#bitch I know NOTHING about geology

[varpusvaras]

hhhhhh I need to fill out applications for internships...I need an adult.

[my-pokemon-rambling-blog]

My opinion on the Arc suits: What. The. Fuck.

First, the logic behind it. Like, the connection between each character and Arceus, and whether the character needs the alt or not. An alt needs to be relevant to the focal point of the design.

It has been four(?) years since the last Lance alt in this five year old game. Meanwhile, Steven is getting alts like no one’s business! Cynthia got some great treatment too. She got the Giratina suit, the Alola pseudo-legendary alt. Also, she has three themes across the board. Most of the champions have a decisive theme. Most…

Hm…I guess who doesn’t have a decisive theme out of the Champions. HM…

Seriously, why does Giovanni get a decisive theme instead of Lance? All the other champions get a decisive theme(to my knowledge)! So why can’t he?

The only way for Lance to get an alt is to be tied with Steven and Cynthia. Why can’t he and Clair get alts together? They’re literal cousins! Silver is also another alternative solution. Do I see/understand the dad!Lance son!Silver head cannon so famous in the Lance fandom? No not at all. But at least it’s something.

Moving on to Steven, what significance does Steven have with Arceus? I know this applies with Lance, but at least he’s from Johto which has some connective tissue with Acreus and Sinnoh, but Steven? He doesn’t have any connective tissue that links him with Arceus (to my knowledge). He has more connections to Rayquaza or the Lati duo more than anything. Besides, Hoenn’s husband would relate to Regigigas or Heatran than anything. Steven doesn’t have anything that can connect himself to Sinnoh other than that one place in Sinnoh in the post-game(?).

As for Cynthia, uh… I have nothing to really bitch about. She has a strong connection to Arceus, especially with her bloodline. She obviously has interest with Arceus since she’s a history nerd (and she’s proud). If anything, Cynthia really fits the bill with the Arc suit idea. I can’t really complain here…which is great!

Secondly, the characters’ synergy with each other. A character alt should have a good connection with the other characters receiving the same alt. For example, Feh’s choice for who gets an alt makes sense. Marth’s bridal alt is paired with Caeda’s bridal alt because they are canonical husband and wife.

The whole Steven/Cynthia/Lance connection is shown in Masters. They’re the final boss of the main story I think. I didn’t finish it because I was wrapped up in getting characters I actually liked. Their relationship in the mainline games is… nonexistent. However, Steven and Cynthia share similar interests that being geology and archeology. That’s it. The whole crux of the trio is that they’re powerful trainers who got to Champion level and help you defeat the evil team. That’s it.

Now another principle in what I’m going to call “Alt/Skin Law in Video Games” is the designs. Do they have a common theme? Do they have some unique details that sets each design apart? Does each design carry the essence of each character as individuals and as a whole group?

The arc suits DO fit the principle. Do they look good? Not really. I had just played Xenoblade Chronicles and when I saw arc suit Cynthia, I mistook her for Mythra. I’m not kidding. I wish they made all the clothes white. It’s annoying it doesn’t. Lance with a white cape would look good. The orange could change to purple or gold to match Arceus. The underside would be a light grey. Steven’s design is weird. Why aren’t the pants white? Make the pants white. It’s so annoying. His original color palette is just perfect. Just invert the black. Simple as that. Anyway, back to Cynthia, why are the hair accessories green? Make them whatever color Cynthia is supposed to represent for the Arceus form. I get Lance is dragon. That’s just common sense. Steven Stone being steel Arceus makes sense too. Cynthia? Make her ??? type or Stellar type. Makes sense. She isn’t a type specialist, or a triple type specialist in Steven’s case (which leads me into a head cannon I just thought of just now). This also helps with the foreshadowing with Volo and the champions.

Anyways, that’s all. I know I said Wally was gonna be soon, which he will, but it that takes time because he’s my favorite rival, and this doesn’t take as much time for me

[blaebeast]

Character Bio: Grows-Bones

Name: Grows-Bones, Bones

Age: 32

Sex: Didal (They/Them)

Weapon: ???

Faction: Cruelty

Occupation: Primord

Close Friends: Hadet, Sirit

Friends: Hugo

Knows of: Kanne, Farris, Yuim, Salome, Salem, Etsis, Hrugar, Shine, Orture, Millius, Tiruki

Family: Family in Unison-aligned city

Goals and Motivations:

- This planet, the only one we have left for us, has been absolutely decimated by the millennia of wars brought on by both Man and Beast. I feel like it is my duty, and all of Beastkind’s duty, to work hard to revitalize the planet and make it sustainable for all to live on. Things like sustainability, reforestation, conservation and biodiversity are all very important to me, and I will hope that both Unity and Cruelty can come together on this idea.

- I would not be a Primord if it wasn’t for Hadet. Hadet had heard of the work I was doing even before the Primord battles, and agreed with my ideas. When it came to our match, I surrendered to him, and he fought my battles for me, eventually securing both of our places as Primords. Besides the fact that Hadet is a very good person, I am devoted to him and owe him a lot. He is my best friend. Sometimes we preform his priestly duties together.

- I am ex-Unison/Unity, but that carries too much negative connotation. I left Unison during Salem’s time as a Sector Leader, and even with my actions and petitioning, I was unhappy with the lack of change, so I left to make my own movement. While I still try to lead a very low-tech lifestyle in the Bulwark (where technology is frowned upon), I still have my secret “creature comforts” like a solar panel, lamps, and even a percolator. Sometimes I miss city living, and would love to visit Unison again.

- I’ve been very happy with Salome’s progress with her time as Sector Leader. She is very different from her father and her compassion for both her people and her planet shows. Hadet talks a lot about her, and I look forward to meeting her in-person someday.

Personality and Interests:

- I am a priest if Himma but NOT like Hadet. I celebrate the ACTUAL fertility and crop harvest aspect of Himma. He is primarily the god of agriculture and harvest, and I think “Mr. Virility” himself tends to forget that’s what literally EVERYONE ELSE worships of him.

- I enjoy taking walks, hiking, rock climbing, and all sorts of outdoor activities. I also like pressing leaves and flowers, or taking reliefs of what I cannot pick. Botany rules!

- I like to work hard in the dirt, and I do not fear hard labor. I may not be as strong as someone like Hadet physically, but I will use my hands wherever they may be needed.

- I’m a good listener. I’ve been told that I am a good mediator and can bring about compromises. I like giving advice and my opinion of things, if asked.

- No, the horns don’t hurt. Yes I have to grind them down from curling into my eye. Yes I have check-ups with an outside doctor to monitor its growth. It’s nothing more than a genetic abnormality.

- I know I may be tall and bulky, but I’m truly a gentle giant! Fighting, sparing and training don’t really interest me. Hadet tries to get me to spar, trust me.

- Fuck Kanne and Farris. I get the whole Blabeast “warrior species tradition” thing, but is all this bloodshed really necessary? I know Hadet uses them as a form of punishment or offensive for aggressive villages, but I don’t get why he still lets them be around. I guess they’re easier to monitor if they’re closer to home?

- Sirit complains to me about not getting enough attention from Hadet and bitch!!! Me too! I want his attention too! Has anyone ever considered that I like Hadet as a little bit more than just a friend? Huh?

- Sirit is very sweet when she wants to be, but goodness she is so shy. I like to be nice to her when I can. I like to gift her rocks and gemstones since we both enjoy geology.

Artwork:



[elvhenfaer]

Would you like to do this:

15 OC associations

Please 🙏😊

OKAY!

For my lil Mr. Amheotil Lavellan.

Color:

I’m gonna say green. Such a stereotypical elf color (and I almost said gold because of his eyes) but the mf really does love nature. Nothing calms our resident angry boy down like a mossy forest or a vast open expanse of grassy plains. His best friend’s and his niece’s eyes are green, too.

Song:

For the meme I chose ‘Home’ by American Authors and I’m gonna stick with that for multiple reasons.

“I’ve got these letters tattooed on my arm that remind me each second of the place I come from and the long, hard road to guide me back home.” - The first line in the song just makes me think of how Amheotil feels about his Vallaslin and how it keeps him rooted to his people. The Inquisition is a necessity but he’d really just like to save the world and go back to his Clan.

“I've been gone now, for too long, I'm not trying to stop a hurricane, I'm not trying to shake the ground below, I'm just trying to find a way to make it back home.

I'm not trying to part the ocean waves, I'm not trying to overthrow the throne, I'm just trying to find a way to make it back home.” - Amheotil is not power hungry and he sort of hates everything that the title of ‘Inquisitor’ has put on his back. Sure, he’d like to make the world a better place but he never forgets that he’s just a man, the status never goes to his head.

Animal:

Fisher Cat because they’re ragey little bastards. Amheotil is an insomniac and fishers are nocturnal. They have no predators other than humans (fishers are only hunted when they are old or ill and therefore don’t pose a threat, but until then no one want to mess with them) and even though they’re only the size of a large house cat, they’ve been known to take on Lynxes and win and are one of the only animals known to hunt porcupines (a.k.a. they’re tenacious little fuckers). They prefer a forested environment and are not known to attack unless provoked. Also, they like mushrooms.

Element:

Earth. Amheotil’s morals are like stone, they are hard set and firm. But if you know how to navigate the earth then it can protect and shelter you, and Amheotil is very much a protector.

Smell:

Probably like Cedarwood, Pine Pitch, Patchouli, Pali Santo. Real earthy scents. Amheotil is not a flowery guy.

Month:

August. The long days when summer is coming to an end and you just lay out in the sun and let it warm you and breathe the fresh air and you’re just glad to be alive on this magnificent planet.

Day or Night:

Yikes idk. Night. Night might be when the bad dreams come but it’s also when everyone leaves him the fuck alone and he can just cuddle up with Dorian and ignore the fact that he’s the Inquisitor for a while.

Plant:

Lotus. Cliché but the Lotus grows from the muck at the bottom, through the darkness, to bloom beautifully on the water’s surface.

Food:

Mushrooms. Til loves em. Yum.

Drink:

Whiskey. Idk I just feel like he’s a whiskey man.

Astrological Sign:

Part of me says Aquarius, very idealist, unafraid of people thinking he’s weird, part of me says Aries, very ‘fight me bitch, I will cut you.’

Place:

Uhhhh do I choose a real place or….? I’m gonna say any old growth forest. Untouched kinda places. Til’s greatest regret is having to send people into the Arbor Wilds after Corypheus because it disturbed the ancient wilderness there. So in the real world he would love any bit of the planet that man just sort of leaves in peace, where nature can be nature.

Gemstone:

Grandidierite (can ya tell I’m a geology nerd?) it only comes from one place in the world and it’s rarely actually gem quality, but it’s gorgeous. Amheotil is sorta a unique boy, different.

Season:

Summer. Amheotil can be a breath of fresh air and a bright, sunny presence in your life or he can roast you to death.

Number:

Man, I do not know.

[sadaboutniall]

Without Fear

masterlist | tag | wattpad

hiya! since tomorrow is thanksgiving I thought it would be better for everyone if I posted this week’s chapter today! hope you like!

Chapter Two. February 

give me moonlight, and a smile from you that I can // that I can barely believe — dancing under red skies, dermot kennedy

It comes on slow, the way waves lap up against the shore late at night, when there aren’t many boats out to disrupt them. Over and over, bit by bit, it settles in. The first wave of it bites at Lu’s ankles when her toilet overflows at 6am, leaving her standing in her socks in the bathroom, soaking wet, worrying about the water leaking into the shop below, while Ruairí meows in concern from his spot atop the sink. Frantic, Lu calls her dad, and it goes to voicemail twice before she remembers it’s 1am in New York. 

