#block them! and then go talk to real people trust me they will be more balanced

[wolf-twenty-one]

99% of the time i see a discourse post I'm just like... please go outside and interact with real people! your boogie man is like 1500 online losers whose entire worldview was formed on this site. go outside. interact with real person to person in real life communities.

[tellafairy]

thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)

coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.

your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..

the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.

it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.

really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.

1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.

ex: "i really want her waist"

to

"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"

exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.

2. it's yours, so act like it..

ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..

you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...

3. that's literally it

you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.

it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.

as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.

so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....

once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.

yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads

[silkentine]

All I could think while drawing Nami was, “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” And, of course, with Robin I was thinking, “save a horse… 🥵”

Design Notes and other opining below the cut:

For Nami, I wanted to go for a mix of cocky Jersey mafia newbie and surfer boy. I like to think that some of the horrendous outfit choices that Sanji makes (especially in the movies) were actually picked out by Nami. She’s the shopper!!! But yeah, the vibrant swim trunks and graphic tees just scream Nami. I also wanted to put him in a wetsuit/rash guard because I think that’s a sexy look so sue me if you hate it. You cannot argue with me that Nami doesn’t wear swimsuits as clothes.

He’s toned but not as muscular as Robin or Luffy (for example) because he isn’t a front-line fighter, I want him to maintain the same kind of role that Nami has in the animanga. He’s the best navigator in the world!! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the violent tendencies that Nami has, but ultimately I think he’d still give the more deserving members of the crew a healthy wallop (although I might portray it more cartoonishly). Boy Piece!Nami still grew up under Arlong’s authority so he spent a lot of his childhood walking on eggshells to protect his village and his brother, Nojiko, so I think he never really got to learn “you’re not supposed to hit people just because they frustrate you” lesson. I gave him a shark-tooth necklace because surely Arlong had a few loose teeth to spare once Luffy took her down. Victory spoils LOL

If he can get the girls to stop wrestling and sit down quietly for a while, he likes to host card games (with betting, of course) or watch the clouds while sipping whatever fruity cocktail Sanji whips up. I believe that Canon!Nami is a total lesbian, and I can’t possibly envision a Nami who doesn’t like women so Boy Piece!Nami is bi. I am, of course, a Namivivi truther and Vivi is also a man in this AU. I don’t hate Sanami within this dynamic though… lots to think about.

Okay!!! All-shipper mindset aside, let’s talk Robin. I gave him long hair because 1) it’s hot and 2) I think it makes him look like Dragon. Yeahhh, I subscribe to the Luffy and Robin are half-siblings theory because I think it’s funny and makes some sense. Crocodile is 100% Luffy’s Mom in this AU and I think Robin knows it LOL

For his outfits, I wanted to lean a bit more Indiana Jones where I could; he’s still primarily cowboy inspired though. For the main look, I went with the Skypeia color palette hehe, I think Robin looks good in yellow. I did some flower-petal shaped color blocking on his chaps because I think it’s cute and subtle. I really love that the powers of the Hana-Hana-no-mi are like… unexpected for a “flower flower” fruit and I think Robin would be more aware that juxtaposition as a guy. You might also be wondering about the gloves and I initially just had it for his cowboy look but I decided to put them on all the outfits up until the events of Enies Lobby. Canon!Robin has a really difficult childhood and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that she’s a girl on her own. If Robin was a boy, he’d probably have an easier time living on his own but would be a lot less emotionally open. All of these elements combine to make him want that physical barrier between his real hands and the world. Once he can trust that the Strawhats will always be there for him, he’s more willing to be more physically open.

I also think it’d be cute if he was much more of a coffee drinker :3c I see Canon!Robin as a connoisseur who likes a well-brewed espresso but Boy Piece!Robin needs a cup of joe (no matter its quality) every chance he can get. So I drew him with his special #1 ARCHAEOLOGIST mug.

It would make me so happy if you left your thoughts in the tags or replies!! Even if you hate everything about them, I just really like engagement hahaha. I’m thinking girl Usopp is next despite the poll results because she’s on my mind rn (don’t hold me to this, LOL I’m fickle). I’m making these for fun so I just wanna make designs in the order that interests me the most. Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog to see all the genderbends I have so far. And happy pride!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Working at Millers bar, one night your drunk ex comes in to start trouble. Feelings grow for Joel but he thinks he’s no good for you.]

Smut, angst, slight mention of DV.

“Honey, I ain’t the man you think I am”

It was a typical late Friday night working at the Millers bar. The place was packed as Joel stood beside you pouring drinks. It usually always got like this on the weekends, which is why Joel had you working so you could gain the most tip. Him and Tommy would sometimes give you half of their tips at the end of a night, always looking out for you knowing you didn’t have much people who did.

It was nice having men like Joel and Tommy on your side…especially Joel. From the moment he gave you this job you found yourself liking him more and more. It was hard to stop yourself from staring, it was hard not to get a little jealous when you’d see women throw themselves at him. Women he was never interested in, he was a real loner when it came to dating…his daughter Sarah being his main priority.

“Hey honey, you alright?” Joels hand brushing past your arm as he walked by you.

“Yes, just trying to move quickly” you chuckled as you mixed a drink looking around the bar when your heart stopped. Your ex walking in through the front door clearly looking for someone.

Looking for you.

“Hey baby, good to see you” Jake spoke loudly as he walked up to the bar making Joel look up.

“Jake-“ you spoke nervously.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you” you poured the drink in a cup and handed it to the customer beside him with a smile.

“Of course you weren’t” he looked around the room before his eyes stopped on you.

“So can I have a drink, you know what I like” he winked at you as you stood still before feeling a slight nudge from Joel.

“You ok?”

“Yeah” you quickly smiled at Joel assuring him everything was fine.

Joel took a step back serving other customers as he kept an eye on Jake, he never liked him, he never trusted him. Tommy working beside him, he subtly tapped him on the arm and motioned in your direction.

“Keep an eye on them two, I gotta get some stuff from the back real quick”

“No worries, I’m watching him” Tommy whispered.

A half hour passed as Jake ordered another two drinks, he didn’t say much but you didn’t like the look he had. You could tell he was up to something.

“Let me asking you something, baby”

“What?” You crossed your arms as Joel stood close by.

“This where you met him?”

“What?” You asked confused as Jake chuckled sarcastically.

“Now you’re acting like you don’t know”

“Jake, what are you talking about?”

“You cheated on me, you think I don’t know?!” He suddenly yelled causing Joel to look over.

“Jake-“ you stepped closer to the bar that was between you both.

“I’m at work, don’t start. You’re drunk, you know I never cheated-“

“Don’t lie to me!” He yelled louder slamming his glass on the table.

“What’s his name?”

“There’s no other man!” You yelled back when Jake unexpectedly stood up and attempted to grab you by your wrist until Joel instantly stood before you pushing you behind him, blocking his reach.

“Get the hell out of here” Joel threw a towel over his shoulder as he leaned over the bar getting in Jake’s face who backed away.

“Go on, leave. You ain’t welcome here” Tommy stood beside Joel as the room went completely silent. Everyone staring at Jake as he angrily walked out slamming the doors shut. Everyone slowly went back to normal as Joel turned to you while Tommy went to make sure he had truly left.

“You alright?” He could tell you were a bit shaken up.

“Uh, yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I have no idea why he came in here like that”

“You don’t have to apologize” he assured you.

“You can go to the back, help with the dishes. You don’t have to stay out here” with a breath of relief you nodded.

“Thanks, Joel” he watched as you quickly walked off before getting back to working.

At the end of the night you hadn’t said much. He watched as you grabbed your purse before he stopped you.

“Let me give you a ride tonight, just incase you run into the nutcase” relieved that he offered you a ride you nodded and smiled.

The drive was silent after Joel made his first stop and dropped Tommy off at his girlfriend’s house. You sat in the passenger seat looking out the window not noticing how Joel looked over at you. Scratching his throat he tried to think of a way to bring up your situation without making you feel uncomfortable but before he spoke you unexpectedly bought it up.

“About today” you took a deep breath.

“It won’t happen again, he won’t ever disrupt the bar again like that-“

“He better not ever disrupt you like that again, cause I know that won’t ever happen in my bar again” he spoke confidently as he drove.

“Look, I know it ain’t my business but-“ he looked over at you during a red light.

“Ya gotta stay away from boys like that. That ain’t love, you think that boy has your best interest?”

“I know” you sighed.

“You’re better than that, doll. You’re a beautiful woman” your heart skipped a beat, had he not looked away to continue his drive he would’ve noticed how red your cheeks turned.

“Thanks” you whispered shyly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I mean it, you need a more respectful man. A hard worker” the more he spoke the more you thought about him and your feelings for him, something you managed to hide all this time.

“These little boys don’t know how to handle a woman like yourself, you need someone more on your level, darlin’”

“Like you” you blurt out making him quickly look your way.

“Oh no no, that’s not what I meant-“

“You’re a hard worker, you’re a good man, Joel. You’re respectful and I-I guess….I guess that’s why I’ve always…had these feelings for you” you couldn’t believe you were admitting to the feelings you had for him..something you never thought you would do. Joel took a deep breath as his hand tightened on the steering wheel.

“Honey, I ain’t the man you think I am” his voice was hoarse as he spoke, his eyes on the road.

“Joel I-“

“I’m no good for you, you don’t need someone like me, trust me plus I’m old enough to be your damn daddy” he pulled up on your block. You could feel your stomach turn from his rejection, you felt like an idiot.

“Look-“ Joel turned towards you.

“I think you’re beautiful, you’re smart, shit I’d be lucky to have a woman like you but…I just ain’t all that good” you refused to believe that.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said anything” you tried disconnecting your seatbelt, struggling to remove it. Joel helped you un click it as you refused to look him in the eye.

“No, don’t be sorry-“

“Just forget I said anything please” you opened the car door quickly letting yourself out. Before Joel could say another word you walked off in embarrassment. He watched as you walked in your front door, his eyes never leaving you as he took a deep breath. Joel never had a clue this entire time you had feelings for him. Of course he’d be lying if he said he didn’t check you out at times but he never let you catch him. He never let it get over his head.

The next day you anxiously walked in to your shift for the evening. Tommy behind the bar serving a drink as you put your bag down.

“Not too busy yet?” You sighed looking around.

“No, Joel’s gonna come in a little later by the way. He’s gonna close with you tonight-“ you quickly looked up at him.

“I thought it was your turn to close with me”

“Well, I got some things I need to do. I’ll close with you tomorrow.” Taking a deep breath you decided to go about your shift. What was the big deal? You admitted your feelings to Joel and he rejected you, nothing you couldn’t handle…right?

Grabbing some more liquor from the stock room you came out to Joel walking in your direction, your heart instantly dropping. Of course you tried to look down acting as if you didn’t see him but he knew better, yet Tommy intervened before he could say a word to you.

Closing your eyes with relief you walked back to the bar and proceeded to serve the customers.

After some time Joel came back out and couldn’t help but notice what you were wearing. A short jean skirt with a black top, he noticed how the men kept their eyes on you, something he never really liked.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, can I get a refill” a man sitting at the bar grinned handing you his glass. Joel watched as you innocently turned and bent over to grab a fresh cup, the man waiting for his drink tilting his head trying to get a glimpse of whatever he could see beneath your skirt. Just as Joel took a step forward you quickly stood up and turned to the man oblivious to what he was doing.

“Here you go” you smiled not knowing Joel had been watching the entire interaction.

“Might want another one very soon, don’t go too far” the man chuckled with a wink.

“Well, just let me know whenever you’re ready” you smiled before turning and accidentally running into Joel. When the hell did he get that close?

“Hey, why don’t you do me a favor and go take care of those ladies for me” he motioned towards a group of women sitting on the other end.

“But he-“

“I got him” Joel assured you.

Quietly you nodded and did as he asked.

Joel watched as the man drank himself away before calling out for his next drink.

“Another one please..” he slurred as Joel walked towards him.

“No, no, I want that- sexy server lady..” he grinned looking at you from across the bar.

“Yeah well, she’s busy right now” Joel grabbed the cup and served him as you continued working. The man shrugged and continued to have his drink as his attention went elsewhere.

The night went on when you noticed one of your good friends walk in. She smiled at you eagerly before sitting in front of you.

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

You immediately sensed she was up to something.

“Don’t kill me, ok?”

“What, Julie?” You sighed placing your hand on your hip.

“Jake wants to talk to you” she blurt out, the mention of Jake’s name catching Joel’s attention. His back to you as he wiped down some cups, eager to hear what you would say.

“And-“

“I told him you’d meet him after work” she squeezed her eyes shut as she quickly spoke.

“Are you kidding me? No! Why would you tell him that?!”

“Jake loves you he just…he just gets mad at times like any man would and you know, sometimes he might have technically put his hands on you but-“ Joel turned his head looking back.

“Technically?!” You were insulted, you couldn’t believe the way Julie spoke.

“I don’t want to see him and I think you should leave too.”

