#blaming yellowjackets for some of these

[messybusiness]

tag game: 5 songs on repeat lately

i was tagged by @alaynestone 🥰

cornflake girl - tori amos

crucify me - tori amos

fade into you - mazzy star

nos dará alas - sen senra

maldito - the parrots (feat. C. Tangana) I'm obssesed with the music video.

tagging: @thegracelane @holocrone @henwilsons @asecretplantofightinflation

[deerest-deer]

lottie + hugs

[tabithatwo]

(x)

(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)

[sukibenders]

"Cannibalism as a metaphor for love is such an interesting narrative choice!" Until you add poc into the narrative and here come the millions of "think pieces" that either 1.) dehumanize them for the same thing their yte counterparts are praised and, sometimes, even...applauded for (eg. Yellowjackets and other supernatural media), 2.) or use it inappropriately to justify harm brought on to poc communities. But that's a conversation for another time.

(tw for some of the tags as well)

[sleevebuscemii]

i just feel like where yellowjackets faults in writing misty and shauna is that they set them up to be genuinely bad people, like specifically the people in group who’ve committed irredeemable acts (murder of adam/murder of crystal/the black box thing etc) but they also set them up as the characters we’re supposed to sympathize with the most. its like. yeah what shauna went through is abysmal and the way people treat misty is awful but like. it still remains very much true that no matter what happens to you you’re definitely Not exempt from it being wrong to kill people or condemn your teammates to starve in the woods or drag your teenage daughter into a murder investigation. like i just feel like whatever sympathy they want me to feel for them is outweighed by the terrible shit they keep making them do. like im supposed to just accept that shauna is gonna beat up lottie because she lost her baby and that’s taking a toll on her?? like bitch no! it doesn’t matter what happened to you you aren’t just suddenly allowed to take it out onto other people, especially innocent people (and especially woc)

[thefabelmans2022]

if coach ben does survive he would def be living off the grid because i know everyone back home blamed him for what happened out there.

[waterbearable]

like. i don’t even think it’s better necessarily, but if the only person with actual buy-in on the hunt aside from lottie was van (i don’t really buy tai as having committed here, she’s just going along w van which i think does repeat old patterns), then why not just to subdue lottie from the start? like i GUESS it’s some attempt to suggest groupthink but as soon as lottie starts trying to pursue shauna why would you make it seem like you’re also trying to get her? like i could see at least a couple of them trying to subdue lottie, lottie+van trying to fight them off, chaos/giving into the violence ensues. idk it just does not work for me and the outcome...ehhh

(more in the tags srry but for my non-yj folks cw for mentions of ideation, overdose, addiction)

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Exactly. These children are a product of their environment and I feel like Misty is no more at fault than Ethel was, in Shameless.

For context (spoilers ahead) Ethel was Kevin and Veronica's foster child. She was a 14 year old girl they fostered (V for the money, Kevin to try out being a dad) who was rescued from a cult where she was a sister-wife to a 65 year old piece of shit pedophile.

While she was with the cult she was preyed upon by the cult leader and groomed into performing acts of service and sexual favours for him, and that didn't go away when she was put into the foster care system.

That was normalised. So when she was fostered, she immediately tried to slip into her learned behaviours, cleaning the house nonstop and offering her body to her foster dad.

Did he lead her on? No. Did she have feelings for him? No. But she was indoctrinated into this belief system where sex was a duty she had to perform for the man she was in the care of, and when that became Kevin it manifested in her offering her body to him.

Misty we know virtually nothing about. We haven't seen her parents or the rest of her family. We haven't seen any of her friends or other formative relationships. We don't see the way anybody treats her one on one but we know her role on the team is basically just an honorary one just to humour her, that probably exploits her for tasks nobody else wants to do, (equipment manager probably just sets up cones for drills, etc, so the coach doesn't have to) but instead of begrudging the girls on the team or showing any jealousy, she seems to root for them, cheering louder than even the mascot and hyping them up.

She didn't hate or resent them for having or being something she wasn't, she admires them. She doesn't want anything bad to happen to them so she can feel superior, she's actively rooting for them to win. They inspire her. She doesn't want to be them, she wants to be with them.

All we know is that she basically wants to survive and to fit in with these girls. That she's desperate for belonging and affection. And that she is NOT like other girls.

We get the scene of her staring blankly as that rat drowns, not to show her cruelty or callousness, or at least I don't believe it is to show that she's psychotic as most people who dismiss her claim, but I believe it is to show her helplessness.

If you pay attention, it follows the scene where Allie gets hurt and she tries to intervene and perform first aid only to hurt her in her eagerness, and have coach yell at her to leave and call for help.

She's not clumsy and she does not panic easily. So I believe the reason for her absence of wherewithal in that scene, contrasting to her absolute clarity and single-minded focus during the crash, I believe is due to the fact that she is so used to her contributions to the team being behind the scenes, to nobody's applause, that when she finally gets the chance to contribute something valuable in a meaningful way she gets so overexcited she trips all over herself.

In the wilderness though she is in shock, and her body and brain slip into hyperfocus to avoid contemplating her own fate so she manages to carry the group's medical emergencies for the most part, and she is one of the most integral members of the group, if not the most important to their survival, next to Natalie, long term.

She stays in that state of hyperfocus throughout the entire second episode, from the moment they crash, until way into the night when she cauterizes coach Ben's leg. Something like 12 hours pass in this exhaustive state for her. And we only ever seen her finally snap out of it when she goes to pee and overhears Van and Akilah talking about her and she finally gets the tiniest bit of praise and validation after going beast mode for a whole damn day.

Like, she's not part of the group huddles when they score a point. She doesn't get a high five for putting cones down. This was the only time she got any validation on that team. She's so used to being overlooked, is it any wonder she would do something drastic to maintain some of that momentum and crush the flight recorder?

Note: it's not the reason they got stuck. Like the name implies it just records flight data and other information, and its location transmitter only works underwater so they wouldn't have gotten rescued because of that anyway.

Point being it makes sense that she would act out and make these desperate gestures for affection or attention when so long she's been on the sidelines, at least through soccer, though from what little we've seen, probably in her own life as well.

Misty displays signs of autism, which would explain her different morality (autistic people do not see the world the same way, and their morality system is different from everybody else's. She is impulsive and

And unfortunately autistic people take people at face value and tend to have trouble reading social cues and are statistically more likely to be preyed upon.

So for Misty to walk into the room, see coach at half mast and think it was appropriate to touch it, especially considering the likelihood that she has been assaulted in the past (1 in 4 typical women, and between 75-90% depending on the study for women presenting traits of autism) it is more than likely that it was a result of her disorder and past trauma and it's not some mark of villainy or psychopathy.

Something that really aggravates me is the fact that some people think Misty is completely at fault for her actions towards and with Coach Ben.

It is obvious to me that she already starts out the show with some severe abandonment issues, and the attraction to an older man and her innate need to have him need her in all ways possible is— alarming, to say the least. Seems clear to me that if she isn’t a victim of csa, she is definitely susceptible to that kind of abuse. Her curiosity towards Ben and sex seems less fueled by an actual, sexual attraction to him and instead a desire to be wanted and seen by anyone, and through trauma a child can be taught that the easiest way to get attention is to take it through any means possible. When a child has exhausted every avenue for love and attention, they will turn to extreme measures.

Should Misty have touched Ben in the cabin? Absolutely not, and his reaction was valid. Should she have poisoned him? Also no.

HOWEVER, I don’t believe that Ben’s fear of her is a good excuse for him to “play along” with this CHILD and her delusion. Think about how easy it could have been for him, an adult that is obviously impressionable to Misty, to sit her down and have an honest conversation with her. To tell her, “no, I don’t want you. But I don’t need to want you for your existence to be worth something. You are worthy of love and attention, and I’m giving you that love and attention by sitting you down and having this real, vulnerable conversation with you.”

All Misty needed was to be heard, not to be played along with. If Ben would of seen that, and talked to her, I truly believe she would have listened. That isn’t to say she isn’t already destined to become someone who manipulates others and uses her pitifulness to her advantage, and I’m honestly not sure how things would have played out if Ben had this conversation with her. But I think it was needed, and I think Ben is somewhat of a coward for not doing it.

