#blofeld and king i mean

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[dye-it-rouge-et-noir]

Welcome to the Elliot Carver as Elektra King's weird uncle figure agenda by yours truly, Rouge/Elliot!

The concept for these two has been in my head for quite some time now and I've just gathered the motivation to write this. I would not consider this to be a proper analysis, but rather a long ramble written in one night. (Roughly 900 words?) Now, let's get right to it!

Introduction

The Brosnan era of films introduced a notable set of villains to act as adversaries for James Bond. Particularly, Elliot Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies and Elektra King from The World is not Enough hold a myriad of similarities that would make them ideal for a relatively affable relationship. Moreover, these similarities also emphasize narrative aspects within Brosnan era such as the malignancy behind given positions of power that are left hidden from the eyes of others.

Parallels

Charming the Media

They are masters of the masquerade, feigning innocence for the world with their charisma. With deception, they draw attention to themselves but as a strategic tactic to mask their thorns. Elektra knows her ability to charm others well as a femme fatale character, using it to manipulate others in order to have the world at her hands. Likewise, Elliot appeals to the media by acting like a benevolent figure that seeks to unravel the truths of the world as a facade for the underlying malignancy of his networks. 

Though Elektra's charm is more oriented towards seduction and Elliot's charm more oriented towards the usage of a media personality, they both use charm to achieve power over others. It is a subtle yet effective means of control that nobody else notices. Before people know it, they will already have the upper-hand.

Mirroring Blofeld

In some ways, the both of them mirror Bond's nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld. The similarities are more intentional with Elektra. A notable phrase from Barbara Broccoli herself is that she notes: "With Elektra, Bond thinks he has found Tracy, but he's really found Blofeld." She is a person that manipulates others under the guise of someone contrary to who she really is. Here is an article from License to Queer by Sam Rogers that details the connections between On Her Majesty's Secret Service and The World is not Enough far better than I could: (Click here!)

Regarding Elliot Carver, there are prominent similarities with Blofeld such as his intolerance for failure and desire for control with his influence. Aesthetically, he adorns the similar attire to Blofeld as well to allude to a similar position of power. Moreover, the connection with Blofeld demonstrates how he serves to be a formidable foe in terms of his influence with his media empire.

By acting as foils to Blofeld, both characters showcase a special form of cruelty the espionage world holds for Bond. They epitomize a malevolent longing for control and the influence they hold beneath exterior appearances.

Familial Distance and Disdain

With both of their father figures, these two have a certain degree of disdain towards them. Though a trait exclusive to the novelization of Elliot's film, he was abandoned by his biological father and sought to confront his father to create the legacy he thought he deserved. Made more explicit with Elektra, she holds a disdain for her father due to how he handled her kidnapping. The both of them resorted to violent means that resulted in both of their fathers death.

However, there presents the additional layer of how her culture is being impacted by her father's operations. Though Elektra is a character who should not be taken at face-value, the lines "The new pipeline will guarantee our future, but it would be a crime to destroy what little is left of our past" and "His kingdom he stole from my mother, the kingdom I will rightly take back" cue into the importance of her mother's heritage and preserving it. Thus, this introduces the potential that Elektra would hold some distance from her father on this factor even without the kidnapping.

In a way, they are both people that will take back that should have been theirs. They will maintain their legacies for the world regardless of what it takes.

Application of Similarities

Considering these similarities, they are able to understand each other better than anybody else would. The two of them understand the power they hold over others, but also understand why they want said power in the first place. They would know the truth lurking beneath the lies they tell. They would be able to create a form of family to take the place of where there is none in a way. In terms of a business relationship, they could mutually benefit from it. With the power of the media on Elliot's end, he would be able to spread Elektra's influence along with his own. 

(Breaking the formalities to say that I believe in Elliot Carver being the "cool uncle" archetype for Elektra King in which the latter has outrageous stories to tell and maybe end up roping Elektra into. They essentially get to "live a little" in a way, especially in Elektra's case. What's the point of living if you don't feel alive?)

Though not a necessity for constructing potential interactions, the fact that they share a Bond era allows events to be placed chronologically in a tidy fashion. As King Industries and the King family hold some recognition in the media, it would be highly likely that the Carver Media Group Network has personally reported on the firm. Prior to the events of Tomorrow Never Dies, it is plausible that the two were at least familiar with each other even if they didn't actually interact.

Conclusion

Thank you for attending a ramble of mine and I would very much appreciate further discussion! I wish that this was longer, but it is past 3 AM here as I type this and I barely have enough energy to continue any further. (Apologies if anything sounded off due to being sleep-deprived) Additionally, I cannot think of much else to say so I will end things here.

[twistedtummies2]

The Price May Be Right - Number 15

Welcome to “The Price May Be Right!” I’m counting down My Top 31 Favorite Vincent Price Performances & Appearances! The countdown will cover movies, TV productions, and many more forms of media. We’ve reached the Top 15 for this countdown! Today we focus on Number 15: Richelieu, from The Three Musketeers.

Alexandre Dumas’ classic swashbuckling stories of “The Three Musketeers” have been adapted numerous times to the stage and screen. When it comes to movie adaptations, most people agree that the best version is the 1970s Musketeers Trilogy, directed by Richard Lester. However, if there is a cinematic runner-up to the Lester Trilogy of Musketeer movies for the best adaptation, it is undoubtedly the 1948 film from MGM, directed by George Sidney. This Technicolor adventure epic does a most excellent job of telling the rather broad story from Dumas’ novel, condensing the plot down to a length of just over two hours without sacrificing much in the way of characters and intrigue. It also features some of the finest performances ever done by its star-studded cast, including Gene Kelly as the heroic D’Artagnan, Angela Lansbury as Queen Anne, Frank Morgan as King Louis XIII, Lana Turner as Milady De Winter…and Vincent Price as the main villain of the story, Richelieu. In the original book, Richelieu is, of course, Cardinal Richelieu: a controversial historical figure. While most adaptations keep this fact in play, most likely because he WAS a real person, the 1948 film takes liberties with history by making Richelieu the Prime Minister of France. The reason for this was simply the world of filmmaking at the time: there was trepidation about depicting a leading figure of the Catholic Church as the villain of the story in the 1940s, due to religious sympathies and a fear of censorship. While Vincent’s Richelieu may not have the title of Cardinal, this ultimately matters little, since the fictional character of Richelieu remains basically intact. And in works like this, that is what counts most. In many ways, I like to say Richelieu is a Bond Villain who existed before Bond Villains were even a thing. I mean, first of all, just look at the image I chose: that’s basically the Archetypal Bond Villain Pose, courtesy of Blofeld. XD But even in terms of the plot and the role he plays in the story, this character feels like the sort of evil genius a protagonist like 007 would have needed to tackle. He’s a cunning puppet master of a villain; the kind of evil mastermind who lurks in the shadows, pulling the strings. Richelieu does little in terms of direct confrontation with his adversaries, but instead prefers to use his henchmen and the power he has over the state and military to enforce his will. He makes loyal subjects seem like traitors, and hires serial murderers as his lieutenants, all while plotting to take over the kingdom entirely and wage war against his enemies in England. The funniest part is, at the end of the story, Richelieu doesn’t TECHNICALLY lose: while his plans are foiled, his defeat comes at a high cost for the heroes, which makes the ending interesting in its tone. In some ways it’s a happy ending, but in other ways there’s a sort of ambiguity to it. Vincent’s performance is both hammy and understated at the same time. He plays Richelieu with a Satanical charm and equally devilish eloquency. His character is a smarmy, crafty villain, and a master strategist: he seems to know just about everything about his enemies, and even his allies, and is able to out-think them and be two steps ahead at almost every turn. Whenever one scheme fails, he has a backup plan already set up. Anytime D’Artagnan and the other Musketeers think they’ve got Richelieu all figured out, he throws them a curveball that makes them second guess their whole approach. While he never rants or raves, or laughs beyond a chortle, his oily performance definitely carries a thick layer of melodrama to it in the way it is written and framed. There are also elements of empathy to Richelieu, as there are lines even he hesitates to cross in his work, and he can be reasoned with under certain circumstances. He even shows a sense of respect towards his opponents; always a fun quality in an antagonist. This is another role I don’t hear people talk about too often when they discuss Price’s best characters, but it’s definitely worthy of a place in my personal Top 15. Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 14!

[wingsy-keeper-of-songs]

Double Trouble

A little gift for my girl @movieexpert1978 as she wanted something with Blofeld since he’s her favorite. And she had this hilarious idea of what happened if Elisa used to date King and they split up (on good terms) and she ended up with Blofeld? Thus, this was born. I hope you enjoy it, lovey!

Sometimes when he closes his eyes, he can see her. Eyes wide and impossibly blue, long dark hair falling over her shoulders and a sweet face unaccustomed to seeing such despicable acts of violence. It’s been quite a while since he’s seen her last, since they’d parted ways as good friends rather than lovers. He misses her, and a part of him always will, but she’s moved on and so must he. He met with the other man briefly, and a deep secret part of him didn’t like the man in the slightest. He was too proud, too much of a prat. He’d looked at him as if he were no better than the dirt under their feet. He recalls Elisa looking at the man adoringly and that same dark secret part of him wants to scream. He keeps that part buried deep within awful memories and painful experiences. The man’s name is a mystery to him. He calls himself Franz Oberhauser in public, but keeps a secret name in the shadows. They’ve crossed paths before they had a lady in common. Schultz was often tasked with cleaning up SPECTRE’s messes. He’s put a few bullets in quite a few valuable henchmen and Oberhauser or Blofeld or whatever he was calling himself was made quite aware of it.

             “I’ve had my run-ins with your friend,” the man was saying to Elisa. “Several, in fact. His aim is impeccable for a man of such limited resources.” Schultz forces the polite smile to stay on his face, though he’s sure it could be mistaken for a snarl if one were to look closer.

             “He doesn’t miss,” his companion for the evening says with a fond look at him and venom in her smile. “He’s highly capable of a lot of things, Herr Blofeld.” Blofeld laughs softly as if he doubts this, but his face betrays nothing of the sort.

             “I’ve witnessed enough of his skill not to argue otherwise,” he says. “I wonder if he would ever be willing to teach a few of my associates how to aim.” Over my dead body, Schultz thinks murderously.

             “It’s a skill that takes patience, which some of your friends are sadly lacking.” He says instead and he doesn’t miss the dark look that comes over Herr Blofeld’s face. Schultz inwardly smirks. Take that, you pretentious prick. Elisa seems to notice the tension between the two men and she looks from Blofeld to Schultz nervously.

             “Well, I can assure you that SPECTRE is doing very well,” Blofeld says under a tight smile.

             “Much better than you were before?” Schultz inquires with a quirk of an eyebrow. “The way I hear it, the head of the snake was cut off some time ago and you’re squandering.” The woman on his arm (going by the name of Nora) looks surprised that he’s broken out of his polite façade.

             “Maybe we ought to change the subject,” Elisa says nervously.

             “Nonsense, if the good doctor wants a show of power, he ought to get it.” Blofeld replies with a crooked half-smile that’s lost all politeness. Schultz is fully prepared to shoot his way out of this situation and he meets Blofeld’s gaze with a matching smirk of his own.

             “By all means, demonstrate away.” He says coolly. Both men jump when Nora bangs a fist on the table.

             “No one is demonstrating anything,” she says with narrowed eyes at the both of them. “If the two of you wish to act like children, there’s a daycare a few blocks from here.” Schultz withers just a bit under her steely glare while Blofeld looks surprised anyone would accuse him of being childish. “All we’re here for is a good dinner and a chat among friends,” Nora continues. “And you’re embarrassing your date, Herr Blofeld.” Blofeld’s gaze softens just a bit when he glances at Elisa and Schultz just hates it.

             “Apologies, then.” He says as he takes Elisa’s hand in his and kisses the back of it. “It wasn’t my intention to embarrass you, my love.” Schultz looks away as if pained. This doesn’t escape the other woman’s notice as she lays a comforting hand on his shoulder.

             “Perhaps we ought to finish this conversation another time,” she suggests to Elisa rather than to Blofeld. The brunette nods.

             “Maybe when the boys can get along a little better,” she agrees with a teasing smile at the other woman. Both women stand up and their opposing men stand with them. Blofeld gets Elisa’s jacket for her while Schultz pays the bill and shrugs out of his own jacket to give to his lady.

             “Who says they have to come along?” Nora says to Elisa with a grin of her own. “Honestly, I can’t take this one anywhere without him getting into some sort of trouble.” Elisa laughs.

             “It’s quite the same with him,” she nods at Blofeld who looks as if he were about to argue, but at a Look from Schultz, he keeps his mouth shut this time. “Trouble seems to follow him everywhere.” Schultz and Blofeld keep silent as the women chatter away about various topics when the cars show up. Elisa schedules a shopping date for herself and Nora without the two men.

             “Be sure to keep an eye on that one,” she nods at Schultz. “He can be just as devious as my Ernst.” Nora slips her arm into Schultz’s as the other couple get into the car.

             “Believe me, I’m aware of that.”

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Who would you fancast for Daemon Blackfyre and Daeron II? I looked through your tags & only saw your fancasts for Aegor, Shiera, and sort of Bloodraven (but we can all say Max von Sydow was perfectly cast). Very good picks. I would like to know about the others. :)

Hello, anon! The post to which you’re referring also has some fancasts for Rohanne, Daena, and Calla (although I’m not completely pleased with Rohanne’s; and I’ve changed my mind with Calla; please substitute her with Marlo Thomas as the cheerful aspiring actress Ann Marie in That Girl, gif below).

