#bitch be foreshadowing everything

[imaginarianisms]

more asoiaf comparisons, parallels & antiparallels to the first dance of the dragons vs the second & final dance of the dragons (& possibly the sixth blackfyre rebellion): the blacks being daenerys i targaryen's supporters, the golds being aegon vi targaryen's supporters, tommen baratheon being a close equivalent to gaemon palehair & his mother essie & sylvenna sand which may be interpreted as a parallel with queen cersei lannister & taena merryweather of myr, trystane truefyre being a close equivalent to aegon/young griff & perkin being jon connington & the shepherd being the new high septon the high sparrow, dalton greyjoy being euron i greyjoy's ancestor & the latter surpassing him, alyn waters later alyn velaryon resembling aurane waters later aurane velaryon & finishing what their ancestors started. history repeats itself.

[ellie-ramune]

You cannot fucking do this to me mihoyo

[orcelito]

Ok but 2nd playthrough of royal is so different than 1st bc in 1st I was like "oh that's my cool friend therapist maruki. Yea he's not really a great therapist, but he's trying his best to do good! I know he ends up an antagonist, but for rn I'm just appreciating my friend 😌"

And now anytime he opens his mouth I just want to drop kick him. I want to knee him in the nuts For Real. Like leave me tf alone lmao

[lord-shitbox]

no amount of thanks for it in the fucking world is worth the shit im going through

[cordeliawhohung]

i was wondering if i might be able to put in a request, if possible? simon riley mafia/guard dog vibes? i can absolutely expand with more ideas on that too if you’d like but just overall those vibes are amazing and your mafia works are immaculate ♡ ♡ ♡

sorry this took forever work was killing me lmao. but vibes are perfect! gives me a bit more freedom in writing. hope you enjoy (and thanks for getting me to write more mafia!au stuff lmfao) (:

mafia!141 masterlist

cw: violence, simon beats the fuck outta someone, crude comments, slight in limbo spoilers/foreshadowing but only if you squint? terrible cliches but oh well

It wasn't your first time seeing the glint of a knife in dark light, but it was your first time having a blade brandished at you in a threat.

Really, this was all your fault. Innocent intentions of wanting to bring your boyfriend some takeout from work was what got you caught in that mess, and had you been better at following instructions you would have been inside. Instead, you botched the directions to the VIP section the bouncer up front had given you, leading you into a trap straight out of a horror movie.

You had hardly gotten the chance to round the corner before this man, some wanna-be mugger, slapped your to-go box out of your hand. Still warm and fresh steak, along with a ridiculous amount of chips, flopped out of the container and onto the ground just as you felt your back collide with the wall next to you. Brick wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing to have shoved against your spine, but it certainly beat the wicked curve of the knife that was used to threaten you.

Everything in you urged you to run away, to scream, to fight, to do something, and yet all you could do was stand there like a deer in headlights. The only thing you could focus on was the man's eyes, and how he glared at you so sharply you were certain he could kill you with his gaze alone. He pointed the knife closer to you with his other hand outstretched, waiting for it to be filled.

"Are you fucking deaf?" the man snarled. "I told you to hand over your shit."

Those were the first words that fully registered in your brain, and you couldn't get your voice to cooperate. Your hands raised in an attempt to put some more distance between you and your assailant, yet that seemed to do nothing but only aggravate him further.

"Do you think I'm fucking around? I'll kill you and take it off your damn body if that's what you want," he urged further.

"I don't... I don't have anything."

Those were the first words you were able to stutter out, and you hated that it was the truth. There was nothing on you worth taking; no cash or card, not even any expensive jewelry. Worst of all, you didn't feel scared. A terrible numbness settled over you as your eyes stayed locked onto the blade that threatened to embed itself into your body, and all you could think about was that you hoped it didn't hurt when you died.

"You bitch, don't fucking lie to me. I don't have time to-"

That wretched man never got the chance to finish his words before a metal clinking cut him off, followed quickly by a crunch. The pure silence that followed was then interrupted by a piercing, guttural scream, and it was only then that your mind was able to make sense of the events that took place in front of you.

Simon, your big, beautiful bastard of a boyfriend, found you. How, you weren't quite sure, but you were thankful nonetheless. Most of what took place happened too fast for your brain to fully comprehend it, but you were able to figure out that the knife was no longer in the mans hands, and in fact, his hand no long seemed fit to hold anything at all. Several of his fingers twisted inhumanly, sitting at awkward angles that you knew no fingers could naturally position themselves. He gripped his wrist with his uninjured hand as if he could choke off the pain, but all he could do was sniffle and grovel.

"Watch your choice of words when you're talkin' to her, yeah?" Simon warned.

His huge frame slipped behind the man as he grabbed a hold of the back of his neck where he pushed him to the ground. His knees collided with the cement ground with a sound so sickening you could nearly feel the pain he felt. Even then, Simon didn't let the mugger off easy. His hand slipped into the mans short hair where he yanked his head back, forcing him to look up at you.

"Apologize," Simon demanded.

For a moment, the man couldn't get any words out. It was as if your positions had switched too violently for him to get his brain to work properly, but after a not-so-gentle nudge from Simon, his thoughts seemed to sort themselves. He sniffled as pained tears welled in his eyes, and you hated yourself for almost feeling bad for him.

"I'm sorry," the man sputtered out.

Despite the pain in his voice, it wasn't enough for Simon.

"Sorry for what?" he urged, grip in his hair only growing more forceful.

"Sorry for... for hurting you, I'm sorry," he winced.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are," Simon grumbled.

With a final shove, the man fell forward onto his good hand, nearly missing the now ruined steak and chips that was supposed to be Simon's dinner that night.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Simon urged, bringing your attention away from the crumpled mess of a man in front of you. "Let's clean up."

You didn't start crying until you realized Simon had been hurt. With clothes darker than night itself, his blood had blended all too well into his shirt, obscuring the cut he had gotten on his side. The only thing that had calmed you down was him bringing you into a private bathroom and letting you sit on the counter as he cleaned himself up. Seeing him hurt wasn't something you ever wanted to witness. Really, you never thought a man like Simon Riley could get hurt. Yet seeing the minor cut he had gotten compared to the major wound you would have endured was enough to quell your worries and halt your tears.

"How did you know where I was?" you asked.

Your legs didn't quite reach the floor as the counter was higher than most average bathrooms. You swung your feet as you watched Simon clean his cut with careful eyes. It wasn't deep, thank goodness, though it took him more gauze than imagined to stop the blood flow.

"One of the guys called up saying you were headed through the VIP entrance, and I came down to meet you. When I realized you weren't there, I knew somethin' was wrong. Besides, the cunt's demands weren't quiet," he explained.

Any other time, you would have been flustered being in such a situation with Simon. Behind closed doors in a bathroom of a club together would have already been nerve wracking enough, and the fact he had shredded his shirt was cause for you to be more abashed. But in that moment, you couldn't help but be eternally grateful he had been there, even if he had shattered a man's hand over it.

"I see why John has you hired as a bouncer," you admitted humorously. "I've never seen anyone... dispatch another person like that."

Simon's dark eyes flickered up to you as he finished bandaging his wound, and he moved to the sink to quickly clean his hands of the blood. Once he was clean, he moved in front of you where he stood between your legs, though not at all sexually. His hands came to rest against your side where he gave you a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

"I'd do anythin' for you," he said.

You wanted to explode into monologue. Wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be so willing to do things for you, even if he was capable of it. There were a million reasons why you didn't deserve him, why he shouldn't try and protect someone already damned, yet you couldn't get yourself to speak them.

Noting your silence, Simon pressed a caring kiss against your forehead before pulling away and snatching his ruined shirt off the counter.

"C'mon," Simon urged as he put the soiled clothing on.

Intrigued, you hopped off the counter. "Where are we going."

"To get dinner," he replied. "Bastard ruined my meal, and your night. Figured we could make somthin' back at my place."

The smallest of smiles graced your lips as Simon straightened himself out in the mirror, and when he looked at you again, he nearly smiled, too. You quickly wiped at your eyes as you silently prayed they weren't too swollen, and then with some sort of bravery you didn't know you had, you reached for the sleeve of his shirt with a quiet chuckle.

"I'd like that."

[fipindustries]

some comments on my second read of the locked tomb trilogy.

*it truly cant be said that you have actually read these books until youve read them twice. suddenly the whole experience is much more seamless, so many things make much more sense. now you can actually follow along what the hell is going on and appreciatte the characters for who they are.

