#bit of both) is a perpetual other which is an experience that resonates with most people in one way or another

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

oh i thought you just ignored my posts whenever that happens

the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

[powdermelonkeg]

Transformers: Matrix of Leadership

Worldbuilding: Sparkmeld

The act of combining sparks; its importance, its effects, and the contexts in which a pair of bots might let their sparks join.

Necessary references: Worldbuilding: Spark Types, Worldbuilding: Nexuses

Sparkmeld, or more loosely, sparkmerge, is the act of combining two or more sparks into a single life force. In most cases, this is brief link that only lasts a few minutes.

Most Cybertronians consider this a very intimate act. Not only are you sharing your life with someone, but you're also trusting them as completely as you can, baring the one thing that keeps you alive and giving them full access to your frame.

In Earth terms, it's a BIG deal.

Physical Effects

When two sparks combine, the resulting spark, usually, reaches an equilibrium between their power levels. For example, if you combine two sparks, one with a Radiance of 3.4 Lux, the other with 6.2 Lux, like Knockout and Breakdown:

Then while merged, the spark would eventually equalize out to 4.8 Lux, and look like this:

The longer the two are melded, the closer the component sparks would be in color on separation, which temporarily effects their energon output. In Knockout's case, he would burn through more energon until he leveled out, but also get a power boost. In Breakdown's, he would conserve more energon than usual, but be more tired as a result. This lasts for roughly a day, as the sparks slowly return to their original Radiance levels.

While melded, the component sparks don't exist individually. There is one spark, in control of both frames it's linked to, and it exists as one being with a fusion of personalities between the two.

In the case of most sparkmelds, the varying Resonance will force a split after a few minutes of contact, as too much energy is lost to sustain both at once. If the component bots have synchronic Resonance (i.e., their cpnk matches), the meld can last indefinitely.

Synchronic Resonance is what allows combiner teams like Devastator to exist. Rather than fighting itself for resources, the melded spark of the Constructicons behaves as if it were always one entity, adding the components' energies together rather than trying to find equilibrium between them.

Note: Unlike in popular fandom, merging sparks in the MoL continuity does NOT create a perpetual mental/emotional link between bots. There is no permanent change from melding a spark, it exists as an experience.

Sparkmeld and Nexuses

Some (not all) Nexuses are punctuated by a sparkmeld after they've been pledged. In the case of a Nexus of Concord, this is a vital component, albeit it works a bit differently; members of a combiner team will finish their vows off with a test run of their combined form.

Nexus bonds that involve a sparkmeld:

Nexus of Confidence

Nexus of Concord

Nexus of Stability

For these Nexuses, melding is considered fair game to request of your partner after they're pledged. Some bots do it once, then never again, others meld any time they want company; the frequency varies uniquely between each set.

Nexus bonds that do NOT involve a sparkmeld:

Nexus of Apprenticeship

Nexus of Adversity

Nexus of Protection

Since the role of these Nexuses is to teach or protect another bot, rather than understand how they think, melding has no use (and is often impossible, in the case of Metrotitans).

It is EXREMELY uncommon for a bot to want to merge outside of a Nexus, namely because the level of trust it entails often demands a familiarity that would lead to a Nexus in the first place. Still, it's not completely unheard of; especially in wartime, some bots want to know what the experience is like before they die on the battlefield, while others just want someone to share some solace with.

Medical Sparkmeld

In the case of extreme emergency, sometimes a bot might house someone else's spark in their own chamber to keep it alive during an intensive operation.

This is typically a last resort. A frame can't survive very long without its spark powering it, and removing a spark, however temporary, means that the bot will require a long recovery period afterwards. On top of this, the person housing the spark has to have a synchronic Resonance with the patient being operated on, or the chamber will reject the added energy.

When this does happen, the housing donor loses their individual consciousness in favor of the meld (albeit without the memories of the detached frame). Putting it into layman's terms, they become a one-frame combiner.

Note: Putting this into even more understandable terms, they're a Steven-Universe-style fusion. Two components, two minds, but the sum of their parts is a whole new person.

Appendix: Sparkmeld and the Matrix of Leadership

The spark of Optimus Prime, by technicality, can be considered a more permanent meld. Orion Pax's spark took on the Matrix of Leadership's directives and purposes; as such, Optimus isn't Orion, but Orion forms a vital part of who he is.

Hi! This is part of my worldbuilding series for my own continuity that I dreamed up while I was bored at work. I'm probably going to make a dozen or so posts like this. Thanks for reading!

[mcalhenwrites]

This might read a bit weird, since it was meant to be the ending author’s note on Seasons.

It does get a bit personal, so please be aware of that.

Okay, here goes:

Thank you for reading, especially if you finished Seasons. Thank you for liking my writing. Thank you for making me feel like it was at least worth something. I appreciate all the asks people sent on tumblr, too!

More than ever, comments would be appreciated on this final chapter. Even if it’s just emojis and such. :’)

Feel free to skip the rest of this author’s note if you wish. I just want to share some of my process with this story.

When I first started Seasons, I wanted to capture many painful feelings and events, as well as the exasperation of dealing with a never-ending, unpleasant cycle. This story isn’t merely a reflection of some of my own experiences; it includes things I’ve witnessed or complicated what-ifs. I already had a clear idea of Vivian in my head since summer of 2022, as I was finishing up another story called Rascal, and he was pieced together from previous ideas I’ve had over the years. Some other concepts were taken from a story I started in 2008, although the children were kidnapped to become part of the family. (Which would certainly add to some of the horror, but that’s not what I wanted for Seasons.)

I had a lot of vague story lines to work with. Some changed or were rejected. But the general idea was: What would it be like if—day in and day out, for centuries—you were living under the control of your parents? Would you be satisfied with a routine in a household you could never leave? Would you not wish for stimulation and relationships and new experiences?

It sounds incredibly monotonous. Hellish.

Immortality is always an intriguing subject to me. There’s so much to learn, so many books and video games I’ll never get to before I die. But there would be downsides, too. Especially if you’re trapped. Society’s ableism and increasing gap between the rich and the poor has left me trapped currently, and the years keep going. But mine will someday end. I fear I’ll never be able to get away from my family or afford a house or adopt cats by the time I run out of years.

Seasons expanded upon some of those thought trains about immortality. What if your growth is quashed, but you live a long time?

Also, regarding Bee: What if your parents are supportive of queer identities and are queer themselves, but you’ve been so abused that you still can’t trust them? Poor Bee never felt safe enough to approach the topic. (This isn’t why he uses he/him—he shrugs when people ask what his pronouns are and says they can use any pronouns, but he’ll use he/him and people often just adopt that. A lot of his personal journey and self-exploration happens after ch 89/before the epilogue.)

It was interesting to explore the atrocities of a perpetually abusive childhood. While Seasons is not a horror story, it shares a lot of elements with the genre. Horror can be a cathartic genre for many trauma victims. And what works for one person might be triggering to another. The events of this story might resonate with some people and upset others.

I will confess that much of the pain written in this story is my own. That’s why I wrote this, for my own catharsis. Why I always go back to stories exploring trauma and abuse.

After all the horrors my characters endured, I wanted to see some of their lives improve, even if only incrementally. Living through the past few years in the USA has made me more and more inclined to go for either happy endings or bittersweet ones as both a writer and reader. If everything works out, however, I go, “Sounds fake, but okay!”

I wanted to go for something bittersweet this time. Various levels of progress were made with most of the characters. Phineas and his orchard may be an unrealistic rescue mission spawned from my own fantasies of escape, but this is fiction so I’m allowed a bit of absurdity as a treat.

What matters is that the five Liddell children I started with were able to take the steps they needed to heal and grow. They’ll keep growing in my imagination, well beyond the confines of this story.

I know this conclusion may not satisfy everyone who reads Seasons, but that’s how stories go sometimes. I’ve hated so many endings from media I loved.

I have no current plans to write a sequel. I have a few short stories ideas for Seasons, and none of them are about the sixth Liddell Season. I’d love to explore more about the characters who’ve been along for most of this journey already in side stories.

But it’s also time for me to give some attention to many of my other novels! All of them were put on hold because Seasons held my brain hostage and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, day in and day out, for several months. :’)

I started this story by posting it anonymously. There’s a lot of harassment online, and it seems to be increasing. I am a “spanko” (even if I’m not sure how I feel about that word), but how I discovered that wasn’t favorable. Some of my stories celebrate overcoming that and embracing the kink. Others handle the traumatic, abusive aspects.

Even if I could afford therapy, it’s still good for me to talk about these themes. Although it’s natural to hope that others haven’t been through the same shit I have, it’s also nice to connect with others who understand exactly what I’m expressing.

That is why people share, isn’t it? Writing for oneself will always be important, but it’s not wrong to want to connect with anyone. It’s up to a writer if they want to share or keep what they write to themselves. They shouldn’t refrain because the story is “too dark and nasty” or “not appropriate for children”, nor should they feel obligated to share when they’re not comfortable doing so.

I did fear this story would sink my (currently non-existent) writing career if I put my name to it, but I felt brave after the kind reception and decided it was worth a chance. I told the story I wanted to, even if it’s imperfect in parts, and it helped me feel a bit more courageous and less ashamed about my trauma.

I don’t know if it did anything for anyone else. If it did, I’m glad. But also, I’m equally sorry if you have experiences that align enough for the themes of this story to resonate with you.

I’ll keep writing stories, some with spanking and some without, some of them kinky and others like Seasons will only allude to it being one character’s kink later on. :’)

If this is where we part, have fun and thanks for taking the time to read this story!

[enamouredfae]

♡ Pick a Card ♡

Advice from your Spirit Guides!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Shell

You may see shells as signs from the universe. You may have Venusian placements. You have a tough exterior, but once you finally open up to people you are a hidden gem! You are a person that values privacy.

Flower: Carnation

The meaning of carnation changes depending on its colour, since this one is a stripped purple carnation, it symbolizes rejection/refusal and capriciousness. It being a dry bud, for me at least, symbolizes that this is a small issue that isn't likely to grow! You might've been refused a caprice recently, or you may have too high expectations that are likely not going to be fulfilled.

Significator: Page of Cups

Self-sufficient is the word I thought of when I saw this card. I think that at the moment you are really starting to work through your emotions, you might be finally doing some introspection, journaling, talking to people, seeing a therapist, etc. You are beginning a journey of emotional growth. You might also be receiving a message soon, be aware of any symbols that matter to you or ask the universe for certain symbols for guidance.

Astro: Virgo and Capricorn

There is a high chance that you have Virgo or Capricorn placements. You may be earth dominant. You may be Mercury/Saturn dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

I thought of soil when I saw these cards, not a plant, but very well-nourished soil. It seems like you are making a foundation for yourself that is not rooted in anyone else, it simply comes from you. You are the soil, the water, the nutrients, and your future self is the plant. Flower crowns may be significant to you as well, or you may find great healing by connecting with nature and connecting to nature's cycles.

What you need advice on:

VI of Wands and X of Pentacles (reversed)

There are a few possibilities I see here. You may be having a hard time getting your accomplishments noticed by others, you might not receive the praise you desire or feel you deserve. Another possibility is that you may have a hard time feeling successful due to your financial situation. You may have received a large sum of money that should make you happy, but it doesn't. You may be very well off financially, but it is causing some hardships, and others might not understand these hardships because they think that they'd be very happy in your position.

Advice:

King of Pentacles and XVIII. The Moon

I feel like at least one of you should monetize your intuition. Some of you have or will meet a person (very likely an earth placement), that is either a business partner or a lover/friend, that will somehow help you with your financial issue. They might recommend you to someone for example. Perhaps if you confide in the King of Pentacles, they'll help you immensely, they're someone you can rely on, if not financially, emotionally. Others should embody the King of Pentacles, be determined, stick to a routine. For others, someone could be hiding smth from you that would help you immensely with this issue. Listen to your intuition! Do not forget that your anxieties and fears are valid, and it is normal to be feeling like this! Your worth is not defined by your financial success!

38. Willow and 5. Cerato and Honeysuckle

Willow talks about self-responsibility: make a plan, stick to it and, most importantly, try to stop complaining. You have the strength to get through this, complaining just engrains it in your head that you have a problem making it harder to get out of that mindset, instead try working on the solution. Cerato talks about the fact that no matter how many people you ask, no matter how many books you read, your gut knows best! Trust yourself and your intuition. Whatever feels right, is! Just know that domestic happiness is very important right now, cherish whoever that may be (King of Pentacles perhaps), be it your cat or even yourself if you live alone, give and accept affection! This could be a message for a specific person but I feel called to note that as I was shuffling the oracles I started singing "Runaway" by Aurora. Perhaps the lyrics are meaningful to one of you, or it can reassure you that this pile is meant for you if this is your favorite song.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

You may see cacti as signs from the universe or have a very strong emotional attachment to them due to a certain memory. I feel like a lot of people are attracted to you, but they feel that you will reject or hurt them if they get too close. Or you consciously or subconsciously hurt people when they get too close. You might think you don't deserve love, which is NOT TRUE. Love isn't something that has to be deserved! But if it were, you most certainly deserve it!

