#big sidenote also I love Golden Child

[moth-in-the-moon]

I get what you mean. I might sound controversial here but Si Spurrier took Chuck Austen's spot in my list of bad Nightcrawler writers for awhile now.

After this tho ? This whole 6$ mess?? I actually prefer Austen to him. It's incredible.

Should have seen this coming, all the clues were there from the start : Nightcrawler's selective memory on everything he went through, none of his friends caring about him (100× worse than Austen on this one), that bit in Legion of X where we could see Nightcrawler's s3xual fantasies which included a woman that straight up looks like Rogue, the whole Mother Righteous deal, the Golden Child in Nightcrawlers (we went all later season Rick and Morty here) and of course the Margali fiasco, to which I'm still going "why just why" whenever I think about it especially after finding out Orchis actually has a magic user (new oc from Dark X-Men) who captured an alternative version of Nightcrawler + Madelyne Pryor before Fall of X went down (so like why tf couldn't they have another oc or just her be behind Legion of X's horn plot instead of the only good parent Kurt has??)

Just get Si Spurrier away from Nightcrawler forever. I'm begging here

Who are you and how did you find me

Outside of getting an ask that isnt from people I talk to on the daily, i assume, uh. Yeah what's been happening to Kurt has all kinda a big mess.

People can like the retcon and more power to them if they do, but I just. personally dont like how it messes with everything (a la Maximoffs arent Magnetos kids anymore, but somehow worse?) Full on explaination of my thoughts under the read more, be warned though, it might be a bit messy just based on it being me trying to collect my thoughts in a written form

Spurrier has made some very weird choices in the comics, definitly, though not all of them suck IMO.

(I'm probably the one person who thought about how Azazel has basically soul magic and how Kurt could thusly have magic aswell, meaning that Hope Sword being a magic weapon that kurt made in his soul (one which he should not have, but apperantly grew back) satisfied me and me specifically beccause AHA magical kurt!)

BUT YEAH NO, they messed up Margali ALOT, which, read the headline she is my girl, I liked seeing her again but WOW did they not understand her and what she does and the way they characterized her could be considered a form of character-assasination and possibly even. downright horrible considering the fact that she is a roma woman (though lets be real there are many issues with how writers treat the romani characters and as someone who is not romani, I wont speak on it in detail now, cause it's not really my place. but like man); Mr Sinisters rule 63 self was a whole thing, again as my headline says, do not like her., i think her character was handled horribly. Plus they made her like. the reason why margali does magic and as the number one margali fan in the world, thats bullshit. Margali has been sorcerer supreme twice, possibly even trice depending on how you read her being guardian of limbo so having her get to that point cause some fuckin Nathaniel Essex clone was like "teehee i actually gave you magic" and then making her take margalis magic and kill her?? It's bad. (also i dont like the way she looks, why would she look so different from other essex clones, its just. aesthetically weird to me); On the note of the nightcrawlers, I actually quite liked them as a concept, though I think they couldve gotten more creative with their designs. Please make them look like more than just character but hit with a blue coat of paint, theyre a mix of two genetic samples, not a full clone of one character. They are in a sense of biology, children of those two characters, dont make them look boring also dont like how two of them had a baby. they both have 50 percent kurt DNA. thats. thats not gonna be a healthy baby. Do like the baby tough, shout out to the god baby, her concept is way too funny to dislike.

NOW, I will say, reading over the stuff again, i feel like its implying that Raven used a bit of the dna from the baron and azazel for the whole, having a baby thing???

WHICH, if I'm reading that right, might actually mean that they just actually did the most insane move of basically going "actually every bio-parent we've ever given Kurt is Kurts Bio-Parent" and I would actually respect that and it would change my opinion on this comic INSTANTLY because this kind of shark jumpery would be amazing.

But either way, I feel like retconning everything is really bad for everyones characterization, especially Destiny and Mystiques, part of it being the "oh we had to leave you cause future vision said so" feels very much like them trying to find an excuse for why they wouldnt raise their child

Idk it feels weird to have him be raven and irenes beloved darling child that they were forced to give up when you have mystique and destiny not really giving a shit about kurt, like ever previously in the comics.

To me it feels empty and almost like a cheap reference. It isnt something easily inserted in todays canon, years ago, when we didnt have all the baggage of years of interactions, you couldve easily added that fact and explained why they left him, but now, its a mess

Plus they JUST brought Az back in the comics in the dark x-men thing, which. feels like really bad timing, if they just let azazel fade from memory and then do the retcon like "yeah kurt just dreamt all of that demon stuff teehee", it'd be annoying but.

He's in comics.

Recent comics.

Why would you remind everyone of his existence, yknow, the man literally made and designed to be kurts bio-dad down to basically being a red Kurt with straight hair and without ectrodactyly. and then. retcon him being the father.

It feels so weirdly timed, did they not talk to eachother when planning these series??

Also I get that not everyone likes Azazel and his deal, which is fair, he's a kinda one note weirdo guy, but idk man. I like him. I think he's funny, I like villains like him being just annoying pests.

ALSO!! Spider-Kurt is actually one of my favourite things recent comics has done, because FUNFACT there's a character who we only ever see the tombstone off on battle world, from a different universe, called Amanda Wagner-Parker aka Spider-Crawler and. I am kinda obsessed with her?? Like. They actually just gave us a hinted at Kurt/Peter kid a tonne of years ago??? possibly??? like that??? and no one ever talks about her So them making Kurt be buds with Peter and hang out was actually catering to me specifically. That was a good idea. Kurt as spiderman with magic powers was written for my tastes and no one elses ever actually

Also uh, all comic characters are technically ocs so being like "ooo new oc from this" feels a bit dismissive to me, just say character

[juxtaposed-nerd]

aapi heritage month headcanons pt. 3 !!!

just in time for s3 of dndads, let’s get into it! this one will probs be a lot but so much has happened in the past year 😭

- taylor LOVES chinese new year, he looks forward to it every year as the favorite (only) child and he eats all the dumplings he could ever eat and gets tons of red envelopes

- cassandra and morgan become best friends/mother-daughter relationship vibes post-doodler, like they are the most badass and cool women in the world and i do think taylor grows to love morgan so much and even though his relationships with nick/glenn are strained, at least he has the best mom and grandma

- as a voice actor for anime/cartoons i think cassandra really did fall in love w the art of anime and i’d love for her to guest at a con (make her the j michael tatum of her world PLEASE) and taylor gets a free ticket to weeb out as much as he wants <3

- in my heart glenn is trying his best, like he really wants that closeness (haha) and i think now post-doodler it's like literally what started as a father/son duo of him and nick now is genuinely a huge (kinda fucked up) family that is trying to mend itself and i do think it starts with chinese takeout !!!

- sidenote i think the close/foster/swifts etc are a great example of how freddie has subverted asian stereotypes fr and also how a family stuck in an absent/neglectful cycle has the ability to come together again

- the mending includes hermie too, hermie definitely deserves something more in his life and the chance get to be a kid w a home in the form of a big family w his bio dads (his normal parents are invited too) (and i also love the idea of normal being like 'grandpa henry! this is the guy!' and hermie being an honorary oak would be so cute 😭)

- hermie went and saw joy ride (2023) bc it was marketed as a comedy and came out bawling his eyes out from that one scene y’all adoptees know what im talking about

- tbh thinking about taylor's closeness w his mom and francis's w kimon wan literally asian moms are holding this show together

- the farnsworth’s are thai and german and they came to peachyville at a young age to give their newborn son a better life very starting nuclear family vibes, ed definitely learned thai for her, and now their son is a bowling champ!

- francis farnsworth and taylor swift are lowkey the spectrum of asian upbringing where it's like midwest asians vs socal asians 😳🤭 they live in different worlds

- kimon wan is an immigrant mom just trying to raise her family and her damn son wont stop being a loser 🤦‍♀️ literally milf w a shotgun (ed is a lucky man FR) (sorry anthony burch)

- when francis is having a really tough day then kimon wan will leave a plate of cut up fruit at his door so he knows he's still supported

- luo's golden wok is the first and only chinese restaurant in peachyville and they have to have the best pepper steak ever im calling it now

- tony collette would love and hate both jodie and glenn i think for different reasons but instead of calling them formosans he’d call them orientals 💀

- also tony collette is 0.0001% asian (chinese) and tyrus luo either DEFINITELY knows which is why he puts up w all the bullshit tony does or tony is determined to make sure that tyrus NEVER finds out ever

- they have a 'throwback' silent movie night at the drive-in and they show a meryl streep film and literally everyone falls in love w him 🥰

- billion millions was a crazy rich asian and he was an icon

- once again they mean the world to me! might end up posting more at some point who knows lol

-

checkout past headcanons: 2022! 2023!

[pondslime]

Jack and David for the Headcanons PLEASSEEEE

oh u have UNLOCKED the evil demented pandora's box of my brain. I'm about to be FULLY annoying. TYSM

below are 3 pros and cons of dating my Favorite Boys Ever™

sidenote: if we're talking canon CANON, the fact that both of them are VERY dead is the MAIN and only VALID con. IMO. but I digress!!! for the sake of this list, they are very alive and very smoochable

(under the cut bc DAMN can a bitch talk. and I do not want u all to have to scroll thru a WALL of text of me bein humina humina awooooooga abt my current hyperfixation 💀 ur welcome)

anyways!! this was incredibly fun and I have tmrrw off!! so feel free to send me a character of ur choice for headcanons and I'll give u 3 pros and 3 cons of dating them. if ur so inclined!!!!

jack

3 PROS

man is goofy. GOOFY. he is so intensely unserious. the banter (both flirty or otherise) will be IMMACULATE.

SOLID movie buddy energy. since he's the first one to bring up lon chaney jr./the pentangle on the wall, I like to think he's a hammer horror movie enthusiast. and since we know that the two of them have been friends at least since the 8th grade, I find the idea of these two little dorks staying up late and catching reruns of the movies...........SO cute. so v v cute. jack's little 12-year-old ass insisting that they CAN'T MISS frankenstein meets the wolfman. no, david!! u can't go tf to sleep!! we need the LORE!!!! so anyway. he'd show u a bunch of old horror movies and point out all the weird lil details to u. get ready 2 be mst3k-ing every film. man has cable tv and chill written ALL over him.

knows his way around nyc and WILL take u to a funky lil hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves the best sandwich u have ever had. he might forget his wallet @ his apartment and end up paying for it w/loose change he has stuffed in his jacket pockets, but goddamn was that hot pastrami incredible.

3 CONS

he's 5'7'' (this is also a pro)

a little bit of a whiny bitch. will make a mountain out of a molehill. thrives on melodrama and hyperbole. but he's right 90% of the time, so as annoying as it might be. u can't fault him too much for that

used to being the comic relief friend. chronically friendzoned. probably going 2 be a bit annoying about that. it's kinda difficult to get him to snap out of sarcastic showboat-mode. sometimes that can make him seem a bit ingenuine and detached. mild to severe performance anxiety vibes. once u crest over that. he'll trade any nervousness for comical overconfidence and it'll be off to the races. but in the interim................................lmao

david

3 PROS

SWEET himbo boy. v affectionate and complimentary dude. clear w/his intentions and fairly emotionally open. v much so gives the vibes of a guy who claims to want to have 74873848 flings before settling down........but will immediately fall head-over-heels and want to introduce u to his family. golden retriever boy

canonically!! gives good head. need I say more

has a sense of adventure. likes challenging himself and breaking up the routine. outdoorsy. he probably likes hiking. did track or soccer or smthn in high school. his sheer enthusiasm for GOING OUTSIDE will force u to get ur ass off the damn couch. u love to see it.

3 CONS

v much BIG "first person to die in a traditional horror movie"-vibes. not the best at reading situations. will bamboozle himself into a bad scenario purely bc his street-smarts are sometimes lacking. kinda clueless. it's v hot but also v dumb of him. u would think that growing up in nyc would've tempered some of that. occasionally it does. occasionally. not enough tho.

possible mama's boy/golden child. even if this is NOT true, he still lives at home. which means there WILL be tomfoolery afoot if u stay over @ that house. and VERY little privacy!! get ready for his younger siblings to find the most inconvenient ways to interrupt ur time together. ur patience and mental fortitude will be tested. u will be living in a crash course parent trap/home alone-simulator. have fun!!

u know when u were a kid and ur mom would see someone she knew @ the grocery store and talk w/them for an eternity. and u would just be standing there and waiting for her to END her conversation so that u could LEAVE. yeah. david gives me big "endless conversations in grocery store"-energy. u run into a bodega @ 9 PM to grab some chips and soda w/him. but this is his stomping ground and he somehow manages to run into 3797432989 different ppl who know AND adore him. and they've all got to ask him about how school is going. what's he majoring in again? how's the family? do u still know blah blah blah from blah blah blah? and ur just standin there sipping ur coke. which is rapidly becoming more and more room temperature w/every sip. when will it end. he's been talking about his sixth grade biology class for the last ten minutes

BONUS AND MOST OBVIOUS PROS FOR BOTH OF 'EM:

fluffy hair (x2)

there's two of them. u can and SHOULD date both of them simultaneously. IDEAL throuple situation.

[noys-boise]

Okay with the warning out of the way

This was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING i loved pretty much everything about it

First of all the more surface level plot irrelevant details: MARSHA NON BINARY I REPEAT MARSHA NON BINARY!! The nails!! It's everything to me!!! Also are they and Vee going to be a thing? That would be cute? Although once again, it's a nblw relationship i am still waiting for mlm/nblm rep in this cartoon that's more than Willow's dads who's names they don't even say in the series or Edric and his unnamed they/them date who never actually appear in the show itself (I'm also looking at Gus and Mattolomule. And of course Darius and Alador. Please.)

Also. Amphibia references. I'm a sucker for them.

Now onto actually plot relevant shit:

The egg?? Still didn't hatch?? Will it ever?? Did Luz even take it to the demon realm? Or is Vee going to find it hatched one day?

I'm SO glad we got some backstory for Camila! I've always felt a bit mixed about her because parents showing negative response to their child being neurodivergent is a big trigger for me in media as i found out through the owl house and falsettos, but this way it makes SO much more sense, she was peer pressured into sending Luz to that camp. I'm able to love her way more now. She's best mom.

The boiling isles kids learning spanish with Duolingo was amazing

Hunter and Gus being nerds. And nerding out over something Camilla used to nerd out about. Yes please.

The Azura Hecate lumity cosplay was adorable! Also Luz's Azura obsession came from her dad thanks for the tears.

Soooooo. Flap dead i assume. There's no bringing him back. I would hope so at least. I actually cried real tears at that scene. But he sacrificed himself for Hunter. That was really bittersweet. Also the kids trying to tell Hunter and him already knowing 😭

Willow, Gus and Amity missing their parents was so sad, also bonus point for Amity not including her mom in that. Fuck yes.

Okay now I'm going to breakdown Luz and Hunter a bit more because i feel like they were the true focuses of this episode.

Luz: oh boy this girl sure is full of guilt and trauma. I get why she feels responsible for the showing belos how to get to the collector thing but as Hunter said that's what belos does he manipulates people. He would've done it with someone else if it wasn't Luz. Also her bonding with her mom was adorable. I'm so glad she could use glyphs in the human realm with the titan blood i'm hoping by the end of the series she'll be able to permanently be a witch no matter what dimension she's in.

Hunter: where do i even start on him? He was really finally becoming his own person. Nerding out with Gus, getting a haircut which BY THE WAY is not bad unlike how some people try to frame it i'm glad he can find his own identity more, he also likes sewing it's nice. But then fucking belos. The fact that slipping back into the golden guard role still gives him a sense of comfort is really interesting to me. That emotional breakdown he had when Luz told him he's family may just be one of my favorite Hunter scenes ever. And it's not the only one in this special. And then belos slowly taking over him and bringing out his worst side. That scene where he was talking to Luz with his back turned when they were at the graveyard gave me CHILLS. And then of course him telling belos what he truly wants. My other favorite Hunter scene. It was perfect. And the fact that flapjack is the thing that made him want to take control back over his body. The fact that unlike the others he didn't really have anyone from the boiling isles to miss except maybe Darius. Now he has his loss holly shit. Sidenote: am i the only one who noticed his eyes were brown after Flapjack revived him? I wonder if he's more human now in a way? Or maybe it was just the lighting i dunno.

[gold-rush-into-things]

I Knew You, Tried to Change the Ending (and everything in between)

So what DOES QAnon believe? So glad you asked! They believe that Trump has been planning a “day of reckoning” known as the "Storm," when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested  (they thought this was going to happen on Biden’s inauguration lmao). They also think most Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials are also members of the cabal. You could almost say… It’s all part of the fucking story. (Sidenote: Cabal is a very cool word, I think I would like to be in one someday maybe, one that does not involve cannibalism though). 

The "Storm" became QAnon-speak for an “imminent” event in which thousands of those alleged suspects will be arrested, imprisoned, and executed for being child-eating pedophiles. Perfectly logical, makes total sense. Again, Q’s followers also developed a name for when Q would come to spill, these “Q Drops.”

I put “imminent” in quotes for this reason, here are some of the Q predictions and dates: 

The "Storm" would take place on November 3, 2017. Last I checked Tom Cruise and Hillary Clinton were not publicly executed

That people targeted by the Trump would commit mass suicide on February 10, 2018. No prominent people committed suicide that day, but also like…. wut.

Multiple failed predictions that Mark Zuckerberg would leave Facebook and flee the US. Zuck is still CEO, unfortunately, as of writing this post.

Multiple failed predictions that Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey would be forced to resign. Jack, unfortunately, remains CEO of Twitter, and remains having the ugliest beard I’ve seen.

Ect, ect ect, you get the point.

Finally, like I mentioned earlier, that the "Storm" would take place on January 20, 2021, the day of Biden's inauguration. While I cried a lot that day, none of it was because there were public executions of my queens Kamala, Michelle, Jill, or Hillary. 

BUT, Q soooooooorta got Jeffery Epstien getting arrested for child trafficking right. Even if they were off by a couple of days. But the tiniest victory can give followers a lot of confidence. 

Which leads right into Spade. The first Spade riddle, “♠️ Aug 2018: Karlie will be at the reputation tour in Nashville” was right! I’ve heard TTB didn’t post it until after, which, kinda sketch, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt (undeservedly). This was also very specific, was allowed to be proven true or false, and BAM people are hooked. Again, understandably! 

And, like Q, most Spade riddles just simply did not come true. Such as:

 “♠️ 10.12.2018: However, Karlie will be single and will have rekindled her friendship with Taylor to a suggestive degree.” 

I’m sorry, but it’s been two years, if it was going to happen, it probably would have by now.

There are then a few that Spade followers retrofit into being correct, like about the golden globes and the cloud imagery of Lover. 

But as Spade continued to stop by, it becomes very, very similar to the “Q Drops.” The clues become more and more vague, and people were / are twisting themselves more and more to make them have meaning. A few of personal favorites: 

♠️ 06.25.2019: Why worry, she blooms in June. (This is funny because obvi nothing happened in June, but also, as a gay man, I know all of icon Troye Sivan’s music and he has a song about gay sex called Bloom and that’s all I can ever think about when I read this lol)

♠️ 09.27.2019: The candle flickered, your eyes darted, my heart pounded. (So dramatic, I love it. And can mean anything you want!)

♠️ 07.24.2019: Without judgement or question, she bent to the ground and picked up the pieces. Blood ran from her hands as she cut herself so I could be whole. (This is just bonkers, but it’s also more CAMP than anything Karlie wore to the Met Gala)

My quips aside, all of these literally mean nothing. And so many of them, especially ones that people retrofit to claim were a hint, were things the general fandom already knew. Such as, “Darling, in the midst of this cruel summer I re-read your love letters…” People lost their mind after the tracklist came out, thinking that Cruel Summer had been revealed by Spade weeks earlier. But at that point the tracklist had already been leaked by Secret Sessioners, AND Taylor hinted at it in the YNTCD video and that weird Amazon commercial. 

But, much like Q followers, and the appeal of the possibility of being involved in something historic (the world’s biggest popstar is in a secret lesbian relationship!!), people are sucked in and it becomes harder to question things — like that Kaylor could possibly be over. 

Another similarity, and one that is a major red flag, is the consistent moving of the goalposts that TTB, Spade, and TCG all played a part in. 

You can see this in the aforementioned Spade riddles about them becoming “friends again” in 2018, “She blooms in June,” and their “Ides of March” post — nothing of note has happened in any preceding March. TCG and her posting about “The Gay Agenda” plan for them to come out which kept getting pushed back. And TTB posting every six months or so that the “contract is ending” regarding Karlie and Josh. So, much like “The Storm,” these big, earth shattering events keep getting predicted, but don’t actually happen. 

Whenever I read about Q followers and the depths that they believe that people in Hollywood and politics are involved in this elite cabal, the first thing I think about is Kaylors’ mantra of “it’s all part of the fucking story.”** Much like how Q followers use “Trust the plan” as comfort when things don’t work out as predicted. 

**For reference: Taylor went out with friends in 2016 (including Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delivinge) to a NYC restaurant and someone, assumed to be one of them, wrote “It’s all part of the fucking story” on the paper table cloth. 

This is repeated in the Kaylor fandom as a message that everything Taylor does publicly, is simply that, part of the story. I specifically remember TTB was sharing theories connecting Hayley Williams’ lead single’s music video in 2019 to Taylor, due to a sound at the end of it (which I unfortunately can’t link, since her blog is gone), recently I saw Spade-Riddles sharing Selena Gomez’s recent Insta post because it had oranges in it (implying it’s tied to the YNTCD girl), and these examples could go on and on. While I wish the world DID revolve around Taylor Swift, unfortunately it doesn’t and every person Taylor has ever come in contact with just isn’t droppeing clues about her being queer in THEIR art.

NEXT POST: Shade Never Made Anyone (even Josh Kushner) Gay

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Manga vs Anime: Episode 25 “To Karafuto”

So the new series as started and this time I won’t just ramble about it but also compare it to the manga.

So let’s start with Ep 1 of the 3rd series�� which is the 25 Golden Kamuy animated episode.

Some data first.

This episode last 23:40 minutes. There’s no opening, or better what will become the opening song for the series is used as ending. The episode covers the last panel of chap 139 and 4 other chapters of the manga, chap 140, 141, 142 & 143 for a total of around 70 pages (I’m discounting the covers) basically ending Volume 14 and the first part of Vol 15.

The episode is titled ‘To Karafuto’, which is actually the title of chap 139, chap 140 being ‘An Ainu girl’, chap 141 being ‘Karafuto Ainu’, chap 142 being ‘The village of resident Russians’ and chap 143 being ‘Stenka’.

And now into the anime.

INTRO

Manga: We see the boat approaching Karafuto and someone saying they’re arriving.

Anime: We get some bits from Ep 24 as some sort of preview. Wilk says to Sugimoto it wasn’t him who killed the Ainu then starts asking him to tell something to Asirpa about the gold when he’s shoot. Sugimoto hurries to use Wilk body to cover himself but he’s shoot as well. Asirpa, on top of a roof, screams his name then everything goes dark. We then see Sugimoto holding Asirpa’s menomakiri. A porthole shows the sea as Sugimoto, inside a boat, is sitting on a hammock. The door opens to show Tsukishima, telling him they’re there. Gulls fly on the sky. On the bridge of the boat we can see Koito Heiji, his son, Tanigaki and some other sailors. Then, we see Sugimoto also standing there, Tsukishima behind him as the boat approaches Karafuto.

My two cents: Although I’ve included that one panel of the manga as correspondent to this whole scene in the anime, you might say this anime scene was created for the anime to introduce the new series, showing the important elements that’s relevant we remember, like Wilk’s death, Sugimoto getting shoot, Sugimoto having Asirpa’s Menomakiri and travelling to Karafuto with Koito, Tsukishima and Tanigaki. At first I was a bit displeased to see the story start with recycled footage from the last episode but we start with new footage almost immediately and I’ll say the idea to create this scene to introduce like this the situation we’re in is good, considering the long pause the anime took. There’s no really equivalent in the manga, the most we get is a panel showing the boat and saying they’re reaching Karafuto. I’ll be honest and I’ll say I was worried they would start from the dumb dream that showed Asirpa and Sugimoto’s magical mental connection at the end of ep 24. That one wasn’t a great idea, especially considering Asirpa doesn’t believe in dreams so I’m glad the anime pretended it didn’t take place. Now, while I praise this idea I’ll be honest and say it also causes a continuity problem because a ferry, who’s much slower than the boat Sugimoto is on, takes three hours to go from Hokkaido to Karafuto. Sugimoto, in ep 24, was shown on the bridge of the boat, about to reach destination. The fact he went inside and needed to be called by Tsukishima feels a bit weird. Whatever, it’s not a big deal and maybe no one remember how Ep 24 ended after all this time. On another side the anime couldn’t help but put a great remark on Sugimoto. The way the camera zoom on him as he’s on the bridge, as well as how all the other characters seem to stand behind him, really gives the impression he’s the leader. Whatever, it’s no big deal and it gives a certain atmosphere so okay, so far it’s good.

CHAPTER 139 ENDS HERE.

THE GOLDEN KAMUY WRITING IS SHOWN HERE

THE BOYS ARE IN ODOMARI

Manga & Anime: Tanigaki comments how they got there quickly. We get some info about Karafuto before Tanigaki says there are good chance Kiro and the others also went there. Tsukishima tells Koito he can’t carry with himself all his luggage, Koito protest when a case opens suddenly, showing Cikapasi and Ryu. It’s decided the two of them will remain with then, under Tanigaki’s responsibility.

There are just some minor differences:

- In the anime we see Tanigaki pulling out Cikapasi from the case and rest his hands on Cikapasi’s shoulders. Nothing of the sort happen in the manga where Cikapasi’s nose, differently from the anime, was running.

- In the anime Tanigaki frowns when Cikapasi says he doesn’t have a home/a place to return. In the manga this isn’t included.

- In the manga when Tsukishima says that he doesn’t plan to babysit more children, Koito is looking at him from behind him and Tsukisihima seems to be about to go in the opposite direction to the one Koito is looking at. In the anime they’re both staring at Cikapasi, Koito in front of Tsukishima, turning toward Tsukishima as the latter finished speaking.

- In the manga after Tsukishima says that he doesn’t plan to babysit more children he immediately adds that Cikapasi is Tanigaki’s responsibility. Sugimoto then says that he doesn’t know about Cikapasi but Ryu helped them often. In the anime when Tsukishima says he doesn’t plan to babysit more children, Sugimoto replies that Ryu helped them often so they should carry him with them. Tanigaki then says than in Karafuto there should be Ainu so Cikapasi could be useful as well. Cikapasi smiles at that and Tsukishima says Tanigaki will have to take responsibility for them.

My two cents: It’s not bad. Although there aren’t all the close up of the manga, expressions are visible and well cared enough and I’ve to say I also like many anime choices, like showing Tanigaki walking next to Sugimoto when he says Kiro could have gotten there, showing that Tanigaki feels closer to him in this hunt than to Tsukishima and Koito. Koito’s reaction to the idea of leaving behind his cases is a little over the top in the anime and this bit is overall weak but can work. I like his face when he sees Cikapasi and Ryu. I love how Tanigaki runs to where Cikapasi is, how he pulls him out of the case, kneel next to him and hold his hands on Cikapasi’s shoulders. I also love how he suggests Cikapasi can be useful. In the anime Tanigaki seems to care much more for Cikapasi than in the manga where Tanigaki is just there, saying nothing and being entrusted Cikapasi. Koito’s expression when Tsukishima says he won’t babysit any more kids is fun. On another note though, while in the manga it seemed Tsukishima just discharged Cikapasi to Tanigaki, here it seems more likes he surrendered to Tanigaki’s wish to keep Cikapasi. On a sidenote though I found the music completely unfitting for such a scene. It had something… tense, mysterious, that seemed to make the moment more important than it was.

THIS IS WHEN WE’RE SHOWN THE TITLE OF THE EPISODE

SEARCHING THROUGH THE CITY

Manga & Anime: Sugimoto suggests asking around in the city and starts showing a photo, thinking it’s Asirpa’s and asking people if they saw her. It’s Tanigaki’s photo though. Tsukishima and Tanigaki also asks around and Sugimoto wonders if Inkarmat’s info was correct and Asirpa really came to Karafuto. Tsukishima then realizes they’ve lost Koito. Turns out Koito is in a shop, trying Hurep wine. Tsukishima scolds him for leaving them with no result. Sugimoto insults him and Koito tosses Hurep on him. Sugimoto throws him a glass and the two start fighting. The woman in the shop notices Cikapasi and points out he’s the second Ainu kid she saw that day. Sugimoto thinks the kid she saw could be Asirpa and shows him her photo. The woman claims it’s her and that she just left to go back to the Ainu village.

There are just some minor differences:

- In the manga Sugimoto comments on how the fact in Karafuto is snowing a month earlier than in Hokkaido means the winter is longer and colder there. In the anime this is cut.

- In the manga when Tsukishima finds Koito he sighs and he’s sweating a little. No such thing happens in the anime.

- In the manga when Sugimoto jumps on Koito, Koito’s face is well visible and it’s clear Tsukishima is trying to part them. In the anime we can’t see Koito’s face  and it’s not so clear what Tsukishima is doing. Kotio’s face becomes visible and it’s clear Tsukishima is parting them only when the woman says she saw another Ainu child, making it seems as if Tsukishima decided for parting them and Koito stood more upward just due to this.

My two cents: Somehow I don’t particularly like Koito’s expressions. They’re similar to the manga but they don’t seem to deliver the same nuance. Mind you, the anime shows the expressions so it’s not so bad and it can be they’ll improve them for the dvd release but for now they feel slightly off. Still, the more the story goes on, the more I feel they hadn’t nailed Koito. Maybe that’s why because he had a too little role in the previous series and the animators just don’t know what to do with him but his funny moment just don’t deliver the same vibe, nor does his behaviour as bonbon.

CHASING ASIRPA

Manga & Anime: The group runs out of the shop, in the direction Asirpa supposedly took. They met a Russian person who points then to a direction an Ainu girl just took, warning them that she went into the wood where there are bears and an animal more dangerous than them. They run there to search for her but find Enonoka and realize the woman mistook her for Asirpa. Cikapasi asks her why she’s there and Enonoka explains it, albeit not in perfect Japanese. Koito translates her words better. Enonoka then claims she met a young Ainu girl from Hokkaido

There are just some minor differences:

- In the manga, although it’ll become clear the others run in search of Asirpa too, at first we see only Sugimoto doing so, in the anime we see all them doing so, Sugimoto leading, second Tsukishima, then Tanigaki and after Koito. However, in the following scenes that shows Sugimoto running we see no one behind him, not when the image is frontal nor when the camera is behind him.

- In the manga we don’t know who talked about the Ainu village being distant but in the anime it’s Tsukishima.

- The manga merely shows Sugimoto surprised Tsukishima can speak Russian, in the anime, probably knowing showing emotions isn’t their strength, they have him also comment on it.

- The manga explains the situation of Russian people in Karafuto. The anime prefers to show us a bit of Tsukishima and the Russian man’s dialogue.

- The manga showed Sugimoto from behind as he called Asirpa while the anime preferred to focus on his very worried expression.

- When Tanigaki says he has found child footsteps in the manga Sugimoto turns in the direction Tanigaki is pointing and sees Enonoka. In the anime he runs desperately until he finds Enonoka.

- In the manga, after Sugimoto turns because he saw someone (Enonoka), we get a full page with Enonoka turning, her pose hinting she did so in mid movement as she likely was chasing after he grandfather. In the anime Enonoka is standing still and when she turn a lot of emphasis is put on the move as there’s a lot of shining around her.

- In the manga Sugimoto is immediately disappointed to see Enonoka isn’t Asirpa. In the anime he first seems surprised then disappointed.

- In the manga Enonoka is serious as she explains why she’s there. In the anime she starts serious but then starts smiling.

My two cents: The anime keeps on showing Koito running behind all them which makes no sense considering he’s the fastest runner.

While it’s good the anime focuses on expressions and it’s nice to see Sugimoto so worried for Asirpa when he thinks she’s in the wood, in a way it doesn’t really make sense as Sugimoto knows she’s a hunter and trusts her ability as hunter. From the emphasis they put on Sugimoto’s worry for Asirpa, even showing him running in slow motion to remark his effort as we hear him panting hard, it seems he’s searching just a defenceless little girl, not the girl he trusts to be able to take care of a bear on her own. The shining lights around Enonoka and Enonoka only are a bit weird, they seem the special effect you use in shojo anime to introduce the heroine. I stand my case, somehow Koito gives me a different vibe than in the manga but maybe it’s just me. I’ll say I appreciated the anime new trend to show expressions, for example when Tsukishima says the bear is being strange we can see Sugimoto’s expression as he notices the bear is bleeding.

ENTER THE WOLVERINE

Manga & Anime: Enonoka tells Cikapasi she met a young Ainu girl from Hokkaido. Sugimoto would like to ask her if she’s Asirpa but Ryu starts barking and they notice he’s looking at a bear, which is acting strange. A small animal fell off the bear. It’s a wolverine which attack Koito.

There are just some minor differences:

- In the manga when Enonoka says she met a Hokkaido Ainu girl, both Tsukishima and Sugimoto grow interested, Sugimoto showing her Asirpa’s photo. Then Ryu starts barking and Tanigaki turns. In the anime Sugimoto is the one who shows interest while Tsukishima is the one who turns as he hears Ryu barking.

- In the manga, after they noticed the bear, we can see Tsukishima preparing his rifle as he says to get the children behind them, then the bear, then Sugimoto and Tsukishima pointing their rifle at it, Sugimoto ready at shooting at it. In the anime, after they noticed the bear, we can see Tsukishima and Sugimoto pointing their rifles at it as Tsukishima says to get the children behind them, then Tanigaki, rifle lowered, moving in front of Cikapasi who’s in front of Enonoka, then the bear, then Sugimoto and Tsukishima pointing their rifle at it, Sugimoto not really taking aim as he did in the manga.

- In the manga Koito looks mocking when he says the wolverine seems weak in the anime disappointed.

My two cents: It’s actually bad when Tanigaki places himself in front of the children but keep his rifle lowered, clearly not ready to shoot and he still has his rifle lowered when the wolverine, which clearly was attacking the bear, falls near Koito.

In the manga it’s implied Tanigaki had his rifle ready to fire when the bear was around, although he raised it when the bear escaped. Although in the anime Sugimoto looks surprised when he realizes it was the wolverine which attacked the bear, in the manga this is a lot more visible. Tsukishima also seems a lot more alert in the manga than in the anime. Again, maybe it’s just me but I keep on getting a different vibe from Koito than the one I got in the manga.

CHAPTER 140 ENDS HERE.

ESCAPING THE WOLVERINE

Manga & Anime: We get some explanation about which animal is the one they met. Tsukishima kicks the wolverine away, tries to shoot it but fails. The wolverine tries to attack Enonoka but Cikapasi protects her and Sugimoto rips the wolverine away from him before it could bite Cikapasi. He then entrusts the kids to Tanigaki claiming the girls has info on Asirpa. Afterward he tosses the wolverine but Tsukishima fails again to hit it. The group escapes, chased by the wolverine. Sugimoto fails on shooting it when Enonoka’s grandfather arrives and they climb on his sled, managing to distance the wolverine. However the old man said they’re too heavy and so Sugimoto  tosses Tanigaki off the sled.

There are just some minor differences:

- In the manga explanations include the differences between animals in Karafuto and Hokkaido. This is cut in the anime. Explanations about the wolverine are also shorter.

- In the manga it seems the wolverine is biting Koito’s back, in the anime, even though there’s blood, it’s clear the wolverine is biting Koito’s coat while on Koito’s back.

- In the manga it’s clear Tanigaki grabbed the children. In the anime it seems the children were pushed against him, which is not possible as Sugimoto was holding the wolverine right then. So maybe it’s just me.

- In the manga the sled doesn’t stop to pick them up but they climb on it while it’s running. In the anime they stop it.

- In the manga isn’t clear if it’s Koito’s words about him having gotten fast or Sugimoto’s groping who caused Tanigaki to flush while in the anime it’s clear it’s Sugimoto groping.

- In the manga when Tanigaki is tossed off the sled his buttocks jiggle, in an attempt to make the scene funny. The anime who’s still playing a dramatic music instead freeze the scene, with Koito saying ‘Tanigaki first class’ after a pause as if attempting to make it dramatic… for humoristic purpose.

My two cents: The anime has previously depicted Tanigaki close to the kids, which wasn’t in the manga. Now it plays the scene of the wolverine’s attack to Enonoka as it’s in the manga, in which Tanigaki was nowhere to be seen… but as in the anime we know he’s near them, it makes him look worthless when Enonoka is protected by Cikapasi and Cikapasi by Sugimoto without Tanigaki doing nothing but receiving the kids from Sugimoto. After Sugimoto fires and misses for some reason the anime decides to show they have ALL stopped running, which is dumb, especially considering the wolverine is running toward them and Tanigaki is even giving it his back.

In the anime the fact the characters first and the sled after, stop running is particularly bad because the wolverine, which in the anime is also defined fast, should have reached them at that point and instead it doesn’t. While I can’t really say I found the scene of tossing Tanigaki off the sled fun in the manga, it impresses me even less in the anime but maybe it’s just me. And again Koito feels a bit off to me.

ABASHIRI

THIS PART DOESN’T EXIST IN THE MANGA

Anime: At the Abashiri hospital Usami informs Tsurumi they couldn’t find Hijikata’s group nor corpses resembling them.

Tsurumi is brushing a tattooed skin against his cheek, the other on display on a bed. Tsurumi comments Hijikata is a tough old man but there’s no hurry as Hijikata will show up.

The scene switches and we see Hijikata’s group (Toni still unconscious on Ushiyama’s back and Kadokura with his arm bandaged) reaching Nagakura.

Nagakura is happy to see Hijikata is still alive...

...as he feared he died but hoped that, if the latter where to be alive, he would have hid in the place in which Inudou hid Nopperabou so he’d been keeping an eye on the lecture hall each day. Hijikata says they’ve info on the prisoners so they would head to Kushiro. Kadokura turns to Abashiri to point out that prisoners and guards are all dead and wonders if the gold was worth all this.

Hijikata says it’s not the gold they want but what lies beyond it. And the same is true for the others and that everyone believes what the others are doing is right.

At this we’re shown an image of Tsurumi looking at the skins greedily and of the Karafuto group, Tanigaki still chasing the sled.

My two cents: The idea of the scene is good, the fact Usami is so far from the camera as he speaks we can’t even see it’s him, it’s not. Luckily they show his face and Tsurumi short after. The scene of Tanigaki running after the sled is horrible. Anyway, the scene with Tsurumi rubbing himself against the skins is likely partly inspired to when, in chap 139, Tsurumi was rubbing himself against the tattooed skins, albeit since he has done it in ep 24 too, I find useless to show it here as it seems to imply he kept on doing that for days. It was much better if he were studying the skins. On the other side the rest of whole bit, plot wise, is a very good addition. I was genuinely displeased the manga skipped this so that it didn’t seem like Tsurumi searched for Hijikata, and the moment of the reunion between Hijikata and Nagakura was also completely skipped so we moved on them being together abruptly when they show up in Kushiro. Also I take their mention of Kushiro means the anime might show the Youichirou arc and not skip it altogether. Let’s hope so. Also the colouring in the scene is nice, I love the sunset.

THE ANIME PLACES HERE AN EYECATCH

THE AINU VILLAGE

Manga and anime: We get some explanation about Ainu, and, more specifically, about Karafuto Ainu. Koito’s wound gets treated. Enonoka asks Cikapasi his name and tells him her own. At Sugimoto claiming they could have named Enonoka differently, she says the Ainu girl that came from Hokkaido also are hurep at their house. She recognizes Asirpa and tells Sugimoto she was with three men. She confirms to Tanigaki Kiro was one of them and that he said they were heading north. Sugimoto asks if Asirpa was well and Enonoka says she was very sad and silent but she ate the hurep they served. Sugimoto tries it too. Enonoka says eating the hurep cheered Asirpa up and she smiled and said ‘hinna’. Sugimoto says this means it’s Asirpa for sure and that now they’re sure she came to Karafuto.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga the scene starts with Tanigaki being already at the village, seated on the ground and panting. In the anime we see him walking, coming to a stop and sitting down, looking much more worn out than in the manga.

- In the manga, when the old man put bear fat on Koito’s wound we can’t see Koito’s back and therefore e can’t see his wound. In the anime we can… but there’s no wound.

- In the manga Kiro’s face is partially darkened (not that it can be seen wella s Kiro is giving us his back) while in the anime it’s in full light (even though Kiro keeps on giving us his back).

My two cents: It’s not bad. While certain scenes could have benefitted of showing close up of the characters, it more or less transposes everything faithfully

KIRORANKE’S DESTINATION

THIS PART DOESN’T EXIST IN THE MANGA

Anime: This scene is supposedly a continuation of the previous in which Enonoka reports her grandfather says the Ainu girl and the men were asking about the Russian village near their own. At this Sugimoto and Tanigaki turns toward the old man who nods. Koito and Tsukishima exchange a glance and the same happens to Sugimoto and Tanigaki before they nod to each other. We then see the roof of the house, the sky showing us Night has fallen.

My two cents: In the manga we learnt this by a discussion the boys had the morning after while the anime preferred to insert it here. The idea wouldn’t be bad… it could actually be very good… but the execution is poor. The transition from the previous scene is horrible, they tries to avoid having us hear the old man talking in Ainu by skipping to Asirpa translating his words, but it’s just too abrupt and you have to reason to understand she’s translating and not merely continuing the previous conversation. So, while I praise the idea, I hope the anime will handle it better in the future.

CHAPTER 141 ENDS HERE.

HIRING ENONOKA’S GRANDFATHER

Manga & Anime: Koito negotiate with Enonoka to hire her grandfather and his sleds.

My two cents: In the manga it works to keep Enonoka and Koito silent but in the anime it just feels weird we don’t hear their voice. While Cikapasi singing is also present in the manga, in the anime his scene feels abrupt and a waste of time.

THE RUSSIAN VILLAGE

Manga and anime: The group travels to the Russian village. Tsukishima warns them about how the Russians there could be criminals. In the bar Tsukishima asks if people had seen Kiroranke. A drunken Russian tells them to leave. Sugimoto claims he doesn’t understand what he’s saying and tells Tsukishima to tell him if he touches him, he’ll knock him down. The Russian tries to attack Sugimoto and, ultimately, is knocked down. The boy leave the bar, Sugimoto claiming the place is worthless.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga we get explanations about dog sleds and ethnic groups using them. In the anime this is cut.

- In the manga, once they arrived to the village, Enonoka would tell them her grandfather said Asirpa’s group asked about the village they’re in. This is cut in the anime as they added a scene of them in Enonoka’s house discussing this.

- In the manga, the group listen to Tsukishima standing still. In the anime they move toward the bar as Tsukishima talks.

- In the manga Tsukishima’s face darkens when the Russian guy asks him why Japanese soldiers are in their village. In the anime he also lowers his head, seeming even more annoyed than the manga.

- In the manga the impression is that the Russian guy has moved closer to Sugimoto. In the anime is clear he has moved closer to Tsukishima and Sugimoto had gotten in between the two.

- In the manga the scene seems faster, as we have the impression Sugimoto immediately puched the guy as the other grabbed him. In the anime the scene is slower as the guy grabs him, the camera pans on Sugimoto who frowns and then punches him.

- In the manga Sugimoto is leading the group when they leave, Tanigaki looking behind worriedly and Tsukishima and Koito walking while frowning. In the anime, although Sugimoto is still walking ahead the others are just following him calmly, as if nothing had happened.

My two cents: Honestly I don’t particularly like the anime choice of having Sugimoto getting in between Tsukishima and the Russian. In the manga it made sense he would tell Tsukishima to tell him not to touch him or he’ll beat him because the Russian seemed to plan to attack him but in the anime it seems Sugimoto has gotten in between to protect Tsukishima and, with his words, he’s challenging the other to touch him. Also slowing the start of the fight, while giving more emphasis to Sugimoto at the same time make him look more violent. In the manga the quick scene seems to tell us that Sugimoto just reacted fast so as not to be attacked. As in the anime the Russian didn’t immediately attack him but just grabbed him, Sugimoto seems to be overreacting. The idea of also having the group walk away calmly makes the scene underwhelming and cold.

THE DOG STEALING

Manga and anime: As the group wonder why Kiroranke came there Enonoka reaches them complaining their dog was stolen. She explains what had happened and we get an explanation about sled dogs. The Russian guy who distracted Enonoka and her grandfather shows up and tell them to come with him.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga Enonoka seems to run as fast as she can seriously, in the anime it seems more a humoristic scene.

- In the manga when Enonoka explains what happens we can see her grandfather is distressed. The same isn’t true for the anime where the scene is shown from afar and with the camera above them.

- In the manga the explanation about the Isohseta is in a box. In the anime Tanigaki asks what an Isohseta is and Tsukishima explains him, giving him a much more summarized explanation than the manga.

My two cents: The lack of expression of Enonoka’s grandfather is a real annoyance in the anime. The poor guy is just a background figure.

BACK TO THE BAR

Manga & Anime: The owner of the bar claims if they want the dog back they’ve to join the stenka. It turns out that the man Sugimoto punched should have taken part to it but with a swollen eye can’t anymore so he wants Sugimoto to take his place. Sugimoto says he doesn’t care and wants to threaten him and the same goes for Koito. Tsukishima though claims he can’t translate their complicate sentences. The Russian guy tell them he knows Kiroranke and the others were searching for a tattooed man who came from Hokkaido and the tattooed guy might show up to the stenka. Sugimoto comments this means the tattooed prisoners have found their way to Karafuto.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga when the Russian man tell them about Kiro his dialogue is at first untranslated, and we can only see Tsukishima’s surprised face before hearing him translate it. In the anime they subtitled it.

- In the manga Tanigaki sweats as he comments that’s why Kiro came there. In the anime he does not.

My two cents: Honestly, subtitling what the Russian guy said takes away the surprise of hearing it from Tsukishima, making the scene more flat and since they left the part in which Tsukishima translate all that the guy is saying, it’s a bit useless.

THE STENKA

Manga & Anime: The Russian takes them to the place in which the stenka is taking place. The guys still don’t know what it is and, once shown, we’re surprised. We get some explanations on how this is a traditional Russian sport.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga Sugimoto decides they’ve no choice but join it, albeit Tsukishima is surprised by his saying ‘we’. In the anime there’s no such scene as the guys will express their disagreement in taking part to it later.

My two cents: When the anime shows people fighting, he recycles some scenes. This is not so great. On a more positive note I somehow like the colouring of the scene. Also I’m fine with cutting the part of Sugimoto saying they’ve to take part to it and Tsukishima being surprised by the ‘we’ because it will be discussed later, both in the manga and in the anime so in the anime it would become redundant.

CHAPTER 142 ENDS HERE.

ACCEPTING TO JOIN THE STENKA

Manga and anime: Tsukishima translates the info the man gave them about the stenka and how the man who first started gambling on it was the Japanese man with the tattoo. The Russian man says the man isn’t there yet and only comes to fight strong people so he won’t show up if there aren’t adversaries he likes. Sugimoto says then they’ll have to join the stenka and draw him into a match. Koito and Tanigaki points on how Kiro’s group gave up on him but Sugimoto insists, saying it will be a pain if they let such a guy escape so he wants them to take part to the stenka. Tsukishima and the others express their disagreement but then the Russian guy says he only wants Sugimoto to fight in the stenka because he thinks Japanese, apart from Sugimoto, are weak, which fires up Koito, Tanigaki and Tsukishima’s fighting spirit.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga, when explanations are given we see the men fighting. In the anime we see Gansoku moving close to the place.

- In the manga Sugimoto asks if the tattooed Japanese is there, Tsukishima translates his question for him and the Russian shakes his head. As the manga shows people fighting, it’s implied the Russian said to Tsukishima what Tsukishima then said, making Tsukishima’s words a translation. In the anime Sugimoto makes his question, the Russian shakes his head and Tsukishima explains the guy only fight the strong.

My two cents: This is transposed faithfully enough and I love how they made Sugimoto’s voice sound muffled due to the skewer going through his cheeks. Not translating Sugimoto’s words give the impression the Russian understand Japanese. We can stretch thing and assume he told Tsukishima before , what Tsukishima will reply but still the scene isn’t that good. Although in the scene in which they’re drawn Nihei and Henmi’s pose are similar to the one in the manga, in the anime it seems more like they’re together, with Henmi watching Nihei as if they were some sort of friends. That’s just weird. Also I don’t see why there’s this weird obsession of showing scene from above instead than from a frontal position. It really doesn’t improve things if we can see the top of the characters’ head and their expressions come as less visible in this way.

THE STENKA

Manga and anime: Sugimoto’s group take part to the stenka. A Russian player makes fun of Tsukishima due to his short height. Sugimoto’s group tells us what the stenka is for them. They fight and win, watched by Gansoku. Sugimoto’s group win the stenka and Tsukishima helps the Russian to get up. As people cheer on them Sugimoto notices Gansoku looking at them.

There are minor cuts and changes:

- In the manga the panels show the boys together, then we get two panels placing more focus on Tsukishima first and Koito after, as we never saw them without clothes. In the anime they pan on all the bodies equally, starting with Sugimoto, then Tsukishima, Tanigaki and, at last, Koito.

- In the manga as the boys fight we also learn what is the stenka for Gansoku and we get a flashback about his past. This is cut in the anime but it will probably included in the next episode.

My two cents: The music gives a very odd atmosphere to the scene in which the boy tell their expectations for the stenka but it’s fine. On a sidenote I’ll say the anime is doing action scenes much better now, compared to the previous series. When the 7th division attacked Abashiri and had to fight the convict they used a lot of still frames while here the fight is thankfully animated. This is a clear improvement. Gansoku is depicted in a more mysterious manner in the anime as we can’t see his eyes for most of the story and get to see them only at the end of the episode.

TO SUM IT ALL

Well, if I’ve to compare this first episode to the previous series there are a lot of improvements. Sure, the musical background should be improved and, more importantly, used better, they should film the character more often form a frontal position, with a decent close up instead than from above or from a distance but there are much more close up and much more attention to expressions, there are action scenes instead than still images and most of the added scenes were a great idea. The story flows, for the most of it, smooth enough (except in a couple of points) and while I still perceive Koito’s transposition as odd well, it might be just me. Overall it’s a good start for the third series and I hope the rest of the episodes will keep up with it and even improve.

[thequibblah]

notes on chapter 22: lily of the valley

ft. a longer playlist and snapshots of the evans household, ooh! here be spoilers, so don’t read until after you’ve read the chapter.

PLAYLIST.

i. wondergirl

“lily of the valley,” queen, sheer heart attack — this is IT, the lily song that isn’t “golden slumbers” by the beatles, and what a song it is. “baby you’ve been had,” and the guitar fading into piano, chef’s kiss, it just IS lily thinking about how unfair it is that her mother is ill, how lost and uncertain the future seems now... chills. thank you freddie mercury.

“seven,” taylor swift, folklore — you can tell how long ago i actually started drafting this chapter, lol, because “seven” was a big influence. it is one of three songs that i listen to when i want the petunia and lily feels to absolutely punch me in the gut (you will know what the other ones are later...)

“mirrorball,” taylor swift, folklore — maybe a hot take but “mirrorball” is the most my!lily song on this album. with her family she is “still on that tightrope,” trying so hard to live up to those magical expectations, never realising that they’re higher in her head than anywhere else. and “hush, i know they said the end is near” i’m sorry doris i���m sad now

ii. stand by me

“stand by me,” ben e. king, don’t play that song — self-explanatory, isn’t it? 

“shine on you crazy diamond (pts. 6 - 9),” pink floyd, wish you were here — somewhat happy vibes for this somewhat happy section...

“birds,” kate nash, made of bricks — you know which bit this applies to, don’t you :~)

iii. carry that weight

“carry that weight,” the beatles, abbey road — in a world in which my cinematographic opinion on this scene matters, it would open to soft audio of kitchenware clinking, the sisters going to check on doris, and then muffled shouting, panicking, DRUM INTRO cue “carry that weight” and the trumpet fanfare instrumental bit would return after dex says i love you, zoom out to the hogwarts express, cut to black

“savior complex,” phoebe bridgers, graceland too — sidenote, of all the albums that have come out in the end times as we know it, this one is maybe? top two? (the other being the new haim) anyway, i wrote the section with lily swinging because while i was on vacation i sat on a swing i was too old for (much after i’d got off i saw the sign that said 15 and under) and absolutely had a near-spiritual experience swinging away for ten minutes. like, really, swinging is so magical and perfect and doing it as an adult makes you feel like a child but also so aware of your distance from childhood which was how i knew lily had to go on a swing. so, anyway, then i came back from vacation wishing i had a swingset at home to remind myself of that feeling so i could capture it just right in the chapter. listening to “savior complex” was the best substitute and YES i cried. what of it.

“cheated hearts,” yeah yeah yeahs, show your bones — what lily thinks happened and her flashback scene with dex was written to this song.

COKEWORTH.

as i mentioned in the ao3 endnotes, i based the layout of the evans household on the larger, more upmarket two-up, two-down discussed in madasafish’s amazing “spinner’s end” essay. (incidentally, i also write cokeworth to be in the midlands, as this conclusion suggests, and sheffield is the closest city to my cokeworth. which says a lot about lily’s accent...)

but then i decided to go over the top because i’ve never not been over the top, and i designed the evans a little home! now, all the furniture is ikea LMAO so i just had to eye-test what felt most period-appropriate. petunia technically does not live in cokeworth anymore, but visits often enough that her room remains furnished. 

god, the dimensions of this gave me grief. why are ikea beds so big?? don’t they realise some of us are trying to furnish fictional middle class houses in the 70s??

anyway. top floor:

ground floor:

see more detail here and here. 

anyway, i can’t believe i went to all that trouble (and believe me, that app is trouble) only to move the girls out of the house. you know what that means... i have to do a new one for petunia’s london home!

[yoyo-inspace]

Mmmm... Top 5 hdm scenes!

all of them

Alright so there are tons of scenes in the entire trilogy that mean so much to me or that I find funny or horrifying or thrilling, etc. Had to narrow it down somehow. So I sort of settled for “scenes that stayed with me” after like, the first or second time I read the trilogy. Those that really etched their way into my head from when I was quite young. They don’t come in particular order though. I noticed going through it after I’d written it that there’s definitely a heavy bias towards moments in TAS, which I think is fair enough considering that’s the book I read last, when I was most mature, and it also has the culmination of a lot of stories - those moments wouldn’t have been half as impactful if they didn’t have the storytelling in the other books to lean on. 

This got longer than I thought, but that’s generally what happens when I talk HDM. Also, obvious SPOILER WARNING for anyone who haven’t read the trilogy. 

1. Lyra finding Tony Makarios in the shed.God, this scene. The build-up for it is amazing and absolutely chilling. There’s been build-up all throughout the book to what the Gobblers are actually doing. We get closer and closer to it. And then this chapter happens. The slow approach to the shed, the ominous but vague warnings from the alethiometer, the stories from the town’s people. You can really feel the dread creeping up on you. And then that last paragraph hits you.

The little boy was huddled against the wood drying-rack where hung row upon row of gutted fish, all as stuff as boards. He was clutching a piece of fish to him as Lyra was clutching Pantalaimon, with both hands, hard, against her heart; but that was all he had, a piece of dried fish; because he had no daemon at all. The Gobblers had cut it away. That was intercession, and this was a severed child.

It honestly gives me shivers every time. Nearly tear up reading it. I think it’s one of the best examples of how brilliant Pullman’s world-building is (and I do think his world-building is the strongest aspect of NL/TGC). I honestly don’t think this will be as strong in the tv show (and the movie really didn’t do it justice) - though I hope it’ll be horrifying - and that is because in a visual medium, we won’t get the horror and insight into Lyra’s mind that we have in the book. That’s okay, some things just fit better in the written medium, and I think this moment is going to be one of them. Lyra’s internal struggle with how to be brave is so good, and I hope they manage to portray a little bit of it on screen. 

2. Roger leaving the land of the deadIf I tear up every time I read the Tony Makarios scene, this is the scene where I bawl. Literally, I started crying while writing the passage down. The entire sequence in the Land of the Dead is intriguing to me, and Lyra telling the ghosts of what will happen to them is beautiful, and the struggle to get there is painful. And then they get there. And Will opens the window and they’re all crowding, afraid and yet excited to be out of that horrible place. And then a little ghost of a boy, the boy who was the reason Lyra set out on this journey to begin with, takes a step forward. 

The first ghost to leave the world of the dead was Roger. He took a step forward, and turned to look back at Lyra, and laughed in surprise as he found himself turning into the night, the starlight, the air… and then he was gone, leaving behind such a vivid little burst of happiness that Will was reminded of the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

That specific phrasing, the description of happiness as “the bubbles in a glass of champagne” has stuck with me for so long. It’s one I keep coming back to. 

3. Lyra leaving Pan Don’t have much to say about this other than I still have such a vivid image in my head from when my dad first read that passage to me, of how I remembered it all to look, of what I felt at the time. Especially my shock at the call-back to Lyra’s betrayal. Again, a scene that in several layers is strengthened by the world-building. We’ve been so convinced at this point how painful it is to leave your daemon, both emotionally and physically. I’m greatly looking forward The Secret Commonwealth to dig into what this did to the relationship of Lyra and Pantalaimon. 

[--] Lyra was doing the cruelest thing she had ever done, hating herself, hating the deed, suffering for Pan and with Pan and because of Pan; trying to put him down on the cold path, disengaging his cat-claws from her clothes, weeping, weeping. Will closed his ears: the sound was too unhappy to bear. Time after time she pushed her daemon away, and still he cried and tried to cling. [--] 

”Pan, no one’s done this before,” she whispered waveringly, ”but Will says we’re coming back and I swear, Pan, I love you, I swear we’re coming back - I will - take care, my dear - you’ll be safe - we will come back, and if I have to spend every minute of my life finding you again I will, I won’t stop, I won’t rest, I won’t - oh Pan - dear Pan - I’ve got to, I’ve got to.” And she pushed him away so that he crouched bitter and cold and frightened on the muddy ground.    What animal he was now, Will could hardly tell. He seemed to be so young, a cub, a puppy, something helpless and beaten, a creature so sunk in misery that it was more misery than creature. His eyes never left Lyra’s face, and Will could see her making herself not look away, not avoid the guilt, and he admired her honesty and her courage at the same time as he was wrenched with the shock of their parting.

[--] Her eyes never left Pantalaimon, who stood trembling at the shore end of the jetty; but as the boatman let go of the iron ring and swung his oars out to pull the boat away, the little dog-daemon trotted helpless out to the very end, his claws clicking softly on the soft planks, and stood watching, just watching, as the boat drew away and the jetty faded and vanished in the mist.

(Sidenote: I remember getting to the chapter titled “Lyra and her Death” and doing a big WHAAAAAT kind of face. My dad laughed at me. Either way, I find the concept of a personal Death strangely comforting.) 

4. Asriel and Marisa into the Abyss This one is difficult to quote. Because it’s the whole scene, the whole part of it, the fight - which is brutal - and the ferocity of these two people who, granted, are both absolutely awful, but they do this thing at the very end and it saves everyone. It’s one of the many things that people do at the end that saves everyone, but still. Especially Marisa, who reveals earlier that she was so afraid of exactly this type of faith, just nothingness, to make that last jump, as Asriel calls her name, and she’s roaring as they topple Metatron over, the fact that they both have each other’s daemons at their side. It’s just a very haunting scene. I don’t think the tv show (or any movie) would have been able to pull of the exact way I imagined this in my head, but I’m looking forward to seeing it all the same, and I hope that we get there. 

Instead of quoting the very end, I picked the moments just before, when they’re together again for a brief moment before Metatron arrives. It’s a rather sweet conversation, considering who’s involved, Marisa crying and Asriel comforting her. The “Dust is beautiful - I never knew” stuck with me especially. 

He took her in his arms, and the golden monkey embraced the snow leopard’s neck and buried his black face in her fur.  ”Is Lyra safe? Has she found her daemon?” she whispered.  ”The ghost of the boy’s father is protecting both of them.”  ”Dust is beautiful. I never knew.”  ”What did you tell him?”  ”I lied and lied, Asriel - Let’s not wait too long. I can’t bear it. We won’t live, will we? We won’t survive like the ghosts?”  ”Not if we fall into the abyss. We came here to give Lyra time to find her daemon, and then time to live and grow up. If we take Metatron to extinction, Marisa, she’ll have that time, and if we go with him, it doesn’t matter.”  ”And Lyra will be safe?”  ”Yes, yes,” he said, gently.  He kissed her. She felt as soft and light in his arms as she’d done when Lyra was conceived thirteen years before.

5. Lyra and Will freeing the Authority For a series that people keep harping on is about killing God, the actual death of the creature who called himself that is actually quite beautiful. It’s even a little sad. But it’s also important to me that there is actually no killing going on. All that happens, in all its unremarkable-ness - because no one else notices - is that there are two children who are kind and wants to help. And that’s what they do. 

Will cut through the crystal in one movement and reached in to help the angel out. Demented and powerless, the aged being could only weep and mumble in fear and pain and misery, and he shrank away from what seemed like another threat.  ”It’s all right,” Will said, ”we can help you hide, at least. Come on, we won’t hurt you.”  The shaking hand seized his and feebly held on. The old one was uttering a wordless groaning whimper that went on and on, and grinding his teeth, and compulsively plucking at himself with his free hand; but as Lyra reached in too to help him out, he tried to smile, and to bow, and his ancient eyes deep in their wrinkles blinked at her with innocent wonder.  Between them they helped the ancient of days out of his crystal cell; it wasn’t hard, for he was light as paper, and he would have followed them anywhere, having no will of his own, and responding to simple kindness like a flower to the sun. But in the open air there was nothing to stop the wind from damaging him, and to their dismay his form began to loosen and dissolve. Only a few moments later he had vanished completely, and their last impression was those eyes, blinking in wonder, and a sigh of the most profound and exhausted relief.  Then he was gone: a mystery dissolving in mystery.

___

Whew. There we go. More crying than I was expected, though I probably should have, considering it’s me.

Quick honorable mentions, because I’m a horrible cheat, but without explanations: Lyra in the Retiring Room, Lyra leading the children through the snowstorm after Bolvangar, Mary Malone talking to the Angels through the Cave, Will and Lyra fleeing the children of Cittàgazze, all of Marzipan, Mary Malone standing on the platform and looking through her spyglass at the dust, Pan and Lyra talking about the Republic of Heaven. 

[jq37]

Ok, a few Unsleeping City asks: 1-Thoughts on new ep? 2-CAMBRIDGE SANTALYTICA 3-The gang tries to meet up for drinks

**spoilers for mutant santa melee**

(I’ll respond to the other two parts of the ask in another post!)

We are back with our first battle episode of the season and our first chance to see the NY Crew really show their skills.

Ricky trying to keep Sophie's reckless ass safe because he has big golden retriever energy is great.

I can't decide if everyone taking this first fight more seriously than the first fight in FH is because they remember how badly they got womped last time and didn't want a repeat or because they were just playing older, more experienced characters.

I hate everything about these mutant Santas and I want it on the record. I mean, they're great from a game design perspective but I hate them.

"Mr. March, I'm gonna save you!"/"My name is Rick, by the way."

I thought it was funny that Ricky and Sophie both happened to hit the exact wrong type of Santa for their skillset for their first attack, back to back.  

Fig's Bardic Inspiration move was to do flirty winks at everyone. Misty's is to give big, theatrical compliments. I love it.  

Ricky dropping gun safety warnings mid MUTANT SANTA FIGHT.

"Fucking come out of your stupid cocoon! I know you're not a butterfly!"

I love it when rolls are happening at the table and Lou is loudly like, "This is terrible. I hate this." He did it all through the family rescue rolls in FH too.

"It's fine. It's fucking new York. What do you expect?"/"The NY that I live in and the NY that you live in are very different my friend." That's the real NY experience.

Sophie going, "F the minions, I'm going for the obvious boss Monster, I'll take the attacks," is such a good character defining moment. Also, the action-y music abruptly cutting off as the door shut was hilarious.

So Pete is hearing mysterious whispers and Sophie is hearing mysterious whispers and I'm Concerned, especially since it's the two newbies and it's not necessarily significant but it could be so I'm just mentioning it and tabling it until I have more info to speculate.

Misty turning to Kingston and saying, "Just like old times!" makes me want to know every single detail of their history together before the new kids showed up.

"Santa's my friend and he's fucking dead."

I like the homebrew rule for Pete's wild magic surge which makes the odds of one increase every time it doesn't happen because it ups the chaos factor and makes it inevitable rather than just a possibility which I bet has the potential to create some real tension in a long, drawn out fight.

The way Brennan kept describing Pete's arm as peeling like a banana when he used his magic grossed me out so much so, if that was the goal, you did it. Thanks, I hate it.

The, "Guess I'll just die," meme but it's Pete going, "Guess I'll just use this evil magic."

"Darling I love to be naughty. It's my favorite thing!" (Misty's chaos potential increases with every line she says).

"SANTA GETYCHO ASS UP." (Flawless bedside manner)

I forgot how fragile lower level characters can be! I'm glad so many of the party members have at least some healing spells (I think everyone but Pete and Sophie) as opposed to FH when it was basically just Kristen I think.

"He just gives us a PS4 and that's it."

Sophie monkey bars up Giant Eldritch Horror Santa's exposed ribcage and upercut-kick him because stripping Emily of her magic doesn't strip her of her creativity or flair.

"Darling, with me every day is a show. My life is a show!"

Sophie, upon being complimented by Misty: Oh my God. My new friends are awesome.

The idea of a dirty rat man summoning a unicorn is hilarious to me.

Pete's first Wild Magic surge just restores his sorcery points, which is great as a player but, as a viewer, I really hope we get to see some bombastic nonsense soon. Also, Brennan had the wild magic surge, in story, be the result of Pete's magic reacting to Kingston's, which I thought was a cool way to justify game mechanics.

"You're the opposite of Santa!"

Smites are GOOD you guys.

Sophie catches Santa and and Ricky (who has just killed the boss Santa) takes a selfie with them. Bless. Also, Sophie refuses to put down Santa for the rest of the fight.

Misty has an umbrella with a KNIFE inside of it which I LOVE.

The fight ends a little anticlimactically because, once you bum rush the boss, all that's left to do is clean up the minions.

Misty mentioned having Shoes of Titania and I wanna know if that's an actual item with a mechanical effect and what its stats are if so.

Ally realizing they only some of the Santas explode on impact basically at the end of the fight was classic DnD.

Santa sending people into his bag was giving me big Naddpod vibes.

"What the fuck happened?" --Santa, 2019

I don't like the implication of the gestating tadpoles with the Santa hats. Like, is Santa's hat organic? Is it just a part of his body? No thank you.

Pete just lying to Santa's face for absolutely no reason. Incredible.

Santa and Misty talking shop, just because, was such a fun 30 seconds of RP. I love RP that exists just to exist (and, sidenote, I also love when it comes back around and becomes relevant like in Naddpod (14 seconds of absolute silence...chicken)).  

"Santa, don't give this boy an egg."

"A very fancy egg for a very not fancy boy. But a good boy nonetheless."

Ricky on Santa: It would be crazy if you weren't real because you're such a good person. (Zac struggling to get through that was his second best moment of the ep).

Pete gives Santa a bag of coke and tries to dip when she sees cops because, magic or not, that's Who He Is As A Person.

Santa: Pete, your soul is in jeopardy. (lol, Santa knew his name on sight which, of course he did. It's Santa. Duh.)

CENTAUR HORSE COP. I love that as much as I hate the mutant Santas.

Ricky, horrified: Am I on the bad list?/Santa, who is still processing that Ricky never stopped believing in Santa:Ricky, no. (That was my fave Ricky line of the ep, in case you were wondering)

So, in this world, Christian (Catholic specifically) figures explicitly exist, which is good to know. Also, in last episode and this one, the grey faced child mentioned Lazarus which I thought was just a stylistic name choice but that's a name w/ specific Biblical connotations (that's the dude Jesus brought back from the dead for those not up on your New Testament) and it still might be irrelevant, but it's one more thing for me to tack up on my conspiracy board.  

"Santa, are you Cambrdige Analytica?"

Anyway, Heaven and Hell use the naughty and nice list to figure out who goes where so they're not being redundant which is wild because that means Santa essentially gets to decide morality for the rest of the world and, as of now, Pete is super going to hell based on the look Santa gave him when they were talking about who's on the naughty list.

Santa's list has been stolen which is, como se dice, Bad. The specifics aren't clear, but it's super not good. Also, Santa lets the group know that they might wanna figure out what's going on with Pete before he chucks deuces and goes home. So it seems like we'll be seeing him again.

I wonder what the timeline for this season is gonna be. Like, Christmas seems like an obvious time for a big, climactic setpiece, but it'll have to be a really compressed timeline if that's what they're aiming for. Compressed compared to Fantasy High at least.

Sophie, illegally cracking a Mike's Hard in Central Park in front of a cop: Um, we're magic. (She gets a ticket immediately)

That's it for this week! Next week the mob (the pixie mob maybe?) and Siobahn has awesome hair!

[timeisacephalopod]

Rewards Points

Remember that YouTube AU I wrote with Peter Q/ Stephen/ Tony? Well I liked it so I’m writing more of it. So this is more of that (also if you want to find the first you can locate it under YouTube AU and also IronStarQuill).

Tony considers the empty spot beside him and Peter is doing the same. “Have we ever done a video without Stephen?” he asks eventually. 

He shakes his head, “pretty sure we haven’t. How do we start this?”

“Why are we even confused? He never starts these things, most of our videos are us talking,” Peter points out.

Its true for the most part but Stephen always has something to say and now Tony is confused without his presence. “Maybe we should wait until he’s back,” he says,

Peter considers it, he can see Peter consider it, but he eventually shakes his head. “Nah, he’d be pissed we didn’t stick to the schedule. You know how he is.” Shit does he ever, Stephen is a damn stickler for being on time and schedule. It works for Peter, who’s usually under a time crunch on set, but Tony has never liked being on time or on schedule. He makes his own times and schedules and everyone else works around him.

“How is it possible that none of our schedules have ever conflicted with these videos before?” he asks. That simply isn’t possible- Peter’s jobs might be always up in the air, but Stephen and Tony travel consistently for their jobs. Especially him.

“We do dark weeks when none of us are going to be around,” Peter says. “Which usually means only one of us is around. Its just weird luck that two of us are here and Stephen is off doing doctor things. I think, I didn’t really ask,” Peter says.

“He’s giving a talk on spines or something like that, I have a hard time keeping up,” he admits.

Peter looks instantly relieved. “Jesus, I thought I was the only one. I mean you’re a genius and all that and Stephen can go on for hours if you let him.”

That’s an understatement but yeah, Tony has a hard time keeping up with language he doesn’t understand. He spends a lot of time looking up the terms Stephen uses on the fly but none of it seems to stick in his mind. Biology is not the kind of science he finds interesting unless it involves technology somehow. “Yeah, I don’t really care about spine things. I mean I care that Stephen cares but I don’t really know anything about it,” he says.

They sit awkwardly for a long moment before Peter speaks up. “What was this video supposed to be about?” he asks, defaulting to wrangling duties, Tony supposes.

“You pissing off studios because you thought it was funny,” he says. It’s a topic Stephen wouldn’t have much to contribute to anyways, hence them choosing it over other topics of interest. Like people’s weird need to know about Stephen and Peter’s early feud that Tony didn’t know existed but apparently got pretty vicious until they decided maybe they weren’t each other’s enemy. Tony doesn’t know if his total lack of knowledge of this means Peter and Stephen were subtle or if he’s completely dense but he’s leaning towards dense. Neither Stephen nor Peter know anything of subtlety.

“Right, yes,” Peter says. “So anyone who watches these things probably keeps up with me or Tony so you’ve probably already seen that trailer that nearly got me fired from my own fucking movie- like literally I wrote it, I’m directing it, and I’m one of the producers too, how the hell were they going to fire me? Okay I mean it can happen but given the response the trailer got I didn’t get fired,” Peter says.

Tony shakes his head because none of Peter’s fretting made any sense when his job was on the potential chopping block. “What the hell was the problem anyways? You soft of freaked out about maybe being fired but you didn’t actually say why.”

Peter sighs, “alright- so some background. No one wanted to do a movie about a gay guy who’s gayness was kind of irrelevant to the actual story for one- guess people don’t understand that being gay isn’t usually the only important thing about a person. So that was a strike against me. Then the problem was that no one big enough was attached to it so I asked Tony to do me a favor considering he had a lot in common with the character anyways so that saved my ass for five minutes. Then it turned out the kid that was cast as his son is trans, not like I knew that because I don’t make a habit of telling people to whip it out in auditions, so that was a thing,” he says, making a face. 

“Whatever. So when people stopped yelling about that they basically told me I was supposed to sell the story based on Tony’s fanbase but I didn’t want to do that so instead of making the reveal in the trailer that Tony is in it, I had the guys who cut the trailer stick him in less than thirty seconds into it and let the damn story sell itself. So that caused a whole new round of problems but people’s response to it was basically ‘wow, he didn’t use Tony Stark as his selling point, the story looks good!’ And that’s how I managed to keep my job,” he says.

“Not to be like... ungrateful or anything, but my fanbase is either a bunch of lovely human beings or the kind of guys who watch Fight Club and want to start a fight club. There’s no in between, and the guys who’d want to start a fight club would be pissed about the gay thing because dating two guys still doesn’t make me gay. I mean they’re kind of right, I’m bisexual but still, I’m not straight.” God knows he hates the half of his fanbase that thinks the time he spent drinking too much and acting like a complete jackass was a good way to live life but he can’t exactly do much about it now. Sure, he’s expressed plenty of distaste towards people who are like that, but no one seems content to listen.

Peter snorts, “oh my god, sidenote- one time Stephen and I looked you up. Can’t remember why but this was back before we stopped hating each other so we were probably looking for some kind of evidence that you loved one of us more than the other. Anyway, so we came across this entire blog that was dedicated to talking about how you ruined yourself by being too ‘PC’, and that dating Stephen and I was for ‘PC’ points. You know what, looking back on it I think that’s the first time Stephen and I bonded because we both thought it was hilarious that a real human being would genuinely think that you’d date someone just to be politically correct,” he says.

Tony lets out a long, drawn out sigh because this is the kind of shit he hates. “Yeah, obviously I date people to be politically correct. Bonus points because Stephen isn’t white,” he says sarcastically. 

“I think Stephen’s personality strips all those bonus points. I love him but he’s a total dickhead. I think I should earn more bonus points,” Peter says.

“None of you are earning any points, I’m not a points reward card, you can’t redeem your points at my non-existent cash register. If I were to award points though Stephen gets points for being a freakishly good kisser and you get points for being better at cuddling than Stephen,” he says. Stephen isn’t meant to cuddle, he gets home and if you touch him he literally growls until he’s slept for a few hours. Then he expects attention until he gets sick of it. Sort of like a cat.

Peter nods, “I’m not even mad about it, Stephen is a freakishly good kisser. I mean usually kissing is more a means to an end for me but Stephen makes it a whole show. Honestly I feel like a fucking golden retriever next to that,” he says, shaking his head.

Yeah, Peter has a lot less skill but so does Tony so its not like he can judge. “Ok. Stephen is a good kisser, that’s established. Back to you almost getting fired,” he says, preforming the necessary wrangling duties.

“Right! So yeah, anyways I also got into an argument about the kid, what’s his name?” he asks Tony.

“Peter,” he says. Kid is smart too, Tony likes him.

“Yeah, Peter. Eventually I got annoyed enough that I told them we keep the kid or I walk, which means you walk, which also takes your portion of the funding and they can have fun unkilling a dead project they all like now because you got involved. Needless to say I won,” Peter says.

Tony raises an eyebrow, “you did all that for some random unknown actor?” he asks, surprised.

Peter shrugs, “no one knew who I was either at one point. Then my fuckface dad almost ruined it for me when people did finally start to pay attention. Anyways, point is you and the kid have chemistry, I’m not recasting because I didn’t ask what junk looked like during auditions. That’s weird, invasive, and also technically discriminatory. Seriously though, the screen tests will not be the same with anyone else. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was your actual kid, you two work amazingly together and you actually produce good improv. Improv is hard,” he says but Tony doesn’t really know. He’s improvised near everything in his life so he’s gotten good at it. And the kid has talent and he’s fun to work with, Tony likes his memes.

“Pretty sure it wouldn’t actually matter, I’m good with him because I like kids, not because I like him specifically. I mean in two years he’ll be bitter and sad because the world is shit and seems intent on crushing people to death but you know. He’s fun now, while he still has hope and child-like wonder and all that.” Tony hopes he’ll be able to keep that bright light of wonder and happiness but he knows that’s probably never going to happen. Kid is different and the world has always punished anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo.

“Whatever, I don’t care if you like kids, I’m not replacing the kid I got for stupid reasons,” he says. “He’s fucking adorable and you two get along well, it’ll look good on camera. Less work as a director for me that way.”

Tony snorts because yeah, there’s the real reason Peter fought to keep mini Peter around- less work for him.

“Has it occurred to you that you forgot the name of an actor that has the same name as you?” Tony asks.

Peter shrugs, “I’m the best Peter so I don’t remember any of the others,” he says and Tony starts laughing.

*

Stephen ends up being called in to work before he even gets home, which Tony wonders about because jet leg is a bitch, but when he does finally venture home he sleeps for a stupid amount of time before wandering into the kitchen. He recognizes his own voice- ugh- and Peter’s and frowns until he finally clues in to Stephen watching the video he and Peter did without him. It got a surprisingly high hit count and a huge amount of positivity neither of them had been expecting. They hadn’t even realized why Peter’s name was suddenly trending on Twitter until they looked through the reactions.

Seems people were pleased that Peter stood up for younger trans Peter even though none of them seemed to have clued into the fact that Peter only did it to save himself directing trouble later.

“Peter gets too much credit as an ally, he only kept mini Peter because he didn’t want to try and coach chemistry out of another random teen that’s genetically dissimilar to you,” Stephen mumbles, trudging towards the coffee. His eyes are glued to it like its going to save him from jet leg and being extra tired after a shift at the hospital.

“Oh my god, genetics do weird things sometimes and Peter looks like his movie mother, Stephen, so shut up!” Peter yells from the living room.

“His features are still genetically unlikely, you should have recast,” Stephen yells back.

“No, I don’t want to find another kid who looks that good with Tony on camera. Mini Peter is good, I don’t give a shit about genetics!” Peter yells to him.

Stephen mumbles something under his breath as he pours his coffee. “Next people are going to accuse him of dating us for PC points,” he mutters.

“That’s already happened. Also how come no one accuses you of doing that?” he asks.

“Because minorities don’t usually scramble for PC points, we’re born with them. Don’t look at me like that, I think its stupid too. Also I think Peter’s bad self insert movie about the father he wished he had with a kid that could pass as his is sad and depressing, but also creepy because he cast his boyfriend as his metaphorical dad,” Stephen mumbles. He takes a drink of his coffee just as Peter enters the room.

He obviously hears the last bit of that because he goes from looking ready to fight Stephen on genetics to disgusted in ten seconds flat. “Oh my god, how dare- I did not, Tony isn’t- He is not my father!” Peter says, horrified.

Tony shakes his head, “no, no I am not and Stephen you need to stop that. I’m not playing the role of Peter’s dad.”

“Are so. You’re officially his daddy,” Stephen says, grinning as Peter and Tony both start gagging.

“I have too many daddy issues for this shit,” Tony mumbles, gagging again. “Please tell me this isn’t actually a story about the father you wished you had,” he says to Peter.

Peter is still gagging to his left, looking so disgusted he’s about to cry. “It is, but Stephen had to fucking make it weird, I didn’t even make that connection until he made it for me.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, absolutely not, I’m leaving you both and going back to Pepper and getting no PC points for it,” he says, wrinkling his entire face is disgust.

“Well, she’s a woman running a very successful company- technically your company- so I think you get a half a PC point for that,” Stephen tells him, smiling pleasantly like he’s happy that he’s permanently ruined Tony’s relationship with Peter.

“You did this on purpose!” Peter accuses. “You know how many daddy issues Tony and I have and you totally weaponized it!”

Stephen continues drinking his coffee. “I’d like to point out that I’m clearly the superior partner because I’ve never made you my father. Though, to be fair you look nothing like him even if you’re the same height,” he says.

“Fuck you, Stephen,” Peter tells him. “I thought you got over the jealousy thing.” He pouts, giving Tony puppy eyes but he can’t look Peter in the eye right now. Or maybe ever again.

“Sure I am, but I like making you squirm and also I do find it very strange that you cast Tony as your pseudo father. Just saying, I think maybe you have more issues than you think,” Stephen tells Peter.

Peter sits down on the ground before flopping over and curling into a ball. “I hate you and my life,” he mumbles.

“Stop whining, at least you aren’t my dad!” Tony tells him.

“You aren’t my dad either, you just had a lot in common with the character!” Peter says. “Stephen only made it weird because he sucks.”

“I only pointed out the obvious,” Stephen corrects.

Tony lets out a long groan because this is going to be a painful process. Peter seems to feel the same way but Stephen, the asshole, looks utterly pleased with himself.

“Also,” Stephen adds, “next time I would actually like if you waited for me to return to do a video.”

Peter and Tony flip him off but Stephen looks utterly unrepentant.

[moodboardinthecloud]

Will woke go up in smoke

FROM THE MAGAZINEHOLLYWOOD 2021Will Woke Go Up in Smoke?A TV writer-creator on the future of virtue signalling in Hollywood and beyond.

BY JENNY LUMET

FEBRUARY 23, 2021

In the Whole Foods on Montana Avenue, at the top of the lockdown and right after George Floyd’s murder, a Santa Monica lady and I reached for the same avocado at the same time. When I say Santa Monica lady, I mean a white lady.

Her child was beautiful, like all the children in the Whole Foods. They were masked. Masked, beautiful, healthy, reverse bandits, as there was nothing they would ever steal. They only wanted to give back. I know this because I read their T-shirts. These were people to whom things mattered.

I was also masked. A masked Black person.

Sidenote: My mother, 84, lives on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and goes daily to Marche Madison, which is her nearest grocery store. There are very few essentials at this store, mostly things you’d choose to eat as opposed to things you’d need to eat. My mother refers to herself as “the Masked Negro of Marche Madison.”

Mother is a savage.

During the avocado skirmish, I registered Santa Monica lady’s confusion at my pale pigmentation. She was not the first, nor will she be the last. The spectrum of American Blackness is vast and beautiful. I have a white father and am also the direct descendant of enslaved Africans. My children’s DNA is in the floorboards of the Calhoun Mansion in South Carolina. John C. Calhoun himself is my great- (times five) grand-rapist.

Proximity to whiteness comes with privileges, far too many to list here. In the movie business—as in every other business, I suspect—you certainly get hired faster and more often. And you get called the N-word by the recipient of a Golden Globe, and then again by an EGOT. #MovingOnUp

The SML’s confusion—Was I white? And if I was white, did that mean it was okay if she just claimed the avocado?—only lasted a beat before she erred on the side of wokeness. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I know why she was sorry. She feared that I, a masked Black stranger, would perceive her as a bad person. And when I say bad person, I mean a racist, a person who felt entitled to take the avocado as she had been taking avocados all her life: First. Ahead of. The fact that she feared I might think this of her confirms that she may well have been a racist and had apologized only because she had watched George Floyd’s murder on her TV.

One of my friends is a phone sex worker: “I had a guy who CURATED HIS FANTASIES to make sure I KNOW HE’S WOKE—like I care—and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.”

How do I know what was triple-salchowing through her brain? I know because I know. Experience is expertise. You can’t buy or relocate out of this bullshit. You can’t just say, “I’m sticking to the coasts.”

Ialso know because the salchow has permutations, and I’ve done a version of it myself.

One time, during a 12-day hospital stay in NYC years ago, while I was sick as a dog, my roommate, a Black lady, was garrulous. She had her entire family visiting, and they were garrulous too. It was the yellingest family in Lenox Hill Hospital. I was trying not to die, so I said nothing but passive-aggressively shot baleful, wounded glances in their direction. The behaviour! thought I. (My thought bubble has the British spelling. That’s how much of an asshole I am.)

And a member of the lady’s family said, “That white girl thinks we’re too loud.”

ALARUM! EXEUNT! EXEUNT!

Immediately defensive and panicked, I longed to say: WAIT! I’M NOT A WHITE GIRL AND A RACIST! I’M A BLACK GIRL WHO’S INTERNALIZED COLORISM!

When the toxin has lived in you, you can smell it in other people.

So I knew about the Santa Monica avocado lady because I know. And here’s my question: Now that it’s no longer 2020, will woke go up in smoke?

To my understanding, wokeness is a thing that means you take a real look at the world and how you move through it. If one is an asshole, one tries to remedy. (I am always working on that one. Always.) And it’s a process—no one just hears the alarm and leaps out of bed. Mostly we all hit snooze 70 billion times and then wonder why we’re late. There’s a long history of public murder. And of hitting the snooze button.

I did a very nonscientific poll among my friends. All of them are women and very, very tired. Will woke go up in smoke? I asked them.

One of my friends is a phone sex worker, and she deals with folk on a pretty primal level. She is always a Black woman but sometimes not, depends who might be calling. “I had a guy who had curated his fantasies to make sure I know he’s woke—like I care—and he doesn’t want to do it anymore,” she told me. “Since November he’s just been rage venting. He did everything he was supposed to do. But everyone’s still mad at him.”

Wait. Everyone’s mad at him? Everyone who?

“I don’t know. The Black lady in his office. She makes him feel castrated. Or something. Now he’s angry. He’s angry at the language. I was like: ‘You know you’re actually in a “safe space” now, right?’ And he totally lost his hard-on. Boom. He doesn’t want to hear about safe spaces or talk about this shit anymore. Fuck, I wasn’t making this guy be woke. By the way he’s super dom now.”

Okay, here’s what I deduced from all this:

My friend is doing the Lord’s work.

Woke is sustainable only under a very particular set of circumstances.

Woke is unsustainable while fucking.

I’m the fourth generation of my family (yup, the fourth) to work in show business, and the only thing I know for sure is that virtue usually flowers when you’re vulnerable.

I created a show about a Black family at a big streaming service. Not the streamer on which I currently have shows. Said show was based on my fancy family. The head people in charge (all of whom were SMLs, including the guys) said, “We love your fancy family! We love the sophistication! Ha ha ha! Please let us know if we say anything (racist) dumb! Or do anything (racist) stupid!”

They were vulnerable. They were, like the SML, afraid they would be judged and found wanting. That judgment would live in the tiniest corner of their brain and haunt them like the fitted sheet that doesn’t match anything anymore but is somehow always in the fucking closet.

And then, somehow, they weren’t afraid. Maybe it was repeated exposure. They said, “Do you guys really talk like that?” And also: “Can we have a scene where someone is getting thrown over a cop car? For relatability? Because we feel the privilege of your family is getting in the way of our commentary on race.”

My Blackness was getting in the way of their commentary on race. These were suddenly some very confident SMLs.

At the 11th hour they asked if we could introduce the lightest-skinned character first (colorism was a theme of the show), so the Blackness of her family could be a reveal. Ha ha! Funny!

I confronted. They said I asked loaded questions and shouldn’t. I made a bet with the showrunner that their next show about Black people would have slaves in it. I won.

For many, the miasma of fear that was 2020 is lifting. There are vaccines. Those people no longer live in the White House. Many, myself included, feel less vulnerable. It’s going to get better.

And a lot of people will be happy not to talk about this shit anymore.

One my friends insists wokeness is here to stay: There’s a whole new level of awareness, she says! The bell has been rung! (It’s been ringing forever, but whatever.) Yet the Zooms of my world still look like my high school yearbook—the Dalton School, NYC, class of 1984. In other words, thumbprints of whiteness punctuated with the rare brown exclamation point.

I heard a famous Black comedian talk about Me Too. (This connects, hang on.) He seemed to have complex feelings about it, to which he’s entitled. But then he said: Ladies, you don’t tell on us as much as you could, we know that. But it’s going to be worse for you when this moment goes away.

I don’t think it was a threat, though it felt like one. I think he believed he was warning us of the punishment to come: Me Too will go away, the tolerance for listening will max out, and Dad will turn around and say, “You’ve had your fun. I’m pulling this goddamn car over right now.”

And then beat the kids for having a moment.

[littlelarajean]

#37 do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? AND off topic.. but have you tried the limited edition golden oreos with the hazelnut cream filling? they're pretty awesome

YES I really like to read and I like a lot of books. This question is impossible for me to answer with a single book. So here’s the short list of books/authors/series that I have read more than once:

1. Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddel, a graphic novel free to read online, scifi fantasy with just... just... it’s so good guys. So good.

2. Nimona by Noelle Stevenson. Graphic Novel. I don’t care who you are, what kind of books you like, if you think graphic novels are tripe, this books is a must read. Fantasy, funny, emotional. You will FEEL. SO much feels. I cried so much. +10pts for a happy ending.

3. Child’s Toy by Miho Obana, old manga series about a child actress, super silly just like drama with a very happy ending, was my intro to manga actually!

4. The Hobbit by Tolkien, a True Classic and can I just say FUCK the Peter Jackson movie version. Just fucking fuck it no. (Sorry I’m serious about my books.)

5. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrende, classic fairytale with kick ass lady main character.

6. Anything by Sharon Shinn. Literally anything. I haven’t even read all her stuff yet but she is like comfort food for me. I just feel so GOOD reading her writing. She writes high fantasy, usually not excessively complex or epic, just good wholesome characters and a splash of romance. Good good good.

7. Jane Austen novels, especially Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice. I totally get that this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but that woman is so sarcastic. She’s the best. Her snark is top tier.

8.  The Ancient Magus Bride by Kore Yamazaki, manga series ongoing and being made into an anime (but the BOOKS ARE BETTER SORRY)

9. Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, first book in the series, dear got Patrick if you are reading this please write the last book. Please. Just do it. Now. Please. Also sidenote, his short story from the same world the Slow Regard of Silent Things was so beautiful.

10. I have a special place in my heart for any series by Tamora Pierce, the original Warriors cats series by Erin Hunter, the Black Cauldron Series, and the Wicked Lovely series. These were the books that originally got me to like books- I was shockingly anti reading until about 13 years old.

I as so sure I’m leaving something important out but these are the big ones. (Like the Monstress series and Ella Enchanted oh god I must stop) Books are really great! As you can see I’m definitely a fantasy novel reader. Anyway.

As to the oreos, no I haven’t tried them! I am completely addicted to mini regular oreos though. I used to ask for a oreo ice cream cake for my birthday every year. I did recently have the horrifying experience of trying one of their mystery oreos. It tasted like something one shouldn’t have in their mouth ever. Ever. I’d like hazelnut ones though! I’ll keep my eyes peeled for them.

THANKS FOR ASKING I’LL TALK ABOUT BOOKS I LIKE ALL DAAAAAAAAAY

[jaylos]

i hated descendants 2 and here's why

a collection of reasons why i am utterly disappointed in this sequel.

warnings: there will be swearing and negative commentary about these ships: Mal/Ben, Evie/Doug, Carlos/Jane. (so basically all the canon pairings lmao)

buckle up this is gonna be long and salty. (also spoilers, duh) (and i take artistic liberty in the capitalization of words and i like to be dramatic)

also check out other rant posts i made bc they kinda tie in with all of this (reading not required in order to understand it tho): magic ban Rise of the Isle of the Lost my thoughts during my first time watching it Bal

1. Characters

Ok i need to go back to d1 for a second: they already did a bad job on introducing the characters to us there. For exapmle: Carlos and technology. He does that thing where he locates the museum or when he turns off the alarm, but without the first book (the isle of the lost) the fact that he is supposedly a tech genius would've flown over everyone's heads. And this is the problem: the movie(s) rely on spin-off media (the books, wicked world) to explain the characters to us. A movie shouldn't have to do that in the first place, but what makes it worse is that the books and the webseries are inconsistent like no tomorrow and also contradict each other on several occasions. Now that wouldn't be so bad if the movies were enough to solidify the characters, but they're not. They also try to patch up plot holes in the books so they don't have to deal with it in the movies. But someone who hasn't read them might wonder how the pirate crew got their ship, and they're offered no explanation in the movie whatsoever. (i'm pretty sure this could've been avoided with a few tweaks to the script tho??)

What I think happened here is that they simply had too many characters and so basically all of them fell flat because they didn't have time to explore them properly. And what did they do in d2? they dragged that problem with them, introduced more characters who's arcs they could half-ass and got rid of what little personality the original characters had.

We don't actually know shit about them. What are their hobbies? What are their interpersonal dynamics like? What are their struggles in Auradon after a life of abuse and neglect? (i'm convinced that that last one can absolutely be dealt with in a child-friendly manner, but instead they brushed it off almost completely. I say almost because we got a few tidbits here and there but those were about as deep as a puddle on a sidewalk)

1.a. Jay

Why is he depicted as a main character when he has less lines & relevance to the plot than Jane?  Even the gotdam dog had some purpose. wouldn't change a thing if Jay wasn't there at all.

l i s ten i love Jay for the character that i made him out to be in my head and through some of the things the fandom has contributed but in canon he is redundant as all fuck.

Also i'm not gonna go into the outfits in this rant bc that's too subjective and is not what contributed to d2 being a bad movie but let's just say i found most of his looks kind of.. off-putting. why they didn't take advantage of Booboo Stewart's beauty is a mystery to me. Especially since his looks are supposed to be Jay's strong suit.

2.b. Chad

He was a completely different character. Not only did his personality shift from deceitful to moronic but his morals changed?? like in d1 he didn't actually play by the rules - he let other people do his homework, and he didn't tell on Evie because he found her cheating wrong but because he wanted payback.

And in d2 he suddenly cares about rules word for word because the writers and the (young) audience already hate him so he can be sexist too i guess. Instead of making him a meaningful threedimensional character that offers a different perspective as the child of a disney hero he was turned into the comic relief and the overdone trope of the jock that lost his status and is now laughed at. Groundbreaking. you hate him i get it i g e t i t. (also stay tuned for the sexism part i'm not done with that)

1.c. Carlos

to get super subjective again: i absolutely hate the direction they went in with his character. why not make him even more nerdy now that he has the freedom to do so? the only thing that referenced his tech stuff was that he supposedly improved their 3D printer. wow. his new hairstyle, the golden headphones etc. were things that don't fit into the impression i got from the first movie and/or the books at all. they didn't even show him tinkering with some device or whatever? how tf am i supposed to believe that he's a techie???

Also in Rise of the Isle of the Lost he is anti-magic for some goshdang reason, but in d2 he asks Mal to help him with magic, which is one of those inconsistencies i was talking about.

1.d. Evie

here's what i would have done with her instead: make 4 Hearts less relevant (do show her sewing and talking about commissions) and let her care for the remaining isle kids from the very beginning. her introduction in d2 could've been her talking about wanting to bring them over, but having difficutly to make it happen (maybe the royal council pushes back or whatever).

instead she spends 6(?) months doing jackshit about the isle kids and only remembers it like halfway through the movie.

1.e. Ben

he just pisses me off. not only is he dismissive and ignorant of Mal's struggles and blames her for when she fails to be perfect, but he is also incompetent as a king, at least when it comes to the Isle. Why the fuck did it take him so long to bring more isle kids over? and why does he need to hear it from Evie first? it was his idea in the first place but then he completely forgets about it for some reason even though he is literally dating a vk. "i guess i've just been busy" with what? being a fuckboy? (also sidenote: there it is again with the "tell don't show" that i've already talked about in the rant about Rise linked above. it's one of the biggest problems i have with the storytelling across all installations in this franchise. Ben is not shown being busy one single time. We're just supposed to believe it because they said so.)

(another sidenote: why the fuck does he have those beast traits, by which i mean all that redundant roaring like i get they want to reference beauty and the beast but do the writers realize that his father was cursed he does not actually have those furry genes)

1.f. Jane

? per s onalit y ?¿?? literally who is she

There's not much to say about the others (some i will cover later when i talk about relationships). Do you know that thing when a character's potential is wasted? In descendants this happens with every last one of them. They're like those cakes that are just for show: they look amazing and tasty but when you take a bite it's cardboard.

2. Plot

pretty basic for the most part, but i personally found the suspense curve really weird. it has two climaxes (? what is plural): 1. the sword fight and 2. at the cotillion. Also i hated that it took place over the course of like 2 days, but that might just be my personal taste. There are some plot holes of varying degrees of annoying. For one, Maleficent probably starved to death in that box because Mal and the writers forgot about her. And her moped is gone, it left, like i should have as well, good-fucking-bye.

Then there's the fact that Mal didn't go back with them because she learned some kind of lesson or grew as a peson or whatever but because she didn't have a choice and they never talked about her initial struggles except "my hair and dress are purple again so it's fine". i mean yeah she said her piece about not fitting in or whatever but we don't actually see it working out after all that trouble?How did the dynamic in their relationship change? who knows.

Then there's the fact that Uma is somewhere in the ocean, she's a giant monster and 100% capable of using magic but no one gives a shit??? at this point i'm willing to bet that in the next isle book it will be explained what happened to her so it doesn't have to be dealt with in descendants 3 and i will scream.

By the way i didn't understand what it was that Ben said that convinced her to retreat, his speech was so lame.

Also the octopus/dragon "fight" was ridiculous. they didn't do shit? Uma was just wiggling around and Mal was floating, which looked stupid because she made flying/gliding motions but stayed in the same spot.

And one thing that really annoyed me is how they only made 5 smoke bombs and then also needed exactly 5. b better prepared u idiots. that whole thing was so weird anyway bc the point was to avoid a fight but it didn't work. maybe it would've worked if they had made more than 5 who knows. and the plan to make them in the first place came completely out of the blue. (-plan? -smoke bombs -k)

Also why did Uma expect the wand to work under the barrier? The only explanation I can think of is that it's because the wand was what created the barrier (although the whole thing about the Isle is that magic Does Not Work and we should have been given an explanation as to why the wand is an exception) but 1. How would Uma know that and 2. If it had been the real wand they could've used it to knock the pirates out or whatever and Uma should've expected that. This whole trade-off thing was sketchy and holey as fuck.

You know what was one of the best things about d1? The parents. I mean this was probably a budget issue but the parents were arguably one of, if not the, most entertaining aspects. and boy could it have been interesting to see the confontation between them and their kids...

The isle was really weird and underwhelming btw. i saw people say it was great bc we got to see more of the isle but did we really? it was just a bunch of disjointed locations and we still have no idea how anything is located in relation to one another, how big it is, or how and how many people actually live there. And why did no one there give a shit that the rotten four were back? most of all Mal, whom the people hated the most for betraying them and becoming a princess. Also why did Mal not go back to her old home instead of this building that was a.. warehouse? their gang hangout?? that came out of nowhere??? correct me if i'm wrong but do they say something along the lines of  "we used to hang out here" even once? why was there a bed in there

And hey remember tourney? It's not even like roar was necessary so that they'd have swords? Also it could have been mentioned like "now that tourney season's over we're focusing on roar" but no?? Let's just forget about it like the writers did.

3. Music

not really much to say, except that they used way too much autotune but i guess overall it's an improvement compared to the first movie but it's whatever. the only thing that confused me about what's my name was that in the movie (as opposed to the music video on youtube etc) there was this weird echo that made it sound like it was playing in another tab with a slight lag??

and another thing that stuck out to me was it's going down: the rap parts were already hella uncomfortable to watch but when ben started singing i just about died of secondhand embarrassment it's so bad lmao.

4. The Thing With Lonnie

Don't get me wrong, i love that she got a bigger part and that she's a good swordfighter and whatnot.

BUT:

First of all, why is it even a thing that the roar rule book has gendered language like that? i mean aren't there countless women in auradon who have proven over and over again that they're just as capable as man? why does Lonnie need to prove anything. especially since her mother is mulan of all people???

listen, the exploitation of gendered language has brought forth some great moments (eg: lotr "i am no man") but it's getting old. Girls and women have proven countless times that they can do "anything a boy can". how many times more does it have to happen until we can take the next step?

And it wasn't even handled well in d2. Sure, Lonnie's captain now, but do we really have to wait until d3 (or god forbid the next book in the isle series where the movie can lean back and let the book do all the storytelling work) for something to actually change in a system that is still misogynistic for whatever goddamn reason??

for this sideplot not to fail miserably like it did, what should have happened is that Lonnie changes the rules so that anyone can join the team, because as we were left it was still "captain and 8 men". we did not see the actual change happening and this was a half-assed attempt at this tired old "girl power" shit.

in this kind of storyline we only ever see the first step, we never see the actual progress that follows. it's always just "huh, i guess girls aren't useless after all" it's 2017 get with the program and move the fuck on.

OR just drop this overdone trope and have a team consisting of different genders from the very beginning.

It's time to tell girls that they don't need to prove themselves in order to be respected.

5. Relationships jesus christ here we go

okay okay there is a number of things that get my blood b o i l i n g and one of them is lazy fictional heterosexual romances and boy oh boy is this movie a fucking gold mine in that regard.

5.a. let's take a look at janelos first (don't worry i will talk shit about bal and devie individually as well): it's boring, shallow, if it was a spice it would be flour. look, if you ship it, by all means be my fucking guest. i even encourage you to write fanfiction or do something to make something out of this bland ass mess of a supposed romantic relationship.

it's a perfect example of what is wrong with this kind of fictional romance. first of all i will disregard the books bc 1. the movies shouldn't need the books for that, yadda yadda and 2. they don't do much to save it anyway. so. it's the easy route, the tried and true formular, and that's the problem. he was a boy, she was a girl, and that's enough to make their interest in each other believable, right? the answer is no. it's lazily written and i am tired™. why, how, when did they fall in love? are they even friends? what do they have in common? what activities do they enjoy together? those are all things we don't know, this relationship comes out of nowhere. how did they go from not even so much as look at each other in the first movie to being head over heels for each other? and not to mention, was it worth sacrificing their personalities for? you guessed it the answer is no yet again. Neither Carlos nor Jane receive any character development whatsoever. None. They could have done so much with them (if you hear a strange sound it's me weeping).

And it is replaceable. Change their names and it won't make the slightest bit of difference, because this relationship does not have one single distinguishable trait (in fact it has no traits period) compared to the 87632947 others out there. it is so. generic. and frankly i don't understand how people can settle for it. i mean i get how people can just watch the movie and not care bc why would they, but how does someone look at this and go "yes, this is a well-written romance" ????? ? ? up your standards people.

and now some predictions that came (somewhat) true from that Heterosexual Romantic Subplot Bullshit Bingo i wanted to make for d2 but never finished:

- by the end their relationship won’t have developed like at all, but they dance together to show us that they’ve come sUcH a LoNg waY

- one wants to ask the other out/they both want to ask each other out, but they’re too shy and also the plot keeps interrupting them.

- it will take away screentime they could have used to give them actual character development.

- jane won't receive an arc besides being and obligatory love interest.

- carlos tries talking to her but he stammers and it’s supposed to be cute.

5.b. Devie

Like i get that Doug is jealous bc of his own insecurities but what is hip with the kids in the year of our lord 2k17 is mutual trust and communication. To think that Evie would cheat on him is such an insult tbh?? And why did Evie not tell him where she was going in the first place? i mean granted i could think of a few reasons why she wouldn't but we don't even see her give a shit bc Doug is irrelevant in her quest to go and sing a duet with the person she'd rather be dating. She probably just forgot about Doug like I, the viewer, did the second he left the screen.

Also it's just the same bs again. We don't know shit about their relationship. What is it like? What do they enjoy doing together? What is their dynamic? Doug could literally be a pair of Pradas and it wouldn't make a difference.

But for real tho can we go back on how he accuses her of cheating?? like wow dude that's so gross  pls don't present that to young viewers as cute because i assure you it is not.

5.c. Bal (h e r e w e g o)

Ben is such a bad boyfriend omg. I mean i get that he couldn't possibly understand what Mal is going through, but he isn't even trying. She changes everything about herself and he doesn't get suspicious in the least. And apparently they don't talk about anything that matters because 1. Mal can't be honest with him (she dragged all that shit around with her for ~6 months!!!) and 2. he would know more about the isle (but he has no clue).

out of all the relationships in this movie this is the one they should've put some effort into. i mean they succeeded in making Ben look like a dick but that wasn't their intention so i just ended up feeling sorry for Mal for being stuck with him bc it's ~true love~ .

Mal to Ben: "you've always known who we were" he didn't tho?? just bc he gave her a purple dress in that stained glass picture? he could've just told her that instead of letting her suffer for months bc she thought he'd leave her if she was more like herself. and that's the resolution, Mal shouldn't have been worried oh how silly of her! i guess everything is fine after all!

but you know actually their love for each other is totally believable bc they had an emotional and heart-wrenching duet together - oh wait.

A big reason why Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron got a duet is probably because they're professional singers and Mitchell Hope apparently can't get out a single correct note without 10 layers of autotune but when the story is about true love saving the day shouldn't that aspect get a little more attention? i mean don't get me wrong i like that the duet between mal and evie is there at all (but hey @disney make it gay you cowards) bc the friendships between the characters and especially the vk's don't get nearly as much attention as they should.

not to go on a tangent about how hand-holding and forehead-touching can totally be platonic but put next to Ben and Mal who Do Not Do That it makes their romantic relationship even less exciting. like, i don't know why i should care about it.

also while typing this i realized that it's not really that different from other movies and i thought hey, maybe i'm being too hard on it, but then i remembered that 99% of all canon heterosexual romantic relationships are bland and boring and i need writers to try harder (or try at all) because i am bored to death by the same shit over and over again.

i know i'm wasting way too much energy on this but i was already too invested in descendants so might as well go all the way amirite. i just had to get it all off my chest. if you need me to elaborate on anything feel free to message me.

and the first movie wasn't all that good btw, it is trashy in a way that was enjoyable, but the second one is just trash.

so yeah all in all that script was just straight up a pile of garbage consisting of washed-out tropes and no amount of bright colors or catchy songs can save it.

[topheriskris]

I have no ideas right now.

I don’t know what to write about. I don’t know if I should start a mom blog and start monetizing it. I don’t know how I should go about restarting my career. I don’t know if I should continue trying to volunteer and build my portfolio (which by the way, another person flaked out on me last week!). Should I completely do a 180 and just own a jewelry line on etsy? I don’t know. 

Because of this, I’ve been consuming a lot. Both of the food and non-food variety. Before you start thinking that I’ve been eating couches the past few weeks, no. I’ve been watching a lot of movies, read some books, watching a LOT of tv. So... I’m going to tell you about it. SPOILERS ahead... probably. 

I finished season 2 of Legends of Tomorrow. First off, half of the original crew is still on board the ship which is kind of cool. I like having a rotating cast, but the because these super heroes are time travelers, they find insane ways why an old character returns. They acknowledge how crazy this is but doesn’t really stop doing it. 

I have a love/hate relationship for this show. I also am annoyed with the blossoming relationship between Nate and Amaya. Characters fall in love, then out of love, then other characters fall in love, then leave the show. Don’t get all Real World on me, please?  

I have no strong feelings for the season 7 finale of The Walking Dead. Well ok, I did but after finishing the episode, I was like, “Cool. What’s for lunch?”

I remember yelling at my TV while I folded Miles’ tiny socks and shirts, just begging them to not end on some bullshit cliffhanger. I need to know who is dead and alive right now. Fortunately, it wasn’t all grim and ended on a high note. It’s been such a relentless and long season but it paid off in the last episode. People’s roles have been established in the new communities and people are joining forces. It felt like everything was piecing together, and here we are at the end of our separate journeys ready to kick ass together... like a FAMILY.  

I knew Negan wasn’t going to die this season, so I went into this episode expecting a bang but not the end-all be-all conclusion of Negan. He’s too big of a character. This I understand. I actually really like Negan because he genuinely scares me. Occasionally I have to google the actor to make sure he is a nice guy and that him and the actress from White Collar are still happy together. It’s very similar to me constantly googling Mads Mikkelsen when I was watching Hannibal. 

I’ve avoided this series because I couldn’t handle seeing animals get hurt. However, my sister highly recommended these movies and practically started playing it before I could say no. After seeing baby Caesar latch onto James Franco, I was ALL IN. 

I loved these movies and was hoping nothing would harm this army of apes. Even when shit hit the fan while they were on the Golden Gate Bridge, I just prayed that they mowed down all of these cops and cop cars so they would be at peace and have more baby chimps in diapers. 

Perhaps it was also me just loving the idea of a simple life. The simple community they had, the respect and love they had for Caesar, the loyalty -- it was perfect and every time I saw the humans, it annoyed me. The humans felt so weak, so greedy, so indulgent, so of course, it was easy to root for the apes. 

And yes the social commentary of humanity and society and man and greed and blah blah blah. We get it. You get it. I know there is a bigger and deeper discussion about this, but if you’re looking for that, I’m surprised you made it this far in this post. 

I mean, why not? I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen all of the Resident Evils but this is the last one, so why not finish it. I’ve been in a real action movie kick, so I wanted to see Milla Jovovich open a can of whoop ass on the undead and Umbrella evil people. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. There were a lot of fight scenes but I couldn’t see shit because it was heavily edited. Every time she was going to kick preacher dude in the face, the scene would cut and change angle or slightly shift. I don’t think I’m making sense but it was frustrating to watch. Also I was watching this slightly hungover but I doubt that’s the reason why this movie was hard to watch. I wasn’t expecting much because duh it’s a Resident Evil movie, but the expected crazy action sequences couldn’t have been enjoyed. Like what the actual fuck, people? This is Leeloo and she needs her damn swan song. Whoops, wrong movie. 

Sidenote: Alice’s hair is true hairspiration, even in all of its dirt and grime. 

I told you I was in an action film funk. I think it’s because I have little patience for dialogue and slow build up. I blame having a child and having very little time to myself. I need the action and I need it now... because Miles is going to wake up in 30 minutes. 

Tom Cruise, I will always love you. You’re just a classic. You’re the Converse of Hollywood and I love you because of that. With that said, this movie is meh but then again, most of Tom Cruise action movies are meh. I didn’t hate this and would totally watch again because:

1. I was fading in and out of the movie because I was picking out with Besame lipstick I wanted to buy online, so I’m not entirely sure what happened. I am certain that you jumped off a building and it did, indeed, hurt. 

2. Cobie Smulders is beautiful, lovely creature and when she’s not actively playing her role as Agent Maria in the Marvel Universe, this will have to do. (By the way, we will see more of Maria Hill, right? In Agents of SHIELD, perhaps?) 

3. You still foine even for a 54 year old. 

4. Happy it didn’t end with a sappy relationship/romp in the bed blah blah. 

I know that Denzel Washington is the real deal. I knew this but I didn’t know how I knew this... until I watched this movie. When I gush over Denzel (cause we are on blogging first name basis now), I can say, “Denzel WASHINGTON. In American Gangster?! Mmmhmmm That’s when I fell in love.” I know he has a long list of excellent movies, but for me, this is the movie that started my real adoration for him. 

He’s so powerful and frightening and charming in this movie. Respect just spills out of him and his character always has a purpose. No wasted words. No wasted smiles. 

Yeah, he totally blank face just set a man on fire and killed him in the first scene, but you can’t help but root for him. You see his life and the cards he’s been dealt and you justify every dirty deed he does. Frank is just trying to live, ya’ll! He just wants that white man money and he’s working for it! 

There were times I rewatched a scene because I couldn’t get enough of him. Everything he does is thoughtful and layered that I don’t want miss a single thing. This movie is one of my go-to movies, and I need to find more Denzel Washington movies to gush over now. 

[slytheroccamy]

TJLC in The Six Thatchers *SPOILERS*

JOHNLOCK IN THE SIX THATCHERS ( please read, it'll be worth your time I promise) Okay so I watched The Six Thatchers maybe 8 times now and have a few things I would like to point out to provide further evidence that JohnLock will happen in The Final Problem and would like to hear your thoughts! I know this is really long, but I went into extreme detail of the episode and I think it's worth reading, especially since Rebekah is likely not going to make an episode on it. Anyway, without further ado, All evidence of Johnlock in The Six Thatchers. 

 1) On the fridge I'm sure we all saw the pamphlet with the elephant, but directly above it is a post-it note with 13th written on it. I started thinking what this could mean and then realised that including TAB, The Final Problem would be episode 13 of Sherlock. The elephant will be addressed finally in the 13th episode. 

 2) Can we please note the ridiculously not so subtle water imagery throughout the episode? literally overlaying sherlocks face? 

3) the main villan of the episode was refered to constantly (before the reveal of her identity) as Ammo, which we find out actually means Love. and said villan ends up killing mary, the one thing standing between sherlock and john. (sidenote I do love Mary as a character and was sad to see amanda go, I knew it had to be done for the sake of Johnlock)  also, convenient that John now has a child, something John and Sherlock wouldn't of been able to have on their own. 

4) Save John Watson. Save him. Save him Sherlock. Save him from what exactly? Oh I don't know maybe the repressed sexuality he has been hiding all these years? Save him from the pain of staying in the closet? (which is pretty painful, I know from experience. You really do feel saved when you fall in love for the first time) also, Save John Watson; the skip code sent to Mary in the Empty Hearse. In which John was being burned... as in "I will burn the heart out of you" burned. just saying. 

5) Free as a bird. #ohwhatabeautifulmorning Here are the lyrics to oh what a beautiful morning - There's a bright golden haze on the meadow, There's a bright golden haze on the meadow, The corn is as high as an elephant's eye, An' it looks like its climbin' clear up to the sky. Chorus: Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling, Everything's going my way. - Okay how many songs do you know have the word elephant in them? not many, and of course the one song sherlock tweets is about everything going perfectly and mentions a freaking elephant... Also, It's from Oklahoma! the Musical... which you can read about the relevance to in Rebekah's tumblr blog 

 6) John's Blog We get a quick shot of John's Blog in the opening, (the real life counter part of the blog is no longer being updated) but it's important to note that the counter is no longer stuck at 1895! They've broken past the barrier of the suppressive time period! Also, the titles of the blogs (in order of apperance) are:

 221Back! (which from what I can read off the blurred image, is about how he hasn't written in a while and that he'll try to write everything up soon, and that he's going to be a dad) 

 Dusty Death (a case about a woman who's husband drowned, but had sand in his lungs not water.) 

 Unknown Blog Entry (about a man who came in looking white as a sheet and a wound in his hand. We don't know much about this case except that it was the wrong thumb?)

The Duplicate Man (How could Dennis Parkinson be in two places at once and murdered in one of them? Again don't know much excpect that it's never twins.) 

 The Circus Torso (Limbless body found decomposing in trunk in waterloo wouldn't be identified.) 

 The Canary Trainer (Andrew Wilson was an unusual man with an Unusual hobby. He seemed to have no connection to the man whos life was so abruptedly ended one freezing night) 

 The Cardiac Arrest (Joel Fentiman was found strangled in the bedsit he shared with his brother. They had always got on well and there was no sign that the situation had changed... we could never have known that there was a potential assasin lurking close by.) I may be reading too much into this one, but perhaps, since people view sherlock and johns relationship as platonic and brotherly, they share a flat, and according to the non tjlc viewers, there is no sign that that would be changing. and if it were to continue on that way, the more than platonic relationship would die. Strangled. not able to speak. or breathe. Suffocated by an assasin... cough mary cough. Again, could be reading too much into this one. 

 7) Sherlock's Tweets There are many in the first act of the episode and it goes by fast but here is what I could collect in order. 

Free as a Bird 

#ohwhatabeautifulmornin 

#221BringIt! 

 8) The Canary Trainer Woman: "Didn't see that coming" Sherlock: "Naturally" The woman is the viewers, this is made apparent by the fact that she is viewing sherlock over a device and not face to face in person like a typical client. 

 9) John's Missed calls from Mary John has 59 missed calls from mary after he spends all his day with sherlock... hmmm in SIB John mentions that Sherlock has had 57 texts from Irene, sherlock recieves two texts from Irene after this point, Im not dead lets have dinner and goodbye mr holmes. making 59 total texts from Irene. Not sure if there is an important connection here but as mycroft so fondly pointed out, there are no such things as coincidences. so take this as you like. 

 10) Sherlock Watson Sherlock mentions yet again that he wants them to name their daughter Sherlock because her thinks it would sound good, he likes the name Sherlock Watson. Of course Mary and John both remind him that it's not a girl's name, to which Sherlock just grins 

 11) Sherlock is named Godfather to the child. it's a strectch but Father is in the title and Mother is gone by the end so... 

 12) Margaret Thatcher Okay so as the title of the episode and the main story line, this is really important. Margaret was one of the greatest Prime ministers of all british history... except for one glaring flaw... she was very anti-gay. Okay, so, the Welsborough couple are mirrors to John and Sherlock, this is clear from the fact that their case begins with a reflection in a balloon. Also because they say they had no life before they met eachother, much in the way john's blog blatently states he literally had no life whatsoever before he met Sherlock. When they kiss, the wife says "she's looking at us disapprovingly again" referring to the Thatcher bust, this however would make no sense unless it's not refering to them as a straight couple but instead their mirrors John and Sherlock, because as I previously stated, Maragret Thatcher was very anti-gay. Throughout the episode busts of Thatcher are being broken in order to find or free something hidden. The are literally shattering the anti-gay minister in order to free something hidden... come on people. this is so glaring its almost baffling how other a handful of us have figured out the true drive of the show. (side note, the power ranger on Charlies car is blue... guess what the name of the blue power ranger is? Billy. Also he was considered the brains of the group) Later in the show sherlock finally catches on to whats happening with the busts and the following conversation occurs between sherlock and lestraude. 

 L: and now someones wandering about destroying them all. Makes no sense whats the point? 

S: No theyre not destroying them. Thats not whats happening 

L: yes it it 

S:Well it is whats happening but its not the point... Ive been slow, far too slow 

L: well im still being slow over here so if you wouldnt mind... 

S: slow but lucky, very lucky. 

 *takes deep breath* okay. so if we read this conversation with the busts representing heteronormativity in media, or the straight perception of the show, and lestraude as the audience, we are being told that yes the physical busts are being destroyed but thats not the point. the point is johnlock. the general audience still doesnt see it, some people are catching on, but the whole thing has been moving very slow, because the writers dont want to rush it, they want to do this right, and in order to do that they need to build up a story for years, a story that will change the way we see things, but without throwing it at us abruptly and randomly. This is a love story remember, and love stories need build up or it feels forced. and this is something that should in no way feel forced. 

 13) Titles This fun little concersation: *talking about the Ghost Driver case* Sherlock: "Dont give it a title" 

John: "people like titles" 

Sherlock: "I hate titles" 

John: "give the people what they want" 

Sherlock: "no, never do that, people are stupid. 

 Mary: "uhm some people" 

Sherlock: "All people are stupid.... most people." 

 you sure were still talking about blogs boys? Everyone wants to title them as platonic and friends and all this jazz to which sherlock says he hates titles and then goes on to say that most people are stupid, implying that there is a section of people who nderstand and arent blind to the obvious cough cough club tjlc 

14) John's Hair I think it's important to note that John is using a lot more product in his hair this season, and as Sherlock Holmes himself pointed out, Product in the hair is a sign of gayness, previous seasons said john only washed his hair, there was a difference. now hes upgraded to full product, clearly taking more of an interest in maintenance of himself. Not to impress mary, theyre already married what's he got to impress at this point? unless hes not trying to impress anyone it's just for himself. which is according to sherlock, kind of gay. 

 15) SOMETHINGS COMING Throughout the literal entire episode it is constantly repeated that something is coming! The want to make it obvious that it is coming something big is going to happen! Sherlock has a little rant about how by analysing everyones movements and patterns the future is entirely predictable mathmatically. well guess whose been doing that the entire time? Us. The TJCL cool people who have dedicated countless hours into analysing characters to discover that Johnlock will happen in the Final Problem. well done guys yay! Sherlock didn't like the original ending of Appointment in Samarah, she he WROTE HIS OWN ENDING The transition for that scene you may ask? Glass... shattering...onto.....a...shattered...bust...of...antigay...margaret...thatcher .........Guys... come on... they are screaming it to us at this point. 16) Now that youve pointed it out Sherlock talks Mr Kingsley through his deductions, after which mr K states that once he'd explained it, it was quite obvious...(cough cough johnlock) to which sherlock gets offended and making up a bunch of lies, namely, says his wife is the most dangerous spy in the world, operating deep undercover. 

17) game face Theres a weird moment where the margaret bust is transposed onto sherlocks face, and then lestraude says that shelock doesnt look pleased. sherlock replies with "this is my game face". Keeping in mind that Thatcher busts in this episode represent the heteronormativity in media, sherlock is putting on a face, a face to appeal to heteronormativity but he isnt pleased. He isn't pleased with wearing the game face anymore... because it's not a game anymore... johnlock, isnt a gameface anymore and the heteronormative mask is going to come off soon. 

 18) Toby the dog = Johnlock 

J: "Hes not moving" 

S: "Hes thinking" 

J: "Hes really not moving" 

S: "Hes slow and sure john, not dissimilar to yourself" 

J: "You just like this dog don't you" 

S: "Well I like you" 

Mary: "Hes still not moving." 

*enters montage of Sherlock's theme melting into John's chords in a major key. in a visual pattern identical to John and Sherlock running through the streets of london in SIP*

19) Sherlock. Holmes. Falling. Through. Shattering. Glass. Into. A. Pool. Of. Water. With. Waves. Painted. On. The. Walls. Forcing. A. Man. To. Choke. On. A. Waterfall. 

 20) Promotional posters In a poster for the Final Problem, there shows a violin with the E string broken. if anyone has a theory to what this represents please let me know. On a seperate poster john and sherlock are in their chairs staring at eachother with the room flooded in water and a tea cup floating between them 

 21) GWJ GWJ is spray painted on the door outside of the location where Mary and Sherlock meet... Theories for what this stands for? Like... Gay with John? or Go with John? or Gratiss Wants Johnlock? 

 22) So many lies J: so many lies and I dont just mean you. we find out john means the almost affair here, BUT I don't think so. Okay for started the almost affair broke my heart so I wont be talking about it at all, but the fact that it was even considered means John isnt 100% happy in this marraige. He wouldnt even consider it otherwise. But what isnt he happy with? He loves mary, we all do, shes awesome. Hes got a beautiful child, and is still solving crimes with his best friend... unless... unless he Isn't happy with mary because even though he loves her... He loves someone else more... Sherlock. And being around Sherlock all the time and not knowing Sherlock loves him back while being married has got to be taxing and is definately something that could push someone to consider having an affair. Hes sick of lying to mary and hes sick of lying to sherlock. Hes sick of lying to everyone, he just wants to be out of the dang closet guys! 

 23) E Okay. Im not going to talk bout the almost affair because im still mad at John for it, but I have to talk about the mystery woman whom it involved. E. Earlier I said there was a promo image with a violin with a broken string, the E string. Now, when we learn about the lies and the almost affair, we see E through the reflection of the plane window. so we know shes a mirror. But a mirror for whom? John? Mary? She is wearing a rose on a necklace, and we know mary's name is actually Rosamund.If it's mary why would John be having an affair with someone who mirrors his wife? Maybe becuse he feels that Mary is the affair and his real relationship is with Sherlock? We also see E next to a poster for the seasons villan and the words It's Murder. Coming soon. Hes Back. and if E really is a mirror for Mary than that's not that big of a jump since Mary is murdered at the end of the episode. 

 24) The Vauxhall Bridge The Vauxhall bridge is known for it's statues on the pillars which are hidden to anyone on the bridge, and instead only visible to those on the water... a lot of water in this episode guys... a lot. 

 25) When Sherlock sends John and Mary different texts at the same time. to Mary he says "The curtain rises The last act Its not over." Thats a nod to us, the viewers. Telling us when johnlock is going to happen. the last act. The Final Problem. and not to give up hope because of John shutting out sherlock at the end of the episode. Theyre telling it its okay, its not over, all will be revealed in the last act. 26) water water water freaking everywhere opening, water rosies's mobil has fishes, rosie's baptism. Sherlocks face overlayed with water as hes taking to mycroft about destiny. Sherlock fighting with ajay in lots of water Sherlock meeting with Mary in the rain Sherlock standing on a bridge above water Mary getting freaking shot in an aquarium.... SHerlock goes to therapy and what does Ella have on the table? Water. Guys... come on... 

 27) What to do about John? 

S:I need to know what to do

 E:Do? 

S:About John. 

*increased heartbeat is heard in background* 

 What's the worst thing you can do to your closest friends? Tell them the truth. Sherlock hun you gotta tell John how you feel. 

 28) Molly We only see Molly once in this episode and shes a mess. we know shes a john mirror so john is a total wreck at this point, but is really sorry for shutting out Sherlock. 

 29) Closing Can Samarra be avoided? Im looking at the merchant story as the Sherlock Holmes story as it's always been told. Two platonic friends who are just that. And like how Sherlock wrote his own ending, where the merchant goes to another town and lives, Moffat and Gratiss are writing their own end. One where Sherlock and John get to live free and be together. Free from the 1895 lock around their story. Can samarra be avoided? Well it fades to water and then we get Mary telling Sherlock to go to Hell (no idea what that means gunna be completely honest here) but I think that the whole point of the episode is yes. samarra can be avoided. and thats what their going to do. write a new ending. because as moffat says, if youre not writing it to change something, to correct someone, than you shouldnt be writing it at all. 

 SO there we go. Those are all the things I found in the 6 Thatchers. I would love to hear what you all think,. Thank you to anyone who read all the way through. Im so blessed to have been apart of this amazing journey with all of you. Now all we need is a gay disney princess am I right? Seriously though, I love you all and am blessed to be in such a great community here. 

TL;DR johnlock is real. it will happen. and it will happen in the final problem.

[boozedancing]

A while back, G-LO received his usual boozemail, while I received a few “Notices to Occupant” for a rug cleaning service and an online “college” that’s ranked jusssssst slightly below Trump University. While a home filled with hardwood floors might not be the best audience for a rug cleaning business, I’m always in the market for some additional education. And since this “college” swears to have only the bestest professors with the biggest brains, I filed that online “college” paperwork away for later. Enough about me and my endless quest for self improvement (like I’m EVER gonna improve! Just ask Benita. I’m beyond hope. And yet somehow, I’m her “Happily ever after…”), let’s get back to G-LO’s latest bit of boozemail which was quite a doozy.

This time around, G-LO received a mixed six pack from the fine folks at Ninkasi which consisted of three different beers. For those of you keeping score, we received two of each variety which of course means that we didn’t have to argue you about how to divy up the boozemail (or should we call it brewsmail?). I get one of each, and G-LO gets one of each; no tough division of labor problem here! As is usually the case, our only obstacles to getting our reviews done in a timely fashion are the Benevolents and the Urchins and the not to be trifled with monkey wrenches that they throw our way whenever we attempt to get some “work” done.

After several failed attempts at scheduling a research session, we were finally successful in arranging a Night at the Murder Table (which is almost as funny as Night at the Museum, but with more of a Godfather flavor. The night G-LO has cannolis and suggests a ride out to the country, I’m outta there!). With a trio of Ninkasi brews in hand, time to properly research them, and a somewhat hospitable environ in which to taste said brews all lined up, I sauntered over to G-LO’s to get some “work” done (I of course made sure to keep my LifeTime app active as I MUST get all of my steps in lest I get the hose).

The three Ninkasi beers that we tasted are the Yours Truly Easy-Drinking Ale, the Pacific Rain Northwest Pale and the Prismatic Juicy IPA. As far as the drinking order goes, we decided to let the ABV be our guide, i.e. we would sample the beer with the lowest ABV first and then take it from there.

With the excessively long backstory out of the way, let’s get on with the reviews…

Ninkasi Yours Truly Easy-Drinking Ale

Here’s what Ninkasi has to say about their Yours Truly Easy-Drinking Ale:

Brilliant in color, Yours Truly is crisp, and refreshingly effervescent. A dash of hops gives this beer a lightly floral, herbal, and fruity hop profile that subtly dances on the palate. Its sweetly-toasted malt profile carries notes of cracker, cereal, biscuit, and honey. With a smooth finish, Yours Truly leaves you ready for the next sip.

And here’s what we thought of it…

Appearance: Bright yellow with pale orange highlights [Editor’s Note: These are G-LO’s words. Is he describing a strawberry blond co-ed on campus, or a beer? I guess only he knows the answer]. Minimal head and lacing.

ABV: 4.3%

Aroma

Limpd: Malty, doughy, wet cardboard with a hint of allspice.

G-LO: Bright and citrusy on the nose with hints of orange and grapefruit zest and maybe a touch of mango. A bit of honey sweetness [Editor’s Note: This was also G-LO’s nickname at school] on the back-end.

Taste

Limpd: Lightly carbonated with a big malty backbone, minimal sweetness and a slightly hoppy bite as it heads to a smooth finish

G-LO: Lightly carbonated [Editor’s Note: We finally agree on something!]. Not as sweet as I was expecting. A good bit of pithy lemon flavor at the start. Gets mildly bitter in the middle with a bit of astringency as you get to the finish. Ends with more of that lemony bite.

The Verdict

Limpd: Tasty, refreshing and certainly session-worthy. As we head into the warmer weather, this would be a nice beer for some weekend day drinking!

G-LO: Since I went into this beer completely blind, I had no idea what to expect. The nose messed with my palate at first (i.e. it didn’t taste like it smelled). But once I adjusted, I grew to like it. It was a bit too lemony in the end, but overall, an easy-drinking refresher of a beer.

_______________________________________

One down and two to go…

Ninkasi Pacific Rain Northwest Pale

A few words from Ninkasi about their Pacific Rain Northwest Pale:

This flavorful Northwest Pale Ale starts with a balanced, malty sweetness that lays the groundwork for profiling some of the most alluring hops around. Citra, Mosaic, Simcoe and Nugget hop varieties offer a captivating experience with flavor and aroma notes that are citrusy, tropical, floral, and piney. The residual sweetness rounds out the hop flavor making each sip as smooth and refreshing as the last.

And here are our impressions…

Appearance: Pale yellow-orange color with a 1/2 of foam that dissipates quickly.

ABV: 5.4%

Aroma

Limpd: Citrusy (tangerines?) upfront with a good bit of hops and some malty sweetness.

G-LO: A bit maltier than the Yours Truly with a lightly sweet and biscuity malt coming through. Citrusy hops on the back-end with a bit of funk too (think a cycling jersey after a long ride). [Editor’s Note: Why? Why would anyone think of that? More importantly, why would anyone want to drink that?].

Taste

Limpd: Like the Yours Truly, the carbonation is light. Sweet and citrusy (lemonade and honey) with just the slightest hoppy bite in a bitter finish.

G-LO: Lightly carbonated with a medium mouthfeel. Nice balance of malts and hops with a nice wallop of bitterness (but, never overwhelming!) and a lightly bitter finish.

The Verdict

Limpd: Not as flavorful as the aroma had suggested. I thought it was a little muted; not bad, just a little too soft. I think G-LO screwed me; the beer was too cold (OK, so it was my own beer that I brought from home but G-LO took possession and possession is 99 44/100% of the law, or something like that, so G-LO is still to blame). Anyway, as the beer warmed, the flavors really opened up. Right out of the fridge, it was a little meh. As the beer warmed halfway to room temperature, there was a noticeable difference, with the hops taking more of a presence upfront and the balance of flavors becoming far more apparent.

G-LO: Nothing earth shattering going on here. Just a solid, easy-drinking beer that is almost session-worthy given its relatively modest ABV.

_______________________________________

And now for the big finish…

Ninkasi Prismatic Juicy IPA

Ninkasi has the following to say about their Prismatic Juicy IPA:

Full of juicy hop aroma and flavor, Prismatic’s colorful hop experience is citrusy, tropical and fruity with a subtly sweet malt and a balanced finish. Notes of pineapple, passion fruit and guava excite and linger on the palate.

Here’s our take…

Appearance: Lightly cloudy, golden-yellow color. Very little head or lacing.

ABV: 5.9%

Aroma

Limpd: Most fragrant of the three. Very hoppy. Clearly an IPA. More grapefruit and resin with a bit of biscuits.

G-LO: Even more citrus than the first two beers with much more orange and tangerine coming through. Lots of biscuity malts too.

Taste

Limpd: As lightly carbonated as the others. Very malty upfront with a blast of hops that dissipates into some sweetness and then a bitter finish.

G-LO: Smooth and creamy carbonation. Nowhere near the bitterness I was expecting. Lots of lightly sweet and juicy citrus from start to finish. The finish is quite crisp and clean with some lingering citrusy hop bitterness. Also somewhat astringent.

The Verdict

Limpd: I had high hopes for this one but it left me a little wonting. I’m not sure if it was too cold or if the other beers were just more to my liking (I’m not the biggest IPA fan), but too me, this one was only ok.

G-LO: Easily the best of the three. Much like with the other two, not anything other worldly going on, just a well-crafted and very satisfying IPA. Think Comfort Beer.

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Final thoughts

Limpd: I really enjoyed the sampler. I found the Pacific Rain to be the most flavorful (once it warmed a bit), the Yours Truly to be one of the best session-worthy beer that I have had in a while, and the Prismatic to be only okay (as a sidenote, I recently had this one again and found that I liked it much better the second time around). Overall, as with the Sleigh’r, I say “Well done, Ninkasi!”

G-LO: As with our experience with the Sleigh’r, Ninkasi makes a variety of well-crafted, well-balanced and easy-drinking beers. Picking one over another is like picking your favorite child (Yeah, yeah, you love them all the same! Keep telling yourself that). While the Prismatic was my favorite, the other two really weren’t that far behind. It’s just that the IPA style is more to my liking.

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Many thanks to Ali Aasum of Ninkasi Brewing for sending use these VERY generous samples!

Higher Ed, Carpet Cleaning, Urchins, and a review of 3 Hoptastic @NinkasiBrewing #CraftBeers! A while back, G-LO received his usual boozemail, while I received a few "Notices to Occupant" for a rug cleaning service and an online "college" that's ranked jusssssst slightly below…