought he was acting nuts, talking to the air, being so… un-composed. That wasn’t like him, at least, not since she’d… died.

“Oh, but I want things. I want many things, so many different things. Indulgences. Niceties. I know damn well I am a creature who deserves to suffer and even before then I was supposed to have everything I’d ever need to be happy, but I never did. I wanted. I wasn’t really supposed to do that. That’s how I got here.”

If YS hadn’t torn his own wings off he’d probably have them removed anyways down the line. Angels like him weren’t meant to want things. Not supposed to know what warmth was. Addicted to wanting warmth, that had been the first step of his utter downfall. Because once that had started, he’d started wanting other things. Things he wasn’t supposed to have.

But it was so addicting to want things.

“I wanted you, and I got you.” YS said, looking at his microphone sadly. She glowed red in response. “For a time, I had you. It’s my fault that you had to be taken away so permanently. Because I broke the rules, and I wanted. Wanted you, in my greed, and I took your life with my selfishness.”

YS turned away, biting his lip as the scars pulsed with pain once more.

“I didn’t learn my lesson. I’m still here, sitting here, wanting things. Can’t want things, that will just lead to them dying. But…”

He’d lost her because of his greed. Everyone knew that a wanting angel left to fall down that path would eventually turn into a weeping angel, cursed with eternal tears over what their greed caused them to lose. He hadn’t gotten there yet, somehow, but that meant he’d get there eventually if he kept on what he was doing?

“I want so badly. I thought there were creatures in this world that could be above that, since I was meant to be. I think there still are. I’m not one of them. You know what I want now? Oh, you already know, you keep trying to let me have it. God. So fucking… stupid.”

YS should shut his mouth. No one but her was around to hear this, but that was still enough for his brain to start screaming at him to stop. Not to say this out loud, not to admit it. He was pretty bad at listening to his own brain, though.

“I want to be loved. Constantly, every fucking second of the day, I want to feel loved. I want to be able to bask in it, in such warm attention, and it’s so… stupid. I want everything I used to have, with you, but I know I can’t. And now there’s a chance to get close to it again. Not the same, but still love, and I still want it.”

YS tried not to let his thoughts drift to his other selves, but he failed miserably. His other selves, his now brothers. A bunch of stupid, idiotic, annoying assholes who still kept coming around for him. Why? Had they been given better mirror-walking as a test? To prove a point? Seeing how they would constantly come through his mirror not just because they could, but because they wanted to.

He’d tried to get them to attach to each other. That had been part of his plan. If they were going to have superior mirror-walking, at least they could bother and support each other, and he could slip away into irrelevance until he was completely forgotten. But they hadn’t done that. Sure, he had no doubts that they still traveled around worlds to each other, to hang out and be stupid, but they still made time to come to him. They came by so often, and it made his heart burn.

It made his eyes burn too, no matter how desperately he tried to stop it.

“I love my brothers.” YS breathed, almost overwhelmed. Where was all this space in his heart for love coming from, after being so damn empty for so long? “God, fuck, I love my brothers so much, it’s almost painful to think about. I didn’t think I could feel like that again. Loving someone so much it makes it hard to even breathe, doesn’t matter the kind of love it is, does it? There- This can’t all just be me being lonely, right? We’re dodging around the rules of the multiverse, fucking around and hanging out when each universe is confused as to why there’s more than one of us in it at a time. There has to be some bent up rule trying to compensate for that. I feel like my brain is going haywire trying to understand there’s other versions of me wanting to care for me. Physically in front of me, I mean…”

Oh who was he kidding. He was talking to her like she could even respond. Resting gently on the small coffee table in front of the couch, still glowing her lovely shade of red. His facade was completely broken at this point, having been crumbling for weeks the more his brothers came around, caring for him. Loving him when he swore up and down he needed to suffer. They’d all gotten so attached so quickly, that had to be at least partially due to messing around with the multiverse.

“It’s weird.” YS sighed. “Seeing me in front of me, that isn’t part of me. I can normally ignore it but it’s always there in the back of my head, confusing my mind. Making me want to do stupid shit. Being physically affectionate seems like a universal attribute but it’s like it gets sent into overdrive when they’re in front of me. Like I need to hug them and not let go. Like… what’s me doing without me? Some weird instinct to try and become whole again when I was never fragmented in the first place…”

He himself was to blame for it anyway. He’d been the dumbass to cross between worlds in the first place. Still metronome between deciding if it had been a good or bad idea in the end. Still so full of doubts and hesitations, issues flashing across his mind like error messages. He wouldn’t be here feeling love again if he hadn’t done it. But…

None of them would’ve known I existed, none of them having to go through the dread of knowing there’s a world out there where they lost it all. None of them having to feel so repulsed by me. None of them having to feel responsible for me. None of them having to end up with a washed-up brother figure they never even asked for.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He said eventually. Honestly. Admitting to things he was bottling for so long. “I really miss you. I know I said I was going to join you soon, and I really did mean that. But I can’t… they’re stopping me. And I’m phrasing that like it’s a bad thing but it isn’t, is it?”

Huh. Her glow seemed to grow brighter at that.

“I don’t think anyone wanted that plan to go through but me. Sometimes I might still think it should.” YS mused, flipping over onto his back. Funny, he didn’t even realize his pain was gone. “I think I just get so lost in my own mind too much. I should really stop doing that… Kinda hard to stop when I’m alone. I don’t know where my strength has gone.”

He knew where it had gone, he was lying through his teeth. His strength hadn’t existed since the day he lost her. So much of himself had died with her, or so he’d thought. The others, they were pulling things out of him that he’d thought were gone. Thoughts, feelings, actions. Was this healing, perhaps?

“I really outsourced my own self-healing.” YS chuckled, shaking his head at the absurdity. “That’s so fucking dumb. But fitting. I wasn’t ever the smartest to begin with.”

Content, he decided, was not a feeling he’d felt in a long while. Somehow he was feeling it now. Hah, look, he didn’t have to call for comfort after all. Not that it would’ve been a bad thing to do really. However, if he had done so, he wouldn’t have said any of what he did. The bottle would still be full. Despite always insisting the rest of them use him to vent to, YS never felt like he should open up to them. Probably a lingering consequence of the first incident…

YS got lost in his own thoughts again, his rambling to the air coming to a close. He felt better, and his back pain was over now. That was good, right? He felt fine. Like a weird middle ground, but at least it wasn't crushing negativity for now.

And what was Herself doing, still glowing on the table? Oh, nothing much really, only perhaps amplifying the connection her love shared with his other selves. It was baseline magic, no harm in adding on more to make the signal stronger, right? No harm in strengthening it enough for all of them to hear exactly what he’d been saying the whole time, even across the multiverse, right?

Nah, no harm. YS would never know.

Never know of the ear-splitting, watery-eyed grin stuck on Biff’s face. Never know of the content, happy fog that settled in Beefer’s mind, blocking out all of his own negativity despite living in it in real time. Never know of the positive turmoil his words set off in Beef and Bee’s heads, wondering what they’d done to deserve it. Never know of the glee festering in the chests of Boyf and Peacock, spreading across their bodies and warming up their thoughts. Never know of the happiness from Blue, knowing his love and care was returned. Never know of the spark of hope Cyber felt.

YS had let his walls fall in his silly little tantrum, she’d just helped nudge it in the right direction.

[hplonesomeart]

Guys I’ve been thinking about these two all month…they deserved some more time together and if we don’t get to see that happen canonically then I’ll just need to take matters into my own hands and manifest a universe where they joke around together. This is serious business

Also just felt like this audio matched the dynamic well :))

[iruntoosillyformyowngood]

Introductory to this blog

Since the recent postings of my Ultrakill art and fanart gaining traction, along with people noticing it I should probably introduce myself. Hello, my name is Sei.

I draw fanart and my own ocs from other fandoms. (you could call it those, I don't really identify with being in any fandoms)

I am also a writer, known as 89WaysToCry on AO3, with my very first original work still a work in progress, based on a Heretic and a Believer. (since a good number of Ultrakill fans have flocked to my art, perhaps you'd also like my writing)

I love theories, and ideas along the like about video games, mainly Ultrakill, but also Portal, SCP, Stray, Half-Life, Doom, BATIM/BATDR, and mainly Destiny.

PLEASE BE ADVISED that I may reblog slightly SUGGESTIVE stuff on tumblr mainly because I enjoy the artstyle of the poster.

That being said, I hope you new followers and even people that skim over my art stick around, I do have another account that is a work in progress comic as well. (on indefinite hiatus at the moment of writing) Anyways, thank you to everyone who has liked and reblogged my things, and maybe even followed! It makes my day to see people enjoying the stuff I do, or maybe even just noticing a little bit.

That's all.

My Links:

[stardust-make-a-wish]

.💭

[moon-my-beloved]

neighbors (tf141 x fem! reader)

part I: first impressions

tw: mentions of crappy parents, angst, and reader being absolutely terrible at socializing. that’s all babes - xoxo

you really weren’t sure why you were so.. anxious.

ever since encountering your (undeniably ethereal) neighbors arrive, you became a little more self-conscious when getting out of the house. that same day, you had carefully and quietly made your way towards auntie lotties house once you were in the clear that the men would not be coming outside any time soon.

“oh dear! what’s got you in such a hurry, luv?” auntie lottie had said in shock, letting you into the comfort of her home and ushering you to sit down while she got you a glass of water.

“i think I’ve just made a fool of myself,” you said in dejection, telling her of the shit show you just did upon meeting your neighbors. a hearty chuckle making itself known once the older woman came back with the glass of water she had promised.

“don’t be silly, they probably didn’t even see you! besides, you will eventually talk to them sooner or later.”

you didn’t even want to think about the possibility of bumping into them any time soon. what would you even say? ‘hey I’m your neighbor from across the street. sorry you caught me peeping at you all like some fucking creep.”

in hopes of just keeping your mind off of the men that have been haunting your thoughts, you asked auntie lottie if she had any new ideas for her next recipe in which you were grateful for when the woman spent most of your stay ranting about a new sponge cake recipe she had seen.

you spent most of your evening with auntie lottie and the sun had already set down by the time you bid your goodbyes to her. the crisp, fresh air blowing on your skin making you sigh in containment as you make your way back home. the sky was clear today, lifting your head up just enough to see how the stars twinkle against the night sky and how the moon cascaded a small glow over the land with how bright it looked. you don’t realize you’ve already arrived to your destination before another rush of cold air snaps you out of your haze.

living by yourself feels great, there’s no questioning that. but you can’t help at times feel that daunting feeling of loneliness claw its way to your mind and make your heart ache in wanting to at least come back home to someone. that desire to be wanted.

your family was a lost cause. practically forgetting all about you once you turned eighteen and went to college. no text messages or phone calls were ever heard from them throughout all those years. small christmas cards being sent here and there that read, “we hope you’re doing well. - mom and dad. friends? they were all living their own lives. building themselves an actual family with their soon-to-be husbands or wife’s. some of them already having kids of their own. you were too scared, too aware of yourself to taint them with any unwanted things. you were never good with people.

god you sound pathetic.

shaking your head a bit, you make your way up the small steps and take out your keys, daring to take a small glance at the house across from you. your eyes catch a small light coming from one of the windows, the silhouette of people walking by visible even though the curtain.

you wonder what they did for work. lottie hadn’t mentioned anything of what they do. from the looks of it, it’s definitely something that keeps them away from home for long periods of time.

your brainstorming is cut off short, eyes widening a bit when someone from the other side of the window suddenly stops in front of it. without a second to waste, you hurriedly make your way inside. your heart pounding out of your chest as you lean your back against the door.

fucking hell.

you had been avoiding them like the plague. successfully staying away from any unwanted attention even when you sometimes caught glimpses of chocolate eyes and mohawk taking their morning run while getting ready for work. ignoring the way your face burned up in shame.

or even at times when you would see skull face reading a book with mutton chops. tea on their sides as they enjoyed the sound of birds chirping and wind chimes bumping against each other with every gust of wind.

they all looked so.. content. and for some reason you just knew they were a family. one with each other with the way they maneuvered themselves with one another. so natural.

nevertheless, you were doing a great job… until you weren’t.

you had been getting off your shift when you decided it was a good idea to do a small grocery run. with the holidays coming and the weather becoming increasingly colder by the days, you needed to stock up before there was nothing left.

so here you were. a coat over your shoulders, still in your work clothes and heels digging into your feet uncomfortably. pushing a cart and checking off items from your list as you went.

stores were busy during this time of year. christmas songs were played through the speakers along with decorations filling every corner of the store. kids bustling around their parents in excitement with every toy they pointed out to.

by the time you were done checking off the last item from your list, you were exhausted.

“maybe a small treat would be nice..” you mutter to yourself, making your way to the snack aisle and barely making it past the corner before a scottish accent calls out your name.

you pause abruptly, turning your head to the sound as your eyes widened in utter shock when realization dawns at you.

two of your neighbors were standing there, just a few feet from you. mohawk giving you a wolfish grin while waving a teasing hand at you. the other man sending an apologetic smile your way for his friends behavior. god he was so much prettier up close.

“that’s ye right?” only being able to nod as his large body makes its way towards your direction. ocean eyes pinning you down in place with the way they roam around you, analyzing you. he wore a leather jacket, white shirt underneath that did nothing but enhance the way his chest stretched over the material. he wore a nice pair of jeans, topping of his outfit with a pair of black boots. he definitely had that bad-boy style look to him.

“way to make a lady feel comfortable mactavish. I’m sorry about him, luv. auntie lottie had mentioned us having a new neighbor and wanted to put a face to the name. I’m kyle, by the way, and this dog here is johnny.” the pretty man said, earning a small scoff from johnny, grumbling something about kyle not being any better than him. he wore a nice umber coat accompanied by a black turtleneck underneath. black slacks adoring his legs and a nice pair of chelsea boots. you would not even question if he was a model.

shit, you had been staring for too long, barely finding your voice before uttering something that sounded at least somewhat normal.

“I’m sorry for not introducing myself sooner, I don’t really get out much.” a nervous chuckle making its way past your lips as you try so hard to not make it so obvious of how you’ve been the one avoiding them this whole time.

“‘na need tae apologize bonnie. jus’ glad we caught ye jus’ in time. a’m sure tha’ other lads would love tae meet ye.” a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that can only be described as up-to-no-good with the way he’s staring at you.

“what he means is if you would like to come over some time, meet the rest of the team.” a charming smile plastered against his perfect lips that you don’t have it in your heart to say no. (not like you were going to in the first place)

you exchange numbers with johnny and kyle not missing the way their lingering gazes stay on you even after they leave.

sweet treat long forgotten.

a/n: we finally meet half of the boys RAAAA. i hope you guys like this chapter and if there’s anything that should be fixed like my god awful interpretation of scottish accent, please let me know! 😭 enjoy mis amores! <3

[xoamiiren]

KISSES AFTER CHAOS, ⋆｡°✩ 𓈒𓈒 making up

𖥔 PRECIS. they comfort you after a silly disagreement. PAIRING. patient bf!enha x stubborn gf!reader GENRE. fluff WARNINGS. skinship, mild kissing, pet names

authors note ୨୧ I kept these all fairly simple and sweet. I think Jake’s is my favorite only because I can see it so clearly.