Accompanied only by a YouTube tutorial and the rising sun, Lu manages to fix the mess, shower, and start the day all on her own. Her dad calls back five hours later, and Lu feels like she’s lived a whole lifetime between then and now. 

The second wave of it has more venom. She sleeps in on a Sunday—the only day the shop is closed—stirring around 10 because Ruairí is relentless, screeching in her ear, kneading at her belly, desperate for something to eat. Mindless, she feeds him, freshens up his water, makes herself a cup of coffee, pulls out a pastry leftover from Siobhan’s bake the day before, and settles into a spot by the window of her flat, overlooking the sea, all before thinking to take a look at her phone. 

Even if she goes 12 hours without looking at her phone, Lu finds she doesn’t miss much these days—she left home on a whim, without a ton of fanfare, and knows full well that she isn’t putting in the effort she should to keep in touch with friends from home. She also knows that’s why she left.

So, most mornings, she wakes up to a few messages in the family group chat, a message or two from her best friend Georgia, and not much else. This morning, it’s different. 

208 texts. 12 missed calls. 

Lu’s stomach sinks like a stone. Her whole body heats up at once. Her hands start shaking and her heart starts hammering, all before she even manages to swipe open a single notification. 

She doesn’t even have the wherewithal to cycle through possibilities. Her brain, hitting overdrive from the start, has no question that it’s bad. 

In WhatsApp, Lu finds that her family group chat has 206 messages. She has one separate text from her dad, and a final separate text from her brother. Nothing from her mom. 

Shaking, she swipes open her dad’s first. On the counter, Ruairí is sniffing at a banana. 

Hi, love, his message says. Figured the number of messages in the group chat is overwhelming. We’re at the hospital with Sam now. All is well, the appendix is out and he’s resting. Mary’s with us, she got back from Honduras yesterday. Good timing. Give us a call when you get a chance. 

From her brother, Lu finds a selfie. He’s in a hospital bed, gown around his shoulders. He looks pale, dark circles around his eyes, but he’s okay—he’s smiling, giving the camera a thumbs up. Underneath, the message says I lived, bitch. 

Relief coursing through her, Lu lets out a shaky laugh. It’s scarily on-brand for Sam to pull out a meme at a moment like this. 

Slowly but surely, Lu’s heartbeat slows to its normal rate. As it does, she scrolls back through the messages from the night before: her brother raising the alarm that he had a pesky pain in his side, their mother, a doctor herself, urging him to get it checked out. There’s a moment where Sam says the doctor is sending him home, and another where their mom urges him to demand an ultrasound, just in case. He does, and they find the appendicitis. Lu shudders to think what would’ve happened had her mother been the one sleeping soundlessly an ocean away. 

It’s five am in New York. Lu figures they’re all shattered. Rather than call and risk waking everyone up after what was surely a late, long night, Lu shoots off a text to her dad, asking him to call her when they wake up and sending lots of love. She turns her ringer up all the way so she won’t miss anything else. She feels a million miles away. 

####

On February first, Lu wakes up in a cold sweat. It’s still dark outside, but that doesn’t mean much in a place where the sun doesn’t rise until nearly 9am. Still, Lu doesn’t even need to look at a clock to know it must be early: perched on the pillow next to her head, Ruairí is snoring gently, dead to the world, not yet ready to demand breakfast. 

Heart hammering, Lu gropes around the bed until her hand closes around her phone, cold. She squints, then sighs, as she checks the time.

4:45am. 

Lu is no stranger to waking up mid-panic attack. Sometimes, it feels like choking—like she can’t get a breath down deep enough, to pool in the bottom of her lungs. Other times, it feels like an unavoidable urge to get up, move, get as far away from the space she woke up in as physically possible. Right now, it feels like a stomach ache, period pains, itchy skin, her body trying to tell her that something, somewhere, is going terribly wrong. 

Logically, she knows it’s not. She holds her breath, five, four, three, two, one, and checks her phone as her heart jackrabbits away. Nothing out of the ordinary: her mom texted a picture of her glass of wine with dinner to the family group chat, her dad reported the score of a soccer game, her brother sent that he’d managed to run a full two miles today, his furthest since the appendectomy. Everything is fine. 

Except for Lu. 

There’s no use trying to go back to sleep; Lu knows herself better than that. Heart still working overtime despite reassurance, she slips out of bed as gently as she can, praying that she won’t wake Ruairí. She’s silent as she gets dressed and silent as she tiptoes out of her bedroom, out of the apartment, and down the stairs. The morning is still and dark, but you can hear for miles and miles on Inis Mór, and as she begins her walk the soft, familiar sounds of tractors roaring to life, cows mooing for their breakfast, sheep and goats bleating, remind Lu that she’s not the only one—that others are here too, alive, beginning their day, pushing on. Home. And underneath it all, there is, always, the sound of the waves, constant, crashing against the shore. 

####

Lu doesn’t get a chance to nap. She walks, balancing on the edge of the cliffs that overlook the Atlantic, breathing in the sea air and thinking about how the water here, crashing, violent against the cliffs below her is the same water that once lapped up on the shores of Long Island, of Coney Island, of the Rockaways, of home. Seagulls swoop, low and graceful, over her head, over the ocean, and Lu thinks that if she asked her dad to drop a floatie into the Atlantic for her it just might make it—just might wash up here, on the edge of the Earth, the way she has. 

She walks and walks—you can walk all the way around Inis Mór and back in under five hours, but she doesn’t have that kind of time. She walks along the cliffs, the white, blinding, otherworldly geology of the Burren, through the grass and the mud and the cow shit, until she’s back at the cafe, windows glowing golden against the rising sun, condensation clinging to them from the inside. Siobhan is pulling pastries out of the oven when she opens the door around 6:30, and Ruairí, curled up on the counter, looks at her, bitter. 

Siobhan smiles, “There you are. No worries, pet, I’ve fed him his breakfast.” 

She wobbles through the day, exhausted from the panic, the walk, the lack of sleep. She messes up at least two orders—gives Mrs. Duffy whole milk instead of skim, drops Mr. Kennedy’s sandwich on the floor while she’s bringing it over to him—but, as always, no one bats an eye. They touch her arm gently, lull “oh, it’s no bother, darling, we’ll make it right, now,” and the cadence of their laughter carries as she does exactly that. There’s no venom, no rush, nothing to give Lu the adrenaline she so badly needs to make it through the day. 

Somehow, she almost forgets that it’s Niall’s first day. But all of a sudden it’s twelve hours later and he’s bustling inside, bringing a rush of cold air with him. The door swings shut behind him and Lu, who had been curled up at the cushioned window seat with Ruairí on top of her in a moment of quiet, jumps. The cat’s only just forgiven her for this morning, and her movement causes him to stalk off in anger. She sighs after him.

“Oh, no,” Niall laughs a little, “sorry, did I interrupt something?” He looks soft and sweet in his dark jeans, his hat pulled low over his forehead. He’s shedding his puffer jacket to reveal a navy blue cable knit sweater and his cheeks are flushed from the cold. His eyes, bright and blue as Lu remembers them, find hers. He smiles. 

“Yeah,” Lu just about manages. “He just forgave me, you totally ruined it.”

Niall barks out a laugh, head thrown back, shoulders hunching up. “What did you do?” 

“Forgot to feed him breakfast this morning,” Lu sighs. “Siobhan did it, but he held it against me anyway.” 

“Ah, well,” Niall shrugs. “I’d be mad too, if I were a cat.” 

“S’a good thing you’re not, then,” Lu smiles. “I’m not here to feed you.” 

Niall’s still giggling. Lu wonders if he ever stops. 

“I’m thinking I might make him pupcakes or something as an apology…” Lu is rambling a bit now, but she’s so tired, and Niall’s so cute, and nothing is real here, anyway. “I know they’re for dogs but I can’t imagine they’re bad for cats? I bet he’ll like those—honestly, I bet he’ll just like knowing I slaved over a hot stove for him. It’s like he can tell, you know?” 

It wasn’t meant to be that funny, but Niall is fully cackling, crinkles by his eyes on full display, one hand clutching his tummy. “You’re funny,” he says between laughs. “A bit looney, me da would say—hey, Lu, looney, Looney Tunes. It all makes sense.” 

“Isn’t ‘looney’ offensive?” The banter with him comes so easily, Lu doesn’t let herself overthink it. “Think we’re supposed to stop using it.” 

“Ah, well,” Niall’s pulling his guitar out to tune, now, “You’re in Ireland now, love. All good nicknames are a little offensive.”

####

The night is mostly quiet, a dozen customers at the most, which Lu thinks is probably good for Niall’s nerves. He’s just as stunning as he was the night Lu first met him, pulling out an arsenal of covers ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Post Malone, somehow making them all work for his voice, for the vibe, for everyone, but he’s shaking—she can see it when he pushes his hair off his forehead, or when he drops his pick on the floor between songs, laughing awkwardly as he bends to grab it. Even with the mistakes, the dropped pick, the few stumbles over lyrics, he’s endearing, engaging, all-consuming. Lu’s meant to be working, but she can’t find it in her to look away.

From her spot at the counter, Lu watches how Niall keeps his eyes trained on the window across from him. He doesn’t seem to be looking for anyone or anything, but Lu suspects it’s easier than looking his audience in the eye—despite the fact that she can see for herself just how captivated they are. It shouldn’t take an hour and a half to drink one coffee and eat one slice of chocolate cake, but that’s how long old Mr. Kane spends in the shop anyway, eyes closed, listening to Niall play. 

For two full hours, Niall keeps the shop warm and alive. Everyone is so captivated that Lu barely has to work after all; she leans up against the counter instead, cradling the mug of hot chocolate that Siobhan made her before she left for the night, and taking him in. She barely knows him, and yet. 

Lu has seen plenty of nervous first-timers performing in front of apathetic crowds—it was practically her job, after all. She’s also seen more than her fair share of world class performers stunning crowds that want to eat them up, keep them on stage forever, bottle their energy and carry it through the rest of their lives. Working in the music industry, even just as an assistant, for five years turned her hard and jaded, made her feel like she’s seen the seedy, rough, rude underbelly of it all—but she’s never seen anyone perform like Niall before. His unadulterated, all consuming love for music is tangible, even from across the room. This is now Niall communicates. This is how he understands the world. This is how he sees life. Half of Lu feels lucky to hear it—the other half feels sick knowing that his talent is wasted here.

It almost makes her sad to have to close up at 9. Niall’s good about it—he’s designed his set to last exactly two hours, finds a climax in the middle with “Dancing in the Dark” and tapers his song choices toward a slow but steady ending, letting everyone know, without having to say it, that it’s time to head home. Lu doesn’t even have to ask him if he knows how to play “Closing Time.” 

Mr. Kane is the last to leave, sticking around a little after nine to shake Niall’s hand and tell him he had no idea how talented Maura’s son is. He talks about Maura—Lu assumes she must be Niall’s mom—while Lu slowly, quietly begins putting dishes away. She likes the routine of this already, Niall’s quiet voice, his booming laugh, his warm presence keeping her company while she settles down for the night. It’s something she could get used to. It’s something, the first thing, she thinks she could miss, if she left. 

Niall masterfully leads his conversation with Mr. Kane toward goodbyes, shaking his hand again as he shuts the door behind him. Lu looks up from where she was rinsing a cup to watch as Niall watches through the window to make sure Mr. Kane gets in his car. He waits for the car to start before turning around, leaning his back up against the door, dragging a hand through his hair, and letting out a long sigh. 