“Oh come on, don’t be so sensitive-“

“Bye, Julie.” Joel heard your voice crack as you quickly walked off. Taking a deep breath he turned to Julie narrowing his eyes on her without her noticing.

“What’s wrong?” Tommy noticed Joel’s expression just as Julie got up and walked out of the bar.

“Nothin’ watch the bar for me” he threw a rag on the counter and walked to the back room to find you.

In the room where all the supplies were you stood behind a shelf hiding when you heard the door open. Quickly wiping your tears off your face you heard Joel’s voice.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yes-yes” you cleared your throat as you came out from your hiding space.

“Sorry, I just needed a minute, my friend was just-“

“That ain’t ya friend” he bluntly cut you off. You knew he was right and quietly nodded.

“If anyone comes in that you don’t want here you just tell me and they’re gone, honey. Tommy and I ain’t gonna let anyone bother you, ya hear me?”

“Thanks, Joel” you whispered looking away awkwardly. This being the first actual interaction you both had since you confessed your feelings to him. Now here he was seeing you cry like an idiot. Yet, Joel was thinking of you as anything but an idiot. Joel found himself replaying what you had said the night before from the moment he woke up that morning. Your confession triggering something inside him, curiosity maybe, he didn’t know, either way he couldn’t stop it.

“I better get back” you quickly attempted to walk past him until he caught you by your arm. Slowly pulling you a couple steps back so that you were face to face with him he moved a step closer. Not having any idea what he was thinking you froze, until you felt his large hand gently grabbed your waist. His dark eyes lost in yours, he leaned in and took your lips with his. His free hand caressing your face when Tommy’s voice made you both quickly jump apart.

“I’m gonna leave soon, Joel” Tommy knocked on the door. Quickly you walked out, running into Tommy who realized you were acting strangely.

“Yeah, yeah, I know” Joel called out a bit irritated by his brother’s interruption.

“I’ll be right there!” He continued.

Rushing back to the bar you continued your work as if nothing happened, yet your stomach was swirling inside, butterflies that you could feel in between your thighs.

What the hell just happened?

Unsure what to think of anything you did your best to simply focus on your customers, that is until slowly everyone began to leave.

Soon the bar was officially empty, you watched as Joel locked the front doors as you began to clean. Collecting all the empty glasses from around the bar you tossed them in a bin as Joel wiped down the tables. Of course you felt his eyes on you, yet you did your best to ignore it, until you found yourself stuck in a corner unable to get past him.

“Excuse me” you whispered awkwardly.

Joel turned to the side putting his hands up allowing you a small space to scoot in front of him. Just as you proceeded to move past him he blocked you with arm, keeping you in front of him.

“You avoidin’ me, honey?” His question leaving you tongue tied.

“No, um, I just- no, it’s just” a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Don’t tell me I scared you away, princess”

Princess.

Your heart fluttering in your chest.

“No, it’s just after last night…I, I didn’t expect that” as you spoke you watched his eyes become heavily distracted by your lips.

Joel couldn’t fight himself, as much as he felt he shouldn’t have been even feeling this way he let his temptation win. All he meant to do was kiss you and that he did. This time his kisses were more intense before you gently pushed him away.

“Look” you moved quickly around the bar.

“I don’t want this to get complicated.”

“It ain’t” he assured you as he slowly followed you around. Your eyes meeting his lips as he pulled you to him once again and continued kissing you. Moaning into his lips next thing he knew he picked you up sitting you on the bar. Joel placed himself between your legs as you pulled him in closer when your phone began to vibrate. Taking your phone out of your pocket to put it aside, he looked down and noticed Jake’s name lighting up on the screen.

“Pick it up” Joel whispered hoarsely.

“I don’t-“

“Just do it.”

With a sigh you gave in and hesitantly flipped open the phone.

“Hello?”

“Where have you been? I know Julie told you I wanted to talk to you-“ Joel grabbed the phone from you unexpectedly and took over.

“She’s busy right now. If I see you or you send one of your little friends again I promise you I will hurt you with my bare hands.” Jake stood silent in shock as Joel flipped the phone shut and put it aside. You sat with your lips parted not expecting for him to have done that. You were surprised Jake didn’t try calling back.

“You threatened him” you raised your brows as he looked at you with no regret.

“Mhm.” His nostrils flared.

Never had you seen Joel hurt a fly, seeing this protective, threatening side of him was something new to you.

“What if he comes here, you’d actually hurt him?” Joel chuckled sarcastically.

“Like I said, princess, I ain’t the man you think I am.” He leaned in whispering close to your lips.

“So…you’re a bad man?”

“Only if you want me to be” his lips touched yours once more before he suddenly yet slowly got down on his knees.

“What are you doing?” His face between your legs, you felt his fingers gently pushed aside your underwear revealing your pussy lips to him. His warm breath against you, you gasped feeling him kiss your inner thigh. Slow kisses leading all the way to your core. He felt your legs slightly tense up around him, he could tell you wanted to feel more. His fingers gently parting your lips allowing him to lean in and taste you. A rush of pleasure traveling up your belly, his eyes meeting yours as he slowly flicked his tongue against your clit.

“Oh-“ you threw your head back as he moved his tongue faster. His arms now beneath your legs pulling you closer to the edge. Your moans alone making him rock hard he needed to loosen up his pants. Your hand brushing through his hair as the other held you up when Joel moaned. The vibration of his deep moan against clit making your body arch against him. Your legs harder to control, Joel knew you were about to cum.

“Please don’t stop-“ you whimpered as he moved his tongue vigorously. His eyes watching as you rolled your eyes back, your lips parted but no sound came out. Your thighs trembling on his shoulders when you finally released a scream of pleasure…

Joel knew he needed you in that very moment. Barely having recovered from the intense orgasm he gave you, still dazed and out of breath, you watched Joel quickly stand up and pull his cock out.

“Joel” you whispered before feeling him rub his cock against you. His breathing growing heavier as he felt your cum all over him.

“Now you’re ready for me” before you could even comprehend what he said, he quickly slid himself in you. Making a sound of desperate relief to finally feel himself wrapped in your warmth, Joel pulled you close moving his lips agonists yours. You moaned as he plunged deeply into you making you take every inch. Each stroke bringing you both closer to climax as you clung onto him. You had fantasized about this for so long yet your fantasies didn’t come close to how erotic this was. Joel breaking into a sweat unbuttoned his shit and threw it aside, his hands pulling you closer against him until next thing you knew he was carrying you in the air. Keeping himself in you he leaned you against the wall and began to thrust his hips faster.

“Fuck-“ he whispered breathlessly against your ear. Your body getting pushed up against the wall as he grunted with each thrust until you felt him tense up.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna-“ he quickly pulled out as you let yourself down and got on your knees. Taking Joel by surprise you opened your mouth and without questioning a thing he grabbed a hand full of your hair. Guiding your mouth to his cock he fully came in your mouth.

“Oh baby..” he cried out, his brows furrowing watching as you swallowed every drop of him. His grip on your hair loosened as you looked up and noticed how weak he became. Joel out of breath took a step back barely able to keep himself balanced.

“Holy shit” he whispered as you wiped your lips and stood up.

“I guess you’re not the only one who could be bad, huh” you teased making him smirk.

“I wasn’t expecting that” he panted with a chuckle.

That night Joel drove you home as you sat in the passenger seat in silence. Unsure of what to say, Joel himself not exactly sure how to go about this. Just as you were about to speak Joel spoke at the same time cutting you off.

“Go ahead, baby. Say what you wanna say” he pulled up in front of your house. You took a deep breath and shook your head.

“No, you go”

“Alright” he cleared his throat, his eyes on the street before him.

“I wanna keep seeing you�� he blurt out.

“Oh, you’re not bad for me anymore?” You teased making him roll his eyes as he turned to you.

“I wouldn’t hurt you, I just wouldn’t exactly be good news to anyone who’d disrespect you. Sometimes I can take things too far and-“ he adjusted himself in his seat.

“I don’t want you to have to see that.”

“I doubt I would” you assured him, you simply couldn’t picture him being the out of control man he swore he could be.

“I better go, I’ll see you tomorrow” you opened the door letting yourself out.

“I’ll call you tonight” he said rather quickly making you look up.

“I mean…if you want me to.”

You smiled as he looked at you with desperate puppy dog eyes.

“Yes, Joel. Of course I want you to”

Turning away you walked to your door as Joel watched and made sure you got in safe not knowing Jake had been watching in his car at the end of the street…

(I know I have so many second parts to catch up to! I promise I will get to each of them! I just excited when I get new request or new ideas.)

Tag list: (if your name isn’t here it’s because tumblr gives some accounts trouble that I tag and it won’t come up. Not sure why)

@harriedandharassed @locaparapedrito @untamedheart81 @rosaliedepp @illyanam1011 @hopefulatrocity @tikikiki @thewritermj @l0veang3l @moonpascal @katmoonz @joelsteinfeld @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @bambisweethearts @baronessvonglitter @mangoslushcrush @guelyury @mynameistokyo @katiemarieeee

[sagesolsticewrites]

Hi! I’d like to request a John “Bucky” Egan fic where he tries several times to flirt with the reader, but the reader is super oblivious about it and just thinks he’s being nice. It becomes something everyone on base talks about and gets invested in. Maybe other people set up a scheme to get them together or make the reader realize how he feels. Idk, just something funny and cute like that ig 😁

Thank you so much for requesting, Nonnie, I’ve been having so much fun with these Masters of the Air requests! I loved getting to write for our best boy Bucky 🥰 Shoutout to @blurredcolour’s Trust fic (an absolute masterpiece, check it out y’all!) for helping with the writers block on this one 😅 (Reminder that requests are open! Feel free to check out some of my favorite prompt lists in my pinned post 😊)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Oblivious

“There’s my favorite nurse!”

You rolled your eyes at the phrase that announced John “Bucky” Egan’s every visit to sickbay.

“Hello, Major,” you said, turning to greet him with a mock-exasperated smile.

Bucky clutched a hand to his heart as if wounded, a hurt expression on his face. “How many times do I gotta tell you to call me Bucky, sweetheart?”

“At least a few more times, Major,” you reply, unable to hide a smile at the usual volley of friendly banter.

Major John Egan had been unusually friendly to you since the first moment he’d sauntered in to introduce himself to the medical staff as Air Exec. Your colleagues had blushed afterward and playfully insisted that he had paid you more attention than the others, but you just laughed and shook your head, insisting that he was just being nice.

This visit was simply another instance of Bucky being friendly to you; well, that and Harry Crosby’s airsickness had gotten the better of him again and he was checking up on the navigator.

You stepped aside as Bucky approached Harry’s cot, ready to update him on the goings-on since the last mission had returned.

He threw you a kind smile before perching on the stool next to Harry.

“How’s my girl treatin’ you, Crosby?”

Harry happily told him how the base had gotten a new shipment of airsickness pills and you had slipped him a spare box for his own personal use, and Bucky’s smile grew wider and wider.

You were glad to see how happy he was at the news that his friend was feeling better, and you quietly excused yourself to tend to the other patients.

Bucky sighed as you walked away.

“She still hasn’t picked up on it, huh?”

“No, Croz, she hasn’t.” sighed Bucky, “She thinks I’m just bein’… nice or friendly or something. Which I am!” He added hurriedly, “But I just…I like her so much. I wish she’d notice.”

“She will, buddy,” Harry replied, with a comforting pat on his friend’s hand, “She will.”

Bucky headed out after a few more minutes of conversation, giving you a wink and a smile as he walked past your station.

“Bucky visited again, huh?” Rebecca, one of your fellow nurses, sidled up next to you with a teasing grin.

“Yes, Major Egan came by to visit Lieutenant Crosby,” you replied, putting emphasis on their ranks.

“You’re sure that’s all he was here for? Somehow he never shows up here without an excuse to see you…”

“He’s just being nice, Becca,” you insisted, “You know how these soldier boys are.”

“But he’s always—”

“Becca,” you cut her off as gently as you can, “I really don���t wanna talk about this anymore.”

“Alright, alright,” she held her hands up in surrender, “Bucky is an off-limits topic, gotcha.”

The conversation turned to the current hot gossip, and you idly chimed in when it seemed appropriate, losing yourself in your routine tasks.

Rebecca broke off to check on Harry again, narrowing her eyes as she noticed Harry watching you.

“Something Nurse L/N can help you with, Crosby?”

He jumped, gaze darting to Rebecca as she approached.

“No ma’am, I just…”

He scrambled to think of some excuse, but all he could come up with was: “I’m trying to think of some way to get Y/N to notice Bucky!”

Rebecca blinked in surprise, then plopped down onto the stool next to his bed, leaning in conspiratorially.

“Oh thank goodness it’s not just me! He’s been at it for months but the poor girl’s just so oblivious…”

“I keep telling him to just talk to her like a normal person, but he insists on dancing around it!” Harry instantly agreed, glad to have someone besides Jean to talk to about this. “He’s been so distracted lately. If he doesn’t do something soon, I’m worried it might start to affect his flying.”