*cytherea really did dulcinea dirty. i didnt notice the first time around but now on a re-read i can see how she played her as this hapless, subtly bitter, seductive nimphette. a picturesque wasting waif who all she can do is philosophise about how unfair her life is. and then you go to the second book and you see how proactive, mischevious and likeable in an honest way the real dulcinea is and you realize cythereas was being either lazy or kind of a bitch

*john comes off as so much more clearly an asshole in everything he says and does. specially in the fact that he obviously goes to great lengths not to admit to himself that he is an asshole.

*there are SO MANY fucking nods and clues and foreshadows of what is going to happen in the following books that its ridiculous, gideon talks about doing friendship bracelets in book one

*going slower through gideon's and ianthe's interaction in book two you can see much more clearly how they would end up as genuine friends by the end of book three. yeah they are squabbling but they are clearly having so much fun even though they wont admit it. gideon genuenly appreciates ianthe's jokes at least twice and they actually form a little bit of a bond shittalking other people and commiscerating over the fact that harrow is not interested in them romantically. i think guideon is impressed that ianthe is not just a snob or a prissy princess or a nerd and that she actually has a sense of humor that is actually very similar to hers and a genuine grit and willingness to get her hands dirty. but also is fucking hilarious that ianthe was actually fucking with harrow when she acted like she couldnt see the bodies harrow was seeing

*i can also see much more clearly how ianthe was kind of justified in saving john, yes a bit part of the equation was her wanting power and being in good standing with the god emperor but also i think she was genuenly concerned when mercy "killed" john and they told her that the entire dominicus system was about to die because of that. i think ianthe is not an idiot and she is capable of thinking longer term than we think.

*this time around i could actually follow the absolute batshit insane mess that was john and alecto and mercy and gideon 1 and pyrrah and guideon 2 that ends with "harrow" having guideon's eyes that were actually alecto's that were actually john. jesus.

[loventian]

Touchstarved character name meanings!

Lemme preface this by saying I’m not a name meanings expert I just love crawling through google pages and over analyzing things ALSO to make sure the results weren’t influenced by fandom everything here is from pre-2020! With that let’s get into things!

Mhin:

Mhin is a little bit tricky, as I can’t find anything for their name spelled as it is. Min, however, has several different sources and meanings.

In Chinese, Min (敏) meanings “quick, clever, sharp” Which seems rather fitting for our neighborhood soulless hunter. An alternative script for Min (民) translates to “people, citizens” which could have some interesting implications, as Mhin is implied to have strong connections to the city of Lovent.

In Burmese Min means “king, ruler” which, connected with the second Chinese translation, could perhaps be some foreshadowing? We don’t know how Mhin is connected to Lovent, but the city must have had a ruling class, perhaps Mhin held a position of power? It could also be why they survived, and which a powerful curse nonetheless

Finally, in Irish Min is said to mean “smooth, fine, small”, though I can’t find as many sources on this one. I include it because people have pointed out Mhin’s cloak pins are triquetra, which are Celtic symbols.

Kuras:

Please know I adore Kuras when I say this, but he really got the short end of the naming stick it seems. The most promising thing I can find is the usage as a Hindi surname, which doesn’t seem to have a meaning listed. If you remove the S and go with Kura, it can mean “river” in Turkish or possibly “fierceness, tiger” in Japanese.

Now here’s the silly translations! In Arabic, Kuras (كراس) seems to translate to brochure. In polish, it translates to chicken.

I truly doubt the devs thought brochure/chicken were good labels for the dear doctor, so I’m favoring the Turkish translation. Mostly because Eridia is a city divided by a river; could there be something deeper hidden in there? Maybe!

Ais:

So clearly Ais has a lot of Japanese influence, with his design being inspired by Oni, so I looked for those possible translations first. Ai (愛) translates to love in Japanese, and is typically used as a broader term to refer to emotions tied to like compassion, empathy, or platonic forms of love (as opposed to 恋/koi which refers to romantic love).

I’m gonna focus on this translation for a bit. Someone on a translation forum phrased it in a way I really love: “Ai” is something you do or give. Ais is our introduction to the Seaspring, and to groupminds in general. While the concept of a hivemind is usually used in horror as a way of taking away agency, the Seaspring is framed as a refuge for people to turn to. Could Ais’ name be an allusion to a goal he keeps hidden? Is the Seaspring a manifestation of a desire to give love despite the violent world? Or am I just reading into this too deep?

Vere:

Vere actually has a straight up name meaning! Most of the sources I found say that Vere is a French/Gaulish name meaning “Alder”, and it usually pops up in the surname “De Vere”. Alders are a kind of bitch tree, and I have no idea how that tie into Vere as a character.

But if we take “Vere” as a word rather then a name, then Latin translates it as meaning “truly, really, actually, rightly”. Vere’s introduction to us is as someone to not trust, a cunning fox waiting for the next meal, stealing our darn room key and lying about it! So I find it really interesting that his name could be a word for truth. Perhaps before his chains Vere was someone a lot more truthful ?

Leander:

Big shout out to Leander for having a plain ass easy to translate name. I’ll give you googles exact definition here: "lion of a man", from leon, "lion", and andros, "man".

That was easy, so now let’s pick it apart!

Traditionally, lions are symbols of nobility, courage, strength, and protection. Leander has a reputation for being That Guy; he’s a leader, a protector of the masses, etc etc. for all intents and purposes, Leander really is a lion of a man!

…On the surface at least. Because under all the symbolism, lions are still predators, no matter how noble.

[wordbunch]

Time to say a handful of things abt s02 finale!!!

under the cut so you can avoid it! :)

However I am very much looking forward to reading everyones comments opinions feelings etc ♡

Did I expect to cry over the death of freaking king durin in the first 0.3 minutes??? That scene was so incredibly well done and I was like omg am I glad to be witnessing this for the first time🥹😭 yes I'm still pissed I couldn't see LOTR in cinemas cause I was still in freaking diapers

NAAARSILLLLLLLL narsil our beloved, I was squealing, yes OUT LOUD. narsil bbygirl you will always be famous 💅🏻 elendil go slay

I know yall pay him dust but ISILDUR I always love to see him and I love him and theo being the resident trouble brothers duo (its giving merry and pippin but Doomed). Sorry not sorry but yall moved on too fast (I DIDNT!) from the fact he feels guilty for his moms death. pls i am HUGGING HIM! his doe eyes I am deceased. pls I just want to stare at his face for eternity. MY PERSONAL HEADCANON WAS CONFIRMED 😩💦 that boy kisses like he is STARVEDDDD

[Redacted thoughts here]

Stranger yes we knew he was gonna be gandalf but. I love a name drop. I love Tom and I love choosing friendship over power and I love the staff and I love everything . They're giving me my childhood dreamlike feeling and I am so grateful I get to see a glimpse of that story 🥹💛

So many SPEECHES foreshadowing SO MANY THINGS. I am obsessed. The absolute cruelty of celebrimbors death and the death of his works....the one SINGLE TEAR on annatars face....dare I say peak p o e t I c cinema.

Where do I even begin with HALADRIEL ✨️✨️✨️ charlie the lord of acting and just like. in his eyes you can see everything and more. I need to write a dissertation on their duel istg

The way he didnt hesitate to absolutely PURR "GALADRRRIEL" every. single. time. [Redacted thoughts]

I WOULD HAVE PLACED A CROWN ON YOUR HEAD.

do you want me to like die?????

I SEE YOU.

yes actually they do want me to die.

HUMAN HALBRAND???

And RIP to me indeed.

[Ultra redacted thoughts]

I audibly WHIMPERED. sweet lord i was like My poor babygirl has to endure this manipulation 😩😩😩😩 he stooped so low and I was so here for it but girl i would have F O L D E D 😔✊🏻

Then galadriel on galadriel violence??? The only thing better than galadriel TWO galadriels actually.

but then.

the elrond and rivendell of it all. rob aramayo has never looked more gorgeous than when he took nenya to heal Gal. WE GET TO SEE HEALER ELROND GROWING INTO HIMSELF WITH OUR OWN EYES!!!! you don't UNDERSTAND i spent 20 YEARS dreaming of rivendell and now I get to see it coming to be!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭💚💚💚💚 the way that you can see gears turning in his head as he takes the ring. the camerawork ate and devoured i fear - with your own eyes you can see him growing. developing. like yes I am feeling more ready to take charge of some things. what if I CAN do it. what if I CAN make so many things and people so much better????

and u will babyboy 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Do i even need to add i had full body chills at the scene of elrond,gil,galadriel and arondir!!!!!!! on the cliff!!!!!!