[alottiegoingon]

practice fun

shauna shipman x fem!cheerleader reader

summary: the one where you love to tease shauna during practice.

warnings: very suggestive and brief mention of sex (mdni), characters are aged up anyway, shauna is a total loser and reader teases her on purpose, not proofread.

you didn't have many enemies in your life, but you surely had a few. and right now, the biggest one was jackie taylor and her entire stupid soccer team that followed her orders as if she was the queen bee. it was pathetic.

not only you had some problems with jackie because she claimed that the cheerleaders' only purpose was to distract everyone from the yellowjackets, as if that was your fault, but because she had lots of power over everyone. that included her best friend, shauna shipman.

shauna could be considered your most loyal admirer even though you never exchanged proper words; nothing except a simple hello or a subtle shake of heads as greets. shauna was nothing like her best friend, not confident or talkative, always hiding behind jackie's shadow. always going unnoticed but never by you.

she made that an easy job, to be fair. shauna always had her eyes laid on you and it didn't bother you at all. actually, it amused you. especially if it meant that this was another way of you to annoy jackie.

and you couldn't blame her.

your cheerleading uniform was practically glued to your body, the short skirt swaying with every step, and the bow in your hair bouncing with your movements. you knew you looked good, and you knew she noticed.

౨ৎ

at the yellowjackets' practice, the cheer team was there to support, even if against jackie's will. you caught shauna staring again, her eyes tracing the curve of your legs and the sway of your hips. she was so lost in her thoughts that she tripped over her own feet, bumping into one of her teammates.

you couldn't help but smirk. this was going to be fun.

"is that your secret admirer?" one of your friends teases, nudging your shoulder and nodding towards the clumsy girl in the field.

"do you think she knows that she's being too obvious?" another one jumps in, mocking shauna before you could answer yourself.

you really wanted to defend shauna, but the amount of times she fell with her face squishing the ground while playing just because you were staring at her was embarrassing. even if you were partially guilty, blinking and giggling at her purposefully.

that girl was a mess.

after practice, you made your way over to where shauna was sitting, tying her shoes. you stood in front of her, twirling your hair around your finger, looking down with a charming smile.

"you like my skirt? it seems like you were having a blast," you asked, your voice dripping with teasing sweetness.

shauna's face turned crimson, her eyes wide as she looked up at you. "i-i wasn't... i mean, i didn't..." she stammered, clearly flustered.

you chuckled, bending down so you were at her eye level. "relax, shauna. it's okay to look. just try not to trip over yourself next time," you said, winking at her.

shauna swallowed hard, nodding slightly. "i'll try," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

"good girl," you said, patting her cheek gently before standing up. "see you around, shipman."

as you walked away, you could feel her eyes on you again. she made it so easy.

you could almost read her dirty little thoughts and fantasies of sneaking around to the locker room or under the bleachers, pressing you against the nearest corner and lifting your skirt up to fuck you while you wear it.

but, again, this was shauna you were talking about, the girl who stumbled over her own words just to manage a shy hello.

and that's how you made it your mission to tease her in every chance you got, knowing it would drive jackie up the wall.

౨ৎ

during games, you would stretch a little too provocatively, your movements slow and deliberate, making sure shauna had a front-row seat. the cheerleaders were warming up on the sidelines, and you made sure to position yourself directly in shauna's line of sight. you bent down, touching your toes, your short skirt riding up just enough to reveal a glimpse of the spandex shorts underneath. you knew she was watching, her eyes glued to you.

as you stood up, you turned your head and caught her gaze. shauna quickly looked away, her face flushing bright red.

after the cheerleading performance and when the game was over, you couldn't resist. walking over to the edge of the field where shauna was standing, you leaned against the fence, grinning.

"enjoyed the view, shauna?" you asked, your voice dripping with teasing sweetness.

shauna fumbled with her water bottle, nearly dropping it. "i was just... watching the game," she stammered, her face growing even redder.

you giggled, leaning in a little closer. "sure you were," you whispered, your breath tickling her ear. "looks like your friend over there had fun too."

and the friend was the one and only jackie taylor, arms crossed, her gaze like daggers aimed at you. if looks could kill, you’d be in serious trouble.

౨ৎ

at school, you would pass by her locker, leaning in a little too close, whispering a casual "hi, shauna" that left her blushing for the rest of the day.

it wasn't just about annoying jackie anymore, it was about seeing how far you could push shauna, how much you could make her squirm. and if you were being honest with yourself, you enjoyed the attention. there was something thrilling about having someone so infatuated with you, someone who couldn't keep their eyes off you.

and, secretly or not, shauna liked it too.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

A Lottie Matthews Deep Dive/Character Analysis

Let’s talk about an enigmatic, other-worldly, lonely weird girl who may or may not be the leader of a cult.

General Information

Charlotte (Lottie) Matthews is played by Courtney Eaton and Simone Kessel on Yellowjackets. Lottie is 17 years-old at the start of the series in the teen timeline and approximately 43 years-old in the adult timeline. She grew up in the (fictional) town of Wiskayok, New Jersey.

She is described in the script as a “tightly wound, statuesque, lonely rich girl.” Lottie is gentle and soft-spoken until she finds her voice through her spirituality and leadership. She is deeply empathetic with a natural gift for guiding and helping others, but there is a darkness under the surface that she has been struggling to keep from taking over for her entire life.

Childhood and Relationship with Parents

Lottie is the only child of Malcolm and Emilia Matthews. Due to her father’s success in business, Lottie grew up in a very wealthy home (wealthy enough to have maids and to be able to afford a private plane). However this wealth came at a cost, as Lottie’s father’s busy work schedule resulted in him rarely being around. Lottie stated that her father buying the team a private plane was “basically his only form of parenting.” When Malcolm was around, it seems like he was cold, distant, and critical of Lottie.

We see that, as a child, Lottie often had strange “visions,” including a time in which she prevented her and her family from getting into a potentially fatal car crash.

The aftermath of this incident allows us to see how Lottie’s unusual behavior was handled by each of her parents when she was growing up. While Emilia seemed to believe that Lottie was had a “gift” and was connected to something greater, Malcolm was adamant that Lottie was “sick” and needed psychiatric help. Due to Malcolm’s influence and control in the family, it is clear that his mentality is the one that prevailed, and Lottie grew up believing that there was something wrong with her.

From what we have seen of Malcolm so far, it is clear that he was very controlling of Lottie and hyper focused on maintaining the family’s image. He is happy to take the reigns and make major life decisions for Lottie (including checking her into a psychiatric facility and agreeing to have her go through electroshock therapy) in order to maintain this spotless, prim and proper family picture. His insistence that Lottie needs to be “fixed” after she’s rescued says a lot about how he views Lottie and her trauma.

I believe Malcolm’s criticism and control of Lottie is to blame for her quiet, “tightly wound” and “statuesque” demeanor described in the script. She has learned to make herself presentable and acceptable, which means not using her voice and being rigid as she attempts to push down her natural thoughts and behaviors. I think it says a lot that Lottie regularly steals from TJ Maxx even though she definitely has the funds to afford pretty much anything she wants. It’s her subtle way of rebelling against her father’s control. Lottie has a strict set of standards she must live by, and stealing is her way of feeling free and unrestricted.

Mental Illness and Struggle to Appear ‘Normal’

Likely due to Malcolm’s insistence that something is wrong with Lottie, we see her taking Loxapine (an antipsychotic often prescribed to people diagnosed with schizophrenia) in the Pilot episode. Over the years, it does seem like Lottie deeply internalized her father’s beliefs about her mental state. We can see how fearful she appears when she’s counting how many pills she has left after the crash. She’s learned that the pills allow her to appear “acceptable,” and she’s ashamed of who she is without them due to her father’s emphasis that she is “sick.” I think that some part of Lottie is afraid of herself; she knows there is something in her, deep down, that is dangerous.

We can see this bubbling under the surface in the Pilot episode, as Lottie tries her best to appear normal and fit in with her classmates. I feel like her fashion sense in the first few episodes perfectly exemplifies this. In the Pilot episode, we see Lottie in cute little pigtails and, in the party scene, a cropped pink fuzzy sweater with a plaid mini skirt that looks like something Cher would wear in Clueless.

This is a popular style for a teenage girl in the 90s, but something about it feels inauthentic and slightly off when Lottie wears it. It looks more like a performance of what Lottie thinks a girl her age should be wearing rather than an actual representation of who she is. After the plane crash, Lottie initially clings to this look, but as she discovers her connection to spirituality, her clothing gradually evolves. She transitions from cropped brightly colored baby tees and preppy sweaters—notably echoing Jackie’s fashion sense—to long, flowing dresses. As an adult, she embraces bohemian kaftans and shawls. In these more eccentric and ethereal outfits, she appears much more relaxed and natural, contrasting with the rigidity she exhibits when trying to fit in.