Rebecca pressed her lips into a thin line, twisting a strand of hair worriedly.

After a few moments of quiet, she spoke up again, green eyes sparkling with mischief.

“I’ve got an idea.”

———

“Hey Bucky,” Harry said at breakfast the next morning, “I’m gonna pop down to the infirmary to visit Winks, wanna come with?”

Bucky quickly agreed— he’d been meaning to check on Winks yesterday as well as Croz, but got caught up in… well, you.

As they entered, Bucky made a beeline for Winks while Harry caught Rebecca’s eye and gave a subtle nod, which she returned, signaling her part of the plan was complete.

She had removed the step stool you always used from one of the supply closets, now hidden under one of the cots nearby. When you weren’t able to reach something on one of the higher shelves, well…

Good thing Bucky was so tall.

“Y/N, would you mind grabbing some more bandages for me? My station’s running low.”

“Sure thing, Becca!” You called, stepping away from your current station to check the supply closet.

“Becca…” your confused voice called from the closet, “Do you know where the stepstool went?”

“It’s not there?” She called back, sounding equally confused. “Let’s see, um…”

She scanned the room, putting on a good show of looking for someone who could help.

“Oh, Bucky! Would you mind helping Nurse L/N grab something from the supply closet for me?”

“No problem, Becca,” came his reply, accompanied with his trademark winning smile as he nodded to Winks and made his way over to the supply closet.

It was much smaller than he’d anticipated, and barely half a foot was all that separated you as he asked, “Alright, what do ya need, sweethea—”

The pet name was cut off by the sound of the supply closet door closing.

And locking.

You lunged for the handle as Bucky reached up to turn on the single lightbulb, both of you calling out in confusion.

“Becca! What?”

“C’mon, guys, this isn’t funny!”

Harry’s voice came through the door, clear and determined.

“Just tell her how you feel, Bucky! Your tactic clearly isn’t working!”

“I— what?” You turned to Bucky, hoping he knew what in the world they were talking about.

Bucky hesitated, but seeing as it seemed he had no choice…

“Well this isn’t… exactly how I wanted to do it, but…” He took a deep breath, twisting his fingers together in an uncharacteristic display of anxiety, “I really like you, doll. I’ve liked you since I first laid eyes on you. And I’ve tried every way I know how to tell you, but nothin’ worked, so…” He gestured around at the supply closet, “I guess it came to this? Which wasn’t my idea, by the way. Just for the record. I would never…”

His voice faltered, and you realized just how close you were to him. You didn’t remember moving forward. You were just suddenly there, so close the two of you were almost breathing each other’s air.

“You… you like me?”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Doll, you think I call every pretty girl workin’ here my favorite nurse?”

You flushed at the compliment.

“I thought you were just being nice, I didn’t…”

“I mean, I was bein’ nice,” He said with a shrug, grinning, “Just not quite in the way you were thinking.”

Bucky’s eyes flicked down to your mouth, and being this close to you, he couldn’t hide the bob of his throat as he swallowed nervously.

“I’d, uh. I’d really like to kiss you right now, if that’s alright with you, sweetheart.”

You nodded slowly, “I think I’d really like that, Major Egan.”

“It’s Bucky, sweetheart,” he murmured softly as he leaned in, capturing your lips.

You may or may not have spent more than a few lonely nights in your bunk imagining what it would be like to kiss Major John Egan.

Your imaginings were nothing compared to reality.

This was magic unlike anything you could have dreamed.

Your arms wound around his neck as his wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. You toyed with the dark curls at the nape of his neck as he slanted his mouth against yours, deepening the kiss. Needing to be closer, you tried to step towards him, but merely succeeded in pressing him back against the shelves.

Ordinarily you would apologize, but something like a thrill ran up your spine when you felt him grin into the kiss as his back hit the shelves, knocking rolls of bandages and boxes of gauze onto the floor.

His right hand moved to cup your cheek, keeping your lips connected as his other hand splayed across your back, pulling you impossibly closer as you arched into him.

You could still feel him grinning as he murmured against your lips, “Knew you were feisty under that good girl act.”

“Bucky,” you whined softly as he pulled away from you, chest heaving.

“Oh, now she uses my name,” he teased breathlessly, bumping his nose playfully against yours.

The two of you flinched as sunlight spilled into the dim closet, a harsh change from the dingy yellow lightbulb you had become accustomed to.

Harry and Rebecca stood in the doorway, wearing twin smug grins.

“Looks like our work here is done,” Becca said, shooting you a wink as she bid farewell to Harry with a two-fingered salute, “Pleasure working with you, Lieutenant Crosby.”

“Same to you, Nurse Carter,” Harry replied, and he turned back to the two of you, a genuine smile on his face.

“About time, Bucky.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky waved off his friend’s I told you so, “You gonna congratulate me or what?”

“Congratulations,” came Harry’s mock-put-out reply, accompanied by a genuinely congratulatory clap on his arm. “You got a good one. And it only took months of unsuccessful flirting—”

“Hey, I got her in the end, didn’t I?” He squeezed you closer, grinning down at you.

Your lipstick was all over his mouth, and you’re sure the Victory Red on your own lips was in no better shape.

You couldn’t bring yourself to care, however, as he pulled you in for a tender kiss.

Which you broke for a moment to point out, “He isn’t wrong, you know, it was months of unsuccessful—”

Your teasing was promptly cut off with a “shush” mumbled against your lips as Bucky silenced you with a kiss.

[intuitively-her]

Pile 1)- This is someone that you've closed a cycle with. This person feels like they fumbled so badly with you. I feel like this person was more focused on money, so they put you on the backburner a lot. You are EVERYTHING that this person wants. They didn't realize what they had until it was too late tho. This person wants to start over with you. I feel like they're literally feening for you to come back.🤣 They're like, "I need to talk to him/her NOWWW👹". Lmfao. Especially if you have this person blocked or you left them on delivered. They will find a way to contact you even if they're blocked. My advice: don't let them back in so easily. make them work for it.💋

Pile 2)- Mutiple people have their eye on you right now.🤭 Firstly, I'm picking up on someone from your community. This is someone that you see pretty often. This could be a co-worker, classmate, neighbor, etc. For someone specific, you may see this person at your local grocery store a lot. You make this person soooo nervous. They might stutter when talking to you lol. I don't see this person coming towards you anytime soon tho. They think that you're out of their league, so they just prefer to admire you from afar for now. The other energy that I'm picking up on is someone that helped you work through something or came to your defense in a situation. This part will only resonate for a few of you. This person could be a doctor/therapist/ or work in law enforcement. This is someone that you've known for a while. This person could be apart of your friend group or they're just a mutual of yours. They have watched you go through a glow-up and transform. They love this new you.😍

Pile 3)- This is an ex fling/sneaky link. You know that this person is not good for you AT ALL. This person was non-committal af. Ewww I don't like their energy. This person is a f*cking DOG, and they don't try to hide it either. This person brought a lot of unnecessary chaos around you. They definitely had you in 3rd party situations. I wouldn't be surprised if their other partners knew about you as well. They were very messy with their affairs. It makes me think of that movie "John Tucker Must Die". This person is exactly like that lmao. They may have asked you for a 3sum in the past, or they would flirt shamelessly with others in front of you. A real piece of 💩. My advice: NEVER let them back into your energy. They never deserved you.

Pile 4)- This is someone that you're trying to move on from. You may be giving them the silent treatment right now. I feel like this person breadcrumbed you A LOT and failed to give this connection any effort. They were more focused on making money. You should also know that this person is still dealing with another connection that they are trying to close out. This person recently made a judgement call about you. They feel silly now that they wasted so much time and basically lost their shot at ever having a real relationship with you. My advice: trust your intuition when it comes to this person/situation.

*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*

💖Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!💖

[actiniumwrites]

𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇

synopsis: in which you find out the truth about lyney’s identity

characters: lyney x gn!reader

wc: 695

warnings: pure angst, established relationships, breakups, reader has a past with the fatui, mentions of physical harm and death, major spoilers for the 4.0 archon quest

notes: i am officially in writers block and want to die because of it. also, i know this idea is a little old since the quest came out a few weeks ago, but i still wanted to write something about his identity. also, yes, i would forgive lyney, but this blog has not seen pure angst in awhile so…🙂

“You were never going to tell me, were you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you finally break the silence. Your arms are crossed as you lean back against one of the brick walls of the Opera Epiclese. Lyney stands approximately three feet away from you.

He’s silent, unable to answer the burning question. It’s been on your mind all night ever since Furina had so proudly announced it to all of the court. Lyney was a part of the House of the Hearth. Part of the Fatui.

“I can’t lie to you,” he carefully picks his words, terrified of further upsetting you.

Cutting him off, you scoff and turn away from him further than you already had, “What? Like you haven’t been lying to me this entire time? Real funny.”

Lyney takes a single step closer to you.

You take one back.

“Please, I wasn’t lying to you. I just left out some parts of the truth, that’s all, I swear!”

“You are part of the Fatui, Lyney. The Fatui! How can I trust you when you’re part of an organization who hurts people, kills people, even,” you frown. Not a single part of you isn’t affected by the hurt you feel. He hears the way your voice is beginning to break too, like the truth of it all is finally beginning to set in.

His hands come together as he pleads, “I promise I’ve never hurt anyone, not ever! Not everyone and everything in the Fatui is evil.”

For the first time tonight, you turn toward him and look him in the eyes. Your arms become uncrossed as you feel anger fuel your every action, every thought, every feeling. Walking toward him step by step, you hold out a finger, digging it into his chest as you speak, “You don’t get to pick and choose when you’re a part of something dangerous, Lyney! I don’t care if you aren’t the one doing the killing or the hurting, you still help them. What about all those people I told you about? My friends and family who got hurt by the Fatui? Did that mean nothing to you?”

He watches as tears form in your eyes at the mention of them. Of course he remembered, how could he not? The day you confided in him about your past and all the misfortune that you were dealt by the Fatui was eternally engraved in his mind. The organization who had taken so much from you that you swore you would find a way to end it one day, even if it meant dying. You had laid everything out to him and the entire time he was on their side.

You take two more steps back from him, voice shaking as cave in on yourself, “No wonder you were so quiet that day. God, and here I was thinking you actually cared.”

“Please don’t say that,” he whispers, tempted to reach a hand out to you, but not willing to scare you off. For all he knows, this could be the last time he ever sees you, “I care about you so much it hurts me. I really was horrified by the things you told me, I promise you that. Understand that I’ve only ever been talking to you as just Lyney. Your Lyney.”

It takes everything in you not to run into his arms and forget all of this is even happening. Give into his pleading words and return to who you thought was the only person who had ever really loved you. You want to pinch your arm to wake yourself up from the cruel nightmare, but somewhere deep inside, part of you has already accepted the truth and the fact that there is no universe in which you could accept his true identity. And so you take one final look at him before you take your final step, allowing the tears to fall from your eyes as you bid him a permanent farewell.

Lyney would never forget the final words you spoke to him. Four words that managed to break both your hearts more than the truth had.

“You’re not my Lyney.”

[the-universal-sun]

Little Lee coping with being overstimulated from Halloween/trick or treat, please and thank you!!

(Sorry this is a bit late! I’ve been really busy these last couple of days! I think I’m going to make this one an attempt at a fic Drabble instead of head canon bullet points. I’m not sure this is 100% what you’re asking for, but please let me know!)

It was so loud. Everything-everybody-was so loud. And bright. Bright and Loud was all Stan could process. The people talking to him, the itchy feeling of the warm under shirt Sixer made him wear under his werewolf costume. It was all too much. He wanted the noise to stop, for people to stop talking at him and down to him and expecting an answer. An answer he can’t give because he can’t speak, not like this, not when he’s small and his tongue feels like it can’t move in his mouth. He can feel his breathing pick up, he starts rocking on his feet to calm himself but it’s not working right now.

He looks at his big brother, hoping Sixer can pick up on his need to leave and for everything to stop, but he’s talking to someone about something he can’t bring himself to hear. He doesn’t want to bother his brother, he doesn’t want to make him mad. He never gets mad at him, but he doesn’t want to push him, not right now and not right here. He can feel the tears prick at his eyes, his lip wobbling. But he can’t cry, not now! Not here! Not in front of all these strangers who’ll know and who’ll make fun of him and ruin this good thing he has! He likes feeling little. He has to leave now, to get away. He lets go of Ford’s hand and darts off, his muscle memory moving him around the bodies surrounding him and bringing him to a quiet area of trees, the houses around it are dark, so there’s no one here to trick-r-treat, to see him and talk to him and make more noise around him.

