#bit more simple in terms of theory

[forevergulag]

We all know trains are much more efficient and productive than cars, but if so, than why are cars the dominant mode of transportation in the us, a bourgeois state interested in maximizing production of surplus value?

it comes down to the system American bourgeoisie have for enforcing their competing policies through the state against other bourgeois, being lobbying, a system in which the capitalist with most capital gets to enforce their policy while the capitalist with less wealth does not. it is not "bribery" or "corruption", as that implies that the bourgeois state was not originally a bourgeois state.

oil and car lobbyists have high interests in protecting their field of industry, one which has historically produced extremely high rates of surplus value production, giving them the extra capital to protect their industry, and though trains as the dominant mode of transport would be much more efficient for the capitalist class across the board, it would weaken the oil and automobile industries, so they spend their capital to prevent that through their state.

[mantisgodsdomain]

Now that we're not too thick into things to lose sight of our own... self, things are both more manageable and a bit more embarrassing. It's been a while since we've fully broken down like this, and doing it again is a mixture of Not Fun and Something We Sort Of Feel We Should Have Grown Beyond. Something between the normal breakdown emotions and the awareness that we have the tools to handle this, we should be able to handle this - and yet, here we are again, not handling it. We are aware, in theory, that there's no accounting for irrational thinking, but in practice, we cannot help feeling a bit... something, with ourself. Keeping our own brain stable remains, as always, a full-time job. Awful work, as always. But it has to be done. When it comes down to it, there is no one who can help us navigate our own head but ourself, and it is our responsibility to ourself to make sure that we do not end up making things worse than where we started.

[makelemonade]

THE FATUI’S CUMSLUT

all the male harbingers except Pulcinella

Really it all starts out simple; you were just a simple secretary for the Harbingers who worked directly under Pantalone.

So naturally it starts because of him.

He likes talking to you- not like, actually, loves. You’re the only person who’s actually willing to listen to his constant rambles about his theories of currency and he doesn’t know if it’s out of fear or because you’re actually willing but he still finds comfort in it.

It’s so comforting that honestly, it kinda turns him on…like no one has ever actually sat with him and listened to him with such focus that he’s lining over you, both lovingly and sickingly.

How the stress relief starts…he’s bold.

by bold, meaning you quite literally caught him jerking off to the thought of you as you walked into bring him a few papers to sigh, and he was bold enough to ask you for your help; and of course you oblige!

okay now actually onto the actual smut part;

Pantalone, who is probably the second sweetest out of all of them when he fucks you. As teasing as he is, he makes sure to pleasure you.

Pantalone, who just laughs when you say you want to pleasure him instead, and he’ll tell you that your pleasure is enough to get him off for days.

Pantalone, who sometimes just can’t handle all the stress the others push on him and he’ll come find you, bending you over any near substance and prioritizing his pleasure just for a bit.

Pantalone, who can also just push you against the wall of the castle halls, not caring if anyone sees you. He knows the risk turns you on, and he loves it.

Pantalone, who fucks into you so passionately yet roughly; so obsessed with how your tits bounce he just has to grope them as he fucks you. He might even fuck them too, and let you suck the tip of his cock.

Pantalone, who passes this information onto his good partner Dottore, who decides he has to really test out the theory that you’re as good as Pantalone says you are.

Dottore, who decides he’ll need you for certain experiments. You’re hesitant, but he promised he’d never do anything to hurt his loyal assistant.

Dottore, whose experiments are really just seeing how many times you can cum on a drug, a toy, his hand or his dick.

Dottore, who is WAY more teasing than Pantalone and wants to pleasure you, but makes sure his pleasure is always given no matter what.

Dottore, who loves to try any new kink or idea with you. Whether it be bondage, role playing kink- anything! you’re the only one he will do it with

Dottore, who is just so rough on your poor cunt :( who’ll rub your clit as he fucks into you so harshly, the slaps echoing through his lab.

Dottore, who WILL fuck you in front of the segments or have multiple of them fuck you while he watches

Dottore, who then passes this onto his comrade, Capitano.

Capitano, who is the sweetest out of all of them.

Capitano, who yes, does need you for his stress relief but he doesn’t wanna hurt you. Instead, he’ll go at your own pace- he knows his cock is too big for you and is patient to get you ready.

Capitano, who praises the most out of them all. It’s a shock because he’s typically quiet, but a “good girl” will make you cum on the spot.

Capitano, who will only go rough on you once you beg him too, and he will quite literally fuck you like a monster.

Capitano, who is just so big even his fingers make you go crazy. He’ll wipe your tears as you complain about how big it is and he’ll try his best to soothe you.

Capitano, when rough, goes absolutely drunk on your pussy and fucks his cum into it for hours even if you’re too overstimulated.

Capitano, who’s coat is so big that when the others aren’t using you, he’ll have you sit on his lap during meetings and wrap his coat around you- hiding how you’re warming his cock, or sometimes he might not even use the coat.

Capitano, who passes this information onto his good friend, Pierro.

Pierro, who could be the sweetest if we considered this in terms of how gentle they were when they fuck you.

Pierro, who is actually practically monsterfucking you whenever he chooses to use you.

Pierro, who is sweet because he doesn’t like to use you a lot- he knows how much the others do and how much it makes you sore so instead he’s the king of aftercare, making sure you come to him after them if they don’t take care of you so that he can.

Pierro, who sometimes just can’t help it because he’s too stressed out, and has to bend you over his desk and fuck you for hours.

Pierro, who does care about your pleasure just a bit, but you are his stress relief aren’t you? He’ll remind you as he cums for the nth time in you, you a babbling a mess.

Pierro, who isn’t really as kinky or exhibiting as the others and likes to fuck you in the comfort of his office. However, he may steal Capitano’s idea and slowly and subtly bounce you on his cock while you’re under his coat, hiding from the others.

Pierro, who’s dick is just too big that the moment he even lets the tip in you’re already going absolutely drunk on his cock.

Pierro, who notices Childe’s recent sickness caused by his delusion, and suggests a reason for him to finally relax in certain ways; you.

Childe, who is the last on the list of being the sweetest.

Childe, who sure, he’ll praise you when you do so good and degrade you just how you like- will use you the most out of all the men

Childe, who is just soooo tired and stressed and he needs your pussy to suck his cock in at least once every hour.

Childe, who will have you cockwarm him as he does his work and spanks your thigh when you try to get some relief and tells you to be patient and that he’ll tend to you once he’s done.

Childe, who does care about your pleasure and makes sure to make you cum first, but the real reason is because he wants you overstimulated so you can cry and beg for him to stop- it turns him on because you know you don’t want him to.

Childe, who will fuck you anywhere and everywhere. The lounge rooms? Every couch has been used. The kitchen? You’ve been bent over every counter? The halls? He’ll hold you up and fuck into you.

Childe, who does not care if someone sees or hears you two and will purposely make you scream so the subordinates outside his office can hear and remind them that they can’t have someone as gorgeous as you.

Childe, who even if it seems like he sees you as his cock sleeve, does care about you and makes sure you get good aftercare and will massage you- him and Pierro are great minds alike.

Childe, who is the one to suggest to all of them to use you when they’re all in the castle.

You, who by the end of the day, is a babbling mess; you’re covered in their cum while some of it dropped out of all your holes. There were honestly hundreds of bite and hickey marks littered over you- your neck, thighs, tits, ass, hips. It’s insane. and all they can think about is how they can’t wait to continue using your slutty pussy.

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[soo0hee]

Splish, Splash Pt. 1/2

Pairing — Lifeguard!Hong Jisoo/Joshua x afab!Lifeguard!Reader

Summary — When you get stuck with the new guy at your shifts, you weren't sure what to make of him. His bright smile and the everlasting sunshine he seemed to carry around, paired with the good natured sass and way to juicy ass left you reeling. Will you be able to survive the summer without losing your mind?

Genre — fluff, angst, Lifeguard!Au, enemies to lovers au

Warnings — suggestive, cursing, alcohol, sexual harrassment, dare i say men(?)

Word Count — 4.0k

Rating — PG-13 — [may change for part 2]

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©soo0hee on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

This work is part of the Carat Bay Collab by @camandemstudios ! Please check them out!

When one was working at a waterpark, they usually expected to get wet or hit by water at certain points of their job. Someone splashing around, a waterball that came rolling or straight up just jumping in to get someone out of it.

And yet, somehow when small drops hit you, you still flinched in surprise at the sudden contact.

It wasn’t on purpose, more like an instinct when the cold of it hit your skin that had you shuddering and flinch away from the offending liquid. Somethibg you should be, in theory, used to after 2 years of working at CaratBay. Or at least one would think so.

But somehow you still reacted the exact same way then when you had first started.

You still remembered your first day and how hard your new coworker and future best friend had laughed when he saw the mortification on your face , drops of water sliding down and dripping from your chin after having been drenched unexpectedly by a kid jumping in close by.

What you would give to have him laugh at you again if that meant to have him back as your shift partner instead of the new guy you had been presented with by the higher ups just 3 weeks ago.

Wooyoung, even if the biggest menace you had ever gotten to meet in your entire life, was who had gotten you out of your personal bubbleand build up the confidence you needed not to let guests talk over you and stand up for yourself and the decicisons that needed to be made to keep them and yourself safe.

And now he was gone. Not gone gone but moved far enough away to have him search for a job that wasn’t on the other side of seoul.

You wanted him back and the new guy gone. Hong Jisoo or Joshua as he introduced himself to you.

He seemed nice enough at first glance. His friendly smile and the way the rest of the staff kind of flogged to him instantly. And you had to admit he did look good.

Joshua was a good guy, that much you could tell but somehow you didn’t find yourself inclined to make an effort and get to know him on a personal level.

He was a coworker and that was it. No friendship – no getting close. A coworker.

It was easy to stick to that principle at first. Only talking to each other when it was about guests or the Bay in total, not giving to many details about your privat life instead keeping a polite distance that left you room to breath and that was it. Joshua accepted it.

Until he didn’t.

You had the feeling that it wasn’t because he didn’t accept the boundary you put in place but more because he genuinely tried to be on good terms with you. Simple things really like sitting at the same table at the parks restaurant during break time while you ate your fries, bringing you some water when he got himself one to stay hydrated or when offered to take your pool bar shift in the evening because he noticed you being uncomfortable when some idiots got a bit to tipsy and started flirting outrageously cause he was just sweet like that. And so you couldn’t be mad even if you wanted to be.

Snacking on your food you quietly watched Yuna, one of the other Lifeguards console a crying girl after she had fallen while running after an older boy. It was rare that you actually worked together with her as she was assigned a different are of the park, but every now and then there moments when you saw each other in passing. Like now where she took over while you were on break.

Joshua sat opposite you, scrolling on his phone while neither disturbed the hanging silence between you both. Not uncomfortable but definitely noticeable.

Mindlessly you reached for the next fry.

“Soo‐” your eyes flickered to the man as he suddenly spoke up, leaned back and gaze fixed on you while you pushed the fry into your mouth only to promptly—

“-why don’t you like me?”

— choke on it.

Coughing you stared at him in surprise before taking the offered water to flush down the part of the fry that left you gasping.

“I mean… I never said I didn’t like you…” you choked out and cleared your throat to get your voice back to normal.

“You also never acted like you don’t. Don’t get me wrong, you’re never rude just– distant?” not once did his friendly smile drop from his face. He seemed almost curious.

“Distant?” you asked.

“Distant.” He answered. “In 3 weeks, this is our first conversation that’s not about the park. At least not directly. So yeah, distant.”

Now that he said it, distant wasn’t wrong.

“I’m not- I mean I wasn’t—”

“But you are. And it’s okay, I don’t judge. You don’t know me and from what I gathered from the others, you were pretty close with the lifeguard before me.”

A little disarmed by his friendliness you needed a moment to gather yourself. You leaned forward to catch his eyes and gave him a much to sweet looking smile.

“You’re right, I don’t know you.”

“But you also don’t want to know me.” A statement more then it was a question the man accepted your answer with a nod.

“I don’t know you.” You repeated yourself.

“We’ve established that.” With one last look on his phone he put it back into the pocket of his shorts and got up. “But if you want to, you know where to find me”

Gone before you could answer you leaned back, baffled and nut hungry anymore you huffed.

The rest of the shift had been no different then before you went on break, the only difference being that Joshua was a lot more smiley then before.

You ignored it for the time being and when you fell in bed that night his words came to catch up, never leaving your mind and not letting you rest before you admitted to yourself that you had been a bit of an asshole to the man. You had told yourself that it wasn’t that you disliked him and that you had only been distant, yet somehow you found yourself not even willing to give him a chance.

“You also don’t want to know me.”

Joshua was right. So far you hadn’t even entertained the idea of it and that had been an A class asshole move.

The blanket shifted beside you, the added weight and the almost inaudible purring announcing the arrival of one of your kittens.

Nelli the blue ragdoll baby you had adopted from a shelter after your friend had take you to join her to walk a 2 of the dogs she regularly went out with was the by far cuddlier one of the two while, Sua, a white British shorthair, would rather liked to stay close but never wanted any pats unless she asked for them first.

The little kitten nudged your face with her nose and curled together next to your head, sounding like an engine running without it’s energy draining and soothing you to sleep.

