#bisexual lighting strikes again

[mrssimply]

Neon Bible

A vial of hope and a vial of pain In the light they both looked the same.

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

[scoutswritingcorner]

Hello, i have noticed the lack of love for my girls, Charlie and Vaggie, could you do a Charlie x Reader x Vaggie? OT3?

Love Triangle? No, Love Circle.

Chaggie x GN!Reader

A/N: Before anyone jumps down my esophagus to yell at me about the character’s sexuality. I know Vaggie’s canonically a lesbian and Charlie is bisexual, I know. Don’t send hate or anything cause I will delete that shit, I don’t have time for it. Alright with that out of the way. LET'S JUMP IN!! I also made headcanons- If you want a fic I will definitely write one, I just kinda dumped my brain on this.

TW: A little nsfw at the end I’m sorry (not really I need more)

-🎀 First off let me say, these girls love you in every way imaginable but they show it in different ways. Charlie shows it by hugs and kisses between work to constantly profess her love to you and Vaggie so all of hell could listen. Vaggie shows her love in more simple acts like getting you food or dragging you away from work if she sees you working too hard. 

-👑 Both women are very very protective of you as well, now that’s not say they won’t go overboard if you get caught in the line of fire from the random villain of the day. Both have different ways of trying to get you out of trouble but will immediately come to your defense if they dare try to lay a hand on you. Charlie tries to get the situation to settle down while Vaggie locates every exit there to get you out as fast as she can if it goes south.

-🎀 Don’t get me started on if you surprise them both with a date, day off or just a simple random kiss. Both of them get extremely flustered when this happens, it’s amazing to see it happen. Don’t worry though both ladies will get you back in some fashion just keep an eye out.

Going off of the kiss idea? You gotta know when to strike to really catch one or both off guard. Charlie is by far the easiest to catch off guard, she’s just so busy and her mind is everywhere all at once it gets too much sometimes so you walking up to her and bringing her into a gentle but sweet kiss gets all the stress out. Of course she’s gonna let out a soft squeak and get all blushy but she almost always melts into the kiss immediately. This is just a headcanon of mine but she definitely stims by tapping her hooves on the ground to show how happy or excited she is. (GIVE ME MORE GOAT LIKE CHARLIE CONTENT PLEASE)

Vaggie is somewhat harder to surprise, she’s trained to immediately notice when someone is trying to sneak up on her or when something is out of place. She can’t help it and sometimes she wishes she didn’t really have to be this extra vigilant, but to really surprise her and get her flustered. Don’t be sneaky at all cause once again she will immediately and unapologetically point it out. So your best bet? Just walk up to her and kiss her cheek or on her lips. She won’t see it coming at all, she’ll get all red in the face and flustered beyond belief that her wings might just pop out.

-👑 Now if you work at the hotel with them Charlie will most likely try to help lighten your workload (please tell her your okay, baby stresses enough as is). Vaggie will help in some way or form whilst making sure Charlie isn’t overworking herself. Oh you need more paper? Don’t worry she’s running to get more. Something or someone is getting on your nerves? She’s pulling you away to do something else or she’s scaring the other person away.

-🎀 If you don’t work at the hotel and you keep coming back stressed as ever? Don’t worry your pretty little head, they will pamper you all night and the next morning? Your boss is suddenly giving you a pay raise AND the next four weeks off. 

-👑 If you are an early bird that tends to wake up at or a little after the crack of dawn? Good luck getting out of bed. Charlie is a cuddler and will not let you out so easily, Vaggie in my mind is a light sleeper so she wakes up to give you a gentle kiss before immediately falling back asleep head on Charlie’s chest. Double the points if you cook them breakfast when they wake up, you won’t escape their barrage of kisses.

-🎀 They both will allow you to steal some of their clothes and will steal your clothes in return. It’s a win-win situation. 

Charlie is canonically tall, like 6 foot something now- if you're taller than her she is wearing any hoodies or sweatpants of yours there is no discussion here. It will happen. But if you are shorter than her which is most likely she will happily let you and Vaggie steal her sweatshirts/hoodie/jackets.

Vaggie on the other hand is short like 5’5 (me too girl wtf-) or 5’7 so if you're taller than her? She’s stealing your clothes too but she’s much sneakier than Charlie. But if you're shorter or the same height as her she’ll allow you to steal her clothes as well but please don’t keep them for a week straight. She has a routine of doing all three of your guys' laundry and she doesn’t want to miss cleaning certain clothes you and Charlie steal.

-👑omg let me tell you- these girls love to pamper the shit out of you but if you return it? They will fall more in love with you. Massaging Vaggie’s back after a rough day or maybe helping her preen her wings. Washing Charlie’s hair or maybe rubbing where her horns are at as she lays between your legs and rants about whatever had her upset that day or if we are going down the path where Charlie has more goat like features (pls someone- I want to talk about this) just helping trimming her hooves. Girl needs to be extra pampered with her lovers after the shit she has to put up with day to day.

A little nsfw that’s popping in my mind- MINORS GO AWAY

-🎀OH BOY- Wearing something that fits your curves just right or something that’s a little showy gets both of them flustered and ready to drag you somewhere else. Charlie (bless her soul) tries to respectfully look away but you can catch how her gaze keeps drifting back to you and Vaggie? She’s looking respectfully and she’s not hiding it either.

-👑 Tease them all day long and they will not allow you to walk in the morning or the next few days. So…use caution when teasing The Princess of Hell and an ex-exorcist. They love you but they won’t go easy on you.

-🎀 Overall 20/10 relationship, may have some rough patches but they love you and will 100% talk everything out.

[moonlightspencie]

‘cause look at your face!

Request linked here!

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader (implied bisexual rights)

Warnings: implied cheating, drinking, smoking, very minor sexy references

Word Count: 1.6k

There he was.

The famed Dean Winchester.

Well, fame by hunter standards, anyways. Regardless, the guy had saved the world multiple times, and happened to be even more beautiful that anyone could capture with words.

Unfortunately for me, I had to pull my gaze away when he caught me staring. Though not before he shot me a smirk at my being caught out.

I looked towards the bartender, asking for another fifth of whiskey in my glass. She obliged with a smile and a wink. At least I could still keep my cool with her, cause I certainly was loosing it after seeing him.

It worsened significantly when he sat in the seat next to me.

I panicked, the fact that he smelled good on top of being a smoke-show was too much to handle. I decided to strike up conversation with the bartender again.

“How’d you end up in a place like this?” I asked, raising a brow.

She leaned in. “I could ask you the same. You’re a little too pretty to put up with all the folks in here considering you’re not getting paid.”

I chuckled. “Good point. Maybe you could help me get a job. If I’m gonna be here as much as I am, I may as well get some cash for it.”

“I’ll help with whatever you want, sugar,” she said with a wink.

Dean cleared his throat, raising a hand. She looked at him expectantly.

“Could I just grab whatever beer you’d recommend?” he asked, trying a wink at her.

She nodded, giving him an unamused hum. He leaned in a little closer to me after that.

“You’re doin’ better than me,” he said with a small smile.

I nodded, then saw a familiar face behind him. I attempted to strike up conversation with practically every other person in the bar except for him. Really, he should’ve taken it as a compliment. If he wasn’t so unbelievably hot, it would’ve been much easier to talk to him.

After a while, he seemed to have lost interest in talking to me anyways. Especially when I spent half an hour straight chatting it up with some grumpy old hunter who really had an affinity for non-haunted vintage items, and really loved to talk about it.

The second that conversation was over, I decided on a new course of action. I needed to forget about a certain cheating boyfriend for the night anyways. A smoke outside felt like it’d do just the trick.