“Alright?” Lu asks, gentle. Niall’s got his eyes closed, his head back, neck exposed to her. It’s thick and littered with freckles, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. In her chest, Lu’s heart does something funny. She presses her thighs together, tight. 

Niall opens his eyes halfway, exhaling a little laugh as he meets Lu’s gaze. She hopes he can’t tell—how could he? 

“Yeah,” he says then, standing all the way up and shaking his head. “That was mad.” 

“It was amazing,” Lu counters. She gently places the mug back into the sink, bracing her hands against the edge. Part of her is afraid of what she’ll do without something between him and her. “They were so into it. No one could look away from you.”

Her cheeks flush, and Niall catches it. The corner of his mouth pulls up in half a smile as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Ya think so?” 

“I know so,” Lu presses her lips together, but it doesn’t do much to prevent her smile. “‘Dancing In The Dark’ was my favorite one; it’s perfect for your voice.” 

“Thanks, Looney Tunes,” Niall hums, making his way back over toward her. “Can I help ya clean up? I wash, you dry?”

“Oh,” Lu stills. She’d half forgotten about the dishes still left to clean, the floor to sweep, the leftovers to toss, the counters to wipe down. Her mind stumbles over the best way to go about this: it would be rude to keep him, but, God, she wants his company. She realizes, with a slight swoop in her belly, that she hasn’t felt homesick in two hours. She needs him to stay. “I actually—I have a dishwasher. I just like to rinse everything before I put it in.” 

Niall smiles. He comes around the counter to stand next to Lu at the sink, knocking his hip against hers. “Sensible,” he says. It’s quiet. Just for her. “I’ll rinse and put ‘em in. You’ve been stood here all night. What else do you have to do?” 

“Uh,” Lu feels like her whole body is vibrating. Her mind turns over itself like an engine that won’t start. “Sweep the floors, wipe down the counters, lock up.” 

“Alright,” Niall is so close that Lu can smell his aftershave. Warm, soft, mixed with sweat from his nerves and the smell of his skin. “Let’s do it.”

####

taglist: @missy14us @antisocialsocialclub5 @coconutdawn @ficnarry @bopbopstyles @okaaayniall @theresnooneheretosave @niallgolden @tinyfelthat @adoremp3 @thelifeofbo @crocodileniall @niallsguitarthings @kara-246

Join the tag list here.

[ultramaga]

“Why Climate Science Is Like the Rest of Science “ Ok, so he has to compare it to the rest of science to make this claim. Will he do that? 

“By and large, the public’s mood has shifted from one of skepticism to support” I think if you walk outside Leftist circles, you see a different world. China is the leading producer of CO2, and it doesn’t give a shit. We can’t help but notice the rich keep buying up oceanside properties, too, despite them lecturing at us that the sea levels are rising. “ He accepts the reality that human induced global warming is a reality” That sentence is garbage. The author wants us to accept their conclusion that their belief is reality, so they keep repeating the word. And get with the times, it’s Climate Change now, whoops, I just got a text, it’s Climate CRISIS! Panic, everyone!!! "the Earth has indeed warmed by 1.40C since 1900″ Let’s assume it has. We do not know squat about whether or not that is caused by humans, because everything we see indicates that the Earth and the solar system itself is far less stable than we used to think. We are watching the magnetic poles accelerating away from their earlier position, and now realise that gigantic chaotic movements are taking place beneath our feet, and we are the equivalents of ants walking on the skin of boiling milk.  We know also that the Sun is unusually stable compared to other stars of its type. It’s completely reasonable for it to warm up, and indeed, it is warming up over time, but in the short term, variations for such stars are mundane. If anything, the freaky thing is that our star seems to have been oddly stable for a long time.

https://www.iflscience.com/environment/we-could-be-heading-mini-ice-age-2030/ The science is settled! The climate is predictable! It’s an ice age! The poles are going to melt! The poles will melt by 2020! The Earth is going to become another Venus! I have heard it all before. The Earth’s climate has completely evaded every prediction. 

"The basic physics underlying global climate change is clear “ Bitch, no it isn’t, which is why the predictions keep going wrong. We had no idea that the magnetic poles were likely to flip until recently. We could lose a layer of our atmosphere if that happens. Hands up those who think having no magnetosphere might affect the climate! “Theoretical predications have been confirmed by observations. “| Return of the ice age and drought in peninsular Florida? https://pubs.geoscienceworld.org/gsa/geology/article-abstract/3/12/695/185838/Return-of-the-ice-age-and-drought-in-peninsular Uh huh. Convection in the antarctic ice sheet leading to a surge of the ice sheet and possibly to a new ice age https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17799300/ I lived through the 1970s. You would see headlines all the time that either the Earth was going to freeze, or it was going to heat up. The advantage is that by betting both ways, they were always right, because the Earth always changes, the Sun always changes, our orbit always changes; the idea that we live in some safe stable system is a myth. "CO2 abundances will persist with only about a 40 percent falloff over a millennium” Garbage. We could build fission reactors and siphon it off if we wanted to. We could then sequester the CO2. https://medium.com/climate-conscious/nuclear-powered-carbon-capture-and-sequestration-2fc9c97e7b5 , even if we turned off Greenhouse gas production today, and given the heat input already due to increased CO2 atmospheric concentration, sea levels will rise by at least 0.5–1m by 2100 independent of planned global reduction of fossil fuel burning.

“Residual uncertainties do not invalidate the basic picture, any more than our existing uncertainties about dark matter in cosmology invalidate the basic Big Bang model” ” there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years." https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2009/12/al_gore_trips_on_artic_ice_mis.html We were sold a lie. I didn’t see climate scientists correcting Gore’s world wide announcements, and movies and many press conferences. They were happy to see additional funding. Oh, and dark matter may not exist. One possible solution is that our understanding of gravity is wrong, which would certainly impact the Big Bang model. It might well be discarded entirely if MOND is found to be correct, so this is a stupid analogy. “The fact that IPCC models allow as little as 20C of heating or as much as 80C by century’s end” And yet there is no path by their model to achieve that goal, because China does not give a fuck.

http://desdemonadespair.net/2015/06/graph-of-day-carbon-emissions-and-human.html The globalists try and ignore China by using a per capita model, which means dividing everything by the gigantic number of people in China, as if that could somehow impact the Climate Change model. I guess physical systems just look at China, and see all the people, and figure, well, they won’t heat up the Earth too much after all, because despite the Chinese pumping out all that CO2, well, there are so many of them that the individual contribution is lower than the American, and so we just have to give them a break. Physics really cares about individuals that way, it’s very polite! "I am reminded of the phrase used by Clint Eastwood in his Dirty Harry movies, when pointing his potentially empty gun at a suspect, he asks, “Do you feel lucky?”” He is fucking using Pascal’s wager. What a bitch move. Even philosophers generally agree that is a piece of shit.  The tactic of the wager is to freeze the logical capacity of the brain with fear. DO WHAT I SAY, BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T, YOU’LLL BURRRRRRRRN. No. No, sir, that is not how reason works. You want us to tear up Western Civilisation, to do the “Great Reset”, and sacrifice all our civil liberties, because you say the alternative is global destruction? Well, for one thing, your Armageddon still takes place even if the West vanishes, because China has never cared about your vision. For another - the predictions of your model keep failing. At best, it is postdictive - endlessly being revised to match the data of the past, because as soon as it is pushed forward, it fails, over and over. That is terrible science, and simply wouldn’t be tolerated in physics or chemistry, despite his claims. He wants us to ruin our world on the chance that if we don’t, the world will be ruined, and ignores that China will obliterate it anyway by his reasoning. He completely ignores nuclear power, as they usually do. If these people genuinely believed their models, they would be pushing reactors to be built everywhere. Instead, they tell us to learn to have nothing, and tell us we will be happy.

I wasn’t joking. That is exactly what they are saying.

And I say that with all due respect.

[a-woman-apart]

Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.

[thejarleyfic]

finding home. 1/?.

who: Marley Rose, Jake Puckerman

when: ten years apart

where: lima, ohio

what: Marley was invisible in school, always pining for one boy's attention. Ten years later, she's a pop star that's found hiding out in her hometown. Jake had everything in high school, but is now the burnt-out owner of a run-down bar in the town he could never escape. Their paths cross once again, two people trying to find home.

fanfiction.com link

One more week. 

Her mom had texted her during English class to remind her, but truth be the told the thought hadn’t left her head since the day started. Nobody was seeing her preoccupation, only the occasional nudge from the teacher to feign attention to the last few lesson plans before graduation. 

One more week.

The rest of the class shuffled out of the classroom as the bell finished ringing, the volume of the chatter drawing out the last few pages of homework that Ms. Johnston was in the middle of assigning. A class full of seniors weren’t planning on making the last few days of their high school career count, especially as everybody was swapping details about the end-of-the-year parties and summer plans before heading to college. Anybody with even the slightest excitement planned for the next few weeks way far past paying attention to the last assignments of the year.

With a few more scribbles of the last pages, Marley slid the yellow notebook into her bag and stood to slip into the hallway. It was a long trek across the school to get to geology, going through the back hallways avoided the groups of seniors and juniors that blocked entire pathways with their groups. Attempting to go around them had her bag knocked off her shoulder on more than one occasion.

“Wait--” Marley froze, one foot out the classroom door as she glanced to Mrs. Johnston, an older woman that had been at McKinley since her mother was a teenager. There were only a few times that they had interacted before, usually when a volunteer was picked to answer a question about the previous reading. There was still a taste of bitterness each time Marley thought about the fact that she never raised her hand, but she swallowed the feeling in change for the small pleasantry. “It was good to have you in class this year. I wish I would’ve heard from you more.”

A small shoulder shrug, nearly impossible to see under the long, brunette hair hiding the sides of her face and frame. There was nothing to say except the excuses she gave to every teacher that made the same comment, except this time there wasn’t another opportunity next year.

“Any thoughts after graduation?”

A small beat, then the reluctant response.

“I have a cousin out in California, she offered me to stay with her out there while I take a few classes.”

“I’m quite serious. You have some good things going for you, Mary.”

Marley was out the door before the sting revealed itself on her face, biting the inside of her cheek as she navigated the hallway. 

A few corner turns, and she was in the service hallway. Long, closets and empty rooms lining the sides. The lonesome entrance for the maintenance workers, the only one wide enough to fit some of the machinery in. The volume of the more popular hallways was still heard in echos, but it was the most silence she was going to get until the school cleared completely of students later in the day.

It was a few brief moments of solitude, a break from the noise constantly swirling around her head. Peace.

She hadn’t even noticed her eyes closed, her steps slowing to a slow shuffle as the few minutes she had alone ticked away. They only opened with a new sound, a sharp scraping across the tile. A flash of black, and a familiar face sped around the corner with careless speed.

Jake.

Back in their freshman year, he was riding the same scooter down the halls and nearly knocked her head against the wall. It was only a surprising moment of grace that saved her from a trip to the nurse, but it left an impression. A few more near-misses of interaction, a few shared classes where they didn’t say a word. It was stupid that she let herself feel the way she did, it was even more stupid that she never acted on it in the years they had spent in proximity. 

Mom’s voice was in her head, the same advice that was given hours after her first run in with the mysterious boy from the hallways. The same advice that was readily given each and every time Marley complained about her desire to talk with him ever since then.

It was only now that Marley realized that saying now or never wasn’t the same as feeling now or never. Now that the time to act was truly running out, the words couldn’t be restrained. Even if she had tried to hold it back, her lips were moving far before her mind had caught up.

“You’re Jake, right?” Her sudden confidence was too late, her words drowned as he streaked past her. 