I actually have some issues with Max von Sydow as Brynden Rivers, but I’ll explain why under the cut since this post is just a fun exercise (these actors are either deceased or too old for these roles now). As for the characters you’ve asked about, I’ve long had trouble with fancasting Daemon because of his nuances and very distinctive look. I don’t want to just cast Orlando Bloom/Henry Cavill for all these warrior Targaryens, but rather pick someone I think could convey his personality. So if I had to choose:

Robert Redford at his peak in the 60s/70s I think would be the real life equivalent of Daemon Blackfyre, in that his name was used by people in his generation to mean “a man so handsome even The Guys Want Him” (Eustace Osgrey and Dunk both notice how attractive he is, and Dunk only sees his face on a coin). He was a blond, blue-eyed all-American hero equally prominent in romance as in action/adventure, but without the rough edges of a Marlon Brando. Redford was from the New Hollywood era that sprung up following the repeal of the Hays Code, and consequently characters tended to have more explicit nuance. With Redford, his most prominent roles weren’t cookie cutter good guys in the vein of the Hays Code films, even though he was still the character the audience would root for (this is how I see Daemon, as having character flaws but ultimately a better man than the rest of the story’s main male characters): as a spendthrift con artist swindling a violent mob boss (The Sting), or a perpetual outlaw on the run from US marshals (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), or even a skilled writer whose lack of political and moral convictions causes him to lose the woman he loved (The Way We Were). I chose this .gif of The Way We Were because Redford plays the effortlessly talented, socially-adept WASP writer opposite Barbra Streisand’s determined, headstrong Jewish antiwar activist who pushes him to take writing seriously and puts principles over romance; I think that story could fit Daemon and Rohanne (except Daemon and Rohanne do work things out by the end, whereas Hubbell and Katie drift apart). I still have some doubts about this casting, but at this point I’m just relieved I could name one actor who has some Daemon Blackfyre essence.

Daeron II’s fancast and a few surprise casts under the cut:

Donald Pleasence is one of the greatest characters actors of all time (I chose this .gif because he doesn’t have a beard here, and Daeron II was clean shaven). Being shorter than average and prematurely balding meant he didn’t fit Hollywood’s image of a leading man (just like Daeron didn’t fit Westerosi ideals of a martial king), but he used his icy blue eyes and sonorous voice in his portrayal of some of the most iconic characters in popular culture (original Blofeld in You Only Live Twice and original Dr. Loomis in the Halloween franchise). Since he allegedly never turned down a role he was offered, he was in some of the greatest movies ever made and some of the worst, but each time he gave a solid performance. He could make some of the stupidest dialogue ever recorded (1980’s Pumaman) sound sensible and even menacing, which would be an assert for portraying a character with as many contradictions as Daeron II seemed to have. Despite playing many villains, Pleasence also portrayed some heroes or mentors, but always with an intensity of a character that would cross boundaries (no surprise, he was a huge fan of Sir Laurence Olivier). All told, Pleasence is an actor who I think could’ve brought some interesting gravitas and unique charisma to a character I believe on paper lacks both.

Now for some bonuses:

Late 70s/early 80s Orson Welles as Aegon IV fits so well I wouldn’t be surprised if GRRM had him in mind when inventing his appearance (obvious Henry VIII parallels notwithstanding). Most people know Welles as the director and star of 1941 Citizen Kane or the narrator of the 1938 “The War of the Worlds” radio drama that caused a mass panic in the audience, but he had a long career after that (he died 5 days after he completed voice work for Unicron in 1986’s The Transformers: The Movie, incidentally part of one of my favorite franchises). Older Welles was so fond of eating and drinking wine, but so difficult to work with, that director Alexander Jodorowsky essentially bribed him with a Parisian chef to play Baron Harkonnen in a scrapped Dune adaptation. He has Aegon IV’s pointed silvery beard and hair as well as the girth, but is also tall, with a resonant deep voice that scared young children back in the 80s (I imagine that Aegon’s kids and grandkids were afraid of him in his later years). I also like to think Aegon had a charismatic, even learned side that he used to impress women, and I think Welles could pull that off. Aegon IV is a one-dimensional character, more of a device to get the Rebellion plot moving (and attract audience hatred), but if any actor could bring some depth, menace, or even a bit of twisted humor to the role, it could’ve been older Welles.

Bette Davis in All About Eve as Elaena Targaryen is a fancast I’m fond of, maybe because I see Elaena as the jaded older showwoman type who doesn‘t care too much about her romantic life due to her work and has little maternal instinct (and also smokes clove-scented pipes). Davis might not be one of the most physically attractive actresses (although considering I think Kate Hepburn is gorgeous but Wikipedia says she’s “coltishly pretty” what do I know), but she conveys such emotion in her eyes and mouth, or the disdainful way she holds her cigarette; just like Elaena wasn’t the most beautiful Maidenvault princess (although like Davis, she did grow into her looks) and had those same angry eyes. Bette Davis wasn’t afraid to take unsympathetic or even villainous roles at the time of the Hays Code (she even shaved off her eyebrows to play Elizabeth I); she was tough and outspoken, as her epitaph states: She did it the hard way. Margot Channing’s anti heroic character softens a bit toward the end of the film, agreeing to get engaged to a long term boyfriend, and maybe that parallels Elaena’s seeming retirement with Michael Manwoody.

Now for some wank about Brynden Rivers’ casting as Max von Sydow:

I wouldn’t have much problem taken out of context. Max von Sydow is a ruggedly handsome man, with a dignified face and intense stare. It’s understandable why the most beautiful female character in the world was sexually attracted to a character who resembles him. However, there’s nothing in the text that indicates Bloodraven is attractive and a few clues that he isn’t (Dunk calls his birthmark “ugly”, GRRM said he has a “grim and forbidding aspect”). At this point I’d roll my eyes that even the “unattractive Targaryen” is handsome, but then you add Daemon’s (Marvel comic’s Thor) and Aegor‘s (Barry Windsor Smith’s Conan the Barbarian) casting into to the mix and it gets annoying. GRRM stated that Aegor was “handsome in a dark brooding way”, and Daemon is repeatedly said to be so attractive that it’s actually a minor plot point. Neither comic book character model is anywhere near as attractive as Max von Sydow, and this was carried over into Amok’s official artwork for the 3 characters, which GRRM actually approved without comment (except that he considered Daemon “too soft”, rather than anything to do with Brynden or Aegor’s caricature of an angry face). I’m not saying this to be shallow, but it’s another example of how Brynden Rivers isn‘t allowed to be flawed or suffer setbacks, even in the shallow physical sense; just like he’s able to twice duel an exceptional warrior-commander to a standstill despite allegedly preferring the arrow; or being scrawny despite being above average height and capable of drawing 60-80 pounds of draw weight; or continuing to be Hand for decades despite exacerbating major crises; or being allowed to take Dark Sister to the Wall and become Lord Commander despite years of showing he shouldn’t be trusted to lead; he can’t even be physically less handsome than his brothers even when it’s important to the plot. As it is, I’m scratching my head why Daemon is remembered as so attractive and why people are frightened of Brynden’s appearance (Aegor’s appearance isn’t plot relevant, which is a relief because the less I say about angry!emoji!Hagrid the better). GRRM could’ve recommended another comic book character to serve as Brynden‘s face model, or he could’ve kept von Sydow but made Daemon and Aegor’s face models two famous actors—like Robert Redford (famously handsome all American Vice Guy protagonist) and Laurence Olivier (essentially the Byronic Hero/Shakespearean villain king of Hollywood’s Golden Age). As it is, it feels like Brynden is Suetiful All Along—where the text tells us he’s not attractive but he’s shown to be such, and that unattractiveness never stops him from achieving anything—whereas Daemon’s (and Aegor’s to a lesser extent) by contrast is an informed attribute.

Fan wank aside, thank you for being interested enough in my reminiscing about older movie characters to request a sequel post. My ask box is always open, even if I can take some time to respond.

[thealmightyemprex]

I think I have a favorite villain for every Bond ,and I mean EVERY Bond

Barry Nelson- Le Chiffre

Sean Connery- Auric Goldfinger

David Niven- Jimmy Bond AKA Dr Noah

George Lazenby- Earnst Stavro Blofeld

Roger Moore- Francisco Scaramanga

Timothy Dalton- Franz Sanchez

Pierce Bronson - Elecktra King

Daniel Craig - Raoul Silva

[mrleopard25]

James Bond Series Revisited: SPECTRE (2015)

Directed by Sam Mendes

Starring Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Ralph Fiennes, and Léa Seydoux

           Yes, this has taken years to complete, and for that I apologize. In part it was due to me seeing the film during its opening run and then not again until very recently. I like to be fairly familiar with the film before giving it my full thoughts. Also I like hearing what other people had to say, and well...some of it wasn’t so kind. But I’ve also gone through each of the other Bond films in deep analysis so, like Quantum of Solace, maybe I could give the film a better appraisal. Was it terrible? Was it great? Well...

           The film opens on Bond engaging in some good old fashioned espionage in Mexico City, during the Day of the Dead celebrations. Some nefarious types are meeting in a hotel room talking about bombing a stadium, and Bond decides he’s going to assassinate all these guys. They get wise to the attempt at the last second and several explosions later, the block is leveled. But Bond’s target, a man named Sciarra, survives and decides he’s going to escape Bond by the most inconspicuous way he can think of: a helicopter in a crowded town square. Bond’s having none of that, takes his octopus ring, and shoves him out of the helicopter.

           But uh oh – why was Bond even there? That’s what M wants to know because, from his point of view, a vacationing agent demolished a couple city blocks and did some aerial tricks in a helicopter above several thousand people. So M wants an explanation, but Bond gives him nothing. This is especially frustrating, as there is a new centralized intelligence agency, the Joint Intelligence Service headed by a man named C, that wants to merge with MI6 and has made no secret about wanting to shut down the 00 program. Why? Because it’s the future!

           Meanwhile, Bond reveals to Moneypenny that M, the last M, sent him one of those tapes that says “If you’re seeing this, that means I’m dead, so do this because I’m dead.” Unfortunately M has grounded Bond, but Bond also enlists Q to help him out, and soon Bond has gone to Rome to go to Sciarra’s funeral. He makes an acquaintance of Sciarra’s wife, and later that night saves her from assassination. In response, she informs him of where he can take that octopus ring.

           Bond finds himself at a meeting of a clandestine organization engaged in operating terrorist activities around the globe. The leader of the organization notices Bond is there, and soon Bond has to go on the run through the streets of Rome. Based on some word clues, Moneypenny informs Bond that this organization has ties to Mr. White. Bond tracks him down to a remote cabin where he finds the man dying. Bond gets some information about this organization, SPECTRE, and their involvement in global affairs. White makes Bond swear to protect his daughter, then commits suicide.

           Bond finds his daughter, Madeline Swann, as a doctor in a special treatment clinic in the mountains. He reveals her father’s fate and her role in this, and she spurns him. On his way out, he bumps into Q, who is feeling chagrinned at working with Bond illegally. Bond gets Q to identify some DNA samples on the ring (not sure why they’re there), and we get links to all the previous Craig movie. More on that later.

           SPECTRE tries to abduct Swan and a long chase sequence ensues. After recovering Swann, she takes Bond to a hotel that White used to take his family to, as Bond believes White left information there. Bond tears the room apart, and eventually finds a hidden room that contains information detailing Quantum / SPECTRE activities, including coordinates to a secret base in the Sahara.

           Travelling there by rail, Bond and Swann get to know each other a little better, but this is interrupted by Hinx, a SPECTRE assassin, who nearly succeeds in killing them both. After finishing him off, the pair arrive at the SPECTRE base where they are confronted by the leader, Franz Oberhauser – the son of the man who took Bond in after the death of Bond’s parents. Oberhauser killed his father and staged his own death, and has lay hidden as SPECTRE’s leader, calling himself Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Blofeld lays out his objective in overseeing the new global intelligence community, and how C is one of his agents. He then decides to torture Bond by drilling into his brain. Luckily, Bond has an exploding watch that allows him to escape and destroy the compound.

           Returning to the UK, Bond meets up with the remains of the 00 program: M, Tanner, Q, and Moneypenny.  Their goal is to dismantle the intelligence network before it is activated, and time is running out. Unfortunately, Blofeld kidnaps Swann and keeps  her tied up in the old MI6 headquarters, which are rigged to blow. The former MI6 teams now has a limited amount of time to stop Blofeld, C, and SPECTRE.

           So SPECTRE isn’t a bad movie. If anything, it’s biggest flaw is that it follows Skyfall. But it’s also not a great film, and I’m pretty sure it boils down to the script. Sam Mendes returns to directing, but we’re missing the fantastic cinematography of Roger Deakins, and he is sorely missed. Not to say that Hoyte van Hoytema is a bad DOP; certainly his work on Interstellar and Dunkirkwas fantastic, but there was something visually stylistic that was missing, and this film just feels like it was filmed as a normal action film.

           But on to the script. There are some things taken as granted in the script that rub people the wrong way, myself included. First is that we had a build up in the first two Craig films about an organization called Quantum, that was clearly supposed to be the reboot’s version of SPECTRE at the time. And I was fine with that. It seemed to have the same goals and methods, but be updated for the 21st century. Now we learn that Quantum was really taking orders from SPECTRE this whole time. That could have been an interesting development, if it made sense. But it doesn’t. It only really seems to be done because Blofeld has an anger-boner for Bond. For the fourth movie in a rebooted franchise, having Blofeld be the evil mastermind behind all of it just because he has daddy issues is not good enough for me.

           Second are the leaps in logic that serve only to move the story. I really didn’t know how Bond located White’s cabin so quickly. There’s a reference that the Pale King is actually Mr.White, and he was last spotted in some certain place, and then we cut to Bond finding this remote outpost. The average audience member might forgive this, but I found it nonsensical in how fast it happened.