I leaned against the building in the cool night air, pulling out my pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. I was a few puffs in when the door opened a few feet over, footsteps getting nearer.

“You know, smoking’s bad for you,” I heard a rumbling voice next to me say.

I glanced up and over, a light smile on my face.

“So is drinking. Didn’t stop you, huh?”

He smirked, nodding lightly. I held up the pack, resigned to the fact that I could no longer escape this male-modeling son of a bitch and his perfect face.

“Want one?”

He sighed. “I almost never do, but since you offered…”

He took one out, popping it in his mouth. I flicked my lighter, holding it up to the end of the cigarette until he puffed out a little cloud of smoke. I watched him for a moment, enthralled with how someone could look so pretty smoking. He glanced back at me after a few seconds.

“What?” he asked, voice suddenly lighter.

I shrugged, looking away. “Guess I’m a little surprised to meet you. I’ve heard stories, but never expected to bump into you or your brother.”

He chuckled humorlessly.

“Stories?”

“Mhm,” I nodded. “You can’t be surprised. Words gotten around in a lot of hunting communities about all y’all have done.”

He sighed, staying quiet. I chanced a look at him again to see him staring off into the parking lot.

“Did I strike a nerve?” I asked.

He shook his head, looking back at me with a partial smile.

“No, don’t worry about it. Just— Guess I don’t think much of it all.”

“Much of what? Saving the world?”

He puffed on the cigarette again, merely smirking at me as I found myself watching his lips as he did so.

“Seems you’re thinking something,” he said.

I looked away suddenly, bringing my own cigarette back my lips. I took a moment to collect myself.

“Not a damn thing,” I said at last, turning towards him. “Why don’t you get out of here. I’m sure your girlfriend’s looking for you.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Ah,” I nodded.

I almost wished he did. Out-of-bounds would be much easier to deal with than temptingly-single. Especially when I still (technically) had someone.

“What about you? Any boyfriend that’d be mad I’m out here with you?”

I shrugged. “He went out to some club tonight to do… I don’t even know what. I don’t think I want to know.”

I laughed at myself, a little bitterly. He simply stared with his brow set.

“Excuse me?”

I cleared my throat, dropping the butt of the now-gone cig into the ashtray atop the garbage can.

“He goes out a lot. Doesn’t usually come home until the next morning,” I said, letting out a soft breath. “Or until a few days later.”

“Why do you put up with that?” he asked, voice sharper now.

I raised my brows, not expecting the reaction.

“I don’t know. Security, I guess. We’ve been together a few years now…”

“You deserve better,” he said, eyes terrible and beautiful and sincere.

I groaned. “You suck.”

He furrowed his brow, taken aback.

“What?”

I didn’t know what to say with him looking at me like that. His gaze was intent. It felt like he was looking right into my soul. Everything about him was horribly picturesque, especially in the neon lights from the sign above us.

I shook my head, “I should probably go.”

“Why?”

“Why?” I mimicked, a small smile on my face. “What’s up with the twenty questions, anyway?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Sounds like avoidance.”

“Again: you suck.”

He put out his cigarette on the ash tray, then turned back to me, hands on his hips.

“Alright, pretty girl, let’s get you back inside. It’s cold out here,” he said, looking towards the door.

I fought a smile from showing up, and fought butterflies even harder.

‘Pretty girl��. He’s one to talk about being pretty.

“What if my boyfriend shows back up?”

He raised a brow. “You’re gonna dump him anyways.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the sentence.

“Cause,” he shrugged. “Would you let me go home with you otherwise?”

I froze, my eyes widening. “I’m going home to my cats, actually.”

“Ah, I see,” he nodded, a borderline-shy smile on his face. “You can really just say no, you know?”

I hummed, giving an unsure shrug.

“I don’t really want to say ‘no’, is the problem.”

His smile morphed into a smirk again, hand brushing against my lower back to lead me back into the bar.

Rather than going back to the bar, he led me to a table in the dark. I followed along, letting him guide me with his hand still on my back.

“What are you up to?” I asked at last when we sat down.

He sat on the same side of the booth as me, an arm slung over the back of the seat. He smelled even better now that he was closer than ever.

“I’m gonna convince you to break up with him,” he stated simply.

“Why’s that? Why not just take me home?”

“Not into cheating.”

“Huh,” I nodded. “Who would’ve guessed? Dean Winchester has rules about revenge when it comes to fidelity?”

He rolled his eyes, somehow still looking sexy doing it.

“So, you just want to use me to get back at your boyfriend?”

I paused. “Actually, I don’t. That would just be an added bonus since he’d totally be pissed I moved on with someone like you.”

“Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

He brushed his hand against my shoulder, leaning in a little closer. I realized there was no use in pretending I wasn’t giving into him now.

“Someone absolutely gorgeous.”

His smirk faded a little, eyes looking into mine more now.

“You’re really too sweet to let some crap-bag walk all over you, you know?”

I watched him a moment longer, then readjusted myself in the seat. I pulled out my phone, typing out a quick message.

- we’re done. you can get your crap out of my apartment later this week :)

I hit send.

“Here, look,” I said, handing him the phone.

He read the message, nodding lightly as he did. He then turned it off, set it on the table, and had his lips on mine so fast my head was practically spinning. Those lips were softer than they looked, and finally having his hands on me felt better than I thought it would.

He rested one palm on my thigh, letting the other stay around my shoulders. His tongue tasted like lime salt and smoke. I ran one of my hands up his arm, nibbling at his bottom lip as he started pulling away. The gravity of making out with him in a crowded bar probably would’ve embarrassed me if it weren’t for the fact that he leaned in closer to whisper to me:

“Think I can meet your cats when I’m out of your room tomorrow morning?”

I smiled. “Oh, they’ll love you.”

—————

dean winchester taglist:

@deanwithscissors @hyunjaebaby @simp4olderm3n @king-of-milf-lovers @allonsy-yesiwill @xoxovienna @grapejuicestand @lyarr24

[deadboy-edwin]

I have this idea for payneland:

Both of them get hit with some kind of spell of sorts that makes them "human" for 24 hours (basically like when they were alive: people can see them, hear them, touch them, they can taste and feel things again, the works)

What do you think they'd do in that time? Maybe taste their fav foods again?

So please bear with me as this will be more of brainrot than an actual fic because I just want to yap- but in my head, it would be kinda funny if the gang was able to get Tragic Mick to turn back into a walrus. The goddess Sedna would then "punish" the boys for daring to defy her- since she had said that Mick would never return to the sea if he chose to leave.

I feel like Sedna would lowkey have a soft spot for abused children, and would also see Mick's love for the sea, and on the inside not really be that mad tbh. Hence the "punishment". She'd "curse" Edwin and Charles to be alive once more.

They don't really know if it's permanent or whatever, but can you imagine the hilarity of Edwin being so used to phasing through walls and doors, then him just walking straight into a door and smacking into it because he's solid- Crystal would have a field day ribbing him for it.

I think, them being human would make them quite unable to take on cases, since admittedly them being regular humans (not everyone can be Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft okay) makes them vulnerable to beings like demons. So they'd have some downtime. That gives Charles time to think.

Being fully corporeal also allows Crystal to hang out with them like she would with living people. It also allows Crystal to notice things about them that would not have been possible when they were ghosts- like Charles blushing when Edwin adjusts his collar so it's up. Or how the two boys are so tactile. Sure, they'd always been tactile, but why does it seem Charles is extra touchy, now that both boys can feel physical touch?

I think Edwin, bitchy little nerd that he is (and we love him for it) would have a field day with Google. He'd struggle with whatever the fuck a laptop is, and how LED screens strain his poor eyes, and probs get those anti-blue light glasses, and Charles would have a bisexual awakening because Edwin in glasses???