Stan lets himself collapse against the tree, hands blocking his ears, rocking back and forth, his breath hitching and heaving and sobs wracked his body, tears fogging up his glasses and getting the taste of salt in his mouth. He cries silently, a lesson he learned a long time ago, and waits for his big brother to find him. He needs his brother to take him home and comfort him, but he ran off and what if Ford’s mad? He broke two rules! He left Ford and he didn’t tell him that he felt too much at once! But he can deal with him mad because he’s all alone now and he’s scared and alone and wants to go home now! But he can’t go home because Ford isn’t here, and he’s not supposed to go anywhere without him when he’s little, but he did! He broke the rules!

Stan’s sobs get heavier, quiet wails leaving his throat as his thoughts start spiraling and spiraling. His breathing picking up to a pant as he starts clutching and pulling at his hair.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“It’s so nice that you’re still trick-r-treating with your brother at your age! I can barely get my kids to eat dinner with each other, and they’re not even teenagers yet-“ Ford smiles through the mindless babble of the woman in front of him. He stopped paying attention a long time ago, but experience lends him the knowledge that walking off as someone’s speaking to you tends to sour their feelings towards you, and he can’t have that while he’s with Lee. The people of Gravity Falls love him, and they don’t question them on the rare occasion that he takes Stan out around town when he’s regressed, like now. They just assume they’re doing some brotherly bonding or that Stan’s like that sometimes because of the deal with Bill or the memory gun. He doesn’t care to expound upon their theories, he doesn’t want them to know the real reason. Sure the kids, Soos, and Melody were fine with Stan’s regressing, but they’re family, he doesn’t know nor trust the rabble of Gravity Falls, all that matters is that they like Stan and he’s going to ensure they keep liking him. So he has to behave.

He takes a glance over to his brother and furrows his brow, Lee looks overwhelmed. He can feel his hand clutching his own even more, and his eyes have this far off look, one he gets when he’s overstimulated and is trying to hide it. He turns away from the woman to check on Lee more thoroughly when he rips his hand away and runs down the street.

“Stanley! Stop, what are you doing!” Ford yells as he immediately drops into a sprint after Stan, briefly losing him in the crowd of people huddled on the sidewalks. He needs to find Stan and do it quickly, he doesn’t want him to have an attack out here, all alone and vulnerable. He must’ve been so scared and overwhelmed to have run away from him like that. Why didn’t he notice the signs sooner? Why didn’t Stan give him a sign and let him know? He would’ve left in a heartbeat!

“Stanley, Buddy! Come on out, it’s Sixer, you’re safe with me!” Ford calls out as he gets to a less populated area of the neighborhood, hoping the nicknames will draw him out. He can feel himself starting to panic now, he scared for Stan. He doesn’t care if people find out about his brother's regression, but he knows Stan cares too much about it. Plus, he could be hurt, or could really be lost, or that blasted Trickster could get to him! He needs to find Stan soon.

Ford stops for a moment to catch his breath, hunching over his knees and trying to collect his thoughts. He needs to be logical and rational about this. His thoughts pause, however, when he hears a faint sound. He quiets his own panting and stopping, trying his best to hear the sound again. And he does, it sounds…it sounds…it sounds like Stan! It sounds like Stan when he gets so upset, he can’t silence himself, the muffled moaning wails that come out of his throat always breaks his heart to hear, and it still breaks his heart now, but at least he can find Stan with the sounds! He darts to his right, where he heard the wailing, and sees a cluster of tree near the darkest part of the street, the houses are all empty with their lights out, giving the tree cluster darkness and privacy away from snooping eyes.

Ford slowly approaches the trees, hearing the wailing get louder and louder the closer her gets. He spots Stan on the ground, furiously rocking back and forth, a self soothing habit he’s had since they were in elementary school. He slowly approaches him, not wanting to spook him and make him run off again.

“Hey, Lee? It’s alright, it’s just me, it’s Sixer. I’m here and everything’s going to be fine. Shhhhh, it’s okay, we are going to go home, get cleaned up, and I think an early bedtime is in order. Does that sound alright?” Ford likes the phrase every “command” he gives as a suggestion, something he learned early on in caring for Stan. Commands remind him too much of their father and of his decade of the streets, where he had no control over his life. Making anything that could come across as a demand a suggestion gives Stan the freedom to choose, to not remember those bad times.

If Stan heard him, he doesn’t give any indication. Rocking back and forth and whimpering, his hands almost tearing at his hair. Ford slowly gets down onto his knees beside Stan, reaching out with his hand and trying to set it on his brother’s shoulder. Stan whimpers and flinches away, an act that breaks Ford’s heart. He stops his hand from moving further, “shh-ing” Stan and talking in a soft and low voice, trying to calm him down.

“Lee, are you okay? Are you hurt? Or was everything just a bit too much, hmm? It’s okay, Bubs, you can tell me.” Ford questions slowly, trying to get Stan to focus on his voice rather than his thoughts. He figured Stan got overstimulated, but it wouldn’t hurt to check and make sure he wasn’t physically injured.

“…m’ so..ee” was the faint response he got from his brother. Stan was sorry? For what!? Stan had nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all!

“For what? I can’t think of a single reason for you to apologize, my Little Lee.” Ford reaches his hand out again, and Stan lets him rest it on the back of his head, hand sliding down to smooth his hair down and clutch his head.

“…I w-ran away…n’ I did’n say I was feew-feeling b-bad…” Stan’s panting as calmed down, but he’s still crying and hiccuping with each word. There’s a couple reasons his brother doesn’t speak very much when he’s little. He’s said he find it hard to move his tongue, he doesn’t feel the need to speak that often, and that when he does speak, he will flub his words, which Stan thinks makes him sounds too much like a baby. Ford disagrees of course, he thinks Stan sounds adorable when he speaks like that, but he understands the lack of need/want to speak at times, and he’d never force him. But he will revel in everytime he does speak. Except this time, of course, when his little brother is so panicked and overwhelmed he has to formulate words around a heavy tongue and heavier vocal cords.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Oh, Lee. I’m not mad that you ran away, or that you didn’t tell me you were feeling unwell. In fact, I’m sorry.”

Stan looked over at Ford at those words, why was he sorry? He didn’t break the rules, Stan did. Stan should be getting punished. His breathing slowed down with his thoughts, and his brother must’ve known what they were from his face.

“I’m your caregiver, Stanley. I’m supposed to look after you, to make sure you’re doing okay, especially in times like this, where you can easily get overstimulated. So yes, I’m sorry, Stanley, I’ve been remiss in my duties, my responsibility, to keep you safe. I’m so sorry.” Ford looked so sad, the look on his face made Stan’s chest ache even worse. Ford shouldn’t look like that! Ford shouldn’t be sorry! Stan should’ve let him know everything was becoming too much! It’s his fault, so why is his big brother sorry!? He doesn’t understand!

Stan leaned into Ford and vigorously shook his head, signaling his disapproval towards Ford’s apology and pointing at himself instead. Telling him that Stan should apologize.

“Oh, dear one, you can’t think this is your fault? Oh please don’t give me that look, I know you have trouble using your words, and I should’ve predicted that you’d get overwhelmed and kept a better eye on yo-!” Stan interrupts Ford by clapping his hands over his mouth and shaking his head again. Trying to Will himself to speak, but his tongue kept failing him, frustrated tears gathering in his eyes instead of scared ones.

Ford wraps his arms around Stan and pulls him into his lap, settling himself further on the ground, and rocking his back and forth as he gently pats his back. He slowly reaches up with one hand and wraps it around Stan’s wrist, removing his hand from his mouth so that he may speak.

“How about this, we both could have done better, and we’re both sorry, and we will work on our communication together so that we can avoid a situation like this again, is that good?” Stanley could continue to argue that he was wrong, but his Sixer’s rocking was better than his own, and now that he’s calmed down some, he’s feeling really sleepy.

He nods slowly as he reaches up and rubs at his eyes, feeling his brother laugh underneath him. He settles further on Ford’s lap, nuzzling his head into the crook on his brothers neck, letting out a deep sigh. Mind slowly drifting off with his brothers gentle rocking and soothing pats in his back. His mind barely picking up words as he drift further into sleep, arms clenched around Ford’s neck.

“I’ll take that as an agreement, my sleepy Little Lee. It’s alright, I can carry you to the car, you can go to sleep. Shhhhh-sh-sh-shhhh.” Stan starts to snore just a little, his eyes feeling too heavy to open, his head weighed down too much to nod. Instead, he puts two fingers down to form his favorite sign and gently taps his hand and Ford’s head in a well practiced rhythm of “tap…tap…tap…”

“And I love you too, my precious little brother.” Was Ford’s answer, Stan too deep into the throes and sleep to acknowledge it, but a small smile forming in his face anyways.

[w2beastars]

Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 24.

Paru is back at it again!

Meet South the Iguana.

South is a twenty-nine year old lizard. Saying he is an alcoholic might be an exaggeration... but he very much have an alcohol problem. Having sensitive skin and living in a very warm area, South needs to stay hydrated, but he choose to mainly drink beer instead of water. Partly because of how it affects his skin but also o make it easier for him to not think about his problems.

But then his excessive drinking is cock-blocked by a penguin inside the beer fridge... Still not the weirdest thing I ever wrote.

Yeah, a baby penguin somehow ended up in the store where South gets his favorite brand of beer. To stay cool in the very warm area South lives in, the little guy is now inside the beer fridge and refuse to leave. Begrudgingly, South takes the little penguin to his small apartment so the shop can stock up on beer again.

Having a guest in his home for the first time in ages, South realize that his place is not just dirty, it is rather empty. He sleeps on a mattress, has a fridge for his beer and food and a microwave oven for his meals. His home is about as pathetic as he is.

As South thinks about how his life is kind of a fart, we learn something... shocking about this iguana.

Something that you have never seen before in Beastars OR in Beast Complex. Something so odd that you might find it revolting. It will make you wonder if Paru was even more unhinged than she normally is while making this comic!

You see, South...

... was in a relationship with a female WHO IS THE SAME SPECIES AS HIM!

Trust me, dear reader. I'm as shocked as you are! A Beast Complex character who was NOT dating an animal completely different from them?!

What madness is this?!

Okay, seriously speaking.

We get some good ol' Paru symbolism as we see that South's life has for a while revolved around his fridge. Or rather, what is inside it. It got out of hand to the point that his (same-species?!?!?) girlfriend dumped him and his boss feeling so sorry for him that he makes him take a break instead of downright firing him.

So South drinks when he gets anxious. But his increasing drinking makes him more anxious, which results in him drinking even more, making him more anxious and so on. As he thinks about his boss and ex, he once again gets "thirsty" and practically tears his fridge oepn.

South would probably end up as a drunken waist... if not for his new "roommate."

See, the thing about depression is that you often ends up alone, either because the people around you lose their patience or you choose to be alone. And when you are alone with a minimum of interaction with the real world, you stop caring about the small things like cleaning your home, a proper diet and your economy.

Best thing to do is actually to be useful somehow. Like doing voluntary work or getting a pet. Or in this case, a penguin in your fridge. If you are of use for someone else, you feel a little better about yourself.

And that's what South is to the baby penguin he has named Sam(a reference to the Japanese word for "cold"). The two of them can't really talk since Sam is a sea animal and has a entirely different language.

Whenever South has his panic attacks and go for a beer, he is instead met by the fluffy little bird in the fridge. So South has to clean the fridge for penguin poop and also spend extra hours in his part-time job since he spends more money on electricity because of Sam being inside the fridge. As the days pass, South finds himself acting like, well... a functional adult.

One day, South gets a reason to panic again as he realize that Sam is losing his white coat and looks skinny instead of fluffy.

If you know a thing or two about penguins, then you will know that there is nothing to worry about. But South knows jack shit about these birds, so he rush him to a hospital on his bicycle.

On their way, they pass the ocean... and we get this majestic moment.

There was nothing to worry about, Sam is just growing up and losing his fluff, finally ready to leave his nest and get in the ocean.

A pair of dolphins are luckily near and South has managed to learn to speak a little sea language so he can ask the dolphins to escort the young penguin to Antarctica.

Despite Sam having left his apartment, South still have a little of Sam in his fridge as the penguin sends him letters on pieces of ice.

So South's life still revolves around his fridge so to say, just in a much healthier way.

This was such a nice tale about a guy rebuilding his life by having to be dependent for someone else.

... Even if South is a freak, dating a fellow iguana. BE A FURRY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, SOUTH!

I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[seeingivy]

mine 

satoru gojo x f!reader 

in which you decide to fake date your coworker, to get your parents off your back for a few months. can you continue on when the two of you start blurring lines between fake and real?

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

- 

“You’re going to fake date your boss?” 

You smack Itadori across the back of his head, signaling him to talk quieter. 

“You’re going to fake date your boss?” he asks, whispering this time. 

“He’s not my boss, he’s just a coworker.” 

“You’re going to fake date your coworker?” 

You nod, reaching over to finish the leftover pancakes on Itadori’s plate. The three of them narrow their eyes at you, matching disapproving looks on all of their faces. You swear they practice it together when you’re not there. 

“You’re in over your head. This isn’t going to fix your problem.” says Nobara, picking the strawberries off Megumi’s plate, much to his dismay. 