─────────

HEESEUNG

Heeseung stood nearby, glancing over at you while pretending to be busy, giving you your space after your argument.

Each time he tried to approach or touch you, you yanked away, so he respected your silent request for distance.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave you alone entirely.

Instead, he watched as you moved around the room, doing small tasks for you even when you’d roll your eyes and mutter “I can do it myself”, feeling the tension between you.

You worked quietly, but you could sense his eyes on you. As you huffed and passed by him one more time, trying to brush by quickly, Heeseung’s hand suddenly caught your wrist.

His soft voice broke the silence.

"C’mere," he murmured, pulling you into his chest.

His arms wrapped around you tightly, his chin resting on your head as he kissed your hair.

"I’m sorry, love... okay? I’m sorry..." he whispered, the warmth of his embrace melting your resistance.

A small, knowing smirk tugged at his lips when you nodded quietly and hugged around his waist. He was fully aware of how dramatic you could be, but he adored it.

JAY

After 20 minutes or so, Jay figured you had calmed down after your blow-up.

So, he made his way to you and found you sitting at your desk in your shared bedroom.

Jay pulled the chair out and knelt down in front of you, bringing himself to your eye level, his gaze softening as he spoke.

“Baby... I’m sorry. This is stupid, and I want us to work through it... is that alright?”

His hand reached up to gently fix a strand of your hair, his touch tender as he rubbed your thighs and knees, waiting for any kind of response.

When you stayed silent, still stubbornly holding your ground, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, sensual kiss.

Pulling back, Jay raised his eyebrows with a playful smirk, imitating your shocked expression.

“We’re done fighting,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Get dressed, we’re going out.”

JAKE

Jake found you on the bed, sitting up against the headboard, staring out the window in silence after snapping over something minor.

He approached cautiously, not wanting to push too soon.

His pinky softly hooked with yours, a gentle, hesitant touch.

When you pulled away and crossed your arms, he played with the hem of your shirt instead, his fingers brushing your skin as he looked at you with those irresistible puppy eyes, waiting for you to break.

When you still didn’t budge, Jake leaned in closer, his voice soft.

“Come closer, (y/n)… please? I’m sorry…”

He carefully slotted himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your hips, swaying the both of you gently.

Even though you were still sulking, Jake couldn’t help but chuckle a little, amusement in his tone.

“Baby~ let’s stop. Hm?” He nuzzled into your neck, waiting for you to finally give in to his warmth.

SUNGHOON

After your argument, Sunghoon gave you space, taking a quiet drive to clear his head.

It had been insignificant, but knowing you were upset, he knew better than to let it fester.

When he came back, you were still in the living room, lost in thought.

Without a word, he walked up behind you, gently grabbing your hips and pulling you back against him with, before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“C’mon... let’s talk,” he murmured.

He took your hand, pulling you toward the bedroom.

You purposely dragged your feet, a little pout on your face, whilst you rolled your eyes.

But inside, you were secretly excited.

Sunghoon glanced over his shoulder with a knowing smirk, shaking his head.

“What am I gonna do with you, (Y/n)…” he sighed, his voice playful as he tugged you in behind him.

“I have a few ideas…” you shrug, walking past him towards the bed.

He raises a brow, but shuts the bedroom door before moving towards you.

He has a special way of apologizing.

SUNOO

Sunoo always preferred giving you both some time to cool off after an argument, but it wasn’t long before he started making his way back into your good graces.

“Babe, I’m gonna do my skincare, maybe have a bath… come with me?” he called out, peeking around the corner at with hopeful eyes, he was even shirtless in hopes you’d cave.

“I’m busy, Sunoo.”, you’d retort, back turned.

When that didn’t work, he tried again later, finding you in the living room, sprawled out on the couch.

With more enthusiasm in his voice, he smiled.

“(Y/n), there’s a new drama we should watch together!”

“Hm…”, you sighed, rolling over onto your belly and closing your eyes.

Seeing you still didn’t budge, he finally sighed, coming over to where you laid, kicking your foot gently.

“Mm, you’re still mad?”, he pouted before kneeling down beside you.

“You aren’t still mad at me, are you?”

When you sat up and glared at him, he grinned.

Without waiting for an answer, he started kissing your cheeks, then your forehead, moving across your face with soft, playful pecks until you couldn’t help but smile and give in.

JUNGWON

After your blow-up, Jungwon quietly stepped out, giving you the space he knew you needed.

He didn’t hover, knowing that pushing to fix things right away would only make things worse.

So, he left for a bit, letting you sit with your thoughts.

When he returned, the soft sound of the door closing made you glance up, and there he was—carrying a small bouquet of flowers and a box of your favorite sweets.

Without a word, he sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much.

You just stared, biting your lip gently.

He placed the flowers next to you, his gaze soft as he waited for you to speak first.

"See the flowers?" he asked gently, his voice warm and patient.

You nodded, reaching out to touch the velvety petals carefully, your eyes growing glossy.

"You like them?", he added, cat-like gaze wide and in search of approval.

You looked between him and the bouquet, the tension between you two starting to ease just a little.

Jungwon shifted closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I know you didn’t mean everything you said,” he whispered, his thumb softly tracing your cheek.

“I didn’t…” you shook your head.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice quiet, almost tentative, like he was asking for permission to step back into your heart.

“Please…?”

NI-KI

When you and Ni-ki fought, especially over something as petty as this, he never felt the need to avoid you.

Instead, he did what he did best—get on your nerves.

The first time you stormed past him, your hips swaying with frustration, he didn’t hesitate. His hand playfully slapped your butt, a cheeky grin spreading across his face when you whipped around to glare at him, completely unamused.

He just shrugged, his smile only growing wider.

When that didn’t break your mood, he upped his game, messing with your things. While you were in the shower, he snuck in and swiped your towel, leaving you to yell after him.

But the final straw came later, as you sat on the bed, getting ready to turn in for the night.

Just when you thought he’d given up, Ni-ki tackled you.

Full-on WWE-style, his arms wrapped around you in a headlock as you both tumbled across the sheets.

“Ni-ki! Get off of me!” you barked, but the laughter in your voice was clear.

He held on tighter, laughing into your ear.

“But you’re so sexy when you’re mad!” he teased, making it impossible for you to stay annoyed any longer as you dissolved into giggles beneath him.

[skrunksthatwunk]

ohhhhh no. fuck my stupid baka life fuck my stupid baka life fuck my stupid baka life fuck my stupid baka life. this shit isn't funny anymore guys!!!!!! it's pretty fucking unfunny and you're still laughing!!!!!!!! god. dammit. literally just run me over with a car what the fuck

[fallingformatt]

BIRTHDAY SEX M.S.

bestfriend!Matt x fem!reader

summary: Matt can’t control himself seeing you in your black, little dress you’re wearing for your birthday, so he gifts himself to you.

warnings: THIS IS PURE FILTH!!! Fingering (f receiving) oral (m receiving) unprotected sex

word count: 3.4k

a/n: This one’s long, but I’ve had this scenario in my head for so long, I promise you won’t regret reading this. not proofread.

➽───────────────❥

It was my 20th birthday today, I didn’t want to do much for my birthday as I didn’t want to deal with the planning of everything. I decided that I was going to buy myself a cake and just celebrate by myself.

It’s almost 6 pm and it’s starting to get dark outside, I decided to blow out my birthday candles so I quickly got ready to be pretty for myself, I decided to leave on my pink silk robe after taking a shower and decided not to change into anything special. I put on some makeup and put rollers in my hair. A true housewife birthday. I sat down on the floor at my living room coffee table ready to light up the candles when I heard a knock at my door. Confused I get up to see who it is, I open the door and it’s Matt.

“Hey birthday girl! Happy birthday!” He says happily with a huge smile on his face as he gives me a tight hug.

“Matt, what are you doing here?” I ask confused by his unexpected arrival.

I scan him head to toe getting even more confused. He’s wearing oversized jeans that are only held on by his belt and a black t-shirt “Why aren’t you in sweatpants? Are you going somewhere?” I ask confused.

“No silly WE are going somewhere. Did you really think I was going to forget your birthday? That’s what best friends are for. C'mon get dressed, everyone is already there” Matt said keeping the big smile on his face. My confusion wasn’t cleared up not even a bit, why was he here, where are we going, and why is everyone already there?

Without saying anything he enters my apartment and walks to the living room plopping into my white, big couch. “Aw how sweet, you were gonna blow out your birthday candles, the cake can wait, get dressed,” he said as he pulled out his phone from the pocket of his oversized jeans. Still confused I walk past him and into my room to get dressed leaving a small part of my door open so I can hear him.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going” I shout from my room as I strip down from my pink robe walking over to my dresser to find a bra and panties. I pull out a matching black set. A sheer black mesh part for the bra with a small pink bow in the middle of the bra and the same cute little bow on the back of the thong.

“You’ll find out when we get there, get dressed quickly,” he says.

“Well I don’t know what to wear if I don’t know where we’re going” I angrily said and looked at the door as I put on my lingerie and was now headed to my closet.

Suddenly I hear fast footsteps coming towards my room and the next second Matt is in my room looking at me only in my lingerie. My eyes widen as he looks at me, staring me down and a smirk creeps on his lips.

“Well you know what lingerie to wear I think you’ll figure out what to wear,” he says teasingly.

I grab a pillow from my bed and throw it at him “Get out Matt” I shout.

He puts up his hands on either side of his chest making a ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ face before leaving my room and once again sitting down on the white couch.

“Wear that little black dress you got, the one that shows off your ass every time you take a step” he shouts in a low voice from the living room.

My eyes widen as I hear the words coming from the living room “Matthew are you constantly looking at my ass?!” I shout angrily while sifting through my closet to find something to wear.

“You can’t blame me, you do look hot in that little black dress,” he answers.

'That's it, you know what Matt? I will wear that dress, just to tease you and get revenge for walking in on me changing' I thought to myself.

I quickly searched through my closet and my eyes lit up when I saw the dress Matt was talking about. It really was a small black dress, which I had worn maybe like 3 times total. The dress bearly covered my ass and the top of the dress was finished with a small lace trim. I quickly put on the dress and walked to the mirror which is located above my dresser. While looking at the mirror I take out the rollers from my hair giving me the perfect blowout look. I put in my favorite gold earrings, and touch up my lips with some lip liner and lip gloss, I put on my favorite kitten heels and finally spray on some perfume, which made me and the room smell like coffee and vanilla. I took a last look in the mirror and I was feeling myself, 'I look so good, good thing I did my makeup and put my hair in rollers' I thought to myself.

I walk out of my room and see Matt's head turning to look at me, his cheerful, innocent gaze turning dark as a lustful smile creeps on his face as he stares me down leaving his gaze on my legs and my ass.

"You look so good princess," he says as he gets up from the couch walking closer to me. "You ready to go beautiful?" he asks.

"Yeah let's go” I say as I walk past him heading for the door as I grab my little black channel bag that the triplets got me as a gift for my last birthday. It goes perfectly with my outfit.

Matt follows me outside and I lock the door behind me and we head to his car. We both get in and Matt pulls out of the parking lot. He starts driving and puts on some music as he drives. The inside of the car is dark and the only light is coming from the street lights but I still can see Matt if I look at him.

Im looking outside the window admiring the view as we pull up to a fancy restaurant. “We’re here,” Matt says and I turn to look at him and see him staring at my thighs while licking his lips. I turn my head to look back outside the window as I smirk to myself that my plan is working. I open the car door to get to out and purposely pop out my butt while getting out. Matt also gets out the car and locks it.

We walk to the entrance of the restaurant and Matt holds the door open for me. As I walk past him I nod my head as a ‘thank you’. While walking in further I feel Matt’s hand on my lower back guiding me to where we should go. We get to this big round table in the middle of the restaurant and everyone is sitting around the fancy set up table. I smile as I look at everyone and wave.

“I brought the birthday girl” Matt says cheerfully and pulls me closer to his side. Everyone wishes me a happy birthday and we sit down at the table and the only free seats were next to each other.

We all enjoy each other’s company and the delicious food while talking with each other. Through out the whole dinner I was ignoring Matt and not paying any attention to him, talking with everyone but him.

“Did you like the surprise?” Chris asks while sitting across the table from me. I continue the conversation, when suddenly I feel a cold hand creeping its way on my thigh under the table. My eyes widen and my head instantly shoots to look at Matt. He slowly turns to look at me and has a smirk plastered across his face his blue eyes growing dark with dirty intentions. I try to brush his hand off of my thigh but he wraps his hand tighter around my thigh as his cold rings dig in to my skin. I give up and try not to draw any attention to whats going on.

As the evening continues, I continue to ignore him, ‘if he wants to leave his hand on my thigh he can, but he’s not getting any of my attention’ I think to myself.

While I’m talking with Madi, Matt notices that I don’t care about his hand on my thigh. Mid sentence, I feel his hand sliding up closer to my core and my breath hitches. “Are you okay?” Madi asks with concerned expression. “Yeah I’m fine, where were we?” I respond still continuing to ignore Matt and not giving into his touch.

Suddenly I feel Matt’s hand moving even further, his fingers reaching and tracing my clothed clit. I squeeze my thighs together and let out a heavy breath, feeling myself getting wet. “Are you really okay?” Nick now asks me. I know this won’t end and I don’t want anyone to catch us so I had to lie, I try to gather myself so I can answer Nick. “I’m not sure, I think I need to lay down” I answer. “Oh, that’s not good,” Nick says, making a sad expression before continuing, “Matt could you take her home, and see if she’s alr-“ before Nick even got to finish his sentence Matt removes his hand from my thigh completely before he quickly gets up and nods to Nick. I also get up, “thank you everyone, this was such a great surprise, I’m so sorry it has to end this way” I say as I push the chair I was sitting in to the table. “It’s okay, get well soon” Madi said, I said bye to everyone and we left.

I rushed out of the restaurant heading to the car. Matt unlocked the car and I quickly got in. Matt also gets in and starts the car. “What was that” I say with an angry tone, “We could’ve been caught” I continue and look outside the window as the car starts to move. “Looks like the birthday girl knows how to get away with a lie. I know what you were doing, I love that little black dress” Matt says, his voice filled with lust. “We can’t be doing this, this is a bad idea, you’re my best friend, what if everyone finds out?” I answer with a question, still looking outside of the window. “It doesn’t matter, you’re the birthday girl” Matt answers.

The car was silent, I continued to stare outside the window when the thought of Matt’s hand on my thigh crosses my mind. I feel myself getting wet again and I bite my bottom lip as I look in the window seeing Matts reflection, I see his smirk as he continues to drive focusing on the road. As I was about to turn my head, I feel his cold hand on my thigh once again. I let out a small moan as I sink deeper into the seat. His hand moving closer and closer until reaching my heat, his thumb started rubbing circles on my clit. I let out a moan as I turn my head to look at him. Matt however does not take his eyes off the road, smirk still stuck on his face. I’ve never seen Matt like this, but thats why it’s turning me on even more, I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but it feels so good.