Charles, on the other hand. I feel like boy would want to party. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would be fun at parties, and he'd probably drag the gang to a nightclub after spending the entire day eating different kinds of food (I think he'd enjoy cookie dough ice cream- but that's just me projecting my own cravings).

At the club, Charles might be a bit sulky because Edwin had spent a lot of the day on Crystal's laptop, despite them switching restaurants so that they could try everything- and he's thankful that the laptop is not present at the club.

Unfortunately, Edwin is Edwin, and his brand of anti-rizz also works on the living. You have living people coming up to him left and right, and Charles wonders why this hasn't happened much in death.

Crystal is fast to point out that it's because ghosts are invisible to regular humans. Edwin is not a ghost at the moment, so he's not invisible. She also makes it a point to tell Charles about exactly how many people had simped for Edwin in the afterlife (Monty, the Cat King, hello????)

I think Charles would then get drunk. One, because he's been a ghost for some thirty-odd years. Dude has no fucking clue what his alcohol tolerance levels are. Two, because he gets annoyed that Edwin is getting hit on so much.

There is a third reason that comes to mind once he's fully inebriated, and it's the fact that the following thoughts aren't exactly heterosexual

Getting pouty when your best mate isn't paying attention to you while you are having a meal together

Staring and practically drooling when your best mate is wearing glasses

Getting upset when guys and girls (despite Edwin's lack of interest in the latter) keep flirting with Edwin

Wanting to feel Edwin's touch while he has all his senses at full blast

The plot twist here is that since Edwin is also alive and fully corporeal, our repressed Edwardian boy has actually been icing Charles out because as a human, he does not have the luxury of willing erections away.

I think though, because it seems like immortal beings in the DBDA universe have a sense of humor (hi, Cat King and Esther- wicked as her sense of humor is), when Charles finally makes a move and pulls Edwin away from the admittedly gorgeous guy that had been chatting him up with a "He's in love with me, and vice versa, I'm afraid" and kissing Edwin in the middle of the dance floor, is when they turn back into ghosts.

Even though they're now invisible to most humans once more, Edwin is still quick to berate Charles on the PDA- though there's a softness to his berating.

They end up discovering that as ghosts, they can still feel physical sensations if there's enough emotion involved.

That is a fortunate discovery for all parties involved, especially for our girl Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft, who walks into the office a few days after the club debacle, and sees Edwin pressing Charles up against a bookcase, snogging him with a fervor, his thigh working its way in between Charles' legs---

"Hot," Crystal comments with a smirk, causing the two boys to jump apart with matching sheepish grins on their faces. "If I'd known Edwin kissed like that, I would've gotten it on with him instead."

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Hazard to My Health (1/????)

woe, blond!eddie be upon ye

******

If Eddie has anymore identity crises that lead to him altering his appearance, Buck might actually fucking die.

The mustache was bad enough. Eddie was going through something, which Buck gets. Christopher is an easy kid to love and just as hard to lose. So when Eddie showed up to their shift one day—without so much as even the courtesy to fucking warn a guy—with a mustache that made him look like a god damned seventies porn star, Buck bit his tongue.

Literally. And so hard that he'd needed a second to check in the bathroom if he'd drawn blood.

It's not like Buck is blind. Obviously Eddie is—well there's not really any elegant way to put it, he's hot as hell. And it's not that Buck has been oblivious to this fact for the past six years of their friendship, but he has been oblivious to the fact that he's uselessly bisexual. So every time Eddie decides to switch up his look, the burden of fresh eyes falls upon Buck and an insanity that can only be described as prepubescent strikes him.

After enduring weeks of suffering, trying not to ogle his best friend, lying to Tommy when he asks what Buck thinks of Eddie's new look, and ignoring Hen and Chim's all too delighted exchanges, Eddie finally gets Chris back and shaves the damn thing off. He looks like the Eddie that Buck knows and loves again instead of a modern day Freddie Mercury hell bent on making Buck swoon like a school girl.

For a single, fleeting week, Buck thinks, naively, that he might actually be free of this torment.

In the locker room, he haphazardly shoves his civvies into his cubbie, slipping easily into his uniform with a practiced ease.

"Morning," he hears Eddie's voice behind him, gruff in the way it is when he's had a rough morning and will be finding everything extra annoying. Buck cranes his neck, flashing a sympathetic smile to Eddie as he walks behind him, reciprocating his greeting.

Just as Buck returns his gaze to his locker, the image he's just seen registers, and he whips around to face Eddie, now standing at his own locker. Buck's eyes go wide and blue as a prairie sky.

"Holy shit," he mutters.

Eddie preemptively shows Buck a palm, not even looking in his direction. "Don't. Even. Start," Eddie growls, and that elicits a reaction in Buck—heat flooding his face and curling in his stomach.

"Your hair—"

"I know."

"It's… Blond."

"I said I know," Eddie snips, finally looking at Buck full on.

His hair is light, damn near platinum, emphasizing the darkness of his eyebrows and depth of his brown eyes and Buck legitimately feels a wave of dizziness overpower him. Buck grips the edge of his locker tighter, and the metal digging into his palm is a welcome distraction from whatever the fuck else is going on in his body.

Eddie sighs and runs a hand through his freshly dyed hair, which at this point Buck thinks is just downright rude. "Long story short: don't ever let Christopher near the shampoo ever again."

Buck swallows thickly, forcing his eyes away from Eddie's hair. The nearest alternative without completely averting his gaze leaves Buck staring at Eddie's lips, which is equally if not more distracting. With a dwindling confidence in his ability to make it through this interaction unscathed, Buck realizes there isn't a single part of Eddie that doesn't insanely turn him on.

Hen and Chim are going to have a damn field day with this.

[hexidous]

Give And Take

Inspired by the Raider Joel series by @toxicanonymity - Alt version of part 7: Company

Rating: Explicit (18+ MDNI)

Summary: Joel brings back someone new, expecting to make you jealous. He’s forced to find a new way to punish you when you have too much fun.

Warnings: dead dove do not eat, non con, dub con, fingering, scissoring kind of, threesome, FFM, PIV, death.

HC: Joel’s bitch, the bisexual switch

Word count: 1.3k

-

“You’re sick,” the girl whimpers at Joel. “Shoot him!” she demands of you.  “What are you waiting for?? SHOOT HIM!” 

-

"I’ll try to make it good for you,” you say in a half whisper.

You stalk forward, gun heavy in your hand. You look at her, genuinely, for the first time. Her hair looks soft in the dim lighting, her eyes wide with fear. As you reach the dingy cot she kicks at you, screaming, “Get away from me!”

A surge of anger rushes through you. “And here I was going to be nice,” you hiss, subconsciously channeling Joel. You grab her ankle while pointing the gun at her head, slowly moving your fingers up her inner thigh.

“Damn, baby,” you hear him chuckle from behind you.

His words give you confidence. The power you have over her, that he’s given you, sets off a pulse between your thighs.

Well this is unexpected, you think as you feel the familiar dull throb in your pussy. You’re surprised at how turned on you are at the sick scenario unfolding before you.

Keeping your gaze locked on her teary eyes, you strike a quick back hand across her cheek. You climb over her, pressing the heavy, cold barrel against her temple and bring two of your fingers to her lips. “Be gentle, baby, or this is the last thing you’ll do.”

Her face twists in anger as she sucks your fingers, her tongue caressing the slit where they meet. Your breaths become more labored as you feel your wetness begin to drip between your thighs. “Good girl,” you whisper.

