#black snails :')
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i read black sails as black snails ONCE. one fucking time. and now everytime i read it i read snails.
i want my misery to end.
#i want to not think of snails everytime i read about my favourite show#pls#desperately begging#PLEASE#i want to kms#but regardless its an incredible show and everybody should watch it like right now#gay pirates#silly little gay people#black sails#NOT#black snails#captain flint#james flint#james mcgraw#john silver#charles vane#jack rackham#anne bonny#silverflint#pirates#max#max black sails#sword fighting and swashbuckling bitches
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redbubble says this is a "scarf" but i say it is a banner that puts fear in the heart of hardened sailors
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i love when it's argument at the black sails and they call each other You Shit
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Black bark snail, Pachnodus niger, Cerastidae
Found in the Seychelles
Photo 1 by juanjo37, 2 by mazzeip, and 3-4 by arkantor
#animals#curators on tumblr#bugs#gastropods#mollusks#snail#bark snail#black bark snail#one nice bug#goth friend...
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FUCK YOU *eggifies your snails*
#mideval paintings of kids n babys are so funny looking#chip is a black devil snail#snoozer is a gold inca snail#doozers lmk what snoozer actually acts like cos idk much#i love how bad always gives chip golden apples#smth smth demons and apples#trsmp#the realm smp#the realm fanart#badboyhalo#bbh#tr!bad#tr!chip#foolish gamers#foolish#tr!foolish#tr!snoozer#landduo#snoozer and chip being besties while their parents(???) fight is so good#not super happy w snoozers outfit but ehhh
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109 with jakey please !!
warnings: dirty talk, marking
wc: 399
jake has been pounding into you relentlessly for the past 15 minutes, not satisfied with any position he has you tangled up in. you started out missionary, then doggy, then cowgirl, then reverse cowgirl, and now you're back to missionary. jake huffs with annoyance, clearly not getting the results he so desperately wanted.
"what's gonna make you scream my name, hmm? cmon baby let me hear that pretty voice, i need to hear you," he begs and pleads as he pistons himself in and out of you, trying to slow down so he can rub your clit with one hand while the other brushes your hair out of your face.
all you can do is whimper in response. of course the sex feels good, but for some reason it's just taking you a lot longer to get worked up. and it's driving your man absolutely insane, clearly not giving up until he has you completely broken on his cock.
frustrated, jake huffs and grabs both of your legs and throws them over his right shoulder, crossing your ankles and holding them in place before leaning forward and bending you in half. with the new angle he's able to add more force to his thrusts and you feel your entire body jolt with each impact.
"oh!- oh my god!" you clutch his arms tightly, nails digging in his skin as he smirks triumphantly.
"yeah? that feel good baby? like the way i fold you in half and pound into you?" he swiftly kisses your hand that's closes to his face and quickens his pace, sweat starting to trickle down his temples as he watches your face closely.
"oh my god, oh my god, jake! jake don't stop!" you cry out, eyes closing as you lean your head back into the pillows and let your body let go, a loud scream leaving your lips.
but just as you reach your orgasm jake stops moving.
"w-why'd you stop?" it's your turn to be frustrated. he normally fucks you through your highs and it's just not the same without him doing that.
"because you sounded so fucking good and so i had like, a moment. you're so fucking sexy, i'm sorry." without another word he starts moving his hips again, but this time at an even faster pace than before, now satiated enough to chase his own high after working you through yours.
for part of my 1k follower celebration send me a member and a number from this list and i'll write a short drabble about it ♡masterlists
#i think i blacked out for a sec#jayparked 1k drabble event#jake smut#jake hard thoughts#jake hard hours#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#jake x you#jake x reader#jake x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x reader#snail mail
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Sanji in his little "Kiss the Cook" apron.
Is it romantic? Starting as a joke with kisses on the cheek and temple until the two of you end up full on making out?
Or is it platonic? With the straw hats giving him little kisses in passing, starting with Luffy and spreading through the crew until even Zoro relents? Because what's better than kissing the homies goodnight?
You tell me snail, what's the move?
-♡♡ lots of love
"porque no los dos?"