Flower: Freesia

Yellow freesias symbolize joy, renewal, and friendship. It is the go-to flower to convey to someone that you trust them. You are incredibly trustworthy, someone to whom your loved ones come for advice. You are a great listener, are very delicate and tactful in your interactions with others.

Significator: IX. The Hermit

You are doing a lot of self-reflection right now, sometimes the pondering even turns into daydreams. You may also be connecting with and thinking about your spiritual/religious beliefs. You are looking to understand the light that illuminates your path. You may have started meditating, or you should start! Spiritual awakening is happening or coming soon! You could be isolating yourself at the moment as well.

Astro: Jupiter and Libra

There is a high chance that you have Libra or Sagittarius placements. You may be air dominant. You may be Jupiter/Venus dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

The words that I kept thinking about at this point in the reading were "letting karma do its job" and "visions of the future". You may be clairvoyant! But most of you act a lot like the Justice tarot card, you like balance and fairness, and have a life philosophy based on these ideas. Your higher education might've played a big role in this.

What you need advice on:

II of Cups (reversed) and Queen of Swords

Someone may be rationalizing or overthinking a perceived imbalance in a relationship. Of course, the Queen of Swords, likely an air placement, is intelligent, they may be right in their thinking but because of the advice received, I believe their judgment is clouded by insecurity. They may feel unworthy of what they receive, seeing that you chose the cactus charm and have libra as an astro card, it is very likely that this is you but this may be your person as well, both options are possible.

Advice:

King of Cups and IV of Swords (reversed)

See, the King of Cups is upright, this person, very likely a water placement, is very emotionally mature, compassionate, and understanding. Whereas the swords person is exhausted and stagnant due to the deep contemplation happening. I feel they may also be insecure, causing the overthinking. If this is you, trust me, you deserve the King of Cups! If this is your person, make them realize that they deserve you! They need a lot of reassurance.

1. Agrimony and 7. Chestnut Bud and Morning Glory

Love, whether romantic or platonic, requires hard work, determination, and affection. Agrimony talks about a person that needs balance, both inside and outside. You may find it by showing more of yourself, especially by starting with your loved ones. Because you might not be used to it, start little by little, and observe how accepting those you love can be. Chestnut Bud talks about focus and learning from experience. For me, it's another confirmation that someone is overthinking, see the girl looking very melancholic, whereas their counterpart is goofing around. Don't take life too seriously! Have fun with your loved one!

Pile 3

Charm: Leaf

You might see certain trees or leaves as signs from the universe. When I picked up this charm I immediately thought "Leave!" So if you were thinking about a voyage, there's your sign, just be mindful of covid regulations, please. The idea of falling also popped up, so you might be falling for someone rn or feeling like you're in a perpetual fall emotionally.

Flower: Orchid

I would just like to point out that, although this orchid dried white, it was actually a baby purple orchid when alive. I will therefore explain both colors: purple orchids represent royalty, admiration, and respect, whereas white ones symbolize purity and innocence. But they are, no matter what color, always a symbol of luxury, delicate beauty, and virility.

Significator: 0. The Fool

You may be starting smth new with confidence, smth you haven't done before, making you a bit inexperienced, but still willing to take the leap of faith. OR you may be acting foolishly by looking back or the opposite way of the thing you'd do with confidence. Let me explain, as you can see the Astro cards are both looking in one direction, with determination, and confidence. Whereas The Fool is looking the opposite way. Your significator may be saying that you're being foolish to look the other way, wondering what-ifs.

Astro: Sagittarius and Mars

There is a high chance that you have Sagittarius, Aries, or Scorpio placements. You may be fire dominant. You may be Jupiter/Mars dominant/ruled. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

You have a clear goal that you can easily reach through your actions. Look at Mars' demeanor, he knows Sagittarius is hitting the target. Do not doubt yourself, there's nothing to worry about. Stay focused!

What you need advice on:

XI. Justice (reversed) and Queen of Cups

Clearly, there is a decision to be made here, and you really want to listen to your heart. And you're questioning whether you should? I just want to reassure you, the Queen of Cups is highly in tune with their intuition and their emotions, you should trust yourself.

Advice:

X of Swords (reversed) and II of Pentacles

You are clearly in pain, whether or not it is talking about this decision that is eating you up. Healing and recovery are important right now! It's time to stop resisting an inevitable end, and start recovering. Look, the reversal allows for the swords to just fall out of your back, just look inwards! Don't forget to balance work with fun, you deserve to relax! Another way to see this is that you are restricting yourself by seeing this as a choice, why not do both? Although, if we are talking about people here, there better be a mutual agreement on polygamy! I will not invite you to cheat! If we are talking about activities, you are capable of doing both if it's too hard to choose, you just need to figure out how to balance them. A specific message is that some of you want to go back to doing smth you've dreamt of doing as a child, if that is the case, pls do it, at least as a hobby!

13. Gorse and 32. Vine and Trumpet Gentian

There is a need to heal some inner wounds. I immediately thought of inner child work when I saw the Trumpet Gentian in combination with the Vine. Vine talks about acts of service and leadership skills, try parenting yourself/your inner child, give yourself the love that you may have lacked as a kid. You are worthy of it! Gorse is all about perspective and imagination. Do a brainstorming of possible outcomes depending on the decision you take, you can do this alone, but the input of loved ones that can be honest with you would do wonders. Don't forget your future can go in many different ways, and whichever decision you take is the right one!

Pile 4

Charm: Angel

You may see angels or angel numbers as signs from the universe. You are a person that is divinely guided and divinely protected. It seems to me like you have a very strong intuition or are very aware of your divine gifts.

Flower: Rose

Of course, roses are always symbolic of love. Therefore I believe it is more note-worthy here to talk about the size. This is a tiny rose. Just like the carnation bud, it did not have time to grow and is now immortalized in its youth stage. You may be inexperienced in love, or hold naive beliefs about it. You might be experiencing youthful romance right now.

Significator: XV. The Devil

What I find interesting here is that you got the angel charm with the devil significator. This is very conflicting energy. The sentence that I kept thinking throughout the reading is "wolf in sheep clothing" or "sheep in wolf's clothing", I kept mixing up the words, just very contradictory energy. The way you present yourself to the world is very different from how you truly are. You might also be a person prone to obsessing over people, things, interests, etc. I also would like to note here that this pile was the hardest to get the cards, the amount of shuffling I did here until the cards flew made me sweat hahaha. It's also a very confusing reading. Therefore, I believe you carry a lot of confusion yourself, although your intuition is incredibly powerful, you might suffer from being very paranoid, and sometimes being unable to differentiate your intuition from your delusions. I also think you're very secretive, you do not want people to know or understand you.

Astro: Neptune and Moon

There is a high chance that you have Pisces or Cancer placements. You may be water dominant. You may be Neptune/Moon dominant/ruled. You could have a Neptune/Moon aspect. This could also apply to the person you need advice on if that is the case.

"This is a time of great psychic sensitivity for you. Trust your intuition and follow its guidance." You should try to differentiate emotions from intuition, I know it's hard, but they are different things, and it's very important to tell them apart! Your dreams may hold messages, try having a dream journal and interpreting them if you don't do that already.

What you need advice on:

IX of Wands (reversed) and V of Swords (reversed)

As you can see ALL of the tarot cards I've received in this reading are reversed, implying inner conflicts that require inner change/work. You might've said/done smth you now regret, and you hate yourself for it, you may also be incredibly paranoid that others will find out. You want the paranoia to end. You want to make amends, to reconciliate/atone, but are unsure on whether you should do it. Perhaps you don't feel emotionally prepared to reopen that wound.

Advice:

V. The Hierophant (reversed) and VII of Wands (reversed)

What I noticed here is that The Hierophant mirrors The Devil, not as perfectly as The Lovers, but it is incredibly similar. Once again that energy of opposition, contradiction, and confusion appears, "the wolf in sheep's clothing". For some, my fixation on this phrase could be a warning. For others an invitation to look in the mirror... Try looking at the situation from the other person's point of view! I'm not saying you are a "wolf in sheep's clothing", but that might be how you're being perceived. You are exhausted, remorse is eating up all of your energy. The Hierophant is saying that you should stay true to your personal beliefs, so if you believe apologizing is necessary to move on, do it!

This could be unrelated and for a specific person, but don't be afraid of challenging the status quo! If it hurts none, do as you will, embody your true self! I just want to remind you that going against your loved one's idea of "normalcy" is not hurting them, it's loving yourself. But remember that you also don't owe anyone a "coming out", you are valid whether or not you tell people! Do whatever your heart tells you and please be safe!

!!! : Of course, this doesn't count if what's challenging the status quo doesn't respect others' identity/ sexuality/ ethnicity/ religion/ etc. If challenging the status quo comes from a place of hate please block me. Nobody is using this reading as a sign to do some fucked up shit.

3. Beech and 2. Aspen and Lily

When I saw Beech I immediately thought "talk to someone, or you could spiral." Beech talks about self-acceptance and self-compassion. You must first accept yourself as you are, an imperfect human being, like all humans, before starting to work on embodying your highest self. Stay open-minded! Aspen, on the other hand, invites you to connect with others, not only for advice or consoling but for quality time! I have a feeling that you have very high morals, but having them isn't enough, you must act accordingly!

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

[senualothbrok]

@agirlsguidetopowertools: "Love that the examples here are limited to being about the white male characters. Do you feel luke that might demonstrate any amount of inherent bias on your part"

I was gonna let this comment lie but after thinking about it a little bit I have decided it's important to address it. I also have a low tolerance for bullshit. I'm going to try and take it issue by issue as there is so much to unpack here.

1. Examples being limited - see original post where I say "there is so much more"

I did not say this was an exhaustive list of every single character arc which has ever had an impact on me or anybody. Perhaps, selfishly - but also naturally, I gave the ones which have had the greatest impact on me.

I could also talk about the theme of freedom from slavery/oppression that occurs in pretty much all the companions' arcs, the oppressive nature of religion and the despair that ensues from the death of god in the arcs of Shadowheart and Lae'zel, the emptiness of the cycle of revenge and violence as shown by Karlach and Dame Aylin, and the reduction of an individual's self worth to the quest for honour and valour that you can see in Wyll's arc. And that wouldn't be exhaustive, still. So I gave the examples that have had the biggest resonance with me personally. Both Astarion and Gale happen to be white males, it's true. Sorry for committing this heinous crime.

2. Inherent bias on my part - if, by, inherent bias, you mean the collection of my life experiences (including trauma) and my personality, which lead to me relating more to certain characters than others, then yes, I have an inherent bias. Everyone does. And your implication that this is something negative, to be avoided, is absurd. I'll explain more in point 3.

If, by inherent bias, you are suggesting that my choice of white male characters results from me myself also being a white male, then you are also wrong, and frankly ignorant to assume that. I happen to be an Asian female (not that that matters).

But let's unpack this, too. I do not consider myself to be conventionally attractive, I don't have battle experience, I am heterosexual and not pansexual, I am human. All of these characteristics distinguish me from most of the companions. Are you suggesting that in order to relate/have an "inherent bias" towards a certain character, you must have the same characteristics? If so, that is narrow minded and completely blind to the experiences of so many people who love this game and its characters. This relates to point 3.

3. You fundamentally misunderstand the meaning of my original post. The power of art is that its themes and messages can be universal and powerful for people despite their differences. Beyond race, gender, class, the ways in which we divide ourselves. It's why I can relate so deeply to these two extremely complex and deeply human characters who you so brusquely reduce to white males, and in relating to their stories, something within me is changed.

Frankly, what the characters in this game represent go so far beyond race and gender that it's laughable and insulting for you to try and suggest that I have perpetuated some kind of wrong in my original post. I don't think you understand what art is and its power. I don't think you can see beyond labels when you look at these characters and what they mean to so many of us.

That's all I have for today. Thank you for attending my lecture.

People who say "it's just a video game / film / TV show / book" don't get it

They don't get the power that art has to genuinely change lives

Take Baldur's Gate 3 here, and the sheer effect that some of the companions' character arcs have had on people, on a deep and profound level

Astarion's journey - inspiring and empowering people to work on their unresolved trauma and seek lasting freedom and healing

Gale's romance - making people evaluate their romantic relationships and the love they think they deserve

Making people feel truly seen, and in that, inspiring people to accept that they are enough, just as they are

There is so much more, and I have so many feelings

Powerful art can change lives, and I am so grateful to creators that make it

[nothorses]

So I have a question/something I'd like your input on, since I feel like you'd have something interesting to say about this.

