#blood tests suck
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I just got my blood tests done after procrastinating after a month. And it TOTALLY wasn't because of the needle... 😔
But istg if it comes back with anything, BUT high cholesterol, with those tests, ill lose my shit. My older step sister already assumes there's a high chance I have Leukemia, or something. I don't need to be in any more debt than I already am college
#I fucking HATE needles with a passion#Blood tests suck#please dont put me in debt#debt#im not physically okay to begin with#have mercy on me dear lord 😭😭#skullsoup➣✭#abnormalworks➢✯
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Welcome back, Case One
#scopophobia tw#minor blood tw#call of duty black ops 6#cod black ops 6#black ops 6 case#case black ops#case cod#william case calderon#artists on tumblr#sorry it took so long#tests + art block suck#anyway CASE‼️‼️#i'll prob juggle between bell & case now#gotta warm up my bell torture muscles#i say torture but like#its not really much
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accidental comic, make up ur own context
#blood tw#gore tw#HMMM... i think i couldve gone crazier but this was a fun test!#rocket raccoon#my art#rocket 2016#ermm should i put this in main tag? i kno theres violence in th movie n comics and stuff but yk#okay..#gotg#this sucks#i actually hate it now
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I also lost my cat recently. it's horrible. take care of yourself, ok? you'll be ok.
yeah dude its fucking awful... im sorry for your loss too :( i wish they could live forever with us. or at least as much as possible.... my boy wasnt even a senior, he was around 10 years old and i had had him for 8..
#like if he had been like 12... id be like okay he's an old kitty...this was gonna happen#but i wasnt prepared for it to happen like this. i was so desperate that nothing i did could help him#nothing helped. no ultrasound no x ray no cardiology check up no blood test no antibiotics. nothing could figure out what was wrong#and then it was too late. just that whole situation (been going on since june) had me so crazy#and then this last month was a fucking nightmare it happened so fast. like i wasnt prepared#u cant ever be prepared i guess... but idk i wish it wouldve been different#i wish he had died of old age instead. or at least i wish we knew what caused him to be so sick.#like if i was told its idk. cancer. and its taken over and hes gonna die#it wouldve been awful too. of course. but i wouldve known. i wouldve been told.#i wouldnt have had to watch him get to the point he got and accept that whatever he had. it didnt matter anymore. because it beat him.#it sucks so bad it sucks so bad. its so unfair.#sorry for venting in my tags ig. whatever. fuck everything this world is fucked and evil#personal
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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This might just be my period brain talking but fighting kechizu in phantom parade almost made me burst into tears YUUJI THAT IS YOUR BROTHER PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU BE NICE
#jjk#jjk phantom parade#genuinely made me emotional#and it sucks too bc gege never comes back to HOW YUUJI AND NOBARA KILL TWO OF YUUJI'S OLDER BROTHERS#IF HE LOVED AND FELT SOMETHING FOR CHOSO HE SHOULD'VE ALSO FELT SOMETHING WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT THEM#also not even touching on the whole 'half-curses and transfigured humans can be read as disabled' thing-#that might not have been intentional but is definitely there#do you think kenjaku knew??? that yuuji and his friends would be there? do you think they tested yuuji by pitting him against his own blood?#were they banking on chosos anger overlosing eso and kechizu to cloud his judgment enough to kill yuuji without realising that's his brother#y'know to force a binding vow with sukuna like they wanted#DO YOU THINK KENJAKU FELT ANYTHING SENDING OUT THEIR KIDS TO KILL EACH OTHER
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//went to the dr and all they did was take my fucking blood... again
#ooc#this time they're testing my vitamin d to see if i might be deficient#while i hope that's the case because that can be easily cured i've also HAD a vit d deficiency before and it felt NOTHING like this#granted i guess this could be a more severe deficiency#but idk i feel like they're laser focusing on the fatigue i initially reported and not the constant horrible body pain that's set in#and worsened in the couple months since i made the appointment#like i had the pain with the fatigue as well but it wasn't constant. now it's FUCKING CONSTANT.#it's not always at the worst possible level but it's pretty much always there in some form or another#and tbh this is like. the 3rd time they've taken blood with the first 2 tests yielding no clue as to what could be wrong with me#so i know they need to do it to check and/or rule out everything but like#it's so frustrating. being in constant pain. and constantly being told to 'wait for results' that so far have yielded nothing#nothing that points to what's wrong anyway#so i hope it IS a vit d deficiency and i hope my gut feeling that it's not is way off the mark#because a deficiency can be fixed with some supplements and boom all better#but if it's not.... then i have to face the reality that this is probably some kind of chronic illness#which i've been coming to realize that it might be#but it still fucking sucks#because this time last year i was Literally Fucking Fine#and now i'm just. so fucking sick. and sick of BEING sick.#and every time i go in i feel like i'm rushed right out. like i mention my concerns but i don't have the time to think if there's something#i've forgotten because they're rushing me towards the lab to get my blood drawn. again.#and usually there is#but this is literally the only clinic i can afford rn so#just gotta tough it out and cross my fingers that some vitamins are all i need
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spent around 8 months applying for this doctor appointment and they literally told me to take more ibuprofen 👎
#im super angry but its whatever i guess#i also didnt want to do all this bc i think doctors suck but my parents wanted me to#bc theyre dumbasses who still like. believe that doctors are good at their jobs#im like cassandra the profit the way i was like 'theyre not going to help at all' and i was fucking right#they also fucked up my blood test scheduling and want me to drive another 2 hrs to get it done#like. ive made 3 trips there in the past week. u could have had a blood test ANY of those times. kys