--------

The coffee cup on Joshua’s locker in the changing room the next morning was a surprising but not unwelcome development the man certainly didn’t reject. He hadn’t slept a lot, not yet used to the silence his new apartment brought and how lonely he would be after moving halfway across the country.

Honestly it should have been something to expect after knowing only few people. The guys working at Carat Bay were amazing, taking to him like he had been with them for years and inviting him wherever they could. However the silence once the apartment door fell shut behind him was deafening.

So yes, the coffee was like a godsend gift this morning. The note attached to it however had him not just reeling but send his mind down an actual rollercoaster of emotions.

*Noticed you didn’t catch much sleep*

Simple and without a name he read the note obviously meant to stay anonymous.

And if he wasn’t able to recognize the handwriting, unique with its own little quirks, it might have even worked.

The t’s looking a little like d’s made it more then obvious who the author if it had been.

For a moment Joshua thought he’d gone entirely crazy from lack of sleep.

And then he found the this time slightly bigger portion of fries you ate in your break pushed slightly more to the middle of the table, a second plastic fork placed right next to it.

He tried catching your eyes to confirm that he wasn’t overstepping in anyway but you just stared at the giant palm tree behind him, seemingly lost in thought. Or simply avoiding his eyes like you usually did. He wasn’t sure which was the case.

Only for a small moment did Joshua think he had seen your eye twitch before it was gone again, yet you stayed silent and kept munching.

Well okay then, he thought and took a second fry to dip it into the ketchup.

A bit later after he had pulled a struggling and quite out of breath 7 year old out of the water who was trying to prove that he indeed was able to keep up with his older brother and his friend, the male was almost hit in the face with one of the waterparks provided towels meant for its staff and again a bit after that he thought he saw the beginning of a hesitant smile thrown in his direction.

He was ashamed to admit that his very first instinct had been to turn around and check if there was someone standing behind him only to promptly want to smack his head against the pool tiles when realizing that you had actually meant to look at him.

Thinking that day would be a one time occurrence had apparently also been a mistake as the days to come were much the same. Small moments in which it seemed like you were actively trying to bridge the gap between them without being to obvious in your attempts.

Joshua couldn’t help but think it was adorable how you worked yourself up to walk over to him and do the simplest of things like he was going to eat you if you so much as looked at him now. He knew you would do that with him should he ever dare voice those thoughts out loud.

“I’m getting a new crate pineapple juice.” He muttered in passing just as you handed a young woman her Piña Colada and scanned her wrist banned to add the drink to her tab.

“Can you bring a cherry one too? I’m almost out.”

The question was simple in itself and with everyone else he wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

With a wink and teasing, “You got it!” he disappeared behind a palm tree, leaving you to tend the pool bar alone for the time being.

It was a week day, so things were slow as most people were either working or at school at this time. Most were couples or small groups of friends seeking to get away from the daily stress of life.

The group of boys splashing each other not to far from where you were serving and had up until now annoyed more then half of the visitors you had currently spending their time in your area was laughing loudly while flicking water at eachother.

You rounded the bar walked to the edge of the pool, sharply blowing the whistle hanging from around your neck. The noise echoed from the walls and had multiple people look at you as you crouched down fixing them with a look that meant business.

“Keep it down, you’re not the only ones here and others would appreciate it if they got the same chance to unwind here like you do.”

One of the 3 mock saluted and dove right under water. His friend following right behind while the third ran his hand through his wet hair; eyes never leaving you even when you got up and checked with a quick look if the bar needed attention again. The look he had sent chills down your back even in the tropical heat inside the dome in which the regular pool was placed.

“Come one baby, we were just having fun! No need to be a buzzkill.”

His tone was obviously meant to be flirty but the way he said it gave you the heebie jibbies.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t alone in this pool. Please keep it down.”

You stepped back and left him with one last look.

Joshua came back carrying the crates and went back behind the bar. Having already seen that you were busy at the pool he didn’t worry that you weren’t where he had left you and when you joined him again he simply asked if everything was okay.

“Just some rowdy boys who can’t keep it down.”

“So nothing new?”

“No not really.” You chuckled and opened the industrial dishwasher below the counter. Steam surrounded you , causing you to wave your hands through the warm cloud to make it go away.

He looked past you to eye them like you had done before leaving your post earlier.

“Think they’re gonna cause trouble?”

“Not sure. Maybe just a bit excited but I didn’t get the vibe that they’d actually out for it.”

You grabbed the warm plastic cups and dried them over before stacking them back up. Joshua pushed the cherry and pineapple juice crates into their stack system.

Nodding you looked at the couple swimming up to you.

“What can I get for you?”

“Just a Fanta and some beer, please.”

You got the order started, scanning the chip the man held out to you and handed them over.

“Here you go.” You said with your customer service smile.

The two sat down at the build into the water seats to enjoy their drinks.

Not long after you recognized the 3 boys from before approach the bar. They had actually kept it down a bit much to the other visitors delight but somehow you felt the air shift.

“What can I get for you 3?” you asked, keeping your tone neutral with Joshua watching carefully.

“2 beers for these idiots and you for me baby.” His words had you halt, eyebrows jumping almost all the way up into your hair line.

The line was uncalled for and you’d rather he’d swim away again but went over to the cooler for said beers. Joshua having heard what had been said too, kept quiet and caught your eyes, waiting for you to signal to have him take over. You shook your head, telling him you were good.

“Here, your chips please?”

“Or instead I could have your number instead of a tab?”

You stared unimpressed with the scanner in your hand.

“Just the chips are fine.”

The two beside him let out a dramatic “Ohhhhhhh!” and “Damn girl, why so mean!” and you really had to hold yourself together to not roll your eyes right into your skull at their behavior.

“Pay your drinks or we’ll have to ask you to leave the premises.” Joshua called over, hovering behind you and waiting for them to react.

The held their hands up in surrender and gave you the chip. Quickly you scanned it down and watched them leave. The displeased frown on mr-number-instead did not go unnoticed.

And that was it.

The vanished a bit later, plastic cups carelessly left behind and not a trace of them in sight. You were glad, guessing that the 3 must have gone to a different part of the park just as Yuna came to take over.

"You good?" you heard Joshua ask as you made your way around the pool.

"Sure. Just an idiot thinking he's god's gift to mankind. Nothing new and nothing that hasn't happened before at some point. Youngie hated when I told him off for taking over without me asking for help, so thank you for letting me handle it. A least somewhat."

Joshua nodded. He understood why this Youngie wanted to help, the disgust he felt for the guy was still causing his stomach to churn when he thought back.

"It's all good. He was out of line and he should have backed off when you told him to."

Time went by without a hitch. Nothing happened beside the normal occurrences. A scraped knee from falling on the wet tiles and a busted lip and bleeding nose after collision underwater by 2 girls and the clock already struck 7pm. A loud gong went of telling everyone that it was time to make their way home soon.

The regular pool was one of the last parts of Carat Bay to close. The kids area and Waterslide already closed along with the Merchstand and Restaurants so it was only a matter of time until people were showered and on the way to the parking lot.

You stretched your arms and back and suppressed a yawn, feeling tired and more then ready to go home soon.

“Where is Joshua?”

Seungkwan, usually stationed at the Flow Rider stood by the swing door separating the main area and the visitor changing rooms, waiting for Vernon who came from the wave pool and looked up from his phone.

“Shua-hyung? Wanted to check the pool one last time before changing. Isn’t he back yet?”

You shock your head.

“Well he’s probably done soon. Anyways I’m heading out now. You coming?” the last part directed at Vernon he saluted quickly and was gone. The slightly younger right behind him.

You tried to oversee the pool, hoping to see your coworker coming back already but with a defeated sigh you gave up. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Joshua to do his job, you knew he was more then capable to do so, but it didn’t stop you from checking again yourself.

You found him further in the back behind a shut of waterfall and you froze.

Oh boy.

Joshua stood shoulder deep in the water, hair wet, water running down his face and falling into the pool. His black shirt clinging tightly onto his way to defined chest and arms, mocking in a way.

Of course you knew that he was attractive. You had tried to avoid him but you weren’t blind. You had seen that he hid well defined muscles underneath the fabric of his shirt but right now, it wasn’t just obvious. It was like a punch to the face, begging to be stared at.

What was even worse was that in the clear water you could see very well the shorts of his showcasing his thighs even if it was a little shaky.

“Uhmm…” you said a little dumb sounding even to your own ears. Joshua having noticed you standing at the edge lit up further then he should have in your opinion and triumphantly held up a pair of pink glasses.

“Found it!”

“F-found what?”

He held the glasses up higher.

“These! A woman called a said that their daughter probably left their glasses at the island, so I went and checked and voila! I got em.”

“I can see that.” Among other things. ”That doesn’t explain why you are in the water?”

With raised eyebrows and a picked up jaw you clearly didn’t care to hide the amusement you felt as you stared him down with crossed arms. Eyes quickly flicking up from his broad shoulders to his face.

Joshua looked like you had grown a second head. “To get the glasses? Didn’t you hear me?”

You nodded slowly.

“Yeah, no I got that part. What I don’t get is why you didn’t use the bridge to get there…”

It was almost comical how his face changed from Duh! to Huh? to Ohhh. As he looked back at the island and saw the bridge leading over to the little island where he came from.

Snorting you tried to hide your laugh and failed epically.

The man in the pool splashed you with water in retaliation.

“Don’t laugh, woman!” he fake whined, pout clearly there on hips.

Staggering back a bit to avoid the water you laughed again and Joshua couldn’t help but relish in the sound.

“I’m sorry!”

“No you aren’t.”

“No I’m not.”

“At least help me out of here!”

You sat down, smile not even attempted to be hidden from him as you stared at his hand reaching out for you to take.

“Just take the stairs over there.” You hummed.

“Y/nn!”

“Okay, jesus fine you big baby!”

The playful banter did not get lost on either of you and you hated to admit that you enjoyed the moment a lot more then you thought. It felt as easy as breathing.

Maybe you should have been a bit more hesitant and maybe you should have seen it coming when you took his hand ready to pull him out but instead of him actually coming up and out of the water, you suddenly found yourself in it with him.

“HONG JOSHUA?!” You shrieked loudly as soon as you came back up for air, blindly splashing water into the direction you heard him cackle loudly before rubbing the water out of your eyes.

You had still been wearing your red bathing suit and the standard black shorts so at least you didn’t get drenched in your normal clothes but you hadn’t expected to have to dry yourself completely before going home either.

Again you splashed him when he could stop laughing at your predicament, now purposefully going after him. Joshua immediately reacted, the glasses he had saved quickly placed on the edge to not damage them before retaliating with just as much enthusiasm and coming closer.

You felt his arms suddenly wrapping around your midsection, barely having time to hold your breath as you suddenly found yourself dunked under. Your fingers held tightly onto him, hoping to avoid your impending doom.

“No, please! I’m sorry I shouldn’t have laughed!” you spluttered quickly.

“But are you really?”

You froze.

His voice was suddenly much closer then you had anticipated and when you looked up you found yourself almost nose to nose with his own. The tone he had used indicating something much darker hidden behind all those soft eyes that seemed to hold something wild and ready to attack given the chance.

“Well, are you…” he hummed into to space between you, making your ears ring as you fidgeted nervously. You could feel the heat of his skin in contrast to the cool of the water. It left you feeling breathless in a way you hadn’t been since your last boyfriend had first asked you out.

You choked out something that sounded a lot like “I– , you—”

when suddenly…

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

Seungkwan.

[galedekarios]

just musing about gale and his parents:

we only have a handful of conversations where he mentions his parents and when he does, it's usually only his mother, morena dekarios.

his mother is mentioned at several points in the game. during a custom protag playthrough, he mentions her in a datamined conversation that appears to be bugged/broken:

and he mentions her at the end of the game as well when he proposes to the player:

i was also able to find another mention in a banter with karlach that usually happens for me shortly after recruiting her:

from gale's origin, this aspect is explored even more deeply:

there's more, of course, and it very clearly shows that the bond he shares with his mother is a deep and loving one from both sides. it's also very interesting that he is called dekarios after his mother and not--even though naming conventions could certainly vary even in waterdeep--after his father.

who he doesn't mention at all.

the only time we do get a vague mention is during a conversation with the protag after saving mirkon from the harpies:

after that, i haven't been able to find any reference, indirect or direct, to gale's father in the game.

so, here we enter theory territory:

i feel that, from a narrative point of view, in keeping with what i think gale's themes are, gale's father may have abandoned gale and his mother when gale was still young.

gale's character is rife with what might be interpreted as abandonment issue and it makes sense to me at least that those weave through his life up until the point where the protag meets him in the game.

another theme with gale is that he appears to have a lot of female figures in this life, who all had a profound impact on him, whether that impact is positive or negative: morena, tara, and yes, mystra.

it feels like to me that he had no father figure--and i use that term a bit more loosely here--until later in his life with elminster. this is already hinted at in a game with a custom protag, but all the more solidified in a gale origin playthrough:

i think without directing telling you, the game does allow you to sort of guess at that part of his background in this way, and understand why gale is as he is as a consequence. you can also understand why he acts as he does with elminster. seeking his approval. yearning for it. being extremely hurt by elminster having to see him like this when mystra sends him to gale to deliver her... instructions. this almost pointed absence of a mention of his father in all his comments (and tara's too, now that i think about it) when it comes to family is glaring to me.

being left, being abandoned, makes it much more understandable to me why he doesn't speak of him at all: if gale's father had died, it would make more sense to me that he would remark on it or share it in some way or another. it might have come up in a banter with wyll, perhaps, who is struggling with the expectations his own father had placed on him.