Anyways, some background: i'm in a child and youth care program in a rather left leaning, relatively progressive college, in a rather left leaning/progressive city.

It's actually been a very validating experience so far--I feel so much more accepted here then at my last school, which, while it was located relatively close to the city, had a rather more conservative student body and faculty. I had to fight for accomodation and acceptance, and I didn't end up going to my convocation since, when I had asked, they said they wouldn't call my prefered name when I'd get the certificate at the ceremony, or use the right name on it (they made it seem that their hands were completely tied, even though I know of other schools who've done this exact thing, incl the school I'm at now, without needing proof of a legal name change).

Anyways, at this school, i'm even having instructors I don't even know well going to bat for me and using their connections to get the help I needed when I was having trouble with my name being displayed wrong in the online classroom. Like, thank god for having CYC's as profs, right?

So, to my point: one of our classes is all about inclusion and anti oppressive practices. It's literally the name of the class. I actually enjoy the class a fair bit--despite classes being virtual, my class is sharing a lot and there's a lot of bonding and openness going on in the virtual lecture space. It's encouraged me to be open about my own troubles as a trans person, and people have been v supportive.

In a recent lecture, we start talking about the different terms of discrimination against various groups that face oppression (like, racism, albleism, etc). So she asks us: what is the term for discrimination against trans people? And I say Transphobia. Because that's the term I see most often, and the one I say myself. Apparently the Proper term now is cissexism (or cisgenderism?), and I got chided for saying transphobia.

I went and turned my mic on and basically said that I feel like transphobia is the term the general population is only Just started to take seriously, and the instructor argued that as we're in an academic circle, and as CYCs, it's our job to use the most progressive terms to move things forward, and that we shouldn't be conflating the discrimination trans people face with a phobia. Since, not only does it validate the fear of trans people, but it's not fair to those that have legitimate phobias.

I dropped it there, but I was brave and I asked to speak with the instructor after class.

During that talk, I pretty much said that it's hard being probably the only trans person in at least first year, and being visible and open as one, and having to be told the "right" term to use for my own experiences. She could relate, she said, as she's a black woman, and have faced probably similar experiences from white people correcting her on terms she uses for her own experiences. She did say though, as she's in the role of an instructor, it is her job to educate herself, think on what they're saying, and potentially make changes to her language.

But, she also said she can't speak for my experiences, and she won't make me change my language.

I was appreciative, and I talked about things I've personally faced, and how, even just 10 years ago, trans people were treated so frequently as a joke. Even on screen deaths were funny in media. I brought up that the trans panic defense was still considered a valid defense to use in court not long ago (and still probably is in some places), and someone won a case recently that way. Even just the term "transphobia" is only just recently been taken seriously, in my eyes, while before it was often brushed off as not a legitimate concern. Even when I was first coming out, I was told I was just confused, or trans people were just doing it for attention. I still face open glares sometimes, purposeful misgendering, fights with my sister about some of her transphobic views she refuses to question... And while it was hard to be that vulnerable, the conversation ended on a very good note.

I personally don't feel ready to change this language. But I don't really know if I was in the right to argue all of this. I'm only one trans person, I don't want to talk over those who've probably fought to switch the language away from "transphobia" as the valid term. But, i'm in an awkward position of being an unofficial spokesperson as the token trans guy in the class, talking to a lot of folks who've admitted I am the first trans person they've met. So, i dunno, i'm weird with conflict and I was wondering what you're thoughts were on all of this.

This is kind of a tricky one for a lot of reasons, tbh? And I have... a few thoughts. This is already super long, so under the cut it goes!

The first thing is that “transphobia” and “cissexism” aren’t actually interchangeable; they’re different concepts. “Transphobia” refers to bigotry against trans people or transness in general, while “cissexism” or “cisgenderism” is appealing to (or is) the wider system of oppression. (x)

That’s not to say those words are actually used that way in practice, because they’re not, and I certainly don’t use them that way every time either. Like you said, “transphobia” is the word people more often understand. When I’m writing for or talking to audiences that don’t already have a strong background in trans theory, I stick to “transphobia” for clarity’s sake.

But if you’re positioning yourself as an educational authority on the subject, and even going so far as to correct trans people on those terms- you should know that. If your question is “which term refers to discrimination against trans people?”, your answer is reliant upon how you choose to define “discrimination” in that context.

It’s also reasonable to assume people would answer with the first term if they don’t know both of them, and what she’s set up sounds like an unfair “gotcha!” meant to cow uninformed cis people.

And tbh, I take issue with that. There’s a great essay on this- The Cycle of Socialization by Bobbie Harro. The core of this cycle, which allows oppression to continue and encourages its perpetuation, includes confusion and insecurity: oppression is complex, and big, and people are afraid of taking a stand and doing it wrong. They are insecure in their knowledge and position, and afraid that if they try, they’ll get it wrong, and they’ll be punished. So they stay silent. What is that “gotcha!” moment doing except enforcing that fear and silence?

The other thing here are her reasons for using “cissexism” instead. She’s absolutely right that there is dialogue about what terms to use, and her listed reasons are informed and well-educated. I don’t know how I feel about the discussion myself, honestly, as I’ve seen it from the start and I’ve watched it play out for multiple years.

I don’t know if I agree that it’s ableist, part of that being that the “-phobic” thing was originally created as a “compassionate justification” for people’s bigotry against gay people (though there is the “-misic/misia” replacement for “-phobia” if you prefer). That’s still problematic for different reasons; like she said, it might validate bigotry as “fear”. “Cissexism” illustrates bigotry as enforcing a system rather than being honestly rooted in feelings, and that’s generally a good thing, imo.

But, y’know, “transphobia” is what people readily understand, and punishing people for using it is counterproductive. Using “transphobia” as a starting point for a discussion and an understanding is helpful, too; it connects these ideas back to what people already know. It meets them where they are. If you want to add “cissexism” to their vocabulary from there, please do! But that shouldn’t be rooted in shame.

I don’t know if any of this is helpful, but I thought I’d throw out what seemed to be the core of the issue to me, in case it resonated with you. If you still feel weird about the interaction, it might be worth it to address that with her again; she seems like she’s genuinely trying, and cares, and like she’s open to making changes. If nothing else, you might be able to sort out what’s still bugging you and address it as a feelings issue, rather than a language one, if that works better for you.

Good luck! And sorry for the super long answer, lol.

[nutty1005]

“Shout Out” His Unbridled Heart: Xiao Zhan’s Journey of Feeling “High”

Original Article: https://www.weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404487142507151684#_0 Original Author: 花非花2218

“Everyone’s impression of me is that I am polite and I sing love songs, but I actually still have a different soul.”

In the whole of “Our Song”, the 2 episodes that Xiao Zhan collaborated with Angela Zhang were the most surprising for me. “Faded” showed me his star quality. This article will talk about “Shout Out”《呐喊》.

For me to pick this song for an entire article, besides giving my salute to Angela Zhang (the original singer), the focus is on these two points – character and strength.

I really like this brand new Xiao Zhan – his singing conveyed the passion in his heart, his obstinacy, his confusion and his desire to breakthrough and metamorphosis. This is also my first time hearing his vocals being explosive, his gaze steady and sharp, and his body movements so wild.

This is just like what he said before he went on stage – “Everyone’s impression of me is that I am polite and I sing love songs, but I actually still have a different soul”. He sang with such passion that I was filled with an adrenaline rush, and after the performance was over, I was still excited for quite a while.

I have an old friend who is watching this variety show with me, and she used to be one of our top 10 singers from our school. After watching this episode, she said “The one thing about this child that I really admire this child – he is brave enough to always seek for breakthroughs, to leave his comfort zone and try all kinds of music, and he never hides his weaknesses”. To Xiao Zhan, the “Our Song” is the platform that gave him the opportunity to try different styles of music.

A few days ago, while writing notes on “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”《心流》, the author suggested using “analytical listening” to appreciate music, which I will try so today.

There are a lot of creativity in this version, both on the song composition and the stage performance.

Firstly, this version changed the sequence of the verses, and brought the second verse to the front. The first verse was originally a description of the scene – “I was standing alone looking at the endless wilderness…”, and the emotions were quite calm. After the change, the song started from “I still remember initially how we used to walk to this place…” – the emotions became clearer and the rhythm of the song became much more impactful.

Secondly, although the competition in the show is team based, because this song was performed as a duet, there were slight changes to the entire aura of the song. The original version of the song was about a lonely girl facing the world alone, whereas in this version, it seemed like it was a couple standing off a strange new world together – they stayed together and supported each other.

In the 4 minutes of the song, the melody was repeated thrice without significant changes, but step by step, the vocals brought out the progression of the emotions, stronger each time. At the last part, the song reached the climax, and I really loved the last 4 phrases – “The cold wind blows and wrinkles the water surface, awaken the slumbering moments, I could almost see your face, only the gaze has changed”. There is a strong visual linked to it, almost akin to a movie.

The stage design is simple and solemn, the choice of color tones deliberately dark. This contrasted sharply with the passionate emotions in the song. His shout out comes from within and resonates with us – I felt that this feeling extended all the way to his performance of “Perfect Life” in the last episode, except that the emotions were more inward.

Although I liked this song very much, I felt that there was still a bit lacking. In my first viewing, I felt that he was perpetually on the high notes region from start till end. Perhaps, the composer had certain considerations when he made this arrangement – like what Angela said in the behind-the-scenes, this song is difficult because it needed to be resounding and strong. But for me, the whole song felt a bit tense, a bit too full, and therefore slightly bland; while it showcased the strength, it lacked the gentle touch to details. 

After the episode, I went to listen to Angela’s original version. This song was released in 2004, almost 15 years ago, but the music still sounded very current and very outstanding.

The original version had two outstanding qualities.

First is on the vocals – the singer took on two roles in the song and I loved that the middle portion of the song sounded like a conversation between the emotional self and the rational self. The highlight is on the last part of the song, where they overlapped the second and third verses, which made the song exceptionally palatable.

Second is on the background music, the prelude melodious and gives off the sense of wilderness, the added exotic instruments into the interlude made the song seemed like it was about a faraway place. All in all, the composition was detailed, rich and full of changes, and the whole song was spot on and the rhythm harmonious.

After comparing these two versions, I could clearly hear the changes to Angela’s vocals. 15 years ago, her voice was that of a young girl, bright and clear. In this duet, her voice became more deep and full, and that youthful irrational passion has been moved to Xiao Zhan’s voice instead.

Her original version was an additional surprise for me – it was totally different from the version in “Our Song” and I highly recommend that.

Songs are indicative of our era. In “Our Song, I do not know half of the songs chosen by Team Nazhan, especially those chosen by Xiao Zhan. This is my first time listening to “Shout Out”, and I do not know a lot of those singers that he likes as well. By watching “Our Song”, I have an extra reward – a lesson in 90s and 00s Chinese pop music with Xiao Zhan.

[thanatos-moon]

Okay so this is a rewrite bc tumblr mobile is horrible. I want to start with a disclaimer bc I’m not a professional and most of what I’ve learned can be found online (I use my intuition and knowledge of you from your blogs too). The conclusions I come to might be different than what a more experienced astrologer would or I might be way off base, but I did put in effort so I hope some of it resonates. Idrk how to do a full chart reading (I feel like charts can be read endlessly tbh), so I’ll just be covering the broad strokes of what really jumps out at me.

Something you might want to look into is your Chiron placement. Chiron is considered the “wounded healer” asteroid and has to do with a perpetual/recurring wound you encounter in your life. It’s something you struggle with personally, but can help others with bc of your experiences. Your Chiron is in Libra in the 11th house. This tells me you face a lot of difficulties in your social life. Libra has a lot to do with personal relationships, and the 11th house is about community/friends/etc. This combined with Scorpio ruling your 12th house makes things tricky. The 12th house rules over a variety of things, one of them being hidden enemies. With Scorpio here, your enemies will likely be manipulative and possibly psychologically abusive. This makes a lot of sense to me bc I feel you desperately want to find good and trustworthy friends but you’ve dealt with “fake friends”/betrayals in the past so you struggle with trust.