BITCH THE SUN STILL RISES!!!!! Pity CAN defeat sauron!!! friendship and light DO WIN over darkness!!!! The tolkienism of it all. i will rewatch a hundred times and then some.

[hexedwinchester]

Early seasons of SPN are superior

so I'm re-watching Supernatural (I'm always re-watching SPN, don't mind me) and I realised why the early seasons are so freakin good whereas the laters ones are a complete mess...

Horror was the core theme of Supernatural (yes, I'm not discarding the brothers' drama, I'll get to it in a minute). These beautiful scare tactics that they employed were amazing: the crib mobile toy rotating, shadows moving out of the corner of the eyes, toys going off, subtle bloody Mary reflections in the mirror, creepy skulls dug from the ground, the ghosts flickering. Hell yea they nailed 'Scary just got sexy' with these.

Don't get me started on the background music. Whimsical music crescendo, building up the anticipation. The rock music blaring through the Impala. What happened to the cool ass music in the later seasons? They just played this weird, sad tune like someone's blowing raspberries to show grief and that's it!

Monster of the week theme and the lores/legends in early seasons were much, much better than S12's Foundry or the later season episode with bizarre tentacle porn thingy (you know which one I'm talking about). It just didn't feel the same. The stories were poorly written and even more poorly executed.

Early seasons used to be purely about Sam and Dean (as it should have been throughout) Them against the world, heaven and hell. No dumbass angel lurking in the background like a pathetic third wheel. No king of hell bitching about his sad childhood for two whole seasons. No Soccer mom half assing their way into hunting.

Foreshadowing was done so beautifully! Everytime I re-watch the early seasons I find a few bits that connects to something that happened initially in say S1-2. The parallels are done beautifully and writing is good, and I mean 'I wanna use this quote as a wallpaper' good.

The struggle for the boys was real. They had to do their own research, save their own asses, stitch their wounds, pop their dislocated shoulders back in the place. Later seasons? Bunker has answer to everything, angel healing wounds with a flash of light, Lucifer bringing Sam back from the dead without asking for anything (and no, taking him to Jack is not a good enough bargain), Jack healing wounds or whatever. Where is the damn struggle?! Where is the hero's journey?!

I miss the beautiful, colourful motel rooms that had its own personality. I HATE the bunker (yes I know a lot of people love it because Dean has a good shower, they have a home etc, etc) but no! Bunker is lame and boring and monotonous. There isn't a single thing I like about it. Gimme back my motel rooms with the sunburst mirror!

Story arc or lack thereof from S12 onwards. The main plot just got duller and duller from S12 onward and it felt like the writers got lazy and stopped putting efforts. There was no build up and the plot felt forced. The main arcs didn't feel exciting enough. BMoL and Kelly's pregnancy: the who and why? Jack: predictable. Other Micheal and Micheal Dean: meh, next! God as the big bad: interesting but I don't think they have it in them to execute this correctly.

Irrelevant/Unnecessary characters and their mini plots. S1-5 focuses purely on the brothers and that's what I'm here. I don't care how and why an idiot angel opened purgatory. It sounded more like a dull spin off plot than main story arc. I don't care about prophets and their lives (yeah Kevin is in Advance Placement, what am I to do with that?). I don't care about the different angel garrisons at war (again a plot for a lame spin off). I don't care about Crowley, his son or his relationship with Rowena. Tell me how this affects the boys. If it doesn't, please let's move on. Whatever was going on with Cole Trenton was pointless. I don't care about Mary and her hunting escapades with BMoL. I don't care about Kelly's pregnancy. The multi-universe and all characters they vomited back in the show with this. Not needed! Let Charlie, Gabriel and Bobby's memory rest in peace. Nick's killer storyline and wayward sisters. Enough said. Empty and the deal with Cas and Meg 2.0? Boring! Billy playing the bad cop, the whole death's library? Poorly executed and it turned into a bowl of cold spaghetti. In the end, the focus moved from the boys to useless characters and mini plots. Fuck that! Supernatural is about Sam and Dean and that's about it.

The direction. Later seasons lack the beauty of scenic shots of the landscape, close on up the boys' faces, the lights hitting their faces to show their beauty. Camera angles and slow panning shots. I miss the beauty that were the early seasons.

[sytoran]

𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄 (𝐄𝐗𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍') ⌇ wanda maximoff

summary: in which 'rockin'' is a euphemism for sex.

☰ PAIRING: sub!wanda x dom!gn!reader

☰ TAGS: modern!au, married life, oral sex, cunnilingus, smut, wanda in that mean girls santa outfit, strap-on usage, humiliation kink, degradation kink, breeding kink, daddy kink, overstimulation, safewording

☰ RATING: 18+

masterlist

"honey, i'm home!" you call from the doorstep, recklessly flinging your winter coat onto the back of a chair.

it had been a long day at work, (retail work during the holiday season was a fucking bitch), and you were more than satisfied to go home to your wife.

so when you were greeted with nothing but a faint cry from upstairs from wanda, instant dread filled your bones, damning you to think of the worst possible scenario.

you dropped everything on hand and ran up the stairs three steps at a time, wondering what the hell had happened. did wanda hurt herself? was she crying? was she-

of all the million and one possibilities of imageries painted in your head, not a singular one could've even begun to fathom what wanda was doing.

no, nothing could have prepared you for this.

"baby…" your words trailed off, the sight of wanda sprawled on your bed rendering you speechless.

she was donning that mean girls christmas outfit, the crimson one with the insanely short skirt and low-cut top. the fur outlining the outrageously exposing cuts almost seemed to taunt you.

in further aggregation, wanda was trailing a hand up her leg, from the high-heeled boots that showed off her deliciously exposed thighs. the earlier whimper had been a result of the vibrator she had pressed up against her cunt.

to top it all off, like the cherry on icing, wanda spread her body in a way such that your eyes could feast on all her assets at once - especially her wet pink folds in your direct line of vision.

your jaw slackens. i'm in paradise.

you don't know what kind of miracle this is, that you've been blessed with the most breathtakingly divine woman to ever grace the earth, but you're certainly not complaining.

"daddy," wanda whispers in tone that is as honeyed as is sultry. wisps of red hair cling to her forehead, almost as if foreshadowing the what-ifs.

"merry christmas."

and then you pounce on wanda, quite literally, making her squeal.

your hands are everywhere, squeezing at her breasts and her ass, digging into the plush of her thighs and plucking at her nipples through the fabric. it's everything you could have ever wanted, and you're damn sure you aren't going to put this opportunity to waste.

"take - ah! - fuck, t-take - oh! - take it off," wanda gasps, nearly incoherent with how fucking rough you're being.

your hands are unashamedly explorative, and the redhead nearly comes undone with how fucking possesive you're being. you're pushing her into the bed but pulling her closer, until all she can feel are your hands on her skin.

"no, i wanna fuck you in that," you growl against her flushed skin. "wanna fill you up so bad."

wanda lets out a needy moan at your demandingness. your voice is hoarse, throat having run dry long ago. you finally bring yourself to pull back, but before wanda can complain, you've flipped her around.

her legs hit the floor with an unceremonious thud, high heels clacking against concrete tiling. using a hand to push her front against the bed, effectively bending her over, you groan in pleasure.

wanda is so perfectly spread out for you, so pliant and so submissive and so needy, and you're hungry. you could fucking devour her.

"are you packing, daddy?" wanda breathes out, turning to look at you with an innocent look.

wanda's question goes unanswered, because you've already unbuckled your pants, and the thick strawberry-red and quartz-white, candy cane coloured strap gets buried in her cunt from behind, before wanda could even register what was going on.

in the first thrust alone, the strap went hilt-deep, because of how wet wanda was. the scream she let out was earth-shattering, for she had already reached her climax, with help from the vibrator earlier.

"you're a fuckin' whore, mhm? couldn't even wait for daddy's instructions." you comment against the back of her ear, warm breath leaving goosebumps in its wake.

your eerie calmness scares wanda, in the most arousing way known to man. you're trailing your hands over her thighs. wanda's panting, trying to rock her hips back for you to stay inside.

with haste, you harshly slap her on the side of her bare thigh, reveling in the way her entire body shakes in that little santa outfit. wanda mewls, crying out in pain and pleasure.

you tug at her hair, so easy to pull, just because you can. forcing wanda to look at you, you say, "that's one."

wanda keens for your touch, visibly confused at your words.

you smile a mean smile, almost snake-like in the way it curves at the edges, the running a tongue over your lips in anticipation.