           Very glaring is C, played by Andrew Scott (perhaps best known as Moriarty in the BBC Sherlock series). Nobody was fooled by his betrayal, and I think the story would have been better served by this being a genuine surprise that he was working for SPECTRE. I don’t want to denigrate Scott as an actor, but I really feel that he was cast because he has such a sinister presence, not because it would service the story.

           And finally is a scene at Blofeld’s Sahara compound where we get a twist on the cliché. Blofeld goes to explain his whole evil plan to Bond, but Bond just explains it to him instead. Blofeld kind of nods and smiles, and basically says “Yeah you got it.” Now, I am completely for us bypassing this cliché, but the way it was written, it seemed more like the movie was getting impatient with itself.

           I don’t want to harp on the film too much, because it’s certainly far from the worst in the franchise. And although it’s easy to only focus on the things you don’t like in the movie, we shouldn’t forget the good stuff.

           Right at the beginning of the film, we get a great long shot of travelling through Mexico City, which must have included some fantastic trickery, including getting on and off cranes and going through false walls. That whole opening sequence is pretty stellar. This is then paired with an unfortunate credit sequence which borders on uncomfortable the entire time. Apparently Radiohead was involved at some point to do the opening theme but this fell through. The song, “SPECTRE”, is a dark and moody piece with some moments of levity, but has a very grand and sweeping cinematic feel to it (and fits in amazingly with the “A Moon Shaped Pool” tracks they were working on at the time). The replacement, “The Writing’s On The Wall” by Sam Smith is too much for me. The verses work all right, but then he keeps hitting this painful falsetto in the chorus. Meanwhile some of the imagery is great, but then we get some nutty allusions to tentacle porn. It’s a shame, because the title sequence is always a golden opportunity to set the stage for the film.

           We are given some interesting questions at this point, and that is: what is the role of the 00 program in the 21stcentury? Skyfall gave us a pretty good answer about using raw tools against advanced technology, but this film picks up that thread by asking what if the good guys have that advanced technology? Do we still need the blunt instruments? C brings up a good point – why use assassins when it’s more effective to destroy their reputation and limit their resources? Don’t make them a martyr, and instead let them fade into obscurity. Remove their power. We do see this with White. He wasn’t killed at the end of Casino Royale, while he was a powerful and influential man, and was allowed to degrade into a recluse with very little standing. Sadly, we really don’t get much discussion about this topic, as the movie goes through the same motions as the last few, wherein the blunt instrument Bond just blows everything up and wins.

           Continuing on the theme of technology, watch this film against an older Bond film, and the filmmakers made a logical and interesting use of cell phones. Sometimes you’ll watch a film and if it’s an older film, you are chagrinned that so many of the issues that could be solved with a quick call on a cell phone, or if it’s a newer film you might be shouting at the screen to make a quick phone call and fix the issue. This film does not have this issue, as it uses the technology of the day appropriately.

           There are a few chase sequences in this film, and those are Bond staples, but the real task was to make them interesting and compelling. And it’s successful! These were great chases with some inventive ideas, and even a way to incorporate some useful information via a phone call with Moneypenny thrown in.

           My final point I want to touch on is casting, and this is the most complicated issue. Daniel Craig continues to really seize the role of Bond and own it. The screenwriters and Craig continue to develop the psychological destruction of Bond was a sure treat. After Bond has demolished the suite at the hotel, we see him devolve into a drunk just barely hanging on to sanity. He is used to being an unstoppable force, and when that doesn’t seem to be the answer, he begins to lose cohesion with his psyche. Seeing the mouse scuttle on the floor, a weak animal that lives under cover of darkness, amuses him and challenges him – especially when it gives away the location of the room. Going on with that thought, whenever we see Bond lose composure, it can make the scene gripping.

           The supporting cast are mostly very good. Fiennes is an excellent M in this film, and Harris as Moneypenny has the type of relationship with Bond that we expect, in that it borders on romantic, but never gets going. But it’s more realistic than the condescending / paternal relationship that the Bond / Moneypenny relationship danced in the original run. Bautista as Mr. Hinx is brutal. As with his other roles, he conveys a real presence while on screen and his punches look like they hurt. There is a raw masculinity and physicality in his motions, and it really creates an impression. Naturally the fight scene on the train is reminiscent of the fight with Red Grant in From Russia With Love. That has to be one of the best homages.

           Christoph Waltz delivers despite some pretty bad dialogue given to him. His allusion to Bond as a cuckoo chick, with him making cuckoo noises to taunt him are a little grating and not at all sinister. Where Waltz delivers is in his mannerisms and the cold in his eyes, and he has such amazing potential to really develop further as Blofeld. Again though, his character is undermined by the lackluster motivation of daddy issues.

           Also, during the big SPECTRE meeting, we get a call back to previous SPECTRE members in the last run with two characters who seem to be visual callbacks to Klebb and Mr. Big. I actually had to double check IMDb to see if the characters had actually been named that.

           But now for the elephant in the room: Léa Seydoux as Swann. I haven’t seen Seydoux in anything else, so I really am not qualified to give a review of her as an actor in general (although apparently she was good in Blue Is The Warmest Colour). And it is not without precedent to have a French girl in a Bond film. But there’s two ways in which her character portrayal lets the film down, and I’m not sure if its her fault or Mendes’. The first is that she has no chemistry with Craig. I don’t at any point buy their relationship, either romantically or sexually. There is no fizzle between them. There was something really serious and real with Eva Green in Casino Royale. And secondly is her stoicism with her father. I never really came away with the sense of her emotional state towards her father, and that should have been a major component of her character. She should have extremely complex feelings towards him. She should love him dearly but have an anger at him for bringing so much death and destruction into her life. It should drive her character.

           Okay, so let’s break this film down.

Mission Completed?

           Bond was grounded after failing to have a vacation. He received an unofficial mission near the end to stop the launch of Nine Eyes, the global intelligence network. The MI6 team really kind of did it all together to be honest.  

Dastardly Scheme

           So by using a subsidiary organization, Quantum, SPECTRE has been achieving two goals: one to slowly convince world governments to reconcile their intelligence services into one network, and the second to slowly convince the British government that the MI6 agency (in particular the 00 program) is obsolete and to disband it.

           SPECTRE mostly succeeded, but was undermined by Blofeld’s endless pursuit of Bond.

Best Buds

           The entire MI6 team stands behind Bond and helps him out whenever they can. Naomie Harris continues in her support of Bond as Moneypenny, being a reliable source of information to keep him moving. Ben Whishaw steps up as Q, going into the field to lend forensic aid to Bond, and even getting involved in a chase sequence himself. He really should be more careful out there. Bill Tanner and M also show up at the end to take a hands on approach to stop the Nine Eyes.

The Bad Guy and His Goon

           I already spoke about Christoph Waltz’s cold portrayal of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, a man who uses humour to mask his insane revenge plot and obsession with having eyes everywhere. Waltz is supremely charismatic, even if some of his writing is subpar.

           Dave Bautista plays Mr. Hinx, an assassin who fills a vacancy in SPECTRE for being the go-to for dispatching enemies. Again, I’m a big fan of Bautista, as each role I’ve seen him in is completely unique. He’s strong but funny in Guardians Of The Galaxy, and strong but tragic in Blade Runner 2049. I almost wish we saw more character from him here because his portrayal is just... strong and brutal?

           An interesting take on a villain role is Andrew Scott as C, head of the Joint Intelligence Service, but not because of his portrayal. It’s because he is an antagonist for M, not Bond. His arc revolves around M, and the conflict is with M. It is resolved through M’s actions and confrontations. That’s a welcome addition.

Booty Snatched

           Two again. The first was Sciarra’s wife, Lucia, played by Monica Bellucci. She had been a name floating around the franchise for years but only now has finally landed as a Bond girl. She’s the oldest woman cast in such a role, but you know what? It really doesn’t matter – she absolutely fits the profile. Bond gives her a contact to help her get out of the country and into safety and... hey what happened with that? Did she make it?

           The second was with Swann, after they dispatch Hinx. Apparently there is no bigger turn on than barely surviving a big sweaty fight. Well...and her dress.

Baddies Dispatched

           An astounding 31 killed by Bond, a strong percentage of which during his escape from the SPECTRE compound.

Gadgets Trashed

           Bond dumps his car into a canal in Rome, after exhausting all the bonus options. He then hijacks a plane to chase down Swann’s kidnappers, and thoroughly demolishes it. And finally his watch explodes spectacularly. I would actually be really hesitant to wear something with that much yield on my wrist.

It Goes BOOM

           Eight explosions, including an absolutely spectacular fireball in the middle of the Sahara.

You Misogynistic Pig

           I realize as someone who must use every tool at his disposal to save the world, this falls in line with Bond’s objective, but it still feels really slimy that he immediately sets his sights on, follows home, and seduces Lucia on the day of her husband’s funeral.      

White Man’s Burden

This is a weird one. While this film was being made, there were no such Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico as depicted in the film. It’s really reminiscent of  Carnival in Brazil with Day of the Dead imagery thrown in but apparently Mexico City was so enamored with the idea of it, it’s actually become a real celebration in this manner in recent years.

Best Line

           “Your word?! The word of an assassin?!” White is incredulous that Bond is promising anything, much less protecting someone.

Worst Line

           “He’s everywhere – everywhere! He’s sitting at your desk, he’s kissing your lover, he’s eating supper with your family!” White, during the same scene, trying to beef up how scary a villain Blofeld is. It’s too hammy and making Blofeld sound like a metaphysical demon stalker isn’t intimidating, it’s a cartoon.

Bond Moment

           During a fight scene at the clinic, one of the security guys gets up and approaches Bond. Bond gives him a look, raises his hand and says “No! Stay!” The man immediately obeys, probably seeing it’s not worth the trouble.

Special Awards:

Another Number:

           Bond’s car (Aston Martin DB10) was to be reassigned to 009, who apparently has questionable tastes.

Scrooge McDuck’s Heir:

           Blofeld is so rich, he has a massive compound in the middle of the Sahara desert with a fully landscaped and maintained yard, that is fully staffed with enough supplies to easily sustain at least a hundred people, with the most cutting edge technology at their disposal.

Worst Spy Ever:

           When M is grilling Bond at the beginning of the movie about why Bond just blew up Mexico City, it is painfully obvious Bond is lying which forces M to ground him, hindering his objective. Bond really should have brought M in on it – the last film already established Bond could trust him.

    Lately there’s been a question as to whether or not we still need to have the Bond franchise, and what it should look like. “Why can’t Bond be a black man?” some say. Others press on and say “Why can’t Bond be a woman?” And it’s really hard to argue against that when you have mediocre movies as evidence.

    And that’s what this film is: an average Bond film at best. The film fails in its script and execution, but succeeds in some of its themes, acting, and quiet moments. So what do I think about radically changing the Bond franchise? I’m really against it, but hear me out.

    Bond is a depiction of toxic masculinity. He’s an embodiment of it. Those who glorify him as someone to aspire to miss the point entirely. When Bond films are done well, we get the image of a man who can not hold himself together when he has time to himself. So he perpetually endangers his life. The irony is he hates his job. He drinks himself to numb his pain at having love only once, and having that love taken away from him by his work. He uses people for his ends, and his ends are the tool of a government he’s not even that attached to.

    The best Bond films explore this. Even this film shows some of it, in that scene at the hotel with the mouse. Bond is a man who needs to be in control at all times, but drinks himself stupid. He is a white male because he is the worst of the white males. He’s a killer, a tool by a higher power playing by old rules, a man who does not value life, he hates every minute of it, but he will never leave it. The end of this film shows him and Swann leaving together, but that’s part of what makes this movie so unsatisfying – it’s not a logical end point and seems tacked on.

    The Bond films aren’t glorifying the lifestyle; they’re a warning. At least... they should be.

2.5 / 5

[movieexpert1978]

Bitter Rivals

anon:  Elisa and Blofeld have a massive fight and break up. Many years later Blofeld is attempting to take down a competitive organization who is threatening to overthrow him, only to discover that Elisa herself is behind all of it. She struggles between her feelings for him and where her loyalties lie. You can decide what happens next!  

@wingsy-keeper-of-songs gave a few more ideas and now King Schultz is in the story too along with her own OC Nora. Thank you!! 

You’re not going.” He stated.

“What do you mean I’m not going?” She snapped.

“I said you’re not going. It’s too dangerous.”

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately.” She muttered.

“Excuse me for caring about your well-being.”

“Oh bullshit Ernst! It’s been three months since you’ve let me go out into the field. What the fuck is going on?” She argued.

“I don’t want you going out there.” He said calmly looking right at her.

“Why? Do you think I can’t do anything a male agent can’t?”

“It’s not about male or female, you know that. I’m trying to protect you because I love you.” She frowned at him, not really buying into his answer.

“You’re not protecting me…you’re controlling me.”

“Elisa, don’t start with that.”

“Why, because you know I’m right?”

“I’m not trying to control you.” He insisted.

“Yes you are. You haven’t let me do anything in I don’t know how long. You just don’t want me to make it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I see you as my equal.”

“If you did, you would let me do my job.” She nearly growled.

“Stop acting like a child. I told you I’m trying to protect you!” He snapped finally rising his voice.

“You’re fucking lying Ernst! I’m not blind. I’m done with this!” She shouted. She ran to the bedroom, grabbed a bag and started to collect her things.

“Elisa, stop. I’m not lying.” He went to reach for her but she pushed him away.

“I’m done with this Ernst! I’m not going to be your trophy anymore.”

“You know I never thought of you that.” He pleaded.

“I don’t care anymore. I’m leaving and I’m going to make my own name.”

“You know you can’t do that without my help.” He smirked.

“Fuck you…Franz! I don’t want your fucking help anyway.” She zipped up her bag and hurried out.

“Good, I wasn’t going to fucking give to you anyway.” He shouted after her and he barely flinched when she slammed the door shut.

