#big fan of him hes so odd and silly

[orionis13]

Finals have been kicking my ass (badly) HOWEVER! You may have these warmup/cooldown sillies you will never guess what my roommate and I have been reading lately

[gaydogmarriage]

alhaitham is such a lying liar who lies dude. acting like he and the sumeru boys gang have always been besties since forever. "that's how it's always been with the four of us" - man who has barely spoken to most of these people before he decided to team up with them to overthrow the government and regularly skips social gatherings with them. yeah right buddy ok

[lightsoutletsgo]

pretty girl — op.81 (18+)

pairing: oscar piastri x plus-size!reader

word count: 5.1k

warnings: 18+ !! body insecurity, SMUT SMUT SMUT, ABSOLUTE UTTER FILTH; spanking, use of 'sir', creampie x 2 (don’t be silly, wrap ur willy !!), oscar eating you out after cumming inside you, squirting, light choking, Oscar has an obsession with calling you angel, wayyyyy too many pet names @jamminvroomvroom I'm not sorry in the slightest jas 🤭 enjoy! mwah ₊˚❀.ೃ࿔*:･

You weren’t sure how it had started. Maybe it was the pressure online. Maybe it was the ‘fans’. Maybe it was just your own damn mind, but something was eating away at you. It wasn’t Oscar though. Never Oscar. He loved you to no end, treated you like royalty, looked at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky and created the moon with your own hands. 

But sometimes even Oscar’s adoration and affection couldn’t stop the voices in your head from creeping in and planting the seeds of lies in your head; ‘he could do so much better’, ‘you’re not enough’, ‘you need to be better’, ‘you’re not worth his time’, ‘he’s with you out of sympathy’. 

You pulled up your t-shirt and stared at your underwear-clad body. You frowned and glared at your reflection in the mirror, before poking your stomach once again. You turned to the side and noticed how much bigger your thighs were than they had been a few months ago. Your eyes were drawn to the stretch marks that decorated your hips and upper legs, courtesy of your body growing too quickly to keep up with itself. You spotted every single speck of cellulite or mark that made your body look imperfect. 

You looked disgusting. 

At least that’s how you felt. 

You hadn’t always felt like this either. Once, there had been a time when you loved your body, your curves and all of your flaws. But dating a professional athlete, especially one as visually perfect as Oscar, meant you were prone to hate. It had started with a few small comments, that eventually grew into a whole flood of messages and abuse that just got too much. You had let it get to you.

You weren’t yourself anymore. Even you could see that. You didn’t smile as much anymore, and when you did, the smiles weren’t real. They were fake. You felt like you were living from one day to the next, not sure when you woke up the next morning whether you were thankful for that or not. You hardly left the house anymore. Your friends all seemed like the flawless poster girls and you were the odd one out. You’d even begun to push Oscar away from you, instead choosing to lock yourself away. 

Skipping meals had become a regular habit and it was no longer uncommon for you to spend up to twelve hours a week in the gym. It wasn’t just your weight and figure though. When you were out with Oscar you didn’t feel like you looked good enough to be able to stand next to him, let alone hold his hand and walk with him through the paddock in front of all those cameras. Today was day three of you being completely incommunicado with the outside world, and Oscar was worried about you. He had called you and texted you but there was no answer. He called your friends who all said that they too were worried and hadn’t had any answer from you. 

So there you stood in your underwear wearing one of the few of Oscar’s oversized t-shirts that fitted you, pulled up to your chin whilst you inspected and scrutinised your body. You hadn’t noticed the front door unlock, or heard the footsteps coming down the hallway. You heard your bedroom door open and you turned to see Oscar. He visibly exhaled as he saw that you were okay. But then he noticed. How red and puffy your eyes were from crying and how big the dark bags that lined your eyes were from lack of sleep. He slowly made his way across the room to stand in front of you.

You looked down at the floor unable to make eye contact. You felt embarrassed that he was seeing you in this state. You attempted to pull his t-shirt down to cover your thighs as you felt his gaze travel up and down your body. He grabbed your wrist, and brought it up to his lip as he kissed the inside of your wrist. He gently kissed up your arm and over your shoulder before kissing along your collarbones and up your neck. He stopped once he got to your lips and pulled back to look you in the eyes. His heart broke as he watched one single tear trickle down your face and then another and another until eventually your whole body was wracking with convulsive sobs. He pulled you into his chest tightly and held you close. 

Neither of you were sure how long you stood there for, but that didn’t matter. In that moment, all you needed was him, and he was more than happy to provide the comfort you needed. Once your crying had subsided he led you to the bed. You both led down, his arms wrapped around you as you led on his chest. “Y/N?” He said gently, rubbing his hand up and down your arm to help soothe you. “Yeah?” You said sniffling and snuggling into him more. “You know that I love you more than anything right?” He said, staring down at you and kissing the top of your head. You gave a weak scoff, “Yeah right…” Oscar squeezed you tight “I do!” You pulled away from him and sat up “Why?” “Because-“ He started, “Because I’ll tell you why you shouldn’t. I’m disgusting Oscar. I’m fat, I have stretch marks and my thighs are covered in cellulite. I don’t deserve you Osc can’t you see that? Your fans hate me and it’s making me hate myself!” You finished, slightly out of breath and you felt a new wave of tears fall from your eyes. Oscar sat up so you were sitting opposite each other. “Stop.” He commanded, “I don’t wanna hear anymore of that.” He spoke almost angrily; you looked up at him to meet his gaze. He looked like he was about to cry too, “You’re beautiful, angel, can’t you see that?” He said his voice cracking as he reached for your hands, “So what if you’re squishy? I love that about you.” You frowned; slightly confused that this was your boyfriend’s attempt to comfort you. 

“Angel, I will call you squishy and you will be mine, and you will be my squishy!” He said, quoting Finding Nemo as he squeezed your cheeks, forcing your lips into a pout. You giggled at your boyfriend and he smiled, “I don’t care what my ‘fans’ say, they’re not in this relationship, it’s me and you. Your weight doesn’t matter to me. So what if you have larger hips? It just means there’s more of you to love. Plus…” he trailed off for a moment, hands moving down to squeeze your hips, “you aren’t gonna break if things get a little... rough.” He said winking at you. “Stretch marks and cellulite? Angel, you aren’t the only one who has them. Honestly you’re stunning baby.” His compliments made you look down but you smiled slightly, touched by his words.

“See, your smile is beautiful!” He said, gently lifting your chin back up to look at him. “Babe, I also know that you’ve been skipping meals, so how about we order some pizza and watch Finding Nemo?” he suggested, you nodded before leaning up to connect your lips in a sweet kiss.

“Oscar?” You said, as you broke apart, leaning your foreheads together. “Hmmm?” “Thank you.” You said sincerely before he pulled you onto his lap and began to kiss you again, his hands gently creeping underneath the hem of his t-shirt.

Oh well… The pizza could wait.

You sighed into his mouth as he gently bit your bottom lip, pulling away and tugging as his eyes darkened. “Need to see you angel… fuck please?” You nodded shyly, hands slowly dropping to the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing as Oscar’s hand comfortingly rubbed your thighs, tracing gentle circles with his thumbs. You hadn’t had sex in a while. Too terrified to let him see your body and too worried about your insecurities. The last time you’d slept together you’d asked to leave the lights off and keep your t-shirt on. Oscar had been confused and he had obliged then - but no more. He was determined to show you just how damn sexy he found you. 

Oscar noticed your hesitation. “Hold on angel” He pulled away from you slightly to pull his t-shirt over his head. “Look at my back.” He turned and sat facing away from you as your hands delicately traced over the slightly raised zigzag marks that stretched over his back and shoulders… They looked similar to the marks on your stomach and hips that haunted you. “Y-you have them too?” Your voice was quiet and timid as Oscar gave a soft smile, nodding his head, “I went through a pretty quick growth spurt when I was in school and then another one when I got into F2… I always hated looking at them too… until I realised that they were a part of my body and a part of my story of how I’d grown, become stronger, learned what my body could do and what I was capable of.” Your eyes filled with tears as he turned back to face you, “Do you love me any less now you’ve seen them?” 