He moves my thong to the side with his two fingers in one quick motion then proceeds to move his fingers up and down my heat before pushing two fingers in to me, I let out a loud moan throwing back my head, my hand reaching for the seatbelt so that I have something to hold on to. He moves his fingers in and out of me curling them giving me unimaginable pleasure. He continues to pump his fingers in to me, slowly increasing the speed. “Ohh fuck Matt, it feels so good” I moan out as I switch out the seatbelt for his arm to hold on.

I start to move my hips back and forth as I hold on to him. My breathing gets uneasy as I feel my orgasm coming. “Please Matt, don’t stop, your fingers feel so good” I moan. Matt still ignoring me and keeping his eyes on the road. “Matt I’m so close” I moan out and the next moment he pulls his fingers out of me. I let out a frustrated moan from the loss of contact. He’s still not looking at me, he’s ignoring me. “Please Matt, I need you” I say with a frustrated tone. No answer. “Please, I need you, I’m so close” I beg as I grind my hips against the leather car seat trying to release the pressure built up in my stomach. Silence fills the car as we stop at a red light. “I’m sorry for ignoring you, I really nee-“ I almost cry out looking at him, but before I even get to finish Matt turns his head, his eyes staring right in to mine and his fingers sharply enter me once more. I moan out but I don’t take my eyes off of his. He curls his fingers in me and his speed quickens. I quickly feel my climax coming and I put my hand on his pushing his fingers deeper. Two more thrusts and I feel the tension in my stomach releasing. I let a loud almost scream like moan still looking in his eyes, now both of my hands holding on to his arm as I ride out my high. I pant heavily and Matt once again turns his head to look at the road as the red light turns green.

I try to calm down my breathing as we pull into my apartment’s parking lot. I quickly get out, Matt following quickly after. I grab his hand and lead him to my front door as fast as I can. I unlock my front door and yank him in. He closes the door and with one swift motion he turns me around and presses my back against the door smashing his lips on to mine. He licks my lips asking for entrance and then his tongue explores my mouth. His hands running over my body moving from my waist to my ass to the bottom hem of my dress. He breaks the kiss and looks down at my dress “Oh god how I love that little, black dress,” Matt says in a dark but quiet tone.

His lips pushing onto mine again, my hands creep around, one stopping to rest on his chest as the other moves to the nape of his head. His hands travel to my ass once again, giving me a quick slap before grabbing and pulling on it signaling me to jump. I do just that and his hands move to hold my ass as I wrap my legs around his waist.

Continuing the kiss, Matt turns around and starts walking to the living room. He lays me down on the couch breaking the kiss. He looks to his side and a smirk creeps up on him as he stands up and quickly shuffles through his pockets pulling out a lighter. He lights the candles on the cake and I get off the couch and kneel so that I’m able to blow out the candles. “Make a wish, birthday girl,” Matts says his voice dark with a hint of pure filth. I close my eyes as I make a wish. I blow out the candles and open my eyes looking up at Matt. I see his smirk as he looks down at me licking his lips.

He reaches for the cake and brushes his thumb over the icing. He moves his thumb and pushes it against my lips. “Open,” Matt says firmly and I do as he says. He pushes his thumb in my mouth and I suck the icing off of it. “Mmmm, tastes so sweet,” I say as I look up at him innocently, teasing him. I brush my hand over his crotch, gently rubbing his dick. He rolls his eyes as he throws back his head, moan escaping his lips.

I quickly unbuckle his belt, causing his pants to fall to the floor. I massage his cock through his boxers and he winces. “Don’t tease me,” he says almost whispering. I don’t think twice as I hook my fingers on his Calvin Klein boxers waistband pulling them down. His cock slips out and smacks his stomach before falling. I lick my lips before grabbing his cock licking the tip. I lick from his tip to the base of his cock before moving my head back opening my mouth and wrapping my lips around his hard dick. I bobbed my head on his cock and pumped with my hand the part that I couldn’t reach.

I looked up at him through my eyelashes only to find him staring down at me his mouth slightly opened as he breathes out heavily. I continue to suck his dick and his hands move to my head, gathering my hair making a ponytail. While staring in his eyes I quicken my pace and Matt lets out a load moan letting his head fall back. “Oh you feel so good around my cock baby” he moans. His voice making my mouth water and I start to move even faster, loud slurps can be heard as I suck him off. “Don’t stop, I’m close,” he grunts out. He pushes my head further down his cock thrusting it in my mouth. Tears start to roll off my cheeks and my mascara with them. I look up at him and he lets a moan fall from his lips. I move my head a few more times before gagging as there’s no more air. He inhales sharply as he stops thrusting releasing his seed in my mouth and then moans. I move my mouth off of his dick, a string of saliva connected from his tip to my lips, I look up at him as I swallow his cum and he releases my hair.

He grabs my hand as he helps me get up before pushing me down on my white couch. He crawls over me and leaves a kiss on my neck before his hand moves to the cake and he breaks a small peace off placing it into his mouth. He pushes lips on mine and his tongue immediately entering my mouth. The taste of his tongue mixed with the sweet cake is driving me insane. I feel the wetness dripping down from my pussy and I wrap my hands around his neck pulling him deeper into the kiss before breaking it. “Matt, I need you in me,” I say.

Matt pulls up my dress enough to give himself access to my dripping hole. “I like your panties,” Matt says winking at me before quickly sliding them down my legs. “You’re so wet for me,” he growls and takes his cock in his hand pumping it a few times, then he starts rubbing it up and down my folds to collect my wetness before pushing his length in to me. “Oh my god,” I gasp as I grab on to his tattooed bicep. He starts thrusting into me with slow but hard thrusts. His head falls in the nape of my neck as he leaves kisses and occasionally sucking and biting on my skin. “You’re so tight, oh my god,” Matt moans as he quickens his thrusts. I feel my orgasm coming again.

“Matt don’t stop, I’m about to cum,” I whine as my walls close around his pulsating cock. Matt thrusts deep and fast, his tip kissing my g-spot. My hips shoot up, orgasm taking over me, my pleasure sending shivers down my spine. I start to shake as he continues to thrust in me deeper than ever before getting stiff. “Ohhh fuckkkk,” he lets out growl like moan, leaning his forehead against my collar bone as he bites my shoulder before planting his cum inside me as my legs shake as I’m coming down from my high.

He plops next to me trying to catch his breath. “That’s my birthday girl,” Matt says as he looks at me. “Did your birthday wish come true?” He asks and a smirk creeps up on his face. I grab a piece of the cake and shove it in his mouth, “shut up.” I say laughing.

[jinx-isha-forever]

Kiss it Better

(Jinx x fem!reader)

Summary: you are making Jinx a knife in her workshop, but cut yourself in the process. Jinx fixes you up

Warnings: blood. hand injury.

A/N: This is an idea I’ve had for a while. Enjoy!

“Dammit.” The knife you were holding slipped. Cutting your hand in the process. Blood starts to drip on to the table.

“Shit no.” You quietly curse yourself.

You grab a random rag, trying to clean the mess.

You were no stranger to building stuff. You were actually pretty good at it.

However, this was your first time working in Jinx’s workshop.

So, you weren’t too familiar with all the different tools.

You also, were working too quickly, wanting to finish the knife, before Jinx got back.

Which led to the knife slipping.

You huff. Frustrated at yourself. You start to look for the first aid kit. Jinx moves it around daily. So, it could be anywhere.

You kneel down, looking through some boxes when you hear a noise……

-Jinx is coming-

You scramble to your feet. Putting your injured hand behind your back.

“Hey”a toots! Why are you in my workshop hu?”

Jinx walks in. Mischief in her eyes, looking you over.

“Did you just miss me that much?”

She says teasingly, getting closer to you.

You take a step back. Trying to stand in front of the unfinished knife laying on the table.

“Umm….hiii.” You say awkwardly, holding your injured hand tightly behind your back.

“You know me. I ahhh….just needed to ummm….” You continue to take steps back, until you hit the edge of the work table.

“Hey! Whatcha hidden behind your back?” She raises an eyebrow, a smirk on her face.

“Did you get me somethin? Oooor what?”

She presses. Getting even closer. Now only a few feet away.

“Come on….let me see. The suspense is killing me.”

She says dramatically, putting her lip out in a pouting manner.

“No it’s not what you think. I was-“

Jinx quickly grabs your shoulder, spinning you around, playfully giggling.

But stops when she sees the blood.

“Wh….what happen?”

You turn back around to look at her, holding your injured hand.

“Jinx I-“

“Who did this to you?”

Her playful demeanor is gone. Her voice is serous.

“Give me a name.” She demands.

“No it’s not like that…. No one hurt me.”

She looks at you confused.

“Then what…. I…. I don’t understand—“

“Accident…. It was an accident. I was making you a knife…and working to fast, trying to finish before you got back….. then the knife slipped and well-“

You stop rambling. Holding up your injured hand.

Jinx becomes lighter, letting out a breath.

“Aww….you made me a knife..”

“Surpriseeee…..”

You say, rubbing the back of your neck with your good hand.

Jinx is standing right in front of you. A soft smile on her lips.

“Y’know that’s really sweet of you trinket…”

She tucks a strain of hair behind your ear making you blush.

“Now….. let’s get you fixed up!”

Her eyes start darting around.

“There should be a first aid kit somewhereeeee.” She begins looking under tables.

“Aaaha! Found it!”

You look at the small container. It had neon paint splattered all over it.

You jump up on the work table.

“Okay. Let me see what I’m working with.”

She motions to your hand.

“I mean, It’s not that bad. I think I can just do it myself.”

You say looking at the bandages.

“Don’t be silly. I promise I’ll be careful. Okay.”

You pause, before nodding, giving her your hand.

“I trust you Jinx.” Your voice just above a whisper. Jinx’s cheeks flushed at your words.

She looks down at your injury.

The cut wasn’t too deep, but it ran across your thumb to the back of your hand.

“Soooo, we’ve definitely got to clean this. Which is gonna sting like pretty bad.”

You nod. Ready.

Jinx pours a liquid over your hand.

You slightly wince at the sensation.

She starts to softly blow on the wound. Which helped soothe the nerves.

“There we go….all clean.”

She glances up at you briefly.

“You know….you have really pretty hands.”

Her voice is soft as she holds your hands with care.

“Jinx.” you roll your eyes.

“What…..you do.”

She smirks.

“Now we just have to rap it up!”

She grabs some gauze and begins to carefully rap it around your hand.

“When I’m all done I’m gonna draw tiny little doodles all over hand.”

She says, poking your hand.

You let out a little laugh. Watching her wind the gauze around and around your hand.

“And there we go, all better! You’re as good as new!”

She chuckles lightly.

“How do you feel?”

“It feels a lot better! Thank you doctor Jinx.”

You say in a funny voice, as you begin to stand.

“Oh wait wait wait…. I almost forgot.”

She looks at you mischief in her eyes once again.

“I gotta kiss it better. Otherwise, all my hard work will have been for nothing.”

You pause. Before deciding to play along.

“Well, we can’t have that. My hand might fall off or something as a result.”

You look closely at your bandaged hand.

“Exactly!”

She holds your injured hand up kissing it softly.

“Oh and aw…give me the other one too.”She kisses your other hand.

“And just to be safe.” She gets up on her tiptoes kissing your cheek. And then the other one.

You are a blushing mess at this point.

“And who can forget……”

Her lips meet yours in a sweet kiss.

You can’t help but smile.

“You know I really love you right?”

You say, pulling away just enough to look into her eyes. You want her to know you mean it.

She nods. Putting her forehead to yours.

“I love you too my little trinket.”

[staylovesmiley]

Give Me Your TMI ~ Chapter 1

₊˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Yang Jeongin x Fem!reader, Stray kids x Fem!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; In a world where Humans and Hybrids should be living as equals, Hybrids are still viewed as being closer to their animalistic side than their humanistic. Deep in the woods lives a band of misfit hybrids who reject these societal views and keep to themselves, choosing to live away from humans. What happens when the youngest of this rogue group meets a lost Human girl, befriending her after an incident where he must rely on her for help?

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; hybrid!au, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, mentions of starvation (not purposeful but due to lack of food), she/her pronouns used for reader, this is very loosely based off the overall themes/tones of the manga and anime fruits basket~

The afternoon sunlight shown through the trees, the late summer breeze blowing gently through his fur as Jeongin rushed through the dense wooded area after the scent of an intruder in their territory. He first caught a wiff of the human wandering in their forest while doing his routine patrol of the area, ears standing up straight as he listened for any noise to indicate where they may be. Once he locked onto the scent better he took off immediately, not giving a second thought to go back and alert the others before jumping into action.

After running for what felt like forever he finally caught up to the source of the foreign smell. Through the trees the fox hybrid could see a girl, looking far too out of place in the large wooded area in a light blue sundress and white socks with lace trim peeking above the tops of her sneakers. Jeongin eyed her curiously from afar, watching as she stumbled her way over fallen branches and briar bushes. She looked hopelessly lost and when she finally turned so that he was able to see her face he could make out the faint traces of tears reflected in the sunlight.

Pretty, he thought, smiling to himself in his head as he continued to watch her struggle for a moment before shaking himself out of his thoughts and making his presence known by stepping out into her view. The poor girl jumped back at the sight of him before freezing completely, eyes wide with fear as she locked eyes with the seemingly normal fox in front of her. “Shit- oh god what do I do? Do I back away slowly or make myself look big and loud?” She wondered aloud, causing the fox to chirp with amusement. Silly girl, that’s for a bear, he thought to himself before stepping forward and letting out a small trill from the back of his throat. “O-Okay, fuck- do I run? Oh god…please don’t hurt me-“ She whimpered, taking a hesitant step backwards. Taking pity on the pretty girl Jeongin nodded his head towards the left, slowly turning to face that direction before looking behind him to see if she understood what he wanted of her.

Cautiously, she tilted her head before speaking up. “Do you want me to follow you?” She asked causing the fox to let out another chirp and turn back to begin walking in the direction he wanted her to go. Silently she followed, trying to both watch her footing to not trip while also keeping an eye on him so she didn’t lose him. Eventually Jeongin came to a stop at the end of the tree line, and if she hadn’t looked back up in time she may have bumped into his tail not having realized just how close she had gotten to the beautiful creature. “Oh- sorry…where did you…” Before she could finish her question, the hybrid dashed off further into the trees leaving her standing all alone at the edge of the forest. “Huh?” She turned back to where the fox had been just moments before and saw that he had lead her to a long dirt road. She wasn’t sure where it lead, but she was thankful to be in some sort of clearing as it would be much easier to traverse than the dense woods she had been lost in. “Thank you Mr. Fox!” She shouted back into the trees before stepping out onto the road and beginning to maker her way to wherever it would lead.

At her thanks, Jeongin felt pride swell in his chest and with a little nod in her direction, though she wouldn’t be able to see him, he began making his way back home.