"he died when i was still very young." perhaps, or something along the lines of, "i barely remember him; he died when i was only a child.", etc etc etc.

YET if gale's father indeed abandoned his mother--who he holds in such high regard, and not to mention his own hurt--i can easily see and understand why he wouldn't waste a word on him.

anyhow yes, this is long and ramble-y, and i 100% might be reading too much into what may be a simple oversight, but it was interesting to me and i still see it as tying in with the theme of abandonment, even though we don't know the reasons for it in this particular case.

was it not wishing to deal with a child with magical talents he couldn't control yet? was it for another reason entirely?

[alwaysshallow]

@bunnyreaper's secret santa thing; I had the pleasure to write for @cooliofango ❤️ I hope you're gonna have the best time reading this, love.

AO3 VERSION

Simon isn't there—that's the first thing you notice, when you wake up.

You think it's odd; he always sticks around, especially in the morning. Either he is reading something in bed, a book or an article, or tries to wake you up, softly, kissing your arm, if it was past nine in the morning.

Right now, even his side of the bed is cold, so he had to leave at least an hour ago, maybe more. You get up with a slight frown on your face, multiple questions in the back of your mind, what possibly could bring Simon out of bed. There's many thoughts, and they aren't really positive; usually if he had to leave, it was something military related. A missile missing, someone to rescue, intel to get or secure.

Being with Riley made you realize how fucked up the world is and how many times it needs to be saved. This time though, in theory, he has vacations that he asked for. Holidays with his girlfriend, he said, which caused you to grin like crazy one, since you loved this term. His girlfriend, his significant other with whom he decided to spend time with, even if he doesn't like holidays.

It's main reason why you aren't really doing anything festive this year; out of respect to him. Sure, you spend more time together, you plan to watch movies tonight, make some food, but nothing really related to Christmas. No lights, no tree, nothing what could possibly trigger his memory with the holidays and make the time worse than it already was.

But now, your boyfriend is nowhere to be seen, and your plans are under a big question mark. You don't even know where he is, if he is here, in your shared house that you've decided to buy a few months ago.

"Baby?" you call out, looking around. There's a few boxes laying on the ground, door is wide-open; if you wouldn't know any better, you'd assume that somebody broke in. Knowing your boyfriend though, how he secured the house... hell, it takes only one wrong move and alarm goes off, as Simon said once, shortly after he installed it.

So, door wide-open, bringing in the cold, clear indicator that he actually is here somewhere. And, sooner than later, you'll see him.

You prefer sooner than later, though, so you go through the door, just to see your man with a tree—Christmas tree, to be precise—with shocked expression on his face. Then, he puts it down, just to sneak his arms around you, tight. Just like he loved to do, practically from the start of your relationship.

For a military man, he is very touch starved, and you try every time to give him the love he deserves.

"You didn't wake me," you murmur into his broad chest, at which he chuckles. You look up at him, seeing his brown eyes sparkling.

"Sorry, love. Had to take care of some things," he says, his hand caressing your back delicately. "But 'm here now. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

"Oh, no, no," you laugh, shaking your head. "I want to know why there's a Christmas tree here. And those boxes? Seems like decorations to me, Mr. Riley."

He acts like you caught him red handed on something; Simon looks away and sighs, just to look at you a few seconds later with a semi-guilty look on his face. You have to hold back a laugh; he seems so stressed about something simple, it's adorable.

"I don't like Christmas," he starts, playing with your hair. "But I know you like 'em. Your eyes sparkle every time you see this shit, lights, trees, everythin' and—"

"—Simon, we don't have to—"

"—let me finish." He looks at you, a bit sternly, so you nod. You have to listen to him, especially if he asks you to. "And I just can't do this to you. Take it away from you. 'm a grown man, it's time to change some things. 'specially those hurtful ones."

You gnaw at your bottom lip, silent for a few seconds, as you try to collect your thoughts about this situation. It's hard not to cry right now, given how he overcomes his own weaknesses, just for you. Just for the both of you, so your future will be brighter.

"You are," you cup his cheeks into your hands, "the best man I've ever, ever met. I'm so lucky to have you, you know? A man that's willing to spend Christmas with me the traditional way, to

“You can't say this shit to me,” he warns, his voice almost a whisper. You raise your eyebrow, but you don't stop kissing his jaw, even when he sighs.

"Because that's so bad? Or because that's the truth and you'll blush any second?" you ask teasingly, at which he rolls his eyes with a small smile on his lips. To see his smile, to see how happy you can make him... you cherish every moment like that, knowing his history. Knowing how hard it was, how hard it still is because demons doesn't go easily.

Yet, you see the progress. His battle, to be more open, to allow himself to be more vulnerable at least around you.

“You’re gonna make me even more addicted," he explains to you, kissing your face a few times. He bangs with his nose against your eyeglasses, but he doesn't really seem to mind. "And I’m already weak. It's like... you're something that I’m not immune to. Everyone will see that later, on that Christmas party.”

He doesn’t say he loves you. That would be crazy, he thinks; every time he told someone he loves them, they died. He doesn't want it to happen with you, not when he didn't think of an idea how to possibly save you, keep you safe and locked, close to his heart.

But he can’t deny that you have him wrapped around your finger and you always will. Task Force 141 knows about you, they even invited you two to the Christmas party later, but the l-word has to wait. You know that he loves you anyway; maybe he doesn't say it, but his actions shows you enough love. And, he has other words—be safe, you know I care about you.

It speaks louder than simple I love you but he knows he's gonna say it. He has to, even for your sake.

"That's good. I love you being addicted." You grin, hugging him even tighter. "Because I'm addicted to you as well. To my big, wonderful boyfriend. Now... about those Christmas decorations."

You wouldn't think that decorating your shared house with Simon would be so fun and chaotic in the same time. Your boyfriend does the lights—since his height abilities are just insane—and you are basically running around with snowmen, reindeers and other creatures that you somehow can associate with winter. Riley also gives you disapproval looks from time to time, telling you to dress yourself properly, as you're just on your pyjamas; it ends up in you being in his big, warm hoodie, since you don't listen.

It's like everything you dreamed for, in domestic matter.

The best is taking care of the tree, though. You two have different ideas—yours with doing it in two colors that compliment each other, red and gold for example, which would give the glamour vibe of the house. Or, Simon's idea which is complete chaos. He looks so happy with placing the ornaments, that you don't tell him about color theory, you don't suggest making it less colorful either.

You just put everything just like he is, with instinct, and when he asks about your opinion, you can't help but smile widely and praise him for being creative. His enjoyment gives you the time of your life, honestly.

"You do it like it's in your blood," you say, laughing happily when he gives your cheek a big, wet kiss. His arms locks around you automatically, his lips dropping a bit lower.

"'st because of you. My girl," he purrs. "Maybe we should take a break and eat somethin', eh? Something Christmas-y."

"Christmas-y?" you repeat, observing with a small smile stomach how he drags you over to the couch, towering over you. He has absolutely no problem with crashing you with his weight, which feels so good considering how warm he is. "What would you like?"

"Anything my woman wants, I'll eat. My civilian woman."

You can't help the sensation of your heart fluttering at this view; at Simon kissing your knuckles, at Simon being so affectionate. You are sure that you haven't seen him like this before, not this open with his feelings.

"Yours. That civilian woman, for a superordinary man," you say, quietly.

“My civilian woman.” Simon’s eyes shine as he repeats your words, a light smirk forming as he gazes down at you. You really are gorgeous, so beautiful as you're there in his arms. "'m not superordinary, but I guess I'll take it."

He reaches over to remote, turning off the light in the room. Now, all that’s illuminated is the moonlight and sparkling, multicolor Christmas lights, casting a pale ray of light in the darkness.

Before he loses himself in your eyes, he leans over and presses his mouth to yours. It’s a slow, quiet, yet passionate kiss—one that sparks a fire in both your souls.

"That sounds very dorky, if you think about it," you chuckle quietly, still keeping his gaze. His brown eyes are fixed on yours, glimmering so gently, you can't help but be lost in them. God, it's even better when he turned off the light. You don't see each other properly, but the dark figures are adding everything to your imagination, when you continue this slow kiss.

You can only hear your lips smacking against each other.

“You’re perfect to me,” he says, his voice husky as he gazes down at you. You make his heart flutter. You always do, but lately, those butterflies have turned into something else, as he told you a dew days ago. "The most perfect woman in the world. Even if it's cheesy, as you say."

"You're such a cheesy man, Riley," you whisper, as you smile at his sudden comment how you are perfect to him. Knowing that he's not the best with words, and still says something like this, was just the most important thing for you. "But I like that in you. Just as much as your soft spot for those romcoms we watch. Even if you call them sappy and cringe," you say, closing your eyes.

"They are sappy and cringe. But it's our type of sappy and cringe," he murmurs into your skin, burying his face in your neck. Right in this moment, he doesn't seem to care about anything else.

And you don't care about anything else either, when you have him right by your side. Safe and secure, far from deployment, far from all those dangerous things probably just waiting for him out there.

"I love you," he whispers.

And you know you have your gift.

[lauren-likes-to-type]

Good Luck Charm

[Arcane] Jinx x Female Reader

Summary: Jinx has been told she's a mistake and a...well, a jinx her whole life, which is why it's such a surprise when you tell her she's your good luck charm.

Word Count: 3.09k Content Warnings: A small breakdown Category: Angst + Heavy fluff || Oneshot

[A/N]: Not proofread. Just wanted a quick break in between characters again. I couldn't stop myself from writing for this dork, especially after seeing the teaser for season two.

Enjoy!

 “Alrighty, toots, I think I’m gonna head to bed. You wanna come with, or you gonna stay up a bit longer?” You turned your head over to glance at Jinx, watching as she repeatedly turned her chair partially back and forth with her eyes fixed on you. Smiling warmly, you shrugged. “Well, I’m not tired just yet, and I wanted to finish this book,” you started, watching from the corner of your eye as she seemed to slump down at your words already. “But I can just keep reading in bed.”

Jinx stood and let out a small cheer, trotting over to you and gently taking ahold of your wrist to tug you toward the bedroom you often crashed in. Ever since you had grown close to the “loose cannon” of the undercity, things in your life had rapidly changed. It started off simple – you would spend far more time hanging out with her than anyone else. Then, as things started to develop between the two of you, you began staying the night almost every night with Jinx cuddled up against you as you slept. Even when she couldn’t sleep, you could feel her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she traced random patterns against your skin.

When Jinx had told Silco of your relationship, you feared the worst, already preparing to write your will or find a way to escape his wrath. Surprisingly, though, he was rather accepting. When you asked Jinx about it in private, she told you she believed it was because he had seen how happy she had been ever since you showed up. A few days later, her theory was confirmed when Silco had called you into his office to set rules about dealing with Jinx and her issues with trust.

He warned you that Jinx could get extremely clingy and would get overprotective of you, which you had already noticed she had begun to do, so you simply nodded. He continued to speak of things such as her hallucinations and wish to keep her past a secret. You agreed to all of the terms he had set to be with his daughter, unaware of the figure stationed above you on her usual platform. Her eyes were trained solely on you, legs swinging back and forth as she let herself rest on her stomach. With her head cradled in her palms, a wide grin made its way to her lips as you calmly agreed to take care of her.

It seemed, however, that she had done the opposite, meaning she seemed to take care of you more than the other way around. More often than not, if you were outside of her hideout, it would come across more as possessive than anything. She’d blurt out insults and impulsively pick fights with people who threatened or flirted with you.

Once they realized who they were dealing with, they backed off instantly. The few poor souls who decided to test their luck suddenly went missing, as well as Jinx for a short time, and then were never seen or heard from again. You had learned to come to terms with her reckless and apathetic behavior towards outsiders rather quickly.

“Trinket? Hello? You in there, or… did ya leave this planet?” You blinked, glancing back over at the blue-haired girl as she waved her hand in your face.

“Hm? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what’s going on in my book. I’m near the end, so everything is getting chaotic.” She snickered and hooked her arm around your shoulders as she led you into the bedroom. “Ah, then you’ll have to let me borrow that book sometime. You know I love a bit of chaos. Or a lot of it.” You smiled at her and rolled your eyes, playfully bumping against her and earning another chuckle.

As she plopped down to sit in her spot on the bed, she watched you silently while you flipped your book back open and sat on the other side of the mattress. Once you had leaned back against the pillows, it didn’t take long before you felt a head land gently on your shoulder. A quick look down let you know Jinx had already bundled up under the covers and shuffled over to cuddle against you for the night. With weary eyes, she peered down at the pages of your book, briefly skimming over the short excerpt of the story she could see.

Soon after, she let out a yawn and tucked her head further against your neck. “G’night, sweets. Love you.” You beamed down at her and pressed a small kiss to the top of her head. “Love you too, hun. Sleep well.”

By the time you had finally woken back up the next day, Jinx had already been up for a few hours. She hadn’t left the bed, but she was tracing patterns and words into your arms and back. When you shifted and yawned, she smiled and perked up rather quickly, sitting up in her spot and peeking down at you. Once you had rolled over to look her in the eye, her grin only grew. “Mornin’, toots. Did you sleep well?” You nodded and sat up, yawning again.

