#bless public transportation

[wordynerdygurl]

That's the Brakes

Author's Note: Hello lovelies! This is a little drabble which was inspired by a piece of fan art- a piece of fan art that I foolishly did not like or reblog! The picture was of Steve and Eddie crowded together on a subway... and this little fic was born. If you know the piece I'm talking about, please tag me or, even better, if you're the artist, please let me know! I'd love to tag you and your incredible, inspiring art! Pairing: Steddie Setting: No Upside Down/ Everybody lives and our boys are in the Big City! Warnings: None- it's just a sweet little 600 words!

“And that’s another thing, Harrington-” the subway car lurched forward, Eddie, riding the wave like any expert public transportation surfer would, carried on without interruption, “-I couldn’t get a word in edgewise!  Guy was just blah, blah, blah all night.”

God, Steve was sick and tired of this shit.  Another day, another story about a failed first date and another chance for him to deny just how much it hurt to hear Eddie talking about a new person that had caught his eye when he- Steve Harrington- was right there!  Clinging to his sanity and the metal rod that connected to the train’s ceiling with a white-knuckled grip.    Still he managed to chuckle goodnaturedly over the squeal of braking train tires, “Usually that’s your job, huh?  Talking nonstop, I mean.” Beneath their feet the city rolled by as Eddie let go of the leatherette strap that now swung freely between them to croon mournfully, “Why must you cut me so deeply, sir?” And maybe he would have said more, teased and taunted and twisted Steve up until he couldn’t think in the humid subway car where it smelled like chemical covered urine and a thousand sweaty bodies and where the scratchy speakers announced locations that didn’t match any map he had ever seen.  Maybe Eddie would have waited for Steve to play along?  Giving him half a chance to make his own joke and then they would both be laughing before Eddie went off on a tangent about dice or mice or metal men and how they weren’t robots but they weren’t not robots either. Whatever, it didn’t matter, because just as Steve opened his mouth to respond the train slammed to a hard stop, rocking him backwards.  Thankfully, he was holding on tight.  But Eddie, well, Eddie pushed into him at roughly the velocity of a speeding transit authority subway car, his wiry frame colliding with a solid wall of Steve. Leather clad arms instinctively wrapped around his torso, a mop of wayward waves flew into his face and then there were eyes, round and deep and impossibly rich with fringey lashes that framed his bestest friend’s momentary panic, staring up and into his own.  Lips, pink and plush and so fucking pretty, parted around the eloquent exclamation of “Uh-” and Steve knew that Eddie saw it.  

Could pinpoint the exact moment when the lithe metalhead nerd read Steve’s thoughts.  The unguarded ones about hearts and love and forever.  Thoughts about kissing that so close to his own smart mouth until the pair of them were gasping for air. Steve knew Eddie saw it all written in plain English across his face and held his breath.  Keeping one hand on the support bar but daring to let the other curl along the line of Eddie’s black belt, his fingers splayed over a denim clad hip before pulling them closer together only to whisper, “I got ya, Ed.” “I guess so, huh, Stevie?”   There was no use trying to stop the smile that filled his face when Eddie steadied himself using Steve for support.  That wayward hand of his having wandered under a once black, now softly and subtly grayed t-shirt to stroke against the firm flesh of Eddie’s back without question or complaint.  Nose to nose now, the train grunted to a start, picking up speed between stations, but Eddie didn’t move away. 

Swaying together along the rail car’s route Steve held onto the grabber bar, Eddie held onto him and if they stepped onto the city’s grimly platform two stops later, fingers entwined, that was nobody’s business but their own.