You shook your head furiously, “Of course not!” “Then why do you hate them so much when you see them on yourself? Do you think I love you any less just because you have them?” Your eyes filled with tears once more as he slowly pushed you to lie down on the bed, crawling on top of you.“Because let me tell you angel… whenever I see them…” His hands dropped to the hem of your t-shirt, sliding it up to expose your hips and panties “They make me feel…” He leaned down to press kisses to the lines across your hips between each word,“ So” kiss “fucking’” kiss, “feral…” 

“Your cute tummy?” He paused to blow raspberries on your soft stomach making you squeal with laughter “adorable!” “Your thighs…” He moved back down slightly to bite at them, making your back arch and a soft moan tumble from your lips. “I think about having them wrapped around my head about 7 times a day… and fuck angel…” He slid his hands underneath your ass and squeezed, “This ass? Might just take the title of world’s best ass…” You giggled as you reach down to cup his face,

“Actually baby I’m pretty sure that title belongs to Bottas” He moved up your body and paused as he thought for a moment before nodding, “True…” He nodded jokingly before leaning down to nuzzle his nose against yours. He left hot open mouth kisses against your neck and collarbones, making you squirm and let out breathy moans. Distracted by how good he was making you feel, you didn’t realise his hands were moving your t-shirt up until he sat you up slightly to pull it over your head.

You fell back against the sheets wearing just your panties as Oscar knelt over you, you heard him inhale through his teeth as he drank in the sight of your soft, plush body in his bed, “Wanna take you so badly angel…” His hands were everywhere as he grabbed your hips, your thighs, your ass, your breasts. Like he couldn’t get enough of you. “Touch me please Osc” He stared down at you, smirking slightly, “Where do you want me to touch you angel?” Your face grew hot and your heart rate sped up. You knew what he wanted you to say. Even after this long it still flustered you. “Want you t-to touch m-my pussy… p-please.” He cooed at you as his hand stroked your cheek, “Good girl…” One hand dropped to your pussy as he pushed your panties to one side, a single finger trailing up your slit, collecting the arousal already dripping out of you, finger moving to his mouth in an effort to tease you - it worked.You whined and shook your hips impatiently as he chuckled lowly, “I’ve got you sweet girl…” His fingers moved back to your entrance, slowly pushing one in as more needy whines tumbled from your mouth, “Please Oscar, want it, need it!” He smiled down at you, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your mound, “Fuck you’re such a good girl, you know that right? My. good. girl.” He emphasised each word with a curl of his fingers to graze against your g-spot. “Oscar- Sir!” He growled at your use of that specific title and pushed another finger in, head falling back in a silent moan at how tight you feel around his fingers. “You’re so needy for me angel, hmmm?” He pouted in mock sympathy, “s’okay baby I’ll take care of you.” 

He leant over your torso, softly kissing your breasts and leaving pretty red and purple marks to decorate your chest along with your stretch marks, “So fucking pretty… should be in a museum or a gallery…” he mumbled as he admired his artwork, your arms moving to wrap around his neck, pulling him down until his forehead rested against yours. Your hips bucked up into his hand as he continued to thrust his fingers into your pussy, the palm of his hand grinding against your clit. He paused for a moment, growling at the way your panties got in the way “Oscar!” you exclaimed as he ripped them off of you, “I‘ll buy you some new ones angel, it’s fine…” He quickly pushed his fingers back into your tight hole as you felt a warm sensation growing in your lower stomach. 

“That feeling good pretty girl?” He crooned down at you almost condescendingly as his fingers sped up. Breathy moans and whiney pants were all that left your mouth as you could feel yourself climbing higher towards that peak, the coil in your stomach threatening to burst. “Such a good girl for me, so sweet angel” Oscar growled above you, “Fuck! Oscar-” you wailed out as he leant down to bite your neck, teeth nipping, sure to leave a mark. “You’re mine angel… my pretty girl…” Those words were the last push you needed as you felt your orgasm explode. Your eyes shut tightly as your legs tensed up, thighs closing and locking Oscar’s hand between them. He chuckled at your out-of-breath form and pressed soft kisses to your hairline as he calmed you down, gently praising you. “Such a good girl, you’re so beautiful angel, love you so much…” You smiled up at him, hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him down to meet your lips, hot and passionate. “Want you inside me Oscar please!” You mumbled against his lips, he pulled back, stripping his lower half of his sweats and underwear, “Course angel... “ Your head tilted to one side in confusion when you saw him lie down next to you on the bed. He patted his thighs, “Want you to ride me pretty girl, wanna see my gorgeous girl on top of me.” You faltered as you heard his words, “I don’t know Osc I-” “Y/N,” he sat up suddenly, the use of your name showing you he was serious, “I want you to do this… Not just for me but for you too. You’re perfect my love… I love you because of who you are as a person. Your insanely hot body is just a bonus…” He grabbed your hands, gently helping you straddle his thighs. “So… come and take what’s yours angel…”

You climbed on top of him, sliding your wet cunt up and down his shaft which was throbbing against his abdomen. Hot and hard, you could feel yourself salivating at the thought of him sliding into you and stretching your pussy. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby, you want my cock in your pretty little pussy?” You whined needily, hands falling to Oscar’s chest, nails digging in slightly as you grinded even faster, “H-help please…” you begged. Oscar gently shushed you, one hand reaching down to grasp his cock and push it into you, “There you go baby, take your time- that’s it.” His hands gently caressed up and down your plush sides, gripping the flesh and relishing in the way his fingers sank into your soft hips and thighs. “Look at you… you’re fuckin delicious…” His head fell back as you sank all the way down to the hilt, a desperate moan leaving your lips at the slight sting you felt. No matter how many times you took Oscar’s cock, the stretch was always delectable. “Fuck! Your pussy is so tight… you gonna milk my cock angel?” You nodded desperately, starting up a slow rhythm, your tits bouncing slightly as your ass slapped against his thighs.

Between the two of you, the room was filled with the most pornographic noises, moans, whines, skin-on-skin and the sounds of your wet cunt. Your eyes shut as your head fell back, speeding your pace up. “Look at you… you’re a goddess, baby…” Oscar couldn’t take his eyes away from your form, a light sheen of sweat covered your body as your breasts and thighs jiggled with each firm slam of your hips. Your eyes slowly fluttered shut as your lips parted, releasing the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. How could you ever think you were not beautiful? One of his hands snaked down from your hips and began to rub your clit with his thumb, making your walls spasm around him. He growled out a low moan. “Oscar… Sir!” You cried out, “gonna cum!” You nails raked down his chest as you felt his thick cock reach deep into you, tip touching your cervix. “Shit!” Oscar hissed as he felt your nails digging in, desperately grabbing onto him in an effort to keep yourself from floating away. He grabbed your hips, lifting you up and down slightly to help you keep moving on his cock. “You close? Hmmm?” You nodded, flopping down onto his chest as the burning in your thighs forced you to give out, “I’ll help you angel don’t worry,” Oscar soothed you as his hands wrapped around your back, planting his feet on the bed to begin thrusting up into you. “You feel so so good angel, such a sweet little cunt…”

You mewled in response as his hips pistoned into you. “Please, please, please, please please- oh fuck!” Your orgasm hit you like a freight train, so sudden it overtook your whole body, feeling it in every limb from your fingertips to your toes. “There you go, atta girl…” Oscar crooned as his thrusts became uneven, he spilled into you, cock throbbing as his cum filled your pussy. “Milk my cock that’s it…” he moaned as your quivering cunt continued to spasm around him. 

He planted kisses all over your face, making you giggle as his arms tightened around you. You led against his chest for a moment, head fuzzy from the intensity of your orgasm, before you realised you could quite possibly be squashing your boyfriend. You gasped and shot up to roll off of him but his arms stayed firmly locked around you, leaving you unable to move, “Oscar…” You struggled a little making him laugh, “Oh absolutely not sweetheart, you are staying right here, until I say so.” You continued wriggling much to his disdain and you whimpered as a sharp spank landed against your ass cheek “Oscar!” He raised an eyebrow as he looked up at you, “Then will you behave?” You looked away, face burying into his neck once more, “Just don’t wanna squash you…” Oscar sighed contentedly, “I love how it feels when you squash me though?” You scoffed and another spank hit your ass, slightly harder than the last. Your hips wiggled and squirmed and Oscar grunted at how sensitive he was, gripping your hips to still you once again.