“Yeah, what about you?” She shrugged and toyed with the hem of your sleeve. “Eh, I slept okay. I got kinda restless after a while and woke up, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

You nodded at her words. After a while of you trying to keep your eyes open, you felt Jinx lean against you and tug you close. “I don’t wanna leave to go work on those stupid experiments,” she confessed with a frown. “I just want to stay in here with you. I wish I could come down with you to your job instead.” With a small smirk, you raised a brow and glared over at her. “Oh? And why’s that?” She smirked back at you and slipped her hand down to lace your fingers with her own. “‘Cause I could keep you safe. I could beat up all the pervs that keep trying to get their nasty paws on you.”

A gentle chuckle escaped you as you pulled her further into your side. “Yeah, that’s what makes you my good luck charm. Nothing seems to go wrong for me when you’re near.” You had expected another teasing remark of some kind, though nothing came. Instead, you were greeted with silence. After a while of not receiving any kind of acknowledgment of what you had said, you looked down at Jinx. You blinked in surprise when you saw her gazing right back up at you, eyes filled with a concoction of emotions that couldn’t seem to even out.

Her brows furrowed together. One moment, she seemed confused, and the next, she seemed upset or in disbelief. Similarly to her eyes, her eyebrows couldn’t focus on which emotion to express.

“Uh, hun? You okay?”

“What’d you call me?”

“What?”

“What did you call me?”

You continued to stare at her, unsure of what you were supposed to say. “I called you ‘hun.’” She shook her head and lifted it from your shoulder to be eye level with you. “No, before that. What did you call me before that?” It took a moment for you to recall what you had said a mere moment ago. The confusion of the new situation had made it hard to wrack your memory. “‘My good luck charm?’”

She was silent for a few minutes, which felt like hours with how thick the tension had grown.

“You think I’m lucky? That I’m a lucky charm to you? Do you really think that?”

An uneasy smile and chuckle left your lips. “Well, yeah, of course I do. I mean, I always love being around you, and because of all you do for me, everything seems to go right when you’re around. You really are like a being of good luck to me.”

She seemed troubled at that, which certainly was not what you had expected. Tears welled up in her eyes and prompted them to grow glossy, though she fought them back. “But – no, I’m not lucky. I’m, I mean, my name is “Jinx” for goodness sake! I’m not good. I’m a horrible person. I mess everything up. How could you possibly believe that I’m a good luck charm? I don’t understand.” You felt your nerves spike, recognizing that she was at the beginning stages of another episode. “Woah, hey,” you whispered, placing a hand softly on her shoulder in an attempt to ground her back into reality before she could fly too far away from the present.

“No, I’m not lucky, I’m a Jinx. I’m the opposite of lucky – I’m unlucky. I didn’t – no, please, I’m not. No, shut up! She’s not trying to – stop it already!” Unintentionally, you leaned back, making sure to keep your hand in place. It seemed like Mylo had taken over again, throwing insult after insult at her and flooding her mind with false realities.

“Love, I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” She glared at you, eyes fixed on you in front of her, though she seemed to be staring so far away. Her eyes flickered as though she were reading some sort of script, incoherent mumbles rolling off her tongue. “No, you shouldn’t be… you didn’t – shut up! You shouldn’t be the one apologizing!”

You remained silent, waiting for the right time to chime in as Mylo continued to torment her. Although you had no idea what he was telling her, you could get a general idea based on the few words you could make out in her sputtering.

It took forever, but she ultimately calmed down, panting for breath and clutching handfuls of hair. When she came back to her senses, she found you holding both of her hands to prevent her from tearing her strands out again. Sometime in between her episode and her break into reality, she had begun copying your breathing the way you had helped her practice each time she had gone through it in the past. At length, she sighed and let her eyes bore down into her lap.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

Softly, you cupped her face in your hands and lifted her head up to look her in the eye. She shifted her focus away from you, unable to meet your gaze. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m not mad.” The feeling of the pads of your thumbs grazing across her cheeks to wipe her tears away brought her a feeling of relief. Her tense shoulders drooped down after she sighed once again.

Moments passed. She finally forced herself to meet your eye. “Did you really mean it?” She whispered with a broken tone. “That you think I’m lucky?” You nodded with a weak grin. Again, tears pricked her eyes, though she leaned forward and buried her face in your shoulder before they could fall. Her arms lifted from her sides, hands grasping at the back of your shirt as she sucked in multiple shaky breaths.

“I’ve always thought you were lucky.”

Weeks had passed since you had started referring to Jinx as your good luck charm, then it shifted into months, and your list of nicknames began to grow. It became a common occurrence for her to hear you call her “lucky charm,” “charmer,” or even “bluebird.” It seemed as though you were shifting to just focus on positive nicknames instead of entirely pinpointing each play on the words “good luck charm,” though she wasn’t complaining.

She certainly wasn’t used to all of the compliments and the nice names. After all, she had been referred to as a jinx, a screwup, and essentially a burden her entire life up until she met Silco. It would take a while for her to accept what you said as truth, but she had started to come around to the loving nicknames. After a while, she even began to look forward to what you would call her for the day. She had started rubbing off on you in terms of nicknames as well. “Trinket” and “sweets” began to creep into your vocabulary, and she adored the way it sounded rolling off your tongue when it was directed at her.

Soon enough, the positivity had worn down part of her insecurity, so long as she was around you. You made her feel safe and secure, which wasn’t something she was used to either. Often, she could be seen practically bouncing down the halls with a cheesy grin plastered on her face, even if she had just left Silco’s office. Silco and Sevika had definitely taken notice of her sudden shift, and although Sevika didn’t understand why she was so much livelier than normal, Silco found himself smiling more often at the sight of Jinx when she’d suddenly remember the nickname you had chosen for her for the day.

When she’d sit up top on her makeshift platform in Silco’s office, she had to be given reminders in between meetings to settle down. Her legs would swing over the edge and kick at the air rhythmically, and her hands would pat randomly at the wooden planks.

She loved the nicknames, to put it bluntly. She absolutely adored them. Since that night, not once had you referred to her as Jinx. Somehow, even though everyone else called her by her known name, the mere mention of what you were calling her for the day gave her a boost of confidence. Whenever a mission would go wrong, she’d come straight to you to talk about it, then listen with a soft smile as you told her repeatedly how things would be okay and how she’s still your lucky charm.

With how suddenly all the flurry of names were thrown at her, she struggled to pick a favorite. Even so, her energy and overall glee grew daily, even beginning to show in her work. Weapons were crafted more cautiously, produced quicker, and had more expressive markings made by her oil crayons. Sevika didn’t enjoy the increase in enthusiasm, Silco certainly appreciated everything.

He still didn’t fully trust you, though it was growing increasingly obvious to him that you weren’t a threat, and in his eyes, you were there for a reason. You made Jinx happy, and that was all he really wanted in the end. As far as he was concerned, you had his blessing. He knew things could change, but after seeing how you treated her during every emotion she expressed, he figured that was a slim possibility.

As he sat in his office one day, he sighed and ran a hand down his face. The door had closed only a moment ago, and still he could hear the tapping and swaying above him. Leaning back in his chair, he gazed up at Jinx sitting on her small platform, biting back a small smile when he saw her grinning gleefully. “Jinx,” he called out just loud enough for her to hear. She finally turned her attention to him curiously. “Hm?”

“You know you need to be quiet when I have people in here. It’s very distracting with you shuffling around up there.” Jinx chuckled nervously. “Sorry.” He finally allowed himself to smile, catching Sevika off guard from her spot on the sofa. “Why don’t you spend the rest of the day with [Y/N]? You’ve earned a break, both of you.”

Instantly, Jinx dropped from her spot above and landed on Silco’s desk. She crouched down and looked him in the eye. “Really? You’re okay with that?” He nodded. “So long as you two don’t cause any major problems,” he added. She beamed brightly at his words and her eyes lit up. “Thanks!” Within an instant, she turned on her heel and hopped off the desk, already out the door and skipping down the hall to find you.

Silco grinned softly with a small shake of his head. He leaned forward again and motioned for Sevika to shut the door as he picked up a few papers to straighten them.

When Sevika returned to her spot on the sofa, she huffed out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. She bit her tongue with what she wanted to say, but a look of warning from Silco made her waver. “What are you breathing so heavily for?” She waited, trying to rephrase her words before speaking them, but ultimately gave up.

“It’s nothing against either of you. I’ve just never seen her this energetic before, and I’ve seen her get energetic in the past.” To her relief, Silco hummed and smiled. “Yes, she’s certainly been in a better mood as of lately. It’s refreshing, in a way.”

Sevika waited momentarily, unsure of what to say. “You think that girl is the reason she’s been so cheery?” “I know she is. Her name is [Y/N]. She’s known Jinx for a couple of years now, and the two of them have grown quite close in such a short amount of time. I don’t entirely approve of that girl, but Jinx has taken a liking to her, and I’d be a fool to take that away from her.”

Even with her disliking of  the blue-haired girl, Sevika couldn’t help but grin at his words. “Yeah, it is nice to see she’s stable with someone. I was worried she’d drive someone away. [Y/N], was it? She’s patient, and that’s definitely good for someone like Jinx. To be honest, I’m glad they met.”

“Yes, I am as well. I suppose I should include a few of the names [Y/N] has been using to refer to Jinx as when speaking to her. It seems to put her in a better mood, as you’ve said, and I’ve noticed an improvement in her crafts and missions.” A chuckle slipped from Sevika before she could stop it. “Yeah, she hasn’t screwed up another task in a while.”

“Pardon?”

Sevika swallowed and cleared her throat. “Sorry, sir. It was nothing.”

All the while, as they chatted away about her improvement, Jinx trailed down the hallway and all the way to her hideout. When she saw you there, sitting comfortably by her desk in the extra chair she had pulled into the room to have you nearby while she worked, she couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her lips from ear to ear. As she grew closer, she wondered what you would refer to her as that day.

[chongoblog]

[Blocked] for Your Sanity Analysis

In light of Deltarune today, I thought I'd look back on a mashup I made when Chapter 2 dropped, that being [Blocked] For Your Sanity.

So if we don't count the backing track of BIG SHOT, this song uses 12 different audio sources. Thats roughly 1 new sample every 12 seconds (a pretty good pace. Side note: I'm gonna have to look into the mashup rates of some of my other mashups, just because I love Numbers)

Of these 12 samples, I can cite specific reasons for adding almost every single one of them! The only one I can't think of is "Mambo No. 5", which I think ended up being added because the melodic rhythm lined up well (similar to HHGregg in Mad Rat Purgatory).

So first, we can clear a lot of these in one, because this mashup is actually a direct sequel! If you didn't know, I mad a mashup with "NOWS YOUR CHANCE TO BE A" called "[Blocked] For Your Safety". And every song that was used in Safety is reused here. Those songs being "I Want You", "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems", "Wannabe", and "Macarena". All of those were chosen because all four of them were on the Billboard Year-End Top 100 List for [[1997]].

So that's 4 songs out of the way! We can eliminate a few more by looking back at previous mashups, mostly at Behindtale. "You Spin Me Right Round" and HHGregg were included as a reference to THE JAM REVOLVING (with HHGregg getting special attention due to this coming out a few months after Mad Rat Monday). Some people in the comments speculated that it was some kind of reference to Spamton's character and how it's not too dissimilar to Mad Rat's in a way, and while that wasn't the intent, it's a fascinating perspective. THIS is the kind of shit that makes me love what I do. I plant the seed that you can analyze mashups for a deeper meaning. Then you have people who see that deeper meaning, even where you didn't intend to, giving them a deeper and sometimes even more personal connection to the music. FUCK I love creating. Anyway, "The Hero!!" and "Anthropology" were added as references to Pony! and Power of a Punch from Behindtale, since the motifs from Undertale re-emerge in this theme.

And on this note I want to take a moment to say that I'm frothing at the mouth to one day make a Deltarune album. Because Toby's use of motifs gels REALLY well with my style of mashups. I'm not sure when I would do it or how I would arrange it all, but I wanna make it happen (along with all the other stuff I wanna do aaaaaaaaa)

So that leaves 3 more songs, which are meant to reflect Spamton specifically, and his feeling of being trapped. "I've Got No Strings" is the clearest puppet allegory I could find in a song (I know Master of Puppets exists, but a Master Spamton is not). "This is Gospel" is a song that functionally works really well in mashups because its chorus is mostly one long held word, so you don't have to worry about it making the lead vocals confusing. But for this one it works doubly well, since the lyrics heard are "LET ME GO". And finally, "Locked Out Of Heaven" is almost punishingly fitting for Spamton.

That's the reasoning out of the way. In terms of production notes, you can start to see a more remix-inspired style start to really rise up with this mashup. A lot of the audio tracks are cut down and have small bits repeated (most notably, Wannabe, Macarena, and I Want You). Someone in the comments pointed out that at 1:55 there are 4 songs playing over each other and it still works! The repetition is part of what makes this work so well! I start by looping "I need you, I want you", which is a very simple loop. Once you have that going for a couple loops, the listener gets it, and since the loop is like half a second, you're SPEEDRUNNING that familiarity. Then I do the same thing with "Mambo No. 5", which I put on top of the melody playing. This acts to sort of place Mambo No. 5 as part of the backing track.