"how many days of christmas are there, baby?" you murmur, littering hickeys over the pale skin of her neck.

"t-twelve!" wanda gasps, a jolt of arousal flowing south when your tongue finds her pulse point.

"how many times am i gonna make you cum?" you question, barely over a whisper, hovering over her lithe body. she's so little in your hands, so easy to pin down, so easy to please.

you fuckin' like that.

wanda only manages to splutter, grasping at the fabric of your clothing in search of comfort once she realizes your ploy. "i- i can't, daddy. too much, it's too much-"

"mhm, but you can do it 'cause you're my good girl," you respond with ease, taking the opportunity to flip over her hand and place a chaste kiss on her knuckles. "and you're gonna count after each one."

wanda tries to argue again, but her body is saying otherwise. she's dripping down her thighs, slick coating her fluttering folds. almost as if on cue, she raises her ass up slightly higher.

you can only smirk in response, running both hands over the expanse of her thick thighs. "pretty little slut," you mutter, watching with a hawk-eye as her thighs clench with need.

"inside," wanda whimpers, trying to grasp for you, abd you quite nearly lose your goddamn mind.

with a vigour of all energies exerted, you begin thrusting into her like it's the last thing you'll ever do. with the added height of her high boots, it means that you don't need to bend your knees down to do it properly.

and it also means that you fuckin' pound into her however you like.

which is precisely what you're doing, as wanda's moans digress into screams. the way she's whining out the numbers each time she convulses and reaches her high is intoxicating.

two. three. four.

"so big," wanda whines with slurred words, drooling onto the pillow. "m' so full."

it only spurs you on to drive the girth of the candy-cane strap deeper inside her pussy. the way you're moving it in tight circles makes wanda think you're trying to ruin her insides.

"so tight and wet for me, doll," you grunt. "bet you'd let me fuck you 'til all our neighbours know, mhm? what're you gonna say to them when you can't move your legs?"

it's not like she would complain, anyway.

it's embarassing, how fucking wet she is, even after having cum four times. she's still soaked, drenching your strap and her thighs, dripping onto the floor.

but you couldn't give any less fucks, the only thing on your mind being the fact that you wanted to break her. ruin her, 'til she was unable to speak, to move, to think.

flipping wanda over again, you bask at the view you've been blessed with. ample breasts and smooth skin, all wrapped up in a little tiny santa outfit. she's laying on her back, almost bashful at how greedy your eyes are.

before wanda could even think to close her legs, you pried them even farther open with a cocky ease that sent another wave of slick down her thighs.

and then you were burying your head between her thighs, warm and wet sensations simulating her oversensitive cunt. all you had to was grunt about how fucking needy she was, and wanda was gone again.

five. six. seven.

dear god, wanda tasted better than any dessert you'd ever had.

you were insatiable, lapping and sucking like a demon starved of innocent souls. but your desires couldn't quell, not when wanda fucking maximoff was at your mercy.

the crescendo of your wife's screams of sweet sufferings had your head spinning. she was crying, the tears streaming each time you brought her over the edge. her wails of hot-white pleasure had you keening for more.

"you gonna cum again, doll? already?" you teased through heavy pants, sharp breaths for air brushing against wanda'a clit.

when you received no response, you probed her with a harsh slap on her ass, confirmative in forming a bruise.

that in itself had wanda streaking powder-white cream all over you, the world stuttering on its axis. "ei - ah, fuck - e-eight," wanda whined, words slurring with drool. even in that state, she was divine.

just as about you were to slam the strap into your wife again, she cried out her safeword, "vision!", with the remains of her stamina. you slipped out of that headspace almost instantly, moving up to comfort your wife.

the time stills for a moment. wanda's erratic breathing gradually steadies. you let your eyelids flutter shut.

"sorry, baby," you whisper into her ear, littering gentle kisses over her neck. "too much?"

wanda merely smiles at you through droopy lids. "you have a lot of stamina. maybe i need to go boxing with you and bucky."

a chortle escapes your lips as you nuzzle into wanda's chest like it's your personal pillow, basking in the feeling of the rise and fall. wanda sleepily reaches up to touch your hair, and she lets out a shaky sigh.

it's a picturesque scene, with intimacy so tender you want to frame this moment in time before it flees away like everything eventually does.

however, if loving paid a price, you'd go into debt for wanda maximoff.

---

"i can't feel my legs, detka," wanda says aloud after a while. "i have work tomorrow."

"oh. i would say sorry for what i did, but i'd be lying."

thanks for taking the time to read :) reblog if u enjoyed!

masterlist

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SEMI FINALS

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

Marvin propaganda:

this bitch is crazy you can't trust a thing she says!!!! but um seriously he is neurotic and while recounting his childhood everything is wack and doesn't make sense and ummm. Idk the man lies he withholds information (such as names of main characters he deems unworthy or important details) he makes he presents his fantasies like actual canon events (how marvin eats his breakfast, rape of ms goldberg) he tries to convince himself and therefore us that he's straight ummm he's just a little freak and an attention whore and a liar and a fugly slut and i love him. Heart

[cokoweee]

OH wow! Two updates in 24 hours! Okay I really wanted to dig into this, because there were so many things on just the writing and dialogue and I LOVE it!

These two panels were fun, because there is something soft in Kendra’s face. Nostalgia, affection…also the wet beads of water coming off her hair, since she climbed out of the bath….but I’ll continue this rant later…

This is interesting….We have seen Donnie borderline catatonic so this could be Draxum’s latent parental instincts not wanting to push Donnie just yet. (Or worried that Kendra might be a trigger?)

Though funny that this was what pushed Casey to reach out….I included a snippet from Replica…but…lol both you and Kat having Casey very particular about her male family members helping her out, is understandable

Heh…that’s rich, considering you are gonna have your own lizard children Kendra…not that you know that, I guess… Still this feels like a “tempting fate” line/foreshadowing. Mostly, because Casey insisted that the father is human. (I think?) But likely a jab at how Kendra calls her “Beast” all the time.

Ohhh…what is this trinket?! <_<

This is the face of someone who is either gonna pretend to be a toy or a child if Kendra gets pulled over XD

Okay this brings me back to my thoughts after the first image…Kendra likely had been thinking about stuff since her initial talk while fixing Yuichi’s arm the first time. However the “event” and Raph’s chat with her possibly had her start really mulling over it. We know Kendra has been struggling with her identity in the way of not belonging. She accepted she was an outcast…and possibly still considers herself an outcast. However with everything she has been doing: the training, modifying the jetpack, upgrading Yuichi’s arm…it certainly is setting this precedence. If Kendra doesn’t fit in this group’s mold by default, she is gonna make some changes so she does.

The past Kendra would never adjust to accommodate others. She is unapologetically herself. So why is she going through the trouble to make little changes…why does she want to properly ask Donnie if she can stay with him? Because when you love someone, you accommodate them. And not in the way, that you should change yourself for someone. However if there are traits that are holding you back, and it benefits you both in the long run, sometimes little changes are necessary. Kendra is changing, because she wants this. She may not know how her dynamic will change, but she wants it to get better.

And…I forget how I planned to wrap this up, but…. It is an organic way to bring happily ever after that much closer, and in a way that doesn’t compromise Kendra’s identity. Again, your writing and dialogue are amazing, and the way you pair it with your drawings makes some great storytelling.

Oof writing is such a struggle but considering I do hours of acting out dialogue both irl and in my head certainly do help. NOW TO ANSWER SOME OF THESE LIL SNIPPETS U SEPERATED but under a cut cause this is a bit long lol

Draxum is a weird dude to write for me but for me he’s another that lost almost his whole fam. He doesn’t wanna risk losing the last one that’s there even if they aren’t how they once were.

CASEY NOT WANTING DRAXUM ALL UP IN HER 🍰 IS A REAL! ITS LIKE UR GRANDPA/DAD/UNCLE SAYING THEYLL DO IT FOR YOU

That lil TrInkEt will be helpful later :D (I think. Please I haven’t fully thought this plan through)

You point out that she never would accommodate for someone else and yuh you’re right. Bitch would make others accommodate to her. This tho

“Because when you love someone, you accommodate them”

Idk how to word this, it’s pretty difficult to conjure up in my head words for this. For her it’s. She can’t see those feelings. Define them. It’s a case of extra caring without knowing why and it’s irritating. Like a fly u can’t kill. Or a butterfly. Pretty and you don’t want it to leave but also don’t want that big bitch flying all up in your face

[neoarchipelago]

Madripoor High (Part 1)

A/N: ok so hum... First part of something new... I have no idea for a title so please throw some ideas in the comments... Yes i have added a little hint of marvel but it is not in the marvel universe! I just love Madripoor. I kinda have the tittle 'Madripoor High' in mind but I'm not sure... Don't even know if I'll keep this going just... Let me know in the comments. Also edited this on my phone... Kinda sucky, I'll put it back correctly if I do keep it going.

