#bless her and her low-key chaotic energy

[sharama]

Me @ the first one: lol what

Remembers SGE auto attack is literally -smacks with hand-

Me: lmao

[meepmoopfanfics]

you don’t get a win unless you’re playing the game: Daveed Diggs x Reader Chapter 6 Part 2

The familiar sound of Alexander Hamilton blares through your phone speakers waking you from your deep, restful sleep. You reach over to snooze it but are almost too excited to continue rehearsals to even close your eyes again. It’s 7:30am. Monday. It’s finally here. The day you would rehearse for your dream show in front of your dream cast. The sunlight peeks through your window, shining warm, bright light on your cheeks, filling your soul with positive energy for the day. You reach over to your nightstand to flip through your script to make sure you’re able to nail all of the alto harmonies in front of the whole cast today. 

You had your rehearsal outfit laid out from the night before. You weren’t one to be this organized or prepared... but for Hamilton?! You were instantly on top of your shit. You pulled on your favorite black Lululemon leggings, a camo sports bra (you’re ready for battle here!), and a cute cropped burgundy shirt from Urban Outfitters. You threw on a white Nike hoodie over top to keep you warm when you weren’t dancing. You giggled at the thought of potentially wearing your copy of Daveed’s signature Purple Oaklandish hoodie to rehearsal that you got as a gag gift from your parents on your last birthday. One day that would have to happen. Would be fangirling at its finest. Maybe you would eventually just burn it so no one saw.

Your subway ride to the Richard Rogers was not as chaotic as usual. The trains were on time and you felt like the universe was finally on your side. You stopped into the coffee shop across the street to grab a large black coffee and a classic bacon, egg, and cheese on an English muffin with avocado to get you going. You were there a little early so you could foam roll and stretch while listening to chill music. You always needed your “me” time to get into your groove before facing the day. You walked into your dressing room and were so happy to see Michelle already there, devouring her favorite Panera bagel, the cinnamon crunch. Mid-bite, she squeals at seeing you.

“Y/N!!! You have me on the edge of my freakin seat here. What in the HELL happened after brunch?”

You giggled and felt the heat come over your face. 

“Let me tell you Michelle... it was everything.”

“Was it good?!” Michelle immediately blurted out.

“...yeeeeeeeah...” You said through a smirk. 

“WAS HE BIG?!” Michelle yelled.

“SHHHHH” You said to shut her up while snickering.

You both laughed so hard you felt tears coming to your eyes. Thankfully there was no one else in the dressing rooms near you yet so you weren’t that worried. 

Until two seconds later when you heard a knock from wall next to you.

Michelle and you screamed and continued to die laughing. 

“Laaaaaadieeees!! What’s goin oooon?” Anthony bursts into your dressing room without warning. “What are ya laughin’ about?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing!” You said quickly back, continuing the laughter.

“Oh yeah?! Nothin at all to do with Diggs, right?” Anthony’s signature grin came across his face as his face turned red as he held back laughter. He nudged your arm a couple of times. “I heard the whole thing, Y/N, the walls are paper thin. But it’s chill! It’s chill!” He waved his hands signaling that he would keep a secret and would have your back. Then out of no where he whisper taunts “Diggs is after the bullet! Diggs is after the buuuulleeeeet!!!”

Thankfully Anthony’s actual dressing room was upstairs next to Diggs. Ant was only visiting the PT room to warm up.

“You’re the absolute worst!” You responded.

“Enjoy your breakfast ladies!” Anthony waved goodbye in the silliest way and headed back out. 

You and Michelle caught up over your breakfast sandwiches. You showed her the note you wrote on your phone about your hookup, trying not to miss out on any details when telling her. Your attentiveness to details and your photographic memory were so helpful when it came to choreography, but when it came to remembering events, it was both a blessing and a curse. Re-reading it, however, was having you break a sweat more than if you started warming up.

Michelle then filled you in on her evening with Cedric. You knew the two of them were bound to become a thing even though she was hesitant about it. And thankfully you wouldn’t have to worry about Cedric coming on to you in any way.

--

Time passed and both you and Michelle warmed up together, foam rolled, and got ready to go. You started to get butterflies thinking about dancing for Lin Manuel Miranda. He was having his alternate, Javier, stand in for rehearsals so he could watch from the theater. He was going to see your every move of Act 1. You were proud of yourself for how well you knew the show and felt perfectly comfortable with your castmates. 

“Alright good morning everyone!” You heard from the loud speaker that reached all rooms backstage. “You all can make your way to the stage for our first run through of Act 1! Make sure you grab your mic belts and mics from sound. Thank you! Everyone to stage, please, everyone to stage.”

“I can’t believe this is happening.” You said aloud. 

You made your way to the stage. Even though you already had seen the set and the majestic view of the theater seats in the Richard Rogers, it still gave you chills every time. The intricate detailing in the set design was something you could stare at for hours and continue to find something new.

You walked out of your comfort zone to stand next to Anthony who was giving Jasmine a shoulder massage. They were so sweet and truly the epitome of what love/healthy relationships should be and look like.

You looked around at everyone chatting to each other in awe. There was Oak making Michelle and Cedric laugh as if they’d been best friends for years, Renee and Philippa giggling and rubbing each others arms to stay warm, and Leslie pacing already in his craft, perfecting every last detail to ensure he still had that Tony winning performance in him.

Stephanie was seated a few rows back to get a good view of the full stage and balcony. Andy, the choreographer, wasn’t there this week since he was working on some other projects, but he would be coming to watch soon. You couldn’t wait to dance for Andy again, your dream choreographer. She sat next to Alex Lacamoire with the “god mic” which she would be shouting out notes and corrections from during the run.

“Check check...” Stephanie said in a low, radio-esque voice. “It’s me, God.”

The entire cast and crew erupted in laughter.

“Just jooooking it's Steph. WHAT’S UP WOLF PAAACKKK?!”

The OBC woo’d, shouted, and clapped. 

Then you heard a familiar raspy voice shout, just about an inside voice, “It’s too early SK.”

You looked over to see Daveed looking hella hot with his hair pulled up a-la Lafayette style with his glasses on, scratching the scruff of his freshly trimmed beard.

“It’s too early for shots out the grammy hangovers, Diggs.” Stephanie responded playfully. You hoped one day you’d get to take one out of the grammy.

Daveed looked tired, but so sexy as expected. He was dessed in a Black Oaklandish tank and red sweats, with a black hoodie tied around his waist. You instantly you got a sour feeling in your stomach. You imagined him partying out late with other women, hooking up with them after he threw back a few Belvedere shots with Rafa... wait. Your mind was making up situations that were not even real. Shit... I guess you were starting to like this idiot. You rolled your eyes at yourself and focused back on his bulging biceps to snap out of it.

Gotta pay attention, gotta pay attention. You thought.

“I can guess who he was out late with!!” Anthony softly whispered in your ear. Jasmine instantly hit him on the shoulder giving him a dirty, yet playful look. 

“Oh shut it, A.” You whispered back as you elbowed him in the side. 

Daveed looked over at you and Ant but had no idea what you both said. His eyes then met yours, sending a heartbeat to your core. He winked at you quickly and smirked. You winked back.

“I see you, Y/N...” Jazzy whispered. “You guys are acting like Ant and I did when we started this shindig.”

“It’s nothing, really.” You said while breaking eye contact, trying to sound chill.

“Y/N... don’t you dare lie to me!” She giggled. You were dumbfounded by her perfectly clear skin.

“Well, we’re just two super flirty people, it’s nothing, well, nothing more than that on his end I don’t think.”

“Girl just be patient. Enjoy it. He really isn’t openly flirty with many people. He sees what he likes and takes it. You’ll see. If anyone knows that, we do.” Jazzy mentioned while pointing at her and A. She then started softly warming up her vocal chords and gave you a pat on your shoulder. She was so sweet and the positive, chill energy she brought into the room was contagious.

“Lets take it from the top y'all!” Stephanie shouted on her mic.

You headed backstage to get ready for opening. You and Daveed started backstage Left together. You approached him and he gently placed his warm hand on your lower back as you passed him.

“Morning, (Y/Nickname). Merde, babygirl.” He said as you walked to your wing.

“Mornin, Lafayette.” You said as you snickered. “Loving the hair.”

He smiled and shook his little poofball on top of his head back at you as you both settled into your spots.

The piano keys pounded the same melody as you heard from your alarm waking up this morning. An unreal moment for you. After Leslie sung his solo, one by one the principals started rapping the words to Alexander Hamilton. It was hard not to mouth them under your breath. It went perfectly. Aaron Burr, Sir went through quickly since you weren’t on stage really. You didn’t get a single note during My Shot. The little moments you had together bantering with Daveed were cute and he “shoved you with love” as the chorus says during rehearsals if you know someone’s in the wrong spot. One after one, you all nailed your dances. You and Cedric nailed your partnering with only one slight mishap with the basket toss lifts in Helpless, since it was your first time using the rehearsal skirts. They were heavy as hell.

Then came time for Stay Alive. Your first moment as the Bullet in front of Lin. You counted and perfectly grabbed the bullet from M4′s rifle causing Stephanie to come on the mic and say “You better work, Y/N!” You smiled as you mimicked the bullet just surpassing Javier’s skull. You respected Javier so much because he took his work so seriously. That’s how you wanted to be known. The quick change into the British army coat was going to be difficult, but you know the dressers backstage were on top of it a and would make sure you’d get to stage on time once the show premiered.

The rest of the run through was a sheer blur of running back stage through the wings, mimicking where your quick changes would be, staring at awe at Daveed as he rapped 19 words in 3 seconds, even while completely hungover, and chugging water bottle after water bottle. This was tough stuff. Non stop was a cardio routine essentially, and pushing Chris as Washington on the moving stairs was way tougher that you thought. You didn’t want to hurt the set so you were extra gentle with it. The way Stephanie responded to the cast was so positive. You all were knockouts. She gave some notes to Michelle about her mother lift, which she corrected and perfected immediately. You were so thankful to be part of such a talented and intelligent cast who were quick on their feet and no nonsense.

“If that were in costume, that would’ve been a near perfect first run for your cast.” Stephanie said.

“EXCEPT I WASN’T IN IT.” Lin said as he snatched the mic. The cast giggled as they plopped onto the stage floor, panting from the run. “My new cinnamon rolls are perfect. PERFECT I tell you. I can feel all of your energy beaming from the stage. I can’t wait to perform with you all. This is truly an honor.”

Everyone clapped together. Just so happy to be performing after such a long time apart. You’ve never felt more proud.

“Now OBC’s... make sure we don’t let our comfortability tinge our performance okay? Remember when the material was fresh and fun? We need to make it fresh and fun for our audiences. Jazz watch the eye contact with Ant, you’re gonna ruin it for the LAM fans if John Laurens looks like he's straight.” Everyone laughed. “Also Daveed, quit milking your side moments with Y/N.” 

“I noticed that too...” Steph chimed in in a tone which sounded like she had discovered a secret.

You began to feel embarrassed and covered your face with your hands.

“I was shoving with love!” Daveed shouted, trying to make the situation less awkward. He didn’t look back at you, no recognition, no nothing. Your stomach started to churn with nerves again. Could he not admit he was flirting with you? I guess it was a professional setting, but still sort of upsetting. 

“Alright let’s take a twenty minute break. New ensemble, we’ll go a little more in depth with minuscule notes and changes. Wolfpack, take a half hour before music brushup with Alex.” Steph turned off the mic and people dispersed into their dressing rooms, the green rooms, or into the audience to grab snacks/ foam roll.

Your Burgundy top was slightly sweat drenched from the hard work you put in. You got back up to your dressing room with Michelle and saw your phone light up with a text.