No hesitation, no pause. Not even a turn around. A few moments later, and he turned down another hallway. Towards the biology and chemistry rooms, probably heading towards the one exit that the school always forgot to alarm.

“Good things going for me.” She muttered under her breath, another sting in her chest with the reminder repeating in her head. 

He didn’t even look at you, he didn’t even look at you.

--------------------------------------

“One more, Jake.”

The last straggler, Greg. He had a spot at the bar since the first shift at the factory had let out, racking up drink order after drink order. Only bits and pieces of his sob story had spilled out throughout the night, more than enough for Jake to know that the tab wouldn’t be paid off tonight. Last call had been thirty minutes ago, the rest of the patrons had left to carry on at their own houses and let him close in peace.  

“No,” It was a simple enough answer, and probably the expected answer since Grad had pulled this stint a handful of times since Jake took ownership of the bar a few years ago. Whatever confidence the liquid courage granted him, it was enough for him to try his luck again.

“C’mon,” The man slumped back in the chair, obviously not realizing the glazed look in his eye giving away his true state. The half-on tie didn’t help either, on the whole it was almost like watching a used car salesman that got dropped in a washer. Sad, pathetic, but a small part of him wanted to laugh. “You tellin’ me you have something going on the rest of the night?”

A single push of his palm pressed the cash drawer into the machine, the mechanical latch grinding into place. Likely going to need replaced in the next few years, not immediate enough to happen during the upcoming fiscal cycle. He was still in the red from the past few months of stagnant patrons, no reason to push the non-emergent. It was still a useful enough tactic to break any train of thought coming out of drunk patrons, especially once they started comparing lives to his.

“Keys.” Jake didn’t glance over, instead moving his hands to fastening the rest of the bottle stoppers. A few beats of silence, and he did meet Greg with a knowing look. His face white, the red flush from the beer disappeared. It was a quick way to get people out of the building, even if they had to walk. “You got a place nearby to sober up?”

A groan. “Yeah, Mike’s staying late in the shop.”

“Guess you better get going, that’s a block and a half away.” It was almost satisfying getting an eyeroll in response. The customer service aspect of bars usually took this route. “Keys.” A small reminder, met with the sound of metal hitting the bartop. 

“You’re a son of a bitch, you know that?”

“A son of a bitch that’ll let you shift some money around so your wife doesn’t find out how much you’ve spent here tonight.” That did the trick, well enough for a chuckle to come out of the poor man. “You have a week, I mean it.”

“Sure, sure.” He stood up from the bar stools, confirming Jake’s suspicion to take the keys away early. A few steps, nodding along to the promises to pay the tab off in full. Another promise to pay extra, a couple of empty notions that would be forgotten by the morning. It was all heard before, the same routine each time.

“You know,” Greg’s face was serious this time, probably some other attempt at coming up with a grand gesture of appreciation. It looked like he was sending a probe deep into his mind, obviously coming back empty. The uncomfortably long beat ended with the hint of a smirk, stench of Jack hitting Jake’s face like a wall. “Maybe you’ll have a missus one day, then I’ll repay the favor.”

The clenched jaw in response was a well enough warning, with Greg slipping out the door before fully finishing the sentence. Jake watched from the glass door front as Greg took a few stumbling steps down the block, quickly passing the dark alleyways and disappearing from view.

“Asshole.”

The rest of the street was quiet, at least from the view of the front door, an occasional car passing by and the hum of the heating unit out back. A quiet night that was common enough for the line between calming and purgatory was blurred. Tens of thousands of dollars spent turning the downtown streets into the city’s attempt of an entertainment hub. The replaced streetlights and sidewalk didn’t change the core of Lima’s marketing problem: nobody past the age of twelve ever wanted to stay. Those that did were disenchanted with the idea of pretending, leaving the streets dead.

The minute most people turned eighteen, they followed the closest college acceptance letter out of the state. One by one, until all that was left were the warm bodies keeping the basic infrastructure of the town alive. That’s where he came in; someone had to give the poor suckers in town a place to escape home.

Get a grip. The thoughts were shaken off, left on the floor to be swept up later. 

One hand reached up to turn the deadbolt of the door, latching it as the other hand reached for the switch to the outdoor sign. The same motion he did on every closing shift, but with one glance out the window his eyes froze on a sight across the street. A flash of blonde, meant to be hidden under a grey hoodie. A face he hadn’t seen in almost a decade.

That was a lie, but barely. It was a face he saw constantly, almost to the point of being sick of it. She always looked different than she did in high school, she changed her hair and it was on the front page of a magazine. Internet articles were the first to start popping up, the occasional editorial by the local newspaper whenever they caught wind of the girl from Lima living in Los Angeles. Then the music found it’s way over here, and the town may have well caught on fire. Everybody was seeing her photos at award shows, photo shoots, concerts. It took over a year before he listened to anything himself, and he had run out of excuses to avoid it six months before that. All the articles about multi-platinum albums, Billboard singles, awards with the qualifier of “youngest ever” before them. She was kind of a legend around here, the girl that got out. Not only that, she was the girl that got out and made it. 

Marley.

The door couldn’t open fast enough, by the time he felt the outside air on his skin and called out her name again she was already inside her car and starting to leave the parking lot. He still heard it echo back to him, bouncing off the concrete walls with nobody else to hear it.

She was in a hurry, enough of a hurry to nearly run to her car from the late-night convenience store. The last anyone remembered seeing her within Lima city limits was graduation, but now she was here again. In town, in the middle of the night, running from a convenience store in a piss-poor attempt at a disguise. He could see peering over her shoulder as she reversed out of the parking lot, a clearer look at her face. 

“Marley!” He called again, but she put the car in gear and drove down the street. Just like that, the street was once again quiet and frozen. 

She didn’t even turn around. He was alone again, the dark wood of his bar barely lit with the fluorescent lights. Most had given up hope that she’d ever acknowledge her history with the little Ohio town post-graduation, but she was here again. She was here, and she was definitely hiding.

The switch to the outside sign flipped, the buzz of the neon sign died. Why didn’t she turn around?

[tiffany-loves-broadway]

Characters from Worm and Ward as @dril_gpt2 tweets

Wildbow: i wrote the post. sorry everyone.

Emma:  You fucking worm. Youre a foul, stinking rat. Fanart is pure garbage.

Skitter, pre-Leviathan:  my followers are wasting my time by asking me stupid shit like "where is my worm hole" and "where is my piss hole"

Tattletale:  13 Reasons Why Sasquatch Is Real

Bitch:  you know society is ASS-FUCKED when people spend tens of millions of dollars to maim and disfigure their dogs in an effort to appear more "INTP"

Panacea: im going to dress up like a nurse and perform emergency C-sections on the street to build self respect

Coil, on Dinah: Everything you say is true and good. no exceptions

Miss Militia: the idea that i would ever lose my shit on the computer board game "minesweeper" is one of the most despicable maladies ive ever suffered

Skitter, post-Leviathan: to the guy who paid me to distribute free toilet paper to the homeless in my hometown: thanks for 00000000000 \000 \000 .

Jack Slash: the human mind... is a funny little thing... called A Mind

Crawler: my ass has become highly immunized against fungal infections, by ingesting fantastic amounts of kfc

Cherish: sending my most powerful kiss to any image of blue jeans because i just want to die by suicide because my brain and body are FUCKED

Dragon: ...the US Navy's newest computer chip can now program itself to 'Play Pokemon' and evolve into a Pokemon with it ....

Simurgh: saddened to see that people woud gravitate towards gaming as a career path, rather than exclusively gravitate towards gaming during a time of crisis

Perdition: *does the dishes in reverse for shock value*

Watchdog:  INTRODUCTION TO THE GUILD OF THINKERS 1. who are these people whose opinions are worth less than mine to keep me away from the toilet 2. how do i add 3D effects to my hair 3. WHO CARES I DIDNT ADD 3D SHADES TO MY JUGGLY

Greg: well gotta go with the old adage "Dont forget to feed the trolls"

Valefor: causing your dick to hurt because you have too much respect for the Virgin Mary to engrave "666" onto the back of your dick

Weaver: I will do the right thing, and delete all my posts about eating maggots

Behemoth:  *glances towards the camera slowly becoming more and more skeletal*

Tecton: Geology is Theory. Geology is not Fact.

Heartbreaker:  me fucking ruining another wedding by asking the bride to marry me for $6. its just too hard

Glenn Chambers: the most important part of being a content producer is being able to mentally picture the Brands' Emblems on your fridge and never missing a Brand Point Update

Glenn Chambers, on Skitter: "i firmly believe that bugs should be banned," i continue, letting the video conclude. "But…" i pause to collect myself, "but…" i increase the volume

Riley: im sorry but how can i reconcile my increasingly loathsome behaviors with the cheerful, bubbly manner in which i am marketed

Clockblocker: according to wikipedia, the bed bugs and human fly larvae that burrow into my skin and organs are my soul mate

Andrew Richter: i am truly devastated to announce that the y2k bug is now officially classified as a feature

Scion:  1) Kill all the people 2)

The Elite:  to the distrusted: To the disappointed: Towards the hungry: I will not trade places with you. Good bye.

Eden:  As an evolved being I want to fuck Humankind

Khepri:  my followers are nothing but worms, trying to devour me alive , my only value is that i make people mad

Pandora:  i've been itching to get online for a while now, and i finally did it. this is the ultimate sacrifice

Bitch, with Biter:  i have the brain of a small dog and the asshole of a college educated adult

Valkyrie, on Clockblocker, Kid Win, and Grue: The "Boys" are back! They're back from the dead

Victoria Dallon, looking for work: After finding out that my followers believed that doctors should be allowed to force me to eat grass, i vowed never to read any posts from you all again

Seir: the "minor girls" jokes is one of the few parts of the Alabama Republican Platform That I actually respect, and wouldn't change a word

Mama Mathers:  god grant me th e ability to send very strong, very small particles of information through the air into the eyeballs of <- targeted <-

Tattletale, on clusters: blood transfusions vs gunshot wounds - the jury is still out on which one is "good"

Sidepiece: here comes that ass hole. here comes that spleen. here comes that gut. *spits out another mouthful of food turds* wow. im pretty good at kicking ass

Nursery: How To Make Hugs Out Of Anything - Essential book for new Mommers

Foil: You've heard of Small Arms Firepower, but did you Know Small Arms Penetration Power?

Love Lost: Fear not, a tiny speaker attached to my gas mask will allow me to better understand the emotions of my followers

Ratcatcher:  Rats Are Life Forms Too Sub-Genius

Custodian: i demand now that complete and utter silence be accorded to the hideous sonic boogie man who has inhabited my thoughts for 17 years.

Teacher: micropenis Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater

Valkyrie, on Furcate: i am fucking thrilled that my daughter is becoming ultra-sensitive to light after undergoing sex reassignment surgery. she is the most POWERFUL KISS GIRL yet

Ingenue: my nudes... have helped me tremendously in my career, and... i'm extremely Pleased...

Cradle: brain death huh. Not good. Not good at all.

Negotiator Shard:  strapped to an eyeball looking for the peak of Mt. Doom, not realizing that all the eyeballs are now gnawing

Red Queen:  I think that for every person who tells me that they like my posts i should be able to kill about 8 people

SpaceBattles:  im classified as a Mature writer, 1) I cannot handle discussion of sexual matters 2) I am unlikely to read a book of 100,000 words without destruc[ing myself physically)

Eric:  i help girls by inventing and selling "I helped a girl" tshirts. i have a very good following

Parian:  in mourning the passing of my grandmother, i will gladly accept donations to pay for her "Face lift".