You see, my theory with mashups is that when people generally listen to a song, they subconsciously divide it into its musicality and its lyrics. The musicality side of the brain is abstract and can absorb a good bit, especially if you build on it over time (with overlaying melodies and such). The lyrical side of your brain is less talented, because if you try to tell it two new sets of words at the same time, its a bit too much. The tradeoff is that it makes a of of this kind of analysis, so I guess it levels out. So how do you make it so that you can play a bunch of songs at once without the lyric side going into a fit? That's where the repetition comes in! If you can get a phrase to repeat enough, then the lyric side of your brain sorta goes "okay, yeah I got that. There's not much by new information to worry about" and it sort of moves it over to the musicality half of the brain to process. At that point it doesn't process what it's saying, but it doesn't need to. You already know. And the best part is that musicality half LOVES it when you can seamlessly put familiar stuff with other familiar stuff (it's why mashups are so fun in the first place). That way you can add lyrics bit by bit, and suddenly you have three people singing at once, but you can still make sense of it!

I'll probably share some finer technical tips for how to do that stuff in a future post, but this one's gone on for quite a bit already

[sweeter-than-teafood]

Teafood has a theory and a bit of a ramble because this concept was intriguing.

This is gonna be a bit of a long one so I’m gonna add a cut to keep it from clogging feeds.

I noticed something about the Hades bois and their coffins. Their coffins are very reminiscent of their personal aesthetics and/or personalities.

First we have Leviathan. This is his Bath Card, as I could not find a sprite of his Selfie Card. In battle, he has different coffins for each sprite. But they are mostly consistent; a black coffin that is beautiful, with decor that matches his outfit and themes of the card. Only outliers are the L cards; Victory, School Uniform, and Tortured. But they still match the vibes of the card.

Next up is Orias, our baby-faced old man! His coffin is more aesthetically representative of his vibe and personality overall. Littered with the bones and wings of angels, and covered in blood, which is representative of his constant bloodlust for angel souls to stay youthful.

Here we have Barbatos. His coffin is simple in design, but brighter compared to the other coffin owners of Hades. Covered in vines and roses, which are reflected in his aesthetic and powers. He’s also been shown to grow roses out of the coffin as a side hobby.

Next up is Foras. His coffin looks similar to Leviathans in that it is a black coffin with beautiful designs. The silver detailing is reminiscent of that of Leviathan’s shirt, which makes sense as Foras is his right-hand devil and looks up to him greatly. The details unique to him are the iridescent gems and fabric lining, which match his horns and gems that he wears on his shirt and shin armour.

Glasya seems to be the outlier here when it comes to the Hades gang and their coffins. The one thing that seems unique to him is the two very prominent horns atop the coffin. It also has two notable features that are very reminiscent of Barbs’ attire. The fluffy yellow thing, which Barbs has as a belt, and the brown leather belt strap, which you can see on Barbs’ thighs.

Including this CG here so you can see the similarities between Barb’s apparel and Glasya’s coffin decor. It was the pic that inspired this whole post lmao.

It makes me think; was Glasya’s coffin originally owned by Barbs?

Maybe Barbs gave his first coffin to Glasya once he secured his eldritch contract.

Like idk, in between Barbs having his first coffin, and Glasya’s newly formed contract, maybe the OG coffin maker died.

So Barbs may have kindly gifted his coffin to Glasya for a while. I’m thinking Glasya later takes over coffin making, because the background in his H-Scene looks very much like somewhere that a person would build coffins and prepare the dead.

It’s giving funeral parlor

He then eventually returns the favour and makes a new coffin for Barbs.

With this headcanon in mind, I’m thinking that Barbs is like the older brother figure in Hades. His sunny personality makes the reality of Hades being a military nation where the citizens are orphans a little less depressing.

Also, in a few messages from Barbs, he refers to Glasya as “Glee”, and I’m thinking that’s so sibling-coded of them

The way that the Hades nobles interact does give off sibling vibes. I wish we could get an event that explores the time from when Leviathan escaped Heaven, to how he established Hades as a nation.

In terms of order, I think it was Leviathan —> Barbatos —> Glasya —> Foras

Orias is a difficult one to place, his event had him become affiliated after Foras, but he’s known Levi from the beginning.

Another tidbit is how Barbs interacts with Foras in Foras’ likability comic.

He gives off “Older brother who will give you advice” vibes. He knows how Leviathan would react to the horn chains and gave some sound advice about it. Maybe he had horn chains of his own but decided against them after the first interaction. He’s the only one that doesn’t wear them, so that could be the reason why.

I’ve rambled a bit, but lemme know what you guys think! 😊

[tanoshiboo]

PSA:

Some of this is a bit untidy and disorganized in terms of thinking because I literally brainstormed it - You can make of it what you will, some of these things might lead to other conclusions or ideas and not exclusively Shadowsugar but may be more associated with the respective characters

VERY LONG READ AHEAD!!!

I just wanted to brainstorm about more Shadowsugar theories and the mentions of an ouroboros/two-headed snakes/general symbolism relating to the cycle of life I already cleared up that there is no cycle in Eternal Sugar's garden because the goal is to be stagnant and sloth is inherently stagnant, and there are not many things that imply a cycle - her "Eternal" refers to basically eternal stagnation and not like an eternal cycle which is what the ouroboros and the two-headed snake represents So a while back I connected them with a few things:

- Hermes and Aphrodite - Persephone and Hades - The cycle of life, life and death, the ouroboros

I wanted to look more into the Hermes and Aphrodite things, I mean I already figured that Persephone and Hades together were also associated with the cycle of life and whatnot

In Greek mythology (although this is actually Greco-egyptian), the ouroboros is also associated with Hermes, but in a different way - it's called Hermeticism which is based off of the writings of Hermes Trismegistus which is a blend of Hermes and Thoth

I already pointed out the similarities of Hermes and Shadow Milk, but I'll talk about them again anyway:

Hermes is considered the "divine trickster" and is well-known for his mischief and tricks

Hermes was a shapeshifter

Can easily shift or move between both the mortal and divine realms

Associated with animals like the ram

In some portrayals, he has a jester-like hat, too

Now he also has a few similarities with Thoth, although particularly pre-corruption:

Thoth is the god of knowledge, magic, art and wisdom

Thoth is strongly associated with the moon (particularly the cresent moon) and scrolls (in fact, I'm pretty sure he apparently invented papyrus scrolls and hieroglyphs)

Shadow Milk's hair is actually shaped like cresent moons

Basically, Hermeticism is directly associated with the ouroboros / or I'm pretty sure Hermeticism adopted the ouroboros as one of their symbols

(you can see this in the second image that displays an ouroboros)

So maybe Shadow Milk was actually more associated with Hermes than I thought in this theory. I didn't think of it much initially

Aphrodite and Hermes had a child called Hermaphroditus, which became the origin of Hermaphroditism because he was a Hermaphodite (if it wasn't obvious enough by the name)

Now, I think this is not a child that Eternal Sugar cookie and Shadow Milk supposedly had if they are Hermes and Aphrodite but another thing that represents or symbolizes a cycle/or opposing ends In Hermeticism/Alchemy, this is called a "Rebis" and is born from the sacred marriage of opposites - it represents masculine and feminine, life and death, the sun and the moon - in other words, a cycle / duality Design-wise, and in many manners, Shadow Milk and Eternal sugar are opposites and probably even more-so pre-corruption. Eternal Sugar is white and pink and Shadow Milk is blue and black which is the prime aspects of their designs (as simple as it sounds, design contributes highly to the telling of a character and your subconscious, another example is Pure Vanilla being yellow and white and Shadow Milk being blue and black, telling that they too are opposites)

Technically speaking, happiness is kind of the opposite of knowledge because it's blissful and emotional, meanwhile knowledge is more logical and reliant on reality.. Knowledge can either be incredibly destructive and painful to happiness or contribute to it much like any other opposite

Now, this is stretchy, but I also often see Eternal Sugar with sun-like or light motifs surrounding her

I mean, it could easily be a halo, though...

But another reason I feel like it could be a sun is because the pink sun/pink rays is associated with the archangel Chamuel, who was associated with love, peace and happiness and is often portrayed wearing a heart and surrounded in pink (because pink is his color) and also really often portrayed being around a cupid (stereotypically)

Shadow Milk is often associated with the moon (and particularly dark moon magic) and darkness , although funnily enough, he's really often seen with both the sun and the moon

Also the sinking sun is interesting to note.. Maybe I'm wrong and he could actually be both the sun and the moon here, especially since he's seen holding light in his gacha (and also note the dark moon magic logo, the sun and the moon)

It could actually just be representing Shadow Milk's control over dark magic and white magic (because there's also a white magic logo right there)

Maybe he's actually the rebis, at the end of the day? lolol

So this one I don't know what to make of, these things might be more related to Smilk than the latter

Although out of the sun and the moon I think Shadow Milk represents the moon the most, especially since he's around rabbits a lot which could mean other things but in Eastern Asian folklore it's because a rabbit lives on the moon and that rabbits are associated with the moon - Also his design is just really moonlike in a lot of manners and has so much moon symbolism overall

and he lives on the dark side of the moon, I think..

So what I was just theorizing is, pre-corruption, Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar had very much to do with the cycle of something relating to cookiekind, which is why they are so closely tied - Judging by what Shadow Milk told her in both the KR and EN version, I think Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar's separation (in any manner) both somehow contributed to their corruptions and the rest as well as the chaos (because obviously without a cycle there is chaos, let alone if they were one of the biggest contributors to a cycle) that cycle in which Burning Spice cookie was fighting for - I think Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar might've really been the "Purelily of the group" so to speak

So some might think that this "opposites" thing might tie more directly to Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla, but the truth is, yes you would actually be right. Considering this theory, despite having broken off from his initial opposite and contributing to the end of a cycle, Shadow Milk still winds up gravitating towards Pure Vanilla more affectionately who is too, his opposite... For there to be balance there must be a sun and a moon

I think all of this also ties with how I believed Eternal Sugar to have her connections with PV and White Lily much like Shadow Milk has his connections with PV and White lily and vice versa , Pure Vanilla and Eternal Sugar are basically Shadow Milk's opposite

White Lily cookie could, too, be Pure Vanilla's moon IN A WAY because

literally "Moonflower queen/faerie"

"One glance at the Queen bathed in bright moonlight will bewitch anyone, body and soul."

Usually reliant on colder colors , especially in her assets and backgrounds and generally herself , tends to radiate and generate moonlight rather than sunlight

She literally does get stuck in a moonstone (I'm not being serious on this one lolol)

Lilies are sometimes associated with the moon and the phases of the moon / but honestly generally just white flowers in general are associated with the moon

Her general association with silver which is directly correlated to the moon

Dark Enchantress cookie for White Lily is, in a way, kind of like the dark side of the moon but also "According to Mesopotamians and Incas, the blood moon symbolizes the death and the downfall of the king" + Blood moons are also generally associated with bad omens and evil

The first riddle in Spire of Shadows, the sun and the moon is referring to Pure Vanilla and White Lily

mon... I think two suns and two moons mean something too, but I'm too sleepy to look into this further

I also remember when @/sylvieserene made some connections between PV and ES;

I could be reading too much into it, but it's honestly interesting ...

--- Oh yes, on an unrelated note, but it's often thought that if Eros was the child of Aphrodite and Ares, this would probably imply something like Eternal Sugar was actually with Silent Salt (Because out of all of the beasts that could be Ares, it would 100% be Silent Salt) but you see...

No one actually knows who was Eros' father, it's only believed that Eros might be the child of Ares only because Aphrodite was with him primarily for a while, but the reason why Eros was thought to maybe be the child of Hermes is because he looked and behaved like Hermes more than he did of Ares ... Hermes was winged and mischievous , Hermes invented the lyre and Eros was often with a lyre, in Roman mythology, Eros was written as the child of Hermes In this case, that would be accurate because Pavlova is made of sugar, cream and berries and is also to an extent a trickster. Now I'll never be 100% sure about this theory, I think I did write about it before. The idea that Black Sapphire cookie, Candy Apple cookie, Pavlova cookie are their children will always be a teeny bit of a stretch for me but it's fun to think about. It would be mythologically accurate to some extent But also it could be likely that Pavlova is the child of no one's, because in Hesiod’s Theogony (prior to traditional/more modern Greek mythology) Eros is born out of chaos rather than family

[atinyniki]

when the love fades.

group: seventeen !

pairing: idol!minghao x gn!reader

genre: angst with a hopeful ending, kinda fluffy if you squint

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, minghao is referred to as hao sometimes, petnames, drowning (no one dies), mentions of choking and the feeling of it, kissing, crying (lots...), reader is pretty sensitive, themes related to the sea, communication + the fear that comes along with it, hugs, literally so much pain and regret, shua is mentioned once, reader loves seashells :3

authors note: um... hey. im back. its been a while </3 idk i kind of wrote this bc im trying to get my spark back so it's still kind of shit but i hope you all enjoy it anyways :))) pls lmk if i didn't use gn terms !!! i tried to make sure i did but then again i'm not quite used to it </3 this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1878

when the love fades, it’s not always noticeable.

maybe you start getting less text messages from them, or maybe you two go on fewer dates. 

maybe your contact name changes to something more generic for them, or maybe you don’t kiss as much as you used to. 

but with minghao? that’s not the case. 

it seemed to hit you like a brick, something had just changed. it wasn’t gradual, and everything just stopped at the same time. 

barely texting, kissing, going on dates, there was nothing there anymore. you found yourself living with a stranger, occasional hi’s and hello’s but nothing else. the two of you were barely able to keep a conversation anymore. 

a couple months ago, you and minghao couldn’t ever stay silent in a room. there was always something to talk about with you two, whether it was about your new office drama, or maybe just a little dream you had. 

but now, the silence was suffocating. as if it had a grip so tight on your throat that it bruised, but still let a bit of air out so you could breathe. not enough to kill you, but just enough to make you suffer. 

you feel like you’re drowning. like the water is rushing into your lungs and you can’t find your way back up to the surface. 

that is, until you feel it. the pain in your chest. but it’s not a heartbroken type of pain. 

the water fills up your lungs before you know it. you can’t breathe. you’re drowning, and you can’t swim. 

there’s something in you that wants to accept your fate, and you let yourself relax. that is, until you feel someone pulling you out of the water. 

you cough the water out of your lungs, your eyes burning from the salt. “baby? y/n, are you okay?”

slowly, your eyes adjust to your surroundings. to be honest, you can’t even remember what you were trying to do before you felt yourself sinking. 