Xxxxxxx

Eight Years Later

Ernst looked through the pictures of the recon mission he had given out. Most of the pictures were nothing special, just cars and locations, but when he got towards the end he froze. He stared at the picture as his hand trembled and his eyes nearly filled with tears. This explained so much now. Spectre was hurting badly with agents falling left and right. Ernst needed a name, he needed something on this new rival and now he found it. He made a call to set up arrangements for a meeting and he could only hope it would work.

Two days later he had his meeting on neutral ground and he couldn’t believe how nervous he was. Of course he had men stationed around as he suspected his contact would too. His heart was pounding when the contact came into view and when they saw him they froze too for a moment before they came forward.

“Ernst.”

“Elisa.”

They stared at each other for a moment trying to gain hold of their feelings. She had an older man with long hair and a beard next to her looking well dressed in a grey suit. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously at him. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

“What do you want?”

“To be honest at first I wanted to kill you because you’re threatening my business, but now…perhaps we might be able to come up with a partnership.” He explained calmly.

“I suppose that could be beneficial, but you have to agree to my terms though.”

“Of course.” He nodded. He had aged well as his hair was still that familiar dirty blonde but his eyes…Something must have happened because he had a scar over his right eye. He did look tired too. To him she looked just as beautiful as ever. Her blue eyes were vibrant and her brown curly hair was down and looked shiny. “You show me mine I’ll show you yours?” He suggested.

“Something like that, just give me a few days.” He pulled out a card and handed it to her.

“Here, this is how you can contact me.” She nodded as she took the card and put it in her pocked.

“I’ll be sure to work on it quickly. I know you aren’t exactly patient.”

“Things change Elisa. I can wait.”

Xxxxxxxxxx

“You’ve been quiet all night.” King said as he found her in her study.

“Just thinking.”

“I know you better than that.” He smirked as he came over and pulled her into a kiss. She weakly returned it, giving him a puzzled look. “I know something’s wrong.” He insisted. “Tell me fraulein…don’t make me get Nora in here too.” He teased.

“No, don’t bring her into this. Hell I don’t even want to bring you into this.”

“Why?”

“Because Ernst is…” She started and couldn’t get the words out as her eyes got blurry.

“He was the one…before me.” King started.

“Yes, Ernst is my ex, among other things.”

“You still love him.”

“No I don’t. He didn’t want me to thrive.”

“Maybe he was trying to protect you?” King suggested cautiously.

“He said that too.” She said rolling her eyes. She walked out of the study and grabbed a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass.

“I don’t blame him. I want to protect you too.” King whispered as he rubbed her sides.

“You’re my bodyguard. I pay you to do that.” She chuckled.

“I know, but I also love you.”

“I love you too…both of you.” She said quietly. Still, King could sense something was still troubling her.

“May I ask you something personal?”

“Sure.”

“You still love him don’t you?” Elisa bowed her head and her shoulders shook a little as she started to cry. King was quick to pull her in close and kiss her temple.

“I never stopped…it’s been eight years and I’ve always missed him. Yes, I still love him.” She answered her voice cracking.

“It’s ok.” King whispered rubbing her back.

“I’m not leaving you and Nora. I could never do that after all we’ve been through. I just need to take it slow with him before I let him get more involved with us…if you’ll have that.” She spoke wiping her eyes.

“That’s the point of an open relationship Elisa. All I ask is for you to be careful.” He said caressing her face. She only nodded and he could see her eyes were full of distraction so he leaned in and tenderly kissed her. “Come to bed, I’m pretty sure Nora is almost done with her shower.” King said taking her hand. Despite the comfort of her lovers Elisa couldn’t sleep very well and ended up sneaking out of bed and wrapped herself up in a blanket on the couch. She started at the glowing embers of the fireplace as she heard footsteps.

“Elisa?” Nora called out still half-asleep.

“I’m sorry Nora, did I wake you?” Elisa said looking up.

“No, just woke up on my own and saw you missing.” She said sitting down and sneaking under the blanket. Elisa shivered slightly as Nora started kissing her skin. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting strange tonight.” She mumbled.

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Oh I know you better than that. Come on you can tell me.” Nora pleaded.

“I ran into someone I haven’t seen in eight years.” Elisa explained.

“Oh…you’re upset?”

“A little bit, yeah.” She nodded.

“I’m sorry baby.” Nora said as she rubbed her body and snuggled up to her. “Hey…is it your ex?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I already told you.”

“Tell me again please?” Nora asked sweetly.

“A lot of things happened. We let our egos get into the way and we had a horrible fight. I left and never looked back.” Elisa said quietly.

“Will I meet him?”

“Not any time soon?”

“Can you tell me his name?”

“Ernst…his name is Ernst.”

Xxxxxxxx

Three days later Elisa arranged a meeting in a more private location. She handed him her touchscreen for her terms and Ernst looked them over.

“I’m surprised you’re not asking for more.” He said.

“You know me. I’m not that greedy.” He only nodded before he handed her touchscreen back. He also reached at his desk and handed her a flashdrive.

“What’s this?”

“My acceptance of your terms and my end of the deal.” He said calmly.

“Oh…thank you.” She said taking the drive.

“I was wondering if we could talk in private?” Ernst asked, glancing over at King, who narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“King it’s ok. Take this.” She said giving him the drive. He only nodded as he slowly and reluctantly left the room. “He won’t go far.”

“I thought as much.” Ernst said as he cautiously came closer.

“Who is he?”

“I would have thought you would have done your homework already?”

“No, I wanted to do this the right way.”

“King Schultz is my bodyguard. He used to be a bounty hunter and that’s how I found him. He’s an amazing shot and don’t act too surprised if he threatens to kneecap you at some point. He does that everyone.” She laughed. Ernst inched closer to her and she came right up to him and caressed his face. “What happened?” She whimpered out. She didn’t want to sound hurt, but seeing the scar on his face just upset her too much.

“Bond…an exploding watch no less.” He smirked bitterly. “It was a lot worse. I was blind in this eye, but I got a transplant and some plastic surgery to try and work on the scar too.” He explained.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” They leaned in closer until he finally made the move and kissed her. She didn’t pull away and she was surprised he didn’t pull his usual stunt of pushing her into the wall. Instead he kept the kiss tender as his hands held her close. “I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered.

“I missed you too.” She cried quietly. They just held each other for the longest time, not wanting the moment to end, but they eventually had to pull away.

“I have so much to tell you.” He smiled bitterly.

“Me too.”

“I never stopped thinking about you. At first I was angry at you like an idiot, but as time went on I just…I turned into the bitter old man you always teased me about.” He sighed. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I was so afraid to lose you but I did it anyway. I’m sorry.” He rasped breaking down.

“I’m sorry too. I was being so stubborn I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.” She cried. “I’ve missed you much. I still have it too.”

“Have what?” She pulled a chain off from her neck to reveal the silver Spectre ring he had given her all those years ago.

“You kept that?”

“I couldn’t throw it away. I tried too, but I could bring myself to do that.” She said putting the necklace back on. He kissed her again and this time he pushed her into the wall as she moaned for him. “Ernst…”

“Sorry…I’m getting a head of myself.” He said backing away.

“It’s alright…I’m not going to lie, but I missed that too.” She blushed making him chuckle. “There’s something else I have to tell you.” He nodded for her to continue. “I’m in a relationship with King and his girlfriend.” He blinked in surprise before he nodded.

“I understand.”

“We’re in an open relationship.”

“What…oh…oooooh.” He said as he finally understood. “What does that mean for us…that is if you want to do anything?” He said quickly.

“Of course I do. I want to take it slow though. I want to protect them.”

“I would never hurt them.”

“I know you wouldn’t it’s just with Spectre and all and with my business now. I don’t want to put them through any unnecessary drama. They’re happy together and I just want to protect them…just like you were trying to protect me.” She explained.

“I went about it the wrong way.”

“It’s ok Ernst. That was eight years ago. I’d like to think that we’ve matured a little bit.” She chuckled lightly.

“Yes I agreed.”

“What about you?”

“You know I don’t have anyone else. I never wanted anyone else but you. I did try and move on, but it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t really connect with anyone.”

“I’m sorry Ernst.”

“It’s not your fault. It happened and we both had to deal with consequences.” He stated.

“There is one more thing I want to ask you.”

“Anything.”

“Would you like to have dinner sometime…just me and you?”

“I would love that.” He smiled. She gave him a gentle kiss before she started to leave.

“I’ll call you tonight and we’ll figure it out ok?”

“I would like that very much.”

“Auf wiedersehen.”

“Auf wiedersehen.”

Xxxxxxxxxx

He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. His heart was pounding all over again. Dinner was almost ready and Elisa would be coming in any minute. He nearly jumped when there was a knock at the door and a guard opened it. His eyes went wide when he saw her as she came up to him with King at her side. She was wearing a black velvet dress that bared her shoulders and she still wore her spectre ring in a necklace.

“What are you staring at?” She teased.

“You look beautiful.” He answered.

“Ok, some proper introductions here. King Schultz this is Ernst Stavro Blofeld.” She said. Both men stuck out their hands and shook properly.

“I won’t be staying, but I won’t be far. Don’t make me kneecap you I’m a good shot with a sniper.” King stated.

“Got it.” Ernst nodded. Elisa patted his shoulder with a laugh as he gave her a quick kiss before he left.

“See I told you.”

“He seems nice.” Elisa came up to him and gave him a kiss and he held her tightly. “I’m sorry, but I’m scared to let you go.”

“Me too, but give it time Ernst. Just give it time.” She said tenderly. He nodded as he led her to the table. Before he sat her down he gave her another kiss.

“I’m just so happy you’re here.”

“Me too Ernst…me too.”   

[furederiko]

Time for November's 1st Random-News-Digest! And specially released on November 17th, 2017... despite being several hours late. LOL.

(Images courtesy of Nintendo, Warner Bros, 20th Century FOX, Square Enix, and The Pokemon Company/GameFreak. Taken from Official Trailers and/or Official Sites)

Super Mario Bros

Hold on to your Yoshis, because Mario Mario is coming back (yes, after that dreadful live action attempt in 1993) to Hollywood. This time, in an animated movie created by Illumination. If the report is to be believed, then Nintendo will be partnering with Universal to produce and release this movie. In case you live under a rock and doesn't know Illumination, that's the studio in charge of the "Despicable Me" and "The Secret Life of Pets" series. I know what you're thinking, I can already see the Toads being treated as the new Minions. LOL.

This project is said to be just in early stages, so it might take a few more years before it is ready for release. The average process to develop a big screen animated movie takes roughly 3 to 5 years, so if the deal moves on this month then we can expect the movie to arrive in... 2020. Which is the year of the Japan Olympics!!! Aaaaah, I see what you did there Nintendo. Honestly, I'm not expecting much of this project. As long as it's as entertaining as SONY's "The Angry Birds Movie", and unlike those numerous dull live action attempts... then I'll be okay. I'm pretty much sold by the word ANIMATED anyway, because forcing a live action adaptation to Mario and Luigi would be... a HUGE NO.

Metal Gear Solid

Now for this one, I'm... NOT so sure. Not just because I'm not big on KONAMI's "Metal Gear Solid" franchise as a game, but because it's live action. And we all know there's an eerie curse looming over live action adaptations for video games title. Look no further than "Assassin's Creed"... among many others.

The good news is, Derek Connolly is writing the script, and Jordan Vogt-Roberts is directing. The former has worked on "Jurassic World" and "Star Wars", while the latter is determined to make a watchable video game movie. LOL. Vogt-Roberts is most definitely a unique and seemingly fun guy, I'll give you that. This pair has worked together creating "Kong: Skull Island", which was an entertaining movie. Hmmm... now that I think about it, the whole espionage Special Forces theme would be somewhat similar to what Vogt-Roberts did in that King Kong movie. I genuinely think he actually CAN pull this off! Let's just hope the project moves on to higher stages, and not fizzles out like... it has always been.

Disney Animation

This was actually a news from last month. Yeah, I got pretty caught up with many personal ordeals, that I've completely missed out on mentioning this movie on my previous R-N-D. "Gigantic", Disney's version of the classic "Jack and the Beanstalk" story had been cancelled.

Said news was quite startling, considering the title was still part of their D23 Event... even if it was in a very minor way. It also has been in development by co-directors Meg LeFauve and Nathan Greno for quite some time, with a fixed 2020 release window. 'Creative process' was mentioned as reason for its cancellation, with Walt Disney and Pixar Animation Studio president Ed Catmull calling the movie as 'not working'. The studio has moved on to another original project, that is expected to open in Thanksgiving 2020. Will we be getting another Disney Princess movie, following last year's "Moana"? Here's hoping. For now, the studio still has "Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2" set to open on November 21st, 2018, and the sequel to their hit title "Frozen" on November 27th, 2019. We can still look forward to those ones...

Disney Live Action

The live action department also hit a bump. Director Sam Mendes has departed his live action re-telling/adaptation for "Pinocchio". This is the second time he has walked out from a Disney project, with "James and the Giant Peach" being the first one. There's a rumor that Mendes might be moving to the franchise he worked on before, but that's the topic for a different category.

It's unclear if Disney will continue to work on this title by finding another director, or take a completely different approach and shelves it like what they just did to "Gigantic". Right now, two titles that are in active production is Guy Ritchie's "Aladdin", and Jon Favreau's "The Lion King" that will open on July 19th, 2019. If I'm not mistaken, Niki Caro's "Mulan" is still in pre-production, along with other titles.

We can also add a new title "Prince Charming", that is set to be written and directed by Stephen Chbosky. Chbosky is famous for his recent work "Wonder" that is set to be released this weekend, as well as the critically acclaimed "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". As the title suggests, it will focus on a young Prince and all the struggle he faces to live up to the family name. Of course, since the name Prince Charming typically refers to the one from... "Snow White" and/or "Cinderella", I can't help but wonder if this will be connected as prequel or some sort to either. It doesn't sound like it, but who knows, right? Let's just wait for more information in the near future...