Gimel Checkpoint Attendants:  #DollarsShit the US Dollar has devalued, and is the currency of scum, and shit

Antares, at the crystals:  a giant screen saver depicting my entire fucking body changing into a huge wad of spaghetti

[that-guy-sleepy-miles]

Funnel Ghosts The CrackerJack Circus

Many things with Funnel could be classified as...odd. It was normal to Poppy, of course, after being with the boss for so long he'd just accepted his oddities with open arms.

This was not one of those times. Funnel had all sorts of down moments, from simple depressive spurts to loud relapses, and the members of the CrackerJack Circus could tell what type of day it was just by looking at Funnel.

The problem was, they hadn't seen Funnel today. Or yesterday. Or the day before that. Or all week. It was sending the normally..well chaotic but doable flow of the circus into a complete mad house.

Dog Biscuit had gotten snapper, with something most of the clowns called her 'dog's anxiety'. She seemed...fretful, which Poppy decided wasn't a good look on her usually excited face.

SongBird was anxiety shedding, if the feathers left in every nook and cranny of the circus had anything to say about it. Poppy had started picking them up and putting them in a box, to keep the number of feathers a tent down to at least 15. Where did SongBird even have all these feathers?

Pirouline's soft but commanding way of making sure everyone wasn't destroying the circus by being a bunch of idiots was only barely hanging on, as she spent most of her time worrying just where Funnel is. He'd never been gone for a week before, and it had her in a frenzy. Cookies don't just disappear after all,....right?

Roasted Chestnut was entirely thrown off his game. He just couldn't focus with that little nibbling anxiety with in his brain. It practically forced it's way into every thought, like a flat earther in a geology discussion.

He and Dog Biscuit had practically been at each other's throats, all sharp words and glares. Poppy was more then done with it, but even he knew that something was up.

Fact is...Funnel kept them all stuck together, because face it, his circus had a bunch of crackheads in it, but the crackheads work well together, as long as there's enough crack. And their crack (Funnel) was gone.

Poppy had tried to reach out to him, but nothing was answered. Not texts, calls, calling for him outside of his 'little Funnel space', not banging on his window like a zombie in a horror movie, nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

Poppy was officially freaking out now, because Funnel just disappeared, and that was the scariest thing ever. Nothing even compared. Not feral moments, or occasion spurts of the 'Ringmasters Rage', nothing even came close to the pure terror this tore through Poppy's heart.

So he kicked the door in. It'd been a stupid idea, and he definitely didn't like what he saw.

Funnel Cake cookie has..many looks. Poppy had learned to love...most of them, but this was downright terrifying. It wasn't horrifying in the normal sense, but that's what made it scarier.

Funnel was curled into a shaking ball, and the whole room was in shreds. He was pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth.

Poppy could hear a low mantra of "I'm good. I'm a good cookie. I'm good. I'm a good cookie...i'm good." Funnel's voice was hoarse and cracked, but he continued on.

Poppy advanced slowly, noticing how the low words got quicker and faster as he approached.

"B-boss? Funnel?..." He asked quietly, hands exposed to Funnel. He didn't have anything.

Funnel's eyes flicked to him, and back down to the floor, the rushed mantra getting louder, faster, slurred. Poppy could barely keep up with what was happenin-

He stepped on a crinkled piece of paper, and the noise got him a loud hiss. He removed his foot, and looked down. There had to be hundreds of papers, all in different states of disrepair. They littered the ground, and from what Poppy could see, they all have the same thing scrawled across them

I'm a good cookie.

Over and over again, covering all sides of the papers, scrawled in pen, pencil, strawberry jam, just about everything that could be written with. Poppy had gone from terribly concerned back to horrified again.

"Funnel- Funnel what is this?" He asked quietly advancing again, hands still outstretched.

Funnel looked up at him, face covered in caramel-coated tears. Poppy let out a tiny gasp, at the sharp teeth protruding from Funnel's mouth.

"P-p-poppy...kid....am i a good cookie? What if i mess up again- Poppy- i-.." Funnel started, but his words died off.

Poppy had seen Funnel breakdowns. They had many different ways of presenting themselves. But this...this was new.

He moved closer, just close enough to sit down close, but still give Funnel his room.

"B-Boss, of course you're a good cookie. You're one of the best cookies i know...just, what happened?" Poppy wasn't..good at this. He could calm Funnel down, sure, but this was something he couldn't really work with.

Funnel sniffled, moving just a bit closer and leaning against Poppy. Poppy was confused for a second, and then he got it. He wrapped his arms around Funnel and sighed.

Poppy nuzzled his face into Funnel's hair, as Funnel grabbed one of Poppy's hands. He looked it over, earning a soft chuckle from Poppy.

"What are you doing, boss?"

Funnel pulled the hand closer, opening his jaws just a little too wide.....

"B-boss?!"

Funnel Cake Bit. Poppy Seed screamed

(@ask-funnel-cake-cookie )

(Stuttery, i sent my warning. Muhahahahhaha)

(Basically:

Poppy: Wow Funnel's been gone a while

Everyone: Yup. Lets get anxious

Poppy: Yall smart

Poppy: Breaking down Funnel's door like wow

Funnel: Crazy Talk Crazy Talk Crazy Talk

Poppy: Sweet jesus, you need a hug

Funnel: Biting your fucking hand off bitch >:3 rawr òwó)

[rappaccini]

so i spent the last like... week and half watching all the barbie movies that fall within the bounds of my childhood.

barbie in the nutcracker

the cgi? dated as fuck

but the art direction? beautiful

the music? beautiful

the story? i mean it’s basically an adaptation of the ballet, so it’s that but with action scenes

tim curry as the rat king? dude’s having so much fun with it.

the sugar plum castle sequence.

the war-torn gingerbread village.

the ICE GIANT.

a very fuckable nutcracker. 

a sweet and genuine romance between clara and the nutcracker.

predicting the cave sequence in the last jedi. what kind of sorcery.

some Hm elements to the side characters that i don’t feel educated enough on the history of the nutcracker as a ballet to weigh more on. suffice to say... there’s a History there that unsettles me a bit.

9.5/10

barbie as rapunzel

tangled stole so much from this i fucking can’t.

the Feuding Kingdoms Whose Kings Were Once Best Friends, Whose Children Fall In Love? omggggg i’m SOAKED.

the ART.

the scene where rapunzel wanders around the city for the first time? my heart!

the MAKEOVER SEQUENCE. the ONLY one that’s good.

the genuinely menacing mother gothel.

the super-interesting manor house location.

the mysterious secret passage to the town being hella atmospheric.

animal sidekicks that aren’t annoying at all, and are actually wonderfully enjoyable personalities. 

otto that BITCH

straight man bunny boy

penelope is baby

the dragon father and daughter breaking the mold of intergenerational cycles of abuse. love it.

penelope slowly gaining confidence by taking comfort in her friends and taking them seriously when they say they love and value her.

rapunzel as a character and her innate goodness, which is never punished or belittled by the film.

the magic used to imprison rapunzel after she started to assert her independence and find people who cared about her REFUSING to contain her on the grounds that she Did Nothing Wrong in the first place, and that her abuser was wrong for having wanted to contain her in the first place. why am i crying.

10/10

barbie of swan lake

plot that’s meh and kid sidekicks that are... pushing the annoying envelope a bit but pull back just enough to work

beautiful settings, beautiful music, atmospheric af rothbart lair, and a decent romance between dan and odette.

also the Badass Older Sister? love her. love that she and odette get to be so different and the story doesn’t put them in an acceptability hierarchy.

and the good magic v evil magic war for succession of the enchanted forest throne lore drop is lit too. i’d watch the SHIT out of fairy game of thrones.

... wait. did the queen and rothbart....... were they...... did they.

7.7/10

barbie in the princess and the pauper

cheesy acting, cheesy music but omg so enjoyable.

the villain preminger is a goddamn meme please someone help me

love that anneliese loves geology and is a big ol nerd who also happens to be super fashionable and no one says shit about it.

LOVE that the queen’s in charge of the country, and no one questions it. 

LOVE that anneliese actually has to grapple with the kingdom being in financial danger and come to terms with the less pleasant aspects of royal duty being totally acceptable if its for the greater good.

animal sidekicks that aren’t annoying and have a romance i was Very invested in for some reason.

THIS MUSIC????? all the songs are disney-renaissance-tier.

even though the villain song is a bit cringey it’s so memeable that i love it anyway.

so erika and anneliese are... fantastic friends. but i also ship them. but i also enjoy their love interests a lot. beautiful.

anneliese living her teacher kink like the legend she is.

rich fuckable king dom disguising himself as a commoner to get to know the princess he was going to marry, and still being just as much of a softboy as he was in disguise??? HOT

dom being cool with erika wanting to pursue her career before getting married??? 

10.0/10. 

give them the academy award for best picture right now.

also the tie-in pc game for this was lit. 

barbie: fairytopia

the beginning of the fairytopia cinematic universe

elina being a fairy without wings, and actually having to... struggle with everyday life and with others picking on her for it? love that.

and being valuable because she has no wings???? wow LOVE that.

what a neat world. 

what a neat power structure???? fairy politics????? okaaaayy?????

what a great villain?????????? i LOVE laverna.

“let them go, they don’t have anything you want”

“not true, they have your love”

................................... this warmed my cold dead heart.

bibble... was.... yeah not a big fan of him. but we needed someone for elina to talk to during the movie so i guess he had to stay.

butterfly man Ripped. 

no love interest, and no need for one. but flirting with a hot merman. mmmmmmm that merman. his eyebrows. his seaweed sash. mmm.

7.0/10

would’ve been a 10/10 until the end.

minus points for elina getting wings as a reward. she was enough as she was, and it’s... a yikestastic message the movie ends on. that if you work hard enough, eventually your disability will be Cured as a reward for your good work, and you will be accepted and loved and prettier after you are cured. fuck that.

barbie and the magic of pegasus

a completely original plot that... actually is really compelling and well-done. 

man. it gets dark at points and i respect that.

the parents being extremely controlling

the nightmare fuel of having your entire town and family petrified 

the NIGHTMARE FUEL of everything that could possibly go wrong going wrong on the One Night you go out on your own for the first time. your parents find out and publicly humiliate you, you get creeped on by a gross old man who wants to hurt you, everyone gets literally petrified... holy fuck.

a gross old man trying to pressure you into a relationship only to use you up and enslave you and move on to a younger prettier girl? 

realizing your family has Dark Fucking Secrets like an older sibling you didn’t know about who was driven away from the family by a crazy man, and living for sixteen years on her own cursed to take the form of a horse?

the iceberg?

the forest? 

the evil palace?

the avalanche

the fucking.... pawn shop guy????? 

baby el had NIGHTMARES about pawn shop guy and adult el GETS why.

it’s... got all these shades of pre-disneyfied dark fairy tales and i love it

aidan the BEST love interest. 

brietta and rayla.... ok there’s a vibe here and idk how i feel abt it bc it’d mean rayla’s dating a literal horse.

annika failing to channel the power of her wand bc she was acting from a place of anger and hate, and only being able to defeat the villain with genuine love for her friends and family and an earnest desire to protect them, and handing him over to the women who he abused to let them invoke their own justice on him? oh love that.