“But, it is. My parents will lay off my back for a little bit, actually let me finish this clerkship without criticizing me every ten minutes. He gives them something to brag about in their circles, actually taking their focus off of pestering me.” 

“You know they’ll just take to criticizing him instead of actually laying off of you. Be practical, Y/N” says Megumi.

“Plus, how do you know he’ll even do it?” 

“Excellent question, Itadori. He needs a fake girlfriend just as much as I need a fake boyfriend. His parents won’t let him take over the firm if he doesn’t find a good match to perfect their company image. He said an aspiring lawyer matched the image, so it all works out.” you respond, finishing off the last of Itadori’s food. 

“You already asked him? And he agreed?” 

You nod in response, pulling out the contract you and Satoru had drafted earlier. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. No romantic or sexual interactions with other people during the duration of the contract? No showing your face to the public unless both parties are present. Attendance at all firm related balls, galas, conferences. No telling other people. ” 

“Contingency plans, Kugisaki. It helps make sure we both stick to our deal.” 

“You just broke a rule.” deadpans Megumi. 

“You guys don't count.” 

Megumi and Nobara roll their eyes at you, with Itadori wishing you sincere luck in your endeavors. 

-  

You look around the room, craning to find where Satoru had run off to. He had left you at the bar, promising that he would return after he went to the bathroom.  You already know he’s having diarrhea from that cheesecake he ate earlier. 

You and Satoru had been fake dating for a month and a half now. Just as you predicted, your parents had gotten off your back, taking to their social circles to brag about how you were dating the son and future successor of one of the most esteemed law firms in all of Tokyo. As for Satoru’s parents, they had eased up on their criticism of him, Satoru swearing they’ll give him a real promotion any day now. You were a positive influence, they were beginning to trust him more. Your role at the firm was expanding as well, being assigned bigger projects and cases to work with as time went on. 

As for the two of you, you guys were getting closer. After spending virtually every day together - driving to work together, eating lunch at the block nearby, going on dates at night - the two of you had grown close. Too close for your liking. 

He was funny, unlike any other guy you had met in the past. While he seemed pretentious and immature when you first met him, you were pleasantly surprised to find out he was anything but. He was caring, compassionate, loving. You were convinced he was an angel in disguise, because no normal person could live and laugh that much. 

The truth is he was growing on you. More than growing on you, you felt the presence of him being cemented into your routines, unable to go on without him. You couldn’t go to Mochicat without buying some kikufuku for him, you couldn’t go to the store without him there to reach the high shelves for you, you couldn’t go to sleep at night if he didn’t send his “goodnight beautiful fake gf :D. have a sex dream about me” text. 

You feel a cold hand on the shoulder, your heart pounding at Satoru’s return. 

“‘Toru, you’re back. I was wond-” 

You turn to face him and realize you aren’t talking to Satoru but to Surugu, your beloved ex-boyfriend. He’s all dressed up, his hair grown out and secured into a bun at the top of his head. You put a step between the two of you, his hand falling from his place on your shoulder. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Come on, babe. Is that anyway to treat your old friends?” 

“We aren’t friends, Suguru.” 

“Don’t make a scene. Let’s share a drink. Old times sake.” 

You glare at him, not backing down from where you were standing. You can feel an uneasy pit forming in your stomach, the sight of him bringing on a wave of nausea. Where’s Satoru when you need him? 

You and Suguru dated for three years, almost four years ago now. The two of you had started off as friends, both attending university in the states, with Suguru in medical school while you were at law school. 

The two of you had become close very fast, becoming closer than most friends were. You later found out there was a term for what he was doing, very cleverly named “lovebombing.” You spent almost everyday together and when you weren’t together, you were texting, calling, facetiming each other. He swore he couldn’t go a second without you. 

Eventually, the two of you started dating, your friendship leading into a relationship between the two of you. You had opened up to him, telling him things you hadn’t told other people before. You swore you were in love with him, feeling like he was the only person you could be yourself with. You gave yourself to him, letting him into every little part of you. 

Things changed when he moved to California to do his residency. The two of you did long distance for four months, until you realized he was no longer interested in you. After confronting him, he mentioned that his new girlfriend, Sophia, made him happy, in a way that you didn’t. You had no idea he had a new girlfriend. You didn’t even know that you had broken up. 

He said he was unsure of how to break up with you, he thought you understood the situation when he left. Despite this, the two of you continued to talk for a year after that, Suguru saying that you would always be his best friend, someone who could never be replaced in his life. He would come back to New York on holidays, the two of you spending the week together. 

You could have sworn he still loved you, deep down. Every time he came to see you, he’d hold you in his arms, kiss you like nothing had changed, made love to you like you were the only one. However, he’d return to Sophia at the end of the week, eventually saying your relationship with him made her uncomfortable, cutting any ties you had left. The two of you never spoke again. 

Until now. 

“I can’t. I have a boyfriend.” 

“So I’ve heard. Sleeping your way to the top suits you well.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I heard you got the Initech Case the other week. Quite a big case to give a junior associate. Do you really think they would have given that to you if you weren’t sucking junior Gojo’s dick? Though I suppose it’s no shock. You always did have trouble getting things on your own.” 

You feel your blood rushing through your ears, clenching the wine glass in your hand so hard it shatters. The sound of the glass has everyone turning their heads, to find you fighting back your tears with a bloody hand. 

You spot Satoru at the door with a concerned look plastered on his face. You can see him maneuvering through the people, trying his fastest to reach you. Before he can, you run to the closest door, moving up the stairs to exit to the balcony. 

- 

You pull up the side of your dress, placing your aching feet into the cold water of the pool. Your hand had stopped bleeding a little while ago, the red still smeared down the length of your arm. You use your uninjured hand to make ripples in the pool, the water moving through your fingertips. 

“Oh, thank god. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 

You turn to find Satoru, unlacing his dress shoes and taking off his socks next to you. He sits at your side, placing his feet in the water. You feel him looking at you in your peripheral vision, but you refuse to meet his eye. 

“Sorry. Needed a second.” you respond. 

You feel his hand on the side of your cheek, lightly lifting your face up to look at him. You look up at his blue eyes, filled with concern, and can feel the tears you willed down rising up again. You see his expression tighten at the sight of your tears, it finally pushing you over the edge and bringing your tears on in full flesh. 

You feel his arms wrap around you, your face tucked into his neck as he rubs small circles into your back. You can feel him whispering into your ear, shushing you as you sob against him. After a few minutes, your tears subside, your breath still shaking against him. 

“What happened, bug? You’re breaking my heart here.” 

“Did you give me the Initech Case just because I’m dating you?” 

You see his eyes widening, a frown setting on his face. 

“What? Of course not. You got the Initech Case because you’re best suited for the case. I didn’t even have a say in that decision” 

You rub the back of your head against your nose, rubbing the excess tears off the side of your face. 

“Do you think Yaga gave it to me because I’m dating you?” 

“Bug, what is the Initech Case about? 

“Abuse of power dynamics. Hana’s suing her boss, Daiki, for taking advantage of his position to make advances on her.” you respond. 

“Right. Hana requested female counsel, specifically. She wanted to make sure she had someone who wouldn’t talk over her. But, Shoko’s still on leave till next month. You’re the only other girl at the firm.” 

You’re quiet, turning back to face the water. You guess you were the only one who could do that case. But you can still hear Suguru in the back of your head, every horrible thing he said and did to you flooding your mind. 

You feel his arm snake around you, his temple resting around yours. He stares down at the water with you, your reflections staring back at the both of you. 

“Work with me here, bug. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

You swallow hard, his blue eyes glimmering in the reflection of the water. His arm is warm, the polar opposite of Suguru’s frozen hands. You decide to jump. 

“I’m tired of things not being mine.” you whisper, heart pounding. 

You feel his hand reach the side of your face, brushing your hair behind your ear.  

“When I got into college, my parents took the credit, saying I wouldn’t have gotten there if they hadn’t tutored me and used their connections to get me there in the first place. When I got into law school, the boss I used to intern for asked me for a ‘well deserved kiss’, saying I wouldn’t have gotten in if he didn’t write me the letter he sent them. When Suguru left me, he said he was better suited to Sophia, because she owned him the second he met her. And now, I land a big case, work at an impressive law firm, but I only got here because I’m dating you. I just want something to be mine.” you say, your head in your hands. 

He’s quiet, his hand still brushing across the side of your hair. The two of you sit there in silence for a while, Satoru pondering over your words. 

“In grade school, my first friend, Saiki, told me that he had only let me play with him because my parents had asked him to before we walked into class. In high school, I created a non-profit with my friend, meant to help incarcerated people find resources that would help them land jobs after being freed. When the non-profit took off, he took all the credit, stating that all I did was finance the project, when it was actually my idea. When I decided to work at the firm and become a lawyer, people turned down any interest I showed at other companies - they knew I was going to end up at my dad’s firm anyways. Nothing I ever do is mine either.” 

You turn to him, looking into his eyes. 

“But it doesn’t matter.” 

“What?” 

“They’re going to say that about me regardless, bug. But does that really change what’s happening? Saiki will still be my friend, and play tag with me on the field. I still came up with that idea and my non-profit still helps people, even if my name isn’t on it. And I’ll still be a kick-ass lawyer, even if it’s at my parent’s firm.” 

You soak in his words, letting the thoughts cross through your mind. 

“I would still like to have some things to myself, Satoru. Things that are just mine.” 

“And you do. Those godforsaken friends of yours, especially that grump little weirdo, that ugly ass cat, that disgusting green hoodie you own-

“Hey.” 

“And me, of course. Those things are just yours.” 

You smile at him for including himself in the list. You interlock your fingers with his, forgetting about the blood smeared all over your hand. He looks down, opening up your hand to tracing his fingers along the cut. He lifts your hand up, pressing his lips against the cut. You feel your skin burn at the contact, his soft lips brushing against your hand. 

“Did you just try to kiss it better, Satoru?” you ask, feeling breathless all of a sudden. 

“Did it work?” 

“No.” 

You look up at him, a smile plastered on his face. You swear your hand is shaking in his hold. He rolls his eyes, bringing his arms closer to yours, holding your face in his hands. The tips of his fingers brush through the sides of your hair, as he leans forward, his lips pressing a kiss on yours. 

Every other kiss you had shared had been in the presence of other people, attempting to make your faux relationship look more realistic. But this was something else. The kiss was soft, slow, nothing like the rushed pecks the two of you had shared before. His lips are soft, warm. You swear you can taste the dessert he was eating earlier, his lips sweet. You can feel his hands lowering to rest around your neck, a smile forming on his mouth. He breaks apart, your face still in his hands. 

“Did it work now?” 

“Maybe.” 

He laughs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

- 

“You were flirting with her! In front of me, Satoru. And then you left me there at the table, sitting alone.” 

“No, I wasn’t. She was just going to introduce me to her dad,” 

“Why do you suppose that means? What else was she supposed to think when you told her you liked that dress and that you would love to be a part of the family?” 

“It was a compliment! And you know what I meant, we’re trying to secure a deal with them.” 

“So you admit it? You were trying to lay the moves on her as a business tactic.” 

“Oh my god, Y/N. So what if I was? It helps the company if they share their cases with us.” 

“And what about me?” 

“What about you? You know your parents would love it if you got some big case with Soyin Paradigm.” 

You pause, realizing you and Satoru aren’t arguing about the same thing. You knew the lines had been blurring recently, ever since the night you had spent at the pool and every date afterwards, but you never realized how far apart the two of you were standing. He was still focused on the promotion, the cases he could get. He didn’t care about you. You turn your back to him, running out the door and down the stairs to the street. 

You hear him behind you, calling out your name to come back. You make it halfway across the street before he catches up, him blocking you from walking any further. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

You pinch yourself for what you’re about to say next, bracing yourself for the goodbye. 

“I think we’ve both fulfilled the terms of our contract. Your parents trust you and gave you a bigger role at the company like you said they would. My parents have enough to brag about for a few years. I think we should call it quits.” 

You stare up at him, his eyes boring into yours. 

“No.” 

“What?” 

“Why are you running away from me? What did I say?” he says, his grip on hands intensing. 

“Nothing. This day was bound to come anyways, Satoru. We couldn’t go on like this forever.” 

“Why not?” 

“It’s fake, Satoru. I mean hell, you’re still flirting with other girls for goodness sake. You don’t even like me.” 

You see anger flash in his eyes, his hands moving up to your shoulders. 

“I don’t like you?” 

“Yes, Satoru. You don’t.” 

“Do you remember that night, when we sat by the water? I’ve been hopelessly in love with you since then. Every time I look at you it’s like the first time. Your stupid jokes, your ugly ass cat, the smile you only save for me, you’re literally everywhere. I tried to get the thought of you out of my mind, but I can’t. I can’t find a thing not to love about you.” 

You feel your mouth dry at his words. He can’t find a thing not to love about you. He loves you. 

“Come on, now. You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine, bug.” 