Tag List: @sxlly-pxbble @kerri-leighjade @mediocreaf @weird-stranger13 @cupiden  @sereisstuff @elviqs @ethereal-daydreamerr @armyangxls @alana-stewart @darkhairedmenrule @b1tchbabytears @ravencrap-hufflefuck  @rosegoldarti @atlwhatevs @mermaidsandcats29  @aereth  @drfrank211 @ladysteddie @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @sweetsweetjellybean @sammy-jo19777 @hiscrimsonangel

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

[melit0n]

I think there's a special place in Hell saved for people who put their bags/suitcases on the seat next to them on stuffed trains

[purplecelestial-buddy]

Nothing quite like the bond between you and the person beside who has also been sleeping for most of the trip

[airenyah]

blessed to be living in an era of internet and smartphones where there's apps for public transport and i don't have to figure out where to get my ticket and how the fuck it works with the zones

[falklore]

hot girls be riding the public transport

[persephoneflouwers]

I’m Italian but I’ll write this in English so the last anon can understand. AFHF was an extremely subjective experience. I saw people fainting and having panic attacks with my own eyes, but I also saw how quickly security and Louis’ bodyguards acted. They were also super quick to hand out fresh water to anyone who asked for it. Personally the situation among the crowd was difficult at times because I felt overwhelmed and suffocated by the crowd, I hadn’t a single centimeter left to move my head, let alone to breathe. The situation was way better at the end of the parterre even though I wasn’t even that close to the stage. As for the aftermath, there was no public transportation and people had to wait at the local Mc Donald’s for a taxi which I can assure was very difficult to get. It’s just there were less people at the festival, most of them drove there, some others bought tickets for various bus companies and some others maybe had the accommodation near the venue but yeah, some of us had our problems to get back as well. So yeah, it was a great experience but it wasn’t the best for all us, just very subjective…as everything else

Sorry to hear this ☹️

[lifeofmarvvel]

I love good public transportation I love that I get to ride for free bc I'm a college student in a college town

[willowchild]

A big flex on my part is that old people LOVE me

[imsofreakingtired]

modern!sevika - cute/silly hcs

(that picture,, shes so precious jdhjfsdhnd)

will walk confidently into the room and stand there staring blankly, completely forgetting what she came in there for. sees you and gives you a kiss on the forehead. leaves. 5 seconds later she comes back, grabs her prosthetic arm, and walks out again

lowkey likes when it snows and the streets are icy because that gives her an excuse to make you hang onto her arm in order not to slip (she never slips)

rarely dreams, and when she does it's mostly nightmares, but sometimes she sleep talks the most random things. you wake up to hear her mumbling something like "the chicken is crisper when it's burnt, but i don't want your oil." will also answer you in her sleep if you ask her follow-up questions. remembers none of it in the morning.

or she'll just swear in her native language and you've picked up enough Hindi to wonder whose mother she is cursing.

gets car ad jingles stuck in her head periodically and is always humming something under her breath as she works or vacuums or whatever

has incredible navigational skills when walking or taking public transport but somehow gets lost every time she drives. google maps is the bane of her existence.

falls asleep in front of the TV at 9:30 sharp like a middle aged dad. i mean the TV could be on full blast, in the middle of a climactic action scene and she's knocked out snoring. but when you wake her up to get her into bed she will not be able to fall back asleep until well past midnight

whenever she sneezes and you automatically say "bless you" she NEVER FAILS to give you a deadpan look and say "i am not blessed."

will cackle at bad jokes long after you stop even pretending to find them funny

she's an unwilling morning person. always up early but never happy about it.

when she's stressed she just disappears and fixes something. one time she replaced all the handles of every sink in the house

reads almost exclusively non-fiction books on mechanics, neuroscience, and roman history.

has awful hearing and makes you repeat yourself 23 times every time you say something to her from another room...

...but then gets irritated if someone makes her do the same thing.

loses everything somehow. her keys. her glasses. her arm. her left boot. her books. her other boot. her wallet.