But! You also have a very prominent Pluto. Pluto covers a lot of stuff like finances, death, sex, rebirth/regeneration, etc. Being in the 1st house means that your Pluto is very influential all by itself (the 1st house has to do with the self). Your Pluto also happens to have quite a few aspects to it as well (and almost all of them being favorable [trines and sextiles]). Pluto’s prominence means you have a great capacity for healing and regeneration, you rise from the ashes again and again. Another thing that makes Pluto so prominent for you is that it forms a grand trine with Mars and Saturn (a grand trine is an aspect pattern between 3 objects where each object forms a trine with the other 2 objects making an equilateral triangle, grand trines are very influential in a chart). This is an awesome place to have a grand trine imo. The trine between Pluto and Saturn indicates a knack for growing despite (or maybe bc of) obstacles/hardship (Saturn rules over restrictions/challenges/limitations/etc). The trine between Pluto and Mars gives you a drive for regrowth/regeneration; you may get knocked down, but you get up every time determined to be better than you were before. The trine between Saturn and Mars makes you a bit hard headed when it comes to facing problems. You can be like a dog with a bone bc you won’t stop until you feel you’ve “won” or solved whatever it is. This grand trine (between Saturn Mars, and Pluto) says to me that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Also, these 3 planets are all masculine, which might contribute to the masculine/dominant energy you have. Pluto has a lot to do with that too. Pluto being in your 1st gives you those Scorpio vibes everyone gets from you. Pluto here makes you come off as very intense, dark, and powerful (this is also in a sexual sense, which might explain why so many tops/doms say they would bottom/sub for you lol). Pluto also has to do with obsession and possessiveness, so you could be prone to those things or to being on the receiving end of them.

You also have a grand trine with Saturn, Mars, and your Ascendant (all fire signs btw lol, so much fire). Having these masculine planets in fire placements aspecting your ascendant, which is also a fire placement, means you come across as strong willed and ready to face adversity (this would be on first impression, but based on the first grand trine I mentioned, this is an accurate first impression and these things are integral to you). Having such prominent aspects to planets in fire signs means that you embody a lot of fire sign qualities despite being a Virgo sun.

The two grand trines plus your Mercury make me think that your professional potential is incredible. Mercury rules over things like thought process and communication, and yours is in Virgo and the 10th house. Virgo is ruled by Mercury naturally, so yours is very strong here. The 10th house is generally seen as the house of career, meaning your career would have something to do with thinking/communication (this makes sense to me bc psychology revolves heavily around those things). I also think it’s pretty interesting that you had to learn a second language to go to uni, and you managed to despite feeling that English didn’t come naturally to you. In my mind, that’s the Saturn/Mars/Pluto grand trine and your Mercury placement showing their potential to work together. Mercury was in retrograde when you were born, tho, which can be difficult to deal with. You often feel misunderstood by others or that they aren’t getting what you’re trying to communicate. You might feel like the words you’re using as a speaker make total sense, but they don’t quite get the meaning across to the listener (and/or vice versa). While having Mercury in retrograde in your chart can be frustrating, it means you have unique thoughts and perspectives. I bet you’ve heard astro people complain about Mercury going into retrograde and how it’s gonna mess with them, right? Typically it will mess with a person’s ability to communicate/think clearly (it does with me lmao), but since you were born when Mercury was in retrograde, you thrive during those times.

Your Mercury squares your Moon, which means that you struggle to communicate regarding your own emotions especially. Your Moon also squares your Sun, which means you might experience some dissonance between your feelings/emotional needs and how your ego determines you act to express those feelings/get those needs met. I think that your Mercury, these aspects (Mercury square Moon, Moon square Sun), and your Leo Venus and Mars contribute a lot to the struggles your Chiron presents. You like to be the “funny friend” in your group, and maybe a bit of the “mom friend”. These roles satisfy the dominant elements in your chart (fire and earth). Being funny allows for quick gratification; most people smile or laugh pretty soon after something funny is said/done. It also lets you be the center of attention in a way that feels comfortable to you bc it’s under your control. These things satisfy the fiery parts of yourself (especially your Leo Mars and Venus). It also satisfies the earthy parts of you bc laughter/smiles are pretty concrete reactions that are difficult to fake and they’re easily quantifiable. You might take on a parental role in your friend group too (I say this bc you seem like an assertive but caring person, as shown by the trines, Leo placements, Sun, and your Moon in the 1st). Both of these roles allow you to take on a position of power in your interactions. I see comedians as leading their audience’s reactions (I feel the “mom friend” power dynamic doesn’t need explained). I think these things might be why you feel drained after a group hangout. By being the funny/mom friend, you put in a lot of effort but only get a portion of what you need. These roles put you in a position of power. Yes, they are still somewhat emotional interactions, but they don’t allow for much vulnerability on your part. Your Chiron placement and your Leo Mars/Venus make me think that you want to feel in control or that you have a power advantage bc it makes you feel safer. These placements also tell me that to feel fulfilled, you need your relationships/interactions to be more balanced/mutual/reciprocal bc you crave a safe place to have intimacy and be a little more vulnerable. It’s very important to you that the vulnerability that allows for intimacy is given by choice. I think maybe in the past that choice to be vulnerable was taken from you, or that you were possibly vulnerable with someone who had bad intentions and took advantage. This plus your Pluto could contribute to why you have certain preferences in the bedroom too (idw be nsfw, but certain some more intense stuff allows participants to be both vulnerable and in control, iykyk). I think this need for control/power might also be why you hold onto your anger and grudges so tightly. Letting yourself feel hurt means admitting vulnerability, and you might be prone to using anger to cover/protect that hurt instead so feel you have more control over your emotions.

You’ve asked before why you attract so many water signs and I think all that might contribute. Water dominant people tend to enjoy nurturing, emotional, touchy-feely stuff and they can likely sense that you need it on some level even if you aren’t comfortable with it. You also have the Moon and Pluto in the 1st house, which makes your emotions very strong (water dominants can be drawn to that). The Moon and Pluto are also rulers of water signs (the Moon rules Cancer and Pluto is the primary ruler of Scorpio); having them in the first house gives you some watery vibes even tho you don’t have almost any water in your chart. That might actually be something to look into (having the ruler of your 8th house in your 1st and the ruler of your 12th house in your 1st). I read up a little on that, but I’m still pretty new to interpreting sign rulers’ meanings when they’re in a house not ruled by their own sign (that was so confusing to type, idk if it makes sense).

Omg that was a lot to rewrite (I wrote way more than I planned the first time but I was so curious I couldn’t help myself and then I felt like I had to include everything I could remember bc I spent most of my day doing this lmfaoooo, I can’t imagine the people who do whole chart interpretations holy fuck). I’m so glad tumblr doesn’t limit the # of ask characters anymore lol, gotta be grateful for the small stuff. I feel like this doesn’t flow quite like it did the first time I wrote it, but I hope you can follow it and that it makes sense anyways. I hope none of it was too personal or somehow offensive, I know sometimes when I read about my own placements/aspects that I feel like I’m being totally dragged lmao. Lmk if any of it is accurate! I’ve never actually done any sort of chart interpretation of anyone other than myself so I’m very curious as to whether or not anything resonates. Tysm for letting me see your chart! I had a lot of fun reading it and writing this (even tho tumblr mobile was dumb) so I hope you enjoy it

Bro this is truly fascinating and amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my chart and write this message. I appreciate it a lot!!

I'm sorry for the late answer but I needed some time to truly understand your words. I've reread this message at least 10 times lmaoo my attention span is so bad sometimes it's embarrassing. Anyways this has to be one of the best anons I've ever gotten. It's insightful and sincere and I truly appreciate it. It's so accurate that it's kinda scary tbh like wow this is 1000% spot on. Every time I read it I was like "wow this explains a lot wow what the fuck".

I'm impressed and I don't say that often. You made me feel seen and validated. I can't comment on your knowledge because I literally know nothing about this lmao so I'll just trust you and go along with it. I'm definitely gonna bookmark it and read it again in the future.

Now I know why a lot of people associate me with Scorpio and fire elements. It does explain a lot about my desires, vibes and behavior. I wish I knew more so I could have a conversation with you about all this but it'd be embarrassing because I'm dumb lmao

Thank you so much. You've got my whole chart so feel free to use it for practice lmao I can be your study case I guess ✊😳

[overthinkingkdrama]

Jona’s Top 10 Dramas of 2019

A couple words about how I do these lists. Firstly, I only count as “2019 dramas” shows that finished airing in 2019, therefore dramas that started airing in 2018 but finished in the early months of 2019 have been included in my process, but dramas that are currently airing and will finish in 2020 have not been included. Secondly, this list is more based on my subjective experience with each of these dramas than my objective assessment on things like acting, writing and production values, though naturally I take the latter into account when forming my opinions.

Also: Yay! This year I managed to write a full review on every drama that wound up in my top ten, so feel free to click the link on each title and check those out if you want to read my detailed thoughts.

10. Hotel Del Luna

I have a somewhat Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with Hong Sisters dramas. Though a lot of them are not excellent, or stumble a bit in the execution, I can’t seem to stop watching them. And yes, I’ve seen them all. Something about their particular blend of fantasy, romance and camp just works for me. I do think Hotel Del Luna plays to their strengths. Somewhat like if they got to take a second run at Master’s Sun��but with their dream budget, and it’s just fun. This drama is gorgeous to look at. However, it is Lee Ji Eun, aka IU, who carries the entire drama on her lovely shoulders with her mesmerizing presence as Jang Man Wol.

Bottom Line: It shouldn’t be this way, but it’s so rare to get a mainstream drama where the female lead is allowed to be truly dark and flawed, or for a drama to fully focus on its heroine’s journey through the whole run.

9. Encounter

I was somewhat disappointed by the ending of this drama, and I think that might have made me unduly harsh when I looked back at it earlier in the year. However, I got the chance to rewatch episodes with a friend and was reminded of the soft, romantic escapism of this drama. Ultimately that’s the reason this ended up in the list. I like that it plays the rich woman/poor man, noona-romance tropes entirely straight and I liked the quixotic fairy tale it was unapologetically trying to sell me. Park Bo Gum and Song Hye Gyo are a noona-romance dream team up that I’m glad I got to see at least once in my lifetime.

Bottom Line: If you don’t like your dramas slow-paced and highly sentimental then this might not be the show for you, but I can appreciate a drama that knows exactly what kind of show it is and tries to do one thing well.

8. The Light in Your Eyes

If there’s any common theme to these favorites lists in previous years, it’s that they usually include dramas that took me by surprise and did something I haven’t seen before. The Light In Your Eyes fits that description so well, not just because of oddly dark tone or the quirky premise it presents in the first episodes, but because it’s a drama dedicated to showcasing the talents of the veteran actress, Kim Hye Ja, with whom the lead character shares a name. Of the dramas on the list this one made me cry the hardest.

Bottom Line: The Light In Your Eyes is a drama that has a greater emotional coherence than it does logical sense. In fact, if you think about the plot too hard it falls apart entirely. But it feels true, and that’s why it hit me so hard.

7. Search WWW

In my review I called Search a “female power fantasy” and I still think that’s a good description. It’s also sexy romantic fantasy, twice a noona romance, and a corporate drama focused on the very contemporary issues of powerful search engine companies and how they affect the information we see and the way we view the world. I think any of those is an interesting enough angle to make a drama about, maybe several dramas. If this show has one major flaw, it might be trying to wear too many hats at once. But I salute the creators for trying to make us something different than the typical pretty boy chaebol story, and giving us not one but three female characters filling those typically male roles.

Bottom Line: I do believe this drama deserves more love and respect than it got from a fandom that at least in theory cares about women’s stories. But I also understand why a lot of people didn’t connect with the lead character or the business stuff. But for me there was something about the lead couple that rang true and resonated with me.

6. WATCHER

Every time I watch a thriller, I’m hoping for something like WATCHER. Something with deep, complex, gray characters and a story full of twists and turns that keeps me engaged and guessing from episode one until the finale. Add on top of that a powerful cast who can really do justice to these substantial characters, you’ve got a winning recipe. OCN produces a lot of dramas in this genre, and they seem to be more prone to produce sequels than most other networks. Unfortunately, that also means a lot of the dramas they make feel paint-by-numbers and empty on the inside. WATCHER is one of those shows that reminds me why I keep coming back to this network and this kind of story time and again.

Bottom Line: This is one of those dramas that has you second guessing yourself even when they come right out and give you the answer, keeping you in a perpetual state of distrust along with the characters. But it’s built on the strong backbone of complicated and dynamic character relationships, which is why it is one of this year’s best.