You feel your heart glowing at his words. You grab him by the collar, pulling him down to press a kiss to his lips. You feel him smile against your lips once again, his arms snaking around your waist. The two of you kiss - soft, sweet, slow - your hearts beating together. He tastes sweet, the taste of the strawberry mochi he had after dinner still lingering on his lips. You break apart, your cheeks tinted pink. 

He smiles at you, running his finger across your lips. You lock your hand with his, the two of you making your way back to the apartment you had just ran out of. 

“You wanna know something embarrassing?”

“Hm?” 

“You have a crush on me, bug.” he says, smirking down at you.

“Okay?”

“That’s embarrassing. You have the hots for me” 

You roll your eyes, shutting the door of your apartment behind the two of you. 

- 

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

[parappaadventure2q-a]

READ: @alex-silli-art-corner

tw: suicide, abuse

I'll start this callout by saying that most evidence has been deleted long ago. There is no way to recover most of it, but if I have found any more, I'll add them to this post later. My friendship with him/how it ended.

It started in March of 2024.

Alex had been a member of a discord server, and had a tumblr account where he answered asks as Katy Kat. (Keep this in mind, as sometimes he will be shown as Katy Kat rather than Alex) He then asked for a vent channel to be created in the discord, where he would post frequently about how he was going to kill himself. (this is important later)

He started to DM me about him killing himself, so I started to support him. He would then message me about normal stuff, with him telling me he was suicidal every now and then. I talked with him, because every time I didn't talk to him, he would say i'm ignoring him on purpose.

Around that time, someone else in the server was banned for drawing CP of him and Alex. (both him and Alex were minors at the time.) Everyone in the server told Alex that this person was not a good influence on him, but he ignored us.

As it turns out, he did not cut off this person, (the name that's in blue) and kept being in a relationship with them.

This would continue for a long time. Alex would tell me he would kill himself, I would try to talk him out of it, and he would be fine the next day.

He said he had epilepsy, but those claims are unconfirmed as he has watched the Um Jammer Lammy cutscenes multiple times, which have flashing lights most of the time. If I remember correctly, he would use this to guilt us even more, with us not even being allowed to send any gifs. That would be understandable, if he didn't refuse to turn on Discord's accessibility feature that pauses gifs.

In his Katy Kat ask blog, he drew a lot of gore of Katy Kat. Some of these are deleted, but you can still find some on his account of Katy missing an eye, with bruises and bandages on her. I am not okay with gore, but I kept talking to him because he was suicidal.

All of my friends cut him off though, except for a stray few who I assume didn't know what he did.

When I cut him off:

About a month ago if I can remember, one of my friends showed me screenshots of Alex saying that one of his suicide attempts was a lie. He had apparently made a joke about him killing himself, and the two people there were telling him it wasn't funny and to not say that. This screenshot was taken a while back, and I didn't see the convo back then. Seeing this, I decided to cut off Alex entirely, because I couldn't trust if what anything he said was true. On top of that, I looked back at everything he'd done, and decided that I wasn't going to talk to him, ever again. He kept trying to contact me.

I noticed how guilt trippy all of his messages were. In fact, most of the time, he was guilt tripping all of us.

This is his last tumblr message to me before I blocked him.

He kept trying to contact me on other websites, such as Reddit.

I had sent him a message telling him he was in the wrong, and that we would never be friends again. This message was deleted, as he threatened to share it with one of my closest friends.

As for the IP address thing, I had posted this meme to Reddit and Tumblr using a fake copypasta that was a lot of information. It's a meme about leaking someones info, but all of this isn't real. It's taken from a copypasta website. In fact, it's this one.

Alex interpreted this as me posting his IP address publically, something I would never do, (yet as you read, it's something he would do to someone else.)

I did not, and will not post someone's IP address publicly. Yet he thought I posted his, even though it isn't hard to look at your own address, and compare it to this meme.

What caused me to make this post.

This happened just today. I was sent an ask clearly written by Alex containing my personal information to me.

Alex. If you're reading this, which I know you are. This wasn't okay. You're putting my life in danger. You're putting other's lives in danger. You're putting my family's life in danger. Why would I want to be friends with a guilt tripper?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who leaks other's information?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who draws gore of my favorite characters?

Why would I want to be friends with a liar?

None of this is okay. You were, and still are, the worst thing that's happened to me.

You don't deserve happiness.

I ask anyone who's been affected by him, to please speak up. Don't sit there in silence like you have all this time. I know he's done awful things to you. Please, if you can, tell me what he's done to you. Nobody should have to go through what he's put me through, and I'm sure that he's done something similar to you.

Sorry for being a bit rude to him in this post, but I don't care.

[chishiyaisasnack]

First time

Hello people! Long time no see. I’ve been suffering from writers block. But now I’m back. Thank you @v3lv3tf0x for the request 💗

I have worked on this fic for about 4 months now I think. It was hard for me to write a serious fic. I usually put in jokes and make everything light hearted, but I wanted this one to be different. That’s why it’s taken so long.

I see y/n (the reader) as 20+. Not as a minor. You can read it however you want though. I also want to mention that loosing your virginity isn’t something that needs to happen in your teens, or even in your 20’s. It’s not uncommon for it to happen later in life. There is no rule to when you should have sex for the first time. Or even have sex at all. Everyone has their reasons to why they haven’t done it, or why they have. Take a deep breath and don’t blame yourself if you feel like you are too old to be a virgin. You are not.

I also chose to make the reader experienced with their own body. Aka masturbation.

Disclaimer! This is a chishiya x fem!reader smut about reader having sex for the first time. Don’t read it if you are to young or uncomfortable with the topic.

”Ugh, I don’t want to die a virgin.”

A simple sentence. A few words that you weren’t planning on saying in the first place. And worst of all, Chishiya heard every single one of them.

”Why is that important to you?” Chishiya didn’t even look at you as he answered, he just kept gazing at the dark night sky in front of you, spanning over the abandoned city of Tokyo that spread out under it. It was just the two of you up on the roof again. It had been a few more people but they had all left already. You weren’t even sure why Chishiya was still here with you. But he was, and you weren’t bothered by it for once.

He had asked why you wanted to survive in this world, why you needed to go back to the real world again. Maybe he just needed some validation, that you didn’t need to be someone special to want to live. Maybe his will to live wasn’t because of some heroic dream, maybe he just wanted someone to not have a big reason. You sure didn’t. You didn’t have any big dreams or plans for your life. You didn’t have someone special to get back to. You just wanted to experience more, live more. And somehow having sex for the first time was the first thing to come out of your mouth.

”I don’t know…” You hesitated a bit before continuing, slight embarrassment creeping up on you. ”It’s just something I want to do, it just hasn’t happend yet.”

”Hmm” Chishiya hummed back, still not responding the way you thought he would. You though that he would at least look at you, maybe question why you were still a virgin, tease you a bit over it. But no, he just sat there, seemingly not caring at all.

It’s not like being a virgin was what embarrassed you, you weren’t ashamed of it. You had your reasons. But talking to Chishiya, out of all people, about your (non existing) sex life was enough to colour your cheeks red.

”The beach is full of horny people” he finally continued, his eyes finally turning towards you.

”People would be lining up.”

There was the signature smirk. He was having fun with this. You were never going to hear the end of this, would you?

”I just… I don’t know, I just want it to be with someone that I trust. That I know won’t hurt me. It doesn’t have to be romantic, it can be casual, but I just want to feel safe I guess.” You took a second to gather your thought before continuing.

”I don’t want it to be with someone I just met.”

You observed Chishiya’s reaction to your words, his eyes sparkled under the night sky, hair flowing lightly in the wind. He looked curious, not teasing but like he wanted to hear more. The way he stared at you almost made you shy, it was like he was trying to read your thoughts through eye contact alone. The silence kept growing, making you squirm a bit to break the weird tension that was hanging in the air. Why would he be interrested in hearing this, it’s not like he would be up for it. It was Chishiya - the annoying, cunning, uninterrested, sarcastic, selfish, smug, arrogant, obnoxious…

”Then how about me?”

———

It had been an hour. Sitting outside of the courthouse, waiting impatiently for Chishiya to return from the game that you begged him not to go to.

”I have to go, my visa is almost out. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Chishiya’s words hadn’t been comforting in the slightest, instead they just made that knot of anxiety and worry in your stomach grow until tears were staining the ground you were staring at. Why were you crying? He’d be back soon. Probably. Hopefully. The blimp with the game card was still flying over the courthouse, displaying the king of diamonds for everyone to see. Why did he have to choose a king card, why would he risk his life again, why didn’t he… Oh.

You instinctively put your hand over your face to cover it from potential debris that fell from the now exploding blimp above you, but it didn’t fall anywhere close to where you were sitting, leaning against a lonely tree that were shaking from the blast impact. Or was it you that was shaking? You couldn’t tell anymore.

For a second you hesitated to remove your hand from your face. What if he wasn’t on the other side of it? You hadn’t seen anyone else walk into the game area, so he could be all alone in there. Alone and injured. Or worse. You clenched your eyes shut at the thought. You couldn’t lose him - he had to be alive, he had to come back.

”Are you trying to hide from me?”

That knot in your stomach unraveled and turned into tears as a gentle hand pried away yours, revealing Chishiya’s calm, and slightly amused, expression when he crouched down to look at you. Your tears had turned into full on sobbing as the tension in you released. The relief that you felt was overwhelming. He was back, he was safe, he didn’t seem to be injured.

When the tears finally stopped you let him take your hand and help you off the ground. You must have been still shaking because in the blink of an eye you felt a warm zip up hoodie fall over your shoulders and a pair of hands zipping it up.

”Shall we go back?”

—————

The walk back to the hotel that you had set up camp in felt like an eternity. Every step was heavy, both with relief that he was back and safe, and with dread that this possibly wouldn’t be the last game you had to play. There were still blimps flying around over Tokyo, face cards that killed more people than ever before.

It felt like hours before you finally reached the room. All you wanted was… actually, you didn’t know what you wanted. It was exhausting. Even just standing there, staring out the window with your hands in the hoodies front pockets.

”Are you okay?” A low voice floated through the thick air around you. When did he get so close? You could swear that he was standing by the door just a second ago. Now, he stood in front of you with questioning eyes staring right back into yours. How were they so captivating? Dark, curious, a hint of worry.

You didn’t have time to comprehend what happend in the following second, all you knew was that two arms wrapped around you and a warm body was pressed against yours. Soft breathing tickled you neck, a soft chin laying on your shoulder. Wait, was he hugging you? It took you a moment to take it all in, but when you did you swore to yourself that you would never let go of him ever again. You let your hands grab a hold of his t-shirt, black fabric bunching up between your fingers, and buried your face in his neck, the smell of him instantly calming your nerves.

You could feel his fingers running soothingly along your shoulders, drawing circles and shapes as he pressed you closer to him. Emotions that you’d never felt before welled up inside you.

”I can’t lose you.” It was just a whisper leaving your lips but every word had so much meaning to them.

Chishiya moved his head back and looked at you with a million different emotions in his eyes but a stone cold look on his face. Had you said too much? Did you get this whole thing wrong? But he hugged you, he comforted you, he-

Then he kissed you.

A million waves of electricity went through your body all at once. It sizzled out from where his lips met yours and flooded every part of you. Forget butterflies, your body felt like it was on fire. All the emotions inside you, all the anger and sadness that you had been holding onto to act strong, erupted with a passion that you had never felt before.

You weren’t the only one to feel that way. Considering how hurried his breath was when his lips came off yours to give you a chance to back off, the quiet gasp he made when you tugged on his hair and pulled him back in, and the strength his hands grabbed your waist with to get you just a little closer - he was just as lost in the moment as you were.

Warm fingers were caressing the back of your neck, raking through some strands of hair, tracing your earlobe and moving down your neck until he hit the zipper of the hoodie and you felt your heart skip a beat in anticipation. For a second you thought that he was going to pull it down, but to your disappointment he didn’t. Chishiya’s hand left it and landed on your waist again, still eagerly kissing you back and pressing his body against yours. Was he trying to be gentle? To not cross any boundaries? Or was it because you told him that you hadn’t had sex before and he didn’t want to rush you? You couldn’t tell. The only thing you knew for certain was that you sure as hell did want more than kissing him and that you weren’t afraid of letting him know.

The kisses grew more intense by the second, it felt like you couldn’t get enough of him no matter how close to him your were or how much you were touching him. You wanted more. You wanted him. If he wasn’t going to take the first step then you would, because the growing need in your stomach was becoming unbearable. Was this what it was like to want someone? It was unlike anything you had felt before, all consuming and powerful, almost drowning out the nervousness that hid somewhere in the back of your mind.

You moved one hand from his neck to pull the zipper down the hoodie. The sound of it made Chishiya react and he let your lips go to stare into your eyes. He was still so close that you could feel the heat radiate off his skin, onto your already burning cheeks.

”We don’t have to do anything” he whispered in a voice so raspy that it made you weak in the knees.