Warnings: sexual talk, weapons etc.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Cars passing by and people walking to their destinations. The busy city boomed around you, muffled by the headphones on your head. Your music blocked the chaos of London. You enjoyed London. You found it beautiful. Amongst all the countries you've been to… and that list was quite long, you enjoyed the weather. Exactly. The gloomy, rainy weather. The black umbrella shielding you from the crystal droplets as you walked to a small cafe. You were greeted as you entered, dropping your shield at the entrance before taking place at a table in a corner far from others.

Your coat was removed, your backpack opened to free your laptop. The nice waitress walked to you after several minutes, asking for your order.

"I'd like a hazelnut cappuccino and… the crumble please" you answered with a smile.

As she walked away you looked around, the almost empty cafe was quiet, the few people chatting or working. You smirked, turning to your laptop you went to check for your payment. You smiled as you watched the enormous figure in your credit account. Yes. Credit. Because in the underground, money is important, but credits… Those are so much more valuable. The Madripoor currency.

Sighing, you let yourself lean back on the sofa chair, crossing your arms. You were proud. After everything you've gone through, you have managed to become one of the most prized citizens of Madripoor. The hard work you've put in has paid off, the contracts have piled up, the price tag always climbing up. Your speciality? Tracking. To get into details, it was hacking. Now you mostly used it to track down targets for big mean people who always have something against another big mean one. You were good. You were the fucking best. So yes. You were proud, even if you had no one to be proud of you.

Cup placed in front of you, you were taken out of your daydream. You smiled up, thanking the waitress, closing your laptop and pushing it to the side to bring your little treats closer to you. Contract over, now you were free until you accepted the next one. It would fall quite fast, yes, but you thought you might get some rest. Go back to Madripoor, to Hightown, and rest.

You took a bite of the crumble, feeling the sweetness of it making you relax. You thought you might go shopping once you'd got back. Maybe you'd stay in and play, watch some movies. Maybe you'd go to Downtown…

A soft buzz captured your attention. You grabbed your phone, looking at the screen. Someone was calling. No one called. Very few… barely anyone had this number. It was used for emergencies only and it had been a year and half since it rang. You frowned. It foreshadowed something entirely different than a break. You sighed. Curiosity eating at you. Before it was too late you answered.

"Hello?"

"Tracker."

You frowned. A woman's voice. A woman who knew your screen name. Only people from Madripoor knew it. Or people extremely close to Madripoor.

"Be quick." You said.

"You were never patient muñeca."

Muñeca. Doll. In Spanish. You sighed, closing your eyes.

"Valeria, you fucking bitch, I thought you were in jail."

"I was. I got out. Then that cabron de Alejandro trapped me."

You smirked. Alejandro. You haven't met the man, but by the amount of times she had complained about him, it's like you knew him already. A little voice was heard behind her, notifying you that she wasn't alone in that call.

"Where are you calling me from?"

"A military base. I need your help."

"No."

"You didn't listen."

"Go on I'm listening."

"We need help to find-"

"No."

She sighed. Helping her? It was already risky. You could. You could get her out and free her but she'd get herself into trouble again. Helping the military? You? Tangled in the deepest roots of criminality? It was the stupidest thing to ask of you.

"Come on. You love a challenge. And I have one just for you."

"It doesn't matter if I love a challenge. You're on high speaker aren't you?"

"Well-"

"Of course you are. They wouldn't let you call anyone without supervision. They know who I am? They know what I do?"

"They do." She said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"So what's going to happen? I help and then what? They got pretty little pink handcuffs for me?"

"Well you can ask the skull face to put them on. Or the ADHD Scot." She answered even more amusedly.

"Valeria… what?" You asked confused.

"Come on. It'll be very interesting. I know you're curious. And this… is like tracking a sin cara."

"A no face?"

Damn. She might succeed to make you interested. But she might be bluffing as well.

"Yes. We need to find Echo."

"Echo? The scientist working for various cartel's and Mafia bosses? The man that no one has ever met or even seen?" You asked, irony dripping from your tongue.

"Are you skeptical?"

"Echo doesn't exist. It's a stupid invention from some idiots to sell products at a higher price. You're wasting my time. Goodbye and good luck Valeria" You rolled your eyes.

"I have proof."

You froze. Proof? Now curiosity prickled your skin. What kind of proof? How did they get it?

"Hello?"

"Shut up. I'm thinking."

She chuckled on the other side.

"We've heard that your work is based on contracts. We'd like to offer you a contract." A voice rang.

The raspy voice was soft but commanding. A man, probably in his 40's. He sounded calm, determined.

"And who might you be?" You asked, taking a sip of your cappuccino who was growing cold.

"I'm Captain John Price."

A captain. Fair enough.

"What kind of contract?"

"You help us, we find Echo, we neutralize him and get Intel. You get immunity on this mission and after your part is done, you have 24 hours to vanish."

You thought about the question. Finding Echo. Might be the golden contract for you. Not that you needed it. But this… this was a challenge. Not the boring easy tracks that you had to do. You knew how even the high table of Madripoor was starting to get annoyed about this intriguing character. Countering rules in Hightown and Downtown. This might be an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. You looked around you, at the calm cafe. Fuck… you might not get that break after all. You closed your eyes, preparing yourself to accept a deal you might regret.

"48 hours. Full immunity from the moment I step into your base until the end of the contract. I do things my way. You get your guy, your Intel. That's it. I'm not getting in the middle of the cartel's and other big brainless gorillas." You stated.

"Fine." You heard after a few pending seconds.

"Alright. I'll think about it." You finished.

"Didn't you just agree?" Another voice rang.

This time it was more… alive. The Scottish accent meant it was one of the men Valeria had mentioned.

"I'll agree when you'll receive the contract. I have to check something before I agree. I'll contact you and travel to you. Don't worry, you'll get an answer in the next few hours." You explained, opening your laptop.

"Should we send you a location? An email?" Another voice again. British accent but cute voice.

"No. I know where you are. I know how to contact you. I'll do so when the time's come."

"How?" The Scottish voice echoed in your ear.

"Oh… she'll have no problem with it." Valeria answered.

"See you soon." You concluded, hanging up.

Entering the base was easy. The new recruits keeping the gates were easily distracted. You infiltrated the base, making sure to deviate the cameras and stealing a 'visitor' badge.

You walked around, white wool shirt, black shorts with tights. Thigh high socks over your tights and comfy running shoes. Your black backpack and phone in hand. Sometimes, the best way to hide is to get attention… especially from men. You'd feel the looks, the way they were directed to your thick thighs, or neck, in plain view as you had pulled your hair back.

You were chubby, not exactly thin, tummy showing and chubby cheeks. At least, that was what was usually romanticized, the thighs, ass and boobs being overly sexualized. You wanted to roll your eyes. But eventually sometimes, men or women easily fall for it.

You took your time to walk around, discovering the grounds, the badge often being watched by what seemed to be higher ups. You'd fain innocence and bat your lashes when getting caught in places you shouldn't be, before letting them turn their backs and walking straight to where you wanted to. You weren't exactly wanting to be hidden right now. You were good at it. Hiding. But right now you wanted to explore.

The contract had been sent, signed and sent. You had gotten a chance to engage with the high table who agreed to such a contract. You didn't really need their approval. But you didn't want your place in Madripoor to be compromised by working with 'the good guys'. Not only did the high table saw no problem in it but they greatly appreciated you going after Echo. You were right, the character was definitely getting on their nerves, the echoes of him creating some ruckus in downtown.

You walked around a huge warehouse, military gear sprawled around. Most were used for training. You heard some noise not too far, deciding to hide behind big wooden shipping boxes. Voices echoed through the big place. You tried not to look too much. If you can see them, they can see you. You'd rather use your other senses to localize them. You only took one glance at two men standing back to you near a table full of items. One was overly talking while the other one rummaged through what seemed to be his gear bag. The man talking had a mohawk. It made you smile. The other one… was obviously wearing something over his head, but with their backs turned to you, you couldn't make out any more details.