Once back at the cabin, Jeongin shifted into his human form, naked as the day he was born before picking up his clothes from where he left them before his patrol at the edge of the clearing that was their home. “Ayen! How did your patrol go?” Seungmin asked cheerfully as he made his way towards the other hybrid from where he had been working in the garden. His velvety brown ears flopped lightly as he jogged up towards the younger, tail wagging lightly behind him until he got close enough to smell the scent of a human on him. “Jeongin? Why do you smell like a human?” He questioned, fear evident in his face as he looked over the fox hybrid carefully for any injuries.

“Hyung it’s nothing, I’m alright. But there was a girl in our woods.” He said the last bit cautiously, though he was attempting for a nonchalant tone. “A girl?!” The beagle hybrid screeched, eyes going wide. “Yeah, a girl. She was lost or something- not a threat. I lead her back to the road.” Seungmin shook his head, arms crossing over his chest. “How do you know she’s not a threat? What was she even doing all the way out here? We are like- miles and miles away from the nearest town and there are no other houses in the area for her to be able to walk all the way here to get lost in the first place.”

The fox scoffed, pushing past the older hybrid on his way towards the house once fully dressed. “Calm down, hyung. Trust me she was more scared of me. Thought I was a regular old fox, we’re fine.” The puppy didn’t back down, though his tone shifted as a smirk broke out on his face. “She was cute, wasn’t she.” Jeongin froze mid step, not daring to look behind him or else his face would give it away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The older laughed, walking towards the younger slowly at first. “I don’t hear you denying it.” And with that the beagle took off in a sprint towards the cabin. “GUYS! INNIE HAS A GIIIRRLLLFRIEND!!!” He shouted, letting out a bark to alert the others.

With eyes gone wide, the younger hybrid took off after him towards the house. “Seungmin stop! It’s not- I was just getting her out of our woods!!” He cursed under his breath as he finally reached the front steps of the porch where Seungmin was now standing beside a very disappointed looking wolf hybrid.

Chan stood with arms crossed over his chest, large black ears standing tall at the top of his head and tail flicking with his displeasure. “Jeongin, care to explain?” Seungmin wore a triumphant smirk, chest puffed up as he looked at the younger from his place beside the oldest. “I- when I was doing my patrol I smelled a human, so I went to see where it was coming from…” Chan frowned, raising an eyebrow at the youngest member of their little family. “Without telling any of us first?” The fox pouted, looking away as he felt the piercing gaze of the older hybrid to be too much to look at directly. “I got ahead of myself, I know…I’m sorry. But she’s gone now!” “She?”

Jeongin gulped, throat feeling a bit tight at being put in the hot seat like this. “It was just some girl, she was clearly lost. She wasn’t even dressed like she was ready to be in the woods and she had- she was crying-“ he tried to defend his actions, hands balled into fists at his sides. “You risked getting caught, getting us all caught, because a girl was crying?” Chan huffed and Seungmin rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t just leave her there! What if she got too close and found the house? Found all of us?” The younger pleaded, finally looking up to meet his eyes. “I stayed in my fox form the whole time- she didn’t even know I was a hybrid. She probably thought I was gonna eat her or something…but she’s gone, I lead her back to the road so she can go home.”

Chan stood in silence for a moment, watching the youngest carefully before nodding his head. “Alright, I’ll let it slide this time. But if this ever happens again you tell us immediately. Got it?” Jeongin nodded, his fluffy red tail swaying slowly and his ears pressed flat to his head sorrowfully. “Yes, hyung…”

It had been two weeks since the first time he saw her, doing his normal patrol of their territory. The pretty girl in the blue dress had become a distant memory in the back of his mind as he hadn’t seen or smelled any trace of her since. As he walked around the forest he began to notice something different, little strips of what looked to be fabric and ribbon tied to trees roughly every ten to fifteen feet.

Jeongin was in his fox form, as he always was during patrol, so the markers were a few feet high from his head. As he was inspecting the fabric his ears twitched at the sound of a twig snapping not too far away and that familiar scent was nearby. She was back. The hybrid followed the scent until he caught sight of her, this time dressed in a pair of tan shorts that stopped a little higher than her mid thigh and a light pink top with little daisies embroidered all over it. He stood and admired her from a far for a moment, watching as she tied a small ribbon around the thinner trunk of a pine tree before beginning to move onward. So that was who was behind the strange markers, what was she doing? He wondered to himself before following after her with a little chirp to get her attention.

The girl startled, hand held to her chest when she turned to see it was just him. “Oh, Mr. fox it’s just you-“ a giggle left her lips and Jeongin thought briefly that it was one of the most lovely sounds he had ever heard before shifting his attention to the question of why she was back in their forest. Assuming she was lost again, the fox nodded once again for her to follow him and seemingly without question she did just that. As the two walked, the girl began to speak softly. He wasn’t sure if she was just speaking to herself at first until she addressed him directly. “What do you think, Mr. fox?” Shit, he hadn’t been paying attention to her words. Jeongin nodded regardless, not like he could give anything more of a response in this form anyways so she didn’t need to know he hadn’t been listening. The smile that small gesture brought to her face caused the hybrid to falter a bit in his step and almost trip over his front paws.

Once he had lead her back to the edge of the forest where the same dirt road was from the last time he had seen her, the fox this time stayed there to watch and make sure she left.

He wasn’t sure why she was there, how she got there, of why she was tying things to the trees, but he didn’t want her to get caught by any of the others who most likely wouldn’t be as kind to her as he was. As he stood waiting for her to leave, she suddenly crouched down to his level and began reaching out her hand towards him.

Panic set in and his fur stood on end. Just before she could make contact with his fur the fox pounced, knocking the girl onto her back on the forest floor. Jeongin growled, teeth bared at her and his ears flat to his head as he stood on her torso to keep her down.

As soon as he had growled the girl let out a scream, tears flowing from her eyes as she began to sob. “P-Please don’t hurt me-“ she begged, though to her this was just some normal fox who couldn’t understand her cries. Luckily for her this was no normal fox, and the sight of her tears caused the hybrid to freeze up before quickly pulling away and darting through the woods.

He couldn’t believe himself, almost hurting her like that. She wasn’t a threat, or at least it didn’t seem like it. At the feeling of hatred towards such an animalistic act he felt himself shifting into his human form while the echoing of her cries could still be heard for a moment until he finally broke through into the clearing. Thankfully no one was around to see him as he fell to the ground as sobs of his own slipped out though he tried to fight them, his heart racing and his stomach turning causing him to feel ill. Lashing out like that at just the proximity, he was only proving the humans right that hybrids were no better than any regular animal. Animalistic, wild, feral- words he had been called before echoed in his mind causing him to scream to try and drown them out.

Jeongin hadn’t realized he was screaming until his throat began to feel sore and Hyunjin was running from the house with Felix and Changbin close behind. The ferret hybrid’s strong arms wrapped around him, pulling their youngest to his chest as he began rocking him carefully. “Innie, baby it’s okay. You’re safe.” Hyunjin spoke softly, nuzzling his cheek into the fox hybrid’s hair causing his ears to twitch and flatten to his head as he slowly calmed down. “What happened, ayen?” Changbin asked from over the ferret’s shoulder.

“The- the girl…she was in the woods again-“ the three older hybrid’s eyes went wide but before they could say anything Jeongin continued.

“I know Chan hyung said to tell him if I saw her again or the next time a human was in the forest but- but I don’t know-“ he was still trying to catch his breath, still clinging to the older hybrid who held him close. “I don’t think she’s a threat- she’s so…odd- but she tried to pet me and I almost attacked her.” He began crying again without realizing it, much softer this time. “I’m no better than the animal they said I was-“ he said softly, hiding his face in Hyunjin’s shoulder as Felix came to wrap his arms around him from his other side. “Please don’t tell Chan hyung- I don’t want to upset him I didn’t mean to it just happened so fast and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t lost anymore. She seems a little clumsy-“

Felix cooed at the fox and pet his hair gently. “We won’t tell Chris, Innie…but please next time come get us. Even if you don’t think she’s a threat, we don’t want something like this to happen again.” The younger nodded, staying in their arms for a while longer before allowing the others to lead him inside and help him clean up where branches and briars had scratched his skin from running through the woods completely undressed after shifting.

While sitting in the bath, Felix kneeling beside him and helping clean the small wounds he had procured, Jeongin could see her face washed in fear in the back of his mind and couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of guilt that surrounded him and threatened to swallow him whole as he heard her cries clear as day still even now miles from where he left her laying on the forest floor. He hoped she was okay.

It had been another two weeks since he had almost attacked the lost girl in their woods and Jeongin had been hesitant to go alone on patrol ever since, always having one of his hyungs accompany him whenever he had to go out into the woods. After a while he began to relax, not having run into her in so long made him feel he had successfully scared her away from ever entering the woods again.

Feeling this new sense of peace, he finally felt like it was okay to go on patrols alone again and after a long day of running around the dense forest Jeongin felt as if he could use a drink. The fox hybrid made his way to the river not far from the cabin, the smell of the damp earth and the sound of running water letting him know he was almost there.

Just as he got to the tree line however, there she was deep in the water.

She was submerged up to her shoulders but from the bare skin he could see and the neatly folded stack of clothes sitting on a nearby rock, the hybrid could only assume the girl before him was naked beneath the slow roll of the rivers stream. His thoughts were confirmed as not long after he had arrived she slowly rose from the water and the late afternoon sunlight hit her glistening skin. If he was not in his fox form Jeongin’s jaw would have been dropped comically wide as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the soft curves of her body as she made her way back to the shore.

He had never seen a feminine body before, having been kept separate from the female hybrids at the center he was raised and never having had an owner let alone a female one. Her body fascinated him, but also lit a fire inside his chest that would have caused a bright blush to spread across his cheeks if he were not in his fox form.

As she made her way back to her clothes, the girl picked up a dark colored towel and began to dry her hair until she suddenly caught sight of where Jeongin was hiding in the tree line. “Mr. Fox?” She asked cautiously, though there was no fear in her tone or expression, only curiosity. As if to answer her, Jeongin slowly stepped forward from the trees and made himself known fully, sitting down by the rock where her clothes remained in the perfectly folded stack.

A soft smile spread across her lips before she resumed drying off her hair before moving to the rest of her body. “I’m sorry I scared you the other day.” She said after she set the towel back down on the rock, starting to get dressed carefully. She’s apologizing? For scaring him? The hybrid tilted his head curiously as he watched her, letting out a little whimpering sound as he tried to show his confusion. He was sure it should be him who was apologizing for scaring her. “I know you probably don’t see a lot of people all the way out here…I was just- you have been so sweet to me so I wanted to thank you some how.” She tried to explain, as if a wild fox could understand her words. Thats all he was to her, after all. There was no way she would know he was a hybrid and could understand everything she said to him, still she continued. “I never had any kind of pets but my- um…a friend of mine had a dog once and he always liked to be pet when he did good.” He let out a little chirp at the fact that she assumed a wild animal would accept the same affection a house pet would. Her hesitance in her choice of words caused Jeongin to wonder what it was she was originally going to say, but he would have to take whatever information she would give him as there was no way he could reveal his status as a hybrid to her.

Now fully dressed, the girl took a seat on the rock and looked off to the water. He took in her appearance again, how peaceful she looked before he noticed the twinge of sadness in her eyes. Before he was even processing his movements, Jeongin was climbing onto the rock beside her and laying down at her side. At the feeling of soft fur brushing against her bare thigh she startled a bit, relaxing when she looked down to see he was curled up peacefully at her side. “Mr. fox…c-could I?” She spoke softly, hesitantly lifting her hand though she kept it to herself until he gave indication that her touch was allowed.

Silently, the hybrid lifted his head until the palm of her hand was pressed lightly against the spot between his ears.

There it was again, that giggle that was music to his ears. As the girl began to pet him gently, giving a few scratches behind his ears, Jeongin felt himself melting into her side while content little whimpers escaping him occasionally. They sat like that as the sun began to set, but just before it dipped completely below the horizon she rose from her seat. “I better get back before it’s too dark. Thank you for coming to see me again, Mr. fox.” With that she bid him farewell and left Jeongin sitting against the rock with his brain a little hazy from the affection he had received. Once she was gone from sight he realized he probably reeked of her scent and his hyungs would know he had seen her again. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Felix had kept to their word and hadn’t told Chan about the last time but after the way her soft hand had carded through his fur for what felt like hours there would be no way to hide it from him or the others. The would know the second he stepped into the clearing.

In an attempt to cleanse himself of any trace of her, Jeongin looked around to be sure she was really gone before shifting and taking a dip into the river. Fully submerging himself, the hybrid swam around for a while to make sure there would be no way to smell the lost girl’s scent on him when he returned home.

Fortunately for him this had worked and the only questions he received once back in the cabin was as to why he was soaking wet. He made up a simple lie that he had gotten too hot while on patrol and went for a swim, effectively getting his hyungs off his back for the most part though Changbin had chastised him that it was getting too close to autumn and he could catch a cold if not careful.

The youngest apologized for not thinking of his health, promising not to do it again as he went to take a proper bath just to scrub his skin raw with every scented product in the bathroom and make extra sure that there was no way they would ever find out about his latest encounter with his new secret friend.

Two weeks since the meeting at the river, Jeongin made it a habit of running into the pretty girl. She never introduced herself, or talked about why she was always in their forest, but she would tell him stories from a book she started bringing to the river where they started meeting at the end of every day just before the sun would set. The hybrid would rest his head on her thigh to soak up the warmth there and she carded her fingers through his fur as she read aloud to him.

Jeongin always made sure to take a dip in the water after she left, washing away her scent to keep their meetings secret from his hyungs who undoubtedly would not approve of his new friendship with a human.

It was a normal day on patrol for the fox hybrid, keeping watch of their beloved forest. He felt the slowly chilling early autumn breeze brush around his fur as he walked leisurely through the trees, thinking of what stories he may get to hear from the pretty girl later that afternoon when suddenly a sharp pain shot through his left leg and the loud sound of metal clinking together rang in his ears.

In his distracted state of mind the hybrid had completely missed the bear trap in his path, stepping right on it causing the metal teeth to pierce his flesh and blood to slowly begin trickling down to his paw and the dirt and leave covered ground.

Jeongin was too far from the cabin, and the older hybrids that were on patrol were in areas of the forest too far to hear his cries for help. Those who had chores at the cabin did not have as good of hearing as he, Chan, and Seungmin. He was truly and helpless fucked. The pain was searing and he felt like he could faint but he forced himself to stay together and let out a loud howl hoping that someone would hear him and come to his rescue.

Fortunately for the hybrid, his human friend happened to be walking near by when she began to hear the sound of not too distant fox cries. “That can’t be-“ she whispered to herself, turning in the direction of the sound before she heard it again. The sound was strangled, desperate, and it caused her nerves to stand on edge before she took off running in the same direction. Low hanging branches and thorns tore at her skin with the speed she was running to get to her precious Mr. fox, as she so affectionately called the hybrid. Once she spotted the sight of his orange fur she began to relax, until she noticed the state he was in and her panic kicked into overdrive.