You hummed and shook your head, not having the patience to answer and instead focusing on pulling his hoodie down your arms and letting it fall to the floor, all while looking back into his dark eyes before taking a step back. He watched your every move so intensly that you had to look away before being swallowed.

You didn’t hesitate when you pulled the hem of your shirt up, revealing bit by bit until it was going over your head and falling down, joining the hoodie. He didn’t hesitate to place his lips on yours, kissing you gently before trailing them down you neck.

Slowly, he kissed his way down your shoulder, his fingers gently pushing the bra strap down before his lips followed, leaving a row of goosebumps that were soon covered and soothed under warm lips. Those lips that you had watched so many times, watched and wondered how they would feel like, those lips were pressing against you, so soft, so warm, and so much more than you could’ve ever imagined. Your eyes fluttered closed, instead focusing on how his breath spread over your cheek when he came back up from pushing down both straps. You were hyperfocused on his every move. His hands inching up your waist until they reached the bra clasp, his thumbs running right below it before unclasping it, his hair tickling your cheek… It was all so much - but still not enough. This feeling of wanting someone so intensely was new to you and it was taking some time to wrap you head around it. The logical part of your brain was telling you that the sound of your bra hitting the floor meant that he had full access to your upper body and that you were topless and vulnerable, showing more of yourself than you let anyone see. Yet, the ball of need simmering in your lower stomach made you so calm, so sure that you wanted him to see you. To touch you. And you wanted to touch him too.

He didn’t make a new move, just stood there looking back at you, waiting for your response. You could tell that he was just as impatient as you were, especially considering that hard thing you felt pressing against your hip. It was making you dizzy with excitement that you made his body react like that.

Leaning forward, you put your forehead against his and closed your eyes. His breath was still calm, soothing the nerves that were still in your chest. A hand ran through your hair, long fingers threading through the strands, making you shiver.

”I want you” you whispered against his lips.

Not even a second later his lips were crashing into yours again. There were no slow start, no soft touches, it was hot and desperate and it was taking you by storm. You were so focused on his tounge sliding against yours that you didn’t even notice that he was moving you towards the bed, not until you both spun around and the back of your knees bumped into the matress.

After some struggling to get your limbs to work the way you wanted them to, your head hit the pillows and gave you a clear view of the man that now sat between your legs. He had a clear view of you too, which he clearly enjoyed. His eyes wandered all over you, from your hair that was splayed out under your head, to you neck, breasts (where they lingered a little longer) and down your torso. Before you had the chance of getting too flustered he took his eyes off you, only to pull his t-shirt over his head.

He was beautiful. The closest thing to shirtless he’d been in front of you so far was with his hoodie on, unzipped enough to tease your curiosity with how smooth his chest looked. More than once you’d found yourself observing the small beauty marks scattered over him and more than once you’d wondered how they would feel under the tip of your finger. Now he was here, in front of you with his whole torso on show. Soft lines, more tiny dots, a trail of black hair leading downwards - begging you to follow it. The light shining through the windows made his skin glisten and almost appear golden.

He let you look, let you take in the sight of the captivating man in front of you. You could feel his eyes burning on your face as you reached in, your fingers landing on his collarbone, brushing over it and making their way down his chest until you reached the dark hair trailing to unknown sights. He was just as soft as he looked. Muscles danced under you hands when you stroked them along his waist and ribs. The tent in his pants were evident and you hard to force yourself to not stare. You didn’t know the proper etiquette for how to observe someones dick for the first time, but you knew that Chishiya would definitely tease you forever if he caught you drooling over it already. Caught up in your thoughts about how long staring at someones crotch was still considered normal, you almost jumped when he leaned down and placed his lips on yours again. The weight of his body on yours, and the warmth of his skin made your toes curl. It was such a different feeling, being enveloped by another person. It was comforting and so, so breathtaking. Your fingers tangled through the blonde strands as you pulled him closer to you, only to have the kiss interrupted with a smile, before he placed them on your neck instead. Neck, collarbone, chest - his lips wandered all over you. He lingered when he reached your breasts, one hand carefully cupping one while his tounge ran over the other. You could feel goosebumps spread over you, the sensation so new and so electrifying. You wished he would’ve stayed there longer, but he was in a hurry, desire was probably clouding his mind as much as it did yours. After a few gentle kisses on your stomach, he looked up at you while hooking his fingers under your leggings and underwear, silently asking for permission to remove them. You didn’t think twice before nodding and giving him a quiet ”yes”, cursing that they were still on you and not on the floor already.

The normally calm Chishiya was everything but calm now, dragging the remaining clothes off your legs and throwing them somewhere behind him, his eyes fixated on what he was revealing. You could feel your cheeks heat up again but the desire in you was stronger than the shyness. Without breaking his gaze, he hurrid to remove his own pants. Your eyes followed the trail of hair under his navel, lower and lower and… Oh.

You knew what dicks looked like, you weren’t that innocent, but you had never seen one in real life and certainly not this close in front of you. It was so hard, visible veins running along the shaft, leading up to the tip which seemed to already be wet. Was it supposed to look a bit angry? Then you realised that, oh shit, you were staring at his crotch as if it was some rare animal in a zoo. Just like you told yourself you wouldn’t. And of course Chishiya seemed amused by how intensly you were studying it.

”Do you want to touch it?” he offered with a hint of playfullness, raising an eyebrow at you while the corners of his lips twitched in an attempt not to grin at your eagerness.

Yes. Yes you did. You really did. It didn’t go unnoticed by Chishiya who quickly helped you up so that you were sitting so close to him that your knees were touching. As soon as you felt the heat of him again the lust that had lingered in the air came back down onto you with a vengance. Chishiya’s smile was gone and instead he was eyeing you, reading your every reaction.

”Here,” he whispered and reached out for your hand, taking it in his and guiding it back until they were both wrapped around him. ”Like this.”

It was warm. Smooth. Hard but still soft under your touch. You followed Chishiyas slow movements, up and down, and back up again until he released his grip on you and let you move freely. The world was quiet around you, making the hurried breaths falling out of Chishiya’s mouth loud in your ears. You wanted to know what other sounds he would make. Running your thumb over the tip earned you a small gasp, rubbing it just under the head gave you another one. Would he moan if you ran your tounge over it? When you pried your eyes away from his length to look at his face you were met heavy eyes and open lips looking back at you. He was feeling good, you could tell. What was even more amazing was that it was you that was doing that to him. He was feeling good because of you. You wanted him to feel better, so you started moving your hand a bit faster, feeling how he got wet under the palm of your hand which made your movements smoother. His breath was speeding up even more and you even heard a soft groan in the back of his throat. A groan that went straight into your core, fanning the already burning flames.

All too soon, Chishiya took your hand again and removed it from his length, disrupting your enchantment and almost making you sulk over that it ended that fast.

”Lay back down” he murmured with a strained voice, gently pushing you backwards while following on top of you. As soon as your head hit the pillows his lips met your neck, followed by a whisper just below your ear.

”I want to touch you too. Can I?”

”Yes” you whispered back, excitement mixed with nerves stirring up inside you.

Chishiya didn’t waste any time before lifting himself off you a little and sliding his hand down your body, caressing every part of you on his way down to where you were silently begging him to go. You gasped when you felt his fingers slip in between your legs, to run a line over your folds before dipping down between them, easily sliding through the wetness. His eyes never left yours, he was observing your every reaction to his fingers finding your clit, making soft circles that sent jolts of electricity through your body. It felt heavenly.

You had touched yourself before, plenty of times, so you weren’t inexperienced with that part. However, the feeling of someone elses fingers were a whole new kind of pleasure. How could you ever go back to doing it yourself when he made it feel this good?

Chishiya switched up his movements every now and then, making you squirm underneath him as he circled your clit, drew lines between your folds - and then finally pushing a finger into you. It was just one finger but it already felt better than anything you’d ever had there. With slow thrusts he pushed against your walls, finding your g-spot easily and grinning at you when you begged for another finger. He complied and pushed another one in alongside the first one, spreading them between the in and out motion to prepare you for him. Your eyes were squeezed shut and mouth open, breath hurried and that fire in your stomach growing steadily.

All too soon he removed his fingers entirely. You groaned at him, but when you opened your eyes you weren’t met by the smirk you thought you would see but with a Chishiya impatiently eyeing your chest. It was your turn to smirk now. When he noticed it, you could swear that his cheeks got a bit redder, making the cute flush on his face ever sweeter. But he didn’t let you enjoy it too much. You felt him wiggle around between your legs and realised that he was lining himself up, preparing himself to finally sink into you.

”Are you sure you want to do this?” Chishiya’s voice was filled with desperation. You had never seen him this affected by anything and it filled your heart with warmth.

Running your fingers through his hair and down his shoulder, you gave him the most secure look you could when you answered ”Yes, I’m sure” with full honesty. You watched him swallow hard at the answer.

”Okay” he continued with a low, sultry voice, sounding so good that it made your cheeks heat up even more. ”Tell me if you want me to stop.” Then you felt pressure against your entrance when he finally started to push into you.

For a moment you forgot to breathe. You forgot the whole world around you and the only thing in your mind was the overwhelming feeling of Chishiya, very slowly, sinking into you and filling you up perfectly. You dug your fingers into his shoulders, grounding yourself with the soft skin underneath.

”Are you okay?” Chishiyas voice was strained, but concerned, as he stopped his movements to check in on you.

”Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… a lot.”

”Can I move?”

You could feel his dick twitch when he asked, clearly enjoying being deep inside you. It was such a strange feeling, being filled like that, feeling every part of him. You wanted more.

”Please.”

With a careful pace he pulled back, almost out of you, before pushing back in. His eyes were glued on your face, observing every expression you made - and you couldnt help to stare back at him. He really was beautiful. Silver hair falling down the sides of his flushed cheeks, full lips open and waiting to connect with yours, and those eyes that hid so many things yet gave away so much at the same time. He was hovering right above you, close enought to feel his entire body against yours but without putting his weight on you. He was so warm. So soft.

Chishiya quickly found a good pace, rocking into you with a steady rythm that made small whimpers leave your mouth in time with every push against your sweet spot. You couldn’t help but to put your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you until his lips were back on yours, soft but needy. The delicious drag against your inner walls combined with his lips against yours made your head spin. Was it supposed to feel this good? Shouldn’t it be more awkward? You didn’t know. And you sure didn’t care either. All your senses were filled with Chishiya. His warmth, his smell, his quiet moans forming in the back of his throat once he buried his head in your neck.

”Fuck, sorry, I’m gonna come.” Chishiyas voice was rough as he was apologizing, even though there were nothing to apologize for. A wave of electricity hit you in the pit of your stomach at the thought of him feeling that good. That you made him feel that good. Instead of answering you decided to cross your legs around his waist - a wordless act to ask him to keep going. And he did.

Chishiyas thrusts started to become a bit erratic, abandoning the steady pace he had before and giving in to his body’s wishes. It didn’t take long until you heard a soft moan, followed by his hips stuttering, cock twitching and warmth filling you up inside.

You both stayed still like that for a while. Your hands raking through the back of his neck, puffs of his hurried breath mixed with soft pecks on the side of yours. You two were a panting, sweaty mess as you laid tangled together on the bed, but you didn’t want it any other way. You savoured every last bit of it before he lifted himself up on his hands and slowly pulled out of you. The sudden emptyness made you wince, already missing the fullness and connection he had given you.

You thought you were done, happy to lay back and bask in the afterglow of this experience, but Chishiya seemed to have other ideas. Even though he moved off of you and laid down on his side, he kept his lips on you, placing lazy kisses on your neck and shoulder. You felt his hand travel down your stomach, soft caressing until he reached the apex of your legs - and it wasn’t until then that you realized that he was going to try to make you come too.

”Wait” A soft whisper from you made him his action and look up at you with a confused look on his face.

”But you didn’t get to come” Chishiya answered more as a question than a statement, but removed his hand and placed it back of your stomach.

”I don’t need to. That was amazing”

”Are you sure?” He still wasn’t convinced, which made you quietly laugh.

”Yes I’m sure.”

”Fine then” Chishiya rolled over onto his back, still close enough to your that your skin touched. In the corner of your eye you could see him smirking while staring up at the ceiling. His hair was a mess, some strands standing straight out, but he was still gorgeous laying there. You wondered if he knew how pretty he was. Probably. And he most likely used it as a manipulation technique. Wait, why was he looking back at you, and why was the smirk bigger than ever.

”So, I guess you can die happy now”

[nomoreusername]

Blind Jealousy (Part 2)

Pairing:Newt x female reader

Summary:Later that day, you find out that Greenie will never be around to bother you again.

I woke up to find myself still in Newt’s arms. He had his arms wrapped around me as I was cuddled into his neck.

My head hurt. The outburst and confession from last night took a huge toll on me. Even though I had been desperate to get it off of my chest, it didn't feel the way I expected. I was just sort of numb. While some of the weight seemed to be off my shoulders and the self blame had pretty much disappeared, I was still afraid. I don't exactly know what Newt meant by “take care of Greenie”.

