#bitchcraft and wizardry

[syn4k]

GET HIS ASS GEM

[magicalgirlagency]

I got some news, everyone!

Due to the many recommendations of HP alternatives that I have recieved thanks to its most recent game release, any post of critical nature reguarding the Wizarding World will be put under the new tag: Bitchcraft & Misery (an obvious and derrogatory pun at "Witchcraft & Wizardry").

So, if anyone is ever curious about my stance on That Wizard Book, you now have a place to go and check things out. It's still in progress, but there's already some content for you all to see!

Anyways, that's all I had to say; have a nice day, #ACAB, trans rights are human rights, and change IS nature!

[lostsoullover]

Why go to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry when you can go to Pigfarts school of Bitchcraft and Rizz-ardry?

[thepossumpunks]

Our Dark Academia Battlemaps are now available as a pack on itch!

Just what you need to get your players all the way to graduation! This Dark Academia Battlemap pack contains 5 highly detailed top down battlemaps.

Each battlemap is available in 4k+, Gridded, and Compressed for VTT:

Ballroom 35x46

Classroom 30x40

Library 40x40

Conservatory 30x40

Art Studio 30x30

[syn4k]

Yeah, but is your battle jacket enchanted? I didn't think so.

[thepossumpunks]

We’ve got a series of Dark Academia Battlemaps and supplements on the books for January for our Patreon! Plus, a third, secret thing. 

[syn4k]

Ever just look back at a thing that happened to you and go "dude, what the fuck?" Because dude. What the fuck.

[syn4k]

@andreaissy

It’s like this

[not-cool-enough-to-scuba-dive]

Can I have a problematic fave thing? (Problem number 1: I don't see posts in a timely manner, ever)

of course!

your fave is problematic: hannah

forgot what day my birthday was last year

thought i was a serial killer when we first started talking

always has weird stories about people she goes to school with

we’ve never met irl

[ao3feed-snape]

Harry Potter and Phil's Daughter's Stoned

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3n2ZTp1

by The_Understudy

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? More like Hogwarts School of Bitchcraft and Bullshittery.

Everyone knows that by the age of eleven, children have settled into the fully-developed personalities they'll have for the rest of their lives. These personalities can be easily divided into four categories: Nerds, stoners, badasses, and evil.

In this story, nothing is sacred, and canon is a joke. Even I don't know what's happening next. You may laugh once or twice. I only work on this story when I'm sleep-deprived to improve the quality of the story. If you're here for complicated plots and well-rounded characters, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. On the bright side, I'm not borrowing much plot from canon, so you get fresh stories.

Warning: a shit ton of swearing, like there's so much fucking profanity I'm pretty sure I swore like a dozen times in the first chapter. Also I will update sporadically because I am a lunatic who only remembers this fic once a month. Oops. Anyways have fun!

Words: 2170, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Harry Potter If Joanne Kathleen Rowling Had Any Balls

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Gen

Characters: Harry Potter, Arabella Figg, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore

Relationships: those cute eleven year old relationships where they "date" for like a week, all they do is hold hands, and then they break up over something stupid, it's so adorable when kids do that

Additional Tags: Crack, Swearing, Drugs, glamorization of drug use, questionable morality, but in a funny way, Out of Character, Drug Lord Arabella Figg, HOUSE STEREOTYPES, Gryffindor/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Evil Everyone, but they don't think they are, Morally Grey Harry Potter, Harry Potter Gets a Gun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I haven't decided on anything yet but, Queer Themes

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3n2ZTp1

[syn4k]

Transcripted the Galactic!

(Panel 1)

Xisuma: Come on, Grian. You wanna start a war. You wanna start a war so bad. Grian: No! Shut up! Xisuma: You know you do!

(Panel 2, in the background)

Xisuma: What are you going to do about all these taxes then?? Xisuma: Just going to sit there and take it? Grian: L + ratio, I'm rich anyways, not my fault you're broke

(Transcript for the Galactic under the cut below, just in case)

Transcript of the Galactic in the cut bit:

Xisuma: I bet you just wanna serve the king like a needy whore! Grian: You wanna see me on my knees so bad Xisuma: Fuck you Grian: You wish!

there's a bit of a language barrier there I think I just wanted a excuse to use this headcanon, but the dudes! the guys be vibin! did have another three pages planed for this, never got around to it though,,,

transcript and extras below the cut!

Xisuma/Grian: *general arguing about starting conflicts* Xisuma/Grian: *it is actualy about taxes* Cleo:,,, What are those two even arguing about? Zedaph: something about taxes? Maybe???

Cleo: What do you mean maybe? Zed, You always talk about how well you understand Galactic??