As soon as she was by his side the girl dropped to her knees, hands hovering over the trap with hesitation. “Oh- oh this is bad-“ She mumbled to herself, trying to see how to release Jeongin from the trap. “O-Okay…I’m gonna try and pry it open, then you pull your leg out okay?” She explained, voice shaking though she tried to stay calm. The hybrid nodded to her, braving himself to move quickly once she got the trap open. The girl took a deep breath, holding it as she placed both hands on each side of the trap and began pulling them apart with all of her strength.

As soon as he felt the metal teeth leave his flesh the hybrid pulled his leg free and let himself fall to the forest floor with a whine. The girl let go of the trap once she saw he was free, pulling her hands back quickly as to not get stuck herself. “Okay okay- uh- shit this is bad, you’re bleeding a lot-“ rambling once more, she began looking around the forest then back to the fox laying before her. Before she could overthink things, her arms were wrapping around the fox and cradling him against her chest as she stood and began running back through the woods the way she came. Jeongin felt himself going in and out of consciousness as he used the pretty human girl’s scent to ground himself in reality as best he could.

After a while the pair came to a clearing, much smaller than the one where the cabin was, with a simple camping set up. There was a small tent, only big enough for maybe two people, a small ring of rocks where ashes remained from what he assumed was a fire probably the night before, two folding chairs, and a few plastic bins stacked neatly beside the tent. Jeongin took in the small space curiously, trying to distract himself from the pain as she laid his nearly limp body in one of the chairs before digging around in the bins for something. “I know there is a first aid kit in here somewhere-“ she huffed out, still out of breath from how fast she had run to get them there before he bled out anymore. “Ahah!” She shouted triumphantly, producing a roll of bandages. Quickly, she retuned to his side and began using a small bottle of water to clean his wounds before bandaging them tightly.

She looked rough, now that he could see her fully and give her his full attention, he could see that her hair was falling out of the braid she had pulled it back into and there was tiny cuts and scrapes littering her exposed skin. Her clothing was stained with dirt and his own blood from where she had carried him there. “Alright, all patched up.” She said with a soft smile effectively warming his insides with the gesture. The hybrid looked down at her handwork and smiled in his head. She did a pretty good job for someone who seemed to be clueless most of the time. “Let’s get you back, yeah? I’m sure you’ll wanna go back to your den and get some rest after this…wait- do foxes live in dens or caves?” There was his clueless girl. Jeongin wished he could talk to her, tell her all the things he had to keep to himself in his fox form, properly introduce himself to her so she didn’t have to always call him Mr. fox…In his head he let out a sigh, resting his head on his uninjured right leg before he was suddenly scooped back up into her arms.

The young hybrid chirped, a small purring sound erupting from his chest and she held him snuggly against her soft chest. “I’m gonna bring you back as far as I can remember seeing you, okay? I think your home should be nearby. Think you can get there on your own after that?” Jeongin nodded a bit, though he worried she may try to follow him to make sure he was okay and end up finding the cabin…and the others finding her. After a long walk through the densely wooded area, the girl set him down and gave a soft kiss to the top of his head. Oh- she had never done that before. “Get home safely, please…and come see me when you are better so I don’t worry too much.” She said with a slight teasing lilt in her voice. Jeongin gave her a nod before turning and limping his way back to the clearing.

Once he was past the tree line he looked back to make sure she hadn’t followed, shifting back into his human form and letting out an almost blood curdling scream as the bandages she had placed on his much smaller fox leg now ripped apart and fell to the soft grass of the clearing. At the sound of his scream Minho and Jisung were racing out of the cabin and to his side. Upon seeing his injuries Jisung gasped and a hand shot to cover his mouth while Minho jumped into action much like the girl had, though his movements were much more confident whereas hers were more hesitant. “What happened to you??” Jisung questioned from over the cat hybrid’s shoulder. “Bear trap- at least now it’s been trigged this won’t happen again.” He tried to joke, laughing pathetically at the attempt as Minho scooped him up in his arms and began carrying him back to the cabin while Jisung brought his clothes.

The sight that greeted Chan and Seungmin when the both arrived home from their own patrols was their youngest laid out on their kitchen table, still shirtless though he was dressed from the waist down, pain etched into his face as Minho worked carefully to stitch up the nasty gashes on his arm. Felix assisted the older, wiping away any blood that blocked his path with a warm wet cloth as Han, Hyunjin, and Changbin waited anxiously from the other side of the kitchen as to still show support but not catch a glimpse of the somewhat gory scene. “What the hell happened.” Chan said, the oldest at Jeongin’s free side in an instant while Seungmin was quick to join Felix in helping keep things as sterile as possible.

“Hyung i-it’s fine-“ Jeongin spoke through gritted teeth, wincing as the cat hybrid laid yet another stitch. “It sure as hell doesn’t look fine.” His disapproving frown was so evident in his voice that the younger hybrid didn’t even need to look up to see it. “Chris- can we talk about it after he’s all patched up?” Felix pleading voice called out to the wolf hybrid causing him to sigh and nod in agreement. “Alright, yeah. Later, though. I want a full explanation, no excuses.” With that the oldest went off to clean up and try and distract himself from the youngest’s painful whimpers.

Once Jeongin was successfully stitched back together and bandaged properly to fit his human form, he was sat on the couch in front of a very disappointed wolf hybrid who’s arms were crossed firmly over his broad chest. Hyunjin was glued to the younger’s side, nuzzling up next to him for comfort as the fox in question had his gaze downturned to his lap. “So you were continuing to see this human after i specifically told you not to, and to get us if you ever saw her again?” Chan’s voice was stern, eye brow raising to show he expected an answer after Jeongin had finished telling them the story of his secret friend, how he had come to be injured, and how she had saved him and attempted to treat his wounds. “I’m sorry hyung….she just- she’s different, I just know. I can feel it.” The older scoffed, looking to the side before turning back to the younger. “You only say that now. How do you know she doesn’t just want something from you, hm?” His skepticism and distrust for humans caused Jeongin to frown himself. He knew very well why the head of their little family had so much distain for humankind, and he didn’t blame him for harboring such a bias against them. The fix himself had a very tainted past at the hands of many humans at the facility he was raised, it’s why he had to escape.

“She’s probably trying to gain your trust now so she can use it against you later.” The fox hybrids ears twitched atop his head as he allowed the older to scold him for his actions and his carelessness. “But she wouldn’t-“ he started to say, feeling a deep seated need to defend his friend. “I don’t want you going out on patrol from now on. Hyunjin will take your place.” Chan said finally, cutting off the younger hybrid whose head snapped up at the order. “You can’t- that’s so unfair! Channie hyung she saved my life-“ A low growl echoed through the room effectively silencing the fox, though he glared up at the older hybrid defiantly. “You showed me that you cannot listen to orders, Ayen. I don’t give orders for the hell of it, I do it to protect you. All of you. If you can’t listen then you are putting yourself and all of us at risk.”

Jeongin let out a whimper, choosing to burying his face in the nape of Hyunjin’s neck and let out a choked sob in lieu of an answer. The ferret hybrid held him close, rubbing his back in soothing circles as he gave Chan a look. The wolf shook his head dismissively before heading towards his room at the back of the cabin. Felix chased after him, a look of pity in his soft brown eyes. “You could have gone easier on him, Chris…I get that he didn’t listen but she hasn’t given him any reason not to trust her this far-“ Chan let out another growl causing the cat hybrid to take a step back from him. “Drop it, Lix. I’ve made up my mind. If any of you see that human around you let me know, I will take care of it.” There was an edge to his tone that made the hair stand up at the back of his neck, the younger hybrid only nodding in under before heading back to help comfort their youngest.

It had been so long since he had seen her last, the fox hybrid found it hard to believe it had been only eight weeks since he first discovered the human girl lost in their woods. Jeongin spent his time not on patrol taking over Hyunjin’s chores at the cabin. His days consisted of laundry and tending to the garden with his hyungs that were not out in the forest. One day, while alone in the garden, the youngest looked up at the sky to see storm clouds slowly rolling in. Changbin came out from the house to shout out to the fox. “Ayen-ah! Make sure to bring the laundry in before it starts to rain!” The bunny hybrid gave him a soft smile, all of them knowing the transition to his new daily tasks had been difficult for the youngest. Jeongin called out to his hyung as he made his way from the garden over to the clothes line. “You got it, Binnie-hyung!”

As he was bringing the now folded laundry inside, neatly placed in the large wicker basket, his ears and nose began to twitch and his tail stiffened as a sense of unease fell over him. Something was wrong, very wrong.

Carefully, Jeongin sat the basket on the porch away from where any rain could get to it as a light drizzle began to fall from the sky. Trying to be as quiet as possible, the fox backed away towards the tree line before taking off in a sprint.

He wasn’t sure what it was but he had this sinking feeling that she was not okay. Once he was deeper in the woods and was sure his hyungs that were on patrol would be closer to the cabin and there was less of a risk of him being caught disobeying his oldest hyung’s orders he slowed to a walk, eyes carefully scanning the trees as the sickening feeling got worse. This was the first time he had been in the forest in this form, having to get used to the difference in height and view.

The closer he got to where her small camp was, the more wrong everything felt.

Looking up at the sky his stomach sank further at the sight of vultures circling. Breaking out into a frantic run he was quickly thrust into the small clearing where the human girl’s camp was.

It was raining heavily now, and just outside the opening to the small tent laid her limp body on the ground. His feet were moving before he could even process, falling to his knees as he examined what could have caused her to be in this state.

Jeongin let out a little gasp at her appearance. She looked sickly, skin paler than normal and her body was visibly smaller than when he had seen her last. As he thought back briefly to all the times he had seen her he realized that over time she had been loosing weight gradually with every visit. How could he have been so blind? Why didn’t she have any food? He didn’t have time to think about that right now.

The fox hybrid gently touched her frigid skin and felt for a pulse, it was weak but there and he scooped her body into his arms carefully. Fuck he must be insane for what he was about to do, but he couldn’t leave her there to die. Not after she had saved him.

With the girl securely in his hold Jeongin stood up and took off for the cabin, her head cradled against his shoulder as he tried not to jostle her too much as he ran to get back before it was too late.

A soft groan left her lips and with it he felt a glimmer of hope, she wasn’t too far gone.

Rain was blurring his vision, his hair flatting to his head flinging drops of water as he sprinted through the forest, weaving and winding to avoid colliding with any trees or branches as he made his way back to the clearing for help.

Time was completely elusive to the young hybrid as he stumbled up the steps to the front porch of the cabin after what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, almost tripping over the basket he had left there early.

At the sound of his steps on the wood floor of the porch his hyungs came rushing out the door to greet him. “Jeongin where have you been?! We’ve been worried sick, you just disap-“ Han’s words were cut off as he saw the girl clutched tightly to the youngest’s chest. “Oh my god is that-“ Felix pushed past the chipmunk hybrid to see what he was talking about and a gasp left him as he saw her. “You brought her here?!? Ayen if Chan sees you he’s gonna-“ “I’m gonna what?”

Chan moved around the pair of younger hybrids to see what Jeongin had that was causing such a stir. When his eyes landed on her limp body held by the fox and the desperation in his eyes the wolf growled lightly. “What the hell are you doing bringing a human here.” It wasn’t a real question, simply a statement to show his distaste for the youngest’s actions. “Hyung please- she’s starved! I-I found her laying outside and-and there were vultures and I think she’s going to die-“ Jeongin pleaded, stepping closer to the oldest. “That isn’t our problem. She shouldn’t be out here unprepared if she didn’t want to starve to death.”

The wolf hybrid stood his ground, his face void of expression as he looked at the younger with indifference. Jeongin stared in shock, his oldest hyung was usually so caring and gentle. He had his moments of sternness, as any good leader did, but it was only from the deep need to protect and take care of their family. Hearing such harsh words for another living being from his most trusted hyung caused his heart to ache. “Channie-hyung please- I have to save her. I owe her.”

At the sound of the commotion the rest of the hybrids came out to see Jeongin pleading with the wolf, his grip on the human in his arms tightening and tears welling in his eyes. Minho was the first to step forward, moving between the two canines. “Give her to me, kit.” He spoke softly, reaching for the girl causing Jeongin to flinch back and hold her more protectively. “Calm down, I’m not going to hurt her. We can’t keep standing out in the cold or her condition will worsen.”

The youngest eyed him cautiously before slowly and carefully passing the girl into the older’s arms.

“Minho what are you doing.” Chan spoke sternly, eyebrow raising at the cat as he began heading for the front door. “Hyung I know you have a bad past with humans, and you are valid to be cautious of them, but this girl is in no state to pose any threat to us.” He ignored the growling coming from the wolf as he moved inside carefully and headed for the fox hybrid’s room. “Ayen is right, we can’t let her die.” Jeongin followed wordlessly, walking past his hyungs to follow Minho to his room.

“She’s staying with you, though I doubt you’d complain.” He teased lightly, laying her on the bed before starting to remove her clothes.

“What are you-“ Jeongin stared wide eyed as his hyung stripped her to nothing on his bed. Seeing her naked form caused his stomach to turn as he could see just how frail her frame had become in comparison to the time he had seen her bathing in the river. “Go and get me all the blankets and towels you can, throw them in the dryer then bring them here. We need to bring up her core temperature, she’s already hypothermic and before we can think about feeding her we need her temperature back up.”

Nodding, the fox hybrid rushed to get the things requested by his hyung. In some weird show of possession he made sure to grab blankets and towels that held his scent the most, even rubbing against them before tossing them into the dryer before heading back to his room to see what he could do in the meantime.

He saw Han and Felix were at Minho’s side, talking in low voices about the next corse of action. “The stuff you asked for is in the dryer, what else can I do Hyung?” Jeongin’s voice was eager as he made his way to the edge of the bed, taking her cold hand in his much warmer one. “Well kit, we were just talking about that…while we wait for the stuff in the dryer we still need to keep her warm.” She was now laying under the quilt on his bed, her body still shivering lightly as Minho continued. “Body heat is most ideal…” a flash of jealousy and that possession from earlier came back as he spoke up immediately. “I’ll do it.” Minho smirked and nodded to the youngest. “Okay, so you will need to take off your clothes and hold her to you.”

Han and Felix giggled as the fox hybrid flushed visibly at the realization of what he had just volunteered to do. Still, he didn’t regret his words. He would much rather it be himself than one of the others being with you like this. He quickly began taking off his clothes, causing the others to snicker. “No need to be so eager, kit.” Han teased, poking his cheek as he went to check the dryer with Felix in tow. “Shut up-“ once he was fully bare he carefully lifted the edge of the quilt and slipped into the bed next to her.

“I’m gonna go and make something for her to eat once we warm her up. When Felix and Han get back, wrap her in the towels first then the blankets.” Jeongin nodded, listening to the cat hybrid’s words though his attention was on the girl laying next to him. “You did good getting her here, don’t mind Chan-hyung he will come around to realize how harsh he was being eventually.”