“y-yeah—cough—i’m okay…“

“fuck, please be careful. i can’t lose you.”

in theory, it seems to be a normal thing you’d say to your lover. but small phrases like this have been so rare between the two of you recently. your heart pounds against your chest at the sudden confession. 

there’s a silence that washes over the two of you, and you try to swallow the lump in your throat as he helps you up. 

it doesn’t go away. 

it feels like that simple touch was the most you've felt from him in months, and you can’t even remember the last time minghao has said something like that to you. 

the sun is already setting, you realize. you’ve been so out of it that you haven’t really noticed the time.

you grab the bucket of seashells you left by the shore and walk back with him towards your small setup that you made earlier, following just slightly behind him. for some reason, you feel awkward being face to face with him nowadays. 

but something changes your mind. 

you rummage through the bucket to find a pretty shell. one that suits minghao, but one that’s still small enough for him to hold in one hand. you’re still not quite sure what you’re planning on doing, but you’re certain your heart has a mind of its own. 

and you trust it, fully. 

“hao?”

he stops in his tracks, turning around slowly. there’s no smile evident on his face, but he’s not sad either. you can’t quite place how he’s feeling just from his face anymore, it’s like that skill has faded as your love did. 

“are you okay?”, you don’t answer. not verbally, at least. 

you set the bucket down and take a couple steps towards him, grabbing one of his hands and placing the shell there. 

you watch as his confusion shifts to amusement. “you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it”, he jokes. 

but then you look up at him.

and his whole world shatters. 

you stand there in the dark, teary eyed and unsure if your relationship is even salvageable at this point. “i’m sorry… it was just a joke. thank you, it’s very pretty”

you reach your hands up to cup his face, leaving a bit of distance between you two in case he felt uncomfortable. it’s odd that you even think about that possibility now. you’re reminded of the times when you two were inseparable, always attached to eachother one way or another. 

that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. 

tilting your head, you lean a little closer towards him, but you’re scared. you haven’t kissed him in weeks, and you’re terrified that it’s unnatural to him now. 

what if it doesn’t feel the same?

suddenly, you change your mind. you let your hands fall slowly, and you back away from him, clearing your throat awkwardly in the process. 

“sorry, i don’t know what i was trying to do there.”, you sigh. 

but he looks at you with a foreign expression that you can’t quite place. it’s like a cross between adoration and heartbreak. 

you want to let the tears fall, to tell him how you truly feel about your relationship. but before you can, he pulls you into his chest, tilting your chin up and kissing you ever so softly. 

his featherlight touches burn into your skin. touches that are so foreign to you now, but ones that you took for granted all those months ago. you pull away from him slowly, suddenly conscious of how your tears have escaped your eyes. 

you quickly wipe them away, praying that minghao won’t question you. 

your heart is beating wildly in your chest, you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt like this. hell, you can’t remember if you’ve ever felt like this. 

“look at me.”, he whispers. slowly, you tilt your head up to face him. “i’m sorry. i don’t know what happened to us, but i want it all back.”

you sigh deeply. “i’m not sure what happened to us either. i miss you, minghao.”

there’s another long pause, but it’s not as uncomfortable as it normally is. you can tell he’s thinking, there’s something important on his mind. 

“hao, what’s wrong?”

the nickname catches him off guard, and he shoots his head up to look into your eyes once again. he inhales deeply, it seems like he can’t find the words to express his thoughts either. “do you think we can fix us? it might not be exactly what we had before but… i just really don’t want you to go.”

there’s a slight shift in the mood after his confession, you’ve never seen him so torn before. you wonder how long he’s been living with the idea that you’re going to leave eventually, because it’s far from the truth. 

“i’m not going anywhere, minghao. i was never planning on it”

you hear him sniffle once, and your heart cracks. you know what type of man minghao is, and only the worst pain could ever cause him to cry. 

“are you crying?”

no response. you’re not sure why you asked, seeming as the answer is fairly obvious by the way his head is tilted down.

he tentatively brings a hand out to your arm, almost like he’s reaching for you, but he doesn’t know where you’ll take him. “can i hug you?”

the sudden question shocks you. minghao never really had to ask for physical affection. he would always hug you, sometimes not even letting go for a long while. 

had it really been that long? it’s terrifying how much can change in such a short amount of time. 

you feel that it’s better not to respond, and you wrap your arms around his torso again, kissing his jawline once for good measure. 

he clings onto you tightly, his nails digging into your shoulders. “fuck, i’m so sorry”

you can feel his heart beating out of his chest, and it terrifies you for a moment. you’re certain now, that this is a pain minghao has never felt in his entire life. 

your suspicions are truly confirmed, though, when minghao slowly loses control in his legs, bringing you down onto the sand with him. sobs violently rack his body, and they rack you along with him. 

“i’m sorry too. i never told you about how i felt. you can’t read my mind, and i know that. plus, work has been stressful for you, and you know it. you work so hard, i don’t want you to blame yourself so much all the time. it’s not all your fault, hao, it’s okay.”

“i had to find out through… fuck— how did shua notice but i didn’t? you don’t have to stay with me anymore i promise. it’s not fair to you at a—“, you shut him up with a peck. 

“y/n—“

another one. 

“why are you—“

another one. you smile. 

he understands your intentions now, slightly smiling and leaning in for yet another kiss. he forgot how magical your kisses felt, and now he never wants to go without them. 

“there’s no one else i’d rather be with than you, hao. so if that means we have to start fresh, then so be it, but i’m not ready to let you go, okay?”

he nods lightly, a little taken aback by your words. maybe it’s time for a change in your relationship. 

“baby, look at me.”

you cup his face in your hands to have him face you, wiping the drying tears from his cheeks lovingly. 

“i love you. so much. and i know we hit a bump in the road, but we’ll get through all of it, i promise. so don’t worry too much…”

he breathes a sigh of relief, kissing your lips passionately one more time. 

“thank you… so much, y/n”, he whispers. it’s so quiet that you’re certain you would’ve missed it if you were paying attention to anything else.

a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips, your heart fluttering in your chest. there’s a different feeling in your heart, something that you haven’t felt in a very long time, but still something you didn’t realize you needed so much until now.

“let’s go home, okay? we can talk there…”, you whisper softly to him. he’s so incredibly close to you that you can almost feel your lips touching, the heat radiating off him. 

you can feel yourself blushing a little, and it makes minghao smile. he picks you up, dusting the sand off your legs and grabbing your bucket of pretty seashells. 

the two of you start walking back slowly towards your little setup on the shore, prickly small seashells poking the bottom of your feet along the way. 

you see minghao turn towards you in your peripheral, and you stop in your tracks, wondering what he could be thinking about. 

he confidently grabs your hands this time, interlacing your fingers together and gently rubbing along your knuckles with his thumb. 

there’s a smile on his face now, and a new look that you can recognize this time.

determination. 

he’s still not sure where you’ll take him, but none of that matters anymore. you’ll be okay. 

as long as you’re by his side.

<3

[meazalykov]

invisible string theory

lena oberdorf x uswnt!lyon!reader

part one - part two - part three

summary: you're with her now, but you've known of her for longer than that.

warnings: long chapter since I have to split this up into three parts, changing things that happened irl just a tiny bit for the plot of this, google translated language.

the pathway of your career was never simple, or original. 

growing up in the states, you participated in many youth programs. sacrificing a chance at a normal childhood, you took the chance to fulfill your 5-year-old self's dream. 

before you know it, you’d grow up to be the best teenager in the country– in terms of soccer. 

just before going into high-school, you were called up for the usynt for the first time. your parents wanted to see you happy, so you were sent into homeschooling. 

it wasn’t easy leaving public-school. you barely had time for your non-soccer playing friends and eventually– you seemed to forget about them. your friends and teammates on your club and national teams were your new priority. 

breaking records on the national level, it seemed like the youth team was too easy for you. 

and then 2018 came along, when you were 16 years ol–  

well, not yet. just a day before your 16th birthday, in January 2018, you were having your debut on the uswnt. 

against denmark, you were thrown into the game in the 50th minute, not long after halftime. being an attacking midfielder, you were expected to contribute to any attack or opportunity given for you. 

playing with the current world champions intimidated you. your new mentor, christen press, noticed this when your leg and foot tapped against the grass as the both of you waited to get subbed in. 

“hey! you gotta relax.” christen whispers over the crowd, her tone stricter than usual which causes your leg to stop tapping.

a goal came from mallory pugh that same second, so you were distracted for a few seconds celebrating. 

luckily, this gave you enough time to take deep breaths.. something your sports therapist recommended for situations like this. 

“i will, sorry.” you quickly spoke after, moving your tongue to press on the inside of your cheek. you didn’t notice how nervous you could’ve looked from the outside. 

“you don’t need to apologize, you’ll do great i promise!” she patted your upper back a few times before the ref blew the whistle for the subs. 

after the whistle blew in the 93rd minute, you breathed a huge sigh of relief. most of your older teammates ran to your side to congratulate your contributions to the 5-1 win. 

1 goal and one assist on your senior team debut didn’t happen to players everyday, especially to newly 16 year olds.  

a year later, after 16 more caps, happy tears ran out of your eyes when your coach, jill, called you. 

this wasn’t too long after you made your professional club debut for sky blue fc, or what is now referred to as gotham fc. jill let you know that you were going to the world cup!

now being 17 years old, you were the youngest person on the uswnt roster to play in the women's world cup ever. 

being referred to as “baby blue” by the rest of the team, due to your age and the club you play for, they all made an effort to make sure that you had the best experience for your first world cup. 

you attached yourself to christen, megan, alex and tobin when it came down to needing mentors to guide you in france– and your closest friends mallory, tierna, and rose. 

in the football world, you’re treated like an adult. something you struggled with. 

your parents, siblings, and other relatives came to france to support you on your journey– but due to the everyday training (twice a day), media days, strict meal plans, and mental stress before the tournament– you couldn’t see them at all. 

thankfully, they were able to see you along with the rest of the world during the group stages. 

against thailand, you scored a goal with three assists after you were substituted in the 60th minute. the 13-0 win gave you a rush that would last throughout the entire tournament.

you didn’t play against chile, or sweden. sitting on the bench and observing your team was enough for you though– they’ll call you whenever they need you. 

one moment throughout the tournament, there was a four day break between the group stages and the round of 16. 

adidas, the brand you chose to sign for, wanted to do a photoshoot with many internationals who signed their brand. the world cup is the only chance they’ll be able to do this collaboration– and with fifa's approval– over 20 players from different countries are there in a big conference room, ready to get their picture taken. 

standing in the red uswnt kit, you felt intimidated– unaware that you could’ve been the most intimidating. 

unfortunately for you, lindsey and you were the only americans at this photoshoot. you attached yourself to the blonde before she was pulled away by staff. this left you alone sitting on a random chair– at a random table. 

(i know giulia gwinn is signed for nike, but pretend she is signed to adidas for the plot)

“um– hey?” a girl your age– or maybe a bit older– with blonde hair stands in front of you with a confused, yet amused, expression. 

your eyebrows knit together as you respond back with a smile, “hi!” 

before the blonde could say anything, you turn your head to see a table card in the middle of the circle table. its labeled under germany so your eyes widened before you quickly stood up from your chair. 

“oh my goodness i’m sorry– i just found a random seat to sit in because i’m bored.” you talk a bit more than necessary, afraid that you did something disrespectful.

“its totally okay– i’ve been wandering around myself– i’m giulia!” she reaches her hand out, her german accent strong. 

you reach your hand out to meet hers, “i’m y/n. i’m with the us team.” 

giulia smiles, “i know– its hard to not notice the current world champs in the room.” 

you smile, your social anxiety fades as you engage in a conversation with the german footballer. 

“so when are you getting your pictures done?” giulia asks, wanting to continue the conversation with you. 

“oh i had my individuals and duo pictures with horan done earlier– i’m just waiting for the big group photo we have to take in–” you check your apple watch, “20 minutes.” 