“Easy there sweet girl…” His voice was right there in your ear and the closeness sent shivers down your spine, pussy clenching around him subconsciously. “Oh that’s it.” Oscar growled, sitting up with you still in his lap, “Wha– Oscar?!” “I’m not fucking joking around baby.” You looked at him, his eyes flashing with lust and you felt that fire ignite in your tummy again. Oh you were so fucked. He gripped your chin softly, lips hovering right above your own, “I’m gonna lie back down,” your eyes rolled back as you practically felt his words against your lips, “and you’re gonna sit on my face.” Your eyes shot open, “R-really?” His answer was placing his lips over yours, biting and sucking your bottom lip, his hands guiding your hips to grind in his lap as your hands gripped his shoulders, “Really.” He led back down and you whined as he slid himself out of you, his cum dripping down your thighs already, “Wait, but… you came insi–” “It’s my mess isn’t it? So I should clean it up.” You practically melted on the spot as he beckoned you towards him, “Now come here angel and take a seat… Every goddess needs a throne right?”

You giggled despite how serious he was being and crawled up his body until his face was right underneath your pussy. You knelt up, hands grabbing the headboard as Oscar traced gentle kisses over your thighs, hands grabbing your ass. You could feel his breath against your pussy lips and you clenched around nothing, another drop of his cum and your wetness dripping down to where his mouth was ready and waiting. He moaned at the taste of the two of you mixed together and decided enough was enough. Gripping your ass tighter he licked a long stripe from your entrance up to your clit, landing a quick little kiss against your sensitive bud for good measure.

You giggled out a moan at the feeling, but Oscar was frustrated, “Angel, I told you to sit on my face.” “I am!” Oscar rolled his eyes, “No you’re hovering… I told you to fucking sit–” His arms wrapped round your hips and pulled you down onto his face, moaning loudly as he was suddenly smothered by your cunt, causing a whimper to leave your mouth at the vibrations Oscar ate you out like a man starved, tongue fucking your pussy and nose rubbing against your clit as one of your hands flew to his hair, pulling and tugging as you couldn’t help the way your hips started grinding against his tongue, “Fuck. Yes angel…”, “that’s it”, “just like that”, Oscar gasped out between breaths as he drowned in your pussy. You looked down and gasped. He looked feral. His eyes rolling back as he licked and sucked every inch of your pussy he could get too. 

He pulled you up for a moment and you panicked slightly, were you hurting him? He must have seen your expression because he was quick to run his hands up and down your hips in a soothing manner, “I need you to use my face angel, grind on my tongue, fuck my face okay baby?” “What if I suffocate you?” Oscar groaned, “What a perfect fucking way to go…” He trailed off as you dropped your pussy back onto his waiting tongue, following his instructions and grinding your soaking cunt back and forth.

The noises Oscar was making were driving you crazy and each growl, moan and praise had you moving even more enthusiastically. A loud whine escaped you as his nose caught your sensitive clit at just the right angle.You could feel it building in your stomach, rising up from your toes all the way to the top of your head. “Fuck Osc, feels so fuckin good…” You mumbled out, barely able to form a sentence. A grunt from Oscar told you he was happy to hear that, “Yeah? Don’t stop angel.” “W-want more…” Your voice was breathy as he continued to push you towards the edge, “What d’you need?” “Your hands on my ass… Please?” You begged, “Already touchin’” “N-no please… harder… wanna see your handprint on my ass…” You squealed as a heavy swat fell against your ass, “Oh my god Oscar, fuck yes!” You cried out, “More! Harder! Make me fucking take it, I’ll be so good for you Osc I promise!” You babbled out as you felt the way he made your ass sting over and over and you couldn’t help the way you grabbed his hair tighter as you felt him fucking smile against your pussy, “I’m gonna cum… Oscar…” You warned him but that only seemed to invigorate him, the most obscene noises coming from your boyfriend between your legs, “Fucking soak me baby come on… please fuck…” Oscar was practically begging into your pussy as your hips stuttered, head falling back as your mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Oscar groaned as your pussy leaked your orgasm into his mouth, leaving gentle licks and soft kisses over your clit to help you ride out your high.

You slumped to the side, not wanting to actually suffocate your boyfriend and your eyes widened when you saw how hard he was, his cock pink and pretty and throbbing. Oscar was unashamed as he brought one hand down to stroke himself, neck straining. “Can’t help it angel, it’s just what you do to me…” You watched, transfixed, as your boyfriend slowly and leisurely fucked his hand. You felt yourself salivate and you leaned forward, gently blowing cool air across the tip. You watched as it throbbed and leaked more precum. Oscar watched you through half-lidded eyes as you made yourself comfortable between his legs. “Having fun there angel?” You nodded, looking up at him and looking into his eyes, “Just wanna return the favour…” You pressed a kiss to the tip and giggled at the way he shivered and goosebumps ran along his thighs, “Behave angel…” You nodded, tongue peeking out from your mouth to kitten lick the tip. Oscar groaned one hand gently smoothed your head, “so fuckin’ good to me… but this is about you…” He sat up and gently cupped your face with his hand, “I love you, so much.” He said the words with so much conviction you felt your eyes get glassy, “I love you too…” His lips met yours more softly, more intimately than they had before. You felt his thumb gently trace over your cheek as you tasted yourself and him on his tongue. That thought drove you crazy and you found yourself pulling him closer to you as your other hand grabbed the back of his head and gently pulled the hair there. He moaned, a beautiful sound and his open mouth allowed you to slip your tongue inside, sucking and licking gently on his.

You pulled apart and noticed how your lips were still connected by the spit dripping from both of your mouths. God sex with him was always so hot. It seemed he still wasn’t done with you though as he indicated for you to turn around. You did so and caught sight of your body in the mirror. You gasped at how fucked out you looked. Oscar smirked as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. One hand sliding round your plush tummy and the other sliding up to gently hold your neck. He kissed your neck, “Look at you angel… my pretty girl, all fucking mine.” You leaned back against him and he smiled, “So now you’re gonna watch me remind you that you’re mine. You’re gonna watch how well you take me, how your body was made for mine, how pretty you look when I make you cum." He gently pushed you forward until you were on all fours.

You felt him line himself up with your pussy behind you and you felt like the air was knocked out of you as he thrust in in one smooth motion. He felt so much bigger, thicker, deeper at this angle. The look on his face told you he was feeling how much tighter this angle was too. His hands used your hips as leverage as he languidly thrust in and out of you. You hummed happily as you felt a sharp sting across your asscheek in the shape of his handprint. That reaction spurred Oscar on and your moans got louder as his thrusts got harder, pounding into you, his hips slamming into your ass with a satisfying slap. 

Your head dropped to the comforter at the way his cock dragged against your walls, setting your nerves alight. He leaned forward over the top of you and grabbed your throat once more, “Oh nuh uh angel… look,” His eyes met yours through the mirror, “you don’t get to look away… just watch how pretty you look while I fuck you…” You couldn’t help the way your eyes closed, the feeling too good to deny, Oscar tutted loudly and stopped moving his hips in and out, instead circling them while he was deep inside you. You couldn’t make any noise, just let your mouth hang open. You shuddered and whined, desperately humping back onto his cock. “Oh fuck me angel…” Oscar’s hand quickly found your clit and you whimpered loudly, “I’m not gonna last much longer!” “Me either angel, it’s okay…” Your eyes shot open as you suddenly felt a familiar sensation between your legs, “Oscar…” you warned him, his head dropped to your shoulder as his hips began rolling into yours again, “I know angel, I feel it, it’s okay… make a pretty mess for me.” His head looked back up to make eye contact with you once more, “Cum for me angel.” He whispered and it was like a trigger had been pulled.