Zedaph: Hey! I can Read galactic very well, yes! ,,,spoken is, a different story however,,, Gem: yea, spoken galactic is honestly a struggle to learn,,,

Scar: what's with X trying to egg Grian into starting the                        another war over there Cleo:,,,Scar

Scar: hmm? Cleo: Scar, last week you said you didn't know any galactic.

Scar: oh, no no, I don't, why?

Zedaph/Gem/Cleo:,,, Scar: ,,, OH! Is that what that language is????

and here's the unused part of the script + my thumbnails! if any place deserved this part of the script, it'd be Tumblr <3

[syn4k]

Wisdom of the day: Birds are cool and can generally be seen in areas. You can even say hi to them if you want. Don't know the bird? That's fine. Social interaction is hard. Don't be afraid to walk up and introduce yourself. This has been your wisdom of the day.

[hogwarts-bitchcraft-and-wizardry]

Callout post for hogwarts-bitchcraft-and-wizardry: I don't know you terribly well but I've heard from Megan (and I've always been able to gather from your blog) that you are a kind soul who wants to spread happiness to the people around you. Rock on 🤘

Lily is probably too good for this world. 10/10.

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: the sweet subtleness of time

...or some other shittastic ~~pensive~~ title because I'm so fucking out of goddamn fucks already it's the 14th half of january is gone jesus christ stop fucking moving so fast i would like off this ride thanks

I like the organization of "new year resolutions" not really because I believe you need to wait for a calendar year to make serious changes, but because there's something very neat about the way things can slot into having to write a new date on all your sign-offs and checks do people still use checks? i only have to sign them at work and lists and notes; to the excel spreadsheet that is my mind1, I like the way aligning change with change sorts itself.

This year I am returning to quantifiable goals in some ways, since the general vagueness of "do X more" may be more friendly but does not truly work in the lifestyle I have at the moment. I wanted to do a deep introspective post as a lead in but fuck that, I already have two truly severe horror stories about 20172 and it's the 14th, but I feel like I want to make a statement about the year before I devolve back into bitchcraft and wizardry.

As another change this year, I am looking for friends to help keep me accountable to these things. I've already roped and wrangled a couple people along with me, but if you have similar goals, let's discuss ways we can shame uh motivate SHAME each other into proceeding, or mainly just me, I require someone to - not compete with, but to keep up with, in a way, anyway, I am terrible so do stop.

So here is a list of my intentions for what I have labeled 12/52/365/20173:

Health. Rather than breaking this down into a tale of my woes and triggering an actual breakdown I will instead list the targets:

Get more than 4.5 hours of (good, deep, REM) sleep on average. According to my Fitbit, my average in 2016 was below 4.5 hours4. This involves a lot of things, including going to bed earlier and somehow figuring out how robots relax.

Working out. My goal for working out is to visit the gym - or otherwise work out - on at least 1/3 of the days of 2017: 122/365/2017. 122 visits. This is 2-3 workouts a week on average which should be doable for someone with fibro, assuming I keep them reasonable.

General. Continue stocking and making healthy food at home. Drink less at home5. Go back to packing lunches for work.

Weight/Size. Due to medication changes, 3 surgeries, and a major job change with severely increased my responsibilities, I gained 25-30 lb in 2017, putting me into the beginnings of an unhealthy place I don't want to be6. It's also fairly annoying to be at the upper limit of most of my clothing, to be frank. My goal is to use the above 3 points to try to lose 25+ pounds in 2017, OR return to the range of a size 8-107 where my clothing lives. 25/2017. A half a pound a week will do.

Writing. lassarina is my partner here; we have pledged to write a fic a week of at least 100 words using a list of prompts we gathered earlier. (Of course, I am already behind, although I plan to work on that immediately after this entry.) 52/2017. The hope, of course, is that writing small things helps to spur the writing of larger things. They will be posted on AO3 and linked from here.

subgoal: at least 1 entry a week on DW (52/2017), and 1 entry a week on my secret business blog which I will share once I have some substance (52/2017).

Art. justira is my partner here; we have, quite hilariously, pledged to draw a thing a day. For Ira, those things may be recognizable as art; for me, I reserve the right to draw a shit doodle with my finger on my iPhone, as long as it is a drawing of some sort. They'll be posted right here at the Feymarch Library where most of my art shame lives.

Home. Of course I have big statements to make about the first floor remodel I want to do, but honestly this is about habits, so my 2017 goal is to declutter my life. Every day I will do at least 1 chore dedicated to decluttering my home8 or otherwise making my life easier (cooking a big meal for the week, etc).

Mental. A few mantras I am focusing on:

Allow hobbies to be chores. This sounds counter-intuitive, but last year I got away from a lot of hobbies I love because I had "so much other shit to do" that was more important in my mind. This year, writing, art, knitting, gaming, reading; these are allowed to be chores I can give priority to. It's okay to write if I still have dishes to do.