We can see this in the way she talks, as well. She’s quiet and soft-spoken, at first, afraid what might happen if she expresses who she truly is, but we can see a hint of something a little more bold underneath (thinking of that amazing Danny Mears cousin comeback Lottie threw at Mari). As Lottie starts to believe in herself and her abilities, she starts to speak up more.

Laura Lee, The Wilderness, and Finding a Voice

Laura Lee is instrumental in Lottie’s development from quiet weird girl into the influential leader we see in the adult timeline. After the plane crash (and as Lottie’s meds run out), Lottie starts to have strange visions/hallucinations (including seeing a deer with shredded antlers, a red river, and smoke). At first, Lottie hides these visions as she likely has been doing her whole life due to her father’s insistence. But, once she confides in Laura Lee and Laura Lee actually believes her, we see Lottie’s view of herself begin to shift. Laura Lee is the first person to stand by her and insist that Lottie has a gift, and that her eccentricities are something to be proud of rather than ashamed of.

The baptism scene marks a major shift in Lottie’s character, as it is the beginning of Lottie’s connection to spirituality and “The Wilderness.” The mental illness rhetoric that her father has been feeding her her whole life is finally shattered, and a new image of herself is developing. This is only strengthened as Lottie’s visions begin to come true (Nat and Travis brining back the deer with the shredded antlers, Tai’s expedition group stumbling across a red river, the smoke from the flare gun Tai uses to scare off the wolves). As more people begin to believe in Lottie, we see her leading prayer circles, giving directions, and even standing up to Natalie when she challenges her. The Wilderness has finally allowed her to be her authentic self, which is why we see her so devastated when they are rescued.

Lottie’s selective mutism after they are rescued is representative of how important the Wilderness was to Lottie finding her voice. Now that The Wilderness is gone and Lottie is back to the real world (and back under her father’s thumb), her voice is gone with it. She went from being worshipped and being a leader to being strapped down, electrocuted, and held against her will in a psych ward.

Thankfully, Lottie finds her voice again as an adult, when she starts her wellness center (cult?).

Influence and Intentions

Lottie’s influence over others is undeniable. In the teen timeline, she managed to get an entire group of people who previously thought she was crazy to follow her every direction and worship her as a spiritual figure (including even the most extreme skeptics, Tai and Nat). In the adult timeline, she manages to get hundreds (possibly thousands) of people to devote their lives to her teachings and guidance. We can see just how magnetic Lottie is in the scene where the survivors reunite for the first time, the look of pure awe on Van’s face says it all:

Lottie has a lot of power, and, as the overused saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Lottie’s intentions are usually good. She wants to help and protect others, but her power and influence always ends up spiraling into something darker, resulting in disastrous consequences for her and those around her. She believes the Wilderness is protecting them, so she follows its lead in order to ensure the survival of her teammates. This results in cannibalistic rituals and a descent into complete primacy. She wants to help Shauna release her rage, so she lets her nearly beat her to death. This causes the group to do the card draw to save her life, which results in Javi’s death. She wants to help Travis reconnect with the Wilderness so that he can put an end to the visions that are tormenting him, which results in his death. She wants to save Nat’s life, so she kidnaps her and keeps her against her will at her compound. She wants to have one more hunt to appease the Wilderness and end the suffering she and the rest of the survivors are experiencing, which results in Nat’s death.

Lottie even has good intentions in crowning Nat as the new Antler Queen. Lottie sees how much her power has become warped and misguided after the group kills Javi to save her, so she chooses the most grounded and skeptical person of the group, Nat, as the new leader in an attempt to lead the group away from the dark path they are following. However, she doesn’t realize the burden she is placing on Nat, crowning her the leader right as the group has descended into something more evil and primal. She has taken the weight of the groups sins and placed it onto Nat, whose sanity is already clearly beginning to deteriorate. I imagine that Lottie’s well-intentioned decision to crown Nat as the new leader will spiral just as the rest of her intentions do, and more people will die and/or suffer as a result.

The Dark Side of Lottie

While Lottie is generally a gentle person, we’ve seen hints of a much darker version of herself come to the surface. The first time we really see this shift is Doomcoming, when Lottie locks Jackie in the pantry and hunts Travis down with the intention to kill him. Lottie’s laughter when Nat pushes her to the ground is definitely chilling and shows us that there is an unhinged side of Lottie that is capable of hurting people.

We see this again when Lottie insists on reinstating the hunt in the adult timeline, as she becomes insistent that she or one of the other survivors must die to appease the Wilderness. It’s definitely unsettling to see the crazed look in her eyes as she’s shuffling the cards for the hunt and after Callie shoots her in the adult timeline.

The circumstances around Travis’ death are still suspicious, as well. Was Lottie telling Nat the truth? Or did the dark side of her take over and intentionally sacrifice Travis to the Wilderness? And why did she drain his bank account after his death? And there are certainly some ethical concerns surrounding Lottie’s wellness center. Is Lottie preying on the trauma and vulnerability of her patients at the wellness center? Cutting them off from the outside world and their families and having them devote their lives to her is kind of creepy manipulative cult-leader behavior. And is there some part of Lottie that enjoys the power she holds over her patients at the compound? Was there some part of her that enjoyed having power over the group in the wilderness?

Lottie has been trying to push down and hide this unhinged side of herself for her whole life. While adult Lottie is more sure of herself and confident than we have ever known her before, she is still struggling with the same battle she was before the plane crash. Lottie is still confining a part of herself that she feels is dangerous. She still worries about her impact on others and her ability to hurt people. We see that Lottie has been in therapy for years. She’s back on the meds, and she’s pushing down the side of herself that believes in the Wilderness. She insists that the visions and feelings she is having are not real. We can see how afraid she is of that primal side of herself reemerging during the hypnosis scene with Nat.

The fear on her face when she realizes she's stepping back into that Antler Queen role is palpable. She doesn't want to step back into that role, but feels like it is out of her control. When the other survivors arrive at her compound, she initially wants them to leave, fearing her own reaction if she is around them for too long. However, her fear isn't enough to stop her from returning to her old ways, and, unfortunately, her allegiance to the Wilderness has fatal consequences in the Season 2 finale.

Season 3

In the aftermath of Nat's death in the adult timeline and Lottie usurping her leadership to Nat in the teen timeline, I think Season 3 will see some major shifts in Lottie. In the wilderness, she will have to grapple with no longer being the leader of the group, and the potential loss of purpose and direction that goes along with that. How will she feel watching Nat lead the group that used to worship her? Will she agree with Nat's decisions? Will the group still have allegiance to her over Nat? What is Lottie's relationship with the Wilderness like now that, according to her, she can't "hear it" anymore? Is Lottie the one under the Antler Queen hood after all?

In the adult timeline, Lottie will have to come to terms with the fact that she is partially responsible for Nat's death and the guilt and regret that may come along with that. There is also a high likelihood that she will be sent to a psychiatric hospital after the events of Season 2, so we may see her trying to once again reconcile the part of herself that wants to accept that she is mentally ill and the part of herself that truly believes in the Wilderness entity. We have also seen a casting for "Mr. Matthews" in Season 3, which likely means we will see the return of Lottie's father. Seeing her dynamic with her father as an adult will be very interesting. Will she fall back under his control? Or will she speak up and fight back against him this time? What will Lottie's relationships with the other Yellowjackets look like now?

Anyways, Lottie is a tragic, tormented character and I absolutely love her and all of her weirdness. I can't wait to see what Season 3 has in store for her.

[mayasaurusss]

I want me some yandere adult lottie, with an innocent reader. Do whatever the fu<k you want with it bae

Old ghosts. Contents: mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of violence, horror moments, Yellowjackets coded, light romance, two OCC's, reader is gender neutral but wears a dress at one point, Lottie is as delusional as ever, open ending 350k wors/ about six pages. Author's note: So uhm, I don't think I've met any requirments you had, anon. I tried to do yandere Lottie in this but it really doesn't come across as it and I'm not familiar with the genre, so everything I did prior to this sucked. So I did something more akin to a murder mistery? But since I still wanted to make this yandere coded, I left the story as raw and ugly as I could. In my personal opinion this is very Yellowjackets coded. It isn't a very romantic oneshot nor smutty one, but I hope you will still like it!

It would be an understatement to say you had messed up. You could not even predict where this relationship would lead you.

You had met Lottie months ago, or well, you had come into contact with what you now knew was her 'cult'.

The marketplace had been very busy at that hour of the morning, vendors shouting and people chatting. However, you felt as lonely as ever. After many years, you have been dumped by your boyfriend. Or, he had cheated on you and blamed you for it. It was for the better, really. You were clingy and he had taken his anger out on you on multiple occasions, so at least now you weren't going to be his next punching bag. You had been miserable: not that you really loved him, after all, after the umpteenth hit -love or not-, an animal stops loving its master. But you had never managed to learn to live alone, yet alone care for yourself.