With a loud cry, your whole body shook. White-hot pleasure spilling over, toes curling and walls clenching tightly as you soaked your boyfriend’s cock and his hand, squirting all over the sheets below,  “Fuckkkk angel yes yes yes just like that!” You felt his thrusts speed up as he pushed himself to another orgasm. His cock throbbed so hard inside you that you felt it and you hummed contentedly, filled up with Oscar’s cum once more. “Holy shit baby…” Oscar planted kisses down your back as he moved to pull out of you. You shuddered at the feeling of his cock pulling out.Oscar flopped onto his back and opened his arms, a silent invitation to cuddle, “I love you.” A soft kiss landed against your forehead, “I love you.” A kiss to his chest, “You’re so beautiful Y/N, I mean it. My pretty girl.” He squeezed you tighter in his arms and you giggled.  “So,” he sighed contentedly, “how about that pizza?” 

[verstappenf1lecccc]

Anything that involves Toto Wolff with wife reader. Idc, fluff and suggestive. Thanks!! :)

The Beast

i am so sorry for how long this took!! i hope you like it and if you do have any suggestions let me know :)

being with toto was exhilarating to put simply. Everyone knew him as the big bad Wolf and it wasn’t a bad description of him it just needed a little bit of context.

The Mercedes tables and head sets had often been the brunt of Totos anger and frustration but behind the tough guy facade was a kind hearted husband.

Every now and then especially after a bad race the media loved to make him seem like a villain, but unfortunately this time they chose you.

You had once faced the brunt of how unfair the media could truly be.

Having only just brushed hands with Fred and have given him a small smile the media made it seem like you were out there cheating on toto with his championship rival snitching out the teams secretes for quick hookups.

You were truly blissfully unaware of what was going on as your husband had warned you about the dangers of social media especially as passionate fans would often end up flooding the drivers wife or girlfriends comments or dms if their favorites were not performing.

This was coming from a rather nasty encounter Carmen and Lilah had with fans so you knew better then to search up your name on the internet.

You thought you were safe from the heat of Mercedes not performing well up until a nasty member of the media and a quite loyal Mercedes fan had shoved you hard towards the ground accusing you of being a slut and a whore and why Ferrari were getting better then Mercedes.

Hot tears pricked your eyes, they almost burned like acid. How could he say that, did he not know that you had sworn your life to toto.? your head pounded after just being assaulted and called a slut in the middle of the paddock and then being forced to be the brunt of all the paddock gossip.

You had always vowed to be loyal to toto and to always be honest with any feelings that might come between the two of you

Unfortunately you had broken the second vow, knowing how protective your husband tended to be in normal situations you knew it was best for his PR image and team to not let him know of this incident.

However the wounds you had suffered from the rough fall were rather prominent, you simply decided to tell your husband if he would notice and ask that you had a rather silly fall.

But before all of that you really wanted a nice quiet corner to let out the tears you were holding back. You knew the lack of your presence would not be noticed as toto had a rather long team meeting.

Hastily you made your way to the front of the lady’s bathroom and simply lost it. You let everything out, the pain from the fall the humiliation the insulting words everything. The only thing that was able to muffle your cries so as to not alert anyone was your own hand.

You finally exited the bathroom after what seemed like ages when realistically it wasn’t more than half an hour. It wasn’t long until you retreated into the Mercedes motorhome beyond exhausted and frankly just needing your husband but alas you couldn’t tell him.

With millions of thoughts echoing your mind you slowly let yourself find sleep in the corner of Toto’s room.

Blissfully unaware of what was going to happen.

Toto knew he was a lucky bastard it wasn’t the amount of championship he had that made him come to that conclusion it was the fact that he had you out of all odds. He knew you inside out, knowing when you are well or unwell just by simple actions.

Toto prided himself in his abilities to comfort and protect you. So when he didn’t find you eagerly waiting near his side after the long meeting he knew something was wrong. The two of you were peas in a pod always close, something was surely up.

He made his way out of the motorhome on his way to try and figure out where his wife had wandered off to, he was told by multiple staff that they had last seen you near the ladies bathroom inside the motorhome. Toto simply made his way back inside his room only to find you curled up on the corner.

He chucked a little, just when he thought you couldn’t get any more adorable. His chuckle however was cut short when he noticed the small red cuts around your hands and palms and how your eyes seemed red and irritated not to mention the fact that your lashes were still wet.

He had this feeling that something most definitely had happened to his love and he wasn’t going to spare whosoever had hurt her.

Your sleep was quickly interrupted by your husband who looked rather cross. Without looking at him you quickly wiped your eyes and face jusy to get rid of the signs of your meltdown.

Toto the ever wise fox had noticed. He called you forward and quickly took your hands in his larger ones and simply asked what had happened.

You couldn’t help it, all the tears that you had cried out came back this time even worse. In a blink of an eye you were pulled towards your husbands chest and blubbered what had happened so much for keeping it a secret from him.

You noticed how the German man’s fists were getting more and more tighter almost to the point of it turning red. You knew this wasn’t going to end well and had made him swear that he would not do anything that would hurt him and the teams image.

With an annoyed sign he agreed and simply held you closer, and whispered nothing but angry German curses and how badly he wanted to run into the guy and give him a piece of his mind.

It had been a while since the incident happened, however social media got a whiff of all that occurred and had conducted their own little investigation which lead to the identity and basic information of your assaulter being leaked. You had no clue about this but toto he was having a field day.

Although he had promised you that he wasn’t going to do anything he hired a team of lawyers to sue your attacker named Paul for everything he had done.

Later that day toto held a press conference to bring light to the story and in rather stern terms explain how much he trusted you and how Bull shit the claims of the man were.

News got out of his actions and fans quickly swooned over your husbands reaction.

toto and you were laughing to all the tweets that were coming out saying how much of a protective mother hen toto really was and how fans wished that the both of you would remain ever so happier.

toto was never a villain without a reason, he just needed a little bit of context that’s all. his context came in the shape of you.

oh and toto made sure to permanently ban paul from all circuits 🤭

[goofy-clan]

Heyo! Narrator peep and creator of goofy clan! I wanted to share this fanart I made as a gift to the clan series that inspired this entire series! Enjoy!!

And now it’s time to pair cat with creator! Click more to see notes I left for the creators too!

————————————————

Goldsight belongs to @gray-thistleclan , I loved the way the cats were drawn in this series, and especially how the story progressed! Gold was always my favroite -w-! Even though she has the crazy disease now ;-;.

Eukltna belongs to @loudclan-clangen ! I loved the silly cats in this series, the artstyle actually helped me draw mouths easier! I love our doomed religious kitty, even if she was a bit odd. That crude oil does get everywhere huh…

Longstrike belongs to @juniper-clan ! The fact that the entire series was set in olden times is really neat! I also love the theme of seashells/ cowrie shells being bad, those are spooky! Long was my favroite, I was sad to see him go. So he’s drawn in the cozy sunshine!

Tigertoe Belongs to @circus-clangen ! Circus clan was actually a big inspiration for the puzzles/cipher aspects of my blog! I was always a sucker for finding stuff out, plus clowns are cool! I love tiger with all my heart, she was so fun to draw! Best entertainer :)!

Ravenstar belongs to @fallenclan ! Oh boy where do I start. I think it’s super impressive how far the series is now, even if I picked up halfway through! I love how the cats look, fun fur colors! Raven is such a good villain, evil stinky cat. So here he is with a totally real (and not painted) star!

Kestrelstar belongs to @echoes-in-echoclan ! I love this series, even though I don’t get what’s going on sometimes, it’s still a wonderful read! I also loved the connected universe with circus clan, what a twist! Kestrel is my favorite, he’s such a cool old dude!

Sweetkit belongs to @mourningsbane ! It isn’t every day I see a eldritch horror/spooky clangen series! As an avid horror fan, I love how body horror is drawn and shown in this series! Honey is the best cat :)! But, I drew sweet today! They’re a good protagonist, because who better to explore the spooky uknown than kittens?

