#blessings to keep eden safe

[lem0nademouth]

yall if eden golan wins eurovision i will cry it will be such a fucking triumph and victory for the Jewish community worldwide like there is no better embodiment of the Jewish spirit than “my existence made people angry and they called for my failure and suffering and death and then I won”

[kevindavidday]

i love that neil considers jean as part of the family he wants to protect. i will elaborate this time because

if you think about it, neil spent book 1 trying his best not to build a connection, book 2 trying to break down the walls ending with confirming from nicky if they were friends, and every second after that deliberately doing whatever was in his goddamn power to keep these people safe and happy. going to edens for andrew, keeping the truth from them, getting the letter back for kevin, reminding kevin that he owes jean a conversation after all that's happened, fixing the twins' relationship, spending time with them even though he knew he would leave. in his mind, what he was doing was selfish because he was going to die soon and they didn't even know it.

he doesn't die, though and he comes back with even MORE fight in him than before. he meets his uncle once and although his mother hadn't wanted him to be involved in one gang after another, he doesn't give a single flying fuck. the hatford's existence is just another resource for him, a way to hurt those who have hurt his family. stuart already killed his father, so what's it matter if there's a few more - protecting him means protecting his family. if the fbi had any clue about the power neil actually holds over the hatford's they would all willingly eat their hats tbh.

so the first thing he does when he sees his uncle again? despite knowing that ichirou is close-by? he tells him to kill proust.

hell, even the moriyama's are nothing to this man if i'm being honest. he isn't afraid of them, he knew the rarity of ichirou's visits which made him wary when he got into the car to talk about bargaining their lives and i truly do believe ichirou moriyama was fucking relieved neil didn't ask for more than that. there is that strange, dead look in his eyes that he's inherited from his father which unnerves the fuck out of everyone who doesn't know him. and when he bargained for his life and kevin's, he remembered jean too.

which is fucking insane. he spent only winter break with jean moreau, ONLY. i know there's extra days at the nest, but i'd kill to know what happened between jean and neil during that time for neil to have such unflinching loyalty towards his 'forever partner'. i want to know their conversations, i want to know what they suffered through together.

and the casual way in which jean dropped the news about grayson to neil, after hiding it away from everyone for so long. he admitted the truth to neil straight up, like of course neil should know, it's neil. jean's mind is still haywired to remember him too even though they were only together for a few weeks!!!

what is it about them?

and then the entire time otw to the diner, neil's plotting again. he's scheming. he's thinking. and he knows what to do. and its asking for local work because fuck anyone who has ever hurt his family. he literally only ever needs a fucking name, bro. 'my first memories are of people dying.' i think we can tell...

wymack saw that leadership potential and made him vice captain. god bless neil only cares about playing exy because if he had even a second more interest in crime he would've floored everyone. i can see it so clearly.

anyway, hope he takes a hit out on tetsuji moriyama next 🙏

[talesfromawannabejournalist]

History rewritten

"Once upon a time, there lived a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was a city that was inhabited by beings of pure light and goodness who maintained evil and worshipped all good. One of these angels was called Lucifer. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation, and beloved by many of his brothers and sisters, especially his father. However, he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders for they believed his ideas were dangerous to their order. So, he was forced to sit and watch as the elder angels began to expand the universe in their ways.

From the very dust that came from the planet called Earth, they created Adam and Lilith. From the moment they opened their eyes, they were told that they were made for each other. To be by each other side through thick and thin, through the good and bad times, until death do, they part. Unfortunately, the first two humans couldn't be more incompatible than they were. Lilith was headstrong and fiercely independent while Adam was incredibly loyal to Heaven and simply wanted to make them happy. However, they both had one thing in common, they both wanted respect and love.

They simply couldn't get that from either.

And it was like that until one day when everything changed. Lucifer had come into the gardens curious about the new humans. When he came across the first man, he couldn't believe what he was before his very eyes. A beautiful human crying his eyes out by a pond. Drawn in by the captivating creature Lucifer comforted him and the two spent their days in Eden falling deeply in love.

One day in the Garden Lucifer decided that on that day he wanted Adam to know what true free will was like. So, he offered the fruit of knowledge as a gift to him, which Adam gladly accepted. However, this gift came with a curse. For with this single act of disobedience, sin had entered the world with it a new era of evil came with it. And the order Heaven tried to maintain was shattered. As the angels came down to punish Lucifer but Adam stepped in and told them that if they were going to punish his love then he demanded that he be given the same punishment.

With heavy hearts, they did as Adam wanted and cast him and Lucifer into the dark pit that was created by the reckless act. Never allowing either of them to see the good that came from free will only the cruel and the wicked. That did not dismay the couple in fact it only brought them closer, while Lucifer lost his will to even have that dream, he had found a new one in his family. For soon after they established their home, they were blessed with a baby boy, Cain. and then soon after their son Able, and then finally a baby girl named Charlotte. Lucifer focused all his being into keeping them safe and happy.

As for Adam, he thrived as the Queen of their kingdom empowering any and all demons with his voice and his music, and as Hell's population grew so did its power. Adam's hope still remains to this day and hopes that his dream will one day be passed on to all of his children."

Adam closed the book he was reading to his daughter, saw her tired expression, and chuckled before getting off the bed, placing the book on the nightstand, and tucking her in. As he kissed Charlie goodnight his daughter asked him,

"Mama, what happened to Lilith?"

Adam paused and thought about what to say to his little one who was giving a sleepy questioning look with her adorable curious eyes. He sighed and said.

"I honestly don't know Hun, but from my understanding, Lilith eventually died and was placed in Heaven. Or at least that's my conclusion since we've never seen her down here."

Adam shakes his head before giving his daughter a comforting smile and continuing, "It's best not to think about it, now get to sleep, my little princess." Adam gives her one last kiss before turning off the lights and heading out of her room. Closing the door, he turns and sees his husband leaning against the wall with a contemplated look. As he stared at the other side of the walls. Adam cleared his throat and Lucifer looked at him before giving a shaky smile.

"Hey, honey I just came in to kiss Char-Char goodnight. Sorry I couldn't be there for story time, but paperwork can truly be a bitch to deal with ha-ha."

"Are you ok?" Adam asked while raising an eyebrow. Lucifer tried to reassure his queen but only sighed as he looked away, guilt eating at his insides like a parasite.

"I, I heard the story you told Charlie, I heard everything, and I... (sighs) You know that's not how it exactly went right?" "Yes, but I don't plan on ever telling them the truth, the full truth, because even though you were a selfish asshole then doesn't mean you're that same person now." Adam gives Lucifer a small smile before placing a hand on his cheek and turning his face gently towards him. "Now you are the gentle and kind father and husband who'd do anything for his family, including saying goodnight to our daughter quickly so he can give his queen a goodnight kiss as well" Adam winked before turning and walking away to their bedroom.

Lucifer smiles at the retreating form of the human-turned-demon and quietly makes his way into his daughter's room. he tiptoed toward Charlie who was fast asleep. Bending down he gave his little light a loving fatherly look while gently petting the top of her head. "I'm so thankful that you are my daughter more than anything Charlie. That goes the same for your brothers, and the same for your mother, I'm thankful for this family more than anything, and I'll do anything to protect this family through whatever means necessary." Lucifer said his voice barely above a whisper. Conjuring up one of Charlie's many stuffed animals he places it right in his daughter's arms causing her to subconsciously smile and hug the toy tightly. Lucifer stood up and with one last look teleported his way to his bedroom where his queen waited patiently for his arrival.

[aziraphales-library]

I’m obsessed with the powerful Crowley fics. Doesn’t matter if it’s he’s related to God, Raphael, hell knows or hell doesn’t know that he’s powerful. I’d love any recs!

We have a #powerful crowley tag. Here are some more to add...

The Power, The Rites by Shay_Moonsilk (E)

“Think of it as a play,” Crowley had urged, holding him close. It was their last conversation before Aziraphale was led away to prepare.

“But I’m not an actor,” Aziraphale fretted, “And if I’m not convincing - if I don’t make the others believe us-”

Crowley placed a finger on his lips to silence him. “Listen to me,” he commanded, and Aziraphale was helpless to obey, “I’m your demon, and you’re my angel. You’re perfect, and you're perfect for me. And I know you will be able to serve me properly in this because you belong to me. Say it.”

“I belong to you.”

---

In order to avoid execution after they helped stop Armageddon, Crowley engages in an ancient claiming ritual to protect himself and Aziraphale. Before the entire court of Hell, a demon prince claims his angel.

Rise by blueharlequin (E)

Crowley rescues Aziraphale from Heaven and discovers something he never thought possible

Uneasy Lies The Head That Wears A Crown by Buckets_Of_Stars (M)

After the failed Armageddon, Crowley isn't sure what to expect when he finally returns to Hell.

Being promoted a Prince by the Dark Council themselves, with Aziraphale being blessed as his dear Angelic Consort, isn't exactly what the ginger had in mind. As long as both him and his mate are safe and together, however, Crowley isn't going to complain.

Not one bit.

thunder that does not roar, lightning that does not strike by GenericUsername01 (M)

Remiel stalked around menacingly, because she was a very powerful and intimidating seraph and absolutely could not be snapped in half by this brand new cherub.

“So,” she said. “Like God said, I’m Remiel. I make stars, and I am of the Holy Seven. Don’t really see why I need a bodyguard. There’s no danger or anything, and I can take care of myself.”

Aziraphale’s human face frowned, and his ox head tossed and snorted, his tail lashing with fire. “I see.”

There Is a Light And It Never Goes Out by bongbuster420 (M)

"Crowley," Aziraphale slapped his book shut and turned to him with a worried glance. "Have you heard anything of Raphael recently?"

Crowley thought he might choke.

The Last Green Days of Eden by Gearsmoke (T)

Crowley has a secret he doesn't know he's been keeping, and in the midst of mutual exploration, Aziraphale is the one to discover it. It turns out to be a box of trouble rivaling Pandora's. Raphael is dead, murdered by his own kind, but Crowley is alive, and there must be justice.

Mind the tags on some of these!

- Mod D

[fireworksoverhell]

Kari

{{I figured I might as well introduce Kari so people know who she is. This'll basically be a repost of the info on her carrd + images}}

•°| Basics |°•

Age: Younger than Lilith+ Adam; Older than Eve

Gender: She/Her, Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation/Rank: Second Woman; Third Human; Sinner

•°| History |°•

- There are tales of a Second Wife Adam had between Lilith and Eve. One that didn't last long in Eden before being banished and replaced. (This is based off actual mythology I've seen)

- After Lilith left, she was created as a replacement, but was foolishly created In Front of Adam, not of Dust and Soil, but of Bone and Flesh and Blood, bit by bit, layer by layer, Out from bones to muscle and veins and sinew and organs and skin. It, understandably, traumatized him.

- The Angels decided to cast her from the Garden due to how her very existence was a trauma to Adam and try again, Choosing Adam as the human they would hinge their experiment on

- Sera was against casting the human woman out, she had done nothing wrong, she shouldn't be punished for something outside of her control. But it didn't matter.

- Kari learned during that decision that Neither her nor Adam really mattered, they were just pawns in whatever the Angels were planning, and as such, she didn't Blame him for her sentence.

- Sera didn't agree and so she went behind the Elder Angels' backs to try and ensure Kari's existence outside the Garden wasn't as horrible as it should have been.

- Sera named her, since the decision was so quick there had been no time to give the human woman a name. Kari, meaning Fortunate, Blessed and Free, was the name given to her. She was outside of the Garden and outside of the Elder Angel's influence. In that sense, she was Free.

- Kari managed to make a life for herself in the landscape outside the Garden, with Sera's help. And over time, feelings developed. It became a promise between them to wait until Kari made it to Heaven to pursue anything serious.

- Except she wasn't allowed even that much. When it was getting closer to her time, a discussion was brought up between the Elder Angels, and Sera, what to do with Kari's soul. If they had cast her from the Garden for the possible Trauma she would bring to Adam, why would they allow her into Heaven, into Paradise, where it was just as likely to Happen. No, she would be sent to Hell upon her death, regardless of the state of her soul.

- Sera of course tried to object, but there was only so much she could say without giving away her true motivations. Even stating that Kari hadn't even eaten of the Fruit and her soul was pure didn't change their minds.

- Kari was sent to Hell upon her Death and there was nothing to be done.

- Once Exterminations began, Sera reached out to Lucifer, saying she knew she had no right to ask anything of him but to please keep Kari safe, she didn't deserve to be there and she didn't deserve to go the way of actual sinners. Intrigued by the fact that there was _another_ first human, Lucifer didn't immediately agree, but did meet Kari in person for the first time. Lucifer and Lilith befriended her, lamenting that they didn't know she was outside of the Garden that whole time or they would have tried to find her. And of course granted her shelter during the Exterminations to keep her safe.