Kiss the Cook
Masterlist here
Word Count: 1,700+
Synopsis: Sanji was gifted an apron from Nami after returning back from town. Every member of the crew aside from Zoro and you have followed the embroidered instructions written on his chest, and he wasn't happy about the lack of kisses from you. You finally relent and give him what he wants.
Themes: platonic kisses, fluff, implied f!reader - but can be read as gn!reader, sanji has feelings for you, you have unspoken feelings for sanji, idiots in love, Sanji has lost that 'line-cook rizz'.
Notes: This has been in my ask box for less than a day. I don't know what it is about you, anon. As soon as I see those two little hearts I'm just overtaken by something. I blame the "kisses". @chikariart on twitter.
Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @sordidmusings @since-im-already-here @indydonuts @feral-artistry @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @writingmysanity
“Could these onions misbehave any more?” the chef grumbled under his breath, gritting his teeth and clamping hard down on his cigarette, “C’mon, now. What have I gotta do to get your layers off? Talk dirty to you?” He used the steel edge of his knife to attempt to pry the brown outer layer away from its fleshy underside with shaking hands.
Sanji’s nerves were ignited, his whole composure on edge and waiting for the next intrusion in his kitchen and potential distraction from his work.
When Nami brought the frilly pink apron his way, he was initially ecstatic at the notion he was thought of enough to be given a little gift. But as the red embroidery with white stitched hearts expressed consent for his body to be given sweet kisses at all times, he was truly alert. With an assault of affection from all who approached him each time he adorned the fabric in its wake, he was finding it difficult to focus on each mundane kitchen task.
In this case, peeling onions was the bane of his existence. As the flickered peel almost withdrew from the circular bulb, it split and only chipped off a small amount of the outer layer.
Sanji loved kisses, adored kisses: all the cheek, forehead and shoulder kisses he'd received from the crew. Cheeky Nami kisses, soft Robin kisses, and nibbled toothy kisses from Chopper were his favorites.
He was less enthusiastic about hulking, wet kisses from Franky, nor the hungry cheek kisses from Luffy which was used to depict the state of his appetite. Usopp was the middle ground, his kisses were a tease on his shoulder with a rough clap and a gaggle of laughter immediately thereafter.
Brook’s kisses were actually quite funny to the blonde cook. As the skeleton man had no lips to kiss with, he resigned himself to the notion of simply walking past him, and taunting him with a melodic hum of the words: “kiss,” “kisses,” or an emphatic “mwah,” as he did so.
Of the members of the remaining crew, he was happy that the stinky moss-head kept his lips to himself. There was no way he would allow him the closer proximity to his body without starting a sparring match. He was, however, not so happy that you were yet to place your lips sweetly on the apple of his cheek.
Sanji adored you, wanted to treat you with the utmost respect and dote on you alongside the other members of the crew. You were special to him, and he rationalized that his small crush was why he was craving a scrap of your attention so much. As he continued cursing at the onions, he heard a soft tap on the doorway to the kitchen.
“Need help, cook?” Sanji looked up, noticing you leaning on the side of the door. He smiled softly at you, biting back his smile and gulping his insecurity.
“Oh, beautiful angel,” he managed to turn away from the counter and look out the window as he resumed his battle with the onions, “I'm all good here, don't you worry yourself. Go relax with the others.” You clicked your tongue and stepped closer to the bench and stood a few feet away from the blonde cook.
Noticing his posture, you knit your brows in puzzlement. He was twitching while he was going about his peeling, finally managing to coax the shell away from the exterior and sigh in relief. His cheeks were tinted a soft shade of pastel pink, his nose the most darkened by the blushy hue.
Looking down, the frilly pink apron with ‘Kiss the Cook,’ held the final piece of information as to his nervous composure. You smiled softly at him, looking to where his hands skillfully minced the onions and threw them into a scorching pot with molten butter and aromatic herbs.
He rinsed his hands in the sink, lathering them with soapy froth and soaking the suds with glassy water. The scent from the pot of sweetened onions with rosemary, sage and thyme had your mouth salivating in anticipation of what was to come.
“What's cooking, good looking?” you smiled at him softly, gesturing with your chin to the pot on the stove. He froze up, his ears tinting darker with the shade of pink.
“J-Just a mirepoix,” he stuttered out, prompting you to shake your head and offer him a soft laugh in response. Taking the extinguished cigarette out of his lips, he placed the butt in the bin beneath the sink.
Noticing the tension in his body, you reach up and place a hand on his shoulder to urge him to turn to face you. He meets his gray orbs with yours, a sheepish look on his face as you gaze up into his eyes.
“You've been off the line for too long, Sanji,” you scrunch your nose up playfully at him, “Lost that flirtatious kitchen charisma and banter, blushing like a bride at the most simple of compliments. What's going on with you?” You graze your fingers along his jaw, leaving a rising layer of goose flesh in its wake.
“I-It’s-...” Sanji gulped his nerves back, hanging his head with a soft laugh and subtle shake in response, “...It's this stupid apron.” You look down at the apron with a smirk.
“What about the ‘stupid apron’, Sanji?” you ask with a raised brow before gazing back into his eyes, “Not your color?” He continued smiling and shaking his head at you before looking up through his eyelashes into your questioning and puzzled eyes.
“To be honest with you,” he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth to halt his words from sounding too eager, “I actually love it. Even though it started as a joke, it has actually made a big difference the way I’ve been feeling lately.” He shrugged, turning his eyes back to the ground and snickering, “Stupid, right?”
Cupping his face, you elevate his head and hum at him in deep contemplation.
“Not stupid,” you shrug at him, darting your eyes between his and flickering your gaze down to his lips, “Not stupid at all.” His breath hitched in his throat, eyes beginning to fill with hope as you drew your face ever closer to his.
Closing his eyes, he parted his lips and anticipated feeling yours brush with them. His heart beat in his throat, his ears hearing that drum of hope ringing with his elevated pulse. As he drew his face closer still, the balloon of anticipation was instantly deflated as he felt your lips brush with the apple of his cheek and linger for less than a single second.
As you withdrew from his cheek, Sanji was left feeling like a complete idiot. He stared vacantly, directly ahead with unblinking eyes and his ego completely deflated. His heart fizzled out like a flame being snuffed by a wet blanket.
Looking at his vacant expression and the soft blush on his cheeks, you couldn’t help yourself. A single, timid kiss was not enough of an indulgence to grant to the blonde cook, in your opinion. You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft kiss on his angular jaw before pressing another on his neck above his pulse and beneath his ear lobe.
Sanji’s breath hitched, his hands opening and closing in clenched fists and shaking extensions. Gasping, he leant his head to the side and whimpered at the soft touches you were pressing into his skin. His pulse quickened, his breath hitched, and his eyes clenched tightly shut as he argued with himself where to place his hands on you.
Trailing your lips down to his collarbone, you pressed a sweet and gentle kiss against the bone before clamping your teeth down onto the flesh. Sanji mewled in pleasure at the attention, throwing his head back and drawing up his forearm to his face to catch the damp blood from exiting his nose. His head was dizzy, his lips parting and whining as he felt your tongue swirl around the soft bite to his collar.
Pulling away from him, you sucked your lips into your mouth and bit-back your smile at his reaction. He slowly drew his eyes down to meet yours, the irises eclipsed by blown pupils and his desire. Giggling at him, you tilted your head to the side and clasped your hands behind your back and rocked on your feet.
Sanji surged his body forward, claiming your cheeks beneath his hands and carding his fingers through your hair the moment his lips descended onto yours. You squeaked in response, immediately placing your hands on Sanji’s hips as he pinned you against the sink with his hips. His kisses were needy, desperate and full of desire.
As he rotated his chin to deepen the oscillation, you reached up to his shoulder and tapped it twice while gasping in his mouth. He tugged himself away, looking down at you in shock with wide eyes and panting breath.
“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he began to hastily relay his apologies, “I didn’t mean to do that, truly. The other kisses I get from the crew are usually a little more hasty and less indulgent. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, honest-.”