NettleIris belongs to @moons-of-dewclan ! I adored the art style of this series, and the fact all the backgrounds are drawn so beautifully! Even though this series tugs at my heart strings, it’s lovely! Makes me wanna go wander in the woods! Nettle is my favorite lil’ peep, best medicine cat. Plus, puffy cats are fun to draw!

ConiferSun belongs to @castaway-clan ! I love the trope of “rebuild and build anew” in clangen runs! Seeing the clan in this series slowly grow in size and for the leader to not be alone anymore was very comforting. Conifer is my favorite simply because they’re blue and just a wonderful cat in the series! They also get to look at the lady bug :)!

And that’s all! Y’all are cool Peeps, keep on rocking!

[thetarttfuldickhead]

There was this post a little while back suggesting that Beard gets kicked out by Jane and moves in with Higgins and that’s very narratively satisfying and right, given that Leslie’s the one person daring to tell Beard that his relationship with Jane isn’t, you know, great. However, I’m a Roy & Jamie girl at heart, so I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Beard instead moved in with his fellow fan of few words, ie one Roy Kent.

Say, for instance, that Roy and Jamie are fucking/dating/what have you and Jamie gets it into his pretty, silly head that they can somehow hide the fact from Beard. Roy tells him stop being an idiot, of course he’s going to know if he’s staying here, only way to keep it from him if you keep away until he finds another place to live, and fuck no, I’m not moving in with you, how the fuck would I explain that, and anyway your fucking headboard would give me a migraine.

Well, Jamie says mulishly, I’m not staying away.

Fine, Roy says, secretly a little relieved. So he’ll know. Big fucking deal.

And in this version of events Roy really is cool with it, because it has to come out sooner or later and he’s not ashamed and it’s not like Beard’s gonna say anything (Roy may or may not be mistaken in this assumption), and anyway, he’s Roy Kent, he does whatever the hell he wants, okay. Only Jamie doesn’t accept that, because he has this strong and somewhat misguided notion that he needs to defend Roy’s honour by not letting anyone suspect he’s fucking his player. So Jamie starts making up increasingly absurd excuses as to why he should show up at Roy’s place like having some work done at my house and Roy was concerned I’d be breathing in poisonous fumes, yeah, so he said I had to come over here and um, Coach, I think I strained my calf today, could you maybe take a look here in the bedroom ‘cause my back hurts too and I need to lay down and yeah, Beard’s eyebrows are not as psychotic as Roy’s but they certainly climb and climb and climb. Later in the evening he just glances at Roy, so, you and Jamie, huh? And Roy shrugs, unconcerned, yeah, and pours himself another cup of tea. He doesn’t tell Jamie that they’ve been made, though; it’s still kind of fun watching the muppet make a fool of himself. Besides, the idea of their encounters being particularly illicit seems to really get Jamie going, so.

Alternatively, Jamie agrees to stay away, and then proceeds to do everything in his power to set Beard up with someone else so that Beard can be happy and move in with his new friend and Jamie can go back to shagging his grumpy old boyfriend all over the house. The attempts are predictably absurd, but also oddly sweet (‘cause Jamie wants the relationship to last, right, so that Beard doesn’t come knocking on Roy’s door again anytime soon, so obviously he needs to find someone properly nice, but it’s hard for him to figure what nice means to someone as odd as Beard).

(These two scenarios work if Keeley’s part of the mix, too, btw. She can either join in Jamie’s antics because she’s a weird girl at heart, or she can be the voice of reason if a voice of reason is what gets you going.)

Or say that Roy and Jamie really are just friends (for the moment, at least) and it’s Roy that gets a little nervous about Beard realizing just how close they are. Like, he’s reluctantly cool with everyone knowing that Jaime is his favourite player (though of course he’d deny it if someone dared say it to his face) or them knowing that Roy spends stupid amounts of time torturing training Jamie, but he’s not quite comfortable having people know that they also just… hang out. That Roy cooks Jamie dinner. Leaves Phoebe with him when Roy’s busy with a coaching crisis. That they watch stupid shit on the telly together, and that Roy doesn’t complain (much) when Jamie curls up to him like a cat. That stuff’s private, all right? So he stops having Jamie over, starts brushing him off, and at first Jamie’s undeterred because if he let Roy’s grumpiness get to him he’d never not be gotten to, but Roy persists and Jamie starts to wilt, hurt and confused. In the end, Beard – wise, all-seeing Beard – fixes Roy with one long stare and notes that there’s nothing wrong with having a friend, Coach. Plenty wrong with being shit to the ones you’ve got, though, and Roy doesn’t even yell fuck he just stands there, stony like, until he jerks a short nod and stalks off to make things up to Jamie.

Anyway, the idea of Beard bearing witness to Roy and/or Jamie being particularly ridiculous about each other is very funny, to me.

(I tried to hunt down that original post because even though I didn’t want to add to it and derail OP’s poignant take with my Roy & Jamie obsession, I still want to credit them for the original idea. Couldn’t find it, however, but please give me a shout if you have a link. Aha! @coachbeards is the original galaxy brain!)

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Mystery of love

Next chapter

a/n look I am wine drunk and I have thoughts. 🤷‍♀️

summary: when two lost souls meet at their mutual friend’s party sparks fly, the question is if whatever they feel can actually bloom into something more? But that’s the mystery of love.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was silly truly. You weren’t big fan of parties. You didn’t ever go out really. In the beginning, it was because people didn’t invite you anywhere. You weren’t the cool kid and nerds, well, they aren’t loved all that much through high school. Then you simply outgrow that phase. Life and real responsibilities caught up with you and now you would rather spend your time at home, curled up with a book than drag yourself home from god knows what parts of the city at odd hours.

But this Friday was different. Your friend and her partner were hosting a shared birthday party. And while you could have excused yourself if it was only her boyfriend's party now that she was also celebrating hers, it meant that you didn’t have it in yourself to lie through gritted teeth. So that’s how you found yourself a homemade pie in hand, flowers beneath your armpit as you waited for someone to open the door.

“Y/n”, a loud squeak made a smile break out on your face, “And with your infamous pie. Matt, she brought the pie I told you about”, Emmy turned back, yelling over the corridor. “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it”, she clasped your upper arm in excitement, “It’s just been me and the guys, need to balance it out, you know”, she chuckled, ushering you inside.

“Everyone this is Y/n, the best friend!”, Emmy skipped into the kitchen, gesturing to you as if you were the prized possession that had to be shown off. You felt your face heating up immediately. You hated being put in a spotlight like that, yet you managed to give an awkward wave. Trying to listen in to all the names shouted around the room. Letting your eyes fall from face to face carelessly. The chances of meeting these people…

Your gaze halted as you did a double take. Bringing your gaze back to those warm chocolate orbs that looked directly at you. It seemed as if everyone had moved on. Bickering about toppings for pizza. But it’s as if you two had been glued, nether managing to look away. “Matt, the boyfriend”, you blinked a couple of times turning your attention to the side. “So the friend finally meets the infamous man”, you chuckled under your breath, leaning into the side hug he was offering. “She talks loads of you, shame I’m only meeting you now”, Matt smiled at you and you quickly returned the gesture, “Trust me, I know awfully a lot about you too”. “Should I be worried?”, he chuckled, eyes falling on Emmy, fighting her way over cheese by the counter. “No, it’s mostly good stuff”, you shrugged, as you both chuckled to yourselves.

While the evening was fun the more the time passed the more the house turned into a frat party. You glanced at your phone for what felt like a thousand times. The location of your apartment was typed into the Uber app almost an hour ago, making you feel like a shit friend since for the most part all you had been thinking about was going home. That and the brown eyes that had followed you through the night.

“Wine?”, you flinched slightly, locking your phone. “Or are you already going somewhere else?”, startled you turned to the voice behind you, ready to give your best excuse only to feel them all die down at the sight of the same brown eyes. You simply turned your glass towards him, while trying to come up with anything proper to say.

“I’m Noah by the way”, he mused tilting the bottle to fill up your glass once more. “Yn”, you muttered. “Oh, I remember”, he smiled up at you, making your cheeks turn crimson even more. “Sorry, just so many people and faces, I’m awful with names”, you whined giving him an apologetic smile. Noah simply shook his head, “Trust me, it’s almost refreshing”. You let his words wash over you as you both fall into silence once more.