- Sera would send occasional gifts and letters to Kari via one of the exorcists she had established trust with to let Kari know she was still thinking about her, even so many years later.

•°| Mental Health |°•

- Kari suffers from very severe Body Dysmorphia. Because of her Creation and everything involved in that, she believes herself to be a Monster. Not that she's Ugly or anything, but that the very things that make up her body and existence are horrifying and disgusting and hateful. Her blood, her bones, her muscles, all of it is horrendous and monstrous.

- She combats this in a couple of ways (not therapy).

-She is very sexually active. Having others desire her body helps. She isn't very picky about partners (insofar as looks, she's more discerning about behavior though) and has had many in her long stint in Hell. ~~Among them being both Lucifer and Lilith~~ She does prefer women, but she's open to all genders.

-CW: Cannibalism ⚠️

Kari volunteers herself to the cannibals because they appreciate the disgusting and gross viscera and muscles and blood and bones. When she first volunteered herself Rosie wanted to discuss it first and understand where Kari's mind was at. It was a productive conversation because it wasn't about Wanting to Die, that was very much Not a part of it. It was almost a form of therapy, to know that the parts of herself that she can't control and that plague her self worth and self image, that she finds horrible and monstrous, can still be desirable to someone in some way. "Do you want to be dead when you're eaten?" "No, I want to be alive for it for as long as I can be." "You don't mind the pain?" "The pain is part of it, isn't it? It just affirms the need and want." "Okay. But when you come back, visit me so we can talk about it okay?" "Sure, I can do that." She has since formed a rather solid bond with those in Cannibal Town and Rosie. Both to indulge and just to spend time with those who make her feel better about herself.

- In the existing universes she's in on discord, she's reconnected with Adam and become friends with him. Their relationship is very much like siblings who love negging each other. They argue, but it's usually stupid lighthearted stuff. And that reconnecting has helped Kari reconcile with some of the issues that their tumultuous first meeting left.

[sleepygenie-o]

You Guys Rest?

Sky Cotl x SAGAU again :>

Let's hop straight in!

Chrs Mentioned: The Archons (Venti, Ei, Zhongli, and Nahida), You (2nd person), unspecified Moth Skid (sky kid)

---

You are your usual Sky kid, with the new Season of AURORA out, (Where through the grapevine, heard that you get to literally meet GOD.) you've been hard at work farming for candles.

Especially Eden candles for height spells! .. Yeah you used them up trying to get taller.

On your way to the current known location of a Red Shard Event, which is in the Village of Dreams, you encounter a Moth, well, not really. They seem to understand the world enough and are apparently still getting used to seasons.

As you both converse, you're waiting for the eruption with the Sky kid as you give them advice on how to purify it since as stated, they're still getting used to it.

Once the eruptions roll in, you notice 4 gold stars rolling in too. You would assume that it's more sky kids that either are born or being re-born but..

They crash land right near you. The eruption happening at the same time. In a panic you tell the Sky Kid to move the weird dressed sky kids to a safe zone while you purified the darkness.

...

Venti is the first to wake up, instantly waking the others.

The sight was beautiful, but the situation wasn't. There were some sky kids sheltered in the stage with them, a blue person (one of the Performance Spirits) seemed to be healing a few.

A majority of them had one similar trait, simply done hair and a brown cape with 1 star at the back. Asking the spirit what's going on prompts the response of:

"Some advanced Sky kids brought a bunch of moths here to prepare for the purification of the eruption"

Excuse them as they remain confused the wHAT?!

After a good hour of finding the way out and to the village of Dreams it's.. a bit chaotic.

"CALL OVER HERE IM TRYING OT BURN S*HONK*T"

"AAAAAAAA-"

"WHO KEEPS DYING I CAN'T KEEP SAVING YOU?!"

Among the yelling children is another yelling child, you. You were flying up to get the flying dark plants, activating pre-prepared and placed shared memories to signal the mutated crabs. Even using yourself as bait while the rest continued to burn the darkness away.

What are you doing there, your grace?! You could get hurt!!

Venti and Ei were about to march over there if it weren't for Zhongli and Nahida holding them back. Don't worry Zhongli activated his shield, they're safe.

As the final act ensues (collecting the fragments of light), they watch you maneuver through the floating red crystals to get the.. glowing.. mantas??

As the final memory if collected, they all condense into one and bless the sky children.

As much as they want to approach you, it seems you're a bit occupied..

"Aiya..!! That was harder than I thought!"

"Really? It was actually kinda easy.. you all are so loud-"

"I still have to head to the stadium to see some of the spirits. Are you guys excited for the concert?"

"Pfft-! Obviously! Who wouldn't wanna meet someone who is probably our God?" Wait wHAT?!

"That IS still speculation.. we're still unsure if AURORA is Megabird and-"

"Okay okay theorists of the future we get it, let's enjoy the fun while it lasts. We have like..2 days to prepare for the concert." (psst! You can imagine yourself saying any of these dialogues)

..Congrats! You broke them.

There is a God above you?! Higher than you?! That can't be possible!!

...Well.. you do look like a child.. maybe your mother..?

They'll take this info with a grain of salt. And hopefully not freak out.

Taglist: (It's been so long- ;-;)

@karmawonders , @chocogi , @bk-4-trash-fire

[thebindingofpillo]

in the big ol google doc, when esau dies, jacob is completely distraught. how does he try to cope? like i feel like hair pulling as an unhealthy coping mechanism for jacob. in the game, tainted jacob has a bald spot. and jacob seems the kinda guy to pull on his hair until it comes out when under a lotta stress. also, how does laz try to help? laz is shown to be abit more of less sympathetic person.

Another thing, what is Esau after he comes back to haunt jacob? A spirit trying to remind Jacob of his sins, or was it jacobs negative emotions and thoughts that made esau manifest as he is?

Lastly, how does both Jacob and Lazarus deal with esau?

Someone has read that monster of a Google doc????? Waow………

Anyway I feel like Jacob would be super depressed. I like the idea of him pulling out his hair in distress, but also consider: stress so big it just falls out. Lazarus brushes his hair and it just falls out in clumps… Speaking of which, yes, Lazarus is a bit of an ass, he’s not a bad person and Jacob is still his best friend (and future partner). It’s kinda sad but I envisioned Esau’s death as a huge growth opportunity for both of them, Jacob will learn to live as his own person without Esau and Lazarus will grow to be more responsible and less of a prick. He’ll finally realise how much Jacob means to him and will have to confront the fact that he’s not always been the best of friends to him (and Samson too, especially Samson, but that’s for another time) so he’ll try to make up for it.

I guess Lazarus would try and take over for Jacob. Like, taking care of him, making him food, making sure he eats and stuff… Jacob is also disabled, and Esau had been helping him in day-to-day life for the longest time, so Jacob is not only missing a brother but also a caretaker. Lazarus would immediately go to his house and take it from there, keeping tidy, making food etc. etc. he wouldn’t be alone of course, Bethany, Samson and even Eve will gladly stop by to help and make Jacob feel less alone… but also the fact that Jacob blames himself for his brother’s death will not make things easier for them. I feel like all my characters need therapy ngl. Maybe Samson can help him find a therapist…

As for Dark Esau… it’s Esau. He’s back. Basically the main idea was that Esau, in his first life, made some sort of deal with the devil to get revenge on his brother for everything he did to him (the birthright, the blessing etc.) but Jacob always managed to die before him, or before Esau gained his memories back, so he could never truly get revenge until now. This idea is still a bit fuzzy tho, don’t treat it like gospel. I also liked the idea that Esau’s rage is what constantly brought him back to life over and over, he just couldn’t let go. And not only because of Jacob! Esau’s grudge is also directed towards Isaac!!! Yes, Jacob stole his birthright but Isaac also refused to give him his blessing (and for a very stupid reason too!). And probably towards Rebekah too, since she was the one who originally pitted them against eachother… what I’m trying to say is that Esau has a huge grudge against his whole family, and nobody is safe.

When Esau started manifesting it was for Jacob only, and the man really thought he was going insane since nobody but him seemed to be able to see him. Lazarus was skeptical at first, but he’s dealt with enough supernatural bullshit (like being on a first name basis with the literal angel of death, knowing that demons exist etc. etc.) so while he thinks Jacob is only having a mental breakdown, but he’s still open to the possibility of him being actually haunted by his brother.

As for resolving the situation… eeeeeeh that’s still a bit fuzzy tbh. Like my main idea was that this situation would progressively escalate until Lazarus and Jacob had to find help with Judas and the others (because Apollyon is real powerful, Azazel is a demon and he might help, even Eden could chip in and lend a hand) but THEN Bethany would explode because of Dogma, and even Esau can’t bear to see someone he loved so much in so much pain, and I had this idea he would try and fight Dogma to save her and in doing so his should would be cleansed and ascend to heaven? It’s still a bit fuzzy, but I also think Isaac and Rebekah apologising could help… like it wouldn’t really do anything for Esau, but maybe it could help him let go of his anger and move on. Hell you know what? I’ll throw in Cain too, if someone knows what it’s like to kill your own brother and why it’s a bad thing it’s him! And his whole arc is about the importance of letting go and not let the past consume you etc. etc. it’s too perfect, he can help the flaming ghost. I also know how to shove it in the action: Dark Esau has completely reverted to his old memories and personality, which means he can only speak ancient Hebrew, like in Bible times. And Cain is the only one who can understand him! And then thanks to Cain he could unlock his most recent memories and realise he’s being stupid.

[fatherfigurefusion]

DRDT Beta AU (feel free to ask me any questions about it)

Teruko Tawaki, Ultimate Lucky Student

The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of “Lucky Student,” it seems like the only luck Teruko has is bad luck. Accidents and misfortunes constantly plague Teruko and those around her. Because of this, she exercises caution in just about any situation and yearns to keep the people around her safe. Teruko has a natural inclination towards protecting others, at the expense of her own health.

Alexander "Xander" Matthews, Ultimate Rebel

With a constant smirk on his face, Alexander “Xander” Matthews earned the title of Ultimate Rebel through his consistent tendency to go against the status quo and break the rules. In spite of his shifty appearance and personality, Xander has a strong sense of morals, and is constantly trying to right the world’s wrongs. Xander seems to revel in his reputation as a "criminal", a "troublemaker", and a "problem child", with negative comments almost never fazing him.

Charles Cuevas, Ultimate Chemist

While there’s no doubt that the Ultimate Chemist is very educated and talented in the field of chemistry, Charles Cuevas is highly reckless and appears to enjoy any instances of chaos and destruction, especially if it involves something exploding or melting. He is very expressive regularly found smiling and laughing maniacally. He is also quite scatterbrained, and finds it very hard to recall information not related to his Ultimate talent.

Ace Markey, Ultimate Jockey

Ace Markey is an incredible Jockey, having won dozens of awards for his jockeying abilities...and yet he doesn't seem to care one bit for it. In fact, Ace doesn't seem to really care about anything apart from satisfying his base desires. He appears to take nothing seriously, and would rather slack off and joke around than do anything productive.

Arei Nageishi, Ultimate Bowler

Arei Nageishi made her debut in the bowling world as a teenager by winning multiple bowling championships. Perpetually stone-faced, Arei is quite the pushover, willing to do as much labor for others as possible, even if she's unfairly worked to the bone. Ultimately, she just wants to ingratiate herself with others, but how far would she go to be accepted by others?

Rose Lacroix, Ultimate Art Forger

As the Ultimate Art Forger, Rose Lacroix paints copies of famous masterpieces that are so realistic that they’re often mistaken for the real thing. She owes her forgery talent to her photographic memory. Unfortunately, based on Rose's constant thousand-yard-stare, this appears to be more of a curse than a blessing. She seems to be unable to relax, and is often heard mumbling ominous things to herself.

Hu Jing, Ultimate Zither Player

Hu Jing is an incredibly talented musician who specializes as the Ultimate Zither Player. It’s said that even a listening to a few minutes of one of her performances will bring tears to even the hardest of hearts. Hu holds her talent with great pride, and is often considered snobby and conceited by others because of it. She places as much emphasis on being prim, proper, and perfect as possible.

Eden Tobisa, Ultimate Clockmaker

Grouchy, bitter, and perpetually exhausted, Eden Tobisa is the cranky Clockmaker. She has a bit of a tendency to overwork herself as she gets absorbed into her work sometimes, leading to all of the issues described above. While it may seem like Eden is on the cynical or pessimistic side, she is merely your typical socially-awkward girl with no clue how to carry a conversation.