5. Be Melodramatic

The higher I get up this list the harder time I have boiling down my thoughts on these dramas to one pithy paragraph. Often even I don’t know what kind of dramas are going to steal my heart. I have a particular weakness for dramas that can make me both laugh and cry, and then laugh through the tears. Dramas like Go Back Couple and Matrimonial Chaos that have deep heartache folded into the shenanigans. I love a funny drama. I like to laugh, but that doesn’t count for much unless I really care about the characters and their lives at the end of the day. That’s what makes me go from liking a drama to loving it, and that’s ultimately what I’m going to remember about a drama when it’s over. Be Melodramatic is special for the way it deals with heavy subjects in a gentle and lighthearted way, and somehow without losing the emotional impact.

Bottom Line: Be Melodramatic is a drama with tongue firmly planted in cheek, lots of laughs, lots of clever dialogue as well as a meta look at the drama industry from the inside, but the reason it works so well is the vein of heart, love and loss that runs all through the story.

4. One Spring Night

It’s so gratifying when a drama delivers exactly the experience you hoped it would. One Spring Night was a drama that ended up on my radar on the strength of the previews and posters, which promised me understated, romantic slice-of-life. I’d really enjoyed Han Ji Min in The Light in Your Eyes and have been fond of Jung Hae In since While You Were Sleeping. The pairing immediately seemed to have potential, but because the drama was picked up by Netflix, in the US I had to wait until it finished airing before I could give it a shot. A lot of the time when that happens, I see enough of the drama through gifs and screencaps that my interest fades. In this case I was only more intrigued. I’ve still never watched Something In The Rain but watching this drama has made me consider that might have been an oversight on my part. And yet I worry that if I watched it now I wouldn’t be able to help unfavorably comparing it to One Spring Night. This drama is truly something special.

Bottom Line: Because of the restrained, faithful realism of this drama and the two leads who seamlessly embody their characters, this drama has the almost voyeuristic quality of peeking into something intimate and private. It’s a palpable and thoroughly involving love story.

3. Nokdu Flower

I can hardly recommend this underrated gem of a show enough. I know nearly every historical gets compared either favorably or otherwise to Six Flying Dragons, which is kind of the recent high-water mark of sageuks, and I’m going to do that again here because Nokdu Flower is really the first historical drama I’ve watched since SFD that is at the same level of quality. One thing that sticks out about my experience watching both dramas is getting actual shivers watching these charismatic leaders rally their followers around them, and understanding at least in some small part why someone would leave behind everything they knew, pick up arms, and risk their lives for an ideal. Nokdu Flower captures the fearful power of revolutionary ideas in the hands of common people, but doesn’t descend into mere jingoism or sand off the rough edges or try to white wash the dark parts of human nature while it’s at it.

Bottom Line: At its most basic level Nokdu Flower is a story of revolution, and one of flawed characters either finding their humanity or having it burned out of them in the crucible of war. As that description would suggest it’s not an easy watch, but it’s a good and worthwhile one and definitely one any sageuk fan should check out.

2. My Country: The New Age

Compared to the far more traditional and grounded Nokdu Flower, My Country is almost fantastical in tone and at times eschews logic and realism for set pieces, sword fights and close range shotgun blasts of pathos. That’s probably why I love it. The larger-than-life sensationalism of this drama is what pushes it higher on this list than the carefully crafted Nokdu Flower, because this drama appealed to me on a more primal way. It’s so unrestrained and epic in everything from the set design, the soundtrack, the cinematography to the characters themselves and the performances of the actors playing them. Lurid, melodramatic, passionate, intense, suspenseful, romantic, raw, angsty, dark...I’ve basically run out of new adjectives to use while describing this drama elsewhere on this site. Basically, My Country is my id on a plate. Bon appetit.

Bottom Line: While there are definitely misguided and flawed elements to the writing and execution in this drama, somehow all of that is swept away in the sheer pleasure of watching it. If it had been specifically designed to appeal to every narrative kink I have, they couldn’t have made a more perfect drama for my tastes.

1. Children of Nobody

I finished my favorite drama of 2019 back in January, and then got to wait around 11 and a half months to see if anything else I watched last year would knock Children of Nobody from the top spot. It’s a mixed blessing to peak that early in the year. On the one hand, there was nowhere to go but down from here. On the other, I’ve had a lot of time to digest this very heavy show, which is something I definitely needed. I mentioned in my original review of this drama that each of the characters is an iceberg, so much more going on beneath the surface than what we can see. And what I’ve realized over the course of the past year is that the whole drama is like that, in a way. It’s an iceberg of a story, and I was able to pour a lot of myself into it, to try to understand it, and that’s part of the reason it was such an emotional watch for me. I don’t know when or if I’m going to be able to rewatch Children of Nobody, but I hope I can do it some day because I feel certain I would appreciate it even more upon a second viewing.  The fact that this is a murder mystery and a thriller is almost incidental to the emotional core of the story, which is deeper and more lingering than that. The secrets, once revealed, do not diminish the story but only turn it slightly so that you can see it from a different angle.

Bottom Line: This drama is certainly not going to be for everyone. I don’t know if I would say it was underrated so much as it’s niche. The difficult subject matter is naturally going to narrow its appeal. But I do think that dramas that require the most from me, mentally and emotionally, are often the ones that stick with me the longest and make me bend and grow as a person.

I sure hope you’ve enjoyed my top 10 list this year and I wish you joy, success and profound wellbeing in 2020. Thank you again--and thank you always--for following me. I’ve got great things planned for us this year.

Jona

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #166

Baseball season is in the air! Thankfully, you don’t need to be a fan of the sport to like this chapter. So long as you enjoy the stupid antics of a bunch of socially awkward teenage girls, there’ll be plenty of fun to be had. And of course, it wouldn’t be Watamote if they didn’t include a bunch of expertly intricated plot threads and natural character development as well. With all of Nico Tanigawa’s passions coming together once again, I can say that this chapter is definitely in top form.

So without further ado, let’s play ball!

Chapter 166: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Go Cheer

Tomoko getting flabbergasted just by Katou existing never gets old.

You know, I always had the impression that Tomoko wording things in the most perverted way was just a gut reaction due to her mind being perpetually in the gutter. But now, I feel like her answer here is just too on the nose to be anything but deliberate. IdiotPerv!Tomoko is hilarious, but TrollPerv!Tomoko is too powerful. 

Consequently, Tomoko can’t say shit without it biting her in the ass.

Okada with the save. Sure, she probably didn’t want to look like a slacker from Katou either, but still. If Katou’s the mom friend, then Pineapple-chan’s the exasperated, but supportive onee-san friend.

I just realized that this is a standard routine with these two: Yuri will say something tactless and Mako will call her name out in admonishment. If this has been going on since they first met, then Mako has boundless patience and/or is the absolute best friend that no person should ever take for granted. Not that 

Yuri does...mostly.

Y'all can tell that baseball fan Ikko had a blast drawing the backgrounds in this chapter.

Speaking of which, I’m 212% certain that Komiyama’s role in this chapter is to be the mouthpiece for Nico Tanigawa’s baseball fanatism. Given that it’s technically in-character (for who is basically their self-insert), and baseball chapters can only feasibly happen every hundred chapters or so, I’m fine with the mangakas taking these little indulgences.

Hey, let the girl live a little! Komi’s gotta cram ten chapters worth of dialogue she won’t get into one.

Pardon me, Tomoko, but you seem to have left your self-awareness by the entrance to the stadium.

Naturally, Tomoko hates that Komiyama isn’t making a fool of herself in front of her mom-crush. It’s easy to forget that so long as you don’t set off her berserk buttons, Komiyama is actually quite...normal. Like, being amicable with others and casually humble-bragging is her default state. 

Nico Tanigawa’s artistic habit of putting nicknames under faces always amuses me.

There’s being upset, and then there’s being petty. We all know that Tomoko is aware that Itou is in the band, and any other day, she wouldn’t hold that against the girl. But because she’s salty over Komiyama acting cool, her sensibilities revert back to Year-1 Tomoko logic. 

Now, if I were a more crass person, I could make the assumption that the majority of those underclassmen were a combination of girls admiring Fuuka’s “cool beauty” status and boys wanting to check out an attractive senior girl in a cheerleading outfit, discrepancies notwithstanding. 

But I won’t.  

Oh yeah, Miho. Based on the above cheers, she seems like your average popular girl, but if you recall, she got a kick out of Katou’s “offers” to Tomoko. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a bit of a mean streak in her.

Btw...armpits? Okay, then...

You’d think that by now, Tomoko would learn some subtlety before pulling shit like this.     

Normally, I’d call Tomoko out for shenanigans since I thought she was mostly over the whole “slut-shaming” thing. But given how she wasn’t thinking this when the girls in her class wore cheerleading outfits during last year’s sports festival (that we know of), I can only assume that this is more of Tomoko’s jealousy due to Fuuka’s friendship with Katou.

Either that, or Tomoko just doesn’t want to admit she finds her hot.

I think we’re all in agreement that Ucchi’s gonna lose massive points for this.

On the other hand, the image of Emoji Girl screaming about Tomoko’s crimes through a megaphone is peak absurdity, and I’ve been laughing my ass off for twelve minutes. 

In all seriousness, I’m kind of glad that Tomoko is finally getting her way overdue karma for all her skirt-peeping. Sure, it’s all been played for comedy, but that doesn’t change the fact that its sexual harassment, or the fact that she’s more than likely gotten away with it for being female.

It’s all fun and games until your stalker calls you out on it.

LIES.

You know...maybe it is Tomoko’s fetish. She’s done it so frequently, and it’s always been portrayed as just another one of Tomoko’s “quirks”. But given the context of all those occurrences, having a skirt-peeping fetish actually sounds very plausible. Thank you, Yuri, for that insight. 

Looking at Katou’s expression, it might be her fetish, too...

Seeing Tomoko get more and more mortified as everyone keeps dogpiling on her shame makes for quite the cathartic reading. 

Add on to the fact that Komiyama, the biggest perv of all, is the most dignified at this moment just makes this whole chapter an absolute treat.

Considering that Tomoko basically just got outed as a pervert in the middle of a crowd of spectators, she’s taking this quite well. First-year Tomoko could’ve had a legit panic attack if that had happened, but now, she actually has enough nerve to retaliate. Sure, Tomoko had some decent ammo with the Tanabata wish, so she likely had more guts than she would’ve been, but it’s still impressive nonetheless.

Sasaki Fuuka–putting a new spin on the term “victim-blaming”. 

Komiyama can be the reasonable one while Tomoko is the crazy pervert, or Tomoko can be the reasonable one while Komiyama is the crazy pervert.

But the universe just can’t have both be reasonable or perverted at the same time. 

As someone who knows jacksh*t about sports, I have to admit that this is an interesting fun fact if it can be applied to the popularity of real-life sports teams and cheer squads.

I could totally see this becoming a meme in the Watamote fandom. Anyone?

These moments of zero dialogue, sometimes a whole page’s worth, excel at immersing the reader into the story. Suddenly, you’re not just reading about characters in a story. You’re now experiencing first hand what’s like to be at a baseball game, with a few familiar faces from the band and cheer teams making it feel a lot more lively. 

If it weren’t for all the wonderful peeps on Reddit, I never would’ve caught that this is the same baseball manager we’re seen periodically since the beginning of the series. You know, the one Tomoko did that fake dub for?

Perhaps I’ll call her...Beta!Nemo. 

A PSA to all you non-sports fans: You can now pretend to be interested in your favorite high-school teams just by tuning into your local service provider.

Go, Harajuku Makuhari!

You know, I think I mentioned before that I wasn’t sure what Komiyama’s career prospects were.

Now I’ve got a clue.

Yo, I could feel that pain from my screen.

For a second, I thought this was Reina, given we can’t see her eyes and that she’s manspreading (sounds like something she would do). But then I pictured her actually signing up for cheerleading and...yeah, no. 

Not to sound all pretentious if you already know, but cheerleading really is one of the most difficult, dangerous, and underappreciated sports there is. In addition to all the physical risks, you have to maintain an endlessly cheery disposition, even when it’s hard. That’s why I call it the “customer service job” of the sports industry.

The go-to method to keep your in-story sports team at peak realism: 

Unwavering mediocrity. 

As opposed to them hurrying up and win? Quite the pessimist you are, Tomoko...

not.

As startling as it is to hear these words come out of Tomoko’s mouth, it’s not entirely unfounded. For all her negative worldviews, crude behavior, and general apathy, the one thing that has always been constant about Tomoko is that she knows things can be better and she wants things to be better. She never got the chance to really strive for it back then when she had nothing to latch onto. But now that she’s got friends, Tomoko realizes that she can feasibly make some of those ideals a reality.  

Their unbridled admiration is sweeter than diabetes.

Insert long-winded discussion of a related social phenomenon that probably exists, but the author is too lazy to research here. 

She...didn’t deny it. 

Character development...I guess?