“So… Where were you planning to run off to and can I join?”, Noah’s words took by surprise as you turned to him once more. A light chuckle slipped past your lips, “I was planning on going home”, you admitted with a little shrug. “Matt’s cooking not to your liking?”, his words instantly sent panic running through your veins. “Oh, no, no, it was so good. Emmy talks about his food so much and…”, you instantly felt like defending yourself, “Hey, I’m only joking”, Noah cut in, “I didn’t… Shit did I just get you all worked up over that?”, he ran a hand over his mouth looking at you.

You started at one another for a while before both falling into fits of laughter. “Sorry, shit, it’s been a while”, Noah shook his head. “No, it’s fine, I’m too introverted for this”, you brushed him off, reaching for your glass. “Can I be honest?”, Noah asked, stepping closer so he could stand beside you. You simply nodded, watching him take a sip out of the bottle. “I haven’t been able to look away from you”, he admitted, “Sounds so fucking childish but… There’s something about you”, Noah mussed turning to look at you once again. “Maybe it’s the wine?”, you shrugged, trying to not let his words make your heartbeat pick up. “I was dead ass sober when I first saw you, sweetheart”, he muttered, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you tried to keep that smile at bay. His fingers carefully caressed your jaw before brushing over the bottom of your lip. “You would never like me sober”, you mussed pulling back. “And how would you know that?”, he pushed on, determined to keep you close. “I’m nothing like Emmy”, you pointed out, glancing back towards the kitchen where people were dancing around the counter. “Who said that I like girls like Emmy?”, Noah’s words made a shiver run down your back. “Guys always choose girls like her over girls like me”, you chuckled, taking an eager gulp of the wine in your glass. The last thing you needed was to unload years of insecurities onto a stranger.

“Funny, girls only started looking at me now, I was never the first choice”, Noah shrugged making you glance back at him. “Yeah, right”, you snorted, not able to imagine a universe where someone would pass an opportunity to date someone like him. “A strange nerd with a lisp doesn’t rank highly, darling”, he grunted making you frown, “Don’t say that about yourself”, you argued back. “Ah… But you can put yourself down?”, he smirked back at you with that knowing grin.

“Fine, we both are weird. Happy now?”, you shook your head. “Would be happier if you would go on a date with me”, Noah’s words sent another cold shower down your back. You watched him for a heartbeat. He looked like a lover boy. A black hoodie, sweet eyes. That smile. Only the tattoos covering his hands indicated a more dangerous side of him. The side you had a feeling would pull you under. “Very funny, but I’m not falling for this”, you shot him a tight smile, reminding yourself that there wasn’t a universe where a guy like him would fall for a girl like you. “You don’t know me, yet you are putting labels on me”, his hand wrapped around your upper arm as he made you halt in your tracks, “you wound me, sweetheart”, Noah muttered, leaning in.

“And who’s worried about how much you will wound me?”, your words seemed to sober him up in an instant. A frown replaced a smile that was previously there. “Why would I…”, he breathed out. “Thank you for the wine”, you lift your glass slightly towards him, “And for the chat. Tell Matt he’s a wonderful cook”, you cheered him, clicking your glass with the bottle in his hand before turning away from him. Heart beating so fast in your chest, it was making you dizzy.

“Hold on, YN”, you heard his voice as you moved across the room, avoiding contact with people. Quickly lowering your glass onto the nearest table before heading towards the door. You couldn’t look back even if everything in your body screamed for you to. Noah’s voice hunted you till you slipped outside, hurrying towards the gate, hands quickly looking for the first possible Uber.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i have a thought about hinny

so Ginny is obviously pick me (i don't think is bad or good but it's a clear fact in books). so in 5 book she introduces Luna to Harry and Neville and laughs at her. later we see several of their interactions

Luna and Harry become somewhat friends(?) and Harry even invites her to Slughorns' party. in book 7 Ginny tells Harry to go with Luna instead of Cho because she's obviously jealous. i think L is safe-girl for G bc H won't fall in love with her and even more - next to her weirdly behaviour G looks cooler (i love Luna and called her weird from G prospective) and i don't think L and G actually friends, G doesn't seem to have friends or H doesn't really pay attention to so didn't really know her (projecting and obsession whooo)

what do you think about Luna and Ginny so-called friendship and possibly ship?

I'm not a big fan of Linny because I think Luna deserves better.

Again, anyone can ship whatever and this is just how I see the characters and their interactions + my own personal taste.

Like, Ginny definitely thinks there is no chance Harry would like Luna, she doesn't see her as a romantic threat the way she sees Cho. And this leads me to believe Ginny doesn't particularly respect Luna. I mean, Ginny thinks Cho is pretty, good and Quidditch and she likely knows Harry liked her. Luna, on the other hand, even though Harry took her to Slughorn's Party is not seen as a threat because she isn't good at Quidditch or as pretty (probably).

(I mean, Harry tends to be very judgmental of people's looks and he doesn't imply Luna looks bad, just odd due to her accessories mostly. So she probably looks fine. That being said, Harry never calls Ginny "pretty" either, so...

The girl beside the window looked up. She had straggly, waistlength, dirty-blond hair, very pale eyebrows, and protuberant eyes that gave her a permanently surprised look.

(OotP, 185))

Ginny does introduce Luna as weird and calls her Loony, so, I definitely don't think they were friends pre-OotP.

“What are you talking about?” said Ginny, who had squeezed past Neville to peer into the compartment behind him. “There’s room in this one, there’s only Loony Lovegood in here —” Neville mumbled something about not wanting to disturb anyone. “Don’t be silly,” said Ginny, laughing, “she’s all right.”

(OotP, 185)

Like, how Ginny talks about her doesn't sound friendly. It sounds demining. Like, she makes polite conversation with her, but she seems to think of Luna as lesser. Like, oh, she's alright, she's just there, like an odd accessory. Idk, their conversations never felt anything other than polite to me.

We do see Ginny, Neville, and Luna hang out later in OotP when they stumble on Harry and Co when they're about to head to the ministry, so I think there is some comradery there that grows throughout OotP.

Additionally, Luna does paint Ginny in her mural, but Luna's friend's mural is actually really sad to me. Like, these friendships are more important to her than to the people she drew. Like, out of Hary, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Neville, Harry is the one who has the most respect for Luna. even at the beginning when he thinks she's kinda weird, his thoughts are oddly not judgmental. He thinks she's odd, but it isn't attached to judgmental sass (which Harry's the master of). He doesn't mind she says weird shit and actually references it in other conversations, without really thinking anything negative about Luna. Like, I don't see Ginny ever looking up in a Misoltoe and saying there are probably Nargals in it, something Harry does:

“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it. “Good thinking,” said Luna very seriously. “It’s often infested with nargles.” Harry was saved the necessity of asking what nargles were by the arrival of Angelina, Katie, and Alicia. All three of them were breathless and looked very cold.

(OotP, 453)

“Mistletoe,” said Cho quietly, pointing at the ceiling over his head. “Yeah,” said Harry. His mouth was very dry. “It’s probably full of nargles, though.”

(OotP, 456)

Harry doesn't know what Nagrals are, but he doesn't care. He wants to ask Luna what they are and doesn't immediately claim they don't exist the way Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Neville do. Ginny is just not open-minded enough to truly respect Luna and how she sees things and the world.

I think the main reason we think of them as friends is that they don't really hang out enough to blow this image. I mean, in book 7 they do lead what remains of the DA together:

“Well, it got more difficult as time went on,” said Neville. “We lost Luna at Christmas, and Ginny never came back after Easter, and the three of us were sort of the leaders.

(DH, 488)

However, because Ginny doesn't see Luna as a real threat to her relationship with Harry, I think it shows that some of that lack of respect is still there. Like, I believe Ginny, Neville, and Luna grow closer over book 7 due to the circumstances, but I don't see any signs Ginny actually respects Luna as an equal. I think she's alright with her, but looks down on her, and Luna doesn't notice it much due to how desperate she is to have friends.