Star Wars

Remember the time when many people speculated Rian Johnson would take over Collin Trevorrow's directorial seat for the tentatively titled "Star Wars - Episode IX"? Lucasfilm had expressed positive response to the director, and he himself was genuinely excited, giddy, and extremmely passionate about his love to experience in the franchise. It felt like a sure if not most plausible thing. But then we all knew that didn't happen, because it's J.J. Abrams instead who returned for the job.

But why didn't Johnson take the movie? Surprise surprise, turns out, he has other BIGGER project planned... for the franchise. Yes, he's not leaving the franchise anytime soon. Lucasfilm indeed had a great mutual time with Johnson, that they not only want him to work on another "Star Wars" movie, but to set up an entirely NEW non-Skywalker trilogy for them! The word 'bigger' would be an understatement now, right? He will be writing and directing at least the first one of this trilogy, while long time collaborator Ram Bergman is producing.

We can safely assume that this means the Skywalker-focused storyline will be wrapped up in "Episode IX", and afterwards, we'll be seeing a new route for the franchise in the foreseeable future. This new trilogy might not be episodic in nature, and will introduce entirely new characters from the universe. A "blank canvas" as Kathleen Kennedy said. Many fans have expressed both praises, and approval, as well as concerns, and disapproval for this approach, but if you ask me, I'm welcoming this with open arms. I've never been an avid fan of this space opera before, so this could be my official entry point. Without the need to explore previous movies, that is! LOL. I wonder if this new trilogy will be connected to the newly announced live action TV series?

Of course, this means that his work on "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" has completely left Lucasfilm VERY satisfied. Johnson himself might be REALLY anxious about it (a humble response, by the way), but this is by all means an expression of HIGH confidence from the studio. As evidenced by the departure of Trevorrow, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, and others, they wouldn't give Johnson such massive responsibility if they are not overly pleased collaborating with him. He might be such a good polite and down to earth guy, eh? If you're curious about his work, then you only need to wait a bit longer. "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" arrives in less than a month on December 15th, 2017!

James Bond

Yep, thanks to walking out of the Disney live action project, Sam Mendes has immediately been rumored to direct the untitled "Bond 25". This naturally makes sense. Mendes worked on "Skyfall" and also "Specter", and the next movie might very well be Daniel Craig's last foray. Would be nice to see Mendes returning to deliver Craig's swan song as well as to wrap it up as his final 007 trilogy. Christoph Waltz had stated that he's not coming back as Blofeld though, so I wonder if that might affect Mendes' decision. Sure, Waltz teased that the role could be re-cast, but who can really tell what the future, I mean James Bond holds. Also, MGM announced earlier this month that Annapurna will help bring the franchise to the theatre. Does this mean the studio has won the bidding war? It's unconfirmed for now, but that seems to be the case. Quite surprising too, because it felt like a lesser entity when compared to other bigger names on the mix. But I guess as long as the franchise can still hit theatres, it's a victory for Bond's devoted fans nonetheless.

Dark Universe

Sad to say, this could be the LAST time for this category to be featured in my R-N-D. According to recent report, Universal has pulled the plug on its ambitious Dark Universe. At the very least, it's in critical condition.

All signs have totally led to this. Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" was a big failure that didn't make enough good impression (could you imagine what would have happened had Tom Cruise agreed to play Tony Stark in the first "Iron Man"? Marvel Studios dodged an bullet right there). And then production for Bill Condon's "Bride of Frankenstein" was halted not long after it begun, and the movie had since been removed from the planned release date. None of the other projects like "Invisible Man", "Wolf Man", or some others showed real progress. Next thing that happened, both Alex Kurtzman and Chris Morgan who seem... (or to be precise USED) to be the overseer to this Monster-based universe, have each moved on to other projects. That pretty much sealed the deal, don't you think? For the record, this isn't the first time Kurtzman abandons a cinematic universe. Don't ever forget Paramount's Transformers and also SONY's Amazing Spider-Man series.

Of course, it doesn't mean that the idea is gone for good. Universal can still pull off a soft reboot or some sort, simply by planning more properly before jumping towards another dark waters. President of production Peter Cramer even stated, "We are not rushing to meet a release date and will move forward with these films when we feel they are the best versions of themselves.". This implied that at least, Condon's movie might still become a reality sometime in the future.

I'm personally feeling VERY disappointed to hear this, knowing the probability of seeing Russell Crowe reprising his Dr. Jekyll is now close to zero. I really want to see him 'Hulk Out' and becomes a massive monstrous Edward Hyde... which we didn't really fully get in "The Mummy". But who am I to say, right? All I can say is, I hope Universal will inspire other studios to think ahead and NOT just try to snobbishly copy Marvel Studios' success without analyzing what makes their universe works. Heck, they have even proved that it's never to late to course-correct things. So don't give up Universal, and just do it one step at a time, okay!

DC Films

Uhmm... so yeah, embargo for critics reviews (both social media on November 10th, and full essays on November 14th) for Warner Bros' "Justice League" has been uplifted earlier this week. And well, true to the nature of DC Films (at least its first three movies, with "Wonder Woman" being the not-that-surprising exception), the response is a mixed-bag. Immediately, it has divided critics both fans and non-fans of DC Comics alike with polarizing opinions. Some said that Joss Whedon's clear influence doesn't gel well with the 85% done by Zack Snyder, but others said it worked just fine to elevate the movie. If you visit one entertainment site, you'd likely stumble on a review that paints the movie in a moderate-to-good light by calling it 'Pretty Good', while elsewhere you'll be greeted by review that sees it as bad-to-awful by calling it 'Pretty Bad'. Suffice to say, despite leaning to positive, things do not look completely 'PRETTY' for WB and DC.

By the way, RottenTomatoes deliberately delayed their aggregated score for the movie. My initial assumption when I saw the headline? "Ain't this cheating, huh?". Those who think RT is being paid by Marvel Studios... looks like WB is the one paying them instead, am I right? After all, this studio is infamous for constantly blaming RT for their movies' own critical failures. Of course, despite the fact that WB DOES have a stake in this site (feel free to make your own conclusion with that), that is NOT the actual reason. It's more inline with the site's Facebook show, or something like that. Of course, said score have been officially (it was leaked before hand) released now, and no surprise... as of writing (October 17th, 08:50PM local time), it's currently sitting at 37%. That is already a tad lower than its initial number. YIKES!

General consensus is calling the movie as fun but flawed. A narrative mess, but at least it gets the characters correctly now. An entertaining spectacle, but visually it's ugly and tacky. So at the very least, it's not a trainwreck and is still BETTER than the dreadful "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" nor the abominable snowma-... er, "Suicide Squad".

Ironically, WB tried to be boastfully 'different' three times, and failed miserably. Eventhough, in a way they WERE mimicking or parroting Marvel Studios. Just admit it, "Batman v Superman" was consciously made to rival Captain America 3, and "Suicide Squad" was their version of Guardians of the Galaxy. This year, they blatantly and openly COPY that 'competitor' movies. "Wonder Woman" was an amalgam of the first Captain America with elements of Thor, while "Justice League" is clearly DC's version of the 2nd Avengers. And my oh my, look what they've gotten! Good to POSITIVE responses!!! The morale of the day, if you can't compete, just follow suit. Oh, and also... use talented people who have worked on the opposite side. I mean, duh... Patty Jenkins, Joss Whedon, and Brian Michael Bendis? "Justice League" opens today on November 17th, so let's hope it will perform better financially than critically.

David F. Sandberg's "Shazam!" is moving along nicely as the movie next to be seen after next year's "Aquaman" (to be released in... *drumrolls* December 2018). After casting Disney Prince Zachary Levi as the heroic version, the movie obviously needs the human version, the little kid named Billy Batson. Remember when acclaimed young actor Jacob Tremblay (who similar to his Oscar-winner BFF, deserves BETTER roles) was said to be in contention? Well, the role ended up on young Asher Angel's hand instead. Name doesn't sound familiar? Well... he is one of the leads of "Andi Mack" on... Disney Channel. See? If you can't beat them, snatch their actors too. Grace Fulton is said to be portraying the female lead, and actor Mark Strong was said to be in negotiation to play the antagonist Dr. Sivana... whoever that is. Should he decide to take the job, this would be Strong's second DC character for WB after his short turn as Sinestro.

Interestingly, WB desperately wants this franchise to be noticed. Why is that? Just think about it, the movie is set to open in Spring 2019, so it's going to be released not far behind a particular Marvel Studios movie called... "Captain Marvel". I'm sure you know where I'm leading to with this, right? Yes... because Shazam used to be called by the same name. Coincidence? Highly UNLIKELY. It's another game of chicken by good'ol always-competitive WB (no matter how many try to scoff it off, their rivalry to Marvel is apparently REAL), folks! And a rather ballsy albeit rude one too. I mean for crying out loud, in this kind of political situation that sees a president continuously provoking people to hate a previous female opponent like a sore loser, and numerous reports of mistreatments of women by Hollywood top names... WB wants to use a testosterone-manchild-themed movie to directly challenge a FEMALE-led movie just because the two shared the same name? I call that suicide.

How about Dwayne Johnson's Black Adam then? That character is the nemesis of Shazam, so it's natural if we get to see him too in the movie. But noooope, apparently WB is planning to put him in another movie instead. And surprise surprise, it's not his own solo movie as the studio repeatedly promised, but Gavin O'Connor's "Suicide Squad 2". I literally slapped myself in the face when I read this, because dang it... wasn't it enough to throw a sexist Enchantress, that they just HAD to pit the broken Squad against another supernatural character? This is not confirmed for now, but since the movie still has a long way before starting production in October 2018... let's just hope WB has a more sane way for combining the "Suicide Squad" and "Shazam!" franchise. Hold on... did they just confirm that "Shazam!" is part of the current continuity then? Then I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that... (read: there goes half of my interest in seeing the movie.). I really want this to be its own separate thing, and not boggled in the failed universe. I guess I expected too much too soon, huh?

About "The Batman", there's a hint that Ben Affleck might be stepping out the Matt Reeves movie after all. Though he was singing a different tune during this year's San Diego Comic-Con International, the actor has since been saying a complete opposite. In a press junket for "Justice League" in London, he even openly said that he does NOT know what the future holds. That sounds like a guy who's thinking of gracefully bowing out from the DC Films... as soon as possible. He even mentioned the exact same thing to USA Today not long after. Quite surprisingly, the internet also expressed their agreement to see him leave. Some already even fancasting and speculating a replacement (that one actor, I hope its NOT true). OUUCH! Looks like what once a bright star, is slowly fading away like a comet that visits a solar system every hundred of years. Hmmm... I wonder if Henry Cavill will follow suit after this...

Last but not least, Patty Jenkins' much anticipated "Wonder Woman 2" has vacated its December 13th release date to arrive 6 weeks earlier. CALLED IT! Yep, I knew WB would end up doing this because competing directly with "Star Wars" would be waaaay too risky. I'm just surprised that it took this long for the studio to announce the shift. I guess they were waiting for Marvel Studios to prove that early November is a good spot for comic book adaptation, huh? Don't worry, Gal Gadot is expected to reprise her role, because WB had said that the report of her 'refusal' (originated at PageSix) is NOT true. "Wonder Woman 2" will now open in November 1st, 2019.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Would you look at that?! I can't believe this, but WB has mischievously prepared a contingency plan for the negative response to "Justice League". I assume based on past experiences, WB is aware that critics would still be divisive (no different situation, a bit worse than "Man of Steel" even) about their DC movies, so they immediately releases official synopsis and cast photo for the "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" sequel. Come on, releasing this on the same day the DC ensemble movie is released? Can't be a coincidence. A pretty darn good distraction, if I should add! Not to mention, this comes on the heels of that recently announced Niantic AR game.

The new official title has immediately generated mixed response. After all, "Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald" OBVIOUSLY put the focus on Johnny Depp's villainous character Gellert Grindelwald. It could be a good thing, if his name was still as big as it used to be in the past, but we all know that the world has changed. Thankfully, one character stood out the most among the confirmed cast members. It's none other than Jude Law's young Albus Dumbledore. I must say, he doesn't look the way I expected to be, but I'm definitely not complaining. Hey, a charming dashing Dumbledore would be a great selling point for the new franchise that hasn't been able to be on par with its "Harry Potter"... sequel.

We got FIVE couples now. The four core characters from the first movie are here, hopefully in a bigger and more memorable inclusion. We have Claudia Kim's cursed 'Maledictus' character, who seems to be pairing up with Ezra Miller's Credence and could very well be serving as an antagonist. And then there's Zoe Kravitz's Leta Estrange who is engaged with Callum Turner's Theseus Scamander. Indeed, Theseus is Newt's big brother, so here's hoping Eddie Redmayne isn't sidelined completely and get to showcase actual dramatic involvement in this sequel.

Say what you will about the first movie, but it was surprisingly entertaining enough to make me see more. It might be not at the heights of the "Harry Potter" series, but I'd gladly take this over the DC Films anytime. Directed by David Yates based on a screenplay from J.K. Rowling, this movie is set to arrive precisely one year from now on November 16th, 2018. Aaaah, I get it now.

X-Men Universe

Let's address the elephant in the room first. When we talk about Marvel character owned by 20th Century FOX nowadays, then you should be aware of a recent report that has taken the world by storm. That's right, the House of Mouse Disney is in negotiation to purchase FOX's film and TV division, because the other company wants to focus on news and sport. That literally means, all the movie rights for X-Men and Fantastic Four will be reverted back to Marvel! Yes, every characters from those faction might be returning home in the foreseeable future, because despite the report that talk has ended, the possibility is still very much high. Assuming Comcast or Verizon doesn't suddenly come out of left field and snatches this opportunity instead, of course.