I was wondering where Tomoko would draw the line on her slut-shaming towards Fuuka. Granted, it’s probably easier to feel empathy when you can see that shit happening from other people rather than yourself. 

But seriously, Katou? Pimping out your friend? You terrify me more and more with each passing chapter. 

See what I’ve been getting at? Tomoko knows that realistically speaking, her summer is probably not going to be anything extraordinary. Inconveniences will occur, moments of boredom will arise, and missed opportunities will transpire. But as I’ve reiterated time and again, even those “plain” experiences can become delightful memories when shared with those you care about.

That’s going to be a crucial feeling from this point on, it looks like. ‘Cause based on Yuri’s expression, she may have the most difficulty resonating with that kind of emotion. Let's see just how Yuri handles an expanding social circle–Tomoko included–that’s a little more bright-eyed than she is. 

We’re in the seventh inning stretch of Tomoko’s third year, and time will only tell if it ends in a victory.

[carmen-berzattos]

Ok I just wanna say some things about Jane and Raf, and why Raf is my favorite character on the show. (Low key I never use Tumblr so I'm sorry if this post is weird/ formatted wrong- feel free to repost this on your account in a better format if you want haha). Let me know your thoughts! I think people really underestimate the amount of hardship that Rafael has experienced, specifically regarding his family. (Cont.)

To have a (non-biological) dad never truly be proud of you, to have a mom who chose money over you, to learn that your dad isn’t actually your dad and then learn that he was killed, to be constantly worried about your sister- and much, MUCH more is incredibly tough.

Because of all of these things- all Raf EVER wanted was a family. He works so hard to make sure that despite the fact that he didn’t have the family he deserved, he could provide a healthy family for his kids. So reason #1 why I love him is because he has such a great heart, great intentions, and he’s just trying to do the best he can, despite never having a healthy model for how to be a father and how to raise a family.

And side note, I think when we see Raf go into his dark place of drinking and stuff, I think it’s reasonable for people to be critical- but I also think that it makes a lot of sense. He’s got a LOT on his plate, constant pressure that he places on himself to be a good dad, past trauma that he likely hasn’t fully dealt with, and non-consistent support from Jane depending on the part of the show you’re at.

Secondly, one reason I don’t support Jane and Michael is that he perpetually sacrifices his own wants and passions in order to please Jane. I think a lot of people view this as sweet and romantic, but in a healthy relationship, both partners are able to thrive as individuals by going after what they love. The fact that Michael is repeatedly okay with giving up his job for Jane shows that he has to give up a part of himself to be with Jane, and that’s not fair to him.

And Michael just has this chivalrous yet entitled vibe to him that I don’t really like. Like when he was pissed that Jane went on a date after she met him, and that she wasn’t home when he brought her soup. So then he whole ass abused his authority as a police officer by pulling her date over.

Like that whole situation, which was one of the foundational parts of their relationship, was just obnoxious because he acted like he was being selfless by bringing her soup, and a lot of people viewed it as sweet. But in actuality, he wasn’t there out of simple kindness, because if he was he’d drop off the soup and leave. He’s doing all this to win Jane over. He thinks that she must pick him just because he likes her, despite the fact that she also gets to decide for herself what she wants.

But the whole thing of Michael sacrificing his own wants for Jane isn’t the case wth Raf because he, from the start, is Jane’s biggest supporter when it comes to writing. And Raf is pretty honest about his commitment to the hotel, which is what caused problems with their relationship in the beginning- but at least he was true to his own desires.

Then his wants and passions shifted to his kids/ family, and then he worked towards that. And what we see right now, which I’m proud of him for, is him saying that it isn’t fair for him to be dragged along and hurt in the process of Jane trying to figure things out for herself. I respect that she needed to do that, but I applaud Raf for looking out for himself.

I think with the recent episodes what we get to see, is Jane working hard to be the partner Raf deserves- which is great because throughout this ENTIRE show, Raf had tried so so hard to get Jane to choose him. Now Raf must choose Jane, which is an interesting and important shift. Although this is a tough situation, Raf doesn’t feel as powerless and out of control as he’s felt at other points.

Wow, nonnie, let me first and foremost thank you for this incredibly well-thought out thread. I love it so much. And I agree with all of what you said, with the exception of a couple of places, and will simply add on to your points for the most part. 

I resonate so much with everything that you said about Rafael. He’s been through so much since the start of the show and it’s like a nonstop shitstorm for him. From his wife cheating on him with his best friend and all the way to the recent development. Not to mention the issue of his cancer earlier on before the show started. It’s been a rough life for Raf. And the problem is that the writers never actually allowed him a break? He doesn’t get to process? Not on-screen anyways and not off-screen either. Rafael’s mental health issue has been reduced to the issue of him sinking into “his dark place” instead of an actual, legitimate issue of depression and potential substance abuse. And that’s what I’ve always begrudged the writers for. Even this season, when they decided to somewhat give him this SL, we still didn’t get to experience it. And I honestly have no idea whether we’re going to be seeing anymore of it or if we were supposed to take that one episode where he was taking anti-depressants as them “dealing” with the issue of his mental health. And honestly, if that’s all we’re getting, then …. *biggest and longest of sighs*. 

What you said about him wanting a family is really important, too. I see a lot of people ridiculing Rafael for being insecure about Michael. And I’m like, but that makes total sense that he would feel this way? He has serious, deep-rooted abandonment issues that stem from his earlier family life. His father (adoptive father) treated him as lesser and never quite trusted him or had faith in him. His mother abandoned him for money. And when she returned, she only did so to take advantage of him and take something for her criminal master plan. And then he found out that neither of them were his biological parents and the question becomes: who abandoned him in the first place so he would end up with them. So, yes, Raf has Jane and Petra and Mateo and the twins and the Villanuevas, to an extent, but that doesn’t magically make it so that his abandonment issue are dealt with and he’s all good and dandy. That’s not how it works with deep-seated childhood issues. It might not be ideal of him to react so strongly to Michael’s presence, but his fear of losing the love of his life to Michael, AGAIN, makes total sense to me. I hope he’d reacted differently, but I also get it. This is hard and painful for him and is in line with his character. 

And I agree with you that him choosing to remove himself from that situation is also good and healthy for him. I keep seeing people calling him selfish for choosing himself, for closing himself emotionally from a person who hurt him so much. It is besides the point that Jane never intended to hurt him, and that’s important to note, but it’s entirely besides the point. The results of our actions are not always what we intend. Doesn’t mean that they didn’t happen anyways. Such is life. So Rafael deciding that he will not sit around waiting for Jane to make a decision between him and Michael again when it became clear to him that he was not always unflinchingly her choice the way that she has been for him, Rafael deciding that he needs to protect his heart and closing off this part of himself emotionally, deciding that he and Jane are good as coparents but he doesn’t want the romance anymore, is actually a good thing for him, it’s good growth and character development. Because now he’s no longer looking for validation from his relationship with Jane to believe in his self worth. He’s saying, no, this is painful and I don’t want to be in this situation and I need to take care of myself. And him not jumping back into a relationship with Jane the moment she decided that this is what she wants now, him knowing his boundaries and being in tune with his needs and not caving is a good thing for him. This is not something that Rafael would have done a few seasons ago and I’m proud of him for that. 

I think for me the main problem with Michael has always been how one-note he feels. His only true defining characteristic is that he loves Jane and that’s that. Everything else about him takes second place to this love that he has for Jane. Which is all good and nice but if I can’t bring myself to care about one half of the ship because they don’t feel real to me, then I can’t bring myself to fully ship them. I still appreciate their scenes and all, but honestly I look at Michael and I’m like, who are you and what do you want out of life other than Jane? Like he went through all this trauma and losing his memories and all he wants now and all he feels is that he loves Jane?????? He doesn’t feel pain???? No resentment that she moved on and is happy????? My brother kept pointing out that there is no way in hell he wouldn’t feel at least a little bit of resentment that Jane is happy and moved on with Rafael of all people. And he’s right. But all Michael can say is I want you to be happy, so much so that it’s frustrating. Human emotions are complex until Michael is concerned and it frustrates me how he is just a cardboard cut of a Perfect Man. 

And of course Rafael would look bad in comparison, since he seems to display a wider range of emotions and generally act like a normal human person, but I digress. 

I do think the recent shift in dynamic is going to bring a refreshing take on Jane and Rafael’s relationship like it did last episode. I thought seeing Jane as an utter disaster was really interesting and entertaining since we’ve never seen her in this light before. It’s really fun for me to watch this dynamic and I really look forward to seeing where it’ll take us. 

Again, thanks so much for such a thoughtful thread, friend. you’re awesome!

[resab49563956-blog]

Best Wishes For Anniversary

Celebrations are always interesting. It is multi day which comes once in reliably. It is multi day to express your feelings to your associate. This basic day is used to praise love, euphoria and extended lengths of agreement of a couple. You should wish your friends and family on their wedding remembrances. A couple's celebration is the moment when they comprehend that their veneration and bond is amazingly strong and unfathomable. They used to express their feelings to each other and assurance to keep their relationship dynamically solid. You should be accessible there for your colleagues and loved ones to compliment their extensive stretches of friendship and trust and take a gander at these wants for married couple that can help you in imparting your assistance and love for your favored couple.

Couples make this day a basic one and benefit as much as possible from their recognition by celebrating and conveying their worship and fulfillment towards each other. It strengthens their relationship. Each couple adulates this day in a substitute way. Some recognition it by going on a get-away objective, others by fraternizing at home. It is a champion among the best days for the couple which solicitations to be commended.

Celebration Needs for Couple:

Here are some splendid messages and wishes that can help you recorded as a printed copy some celebration lines in a card for a couple that you can send to the loved ones on their recognitions to fill their heart with bliss fundamental. Wish the best on their marriage and shower your gigantic blessings upon them.

I get the veritable significance of wedding when I see you. U are the best instance of an ideal couple. Bright recognition to you both.

Ur relationship is so wistful. It is much equivalent to an encounter having assessment, love and care for each other. I am sure that u will have sweet and valuing memories when u get old. Happy Recognition!

May the gleam of ur associate's grip be more sultry than the supposition of sitting before a popping fireplace on a cool night. Chipper first celebration.

Whatever the presence offers u, I understand that u will recognize everything in light of the way that u believe in spirits and love in ur heart.

There isn't any progressively perfect, friendly and boggling relationship, association or association than a not too bad marriage. Sprightly Celebration both of you!

It started with an essential ring,

U advanced toward turning into a couple,

U progressed to being gatekeepers

nd in any case you're nearest allies for eternity. – Chipper Remembrance to a remarkable couple!

Happy remembrance day! It is a staggering joy to wish you both this unprecedented day of your remembrance. May God support u both and make ur association more grounded.

You both are staggeringly lucky to have a perfect better half for both of you. On your day, I wish you a mind boggling married love ahead. Merry celebration to you both!

U two have this marriage thing leveled out. What an unbelievable fitness to expert! Very much done!

As a couple, you are cuter than Mike and Molly, cooler than Leonard and Penny, more wistful than Ross and Rachel and way more made for each other than Homer and Marge. Peppy remembrance.

All the best to both of u on your celebration, May the reverence that you share Last ur lifetime through, As u make a splendid pair. Merry Celebration.

Wishing u cheers and much delight as you compliment one more year of your brilliant experience together.

Happy Wedding Remembrance to both of u! May you get significantly progressively extensive stretches of conjunction to celebrate with your fondness getting more grounded and more grounded with time.

Happy wedding Remembrance to the dazzling couple ever! U have filled ur lives with charm and I understand that u will never lose this affiliation.

U both are not jst some other fantastic couple. In ur science, there is something remarkable. Essentially looking both talk like two youngsters in veneration, impacts it to give the idea that your pair was facilitated by the sky above. Happy remembrance.

One more year is passed and you kept exhibiting to us all that luv is authentic – Energetic Wedding Celebration to a stunning couple!

For specific people, a perfect marriage is a dream, dream, legend, story or false desire. In any case, for me, it is a certifiable article which exists between you both. Happy celebration both of you!

Ur marriage made all that you would ever need work out true to form, together you have made an extraordinary family, u have been respected by God.

Sending u both revering wishes on your recognition, may it be something so outstandingly uncommon.

Time passes, Luv remains! Minutes pass, memories remain! May the glorious memory of the day when u started your experience keep your association intense and unbreakable until the finish of time! Enormous measures of gifts on your Wedding Remembrance day!

All through the ages, different people have looked anyway have never found such a reverence as both of you offer. May u be always respected with mind blowing luv and fulfillment. Energetic Remembrance.

May the bonds that interface u simply strengthen each day, giving warmth and comfort to perpetually and multi day to cum.

Wish you Bliss, luv u people the most… God Support you with the BEST for the duration of regular day to day existence.