You hear Joel move closer behind you, swallowing the distance in two long strides. His fingers seek out your pathetically sopping cunt, groaning as he easily slips two inside.

“Having fun?” He asks, the smile on his face coming through clear in his deep, gravelly voice. He fucks his fingers in and out of you in time with the pace you set your fingers in his prisoner’s mouth.

“Yeah, maybe,” you respond in a daze. He curls his fingers roughly, sending yours in too deep, resulting in a gag from your new toy.

“Do you want to be nice yet?” you ask, feeling your lips curl into a cruel smirk.

She nods enthusiastically, a look of fear and lust in her eyes you easily recognizable.

You pull the gun back from her head. “No sudden moves, ok?” She nods again, her chest rising and falling quickly.

You drag the gun up and down over her clothed cunt as Joel continues to pump his fingers in and out of you. You angle the barrel to push just barely into her covered pussy and drag it up enough to catch her clit. Her breath hitches and she arches her back.

“I think she likes you, baby,” Joel breathes into your ear. He pulls his fingers out and you give a disappointed huff.

You hear Joel’s unzip his pants, pull his cock out and stroke it slowly.

“What do you want from her, sweet pea?” He asks in a strained whisper.

You look down at her, meeting her watering eyes, settling on her trembling lips. She’s terrified of what you may answer. But maybe a little excited. The thought alone sends a twisted chill down your spine.

You stroke her bottom lip with your thumb, entranced by the way she closes her eyes and leans into your touch.

“I want to see more,” you finally reply, eyeing her body, hidden within tattered and bloodied clothes.

“You head her,” Joel snaps, the change in tone and volume startling you both.

She gets to work quickly, shedding her soiled wears piece by piece until she’s completely naked.

“That what you wanted?” Joel growls.

“Yeah,” you say breathlessly, gliding your fingers over her soft skin.

She shudders as you reach her nipples, so you to pay even more attention to them. You drag your lips and tongue over her breasts as your hand ventures lower.

Fuck, she’s wet, you think as you delicately insert a finger into her pussy. She bucks into your hand, grinding her clit into your palm.

Why the fuck is this turning me on so much, you wonder as you feel your own pussy clench around nothing, weeping for any sort of contact.

“Get on top of her,” Joel commands, noticing your growing excitement.

You mount her without thinking, staring deep into her eyes. Maybe you were trying to make yourself feel better about the situation, but you could have sworn she met your gaze with the same amount of lust.

You have your legs straddling her hips and Joel’s knees pushing her legs further apart from behind you. He lines himself up with your desperate hole and buries himself inside you, pushing you hips down and grinding your clit against hers.

You both cry out from the contact. Joel’s unrelenting pace keeps your desperate cunt rocking into hers, the pleasure undeniable from either party.

Joel’s arm snakes around you and roughly palms one of her breasts, the flesh spilling around his large, dirty hands. You bring one of your own more delicate hands to her other, marveling at the difference in size. You become intoxicated at the feeling of being fucked into another woman. With any other man you’re sure you would have hated this, but as Joel slams into you your entire world is consumed by lust.

You feel a bite at the crook of your neck, Joel’s teeth sinking deep and marking you as his. He strokes the back of your hair before curling his fingers and tugging backwards, exposing more of your neck to him.

He licks a slow line up to your jaw, and with how transfixed on him the woman below is, you know he’s got his intense gaze fixed upon her. You almost feel jealous again but the tightening coil in your center snuffs it out quickly.

You feel the hand tangled in your hair push you downwards. Like dolls he’s playing with, he takes you both by the back of the head and forces your faces together.

You both resist at first until she moans into your mouth and you take the opportunity to lunge your tongue in. She uses her hand for the first time to grip your hair and you brace yourself for a fight, but you’re pleasantly surprised when she holds you closer and bucks her hips into yours.

She thrusts her hips into yours desperately. You reach down and hook two fingers into her wet little hole, giving her what she needs to find her release.

Her moans in your mouth and orgasm against your pussy combined with Joel’s vicious thrusts rapidly send you over the edge.

Joel watches and feels you cum with her and he can’t hold back any longer. He pushes you roughly into your new companion, spilling his seed with a feral grunt and a few more slow pulses.

You collapse beside the woman you hated less than an hour ago. She curls into your side and without really thinking about it, you stroke her hair. You extend an arm for Joel to join you on the tiny, stained mattress.

Instead of collapsing into your arms as you had foolishly hoped, he grabs you by the elbow, cruelly ripping you from your embrace to stand face to face with him.

You meet his eyes, wincing at the fire and brimstone set deep within. In your ecstasy you forgot who you now were. Who you belonged to.

The weight of the situation settles back onto the woman you knew so intimately moments ago.

“No,” she cries softly. “Please.”

“Can’t we let her go?” You ask meekly, tears threatening to run down your cheeks again, the pleasure and torment caused by this man exhausting you to the core.

“She’s seen too much,” he responds coldly. “I’ll give her a nicer end than any of my men will.”

You hang your head, knowing there’s not an argument to be had. Your head is swimming but you faintly hear her try to bargain her way into living a little longer. Her hand manages to grasp yours and you turn to meet her eyes one last time before Joel thrusts a knife into her neck. You hold her hand until it falls limply from your own, watching until her eyes glaze over, no longer registering yours.

He sought to teach you a lesson, and whether it be through jealousy or grief, the message came across loud and clear: You were his and his alone.

[thefisherqueen]

 The woman who approached me was certainly that, and of a most uncommon type. There could not have been a greater contrast between brother and sister, for Stapleton was neutral tinted, with light hair and gray eyes, while she was darker than any brunette whom I have seen in England—slim, elegant, and tall. She had a proud, finely cut face, so regular that it might have seemed impassive were it not for the sensitive mouth and the beautiful dark, eager eyes. With her perfect figure and elegant dress she was, indeed, a strange apparition upon a lonely moorland path.

Oh no, not Watson's bisexuality striking again. 'Sensitive mouth', yeah, sure

[the-inkwell-variable]

If the killer was willing to go so far just to send a message, they absolutely would take it a step further to silence her for good. They'd done it before, after all.  What was one more?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Amara expected her new life in Lochmallow to be peaceful, quiet. When she becomes the prime suspect in her competitor's death, she finds herself unable to rest unless she solves the crime herself. But who in the sleepy village would stoop to murder - and can she stop them before they strike again?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

CHARACTERS

AMARA VOREN ˚.⋆ half-tiefling, half-drow. twenty-seven years old. she/her, demisexual ˚.⋆ a skilled illusionist, scam artist, and baker with a sketchy past, freshly arrived in lochmallow expecting a fresh start.

HENDRYK VOREN ˚.⋆ half-tiefling, half-drow. twenty-seven years old. he/him, asexual ˚.⋆ Amara's brother, a jack-of-all-trades with an easy smile and an absolute devotion to his little sister.

GLENDARA MOONCREST ˚.⋆ high elf. four hundred and ninety-five years old. she/her, bisexual. ˚.⋆ the widow of a founder of lochmallow. owns an occultery and amara's direct competition. very blunt and abrasive. not very popular.

ROSE FENWICK ˚.⋆ half-elf. a hundred and fifty-six years old. she/her, heterosexual. ˚.⋆ a widowed fisherwoman with a take-no-crap attitude but a golden heart beneath her multiple leather aprons.

JALEN McKINNON ˚.⋆ half-elf. seventy-four years old. he/him, homosexual. ˚.⋆ the local blacksmith. more thorns than rose. absolutely obsessed with protecting his little village. has a huge crush on hendryk.