Other than that, you were battling with the understanding that you loved women more than men during your entire life. That realization had come during your relationship with Simon, and he had understood quickly. One night, you were invited to his friend's house. His girlfriend was so beautiful you were jaw slacked and shy with her for the whole night. Simon's friend hadn't noticed, but Simon did. The morning after, you had walked in your office with bruises under your suit, a black eye and a heavy heart. He was so bitter and awful that he had slept with many women the weeks after, and among them -as far as you knew- there was the woman from that night. At least you had dodged two bullets.

So, the woman who sold honey knew perfectly what to do with you. It wasn't her fault, really. People like her see someone that went through the same, and just want to help. She introduced herself as Olivia, a woman the same age as you, and when she saw your healing bruises, she had told you about where she lived. A compound, lost in nature and away from civilization. There, according to her, people lived in harmony with nature and with each other. They learnt to face their inner demons and past trauma under the care of Charlotte Matthews. Their caretaker. Olivia talked about Charlotte like a believer might have talked about their God, with such adoration that it left you breathless. And, a bit skeptical.

You had accepted Olivia's invite. One of Simon's many gifts, other than bruises and breaking your trust, was throwing you out of the house. Besides your friend's generous hospitality, you were basically homeless, and jobless after your boss had fired you just days prior to your break up. So, living at the compound didn't seem like a bad idea. Olivia had assured you that Lottie -that's what she called her- had a special program for whoever wasn't in the right economical situation to live at the compound, but still needed care.

You had started to travel that same afternoon, having packed the last of your belongings and bid farewell to your friend and family. To go to the compound, you had traveled on old streets that unraveled through barren outskirts and lush forests. There was no one else in sight. That made you even more scared than before. How could you just accept a stranger's invite to an isolated place in the mountains? You had truly lost your mind.

But Olivia was so nice with you, so friendly and lovely. She had no problems in telling you what made her arrive at the compound in the first place. Two years ago, when she was 19, her father and mother had fought and in a fit of rage, he had pushed her down the stairs, almost breaking her skull. Ever since then, she had been taken care of by her son, who did not have time to help nor give a fuck about Olivia. So, for a year, she had been alone. That was until Lottie had found her. With the exact same tactic you had been recruited -kidnapped?- she had come to live at the compound and with it, came to peace with her trauma.

Your story wasn't as grim as Olivia's, but you still needed to be taken care of. "That is what Lottie will do" she said, brown eyes on you and a smile that could kill on her lips.

The compound was on the foot of a mountain, surrounded by vegetation and overlooking a lake. When you set foot on the ground, the first thing you heard was a strange melody, a chant in the distance. Olivia had been quick to show you away from it, inside the main building where your belongings such as your phone and wallet had been taken from you. "Well, that's because our phones chain us from nature and healing" she had answered you, after you had asked her why they needed to take your phone at all. Great, so, you are in the middle of nowhere, without your phone close to you, surrounded by strangers and without a clear path back to civilization.

Great, just great. What has gotten into you?

"Wait here, I'll go get Lottie" Olivia said, seating you on a wicker chair in the waiting hall. You had noticed that everyone here wore the same purple outfits. Oh, this is definitely a cult. "Here she is!" you heard behind you, along with the steps of two pairs of feet. Fearing that you might have looked like an insensitive asshole, you stood up, waiting for Lottie to circle to your front.

You had expected her to look like a hippie: an old woman with short white hair, sunglasses indoors, long hoop earrings and who smelled like weed. Instead, you found yourself in front of the most beautiful woman ever. Lottie was tall, quite literally towering over you, her hair was long and black, the same color as her eyes, skin dark coloured. She looked really good for her age, every wrinkle she had was perfect on her skin.

Her velvety, deep and calm voice had greeted you, "Hi, I am Charlotte Matthews. You can call me Lottie. And who might you be?" you answered back with a trembling voice. She smiled at you with such care and love you thought you could combust on the spot. "I will show you around here" she told you, as her hand came to rest on your lower back, guiding you through the place.

The first months at the compound had been... calm. You shouldn't have expected anything more than that, but it felt like a breath of fresh air. You always wore purple -heliotrope- dresses or clothes, woke up at six am and went to sleep at ten pm. Everyday the cycle continued, so much so that you didn't at first notice the... signs, as you were completely immersed in your routine.

Whenever you started to hear chants in the distance, Olivia, who was ever present in your life, would lead you away from them. If you questioned her, she would just say "It's just a special therapy. You will see one day".

Lottie was always with you. Always. At first you didn't pay too much mind to it, thinking that since you were probably a mildly troubled individual, she would feel the need to have her eyes on you more than the others. But Olivia had had it worse, far worse than you, but she wasn't as followed as you were from Lottie. And you were certain others have had it worse than Olivia.

Lottie was always following you: whether that was during the many therapy sessions, the lunch or even your personal alone time in your personal cabin -which she had so graciously given you just three weeks after you became a member- where she would knock at the last hours of the day to have small talk with you. It had become such a nag for you that at one point, you even said it to her, clearly and plainly, "Lottie, look. I understand that I might be... weak, in any way. But I'm fine, I don't always need you".

You wished you hadn't said that, because her eyes had stopped reflecting all light, a dark look in them. "Ah, I see. Very well, I will leave you alone" she went away and didn't talk with you for a few days. All the time though, you felt eyes watching your back.

Everything comes boiling back to right now.

When Lottie had talked with you again it was in the late afternoon. She has just finished one of her communal meetings in the clearing overlooking the lake. She had walked over to you, took your hand and led you where no one could hear. "I want you to meet me this evening, to do something that will build our common trust in each other" she had gestured to a man you hadn't noticed before, prompting him to give you a white flowy dress. "Tonight, after dinner, come to me, here. I want you to wear this" she talked to you, taking your shoulders in her hands.

When the sky became purple, you had gone out, waiting for Lottie. The clearing seats had been moved, now just the yellow signs of the compound's symbol left. Lottie had moved from behind, greeting you with her velvety voice "Hello dear. Are you ready for our therapy?" she said, and her hand came up your face, stroking your cheek. "Uhm... Lottie... What are you doing?". Your cheeks felt hot with blood, voice weavering. You had battled with your small crush for Lottie for a while now, and even if you did find her attachment to you a bit too much, you still liked her. So much.

Lottie just smiled, her other hand rested on your hip before she let you go, walking over the lake's shore. You followed behind her like a dog, small and frail in comparison with the towering grace she was. "Come down here, come" her hands extended to you, helping you down the wood platform to the shore's sands. She gestured towards the dark waters, prompting you to follow her. When you did, she wordlessly placed your body into the lake, the water splashing at your hips. "It's... cold" her smile was enough to fend off the shivering of your body, but what she said next made you rethink her sanity.

"I want you to lower yourself in the water. We will calm your heart as well as our trust in one another" she said, attempting to push you in the water. "No! No, no, no. What if something happens?!" your voice straining over, before she replied calmly "Nothing will happen, because I am here".

And how could you say no to Lottie? So, you started to fall back in the darkness, the cold waters nipping at your skin making your breath shallow. All the while, she held your head and hand, gently guiding you.

There you were, at her mercy. You trusted her with your life and she had to be responsible for it. In her eyes, this was the most pure form of adoration. She adored you and you adored her.

The baptism was over.

When you resurfaced, she had quickly guided you back to land and had dried you with a towel promptly left on the sand. With her hands on your cheeks, then, Lottie had kissed you. So deeply and lovingly it made your heart ache. Her tongue found yours, overpowering you, cutting your breath away.

You were so distracted that you didn't hear the sound of movement behind Lottie. When her lips fell away from yours and you could look away, a shiver went down your spine.

Masks. A group of masked people stood before you. Some depicting bears, some birds, some wolves, some humans. All lined up, looking directly at you. "L-Lottie... what is this?" you didn't know why your first thought was that Lottie must've been behind it, but something screamed at you that this was indeed the case. "My love" she said, "you need to trust me. To let me cherish you. It's what It wants".

You backed away from her, your blood freezing in your veins. Someone, a man, stopped you in your tracks. He trapped your arms into his, uncaring of your trashing. "Let yourself be one with the Wilderness" Lottie said, no light behind her eyes. As if something possessed her. She pulls a knife from behind her, and for a split moment you think that Lottie will kill you, but the blade slashes across her fingertip. She draws a symbol on your forehead with her blood, trickles of it streaming down on your eyes.