Once Minho had left the room, it was just the fox and the human girl. His pretty girl. Finally being with her in this form, he felt he could fully take in her beauty. The hybrid wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her flush against him so the natural warmth of his body could radiate onto hers. “Hi- um…I know you probably can’t hear me right now…but I figured uh..since we are like this I should introduce myself-“ his nerves caused him to stutter, his face mere inches from her own causing his hot breath to fan over her face gently, the girl in his arms letting out another small groan. “I’m Jeongin, um- Mr. fox is a cute nickname but- my name is Jeongin. God you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you that-“

He laid like that for what felt like an eternity, taking in her features so closely as he attempted to warm her up. Slowly he felt the chill on her skin leaving as Han and Felix came back with the stuff from the dryer. The youngest moved back the quilt so they could get to work wrapping her in the warm fabric, and at the sight of her nude form Han began to blush as he attempted to advert his eyes. Just like Jeongin, the chipmunk had never seen a female before. “Minho-hyung said to start with the towels-“ Jeongin removed himself from her side, sitting up on his knees to help them wrap her up.

After she was safely cocooned in warm towels and blankets. Jeongin redressed as Minho brought in a bowl of broth. “Is that gonna be enough? She looks like she hasn’t eaten in weeks-“ Jeongin eyed the broth skeptically as Minho sat on the edge of the bed and gently tapped at the girl’s cheek. “Come on, sleeping beauty. Gotta get some food in you so you get get better.” A whimper left her lips, but her mouth opened enough for him to feed her a spoonful. “Broth is enough for now. She can’t exactly chew in this state and we don’t wanna put anything too heavy in her stomach or she won’t be able to keep it down.”

Slowly the cat hybrid fed her, watching as the warmth from the blankets brought color back to her skin. Minho smiled softly, brushing the hair back from her face gently as she finished the bowl he had brought her. “There. I’ll feed her some more later. We’ll keep this up until she’s awaken then we’ll move to adding veggies in it if she thinks she can keep it down” with that the older left to wash the empty bowl and give the youngest some space with her.

Jeongin sat back on the edge of the bed, his fingers carding through her hair gently as she used to do with his fur when they would meet at the river. She stirred lightly, eyelids fluttering a bit but they never opened. “J-Jeongin?” She spoke softly and his heart clenched. “I’m right here- I’m here, pretty.”

A soft smile reached her lips and her body seemed to relax as she drifted back to sleep once more. She must have heard him earlier, she said his name! He never thought his name sounded lovelier than coming from her lips. Jeongin let go of her hand and shifted back into his fox form, curling up beside of her on the bed and letting himself rest as well. It had been a long day and his exhaustion was finally catching up with him now that he knew she was safe. The last thought he had before drifting off was that he never wanted to let her out of his sight again, his pretty human girl.

author’s note; aaahh my first ever hybrid fic! I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it~~ big thanks to @chancloud8 for cheering me on and helping me whenever I hit a bump in the road and needed advice! Looking forward to continuing this story (though don’t worry I’m still working on my other series as well~) as usual lmk if you would like to be added to the taglist for this series~~ ᕱᕱ₊˚⊹♡

taglist; @coastinglove @estella-novella @chancloud8 @skzswife @motheraiya55 @zofia515 @skybluelixie

[teliphone]

Love like a Fool

Summary: I shouldn’t known from the moment my heart felt more for Caitlyn, that it was a mistake. I thought love was supposed to be about taking risks and loving like a fool. I don’t want to regret anything, but I have to limit myself because she feels uneasy. Is it because of me? I must be lacking in many ways. I promised myself to get better. I need to prove to others that I can.  

Warning: Slight fluff then pure angst 

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman X Fem Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

-

The target moves back and forth in quick and uneven motion as a way to stimulate the movement of humans. I place the sniper rifle closer to my body. The cold metal pressed against my chest. I narrow my eyes at the target watching it jerk back and forth. I place my finger against the trigger as I start to steady my breathing. My heart rate begins to slow. The breeze in the air seems to be silent for a moment. My eyes quickly shift to focus on one target as it starts rolling toward the center of the scope. A loud bang comes from my gun as I press the trigger. The smell of gun smoke reaches my nose as the smoke rises from the nozzle. I lower the gun and tilt my body to examine the shot. A hole is evident on the target, but not where I was trying to aim. The bullet was several inches below the head of the target. I frown and feel disappointment arising from within. 

I want to be better and prove to others that I can take on tougher tasks. I’ve been assigned as an enforcer, stuck with the simple role of Piltover's council gatekeeper. I want to be part of the bigger action, specifically, to be part of Caitlyn’s team. 

I know I am capable, or at least… I hope I am. 

News spread that Caitlyn Kiramman has become a Sheriff and I couldn’t agree more. She is amazing at her job. I’ve secretly studied her in admiration. I saw her in action. She is stern and confident, but at the same time so graceful. She balances fear and love so well. Her facade never falls to others, but I sense there’s a softness in her gaze when she notices me. It’s a quick and small look, so I can’t put a finger on it. All I can do in response is smile back while feeling my cheeks heat up. 

“Practicing again?” A voice snaps me out of daydreaming. A recognizable British accent. Refined and poised. I turn my head to see Caitlyn standing with her arms crossed. I widen my eyes before saluting her. She has a soft grinning smirk on her lips. Her beautiful long blue hair falls over her shoulders. She’s in her work uniform, seemingly that she just finished a task. 

“Yes,” I quickly respond to her question. She chuckles shortly and walks over, eyeing the target. She stops next to me, a little closer than I expected and I feel my heart rate increase. My eyes quickly flicker at the curves of her body then back down the ground in respect. 

“You practice quite a lot,” She notes. This isn’t the first time I’ve bumped into her at the practice shooting area. It’s actually quite often. Caitlyn is strict with her studies and skills. She needs to do things perfectly right. It is not strange to find her at the shooting range after work hours. She has gotten used to seeing me there as well. She never said it, but I believe she likes how I’m willing to get better. She notices how other enforcers don’t practice as much.

I shyly run my hand on the back of my neck. Her eyes glance down to watch my reaction. I peek between my eyelashes and make eye contact with her. The closeness and eye contact make me unconsciously grip the gun. I quickly look back down to the ground. Examining the distance between our shoes. 

“I want to prove to others I can be good,” I finally admit. I didn’t want to reveal the part where I dream of being in her team. 

That would be too silly of a confession. 

She raises her eyebrows and pauses, deep in thought. The wind gently blows against my bare skin as silence coats the air. I feel anxiety increasing while she continues to stare at me, motionless and speechless. There’s a shift in her eyes, a shift that I don’t understand. 

Does she think I can’t be good? Is she too afraid to tell me the truth? 

Thoughts swirl in my head naturally. It’s a negative trait that I endure every day. My mind runs thousands of thoughts that can be entirely false. But I also believe certain voices are true, but I have yet to distinguish the two. I furrow my eyebrows and force myself to look away from her. I couldn’t bear to continue to theorize what her expression meant. I hear her shift her body to lean her body weight against the bullet-loading table. 

“I can help you,” She offers. I feel my heart stop pounding to make sure I didn’t hear her wrong. I jerk my head up with wide eyes. Caitlyn, the best sniper shooter, is going to help me. 

“Are you serious?” I hesitate. What did I do to deserve this special treatment from her? She simply nods and a few hair strands fall over her face. She smiles while brushing her bangs behind her ear. I am still speechless, not knowing what to do next. She figures and gently reaches for my gun. Her fingers curl around the handle, a few centimeters from my hand. She brings it up to my chest. I look at her in confusion yet again. 

“Show me how you aim,” She orders. I lick my lips and move quickly to action. I do not want to waste a single second of getting trained by her. I turn my body to the targets and lift the gun up. I lean my head down to look through the scope. Suddenly I feel Caitlyn move her body to locate behind me. Her fingers gently tilt the tip of the gun at a specific angle. Her other hand moves to my hip. Like a young girl in love, my heart pounds hard. I would also blame the fact that I am touched starved. Working as an enforcer limits the time I can spend romanticizing with others. People also avoid me. I am no one special, I like to believe. 

This is far from romantic. I know she doesn’t like me, but with her body heat pressing against me. I can’t help it. It’s quite embarrassing. 

“You should stand more straight,” She corrects. I shiver at the realization of how close her lips are to my ears. The distance sends chills down my body. No amount of daydreaming can make up for this moment. I shallow away my emotions and straighten my back. I feel myself press against her chest. 

“Slow down your heartbeat and breathing,” She chuckles. My cheeks start warming. 

“Sorry,” I squeak. She doesn’t respond, but instead continues to coach. She removes her hand from my hip and grips my shoulders. She reminds me to tighten my muscles and grip. Once she is satisfied with my position, she removes herself and stands back. I secretly let out a breath of relief. If she continued pressing her body against me, I wouldn't be able to perform accurately. That was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. 

“Now focus and calculate the timing,” She orders. I close my eyes to calm my breathing. When I feel my heartbeat going at a steady pace, I open my eyes. My sight completely focuses on the target. 

I need to get this right. I have to impress Caitlyn. 

My attention zooms into a specific target and I press into the trigger. Another loud bang echoes into the sky. I let out a shaky breath of anticipation. I immediately lower my gun to look at the target. I guess my hope was too high. The bullet hole was a few centimeters from the head. Better than before, but not perfect. 

Not perfect enough for Caitlyn. 

My shoulders slowly drop and I feel anxious thoughts creeping up again. I frown and look at her nervously. I don’t know what to expect. To my surprise, she seems sort of proud. 

“Good job,” She compliments. 

-

A couple of months of training have passed faster than I realize. I am surprised at how long she agreed to train me. No one else has gotten this special treatment. Even though there are times when she’s tired from a mission, she would still show up. As time went on it wasn't just training anymore. We would go out to eat dinner or a picnic on a sunny day. Not only have my skills increased, but my crush on her did as well. I spent too much time with her to not develop deeper feelings. I didn’t want to. I wanted things professional, just in case I ruined things. 

The more time we spent together, the more people talked about us. Baseless rumors begin to spread. I didn’t want to hear it, but people spoke loudly- as if I wasn’t there. They all picture me as someone who manipulated her way to Caitlyn. That I am nothing special. I have no rich or authoritative name for myself. No one knew who I was until I started involving myself with her. 

I thought these accusations would cause Caitlyn to stay away from me. She’s everything I’m not. After all, she has an image to keep. I do not want to stain it. 

But, she never stopped. 

Caitlyn started to teach me about combat. She wanted to enhance not only my shooting skills but my fighting as well.  

So here we are, standing on the mat with our fists up. I suck in a deep breath as sweat begins collecting on my neck. I feel a slight painful sore developing on my stomach from her punch that I failed to block. She gestures a finger at me to make the first move. I launch myself to her and she swiftly dodges and elbows my back. I grunt and stumble on my footing. I gather myself, not wanting to give up and turn to face her. Her eyes hint with glee when she notices a shift in my face. I clench my jaw and focus on her moves. Then I saw it. A small opening where I can tackle her. I rush forward, grabbing her arm. She lets out a gasp in surprise before I hurl her onto the ground. I quickly pin her onto the ground by locking my thighs around her wrist. 

I smiled brightly, my eyes sparkling. I finally did it. Her chest moves up and down quickly as she gets lost in my joy. She places her elbow onto the ground to support half her body up. I continued smiling, unaware of the plan she had in mind. 

She leans her head closer, testing the waters. Her lips linger over mine before she pulls back a little. Her heavy-lidded eyes gaze up. My smile begins to slowly drop in realization. I gulp and a blush appears on my cheeks. Her eyes flicker from my lips and back to my eyes. I hesitate, not knowing what to do, but I lean forward. Eager to capture her lips, but afraid to make the first move. She gently smiles, understanding my actions before closing the distance.

Her soft lips pressed against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fist.  She brings her hands up to touch my cheeks. Her thumbs draw a circle while her soft lips continue to move. I lean deeper into the kiss, wanting to permanently remember this moment forever. All my anxious thoughts seem to be silent just for a short moment. She is the first to pull away from the kiss. Leaning her forehead against mine. I place my hand over hers and smile. 

Caitlyn’s eyes suddenly become stern and she pulls her body away. My mind races in worry. I furrow my eyebrows while looking at her in confusion. 

“I’m sorry,” She apologizes. I shake my head slowly, trying to understand. 

Was the kiss a mistake? Did I do something wrong? 

“I…” I hesitate. I worry about my next words. I worried that she would push herself away if I said the wrong things. I wanted to confess my feelings, but I was afraid I would embarrass myself if she said it was a mistake. I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I feared she would think I didn’t feel anything. A part of me was so terrified that she did feel something for me, but the kiss awakened a realization in her. 

I never got the chance to gather my thoughts before she got up. I try to reach out and grab her wrist, but she hurries away. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll… see you sometime again,” She says before disappearing. I feel my eyes begin to water. My anxious thoughts may be right this time. As much as I try to think of a different conclusion, my negativity chokes up any other possible reasoning. 

-

Caitlyn avoided me. Every time she sees me walking by, she turns in the other direction. I try to force a smile. Understanding that she may be struggling with her thoughts. All I can do for her is to wait. I need to understand that I’m not enough for her. After several more days, I thought she had forgotten me. I went to my regular shooting range hoping to bump into her, but she never showed up. 

As I walk with my head down, I see a pair of shoes stop in front of me. I can immediately recognize her shoes. Caitlyn had blocked my walking pathway. I jerk back in surprise before examining her in confusion. Her eye circles are dark and her hair is messy. It seems like she has been lacking sleep. She licks her lips and plays with her fingers. I stand silent with a pounding heart, waiting for her to speak. She lets out a breath and I brace myself for the worst. 

“I’m sorry I avoided you,” She begins. I pause for a moment as her words sink. I summon my confidence by clenching my fist. My lips waver as I try to smile at her. I wasn’t actually happy, but I wanted to show her I appreciated her stepping up. I understand why she would want to avoid me. 

“It’s okay,” I answer, a little shaky for my liking. She glances around the hall as I assume she’s making sure no one else is around. A few people walk by, giving me an unexplainable stare. I tilt my head to the side to avoid people’s eyes. She then grabs my hand and tugs me along with her. I stumble on my footsteps to catch up with her. She pulls us into a dark room and slams the door. She breathes heavily, her chest moving up and down before turning to face me again. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. I can still see her figure with the small lamp in the corner. 

“I… I think I like you,” She confesses like the truth has been choking her to death. It's as if it’s a surprise that someone like her could be interested in someone like me. She stared at me with a scared expression like she didn’t fully understand herself. I feel my heart ache, but I force a smile again. 

She’s been struggling because of me. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but I realized I couldn’t say anything. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit. I shift my body weight uncomfortably. My hands come up to wrap themselves around me. A poor attempt to comfort myself. She pushes herself from the door and walks over to me. She hesitates a little, before reaching down to touch my hands. I stare at the way her fingers hold mine. She’s so gentle. 

“I want to try and love you,” She pauses, “but we have to do it in secret,” 

I tilt my head up to look at the sincerity in her eyes. I can tell she is worried. Wondering how people would view her if they found out she was meeting up with someone lowly like me. Debating if this reveal would hurt my feelings. It’s a little humorous that she doesn’t know the lengths I would go for her. 