LILY MONTAGUE ˚.⋆ human. twenty-two years old. she/her, bisexual. ˚.⋆ jalen's apprentice. fire mage in training. too naive for her own good.

RINARV STRAKELN ˚.⋆ dwarf. three hundred and eighty-six years old, heterosexual. ˚.⋆ the local gossip. always found where the action is. always happy to have a chat, no matter the topic. very sunshine.

TILTON KAIN ˚.⋆ human. forty-six years old. he/him, bisexual. ˚.⋆ the sheriff of lochmallow. chews tobacco like he's addicted, but he can quit any time. enjoys suspenders and scuffing freshly polished boots.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

GENRE ˚.⋆ cozy fantasy mystery

POV ˚.⋆ third person

STATUS ˚.⋆ second draft

INSPIRED BY ˚.⋆ once upon a witchlight - murder's a witch - baldur's gate 3

TROPES ˚.⋆ misjudged death. villainous victim. detective suspect. blackmail. second chance. family ties. morally gray protagonist. light angst. diverse characters. romance as a background character.

TAGLIST ˚.⋆ @theink-stainedfolk - @drchenquill Ask to be added!

[amypihcs]

Watson's charms strike again!

HELLOHELLO! Okay, i usually make crazy long posts, but this will be even longer than usual. Dunno if I'll include any gifs even if all of us would deserve gifs of Ted's handsome and smiley face.

SO LET'S GET STARTED!

Oh, such a nice scenery! They were tired from the journey, certainly, and morning brings new light and optimism. So good.

Unfortunately, not everything is just so good.

If both heard the same thing, neither were asleep. And in fact Watson is very much sure of what he heard.

I love that Watson is so alert and stays on his guard even if he's tired. It's so in character for a doctor AND a former soldier AND Sherlock Holmes' husband.

And in fact I guess that his bullshit detectors were blaring already when he saw Barrymore grew paler. Uhm. Detective Watson is on the case now.

Thanks for the bisexuality. And we need to remember his bias, THEIR bias, Watson's and Sir Henry's, toward the possibility that Barrymore might be the culprit.

In any case, his reasoning is sound and one handsome doctor hops out of Baskerville Hall and goes to the Grimpen post office!

Look at this cutie! And as he walks he thinks! How could it be that it was Barrymore in London if he was at the hall.

Oh well, simply common sense, logic and courtesy went down and nulled the telegram trick. Easy.

Holmes would have words for that, but the boy is innocent, how could he know? I don't blame him. He seems a nice lad.

And Watson is missing his husband SO. Hey! Who's there?

AAAH! the famous Stapleton, the naturalist! Watson flexes a bit his powers of observation and they end up going for a walk up to Merripit House. And we discover that Stapleton has OPINIONS.

On Sir Charles' death. Uhm... And he's also rather curious!

HEY! Why are you asking of Holmes? bah! Fans! Watson is answering well with 'i can neither confirm nor deny...' But yes. Rude!

Oh well. Once this FANBOY has been calmed down, let's resume the walk. You like this place, you say?

Watson would like to have a bit of sport, to get some adrenaline with a nice, fast ride but yeah.

BETTER NOT. Bogs are not to be trifled with.

W: OH WELL, THEN I MIGHT TRY! S: BLOODY HELL NO, NEVER, YOU'D CROACK BADLY. - Oh! A butterfly!

And then he be zooming.

Why so many people are so anxious to meet m- A-Woman. A-beautiful-Woman.

Watson.exe has stopped working.

-Say something charming- -NOT LIKE THAT JOHN!-

Well, Miss Stapleton knows what she wants at least. But she's not explaining a thing...

WO! Watson managed TWO coherent sentences!

And Beryl Stapleton has something to hide. And so does her brother... Interesting.

Sir... Henry? no? And no, there's been a misunderstanding. Watson is NOT Sir Henry, but now you've made the biggest gossip girl of the country curious.

Ah, some small talk now, right?

So nice that you want to call at the Hall, but no, I'm sorry, Mr Stapleton, I'm taken.

How can you just invite the admittedly charming man you have met not half an hour ago upstairs to see your collection of BUTTERFLIES, Stapleton?

Oh well, Watson takes his leave and he is missing his Holmes so much.

AND WHAT IS ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND HERE!??

Miss Stapleton is DEFINITELY hiding something and Watson has recovered enough neurons to try to charm her into revealing her secret.

Well, he fails the ability check.

She is persistent if nothing else.

SO! We met a strange couple fo siblings. Watson charmed and was charmed. And we learn that people are hiding things around the moor. Interesting.

We'll see now what comes down in the next chapter!

[pikaflute]

Bisexual lighting strikes again btw love wins

[tomorrowusa]

Republicans want to mark Pride Month by burning pride flags.

The Colorado Republican Party doubled down on a homophobic message by standing by a tweet calling for the burning of all Pride flags during the month of June. “Burn all the #pride flags this June,” the state Republicans wrote Monday in a post on X. The state party also sent a conspiracy-laden, fear-mongering email about LGBTQ people and Pride month to supporters as it continued to attack Pride month and people who celebrate it. “The month of June has arrived and, once again, the godless groomers in our society want to attack what is decent, holy, and righteous so they can ultimately harm our children,” the letter, signed by Colorado GOP Party Chair Dave Williams, said. The email also included a video sermon from a disgraced pastor titled "God Hates Flags," a name that shares a striking similarity to the "God Hates F***" slogan used by the bigoted members of the Westboro Baptist Church.

Despite blatant hate speech and relentless homophobia from Republicans, there are still clueless idiots who claim both parties are alike. 🙄

Williams continued to spew hate when he spoke to USA TODAY about how God hates "pride flags," and doubled down on the party's comments. “We make no apologies for saying God hates pride or pride flags as it’s an agenda that harms children and undermines parental authority, and the only backlash we see is coming from radical Democrats, the fake news media, and weak Republicans who bow down at the feet of leftist cancel culture," he said. Shad Murib, Colorado's Democratic Party Chair, pointed to the comments an example of blatant, flagrant, extremist rhetoric coming from the state GOP.

As most of us already know, the Democratic attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community is the opposite of that of the Republicans.

A Proclamation on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex Pride Month, 2024 | The White House

Democrat Barack Obama was the first president to light up the White House in pride colors.

As Ron DeSantis has made abundantly clear in Florida, the GOP is the "don't say gay" party.

[coraniaid]

I realize I've posted quite a lot about The Wish today without really talking about the whole doomed alternate universe angle, but that's mainly because I just ... don't find that part of the episode very interesting?

As I've said before, Buffy's strength has never been its worldbuilding or its plotting, and this episode is no exception.  As an actual attempt to answer the question "what might Sunnydale be like if Buffy had never come to town?'' it's all a little underwhelming.  Where is Luke?  Where is Darla? Where is Jesse (and if he was never vamped in this universe, why not)?  Why does school end early (suggesting some sort of non-vampire authority trying to protect people), but forbid Cordelia from driving a car (thereby forcing her to walk home in the dark)? Why is there still school at all?  Why don't the humans just wait until it's light outside and leave town?  Did this reality have a 'real' Cordelia that our Cordelia physically replaced?  Why, if Cordelia's wish was only that Buffy never came to Sunnydale?  Why didn't her memories change too?  How and when exactly did the Master get free? Why did the Mayor let this happen?  Did Spike and Drusilla still come to town last year looking for a cure for Drusilla?  If so, why is Angel still alive?  Is there a particular reason why Willow, of all people, seems obsessed with torturing him in particular?  Did he fail to protect her when she was alive, or did he kill the vampire (Darla?) that sired her? Did Jenny still come to town to keep an eye on Angel? Where is she? Why does Giles insist on having White Hat meetings in the library at night instead of in his big, well-supplied, vampire-safe house?