“-Sanji,” you laugh at him, looking up through half-hooded lashes and brushing your nose with his, “Your mirepoix is going to burn.”
Immediately, Sanji broke himself away from you and stomped over to the large pot. He grumbled as he stirred the aromatics with a wooden spoon, growling under his breath, “This stupid apron has been nothing but a complete distraction.” You giggled at him as he aggressively began stirring at the pot to salvage the caramelizing vegetables.
“That’s it,” he tore the apron away from his chest and cast it to the side, “No more kisses in the kitchen. I refuse to have good food spoil because I’ve been getting distracted by soft kisses… sweet kisses…” he trailed off, fishing around in his pocket for a cigarette after he rotated the vegetables within the butter.
Shaking your head, you go and retrieve the apron from where he cast it aside and hung it over the kitchen table. Eyeing him over mischievously, you walk over to him and hold his hips firmly from behind and place one more soft kiss between his shoulder blades.
“Come find me when you want to put on that stupid apron again, hm?” you utter, releasing his hips and making your way over to the kitchen doorway and out of the room with haste.
Sanji shook his head with a warm smile and a dark blush. Looking to where you had just left, he sighed deeply and began to focus solely on the meal preparation with no more cause for distraction.
#one piece#x reader#sanji#black leg sanji#sanji x reader#op sanji#black leg sanji x reader#kiss the cook#ask snail#snail answers#anon. what are you doing to me?#I love your requests#they're so much fun to write#straw hats#straw hat sanji#straw hat pirates#one piece x reader
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bewitchedoddities_ on ig
#stim#moths#butterflies#art#sfw#brown#pink#black#white#green#glass#decor#mushrooms#wasp nests#wings#animals#bugs#insects#shiny#snail shells#crystals#rocks#minerals#mirrors#preserved bugs#hands#dried flowers#flowers#ishy gifs#postish
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#text#autismposting#stim#stim toys#agere#stim toy#agere stim#my gifs#snails stim#mollusc stim#molluscs#snails#snailposting#invertebrates#invertblr#squishy stim#yellow stim#brown stim#clear stim#cute stim#irl hands tw#up close#pastel yellow stim#medium brown stim#nano tape stim#nano tape squishy#weirdcore#weird stim#black stim#silicone stim
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OPLA watch party!
+ have a no light effect version bc the angle did nami dirty
++ the messy original ink i stabbed myself twice with the pen while making

#one piece#one piece fanart#strawhat pirates#monkey d luffy#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#usopp#nami#sanji#black leg sanji#netflix#netflix series#one piece live action#no you didnt see me delete the first version of this post wdym#sidenote i dont like having this much tags on my post#my ramblings get buried under the need of proper filtering and reach#side note 2: i unironically love the transponder snails
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Saw this post by @incorrectbatfam and had to add my own contributions to this beautiful meme




Be right back laughing my ass off at these
Added a blank one below. Please Reblog with your contributions I need to see more of these!

#batman#jason todd#red hood#batman wayne family adventures#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#nightwing#jason#bwfa#mr freeze#funny memes#tumblr memes#meme#funny#please add more I need to see more#not my taste in men RIP#please get the immortal snail joke#war is over#the immortal snail#add your own#stephanie brown#spoiler#Robin#cassandra cain#black bat#orphan#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth
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“ Flowers and Plants ”
Photo by Ishikoro. Japan.
Love & Peace!
#original#plant#snail#water#drop#nature#monochrome#black and white#photography#photographers-on-tumblr
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i want to put all of jon’s characters in a glass terrarium and occasionally add apple slices dusted with calcium to watch all the little jons scamper to the nourishment
#you know those videos where a guy puts an apple in a terrarium and after an hour it’s covered in snails and centipedes#i want to do that to all of jon’s little freaks#i haven’t slept in days#help#jon matteson#paul matthews#gary goldstein#richie lipschitz#boy jerry#roman murray#wiggog y'wrath#daniel stopwatch#trevor npmd#elmo keep#venus please#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#black friday#starkid black friday#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#starkid#team starkid
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