“oh same!” giulia says, looking down at your apple watch too, seeing that it's 11:40am. 

“congratulations on getting on top of group B, i watched a little bit of the game during my lunch break yesterday!” you compliment as you cross your arms naturally. 

“thank you! it wasn’t easy.” giulia smiles.

“i feel you.” you relate. 

before you could talk to giulia more, another girl jogs up towards the two of you. 

she is wearing the same german kit as giulia, so you know she is her national teammate. she's taller than you, brunette, and you figure that she has short hair, since her hair was tied up in a small bun. 

the brunette looked very cute, but you brushed that thought aside. you have no idea what her name is and you need to put all of your focus on the world cup. 

“Da bist du ja! Ich habe dich gesucht, aber ich sehe, du hast einen neuen Freund gefunden.“ (There you are! I've been looking for you, but I see you've found a new friend.) the brunette nudges giulia’s shoulder, looking at her before looking at you with curiousity. 

“relax! this is y/n.” giulia waves her hand towards you. 

“hey.” is all you say, smiling at the cute girl. 

“hey.” she responds, smiling with the same cheeky smile you had. 

“wer ist das? sie ist süß” (who is that? she is cute) the brunette says to giulia. you didn’t understand german, but you could tell that she was asking a question through the tone of her voice.

giulia rolls her eyes before giggling, 

“this is y/n, like i told you. she plays for the united states.” giulia responds in english, which you’re grateful for. the girl looked you up and down for a few seconds before talking to giulia in german again.

over giulia’s shoulder, just 20 feet behind her, you see horan waving her hand for you to come to her. you look back at the german girls, hating to cut them off from their conversation. 

“sorry girls but i have to go. it was so nice meeting you giulia!” you quickly hug giulia, and she hugs you back tightly before you walk away. 

ten days later-- when jill called for you to warm up in the final against the netherlands, your legs felt like pencil lead that could’ve snapped in half. 

in the 75th minute, the united states were up by 2. however, the euro champions against you had a point to prove. they weren’t going to let themselves lose the world cup without a fight. 

tobin heath got injured during the semi-finals and doctors made it clear that she couldn’t play the full 90 minutes in the final, so jill made the last decision to call you up. 

every commentator on broadcasts, radio stations, and television networks were wondering why jill was putting you– a seventeen year old with no world cup experience– over people like carli lloyd who's on the bench.

you couldn’t make a single mistake on the pitch. your mind repeated that sentence back to you as you warmed up with sprints and stretches on the sidelines. 

five minutes go by and you’re on the pitch. focusing on the ball, you made beautiful passes to the forwards and midfielders around you.

when your eyes were on the ball, it was distracting from the neverending stadium around you. 

blocking out the noise of the crowd and the pressure of the moment, the 83rd minute comes along. krieger pushes the ball away from a dutch forward and launches the ball in the air towards rose lavelle, the girl who scored the second goal moments before. 

rose, being closed in by dutch defenders, passed the ball behind her to kelley o’hara. kelley saw you were free and there was open space between you and her, so she launched the ball towards you. 

this was your chance. usually, you never tried to seek personal glory. however, something changed when that ball hit your ivory colored cleat.

your feet take the ball towards the goal. veenendaal, the dutch goalkeeper, sets herself up in a ready position as she sees her defenders failing to take the ball from you. 

as you race closer to the goal, the crowd gets louder. the orange defenders close in but you dribble around them effortlessly, a skill uswnt fans love seeing from your younger self. 

an oranje defender hit your body from the left side but it was too late. your foot was angled on the left side of the ball, making the outside of your right foot clear to launch a powerful shot at the goal. 

veenendaal dived a second too late, the ball hit the lower corner of the net, going in for the third goal of the world cup final. 

you didn’t take a moment to process your thoughts before you lifted yourself off of the grass and sprinted towards the corner of the pitch, the same corner raphinoe celebrated the first goal at an hour before. 

your hands were spread out wide as tears threatened to pour out of your eyes in joy. the look of happiness that you’ve never felt until now. 

“Y/N L/N THE YOUNGEST GOALSCORER IN A WORLD CUP FINAL!!” commentators screamed on television broadcasts as your teammates, both on and off of the pitch, ran to you and squeezed your adrenaline filled body. 

one month later, you’re back home in new york city. the rush of winning the world cup is still fresh– along with your popularity in the community skyrocketing due to your amazing world cup campaign. 

you missed france already-- a little too much. the bond you’ve had with your uswnt teammates there was indescribable. 

the world cup distracted you from your unfortunate situation at gotham fc too. 

you’re an amazing player and the world cup showed the world that, but your coach at gotham seemed to have an agenda against you. 

at first, you didn’t think so. you arrived at gotham six months ago and started for the first few games in the NWSL season, but it seems like the coach forgot about you after. 

the defensive style of the squad is something you didn’t prefer as well. your play style fit well with an attacking style of play, but your coach didn’t want that. 

after being benched for the big game against san diego wave, you had enough. 

your agent and yourself filled a request in to transfer clubs or go on loan. 

luckily for you, many clubs all over the world wanted the best U17 player. 

when lyon came knocking on your door, you were happy to accept a year long loan deal. 

at first, moving across the atlantic scared you. your older sister, whos much older than you, agreed to live with you until you’re eighteen that january, but you’ll be far away. 

however, lyon is the best club in the world. you would never say no simply because you were “a little uncomfortable” with the move. oh well, football comes with uncomfortable events.  

the uncomfortable events paid off well, since you're a starter for the champions league final against wolfsburg.

twenty minutes in, and you nearly had an opportunity to have the first goal of the final.

the ball was at lucy bronze's feet. you were free to accept her pass and did so. before you could pass the ball up to sommer-- Alex popp knocked you from behind and you were on the grass.

you were okay, and you got up fine afterwards. in fact-- you felt like that knock helped your nerves from playing your first champion's league final at the age of 18.

minutes later, sakina had the ball which prompted you to push forward. ingrid engen from wolfsburg kept her eyes on you, since she knows how fast and precise you were with the ball.

sakina tried to pass the ball up to kumagai, but pernille harder takes the ball. luckily, you were able to side tackle the ball from her. she fell, but you were at the ball so no yellow card was needed.

the noise around you were coaches yelling and players shouting at others in many languages. french, german, swedish, dutch, you name it.

its 2020, and there was no crowd due to covid. the empty chairs made it easy for your voice to echo.

you were close to being fluent in french after living in lyon for the last year, and having sakina and selma as your closest friends, so you opted to yell out to your teammates in that language instead of english--where the whole pitch might understand you.

renard had the ball with no wolfsburg player coming at her, so she took her time deciding on who to pass the ball to.

her pass to buchanan was clean, but svenja huth takes the ball from lucy as she runs to the middle.

svenja tries to pass the ball but it goes back to the defender in navy blue, renard.

the tall defender launches the ball at you running towards the right side. cascarino and you swap places as your feet quickly get inside of the box with the ball.

your left foot shoots the ball but the ball hits off of repohl-- wolfsburg's goalkeeper's, foot. the ball bounces towards le sommer, who shot the ball into the goal at the 25th minute.

le sommer high-fived you and hugged you as you both ran back into your positions. all season at lyon, you've had the highest number of assist-- and the third highest amount of goals.

the french club hopes to buy you from gotham, if there is no issue. your contract does say that there is no buy option involved, but they hope to try.

in the 44th minute, everyone was struggling to get their feet onto the ball. you were standing directly in the middle outside of the box when the ball was bounced back to you.

your left foot, your non-dominant one, launches the ball into the goal at a lightening speed. ingrid and alex popp didn't have the chance to stop you before your teammates screamed in celebration.

"when it fell-- it fell kindly for the american international who scores the second goal for lyon." a commentator speaks to the television audience as you ran to hug majri.

before the end of halftime, as you're ready to head back out onto the pitch, you frowned in realization.

after this fun season, you'll head back to the united states with a coach who wants nothing to do with you. you tried to stay optimistic and think about everything after the final is over, but the end of the season is in 45 minutes plus extra time.

"y/n bébé, garde la tête haute, tu as déjà marqué" (y/n baby, keep your head up, you've already scored) cascarino says as she places her hands on your shoulders. you relax into her hands as your head turns to face her stressed facial expression.

"ce n'est pas ça, je ne veux juste pas te quitter après ça" (that's not it, i just don't want to leave you after this) you whisper. your head leans back onto cascarino's head as she sighs.

"garde espoir, Lyon est content de t'avoir ici. Peut-être trouveront-ils un arrangement avec ton club d'origine" (keep hope, Lyon is happy to have you here. Maybe they will find an arrangement with your original club) cascarino whispers before you both jog out to the pitch.

"maybe.." you whisper to yourself after cascarino jogs away from you.

nothing much happened after halftime started, until alex popp scores a header. you weren't too afraid, since lyon are still up by one, but it's anyones game with thirty minutes left.

subs were made in the sixty-first minute for wolfsburg, so you stand beside cascarino to talk to her. as you look ahead at ewa leaving the pitch, you spot a familiar face entering.

the girl with a determined look jog onto the pitch, and you continue to look at her as she scans around the field. your mind itches, you know you've seen this girl somewhere before.

as she turns around with her back from you, you see 5 oberdorf.

again, you have no idea on who she is. you haven't played against wolfsburg until now, so maybe you played against her national team before? you had no idea.

wolfsburg had more possession this time around. you made a few tackles and won a few duals, but the german club was hungry to score an equalizer.

lucy got the ball away from pernille and passed the ball up to you.

you ran with the ball up the field. you dribbled around ingrid and alex popp effortlessly and your next move was to pass up to le sommer who was free.

all you heard was sakina yell "derrière toi!" (behind you) before you saw someone's leg coming from under you. your first reaction was to jump as the persons leg tripped you onto the grass.

your arms stopped your head from hitting the ground, but you turned to see that it was "oberdorf" who side tackled you.

"that should've been a yellow." you groaned to yourself as you stood up and wiped the grass stains off of your navy blue shorts.

"it was all ball, so no." oberdorf said back. your head quickly turned to her as she smirked at you.

so she's german.. hm. you thought as you recongized the accent.

a few minutes later, as lucy was preparing to throw the ball in-- oberdorf marked you as she stood beside you, not giving you a chance to escape her defense.

"get off of me!" you quietly said when she tried to hold your arm.

"lena, mark her!" ingrid yelled out as you quickly moved back to where lucy might throw.

you were sweaty at this point, but not too tired. a goal before halftime was what you needed to recharge your motivation and energy.

"you aren't getting another goal passed me." oberdorf says quickly. you shake your head as you look at her. the audacity.

"who are you talking to?" you snap.

"you." she smirked.

"well, oberdorf-- if you look at the scoreboard, you guys need another goal to equal us." you say as you both push back with bouhaddi, lyon's goalkeeper, was ready to hit the ball up the pitch.

"my name is lena." she scoffs as you went to saying her last name instead of her first.

"well, lena. its nice to meet you." you look ahead to see bouhaddi's kick.

the ball goes up to cascarino who heads the ball over to kumagai. you ran closer to offer help away from popp, but lena is chasing you.

the japanese decided to kick it back to renard so you move back to your natural spot. oberdorf follows you since she is assigned to mark you.

"what do you mean its nice to meet me? you met me last year." the german comments.

your mind seems to ease at this, you know that you've met her somewhere, and its fortunate that lena knows.

after a few minutes, you couldn't respond to her since the game is heating up. lucy cleared the ball out a few times, which caused a bunch of throw ins to occur.

fridolina almost scored after kicking from outside of the box, but the ball came straight to you. your body turned quickly, so her shot deflected off of your back and away from a chance of goal.

"where did we meet?" you ask as you end up near her again, waiting to defend the ball away from a free kick for wolfsburg by their goal.

"the adidas photoshoot during the world cup." she quietly says.

your conversations were quiet, since the empty stadium could echo your voice loudly if you were loudly talking.

the free kick was cleared by renard, but being on wolfsburg side of the pitch made you concerned. if lyon kept this up, wolfsburg might equalize.

luckily, in the 87th minute, lyon had a corner kick.

the kick was taken and it landed at your foot. you shot the ball towards the left side of the goal but it deflected off of janssen's foot.

the deflected landed on the back foot of gunnarsdottir and landed in the goal for the third goal of the final.

the group hug was filled with shouts that echoed throughout the stadium. after hugging dottir, cascarino and sakina patted your back as they jumped up and down around you.

"three goal contributions! you are insane." sakina says with her strong French accent, you smile as the end of the game is nearing. wolfsburg will have to pull of a miracle to beat lyon now.

in the last minute of extra time, oberdorf had you marked again. remembering what she said earlier, you smirked as you looked at her tense body position.

"I might've not scored against you, but I did get another assist." you say.

lena looked towards you with a straight face before responding, "ha ha" sarcastically.

when the whistle blows, you run to selma bacha who was on the line ready to be subbed in. she held you tightly as you repeatedly yelled, "we did it! we did it!"

after ellie carpenter hugged you for your one goal and two assists, you saw lena pulling pernille into a quick side hug.

saying that you didn't look at lena differently than all of the other girls would've been a lie. you found her attractive, and you know she knows she's attractive. that smirk wasn't fooling anyone.