These questions have no answer, and even typing them out like this feels like seriously missing the point (well, the last one is a question that we're not supposed to ask in the regular show either).  You could write fanfic trying to answer them (and I'm sure that people have), but they are far beyond the scope of this episode.

And ultimately we're just being told a shaggy dog story here: once Anyanka's power source is destroyed, we snap back to the moment of Cordelia making her wish and nobody has any idea what happened.  None of the characters can learn from or be changed by this episode's events. (Okay, yes, Anya will be changed the next time we see her, but she'll also be a mostly different character who just happens to share the same name.)

So we're left with metaphor, the show’s usual strength: what can the writers tell us about the characters through this story of a world where Buffy never came to Sunnydale? And the answer is ... not much, especially after the show goes for the shock twist of killing Cordelia off mid-episode. 

Buffy would be much more like Faith if she didn't have her friends?  OK, but this is not news.  That has been explicitly the point of Faith's character for a while, arguably since her first episode. Giles thinks a world where he's no longer a Watcher and the town he lives in is overrun by vampires who keep killing people he tries to protect would be bad?  Yeah, me too.  Obviously there's some striking visual symbolism in Willow and Xander killing Cordelia and then Xander killing Angel (and being killed by Buffy moments later), and in Oz helping to kill Willow, but it just doesn't really mean anything.  These versions of the characters don't know anything about their 'real' selves, so these moments don't mean much to them, and the versions of the characters we've been following will never know about any of this at all.

Don't get me wrong: The Wish is a solid, fun episode. I enjoyed watching it, I'll enjoy watching it again next time I rewatch the show, and I get that having an alternate universe episode where everyone is evil and bisexual is any case all but mandatory for genre television. It's fun to see Mark Metcalf chewing the scenery as the Master again, and it's not like I'm immune to the appeal of Alyson Hannigan as vamp!Willow.  But there's just nothing much to say about any of it, is there?  

Uh. It was sad when everybody died hating each other, but then magically they hadn't and they were friends again, and that was nice.

[everharrt]

Repost, don’t reblog. Bold for yes, Italic for maybe, Strike if absolutely not. BLANK MEME LINK.

GENERAL.

SEXUALITY.  heterosexual. bisexual. homosexual. pansexual. demisexual. asexual. other: Esmé isn't attracted to gender identities. He's attracted to qualities in a person and goes from there.

ROLE.  dominate. submissive. switch. 

SEX DRIVE.  none. low. average. above average. hypersexual.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE.  prefers experienced partners. prefers moderately experienced partners. prefers inexperienced partners. one night stands. friends with benefits. serious relationships.

DETAILS.

TYPE.  vaginal. anal. cunnilingus. fellatio. intercrural. hand jobs. foot jobs. other:

ACTING ROLE.  top. bottom. power bottom. soft top. switch. service top. service bottom.

INITIATION.  prefers to initiate. prefers not to initiate.

TOYS: Whatever preference his partner has for toys. Esmé is comfortable with his limits and has no issue telling someone no if he's either disinterested or not comfortable with it.

CLOTHING.  no clothes. some clothes. full clothes. lingerie. kink specific clothing. other:

EXTRA NOTES. On only the rarest of occasions and under very specific circumstances (ie, partners) will Esmé switch. If he is sexually intimate with men, he is the top and there is no negotiating that. If his partner is also a top, Esmé will desist in sexual advances, as they are incompatible.

BONDAGE.

BASIC.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

LIGHT.  blindfold. basic at-hand restraints (i.e. clothing: ties, belts, laces). handcuffs. privately worn collar. cloth gag.

MEDIUM.  leather cuffs. leather restraints. rope restraints. chastity device/belt. ball gag. phallic gag. leather harnessing. leash. muzzles. spreader bars.

HEAVY.  metal cuffs. chains. manacles & irons. mummification. publicly worn collar. bit gag. inflatable gag. ring gag. tape gag. rope harnessing. shibari. full head hood. immobilization. stocks (head & hands). straight jackets. suspension (upright, horizontal, inverted).

EXTRA NOTES.

BODILY FLUIDS.

ROLE.  being the submissive. being the acting. both.

creampie (ass, mouth, vagina). cum on body (face, torso, genitalia). bloodplay. golden showers. [breast] milking. rimming. swallowing (semen, urine).

EXTRA NOTES. See prior note about submission.

FETISH.

ROLE.  being the worshipper. being the worshipped. both.

worship (body, genitalia, foot, boot). corsets. cross-dressing. diapers. gas masks. high heels. leather. lingerie. rubber/latex clothing. spandex clothing. themed clothing.

EXTRA NOTES. Esmé isn't into the worshipping kink, but he can appreciate corsets, heels, etc. on a partner. He will not wear them himself.

ROUGH PLAY.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

MILD.  slapping. spanking with hand. spanking with an object. over knee spanking. wrestling.

HARSH.  punching. kicking. genitalia spanking. genitalia whipping. whipping (belt, cat o’ 9 tails, flogger). caning. 

EXTRA NOTES. He doesn't mind a little slapping during a wrestling scuffle or power struggle (as in, being slapped). He would never perceive to slap his partner without specific permission.

MARKING.

ROLE.  being the marked. being the marker. both.

permanent. temporary.

biting. hickeys. branding. scarification. tattooing. carving.

EXTRA NOTES. He's fine with being marked as long as it's somewhere he can hide with clothing. This include permanent marking.

ROLE-PLAY.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

fear. puppy. infantilism. initiation. interrogation. medical. prison. prostitution. religious. schoolroom. switching roles. power exchange. punishment. other: 

EXTRA NOTES. Once again, in specific circumstances and with the right partner.

SENSATION PLAY.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

asphyxiation. biting. beating (hard, soft). breath control (mild restriction, choking). clamps (genitalia, nipples). crying. ear plugs. electricity (internal, external). finger claws. fire play. gun play. hair pulling. horse riding (crotch torture). hot wax (body, genitalia). ice cubes. knife play (blood, no blood). overstimulation. needle play. nipple play (pulls, tugs, twists). pain (mild, severe). scratching. sensory deprivation. sleep deprivation. suction cups. teasing. tickling. waterboarding. 

EXTRA NOTES. He's not opposed to being choked, and all of this will only be done with permission to a partner.

SERVICE.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

begging. chores. picking clothes/dressing. picking food/feeding. contracts. following orders. kneeling. manicures. massage. pedicures & foot massages. phone sex. serving as: maid, furniture, art. servicing others (supervised). uniform wearing. symbolic jewelry wear.

EXTRA NOTES.

PENETRATION.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

anal beads. anal plugs (small, medium, large, vibrating, in public - under clothes). breast fucking. dildos (anal, oral, vaginal). double penetration. fisting (anal, vaginal). masturbation. orgasm control/denial. sexual deprivation. sounding. strap ons (sucking, fucking, wearing). triple penetration. vibrator (anal. vaginal. external.)

EXTRA NOTES.

VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM.

ROLE.  being the sub. being the dom. both.

examination. exhibitionism (friends, strangers). forced nudity (private, public). outdoor scenes. video (watching/recording). voyeurism.

EXTRA NOTES. He likes to watch, but he doesn't like to share.

[wellntruly]

The 4077 Film Festival

I watched three (plus) movies that they watched on M*A*S*H; this is my book report.

“Marlene Dietrich is back in town.” / 2x24 ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’

Okay so this one is actually just referenced in dialogue, not a specific film we watch them watch, but it happened that I watched two of Josef von Sternberg’s Marlene Dietrich films right before starting the M*A*S*H fest programming in earnest, so prologue, baby, prologue!