I trust him. We’ve been by each other's side for so much, and I could never see one of us just leaving the other. Even if we get mad at each other, we always make up. Whether that means spending some time apart until we’re ready to talk about it and come up with a solution, apologizing before it can get to that point, or giving in and holding each other until we go to sleep, we make sure to work it out someway. We love each other way too much to let an argument pull us apart. Besides, we don't even argue enough for it to be worth it. We always make it through any bad time and come out so much stronger when things are absolutely amazing again.

That didn't mean I wasn't worried though. Greenie just got here so we don't know a lot about him. Plus, Newt was so vague last night. There was no telling what he had planned.

“Morning, love,”He yawned, running his fingers down my arm.

“Morning,”I mumbled, rolling over and hugging him, resting my head under his chin again. Letting out a small laugh, he pressed his lips to my forehead.

“You want to get up early and get some breakfast?”He suggested in a deep morning voice.

“No,”I mumbled, closing my eyes.

“You want to stay here?”

“Mhm,”I nodded. Lazily running his hands down my back, he stayed silent but still to let me know that they was just fine with him.

Laying with him, I kept taking deep breaths, inhaling his calming scent of the garden. It wasn't actually the smell itself that was calming. It’s the fact that I associate it with him. He’s always there. He always knows what I need, even if he panics or misundands for a moment. He always figures out what to do. Every problem is something we survive.

Whatever he was going to do, it was going to work out fine. Even though my stomach is still twisting in nervous knots, I'm sure of it.

♡ - - - ♡

It was insane. It was absolutely unreal. It was something I didn't know he was capable of.

Nobody knew what happened. As far as the story goes, Newt was just talking to Greenie and made a joke about his hair. This apparently set him off so much that he punched him in the eyes, bruising it. It was swollen, and he couldn't even see our of it.

I know that he could have blocked it. He was more than capable of handling himself. He was independent. Even though he loves his friends and me and is usually comfortable asking if he needs a hand, he knows how to look out for himself. He’s one of the strongest people here. Sure. Maybe Gally's got more physical strength but Newt’s mentality and emotional intelligence is through the roof. He can also take someone in a fight. I’ve seen him tackle out of control Greenis before.

He wanted proof though. He wanted his story to be as real as possible.

Greenis said a completely different thing. He told everyone that Newt was insulting him, calling him names and telling him he would never fit in here. He said that he was callous and threatened to hurt him.

Nobody believed him. Second-in-command, responsible, fair, brave, kind hearted Newt, being cruel to a confused Greenie? Newt randomly insulting anyone? That's just insane.

You're never supposed to harm another Glader. It's one of the only rules.

There's also an extreme price to pay if you break them.

I watched from a little ways away as the Keepers banished Greenie. They were trapping him in a circle, making it clear he wasn't escaping. Even though Greenie was blue in the face and screaming that Newt’s a no good liar who deserves to be murdered, he was ignored. To everyone, it was clear that he was trying to avaid punishment.

I watched as they pushed Greenie behind walls. Even though he was yelling and crying and begging and insulting, everyone tuned him out. They pretended he was nothing more than a Beetle Blade as they forced him behind the Maze walls, where he would never be seen again.

Newt took the knife and crossed Greenie's name off of the wall. He was completely calm and did so without even hesitation. He didn't even give anyone else a chance to do it. He just took the knife and erased Greenie from the Glade, forever.

Everyone walked away to go their work again. I however, set my now empty bowl down and walked over to him. He was simply humming to himself as he finished off. He didn't smile or show any sign of sadness. He was completely and utterly unbothered.

“Thank you, Newt. That’s the sweetest thing anyone's ever done,”I smiled, keeping my voice low.

“No idea what you're talking about, love. Just doing my job,”He shrugged, putting the knife down. Turning to face me, he held my face in his hands as he pressed a slow kissed my temple. Shutting my eyes, I savored the feeling of him being so close. He left a small touch of electricity on every part of my skin he touched. It wasn't a shocking or painful kind though. It was like ecstacy had been injected into my veins.

Pulling away, he threw me a subtle wink as he went to get ready for bed like nothing ever happened. Looking at the ground, I wore the biggest grin as I leaned against the wall.

Yeah. He definitely “took care of Greenie” alright. It was not in any way I could have ever imagined, but it was sure as shuck more than effective.

[wayfayrr]

By your side from day one <3

finally set aside some time to finish off wilds turn for being self aware, the smartest one who found a way to get out without breaking your tv and getting the glass shards of screen everywhere. I'll be back on requests and such soon though!! <3

[masterlist]

“Come on [name], you can’t be serious about missing out on plans just to talk to someone you don’t even know is real.”

“You say like I would want to go clubbing tonight either way, besides he’s said he’s just been working up the courage to video call.”

“And you trust that?”

They’ve got enough of a conscious to look a bit ashamed when I look at them, I know they’re worried for me but of all the things to be so worked up about this seems harmless. 

“What if I told you that he was messaging me and telling me to stop talking to you.”

“Can you show me the proof.”

“Well… no. he deleted them immediately afterwards.”

Are they just jealous? This is so unlike them that it’s offputting. I know they can get a little worked up when I get close to other people but accusing my online friend - accusing wild - of threatening them? It’s petty and childish. Are they afraid I’ll replace them or something? 

“Okay, alright. This isn’t going to make me cut him off you know?”

“[name]...”

“Reach out when you don’t feel like senselessly trying to cut me off from others. I’ll see you around.”

Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later, but if they don’t? It’s their own fault they thought they would need to sabotage my other relationships to get closer to me. They even have the audacity to call out after me as I’m leaving, still trying to warn me about him, like they can’t accept I would dare get close to anyone else. Not like it doesn’t feel awful potentially losing a friend like this, but what can I really do?

The trip home seems to pass in a blur, until I’m already collapsed onto my couch with a familiar notif going off on my phone. Opening it proves it is exactly what I expected it to be, a message from him, asking me how my day has gone showing me more care than nearly every other person in my life ever has. Not expecting me to drop everything on a dime for him, even if recently he’s been getting more possessive in his messages like he wants to be serious when I’ve never seen his face. 

- I’ve been decent, met up with a friend. Not much really, you? - 

- Had to do chores for someone I don’t like >:( wanna get away from everything tbh - 

- why not just up and leave? - 

- I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been planning something - 

Seems like the possessive streak has worn off now then, so I don’t have to worry about mentioning friends again. There isn’t even a reason he should be possessive of me though, unless he’s got a secret crush or something. Which I hope he doesn’t, he’s been speaking to me for barely a couple of weeks. 

- You free to call tonight? It’s been a while. - 

- I’m good rn if you are. I’ll just grab my headphones - one sec - 

- :DD perf perf - 

Honestly a call will be nice, I can just zone out for a bit, play some games and chat. It’s the perfect way to destress after everything that happened earlier, I still can’t believe they threw away our friendship over something so small. Maybe I should just block their number and drop them even if they do try and apologise, I don’t really need people like that in my life. 

“So then love, any plans for tonight?”

“I thought you said you were gonna drop calling me that?”

“It’s silly and you didn’t answer my question anyway.”

“Nah not really. I’m just loading up breath of the wild, been a bit since I’ve -”

“Oh shit.”

Has wild been link this whole time, wait - how did he get access to the internet, HOW IS HE SENTIENT?  

He’s just sitting in his hateno house, holding the sheikah slate like a phone and silently, through the switch anyway, talking. The look of horror on his face is gut-wrenching though.

“You - you…”

“Oh - uh - I mean. Come on love it’s not that bad is it? I - I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”

“I don’t think I want to deal with this right now… I’m sorry I just.”

The look of horror and shame shifted terrifyingly fast when he noticed me moving to turn off the switch, replacing itself with fear and anger before he steeled himself, and presses his hand against the slate’s screen?

…

He - he’s reached through my phone to grab onto my wrist. 

“No, don’t turn me off, I can’t go back to being just a voice. Please”

“How… how are you DOING THIS?”

“That… Isn’t what matters right now.”

His grip feels so nervous, he looks it too - which makes sense, I would probably be petrified if I lost my body just because I was trapped in a game. I can’t turn him off that would be cruel… he deserves better than that. 

It instantly lightened as I moved to sit back down, a sigh of relief echoing through both my tv speakers and my phone, as he let go the second I sat with his hand retreating through my unbroken phone. 

“Okay, you promise you won’t try to turn me off?”

“I won’t if you’ll explain.”

“That - that’s fair, I can do that for you love and - if I told you that I think I’ve figured out a way to get out? Would you let me live with you?”

“So that’s why you were so forward abou- yes you can. When you’ve explained everything. And made it certain you’re not planning to kill me because you’re scared of me sending you back.”

The reverb’s stopped now, which makes talking a lot more pleasant and less like he’s trying to intimidate me now, not that I blame him for it if I was about to condemn him back to that hellscape. I just, I really hope he isn’t trying to get out just to kill me, I don’t think I would ever be able to get over my childhood crush wanting to kill me even if he has every right to want that.

“What- No no I don’t - why - why would you think I would ever want to even hurt you let alone KILL. I - love I. I love you. That’s why I’m doing all of this - I - I.”

He’s crying. I should’ve known that he wouldn’t do anything like that - it’s within his right to - but he’s link, he’s the hero, the protagonist who was stuck to my side through it all. I know I shouldn’t have said that it wasn’t meant to be cruel but it was careless enough to hurt him. 

“I’m sorry, I came on to strong, you - you have every right to be scared of me. I promise though love I - I will never hurt you ever.”

“I know… I just panicked. You can explain now I won’t overreact again I swear. Or if you’d prefer -”

“If I would prefer..?”

“Why not get out first, then explain?”

Lighting up a firework in my face would have been less blinding than his smile in that moment, it’s such a sweet smile - a genuine one too. Meaning that I said the right thing, that I’m doing the right thing by giving him this chance. 

Hopefully, I won’t regret it.

“Really? You’ll let me do that?”

“I think it’s a good idea, it’ll be easier to talk to you as well. Just - how are you going to go this?”

“Um, oh, well uh, I think I could possibly make your switch into a mock version of a warp medallion? Then link my slate to it and just well”

“That makes sense, you can go ahead then, shouldn’t take long right?”

“No, no it won’t.”

A couple of seconds was all the wait it needed for him to stumble out of the blue lights and right onto me, clearly disorientated by the shift into reality. Probably not as bad as any of the 2d links would have struggled to be fair to him. It was an even shorter wait for him to jump onto me and cling even tighter than a koala could ever hope to, nuzzling up against my neck like it’s the only - because - it’s the only real touch he’s ever felt. 

“So you want to explain then?”

“Could we wait? That took much more effort than I thought. I just want to rest a bit if that’s alright.”

“As soon as you’re rested enough to. You going to sleep for a bit then?”

“No I still want to talk, just about something less taxing?”

Seems like he’s more dodging the topic than anything, which is fine I can get him to talk about it later, there really isn’t a rush for anything. It’s fine. Besides he’s like an excited kid that’s staying up way past his bedtime right now, where’s the harm in staying like this for a bit?

“Mind if I ask why you’re so determined to call me ‘love’ then?” 

“Because you’re everything to me, my light, my love, my life - you’ve been with me through everything. From when I woke to killing ganon and you didn’t abandon me there. You’ve shown me your favourite cities, stuck with me when you had the choice to choose others because you said I am you favourite, so really? How could I not love you?”

“You were aware even in Mariokart?” 

His giggle is sweet, he’s so charming right now, especially with how unaware of it he is. It’s so earnest and unfiltered, just so raw, I could go the rest of my life with that being the only thing I ever hear again. Compared to how he acted in cutscenes as well? He’s happy. Tired but happy.

“Oh before I forget, You should be expecting a delivery actually!”

“What.”

“I’ve been wanting to get out of the game for a while so I ordered some things to try make myself more appealing to you.”

“Like what? Link you didn't need to do anything like that.”

He just shrugged, seems like I won’t be getting an answer to that till whatever arrives whenever it does. Seems he really wasn’t lying about being tired though, he’s already starting to fall asleep laying against me like this. Thankfully he’s light enough to move to a more comfortable position, although theres nothing I can do about how tightly he’s holding me and truthfully? There’s nothing I want to do about it.

“Y’know I think I could get used to this.”

“Yo’ will I pr’mise, I’ll make you addicted to m’.”

“Well that isn’t ominous at all… and you’re already asleep.” 

[momentomori24]

Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.

[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]

*Being a murderer.

I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:

At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--

*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.

Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.

*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.

While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.

*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.

While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--

Speaking about not meaning what he says:

*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.

This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).

*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.

Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.

It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).

*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.

I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.

*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.

This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.

*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life

I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:

He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.

*Potentially working for Asunaro

This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.

Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.

That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.

*Being a predator

I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.

Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.

(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.

(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)

Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.

I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.

*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.

There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.

With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:

Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.

Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.

He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.

Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.

And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.