So, I'm not a fan of Linny because I don't see Ginny really getting Luna, nor does she seem to see her as an equal. And Luna deserves someone who'd be willing to look at the world the way she sees it, or at least be open-minded enough to not think negatively of her for that — neither are things Ginny is.

As for whether Ginny has other friends Harry doesn't notice, I'd say yes and no. Like, she probably has 'friends' of her own she hangs out with and talks to in classes, does homework with and such, but I don't think she has any close friends that she really trusts. I mean, in HBP, when Harry mentions she doesn't usually hang out with them at school, she goes to sit with Dean:

“Fancy trying to find a compartment?” “I can’t, Harry, I said I’d meet Dean,” said Ginny brightly. “See you later.”

(HBP, 136)

Not any friends she hangs out with in classes or does homework with. Her relationship with Dean is relatively new, so he can't be her usual friends.

We also see that when she has real things that concern her and she wants advice for (like getting together with Harry) she asks Hermione:

“I never really gave up on you,” she said. “Not really. I always hoped. . . . Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember?

(HBP, 647)

You could say it's because Hermione is Harry's friend and therefore would know how to answer best about Harry, but I think she really does lack close friends of her own. I think she gets along well enough with most of Gryffindor, but I wouldn't call most or any of her friendships close. At least, not from what we see.

So, I don't think Ginny and Luna are as close as fanon makes them out to be. I think they only really started hanging out in book 5 (their 4th year) and that Ginny never (at least in the books) really saw Luna as an equal to her (or Hermione for that matter, who she seems to respect more). Like, I can't imagine Ginny ever asking Luna for advice. So I can't really see them as a pairing that works without changing either Ginny's or Luna's personality.

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fanfic)

Chapter 2

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. No warnings.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

……………………………………………

A few hours later that evening, when Jobe checked his phone, he found two notifications from his brother.

Two messages sent, 15 mins apart, but both deleted shortly after. He decided to ping him to check in.

Jobe: Hey wassup?

Jude: Hey. Just about to crash.

Jobe: Anything playing on your mind? Nervous about tomorrow?

Jude smiled at his screen before answering. The answer was yes, in more ways than one.

Jude: A bit, yes. Yet, I can’t wait for tomorrow to come. It’s strange but, y’know what I mean?

Jobe: It’s warranted I guess. First Classico of your life, that too at home. Would be intense. But exciting too.

Jude: Hmm.

Jobe: Should I ask Mom to call you? She would anyway call tomorrow morning, though.

Jude: Nah let it be. Let her take care of Aunt Tracie. I know she wanted to be with me here for this but that’s important too. I am anyway gonna crash soon.

Jobe: Good luck for tomorrow. Kill it.

Jude: Thanks mate, need the luck. Talk to you soon.

He put the phone down, dimmed the lights and pulled the blanket all the way over his head. After tossing and turning for 10 mins, he checked his Whatsapp again.

No message from her. But she was online. Her DP was super cute, he thought. A sun-kissed photo on a beach in a yellowish floral dress.

Jude: Reached safely?

He went with the only segue he could think of. 45 seconds later, blue tick.

Ananya had reached just a few mins ago. One hour’s work took over two coz she just couldn’t focus. And she actually ended up getting stuck in the rain, just as he had predicted.

Just then, his name flashed on the phone. Reminding her that she hadn’t hallucinated all this. Her roommate was blasting music loudly in her room, in the weekend spirit. If only she knew what happened, she would die. Roma was an Indian American, who had never really lived in India. She was her colleague at work and as big a Madridista as her. They had hit it off instantly during the internship last year.

Ananya: Hey, yes I am home. Thanks for checking in :)

Jude: Super :)

She tapped her thumb on the phone screen, thinking whether her next question would make her look silly. But she decided to ask anyway.

Ananya: Is there some of..dress code for players box? I see a lot of people dressed in suits and formals.

Jude: No no, those are the corporate / business guys mostly. You can wear whatever you want.

Ananya: So, I can wear my jersey?

That brought a big smile to his face.

Jude: Ofcourse, dove! In fact, I would insist you do that :)

Instead of asking which jersey, rather whose jersey she was gonna wear, he tried a different tactic.

Jude: I could get the latest season’s one sent to you before the match.

Ananya: Nice try. But I have a favourite one I am planning to wear. You can guess whose it’s gonna be.

Jude: Can I change your mind?

Ananya: From now to tomorrow evening, I highly doubt it.

Jude: Is that a challenge, dove?

Ananya: Don’t you have an important match to focus on tomorrow?

He sighed.

Jude: I do. Really should have crashed by now.

Ananya: Think about how dreamy tomorrow would be. Even the ride through the training ground to the stadium would be nuts - thousands of fans on the streets. We need you well rested and charged up, and I am speaking on behalf of all fans when I say this. Close your eyes and get your beauty sleep now.

He chuckled over how quickly she switched from her own self to a fan representative.

Jude: Are you working for Carlo on the side and not telling me?

Ananya: Maybe, who knows. Good night, Jude. Sleep well. You would be amazing tomorrow.

Jude: Thank you. And Ananya?

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: I can’t wait to see you in my box tomorrow, cheering for me. Good night, dove!

With that, he finally put his phone down, snoring softly in a few mins.

But she ended up staring at her phone for a good 15 mins. The last line. Him calling her dove. Dear lord, what even was happening? This made no sense. They had nothing in common. This was not logical at all. The surrealism of it made her pinch herself a few times. She looked back at his DP - hugging his mom during his signing, both with a big smile. It was so sweet. Everything about him was so sweet. So normal. How could it be?

She shook her head and went to her roommate to break the news. Roma didn’t believe her at once but when she saw the passes, and a few messages from him as she practically snatched the phone away from Ananya, she jumped around like a 5 year old girl on a sugar high.

Ananya just laughed at her friend’s antics. She kept her anxiety on the Jude situation aside for a moment, at Roma’s insistence, and the two just celebrated getting to watch a Classico tomorrow. And, to see Zidane up close. The joy of the moment took over the nerves and they both jumped on the bed, hugging each other. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Next evening, they reached well in advance, not wanting to take any chances with traffic or queues. The players box and the attached lounge were luxurious - the girls checked out the place thoroughly, sampling the appetisers and drinks. 30 mins later, when the girls went back to their seats, Ananya found a few unread messages popping on her phone. They were from him. She held the phone close to her chest, so others don’t see the name, and clicked on the messages.

Jude: Reached?

And then, a from few mins later.

Jude: Came out for warmup. Didn’t see you in the box. Stuck somewhere?

She quickly typed the response.

Ananya: We are here. Sorry, lost track of the time while checking out the place and trying to get Zizou in a selfie frame. Not so much a selfie but us trying to get an angle with him included, while he was having his croissant far away.

Blue tick. Immediately.

Jude: Haha, he’s a nice chap. You could just ask him for a selfie.

Ananya: Considering I ran away when he looked in my direction, don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.

Jude: (laughing emoji)

She was still feeling guilty for missing the warm-up, so she decided to send him two photos. The first was the half selfie with Zidane, and the second was her in the box with her three friends, with the field as the background.

There was silence for a bit. She thought he must be getting ready to come back on the field, so she started checking her insta and added the two photos. The fan groups she were a part of would go nuts at this, she already knew.

Two minutes later, his name flashed again.

Jude: Who’s that guy in the picture with you?

Ananya looked back at the picture in question. It was her, Roma and her two work colleagues. The girls had invited them too. They were all standing next to each other, hands casually around each others’ backs as they posed with big smiles. Jude must be referring to Arjun, she figured, as he was the one right next to her.

Ananya: He’s my colleague. Well, they both are. You had sent 5 passes so Roma and I asked them. Is that a problem?

She wondered if she had overstepped the invite somehow and bit her bottom lip as she nervously saw him type.

Jude: Is he with you?

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

Ananya: I mean, I just said all three of them came with me.

Jude huffed in frustration, staring at the photo again. He could tell it was meant to be a casual photo but the guy’s hand was too comfortable on her back and too close to her waist. Something about him immediately irked Jude. He just hated his guts.

Jude: But he’s not WITH you right?