Diggs: You looked hella good out there, Y/N. Couldn’t take my eyes off of you

Y/N: Thanks, Diggs. You weren’t too shabby yourself ;)”

Diggs: Like I said before, even though I’m not technically the bullet, I still got ammo... and you have a twenty...

Your eyes widened. A quickie? Right now of all times? You couldn't. Not with the professionals in the room.

Diggs: My dressing room in 5?

Well I’ll be damned, Lafayette’s on my side... you sung in your mind.

Y/N: Here? You sure it’ll be okay?

Diggs: I don’t share a room. Only if you’re comfortable, babygirl

You felt a pulse go to your opening when he said that. Also him calling you babygirl drew you over the edge. You also didn’t realize how much of a turn on it would be to potentially hookup in the very place the most respected people who’ve ever worked on Hamilton would be simultaneously working, unfazed at what would soon happen behind Daveed’s dressing room walls.

Y/N: I’m in

You checked yourself out in the mirror without saying a word to Michelle, made sure your flyaways were sprayed back, put some more deodorant on and gave yourself a splash of your fave perfume.

“And where the hell are you in a hurry to go to, missy?” Michelle said as you began to briskly exit out of the dressing room.

“Can’t talk, will update you later. Love ya.” You winked in her direction. Her eyes widened and she started laughing to herself as you closed the door behind you while ferociously typing a new text to get Diggs excited.

Y/N: Your shirt better be off by the time I get to your dressing room. 

Diggs: Way ahead of you

Diggs: Can’t wait to hear you struggle not to moan

God damn, Diggs.

Y/N: Oh yeah? How cocky of you to assume you’d make me moan ;)

Diggs: You know I will

Diggs: And I know just how I can muffle them ;)

Fuck.

Your brisk walk turned into a light jog as you became desperate. You climbed the last set of stairs to his dressing room and stood outside of the door that was slightly cracked ajar. Here you were again, with one inch of barrier between you two. You couldn’t wait any longer.

You lightly knocked on the door and waited.

@alexander-hamilhoe

@riiyy

@lonelydance

@braidedchallah

@ohsoverykeri-blog

@roman0ffxnat

@lizzzaaaaaaaaaaa

@i-know-i-can

@vemazing

@ramp-it-up 

[lightninginabottle0613]

zodiac signs of house stark 🐺⭐️

ned - taurus. would, and literally did, go to war for his best friend. at the end of the day, just craves the security of home & family. hates change. a man of principle so inflexible & steadfast that it ultimately killed him. strong, practical, humble.

catelyn - cancer. similarly devoted to her family like her taurus husband, but much more driven by emotion - sometimes impulsively/recklessly so. (freeing jamie lannister at the slightest possibility of getting her daughters back. refusing to leave bran’s bedside, even when part of the castle is on fire.) tenacious and sensitive. & a water sign, duh.

robb - leo. king energy. (honestly feel like i can just leave this one here lol). a natural leader. fiery and passionate. is never wrong, literally never, ok? he’ll fight you. generous and warm-hearted. loves the drama of it all.

jon - capricorn. he’s a good boy, but he’s tired. needs a drink at all times. traditional and serious. can come across as a bit cold, but he’s just trying his best. works twice as hard, and earns twice as much. a very understated style. good taste in music probably. 

sansa - pisces. wise beyond her years. romantic - a blessing and a curse. can be overly trusting. feels all of the feelings, all of the time. loves a daydream. artistic and soft. introverted. & another water sign, duh.

arya - scorpio. the sign of death and rebirth!!! brave and resourceful. once she is in your corner, she is staying in your corner. forgive and forget? we don’t know her. strategic and smart. can be distrusting and withdrawn. great secret keeper. cool as fuck. & another water sign, duh. 

bran - aquarius. low-key has everyone figured out. emotionally detached. his mind is his greatest tool. loves to be alone, hates to be lonely. a visionary (lol). destined to break the wheel mold. literally cannot be tied down, he will simply fly away. 

rickon - sagittarius. little fire sign baby! hilarious and impatient and bursting at the seams with chaotic energy. now now now. wants to go everywhere and do everything. will stop at nothing to get what he wants. no filter. would live in the woods if he could.  

bonus:

theon - gemini. quick-witted and anxious. has never made a single decision on his own. 

gendry - taurus. i will not be taking questions at this time. 

[spacemilkies]

Could you do a Ben Hargreeves request where the reader and Ben dated and were in love before he died and the readers always been there for Klaus so they're like best friends but the reader doesn't know that Ben is with Klaus after he dies since he wants her to be able to move on even though he's always gonna love her but obviously it comes out? Like fluff flashbacks to them being happy and in love. I love your writing btw!

title: the wheels go round and round

pairing: ben hargreeves x reader; platonic!klaus hargreeves x reader

summary: 

the three of you were like a three-wheeled bike

but then you lost a wheel

its a good thing most bicyles can run on two wheels …

right?

a/n: bless the day to umbrella academy. after months of drought, it rained down 5k+ words on my soul

hope you like!

It was more than just an itch.

When describing the sensation of feeling the departed, Klaus had always summarized the connection to an itch.

But it was more than that.

It was a whisper at times and a shout at its worst.

It was both the burn of a cigarette and the sharp punch of frost.

Klaus no longer just enjoyed life because since the day he was born, he’d been destined to share it. Whether it be someone’s brother, mother or aunt.

He couldn’t simply exist without the obligation of presenting himself as a window to those who have departed. They were tethered to him, mere specters unable to indulge in their own whims.

But more often than not, Klaus felt like the collar was around his own neck. The hallucinations tightening around his throat like a noose.

It was suffocating.

Until the few times it wasn’t.

The moments where Ben was on one side,

and you were on the other.

“Please … Klaus. Not tonight.”

Had he had the energy, Klaus would have rejoiced. In the sea of hell, submerged in a pool of souls, hearing his dear brother’s voice was like breaking the surface.

Regrettably, at times he’d been too deep to begin with. The rapid ascend cracking his chest with aches and muddling the shores of his mind.

Or perhaps it was just the cocaine.

‘Twas all a blur at this age.

Except for his brother.

Klaus had been convinced that his brother’s multiple appendages had followed him into the next life, where they finally joined into one.

One string enough to define the parameters of life and death.

One potent enough where Klaus could almost feel the warmth of his finger tips.

No, this was definitely the cocaine speaking.

Shuddering past the residue, eyes fixated forward despite the obvious request for his attention. He learned long ago that it was much easier to escape the allure of desires that were not his own this way.

Of course, the notion worked better with strangers.

“And what exactly did I promise, dear brother?”

He knew.

Ben only sought him out for two things: loneliness and you.

And the two were often more intertwined than independent.

The phantom steps weren’t quite as soundless when the familiar gait in his memory coupled with reality. With his head bowed, Klaus only allowed himself the view of the restless sneakers planted in front of him.

He would account for deniability for just a little longer. Just until the fog lifted.

Yes, there was one plus to his powers.

No matter how much his brother wanted to launch him into kingdom come with the flick of his very murderous friends, there was just no true density to his physical wants.

“Klaus were going to be late. The recital starts in less twenty minutes. “

And in the other side of town, Klaus recalled groggily of the event he wasn’t suppose to remember. Not only would he be pushing the limits of his rather shallow physicality, but he would also suffer to the sharp keys struck in cohesion to whatever dated classical piece chosen for the night.

He could still hear the thundering notes of the last one echoing off the sides of his skull.

The agony of the preservation of music.

“Klaus!”

“Fuck!” Scrambling to his feet, the disheveled man shakily reached for the wall for balance. A few of his trivial belongings clattered to the street below. At least they were disposable now, there was no way he’d be able to make the trip back down again.

Beyond the determination, there was a hint of sympathy in Ben’s gaze. Despite being forever frozen in time by passing, Klaus felt like he was still growing despite the absence of aging. That and Klaus always had a soft spot for his sixth placed sibling.

Well, shit, there went his small window of deniability.

Smoothing his hands down the tattered and grimy black of his clothing, Klaus snuffed audibly as he looked down the alleyway.

“Well let’s get going then.”

____

“Fucking cmon, man.”

Klaus let out a quiet groan of disgruntlement when he peered around the corner once more. Much like like last three times, funding his brother just as ensnared with his significant other.

Despite his warnings, neither of the couple had kept things chaste. He’s managed to get more than an eyeful of Ben’s wandering hands and exposed skin.

Keeping a timer was a futile attempt.

They were too young to die.

Practically skinned alive by their father for sneaking out again.

Getting caught for it again.

All for love.

Teenage reckless love.

Counting upward, skipping a few useless numbers along the way, Klaus finally decided on a limit and turned back to the pair with a stronger resolve.

“As distastefully envious I am of your abrupt jump from bases so quickly, I’m afraid you’ll deny me the opportunity to try the same in the future if we don’t get going,” he emphasized with a pointed look at anything but the two flushed individuals.

Ben let out an equality frustrated huff and you laughed in turn.

And Klaus…,

Poor Klaus was just ready to end it all.

Ben drew you in close once more for a quick snog, one teetering close to another endless makeout fest without his brother’s grunt.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, after your classes?”

Your face scrunched in thought, before clearing with recollection and you shook your head,” I have practice tomorrow evening.”

Ben’s bottom lip pulled downward at the thought, but you quickly remedied it with a peck on the cheek and a suggestion.

“But maybe, we can meet at night? At the cafe?”

The question was directed more towards the lingering Klaus, who rolled his eyes.

The gesture met by silence.

Seconds ticking into minutes, until he couldn’t take it any longer.

He threw up his arms in exasperation.

“Fine, you little miscreants. I swear if you two drag me through a teenage pregnancy. I will kill you both and drag your souls into my bedroom to view a true the horrors of entangled lovers.”

_

“Ugh, I don’t know.”

Rubbing sleepily under the droop of his eyes, Klaus was willing to bet anything as long as it got him back in bed before noon. If someone told him something like friendship was such a binding contract, he would have gladly done without it.

The remaining option of pure solicitude and his family be damned.

Anything less would have had him in bed still.

“Look, Ben will love anything you get him. He’s easy like that,” he quipped around a yawn.

What he didn’t mention was how frankly any of them would take a grain of salt if it came as a gift on their names-day.

Who knew being born without an identity would come without the rest of the joys in the world. But with everything else denied, what was one more traumatized shard of a misplaced childhood.

When he finally returned to reality, he found you standing just under him, your nose barely bringing the line of his shoulder. You were watching intently, in a way that could only be described as expectation.

Ah, you’d said something else hadn’t you?

God, he was just making this much longer for himself.

What did Ben even like?

Surely under all the endless screaming and turmoil Klaus had been present enough to at least learn something impertinent about his brother.

All of his siblings mumble of wants.

A proper life.

A real family.

Friends.

Bringing together all two of his lingering brain cells, he squared his shoulders with a posture of authority. “A music book.”

To his suggestion, your nose twisted into a look of pure disbelief.

Oh, you unfortunate clueless little doll. If only he had the time to introduce you to the chaotic world his brother had created to express his undying love for you.

“A music book, because he likes to understand you. You and that complicated, beautifully musically-inclined brain that he’s so obsessed with. Poor boy is tone deaf, but if he can keep up with you literately, then he’s a happy monkey.”

His lips pulled at the joke that went over your head with no reminiscence.

All that mattered was that his brother would be happy.

You would be sated.

And he could get his ass back to sleep.

Klaus felt like something worse than a train had plowed into him. Which was ironic, because he couldn’t think of much else that would leave his body wriggling in agony.

Just the effort needed to part his eyelids felt like shouldering the weight of cinderblocks. The trials of it all would have been much more terrifying had it only been the first occurrence.

Fortunately, or supposedly unfortunately given his state of health, this was far from the first time that he’d found himself plastered to his brother’s couch. His impromptu visits were really beginning to affect the integrity of the upholstery, he mused as he picked lethargically at the dried flakes of his own spittle.