I had moved Shanghai Express (1932) up my watch list ever since it kicked off the Little Gold Men podcast’s Pride month Oscar flashbacks series this year, reminding me that I really wanted to see another Marlene Dietrich movie. Just stepping forward a few years into the 1930s also felt good, felt right after watching just so many (all) of Buster Keaton’s movies from the 1920s. Hot Chronological Summer!

I ended up watching both it and Morocco, because Shanghai Express SO enchanted me. Morocco (1930) is the one where Dietrich dresses in a tuxedo and steals a kiss from a woman, but Shanghai Express actually felt more pervasively, albeit subliminally queer to me, perhaps because she and her fellow sapphically inclined co-star Anna May Wong were rumored to have had an affair at some point. There’s just something about the scenes of the two of them lounging in a train car together just listening to music or silently playing cards and coolly eyeing anyone who comes in that says ‘gay culture.’ The actual romance plot is heterosexual of course, but it was wild how much more I was into that relationship than I was her one with Gary Cooper in Morocco, a much more famous and famously handsome star than [looks him up yet again] Clive Brook, and yet Brook all the WAY for me, girl. If we have to choose between Marlene Dietrich’s male love interests in von Sternberg pictures.

Anyway in the second season M*A*S*H episode ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’, Radar is engaged in a bit of hoodwinking (the 4077th’s second favorite pastime after flirting), and to indicate that he’s surreptitiously swapped some papers to further confuse some spy vs. spy antics going on, lights a cigarette and strikes a leg-up pose silhouetted in the doorway, causing spy #2 to ask if that’s the signal, and Hawkeye to remark, “Either that, or Marlene Dietrich is back in town,” and honestly describing Radar as being in drag as a famous bisexual woman from the ‘30s is not necessarily the least accurate description of Radar’s gender that I can think of.

Should you watch Shanghai Express? Babe yes, so moody in the best way. The play of light and shadow! This mysterious cast of characters all thrown together on a train! The Chinese civil war??? SHANGHAI EXPRESS.

Should you watch Morocco? Also looks so so beautiful, but if you only have room in your life for one Marlene movie, easy choice it's the above.

Blood and Sand (1941) / 3x05 ‘O.R.’

And now we reach the movies they actually watch on the show, although the first is a slight feint: this one we only hear. Early in the third season episode ‘O.R.’, recognizing that they’re all going to be working through the night, Radar asks Henry if he should pipe the audio from the movie in over the PA system, and Henry approves of this. I IMMEASURABLY approve of this, and think hearing the sound of old movie dialogue and Spanish guitar playing half muffled overhead as they operate is one of the most spellbinding atmospheres this show ever captured.

But the interesting thing about the choice of Blood and Sand for this episode, is that what this movie was most known for was actually its bold Technicolor visuals. Reportedly, director Rouben Mamoulian would carry around spray paint with him so he could change the color of props at a moment’s notice, and was also known to just paint shadows onto the walls sometimes if he couldn’t get the effect he wanted with light alone. The efforts of Mamoulian and his crew nabbed them the Academy Award for Best Cinematography: Color for 1941 (this was the era where there were two cinematography categories for color and black & white; ran until the 1960s actually!), as well as a nomination for Art Direction.

Though the film got no other notices and somewhat mixed reviews overall, Tyrone Power and Rita Hayworth were big deal movie stars, and their star-power is probably what contributed to much of this movie’s commercial success. When Father Mulcahy, hearing a scene playing over the speaker, asks what this is, Henry just states the title and their names. From another table, Hawkeye adds as a piece of description: “The Frank and Hot Lips of Old Seville.”

As it happens, Hawkeye’s joke is not so far off really! Tyrone Power is playing a passionate dumb matador married to a beautiful and innocent Linda Darnell (secret stalwart of the M*A*S*H programming, she's in two of these!), but gets swept up in a tumultuous affair with a powerful temptress played by Rita Hayworth. Something I learned watching Blood and Sand is that when Loretta Swit is playing Margaret in glimmering, half-lidded seduction mode, a big loose enticing smile on her lips, she is absolutely channeling Rita Hayworth in movies like this. And given the way Blood and Sand goes (I am so sure you can guess), Hawkeye would seem to be implying that Margaret is fully capable of destroying Frank’s whole hapless married ass.

Verisimilitude Corner: What plays over the speakers is 100% a scene in Blood and Sand, but I believe that the Spanish guitar I so love is actually lifted from a different part of the score and layered in with this particular Power & Hayworth dialogue. It creates a much more distinctive auditory profile to weave through the background of this scene; I completely understand why they would have done this.

Should you watch Blood and Sand? Naw, it’s sure got a look, but story and construction aren’t exactly anything to write home about

Leave Her to Heaven (1945) / 3x18 ‘House Arrest’

The first thing I noticed about Leave Her to Heaven should have occurred to me earlier: 20th Century Fox. All three of these titles turn out to be Fox movies, making all the sense in the world, as M*A*S*H the show was produced by the Fox television arm, after the success of the feature branch’s surprise hit, M*A*S*H the Altman film. Licensing clips of movies is definitely easier when they are also your movies.

The next framing element we need to discuss is that once more, this film was known for its vivid Technicolor cinematography, again the winner of the Academy Award for Cinematography: Color its year! And yet, what they’re watching on M*A*S*H is definitely Leave Her to Heaven, and definitely in black & white. Come to think of it, all films they watch are.

I have tried to figure out what’s going on here, and in the process have learned a lot more about the mechanics both physical and economic of Technicolor film, but have not come up with any definitive explanation (yet), just an educated guess. Which is, as it so often is, especially with the Army: cost. Shooting Technicolor film was outrageously expensive, involving huge cameras that you had to rent by the day from the Technicolor company, through which you would run three strips of film that were treated in different ways, so would respond to light and then dye differently (yes they dyed the film! incredible! are you seeing why it was SO ‘SPENSIVE), and then they’d all be layered together, et voilà: the richer-than-life colors you see in Technicolor films from the 30s-50s.

And as a side product this process also resulted in: a black & white negative. Now I have not yet found anyone confirming this, but my suspicion is that the studios would also make some copies off this negative that were not run through the pricey dye process, and those black & white reels would have been available for cheap if you were, say, the U.S. Army, looking for a discounted way to distract for a couple hours the people you’ve sent to fight a war from the fact that you’ve sent them to fight a war. I think it’s a good theory! But if anyone has actual info PLEASE let me know, I’m so so interested in what was going on here.

But meanwhile: in the third season M*A*S*H episode ‘House Arrest’, Hawkeye, on the titular house arrest, learns that Gene Tierney, striking in any color scheme, is in the movie they have that week, and is ready to move Heaven & Earth, or at least Father Mulcahy, to be able to see her. What Hawkeye does not know at this moment, nor would anyone watching this episode who has not seen John M. Stahl’s Leave Her to Heaven, is that it also predominantly takes place in SMALL TOWN MAINE. I love the idea of M*A*S*H writers putting this easter egg in here, winking “and this will be one for the Criterion crowd :)” (also predicting the emergence of the Criterion Collection ten years later).

Verisimilitude Corner: For reasons I cannot fathom, the Leave Her to Heaven clips playing on the wall of the Swamp are happening all out of order. The first scene we see set at a table takes place in the early middle of the film, then we cut way back to the beginning portion in New Mexico, before swinging all the way to a piece in the last act. There is no wedding scene in this film, no matter what Father Mulcahy says, but it is in fact even funnier that Henry cries at the one he does, as this is actually one of Gene Tierney's big dangerous femme fatale moments (for all that like, they all are—tbc!!), and his weeping at it tracks with how Nurse Able is mystified by his reaction, and earlier he'd complained that after looking away for two seconds he had lost the plot.