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every time i get blood drawn i come back with like 2-3 extra stabs from the nurses trying to find a good vein
#its not their fault like apparently i'm just hard to get blood from for some reason.#sucks bc apart from that i actually rlly like having blood tests lmao like i'm cool w needles and blood etc and it doesnt hurt
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r.ebirth is a bad game except for when it's not trying to be a good game. when it's trying to be a good game it sucks and when it's bad it's bad. but when it's not trying to be good it's so good
#its like no one told anyone on the development team no. the side quests and exploration are so shallow#the mini games are overbearing and genuinely bad and literally everywhere#this game has the worst haptic response and controller vibration i've ever experienced#i want to throw MAI into a fucking volcano and chadley is getting there too#and then i'll emerge after four hours of completing dogshit objectives to some of the most charming party dialogue in the world#i spent almost all of junon's parade grinning ear to ear#cloud says no to a blood test and won't elaborate. cloud talks about his mom and leaving home at age 13#red and aerith talk about what it means to hate hojo#rufus calls out the shinra executives for never saying no to leadership#barret and cloud make jokes at each other's expenses. barret reckons with corel with unusual calm and resolve#and in between it all are the worst fucking characters you've ever met in your life. some are even returning characters that always sucked#seriously who the FUCK wanted to see the shinra middle manager again. what decision led the writers to this#the pacing is terrible. the fighting fucks. every side quest feels like it was written by ai. i adore queens blood#it's fucking unhinged. it's not a good game. it's the best thing i've ever played. it's mid to a fault and so over-the-top flashy#i get sick of it so quickly and then keep playing for a few hours#god. i hate it here#i also love it here. it sucks#bolt plays ff7
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everyone please clap for me im being responsible against the advice of my most hedonistic impulses
#I was gonna hit up the dispensary bc Wednesday is their sale day#but before I went I searched if it could fuck up my blood test results im doing tomorrow#and supposedly it MIGHT impact the stuff they’re testing me for so. sobriety :(#idk I only saw one source that said that but I only looked at like 3 sources#and one was focused on the blood tests you gotta fast for which mine are Not#so. low research on my end but it���s for the best anyway if I don’t but uuuuhhfhghhggbn :(#god realizing this became an addiction sucks. im still fuckin tempted!!!!!!!!#ugh#Sorry To My Fans For Daily Addiction Posting
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churned the month long project out in 30 minutes less than an hour before the due date barely conscious because im still super sick and i am NOT proofreading.
pray for me.
#genuinely tho... it'll take a miracle for this essay to still be comprehensible in the morning#i have been sick for months and am at the very end of my sanity my professor will have to take what he can get#side note. being sick this long sucks butt. send me good vibes. i need them.#(no the doctors don't know what's wrong. finally did a blood test today hopefully that'll shed some light when we get results back)#anyways :]]]#we stay silly#my yapping
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All these new fic for the reverse bangs and im sitting here like Man I'd love to read these. I got naruto, though. 🫡 I'll get to them eventually
#speculation nation#and what time im.not spending on naruto im spending writing#or uh. getting my blood drawn. 10 of them. 10 whole blood.#real talk that fucked me up actually. like i talked big to the nurse like 'oh ive donated blood before i'll be fine'#but what i failed to think about was the fact that donating blood also fucked me up#im a small person with a sensitive constitution. my body dont like it.#so i was out of commission for a day and well now im uh. i dont even know. ive been crocheting today.#trying to write bc im on a strict deadline 💀💀💀💀 i will make it. i will. im determined to.#school starts in a week tho Augh and i have psychological testing (4 HOURS) AND my dentist appointment on the SAME. DAY.#tuesday babeyyy whatup. it's gonna suck.#tomorrow i have to shower and do laundry. at the minimum. bcus then theres tuesday and THEN i have a haircut on wednesday#getting my side shave yessssir. going to an actual place rather than just greatclips again . lol.#ummmmm all that considered i might request to not have a driving thing this week. too much shit to do.#wahh wahhh so many appointments. and i am NOT going to get a good grade in flossing.#why didnt i start flossing sooner than this. at least it doesnt hurt as much as it did yesterday. i still wont be ready in time tho.#oh well tomorrow i have to be productive. i need to watch less naruto. no not even with itachi and sasuke fight. not even then.#im just gonna lie down in. the dirt now.
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doctor: do you eat ice chips
me: ye
doctor: you have an iron deficiency
#Text Post#Mine#excuse you ma'am my blood test said I was on the lower end of the 'TYPICAL' range#did you even check my twice monthly blood letting you demand for smh#Sigh why must everything I love be associated with negative health#Doctors Appointments#Suck ass bbbbbrrpth
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Shout out to me for actually doing my shot on time!!
#needles /#it's usually 8-9 days between shots instead of 7#but i actually managed to do it today!#i really do hate doing these#i still can't look when i get blood drawn or anything#and if i think about the needle too much while it's going in i'll pass out#but i manage#i have done this hundreds of times#and while it got easier in the mechanical sense#and bc i switched to subq bc w IM i kept passing out#it hasn't mentally gotten much easier#i can do it without a problem#but it sucks#it's the best option for me#even larger doses and more time between are worse for me#the smaller amt subq every week is the best for me#in theory the implants are great#in reality just the thought makes me nauseous#if i look at a tb test i pass out#for reference#needles are fine#things under my skin are not
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