Levi Fontana, Ultimate Personal Stylist

His musculature may be intimidating, but Levi Fontana has the innocuous talent of Personal Stylist and the personality and outfit to match. He has quite the sociable yet goofy and airheaded personality, but he is surprisingly good at giving out advice and assistance to people who need it. Levi's helpful yet naive nature seems to be the result of a dangerous past that he refuses to elaborate on.

Arturo Giles, Ultimate Plastic Surgeon

Arturo Giles is a Plastic Surgeon who specializes in cosmetic surgery. In spite of his talent, he holds a strong dislike for both the work that goes into it and the beauty standards that characterize the industry. Dislikes aside, Arturo is down-to-earth, sociable, and definitely one of the less outlandish personalities in the cast...unless you happen to be a celebrity, in which case he'd really display his utter hatred for you.

Min Jeung, Ultimate Student

Min Jeung is one of the top school performers in the nation, and as thus has rightfully earned the title of Ultimate Student. Her talents lie in her diligence at studying and her excellent memory. She is hardworking, overly-formal, and very loud, always seeks to uphold rules at any cost and has a strong dislike for those who seek to break these rules.

David Chiem, Ultimate Inspirational Speaker

David Chiem is a renowned Inspirational Speaker who has motivated many people through his straightforward speeches. Despite what one would think when they hear his talent, David is a foul-mouthed cynic who nonetheless encourages others with his brutally honest "encouragement". His edgy personality is sometimes seen by certain people as a mere act, but others claim that he is genuinely that harsh and pessimistic.

Veronika Grebenshchikova, Ultimate Horror Fanatic

Despite what her talent would suggest, Veronika Grebenshchikova is incredibly timid and cowardly, seemingly scared of even her own shadow. Her intense consumption and studies of the horror genre (perhaps leading to her easily-scared personality) have earned her the title of Ultimate Horror Fanatic. Her tendency to get carried away when talking about terrifying scenarios that could befall others run the risk of frightening people away.

Julia Rosales, Ultimate Special Effects Artist

The daughter of famous film actress Mariabella Rosales, Julia Rosales specializes in special affects for both film and theatre, no doubt using the connections she had from her mother to accomplish this. She has a bratty and self-centered personality, living for fame and adoration from the masses and considering herself to be above others. In spite of her egotistical personality and attempts to imitate her mother, she has a surprisingly shy streak.

Whit Young, Ultimate Matchmaker

It’s said that if you get the Ultimate Matchmaker to find you a romantic partner, you’re guaranteed to have a happy and stable relationship for life. However, Whit Young doesn't seem to have any interest in finding a relationship for himself. Whit takes just about everything seriously, especially endeavors relating to his Ultimate talent, and always prioritizes logic over emotions.

Nico Hakobyan, Ultimate Pet Therapist

As the Ultimate Pet Therapist, Nico Hakobyan possesses an incredible synergy with animals and works with owners to address behavioral issues in their pets. Claiming to have a psychic connection to animals, Nico is a firm believer in just about every single pseudo-science imaginable. They are always blissfully cheerful, regardless of the circumstances, seemingly stuck in their own little world, and seem to have noticeable trouble connecting to other humans.

[simgerale]

CHAPTER TWENTY ; 2/3

TRANSCRIPT:

luca: Antoin, please. What is going on? Why is the castle buzzing, and why on earth did you have me dress in this attire?

antoin: [sighs] I have little time to explain. All you need to know is that your Empress has convinced me that our empires would be better off as allies.

l: She succeeded then? You have created a new peace treaty?

a: No, brother. You are creating a new peace treaty.

l: ...Whatever do you mean?

a: You were correct when you said that Empress Magdalena did not have ulterior motives. Her only goal seemed to be to keep her empire safe... as well as my brother. So I grant you my blessing, if you so need it. She was adamant that it be your choice.

sheridan: Say hi for me.

l: What—

[his vision turns black, and suddenly he is somewhere else entirely]

l: —do you… Oh.

magdalena: Welcome back to Eden, Prince Luca.

l: …Your majesty?

m: Magdalena... You may call me Magdalena.

[nightraiderwrites]

Pearl lays in bed, her suit torn to shreds. Queen Gem is sitting in a chair next to her, carefully peeling the remains of the beautiful midnight blue cloth.

Everything hurts. The explosion had ripped through the wall, and Pearl had vaulted over people to the Queen. She remembers wrapping her arms around Gem as the heat had torn through her. Then… nothing.

"You're such an idiot," Gem mutters as she inspects the skin. It's red and blistered, and the skin around the left side of her face is full of pain.

She coughs. "Well," she replies weakly. "I couldn't let the Queen die. You're too important to Eden."

"There's a reason Eden chose me to be her Queen," Gem replies, applying a salve. Her hands glow faintly green, as she moves them down Pearl's body. "She won't let me die so easily. You, on the other hand…"

Gem hesitates, before applying the salve to her eye. "You don't know that, Gem," Pearl says. "You don't know when the blessing of Eden will run out." Her hand is cool against Pearl's eyelid. She doesn't think she'll be able to see Gen's beautiful face with it ever again.

A knock on the door sounds. "It's me," comes Impulse’s soft voice. "Come in," the Queen orders.

The door opens silently, revealing a short man dressed in beaten up armor. "Hey Pearlie," he says. "I brought you soup."

"Thanks Impy," Pearl replies. She pauses. "Why're you still in your armor?" He chuckles, placing the steaming bowl on her bedside table. "Paranoia," he says. "They might launch a counter attack. And with you bedridden…"

Gem grumbles from where she's wrapping the last of Pearl’s wounds. "You're both idiots," she grouches. She sniffles suddenly. "I can't run this kingdom without both of you." 

Impulse exchanges a quick look of panic with Pearl, who tries to sit up. Her ribs scream, but she moves to sit at the edge of her bed. Impulse moves to stand on Gem's right.

Pearl takes her hands. There are little flecks of gold in her antlers. She thinks about Eden, and magic, and claims. "I swore I'd always stay by your side," she says. Her soft hands are cold in Pearl’s. She brings them up to kiss it softly. "I do not intend to leave."

Impulse kneels. "I swore I'd always be here too, my Queen," he says. Gold still gleams above his heart. “My axe will always be there for you.” Pearl nods, "You'll have us until we die," she adds.

Her emerald eyes stare at Pearl darkly. “Impulse,” the Queen says. “You can go to bed. Or check the guards stationed around the palace.” He starts to protest, but gives up as soon as he sees her focus is all on Pearl. Good luck, he mouths as he exits the room.

“Pearl,” she says. Pearl thinks about gold and magic and claims. “You can’t do that again. You can’t keep throwing yourself in danger for me.” Her antlers are flecked with gold, just like the necklace burnt into Pearl’s neck. “Eden’s blessing will keep me safe,” she continues. “But you-!”

She cuts herself off as Pearl surges forward in a kiss. Her lips are dry and cracked, Pearl notices. Gem tastes like wine. Pearl kisses deeper, moving to sit on Gem's lap and wrapping her arms around her neck.

Pearl thinks of gold and magic and claims. Gem tastes like wine and hope and love. 

They part, and Pearl presses her forehead to Gem's, as they both gasp for breath.

"I can't lose you," she whispers. Gem's eyes are emerald green, flecked with little slivers of gold. Droplets of tears color the corners blue."I love you," she murmurs, rough and real and desperate. "I love you, and I can't lose you."

"I can't lose you either," Gem replies, voice low and raspy. "I- I don't want to see you go." She wraps her arms around Pearl’s waist, moving her head to rest on her shoulder. Pearl clutches the base of her neck, terrified to let her go.

“I don’t want to die,” Pearl says. “But I would do it if it meant you would be safe.” She watches as Gem gasps for breath, gulping the air like a fish gulps water, and feels her earthquake under her fingertips.

Gem's dress is streaked with soot. "I can't lose you," she repeats. "You've all I've got left." Pearl shakes her head, ignoring the way it makes her ribs feel like they're being torn apart. "You've got Impulse," she says. "You have the rest of the Court."

"But it won't be you," Gem says. Her lip quivers. "I won't have you." 

Pearl thinks again of gold and magic and claims. Have Gem says. Like she’s something to put a claim on. She's got her wrapped tightly in her fist.

She thinks as she hugs Gem again, that she's gotten herself into a half dug grave.

~

Day 3 for @mcyt-yuri-week ! This is once again from the soup group au, because I have been hooked and brain rotting about it deeply.

It is later today, because I had a horrible exam, but thankfully I made it through to write women kissing.

[kathyprior4200]

Heaven Hotel: "Prologue"

The Story of Hell…(But not the one you know)

“Once upon a time, there were four main afterlife realms. One was a golden city guarded by golden gates known as Heaven. It was created by God and high-ranking angels who spread harmony throughout the universe. In the Hazbin Universe, Lucifer was a dreamer angel who had unique ideas for creation, but the elder angels didn’t like his wild, unconventional ideas. Sera and the angels helped create Earth and thus created Adam and Lilith in the Garden of Eden. Lilith fled the garden to escape her controlling husband, met Lucifer and fell in love. Lucifer wanted to share free will with humanity, so he gave the apple from the forbidden tree to Eve. Presumably, Roo, the Eldritch goddess of evil was able to escape the tree, corrupt the Earth and ruin the angel’s plan for humanity. Thus, Eve was corrupted, and Lucifer and Lilith were banished to Hell. Charlie, the princess of Hell, wanted to rehabilitate Sinners through her hotel to keep them safe from Adam and his female Exorcists who went down to kill them every year. A Sinner named Sir Pentious reincarnated to Heaven as an angel and Adam reincarnated as a demon after their deaths. Hell was a place with seven Rings ruled by the Seven Deadly Sins and the Sinners and demons could do whatever they wanted under Lucifer’s circus-like rule.

Those are the worlds you know. But those are different to where I’m from.

The Heaven where I live (what you would call 2P Heaven) is more complex than a simple golden Hollywood city. It has Seven Halos, each ruled by an Archangel or the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Humility, the lowest, is ruled by Archangel Michael. Charity is ruled by Gabriel, Chasity by Camael, Diligence by Raphael, Patience by Uriel, Temperance by Jophiel, and Kindness by Zadkiel. The Born-Again Council is our equivalent to the Hell Overlords. Sinners are ex-humans in Hazbin Hell, Winners are ex-humans in Hazbin Heaven. Here, we call them Saints. But those in our Hell? They have a lot of complaints. They are so far gone we don’t even know what to call them…”scum” is an understatement. Instead of I.M.P. imps going down to kill those on Earth, or Hazbin Cherubs going to save people, the main commoners here are elves of E.L.F. They not only save people, but they bless their families and comfort them after their losses. Much more efficient than C.H.E.R.U.B. at least. (See “Heavenly Boss.”)

You probably are wondering who I am. I am Princess Coerciona Vespar, only one of the most important people in this Heaven world. The angels here are shapeshifters and often have blue dots on their white cheeks instead of red ones. The only ones above me are my parents King Hesperius and Queen Evanna and the Archangels and God. I have black hair, black wings with eyes on them, barbed wire in my hair, dark green/teal dots on my white face and carry all sorts of weapons. My eyes can change to a deep black with white pupils, but mostly they are ice-blue.

Not only am I a princess, I also happen to be a leader of my very own Exorcist army, the Cleansers. Unlike blonde bimbo Barbie in Hazbin Hell, I enjoy killing demons and Sinners with great passion. (And why shouldn’t I? Most of them are rapists, Nazis, serial killers and the like…if they all get any ideas, I’m just making them double dead to feed Roo.) I also enjoy daily praise, respect, and rock music. I used to have a crush on Hazbin Exorcist general Adam, but when he lost to a cyclops maid, I figured he was pathetic after all. Coercing others is my specialty.

Who are the Cleansers? They are the Exorcists 2.0. They are of all genders and all classes: Heavenborn, Saints, and even lowly elves and cherubs can sign up. You see, we don’t just go down to Hell once a year to kill; we have to constantly be on the lookout 24/7. In our universe, what you would call 2P Hell…it’s a nest for Roo and Eldritch monsters. In fact, her influence makes up part of the Hazbin Hell, where double-dead Sinners and demons serve as her food and her eyes. Here, she is more known than in the Hazbin world. In our Hell, Lucifer switches between good and evil; he actually fell after losing to Michael and now hates humanity 90% of the time. Lucifer’s face is black and looks more devil-like than a clown. Lilith in our world is a succubus but much nicer than all the other royals in Hell. Eve gets to visit Earth and Heaven to help humans as the Mother of Humanity. All the Seven Deadly Sins have their traditional appearances, and they are all greedy and malicious. (Think dragon-wolf Mammon, Sloth Belphegor, and Fly Beelzebub. If your job was to punish people every day and you always got what you wanted, you’d be that way, too. It’s the blunt karmic way of “You’re on the receiving end of rape/pain whatever sin is around”.). Hellborns are at the top and the most powerful ones are those who own the most human slave souls.

Anyway, the Cleansers have to stop these white, bat-winged Satanics from sneaking up into Heaven and turning angels into demons with their black energy weapons. (Yes, they can do that, and if those in Hazbin found out, there’d be all-around panic in Hazbin Heaven.) In our Hell, Sinners are slaves, zero-free will, having to watch demons indulge in their associated sins. The only way to escape is if they are chosen to go to Purgatory or if they make it through Dante’s Inferno Circles. If they can endure the cleansing Purgatory flames, they then have to prove their worth by completing three incarnated lives on Earth after their first main life. If they pass all three, they go to Heaven, but if they don’t, they are sent back to Hell in dishonor. (Yeah, unlike Hazbin world, our rules are very specific about who goes where. Unless you’re the lucky few in Heaven with God, the afterlife is not pleasant.) The rules? No killing unless in self-defense. No stealing unless for survival. No raping anyone for any reason. No using money for self-serving/harming others without giving back in some way. Suicide is debatable…usually it’s bad but there are exceptions. Many Sinners in our Hell desire to go double dead and become food for Roo to escape the punishment…that’s where the Cleansers come in. We can see who might be worthy enough for redemption, who still needs to suffer and who has had enough.

So I help manage the Cleansers, but I still find many of Heaven’s rules stifling. They can accept killing Sinners, but they’re still often against LGBT rights and abortion and women’s rights and all that BS? To combat the extreme opposites of sin, I created my “Heaven/Haven Hotel,” a place where angels and Saints can come by and indulge in moderate sin and hide from the Satanics, provided they follow my rules. (Let’s be honest, one night of drinking and sex and swearing out loud to punk rock isn’t gonna hurt anyone. You can call me a stereotypical mean goth girl, but I have more responsibility, power, and beauty than your average human.)

Personally, I don’t care about trying to redeem Sinners 24/7; they have to do most of the work on their own. I guess I’m a good supporter of free will but only in moderation. As for me being a “brat” as many say, I’m just cynical of Heaven, Hell, and the systems in general. Those of us in Heaven come from a variety of species, sexualities, and the like, but due to Christianity, there will be an orientation to traditional roles, much like on Earth. 

My father King Hesperius used to be Lucifer’s lost twin brother, the Evening Star. He is basically Lucifer without the desire to bring up chaos and wild ideas. He is sort of like Michael; stern, older, an opposite to Lucifer. My mother Queen Evanna is what Lilith and Eve would be had they not fallen. As for our Adam? He’s in Heaven working with Jesus to try and improve things on Earth. How’s that for the real first man? (And don’t forget my giant cherub baby bodyguards Pub and Chub.) Why am I so dark and vicious like Hazbin’s Exorcists? Perhaps I got a little too close and curious to Roo’s forbidden fruit when I was little and now I want to do things my own way; trying to follow some of Heaven’s rules while also being the best leader I can be. And if it means gloriously bathing in the blood of evil demons and getting even richer than I already am, all the better! Someday I’ll be just like the privileged Seven Deady Sins but without the Sin.

You want to know how I ran my hotel surrounded by a bunch of f**king idiots? Here you go…

0 0 0

Heaven Hotel: Season One Episode One: “Prelude”

I walked out onto a high balcony under the skies of Heaven. I wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed my look. My face was pale white and teal blushes were present on my cheeks. My eyes consisted of white pupils and dark blue sclera. Perched on my head was a black spiked crown. I was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell.

For all my life, I’ve been taught that all angels have good inside them. But I know that to be a lie. Ever since Lucifer and Lilith, God’s closest angels betrayed Him… I don’t think I can believe in these flawed teachings anymore…

I am Coerciona Vespar, Coercia for short. I was born and raised in Heaven…though I’m not at all one would expect to be in such a place. Some call me self-entitled and pessimistic, though I do enjoy heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

It makes sense that only a worthy few are able to be here in Heaven. Choosing them out of the sea of Sinner scum. Yet ironically, even the Saints and Heaven-born aren’t flawless all the time. It’s inevitable that all imperfect beings will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if I went to Hell if I were to piss off too many people. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.

I have two muscular servants, Pub and Chub: fat white naked cherubs with horns on their heads, small white feathery wings, and black eyes. One tested the strings on my black electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “Days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

The Exorcists or rather the Cleansers did their job in eliminating part of the demon population in 2P Hell like they did every year in the canon Hell. But at the same time each year, the Satanics, risen white demons with white bat wings and horns, tried to invade our world. They carried glowing black pitchforks and turned innocent denizens into demons. They would carry books and tempt angels with their innermost desires. Sex, sin, self-expression, sorcery, whatever that need was. Then, once they were hooked, they were stabbed with the pitchforks, causing their wings to burn off and sending them plummeting down to Hell. Nearby families would grieve at their loss.

I leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

(“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

 “At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

“A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

“Why have I always been imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

“Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain.”

A nearby portal opened and out came the Cleansers. Their weapons drew no blood, for the Sinners would be transported to Purgatory without a trace. They took off their LED masks, their white angelic faces revealed. One by one, the citizens clapped and cheered. One of the Archangels with four black wings flew up to the front, his spiked halo glowing. He took off his mask, revealing a white stern face with yellow eyes and short black hair. In his utility belt were a few daggers, whips, chains, and a bottle of emergency holy water.

“Another successful purge,” one of their other leaders Samael (Venom of God) praised. “You cleansed more Sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

The angels repeated the phrase.

“Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families.

All around me, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained-glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

The streets were spotless and clean. Roofs and roads were powered by the sun’s rays. The Cloud 9 supermarket had endless amounts of food for sale…no one ever had to worry about going hungry. Charity workers and volunteers worked by the dozens, passing out extra food and bestowing miracles for those who needed them. Metatron, the highest-ranking angel, was busy keeping records of human lives, deaths and the messages of God.

This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. The architecture was almost the same. But unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their pale cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. God’s abode, the Empyrean, had an elite group of angels guarding it. Seraph angels with six fiery rainbow wings guarded the throne of God, chanting “Holy, holy, holy!” much to the annoyance to those nearby. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

King Hesperius and Queen Evanna are my parents. They took the place of our version of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of Heaven (Under God and a few Archangels), thus I became the princess.

King Hesperius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. He wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white feathers attached to the brim. Evanna’s hair was long and black, and she too had typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white sequined dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive. My mother keeps in contact with me more than my father and seems more supportive of my project.

Now that you know my family, let’s take a look at my sidekick character crew.

0 0 0

Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The dragonfly angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: four in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a teal bowtie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green vertical stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes. He also had thin dragonfly wings that were surprisingly strong.

“Thank you for the ride,” said the dragonfly angel.

“No problem, Frank Myrth,” said the driver Sivart, a white furry owl guy wearing a top hat. He tipped his hat to him and drove away.

Frank Myrth walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

“Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

The words came from a rather peculiar angel, E-Gull. Tall and mighty, he was an eagle angel with powerful white and brown wings covered with eyes. He wore a white top hat on his white furry head and his suit was blue with thin horizontal purple stripes. Rummaging next to him were robotic black birds tinkering with various tools. One of the birds gave a rubber duck to an angel boy with white hair. These minions were called the Nestlings.

A couple of hands shot up.

E-Gull pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

“I don’t like to fight,” E-Gull said, clearing his throat, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

The Nestlings nudged him in support.

Frank Myrth rolled his eyes at his cowardly opponent eagle who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Frank Myrth argued as he stepped to his podium, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

E-Gull glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. Or was it day’s end? And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

“Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

“Bald Dud,” said a female voice.

“W-who said that?” E-Gull asked.

“You ready for a debate, old man?”

The voice belonged to Berri Blossom. She was a tall cyclops with dark skin, with a single green eye with a black cross in the center. She wore a long dark green dress and white high-heeled shoes. Her black skin was decorated in some areas near her shoulders with tiny teal specks. Her long hair was curly, blue at the top and black near the bottom. She pushed her thin dark rimmed glasses up to her face, looking at her organized set of notes in front of her.

She walked over beside her academic partner Frank Myrth. “Why don’t you play with your tinker toys somewhere else while I go over the logistics of divine law school?” She looked professional and poised. “For my presentation: Seven Reasons Why Heavenly Traditions Never Fail.”

“You want to go, madam?” E-Gull asked, a spark of rebellion in him. He fiddled with a few gadgets before the well-dressed Nestlings chirped at him on to continue. He flapped his wings a bit. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “777 News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

“Good afternoon, Holy City!” smiled a pale woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy!”

“And I’m Ron Wrench!” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had two wrenches for hands.

 After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie Carejoy continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor E-Gull and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty King Hesperius, who’s here to discuss her brand-new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

Inside the break room, Phalla the romantic butterfly angel adjusted my white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

“Okay, you remember what to say?” Phalla asked.

“Yes, I’m ready,” I stated.

Phalla brushed her long black hair from her face. She had light gray skin, curly black hair with gray outlines and two large light blue eyes, her right one covered by a teal green heart. She had a matching teal green butterfly bow in her hair and a teal green shirt with a white collar and white buttons. She wore a white collar and a black Christian Cross necklace. Her skirt was white, just reaching her white leggings with black lace on top and she had black pointed shoes.

She was ever the girly romantic, always chasing after men and not having a violent bone in her body. Some claim that Phalla’s name is a nickname for “penis” since, you know. She makes for a good friend and an even better servant.

“Oh, this is gonna be great!” Phalla squealed happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

“Come on, Phalla, I know what I’m going to say,” I scoffed, crossing her arms.

Phalla walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Phalla got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

“Sing a song about it?” I asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” I curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me seriously if I start belting out some random pop song. Life isn’t a musical.”

“But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Phalla pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her eye shined.

“Romance, bleh,” I made a face and Phalla giggled.

“Hey,” Phalla brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

“They’re all highlighted,” I replied, scanning the paper. I narrowed my eyes. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

“Sure!” Phalla said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “Sinners = Winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

“Say, that’s actually pretty good!” I said sarcastically with a smile of sharp teeth.

“Thanks!” Phalla beamed.

I snatched the piece of paper from her and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” I tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

Catie Carejoy waved with a smile. “Hi. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand, but I didn’t take it, instead remarking, “You can put that away. I don’t touch commoners, I have standards.” Catie Carejoy looked stunned, pulling her hand back. “So, this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

The angel crew murmured nervously.

“I’m gonna keep this short,” I said as I walked over to the desk. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some stuffy old news lady thinks of my proposal.”

The crowd gasped. Ron Wrench shook his head.

“Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

“And we’re back!” Catie Carejoy said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

“It’s Princess Coerciona Vespar,” I spat, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

“Sorry. So, tell us about your so called passion project.”

I took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination...erm Cleansing. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay in both Hells? I know I like the thought of the evil Sinners getting destroyed, but I often forget there are innocent people down there, too. If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” I pounded my fist on the desk, startling Catie carejoy.

I stood up and made my way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to impossible standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation? While still Cleaning those in Hell, of course. And preferably eliminating evil demons once and for all?”

The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Phalla nodded in appreciation.

“Well, I think yes,” I continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” I walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” I spread out my arms.

The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

“Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

I added nervously while still trying to keep a glare, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy dog ears, and large blue eyes. His white wings were folded behind him. He watched the program with a look of worry. A dog creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

A camera man shook his head at me. Phalla walked up to him and pleaded, “Please give her a chance.”

I sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

I then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

Phalla clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

I barred a pair of sharp white teeth and black curved horns emerged from my head. My black feathery wings spread out from my back and an X appeared over my right eye. A harpoon appeared in my right hand and a spiked halo appeared over my head. I was in her dark angelic Exorcist form, a handy costume look I often use for my shows. I posed over the desk and began.

(“Inside of Every Angel is a Sinner”)

 “I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

*Guitar starts and scream vocals*

“Inside of every angel is a Sinner

Inside of every do-gooder is a beast

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion we know the least”

“Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

“So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

“There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

In the tunnel of darkness you’ll go!”

“So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

“All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fears!”

“Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

I finished with a pose.

“Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

Catie Carejoy shook her head. “What in the Nine Levels of Heaven makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a sinful person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

I lifted up my head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

“And who might that be?” Catie Carejoy asked.

“Oh, just someone named…Frank Myrth.”

“The grumpy old dragonfly?” asked Ron Wrench.

“He’s not old,” argued Catie Carejoy. “He just acts older than he is.”

“Anyway,” said Catie Carejoy. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

“Oh, I beg to differ,” I argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks now.”

“Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

The news came on, detailing Frank Myrth and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

“Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Frank Myrth! What a coincidence!”

She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie Carejoy. “If you were smart, you would cease this rebellious club and embrace the way things are done here. I hope you learned a good lesson.”

My eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, b*tch!”  We fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron Wrench called for security.

After I was kicked out, Phalla followed me wordlessly to the white limo. Frank Myrth, Phalla, and I rode back to the hotel.

0 0 0

Frank Myrth lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

“Frank,” said Phalla with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Coercia says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

“I’m sorry Phalla,” said Frank from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

“Not to everyone,” said Phalla. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Coercia’s project at all.”

“I do care, senorita,” said Frank. “Sort of. I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

“I do appreciate all of your help,” I said, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained-glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Phalla rested on a couch while Frank Myrth munched on a granola bar.

“It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Frank Myrth. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

Frank Myrth pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. I sighed and walked away toward the door. I went outside and took out my cell phone, calling my mother.

“Carol cakes!” called Evanna through the phone. I cringed.

“Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” she said with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

“Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

Evanna’s tone turned more serious. “Coercia, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

“Because,” I said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it. Also, I didn’t say that people should go to Hell. I said that we should truly be able to do what we want in Heaven.”

“Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

“I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

Evanna let out a long sigh. “Young lady, we’ve been through this I don’t know how many times. You have to push your selfish thoughts aside and just accept the way things are. It’s part of a higher purpose.”

“And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

“That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your life away? You’re lucky you’re not those Sinner slave sin Hell! Or those gay furries in Hazbin Heaven.”

“At least those Sinners in Hazbin Hell, disgusting as they are, get to do what they want.”

“You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

“Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, heavy metal and watching battles…oh and watching Sinners beg for their last breaths…”

“You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Evanna replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

“Whatever.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

 I hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind me. I leaned against the door frame, closing my eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears from the stress.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, four knocks, then a last one. “Shave and a Haircut” backwards. I turned around with a sigh to answer it. I swung the stained-glass door open. From outside stood a tall slender man with a pale light gray face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his light blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. He had light blue and white dog ears near his light blue hair. His suit was light blue with dark blue horizontal stripes, a white Christian Cross design on his blue undershirt. He had white angel wings, a white halo, white pants, pointed white boots with blue tips and a strange blue furry tail. His eyes were big, blue and sad, a blue monocle under his left eye.

What a clown!

“Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

I slammed the door in his face.

I opened it again.

“…the right address?” finished the man.

“No!” I shouted, slamming it again.

“Hey Phalla!” I called.

“What?” her friend asked.

“The crybaby Dog Man is at the door!”

“What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

“Who?” asked Frank Myrth.

“What should I do?”

“Well…let him in!” Phalla cried, eye shining.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. I sighed and opened the door again.

“May I talk now?” the man asked in a radio voice.

“Sure, whatever.”

The man held out a white gloved four-fingered hand. “Stalaro, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. Why I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many poor orphans…”

“Hello there!” Phalla called with a smile, staring up and walking in front of him. She greeted in Spanish. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

She embraced him and he stood stunned, his face blushing. “I do love hugs,” he whispered as she stepped back. “I bet all of you would be so nice and soft after we get to know each other for a while…”

Phalla blushed while Frank Myrth and I made disgusted faces.

“A blowjob for you, gray fellow?” Stalaro asked Frank Myrth with a bow.

 “Not gonna happen, creep,” Frank Myrth spat.

Stalaro gave a nervous laugh and popped a strawberry and blueberry into his mouth.

“I don’t trust him,” I said.

“Me neither,” Frank Myrth agreed.

“You’re not gonna cling to us are you?” Phallas asked. “Or, you know…”

 “Dear, if I wanted to screw anyone here…I would’ve done so already.”

Stalaro tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale gray cheeks.

Phalla watched in bliss, while Frank Myrth and I rolled their eyes at the show-off.

Stalaro shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

“No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

“Say what?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

Stalaro held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

“That’s your motivation motto every day?” Frank Myrth asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

“Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Phalla squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s…denouncing.”

Frank Myrth elbowed her. “Hun, could you not get attracted to every other man you see?  I’m your boyfriend.”

“I can’t help it, love!” she cried. “I just get so distracted easily.”

 “Um…you want to help?” I asked, suddenly curious.

Stalaro appeared behind us after morphing into light.

“With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

“Uh…why?”

Stalaro choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

“A sad wimp like you at parties?” I asked.

“I’m a pretty good actor,” he replied. My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

I rolled my eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

“No,” Stalaro said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

“You’re a f*cking disengagement,” I retorted just as Frank Myrth warned, “No swearing!”

Then I brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel? You know the selfish angels who deserve a kick in their ass? That life is meaningless without your own self to temporarily control it?”

Stalaro sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! Oh, but I think there’s plenty left that can change such marvelous saints. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” I asked.

Stalaro turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves up the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

“Right…” I began. “Boring.”

“Yes indeed,” Stalaro said, both of us walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

“Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Frank Myrth asked.

“Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Phalla asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

Frank Myrth shrugged his shoulders.

“The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven has ever seen?”

“Eh, I’m not too big on people.”

Phalla sighed and leaned in close to explain.

“Decades ago, Stalaro manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of Lordships and Archangels who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout Heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy, and emotions. Saints starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

“You done?” Frank Myrth asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man. Either way, you’re delusional.”

“Well, I trust him completely!”

“Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

Phalla skipped over to me. Stalaro examined a family portrait of Hesperius, Evanna and a young me in the center. I wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. My hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, my cheeks had teal blushes. Evanna had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown.  Hesperius was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

Phalla looked excited as she explained. “Coercia, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. I suppose he could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

“I…” I began. “…we don’t know that. Make up your mind. Whose side are you on, anyway? Is he a rebel or another boring elite? I’ll tell you. He’s a crying b*tch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

Phalla put her hands on my shoulders.

“The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws, their true selves! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

I looked downcast. She had a good point. I hated when people made good arguments against me.

“Just take care of yourself,” I said.

“Coercia,” warned Phalla, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

Demons often made deals with each other that often resulted in gaining power at the cost of one’s soul or freedom. Usually the one who initiated the deal would gain advantage. A demonic deal was bad in and of itself. Breaking an angelic promise could result in rejection, eternal torture, and damnation.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I learned one thing from my dad.” I mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

I marched over to the Techno Angel.

“Ok Mr. Dog-face... You’re prissy as f*ck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Stalaro, then vanished.

I continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be themselves. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

Stalaro twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Phalla’s and Frank Myrth’s faces.

“Nope!” I yelled, holding out my hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

I paused in thought.

“As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

A moment of pause…

“Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Stalaro said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished.

Stalaro stopped and spotted Phalla to the side.

Phalla went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his shock.

“Smile, dog man!” she giggled.

Stalaro walked on, speechless.

 “So…where is your hotel staff?” Stalaro asked me.

“Uh well,” I began. Stalaro peered at Phalla through his monocle below his left eye.

He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

Stalaro walked over to Frank Myrth, who was sitting on a stool.

“And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Stalaro walking over to the dark dragonfly, blushing.

“You can suck a dick,” Frank Myrth retorted in a grumpy tone.

“AH! Ok,” said Stalaro, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

“F*ck off,” Frank Myrth added, pulling out a long holy knife from his belt.

“Now who’s swearing?” I smirked at him. Frank Myrth glared.

Stalaro summoned his cane. “Well, this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Stalaro walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single white eye with a teal iris was revealed.

Frank Myrth, Phalla and I peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

“This little rascal is Klutzy!” Stalaro announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

A white-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark blue skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and thin. Her shirt was black, and her large eye took up much of her pale white face. Her short hair was light blue with a dark blue spot off to the left. She had a halo and wings with eyes and icicles on the ends.

“I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen strangers.”

 Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

“Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

She briefly picked up Phalla, then let go.

“Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

“It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flowerpot onto the rug.

“Yes, yes, yep, yeah!” she yelled as she proceeded to break windows and knock down more stuff. Then she plopped down on a couch once the room was messy. “I’m bored. Make me some food or something.”

Phalla, Frank Myrth, and I looked on in worry, while Stalaro just stared off into space. “She has quite the temper sometimes.”

A cat angel was working on a Rubik’s cube with colleagues. His furry face was black, framed by white fur. His little top hat was white with a blue band across it. A big teal bow tie was under his neck, over his black furry chest framed by white fur. His wings were a brilliant blue, with black and red mathematical symbols on either side: the pi symbol, E = mc squared, signs for addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, among others. More symbols were visible within his two pointed ears. His teeth were sharp and purple and his long eyebrows were teal. His eyes were purple and sclera white. The angel placed a Rubik’s cube in front of him. “Ha!” he declared in triumph. Read ‘em and weep, boys! Full…whoa…”

He felt himself being transported in a flash of light to the hotel. Part of the science room that the cat had been in was merged with the hotel lobby…posters of the elements, the solar system and Biblical works of art.

“What in Heaven’s name is going on?

Then he brightened when he saw Stalaro. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed. “You made it.”

“Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

The cube vanished as Stalaro looked on.

Core raced over to Stalaro and embraced him in a side hug. The dog-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

Stalaro blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here? You know you’re under my contract.”

“My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

“You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

“Maybe,” Stalaro sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

“I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

Stalaro appeared behind him. “Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

“That’s not dirty work at all…”

He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

“With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

Core lifted up the corners of Stalaro mouth with his paws. “Aw come on. Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

His mouth frowned once he let go.

Stalaro walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

The three of us arrived.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Phalla squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

“No!” I protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages moderate sin! Not some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play garbage!”

Core noticed Frank Myrth and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

“Go screw yourself,” muttered Frank Myrth.

“Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Stalaro will watch you.”

I leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! You are going to go insane here!” I grinned, her teeth sharp.

“We’re all mad here,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip. “You don’t scare me.”

Stalaro walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

“It’s amazing!” Phalla beamed.

Phalla leaned in close between me and Stalaro, embracing us in a hug.

“This is going to be very disengaging,” Stalaro exclaimed.

“Stop using that word,” I spat.

Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry.

Stalaro changed his light blue suit into a dark blue funeral outfit with a matching top hat. He did the same with me, Frank Myrth, Core, Klutzy, and Phalla, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. I wore a short tan flapper dress and a round matching ladies’ hat. Klutzy and I stared at our outfits in disgust, while Frank Myrth, Core and Phalla smiled as they stared at theirs. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and paw prints.

“Take it boys,” Stalaro said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

Stalaro sang his reprise to me as we did a slow dance, much to my disgust.

(“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

“You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

“Don’t bring your life to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

“Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

“Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying robotic baby birds. A familiar eagle debater appeared.

“Look who it is harboring the annoying opponent! We meet again, Stalaro!”

“Do I know you?” Stalaro asked.

E-Gull looked taken aback.  “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

The birds danced in the air, singing a song about E-Gull trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “My dream is to be the best inventor…in the world. I bring joy to the young…and your hotel…may cause trouble. You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

Stalaro giggled and blushed. “Your baby weiner havor?”

E-Gull looked up from his cards in anger. “How immature!”

Stalaro snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal birds knocked into E-Gull, and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

Stalaro used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

E-Gull emerged from the crater, wings shaking. Stalaro waved a hand, and the eagle was healed.

“Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal bird beside him. E-Gull rolled his eyes.

Stalaro looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

“Anyone hungry?” Stalaro asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

Stalaro led the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

“Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

Stalaro waved his finger at the lit-up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

“Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

0 0 0

A week later, I stared calmly out the window of my hotel, gazing at the teal sky outside. In the distance was a golden gate similar to the one in the other Heaven and several of my Cleansers were standing guard. They had white wings with a single black stripe and wore LED masks except they were white and had no xs over the eyes. They had no horns and wore proper gold and blue armor instead of the short gray shirts and leggings the canon Exorcists wore. These fine warriors never leave their angelic weapons behind in Hell, for if they did, they’d be punished on the spot by yours truly. Their weapons can kill demons and angels alike, so we always have to be careful. Removing their masks, they looked just like regular human-like angels. If I ever met Lute, I’d teach her a thing or two.

The Exterminations still appeared to be going on in Hazbin Hell. Our angelic council often sends us news about what goes on in the canon worlds just to keep us prepared. It’s incredibly hard to enter the canon universe and if we get killed there, it’s double death. That also means the canon characters can’t get killed if they come to our universe…lucky freaks.

The white angelic key in front of me morphed into my handy white dog bodyguard, a creature with sharp pointed ears, sharp teeth, small wings, and eyes along his back. I nicknamed him “EekEek,” because he can shoot fire from his mouth when provoked. I patted him on the head before he scurried off from a knock on the door. The door opened and Phalla came in.

Phalla was my closest servant, a ditzy romantic kind of lady. She had long black curly hair with a gray outline, a teal heart over her right eye (both her eyes were fine, it was just for show), and wore a teal-green shirt with white buttons, a white collar, and a Christian Cross necklace. She had a white collar around her neck. Her skirt was white as were her leggings and she wore black shoes. A teal butterfly bowtie was in her hair near her halo. Uniquely, she had butterfly wings with eyes and white angel feathers in them.

I don’t even know her real name but apparently “Phalla” relates to “penis” due to how much she lusts after men. Unlike her, I choose my men wisely and don’t let others choose my name out of mockery. I mean, why didn’t Vaggie switch her vagina name after being with her Adam? Pathetic.

“Princess Coercia?”

“Come in.”

Phalla stepped forward. “Great to see you again, your majesty.”

I turned. “We still have our clients?”

“Yeah, they’re downstairs. You thinking about anything?”

“Family stuff, I guess.”

“Did you hear from your mom yet?”

I smiled. “She talked to me yesterday. Said I was bold to start this hotel project, but she’d support it if it makes more of our people happy.”

“And your dad?”

I sighed. “Too busy as always. Still doesn’t like my idea. Says I’m breaking too many of Heaven’s bulls**t rules.”

“No need to swear all the time,” Phalla chided.

“Swearing is caring,” I smirked.

“Sometimes I think you’d fit better with those edgy demons in Hazbin Hell.”

I scoffed. “At least as a kid, I was brave enough to try a few drops of forbidden fruit in the garden when my parents weren’t looking. Made my wings black and sharpened my free will instincts. Drove them crazy. Why they didn’t have anyone guarding that tree and preventing Roo’s escape even in our world is beyond me.”

Phalla chuckled. “Frank Myrth is cute.”

“What?” I rolled my eyes.

“He is, though. Totally against drugs and porn and all that. And those cute dragonfly wings he has.”

“Whatever. My angel wings are the best there is, and they aren’t even white. Now let’s go get started on our hotel commercial.”

“Our commercial has no chance of being recognized here; even less in the canon worlds…”

“I’ll take my chances,” I said.

The church bells tolled happily from outside as I followed Phalla downstairs.

0 0 0

The television screen later showed my commercial for the Haven Hotel. It first showed two angels with white wings looking bored on a cloud. One had his head on his hand, and another was absentmindedly strumming a small harp.

I began. “Hello there ordinary Saints! Are you tired of following the same rules over and over again? Are Bible study lectures, sermons, and community charities not enough for you? Do you still like to help others? Of course, you do, that’s why you’re in Heaven! But what if I told you there was a place where you could experience true freedom?”

The scene shifted to show a large building made of marble in the sky. A white winged key with a gold eye in the center served as the front piece and the double front doors were golden. The walls were decorated with small sapphires in diamond shapes. The top sign on the roof read in lights: “HAVEN HOTEL.” Off to the left side, attached to the building, was a blue tower which housed a small studio for the angel Stalaro, complete with a dancing pole and a dubstep stereo inside. The lawn in front had golden grass and a Christian Cross on it.

“Welcome to the Haven Hotel,” I announced, “Your path to freedom and safety…founded not too long ago by yours truly, Princess Coerciona Vespar!” I posed with rocker signs and a black crown on my head. “Come place your fate in my hands, and discover your true self, as long as you follow my every command!” The slides showed a drawing of me posing on a golden podium while white-winged subjects prostrated themselves before me. Pub and Chub looked like large butler babies with black wings and thick arrows in their hands as they opened the doors. Above the mantle in the parlor room showed a portrait of me holding a spear and above that was the glowing blue sigil of Archangel Michael. EekEek slept under an onyx table near two blue couches, the frames decorated with eyes. The light fixtures had the appearances of doves and the light blue wallpaper had Hesperius’ royal symbols on it: a dove surrounded by six white wings.

“Look at this gorgeous parlor! And check out our new resident…Frank Myrth, I think his name is.”

Frank Myrth did a small wave before continuing his protection business on a computer. He wore a black suit with teal green vertical stripes, long teal-green gloves, and a white bowtie with a teal center. His right eye was black, and his left eye was white with a blue-green iris. He had white fur like Angel Dust, but he also had four dragonfly wings with eyes on them and white angel feathers. He also wore long white boots.

“We have the best rooms, cleaned by our maid, Klutzy. Hey, Ice Girl!”

A small cyclops turned around and blushed. She had one large blue eye, white skin, short light blue hair with a dark blue streak in it and a halo over her head. She wore a black shirt and a blue dress with a white cat design on it. Her thin arms and legs were white. She was eating a hamburger while a lady model magazine and a video game controller were by her side.

“Are you being messy and lazy again?”

“No?” she asked with a yawn. Icicles briefly hung from her white wings.

“Shouldn’t you get to work so more people can come in and adore my hotel?”

“Well, I was gonna keep playing ‘Slay That Demon,’ but…I guess if it’s for you…just don’t invite any men!”

She slouched and got to work.

“Gotta love that gal!” I chuckled.

“And let’s not forget our bartender of mostly non-alcoholic drinks, Core!”

A tall white cat grinned widely as he folded his hands in prayer. A Bible was next to him on the counter. He had large white wings with lots of eyes and a teal-green stripe with white small Christian Crosses along it. He wore a white top hat with a black Christian Cross and a black Christian Cross necklace. His eyebrows were long and teal with small white stripes on the ends. He wore all white clothing and his tail had blue and green scales on it.

“Welcome to the Haven Hotel, may I interest you in our tenants and the wonderous teachings of Jesus?”

“Hey, you’re not Core!” Phalla exclaimed.

“No,” he replied. “I’m his twin brother Leeson. Core’s doing sacred geometry at a university.”

Phalla facepalmed.

I scoffed. “I don’t even know what his deal is. Creep.”

The camera moved and a frightened bark sounded.

“Oh yeah, let’s not forget the d**k-loving coward, Stalaro! Say hello, loser!”

The blue dog angel frowned at the camera. He wore a light blue suit with navy blue horizontal stripes and a white bowtie. His undershirt was blue with a white Christian Cross design in the center. He had a halo and white angel wings, white pants, light blue sleeves, and white shoes with blue tips. His blue monocle was under his left eye. His two large blue eyes were usually filled with sadness. He carried a magic white microphone with angel wings at the top and a square blue speaker with a white pawprint in the center. He had a gray face and thick blue hair with white tips at the bottom. Finally, he had a thick furry tail in various shades of blue and two large blue and white dog ears.

“This freak likes sweets, dubstep music, light magic, and looking at nude men. He’s always worried about something.” I smirked. “Hey, Stalaro, fetch me some water!”

Stalaro gulped and ran from the room, appearing later with a glass of water. “H-here you go, your majesty!”

“Thank you,” I said. “He’s a great servant, such a coward!”

“P-please don’t be mean!” Phalla called from nearby.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of…” I began as the camera shifted to a shot of the hotel again. “All this and more at the Haven Hotel! Your path to greatness starts here!” The words on the screen read in bold blue, “CALL NOW! PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW OF FIVE STARS OR MORE…unless you’d like to volunteer for target practice!”

I turned off the TV, turned around and smiled. “So, what you do think?!”

Phalla and Stalaro sat dumbfounded on the blue couch.

“Um…” Phalla began, “I don’t really know what that was…”

“Only the best, right?” I grinned.

Phalla began. “One note, Coercia, thank you for so much for making this…seriously amazing…but, maybe the tone is a bit…off…”

I narrowed my eyes.

“We want people to come here,” Phalla said, “And you come across as…um…”

“Selfish,” Stalaro stuttered. “That’s the word.”

“Oh really?” I inquired, pacing back and forth. “I was going for amazing! It’s my hotel, after all.”

“Well not everyone is going to want to serve you right and left,” said Phalla. “There may be royals that come here, too, and you of all people should know when to treat those with respect.”

“As long as they do so for me first,” I said.

“They’ll be freaked out at your…appearance,” Stalaro said. “You aren’t exactly…”

I glanced at my wings. “Bubbly and loving? That’s the point,” I said.

“We’re also part of this team,” Phalla said. “We need to work together, it’s not all about you.”

“Well,” I shrugged, getting an idea. “I suppose if you all want to be at the forefront, I can relax with a Bloody Mother Mary instead.”

Phalla glared at me. Frank Myrth raised his hand.

“Yes?” Phalla asked, blushing at him. Frank Myrth blushed too.

“If you guys are filing a commercial, perhaps we can also discuss our earthly accomplishments, to peak up interests?”

“Your former anti-mafia police career on Earth was fine, but that’s off topic,” Phalla mentioned.

Frank Myrth shrugged. “Just thought I’d throw that out there. Haven Hotel could be a safe place to share past lives.”

“Only if you’re a Saint,” Coercia said. “We need more inclusion.”

“Says the only Heavenborn here,” Leeson mentioned. “I’m surprised that this place isn’t only for Saints.”

I bared my teeth. “It’s for any angel who wants safety from the Satanics. They could attack at any time.”

“So…Satanics can harm any angel, not just Sinners?” asked Klutzy.

“If you’re an Archangel, canon Hazbin character or mythical figure, you’re immune to them,” said Leeson. “Yes, that means you’re vulnerable, too, Coercia.”

I had to admit it was true, but I wanted to strangle that cat in the hat so bad.

Leeson continued. “Also, I believe the Hazbin Exorcists have killed Hellborn demons on the side, not just Sinners.”

“Not surprised,” I said.

“Would you kick angels out into the Satanics if they didn’t follow your rules?” Phalla asked.

I glared. “Depends.”

“A Heavenborn royal willing to let someone be turned into a filthy Sinner just for not obeying you? How low,” Leeson snapped.

“You want me to rip your whiskers off, pussy?” I seethed. “I love you and your philosophies, but go too extreme right and…”

“You’re just an extreme left away from the demons,” Leeson retorted.

“Then why are you even here at this place of freedom? I’m only against the bad Christian bias, not the good parts of it. I’m all for Jesus and love and all that…I just hate it when some people are so stubborn that they get lost in their beliefs and boss others around.”

Leeson snickered. “Ego issues much, hypocrite?”

“Both of you are equally annoying,” Klutzy mentioned. “All I need is some cold, slowness and quiet.” With a glare, she slurped frozen golden ambrosia from a cup with a straw, ignoring the food stains on her dress.

“You’ll get it soon, slob,” Leeson spat. “You’re the epitome of gluttony and sloth.”

“I guess not even angels are perfect,” Phalla added.

“What are you talking about? Angels don’t make mistakes,” I stated.

“Yeah, Hazbin Adam and Lute believed that but look what Lucifer did that got him where he is now,” Stalaro said.

“Good point,” I conceded with a sigh.

Stalaro cleared his throat and did a small smile. “Uh…princess, do you think you could film me snuggling with Frank Myrth? You know, to show this place has love and happiness in it? For those who may secretly like the more…intimate things?”

“I don’t think so,” Frank Myrth made a disgusted face. Stalaro whined glumly. “Okay, then.” Stalaro knew better than to ask Core later…he was under him in a divine contract. Core didn’t have his soul, but Core could ask him to do divine favors on occasion.

“Could I snuggle with you?” Phalla smiled at Frank Myrth.

“Please do,” Frank Myrth grinned in return.

“Get a room, freaks,” I rolled my eyes.

Just then, my cell phone rang with a ringtone of demon screams. “I’ll be back,” I said. I walked off to the side and answered it. “Hello Mother, how are you?”

My face fell and a scowl appeared. “Wait, what? He said that…oh come on! Okay, I’ll be right there.” I hung up.

“What’s going on?” Phalla asked.

“My mother called. She said that Adam…our Adam wants to meet me. Says that my hatred of demons is too strong and to be more ‘harmonious toward others.’ Give me a break.”

“When’s the meeting?”

“Today.” My eyes brightened. “Oh, I know! I will pitch my hotel idea and then I’ll pitch an idea to move the Extermination up six months instead of a year!”

“In our Hell or Hazbin Hell?”

“Both!” I grinned.

“Hazbin Adam already did that,” Phalla mentioned.

“No, he didn’t,” I said.

“As reverse denizens created after the canon characters, we can receive information about the future events of the Hazbin world, provided we don’t interfere.”

“Your talk is nonsense, Phalla! Protecting Heaven is my job!”

“But slaying Sinners in our Hell is very dangerous. It’s not like they just run away and scream; they actually fight back! It’s the reason the Cleansers only do it once a year! To end those suffering for long periods of time and to potentially choose others for Purgatory.”

“Then perhaps I need to train my warriors harder!” I raised my fist. “Find a way to eliminate all the Sinners so they don’t decide to become Satanics and invade our world like they’ve been doing for who knows how long! Never just once a year…they’ve come at such random times!”

“There’s way too many of them,” Phalla warned. “Satanics train for years and they are often regular demons. And besides, Sinners are already being punished by the Seven Deadly Sins until they can try again in Purgatory and on Earth again. That’s how it works.”

“I can see why Hazbin Heaven was so worried about a demon uprising,” Leeson added. “But they would have better reason for an Extermination if the Satanics were also there and if Roo was a confirmed threat.”

“Very true,” I finished. “But it’s not as much fun when I don’t get to be the one that does it,” I grumbled.

“You know you can’t go down there without permission from your parents and the Archangels. Once a year is enough in my opinion.”

“Says you,” I muttered in disappointment. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the meeting and to declare how much I hate this place.”

“I thought you loved your people,” Phalla said. “And I thought you would go out and sing!”

“I do…” I replied, adjusting my black pointed crown, “…if they don’t get in my way. And singing? Um…I guess I’ll do…’Just Another Crappy Day in Heaven’…ugh, I can’t make things up on the spot…”

Phalla groaned as I stormed off.

(I’m not one for cheesy musicals unless they are epic rock solos. I didn’t even bring my electric guitar with me! So, I’ll just skip my embarrassing yelling and swearing and shoving angels around as I made my way to a golden Heaven Embassy building. Maybe I’ll write the song before a concert or something.)

0 0 0

The meeting with Adam and Jesus went about as well as you’d expect…utter crap. And Jesus mostly just stood there as a holograph, listening to me and Adam debate.

“Coercia,” said Adam as he sat in a chair across from me at a round light blue table with high backed light blue chairs. We were in a small meeting room, a similar one that Charlie, Adam and Lute met in. It had blue Egyptian-fan wallpaper, stained glass windows of Christian Crosses, a few seats, a globe with angel wings on it. It had more stained-glass window designs of an Ophanim shooting rays down toward flames. There were even Exorcist sculptures protruding from the walls. Indeed, we were at one of the many golden Heaven Embassy buildings. Adam had short brown/black hair, a goatee, and white skin, looking just like his Hazbin counterpart. He even wore the same outfit with the “A” in the center of his white and golden robe. He had a golden halo and golden angel wings. He even had a matching golden harp-shaped guitar, the top of the guitar a harp shape and the main part curved and golden. However…his eyes were full of kindness and he displayed none of the arrogance of the canon Adam. Strangely enough, Adam enjoyed both ribs and apples. He was actually there in person, not a holograph like Jesus was behind him.

Nonetheless, it still didn’t make me happy when he said things like…

“You are still very young and very headstrong. The people of Heaven count on you and if you dive down into Hell and are killed down there, it’ll cause great fear up here.”

“At least I’ll die with honor,” I said.

“By becoming food for Roo? I don’t think so,” Adam shook his head. “I appreciate you wanting to protect your people. But creating a hotel just to break the rules…”

“To have liberation from mental suffering…” I cut in. “Do you really expect our people to enjoy paradise if they can’t have sex before their afterlife marriages? Or have gay relationships that are 100% accepted as they are in the Hazbin Hell? Or worse yet, have Saints be oblivious to their Sinner ex-family members in both worlds?”

Adam held out a hand. “I’ll explain. Our community is very accepting of all genders and sexualities…”

“Then why doesn’t anyone mention gay marriages on TV here? Why is divorce still a long process? Why are the Heavenborn still getting the best things?”

“Why are you going off topic?” Adam asked.

“Because all these things are connected. Maybe there wouldn’t be so many Sinners if there were more lenient rules.”

“Rules and customs take years or even centuries to change…even here. Being cautious is better than letting people run amok.”

“It’s only a matter of time before some people break down from all the stress and rules.”

“We have healing hypnotic hymns for that.”

I scoffed. “Magic can’t solve everything. Please tell me there’ve been people from here who’ve fallen to Hell.”

“Sadly, yes, but it’s not very common,” explained Adam.

“Then you admit our world and angels are not perfect either.”

Adam somberly sighed. “We do our best for the Lord, and you should, too. Yes, just like Hazbin Heaven, the denizen’s memories of Earth and their Sinner ex-family members are wiped clean. It would be heartbreaking for them to find out that they went to either Hazbin Hell or our Hell. They’d probably try to rescue them, and we all know that is utter suicide. If the citizens become too much like the demons because of your project, they will fall to either one of the Hells and you’ll be held responsible.”

“It would be their fault alone. And rapists and murderers are still family to them, right?” I almost couldn’t believe what I was saying. “So…Sinners can be redeemed right to Heaven, at least in the Hazbin world and the reverse is still true.”

“But you would be the one that encouraged the people to sin in the first place,” Adam pointed out. “Royalty can only do so much before they too, must suffer the consequences. Micheal can easily banish you just like Lucifer if you aren’t careful.”

I seethed, my eyes downcast, not knowing any retorts. Adam looked down upon me…I suddenly felt small and feeble.

“I hereby deny your request to move our Extermination up by six months. We don’t need to take any unnecessary risks. Your job is to save our people up here…and the Cleansers send the message in Hell once per year…‘We choose worthy Sinners to go through Purgatory, and those who have no life left in them shall be slain from their cycle of suffering to the second death.’ Dismissed, your majesty.”

“Man, these worlds are f***ing confusing,” I stomped in defeat, slamming the doors and walking out.

When I got back and entered the hotel, Phalla was waiting for me.

“Feel better, your majesty?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I replied in sarcasm. “If losing to authority and swearing as you walk back works. And I still can’t think of good song lyrics for this s…”

“Wait until you see this,” she said, pulling me to the couch. The whole group was sitting there. Frank Myrth sat up straight in a chair. Stalaro leaned on his cane. Klutzy lounged on the floor. I sat next to Phalla who beamed with excitement. “Oh, I can’t wait to see us on TV! The way we show our love for our people in every scene!”

“It probably won’t be as good without me in it,” I pointed out. “I’m surprised you didn’t just keep mine.”

“And I know that Phalla will look beautiful in each shot,” Frank Myrth smiled, wiggling an eyebrow.

“Shh! It’s starting!” I hissed.

On TV, Phalla smiled as she stood with the group in front of the hotel sans Leeson. They were all dressed in blue, purple and white 1920’s outfits. (Core made Stalaro create them with his magic once he found out about their project, go figure.)

“Welcome to the heavenly Haven Hotel!” Phalla began, before the screen buzzed and cut to the 777News logo and choir music. Everyone groaned in anger.

Catie Carejoy and Ron Wrench appeared on screen, a black-haired woman wearing a blue dress and a male angel with wheels for a head, holding a wrench in his hands and wearing a gray suit. Three black menacing Exorcists appeared on an image on the screen with “EXTERMINATION” under it in red.

“Breaking news in Hazbin Hell today,” reported Catie Carejoy. “We have just received word from the angel messenger council that the next Extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Hell’s princess Charlie Morningstar met with the arrogant canon version of Adam, who, after being upset about the murder of one of his Exorcists, decided to move it up to six months. As expected, her idea to redeem Sinners at her hotel has not yet shown any progress.”

“Do you know what that means, Catie?” asked Ron Wrench.

“No, what does that mean, Ron?”

“It means they are totally screwed!”

“But…we’re safe, right?”

“Of course we are. We’re talking about a different universe here. Though…still keep your eyes peeled for Satanics. They may get fired up after hearing of war in other worlds. Remember, they can transform angels of all kinds into demons…”

“…even pretty royal princesses…” Leeson grinned in my head, making me briefly flinch in horror. He snickered at his use of telepathy. One of my greatest fears was turning into one of…them. I could almost feel sorry for Hazbin Adam and his future demonic fate. (Angels can see future events, too, just not future events in our own universe, which is pathetic.)

“Anyway, goodbye Hazbin Sinners…” Catie Carejoy finished with a worried look.

Recovering, I laughed manically in excitement and Leeson did a “go figure” look while the rest of the group howled in horror.

“Come on guys! This is great!” I declared, standing up. “Those Sinners are getting what they deserve!”

“But they are still human souls…” Phalla countered.

“Being murdered by their own kind if the Exorcists are ex-human!” Stalaro said, suddenly not passive.

“Not too different than the Sinners who die in our Hell,” I shrugged.

“The Hazbin Sinners are more relatable and less…monstrous,” Phalla argued. “Based on what they have shown us on TV.”

“They are not supposed to be. They had their chance on Earth!”

“I have to agree with princess here,” Leeson said with an eerie slim smile. “There is no mercy for the dammed.”

“Then why allow them second chances anyway?” asked Klutzy. “Why allow Hazbin Sinners immortality and free will to do what they want in Hell and not learn their lessons?”

“Because Lucifer is a goofy moron clown,” I replied. “At least, the canon version. Insult our Lucifer and you’ll be turned into a snack.”

“Being stuck in their habits in their world isn’t a good thing. Ironically…” Stalaro began. “In the Hazbin world, Sinners who die noble deaths and overcome their vices can be turned into angels. They only have to do it once. In our universe, they have to prove themselves many times in different ways to make sure it sticks.”

“But they can still die a second death!” I exclaimed.

“Or repent. Or redeem. Or reincarnate. The choices are endless,” said Stalaro.

“So…there is free will…?” I pondered.

“Rather like…more forced choices,” Phalla worded.

“More options…more free will,” I stated. “No use sympathizing with people we don’t know about, especially other demons.”

I stretched and yawned after a pause. “Thanks for a good for nothing commercial, since, you know, there was nothing to see! I’m going to bed.” I strolled off, leaving behind my bewildered and worried group.

“What are we gonna do?” Phalla whispered in a low concerned voice. “I love Coercia, but she only cares about herself and doing what she wants. And she doesn’t care about any human souls.”

“But there’s us,” Klutzy said. “We all used to live on Earth.”

“Yeah, but she’s a Heavenborn, after all,” said Stalaro.

“Not all Heavenborns are stuck-up,” Phalla said. “Jesus always spread the message of second chances…’love thy neighbor.’ What if even faraway demons are our greater neighbors?”

“Coercia hates humans and demons,” said Leeson. “I’m only here because Coercia enjoyed my Bible talks and how we both like Adina. You know, the demon-hating lady. And Core is joining because he likes helping people.”

“I’m here because Core dragged me along,” Stalaro whimpered.

“I’m here because it’s free room and board from…sexy royalty,” Klutzy added with a smirk.

“I’m here because I admire Coercia’s incredible discipline and her army,” Frank Myrth added.

“And I’m here because I’ve been her only outside servant and friend,” Phalla said. “Although she can be mean…I still don’t want her to…fall.”

The group sat in stunned silence. Stalaro stroked the white dog’s fur and he smiled softly.

“Very weird how such an arrogant rebel could bring a group of angelic misfits together,” Frank Myrth mentioned. “I think we should give her a chance. I mean, if all goes wrong, we can all at least walk out.”

“But she can overpower us all,” Stalaro worried.

“Let’s just be on our best behavior,” Phalla added. “Coercia may be bossy, but she has good intentions. She does want her people safe from the Satanics. And she does care about others having freedom almost as much as for herself.”

Frank Myrth pondered and then smiled. “You really do see the good in people, don’t you?”

Phalla smiled. “Trust is what I do best. So…you guys with me?”

Everyone nodded.

“Then it’s settled. Let the Haven Hotel’s grand opening begin! Tomorrow, of course.”

Everyone yawned in agreement and headed to bed.

[lem0nademouth]

eden golan has to have 24 hour security detail in malmo because mobs of people have gathered outside her hotel room to protest her participation in a song contest. the finnish eurovision contestant said a video of him interacting with golan was “posted without his consent” and that the video “is not an endorsement” of Israel. her song, “Hurricane”, was originally titled “October Rain”, but was deemed too political for the contest by the EBU because of its references to the Simchat Torah pogrom.

she’s 20 years old. it’s a song contest. Israel has competed in Eurovision forty five times since 1973. Israel has won Eurovision four times and hosted three times. and this is the first time a contestant’s life has been at risk because of conflict in their home country.

who the fuck is being liberated here? who are we helping? more importantly, who is going to be the collateral damage?

[eden-baileyrp]

For: @arlancaster Where: Bucks Wild

Eden wasn't even technically working tonight, at least she wasn't at Bucks Wild to meet a guy, she just fancied being somewhere she could sink into the darkness. Funnily enough if you were a woman wearing all your clothes in here you were largely ignored, which was a blessed relief to her. Pulling a packet of...special...cigarettes she stepped into the area out the front of the club where she knew Aiden would be thanks to him currently being on shift. They knew each other from the many times Eden was taken to or asked to meet someone at Bucks Wild when she was working, the bouncer had been a big part of her feeling like she was safe a lot of times when the men weren't the nicest - she always knew he was keeping an eye on her which was reassuring.

"You want one?" Holding out the packet with a look in her eye that made it clear there was something additional in them, not wanting to fuck him over if he didn't want to partake.

[fallenbaroness]

I've reach the New Eden's gate some nights ago. I've prove myself worth, lightning the sacred beacon, the flame of Eden. Now, i've must go to the far north, follow the path throug the mist of blessing and find Joseph Seed.

He has to be alive, I don't trust his son, Ethan. Even the folks from New Eden didn't seen to trust him.

So, after hours going through the blessing, choking with his poison, lightning all the beacons that keep my path safe, I've reach the sanctuary.

The Joseph Seed's sanctuary.

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for March 30, 2023

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living

Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 12:28(KJV): 28 In the way of righteousness is life, and in the pathway thereof there is no death. Proverbs 13:1(KJV): 28 A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

Thought for the Day

Verse 28 - Righteousness, as we saw on Day 12, is found only in Christ. To follow Christ is to walk in the way of life. This refers not only to physical life but also to the principles of life; the thoughts, words, and deeds that line up with God's ways. Those who do not line up with His ways lead to death. The fall of man in the Garden of Eden put the death principle into effect for all people. Sickness is one of the results of the fall, an example of the death principle in action. Another example is depression. Interestingly, many English words associated with the death principle begin with the letter "D," such as discouragement, disease, disappointment, disillusionment, despondency, doubt, and despair, not to mention the one behind the "deadly D's" - the devil himself.

We need to be careful to think and do what will activate the life principle. For instance, when we praise God, depression is driven away; when we pray in faith, discouragement lifts; when we stand on healing scriptures, sickness leaves; when we sing and worship God, joy fills our hearts. Jesus promised us abundant life (John 10:10). If we are not experiencing it, we need to commit ourselves totally to God and ask Him to fill us with the Holy Spirit so that we can walk in the Spirit and receive all that He has for us.

Verse 1 - One of the Ten Commandments states that if we want a long and happy life, we must honor our parents (Deuteronomy 5:16). If we are wise, we will not only obey the instruction of our earthly fathers but also our spiritual fathers. Keeping God's Word in our hearts produces blessings of health and long life. What is in our hearts will surface and come out of our mouths. From computer terminology, we have the acronym GIGO: garbage in, garbage out. If we put "garbage" in our spirits, garbage will come out; especially when we are under pressure.

Rebellion toward authorities reveals a heart problem. A rebellious son's refusal to accept his father's correction is his downfall. Those who refuse things that bring life are left to reap the destruction they sow in their lives. The Lord desires to bless all His children, but we cannot be blessed if we insist upon our way. If we refuse to obey God, we will eventually find ourselves in a distressing place. For sinners, without Christ, that place will be hell. For rebellious Christians, that place will be a type of hell now. There are many agonies in the hells created by disobedience; the deepest being the loss of fellowship with God. The only safe place in this world for any of us is the center of God's will. Let us choose to walk on the path of life, not death.

Prayer Devotional for the Day

Dear heavenly Father, thank you, as always, for Your abundant blessings. I may never know until I reach heaven how many times You have had Your angels protect me from the wicked one. I do appreciate You watching over me and my loved ones. Lord, I pray this day for all of the backsliders. Lord, draw them back to Yourself. Forgive them and be merciful to them. Thank You, that Your mercy endureth forever. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Lord, thank you for correcting me when I have missed You in some way. I do want to stay on the path of life. Keep Your children on the path of holiness and righteousness. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

[saintsir4n]

20

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF WAR

1914

IT was time.

Today was the day everything changed for Small Heath, Birmingham really, lads being sent off, promising their families they would return. Trimmed and shaven hair made them all look the same, no individuals just soldiers going off to war.

The journey to the station was gruelling, barely anyone said anything, just small talk as a way to calm their nerves.

Crowds of people were saying goodbye to their loved ones.

First Eden stood by her mother, both ready to say goodbye to her father, who put on a brave face. Neither of them had slept, Celestine sobbed through the night, clinging to her husband, fearful that if she didn't take in every detail of him, she would forget.

"Edie come 'ere," he tugged his daughter to his chest, feeling the shakes emitting from her body. She breathed him in, smelling the cigars and smoke as he spoke, "You are everything to your mother and me. We did the best with what we had to make sure you're set for life. You may be a nurse now, but I doubt that's gonna last with the way you jot down anythin' that comes to mind. You're gonna be somethin', don't let this city hold you back, don't let anyone of these fuckers, hold you back, alright?" he tugged on her chin and saw the tears pooling in her eyes, "Check you're room when you go home, got you a present – well it's for my grandchild more than you," he nodded down to her stomach and softly patted it, before embracing her once more, "keep savin' lives until I get back."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too."

Soon she reluctantly left her mother and father alone, trying to push past the swarm of crying mothers and wives, before stumbling into her godfather and godbrother.

Jeremiah had a sad Isaiah in his arms, the preacher's locs were still intact, and his son gripped them ever so tightly.

"Edie," Isaiah quietly waved at the pregnant woman, who pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"You're a blessing child," Jeremiah mumbled after pulling her in for a hug and kissing her forehead, "Stay safe, the devil is lurkin'."

"He's never stopped," she replied with a sad smile, "Look after my dad please,"

"I will," he nodded, then tightened his hold on his son, "You do the same with my boy."

"I will."

Eden soon spotted a familiar face, one that had healed from the scars that had been slashed and thumped, her breath hitched when he smiled at her and walked over.

"Well doesn't pregancy suit you," Enzo grinned down at the woman, after pulling her away from his family, knowing they weren't going to be welcoming.

"He told you," she beamed up at him, the sides of his hair were shaved, it made him look older, more mature.

"He told me," the ring on her finger caught his eye, "suppose I should congratulate you on the wedding," he teased with a knowing look that she giggled at, "oh how I pray your daughter gets your face and not his beady eyes."

They pair laughed.

"Oh and look," he pulled out something from his uniform pocket, showing off the picture she gave to him more than two months ago, making her tear up all over again.

"Enzo..."

"Should've brought the flower crowns ey?" they heard a voice behind them, smiling when they saw Dorris standing not too far away, "how did we get 'ere? One pregnant and the other a soldier."

"And what are you Dot, The brat?" Enzo joked, folding up the picture and putting it away.

"No that's Edie," she nodded to the pregnant woman, who feigned offence.

"Oi! So what are you then?" Eden teased, "The princess?"

"Got that right," Dorris nodded making them chuckle, as her eyes drifted down to Eden's slightly swelling stomach, "so what are you gonna name the little one then, can I suggest Dorathy?"

"Or Chiara?" Enzo suggested.

Eden raised a brow, "Italian yeah? That's gonna go down well."

"Well, I better find out soon and so what if it's Italian, you're the one carrying the kid," he muttered, then reaching out his hand, "Can I?" he waited for her to nod, then pressed his hand to the bump, blinking back his shock when he realised how real it was, "fuckin' ell, shit's real."

"'Course she is," Eden playfully smacked his hand away, whilst Dorris shook her head.

His eyes shot out of his head when he caught a familiar spot from where he stood, he motioned for them to turn around, pointing to their special place. They spent hours looking down the hill, watching trains go past and now here they were, how times have changed.

"Promise me one thing Mrs. Shelby, Miss Martin," they both waited for him to continue, "When she's born, take her to our old spot," neither of them had been they since the breakup, it was still too sore, "it'll be good for the troublemaker."

"I promise," Eden didn't hesitate and threw her arms around them.

"So do I," Dorris muttered.

"I love you," Enzo mumbled against their heads, it sounded like a proper goodbye and neither of them liked it.

He'd been coming back right? Right.

Pulling away from each other, they each caught the eyes of various people, Eden smiled when she saw Luca staring at her from the distance, and he smiled back. Dorris flirtingly blew Angel a kiss, which he caught without his mother and father seeing. But when Enzo met a pair of pale blue eyes, all he could do was nod.

To his surprise, he revived a nod back.'

"Someone's waitin' for you," his words caused Eden to spin around, seeing the Shelby clan all huddled up many yards away, "Go Dawkins, trains gonna be taking off soon."

With one last hug, she sprinted off, cautious of the time.

"Thought we wouldn't see ya before you left," Arthur steadied her with a grin.

"Couldn't 'ave that could we? A Shelby not sayin' goodbye to a Shelby, fuck that," John teased, keeping his arm wrapped around a teary-eyed Martha who passed a wide-eye Katie to her father.

"John," Polly playfully scolded her nephew, trying to prevent more tears, she said goodbye to Arthur first, leaving Tommy to hug his youngest siblings, Ada wouldn't let go of him and Finn was starting to cry again.

Freddie pressed a kiss to her cheek, even shooting a small smile at the Shelby girl, then went off to his mother.

"Johnny, don't die," Eden joked despite herself.

"Us Shelby's are hard to kill, especially me."

She sighed, "I'm serious."

"I know you are, come here."

After hugging him, she turned to Arthur, who brought her into a warm embrace, "By Arthur."

"Goodbye sister," he pressed a kiss to her head then turned to his youngest siblings, "Come 'ere you lot."

Taking a deep breath she took a few steps and came up to Tommy.

Eden gripped Tommy's hand, determined to not let go, wanting, no, needing him to stay with her, now and always, but it wasn't possible, they both knew it and yet neither relented. Fearing that if she let go, he would disappear, from her vision and possibly her life, she kept holding on, and they both did.

"I'll be back before you know it," he whispered.

She sniffled, "Don't keep me waitin'."

"I know how you get when I'm late, the whole of Small Heath does."

"I love you, y'know that right?" she felt bad for not saying it enough.

"And I love you," he said, feeling his arms hooked around his neck, he responded by holding onto her waist, "Both of you," he could feel her small bump against his stomach. "Make sure to not take that off, need you to stay safe," he gestured to the necklace she wore.

"I promise Tommy," and she meant it, he could see it in her eyes.

It seemed that they were searching each other's faces, to commit every detail to memory.

"You called me Tommy," his heart swelled and threatened to burst from his chest.

She cheekily smirked, "'Bout time right?"

"'Bout time," he paused, "Until we meet again," he vowed, blocking out the world around them, it was just her, only her.

"Don't say that. You'll be different."

"But I'll still be yours alright?" he dared to ask, feeling his throat dry up and his eyes sting with tears.

Eden nodded with hesitation, "And I'll still be yours."

"My wife," he muttered against her lips.

"My husband," and with that a kiss was shared, passionate and devoted. The love she felt was so powerful it would knock her off her feet, and the hope she gave him was enough. Everything she did for him was enough.

His Eden and Her Tommy.

"Last call for the five o'clock train! Boarding will end shortly!" the ticket-taker announced, as the couple pulled away from each other, drawing their foreheads to meet as they collected their breaths.

"It's time," Tommy whispered, closing his eyes, trying to live in this moment. He had everything he wanted in his grasp, but he needed to do this, for his country and his people.

"I love you, Tommy" she breathed out, whilst sadly running a hand over her bump. "Make sure that horseshoe stays on you," she mustered up a teasing smile after patting his behind.

"Watch it," he playfully scolded, "and I will Edie. I promise," he assured her, cupping her teary cheeks and staring into the brown pools he would miss ever so much, "I love you, so much."

And with one final kiss, she was the first to pull back, falling beside Polly, Ada and Finn, Martha softly grabbed her daughter's hand and waved it at the Shelby men's retreating figures It wasn't long before Dorris approached reaching for her hand, with Celestine and Isaiah not far behind.

Until we meet again, Eden mouthed to Tommy, who struggled to look away, but with one pat from Arthur, he turned to bend down and pick up the duffel bags they were bringing with them.

They all made their way over to the ticket-taker who, punched their tickets just as the conductor called out all aboard and blew the train's harsh whistle.

Eden caught glimpses of various faces through the windows, her father, her godfather, Enzo, Luca, Angel, then Freddie, Arthur, John and finally her Tommy as the train car vanished from sight. 

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a/n:

anyone else crying? no just me okay.

originally i was just going to post the epilogue after this, but I'm gonna add a bonus chapter also. 

that manip is so cute Omg, also the fact it room eden so long to call him tommy again was hilarious and I loved that she did it just before he was leaving.