Should you watch Leave Her to Heaven? So turns out Leave Her to Heaven is considered one of the few COLOR NOIRS, and it kinda fucks totally. It looks so Douglas Sirk melodrama gorgeous, but with a plot straight out of Gone Girl. And like, you ever seen Vincent Price, young? NOT I. Impossibly tall. Shows up in a rain storm in the New Mexico desert. Martin Scorsese has said this is one of his favorite movies—the taste.

My Darling Clementine (1946) / 5x22 ‘Movie Tonight’

And finally, from the Potter era, and from Potter’s heart, comes the fifth season episode 'Movie Tonight', where we watch really a remarkable amount of the battered copy he’s managed to track down of his favorite film, the John Ford western My Darling Clementine.

Harry Morgan is so cute, the phrase “My Darling Clementine” is so cute—with its lilting song to match—and this episode itself: it’s cute. The film screening works just as Colonel Potter hoped it might: a way to bring his campful of grown theater kids together during a tense patch. It’s very funny how little urging it takes for them to begin using every unplanned projector failure intermission as an opportunity to get up and start doing impressions for each other.

But do you know what’s so intriguing? When I finally watched My Darling Clementine, I found it actually struck a kind of harmony with M*A*S*H’s more melancholy currents. Filmed in 1946, it’s been called one of the first true post-war westerns, and there does feel something sort of haunted in it, this sense of loss. It starts in the song even, which after those first lines you remember is actually about a young woman “lost and gone forever.” So many of the characters are carrying some sort of wound, physicalized in coughs or injuries if not simply the toll clearly being wrought on them by the deaths that keep falling around them.

And then there’s that the two main characters are a brooding, Shakespeare-loving, TB-stricken outlaw surgeon (oh okay!), and their reluctant but-I’ll-do-it new marshal, a mellow, even-voiced, semi-secretly then not at all secretly total fucking weirdo, who caused me to message a M*A*S*H friend part-way in, hey, did we know Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp is Such A BJ. Fun, FUN. That would have been fun in the mess tent.

The film itself isn’t devoid of humor, either, should mention! Particularly around Old West Hunnicutt. It's that element as well as its dreamy bleakness that pairs well with a mobile hospital post in Korean War sitcom purgatory. Colonel Potter, famously, loves horses, so his 2/3rds horse-based explanation for why he loves this movie raises zero questions, but what that doesn’t indicate is you’re also going to get scenes like one where Doc Holiday is having alcohol poured over his hands so he can do emergency surgery on a pair of scrubbed tables in the saloon. This was a good pick, M*A*S*H writers, is what I’m saying.

Should you watch My Darling Clementine? Oh yes if I was not clear: Yes

4077 Film Festival: Closing Remarks

I enjoyed this process so much. I love conceptual experiences and homework, so, really optimal for me. And I love old movies and I love M*A*S*H and I love their use of old movies on M*A*S*H! Contemporary cultural elements like this do wonders I think to recall you to their actual time period, as this show is so much about the 1970s and Vietnam, that remembering it's actually set in the '50s can give me an enjoyable swoop in my stomach as I suddenly fall back further in time. It was the 1950s... The records that show up in 'Your Hit Parade' are all jazz... M*A*S*H: good show, good movie & music supervision.

Up next: NOT Bedtime For Bonzo (1951), a real movie, that also underscores my statement above as I just need to express to you: starred future president Ronald Reagan. M*A*S*H!!!!

[a-thirst-for-dunmer]

My favorite things about all my Skyrim followers:

KAIDAN

-wicked ass armor and weapon with fucking tigers on it

-realistic cursing in life or death situations

-literally the most realistic male dialogue ever with his corny ass innuendos. ‘This monument, does it remind you of me, love? Just kidding.’

-so goated in battle. Mans can kill a dragon so easy and i don’t need to do anything but look pretty

-ACCENT.

CARYALIND

-his hair is so fluffy. I bet it smells like roses and vanilla bean, what’s your secret bb

-such a sweetheart all the time. No wonder he can’t be Thalmor, he has too much heart for it

-fucking backstory. It’s very Zuko without villain redemption arc, and the fact that he still worries about the LDB thinking worse of him for being Thalmor royalty is just *chef’s kiss*

-ACE REP. I really fucking love how he can dress like a hoe, flirt like a hoe, and look so hot but have no interest in sex. Mmm that’s my jam that’s what I like.

-boob window

-Kaidan interactions! Proving that Altmer can be kind and sweet and not lighting-shooting British assholes

INIGO

-the backstories for everyone are so damn tearjerking but this guy?? Don’t even get me started on this mans scars I will cry

-literally autism. Says everything on his mind. Sir you are me

-blue. And a cat. What else??

-Lucien and him have a bromance that hits so good

-suplexes Nazeem with only his vibes

-sings original songs, where’s his soundcloud

KHASH

-okay first off i was writing a character just like her for the daughter of my LDB and Revyn. Never knew about her but this is Leeta come to life and i crave it

-pottymouth

-Kaidan Big Bro protection dialogue

-so happy when she kills things

-literally exactly what I expected a baby Argonian to sound like. So cute. So grumpy

-her outfit is just on point. If i hadn’t transitioned i would be cottagecore peasant dress woman with cats

LUCIEN

-like Cary, he is just sweet himbo no brain

-kid in a candy shop vibes. He is amazed by the wonders of this world

-the nerdiest mans you know, would probably never shut up about shit with Auryen but i haven’t gotten that far yet

-bottom energy

-AUTISM once again

-also sings!! Can sing ‘Toss a Coin to Your Witcher’ parody!!

AURI

-she is the Moment

-eats people and only meat. Wanna see someone react to ThatVeganTeacher with her as a vtuber model oml

-bullies Lucien (affectionately)

-cool pod

-looks like she could kill you and could actually kill you

-slams ALL haters and unworthy into the ground with her dialogue. Faendal ily but you don’t deserve her

RUMARIN

-a sweetheart himbo

-very Skilled with magic, specifically bound weapons. As someone who uses conjuration as their main line of magic, because dremora and bound bow go brr, I LOVE THAT

-not really good at speaking poorly of anyone tbh

-like lucien, he’s optimistic and fun to be around

-very…earthy. Jank. Grungy. Not what you’d expect from an Altmer, to be living as an adventurer mercenary, and i like that for him

-eats in bed, brain too empty to clean for long periods of time

-polyamorous pansexual King

-says Z like zed, which makes linguistics in Skyrim lore interesting

NEBARRA

-literally me

-sarcasm to the max

-name means ‘foreigner’ or ‘scorned’ or something transgender. anyway, king nihilist shit

-only wants the good wines

-also, the Accent, very good very sass

-Shakespearean insults for days

-also regular insults

-just…insults

-mystery and striking fear into the hearts of all

TALIESIN

-i thought no one could top Revyn in vibes of what Elder Scrolls character i would kin but then ✨he✨ came along

-no idea why Altmer are Brits but with him, i can vibe with it he sounds so good

-giggles evilly in fights

-s a s s

-pansexual!! We are putting queer in the game! (Even tho all vanilla spouses are, in the most Basic sense, bisexuals)

-the spice he can add with Cary as a protector/snarky best friend. I Need their backstory

-afraid of dogs, cat person

-just an absolute bitch to the Dragonborn but like in a way my gay friends are to me

-eyeliner on fleek

HONORABLE MENTIONS FOR SKEEVER AND CROC

-silly voice go brrr