9.9/10

-0.1 for the tie-in pc game being... very bland.

barbie fairytopia: mermaidia

the fairytopia cinematic universe entry 2.

elina and prince hot merman had so much chemistry omg.

elina and nori’s friendship is great. glad that there was no love triangle bs, and that elina was like ‘anyway. friends’ the second she found out her friend had feelings for prince hot merman. 

i’m sad that elina/prince hot merman isn’t canon, but i’m also glad that it isn’t happening bc elina snatches him from his girlfriend.

the... abyss... with the seaweed. terrified baby el.

lit underwater worldbuilding.

laverna 2 return of laverna

still dislike that she has wings. like that she becomes a mermaid, but dislike that she gets wings back, and not just Nice Wings but Even Prettier Wings. would have preferred for wingless elina to still deal with shit from the fairies and find belonging with the merpeople. 

8.6/10

the barbie diaries

... it sure was... a movie.

points for experimentation. and neat music.

lip gloss highlighter. the ingenuity. 

6.5/10

barbie in the twelve dancing princesses

they took an obscure fairy tale and fucking transformed it man

there’s a dead mom but her deadness actually matters and isn’t brushed over, and everyone feels her loss acutely, and her Mysterious Magical Past causes the plot. like who was she???? how did she know about the magical world???

all twelve of them have distinct interests, if not full personalities. how the fuck. and all of them interact so well.

they genuinely love each other and enjoy one anothers company, but have different dynamics depending on who they’re with, and preferred siblings. 

derek’s... an ok love interest. he’s nice and respectful but kinda bland. the fact that all the sisters are supportive of the relationship is what makes it work so well. and that he drops it all to help gen and her sisters when they need him.

randolph loooooves his daughters so much

a dad? showing a deep sense of love and affection for his daughters and not condescending to them or holding their emotions or interests against them? no wonder this is fantasy.

rowena? what a bitch! poisoning their dad? what a BITCH! great antagonist.

hate that monkey. 

desmond.... definitely fucks. 

great message about responsibility.

9.7/10

pls give derek a bit more edge.

and -0.1 for the tie-in pc game having the WORST voice acting and being very bland.

barbie fairytopia: magic of the rainbow

fairytopia cinematic universe #3

elina getting into fairy politics? like that

still dislike that she’s got wings.

still dislike that she gets an Even Prettier set of wings.

seriously. would’ve preferred for wingless elina to be brought into the fold and valued as she was. not having wings didn’t make her less of a person. 

actual... long-term growth for elina as a character having ramifications in the sequel? love that development

laverna 3 truly what a villain this FROG BITCH won’t give up! keep at it! 

ok overall.

7.4/10

barbie as the island princess

... not a big fan of the trope this takes part in given the Implications, but sure i’ll go w it for now.

man these songs. love em.

man this setting. love it.

... why is ro... living on a tropical island... wearing a white minidress. why is it white. how is it this clean. it would’ve been better if she’d have been wearing green. i can’t get past this.

not a fan of how quickly ro becomes conventionally feminine. she adapts to wearing pretty clothes and makeup so fast and while i appreciate that she doesn’t consider femininity frivolous or weak, and likes looking pretty, i... wish that she just kept to being plain. it would fit more with her personality and be a stronger message for the child target audience.

not a big fan of the Secret Royalty trope but it works here. LOVE that the mom’s the one who gets the reunion with her daughter.

a mom? showing a deep sense of love and appreciation for her daughter? not looking down on her for the way she was raised and her peculiarities, but loving her wholly for who she is and being grateful to have her in her life again?

no wonder this is fantasy.

luciana being super civil and kind to ro, despite ro kinda sorta flying in and ruining her chances of ever being with prince whatshisname? love that.

luciana being the one to call out evil momtagonist? LOVE that.

animal sidekicks that are actually fleshed-out characters? nice.

7.2/10

barbie: mariposa

fairytopia cinematic universe #why

the existence of butterfly fairies is a retcon and a bit of a plot hole given that elina has butterfly fairy wings and isn’t one

ok characters all around

but i do like that mariposa gets her prince love interest, and that she goes on such a journey with her initially bitchy bosses, who learn to care about and respect her.

and that she’s extremely introverted and bookish and is appreciated for it by the love interest, and doesn’t Get Over It and become a social butterfly, but quietly gains confidence on her own terms.

still. it felt.... unnecessary.

pretty to look at though

5.7/10

barbie & the diamond castle

iconic opening.

... this is a very, very gay movie. 

i know it’s about friendship, and i’m cool with their friendship and i love it, but... they... are a couple. 

animal sidekicks cute and not too annoying. good work.

love the history of the muses, who were... very gay.

love the jealousy plot

also? lit music. not as iconic as princess and the pauper but no one will ever ascend to that level.

mixed feelings about the ‘alexa is Wrong And Bad for wanting financial stability despite having spent years in poverty and having recently had to flee her totally-destroyed home and give up her livelihood because she was being chased by a dragon’

she’s not wrong and she’s not bad for wanting to be safe. 

liana and alexa are... god they’re a COUPLE. they literally threw the twin bros in there just to give them a beard and for that i have to subtract points

6.9/10

barbie in a christmas carol

... yeah didn’t love it. but big points for making barbie the antagonist. her RANGE.

6.5/10

barbie: thumbelina

the message is good but.... oh man. ohhh man. not a fan of this one. it was a chore to sit through.

4.5/10

points for the Environment Good message. that’s it.

barbie and the three musketeers 

love that there are four friends, and that they all have their own Special Skill and Signature Color and talents that work into their being a much stronger team. love the chemistry between them.

love that corine wants to be a musketeer, and gets to live her dream.

not a fan of the romance. just felt kinda eh and could have completely done without it.

love that the love interest is a dorky science geek though. it’s nice for them to have interests.

dislike that they’re... basically the secret service to the french monarchy. i mean... i was thinking about the guillotine the whole time and that rly bugged me. 

cat sidekick was unnecessary. horse sidekick was unnecessary.

but the training sequence was fucking lit.

love the implication that there were other secret lady musketeers in the past, and that the girls’ mentor is an old woman.

also as someone who was raised around horses.... you cannot climb onto a horse by leaping onto its ass when it’s back is to you. it will panic, buck, and kick your skull in. immersion broken. electric chair!

7.1/10

there are like twelve other movies but they fall beyond the Childhood Cutoff Date so that’s where i end my investment. 

these movies rly do stand up with time, for the most part. they’re enjoyable, full of heart, and filled with female protagonists who are never punished for their femininity, who have varied personalities and interests but all share an earnest desire to do good and are rewarded for their compassion. they’re surrounded by other women who are just as varied and complicated as they are and have a variety of relationships to them; they’re not just all friendly or all mean. if they have a love interest, he’s secondary to her. antagonists are varied, and just as often male as they are female. i’m saying all of this because... man. we don’t really get this, do we? ugh barbie writers your brains!!!!!

[phylumhearts]

Fic You Wont Write Meme: "3+5+10," a university au where Aeleus, Dilan and Luxord are messing around in the coffee shop and Luxord (accounting major) and Dilan (engineering major) are both roasting Aelaeuus (geology major) about being better at math than him, but like, in a fun boyfriend way, not a mean way.

ok you totally did all the work for me here but here’s some more thoughts:

It’s not that Aeleus doesn’t understand math, or that he gets problems wrong, he just does them slowly. This particular roast was initiated when he intentionally let several people cut in front of him in line while he counted out the exact change for his coffee. 

Initially they’re dramatically theorising over what’s happening in his head while he takes so long. His attempt at defending himself just fans the flames (”I just want to be certain,” he says. “I just want to take less than twenty minutes to order a coffee,” Dilan replies) so he just chuckles at them while they attempt to one-up each other’s wild overestimations of how long he takes to do tasks. (”I’m sorry sir,” says Dilan in their best talking-to-clients voice, “I know these designs are time-critical but I insist on re-checking all the figures and I’m afraid that will take another seven hours.” “Now let’s be fair to him,” says Luxord, “by a geologic clock seven hours is no time at all!”) When they run out of steam and start feeling a little bad for him they turn flirty but they’re not completely done with the roasting (”Nothing makes the heart flutter like a man who’s certain where he stands,” sighs Luxord, swooning.)

Eventually Aeleus speaks, claiming that his carefulness with day-to-day maths serves him well, perhaps better than some.“Is that so? Would you deign to enlighten us?” asks Dilan, dramatic bitch levels maxed out from proximity to Luxord.“Before I came here, I checked my timetable and the walking time to my class. I have,” he checks his watch with a little more flourish than usual, “five minutes until I have to leave. When’s your next class, Dilan?” Dilan checks their phone. Their face drops.“You knew! You know my timetable and you...” they trail into incomprehensible grumbling as they gather their stuff together. “I suppose I deserve it. I’ll see you two demons later.” Luxord cackles as Dilan dispenses forehead kisses and hurries out. End scene.

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [514]

“So. Now we know, no Qunari can leave the ship while we’re in this planet’s…influence,” Evelyn says.

“Because the locals are zealous cultists who believe creatures with horns must be bled and sacrificed to their local sun god?” Sera asks. “Yeah. Now we know. And now we know why this place hasn’t been explored by the intergalactic coalitions and stuff. Do you know how many types of people there are with horns out there? Like. Literal hundreds. Some of them even have hundreds of horns. These guys would lose their entire minds if they met one of them. Just go fuckin’ crazy.”

“Are you okay?” Ellana asks, walking circles around the Iron Bull and checking him over. “Did they get you? Is everything where it should be? Do you need Stitches?”

“The person or actual sutures?” Bull asks and then puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her from leaving. “That was a joke. I’m fine. They didn’t get me. Adaar, you good?”

“I think they cut some of my hair,” Herah says, tilting her head to look into a mirror Kaaras is holding up for her. “Fuck. Do you think I could pull off a look like Aclassi’s? They actually got to some of my hair.”

Herah frowns.

“Do you think Josephine would think I’m too butch if I had short hair?”

“I think Josephine would love you no matter what kind of hair you have,” Kaaras says, blinking drowsily. Lucky they didn’t give him enough drugs or whatever it was they were force feeding people. Kaaras has an unexpectedly strong constitution for someone who panics over the slightest noises. One would think that he panics because he knows that he’s in danger, rather than panicking at the possibility of a hindrance. “There are five of you right now and I’m not sure if I’m aiming the mirror at the right you.”

“Why is he here?” Evelyn asks.

“Well,” Sera says. “The medical wing is full up. And he’s standing. So that’s a good sign.”

“I don’t want to be standing,” Kaaras says. Herah reaches out and steadies him as he starts to lean too far to his left. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine,” Herah says. “You think I can comb this part over?”

“You’re really not hurt?” Ellana says, patting Bull down. “Does it hurt anywhere? I don’t see blood.”

“You got to them before they could cut his dick off,” Herah says. “I think that was the first time I ever saw fear in him.”

“Shut up.”

“Is your weenie still okay?” Ellana asks, eyes zeroing in on Bull’s groin. “I know your weenie is very important to you.”

Bull covers his face with his hand. “She’s lying. My dick is fine. It was never in any danger. She’s fucking with you.”

Herah snickers.

“Herah, that isn’t funny, I’m very worried about my person right now,” Ellana protests. “I’m very likely to take anything you say seriously.”

“Shut it,” Bull growls before Herah can say anything else. “Or I’ll finish that haircut they started on you.”

-

“Literally, the only thing that’s made the past few months on this ship bearable is the fact that I get to watch the Iron Bull and Dorian Pavus verbally duke it out over the stupidest shit and you’re telling me you’re taking that away?” Sera asks.

“Them constantly fighting over little things isn’t a good thing,” Evelyn says. “It’s very taxing to morale and bad for our cohesiveness as a team.”

Sera turns around to look behind herself.

“Are you reading off a teleprompter? Who’s feeding you these lines?”

“Sera.”