"We hear the Wilderness and the Wilderness hears us" the chants rise in the air, filling the empty dark sky. Lottie's voice is louder than everyone else, and finally the voices die down, as hers is the last one still chanting. When she is done, her body turns to yours, and she utters a single word.

"Run".

You don't need to be told twice. You sprint in the forest, leaving wet trails behind you. The masked people follow you, searching, predicting where you will go, if you will hide. Lottie is the last one to join the hunt, her white dress engulfed by the forest's darkness.

It seems like the forest itself has a mind, trying to prevent you from running further away. Branches claw as your skin and dress, thorns planting in your flesh, wind blowing so you can't understand if the sounds you hear are the wind or howls.

You run, you run and run, until every bone of your body, every organ and every drop of blood screams at you to stop. And just as you were about to fall down in exhaustion, you see something in the dark. A house, one that looks like it had been left to time's mercy.

The walls are dirty and rotten, the white plaster almost unrecognizable under years of dirt. Your sixth sense tells you to get away, to search for another place, but there isn't anything else that could shelter you.

The air inside smells of old, wilted matter. It makes your stomach close and you try not to vomit, pinching your nose while you explore the rest of the house, searching for a hiding place until morning. Your plan was to hide and travel down to the nearest town, then, telling the authorities that up in the mountains, a cult was trying to sacrifice people to a made up entity. You wanted to hope that by doing so, you would help others to not follow your steps.

From the hall, you turned left towards the kitchen. It was empty, except for a table with scattered documents on it. Photos of an old soccer team, articles about the disappearance of a plane in the wilds of Canada, a symbol... The same one of the compounds. Bit by bit, you started to understand. In between the documents, some by psychologists and others by articles, you found a small diary. It was a brown leather diary, expensive from the looks of it. The pages were yellow and some started to rot away, but you could still make up the words written on them. The words were written with a tremulous hand: it seemed like whoever was the author, they must have written quickly, in fear of being found out.

'12th January, 1998. I hate it here. It's cold in the winter, and it makes me remember that place. I try to help the other patients, but the nurses forbid me from doing it. They told me to stop talking to It, and told me it isn't real. I know they are lying. It must be real, or all we did was for nothing. All the hurt was for nothing. It can't be. I know it's real. It hears me, I hear it'.

Something about this made you shiver. Could It be whatever Lottie was chanting to earlier? 1998... the plane crash happened in 1996; it couldn't be a coincidence. You take the diary and a couple of documents in your hand, before continuing to explore. Nothing seems out of the ordinary: the living room, the bathroom, the bedroom; everything is neatly placed. You spot a dark flight of stairs at the very back of the house. It doesn't look inviting at all, and you're almost ready to leave, when you hear something outside. Sounds of steps circling the house. The hair of your back rises up and every fear you had of the stairs is thrown out of the window.

As quietly as possible, you reach the second floor, listening for the sounds. The floor is far darker than the first one: so much so that you can't see anything. You wait a minute for your eyes to get used to the dark and then continue walking down the hall, towards what you assume is a bedroom. Just before you reach it, you hit a metal tube: it's a ladder, red and rusted and it leads you to the attic. You are about to get past it when you hear the front door of the house open: someone is inside.

Quickly you head up the ladder and in the dark attic. It's not all dark you realize, some lights shine in the middle of the room, circling...

An idol. An old idol made of old bones and burnt hay. The idol was planted in the wooden floor, its arms branches extending outwards, bent up as if it was deep in ecstasy. Its torso was made out with a large ribcage, so you suspected it to be of non-human origin; inside the organs were replaced with hay and fresh grass. Lifeless eyes stared back at you, antlers protruding from the back of the skull.

You feel someone's arms circle your stomach, placing their nose in the crook of your neck. "I knew you'd come here" her voice said, "It told me". Lottie holds you tight against herself, mumbling incoherently on your skin. "L-let go of me you witch!" you try to shove her away, propting Lottie to just let go of you: as such, you fall in the candle circle, spilled wax burning at your skin.

Lottie watches you with adoration and hunger. Upon your fall into the circle, her eyes lit up. She raises her arms up in the air -much like the idol itself- and towards you, in some sort of divine bliss. "Yes! Yes! It- It choose you!" she says out loud, "I'm so glad it was you!".

You trembled in both fear and anger, "How did- How did you know I was here?" you say, looking up at Lottie, shrouded by the darkness of the room. "It told me, of course" she says with an uncanny smile.

You're shocked by this new side of Lottie, and for a moment you forget what she had done to you. "You are crazy Lottie! You tried to kill me!" her eyes widen at your accusations, "Kill you? No, no, I didn't try to kill you... I just wanted to...". Your anger makes you uncaring of Lottie's emotions, so you lash out at her "Just wanted to what, Lottie?! Sacrifice me to your creepy god-thing?!".

It's like she's torn between the illusion of her god and the reality that she had scared you. "I thought- I thought you were going to kill me! I thought what we had for all these months was for nothing!", what she does next makes your skin crawl. She watches between you and the idol behind, her eyes filled with tears. "No I wan- I needed to know that It accepts you" she said, coming closer to your body.

Suddenly Lottie grabs your wrists with force, like she sees you but her ears are filled with whispers from old ghosts and gods. "And now, I know it does!" she almost looks delirious. Lottie shakes your wrists in her hands and cries; the black abyss of her eyes staring back at yours.

"Can't you understand? This is It's love, my love" you try to move from her grasp, but even in her old age, Lottie still proves to be as strong as she once was. "Y-You were hunted, weak, and you lived! You lived! And now It recognizes you as part of Itself" a connection is made in your brain.

Shivers run down your body, at the realization that either you aren't alone in this old attic, or you are alone with a roman and her ghosts. Either is terrifying. "What... what is It, Lottie?" but it's far too late to run from Lottie or the ghosts in her head. You are sure that either will haunt you anyway, if you manage to escape that is. She pauses, contemplating your words. "It..." she tries to put a name, a significance to whatever this It is, but she decides against it, instead opting to close her arms on you, one caging your body on hers and the other cradling the back of your head.

Her voice is lifeless while it whispers in your ear "It doesn't matter. You are one of us now". That last phrase confuses you, "I have... I have been here for months now. I was always one of you, no?" she shakes her head, cranes her neck to look down on you.

"No, one of us".

[skyesdaisys]

Hi! Love your work, could you write a dick Grayson fanfic abt him and a quiet female reader warming up to each other (set between season 1 and 2)?

yes, of course!!!! god, i've wanted to write for titans on here so bad i just didn't have the inspo so thank you<333

—

talk to him

titans dick grayson x fem!reader

sunmary: you weren't exactly much of a people person. especially since you were 1 of 2 adults living in a huge tower in san francisco, watching over 3 kids you don't really talk to outside of training. and the only other adult being closed off so who knows what'll happen when he decides to talk to you out of no where

cw: not much, there's just some fluff with a teaspoon of angst because of communication issues (they both suck at small talk and beyond)

a/n: idc what anyone says about this show, it's given me so much comfort and a lot of fun and likable characters. so i'm so glad i can write for them as long as you guys send requests for them. as well as other characters from other shows like yellowjackets and etc. also i love dick grayson, even though he can be a bit annoying in this show (that i can admit) but he's hot so ajsjfndmfmf. also, i'm sorry it took sooooo long, writers block got to me badly these past few months, so i apologize if it's cringey and awkward. but i do give the benefit the doubt here because this story is suppose to be like that (also the fact i'm projecting my "bad at small talk" trait here). two grown adults that can't seem to have a normal conversation, like at all

after the trigon incident you were dragged in by circumstance, you were the only other adult to volunteer to help dick with... whatever he was doing. you didn't have any life to go back to anyways, and you made a connection to everyone else so why part ways and it be unlikely to see them again. sure, you weren't particularly close with the kids, but, what are you supposed to do in order to bond with them? so that left dick in titans tower, but he wasn't as much of a talker as you outside of training.

everyday for the past few weeks have been, eat, train, sleep, repeat on a loop, no 'how was your day' questions, because the days are always the same so there wasn't any point of asking. and you could tell the kids were getting bored of it, very fast, and you could not blame them. being stuck in a repeating pattern with nothing else happening started getting old after the first couple weeks. so, you didn't really know how long it would take til something changed, it couldn't be like this forever.

during this time, you admired the grayson from afar, he was attractive, what else could you say? you weren't an idiot. and you also were aware of his previous entanglements with kory and you didn't wanna be involved in that. and, well... you felt like a teenage girl having a crush on a guy who was going through some shit, so it was better not to bother him.

and not being much of a talker doesn't make the conversation about feelings be any better. like, maybe this was attraction and nothing more? you were aware of the difference between liking someone physically and liking them emotionally (specifically in a romantic sense). but even as you admired him, you learn things about him, paying attention to the little things. deep down, he cared for other people, if he didn't, he wouldn't have taken rachel in and helped her, and he wouldn't have done the same for gar or jason either. people just have their own way of showing their love and care.

but your admiring wasn't exactly subtle. rachel had noticed it when you were looking at dick from across the room, talking with jason. the roth wasn't sugarcoating anything when it came to this, "you keep staring, you're probably gonna be capable of shooting lazers from your eyes." and you knew she was joking around but she caught you by surprise, making you face the young girl. "why is it any of your business?"