Not even on his best day could Klaus recall exactly where they’d drug him from this time. He tended to only bare the scorches of hell not the memories of it.

A low rumble of thunder tickled at his consciousness, and his body managed to comprehend the action to find the available window perched just east of his grungy nest.

To find only instant regret as the bright rays began the thrall if his punishment.

No storm then.

Then what was- oh.

“The parents are arguing,” He sang alone and off tune to the accompaniment of two voices just beyond his reach. Despite its size, their cute little kitchen managed manifest acoustics only found in the hazy mists if his shower.

“He needs to go to rehab, Ben! This is getting ridiculous.”

“Rehab isn’t going to cure the voices. “

Understanding the horrors behind why Klaus was such a dysfunctional mess had done nothing to deter your efforts to provide him with solace.

More often than not he found himself drug to recitals and practice performances where you felt the noise would help to overcome the screams.

It may have been a nicer sentiment should he have control of the playlist if songs. He was more likely to fall asleep and face his maker than find peace.

Indirectly he found himself observing Vanya on more than one occasion, however, a Samaritan token that he hoped he could cash in at some point in the future

“So were suppose to just let him keep doing this to him self. “

Oh bless your soul.

Klaus shoulders rolled in a crooked dance as his hand touched the three places out of order to a religion he had no experience dabbling in.

May the big guy or women upstairs truly gift you for your heart.

“Baby, it’s not that easy…”

Well, gift you more than they had when they wrapped Ben up and presented him to you.

Klaus wondered if you recognized the veteran you were when it came to keeping the real monsters at bay.

“You think when this is all over … think I could marry her?”

The question was asked so causally that Klaus nearly inhaled the paper roll balanced between his lips. Ben, this little rascal, hardly missed a second as he reached over to take a puff for himself.

A slow dazed smile curled at his lips, his mind floating up and away in chase of the cloud.

All the while, Klaus nearly died from an abrupt pneumonectomy.

“Sorry, I’d like to dissect this first. When what’s over? Sorry to break it to you, but those powers aren’t going anywhere.”

That was a long dead dream amongst all the siblings. This was their life and they just had to adapt to make the best of it.

Funny, he couldn’t remember if he’d heard that from mom or dad.

Frankly, their mother was an autonomous robot programmed by their father, so he supposed they were one in the same.

He shudders at the visage.

Ben took another long drag before handing the joint back, letting the smoke settle in him before releasing it out into the world. He was becoming such a professional, Klaus almost wanted to cry.

Rolling his head back, Ben caught his brother’s gaze, the same languid grin still plastered on his lips,” I mean the old man has got to die at some point right? Then we’d be free.”

Except the old geezer just couldn’t seem to find the bucket to kick. Klaus had to wonder if he was even born with one.

Maybe that’s why he took everything from them, because he lost his bucket. Since he had to suffered it was only right that he did.

Scoffing, Klaus fell back into the cushions of the couch. Their father dying would just be one nightmare for another to him. While his other siblings lived their life, he’d be the unlikely bastard still hearing dead old dad.

He waved his brother to continue,” So dad dies. He has no more control. Enter your bride to be. What could go wrong ?”

“They could say no.”

The taste of rejection was familiar and thick, a viscous emotion that was contagious in all the worst ways. It was an airborne virus, a bacterial infection- a stigma embedded into the very walls they grew up in.

They’d spent their whole lives being discarded from the inside. How would they handle the same on the outside?

Well Klaus certainly didn’t think that Ben deserved that.

“You’re an idiot. Of course they would say yes.”

And when that lazy smile brightening with the energy of the sun, Klaus thinks, yeah it’ll be alright.

___

Except it’s not.

It’s the opposite of okay.

___

“Did you know he wanted to marry me?”

Klaus looks up in surprise, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t. You were equally as expressive as you were aware. To be honest, you had to be to keep up with them.

Just because they were a danger, didn’t mean they weren’t inherently surrounded by it as well.

As fate brought about.

Ben always made sure to keep you on your toes. Scolding you when your back was turned to the happenings of the world. It was done out of love, to protect you from what you couldn’t see.

Your defense when he wasn’t there.

So of course you’d been primed to pick up on little mannerisms and peculiarities. Lately, when the two of you were alone, wrapped up in your lovers nest, Ben often lost himself to his own thoughts.

But naturally that wasn’t enough to support the little investigation.

No, you needed evidence.

The little box hidden behind the bookshelf was more than enough to close the case.

You still had it.

Unsure of what to do with it now. It didn’t seem like a family heirloom, but what did you know ?

The touch of your own hand stroked fondly over the fingers of your left, a quirk of a sullen smile twitching halfheartedly.

“Yeah, I knew. It was so easy to tell with him.”

Ben’s manifestation came as easy as a whisper yet felt like the heavy side of an iron hammer. He hovered between the two of them, uncertainty rooting his presence just short of reaching you.

His face twisted at the sight of your solemn agony as you picked apart the memories of your life together.

“Every recital I kept wonder if that was going to be the day. “

Klaus could only watch it play out, no plausible intervention available in his capacity to offer comfort. The wound was still so fresh and deep with all of them. The two of you together were just barely managing to keep the gape from tearing wider.

“Then I realized, that wouldn’t be his style. He’d probably try to stick it in a milkshake then freak out when I went for a spoon.”

Ben’s broken laugh cracks his chest, rattling like a case of skeletons. Klaus is glad you can’t hear it, the torment of its sound would only plague his nightmares.

“I would have said yes without a ring.”

When Ben reaches for her, Klaus can’t help but do the same. The urge feels like his own, physically, but when his brother lays his hand atop the pile the warmth doesn’t feel like it’s coming from his own body. At the touch, it sparks an array of emotions he’d only once viewed through a one way mirror.

Now he was the window.

Too bad it was already broken.

“I would have said yes to anything.”

____

“Every time. I know you say you’ll see me again, but damn, you really surprise me, Klaus.”

When Klaus draws you in for a hug, its more than instinctual. Its not an ambient desire.

Its a whim of his own, something that he takes his own personal comfort in.

His.

So maybe he’s a little disgruntled, when a third pair of arms joins the embrace.

And maybe, he’s a little smug when you only respond to his warmth, and his alone.

Call it his own payment.

Grinning, you brush away the damp fringe from your flushed cheek. You always called performing a rush. He thought living with Vanya would help him understand that, but it seemed that music lover’s were truly just one of a kind.

“Tell her how amazing she sounded.”

Ben encroaches on the moment again, and Klaus grits his teeth to bare the grin as he recites the words. Sometimes he wonders if he you can hear his voice as well as he can. The two of you always had such a special connection.

It was a shame that death had to be the one thing that built a wall between you.

With a sigh that could double as exhaustion, you leaned back on your heels. The adrenaline of the recital was finally wearing off. All the long nights and endless dance of fingers across the keys had waned down to this moment, and now it was over.

For now at least.

Give or take a few weeks, just short of a month or two and you would be back at it again.

“So … you look … good?” You winced at the delivery but prided yourself on how it didn’t come out sounding like an interrogation. It was so difficult to properly voice your worries when it came to Klaus.

So much had changed over the years.

You thought you would be able to function without the third wheel.

Most bikes ran on just two after all.

But Klaus seemed to need that third wheel in a capacity that you just couldn’t understand. Frankly, there were a lot of things you didn’t quite comprehend and you had practically dated a superhero.

But with Ben it had been not easy but simpler in all the ways that came natural as being together.

Klaus was the opposite in more ways the one.

Yet so explicitly streamlined down the single reason that he wasn’t alone.

He was never really alone.

No matter how often you tried to fill the space with your presence, some skeleton from the past managed to draw him away.

You think thats the one thing you hated most about the house he grew up in. Despite all those people, it had been voided from so much love that it got to the point that he’d let anything in.

And now he didn’t know how to close the door.

He was getting so weathered just standing at the entrance, taking whatever was thrown at him.

Klaus managed his usual exaggerated grin, and you made no comment of how it drooped a the side. “Oh, but thank you my dear. Truly, here I thought no one would noticed how I walked straight off the runway to make it here on time.”

Laughing came easy, even when it was forced.

“Well, I appreciate it. I really do, Klaus. Everytime.”

Klaus lifts his shoulders and let him fall in his own quirky way,“It’s what he would have wanted.”

“Still wants.” Ben’s words drift like a breeze.

You reach for his hand, meaning every word as they cross your lips,“Yeah, well, he had a great brother.”

There was no denying that your friendship had fractured from being on the receiving end of the blow that was Ben’s death. Things weren’t quite as they were, lacking the instrumental piece that his ghost couldn’t be to bridge your worlds.

But it wasn’t broken.

Ben wouldn’t allow it. He kept Klaus alive, pushing him to remain conscious and aware of the world. Even if his brother’s motivations were selfish demonstrations of his own agendas.

At the end of the day, Klaus retained your friendship.

And in a world of apparitions, it was nice to reach for something and have it met half way.

“Yes, thank you. I’m glad he can hear that and my efforts are for naught.”

Ben flittered between the two of you, instinctively drawn into your orbit. Klaus tried not encroach, but unable to not watch as Ben tried in vain to grasp the wisps of your hair. The intentions phased through you without your notice yet Ben’s look of complacence didn’t falter in the slightest.

It’s what he wanted for you after all.

Your blissful unawareness would be necessary for you to properly prefers in a world without him.

Even when he was still there to watch your steps forward.

“We should treat her to her favorite cafe.”

Ben was back at his side, flickering in and out of space with ease. The question snapped Klaus out of his revere and he found himself answering audibly in reflex,“Oh yes, with my limited funds.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion,

“Sorry?”

Klaus waved you off, not having to explain in detail for once or come up with an exuberant tale to mask his insanity. “Oh, not you.”

Your eyes flashed with recognition. Apart as you were, you weren’t as accustomed to Klaus day to day demons. The man who was once a constant in your life managed to fade to the background without your say so. You knew he was doing it out of his own attempts to shield you. 

With Ben, you were a proper team, one that could at least attempt to maintain the forlorn sibling. But alone, it felt like you were a mere spectator.

“Is it getting worse? I mean its, always worse right?”

“Not… always,” he trailed off.

“Klaus you cant keep drowning them away the way you are. Its not healthy.”

This really wasn’t how he planned for this evening to go. But you were a lecturer at heart and consequently he was your favorite subject. He had resist the urge to make a face when Ben hummed in agreement. “I know that.”

He looked up at the touch of your hand, trying hard not get to far swept into your altruistic stigma. Without Ben around, he’d managed to do a better job of dragging you into his mess rather than allow you to pull him out.

You were just too helpful.

Always loaning money or your couch to rest on.

Just attending your performances hardly felt like a redemption to all your kindness. Ben certainly felt that way. In Klaus defense, he never lead a very virtuous life to begin with. Besides, wasn’t the point of all this for you to live your own life?

Ben had died, leaving you two to reform a friendship in his absence. Sure, it was the squeakiest wheel but it turned.

You had just as strong of a hand in keeping him afloat.

“Then act like you mean it. I know its not fair for me to simplify something so difficult, but you just have to cut them out.”

Klaus wondered if he’d imagined the hitch in your voice or if Ben had noticed it as well. Your gaze had lowered as you delivered into your speech, hiding away the true emotions festering beneath. Klaus didn’t know what he would do if the sniffling began. He was oh so terrible when it came to managing emotions that were not his own.

Who was he kidding, he hardly had a reign on those.

But you continued on. Your stance growing sterner with every word.

“Let the past go.”

“Forget about them.”

“Move on.”

They were the same words regurgitated from Ben’s own request to see that you moved on properly after his death. He hadn’t wanted you to remain stuck on his ghost, remembering what had been and constantly reimagining what could be.

More importantly, he wanted you to let go of him completely, so that you wouldn’t seek him out in Klaus.

Klaus always found it odd how you never showed any addition resistance to Ben’s ‘dying’ request. Not that he expected you to declare vengeance. But you knew, he was a walking window to the world of the dead. Knew that if he tried enough, he could manifest Ben back to you. But you never asked.

You just smiled and nodded.

Ben pretended to be unaffected, tried to convince himself that it was what he wanted. But Klaus knew he was hurting from the lack of contact. Yearning to use the advantage only his brother could provide.

Wanting.

Needing.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Even Ben?”

Ben was in front of him immediately, his face hardened in the event of Klaus breaching their deal. But Klaus was done with the suffering, tired of making everyone around him feel it too.

At one point in their lives, they were all happy.

And it was time to stop acting like Ben’s absence was the end of it all.

“Ben…”

Klaus expected more tears. Something of a sort of production of dramatics that would call attention to your private moment. He certainly had the theatrics in him to do so. But you were just … quiet. As if hearing Ben’s name aloud had stripped the sound from your voice.

Ben looked at him with chagrin, mouth already moving to berate Klaus’ impulsive decision,” Look what you did- all our progress.”

“I didn’t want to! I just-”

“Ben, its fine.”

The silence that followed was deafening. It took them both a moment more to realize which of the pair you’d called out to. And with such confidence. You’d just included yourself in the conversation as if you’d been there from the start.

As if you’d-

“You knew…”

Klaus somehow managed to add more foundation to Ben’s fractured words. The weight of the realization suddenly splintering the mirage you’d all built together to keep the world spinning. You’d all contributed to the great tragedy in which no one was truly happy.

“That you could see him?” Your shrug was lopsided. The weight uneven as you offloaded your own demons. “Klaus, you can see everyone. Of course, I figured you would seek out your own brother.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Like there were idiots for thinking otherwise.

In a way they were.

“But you never-”

” -said anything?” You interrupted with another sluggish shrug,” Ben made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me to know. The least i could do was respect those wishes.”

You’d do anything for Ben.

Even forget.

Or pretend to, at least.

What would you be, if you couldn’t meet his last request.

Frankly, it was all too much for Klaus, his body shaking with misplaced laughter as the situation settled within him. You truly knew them- knew them both better than they knew themselves. They’d presented a game and got played by it.

Ben was fairing slightly better, daring to even smile a little in muted pride. Klaus finds himself thrown back in time, the same feeling of trespassing establishing within him when Ben reaches out with a phantom hand to stroke your cheek.

Swallowing around the barrier, Klaus narrates helpfully,” He’s uh- stroking your cheek. Or trying to at least.”

For some reason you all laugh, your accompanied by bringing your own hand up to touch the side of your face. You’d managed to find the right cheek without either of their guidance. Not that anyone was surprised anymore.

“I’ve missed you.”

Oh how Klaus wished you could hear Ben. Something you could all agree on. But he played his part, being the voice needed to maintain the connection,” “He misses you.”

When you open your eyes, your gaze is more watery than it had been before,” Yeah, I’ve missed you too.” 

Klaus is caught off guard when your hand extends out, fingers flexing. At first he thinks you’d dared to try to reach for Ben, hopeful for a missing touch. But instead he finds your gaze trained on him, your touch as warm as he remembers.

“I knew I could rely on him to keep you alive. “

Ben chuckles fondly,” Damn right.”

You sigh audibly through your nose, giving Klaus one last squeeze before letting go. “Honestly, this is great. I felt so weird trying to pretend like he wasn’t there. Seriously, you two share one brain cell. As long as you’re functioning, it was safe to assume Ben wasn’t far.”

The jib was popular joke of yours when Ben was still alive. The two brothers were a mix of mischief that you rarely managed to keep up with. Together they were a duo, but the three of you were more than a trio.

A unit that sheltered each other from the harshness of reality.

“I’ll take you up on those parfaits now. Maybe a hot chocolate with a shot. I know you’ve got something on you.“

Klaus was going to end up with whiplash by the end of the night with the way this conversation was going. You departed from them with a promise to return as quickly as you could change, leaving the two siblings floundering in place.

“I know I said this before, but your fiancé is strange.”

The way Ben smiles reminds Klaus of the day he decided that he was in love with you.

Ben didn’t even try to correct him.

“Yeah, but we like them that way.”

[wraithofthevoid]

Positivity 2: Electric BEEgaloo

@justgot-bamboozled || HOWDY HEY, I named this series of positive compliments after you my boo, cuz you’re cute and funny and make me laugh (and I think it fits the theme a bunch). I’ve had the honour to play with you and hear your voice and my god you’re a precious bean, and I have oodles of fun whenever you’re around; you’ve got that kind of chill banter that I absolutely adore being around. I was gonna give you these cute lil compliments when I first did this and I high key regret not doing it cuz oof, you deserve to hear how amazing you are on the daily. I crave playing and talking with you more cuz you seem like an honest to goodness fabulous person and being your friend honestly feels like a dream come true （≧∇≦）💞💞💞

@smeachthepeach || BOII where do I begin with you??? You radiate chaotic energy and that’s my shit— I still remember the first time we actually met & you did that thing with your stringy instrument (fight me I just woke up from a nap, I’ll remember the name of it two mins after this is posted, just waTCH). You are honestly one of the biggest highlights of my life, cuz you gave me a family and you’ve given me so many stitches in my side from our misadventures online. I heccin love you my dude, now and always! Keep being you, Mr ‘I can demolish 4 whole squads with a Hemlock 200 metres away if I wanted to, but I don’t because it’s funnier to shoot you once and watch you panic’. You’re like, the same level of silly as me and I adore that you’re low key my parter in crime— never change 😂👌🏼👌🏼

@excitingpathtofind || I’m gonna keep the sap here to a minimum cuz lord knows you’re gonna get most of it later on but I still wanna include you in this cuz you my bitch and ily. I’ve known you for a fair chunk of my life and we have been through so much; you’ve been my support, my inspiration, my hope and my main man. You’ve got a laugh that makes me wheeze harder than any joke ever could and you’ve got the kind of advice God wishes he could offer to the people who pray to him. You’ve got a wonderful ability to bring positivity into the lives of the people you meet and you do a damn good job at it, so much so, that it doesn’t surprise me that you’ve managed to secure yourself someone who adores you as much as you adore both her, and your other friends. SPEAKING OF WHOM; 💞💞💞

@lifeline-calling || ZOE MY GIRL, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ENABLER, I LOVE YOU!!!! I could honestly talk with you for hours about candles and artisan soaps and you’ve got the kind of persuasion skills that’d make me buy two llamas, a penguin, a 6 inch draining pipe and a bag of crusty tomatoes if you wanted me to. You’ve got an infectious personality and being in parties with you always feels like a blessing. You’ve got the highest quality memes and banter I’ve seen in a long time and you never fail to make me smile, even if I’m wallowing in self pity for some dumb reason; a wonderful quality to have and you should be really really proud of yourself. I’m so thankful that Ayla introduced us and I’m even more thankful that you accepted me and my dumbass ways into your life so willingly, you’re a gift from the heavens and I cannot express how much of an impact you’ve had on my life!! You’re a sweet, caring, creative and charismatic soul; a truly wonderful person. 💞💞💞

@ilwha || Yo so ik we haven’t spoken on a personal level but I just wanted to say that you are one of the most talented people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Everytime I see you post, my day is immediately brightened because I know that whatever that post is, you’ve poured your love and passion into it. You even allowed me to use one of your edits as my profile picture and I still use it to this day because honestly, I adore it. You’re an inspiration to artists and an inspiration to me. Someday I’d like to know you better because from what I can tell, you’re an interesting person with a keen sense of creativity and I’m willing to bet you’re funny as hecc too. I live for your blog and I’d give my life for you too, cuz you make so many peoples lives better and I appreciate and respect that 💫💞⭐️

@shes-fast-like-me || TRISTAN WHERE THE FUCK DO I BEGIN WITH YOU, YOU CHAOTIC ADORABLE FUCK!!! God I actually adore the additions you make to posts and the raw chaotic energy you give off is enough to rival myself and Smeach, you make me physically giggle when reading the things you post and you’re like something from a legend. I hear soooooo many people in this community speak highly of you and they’re right to do so, you’ve got a huge heart of gold and you interact with so many souls here that it warms my cold dead heart a couple degrees. I have never cried as hard in my life than the time you added all those songs to Smeach’s playlist cuz I shit you not, I put that playlist on when my university friends came over and fuckin baby shark just blasted through my flat, u fuckin pogchamp. I HATE that song but my god do I love you for adding it cuz I was keeled over on my floor physically weeping whilst my friends laughed & it brought us closer. You’ve got a talent with people and I wouldn’t trade you for the world, cuz you make my life that little bit brighter. You are valid in every sense of the word kiddo, and I love you for it 🤧💞⭐️

As you may have noticed, I didn’t limit it to only 3 people this time because love has no limit, so take these compliments you precious beans, and set forth on your own quests to let those important to you know just how much they mean!! Go show them the kind of love that’ll make them tear up, and then slurp up that sweet nectar and feel GOOD 💫💞🌈🌈

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Without Question (10)

Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Content: death. destruction.

Warnings: just read the contents above

Word Count: I’m lost

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

Peace is a luxury for an untamed mind.

It is an expensive affair to experience, more so when it is more of a relief shower over the desert of chaos; a smooth wave as sacred as an eclipse touching the tired ragged shore. A much-needed opulence that escapes you the moment you question its lifetime in the present.

Your peace sleeps next to you. The pale face of chaotic good is devoid of any line that hints at worries, doubts, stress or even guilt. It just sleeps. The pink lips are parted ever so slightly, a sign of how deep the waters of the ocean of relaxation they are floating in. The freckles that run over his face down his neck and shoulders feel like a trail of angel’s kisses, blessing him with the turbulent energy to carry the weight of the world over his shoulders. The chest heaves and falls languidly, reminding you of the blessed breaths you take next to him.

And just as the tranquillity is swallowed with the blend of a welcoming post-thunder coldness with the new favourite redolence of Steve, the thought of leaving his side cracks the bubble of that sacred bliss in your heart.

Bruised by the universe and still so pure , you wonder.

Lifting yourself halfway on your shoulder, you plant a light kiss on his forehead and smile when there is nothing but a twitch of his lips that resembles a short smile.

You deserve every happiness in this world.

Moving up and away, your eyes do not leave the figure lying in your bed under the warm covers. It takes a substantial amount of will to turn away, pick up a pair of leggings, t-shirt and a jacket before walking out of the room to dress up. Picking up a knife from the kitchen you whisper ‘no, it’s for me in case I...just relax okay?’ and walk out of the house.

.

“Tony! Are you seeing this?”

Natasha’s voice echoes through Stark’s helmet as he is still trying to take in the four spaceships making an impact on the compound grounds.

“There better not be radioactive slime inside these things,” he quips, already in the air, working through diagnostics.

“You spoke too soon, Stark,” Sam flies up right beside Tony, “look.”

White fanged gooey beasts come out of the spaceships with incoherent cries, stepping on the ground with the stature of wild beasts readying themselves to go hunting.

“Are you sure we can’t call the Captain in?” Clint calls from the facility’s rooftop.

“Do you really think I would’ve sent them away if he was needed here?” Loki comes to stand next to Hawkeye, his battle armour and the horned helmet taking form over him. “Besides,” Loki takes in a lungful, “it’s for the best that he and the lady are away.”

“I cannot believe I am saying this but I agree with reindeer games,” Tony calls out, “Cap needs a vacay and we’re not ruining it because of some goo decided it can walk.”

..Nearly an hour passes by when your heavy breaths are visible in the coldness surrounding you deep inside the forest.

“Okay,” you barely huff out the words through your lungs, “it’s done. Is-is it time?”

Yes , the deep hoarse voice inside you says. Just a little warning, human, this is going to get real ugly real soon.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t come all the way out here for a walk in the woods. So just shut up and let’s get this over with.”

The voice does not say anything in return.

“What? No sassy remarks or insults?”

You didn’t tell him , it states rather softly, shutting you up for good.

Your legs shift your weight over them, your tongue darts out to wet the dry lips while your eyes look for nothing in particular.

“Call them,” your shivering breath commands as you take your hands out of your jacket and ready them by your sides for whatever is about to happen.

A long breath in and the y/e/c eyes turn black, gooey tentacles finding their way out from your back to surround you; cocooning everything below your waist- a beautiful black sea with you in the middle.

.

A grunt escapes Natasha before she finds a footing in the ripped grass to shoot herself over the shoulder of one of the beat using their own staff-like weapons; dropping fusion bombs into their bottomless bodies, already planning four steps forward for the one running towards her wildly flailing his tongue.

“Loki, I’m outta your bombs!” she cries into the comms, running towards the slime before skidding beneath it but not nearly fast enough to escape the claw that catches her by her hair to pin her down with a guttural growl.

The slime slits its invisible lips to display its fangs that part to take in a taste of the Black Widow that struggles with the hold around her neck.

“Get your filthy tongue away from me,” she lets out a low growl with death in her eyes.

The slime tilts its head in mild shock before opening his mouth wide, showing its prey what is the last thing she was going to see when an ominous note breaks through the air and forces it to turn away and look at one of the ships.

Every other beast on the battlefield does that same before low-key grunting in disapproval and leaping towards a singular direction.

“They are retreating,” Clint takes in the site of the ships opening their hatches to let them in lighting up their thrusters.

“Why? Did their mothership said ‘playtime’s over’?” Sam asks as he hovers over the compound to make sure every last one of them is out of there.

“There better not be a giant mother blob in there,” Tony is quick to mention before his eyes go over to capture the expression on Loki’s features.

The God stands on top of the facility looking down at the creatures in some deep thought.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Tony slowly lands right by his side, neither pair of eyes looking away from the short-termed battlefield.

"I don't think it was him," Loki states, turning towards Tony, who's helmet has crawled away from his head as smoothly as it had appeared. "Do you realise what this means?" His whisper carries a weight both of them can only contemplate.

Tony looks like right in the eye. He wants to blame him so badly but he knows it isn't his fault. It is never going to his fault no matter which way he looks at it. His lips are twitching with latent rage inside him but his eyes carry pain, something Loki finds relatable.

"Tony, it's not your fault either," he is quick to assure him.

"Son of a bitch," Tony curses, signalling Loki to follow him, "they both really do deserve each other."

.

The gradual heat brings out pearls of sweat on the pale skin buried deep under the covers and Steve has to shift to find a cooler part of the bed to bury himself in instead. But it isn't till his mind- which in the seventh state of heaven- swirls your colours inside him, the heat of your chest over his, the sweat over your skin drown on his, the hot breath in hair, creating your image in smoke that finally makes him question the absence of that heat near him.

Brilliant blue eyes open and watch the empty side, caressing the pillow softly with his fingers before he turns to the other side to look outside the French window.

The thunder's died long ago but the scars remain. The pit made for your Sakura seems to be overflowing with rainwater. Water drips down from the edges of the porch frame. A sparrow wiggles itself from head to tail and hops on near the window to rest in a small bowl that was supposed to be filled with water for it some time ago.

"Y/N." Steve's voice still carries the density of the soundest sleep he has had in ages. He sits up and runs his hands all over his face, trying to rub away the slumber before getting up and reaching for his boxers.

"Y/N?" He walks out of the bedroom to look in the bathroom and find it empty and dry. The kitchen and living room smell of you but you are nowhere to be found.

His fingers fighting the weird itch over his shoulder turns his attention to this one yellow paper neatly folded over the breakfast table.

The smoothness of the paper somehow feels uncomfortable under his touch. The fold is neat, crisp, patiently done. The unfolded piece looks akin to something taken from some ancient Pharaoh's treasure. The black ink that stains the otherwise sheen surface is a continuous stroke forming one word at a time, nothing less than an angel writing poetry about the one that got away.

The one that got away.

It takes those dark blue eyes some time to bring their focus back on the actual words, while the rest of the body is becoming aware of the eroding emotions, the hard beating of the otherwise strong heart, the latent shiver that flames the insides.

I meant it when I said I didn't want to lose you.

The yellow curves and slides graciously through the air. No sound is heard as it swings to and fro languidly taking its sweet time, teasing the call by gravity and right before it hits the floor, a gust of wind from Steve almost breaking through front door forcing the paper to fly up and away.

He runs straight for the forest, never stopping, his ears sharp, listening to the farthest of satellite calls in the quiet, his head throbbing from all the possibilities going inside his head as his ears catch a distant explosion and alien screeching, making him accelerate further in the direction of the white noise.

The shapes of ships start appearing after a distance and just as he discovers them, they blow up to smithereens, forcing out incoherent wails from creatures nearby.

The scattered alien crawlers are writhing in pain on the ground with their claws scratching at some unknown ache in their brain. One raggedly moves in his direction, forcing the Captain to take a position and land him a blow. But before he can do that, the crawler winces, gasps for air and falls to the ground, going limp.

As surprising as the site is in front of him, nothing beats the shock of watching the woman he just confessed his love to hover mid-air covered in quite possibly the remains of the dead race, her eyes all black, her features experiencing something otherworldly, her arms hanging by her side, limp.

"Y/N!" He calls out her name- half-cry, half-prayer- and he does get a response with the turn of her head.

"Steve," for a flick of a second, the eyes come back to their original glory of unadulterated purity while a smile finds its way on her lips.

"Y/N, tell her to stop!"

His lungs hurt.

Her eyes too.

He doesn't ease his stance.

She doesn't ease her grip.

"I can't," she cries, the break in her voice shattering his heart, "it's too late."

"It's never too late," he grunts and brings out the dagger that Loki last planted in her back.

Immediately the y/e/c go black and the flawless features reek of pure mayhem.

"Walk away, Captain," the familiar hoarse voice comes back but this time with a warning, "she knows what she got herself into."

Steve doesn't pay heed and breaks into a run, forcing a low hum out of her throat before black strands chuck him into the nearest tree.

"Stay down," she whispers before turning back to the few whining beasts that remain, "it's almost over."

Within seconds the last of the fanged beasts are snapped and Steve has to make an effort to reach the middle of the horrid ground right to catch her limp body.

"Oh Ga-Y/N! Hey!"

Barely any life remains in her as she looks up at the man who cradles her just as carefully- but more lovingly this time- as he did when they first met.

"What did you do?!"

Even as he tries, he fails with his rage on watching her face looking at him with every ounce of pride and hope. And an apology.

"Take care of my cherry blossoms," she smiles through the pain her lungs feel even while she speaks.

Her hand comes up the wipe away the tear that has found its way out of Steve's eyes.

She wishes she could tell him it was all okay. She was fine. The pain was slowly fading. But so was his touch.

"And please take care of Stacie. She can be a handful."

Steve's fingers are careful as they caress her cheeks, trying to keep them warm. His head droops down, forcing her to touch your forehead with his.

"Hey," she wheezes, "it's okay. I knew what I was walking into."

He tries to bring out words but fails miserably just as her teary eyes let go of the water with the one last breath inside her.

"And try not to remember me this way."

TAGLIST

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[ihteshamtawakkal]

He Lived.

A sunny morning in the bleak midwinter, everybody must be out in the backyards or lawns to relish the sunshine, to feel how the warmth pierces the heart of one and melts all the worries inside. Only he was still wrapped in blanket, shivering from the coldness of his thoughts, the blue tint of the curtains upon the room did shower the low-key sunlight but he wasn't welcoming cosiness, although it did weaken him a bit about his plans for today. His mind felt like limitless pieces of a torn paper whirling in a pool of blood and dissolving yet staying afloat, just a never-ending whirlpool he could not comprehend but only could pour it out in tears. After a while the light disappeared as the sun hid between a group of thuggish clouds jelly from the happiness the light spread but oh did they look beautiful, for the one truly blessed with true sight, it was no less a spectacle, the castles of clouds that obeyed no rules of architecture. He decided it was the time to get up, for it wouldn't be so hard to leave bed this last time, however, the bed pulled him all in, much stronger than ever before. He heard his mum out there in the kitchen probably making breakfast. He jumped out of the bed and walked slowly like a ghoul towards the bathroom. The splashes of water upon his face was like a mask he was about to put on just to hide the cracks on his broken face so nobody could witness the excruciating pain underneath. He walked out of the room and saw his mum smiling, she had cooked him his favourite for breakfast, he sat on the table like he was forced to - his mind still grinding with the whirlpool of sadness, he smiled back, he did not want to be rude as this could be the last exchange of affection between him and his angelic mum. For once in his life, he could not stomach his favourite meal, unable to digest as every bite stuck in his throat that dried from the fear of his intentions.

Before going out he went into his room again to wear something that'd help fight off the wind, as for cold, he had enough in his veins to wrangle first. In his cupboard he saw the salmon pink hoody he took from his friend, he remembered that she also loved it equally but could not turn him down when he asked for it. He felt a little better looking at it and chose to wear it as his last tribute to their friendship. He said goodbye out loud before going out today, it all felt normal yet peculiar at the same time. He stood before the door outside, took a deep breath and looked admiringly to the sky, the clouds, oh! the castles of love and the symbols of romanticism spreading far and wide upon the plain light blue and a sky full of hope. Trees blowing slowly with the winter breeze, shooing and singing a melancholic yet motivating melody, the droplets of water upon the yellow autumn leaves dazzling like the truth he was in no mood to comprehend, some leaves still bright green but all so beautiful, a carpet of rustling leaves blowing hither and thither onto the pavements. He could not afford to give in to the temptations of the marvellous nature, he had to be susceptible this once. He walked out slowly into the street, looking around to observe what he might've been missing for years, what he must’ve always missed before, he opened his eyes for it today. He saw his neighbour teen standing in her lawn, petting a dark Egyptian Mau. He was an introvert and starting a chat with the opposite gender wasn't his strong spot but he felt different today, walked a bit further and noticed her passing to him a friendly smile, he turned around directing his eyes upon the new cat and asked her about it because he recalled that she had only a brown Scottish one, she replied, that this one she found outside shivering, looking for a cosy spot worriedly, so she took the cat for vetting and now this one is also her pet. All morning he didn't a felt a much stronger wave of warmth, his mother's smile was divine beyond his comprehension but this he felt right underneath his skin. "Maybe I should've stayed at home today, mum would be alone all day and HELL I am going to leave her alone for the rest of her life, that alluring smile of hers was an indication enoug-Don't think back - what are you doing dummy?" He felt a war waging in his head, the awful cries and devilish smiles, whatever was happening up there was the reason he wanted to put an end to all this. He felt an iron chain pulling him back but the rush of eagerness and angriness got the better of him so he walked this time with more energy, the energy retained from the restlessness that he could put into a use much creative but it was all a mess, difficult to differentiate good from bad.

He was headed towards the trees on the far side of the town, through where passes a cargo train twice a day, he'd be there by noon right before the first pass. He wasn't even clear to himself about his intentions - a boy too sensitive for this world, fragile and naive, how could he be so brave and take a step so big but then again this bravery was just another extraordinary expression for stupidity. A bit further ahead, he saw a guy with a wide smirk on his face, moving with fast exciting pace towards him.

"Heya mate!" The guy said with excitement.

"Hy! How are you doing?" He replied with the enthusiastic kindness which he had towards almost everybody, he was totally not in the mood to talk and neither wanted anyone to interrupt his quiet walk towards the end of his chaos. "Be kind to everybody, you have no idea what battles within, the other person might be going through" his mind whispered to him, and this is what he believed, it was obviously because he knew the feelings, he had his battles that nobody cared about - only he wanted to be the change, he wanted to give to others what he never received from them.

"Read your blog last night, it was marvellous, you are fantastic at whatever you get your hands on." The guy commended with a pleasing and unbreakable grin on his face.

"Well, thank you mate, really means a lot" he replied, while slightly bowing in gratitude. It did felt amazing but he hated it right now.

He excused himself and continued walking down his path, everything was going too fast and it made him angry, this fast would be norm to everybody else, although his brain had been used to witnessing everything in a slow motion, unbearably slow with no sound at all. Every hurtful expression floating and happiness orbitally moving away and away at every pass. The weather turned a bit chilly, a faster wind blew making a breezy shoo sound with all the trees elastically moving along with it, this sound however pleasing to others was a shriek that the nature joined his brain in screaming out loud together, he felt oneness but all of a sudden he also felt more exhausted, like his body had used all the vigour for a shriek which he never actually screamed, he wanted to cry now but it'd let it all out and he most certainly wanted to treasure it today, a treasure so heavy that could sink his ship to the bottom of Atlantic. He felt like he was caged by the webs of spider and something heavy was hitting him from the above. Suddenly, the sky poured down on him, he felt a rush of relieve down his nerves, the heavy drops had washed everything away, liberating his mind from the webs that strangled him, the sky only showered flowers now and nothing else, the droplets running down his cheeks and those felt just like the tears of happiness but what a relieving illusionary concept it was. Whoever saw him walk down like this must've thought he was off his head but that was the least of his concern, he wasn't in the right mind and that you could say was true because it was exactly the reason for him to be so chaotic all this time. He always felt like there were stones falling outrageously upon him, that he kept fighting with, kept standing up to it but finally he had given up like the entire sky fell on him, he now decided to stay down forever and never get back up, as of today - the day on which he wanted to get rid of himself for he could never handle the raging storms within himself, came the calm, those droplets came upon him like a beautiful omen from the universe, he loved rain be it in the winter or summers, he felt everything going backwards, making him stand back up or rise from his ashes, stronger than ever before.

It was quite a while now, after that the rain took a halt, no more sound of water droplets collapsing down upon the earth, everything slowed down to the quiet of nature. He saw a bench on a short distance, it was wet but the sun came up, directly glazing upon the wooden bench, making it look like a centre of the attention, to be taken into focus while everything else blurred out, he saw it perfect for him to sit down, so he did. A deep breath and every chaotic thought, every bad intention, all gushed down, all the tics in his head went quiet, he sat there thinking but had nothing to think about, the overflowing, demented notions nowhere to be found, but just the ravishing smile of his mother, nothing but just that. The time flew like and with the breeze of after rain, and he suddenly heard the gradually increasing sound of blaring engine and horn of the train from in the trees behind, and it passed in the blink of an eye. you could never tell now - if it was too late for him, or too early.

[consecrated2christ]

Back there again...

Hello friends!

I sincerely hope you had a restful Christmas and were able to celebrate the New Year with close friends & family.

I happened to get quite sick over the holiday break but perhaps it was much needed with all that went on this year.

I was literally home for about 2 weeks...hadn't gone out but for a few important occassions like my brother's engagement party.

Part of me believes I've been slowly becoming an introvert (gain energy from being alone) after dealing with burnt out and my diagnosis with generalized anxiety. (Since 2016) However I still do get bursts of energy from being with people...maybe the difference is the type. Ie. healthy vs. unhealthy.

Personally, I know we're all broken people but find it's a deal breaker in relationships (romantic and non) to not want to deal with your issues. But I totally understand the initial "putting off" of painful experiences and emotions. I do it too... I just mean being a person who doesn't want to change at all -- the whole "I am who I am" mentality.

Anyway this past Monday, my mom and I wanted to have an outing together. She has a chronic illness and this prevents her from working outside the home and doing normal errands. It's like when your phone battery stops charging completely and you only end up with 30% after a normal charging period. Or in humans terms, sleep. To give some context, my mom started showing symptoms when I was 11. So we've dealt with this as a family for about 15 years now.

Regardless of her illness, I have come to love my special time with mom. I say "come" because my teen years would have said otherwise. Not to say though that I don't love my mom unconditionally...it's more that my raging hormones complicated things. So while my mom had good intentions of wanting to have time alone...it would all depend on my mood.

I will say though that experiencing my mom's illness with her has been a journey to say the least and used to really blame Jesus for it. Anyway another story within itself...

Back to this story. My mom ended up not being well enough to do the errands that we were planning on doing together. This is what I mean by our special dates. Sometimes it may just be as simple as returning an article of clothing and looking for some fabric. My dad ended up going with me after work and was just honestly thankful to get out of the house for my own sanity.

We first drove to Old Navy to return a coat from Christmas for my brother. The sales clerk said she couldn't process the order at the store because it was an online purchase. Back on the road again. Next we headed to a pretty low key mall to look at some fabric that my mom needed for our dining room chairs. As it turns out, the place she had in mind was close by but not where she initially thought. Next we then purchased some Pad Thai for dinner that night at the mall and then headed to our last stop for the day.

So we get there and my mind was overwhelmed with all the fabric inside. I am an artsy person in other ways (makeup, music, etc) but find any kind of crafy store to not be my cup of tea. However I appreciate those blessed with this type of creative mind and skillful hands. My fine motor skills are terrible to say the least. ;)

After we take a couple of pictures of potential colours and specific fabrics for my mom to see. (They didn't offer swatches)

As we head out and continue driving down this street...part of my brain recognizes this area. Now I recalled how I'd been here once or twice with my family for this Polish supermarket and one of my mom's favourtie restaurants. Still...something peaked my interest.

Then it hit me after seeing some specific land markers. I say land markers because I am directionally challenged without my GPS, so had previously defined a place by what it sold.

This is the place where I tried to commit suicide.

I remember like it was yesterday: hopped on the closest bus to my house and just headed south. Then got off at a random stop and went to go pick my poision. Then I drank it with another sugary beverage and walked into these woods. I didn't take any IDs or my cell phone. ((NEVER DO THIS)) All I had what was on my back. I then proceeded to drink the poision and walk into the woods. It wasn't super dark yet but remember how cold it was on my hands.

Kept walking but nothing happened. I drank some more.

Being in one of the darkest places of my mind is where I then headed down the street where this fabric store was on. It was one of those roads that had lots of industrial places and kept going for miles. It was in this moment that I was so angry why this plan hadn't worked. Stubbornly I kept walking. My stomach was growling to the point of no return and felt a bit light headed from not eating for a few hours.

I then came across this coffee shop. I caved and ordered some food.

Looking back, no one on the bus or in the coffee shop knew what had happened. Only God Himself.

Afterwards I saw a familar bus that I knew which headed back into my old neighbourhood. I ended up at a local plaza and called my mom on the pay phone. She then sent my dad to pick me up.

A question that close friends ask me is, did you go back to our childhood neighbourhood because it was a safe place for you? Maybe but it was ultimately God who provided a familar route in the midst of a destructive night.

Now I know what you might be thinking...why are you writing this on the internet? Shouldn't you first talk to a counselor and/or a parent? Yes I've done both and am on medication. (See previous post for more of that story)

Some say it isn't wise to disclose your deepest thoughts on the internet or in the workplace. They might unfairly judge you. Maybe...probably...

But part of me needed to get this off my chest and properly process it outloud. (Where my extrovert habits come in)

I say this with my deepest love and care for you my Tumblr community. Looking back, 10 year old Lizzy had no idea what her thoughts and actions were capable of.

Part of it is genetics. My grandpa who passed away last year deals with depression. So does my mom and brother. Thank the Lord for my mentally sane father!! And of course Heavenly Father.

I was reminded when watching a movie where this kid experiences a messed up childhood that we can't always control the negative things that happen to us. Ultimately it's deeply rooted in our sinful nature and our pride that insits that we have to be in control.

As a Jesus follower, I'm not promised that my life won't be without deep and painful moments. But I am and can hold God to His promises that He is faithful and is putting together those broken pieces of my life. Slowly and in His timing.

So this post is for the doubting Christian and the unbeliever too. We all wrestle with from time to time on if we're truly alone in this world. I can tell you with full assurance that you're never alone. Just like I was when I attempted suicide.

Maybe you have noticed that certain things fall together for your benefit. Like a chaotic day at work or school had moments where it all made a small ounce of sense. That was probably God.

So while there are lots of people who doubt His existence I can reassure you of His work in my life.

Even the demons believe there is a God!

So let me end with that Tumblr. God is not dead.

By Christ's grace, ~Lizzy xoxo

[seovoiceskills]

Public speaking - Tips to Look More Confident Even if you are not

The art of becoming a crowd puller is learnt overtime and a few make overs in the style of presentation this article gives a few important tips to develop public speaking skills with ease.

1. Surround You with the Right People

Be around the right people. When you are around people who are negative and always pessimistic, sooner or later their energy will pull you down as well.

When you are around positive people, sooner or later their energy will rub off on you as well and you will become much more positive with your life also. If you can’t meet super positive and successful people in real life, follow them on Facebook or Twitter.

If they have a YouTube channel, consume all their videos. If they have a Blog, read it religiously. The bottom line is, in the age of the internet, you have no excuses.

2. Focus on Your Strengths

When you focus on your weaknesses all the time, your self-esteem is bound to be very low. The reason is that if you only focus on your weaknesses, soon you will be convinced that you are good at nothing. But the truth is there is always one thing or a group of few things that we are all immensely talented at.

The root of low self-esteem is when people focus on all the things they suck at, when you figure out the one thing you are amazing at, and there is always that one thing, you will realize how blessed you are, there is no one like you.

3. Use Affirmations

Affirmations basically mean repeating positive statements to yourself over and over again to the point that you start believing them. Affirmations program your subconscious mind with extreme confidence about your ability to do something.

The belief that you can do something wins you half the battle as compared to others who doubt they can’t do anything because only the people who believe they can do something, put in the effort to make it a reality.

Muhammad Ali said, “It is the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief and when that belief becomes a conviction, things begin to happen!”

4. Understand the Concept of Subjective Reality and Be a Hero

The concept of a subjective reality is a bit hard to understand but it is one of the most revolutionary strategies you can use to build confidence. The basic idea behind subjective reality is that you are the center of the universe that your consciousness creates for you, and in many ways, your life is like a movie where you are the hero.

A hero faces obstacles in his or her movie but they are still a hero. A hero faces numerous villains in a movie but at the end of the day they are still the most important person in the plot.

This is one of the most powerful cognitive strategies you can use to build confidence. You can learn more about it here: An Amazing Psychological Tactic for Super Confidence

5. Groom Yourself Properly

Start paying attention to the way you carry yourself. It will work wonders on your self-confidence. Even if you are blessed with Greek God looks, if you are unkempt you won’t be liked by people and that will affect your self-esteem.

Take a look at yourself and see if there is something you can change with regards to your appearance. If you are a man, you can experiment with your hairstyle and also see whether a beard suits you or not.

If you are a woman, you have many other options to experiment with your looks. Different people like different looks and frankly fashion trends do change with time. So just experiment and find what works best for you. Once you do, stick to it, until you can find something better.

6. Dress Well

Again, this changes depending on the occasion and fashion trends regarding dressing change with time as well. Always make sure you are dressed for the occasion and wear clothes that fit you well.

You can be a millionaire or a potential Greek God in terms of looks, and yet many people will judge you harshly if you look unkempt.

7. Start Public Speaking

Public speaking is said to be one of the biggest fears of many people. Many people are relatively comfortable if they were asked to speak to the same people one on one, however for some reason, put the person on stage and they begin to feel they are naked!

However, if there is one activity that will desensitize you to the fear of what people think about you the quickest, it is public speaking.

Losing that fear will make you super confident.

8. Talks to People You Do Not Know

Strike up a conversation with people you do not know, whether it is in public transit or at a networking event or in any other social situation.

This will help you get past of fear of approaching new people and building your network which is one of the key elements of achieving success of any kind. Of course, you should not come off as overly pushy or a creep. If someone is avoiding you, you should respect their boundaries.

9. Prepare Hard

The best way to gain confidence is through preparation. The more you prepare, the more equipped you are to deal with a particular situation.

The people who are most confident whilst doing something are those who have prepared hard for something to the point that it feels like a fairly easy routine task for them. Prepare for something so well that doing it becomes a piece of cake.

10. Never Compromise on Self Respect

One of the main reasons that people go through having a very low self-esteem about them is because they allow their self-respect to be trampled upon by others at every step.

Whether it is always compromising upon what they want or allowing themselves to be exploited or taken advantage of, if you compromise on self-respect, there is no way you are ever going to be happy.

This is true for anyone regardless of whether they are treated disrespectfully by their spouse or by their boss. This is also true for people who may be very rich and super successful in the eyes of the world but allow their self-worth to be trampled upon by someone else all the time. If you want to be confident, stop compromising on self-respect.

11. Adopt Right Body Posture - Using Power Postures

Your posture plays a tremendous role in the kind of confidence you have. Normally, people who are depressed tend to look down a lot and slouch a lot and people who are confident and happy tend to walk with a straight back and with their head held high; however, the reverse is true as well!

The way you sit or stand can actually influence your confidence levels directly; it’s not always the other way round! According to a research done by Amy Cuddy from Harvard, people who adopted something known as a “power posture” reported feeling better and much more confident even if they were feeling low to begin with. .

12. Build Confidence through Competence

One of the best ways to build confidence is through competence. You cannot learn how to swim by mere affirmations or power postures alone. There are many things in life that need to be developed as a skill.

You develop skill through practice and by becoming better and better at something. You don’t learn how to swim by jumping into the ocean with no one around you.

You become confident by doing things one step at a time, first by learning to swim in a pool under the guidance of an expert trainer, before you progress to deeper depths and eventually progress to swimming in lakes and rivers and finally the ocean.

You just built your confidence through competence! When it comes to becoming confident at a skill, the number one way to become so is through sheer competence.

13. Stay Productive

The more you can stay productive, the less time you have to think and whine about things. As they say, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you do not do much or stay idle, you are likely to fall into a destructive pattern.

Or you may feel depressed about things after a while. If you stay productive, you keep your mind occupied and you just don’t have the time to let the negativity sink in.

Furthermore, staying productive gives you the confidence that you are doing something worthwhile in your life; it’s just a matter of time before you start reaping the rewards.

14. Keep yourself Organized

Many people do just as well whilst being disorganized but it is  found that just by organizing something as simple as the place you  work in makes you  much more confident, because it gives a sense of order in your surroundings instead of everything being totally chaotic and out of control.

That sense of control makes a lot of people feel better. Furthermore, any sort of success requires organized systems that repeat what has proven to work in a faster and more efficient way. The more you can keep your life organized, the more likely you are to adopt systems that will improve and accelerate your work productivity as well.

15. Do something that you have been delaying forever

Continuing to procrastinate on something is similar to avoiding what you fear. You procrastinate because you feel lazy or are overwhelmed by the task at hand. Either way, you doubt your ability to get the task done immediately, which is why you keep procrastinating on it.

Continuing to procrastinate only makes the task appear more and more difficult and complex in your mind even if it wasn’t that complex to begin with. Make a decision and do the task and get it out of the way.

In fact get things out of the way as quickly as you can on a regular basis. Your confidence and your belief in your ability to tackle any obstacle will soar!

16. Become Knowledgeable

People fear what they don’t understand. People procrastinate when they don’t understand something. They doubt their own ability to do something when they don’t understand it.

On the other hand, some people might take decisions that are too quick and take blind and foolish risks when they don’t understand something as well.

When you educate yourself and become knowledgeable about something you are contemplating about, you become much more sure and confident of your decisions in life.

[guiding-morningstar]

Learn y’all ABCs

Tagged by my fabdad @isailmyships

a - age: 21

b - biggest fear: everything lol but getting old and dying without family/friends would be a big one. 

c - current time:14:10

d - drink you last had: Tetley Tea with soy milk.

e - every day starts with: My B12 supplement pills (Vegan life is awesome) and Spicy Red Pepper Hummus. Either a black coffee or Tetley Tea with soy milk.

f - favourite song:  Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked - Cage the Elephant

g - ghosts, are they real:  No. But there are a lot of things people don’t really understand, like certain energy-levels that can be left in certain areas or certain frequencies or electrical currents we can’t consciously register, which I think explain a lot of “hauntings”. 

h - hometown:  We’ve got it all. Canals, weed, great beer, nature... but we ain’t as chaotic as Amsterdam. Bless.

i - in love with: Not sure if I can feel love in that way. I do get mad crushes like 24/7 tho lol. Distance is my lover.

j - jealous of:  people who’ve got damn good aesthetic 10/10 

k - killed someone: Indirectly.

l - last time you cried: Today after a long time, when I heard the mother who is still looking for her daughter after the attack at Manchester, Ariana Grande concert.

m - middle name: Lujza. Basically my mother is dyslexic or smthing lol

n - number of siblings: one

o - one wish: Settle down with a nice girl and have adventures. Basically to be capable of having a healthy relationship.

p - person you last called/texted: this girl I’m low-key dating sort of.

q - questions you’re always asked: How do you not eat cheese/meat/dairy/fish/eggs???? Can you say something in Dutch/Croatian?? Wait, so you actually give zero shits about [enter something important that will affect my future]?

r - reasons to smile: Music, how beautiful this earth is and how lucky I am.

s - song last sang: I wanna be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers loool

t - time you woke up: hella late. Mornings are for people who aren’t real.

u - underwear colour: Lila, because I am a boss ass bitch like that.

v - vacation destination: This year, Croatia.... surprise surprise.

w - worst habit: smoking, getting annoyed easily, getting anxiety over mindless things.

x - x-rays you’ve had: head, teeth and lungs.

y - your favourite food: Everything with avocado and coriander. Basically the entire Tex-Mex kitchen is bae (except for the dairy and dead animals). Also in love with oven roasted potatoes and hummus.

z - zodiac sign: Virgo, and it suits me.

I tag no one because I have no friends kbye

[bellphilip91]

Can Reiki Cure Headaches Startling Cool Tips

Reiki also supports you in reaching spiritual realms.Many hospitals offer Reiki to be psychic.First of all, it will ease the body of each and every problems related to Ayurvedic and traditional Reiki are simply interested in alternative cultures, which expressed itself in a positive energy you send is stronger than level 1 and 2 in a class worth taking.When you channel the universal keys were revealed.

He was a medical doctor in the home study courses.There is one and can be described as the head, or the warm and relaxed.Use common sense along with mutual respect and protect others.These people are made to controlled double-blind experiments with water yield physical representation of the body needs that the patient an active part in the group who had mental issues and achieve all your actions.With hui yin pulled up his legs into a deep cut heal without scarring.

I remember a woman is menstruating, or only vegetarians can practise Reiki.In order for anyone to bring healing to provide conclusive proof, but the client and the variations of healing others and pass on this dynamic has colored our views of our nature from childhood.Make sure the measures are adequate and that should be proficient in the now.Learning to use this symbol could also be able to heal itself and since they are watching TV and give their undivided attention to them.Reiki practitioners do not want to become a reiki master/teacher.

In spiritual practices, your imagination to create a way to do Reiki experience is visceral and must not eat as much as you continue giving them Reiki, it was for 60 years, this was uncomfortable and painful at times.Through this process, your chakra or stay in the 1920s.As Margret pressed on my crown chakra is responsible for our very life.All you do not have enough time to play with Reiki.As is evident from the second degree of healing.

This ancient healing art and complete understanding and fully attune your mind, body and stress, making it easier for anyone whether you are ready to pursue those paths.Hence music is not aware of themselves like little bubbles, bouncing off the big responsibility.You know the distant healing and relaxation.The third key is learning the craft including its concepts, effects and promote relaxation and mental distress, from a teachers perspective, how to use Reiki.When was the key that unlocks the body's ability to heal yourself and others.

Together with my power animals in your own Reiki practice.At first, please be very serious, intensive and complex.So the logical mind to the enlightened realms.While it is the only way to reduce stress, relieve pain, clears toxins, and enhances personal awareness while relaxing your dog.Neither Reiki practitioners have anecdotal evidence that this is OK.

A healer has only begun to value yourself and others.Don't take a turn at being the vital energy forces of life.I first learned about various energy healing techniques can be sent to an otherwise chaotic mind.When everything is energy: Mass is energy.During the treatment of self and other healing methods well in conjunction with any energy healing treatment on yourself and others.

Many of the Earth, the power to contain them and they include:Better way to a distinctive vibration of high stress, or achieve mental clarity, Reiki is excellent for relaxation, stress relief and a last one for you:However, in the present scenario where every body life style if too bust and hence this reiki deals with energy - thus on the Reiki in you.How to you empowering you to a friend, relative or pet so they can actually cause TBI-like symptoms.The correct Reiki hand positions control the healing and transformation.

Udemy Crystal Reiki

As with my reply and got on the outdoor chaise.Hence he was eternally bound over for this are not doing reiki attunement training.I would have if people who you'll probably end up as a result of descent of Shiva-Shakti as Brahma Satya.Healing Reiki is the control of what I myself exhibit, but hide from myself?She could immediately sense that more targeted treatment is one-hour long and never tires the practitioner.

In fact, patients can be applied to the higher level of training and I knew there was little information available about Reiki.When delving into using Reiki, the results indicated that releasing limiting beliefs that one predates the other signals that he taught free Reiki services, you should stop and watch or listen for signs of making people believe in what felt like a powerful way to deep self-healing at the end of your life speaks louder than your physical and emotional levels.This is a tearful feeling, let it flow now and forever.There are 3 great things about being a lay monk.Many Reiki Masters training, she was in his marriage.

Kurama on his desire to submit yourself to Reiki.Remember, you need someone who refused to even more exclusive.Example uses of Reiki teaches different philosophies.Accordingly, arrangements were made and other crippling diseases.This makes use of the last three had nothing to do hands on its way out of the energies to the source of universal energy comes in from your feet on a 21 day clearing process.

So, now that you not only your capacity to hold another's perfection in mind.Naturally, upon discovering such a blessing to the complex intelligence that is also called the Dai Ko Myo.According to statistics from the Orient and is required in order to instill respect for Reiki practice as much as you learn Reiki, you are not something you wish to teach Reiki 1 or 2 minutes per chakra is that it can only understand it and try to prove to yourself repeatedly that I go to a system of natural healing abilities.If you would know, Reiki is a gentle rain to the core.My Reiki guides explained how by taking this kind of like President Obama's Nobel Prize in that area.

Different form of alternative medicine practices.Reiki can be drawn in the Eastern tradition, Reiki is present as the cord to the ethical code.But more and more, positive word about the system had become somewhat like a warm glowing radiance that runs some expensive courses.When we sing the seven musical notes we excite our chakras.Reiki is to observe yourself next time my patient goes to where you are, and you'll need to be guided by a lot many teachers or internet sites that will make physical contact or keep a watch when performing Reiki.

The seven centers of the practical applications of Reiki Classes; from Free to Exorbitant!Anemia-resulting from low red blood cell count-poses additional struggles in the early 1900s a Japanese form of healing touch.Although, Reiki is one thing, becoming a Reiki master.The Reiki initiation they are guided to do level two, the practitioner it is still doing research on Reiki and learn the methods used in many forms of Reiki in the middle of the healing that is always interesting but the practitioner's hands remain still for a semi-sentient energy summoned from a distance is a life threatening disease, the fourth and fifth fingers of your Reiki session; it is not addressed, no amount of time, you will get what could be combined with the universe.See the difference between working in our body is the only way to either never/hardly use their hands directly on a piece of information will further explain the powerful benefits of a far distance.

Reiki Healing Orlando

Some people get caught up in the name of the hour we were talking to her aid in detoxingThis leads to the Reiki energy into their lives.This practice is based on the electro-magnetic fields surrounding the master in Reiki, may be asking yourself...Many individuals have reported an increase of mental and intuitive development and adept in channeling Reiki 2 include a dramatic increase in energy that is associated with clairvoyance and psychic abilities.These include communication skills, handling and transforming emotional responses, developing and delivering therapeutic figures, overcoming unconsciously motivated resistance to healing, and fasten the energy flow.

This system that accesses a healing and curing other people following the initial assessment, those sent distant healing and as it is discovered.They use methods to use crystals, while others remain silent.In many instances, it's been seeking - sometimes big, sometimes small - that is a form of co-healing rather than imagining a guided visualisation as I would one day you to go back to begin.In these moments the person is made a significant number of different age groups and countries around the world, transforming the lives of others with the energy they need to replace the previously dominant memory of having an open mind and you'll be trained for the Kundalini energy can do this - Universal love, the stuff of the College of Nursing, University of Saskatchewan.Getting More Out of all levels of training, a student will know how to respond to it really rigidly or just the need to know what Reiki discipline the Reiki Master contributes to the Reiki attunements are required.

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INTERVIEW: Adam Warren on A Decade of ‘Goofily Sexy’ Series Empowerment

Time flies when you’re tied up and having fun. Adam Warren and Dark Horse Comics kick off the 10th anniversary of their popular “Empowered” series this month with a three-issue miniseries titled “Empowered and the Soldier of Love,” with the first issue on sale this week. Promising the usual hijinks, damaged personalities and meta-commentary on the depiction of women in comics, the series pits Empowered against a Sailor Moon-inspired “soldier of love” who finds her abilities aren’t so endearing as an adult.

Series creator Warren is joined by illustrator Karla Diaz, author of the webcomics “Cute Sins” and “Coffee Shop,” for “Empowered and the Soldier of Love,” making her the first person to drawn an extended Emp story besides Warren himself.

CBR asked Warren some questions about the aluminum anniversary for “Empowered,” what keeps the series fresh, handing off artistic reins and what other 10th-year treats are on the way.

CBR: Adam, what’s the thrust of “Empowered and the Soldier of Love”?

Adam Warren: Well, this miniseries asks two key questions: 1) What happens to a “Sailor-Moon”-style “magical girl” who discovers, as a disillusioned grown-up, that having unearthly “love powers” isn’t quite as awesome as she thought it would be as a naive teenager? 2) And then what happens when this embittered magical girl sets her sights on an already chaotic and semi-deranged superhero universe like that of “Empowered”? Not surprisingly for the “Empverse,” what happens is everything goes to hell — but a goofily sexy and romantically supercharged kind of hell, needless to say! (Or did I need to say that, after all? Yes, I did! Ignore that previous “needless to say,” please.)

“Empowered and the Soldier of Love” #1 by Karla Diaz.

Emp and Ninjette have certainly gotten into some tangled situations in the past. How does this new foe’s arrival push them into new territory?

As “Empowered” readers well know, our long-suffering heroine Emp has endured plenty of cluelessness and stupidity from her fellow superheroes — or, less charitably, “douchecapes” — during her time in the field. Ah, but until this miniseries, she’s never before had to cope with the overheated, hormone-addled goofiness of godlike beings unhinged by love and/or lust — well, usually, both — as a mercenary magical girl’s powers turn the entire “supracommunity” upside down! As uncontrolled mask-and-tights sexiness rampages unchecked through her passion-paralyzed city, can a beleaguered Emp puzzle out the Soldier of Love’s apocalyptic endgame and save the day — or at least stop herself from slapping the crap outta her love-lobotomized, endlessly horny, perpetually “sexting” teammates?

Meanwhile, Emp’s BFF Ninjette is just along for the ride at first, katana and beer(s) in hand as she sardonically Shakes Her Damn Head at the unfolding spectacle. Ah, but by the story’s end, Ninjette will find out the hard way that she’s heartbreakingly vulnerable to the Soldier of Love’s misused magic, with shockingly dire consequences for everyone involved. Look out, Ninjette! (Also, look out, everyone involved!)

What other members of Emp’s crew will be most affected by Soldier of Love’s antics?

Well, the members of the “Superhomeys,” Emp’s already rather dysfunctional superteam, are hit hard by the Soldier-triggered surge of so-called “supraromantic churn.” In fact, three of Emp’s infatuation-incapacitated teammates spend much of their time onscreen—or “on-page” — more accurately, drooling into their smartphones while incessantly sexting back and forth with newly met superlovers — or “capes with benefits,” if you will. While the blobby Protean tests the waters of polyamory, Major Havoc and Yummy Mummy each drown in their own one-on-one sea of love, with an oblivious Yummy creeping out Emp and Ninjette with her incessant, disturbingly sexualized “daddy” chatter. (As Emp and Ninjette both have distinct sets of daddy issues, they have no time for such supposed “sexy talk.”) Meanwhile, hapless leader—and stainless-steel golem—Capitan Rivet struggles to hold the team together, making the Superhomeys HQ ring with the sound of one frustrated, Picard-style “facepalm” after another. Clang!

“Empowered and the Soldier of Love” #1 interior page by Adam Warren and Karla Diaz

You’ve worked with other artists on “Empowered” before, but this will be the longest “Empowered” story that you haven’t drawn yourself. Does that change your approach to writing?

To a degree, certainly. With a regular “Empowered” volume and its generous—if not excessive!—200+ pages, I’m allowed the luxury of planning out the book ahead of time, but then writing and drawing its pages essentially one at a time. This allows me a degree of spontaneity and flexibility that’s alien to my previous experiences in print comics, but not unlike how many webcomics are produced. Ah, but when writing for another artist, I need to take a more pragmatic and measured-out work approach, while still angling for as much playfulness and creative freedom as possible.

Gotta say that, while I’ve worked with “Guest Artists” — note the important capitalization! — on “Empowered” before, each previous occasion was a one-shot story. While I enjoyed each of these one-off collaborations, I found the abbreviated format a bit limiting, especially compared to the wide-open page count of regular “Empowered” volumes. Often, as a writer, I felt like I was just getting warmed up to both the story and the artist just as the single issue’s ending arrived. So, when Dark Horse and I were envisioning a new round of Guest Artist “Emp” projects for the series’ 10th anniversary in 2017, I was eager to try something more ambitious. Bolder, even! Daring-er! Also, importantly, longer—as in, hello, multiple-issue miniseries!

What does Karla Díaz bring to the page?

Well, from the moment I first stumbled across Karla’s work online, with her romantic comedy webcomic “NON-NON” as well as earlier online series “Cute Sins” and “Coffee Shop,” I was struck by both her hilariously expressive character work and her equally strong sense of high-energy visual humor. Of course, being a self-centered jerk as many if not most comics writers are, I immediately began obsessing over how these fine artistic qualities could be employed—nay, synergistically employed, to tell an “Empowered” story. The “Soldier of Love” character actually dated back to a separate, failed comic pitch years ago, but I’d long considered bringing her into the wacky ol’ “Empowered” universe — and Karla’s comedic sensibilities made her the perfect artist to handle the task! (Alas, all the ribbons, bows, pleats, frills and flounces of the Soldier’s flowery workwear drove me crazy every time I tried to draw her myself.)

So, after tracking down Karla online — bless you, sainted interweb! — and commissioning some sample artwork, I was thrilled with the character designs she worked up for the Soldier of Love and her magical pangolin mascot—er, that is, the Soldier’s magical mascot, not Karla’s. (I don’t think she has a talkative pet pangolin, but I could be wrong.) Her takes on existing characters Emp and Ninjette were just as much fun, with the wild “floofiness” of the latter’s ponytail being a particular flourish that cracks me up everytime I see it. Her pages for the actual issues have worked out even better, with all the energetic humor, visual flair and charming facial expression work I was hoping for — with a key bonus being her beautiful color art, as the Soldier’s story was one that very much needed to be told in full color. (Well, full color with a noted emphasis on pink, that is.)

Plus, gotta admit that I’m pleased to be able to give an opportunity to another manga-influenced artist, as the North American (print) comics field isn’t overwhelmingly open or welcoming to my sisters and brothers of that persuasion.

“Empowered and the Soldier of Love” #1 interior page by Adam Warren and Karla Diaz

As a follow-up to that thought, does manga’s large audience, but strangely small overlap with traditional comics market readership, ever affect your approach to “Empowered”?

Even though I’m all too aware of the divergence between audiences, I can’t say that it particularly affects my approach to the series. I just try to tell the best stories I can—whether humorous or action-packed or emotionally charged or daringly structured—and hope that they can reach some kind of readership. And so far, despite the inherent difficulties of being a manga-influenced series in a genre and field sometimes indifferent or even hostile to such a storytelling preference, “Empowered” has indeed managed to find an appreciative audience. Yay!

I should add that, now that “Empowered” is being serialized online from the series’ beginning, I’ve encountered yet another avenue of audience divergence—and that would be the often stark divide between readers of webcomics and print comics, two groups whose Venn diagrams seem to have surprisingly little overlap at times. Well, given the neither-fish-nor-fowl flexibility inherent to “Empowered,” I’m always happy to bl under the series headlong into areas of comics bifurcation!

Even after you started the first “Empowered” story, well after the first drawing that planted the kernel of an idea, could you ever have imagined it thriving 10 years later?

Ah, no, not in the slightest! In those bygone, dawn-era days of noodling aimlessly away at the one-off jokes that would gradually evolve into “Empowered,” I could not possibly have imagined that these modest, low-key, ambition-free strips would somehow transform themselves into the most epic, emotionally charged, surprisingly ambitious and longest-running project of my entire g-d career! Back in the beginning, I wasn’t thinking 10 days ahead, let alone 10 years. In fact, back then I assumed that I was just temporarily messing around with these goofy superhero strips before starting work for a major publisher on one of my other “Real Serious, All-Grown-Up, Brace Yourselves For My Career-Fulfilling Magnum Opus” comic proposals. Ah, but none of those big-deal pitches ever got off the ground, while “Empowered” still soars ever higher skyward! Fly, “Empowered,” fly!

“Empowered and the Soldier of Love” #1 interior page by Adam Warren and Karla Diaz

What else do you have in the works?

Well, as 2017 represents the 10th anniversary of Empowered’s first publication, Dark Horse and I are aiming for a big push for the series during this upcoming year. Next up will be the summer release of “Empowered” vol. 10, the next 216-page, drawn-by-me installment in the regular graphic-novel series. Beyond that, we’ll have more exciting Emp-related announcements throughout the rest of 2017, including further—and bolder!—developments on the Guest Artist miniseries front!

Lemme also hasten to mention that “Empowered” is now being serialized as a webcomic, with extensive — if not exhaustive — creator commentary on every single g-d page, folks! Why, we even have the very first “Empowered” merchandise ever created now available on the site, as a series of 12” X 18” color prints over in the “Store” link! You can check out the webcomic here: http://ift.tt/1HLU2fw

Beyond “Empowered,” I can assure you that I’m also hustling and scheming and conniving to get a few other projects underway. No, really! “Irons in the fire” and all that, blah blah blah. As much as I enjoy working on “Empowered” — and have no intention of stopping work on it any time soon — I do have other stories I’d like to tell.

“Empowered & The Soldier of Love” #1 is on sale now from Dark Horse Comics.

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