“What? I’m just saying. Their banter and tiffs are entertaining. Sometimes that’s all I get to hear for literal hours in the absolute void of space.”

“It’s not healthy, Sera.”

“Neither is sitting in a vacuum of sound,” Sera points out. “Where are you sending Pavus?”

“I’m sending Dorian on a research expedition to recently re-opened Dark Spawn sector,” Evelyn says. “The Wardens have cleared it for passage and I want him to do a comparison on the biology pre and post Blight and if there’s anything further we can learn to counter-act the Red Lyrium effects.”

“Sounds dangerous, but why’s he on that job? He’s not much for chemistry and geology and shit.”

“No, but he is a biologist,” Evelyn says. “And a pathologist. I’m sending him in with Mahanon and Ellana to see if they can capture any wildlife or find some sort of trace evidence of foul play.”

“You’re telling me that not only are you splitting up my only entertainment but you’re also sending Bull’s person away with Dorian Pavus?” Sera groans. “Did you call me in to tell me Saturnalia’s been cancelled and we don’t get holidays, too?”

“No, I called you in here to tell you that while Mahanon is away I’m putting you in charge of the ship’s fly-by support drones,” Evelyn replies dryly. “Unless you wanted me to find some bad news to give you.”

“Nope, I’m good,” Sera says. “But seriously. You’re going to split Bull and Ellana up after taking away Pavus? It’s going to either be silent as the literal void of space on this ship or nothing but Bull’s bitching. Can I just switch back to the main ship?”

“We have three more weeks doing observation in this sector until we can head back,” Evelyn says. “De Fer’s work is almost done and Cassandra’s almost finished hammering out a line of communication with the locals.”

“I still can’t believe that Pentaghast of all people got in charge of communications for this expedition,” Sera wrinkles her nose.

“Do you have a better candidate in mind?” Evelyn raises an eyebrow. “Of the high ranking officers currently on the Seekers vessel is there anyone here who would make a better communications and diplomatic outreach officer? Because it isn’t you. It isn’t Mahanon. It isn’t me. It’s not Bull or Ellana.”

Sera scowls. “Pavus.”

“Who’s about to be sent onto research mission? And before that was working assisting de Fer in her experiments? Nice try.”

“Ellana could’ve done it if we bribed her enough.”

“Sadly, we don’t have the budget for that this quarter,” Evelyn says. “There was that thing on Naiad and we needed extra money to hire per diem flyers. It was a mess. Report to the drone stations and check on things there. I’ve got to break the news to Bull that I’m sending both his rival and his person to a recently vacated Dark Spawn sector for the unforeseeable future. You do not want to be in here when I do that.”

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE ※

a thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college; these are all from my first semester of sophomore year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!

“The porn industry is moving swimmingly.”

“We all need men. Go find them.”

“It’s not an opera, bitches, it’s a flight.”

“Don’t look! It makes their dick bigger!”

“I have my own place and I can light as many candles as I want.”

“I’m not a librarian, sir.”

“How’s your sack lunch, bitch?”

“Stab me in the ass and turn me into Kim Kardashian.”

“I stayed up another hour just to cry.”

“I just got a nude and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“I’m gonna go stab my eyes out now.”

“We get it. You have a big truck and a small penis.”

“It’s an epidemic, Karter!”

“There’s no cups, so I’m using a bowl. To drink apple juice.”

“Fuck y’all, I’m eating Fruit Loops!”

“I don’t know my superhero name, but here I am with my can of Lysol and my plastic fork.”

“Your list of things to do includes making the best 2000s playlist of all time and fighting me at Cheesecake Factory.”

“This is borderline human abuse.”

“How do you feel about fluorescent lighting?”

“I’m sorry, I’m on a college budget, I’ll give you two nickels and a paper clip.”

“We couldn’t say hell, because… Catholic school problems.”

“I don’t want them to call me and be like, ‘we’re about to drill into your face!’”

“Ugh, yes, the hot TA, what club are you in?”

“My rat bastard dad? What about him?”

“I have an idea that I’m positive no other human has ever had: butter flavored ice cream.”

“I hate myself, but I’m funny, so…”

“This man loves puppies and he is not afraid to say it.”

“There’s just something about stale food that I really like.”

“I like how we’re watching our upcoming death on TV.”

“When I get wasted, I want to fight. It’s a problem.”

“My boyfriend got really drunk and started drinking nectar out of the hummingbird feeder.”

“He currently has a child.”

“That’s a good way of getting rid of a baby.”

“He can’t look at his dead parents or his alive children.”

“I can’t focus on reading, ‘cause I just wanna watch Drake and Josh.”

“My roommate loves manifestos. Especially the Communist Manifesto.”

“Have you studied his naked body or something?”

“Okay, we got our Greek tragic playwrights: there’s Sophocles… there’s Euripides… uh… Isosceles?”

“We’re so stupid we click things that say ‘click here for here’.”

“So there were just 95 loose pigs.”

“This is called shaming.”

“I can’t be the only person who says ‘meatballs and spaghetti’.”

“What could go wrong? …oh, shit, I’m on fire.”

“Don’t call Kourtney unless you wanna suck dick tonight.”

“There’s no one around. He’s talking to his dick.”

“Just ‘cause it’s Greek doesn’t mean it’s sophisticated.”

“I hate myself, but I hate her more.”

“I don’t know anything about it, but it has bread in the name, so I want to try it.”

“Just… don’t breathe this class.”

“Megan: secret crop top wearer.”

“I’m embracing my aesthetic while you’re embracing… Jon Hamm’s face.”

“What are we doing tonight besides homework? …and bread?”

“I’m witnessing a breakup right here in the Starbucks line.”

“I nominate Gushers as a snack suggestion, but, like, a lot of them. All of them.”

“I have a strong immune system.”

“I was so worked up about the bolo ties.”

“Also, I was wine drunk, so…”

“Does she hit him? I hope she hits him.”

“Only Matthew McConaughey drives Lincolns.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m totally a Republican… Pence is daddy…”

“After that… is the exact same thing… from a different angle.”

“All my life, I’ve been striving to be better than Kidz Bop.”

“Is ‘slaveitude’ a word?”

“Ted Bundy was attractive. People knew him.”

“I feel like whoever’s in charge of the Reese’s company is really high right now. Like, putting Reese’s inside of Reese’s.”

“One beer bottle on campus might be a problem, but if there’s 8, they’re props.”

“With elevators, it’s not claustrophobia. It’s that I don’t trust the government.”

“Headphones: in. World: out. Notes font: ugly.”

“You know that’s a felony, right?”

“That’s a… fourth or fifth impression kind of story.”

“That means she definitely fucked a member of Kiss.”

“I feel free, but also ugly.”

“This is my unassigned assigned seat, and if any of you take it, I will fight you.”

“I went to the Home Depot, bought a bunch of lights, put them up in the air, and said ‘this is art’.”

“Because I was a full New Yorker, I just kept walking.”

“We almost died, but our last meal would’ve been free, so…”

“What’s a funeral like in 2017? GIFs and memes.”

“I would like to thank not only God but also Tinder.”

“I sat through a 40 minute argument about how Justin Bieber started the Cold War.”

“I’m just walking down the hallway, thinking about ways to throw myself down the stairs and make it look like an accident.”

“Now, if it was Kidz Bop, I’d go see it.”

“Don’t name your kid Ethelwold.”

“Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes: a vision for America.”

“My dad’s not getting dick from anyone.”

“I’m a shady beach and y’all are my shady beaches.”

“Oh, no, don’t write that down…”

“At Chipotle, God himself picked those avocados and put them in the guacamole.”

“It should be a holiday: Ohio awareness day.”

“We should go to a nice place. A formal place. California Pizza Kitchen.”

“What do you do in geology lab? Dissect rocks?”

“What great weather for a mental breakdown.”

“He’s not computer generated; he’s actually that large.”

“I’ve done some soul searching and I think that ranch dressing is my favorite food.”

“I almost said his birthday was in 1926. It’s like, we got a little bit of an age gap.”

“Are you physically running away from the situation?”

“I will personally call Papa John to tell him that he’s the reason my life isn’t going right.”

“I can’t wait for middle-aged sex now.”

“I should’ve known, there aren’t two eclipses in a year!”

“I walked around with a bear taser for a year and a half.”

“I found out that the guy I have a restraining order against has been peeing on my car for two years.”

“He fought the devil in jeans and no shirt.”

“She threw my fucking pillow off of the balcony!”

“Tickets are for something fun. Paying the check is not fun.”

“It’s Halloween, calories don’t count on holidays.”

“Well, you know how I said we met in philosophy class? Well… Elise doesn’t take philosophy class.”

“You got it wrong. You said 56 point 2. The answer was 56 point 2.”

“Do I want that horrible sock tan line that I had for five years back? Yeah, I do.”

“I got drunk, threw up, got high, and came here.”

“It’s Titanic blue. I’m the Heart of the Ocean, bitch.”

“The only rat bastard in our lives is Russ.”

“The beats are so good, but the words are such trash.”

“I had to fight someone in the elevator yesterday.

“…I’ve awakened the Demigorgon.”

“We solved the great hiccup epidemic of 2017.”

“Watch out, Kansas, I’m coming for you.”

“Do not associate my birthday with math terms.”

“That’s some Hunger Games type shit.”

“Fuck y’all, I hope you trip and die.”

“I’m very confused and also cold: an American tale. A five part miniseries, this fall on HBO.”

“I am Mrs. Grey! Bring me the kink!”

“I really wanna make a shirt that’s all Comic Sans.”

“I was thinking about Panera’s mac and cheese in a bread bowl, and I started crying.”

“We’re gonna steal your WiFi, but it’s okay, because Panhellenic love.”

“I have confidence that you’re not gonna get pregnant within those two hours.”

“See if this card works. I mean, it should work, but, like…”

“I think my favorite part was slowly dying.”

“All they serve is chicken salad, so you really have to like chicken salad.”

“I have three papers and a test this week, I don’t have time for feelings to resurface.”

“I’m living a life. Not my best one.”

“When you write a report on a book you’ve never read.”

“Don’t tell me what to wear when you wear Crocs to the bar.”

“I have listened to literally nothing but Hallelujah and My Heart Will Go On all day today.”

“Oh my god, Elise, you fucking bitch, get your shit together, and write your paper.”

You know what I’m really devastated about? I’m all out of Fruit Roll-ups.”

“We’re gonna be teachers. We have school forever.”

“I don’t want your sympathy, I want your anger.”

“Clowns… doorknobs… the color yellow… ducks… I’m quoting Victorious…”

“Did you just say ‘hey Sophie’ to not include me? ‘Cause, guess what, bitch, I’m still here.”

“I live here, I know when we have salad!”

“I think Satan’s middle name is cumulative.”

“I will put up with my moose husband for however long I need.”

“I’ve literally been down here for an hour and a half waiting for these nonexistent cookies.”

“I’m keeping a detailed list of Elise’s hickeys.”

“I’m an adult, I say as I eat my Fruit Roll-up.”

“Oh, my practicum grade is in! Let’s see… 36.”

“SOS, I’m in bed and it’s so comfy, but I need to get up to study, what do I do?”

“Get up. Only a few more days until we can sleep all we want.”

“So you’re admitting you live in the woods.”

“I don’t know if it’s finals stress or if this is actually the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, but I’m crying.”

“It was optional, don’t make me feel bad for skipping class.”

“I’ve heard that, if enough people fail, they’ll have to curve it.”

“How do you even study for this?”

[digigal-transbian]

Better to?

Is it better to be alive and constantly miserable? Or dead and know peace?