The light reflected into the shinny blade of a combat knife. You blinked, almost hypnotized by it. You wanted it. The two men walked away, still babbling. You waited a few minutes before stepping out of your hiding place, going straight for the bag. You opened it, looking through the different things, looking for the pretty black mat combat knife. You almost jumped in place when you found it, taking the thingy with you before skipping back to your little exploration. This time, in a much more concealed way.

You watched, you spied. You wanted to understand how the base worked before letting yourself meet your contractors. Above the training ground, higher up in some kind of level that was used to put away all the training mats and other training things. It was the perfect spot to look over the training grounds, inside of the warehouse. You watched the men fight each other. It was almost entertaining. Your eyes caught the mohawk boy again, teasing another man. The boy with a cap seemed to joyfully indulge in whatever he was saying.

They looked next to them, a big figure stepping into view. You frowned. The man's face was veiled with a mask, a skull… it wasn't printed. Was it a real skull? You put two and two together, now realizing this was the owner of the combat knife. You chuckled to yourself. As he stopped into the training ring, young recruits palling, your interest peaked.

Thirsty minutes passed by in a flash. You watched in amusement and almost in awe how the mountain of a man threw around the soldiers. He was strong. Fast. You could hear him scold every wrong move of the poor soldiers who faced him. He seemed to look around swiftly every time he had a break.

You stretched, feeling your limbs getting sore from sitting here watching the show. You blinked, watching down again, telling yourself that you should get going.

Eyes. Dark eyes. Looking straight at you. Your breath caught in your throat, a cold wave running through you. His gaze was cold looking up through the mask. You immediately rushed back behind something to hide. How? How?! You wore nothing shiny. You made sure that nothing could reflect light. You were hiding perfectly. How?!

You wanted to take another glance but it was too dangerous. You decided to get moving, your position now compromised. You hopped around to reach ground level. You skipped your way into an empty part of the warehouse. You remained as silent as possible, making sure that even your steps were inaudible. After twenty long minutes you allowed yourself to breathe. Maybe he hadn't seen you in the darkness and you were fine. It had been three hours that you were on base, and you were getting slightly hungry. Perhaps you'd get a snack before finally meeting the contractors.

You looked around, trying to figure which way out could lead you to a building where there was food. The empty warehouse only seemed to echo the voices of soldiers outside, barely audible and muffled. You grabbed your phone, walking towards a back door. Maybe you'd get off base to eat and then come back. You were craving pizza, perhaps-

You slammed against a wall. Not exactly a wall. A wall of a man. You looked up. Eyes falling into a skull mask. Shit. Something told you. That playing innocent. Batting your lashes, won't help with this one. You took a step back, his brows furrowing. You both froze for a split second, tension giving you goosebumps before you reacted the only way your brain could at the moment. You ran.

Throughout the warehouse, jumping over gear, boxes and other stuff that you didn't mind to look at. Why were you running? You were supposed to have immunity. But he didn't know who you were. Not yet. The sound of his heavy boots was the only thing you could hear. Shit the man was swift. He was fast and nimble. You parkoured your way to the back door, almost reaching it until you were tackled against a wall. The shock made you wince, cursing out. You were stuck. Stuck in between a wall, and a strong body. Unfortunately you had both run to a dark corner of the warehouse. You could barely see his eyes in the darkness. You were panting.

He shared your gaze. Eyes never leaving yours. The darkness of them made you shiver. It was odd. That tingly feeling all over you. You barely realized how your wrists were pinned above your head, in his large hand. Didn't even notice his other hand… around your throat. He wasn't applying pressure. He was securing you in place, warning you. You were trapped. You have been trapped very often at the beginning of your… career. However, it had never made you feel like this. Small. Hunted. Like a prey under the claws of a predator. There was no ego, no dumb boy trying to prove something. He had chased you down on instinct, caught you in a primal way. Honestly. It was hot. Thrilling.

"Who are you?" His deep voice said.

Shit… even his voice was hot. Putting your new kink aside, you frowned, gaining back some composure.

"Santa Claus." You let out ironically.

The hand around your throat squeezed menacingly. You gasped. He remained silent awaiting your new answer.

"I.. I'm a visitor." You tried, maybe the innocent act would work.

He pulled on your wrists, having you on your toes now. A last warning.

"T..tracker…" you mumbled.

He seemed in thought for a few seconds before releasing the pressure on your neck and wrists, but keeping them in his hold.

"How did you get in?" He questioned.

Ah yes… the usual interrogation.

"The young boys at the entrance are easily distracted…" you mumbled again.

You weren't pissed. You weren't exactly pouting… maybe a bit. You weren't expecting to be caught, or to be put in your place. You weren't expecting to be under someone's hold like this. You looked away.

"You armed?" He asked.

"I have my phone. It's the only weapon I need." You said, keeping the combat knife a little secret. Mostly because you wanted to keep it and he won't let you. He straightened himself, towering over you.

"I'm going to let you go. You better behave." He warned.

God.. you wanted to brat. You wanted to anger him and test him. You rolled your eyes at him, as the hand holding your wrists released. However the other remained on your throat. You frowned looking up at him, as your hands wrapped around his wrist. He stepped closer to you, eyes never leaving yours. Now what was he doing? He said he was letting you go…

Eyes widening, you felt the other hand roam your waist. You tried to push him away but he squeezed at your throat keeping you in place, your hands flying to his chest to fist in shirt. The hand traveled to your sides, down your back, then back to your side to finally reach your thighs.

"S..stop!" You let out, blushing.

"Breathe… I'm checking for weapons." He said in a chuckle.

He frowned, his hand meeting the handle of… shit. The combat knife was tucked into the back of your shorts, hidden by your shirt. You closed your eyes as he pulled it out.

"No weapons huh? You're already-" he stopped looking at the handle. "That's my fucking knife. You stole it?"

"I borrowed it. Sharing is caring right? We're on the same team…" you answered with a smile.

He put away his knife before spinning you around, bringing your back to his chest. How the hell did he move so fast?! How did he manage to pin your wrists behind you… and HANDCUFF YOU?

"Hey! Where's my immunity?" You complained.

"I'm not arresting you."

"You're handcuffing me to satisfy a kink?" You teased him in a bitter tone.

"I'm keeping you from stealing again. And I'm taking you to Price."

"Who?"

No answer, he simply pulled you forward, holding your wrists behind your back. Well. Wasn't this the perfect start to a contract?

[strawberryforks]

better than hemingway // damian wayne x ironrot!reader

summary: you and your boyfriend have WEIRD sleep schedules, your nemesis is a bird, you’re a thief, and this is part one of a new series.

warnings: swearing, blood, violence, criminal activity (idk man, you’re not a good guy)

a/n: reader and damian are 18/19. requests are open <3 feel free to spam

word count: 1174

it’s pitch black in the apartment–all of the lights are off, and you, making your footsteps featherlight have no intentions of turning any of them back on. your boyfriend, who you’re certain is an insomniac is up at all hours of the night and the lightest sleeper you’ve ever met. it’s because of this that you two don’t usually sleep in the same bed. you were friends and roommates before you were anything more so aside from the occasional sleepover and exchange of clothes (damian has less sweaters then he started with, tee shirts too as you love to sleep in them) not much has changed. your room is still decorated with posters, flooring comprised solely of dirty clothes, empty water bottles, pins and stuffed animals, and his is still perfectly organised. you’re opposites and it shows. but in every way it counts? it doesn’t matter a bit. you creep through the hallway with your pastel pink slippers on. they’re fluffy and don’t click against the ground. you step over the creaky floorboards, having memorised them, and make it to the living room. your eyes have adjusted to the dark, so you look around, and when nothing is amiss, nudge the door open.

the bellman has retired for the night, so it’s up to you to let yourself out. and you do. after ducking into an alleyway you put on your suit and fish your phone from your bag before stashing it behind the green bin. “hey dae. esti called and needed me. i’m sleeping over.”

then, you send a text to esti, “hey girl. if damian calls you tell him we’re together. thanks in advance xoxo.”

god only knows why she was awake at 2am, but your phone dings and there’s a response almost immediately. “and if he shows up like last time?”

“spam me and tell him i went to pick something up at our fav 24 hour gas station. i’ll book it there and boom. anyways wth are you awake???”

“was bingeing supernatural. sue me.” (you couldn’t blame her)

“well try to get some sleep sometime. I’ll stop by tomorrow. for real. want anything?”

“would love a new necklace. not too memorable tho.”