(and she never fails to give you a heart attack about it. she'd say in the most casual fuckin voice, "i swear my wallet was just here." and you take off searching for it only for her to find it in her pocket)

sometimes you have cozy nights in together: bake cookies, burn incense, smoke a joint. she is extremely sweet when she's high. she can't stop giving you little kisses all over and tells you huskily that you're the best thing that ever happened to her.

but also in her normal state she has a habit of bluntly saying things that hurt you unintentionally. like when you need her to give emotional reassurance, but she gives you a stone cold solution instead.

she's learned this hurts you and tries to watch her words. not always successfully, but you know she tries.

will never touch social media and no amount of teasing, begging, persuading, cajoling will get her to change her mind.

does not particularly like kids but has a sixth sense when it comes to looking after them. like one time at a family barbecue she caught the little kid of your relative when he fell off a tree branch, single-handedly, purely by instinct. he might have broken a bone otherwise or worse. she becomes something of a local legend for that event.

has the funniest bedhead in the mornings like her hair sticks out everywhere. you want to take a picture and use it as her contact pfp but you also don't want to die

will do the taxes with ease but she's uncomfortable with customer service phone calls. every time you need to contact an agency about something she stands next to you like a nervous kid while you argue with the sales representative.

drinks way too much caffeinated tea and coffee. refuses to cut back on caffeine because of the withdrawal headaches.

will trip over literally anything. and bump into everything. never feels nor remembers where the bruises come from. kicks doors shut and flings them open and always breaks the hinges. she doesn't do this intentionally, she just forgets her own physical strength.

[aangelinakii]

BATBOYS AS ROMANTIC MOVIE LEADS.

note : so basically the batboys and what romance movie / love interest character they would are !!!!

BRUCE WAYNE as...

CAPTAIN VON TRAPP ( the sound of music )

no i'm being so fr when i first watched this a few months ago i was so contemplating writing a fic or series of this exact scenario,, like reader is a nanny or something for bruce wayne's kids and they fall in love

take away nazi germany and it's LITERALLY a bruce wayne love story

him and his many kids

he would be slow to warm up at first, because at that time i imagine him to be very robert pattinson, very emo very lonely, very lego batman as in falsely independent

but then he realises he's in love with the person right in front of him, whom his kids adore, and he would do anything for them

DICK GRAYSON as...

JOHNNY MARTIN ( penelope )

if you haven't seen penelope this is your sign to go watch it because james mcavoy plays THEEE most dreamy man i have ever seen

he falls in love with who you are, not what you could be or what other people say you are,, he makes his own judgements and sticks to them, even everything you hate about yourself he sees the beauty in it all

literally ready to give up everything for That person

he may make a silly mistake like johnny did in the filmb, but you gotta realise dick grayson is not the man you want to let get away GO CHASE YOUR MAN GET HIM BACK

anf also the ending scene where johnny and penelope kiss HELLO he is literally putting his whole james mcavussy into that kiss and we all know dick grayson wouldn't half ass anything for the one he's most in love with ;(

JASON TODD as...

PATRICK VERONA ( 10 things i hate about you )

you can't tell me the whole bad boy and miscommunication thing wouldn't happen because it just WOULD

like say after everything's happened, jason too is a little bit emo and is this brooding "bad" kid who smokes in the corner of the library or something and hangs out at bars after school

he wants to make a little extra cash just to be extra rebel (he just doesn't want to ask bruce for money because he's going through a phase) and he doesn't reallllyyy care about the person he's being paid to take out

but then it hits and every time he looks at them angels start singing and they glow like they've been kissed by the gods

TIM DRAKE as...

JESSE WALLACE ( before sunrise )

okay forgive me if i get anything wrong here it's been a very long time since i last watched this movie but

tim has that cheekiness when he's in love that jesse has, maybe not exactly as cheesy (i can't watch the kissing scenes becquse they're so sloppy lol), but he falls and he falls hard

when he likes / loves someone they literally take up every fibre of his being and morph him into a lighter, happier person

he notices the little things, like the scene of wanting to tuck celine's hair behind her ear but being too shy because she already did it ???? that's SO tim because it's like he wants to be this suave macho guy, but he's just a little bit shy at the same time at initiating things

but he's in a european country getting all cultured and he's met this amazing person and he can't just let them get away

DAMIAN WAYNE as...