"hey, great game lena." you said as you quickly hugged her. playing all 90 minutes made you tired, but you were okay since you're a champion's league winner.

she hugged you back. not to be weird, but you liked the way she smelled.

"thank you. can I have your shirt later?" she asks. you smirk at the idea of her wanting to swap jerseys with you.

"sure, as long as I can have yours." your eyebrows knitted together as you put your hands on her shoulders. lena smiled through her sad eyes and nodded her head at you.

part two here

<3

[a-bottle-of-tyelenol]

I love reading Eurylochus analysis but I don’t see people mentioning the beginning of Puppeteer all that often.

Eurylochus starts that song by immediately trying to tell Odysseus about what he did. Immediately. I know we like to characterize Eurylochus as cowardly (mostly because that’s how Jorge describes him and how he’s described in the Odyssey), but I think it says a lot that Eurylochus didn’t try to hide or pretend as if this hadn’t been his fault. He didn’t wait for Odysseus to confront him about it or try to avoid taking responsibility. It’s rather brave imo that he tried to say something and only didn’t because his captain ordered him not to.

I think a lot about the timeline of EPIC and how entering the lair of Scylla likely wasn’t that long after Puppeteer. Odysseus says they’ve been away from home for “about twelve years or so” and then there’s the obvious discrepancy of Odysseus telling Circe the same thing— explained away by it being a simple mistake on Jorge’s end. If we go by the likelihood that it hadn’t yet been twelve years when they met Circe and that Ody was lying, there’s a rough two-ish year period before Eurylochus actually tells the truth.

To some, this might be indicative of his cowardice, a show that he wouldn’t actually tell the truth and would prefer to hide away his greatest mistake for as long as he can manage.

I disagree. I think this could indicate a couple other things, though; namely that this is proof Eurylochus changed his perspective and decided to listen to Odysseus. Mutiny could only happen because Eurylochus realized his mistake in not believing Odysseus not just once, with the windbag, but twice when Odysseus went to save their men on Circe’s island. Three strikes, you’re out and Eurylochus is not that kind of man— side note: it isn’t hypocritical to change your viewpoint and then criticize someone for adopting your old one btw, it’s just how people function.

Different Beast does imply this a bit, but I think the fact that Eurylochus waited so long to tell Odysseus about the windbag is much more blatant. After all, Odysseus told him to wait, and he did. To me, it seems like Eurylochus read between the lines of Ody’s order (go make sure the island is secure, there’s only so much left we can endure) and took it to mean “wait to tell me when things have settled and we aren’t on the brink of dying”.

Which leads to the second implication, why did Eurylochus choose this moment? Obviously, he didn’t know the nature of Scylla or the danger that they were in, but what about this moment in particular left Eurylochus feeling secure enough to tell Odysseus? Well, the obvious answer is the ruthlessness Odysseus showed in Different Beast showing that they’ve reached that point of power and being able to defend themselves even from monsters that have slain so many sailors.

But another option could be the idea that Scylla was their “last stop” before going home. It’s a bit unclear if this remains true in EPIC, but in the Odyssey, Scylla and Charybdis are right next to each other and the trick is that you have to pick your poison— do you want to die to the whirlpool monster or the six-headed one? What is clear in EPIC is that Ithaca is just past Charybdis, meaning that Scylla, in theory, could’ve been their final stop before reaching Ithaca had Mutiny not happened. There is a very real possibility that they might not have gone to the first island they found if Odysseus hadn’t been knocked unconscious. They still might have just because they were hungry, but it can be difficult to tell which is fate and which is the result of man’s actions.

Either way, I think that a lot of people tend to gloss over the fact that it’s very apparent Eurylochus was going to tell Odysseus what happened as soon as he could and only didn’t because Odysseus told him to wait. It’s a very interesting aspect of his character to me and I think it reveals a lot in terms of his character motivations and how it contrasts to Odysseus’ perception of him throughout the show.

[mourningsbane]

regarding the newest comic post, a lot of ppl are saying honeyspring would never harm a kit and that her "gift" isn't meant to be malicious. but, i mean, if it IS mourningsbane, she might be giving it to sweetkit in hopes she will eat it, pass away, and thus be able to join her in her weird limbo afterlife so she doesn't have to be alone anymore. that's a recurring theme that seems to be honeyspring's biggest issue: she doesnt want to be alone.

yes sweetkit talks to her now, but there is still the disconnect that sweetkit is alive and honeyspring is not. honeyspring also cant communicate easily anymore; nowhere near the way that sweetkit and other living cats can. honeyspring is limited in terms of communication with most of it seeming to rely on symbolism or physically visible things.

sweetkit has other clanmates to interact with and a life she has to live filled with responsibilities, events, etc. as she grows up in the clan. she can't give honeyspring her undivided attention and whenever she is away living her own life, honeyspring is left alone, waiting and hoping that sweetkit will come back (which is never a 100% certain thing.)

on the topic of sweetkit growing up, that's the thing: she's going to grow up. while kits may be less judgmental and indifferent to honeyspring's appearance, as sweetkit gets older, she may get more perturbed by honeysprings appearance and/or discover honeyspring's story and make the connection that shes been talking to a dead cat all this time. that being said, she might not want to even be around honeyspring anymore and might even fear her. if she fears her or doesnt want to see her anymore, honeyspring will have lost their only friend, rendering them completely and utterly alone (which, again, seems to be her biggest source of distress.)

on top of this, honeyspring lost her kits (whether u take that to mean they died or they became... Not Kits) so if sweetkit joins them, they can finally be the mother/parent they were meant to be but was denied so cruely. in this case, sweetkit won't get older. she will remain a kit forever, so honeyspring can be a mother/parent to sweetkit and cherish the joys of mother/parenthood forever, making her miserable afterlife a lot more bearable.

dont get me wrong! i adore honeyspring and hold her very dear to my heart (is it weird to say shes a bit of a comfort character to me at this point...?) but they're in a very heartbreaking, complex, and unstable state of being right now and who knows how in control of her emotions, actions, and thought processes she is.

cats make mistakes (obviously 💀) and dont always think abt/realize the big picture or the consequences of their actions all the time. and honestly, it's understandable for honeyspring to be acting "selfish" abt sweetkit; honeyspring did nothing wrong in life (as far as i know) and had all of what was meant to be a love-filled, family-oriented future stripped away from them in a gruesome and downright horrific way caused by such a simple mistake no less. why cant they have this one semblance of control over their existence now that their future is gone.

it wouldnt be the first time a cat gave their clanmate mourningsbane after all.

(sorry if a lot of this doesn't make sense or is confusing! i have a lot of trouble putting my thoughts into words...)

-warriorwhiskers (warrior cat sideblog)

Oh, this is a VERY interesting theory! I like the way your brain works! <3

I cannot say for sure how accurate this theory is due to potential spoilers, BUT I think you have a very valid read on Honeyspring's personality!

If it helps, know that Honeyspring has always been resourceful! LutumClan has no official nursery? That's fine, Honeyspring will make one! Does the clan need more prey for the fresh-kill pile? Worry not, Honeyspring's on the case!

Can't enter paradise? That's okay, Honeyspring will make her own.

[scalefeathers]

Thinking once again about how Nobuo Uematsu and Masayoshi Soken are both completely amazing composers but in completely opposite directions let me explain

Disclaimer I am not a music theorist; most of music theory is black fucking magic to me. I barely know what a chord is and the circle of fifths makes me quake as though before an Elder God. I just really like both of their works and sometimes I have thoughts about things. Also this is all just my opinion, it's fine if you don't agree, etc.

So: Uematsu is first and foremost, in my opinion, an absolute master of melody. I believe it's what makes his work so iconic and makes so many of his pieces so instantly recognizable. The Final Fantasy theme, the chocobo theme, Dancing Mad, Vamo'alla Flamenco, fucking One-Winged Angel--Just from seeing those names, you've probably got one playing in your head already. You could start humming it right now. Maybe you are already.

And it makes perfect sense when you consider the era he was working in, because back in the 8-bit and 16-bit era, the melody was all you had. When you have such a tiny amount of storage space to work with, you can really play only one, maybe two notes at a time. You can't do anything that's layered, because you only have one layer to work with. I think that's why so much video game music from that era is so memorable and iconic. It's not just because you played so much Street Fighter II when you were a kid that the music is indelibly seared into your brain (though that probably doesn't hurt); it's also because Yoko Shimomura wrote really solid melodies that had nothing else competing for your aural attention (apart from the in-game sound effects, which are probably also seared into your memory). (Yoko Shimomura, btw, also composed the music for Final Fantasy XV, the entire Kingdom Hearts series, and like 50 other games over the past 40 years, another fucking icon).

But back to Uematsu: like I said, melodic genius. Even when his work is upscaled into full orchestral arrangements, that core melody is always front and center. And his affinity for melody makes even more sense when you consider that before he got into video game composing, he was writing commercial jingles. (Younger folks may not be aware, but there was a time when practically every product had to have its own theme song, and the best ones were short, snappy, and instantly memorable--and for that, again, you need a strong, simple melody. Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it.)

Compare: Soken. Soken only started at Square 12 years after Uematsu, which isn't that long in human terms (to me at least, cos I'm old), but it is a long fuckin' time in video game years. By the time he started composing for games, there was so much more you could do with game music in terms of layering, complexity, and sound, and you can tell from his work that he takes full advantage of that. His work is complex and dense, a rich layer cake of themes and motifs, all beautifully merging and weaving together, often to extraordinary effect.

And again, if you look at his pre-music career, it makes a lot of sense that he'd have that approach to music, because he first got into the games industry as a sound designer; I believe that he is the sound director for all the FFXIV expansions, as well as being the composer. So of course he'd be very aware of not just how a sound (or piece of music) works on its own, but of how it fits into the greater whole, and of how to layer and balance lots of different sounds to create something greater than the sum of its parts. And of course it makes sense that he'd bring that approach to his compositions as well.

As a consequence of this approach, though, his music often lacks the memorable melodies that characterize Uematsu's work. Like, I ground (grinded?) Dun Scaith a lot the last time it was on the Mogstone rotation, I know all the boss themes extremely well and can recognize each of them instantly. But if you asked me right now to hum one? I don't think I could. (This isn't a deficiency, to be clear; music doesn't need a prominent core melody in order to be good.)

And that's also not to say that all his music lacks iconic melodies. His vocal tracks, pretty much by definition, have to put a single melody front and center; and then on top of that (or rather, behind it), you have all that trademark Soken richness and depth. Which is probably also why his vocal tracks go so fucking hard.

I think that's also why, out of all the expansions, I like Heavensward's music the best. Most of Heavensward's score is written by Soken, but the main theme is Uematsu's, and you may notice it's basically a tasting menu of like 5 or 6 excellent, very recognizable melodies, one right after the other. And basically every piece on the Heavensward soundtrack incorporates one or more of these melodies. So it really does give you the best of both worlds, and gives the overall score a cohesion that I don't see as much with the other expansions.

TL;DR, Uematsu and Soken are both amazing composers with very different and complimentary styles that reflect their differing backgrounds and the different eras of games in which they have worked and I just think that's neat.

[azzyfauv]

Kpdh Theories - Huntrix weapons

ok so after watching it the first time one of the biggest questions in kpdh is where huntrix gets their weapons from. At first glance they seem to just kinda appear out of nothing espcially in the more slower scenes like after Rumi is sabotaged on stage by the demon clones of Mira and Zoey, they dont show the transformation of the weapons-- instead it's offscreen.

Seemingly appearing out of thin air or conveintely placed out of frame in Mira's hands in this specfic example.

but when pay closer attention to the earlier scenes when Rumi meets up with Jinu for the first time you can clearly see the "strings" (thats what im gonna call em at least) of the honmoon being manipulated and manifesting into her sword.

obviously we have no real confirmation that this is the honmoon or part of it but theres a few reasons it likely points towards it. one being the design of the manifestion itself reflecting closely to the overall design of the honmoon.

the strings/netting

colour of the honmoon

like i think this much makes it clear how its related and whilst its a simple straightforward answer i think the questions revolved around their weapons is more so regarding the mechanics of the honmoon and their links as the chosen hunters/trio.

My assumption for the mechanics is based on more so general anime mechanics/dc/marvel ones were it's either;

placed into an interdimensional space/pocket realm/dimension in which huntrix utilises the honmoon as a gate way to pull their weapons out of OR

huntrix can somehow utilise the power of the honmoon to create physical manifestations of their weapons (aka the weapons r just the honmoon)

I feel like either of these are pretty standard however in terms of theory 2 the mechanics on HOW the power of the honmoon can be used to create physical manifestations of weapons feels a bit like a reach since the honmoon isnt a literal physical barrier even tho it acts as one seperating the human and demon dimensions.

Theory 1 feels like it should be right but then again theres the whole assumption of a 3rd dimension/space which i kinda hate in any sort fictional world just because it can get confusing and convoluted from there on out with creators of these worlds BUT THATS JUST A MATTER OF MY OWN OPINION </3 (+ other reasons that i feel a less irrelevent)

I also wanna point out how many noticed how the huntrix girls had Norigae respectively matching their characters

and this might be a HEAVY reach but

LIKE ???? do yall see what i mean rn??? SURELY THAT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE (if it is then imma just appreciate it)

ANYWAYS thats it for now.... lmk what yall think I'd love to talk abt this moreee