“i was thinking icecream but sure. ly.”

you pocket your phone, sticking it into the most secure pocket in your suit. after glancing at the green bin to confirm that nothing’s visible–not your bag or damian’s sweater. your hands find purchase in the crevices between bricks, molten iron helps to stick your fingertips to the wall you scale. then , on the rooftop, the wind picks up. the night air is chilly, perfect foreshadowing for the crime you’re about to commit. no, you’re not going to steal ice cream. that’s tomorrows problem, a cone is only $3, and the woman who runs the shack is the sweetest ever. it’s more tempting to gift her things than to take from her.

you run across the roofs until you reach your destination. then, you lower yourself down to the ground and make quick work of the doorknob. “someone hasn’t been robbed before,” you muse, pins slotting around easily, latch clicking open. shouldering through, a grin splits your face as you look around. everything is dusty and allergies are a bitch, “ACHOO!” your sneeze startles a cat, and the tortie stretches out and walks over to you, angling to be pet. the pet flops down and when it isn’t given the expected attention–hisses and walks away.

after stuffing a few watches, some costume jewellery, a wooden beaded necklace, some first edition books (damian’s birthday was coming up and they would make great gifts so long as no one made a huge deal about them being missing), a map (it looked cool) and just about everything behind the glass wall you broke with a few well places thumps of your fist. finishing up your haul, he arrived.

just in time because what was a night without your nemesis making his incredibly irritating presence known.

robin. fucking robin.

he’s your nemesis. nope, you couldn’t get batman so there’s a teenage boy, nearly as unhinged as you are, tailing you and constantly foiling your plans. (you’re a teenager too, but still, it’s embarrassing) even this heist he interrupts and you weren’t even doing any real damage. this excursion was more for fun than anything and he was here to ruin it. “how many times are we going to have to do this?”

“well, until you give up, obviously, bird boy. and you’re a persistent little shit, so forever, probably?”

“or until i send you to arkham.”

you snort, “good luck with that.”

he unsheathed his sword and lunged. you rolled to the slide, dodging his blade but–the sack slung over your shoulder split, stolen items spilling out. he wasn't trying to cut you–just your score. goddamnit, you could be dense sometimes. robin picked a book up, “you enjoy austen, do you?”

you scoff, eyes wide as you look at his other hand. the other items are all over the ground, some underfoot but he managed to save the books from being damaged. good, because you wanted them for your boyfriend. “better than hemingway,” you throw a ninja star, one you’ve forged yourself, and send it sailing his way. robin sets the books down behind a desk and you take note of their precise location, scooping a handful of discarded loot into your pocket. esti was going to love that necklace. you stuffed it down the front of your suit, sliding across the floor and ducking under another swipe of his sword. something pierced your suit and you winced–it wasn’t even robin, just a fucking splinter of something you’d broken earlier. springing back up, you crafted another ball of iron and threw it his way, the molten liquid glowing orange. when it landed on the wood floor and began to smolder, you had your distraction. you decided to come back for the books later and robin attempted to smother the growing flames. “you should get that checked out,” he said, slapping an old sued jacket over the glowing orange and red. you looked down at your thigh, at the piece of glass sticking out of it. it was larger than you’d thought. “and check myself into the hospital so you can find me? no thanks.”

“or pull it out and die. either works for me” he slams the jacket into the flames again, in an attempt to smother them. as it’s working, you decide to make your leave, sprinting through the door and down the street.

you stop by the alleyway, grab your belongings and actually head to esti’s. she’ll patch you up and you’ve got something to pay her with–the necklace.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Every Rick and Morty episode ranked!

This took me 3 hours and Mircosoft excel was being a bitch but I did it! The ranking is under the cut! I really hope you enjoy! Sorry if my reviews leave some to be desired, this took a VERY long time!

~ F tier, this tier is for episode. I just don't like, they have little to no redeeming qualities and just aren't good. There's very little here since most Rick and Morty episodes are really good! ~

71. Claw and Horder Special Ricktim Morty. Horrible episode with no redeeming qualities. Rick is unlikable. There's no funny jokes, and it's just a really uncomfortable episode overall, F tier.

70. Rickdependence Spray. Very little redeeming qualities. Rick is really the only good thing in this episode, and even then it's just because he wasn't a complete ass to Morty. There's only like…one funny joke and that's it. Also Rick and Morty writers, PLEASE STOP SEXUALIZING A 14-year-old boy. I BEG of you!

69 (heh). Rise of The Numericons: The Movie. Just a really boring episode, it focuses on 2 characters who I don't give a shit about, and it has a forced romanced subplot and just has a very uncomfortable scene.

68. Raising Gazorpazorp. Rick sucks in this episode. He's a sexist asshole, and the sexualization of Morty is really insane. There was one funny joke in the beginning and everything else sucks.

67. A Rickcovient Mort. Romantizing groomers is crazyyyy. The B story is also just overly sexual.

66 & 65. A Rick in King Mortur's Mort & Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation. Lumping these 2 together due to similar problems. Rick is a douchebag, unfunny jokes, and I do NOT like the focus of Morty's…manhood in Rick in King Mortur's Mort.

64. One Crew Crewcoo's over Morty. Rick was an asshole in this episode, and there's not even funny jokes to make up for it like in The Vat of Acid episode, I just feel bad for the poor boy.

~ D tier, these episodes are bad, but have more redeeming qualities than the episodes in the F tier. ~

63. Mortyplicity. There was a sweet moment between two of the decoy familes but that's it.

62. Anatomy Park, just a really boring episode, really it's only redeeming quality is that it can be used for like a biology class but that's it! There's not really anything I spefically dislike about it, it's just kinda boring.

61. Rick Dinner Andre. Eh. This episode was lame. I expect better premires. But at least Morty was a little badass and there was 1 funny moment. And I appreciate the foreshadowing to Rick's backstory.

60. Childrick of Mort. Eh this episode is fine. The joke at the end was funny and Rick and Beth did have some sweet moments, but this episode was mostly just boring and unfunny.

59. How Poppy Got His Poop Back, definetily the weakest premire, this episode again is just boring, I liked Rick and Morty's interaction at the beginning but besides that there's like…nothing. Just a really forgettable episode.

58. Forgetting Sharick Mortshall. Meh. There was an emotional moment at the end but that's really it. Not much to say about this episode. I mean I liked Morty here at least.

57. Rickmancing the Stone. Eh, it's just kinda boring. Nobody was particually good or bad in this episode. I thought Beth was cute in the episode but that's it, this is just..meh.

56. The Jerrick Trap. I dunno if this opinon is unpopular or not, but it's just not that funny or interesting, Morty was cool here though.

55. Rickstar Ricklatica. Rick was an ass in this episode, there was 1 funny joke and I like Jerry here, but Rick was too much of an ass here for me to rank it higher.

54. Never Ricking Mort. There is some funny jokes, but that's it. And the forehead kiss scene makes me uncomfyyyyy

53. Auto Erotic Assimulaton. Wooboy gonna get chased by an angry mob for this one. This episode is heavilllyyy overrated. It's not funny and just really boring. It's only up this high because the ending scene in fucking amazing and heartbreaking.

52. Ricksy Business. Boring episode, but the ending was cute, but overall the weakest finale.

51. Rick: A Mort well Lived. I liked seeing Morty doubt that Rick cares about him, but this was done leagues better in Fear No Mort, here it was just kinda bland, same thing with the side story with Summer.

50. Juricksic Mort. There's a lot of good Rick moments here, and I liked some of the jokes, but other than that, there's not much here.

49. Pickle Rick. Probably my most controversial pick for the list. I mean this episode isn't bad persay, just extremely overrated. I thought some jokes were funny, and I liked Dr. Wong's speeches, but besides that this episode was just boring.

48. Gotron Jerrysis Rickvangelion. Some funny moments, but other than that, meh. The ending scene haunts my nightmares though.

~ C Tier every episode here is average to good! They aren't the best to offer, but they are ok! ~

47. Rick & Morty's Thanksplotation Spectacular. Funny moments, but that's really it.

46. Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate. Ik this is a controversial pick, but I think people are too hard on this episode, yes the focus on dicks is gross, but there's funny bits and Rick is actually likable here.

45. Air Force Wong. It's good for seeing how much Rick has changed, but besides that, there's just not much to this episode.

44. Amortycan Grafetti. Great for Rick's development,and there was one funny joke, but other than that eh. I LIVE for Summer calling Morty a creepy little grandpa's boy though.