If you ask me how I feel if FOX and Marvel Studios arrange an agreement similar to what the latter did with SONY and Spider-Man? Then I would not hesitate to say "No Thanks". Combining Marvel Studios' movie universe with FOX's sloppy, botched, and well... generally uninspiring one would be a disaster. FOX tend to disregard good characters, and treat them badly more often than not. But if this deal DOES become a reality, then I'd be REALLY happy. That means we WILL be getting the much-needed reboot that the X-Men and Fantastic Four are desperate for, and not just a soft-reboot that producer Simon Kinberg had been boasting out and about... that ended up with his "X-Men: Dark Phoenix". I don't know about you, but Kinberg clearly doesn't know what he is doing, so I want to see him OUT of and AWAY from any Marvel stories for good. Of course, there's a downside to all things. Through FOX movie division, we were able to get more comic adaptations in a yearly basis. Not just that, we also got titles like "Logan" or the upcoming "The New Mutants" that run in R-rated route, one that Marvel Studios or Disney in general would be highly unlikely to explore. That might be an outcome that many fans might be hard to swallow...

Anyways, amidst that rumbling news, Deadpool kept on walking proudly, as if it doesn't care about what would happen to its own crumbling universe. After all, one comment on social media said that Wade Wilson is the only Marvel character who could easily address the change casually without the need to mind its own continuity. Don't forget, this is the guy who is consciously confused which Professor X he should report to. LOL. "The Untitled Deadpool Sequel" (that's the placeholder title, which I hope would be the official title because it just fits the character so much) movie released a holiday-themed first official poster, as well as a Bob Ross inspired second teaser that well... if you ask me, pretty much stole a bit of buzz from WB's movie premiere. LOL.

This teaser suggests that despite the change in director, the movie still retains the same idiosyncratic atmosphere. I'm glad that the returning characters aren't forgotten in this one, and if some people catch this one theory right, we might be getting a rather 'sinister' antagonist as the super villain. WOW. "The Untitled Deadpool Sequel" (I'm still laughing here!) arrives on June 1st, 2018, so if you're a fan of the first movie, make sure you mark your date.

One more thing, would you like to see a movie featuring... a mutant character called "Multiple Man"? Well, James Franco might be starring in one. So whether you want it or not, it's still probably coming in the future. Who's behind this bizarre and preposterous idea? Duuuh... Kinberg of course. Who else? LOL.

SONY Marvel Universe

Situation in the SONY side, is a 'little' different. Not content with "Venom" (showing us a first look of Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock after just 2 weeks of production) and "Silver & Black", the studio is already moving forward with another title. This time, "Morbius the Living Vampire". Earlier this week, it was revealed that the writers of this year's "Power Rangers" Burk Sharpless and Matt Sazama had submitted their script to the studio. The two previously worked on several underwhelming movies like "Dracula Untold" and "Gods of Egypt".

To be honest, I'm actually surprised when I found out that Dr. Michael Morbius belongs to SONY. He's a long time antagonist of Blade, and as far as I know, that character has reverted back to Marvel. Of course, I just discovered that the Roy Thomas and Gil Kane's creation debuted in "Amazing Spider-Man" #101. It makes sense now, because it's almost the same situation to the character Kingpin. Problem is, similar to Venom and other Spider-Man related characters, the BIG question is will these character work without Spidey himself... Or in Morbius case, without Blade? I seriously doubt it. I believe just the fact that these characters will not interact with the ones from Marvel Studios, is already strongly pessimistic. Let's just wait and see if SONY can prove that it DOES have what it takes to jumpstart their own Spidey-less Marvel Universe.

Marvel Studios

Let's talk about "Thor: Ragnarok" first! Eventhough this weekend the movie's might would likely be overthrown by DC's first ensemble movie, Taika Waititi's comedy has managed to at least stay on number 1 for two consecutive weeks. It's making huge money, even more than Chris Hemsworth's first two solo movies. Seriously though, should we even be surprised? This buddy comedy is genuinely FUN and hilarious, and plenty of its memorable scenes will be etched into your brain... forcing you to laugh or giggle whenever the memory strikes. Like a lunatic? Well, if you say so. LOL. Really though, you couldn't see me now but I'm currently cackling upon remembering that... uhm, naked scene. LOL.

By the way, Waititi has openly expressed his desire to make another Thor movie with Hemsworth and Mark Ruffalo. What do you think? Should he get his second Ragnarok movie? If it means we'll get another 'Get Help' moment, or more of Jeff Goldblum's Grandmaster? Waititi might not have a vast or deep knowledge of comic book, but since "Ragnarok" pretty much creates a clean slate for Thor Odinson and the Asgardians... he can pretty much do anything. And I honestly look forward to see that.

Disney has begun campaigning the movie and James Gunn's "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" for Oscar race too. Since many of the Award's regular players have been lambasted with various kinds of sexual misconduct allegations, can we expect members of the Academy to turn towards comic book adaptations now? I certainly hope so. We know that 'Best Visual Effects' and in some cases 'Best Make Up' will be the usual entry, but I sure hope these movies get a chance in other categories too. 'Best Score' or 'Sound Editing' perhaps? I do think Mark Mothersbaugh deserves an appreciation for his work in "Ragnarok".

"Black Panther" is now officially three months away from release! Well, for the US region at least... because several other countries (like yours truly) usually get it earlier. To celebrate this, Marvel Studios have released a batch of single character posters that includes Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa, his royal family members, up to Andy Serkis' Ulysees Klaue. As far as I recall, we haven't had one for Michael B. Jordan's Erik Killmonger... or did I miss anything? The movie also have tested positively in early screenings according to report, so we're in for another Marvelous time. "Black Panther" arrives on February 16th, 2018.

Fans have been actively demanding the D23/SDCC trailer for "Avengers: Infinity War", to the point that people started doing illegal stuff like posting leaked images and all. We got the first look for Proxima Midnight, Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow's new hairdo and costume that resembled another Marvel character, as well as Paul Bettany's Vision and Elizabeth Olsen's Scarlet Witch looking in despair. These pictures are great, but HOW we get them is the morale question here. I'm not particularly fond of this attitude, because it only shows the dark and negative side of fandom.

Obviously there are VALID reasons why Marvel Studios is withholding that trailer, thus is it so hard to just WAIT until it is released officially? The reason can be a simple one, like the need to add quality Visual Effects to it, or a bigger one like... the potential of spoilering other movies. In particular, "Ragnarok" and "Black Panther". I'll use "Ragnarok" for example. Thor's appearance in the trailer shown exclusively last Summer was INCONSISTENT compared to how he ended up in "Ragnarok". In the end of "Ragnarok", we know that he got a 'permanent scar', and he didn't look like that at all in the "Infinity War" trailer. And then there's that scene with Loki holding the Tesseract. Also, Thor ran into a gigantic vessel, that Marvel Studios President has confirmed to be the Sanctuary II. The owner? Josh Brolin's Thanos. See? It's a massive spoiler already. Who knows what kind of secret from "Black Panther" it would spoil in advance!

I personally feel what we all need to know, is that the movie will undoubtedly be HUGE. Like Ruffalo himself hyped stated, it has "all of the Marvel characters in it. All nine franchises. I mean, it’s mind-boggling. Everyone has their moment to shine. Everyone is still their characters.". Feige admitted that even the filming felt overwhelming and surprisingly emotional everyday. And also, that the movie is some kind of a... heist movie? HUH? Yeah, co-directors Joe and Anthony Russo specifically said so to CNET, which honestly made me wonder. They were pretty specific that the heist would be Thanos' play, as he collects all 6 Infinity Stones. Hmmm... let's just stop right here, because now I've become curious to see the trailer. LOL. But nope, I know for sure that I'm going to be watching this movie. At least, ONCE. That's why Marvel Studios can even delay the trailer forever or not release it at all, and I won't mind. Because I don't really need any more convincing to see it.

As far as I know, "Ant-Man and the Wasp" has completed production. I'm not really sure about this though, but I think I did see like some kind of celebration for it on Twitter. Regardless, both Walton Goggins and David Dastmalchian have completed their parts earlier this week. Dastmalchian even gave us a look for Randall Park's Agent Jimmy Woo. Here's hoping we'll be getting a teaser trailer soon.

Laurence Fishburne who would soon be seen as Bill 'Goliath' Foster in the movie, opened up to Collider that because he grew up with Marvel, he actually pitched himself to Marvel Studios! Intriguingly, he also came with several ideas, and has been developing one secretly with Marvel. He hoped that "It’s gonna change the world". Hmmm.... this is intriguing. Fishburne didn't specifically say movie, so it could very well be a comic series, or even a TV one. Something related to Blade perhaps? or some others? Hmmmm...

Recent report by Variety claimed that Ben Mendelsohn has been approached to play the antagonist in "Captain Marvel". If his interview with Collider was any indication, it seems he might have officially come onboard the movie... or at least in final talks. His response reminded me greatly to when Paul Rudd, Benedict Cumberbatch, and also Carol Danvers herself Brie Larson tried to play coy about their roles. These are obviously polite and sincere actors, so they couldn't really hide that big of a secret. Since this is feeling like a dejavu, let's just say we shouldn't be surprised if Mendelsohn ends up antagonist-ing Larson in the movie when it arrives on March 8th, 2019.

This is the last one for the category folks! More SPOILER-ish (as usual, you might want to skip to the next category if you avoid one) information surrounding "Avengers 4" has been flying over the internet. One particular bit teased the reenactment, a flashback, or perhaps a time travel twist involving "The Avengers". Not only because Robert Downey Jr. was spotted wearing the exact same shirt from the 2012 movie, Hemsworth himself posted a photo (with his daughter) wearing a costume precisely from the same movie. Actor Frank Grillo and Maximiliano Hernández were also suspiciously present in Atlanta. Does this mean Crossbones and Agent Jasper Sitwell are alive in the movie? Hmmm. Could we be seeing a reality alteration here? Especially if we consider the ability of the Reality Stone. According to report that can't really be considered credible, these will all be scenes generated by Tony Stark using his B.A.R.F. simulation that we saw in "Captain America: Civil War". To who? Ty Simpkins' Harley Keener, who has been confirmed to appear in the movie. Hmmmm... now I'm really curious about this movie too. But let's just focus on "Infinity War" first, shall we?! One day... I mean one movie at a time.

Marvel TV

Oh hey, Marvel's "Inhumans" has officially ended with its eight episode. I think it was last Friday, if I'm not mistaken. How would I know, if I couldn't even care less about it. Personal preference aside, that means the 5th season of Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." is about to air very soon. And if you're among devoted Marvel fans who are already counting days, then the show has released an official trailer to wet your appetite for this new season.

The trailer was... uhmm, okay I guess? I'm still on the fence to follow this season, so I can't really tell if this manages to persuade me or not. One thing for sure, it's action packed and filled with creepy aliens. It's really nice to see Henry Simmons' Mack and Natalia Cordova-Buckley's Yo-Yo get more presence and involved in more action. We also see bits of the new characters: Jeff Ward's ambiguous Deke, Eve Harlow's Tess, Pruitt Taylor Vince's commander Grill, and Coy Stewart's possible-Nuhuman Flint.

And then there's that confirmed report of Nick Blood returning in some capacity as Lance Hunter. What about Adrienne Palicki's Bobby Morse? Last we heard, she won't be making an appearance due to her tight schedule in the equally space-themed alien-filled "The Orville". That doesn't mean she's not open to reprise her role though, because she has had a great time and is still in touch with the cast. Here's hoping the stars will align somehow, and we get to see her official return in the series. "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." will begin the new season on Friday, December 1st, 2017, with a two-episode premiere entitled "Orientation Part 1 & 2".

Marvel's "Runaways" is set to premiere next week, on November 21st. Its first three episode will hit the streaming platform Hulu on the same day. To prepare for this, Entertainment Weekly has released official posters and banners for each of the six lead characters, while IGN dropped additional ones showcasing their super-powered abilities. They looked neat, and teased the teenager's signature skillset. Currently being praised as the teenage soap-opera side of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, let's just hope that this series attracts enough viewers and good rating to warrant another season.

Meanwhile, Marvel's "New Warriors" has departed Freeform... even before it is even aired. Although Kevin Biegel's 10-episodes first season was initially meant to debut in the network, the pilot was so well-received to the point it attracted several high-level Disney execs. Freeform was unable to set a time slot for this show (I guess they prefer Marvel's "Cloak and Dagger" more?). Thus Marvel Entertainment pulled it out, and has been actively searching for a partner that can launch it next year as planned... as a direct two-seasons package! Surely it won't land on Netflix, given Disney's plan to launch their very own streaming service in 2019. This is just a wild guess, but I think Hulu would end up becoming its new home.

Speaking of Disney's upcoming new service, CEO Bob Iger confirmed that it will feature at least one new Marvel series among others. I wonder what that is? I just hope, and sincerely hope that it is not concerning Kamala Khan's Ms. Marvel. It would be such a waste to utilize that massively popular character in a TV setting, when it would make the most in movie format. She's an Avenger, so she's better of to be with the other members, right? Not to mention, Marvel TV doesn't exactly have a good track record to pull their projects off properly (Inhumans, anyone?). I prefer that rumored "Power Pack" movie to switch places if that's indeed the case. Crossing my fingers!

Netflix

Eventhough Marvel's "The Punisher" is catching everyone's attention, and receiving mostly positive response from entertainment critics (general drawbacks are inevitably concerning the gun violence), Marvel fans need to be prepared with the possibility of it being the final Marvel title on Netflix. As has been widely reported, Disney is intent on creating their own streaming service. One that will include new live action show for "Star Wars", animated series based on "Monsters Inc.", and also Marvel series.

It's unlikely if the service will ONLY have one series. So it makes perfect sense for Disney to end their contract with Netflix, and pull out movies and shows like Marvel's "Daredevil", Marvel's "Jessica Jones", Marvel's "Luke Cage", Marvel's "Iron Fist", and Marvel's "The Defenders" from the platform to be exclusives alongside their 'future family'. After all, Disney had openly stated that Netflix would end up becoming their competitor when the time come. I doubt Netflix would be threatened, with a vast library of original series and movies in their pockets. But this might have a bitter result to fans of the series. Sure, this might not be as bad as many fans are worrying about, because these shows might simply move to a different place. Then again, we also need to remember that Netlfix co-financed these series, so the most likelihood is that these series will be put to a close. Can fans handle that? I don't think so.

For now, "Daredevil" begins filming Season 3 this week. I think the 2nd seasons of "Jessica Jones" and "Luke Cage" had wrapped, while the one for "Iron Fist" will start next month. At the very least, these shows are still set to air in 2018 since Disney won't be launching their service until the following year. Come 2019? Come what may. All episodes of "The Punisher" should already be available today, so you might want to enjoy it as much as possible... while you still can.

Final Fantasy

"Episode of Ignis", the third character DLC for "Final Fantasy XV" has received an official release date. Square Enix announced at the Paris Games Week 2017, that it will be available on December 13th, 2017. The storyline will take place after the "Trial of Leviathan", where Ignis is tasked to protect the unconscious Noctis as they make their way to safety. Ravus will also join forces with Ignis, likely to protect his sister Lunafreya. The story will have multiple endings, and feature new music from "Chrono Trigger" composer Yasunori Mitsuda. You can check out the official trailer for this DLC on Youtube.

Noctis himself, is set to have his own... uhmmm, 'adventure'. As in, he will be guest starring as a playable DLC character in... "Tekken 7". Yes, I know I should've put this in a separate "Tekken" category, but moreso than Geese Howard who came from "The King of Fighters" series, Noctis IS the LEAD of "Final Fantasy XV". It would be more appropriate to feature him here in his own turf, right? Ahahaha... good excuse, eh. Noctis will be available in Spring 2018. The announcement trailer sees him receiving an in-game invitation/request from Lars Alexandersson, and features his three travelling companions too (who unfortunately are only present as cameo). Go check it out, it's a fun video...

Dynasty Warriors

KOEI Tecmo has announced the release date of the English version of "Dynasty Warriors 9". While the original Japanese version will arrive for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC on February 8th, 2018, countries in North America and Europe will have to wait a few days later for a release on February 13th, 2018. I doubt this will spark complaints though, because unlike previous titles, this one only sees a delay that is only less than a week away.

Pre-ordering the game will reward players with a set of extra costumes for the character Zhao Yun, Guan Yinping, Diaochan, Sun Shangxiang, Lu Lingqi, Wang Yi, and Wang Yuanji. I know what you're thinking, Zhao Yun's the only male on the list! I guess that's because he's the unofficial poster boy for the franchise, so he gets the privilege to be surrounded by the ladies. Fans of the series can already book their copy of the game right away, whether in physical or digital version.

Ace Attorney

Nintendo Switch has taken the world by storm, and rightfully so. While its launch lineup was pretty scarce, third party developers have begun noticing the potential and strong selling point of the hybrid console. One of them, is of course CAPCOM.

According to recent report, they are preparing THREE... yes, not one or two, but three titles from the "Ace Attorney" franchise to be released in 2018. The first two, are compilation titles set to be released between April and October 2018. The first one compiles the first three games (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney − Trials and Tribulations), and the second compiles the next three (Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Spirit of Justice). All those titles have been exclusively available or re-released for Nintendo 3DS, so I doubt it will take long for them to be transferred into a Switch version.

The third title, is going to be an entirely new title that features Phoenix Wright as the lead protagonist once again. This is good because the latest title released was the 19th century setting "The Great Ace Attorney 2: Ryunosuke Naruhodo’s Resolution", and just like its prequel, it didn't get an English-language version. Having Phoenix at the spotlight means fans might get an international version, albeit via digital services. This news is still regarded 'rumor' for now, but as I said, Switch is getting all the buzz, so I won't be surprised if it ends up becoming actual fact and not just fan fiction.

ARIKA

The company's so-called 'Mysterious Fighting Game' has been given an official title. It's "Fighter EX Layer".... Whooaa--HUH? Hold on, Layer? Why Layer, what's the point? I wonder why they don't just call it "Fighter EX Arena" or something. Japan and their Engrish sometimes throws you for a loop, huh? LOL.

ARIKA will start beta testing on December 11th, with six playable characters: Kairi, Garuda, Skullomania, Darun Mister, Allen Snider, and Shirase. Those who attend PlayStation Experience 2017 on December 9th and 10th, will also be able to play a demo version. The game will utilize a system called 'Gougi', which sounds a little hard to describe or comprehend. Apparently, this will allow players to have different ways to play, so the flow of matches will be changed. To put it simple... it's difficult to make sense of until I can get my hands on it. LOL. "Fighting EX Layer" will arrive next year, so for the time being, check out the new trailer to get more... uhm, understanding about it.

Pocket Monsters

DC fans have gotten a "Justice League" movie, while Marvel fans received "The Punisher" series this very day. There's still one more, and this one is dedicated for Pokemon fans worldwide. Yes, the high-scored "Pokemon Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon" is now officially available in market! Yaaaay...

Since the start of the month, The Pokemon Company has been releasing new promotional materials to convince gamers to grab the new and final adventure on Alola Region. Did you know that every Legendary Pokemon and their alternate forms are set to appear via Ultra Wormhole? Make sense, because this would be the last title for Nintendo 3DS. Some of them are version exclusives (like Ho-Oh is Ultra Sun while Lugia is in Ultra Moon), and some even requires special conditions (Giratina can only appear if version exclusives Dialga and Palkia are present), but all the Legendaries from Generation I to VII is here.

What about Team Rainbow Rocket? It's a villainous organization created by... previous bosses from past games. Yes, Team Rocket's Giovanni is bringing Team Magma's Maxie, Team Aqua's Archie, Team Galactic's Cyrus, Team Plasma's Ghetsis, and Team Flare's Lysandre to challenge the protagonist. There's also The Battle Agency that allows players to use Rental Pokemon, and also Totem Stickers that enable them to obtain totem-sized Pokemon. You can check out the details on these features on Gematsu, or check out the official trailer.

The latest one focuses on Necrozma, because the so-called 'Strange Evil' contains another enlightening "Secret". This refers to a report that the poster Pokemon/Ultra Beast will have a new form in these games, and not just the Dusk Mane or Dawn Wings. Read the details of this news on Gematsu.

Those who don't have a 3DS, has no other choice but to rely on "Pokemon GO" your Smartphone. Hey, there's a free Alolan costume now... to make it seem like we're also playing "Ultra Sun & Moon". LOL. Problem is, what would happen now that Niantic is actively developing a new title? Should casual and devoted players alike be nervous? Well... if Niantic's statement could be hold accountable (they... generally do, by the way), then players should NOT be worried. The company openly promised that inspite of "Harry Potter: Wizards Unite", "Pokemon GO" will still be continuously improved and updated. They even say that the team is 'doubling down' on new improvements, particularly in the year 2018. Hmmm... that means we won't be getting the rest of Generation III until at least January, huh? Bummer.

With a new 'copycat' app already 'stealing' the buzz by implementing most-requested features that "Pokemon GO" has been sorely lacking, it looks like Niantic will be pushed to step up their game much faster. Producing updates in a slow pace simply won't cut it anymore, unless they are planning on losing more and more players by relying on the same gameplay that... well, ends up becoming tedious and boring after a while. So yeah, let's just keep a close tab on this 'promise' and whether the company will be able to be true to their words or the opposite. That's when the judgement will be strike down. Am I right? *wink*

[dazringtail]

AHKJ Season 5 plot prediction

There is a theory that’s going through my head and i’d like to share it with you.

What if Karl had been the one to steal the pet snake from Koto's servant before releasing it into the kingdom? I mean, how else should a snake get there?

We know Karl is great in gathering informations, especially with his nearly invisible friend Chauncey. He might have observed Koto for a while now and he probably knew that if Koto would meet Julien, he’d realise how easy it’d be to take over the Kingdom, but Koto maybe never realised there is a Kingdom. So by releasing the snake into the Kingdom, he forced Koto to venture out and thus, meet Julien.

Now that Karl knew Koto would attack, he fled from the Kingdom beforehand, and that’s why we never saw Koto clashing with Karl in Un-King Me.

Julien is now desperate and Karl could offer him to help taking back the Kingdom. He could reason his siding with explaining how Koto is messing with his families business and that the removal of Koto would be in their both interests.

However, in reality Karl never actually cared about his fam-business, as we know. He only is after Julien. And by helping him gathering an army and defeating Koto, he’d gain massive trust from Julien and co.

And with Juliens army weakend by defeating Koto, Karl could see a great chance to strike and take over almost without any resistance.

He once stated that he’s going to destroy Julien when he least expect it and Karl is intelligent and capable enough to pull that of.

He could be the Puppet Master, the great schemer behind all of this. Like Blofeld and Moriarty.

[kkintle]

The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry by Jon Ronson;  Quotes

“That’s what I Am a Strange Loop is about,” said Deborah. “It’s about how we spend our lives self-referencing, over and over, in a kind of strange loop.

Yes, there was a missing piece of the puzzle, Douglas Hofstadter was saying, but the recipients had gotten it wrong. They assumed the endeavor was brilliant and rational because they were bril iant and rational, and we tend to automatically assume that everybody else is basically just like us. But in fact the missing piece was that the author was a crackpot. The book couldn’t be decoded because it was written by a crackpot.

“But it isn’t disappointing,” I said. “Can’t you see? It’s incredibly interesting. Aren’t you struck by how much action occurred simply because something went wrong with one man’s brain? It’s as if the rational world, your world, was a stil pond and Petter’s brain was a jagged rock thrown into it, creating odd ripples everywhere.”

“That’s an incredibly depressing thought,” I said, “that if you’re in a room and at one end lies madness and at the other end lies sanity, it is human nature to veer towards the madness end.”

Bob said it’s always a nice surprise when a psychopath speaks openly about their inability to feel emotions. Most of them pretend to feel. When they see us non-psychopaths crying or scared or moved by human suffering, or whatever, they think it’s fascinating. They study us and learn how to ape us, like space creatures trying to blend in, but if we keep our eyes open, we can spot the fakery.

At the end of our conversation she turned to address you, the reader. She said if you’re beginning to feel worried that you may be a psychopath, if you recognize some of those traits in yourself, if you’re feeling a creeping anxiety about it, that means you are not one.

I couldn’t see where the collection of Burger King figurines fit in, but I supposed there was no reason why psychopaths shouldn’t have unrelated hobbies.

That’s the psychopath: somebody who doesn’t understand what’s going on emotionally, but understands that something important has happened.”

We are dazzled by people who withhold something, and psychopaths always do because they are not all there.

As I glanced at the phraseology of the research report, dull and unfathomable to outsiders like me, I thought that if you have the ambition to become a villain, the first thing you should do is learn to be impenetrable. Don’t act like Blofeld—monocled and ostentatious. We journalists love writing about eccentrics. We hate writing about impenetrable, boring people. It makes us look bad: the duller the interviewee, the duller the prose. If you want to get away with wielding true, malevolent power, be boring.

The right sort of mad are people who are a bit madder than we fear we’re becoming, and in a recognizable way. We might be anxious but we aren’t as anxious as they are. We might be paranoid but we aren’t as paranoid as they are. We are entertained by them, and comforted that we’re not as mad as they are.

Maybe it was the trying so hard to be normal that was making everyone so afraid they were going crazy.

[annabelsampson]

In our annual event at Simpson’s in the Strand, awards were given to Basil Brush, Geoffrey Palmer, Alan Ayckbourn, Henry Blofeld, April Ashley, Baroness Williams of Crosby and the great Dame Vera Lynn – February 2017

‘Who needs hostesses when you’ve got actors of the calibre we’ve got surrounding us?’ mused our Oldie of the Year chair – into his fourth year in the role – Gyles Brandreth, referencing the Presidents Club scandal.

At all angles, and from all corners, there were oldie celebrities, acknowledged by Gyles in a sweeping introductory celebration: ‘June Whitfield has become Dame June Whitfield since we last saw her – to see her and Barry Cryer in the corner together, it sends a kind of bizarre erotic charge.’

He also praised Dame Judi Dench, his neighbour at the top table; and Thelma Ruby, one of last year’s winners – bright as a button, sitting beside Len Goodman – who performed in a one-woman play at the King’s Head Theatre in Islington last year at 91. Maureen Lipman, one of the Oldie of the Year judges, was pointed out by Gyles ‘wearing one of Joyce Grenfell’s dreadful hats’ and John Humphrys was treated to lunch beside John Lloyd, the radio producer and another Oldie of the Year judge. The Oldie generously gave Humphrys a free lunch after what Harry Mount – the magazine’s editor – described as ‘his massive pay cut’.