Recharge your battery. If I have a night where I am truly in too much pain to do anything, I need to stop whining and griping about that, and instead focus on my own comfort and recovery, because self-care is allowed to be a priority, also.

Ground myself. I'm not a nice person by default9 so making a pledge to share the love or be kinder doesn't really mean anything to me; but I believe I can eliminate some of the negative energy by grounding myself more and letting it just pass on into the neutral environment rather than building up a static charge.

Be more of who you are. I lost my way at work somewhat this year faced with a gigantic new challenge with no lessening of my previous responsibilities, interpersonal conflicts, and some sporadic and questionable criticism. Moving forward I need to remember who the fuck I am and be that lady as hard as possible, because that's where I am awesomest.

Allow myself to unplug. I don't have to be tied to my phone - not just for work, but texting with friends or playing stamina games. I can leave it in the corner and just be for an evening.

Work. I need to focus on managing more: I am a manager, not a contributor, and I need to focus more on leading and guiding people in big-picture ways towards improvement. Too many people list me as a project leader or member, when I should not be a worker on anyone's project - and this is what makes my job so unmanageable. It isn't just me letting go; I need to make it clear to others that there should be more than one person who knows how to do the things I do.

Family & Friends.

See my nieces at least once a month. See my parents at least once a quarter.

Continue to work with my partner on this great relationship we have developed. Learn to ask him for help more, and learn where his boundaries are for asking help. Show love and appreciation better. Develop a good schedule for spending more time together - we are both very obviously happier and healthier when we do.

Try to visit someone or travel at least once a quarter -- traveling is really costly to me in terms of energy, but I have broken through some of my traveling-and-health fears last year (Japan!) so it would be cool to travel a bit with friends when the opportunity is there.

Stay in touch: post, email, text. Reach out in new areas.

Seven is my lucky number. That's 2017.

1 (mind palace?? nothing so fancy; my brain is a four-dimensional fully-formulated spreadsheet archive with tabs, complete with charts, graphs, and little programs that sort by categories and make a smiley face out of pixels.)

2 the first, about my fucking furnace; the second, about my fucking supervisor. stay tuned for more great literature on what makes my life a goddamned shitshow shitcom!

3 because I want to quantify it and report on things, see, like the project manager i am

4 Now, the reason I am not dead is because there is also some restless sleep in there, but the problem is twofold: (a) i only get 4.5 fucking hours of the good sleep (b) the good sleep comes in 30-45 minute spurts which is nowhere near what's needed for mental recovery (c) for fibromyalgia one of the most productive and healing things you can do is get REM sleep.

5 lolololoLLOLOLOLLOOLLOOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL

6 lots of family history of pre-diabetes; I've already noticed my hypoglycemia and blood sugar problems are getting worse. I realize this isn't always correlated to weight but as there is some data pointing that way (scientific as well as family), I want to be sure to avoid it, because dude if you stack fuckin diabetes on top of this stack of medical bullshit I may just ravine myself

7 since women's sizes can never make up their damn minds

8 on bad days this might actually be something like "put dishes in dishwasher" but let's face it sometimes even that doesn't happen

9 nothing against anyone, I'm just kind of sociopathic and hate people in general; i've learnt to "play nice" and I can and do feel love for specific people, but i'm really just not friendly

comments Comment? http://ift.tt/2ixhKTU

[syn4k]

No, it's Wednesday.

u guys will watch anything wtf is wednesday

[awesome-taylor-hoogerdyk]

American Horror Story Coven A lovable Shit Show

Warning this review contains spoilers for American Horror Story Coven, but it came out in 2013, so if you have not seen it that is on you!  

Glee creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk bring us a new season of the T.V anthology American Horror Story. The new season comes off the high heels of American Horror Story Asylum. Coven introduces us to entirely new on slot of characters with some returning actors such as Sarah Paulson. Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Taissa Farmiga, , Frances Conroy, Lily Rabe, Denis O’Hare,  Jamie Brewer, Alexandra Breckenridge, and Robin Bartlett. New members to the cast this season are Emma Roberts and Kathy Bates.

Description

The Story of American horror story Coven takes place after the young Zoe Bensons (played by Taissa Farmiga) discovered that she was a witch. This was discovered after an Incident where her boyfriend has hemorrhage while they were having sex. After the incident Zoe’s parents sent her to Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry oops , I mean Miss Robichaux’s Academy in New Orleans. Genre: comedy, horror and drama

Story/Plot

The storyline is a consistent problem in American Horror Story it is not just in the Coven season but with previous seasons as well. In American Horror Story it always feels as if they present a good premise and an amazing first episode but somehow it gets lost in the rest of the season. This is what I like to call the Steven Moffat effect (co-director of Sherlock and director of Doctor Who). Steven Moffat can direct excellent standalone episodes but never trust him with a full season as it progressively goes downhill. The reason I say they coven suffers from the Steven Moffat effect is that there are too many subplots and contradicting storylines contained in the overall story causing the main focus to get lost.  

(Warning this part contains spoilers.) American horror story presents is that the supreme is supposed to have glowing radiance and a clean bill of health. When Cordelia is revealed the supreme in the last episode, they contradict this rule, as Cordelia was revealed earlier to be infertile. This idea to me does not sound like glowing radiance or a clean bill of health.

Characters

There are quite a few characters in this season of American horror story so I will be focusing on some of the good and some of the bad.

The Good

Misty Day (Lily Rabe) Lily Rabes character although appearing very few times caught my heart. Misty Day was just an enjoyable character to watch. She was a witch to the end and she enjoyed gardening and loved wildlife so much that she brings back to life two alligators to kill a couple of poachers. I think that misty day brings out the swamp hippie inn use all. Plus she by fair had the best natural ability by fair the power of rejuvenation. In short misty day in a swamp hippie just singing her heart out to some Stevie Nicks and she caught all are harts with it.

Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) was one of the best in American Horror Story, she was the primary caretaker for Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) when she was younger and later does everything she can for Cordelia when she loses her sight. Myrtle Snow show compassion and empathy for the young witches at the academy. Let’s not forget the rivalry between herself and Fiona (Jessica Lange) Myrtle was never afraid to call Fiona out on her shit even after she was burned at the stake.  I respect her for that all these traits make her one of the best characters in American Horror Story.

The Bad

Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) Angela Bassett played one of the antagonists in this season of American horror story. With Angela’s character Marie Laveau, it presents us with an idea of a rivalry between witches and the voodoo practitioners. The show expects us to accept the idea of a rivalry between the two groups but there is nothing to support the idea whether it is the past or the present.  Marie Laveau was a real-life voodoo queen in New Orleans she owned a hair salon on the side for the upper class. She practiced black magic one the side but one thing that American Horror Story got wrong was the fact that Marie was a healer.  Marie would nurse those who were sick back to health and would post bail for free women of colour.  People visit her grave to this day and give her gifts in hopes for her to grant their wishes so seeing her as an immortal villain gives me a sour taste in my mouth.

Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) Kathy Bates Character Delphine Lalaurie is a horrible gruesome serial killer of her black slaves. Let’s not forget racist, but during her time in the modern age she grows to have quite a close bond with Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) a young African American girl who was in the Coven. Later Marie Laveau does a complete one-eighty and continues in her gruesome behavior while being in the Coven. Honestly, Kathy Bates’s character only offers slave torture “porn” and could be completely taken out. Nothing would really change in the story, the only real story changing plot her character offers is the fact that she was cursed by Marie. Delphine was cursed due to what she had done to Marie’s husband.  I mean if your husband had been tortured and turned in a type of Minotaur you would probably be mad too, but even Marie has another connection to the story through her rivalry with the coven.

What American Horror Story has done?

There is no semblance of a doubt in my mind that American Horror Story brought to light a dead genre. Before American horror Story no one was talking about horror television and no T.V shows were coming out under the horror Cata-Gory. Once American Horror story gained popularity you started seeing way more T.V marked as horror, true crime and even mystery with stories like Hannibal the reimagining of Alfred Hitchcock’s psycho with Bates Hotel and the Netflix original Hemlock grove all of these show had come out in 2013 After American horror story gained popularity. I am Glad that American horror story gained the popularity it did as it resurged a dead genre and a genre that is dear to me and maybe with more competition American Horror Stories writing will improve.

Did I enjoy Coven

Coven is by far my favorite season of American horror Story, that isn’t saying much as I haven’t finished Season Two and season one left me confused and disappointed.  I enjoyed the beginning of this season, as witches are my favorite supernatural creature.  Coven’s witches had interesting powers and a more interesting potential ways of being taught magic. The cinematography In American horror story is all done on film instead, of digital film.  The effects are done on set, an example of this would be that in episode one titled Bitchcraft, Michael Goi (cinematographer) shot on 16mm black and white film with heavy diffusion filters and a hand-crank, camera as to give the footage the feel of a news real.  This allowed American horror story a defined aesthetic, I appreciate all the hard work that Michael Goi does as it gives his work an authentic feel. But with all the story treads that they put out there and never finish as this is a consistent issue with American Horror story. One I can’t overlook as it affects my enjoyment as a viewer. If I was to give Coven a rating out of ten it would be a 5.5/10 a mediocre show all the way through.