43: The Old Man and The Seat. Fine episode. some jokes are funny and the end is sad, but there's not much else to it.

42. Promortyus. A controversial pick to be sure, but besides the facehugger part, the human part was very funny and the aftercredits scene is also funny.

41. Rickternal Friendshine of the Spotless Mort. This is kinda overrated, but I see the appeal. It's not very funny, but Rick is likable here, and Birdperson was back. I do appreciate them showing Rick's sexuality, but that's about it.

40. Night Family, not really funny, but the story and action are great. Not much else to say.

39. Bethic Twinstic. Again, yes the 2 Beths being in love is gross. BUT the B story is cute and funny, and the jokes about the rest of the family being traumatized are funny.

38. Wet Kaut American Summer. This was funny, and Rick was likable here, but the story and Kauto part is too weird for me to put it in B tier, but it's a really solid episode!

~ B Tier, these episode vary from good to great! Solid, enjoyable episode! ~

37. Pilot. I tend to flip flop a lot on how I feel about this one…but the jokes are funny, there's some cute moments, and it started the show to begin with. So B tier you go!

36. Lawnmower Dog. There's funny moments, I like the inception plot, and the ending was really cute!

35. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez. This is another one I flip flop on, but the B story is enjoyable enough with some funny jokes, same with the A story, it's not spentacular, but an enjoyable watch nonetheless.

34. M Night Shaym-Aliens! We get a bit of protective Rick in this one babyyy. I like the plot, everyone was likable here, and the crystal fight was too adorable for words. There wasn't that many funny jokes, but this episode doesn't try to hard to be funny, so it doesn't bother me.

33. Final Desmithlation. Yes, yes, the incest part is gross. BUT Rick is likable, the fight scenes are cool, and there's legitmately funny jokes but…don't watch this one with family.

32. Edge of Tomorty. Eh this episode wasn't amazing, but it has some funny jokes, both stories were enjoyable, if not a little unmemorable, not a great episode, but a good one.

31. These Ricks Must Be Crazy. Another one I flip flop on. I'm not crazy about the plot, but there's a lot of funny jokes, so I'll give it a pass.

30. The Abcs of Beth, not very funny, but it is plot important and it shows Rick in a pretty likable light for the most part, this was also the first Rick and Beth episode and they did it MUCH better than Childrick of Mort.

29. Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri. Good episode, enjoyable plot, introduces Space Beth, funny jokes, and emotional ending. Not the best episode ever, but a really good one.

28. Vindicators 3: Return of World Ender. Jealous Rick in this one babbyyy. I LIVE for his pettiness in this episode, the Vindicators are enjoyable characters, even if they get killed, it's not the best episode, but it's definetily an enjoyable watch.

27. The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy. Rick is likable here, the B plot is enjoyable, Rick's "The reason why you suck" speech to Jerry was pretty on-point. Deducted some points because it's not very funny, but solid episode!

26. Morty's Mindblowers. Does it deserve to be ranked this high? …Probably not. But it's one of the first episodes I watched and it holds a special place in my heart for that. It's funny and has some good Rick moments.

25. Mortynight Run. I like Morty trying to do good, but failing at it. Rick is a little unlikable here, but he has some good moments, it has memorable side characters, and a good song, but it's not that funny.

24. Mort: Raganrick. Rick's character development is shown amazingly well here. I'm so proud! There's also quite a few funny moments, I think the B story is a little overrated, but still good, solid episode!

23. Get Schwifty. I like the song, Rick was funny here and was likable in an asshole way, it also introduces the president. So yeah, good episode!

22: Something Ricked This Way Comes, this episode is really funny! Rick is pretty likable, I don't really like Summer, but that's really it, I also really like the B plot and Jerry was really likable!

21. The Vat of Acid Episode. Very funny and I liked Morty a lot in this one, Rick was just an asshole just to be an asshole here, but it's too funny for me to place it any lower.

20. Total Rickall. The ending scene is fucking amazing holy shit. But unlike Auto Erotic Assimulation, it has good stuff besides that, the jokes are funny and the action is fucking awesome! Would definetly recommend!

19. A Rickle in Time. Okokokok. This might be a little too high for it but HEAR ME OUT! Ok, it isn't very funny, but the B story is very cute, and there were a few funny jokes. The ending scene also reveals SO MUCH about Rick's character and is SO amazing and fun to anaylze! PLEASE watch this episode if you haven't already!

18. Rixty minutes. Funny episode, with really good emotional beats and both the A and B story are really good. Defineity check it out!

17. That's Amorte. This episode is really really good. It handles it's serious theme exceptionally well! I had to dock it a little bit since the jokes weren't funny, but this episode is phenominal.

16. Anaylze Piss. Again great episode! It handles it serious theme well, Rick is amazing here, so proud! I didn't like all of the jokes about piss, but everything else makes up for it. Please PLEASE check it out!

15. The Rickiture Mortyidate. Rick is likable here, very funny story, good pacing, character development for Beth, and there's even some cute bonding moments between Rick and Morty! Very good finale!

14. Rick Potion #9. Very good episode! Funny jokes, powerful ending, and it's very important to the plot! Some points were deducted because Rick was insuffable here and Morty was a creep, but still an amazing episode!

13. Full Meta Jackrick. UGH I love Rick so much here! There's a lot of funny jokes, an interesting story, and Rick is sooo likable! The pacing can be a bit slow at times, and I wasn't a big fan of the last few minutes, but great episode nonetheless! Go watch it!

12. Rest and Ricklaxation. UGHHH THIS FUCKING EPISODE! It makes me go feral in the best way, there are some funny bits, sure, but really it's the Rick character development for me, the line "irrational attachments lives rent free In my head ughhh. Please watch this one! It's sooo fun to anaylze!

11. Look Who's Purging Now. Very good episode! This one has funny bits, but it's the Morty character development for meeee. His repressed rage really needs to be explored more! And Rick lying about the candy bar to make Morty feel better was sweet.

10. The Rickshank Rickdemption. DAMN this is a good premire! It's very plot important, the action is awesome and we get Rick's backstory (although it isn't confrimed canon till later) and the garage rant was hilarous! Terrific episode!

9. The Wedding Squanchers. Great finale! It's funny, it's plot-important, and everyone is likable, and the ending STILL makes me sob.

~ S Tier. These episodes are great and nearly FLAWLESS! These are also my top eight!

8. Meeseeks and Destroy. I might be giving this one a bitttt too much credit, but it's really important to me, and I love it a lot! The jokes are funny, and they handle the serious topic near flawlessly, Everyone here is likeable (Besides Mr. Jellybean but he's not supposed to be) and I will NEVER not cry over it! Such a good episode!

7. Rickfending Your Mort. Such an amazing episode! Rick is so likable here! Everyone is! There's so many funny and heartwarming moments and it's amazing proof for Rick's character development! Please watch/rewatch it when you get the chance!

6. The Ricklantis Mixup. UGHHH the plot episodes are ALWAYS amazing! This episode shows Evil Morty's manipulation well and makes you excited for his next apprerance! It's not very funny, but the plot is so awesome that I can excuse it!

5. Close Rick-counters with Rick kind. Really great episode! Introduces Evil Morty (My Evil Babyboyyyy) and Doofus Rick! Rick crying over Morty always gets to me and Morty is amazing here!

4. Solaricks. Morty is a sweet little baby angel here, the emotional moments HIT! Everyone is likable and it's just a good episode overall, it's not very funny but it's a phenomial episode, please watch it!

3. Rickmurai Jack. I mean c'mon. Rick's backstory revealed? Rick treating Morty like an equal? THE FUCKING ENDING?! This episode did damn near everything right. Unmortricken is slightlyy better because I find it to be more emotional and is a lil more unique. This episode is fucking amazing though holy shit.

2. Unmortricken. Do I even really need to explain myself? It's funny, we got my three favorite characters center stage here (Rick C-137, Morty Prime, and Evil Morty) The death scene is POWERFUL and the ending scene really knows how to kick you in the stomach! The only reason why it's not the top is because I'm not crazy about Rick Prime as a villian, but amazing episode nonetheless. It's also very funny and Rick and Morty's hug at the end is everything to me!

Fear No Mort. MORTY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FUCK YEAH! The exploration of Morty's trauma is incredible! And it has so legitmately funny jokes! The emotional moment really hits you in the gut! The pacing is really great, the montage is amazing, and the hug is EVERYTHING! This episode is so much fun to anaylze and just ughhh! It's so so sooo great! Please watch it!

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH