#bingeeatingdisorderawareness

[wholeheartedly-angelina]

A Letter to My Body

Dear Body,

I am sorry.

I am sorry for years of loathing you,

when all you did was give me good health,

despite the torture I put you through with each binge and every restrictive diet.

 .

I am sorry.

I am sorry for binge eating.

Binge eating up to seven thousand calories in a day,

sometimes in one sitting.

Stuffing you with food without tasting or enjoying it.

Stuffing you with food until you screamed “please stop” with each stomach gargle and belch.

Stuffing you with food until you simply could not accept one more mouthful.

Stuffing you with food until it made you physically sick to your stomach.

Mindlessly.

Miserably.

Hopelessly.

 .

I am sorry.

I am sorry for restrictive dieting.

Starving you.

Not giving you the nourishment that you needed.

Expecting you to exercise in a fasted state.

Expecting you to exercise at 3am before a 10-hour school day.

Depriving you of carbohydrates and foods that brought you joy.

Depriving you of fun social events, fearing that you would give into the temptation of food that was bad or not allowed.

I am sorry for ignoring your signs of hunger.

Dizziness.

Nausea.

Weakness.

 .

I am sorry.          

I am sorry for hating you.

For blaming you for my actions.

For my unhealthy obsession with dieting and exercise.

For my excessive calorie consumption.

For measuring my self-worth by a number on the scale.

 .

I am sorry.

I am sorry for chasing a body shape and size that was unrealistic,

and despising you when my reflection in the mirror did not reflect what I so craved.

               Collar bones.

                               A smooth back.

                                               Tight toned arms.

 .

For so long I felt trapped in the endless cycle of binging and restrictive dieting.

Clinging.

Grasping.

Desperately holding on to the control that I thought that I had.

Even though food and diet culture had control over me.

 .

I am sorry.

I am sorry for taking so long to love you,

to appreciate you.

For giving, loving, and caring for so many others,

while truly lacking compassion for myself.

 .

For you have been abused and belittled,

shamed and blamed.

By me.

You always gave me your best,

even when I wallowed in self-pity and in self-deprecating thoughts,

while giving you my worst.

 .

And now,

I have found self-love and acceptance.

Comfort in knowing that you are resilient, strong, and powerful.

I have found peace within myself, not realizing the chaos that had clouded my self-image for so long.

Thank you for not giving up on me, even after I gave up on you.

Time

after

time.

 .

I will not allow my binge eating disorder to harm you anymore.

Because

I am worthy.

I am worthy of a balanced and nutritious diet.

I am worthy of love and affection.

I am worthy of a healthy relationship with food.

I am worthy no matter my dress size or the number on the scale.

 .

Dear Body,

You are good enough.

I am good enough.

I am sorry for the harm that I have caused.

I forgive myself and

I refuse to feel sorry anymore.

. 

Because now,

I see this body for what it is.

               Strong.

                               Healthy.

                                               Beautiful.

And now,

I am unapologetically me,

Recovering from B.E.D.

[labrujamusa]

Today marks the last day of NEDA week. This is a depiction of Other Specified Feeding/Eating Disorder aka Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified or Unspecified Eating Disorder. I hope I was able to properly shed some light on the importance of eating disorder awareness through my art. Eating disorders are a lethal illness that affect us more than we're taught. Please do your research and take care of your health, both physically, mentally and emotionally.♥ To read more about OSFED/EDNOS or UFED go to nationaleatingdisorders.org 🔼Please keep in mind i will not tolerate hate of any kind. Before you comment, really think about your words and how they will affect those who read them. 🔽 . . . #myart #artist #artistoninsta #artistoninstagram #artistontumblr #art #neda #nedaweek #nedawareness #eatingdisorders #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiaawarness #bulimia #bulimianervosa #bulimiaawareness #bingeeatingdisorderawareness #bingeeatingdisorder #bedawareness #orthorexia #orthorexiaawareness #orthorexianervosa #arfid #arfidawareness #avoidantrestrictivefoodintakedisorder #avoidantrestrictivefoodintakedisorderawareness #pica #picaawareness #otherspecifiedeatingdisorder #osfed #osfedawareness #otherspecifiedeatingdisorderawareness #ednos #ednosawareness #eatingdisordernototherwisespecified #eatingdisordernototherspecifiedawarenes #ufed #ufedawareness #unspecifiedeatingdisorder #unspecifiedeatingdisorderawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/Buk2pMmjJM7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ildm96q5b7b1

[labrujamusa]

This is a depiction of PICA. Please don't beat yourself up over your food temptations but please be mindful of what you put in your bodies.♥ To read more about PICA go to nationaleatingdisorders.org (there will be a link in my bio for the duration of NEDA) 🔼Please keep in mind i will not tolerate hate of any kind. Before you comment, really think about your words and how they will affect those who read them. 🔽 . . . . #myart #artist #artistoninsta #artistoninstagram #artistontumblr #art #neda #nedaweek #nedawareness #eatingdisorders #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiaawarness #bulimia #bulimianervosa #bulimiaawareness #bingeeatingdisorderawareness #bingeeatingdisorder #bedawareness #orthorexia #orthorexiaawareness #orthorexianervosa #arfid #arfidawareness #avoidantrestrictivefoodintakedisorder #avoidantrestrictivefoodintakedisorderawareness #pica #picaawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/BuiA4K6jKc5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=oc5bawnt0i5f

[labrujamusa]

This is a depiction of Orthorexia Nervosa. Please keep in mind all parts of the food group have all kinds of different vitamins we need and sugars, carbs, protein, etc. are beneficial to us in different ways. ♥ To read more about Orthorexia Nervosa go to nationaleatingdisorders.org (there will be a link in my bio for the duration of NEDA) 🔼Please keep in mind i will not tolerate hate of any kind. Before you comment, really think about your words and how they will affect those who read them. 🔽 . . . #myart #artist #artistoninsta #artistoninstagram #artistontumblr #art #neda #nedaweek #nedawareness #eatingdisorders #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiaawarness #bulimia #bulimianervosa #bulimiaawareness #bingeeatingdisorderawareness #bingeeatingdisorder #bedawareness #orthorexia #orthorexiaawareness #orthorexianervosa https://www.instagram.com/p/BudJCtMjKJO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1n7d9b4qxxmco