I tightened my grip on her hands and tugged her a little closer. I examine the beauty that reflects off the orange light. She’s a beautiful woman worthy of respect and care. I remove one hand from her hold and place it on her cheeks. She leans into the touch, letting out a shaky breath. 

“I would do anything for you,��� I confess like a fool in love. Her eyes dilate and she lets out a sigh of relief. Her shoulders relax as she finally smiles.

-

I never thought how much more I could fall for Caitlyn. I love her. I didn’t care about the hidden touches behind doors. The secret messages we pass. It was our love that I couldn’t regret. We completely ignore each other when passing by in the halls. Oh, how I wish I could shout to the world about her. Rumors between her and I have successfully died out. 

I wait patiently in my room, waiting for the skies to become darker so that Caitlyn can sneak her way over. I hear quiet quick knocks on the door. I stumble my way over and swing the door open. She stands with a shy smile on her face. I quickly grab her wrist and tug her in, slamming the door behind me. 

I pull her into a hug, soaking in her warmth and scent. She hugs back with the same amount of eagerness. We stay silent for a few more seconds before I pull away.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen, “I can start preparing-“ 

She calls my name, cutting me off. I stop in my tracks to look at her. She seems hesitant again, her eyes wavering. A look that brings me back to the day we stood in the dark room. 

“I have to tell you something,” She explains. She starts walking to the coach and I follow along. I sit down, my knees brushing against hers. She reaches over to touch my hand with a stern look. 

“I got put on a very important case,” She says. I widen my eyes and smile. 

“Well, that’s great news right?” I chirp. She lets out a nervous laugh. Her gaze averts to the side for a brief second. My smile begins to drop slightly. 

“It is… but I have to be gone for a year,” She reveals.

“A year?” I repeat slowly. My grip starts to loosen from her hold. I shouldn’t be scared, but there is a part of me that worries. So much can happen in a year. 

“It’s a mission to go to the undercity and-“

I start to zone out. Undercity? That place is filled with horror stories. No sane person dares to step foot in there. At least that was how I was taught by others. I can’t imagine myself letting Caitlyn go down there. It’s just not safe. 

She squeezes my hands and I look back at her. My face is mixed with many emotions. I should not stop her from doing her job, but I don’t want her gone for a year in Undercity. What if she gets hurt and I can’t find her? How can I make a decision when I am unsure of myself? 

“Can you wait for me?” She whispers. 

The decision has already been made. 

I squeeze my eyes shut as I turn my head to the side. I didn’t want her to see me cry. She places her hands on my cheeks and slowly turns me to face her. I feel the warmth of her hands. 

“…when do you leave?” I sniff. 

“Tomorrow morning,” She responds. Time seems to pause for a moment. I wish it stayed like that; so that I could stay by her side longer. Tomorrow? This is so soon and sudden. I searched in Caitlyn’s eyes to find some type of hesitation, but there was nothing. I force myself to smile as my heart feels crushed. Nothing is going to stop her, not even my feelings. I understand that feelings alone can’t dictate her decision, but I wish it was considered just a little bit more. 

Did she really care about how I would feel? Did I not cross her mind when she accepted the mission? Do I matter that little? 

All the anxious thoughts blew away when Caitlyn pulled me in for a hug. How foolish am I to disregard my hurt so fast for her? Love makes a person a fool. 

-

Five months have passed since Caitlyn left to go to the Undercity. I have gotten used to the feeling of being alone. This feeling is rather normal and something I am more familiar with. I still keep my duties of guarding the gates of the council building. Days and days of people not sparing me a second glance as they walk by. I sometimes wonder if they would even notice if I didn’t show up one day. 

I keep the house clean. Making sure Caitlyn’s extra clothes are tucked neatly in my closet, ready for the day she comes back. When I lay in bed, I close my eyes and place my hand on the side where she usually lays. I imagine she is next to me. Humming and running her fingers through my hair. I smile for a moment, then frown when I realize I’m daydreaming again. It’s awfully cold without her touch. 

11 months have passed and I feel impatient for her return. The picture I keep on the desk lacks dust by how many times I’ve touched it. Running my fingers across her face to remind myself of how soft her skin feels. My heart squeezes when I examine the bright smile that the camera captures. I gently place the picture down and lean my head against the cold surface of the desk. 

Just a little more. I can wait, just like how she asked me to do. A simple task. I can do it. 

-

1 year and 1 month has passed. Anxiety eats away my skin as I scratch the surface with my nails. The councils ordered a one-month expansion, just in case Caitlyn had something important to do before they sent out a search for her. The enforcers are starting to become worried at the lack of her appearance. 

The councils issue a meeting to form a team of three of the best enforcers. I stand by the door with a racing heart, listening to the councils talk amongst themselves. They list off the best enforcers on documents. The back of my neck starts to feel hot. My feet feel the urge to step forward. I must go to find my love. I find myself walking forward recklessly.

“I apologize for my unprofessional behavior, but please allow me to join the team,” My voice clashes and silences the room. I glance around to see the confused look on their faces. They had no idea I was there. 

“And who are you?” One of the council's questions. They rub their fingers together with an amused smile. I bow down to show my respect. I tell them my name and title, with a shaky voice. There’s another pause again, til I hear someone snicker. That causes a domino effect where they all start to laugh. I bite my bottom lip as an embarrassing blush forms on my cheeks. My eyes water, tears forming at the edge. I turn my head down to stare at the floor. They question me and my motives:

“I never even noticed her there,”

“What can a gatekeeper do?”

“I admire how much courage that little girl has,”

“Why are you so concerned?” Mrs. Kiramman’s question sounds the clearest among the others. I tilt my head up to look at her. The truth feels like acid in my throat. Caitlyn had asked me to keep our relationship a secret. I must keep the promise. It’s not like it was hard to do so. I fully understand now why Caitlyn wanted it that way. They don’t take me seriously. I am just a laughing stock at this moment. I can’t dirty her name. 

I lick my trembling lips and shake my head. 

“I-I just want to-”

“I’m sorry dear, but we have an important discussion to do. The fate of my daughter relies on someone who can actually save her. Return to your position,” Mrs. Kiramman orders. I choke back my words. The little courage I have left vanishes. I quickly bow once more before walking back to my place. They return back to their conversation as normal, while I fight back tears. The uniform feels hot and stuffy against my skin. I feel unworthy of wearing the enforcer gear. 

The moon appears bright in the sky as I sneak my way down the streets. I tug my hoodie closer to hide my face as I make my way to the Undercity. I am going to search for Caitlyn on my own. 

The air starts to become more dense. I have never been here before. I can feel my anxious heart beating rapidly. A few strangers study me as I walk by. I grip my jacket closer to my body, avoiding their eyes. My footsteps quicken with one solid plan in mind. 

Find Caitlyn. 

I didn’t care how reckless I was being. Walking into the Undercity with no solid plan. I can’t even confidently say I can protect myself. Anything can happen to me before I can even find her. 

After walking for several minutes I realized how big this city is. I can’t just simply bump into her. I desperately look around to find someone that looks the least threatening. The task was harder to do than I expected. Most of the people are drunk or hunching their bodies as they are ready to launch forward. I scan more until I find a young boy. Innocent eyes with a few dirt marks scuffed on his cheeks. I walk to him, trying not to scare him off. He seems hesitant at first before I take my hoodie off to show my face. His shoulders visually relax. I kneel down to eye level with him. 

“Hi, can you help me find someone?” I whisper. His eyes dart around then back to me. He doesn’t respond. I shuffle around in my pocket to find money. Once I pull it out his eyes brighten. He quickly nods his head in agreement. 

“Can you help me find Caitlyn Kiramman? She is about this tall,” I stand to gesture her height, “she has blue hair and a sharp nose,” 

I try my best to describe her to him. I hoped that the description was enough for him. Caitlyn doesn’t look like she belongs in the Undercity. It must be easy to locate her. 

The young boy ponders for a moment before his eyes brighten. He places his hand out and motions me to hand the cash. I place it on top of his hand and he quickly puts it in his pocket. He gestures to me to follow along, his little footsteps patter on the ground. It took about several minutes before he paused and pointed down the street. I tilt my head to examine the low-light street. 

“She’s there?-“ I ask, but the little boy has already run off. I softly chuckle before composing myself. My heart quickens and the sound of my breathing is loud due to how quiet the streets are. I stand still for a moment to evaluate the setting. That’s when I hear a gentle giggle. 

A giggle that sends a wave of crashing memories. My eyes begin to water as I hear the sound again. It’s Caitlyn. I am sure of it. I silently follow the sound. I hear another voice, but can’t make out who it could be. Maybe Caitlyn made a friend while she was staying here. The sound leads me to a tunnel with stairs. 

I hide beside the walls and peek up the tunnel. There in the middle of the stairs is Caitlyn with another woman. My eyes widen in joy. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I can’t contain my excitement. I found her! She’s alive and well! I open my mouth to excitedly shout her name, but quickly stop. 

Caitlyn places her hands on the woman’s hip, pulling her closer. She giggles again, biting the bottom of her lip. The woman sweetly smiles and leans her head closer. She kisses Caitlyn slowly, running her hands down her waist. 

Overwhelming sorrow sinks deep within me. My eyes become glossy, blurring my vision of them. My hand jerks up to grip my chest. It squeezes and pounds in pain. I never knew my heart could physically hurt. I gasp for air as I feel like I’m about to collapse. I lose my footing for a moment, sliding against the wall. I place a hand on the cold wall to hold myself.

I hear Caitlyn softly calling out my name in confusion. I quickly blink to clear my vision. Caitlyn walks down the stairs till she stands in front of me. She stares at me with a shocked expression. I feel myself forcing a stupid smile again. I squeeze my chest to numb the pain again. 

“…Hi,” I choke out. A failed attempt to sound happy. Her eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head.  

“What are you doing here?” She asks. I want to cry out laughing. How can she ask that question? It’s been longer than a year, did she lose track of time? Was she too busy? 

“Who is this?” The woman beside her asks. Caitlyn's eyes move back and forth anxiously. 

“…She’s just an enforcer,” Caitlyn reveals. I furrow my eyebrows in despair and disgust. I’m just an enforcer to her? 

Was all the lovely touches nothing to her? Did the day she cried on my lap mean nothing? Whose name did she moan out when I touched her? 

Without thinking I march up to her to push her. At least something to express my hurt, but the woman steps in front and shoves me hard. I slam against the wall and let out a small grunt. I already feel small and pathetic against her strength. 

“Wait, stop,” Caitlyn hurries to stop the woman. I peek up from my watery eyelashes, breathing heavily. 

“She’s lying,” I quietly laugh. The woman clenches her fist and walks up to me. She grabs a fistful of my jacket around my neck. I try clawing at her hands, but it was no use. She forces me to look at her. 

“Who are you?” She hisses again. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I would wipe it off, but my hand is wrapped around hers. I painfully smile again. 

“Her secret lover,” I choke out. I don’t have to keep it in anymore. The weight lifts off my shoulders. I had always wished the reveal was going to be for something better, nicer, and more beautiful. Yet we are here in the cold night air as I gasp for air. I take a peek at Caitlyn to see her face scrunch in guilt. The woman let go of me. I suck in a deep breath while sliding down to the ground. I grip my throat and tug the collar of my jacket away. I feel too suffocated by everything. 

I collect myself as much as I can before standing up again. I try to reach out and touch Caitlyn, but I pause and hesitate. My hands are shaking. I quickly bring it back to my chest to stop it from shaking so much. I lick my lips and look at her with pleading eyes. 

“I came to look for you,” I explain. 

“Why?” 

Why? 

“You were gone for more than a year! I was left wondering if you got hurt! I got worried,” I cry out. Caitlyn shifts her footing uncomfortably. She avoids my eyes by looking around. 

“Caitlyn…why are you being like this?” My voice cracks. The way she is treating me hurts so much. I don’t feel valued or special. As if… I’m just a nobody, just like how everyone else viewed me. I thought I was different to her. 

“Please talk to me!” I beg. A tear escaped from my eyes as I wept. I clench my chest to hold myself. She breathes heavily while her eyes dart around. She looks worried and guilty. 

“Was it because of her?” I direct it towards the woman, who scuffs in response. Caitlyn doesn’t reply. I take a step towards the woman, not understanding my actions. She clenches her jaw and rotates her wrist to get ready. Her eyes glisten against the street lights. Possession and challenge are evident on her face. I can tell she wants to fight me for Caitlyn. 

I am not backing down. I’ve trained hard for this. 

She swings her fist at me, but I dodge it. I launch my body to collapse her, but she wraps her arm around my waist. She elbows my back hard til I let go. She swings again and knocks the left side of my cheek. I stumble back and yelp in pain. I bring my hand up to cup my throbbing cheek. She is so quick and strong. With just one punch it sent me backward. I glare at her nervously. 

“Giving up so easily?” The woman laughs. I spit blood out my mouth and stand up again. She flickers her fingers to motion me forward. I swing my fist and she dodges, allowing her a clear shot at my stomach. I grunt and stumble back again. I gained my balance and I ran to her again, swinging recklessly. She punches my face near my nose. Pain shoots down my spine. I fall down and immediately grip my nose. Blood flows out and onto my hands. My chest moves up and down fast. I want to cry, but I choke it back when I look at Caitlyn. She stands with a worried look. She looks at me and the woman, pondering who she should care for more.

I need to prove I can be better. I need to show her I can protect her. I stumble to my feet, wiping my bloody nose with the back of my hand. 

The woman launches and lands a few punches on my face and stomach. I am gasping for air as I try to keep up. I try to swing to at least land one hit, but she easily dodges. Caitlyn watches me get beat up over and over. She looks away, clenching her eyes shut.

I failed her. 

I collapse onto the ground, choking out blood. Wheezing for air painfully. I knew I looked pitiful. Bruised, bloody, and crying. The woman looked untouched. I just embarrassed myself in front of Caitlyn. I try to get myself back up, but the pain pierces throughout my body. I stumble and fall again. I end up kneeling, my hands weak by my side. The woman tries to come to me again, but Caitlyn stops her by shoving her back. She begs her to stop hitting me. 

No, it shouldn’t have been this way. I needed to win to get her back. She can’t be the one begging for mercy. I had to be the winner. I can… 

I look down and watch my warm blood drip down onto the ground. Realization settles in my stubborn mind. 

I can’t protect her with these weak skills. I lost. 

Caitlyn's eyes shift and darken. She grips her fist and glares at me. She is angry that I am trying so hard to win her. That I allow myself to get beat up so badly knowing I can’t win- a fool so in love with her. I look up through my puffy and bloody eyes. I smile, feeling my lips crack open. 

“I’m sorry,” I wept. She forces herself to look away as tears roll down her face. Words continue to pour out from my lips. 

“I’m sorry I am not strong enough.

I’m sorry if… I ever embarrassed you.

I understand why you wanted us to be a secret… why you left and found someone who can protect you. 

I tried so hard to prove myself, but what’s the point anymore… I just simply can’t. 

People are right about me. They always were… and deep inside you knew it.” 