"because it's kind of sad seeing you pine for him like this." she points out, "and also, gar and jason made a bet whether or not you'd confess. we have eyes, you know?" and she lightly bumped your shoulder with hers with a smile on her face, "and i'm sure dick feels the same way, though he's not very good of showing it."

"that is ridiculous." you shake your head, "one, i don't like him. not like that. i just think he's cool."

"are you sure about that?" the roth rose her eyebrow, "talk to him." but you were not moving from where you were so rachel decided to take matters into her own hands, she then gave you a push (a literal one) towards him, and now you couldn't run away. all you could say was, "hey..."

"hey." he responded. jason just stood there awkwardly in between the two of you, "okay, well uh—" he pretends to look at a watch that's not even on his wrist, "look at the time, i must be going." and he had immediately ran out of there before dick tried to stop him. there was an silent pause and you were trying to figure out what to say, but before you could, he asks, "do you want some coffee?" all you did was nod. after that, there was even more silence, you two haven't had a conversation that wasn't training related in like, a while. it just felt like you were both strangers who didn't know each other nor were you fond of one another.

"you're just as bad at small talk as i am, huh?" you finally had spoken up. and dick just shook his head, "i don't know what you're talking about, i know how to make small talk."

"oh really?" you rose up your eyebrow, "okay mr. 'i know how to make small talk', what do you wanna talk about? and please, don't let it be training related. because if i have to hear you talk about that one more time, my head is gonna explode." you tried to look irritated, but he could notice a small smile on your face. then he immediately went into the 'deep, emotional' stuff, "you never told me why you came here. you just did, and i'm surprised you stuck around as long as you have."

you answered it anyway, because why not, "well, it's not like i have anywhere else to go." you set down your drink, making direct eye contact at him, "besides, the second i got here, and realized how big this place is and i have my own room... what, did you expect me to pass it up?" and you ended up making him laugh, which was surprising, "what is so funny, i'm just being honest." you were unsure why he was laughing, so you just took a sip of your coffee. he explained, "your honesty is refreshing, that's all."

"really?" and he nodded as a reply. you just sighed, taking your coffee and leaving. it's not like you had anything else to talk about and just sitting there would make it more awkward, so you just left. does it make it any less weird? absolutely not.

you guys didn't talk much after in the next few days, up until you decided to play hero on solo when you see a woman getting mugged by this guy in a mask. it was like one of the many movie cliches that you see brought into reality.

too bad it didn't turn out like expected, where you got shot in the leg. thankfully, the kids were able to track you down and bring you to the infirmary, gar was trying his best to patch you up and rachel was there for emotional support. as for jason... there wasn't much else he can do than just stand watch, up until dick had walked in with a worried expression, and the three teens immediately rushed out of there as soon as he walked in the room. you could've left if you wanted too but, obviously you couldn't.

"jesus fuck, you could've gotten yourself killed, what were you thinking?" all of his emotions were being let out in that moment, it was the most emotion you've seen him express towards you in like... ever. yet you couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic, "yeah, keep yelling... it's not like i'm literally a few feet away from you or whatever."

dick sat on the edge of the bed and started to explain, "sorry, it's just... when i heard what happened, i didn't know how to feel, or express it correctly." he gently set his hand on your injured leg, softly, "just if anything happened to you, i—"

"i'm tougher than you think, grayson." you reassured him, and you noticed a tiny smile creeping up on his face.

"i know it's just... i don't wanna lose anyone else."

you lean up a bit to set your hand on his shoulder, "i'm not going anywhere, dick." you then stopped for a second as you come to realize, "and we just had a conversation that didn't involve small talk. maybe i should get myself hurt more often." you were obviously joking at that last part, but dick's reaction to it was priceless, "i'm kidding. you are just... not what i expected."

"the feeling is mutual."

a part of you wanted to kiss him, that it felt right, but another part was saying how the timing of it all wasn't. and maybe these feelings you're having are actually real. because now, there was something in your heart that was growing that wasn't just admiration, and it felt weird, but a good weird.

maybe when the timing is right, they'll get to it, but until then, your growing friendship in the moment is enough for now.

[tomorrowsgardennc]

🍠 harvesting sweet potatoes 🍠

this was my second year growing potatoes, but my first year growing sweet potatoes specifically. when i grew normie potatoes, i ended up with less than what i put in the ground... that's how bad it turned out. while researching why i did so badly, i learned sweet potatoes grow totes differently so i decided i would try those this year.

i am very happy i did.

i started off by bringing my teeny tiny harvest basket assuming i did horribly, but after half of the first plant i had to go grab my big boi harvest crate my dad made me. i also found 4 baby carrots that i grew last year during my harvest. ignore those.

prior to harvesting, i turned to the internet out of habit to see what needed to be done. sadly, the internet had varying degrees of how to handle both harvesting and curing potatoes. then i remembered farmer mama used to grow these so i hit her up for the true knowledge. i shall put it here for y'all.

there's no need to wait until first frost, and actually it's prolly not ideal if you wait. it's going to be first frost pretty soonTM so right now is just fine. it's easier to diggie dig if you trim back all the vines first. i did prune back the vines and leaves the deer left for me, and i tossed them in as my first layer of compost for the garlic bed (garlic post soon, i'm running behind on planting them...)

now i can grab on to the neck of the plant and rip it up. totally not morbid to phrase it that way. to say i squeed with joy when i saw large and bountiful potatoes this time is an understatement. hubs was prepping the perennial flower area to plant those plants and he thought i was getting attacked by yellowjackets again. my yipee and my panic screams are the same so i don't blame him.

for digging, since this was in my tall raised bed i just used my arms and hands and dug around. i had my shovel handy, but my acoustic self prefers to use hands for everything, and also because the shovel could pierce the skin of the potatoes. which isn't horrible, but an annoyance and an extra worry when curing so just not worth imo. the potatoes didn't go further than 8 inches below the soil, so no reason to keep digging. you can also tell when the roots get smaller and smaller. i also learned that for sweet potatoes like 90% of the taters are right under that neck, so also no real reason to dig around too much except if you want to find those baby outliers.

so incredibly happy with this harvest 😍❤️🍠

the purpose of me growing these was because, well, why not, but also because i want to offer sweet potato slips at the farmers market next april. i offered only a few this year because i just didn't know what would happen and if i wanted someone else to grow it and see how theirs turned out to compare. why purple? well, why normie???? purple is so much prettier and i'm actually going to focus on a lot of purple produce in 2025 lmao. but i digress.

ok so i hit the tumblr photo limit just from talking about harvesting these gorgeous purple divas therefore i shall do a 2nd post about the curing stage. spoiler alert: i am curing the baby tubers because market slips next year and i washed the big chonkas in my outdoor sink and boiled them immediately.

boiling was a mistake. good news is i learned the kitchen would look pretty with purple floors 🫠 and that if you clean up purple potato water on kitchen floor with clorox bleach that it turns the purple color blue 🫠 i love science.

since i got too overexcited i boiled too much. i saved enough in the fridge to make a sweet potato pie later this week, ate some for dinner, and then froze the rest in ziploc bags. i have a feeling i'll be making multiple purple sweet potato pies this season because why the hell not.

don't worry i'll have photos of the pie when i make it. hehe.

ok chores real quick then on to the next post about curing the potatoes, very important.

[peach-and-bugs]

teen nat with “You look exhausted, you know that?” ?? (maybe pre-crash)

❤️Blame Game - Natalie Scatorccio (1996 pre-crash) x fem!Reader❤️

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

GIF by gayliennn

Summary: Natalie seeks refuge from the rain (and possibly comfort) after the death of her dad...