Such a gathering stirred a thought in Gyles: ‘It makes me think that we should be hosting a revival of Noel Coward’s famous play Waiting in the Wings.’ Gyles first saw this play at the Savoy Theatre – next door to Simpson’s in the Strand, where the awards luncheon was held – when he was a young boy. The play is about three elderly actresses living in an old people’s home. Gyles’s resounding memory of the play was seeing the actresses – all in their eighties and nineties – ‘dry up’, as the saying goes. Gyles recalled the excruciating moment: ‘Fortunately, in the wings, was a game stage manager, who spoke the line loudly and clearly. It was certainly clear enough for us in the auditorium to hear it, but apparently not for the actresses on stage – because the silence continued.’ Gyles explained how the stage manager repeated the line, still more slowly and clearly from the wings – and still no reaction of any kind on the stage. ‘The third and final time, the stage manager now popped her head around the edge of the proscenium arch and spoke this line so loudly, and so clearly it was completely unmissable, at which point Dame Sybil Thorndike looked at her and said, "We know the line dear, we just can’t remember which one of us says it.” ’ 

Sir Alan Ayckbourn was honoured as our Oldie Drama King of the Year. The great man has written 82 plays in total, and all but four of these were first produced in his native Scarborough in North Yorkshire. ‘He’s had plays running since the 1960s to the present day – The Divide opens tonight at The Old Vic,’ Gyles explained. ‘He’s a director, he a producer, he’s a playwright, and if you know his plays, they make you laugh, they make you cry – he is the complete theatre man of our time.'

Sir Alan accepted the award with a brief anecdote: ‘Many years ago, back in the Seventies, when I was in the midday of my fame and fortune, with the sun shining brightly on me, an actor colleague of mine delighted in telling me a story.’ This friend of his had met a young drama student, who vowed that he wanted to spend the rest of his career playing modern comedy by new dramatists in modern theatres ­– his raison d’etre for being in the theatre. The young thesp added, sadly, that there seemed to be no one writing modern comedies in the theatre. Alan’s friend – loyal to the last ­– reminded the young actor of Ayckbourn. ‘At this, the young drama student, stared at him for a while and said, “No, I’m talking about living dramatists.”

‘This,’ Ayckbourn explained, ‘was my first touch with mortality. This award means so much to me, thank you so much for acknowledging that I still exist.’ Henry Blofeld, our Dear Oldie Thing of the Year was described by Jim White, in his profile in the latest Oldie magazine, as ‘a broadcaster who transcended his medium. His warmth, his generosity, his sheer zest for life spilled out across the airwaves. For 45 years he kept us amused with his whimsy, his comments about passing double-decker buses and the imaginative levels of fancy dress in the crowd. All delivered in an epic RP accent.’ After, Gyles professed what a great joy it was, just to hear that voice once more – ‘I almost didn’t want to see you to be honest; just to pretend we had turned on the wireless and there you were.’ He added, ‘You should be doing a podcast, you know. We’d all subscribe to it – we’d listen week in, week out’.

Geoffrey Palmer, our Oldie Palmer D’or of the Year, was introduced by Gyles in a flurry of excitement: ‘It’s so exciting all of this: we’re moving into a different decade! We have someone who was born in June 1927 – so they are now in the 91st year.’ The award and microphone were passed to Dame Judi Dench to present the award, as she had starred alongside Geoffrey in As Time Goes By, what Gyles described as ‘sort of like Location, Location, Location but with a relationship’.

‘I wish wish, wish that this was the award for ‘Most Promising Newcomer’ or, maybe even, ‘The Naughtiest Man I Ever Had the Pleasure to Work With’, but it’s not – it’s the Oldie awards, Geoffrey,’ said Dame Judi. ‘I’m going to quote Bernard Shaw, as he said about Ellen Terry, “she never seemed old to me”. Well, nor you to me’. One of the Oldie contributors, Mark Mason, later commented ‘If I look as good at 61, as Geoffrey Palmer looks at 91, I’ll be more than content’.

Baroness Williams of Crosby was our Oldie Political Legend of the Year and gave a very pertinent speech, talking to the Simpson’s dining room as if it might be the House of Lords. She celebrated her neighbour Alan Ayckbourn: ‘I’ve been sat next to someone who is clearly alive in every sense of the word. I can assure everybody that he is not only alive but full of ideas, full of new thoughts for his next play.’ Baroness Williams told a story: ‘When I first got elected to parliament in 1964, there were precisely 23 women members of parliament. That meant it was very hard to see your way around, and see if there was any place, for women. I foolishly, or otherwise, walked around this new house that I was a member of, in order to see what was going on – the first thing I said to myself I will do is to push open every door I saw that said Members Only – because after all, I was now a member. It should have said Every Male Member Only. Baroness Williams concluded saying: ‘Let me finally tell you this, I’m delighted to be an oldie, I never thought I would be – I thought I’d put it off for ever. Older people have a huge contribution to make, and that great contribution is exemplified by our extraordinarily eloquent chairman – who seems to remember all there is to remember about all of us’.

Gyles said: ‘We like to honour a centenarian if we can, and this year we can. She was born in March 1917, you know who it’s going to be…‘ Indeed, our lead award was presented by Gyles to Virginia Lewis-Jones, the daughter of Dame Vera Lynn, who accepted the award on her mother’s behalf. Gyles told the dining room that the Vera Lynn 100 album had been paid for and downloaded more than 100,000 time ­– 'she has become the oldest recorded artist and the first centenarian in the top three in the charts in the history of recording'. He beautifully summarised: ‘If in the Second World War, Winston Churchill gave us the roar, then this lady, gave us the voice.’

www.theoldie.co.uk, February 2017

[movieexpert1978]

Wedding Day

Day 11 Idol Challenge Christoph Waltz 

anon request:  Wed Me: ElisaxErnst because we could all use some happy at the moment

here’s a lovely wedding fic for everyone!! @wingsy-keeper-of-songs let me use her OC Nora again, so thank you!! Don’t steal as Nora is not my OC. This is a sequel to Manners Maketh Man, so King is in here too. Also Dusan from Downsizing makes a cameo. 

Ernst Blofeld is not my character.King Schultz is not my character. Dusan is not my character. 

Elisa never dreamed in her life that this day would come.

She was getting married.

She took a deep breath to steady herself as she looked at her reflection. It was a simple white dress that bared her shoulders, but she felt like a bride. Her hair was down and looking lovely with all her brown curls before she put the small veil on. She even put a little makeup on. She looked down and stared at her bare hand. Ernst had her ring and wedding band while she had his to exchange during their vows. It was a small ceremony at their house in mountains in Austria. She never wanted a big venue and to go all out. To her spending the day at home with Ernst and a few friends was enough. She had to smile to herself as she heard King bickering with someone out in the living room. They would say the ceremony in the backyard, as with a little help, it had been turned in a lovely garden.

“Now I’m only going to say this once.” King said to Ernst, who did his best not to swallow nervously.

“King, calm down. It’s their wedding day.” Nora insisted.

“I know, but I just want to give Ernst some advice.” King said calmly. Nora groaned as she headed off to check on Elisa. “I’ve got my shotgun now.” King stated. Ernst waited silently for him to continue because he knew better. “So, you better treat her right or else…I’m going to use it and I make sure to clean it every day. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir.” Ernst answered quickly. They shook hands and parted with Ernst going outside.

“Hey there he is!” Dusan said happily coming over and giving him a hug.

“Hello Dusan.” Ernst grumbled. He met the man over a year ago, when he and Elisa took a temporary split. He made friends with Elisa first and he learned to tolerate Dusan somewhat. He wasn’t hurting Elisa so that was good. She even asked if he could be invited and after some thinking Ernst relented and said yes. Ernst would never admit it out-loud, but he found the man funny at times.

Nora knocked on the door bringing Elisa back to reality.

“Oh come in.” She called out.

“Awwww, you look beautiful.” Nora gasped coming up to her. She gave Elisa a gentle hug and looked her over. “Oh honey…” She smiled.

“Hey, maybe you’ll be next.” Elisa suggested making Nora chuckle.

“We’ll see. Do you need any help with anything?”

“Just my nerves. My heart is pounding.” She sighed taking a deep breath.

“It’s ok, you’re doing just fine. You and Ernst worked through that rough patch last and now here you are. It’s amazing isn’t?” Nora asked excitedly.

“Yeah it is.” Elisa nodded.

“Ok, I’ll leave you be. King might be bugging you soon, I’ll try and hold him off for you.” She winked before she left. Elisa sighed again as she slumped into her chair. She closed her eyes to clear her head as she thought back to when Ernst purposed to her. They were back in Rome on assignment, which she finished quickly. She was looking at the view of the city from their balcony when Ernst came to her.

“You know I used to look out here and think about how beautiful it is. Now I see you and can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you are.” He said looking at her. She blushed and bashfully turned away. He leaned in and kissed her neck. “I have something for you.” He said making her turn back to him. She looked to see Ernst pull out a little black box…and went down on one knee.

“What are you doing?” She asked nervously. He opened the box and tears came to her eyes as she saw a beautiful ring with a blue diamond.

“Elisa…will you marry me?”

“Yes! Yes Ernst! Yes!” She smiled excitedly. They hugged and kissed tightly, not wanting the moment to end. When they finally parted to breathe he put the ring on her finger and she never felt so excited to wear a piece of jewelry like this.

She opened her eyes and came back to reality. She got up, did a once over glance of herself again before she slowly opened the door and started walking downstairs. Nobody saw her yet as the small group of guests and Ernst were outside waiting patiently. She made it halfway when she heard some more footsteps and she looked to see King staring at her in awe. When she got off the stairs they stared at each other.

“Hi.” She whispered.

“Hello darling.” King whispered as he came up to her. She nearly started crying when she saw King’s eyes were getting teary and he pulled her into a hug. “You look so beautiful.” He sighed trying to regain his composure.

“You look very handsome too King.” She laughed.

“I’m so proud of you.” He said squeezing her hand.

“Thanks King.” She managed to get out. He pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

King glanced towards the outside again and held out his arm.

“Shall we?”

She took his arm and he squeezed her hand again as he felt her shaking. She thought everyone could hear her heartbeat as King walked her down the Aisle. Nora smiled at her and Dusan gave her a thumbs up making her giggle quietly. She saw a few of her trusted partners that she met over the years on different assignments and they all gave her warm smiles and encouraging winks. They stopped and she realized she was right in front of Ernst who was just staring at her like King had. King kissed her hand and gave her a comforting nod before he gave her hand to Ernst.

“Take care of her.” He whispered before he sat down next to Nora. She patted his thigh as he quickly tried to hide his tears.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of two people…” The Priest started. Elisa could barely hear him as she focused more on Ernst as they held hands. He went first to say his vows.

“Elisa…the first time I saw your blue eyes I knew that I never wanted to stop seeing them ever.” He started with a deep breath. You make me so happy and I want nothing more in this world than to return the favor. I promise to cherish you as long as I live. To have and to hold, through sickness and in health. I love you Elisa…so, so much.”

There was a silent moment as he put the ring on her finger.  

The Priest turned to her to speak and she did so after a moment or two.

“Ernst…it took a long time for me to realize that you were sincere and that you loved me. You kept going after me when I thought no one else would…until finally I realized that I didn’t want anyone else but you. I could listen to your lovely accent all day long. I love every day that I wake up with you at my side. So I promise to cherish and love you for as long as I live. To have and to hold, through sickness and in health. I love you so much too Ernst.”

Nora handed her the ring and Elisa put the gold band without an octopus on his finger.

“Do you Ernst Blofeld take this woman, Elisa Prime, to be your wife?”

“I do.”

“And do you Elisa Prime take this man Ernst Blofeld, to be your husband?”

“I do.”

“Then by the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

The small crowd cheered when they did so and when they parted they were both crying. They all went back inside and made a toast to the couple with champagne.

“You look so beautiful.” Ernst whispered into her ear as everyone started chatting.

“Thank you, and you look so handsome.” She smiled at his tuxedo.

“Hey Elisa!” Dusan called out happily. He cleaned up nicely and was wearing a plain grey suit, with no chain around his neck this time, as he came up and gave her a big hug and shook Ernst’s hand. “Congratulations you two.” He smiled happily.

“Hey E!” Someone called out. She looked to see her most frequent agent partner, Derrick coming over. “You look amazing. Congratulations.” He said hugging her.

“Thank you Derrick.” She smiled happily.

“Boss…she’s a keeper.” He said to Ernst shaking his hand. He only nodded before they were left alone again for a brief moment. They gave each other a quick kiss before they got a plate of catered food. They did have a small cake that would come out later. Elisa didn’t have a bouquet, but she took a flower from one of the decorative vases and handed it to Nora.

“What’s this?” She said confused.

“I don’t have a bouquet so I improvised.” Elisa winked. The two women laughed and hugged as some music came on and everyone started eagerly dancing for a bit.

“They make such a lovely couple.” Nora said as she and King danced.

“Yes, they are very happy.” King rasped quietly. Nora saw he was starting to cry again. “Sorry.” He blushed.

“It’s ok. I know she means a lot to you…and she does to me too. I’m so thankful you two welcomed me so openly.” Nora blushed.

“Of course. Elisa said as long as she treats you nice she’s alright with me.” He chuckled.

“She gave me her bouquet.” Nora said waving the flower in the air.

“Oh my.” He blushed as he looked at her. Nora laughed and gave him a small kiss as they resumed dancing. As the night went on the other guests slowly parted. King and Nora left last of course and gave their blessings again before they left. When the door was closed Ernst promptly lifted Elisa up into his arms and twirled her around making her laugh.

“You’re making me dizzy.” She laughed. He happily carried her up the stairs and across the threshold into their bedroom. He sat her down gently on the bed before he grabbed something. “What’s that?” She asked as he gave her another little black box.

“It’s my gift to you.” He answered.

“Ernst! But I…”

“It’s ok. It was a last minute decision.” He said. She opened it and blinked in surprise to see that it was his gold spectre ring.

“I don’t understand?”

“It’s yours. Do whatever you want with it, melt it down, throw it out, whatever.” He explained. “This ring is far more important now.” He said showing his wedding band proudly. “I may be the head of Spectre, but I’m your husband first…and I’m more proud of that title than any other achievement.” He said sincerely. She smiled and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“I love you Ernst.” She whispered as she stood up and they kissed. She knew what she was going to do with it. She was going to put it on a chain around her neck.

It was going to remind her that he chose her over Spectre.