MR DARCEY ( pride & prejudice )

LOLLL yes i did it i could so totally see damian as like this awkward little thing but he shows he cares with the little things, like noting you prefer to walk so he asks to accompany you as opposed to taking public transport or driving ????

and also the hand thing

is so freaking damian

like he'd be a bit withdrawn, definitely awkward and he doesn't know how to act but he wants you BADDD sooo what daddy wants daddy gets

technically he is royalty right ?? i don't think mr darcey was royal but he definitely held a lot of prestige, so he'll be respected, have the manners he was taught to have growing up and struggle to talk to you any other way than to refer to you as if you were a blessing to walk this earth (but you're his blessing so it's okay)

[baepsays]

Domesticity is a privilege, and privilege is attracted to Gojo Satoru.

Wait we might need to reiterate that. Because if privilege is attracted to Satoru, and being domestic with the love your life is a privilege — how come he hasn't attracted that wishful life yet!?

I mean he's already privileged (in capitalistic and aesthetic sense), he is hopelessly in love with you, so by default next outcome in this equation must be—you, him, and your cats, chilling in your bed. Just watching the rerun of your overwatched favourite show while the cats cuddle up to you two.

Now the only problem is despite being capitally and aesthetically blessed by default, the whole wooing the love of your life thing doesn't happen by staring at them from a distance while making up little scenarios in your head —how your first date would go, your first kiss, what if you met back in high school, meeting the parents, getting their blessings, getting married, and adopting two cats.

You might call him pathetic, but do not worry his friends do not shy away from voicing that fact out every two seconds. Because every two seconds he's letting out a big sigh and going "y/n would like that." or,

"y/n should try this."

"y/n"-

You get the gist of it. Really- thoughtful of him.

So this brings us here, THE Gojo Satoru sitting on the curb of the sidewalk infront of your building. With a bouquet in his hands, decked up in a three piece (probably Italian) custom suit, tie is tied rather not how a tie should be tied. But it works for him. Everything works for him.

Now do not take him for a creep! He's a gentleman of the highest stature. Gojo is actually waiting here for you for that date he secured with you after graciously asking you (practically begging you and with the help of Geto Suguru who made the dire mistake of introducing you to him in the first place).

"Satoru? What are you doing here?"

That is a valid question to have, to walk up to your building, exhausted after work and to see your date sitting outside your building, on the sidewalk nonetheless. Isn't he loaded? Where is his car even?

"Oh I was waiting for you! What are you doing out so late?" At this point he got up to stand face to face with you (took a lot of courage for him to do that!).

"I had to do overtime and, no, wait. Why are you waiting for me at 2 AM?

"Oh you know to pick you up for our date!"

"Satoru. That is tomorrow. I am supposed to see you at 4 PM tomorrow. Were you planning on to camp out here all night? where is your car??" (my concern as well)

"First of all- I got too excited and I couldn't sleep. sooooo-" he stretches it on, what's about to come next couldn't possibly be any better.

"So I thought I'd put on the suit I bought for our date! Then I thought hmm well now if I sleep in this it'll get creases and I won't have much time to get it ironed. Then I saw the flowers, I was growing to give you, sort of wilting away. And I couldn't possibly give you dead flowers for our first date! And I was waiting in my car, then it got towed away, and-"

"STOP."

What do you even do in this situation? Tell him to go home? How is he going to do that with practically no public transport working at this hour and his car gone. Even you barely caught the last train home. I mean any other individual would get weirded out, get angry, and upset. But you, well,

"How about instant ramen and a movie for a first date, on my couch?"

I suppose you are attracted to Gojo Satoru just as much as privilege is attracted to him. And oh what a privilege it is to be loved and to be wanted like that one soft blanket you just want to snuggle up into at the end of the day.

.

.

.

To check out more of my stuff click this.

[thursdayg1rl]

Guy sitting across me on the train is so Kendall coded it’s stupid

[prettylilyanime]

Blooming Hearts ♡ DRABBLE 01

˚✿˖ Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem reader

˚✿˖ Synopsis: In which Bakugou not only taught you how to use the public transportation system, but also the wonders of a 7/11 (A continuation from chapter 5 / deleted scene from chapter 6)

˚✿˖ tags/warnings: 18+, smut in the later chapters, reader is spoiled, shy reader, they're all third years at UA, Fluff, strangers? to lovers trope, not really strangers, miscommunication, drama, y/n just wants to make friends, reader is canonically pretty, reader is a hero in training, whipped bakugou, she falls first but he falls harder

˚✿˖ Authors note: This Drabble is a continuation of this chapter!