Tears continually roll down my cheeks. I could no longer fake a smile anymore. How can I put on a facade when I am evidently broken and weak? I bring my hands to my heart. An attempt to shield and comfort myself. My body shakes as I cry. I can’t blame her for hurting me. My understanding and naive heart is a curse made to ruin me. I loved too much and recklessly. It’s my fault.

Caitlyn brings a hand up to her mouth to silence her cries. She shakes her head. Millions of emotions crash in her mind, but she can't speak it out. It’s too late. She can not undo the mistakes she has made. 

The damage had already been made the moment she laid eyes on you. 

[beansprean]

Modern Dating with your Vampire Master...they're so silly actually.

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(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Shot of the exterior of the vampire house at night, lit from within. 1b. Wide shot in profile of Guillermo in the foyer, descending from the large front window on a tall teal ladder with a 'verner' logo on the side. He is wearing green chinos, boots, and a white collared shirt with suspenders; he has a blue bucket with a 'blowes' logo on the side full of cleaning products in one hand. From offscreen, Nandor calls, "Guillermo?" Guillermo responds absently with a "Hm?" concentrating on stepping down safely. 1c. Close up on Guillermo as he reaches the floor, looking over toward Nandor with mild curiosity. From offscreen, Nandor declares, "I would like to take you out on a date." 1d. Wide shot, knees up, of both men standing in the foyer, the doorway to the fancy room visible behind them, fireplace lit and glowing in the space between them. Guillermo, incredibly caught off card, shrieks out a choked keysmash of words and reflexively throws the bucket in his hands, sending it crashing into the ladder behind him and toppling it all to the ground. His eyes are comically wide, fixed on Nandor, and his face is flushed red. Nandor stands before him with his hands folded formally behind his back, shoulders back, head high, nervously looking away with flushed cheeks. 1e. Close up of Nandor returning his gaze towards Guillermo with a wobbly frown, chin tucked to his chest defensively as his nerves catch up to him. There are sounds of the ladder and bucket crashing to the floor offscreen. Guillermo stutters out, "You... you what?!" 1f. Repeat. Nandor puffs himself up angrily, baring his fangs as he snaps, flustered, "I am not repeating myself!"

2a. Chest up of them both in profile on a streaky brown background. Guillermo, flushed red and staring hard at Nandor, pushes his glasses up his nose and asks hesitantly, "You...want to go on a date...with me?" Nandor grimaces uncomfortably, shoulders tense as he leans his torso back away from Guillermo, cheeks purple and eyes looking elsewhere. He clarifies, "I said I wanted to take you on a date, that's not the same thing." Guillermo pushes, "But you do want that." Nandor grits out a painful "Yyyeeessss..." 2b. Extreme closeup of Nandor in the foreground, turning his head fully away from Guillermo to glare over his own shoulder, flustered and sweating nervously. In the background, Guillermo tilts his head with a frown, unimpressed, and counters, "Then why do you look like I have a stake to your heart when you say it?" 2c. Waist up of Nandor on an orange and yellow polka dot background as he turns back to face Guillermo, nervous and embarrassed. He twists his fingers together as he says, "Metaphorically...you do. You have for some time, in fact." 2d. Small reaction shot from Guillermo, staring with wide shining eyes and blushing cheeks on a background of pink bubbles. A large pink heart floats next to him, stabbed through with a stake and spurting drops of blood.

3a. Chest up of them both in profile on a streaky brown background. Guillermo is now the one to drop his gaze with a pleased smile, half turning away as he rubs nervously at his neck. He mumbles, "That's either really sweet or really concerning..." Nandor squeezes his eyes shut in frustration and flaps his hands around to shoo away the tangent in their conversation. He snaps, "Enough of this!" 3b. Close up of Nandor from Guillermo's POV on an orange and yellow starburst background. Nandor draws himself up tall, shoulders straight, chin up, and whips his head toward Guillermo, hair flying around his shoulders. He shouts, "Do you want to go on a date with me or not??" His demanding posture is betrayed only by the blush in his cheeks and the pleading shine in his eyes. 3c. Close up of Guillermo on an orange and yellow starburst background as he similarly draws up his shoulders, cheeks flushed, wide eyes meeting Nandor's. He immediately blurts out, "I do!!"

4a. Waist up of them both in profile, the left side of the foyer with the fancy room beyond visible in the background, fireplace lit and glowing in the space between them. Guillermo smiles, pleased and flustered, and looks down to play aimlessly with his fingers. He repeats at a more measured volume, "I...I do." Nandor grins and pumps both fists up to shake victoriously between them, replying, "Great!" 4b. Extreme closeup of Nandor's belt in the foreground as he whips around to walk away down the hall, long coat flapping like a cape. He declares, "You will meet me there at sundown tomorrow in your least-shitty sweater. Guillermo, waist-up in the background, stares after him with a besotted expression, hands clasped together over his chest and hearts floating around his dazed head. He smiles dreamily and replies, "Okay..." 4d. Small closeup on Guillermo on a pink background as he freezes, expression disappearing behind his glasses. His thoughts are expressed in large white letters above his head: "Wait." 4e. High shot of the foyer from the upper right corner, showing the full staircase, doorways to the hall and fancy room, and the ladder toppled over by the front door. Guillermo is jogging after Nandor toward the main hallway, calling after him, "Wait, meet you where? Mast-Nandor!" /end ID

[starspangledbatter]

About the Lueduar01 Drama

⭐ I'm so sorry for what I've done. I had no intentions to falsely accuse Lu as a p3do. I genuinely believed that my friend was in danger and needed help towards a safer space. He came up to me with these screenshots and told me he was in dire need. Please do not send harassment towards @lueduar01 and please hear him out for what he has to say. It was all false. ⭐

When I read my notifications earlier, I saw my same friend accusing @allhailthequeenuwu as a bad person too, with no "proof" to back that up. I was skeptical about this and I have come to the realization that this may be intentional for all the wrong reasons. He's targeting popular TADC artists with false accusations and played with my intentions. I didn't mean for anything like this to happen and I apologize to both Lueduar and his followers.

This week has been tough for me, to say the least. My optimism and happiness feels dried out for the silliest reason. The TADC community has been such a great community to be a part of and I love spending my time within it every day. However, I've just felt down over the future of the series I guess, specifically with the fate of Ragatha and Jax, knowing what Goose has said about them. I know I'm probably just catastrophizing over something I could properly move on from when it happens but I still feel like maybe I built my hopes too high, to an unrealistic standpoint. We'll only know till we know after all. I don't want my worries or anxiety to ruin a series I've loved thus far. I want to stay optimistic at every turn. However, I'm scared that one day, my hopes will just blow up in my face because of that. A hyperfixation I once enjoyed would be spent in worry and misery instead of enjoyment and humor. I'm a minor myself and I've been afraid to admit that a silly cartoon could do that to me. I'm still going to watch the 4th episode today. Hopefully, my day turns around.

I didn't expect my friend to lie and falsely accuse well-intentioned people. I apologize to the TADC community and for what I spread around in it. I thought I was doing a good thing, only to realize I created a terrible drama that turned out to be a lie. I'm sorry. Please forgive the users mentioned here today for what I assumed. And please forgive me too. I just want this community to have a good day and to enjoy the 4th episode together.

[mo-ons-stuff]

Pick a Card: Your Love Life in 2025

Any card!

Pile one -> Pile two ↓ Pile Three

Pile One

I'm hearing that you're going to experience this fairytale kind of love. The one where Cinderella and Prince Charming find each other. They dance at the ball, yadda yadda yadda. You're going to experience it all, so I don't have to reaaalllly go into that much detail. It'll be great.

Except, since I also see that you'll love this person persistently, right? But there's also gonna be a minor issue. They're perfect, sure, but there's that one thing that gets you a bit like... hmmmm.

Aka, ~the ick~.

Now, pile one, you're going to have to get real for a moment. Is it an ick, or is it normal? Can you really chastise someone for existing as, like, a human being?

This year will bring you great love, but also great lessons. You may need to learn how to grow with other people. Meaning, you've done the work to get comfortable with yourself, but are you comfortable with other people? I don't see so. You're actually a bit more judgmental than you thought, to the point where you don't realize it. You may think of yourself as a person who is graceful to others, so maybe try seeing where this thought blocks you from actually giving grace.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to focus on growing with other people, too. The thing you're gonna have to remember is to get out of your own head. Touch grass. I don't see that you don't but maybe look at the grass for what it is instead of triumphantly exclaiming that you did the thing.

So, in tandem with what I just said, your love life will go just perfectly. I doubt that this lesson will fly over your head, so try not to ruin a good thing for yourself and it will all be good. You're going to get your happily ever after.

Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!

Pile Two

Not going to lie, this pile is similar to pile three in the sense that you've gone through a bit. Life has a habit of throwing things at you, so you are used to bracing yourself. However, where others haven't done the work, you have. Where there was lack before, there is abundance now. You cultivated the wastelands and have conquered mountains. You've done so much and now all is left is... love?

You're pretty balanced as an individual. Nicely enough, this actually attracts people. That. Is. So. Crazy !!!! <- I'm getting that you'll be thinking back on this year and it's interactions like that. Literally, though, it's going to blow your mind how when push comes to shove... your efforts actually led to good results. You're going to see what it's like in action.

It's not like it's going to be too unbelievable. It's literally just a new normal. And, it takes getting used to.

When you do get used to it, dating itself is going to be really nice. You'll know how to get around and find someone. This is going to be less of a surprise to you; I'll explain why.

This lover is very bumbly (almost clumsy) and sweet, and meanly enough you may not consider them an option at first. It's not personal, you just didn't. But they are also kind of obvious too. It's just endearing, honestly. They're a bit silly, with all of this as I'm reading like awww they're so cute. You won't have to worry about the cruelty of the world with them. They're a human with emotions and complications do arise because of that, but you know how to navigate these things and so do they.

Not going to lie, some of you are afab wlw, and others are afab but straight. This person could be either gender, so basically take it as it resonates for the gender you're into.

*gif unrelated. Tahani is hot and a baddie.

Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!

Pile Three

"I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that's not easy."- Marilyn Monroe

Admittedly, and I mean admittedly because you know this deep down, pile three, but admittedly you know that your love prospects haven’t been good. You are aware of why, too. There’s a truth that you’re running from, all because it’s a bit too painful to process. And it makes you choose the same hurt again and again. The devil often comes knocking at your door, and you haven’t comprehended that maybe you shouldn’t fall for the different clothes or his sweet words.

All of that is to say: gain more self-awareness. You’re falling for the same tricks in different clothes because you aren’t aware of what you need to do to not let this in. Boundaries are powerful only because they stop things that aren't meant for you in your life. Don't forget: you not liking things and acting accordingly is a boundary, too.

To speak from the heart for a moment: I kept wondering why certain types of people were "attracted" to me, like I was a magnet for bad. But, as it turns out, I've learned that other people tolerate bullshit so much less. Meaning, I was not attracting these people. They interact with others too; I was letting them in where others wouldn't. If you're suffering, and you notice that the people around you aren't, they're doing something you haven't been doing. Maybe you subconsciously tolerate less, or maybe you even consciously ignore the voice in your head telling you to get away.

You can only ever subconsciously tolerate less by consciously getting disgusted at tolerating more.

Actionable advice to change your future: if confronting the monster that needs to be confronted is too hard for you, chip away at its hard scales slowly but surely. Keep your distance at the times you need to, and confront it head on when you need to. It takes patience and you may get burned, but experience is the best teacher. Look to others who have been through the same thing as you and be completely open to trying what they have successfully used to combat their disorders, addictions, and trauma (always get medical professional help first though).

This is a you year. One day at a time, you will get better. And when the next new year rolls around, maybe you'll have learned enough to finally embrace a year of romantic prosperity and abundance. I see that this pile is actually lowkey full of baddies, pulling a quote by Marilyn Monroe isn't for weak personalities.

On a final note, don't get discouraged by this message. One year in a life is a drop in the ocean. You most likely won't remember the lonely times when you finally do reach the other side of the hardships. All that matters is that you get comfortable with *you*, and what's meant for you will soon follow.

Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!

Thank you for reading!

[colleendoran]

How Do I Do Stuff

The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.

I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.

Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.

I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.

I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.

This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.

I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.

This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.

But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.

He's pretty, too.

If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.

Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.

Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.

Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.

However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.

Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.

The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.

Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.

I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.

While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.

So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.

If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.

Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.

Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.

So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.

[uhohdad]

(18+) WARNING: ABUSE - MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR

☆ König Voiceline Inspired Drabbles ☆

“Not bad… I’ve seen better.”

König knows what he’s doing. There’s a reason he picked a young, pretty little thing to toy with. Naive and inexperienced and desperate for someone to give you the guidance and attention you crave.

You were such an easy target. Looking up at him with stars in those pretty wide eyes at every little scrap of praise he threw your way, bending over backwards for more, you were addicted to his approval and terrified of his displeasure.

You generously repeat the outfits that he compliments and he never again sees the outfits he quirks a brow at, the faintest frown on his lips, so subtly conveying his disapproval with the choices you make when left to your own devices.

He loves breaking you down just to build you back up. Making you feel dumb for your silly hobbies and interests, just for him to plan a date that revolves around your favorite things. Tell you how you barely qualify as a professional, working a job fit for a teenager, just for him to visit with a pick-me-up while you’re knee deep in paperwork. Such a hard worker you are, schatz. You deserve a treat.

You always get so nervous when he withdrawals. He loves how a few days of radio silence leaves you so pliant once he decides to let you back in. How your voice sounds extra high-pitched and pleasant, how you doll yourself up and wear his favorite outfit, how you’re on your best behavior and jumping through hoops for his reassurance.

König loves how desperate you are to please him in the bedroom. Not hesitating to drop your knees, craning up at him as he towers over you, dawning those soft, nervous doe eyes. He instructs you to undress him, and you obey, shaking fingers fumbling for his belt, pulling down his zipper, reaching into his waistband to retrieve his aching cock.

He’s so big in those small, delicate hands. He watches you marvel at the size, can practically hear your racing thoughts, wondering if you’ll be able to handle him.

You’d never want to let him down. So you put those pretty little lips around his cock, carefully watching his expression to see if you’re doing a good job as you slobber over him.

König bites his lip, fighting with everything he has to suppress the grunts and moans threatening to leave him, to keep his face even instead of twisting in pleasure.

He likes watching you falter, stumbling over yourself, confused and worried, jumping to swallow more of him until he’s satisfied. So desperate to please him you choke yourself with his cock, gagging, tears streaming down your face, chin slick with your spit.

“If you can’t handle as something as simple as a blow job, I guess I’ll just have to do it myself.”

He grabs a fistful of your hair, holding your head steady with a tight grip as he ruthlessly fucks your mouth, finally letting the pent-up gravelly grunts and moans flow freely.

“That’s it, schatz. Take this cock. Being so good, aren’t you?”

And even while you’re choking on his brutal thrusts, your brows slope and raise, stars in your glossy eyes and a flood of arousal in your panties.

“You’ll do anything to make me happy, won’t you schatz?”

☆ “They are no match for me” ☆

☆ “Let’s be honest, it’s better off in my hands” ☆