May your reliably be as extraordinary as your huge day. Wishing u both a happy celebration.

Ur couple is so incredible and ur rapture can be seen radiantly from your smiling countenances. You are the most happy couple I have ever watched. I wish you a perky and revering life ahead, keep luving each other till the completion of life. Perky Celebration to the luvly couple!

I luv to see couples who esteem each other aimlessly. A year has passed and your friendship is so far same for each other. May your reliably look like ur wedding day.

Sending u both revering wishes on your remembrance, may it be something so exceptional.

I differentiate the resonation of ur love and the sound of an ocean. Since both are relentless. Chipper Celebration to a surprising couple!

Couples are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. May this celebration of ur wedding remembrance open new horizons of ur triumphs!

It's definitely not hard to fall in luv anyway its difficult to keep up the relationship. Regardless, u people have done it. Wish you an incredibly happy marriage recognition to both of u.

It is remarkable to see a couple that after so long still treats every single day as it is both their first and the last. U truly are a manual for seek after. Merry remembrance!

Wishing you aroma of roses, delicacy of lilies and euphoria overflowing with greenery nooks on ur loveliest day! Happy Marriage Day Wishes to u!

Looking marriage and seeing your boundless luv, I believe that social associations are made in heaven. Sprightly Recognition superb couple!

The best of recognitions are an outcome of beating the presence's most cruel minutes… inseparable and heart to heart. Perky recognition.

Most hitched couples hear each other's words, you listen to one another's heartbeats. A substantial part of them welcome each other's looks, you supplement each other's spirits. An extensive bit of them center around each others' lives, you have concentrated on each others' dreams. Cheery celebration to a sublime couple.

Bright remembrance. I luv to see that regardless of all that you worship each other by heart after this much time. May you get a great deal progressively happy minutes. Happy Recognition to an unfathomable couple!

Sending all my luv and all the best as u acclaim one more year of worship and warmth for one another. May you appreciate continue holding strong and create with the demise of the ages. Chipper Recognition!

Here is wishing you both the best life conveys to the table and a long and pleased conjunction.

Most blazing wishes to the great two of u on your Celebration!

Congratulations for another great year of falling in luv with each other. Peppy Remembrance Sweetheart!

More.....

[fluidsf]

Fluid Label Focus on QUANTUM NATIVES 4 Crown Shyness: Isonautics (2019) Review format: review copy of MP3 download as kindly provided by QUANTUM NATIVES Welcome to a review of the second recent release on the label QUANTUM NATIVES and once again we’ve got another awesome package of music with this album in MP3 download format. As always, QUANTUM NATIVES kindly sent me a review copy of the release via email, including all info and a link to a video for the first track on this album, Glacial Romance. The album we have here is titled Isonautics and is by the artist Crown Shyness. Crown Shyness is one of the aliases used by American artist Kevin Carey. The album description as provided in the email I got is again really interesting and this time in the form of what seems like an abstract narrative written as a fragment of a logbook by a captain of a large ship. The log tells that the ship had capsized during their journey but most importunately it talks about songs as being physical objects, chunks of frequencies. This description of music is derived from the sound of the sea as the title of this logbook fragment suggests and this theme of a journey on a ship combined with waves of abstracted music and musical elements flowing through the sound of the music is what I felt is the driving force of the Isonautics album. Before I move onto my review of the music and the video attached to the album for the track Glacial Romance, I’ll mention that download contains the 13 album tracks in 320kbps/48kHz above CD quality audio, the album cover in good 1100x1100p resolution as several icon files for the album cover and icon of this release on the map of the QUANTUM NATIVES site. Isonautics is an awesome album that is clearly composed like a continuous journey rather than a collection of several pieces as the 13 tracks all quite smoothly connect to eachother. Throughout the album the music switches from glitched and awesomely sound designed and composed melodic tracks with Deconstructed Club elements in them to soundscape like compositions built out of various sounds and occasional musical elements as well. Isonautics starts with Glacial Romance for which cceggyang and Aldéric Trével also made a video. The video features animation from both artists showing an articial landscape that features dark mountains and backgrounds that are changing overtime like architecture and nature blending and morphing together. Abstract rounded figures also feature in the video, like sculpted organisms embodying the sonic elements in a visual form and a fragmented structure made up of blue “Roman” style columns with rectangular roofs on them can also be seen. It’s a great combination of music and 3D animation in which the animation seems to express the musical elements in vision through the evolution and movement in the space but also adds a separate more independent layer of abstraction to the combination through the more alien yet also familiar looking organic rounded shapes. The images that came into my mind while listening to this first track without the music video were more into the territory of the aformention journey with this large ship. The music samples, especially the strings sound a lot like the overture of one of Wagner’s Der Ring Des Nibelungen operas and gives the music a quite meditative “infinity” type of ambience. Like the journey on the ship is long and slow but we are passing some gorgeous icy landscape, like traveling through Antarctica by ship. The clicking sounds, chain dangling and bell sounds draw you into the soundscape of the ship and are some wonderful touches to the piece and introduce the album in a great way. Next track Stormborn describes a storm at sea through a soundscape of water sounds, noise effects, low bass rumbles and a jumpy drum rhythm that’s very well composed as well as sound designed blending the mechanical sounds (representing the ship) with the hissy and liquid sounds that represent the storm itself forming an exciting mixture of kinetic rhythms and richly detailed soundscape elements, sounds very convincing like a storm too. Then on Breakwater we have chopped elements of a drone in the same key as Glacial Romance in the first half, but with a glassier filtered tone that’s mixed in between an abstract groove of stuttered time stretched and reverberated drum sounds and sound effects that hints at mechanical sounds of the ship. A great mechanical rhytmscape once again with some lush glassy synth tones at the end. Labor has got this “nocturnal view on a quiet ship” kind of vibe to it, with mechanical clicks, metallic clangs and rock like sounds forming a soundscape that sounds like machinery and clicking chains on the ship without the sound of sea in the background. It’s like the captain is very focused on his ship, listens to the mechanics, checking if there’s no odd sounds of broken machinery audible with his focused thoughts drowning out the sounds of the sea in the quiet night. Spiral expresses a memory fragment of a calm peaceful night on the ship in the night through a looped sound collage of manipulated music samples and mechanical sounds, making for a great mixture of fuzzy musical ambience and metallic machinery sounds. Granite (strain / tension) embraces metallic and digital sonics with a very glitchy chopped up mixture of mangled Footwork like grooves and Bass Music like resonant synth sounds that do also reference the ship again with their hollow decay. A very captivating composition of sound sculptures mixed with almost continuous grooves with a very inspired feeling for both execution and the form that these sounds are in shaped into. Silent Quarries sounds like a melancholic feeling getting expressed through resonances of the ships structure. Resonant vibrating metal surfaces shaping shifting tones and drones that conjure up a mysterious sense that the ship is alive, as a being of its own. The filtered tones in the first half of the piece also add an organic vocal quality to the textures created on the piece that creates this awesome feeling of both organic and metallic materials creating melodies of their own, deep into the night. On the short piece Tread Well, a catchy guitar melody is tinkling from what sounds like a frame of metal springs vibrating which moves into a low pitched mechanical sound, which leads directly into Cut From. Cut Form is a continuation of Tread Well in which you can hear all kinds of mysterious ghostly low shifting sounds as well as less processed sounding bits of a guitar melody which are combined with chops of acoustic drum sounds, clock sounds and various flying sound effects. The piece sounds a bit like you’re hearing the soundtrack of a moment in time when the captain of the ship is struggling to steer the ship in the right course and time goes by (the clock sounds) as he’s thinking and communicating with the outside world what to do in this uncertain situation when he’s unsure where he is anymore and where he is heading in this ice-cold dark nocturnal seascape. Leak is a great abstract Glitch piece that has some of the classic elements of the style, like several sections containing series of short phased impulse ticks but there are also much more metallic sounds and stuttered percussion loops in here too as well as pitch manipulated vocal samples. Overall the piece is a great glitchscape combined with some more rhythmic samples of chopped crystalline sound and synth outbursts. Then on Thrash we have a short piece consisting of resonant stuttered manipulated vocal music samples, like impulses of strange shiny metallic matter. Home of Depths moves quite deep into the nocturnal sea journey ambience and also features a more continuous rhythm and progression than the pieces before, moving into a more gradual type of evolution of the music. With a more subdued ambience the music gorgeously explores the icy seascape outside with distant drones, crystalized resonant tones, combined with some really catchy jumpy mechanical percussion rhythms. There’s also some more extreme dynamics in the piece with some percussion elements (like a laser like sound) spiking out at some points and the differences in distance between the percussion and drones and resonances in the background bring a great depth to the music, making this perfect music for nocturnal introspective deep listening. Final track Roguelike (perpetual light) starts off with a quite loud melodic richly textured ambience but afterwards moves into a mysterious deep ambience of hollow tones, reverberating mechanical sounds and a minimalist slow melodic pattern on glassy crystal synth. Various quirky synth effects also twirl around in the quiet nocturnal ambience. Quite eerie but also calming, this subdued but also richly detailed piece forms a great quiet ending to Isonautics that works as a great point of rest after the sometimes intense abstraction from the music before. Isonautics by Crown Shyness is an awesome album of imaginative deep and well composed and sound designed soundscapes and abstract experimental music. The album’s concept and especially the references to both the captain’s log about the concept of music as being objects of accumulated frequencies and the abstracted back story about the ship help to guide you into this album’s nocturnal journey through an icy seascape full of details, memories, mixed clusters of sound and musical elements blending into new sonic shapes. The album’s tight tracklist also helps as the 13 tracks playing after each other really smoothly flow from one into another bringing you to a variety of sonic pictures and keeping the album coherent as a whole. Combined with cceggyang and Aldéric Trével’s excellent music video for the track Glacial Romance I highly recommend you to check out this album. This is an especially great listen if you’re a fan of contemporary abstract electronic music that experiments with Club elements, if you like Glitch infused soundscapes or if you’re looking for a nicely varied experience of quality underground Electronic music that freely moves from abstract experiments to more recognisable melodic and rhythmic pieces. Highly recommended. Go check this out. The MP3 download released on QUANTUM NATIVES is available here: http://www.mediafire.com/file/srrbwu4irzs1ymi/Crown+Shyness+-+Isonautics+%28QNR024%29.zip?fbclid=IwAR0-43HBPS3ZFssTkTpqD7Hqz8to9g7sD1nHnJaLQWhHPYrkOvQ7Gx_ani0 Watch the video for Glacial Romance by cceggyang and Aldéric Trével here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=pgurUcMHEPA

[wsubreezeposts-blog]

DTC 356: Multimodal Analysis 1

Our world is based off of ubiquitous networked communication of technologies that are establishing the internet into our daily lives. These daily activities are mediated with software in which, is part of the culture of total surveillance also known as a “Black Box Society”. In fact, Frank Pasquale describes this society to be based off the determination off algorithms that contours our life. Predictive analytics can control the representation of a person’s character based off that individual’s data.

Antoinette Rouvroy defines the structure of this example of a ‘black box society’ as “algorithimic governmentally”, “a logic that simply ignores the embodied individuals it affects and has as its sole ‘subject’ a ‘statistical’. In other words, the personal attributes of our motivations, intentions do not matter. Algorithmic knowledge focuses on predictive aspects that don’t have the purpose of challenging people or content in which is the root of “knowledge without truth”.  In other words, knowledge production is being controlled, or at least accessed. “This explosion of data, but also of forms and persons, it is a hyperdexation of absolutely everything, including the personal form” (Rouvroy). In addition, hyperlinks, key words and other relational infrastructures determine quality that, also affect individuals in the way they compose themselves autobiographically, biographically in the way they self-reflect. "The concept of truth is increasingly wrapped up at the expense of pure reality or actuality to the extent that eventually things seem to be speaking for themselves( Rouvry, 2).

Smart phone usage is also large aspect of this because of the data that is being recorded based off our digital foot print. One example of surveilling data going into a complete spiral is the Black Mirror episode “Nosedive”. In this episode, Classism is used as a metaphor to address the social constructed limitations of individualism and free will through a social media app. Society is shaped into a caste system based off an individual’s personal score that can affect their reputation and access to resources. Members of this society are involved with eye contact lenses allowing users to access an individual’s personal life. “This raises the issue of how social media is affecting society, or large parts of it, and leads to the view that we are entering into a new paradigm that is changing behavior and society1”.(Public Interest and Private Rights in Social Media, edited by Cornelis Reiman, Elsevier Science, 2012. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/wsu/detail.action?docID=15750).Although the social structure of race doesn’t exist, the integrity of an individual’s reputation is based off a 5-star rating scale. This rating not only impacts a person’s life, but also enables a discriminatory accent in society through the establishment of hierarchy. “The issue, then, is what binds people to become part of a collective, and what keeps them together, such as to advance a common ideal, or share in a broader experience that, in itself, is the social media community, (Public Interest and Private Rights in Social Media.).

Individuals with a score below 3.0 average are perceived as an “untouchable” because of their low rating and the consequence of disobeying the system leads towards a jail like setting of solidarity.

In addition, an individual’s social media profile depends on the validation and humanity’s interaction between each other. “Nosedive” addresses social media as the deciding factor of an individual’s quality of life, that’s based off an individual’s profile rating. Enforced positive interactions creates an illusion of removing emotional and physical pain.

Social network analyzes the connections among people, instead of connections among computers. “Indeed, as more and more entities and relationships accumulate, there’s really nowhere to stop, short of mapping out the network of relationships between everything in the entire universe” (Pomerantz,450). One example, I noticed of data surveillance affecting my life is looking through the account setting of my Facebook Profile and seeing the information that Facebook has gathered from my usage. Sexuality, political belief and location were a few things that alarmed me the most.

Data is the dominating factor of our society that can manifest the order of our daily lives. In fact, pattern recognition is a method of connecting the dots of past behavior in which can affect health, race relations medicine and other records. Pasquale wrote “marketers crave that information, and the vacuum left by bureaus has been filled by a behind-the-scenes cohort of unregulated data gatherers, brokers, sensor networks, and analysts who collect and scrutinize every bit of spoor, digital and otherwise, that we leave behind” (Pasquale,25).  

The measurable types of “we are data” are made up of technical constructions and logics of classification that depict online behavior. “Knowledge about who we are is constructed according to what ethicist Luciano Floridi refers to as the “small patterns” in data, or what political theorist Stephen Collier would call “patterns of correlation,” that extend the limits of conventional knowledge” (Xbox,43). Every decision we make, is calculated into a pattern, that is transcribed as a meta data reading. This is both problematic and beneficial for society because of the accountability of this type of data. However, if our personal data is put into the wrong hands, then the possibility for new social order. James Cole compares the action of analyzing personal data to a popular metaphor: the needle in the haystack and argues “if you’re looking for the needle in the haystack, you have to have the entire haystack to look through”. His argument resonates with Google’s mission statement, “to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful”.

Furthermore, “your data is a source of huge profit to other people, but often at your data”. Thousands of eyes associated with the NSA and other data collection agencies have access to analyze our data. Reporting agencies can monitor our utility bills, rent payments and medical debts, that can cause risk of changing the order of our lives based on false hood. “Bad inferences are a larger problem than bad data because companies can represent them as “opinion” rather than fact” (Pasquale,32). In fact, these types of companies gain advantage of hiding behind opinion than being based off facts because of the First Amendment. “Brokers combine, swap, and recombine the data they acquire into new profiles, which they can then sell back to original collectors or to other firms” (Pasquale,30). Discrimination in our society is not only prominent but also in the cyber world of data. Data discriminatory behavior perpetuates negative stereotypes that usually are associated with race, ethnic background, gender and sexual orientation in real life situations. For example, having bad credit can make your data representation appear as unreliable and “lazy”. Big Data is a black and white situation with very little grey to balance opinion and fact.

Our data is the economy of Today. For example, investors from Cornell University did an experiment on online behavior on Facebook in 2012 and found “emotional states can be transferred to others via emotional contagion, leading people to experience the same emotions without their awareness” (Young,2). “In this study, researchers took a large sample of Facebook users (about seven hundred thousand people) and learned that when ‘positive’ expressions were removed from a population’s News Feed (no longer would you see people write things like “I really”), users posted more ‘positive’ and less ‘negative’ updates”(Lippold, 48).

Link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epI5r0_T_lE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAB3xtZQank

[afootnotetoallthisnoise-blog]

on ‘lady bird’, ‘love, simon’, and teenagers’ relationships on film

(Plug: this new YouTuber is way better at analysing film/TV than I am.)

I just watched Lady Bird and Love, Simon on a flight to New York, and since both films are deeply preoccupied with teenagers’ platonic, romantic, and familial relationships, I wanted to look at what I thought was original and fresh about these films’ perspectives – and what was more derivative and inauthentic.

i. parent-child relationships: attention and complexity

Lady Bird is centred around the titular girl and her developing identity, relationships and aspirations through her final year of high school. Easily the deepest and most emotionally arresting aspect of Lady Bird is Christine’s, or ‘Lady Bird’s’, relationships with her family, particularly her mother, Marion. This film works hard to expand a turbulent mother-daughter relationship past the simple archetypes of ‘moody teenage daughter’ and ‘unreasonable bitch mother’, into a more complex, three-dimensional whole which incorporates both the faults and the humanity that both characters have. Not only are both characters viewed singly as well as in relation to each other – LB is not solely ‘Marion’s daughter’, Marion does not solely exist as ‘LB’s mother’ – the film moves past a simply summed-up conflict into a more complicated picture, where both LB and Marion are driven by desires, fears and anxieties they can’t completely articulate to themselves, but which drive conflict both through difference in perspective and through inability to communicate.

There are painful, powerful, intense moments in Lady Bird where LB and Marion are struggling to communicate, to reconcile their differing views and convey themselves properly. LB’s confused but intense desire to go to New York, a place where she believes she will experience things which constitute ‘life’, exists alongside Marion’s grief at LB’s ostensible rejection of the life she has worked to give her, and neither are made out to be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They love each other deeply, but they can’t articulate the fears, anxieties, and stubborn desires which complicate their relationship, so their silent moments of shared, intense emotion – like the audiobook at the beginning of the film – are coupled with frustrated moments of crosstalk, mutual misunderstanding, hurt, affront, and anger. LB, as a self-centred, self-discovering adolescent, often fails to think about how her actions and speech are affecting her family, whilst Marion’s worry and care about LB manifest in being overly critical – she seems completely incapable of speaking positively to LB, including a deeply painful moment where she refuses to compliment LB’s prom dress.

They both reminded me of real people I know, real pangs of discomfort I’ve felt hearing a family friend speak slightly disparagingly about her daughter’s university chances, or an old acquaintance roll his eyes at his parents’ careful efforts to help him. It felt so refreshing seeing that complexity get handled on film – often parents are just supplementary figureheads in their child’s story (or vice versa), and if the film is interested in the parent-child relationship, it rarely gets its teeth into the sheer nastiness which can come out in certain parent-child relationships. There are, of course, teenager-centric films which get into complex parent-child dynamics – the differing burdens of childhood illness on parents and children, like in The Fault in Our Stars; parents’ work intersecting with children’s feelings of neglect, like in Coraline; radical inability to communicate or understand, e.g. The Virgin Suicides – but that richness of both love and frustration on both sides is a rare thing to see.

Love, Simon isn’t aiming to be as deep on this matter as Lady Bird, but it still has its own insights. Mostly Simon’s family is pretty happy and saccharine, but when Simon comes out, I think Simon’s father’s reaction – garbling a joke, panicking, leaving, shutting down – showed excellent acting and direction: it did what most good acting does, which is to break down a dichotomy of response (here, between the coming-out reactions of ‘I love you and everything’s fine’ and ‘BEGONE FROM THE PREMISES, DEMON GAY’). That confused, choked response conveyed the rush of forces acting on Simon’s father: desire to defuse the tension, desire to support, desire to downplay the situation, confusion, shock, grief at the reality of change, grief at the loss of a presumed similarity, grief that he hadn’t realised sooner. I’m sure more realistic reactions like that have happened in films before, but I haven’t personally seen any, and I found it refreshing: it broke down the scripted feel of both overly saccharine and uniformly harsh reactions, both of which close the door to further growth and development in the parents’ reaction to their child’s queerness.

ii. romantic relationships: centrality, development

In Love, Simon, there are tropes present, but I liked how it approached some aspects of teenagers’ romantic relationships. The ambiguity about Blue’s identity meant that we got a different model for how relationships can develop, pertinent in an age where dating is conceptualised as mainly visual (think the structure of apps like Tinder) and connection is determined through in-person interaction, but where, conversely, deep, lasting relationships have developed without that visual focus since the advent of the internet (through MMORPGs like World of Warcraft, for instance). The bit at the end was cheesy, but that’s what they were going for, and it was so sweet to watch.

Most of the other romantic stuff was pretty run-of-the-mill – the couple who like each other but things keep getting in the way; the unrequited crush; etc – but there’s one other aspect I’d like to mention, which is how Simon’s falling-out with his friends is handled about 2/3 of the way through the film. A less nuanced film would just have Abby, Leah, and Nick getting pissed that Simon meddled in Abby and Nick’s relationship, without them understanding about Simon’s bind due to Martin’s blackmail. But what I liked was that both Abby and Leah acknowledge the pressure that the blackmail put on Simon, but they make clear that it doesn’t excuse his disrespect for both Abby (by treating her like a ‘piece of meat’ to be given to Martin in exchange for his own safety) and Leah (by sending her on a date with a man he thought she loved, knowing that he wasn’t interested in her). It’s not the tired ‘it’s all a misunderstanding, guys’ conflict: they understand what happened, but they still argue that Simon’s disrespect for their own romantic lives and autonomy wasn’t okay.

While Love, Simon is dually focused on Simon’s coming out and his budding relationship – though the two threads aren’t separate – LB’s relationships in Lady Bird are significant but aren’t the central focus of the movie, which I liked; while it makes sense for a romantic relationship to be central to Love, Simon, since it’s a sensible mode within which to discover something like queerness (which is intrinsically tied up with your relationships to other people), Lady Bird’s focus on self-discovery works better with the romantic relationships not being central, otherwise it would perpetuate the tired stereotype that a woman’s ‘coming of age’ has to be pretty-much-entirely experienced through falling in love with a man. (It being central is fine, but I don’t like the implications that somehow, teenage girls cannot Mature into Full Human Beings unless a dude and his dick shows up.) LB’s two relationships are with the too-perfect-guy and the douchebag-who-doesn’t-give-a-shit, neither of which provide really new perspectives on teenagers’ romantic relationships – neither character has much depth in the film, either – but I thought the sex scene and its aftermath was very well done: LB’s recognition that the performative significance she’d given her first sexual experience was different from the reality, and her recognition that the guy she’d slept with wasn’t worth the language she’d inherited for it, rang very true. (Also, the situation bore out some excellent humour. ‘I was on top! Who the hell is on top for their first time?!’)

iii. friendships: the status problem

I think Lady Bird is a great film, but the part I found the least inspiring was LB’s friendship arc. I’m pretty sick of this formula: protagonist is best friends with good, loyal, but low-status friend/s -> protagonist manages to get in with the popular kids and abandons their low-status friend/s -> protagonist realises popular kids are shallow assholes and they’ve made a horrible mistake -> protagonist apologetically returns to low status friend/s, there is a bit of anger and conflict, but eventually they all make nice. I’m sick of it because I feel like it doesn’t ring true.

Now, I have been through secondary school, recently though not overly so (I graduated from sixth form in 2015). I know that status is a thing in secondary school and that it exerts an influence. But I dislike this ubiquitous storyline which implies that a) every school conforms to a rigid hierarchy of popularity and that b) literally everyone gives a shit about improving their status. I found Love, Simon’s group of four much more authentic in this regard: ultimately, Simon’s group of four just enjoy each other’s company, rather than being rigidly grouped based on status or fitting a recognised ‘type’. Depicting popularity as being present but not all-encompassing seems to resonate more with how my school worked, where there were recognisable groups but a lot of boundary-blurring, and where different subcultures could - usually - peacefully coexist alongside each other.

Because it adheres closely to the student-social-climber model, the astounding depth of familial relationships and notable depth of romantic relationships in Lady Bird isn’t replicated in LB’s friendships. Not every character needs to be an incredibly complex seventeen-year-old (I’m fine with Kyle just being a bit of a bored poser), but I feel like the film either tried and failed to give Jenna depth or just agreed she wouldn’t have any, and I feel like it would have really served the story for LB to realise that the girl at the top of the totem pole actually had problems and internal conflict, despite her status and wealth. As it is, she just stays ‘bored rich chick’ from beginning to end. Julie isn’t given as much depth as she could be either – all her appearances just seem to reinforce ‘sweet nerd archetype’, and no attention is given to her own brief romantic relationship and romantic turmoil - though I don’t begrudge them the prom scene (it was very sweet).

Overall, I didn’t realise just how refreshing it would feel to see a group of friends who experience growth, development and conflict, but who also just really like getting iced coffee together! And the fact that it did highlights a problem with friendship stereotypes in high school movies.