If I fail a class this semester, there is an extremely high likelihood that i will be pulled out of college for financial reasons. If that happens I've been told I will have no choices, my life will be ultimately destroyed. The only job I'd be able to get is a minimum wage, soul crushing mindless existence. I'd never be able to afford a second chance at college. I'd never be able to survive on minimum wage, I'd have to get two jobs and even then I'd barely make ends meet.

And that's if I was able to get a second job. I'd never know love because I'd be too busy trying just to survive and after that too tired to function. 2 full time jobs is not exactly free to have feelings like love. And with who I am, finding someone would be a damn miracle and god has already proven he shall have no mercy on me.

And the gods know I'd never have a lucky break with writing or art, if I even had the time or energy to put into either of them.

Every check just going to not being dead for another week, stuck in a job or if I'm lucky, 2, that I hate, barely making ends meet, all because when I was 19 I got cocky and ended up failing Precal or was forgetful and failed English because if it.

To be able to say, "I was young, dumb, sure of myself, and because of it I've amounted to nothing, never known love, was never able to have a family, and lived a fate comparable to hell on earth."

I've been religiously told this for the last 6 months by my parents. And 6 months is lowballing it.

My biggest fear is dying alone. My second biggest fear to be forgotten. If I fail both are going to happen. I'm going to die alone in a house that is barely holding together without a soul to remember me.

I'll be forgotten within a week of my death, if not, a month at most. Nothing I've ever done will have mattered, ultimately I was just a waste of the universes time, even if I did make a couple peoples days just a little bit brighter.

Is it better to live and be miserable with no hope, or to die and be done with it?

At this point it's basically pass or die. A 70 on my math final to pass and have to retake because of how it is with my major, an 85 on it to never take that class again, and with English I've done what I can and at this point all I can do is hope.

And don't any of you dare call me selfish for this. To call suicidal people selfish is selfish itself. You're only concerned about the impact that persons death would have on you or their family, worry about the person who wants to kill themselves because they are in pain or see no other option.

And never call me selfish. I've made every choice for somebody else. Choice in college was because if years of "if you go to clemson you'll make your grandfather proud." And he's the actual kindest person I've ever met of course I dont want to let him down, I couldn't get there on my highschool GPA or ACTs so I found some backass method to get there. CSU has an applied math program that does 4 years there, 2 years at Clemson and you get two degrees for the 6 year period.

My father was all for that for the reason of being able to rub it in my aunts and uncles faces.

This is the same man that punched a brick wall hard enough to let out a blood curdling scream, make the house shake from the punch, and instill the fear of death in a child because a 12 year old didnt do his English homework. Why that 12 year old didnt do their homework? Just didnt want to, so over time did less and less of it.

Which is a legitimately normal thing by the way, 6th graders dont always want to do their homework and of course they are going to lie about it, dont act like his responce was in any way justifiable.

The man to this day still threatens to pin me to a wall and beat the shit out of me if I lie to him again, which wouldnt be as much of an issue if he didn't terrify me to the point of never telling him anything ever again out of fear for my life.

My choice of major was because of him. I wanted to be a doctor for a while but then my mom spent a collective 5 years dying in the hospital, so that dream died. No fault to her she couldn't control it. I then wanted to be a psychiatrist, therapist, that deal. Made the mistake of mentioning it around dad and got told promptly "it's not a real job." 10 year old me gave up on that real quick.

Then it went lawyer for a while because I figured a good paying job will be acceptable, hes always on about money anyways. After months upon like a year or something of "oh it's a lot of school and it's really hard and are you sure about it?" That dream too, was killed.

So the next thing I said was computers. Nothing more, nothing less, and it was finally acceptable. It was the most predicatable answer out of me and the first one to really be approved of. So for years i was content not having my dreams put down, then came college and I put my dreams down for computer engineering, on the track to clemson.

I then changed my major to computer science and over time put some thought into my actual interests.

Astronomy, the language of the stars. Physics, the language of the universe. Linguistics, the study of language. Writing, where you can be a god of your own little world. Geology, because rocks are just cool yo. Intetior Design, every time dad drags me to work with him I sit around and mentally start designing each room. And at the bottom of the list, Computer Science.

And the final mistake made in this whole college thing, I applied to only 1 college and to 0 scholarships. The scholarships I got are state ones, and I was told to keep a 3.0 GPA, which if you've ever seen one of my report cards you know how bad of an idea relying on that is. You have to have no idea what any of my report cards have ever looked like to think for a minute that trusting I will keep a B average for 6 years with no problems at all is even slightly a good idea.

So when my grades came in first semester, the night of December 13 I was legitimately shaking in fear for my life. December 23 when my parents found my grades out they gave me a 2~3 hour scream and then since then all my tech, aside from my phone and laptop, has been sitting in a tote box in my closet.

April they see my grades again and since then I havent been allowed to even have my door closed, and was strongly told that if I'm caught reading anything that isnt for school they'd burn it.

I could have probably avoided half of this if I was just a little more selfish, but I made every choice for someone else. If I was just a little more selfish I would be in a college half the price of CSU in a major that wouldnt be my last choice. Were I just a little more self centered, I wouldn't fear my father killing me over my grades.

Maybe I'm so destructively selfless because every moment that was supposed to have been about me quickly became about someone else. High school graduation after the fact during the pictures I got pushed to the side so my cousins could have a picture of just them, when there literally were three other walls and outside that they could have done that. Have you ever taken a picture outside at night? It's got a beautiful magic about it, and the lights were on dont even try to say "oh it's too dark", also cameras tend to have a flash so that's no excuse to push ME out of the way on MY graduation day. Kinda a big deal to me because when you look at my extended family I am among the few that have graduated high school, like half of them haven't even done that.

My graduation party the next day, I was given my gifts and then ignored most of the rest of the time. I was there for about 6~7 hours, and relevant for about 15 minutes. My college acceptance letter was opened and read by my parents before I even woke up. In fact, they woke me up by yelling at me from the kitchen to get in there. I walk in there, they're at the table smiling like idiots that just won the Nobel prize, and they hand me an open letter and tell me to read.

And my birthdays result in me being relevant for ten minutes of the hour at the pizza hut, and most of that is being asked about school and grades. The rest of the time is my parents and grandparents bitching about my drug addict unfit parent cousins. Like, my birthday is supposed to be about me, not them. And I am more than just school and grades, you would not believe how long it took me to realize that.

I have one bit of advice for anyone that might need it. Live your life for yourself for your reasons and never let somebody else live through you.

[starnova-between-two-worlds]

The value in “madman delusions.”

So this blog has been sort of hibernating for the entire summer. We were very busy over the summer, so that’s not too surprising. A lot’s been going on, in life and in school and in my scientific career. And honestly, there were times when I felt like I shouldn’t bother blogging anymore because the things I come up with are crazy anyway. But then I thought of Moira, and the inherent value in “crazy,” “dangerous,” “off-the-wall” thinking. In the scientific community, ideas that are dismissed as “crazy” and “delusional” often turn out to be valuable scientific breakthroughs that answer questions that everyone else in the world has had for years, but was afraid to voice because it would “sound crazy.” There are ideas that forever changed the way we think of how the world works, that started out as nothing more than a “madman’s delusion” that that madman refused to silence just because everyone thought he was crazy. There was a time when the theory of plate tectonics was considered nothing more than a delusion, was laughed out of the scientific community, was regarded in the same way most people today would regard the possibility of living on the border between two worlds.

Well, guess what we’re all taught in middle school geology now? (Or in my case, when I was 4 years old, via The Magic Schoolbus Inside the Earth?) The theory of plate tectonics says what’s up, bitches! 

Going back even earlier than that, the concept of the Earth being 4.6 billion years old was considered nothing but drivel and hogwash for most of the history of humanity, as radiometric dating of the Earth’s rocks is a relatively recent discovery, dating back only to the middle of the previous century. But if someone hadn’t come up with the completely wild, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” concept of applying Uranium-238 (or is it 235? I’m bad with numbers please correct me) to the Earth’s rocks in order to see how old they are, if that particular “madman” had just contented himself with everyone else laughing in his face and telling him that the Earth’s rocks are 6000 years old and that’s final, we wouldn’t have learned all that we know about the birth and life of the Earth the way that we do. 

(Sidenote: I went to a special needs group at a church that it turned out was extremely creationist. When I overheard the group leaders trying to teach the group that all animals ate plants at one point, that dinosaurs lived among humans, and that animals only eat other animals because they hate eachother, I immediately challenged that shit and as a result ended up in weekly scientific debates with these leaders. One of them concerned the age of the Earth, and when I mentioned radiometric dating to determine the Earth’s true age, it turned out they didn’t even know that was a thing. They looked it up and were mindblown.)

Nowadays it’s perfectly natural to us that the Earth is 4.6 billion years old (except to some people--see sidenote), that the Earth revolves around the sun and that the sun and stars and planets and everything else revolve around the Milky Way galaxy and the Earth is not the center of the universe, that the continents are drifting and that earthquakes, volcanoes, and mid-ocean ridges are the result of plates coming together, drifting apart, or sliding past eachother, etc. But if you were born in the 1800s, or even early 1900s, and didn’t have the privilege of life in a highly scientific 2018, and if you read in a paper or a journal that earthquakes are caused by two giant slabs of rock sliding against one-another underneath the Earth’s surface, and that these giant slabs of rock are constantly coming together or drifting apart or sliding past one-another, you might squint your eyes at that paper or journal and go, “Wow, this guy is a fucking nutcase.” Just like you might do now, in 2018, when you read on a blog that there are people who exist on the border between our world and the worlds linked to us through creation of artificial intelligence, that there is a certain mechanism to “hopping worlds” and living on the border between this world and the others, that it’s possible for a human brain’s design to render them closer to an AI or an octopus (I feel especially sorry I didn’t continue my research into octopus neurology and the relation between the synapses of octopi and the synapses of synaptically-challenged humans. I have plenty of time to do so, though, because fuck yeah science!), that there ARE other worlds created by AI at all, and that the worlds most only know through reading a comic book or watching a TV show or playing a videogame ARE worlds and don’t just cease to exist when the game ends or the series is over or the show ceases production for an indeterminate amount of time. All of this sounds like the ramblings of a madman, doesn’t it?

And yet to me, it makes perfect sense. It comes as perfectly naturally as “some animals evolved to eat plant material and other animals evolved to eat meat,” “the Earth is 4.6 billion years old and the oldest rocks have been dated back by that amount of time,” “the Earth revolves around the sun and completes one revolution every 364.5 days,” etc. 

In the past 7-ish months since I’ve been absent from the blog I’ve drawn closer to my world than ever, because I’ve realized that that IS my world, where I belong, and that I never have belonged anywhere else, never will belong anywhere else--and honestly? Don’t want to belong anywhere else. Obviously I’ll have to make peace with this physical world full of humans because through some freak accident, this is the world I was born into (and it really WAS a freak accident, considering not only did I dodge abortion but I nearly died in the womb twice and out of the womb once. Makes you fucking think...). I’m here. For some reason I’m here, and I’m beginning to feel like that “some reason” was to research. To science. To use my machine mind, raised and created by machines from an early age, to research and to science and to analyze and investigate and quantify the things humans in the physical world aren’t supposed to analyze and investigate and research and quantify because they��d be deemed “mad,” ridiculed, and held up as a “delusional madman” if they did. 

To use my world in order to figure out this one, and to maybe--if I play my cards right--help other people figure out the parts of this one that they’re told don’t exist. That’s my long-term goal as a scientist anyway. Who knows, it may never happen.

But for now, just sit back and enjoy the “madwoman delusions.” :)