Warnings: canon themes: dead parents, spousal abuse, guns, general angst

Word Count: 2,539

A/N: Hello Lovelies! it's been a minute. I was so busy this past semester, but I'm now on summer break and I want to get back to work on my writing with requests for dialogue prompts with characters with Yellowjackets! here's my first dabble at writing for the fandom with pre-crash Natalie! I really hope you enjoy it, and as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading ❤️

"Nat" Natalie Scatorccio Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-❤️-

It had been raining for most of the afternoon by now, which you had found strange given the sun being so high when you'd left school. But the rain persisted into the night and you now found yourself sitting at your desk, scribbling away in your diary about your day and just general thought and feelings. You'd found that even when you had a mundane day, writing was still good. It helped keep up the habit for when you needed the outlet. 

You started to run out of things to say and instead began to chew at the eraser of your pencil. One of your cassettes played quietly in your walkmen, but you could still hear the rain’s muffled tapping on the roof over the song. However, as you moved to start scribbling again, maybe adding doodles to your entry instead of more words, your attention was caught by a different tapping. It was sporadic and out of tune with the rain and it paused as though some other element controlled it. 

Cautiously, you paused your song and listened. The tapping started again, clicking against the glass of your window. When there wa another pause you made your way over to it and opened it with caution. You paused again, licking your lips and biting your cheek. Why did this feel like the start of every slasher movie? Maybe youde watched those Halloween movies too many times. 

“Hey, y/n! That you?” a familiar voice broke through the rain. Without any more hesitation, your head poked out of the open window, hands gripping the windowsill as the rain began to wet your hair. 

“Nat?” you called in a whispery yell. “What the hell are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night?” thanks to your porch light you could see her fidgeting, hugging herself as she crumpled under the rain. She opened her mouth like she wanted to talk, but stopped herself. 

“Can I come up?” she said instead. You hesitated again, head going back inside as you checked the time. It was nearly one in the morning by now. Your father would be furious if he found out, but it was Nat after all, it was pouring and you knew she had to have walked here. You huffed, your brows knit as you nodded, ducking your head back into the house ans shutting the window behind you before running downstairs as quietly as you could. You quietly unlocked your front door, pausing after it clicked open to listen for the sound of any unexpected movement. When nothing turned up you opened the door just as Natalie stepped onto your front porch. 

“Be quiet and wipe your feet,” you insisted in a hushed voice, eyes already training on the staircase once more. You unconsciously took her hand tight and sprinted as quietly as you could up the stairs and ducked into your room, shutting it with the softest click you could mister. You shut your eyes, listening against the door for any sign you might have woken your parents, but once you felt it was all clear you relaxed with a sigh and turned back to look out on your room. 

“You didn’t have to let me up if I was gonna get you in trouble,” Natalie mumbled. She’d begun to fidget where she stood, her thumb stroking over the strap of her soaked backpack. She didn’t move from where she stood and seemed to avoid making eye contact with you or anything in the room for that matter. 

“It’s running outside and you’re soaked,” she shrugged, eyes turning down to her dripping shoes. 

“I don't wanna put you out’s all,” your eyes transfixed on her in the quiet. She didn’t look at you for any of it but in the short time you stood awkwardly in front of you you could tell something was wrong. You knew Nat well. Well, maybe not this Natalie specifically, but you knew the Natalie from middle school who had sleepovers at your house nearly every Saturday and loved playing board games with your family and stopping for secret ice cream with you on the way home from school. That all had been some time ago, but you knew her, and even with all that she’d hanged that Natalie was still in her. You saw her right then. 

“You doing ok? You seem off,” you inquired, slowly approaching her like she was a skittish dog. She looked up finally, slightly geared by the sudden proximity change, but she relaced as your reached for her fidgety hand. She let you take it, watching the tenderness in your motion. She hated being fragile. 

“My dad’s gone,” she breathed, biting her lower lip. She’d been doing it for a while now. The skin of it was dry and chapped, red from repeated tearing away at the layering resulting in a swollen tenderness. 

“I’m sorry. For good this time?” you weren't sure that was the right question to ask. Natalie’s dad always had a tendency to come and go, but given her demeanor either it was over or something else was going on. She sniffed heavily and let out a dry laugh as she jerked her eyes from you. 

“Yeah, well seeing he put a bullet in his head I’d say it’s for good,” she pressed her lips together, sucking her teeth at the bitter sting, and exhaled hard through her nose. She swallowed hard before she shakily turned her eyes back to you. She tisked at the expression on your face and felt your hand tighten around hers. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I shouldn't unload on you like that I-”

“Hey, no it’s ok. It’s fine. I’m sorry,” you reached and grabbed hold of her other hand ans squeezed tight, forcing an awkward smile. “Do you want clothes to change into? You’re sopping wet,” she shook her head but you tisked. 

“I'm getting you clothes ans you aren't arguing,” you turned from her and sauntered to your dresser, wrassling around in your drawers for anything comfortable for her to wear. Unbeknownst to you, Natalie was looking down at her hand, squeezing them into fists before she rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans. She never liked clammy hands. You turned back to her eventually, shoving the pile of clothes in her hands. “Batheroom’s where it’s always been,” you pointed to the door that connected to your room.  

“And feel free to dry off with a towel. Are you spending the night?” you rushed most of what you said, adrenaline pumping through you at an alarming rate as you tried to keep your cool. Nat eventually nodded awkwardly and made her way to the bathroom. The click of the door allowed you to let go of the hot breath that had been boiling in your stomach. Her dad was gone? Like, gone, gone. That was a good thing, wasn’t it? Well, maybe not given how upset she seemed. You never would have thought of Nat to be the type to mourn her father, cruel as that may sound. And why had she come to your house of all places? She hadn’t talked to you in years. She’d gotten so committed to the soccer team that she’d moved away from you but here she was now, dropping the bomb that her dad had killed himself.

“You alright?” Nat opening the door and talking to you had pulled you out of your head. She’d dried her hair off with a towel and was now draping it over the floor to sit her bookbag on top of it to dry. Her brown hair was tousled and knotted from what you assumed had been her vigorous rubbing to dry off. She’d folded her clothes in a pile that she added next to her bookbag and stood awkwardly barefoot in a pair of old shorts and a baggy tee shirt that used to be your dad’s. 

“Yeah, I'm good,” you smiled, standing again. “You want some socks? The hardwood gets cold,” you said as you actively moved to grab a pair of fuzzy socks you'd gotten for Christmas from one of your drawers. You shoved them in her hands before she could decline. She held them for a moment, unmoving despite the gentle sway of her thumb over the cotton material before leaning over to put them on. As she did that you took her clothes and draped them over the footboard of your bed to air out. 

“Are you staying over?” you asked again. You knew if she said no you'd still keep her here. You didn't want to worry about her out in the rain again. 

“Only if that's alright,” you smiled with a single nod.

“Of course. It can be like before,” you chuckled, turning to adjust things on your bed. You might have caught the tiny flicker in Nat’s lips had you been looking. But you hadn’t and climbed into bed instead, shimmying under the covers to get comfortable. Nat slowly followed but lay on her back over the blankets, folding her hands on her chest. You only watched her for some time, not knowing what subject to broach, if any at all.  

“You look exhausted, you know that?” you eventually murmured. Nat turned her head to you and let out a warm sigh. Her eyes seemed sunken, bags growing dark under them. You wondered how much she’d been sleeping. 

“That kinda happens when-” she stopped herself abruptly. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No…” her voice lulled to a whisper as she paused. That pause felt like it lasted hours till she sniffled. “Maybe a little,” she swallowed thickly. You scooted in closer to her, reaching your hand out t her ever so lightly to wordlessly offer it to you. 

“It was my fault,” you shook your head. 

“Nat. you’re seventeen,” she sniffled loudly and quickly dried her tears just as they fell from her eyes. She didn’t look at you, her eyes transfixed up at your ceiling in a feeble attempt to keep herself together. 

“I grabbed the gun. He wouldn't have had it had I not,” 

“It’s not your fault,”

“He was beating on my mom again because I had a boy in my room,” frustrated disdain filled her tone. “And it’s not like anything was happening! I mean, it was just Kevyn,” she scoffed at his name. Unbeknownst to Natalie, you knew the boy had the biggest crush on her known to man. How she didn’t realize it baffled you, but that wasn’t relevant at the moment. 

“But I grabbed the gun. And I left the safety on and he took it from me and fucked around with it,”

“Natalie,” you kept your voice low. Her breathing had started to flair as she fully cried now. You took her hand, squeezing it tight. She didn’t look at you but unconsciously clenched both her fists around your fingers, and brought them to her chest, pressing it tight to her in some kind of attempt to ground yourself maybe. “Natalie, Who had the gun?” she managed to get out. She sniffled again. She would have called it pitiful, but you basked in the sound. Not in a weird way, but because she could trust you with this. She shook her head. 