˚✿˖ Masterlist

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The train ride had been… an experience.

Between Bakugou’s attitude (which you’re learning is incredibly sassy) your near-death encounter with inertia and stiletto boots, and the fact that his hand had been on your waist for far longer than necessary, you were convinced your heart had been put through an endurance test.

Aizawa and his crazy assignments could never get this level of heart pounding anxiety from you.

But somehow, miraculously, you made it to your stop without combusting!

Which led you here.

A 7-Eleven.

The sushi spot you had been craving had been sadly temporarily closed for renovations, and this store had been right around the corner.

“Wow, this is incredible! I’ve never been in one of these before!” you gasp, eyes sparkling as you take in the rows of cheap candies, brightly colored cup ramen, and an ungodly amount of processed snacks.

So many different flavors to choose from!!

Behind you, a deep, unimpressed voice deadpans, “It’s literally just a 7-Eleven.”

You, of course, blatantly ignore him. Instead, you grab a small shopping basket—its handle slightly wobbly, the paint chipping at the edges—and immediately start filling it with snacks like a kid let loose in a candy store.

“This might just be my new favorite store!!” you announce, practically vibrating with excitement as you move toward the freezer section.

You scan the ice cream selection with growing delight, marveling at the sheer variety of brands and flavors—all for a shockingly low price.

This so beats the organic, gluten-free, sugar-free, fun-free supermarkets your mom usually had her staff shop at on your behalf.

Bakugou, who has been trailing behind you like an exhausted babysitter, watches as you pluck a pink tub of strawberry swirl ice cream from the fridge. Your face lights up at the cute graphics on the packaging.

is that a strawberry cow?! Eeek!

“I’ll get this one too,” you hum, hugging the tub to your chest like a prized possession.

Bakugou nearly rolls his eyes into another dimension. “Taught ya how to take the damn train to become a better hero, and now you’re gonna kill it all with this shitty food.”

You gasp, clutching the ice cream closer like it’s your firstborn child.

“Are you joking?!” you exclaim. “This ice cream is gonna make me feel better before I go to sleep! This is incredible!”

Bakugou snorts as you absentmindedly go to adjust your glasses—except, oh, wait.

You’re not wearing them.

Your fingers meet empty air, your contacts having replaced your usual frames for the night.

A slow, knowing smirk stretches across Bakugou’s face.

Your ears heat up. Hastily, you shove your ice cream into the basket he’s—when did that happen?!—holding and mumble, “Shut up. It’s a habit.”

He doesn’t even bother with a comeback.

He doesn’t have to.

The glint of amusement in his sharp, crimson eyes says everything.

In just one day—somehow spent mostly by your side—Bakugou has come to one solid, undeniable conclusion:

You’re just like the rest of his idiot friends.

Just blessed with a far better face than shitty hairs or dunce face.

Honestly, before today, he half-wondered if you were mute. That theory shattered the moment you started rambling in the middle of the station, your excited outbursts completely at odds with the cool, composed image you gave off.

The new you in front of him was almost jarring.

Not that he’d ever really paid much attention to you before.

You were just quiet. Unusually so. You didn’t hover around the usual class friend groups, never really stuck with the girls of 1-A. He would’ve noticed—he’s been dragged to enough forced social outings by Kirishima to be painfully aware of the class dynamics.

Yet somehow, three years into your degree, he was only just now hearing what your voice actually sounded like.

Not that you were forgettable—far from it. Your face was one of the first he recognized when he stepped into class 1-A on his first day of freshman year.

And your last name? Impossible to ignore.

Bakugou never really gave a shit either way.

But one thing had caught his attention—the way people wouldn’t shut up about you when it came to the Big Three. It was no surprise when he, Deku, and Todoroki solidified their spots. That was a given. But you?