“Did you shoot him?” her breath shook as she took a deep inhale.

“He did,” 

“So, who’s fault it that?” she turned her head away, squeezing her eyes shut as she covered her mouth to suppress a sob. She let go of your hand and turned onto her side, leaving only her heaving shoulders in your view. You scooted out of bed, moving slowly behind her. She flinched as your fingertips made contact with her back, but you found she quickly relaxed under her touch as you began rubbing your hand in circles over the surface area. 

“Nat, it was his fault,” you murmured. She continued to cry, curled into a ball on the edge of your bed. You weren't even sure if she was hearing any of what you said, but you didn’t feel you should prioritize that. You stayed that way with her for a while, till you maneuvered onto your side, laying behind her and wrapping your arm around her instead of continuing to massage your back. You felt her take your hand again, bringing your fingers close to her face.  She seemed to bury her face in your hand in some feeble attempt at self-soothing. 

Eventually, she turned around in your arms and found herself up close and personal with you. Thanks to the dim light she prayed you wouldn't see the red in her cheeks burning from the sudden proximity. She let go of your hand quite abruptly. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, eyes darting away. You only smiled and nodded, scanning her puffy, tear-streaked face. Without giving it much thought, you reached forward, brushing loose, now dry hair from her face. Your fingertips skimmed over her forehead with a delicateness Nat couldn't find herself familiar with. 

“You look exhausted, you know that?” she shrugged but locked into your gaze. 

“I’ve always been like that,” she forced a chuckle but found you frowning. You thumbed away leftover tears from her eyes ans found your hand lingering. When you noticed you made the motion of pulling away from her but she grabbed your hand, holding it where it was. She bit her bottom lip, her brows knitting with overwhelming consideration till she hissed out the words “fuck it” and leaned it. 

She’d let go of your hand in exchange for the back of your neck, which fit quite comfortably against the flat of her palm. She’d shut her eyes hard and had kind of clumsily crashed into you, definitely taking you by surprise. For a second it was quite startling, but you didn’t panic or pull away. But once you got over the shock, you relaxed into her, smiling against her lips, which given their chapped nature left a metallic taste against your tongue. 

You’re hand, which had been hovering above the covers after being abandoned slowly settled on Natalie’s hip as you shut your eyes and you felt her exhale through her nose as the air flittered against your cheek. Yet, just as fast as she’d moved in she was done, leaving your lips to chase after her. Her eyes were wide and blown when you opened yours again and she seemed to have a grimace on her face. 

“Shit, was I that bad?” you sucked in a breath through your teeth. Her grimace subsided and she shook her head, now looking confused. 

“No. I was more so waiting for you to be pissed with me,” she admitted. You smiled and laughed quietly. 

“Why would I be mad?”

“I dunno, I kinda just did it and I didn’t ask-”

“Didn’t ask if I liked girls?” 

“Do you?” she chuckled again, scooting closer to her. 

I dunno, I might. I mean, I might at least like one girl,”

“That's so fucking corny,” Natalie finally smiled, letting go of a laugh in her throat. 

“Yeah, but I got you to smile finally,” you squeezed her hip. “I consider that a win in my book,”

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Gonna throw this random Yellowjackets theory around:

We know the girls did some abhorrent things to survive. And we know they have intense guilt, to the point where they refuse to talk about it and they are paranoid people will find out, almost like they're worried they'll go to jail if they found out but most of it is understandable. So far there's been no outright murder or anything like that.

And so far it's been ritualistic and accidental and as close to guilt free as possible so what are they so worried about?

Well, reading the little blurb on prime

"Wildly talented high school girls' soccer players descend into savage CLANS"

Multiple

What if that's a bit of a spoiler? What if there's a fissure and the group splits into multiple parties? More than just Coach Ben splitting off on his own? And what if they didn't just hunt down one pit girl but it was an all-out war between the two groups?

Natalie becoming the antler queen is bound to be polarising when she's spent the first two seasons alienated from the other girls by not only the massive chunks of time she has to spend isolated with Travis, but also her relationship with the guy that's been a shithead to everyone since day one.

We've already seen excerpts of Shauna's diary complaining that it wasn't her that got picked and we've seen her attitude with regards to most things. She's always had a sense of entitlement but she's surely not the only yellowjacket who isn't 100% on Natalie's side and will have reservations going forward about her leadership.

But more than that, there's already a bit of a hierarchy that's forming with certain characters being more valuable than others. The girls unanimously deciding Lottie can't die. Misty deciding Natalie won't die either. Taissa staying back and carrying Van home. The girls all banding together, making their sacrifices to keep Shauna from being killed during childbirth. Natalie and Taissa batting for Misty to keep her from getting a beating from Shauna.

There's a small insular community forming already with the main characters that doesn't seem to extend further beyond the mains. Not even to Jackie. Cause as much as you like someone and as loyal as you might be to them, what really matters the most out there is usefulness and on some level -maybe subconscious- the butcher and the medic and the hunter are people nobody really wants to risk, no matter how deep they are into the lore.

Anyway, it might be that or it might be something I hadn't even considered. It will probably be down to some controversial decision or maybe even perceived slights, but my theory is that the girls will split up into a second group and the traps are to hunt them down. That maybe when they get rescued there's still a chance of some more of them being out there but they sabotage their chance of rescue out of fear of them being exposed on how vicious things got and all the things they did not just to survive but to dominate the other clan.

Maybe that's why Natalie hides her face with shame from the reporters and blames herself the most. Because she feels it's her fault for being chosen, and starting off this chain of events. And because it wasn't just ritualistic cannibalism on the brink of death but a more active form of murder that they perpetrated out there against this warring clan of survivors led by someone like Mari or whatever. Maybe.

[star-girl69]

do you have any hcs for what dating natalie would be like?

Dating Natalie Scatorccio Headcannons

(pre and post crash)

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol, regular yellowjackets things, tell me if i missed anything!!

pre crash

IM SORRY I LOVE NATALIE BUT…. SHES A LITTLE TOXIC BEFORE THE CRASH

and i mean you can partly place the blame on her using and also her home life, but still

she gets a little jealous…. gets a little crazy….

but sooner or later she’ll finally realize that she’s just being a little silly and apologize to you

date nights for her depend on her mood. if she’s happy? you’re going out and doing something! think shauna and adam in season one- mini golfing, jumping off bridges, etc

if she’s not in a good mood, then she probably just wants you and let’s be honest some drugs and/or alcohol (I LOVE HER I SWEAR)

if her dad is still alive then he’s real suspicious of y’all but HIS DAUGHTER BEING GAY??? HE REFUSES TO EVEN ENTERTAIN THE IDEA

just some gal pal’s to him

NATALIE AT SCHOOL IS WILD

when she’s not skipping she’s probably finding some way to annoy you

“will you come to practice today?” “sorry nat i have to study” “oh, okay. will you come to practice today?” “no, i have to study” “that’s cool. will you come to practice today tho?”

and if you’re also on the soccer team she is so happy!!! loves talking to you about what happened during the game bc unlike other people she knows, who don’t like soccer, or aren’t as into it as her, you just get it like no one else does

communicating with looks across the fields for sure

if you’re not on the team you basically are bc she INSISTS you come to every single game and every single practice

“PLEASE I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!” “but like we win every time you’re there so….”

coach martinez genuinely told you to stop studying and get on the field and you were like ???

but he insisted so you walked out there until natalie was like ???

“you do realize y/n is not actually on the team, right, coach….?”

wilderness

natalie is so done with the wilderness as soon as she gets there like

especially during the summer months even if you suck you’re going hunting with her

like literally imagine just sitting on a tree stump while natalie just goes PEW PEW PEW and the brings back like a bunch of dead rabbits bc she’s amazing like that

she LOVESSSS reminding you (and everyone tbh) that she was the one to get the food

“omg this is so good” “thanks yeah what can i say i have a gift”

she totally finds a little corner of the cabin somewhere and just is like: me and you here ok? ok

winter months get crazy

all of sudden she’s like no don’t come hunting stay back but like you’ve gotten weirdly into it now and besides YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER??

“no you can’t come”

“why?”

“bc it’s cold!!!!”

“ok and??? you’re going!!!”

“ITS DIFFERENT OK”

“NO ITS NOT???”

eventually she’ll probably cave in and let you come but TRUST she is wrapping you up herself you look like a little penguin at the end probably

but if it’s ever like REALLY cold she is not above begging to make sure you stay in the cabin

—-

everything taglist:

@emilynissangtr