He remembers his brows raising when he first heard your name being thrown around in the conversation. He wasn’t necessarily threatened, just... intrigued.

The media adored you. Your social accounts had more followers than any other student at U.A., and magazines were already fighting for the chance to put you on their covers.

All the while, you could barely mutter a full sentence to anyone in class.

Now, watching you stand in the middle of a 7-Eleven, holding two cans of soda in your perfectly manicured hands, he can’t help but snort to himself. You carefully scan the sugar content on the labels like it actually matters—only to immediately toss both cans into the basket without hesitation.

Figures.

“Y’know, if you’re just gonna buy both, why waste time lookin’ at the numbers?” he asks, shifting the basket to one hand as he watches your little decision-making process unfold.

You huff, completely unbothered. “It’s about making an informed choice.”

“Bullshit. You just wanted both.”

You shoot him a look but don’t bother denying it, instead grabbing a pack of Pocky and tossing that into the basket too.

You’re already fixated on the next aisle, eyes practically sparkling at the ridiculous variety of instant noodles. He’s never seen someone get this excited over convenience store food in his life.

And somehow, he finds himself following along, weirdly unbothered by all of your little quirks that would have had him rolling his eyes and snapping at all the other idiots in his life.

Bakugou clicks his tongue, annoyed at his own thoughts.

Comparing you to the extras he’s been stuck with for years? What kind of bullshit was that?

Yet, as he watches you crouch down to examine the instant ramen selection like it’s some kind of treasure hoard, he realizes—against his better judgment—that it doesn’t piss him off the way it should.

You hum thoughtfully, manicured fingers tracing over different flavors, your brows furrowing in deep concentration. “How am I supposed to choose just one?” you mumble, more to yourself than to him.

He snorts. “You’re not. You’re gonna throw at least three in the basket and pretend like you struggled to decide.”

You gasp, turning to glare at him, scandalized. “You think you know me so well, huh?”

“I know an indecisive dumbass when I see one.”

And just as he predicted, you grab three different flavors and plop them into the basket without another word.

Bakugou exhales through his nose, shaking his head. Somehow, despite himself, he follows as you dart to yet another shelf, eyes alight with childlike wonder.

He should be annoyed. Should be telling you to hurry the hell up so you can both get out of here, but instead, he just watches as you get distracted by a random keychain display near the register, fiddling with a tiny All Might figure that probably wouldn’t even fit on your fancy designer bag.

“This is so cute,” you murmur, flipping it over in your hands before glancing at the other characters on the rack. A tiny Bakugou keychain dangles right in front of you, and before he can react, you’re holding it up with a smirk.

“Oooh, look, it’s you,” you tease, shaking it so the little chibi version of him bobs wildly.

Bakugou scowls. “Put that shit back.”

You only laugh, placing it back on the hook (but in a better spot, front and center, because you think it’s actually pretty adorable).

By the time you finally reach the register, your basket is overflowing. Bakugou just stares at it, unimpressed. “Y’gonna eat all this tonight or somethin’?”

You shake your head, grinning. “No, well maybe the icecream, yes.”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue, As the cashier hands you the bag, you beam like you’ve just won the lottery.

And for some reason, as the two of you step back into the cool night air, Bakugou finds himself shaking his head with something that—if he didn’t know better—almost feels like amusement.

What the hell was he getting himself into?

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[agoodflyting]

Why Aziraphale's White Satin Pumps Are Ridiculous (And I love them)

So this is a continuation of the lengthy rant I posted here about Aziraphale's outfit in the Bastille scene of GO and all the ways it would have pissed people in Revolutionary Paris off. I got to the shoes and realized they needed their own post.

Aziraphale's Blessed Little White Satin Pumps

To recap: in 1793, Paris is in control of The People, who are making up for decades of oppression and poverty by beheading the fuck out of everyone remotely nobility-adjacent. And into this mess strolls one Angel in white satin heels.

Some facts about this style of shoe:

The buckle means they're specifically court shoes as opposed to streetwear. Buckles were out of fashion unless you were hanging out with royalty and needed to look fancy. Everyday shoes had laces by this point.

This heel style for men is specifically called Louis Heels because they were popularized by Louis XVI. Y'know... the king Paris just beheaded in 1793. Here's a pair in a similar style from the late 18th century:

One big difference you may notice in Aziraphale's shoes and the ones above is that the ones above are normal, practical leather whereas Aziraphale is wearing white satin shoes. This is because Aziraphale is ridiculous.

The Allure of White Satin Shoes

In this modern world of laundry machines and affordable shoes I feel that people do not fully understand how absolutely over-the-top ridiculous a pair of white satin shoes would be to people in 1793.

First off lets address the fact that they're white:

If you have ever known anyone who was super into sneakers, you know that keeping white shoes white is a full-time job. It was even more so in the 18th century. The fact that Aziraphale is wearing perfectly clean white shoes says one thing: "I am rich enough to be able to pay someone to clean these, and to replace them when they invariably get stained."

And they would get stained. Oh would they get stained.

Because he is not wearing them for their intended function - lazing around indoors. No, he is wearing them on the streets of 18th Century Paris. And 18th Century Paris was fucking disgusting.

Kind of like how London had its famed London Smog, Paris had its own brand of filth. A unique Parisian muck made up of mixtures of mud, offal from the slaughterhouses, animal waste, human waste, household garbage, and rotting dead animals, all mashed down into what a British visitor called, "A thick, black, unctuous oil, that where it sticks no art can wash it off."

Voltaire said: "We blush with shame to see the public markets, set up in narrow streets, displaying their filth, spreading infection, and causing continual disorders…" and called Paris a city, "Partly of gold and partly of muck."

This is a city with over a million people, with no central plumbing, and no public sanitation laws. Households threw their waste in the streets. Businesses like tanneries and slaughterhouses threw their waste right out into the streets. Horses were the main mode of transportation and nobody was cleaning up after them. It was apparently a thriving hustle that Parisian beggars would hang out in the worst areas with big pieces of wood, and charge wealthy people money to walk on the board over the worst puddles of filth.

That's where Aziraphale is wearing his pristine little white satin shoes. In a city so gross it has its own world-renowned stinking black mud.

And on the subject of those shoes, lets look at the satin part... By the 18th Century, France was no longer dependent on Asia for its silk and satin. There was domestic production, but it was still expensive. A book about the cost of living published in London in 1770 lists the price for a single yard of satin at just over 18 shillings. For comparison, here are some other things you could get for 18 shillings in London at the time:

two box seats at Covent Garden

six barrels of oysters

a really nice wig

a week's wages for a skilled tradesman

15 steak dinners

3 secondhand coats So the outer fabric alone on Aziraphale's shoes cost what it would take a skilled worker about a week to make. Again, that's just for the fabric. Since the shoes themselves were high quality, would be handmade, and required skilled labor, the shoes themselves would be expensive even without the satin. In 1788 a pair of leather gentleman's court shoes cost about 6 livres in France. By comparison, a pound of bread, which was considered a day's food for a peasant, cost roughly 10 sous. So we'll roughly estimate that Aziraphale's shoes without the satin cost the equivalent of 12 days worth of food for an average person.

And, I cannot stress this enough, he is wearing these white shoes, which could easily feed an entire family for weeks, in a city that is abso-fucking-lutely filthy with stinking, staining, sticky mud.

Aziraphale's shoes, probably:

I mean - imagine you're a normal everyday French peasant during the Revolution. You spend decades struggling to feed your family, and some dingbat walks up to you in white court shoes styled after the king you just executed. Shoes that cost more than you make in a month, which he is wearing around your notoriously filthy city with apparently 0 fucks given for the fact that they will be absolutely ruined and will have to be thrown away. (Obviously Aziraphale could just miracle them clean but you're a revolutionary peasant, you don't know that.)

And then this walking audacity asks you for cake.

Aziraphale, hon, you are so lucky they decided to try to execute you and not just like. jump your dumb ass in an alley and steal your pretty little white satin shoes.