It was her turn to get annoyed now.

Ananya: Jude, seriously? Right now?

She jumped when the phone rang. It was him ofcourse. Roma looked at her curiously and Ananya rushed back into the lounge to escape from prying eyes. She found a quieter corner and answered the phone.

‘Before you say anything, I have 30 seconds after which I have to rush into the tunnel. You have every right to be mad but can you pls answer my question now and I will make up for this behaviour later? I don’t wanna go to the field like this.’

The mix of earnestness and child-like hope in his tone somehow assuaged her annoyance.

‘Please?’

She sighed audibly on the line and he looked at his teammates who had already started exiting the dressing room.

‘No, he’s not WITH me like that.’

She could practically hear him smile at the other end.

‘Thank you. I knew it but just needed to hear from you. And like I said, I will make up for this. Gonna score for you, dove. And later tonight, gonna apologise when I see you.’

His teammates were calling him in the background now, everyone was in the tunnel. He got the last sentence in before he absolutely had to hang up.

‘After the match, meet me in Pavillion 2 Parking lot, Pillar 4. It’s only for the players, no media or fans would be there. It’s a private exit from the back so no one would see us together. Then we can have a quiet dinner. Come down when I ping you. Yes?’

Another long, audible sigh at the other end.

‘Ok.’

She could again hear the darned smile.

‘Won’t wish me luck?’

‘Good luck, Jude. Now go, please. The anthem has started playing.’

‘Keep your eyes on me. See you soon. Bye.’

With that, he hung up and rushed to join his team, and got some looks which he totally deserved. But that was a small price to pay.

Ananya ran back to the box, not wanting to miss the anthem. She was a fan, first and foremost, and this was a big match. Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas blared at full volume. The girls stood up and sang along, waving to the beautiful melody.

Just then, the team stepped out. Serious game faces on. Her eyes scanned the whole team, marvelling at seeing them all only for the second time. Finally, her eyes landed on Jude, who was standing at the end of the line. And Roma elbowed her in the ribs just then because guess what? He was looking up at the box.

When he spotted her, he gave a slight nod in her direction which only the two girls could decipher. But very quickly, the game face was back on. She could tell how focused he was for tonight.

It was a tough match, heavily competitive, like any Classico. Barca were marking Jude really well, given he had been the most destructive force of Madrid in the first few months. He was getting frustrated but kept at it.

The group soaked in the riveting atmosphere. And the girls fangirled over many notable people in the VIP box. Nadal was quite an animated viewer in person which they were amused to see.

But mostly, they sang along for every chant, every song that was reverberating in the stadium. And the view was just perfect, not like when she had watched from the stands last year.

She did find her eyes going to Jude many times. Gosh, he looked fit. And played marvellously. He really was a vision tonight.

And just like that, first half was over. The atmosphere was tense as Madrid was down 1-0. The coaching staff rallied the players back to the dressing room, to regroup and strategise for second half. They were definitely going to get an earful for the set piece defending. She couldn’t look away from Jude as he walked off - he looked disappointed, angry yet still determined. He walked with intent, already talking to the coaching staff on the way.

The crowd started discussing different nuances of the first half as the highlights played on the 360* screens.

She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick message.

Ananya: There is full second half to go. As they say, 90 mins at the Bernabeu is a long time.

There was a blue tick but no response. She figured he would be busy, as he should be at this time.

The second half began soon after. Both teams went at each other but Madrid was playing with more aggression now. More pressing, more tackles, more forward movement.

And 20 mins later, out of nowhere, from way outside the penalty box, Jude scored a long range screamer.

The crowd went berserk, as did the boxes. Nadal nearly stood on his chair and waved his coat. The girls hugged each other and screamed their lungs out. The whole squad and the coaching staff ran on the field and ambushed Jude.

Once they dispersed, he raised his arms to the fans, pulling out his trademark celebration. And the fans sang ‘Hey Jude’ with love.

As he was walking away, he did sneak in one look towards his box. Nothing too obvious for the cameras to catch, but she saw the slight nod again. He knew she could see him on the 360* cameras and would know it was meant for her.

Roma saw it too. And dug her nails into Ananya’s arm.

‘Girl, is this real or am I in a trance? Did he really just do that?’

‘Honestly, I am asking myself the same question.’

As it turns out, he wasn’t done scoring for the night. In the penultimate minutes, the man scored a winner from close range.

The noise in the stadium was deafening. Some fans pulled their shirts off while others cried with joy. The two girls jumped from their seats and kept jumping for a good minute.

The celebration from the team was worthy of a Classico winner. Jude and Vazquez did some mental dance and then Rudiger tackled them all to the ground. Later, Valverde jumped on Jude who caught & held him with just one arm.

‘Pretty boy is strong too, huh?’

Roma whispered in Ananya’s ear, making her flustered. She nearly wanted to retort saying if Roma was just realising that and not during the match when he outmuscled all midfielders in duels.

Before she could say anything though, he did that sign with both hands, looking towards his thighs. The crowd roared back at him.

Ananya found herself paralysed in her seat as Roma elbowed her violently.

‘Maybe he’s giving you a message’

Ananya buried her head in her hands as Roma continued to tease her endlessly. Even with her fluster, she couldn’t help notice how the arrogant confidence suited him perfectly on the pitch.

Soon after, the final whistle came and the fans roared again along with the anthem. The team took a lap around the stadium, thanking the fans for their support. As they were walking off, Jude looked up at the box and his gaze lingered for a few seconds.

He looked away just at the right time, before the cameras caught his gaze. Ananya sighed inwardly - she had been worried about this all evening but thankfully it didn’t look like anyone had caught a whiff.

The rest of the group went to the lounge to grab a bite before leaving. She stayed back in the box and took in the atmosphere some more.

When Jude managed to check his phone 10 mins later, it was buzzing with messages. He checked the ones in his family group first and pinged them that he would call soon. Their happiness and support was the biggest reason why he did what he did.

Then, he looked for another name, and giggled with joy to see an unread message.

Ananya: Congrats. That was a special performance. You guys made the fans very happy, especially you. Savour the accolades, you deserve them.

He smiled from ear to ear, re-reading the message a few times.

Ananya was in the washroom when her phone buzzed again.

Jude: Did I make YOU happy?

Ananya: Very much so :)

Jude: Am I forgiven for earlier, then?

Ananya: Mostly, but not fully.

Jude: Ooh tough crowd :)

He sneaked into the shower to quickly call her from there, as the dressing room had erupted with champagne and food fights and all kind of hip hop jazz performances.

She picked up instantly.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey, sorry for the background. The lads are losing it. I am gonna need 20 mins more to take a quick shower and meet you downstairs but given the mood outside, might become 30. But I definitely will make it down in 30. Would that be ok?’

‘Yes ofcourse. And hey, don’t cut down the celebrations. These are the moments to cherish. In fact, if you just wanna hang with the team..’

He didn’t let her finish.

‘Are you mad? I have earned, EARNED this dinner with my blood, sweat and tears. No way I am giving that up. Nu-uh.’

She giggled at his theatrics and he giggled back at her.

‘Ok. Gotta go now. The sooner I wrap up here the sooner I see you. Sending you the car number. Will ping you 5 mins in advance. The parking lot is a bit secluded but it’s meant to be that way. It’s perfectly safe so don’t worry when you walk down there. I will anyway pick you up in 30 seconds of you being there. Ok? See you soon.’

‘Cool, see you.’

‘Bye, dove.’

‘Bye, Jude.’

He hung up and rejoined the mad dances that Vini and Cama were leading, still keeping track of time.

While Ananya grabbed on to the washroom counter, looked into the mirror and stared at her own reflection.

It was really happening. In 30 mins, she was going to get into his car, go to his house, and have dinner with him alone for a few hours.

…………………………….

There you go, this was the second chapter. Tons more to come in this story, feedback / comments are very welcome. Would love to hear your thoughts 😊

[neiptune]

jjk boys x what they do for valentine's day

a/n: suggestive if you squint! these are for funsies!! like all my silly impulsive self indulgent hcs!!! enjoy!!!! i'm sending you all virtual chocolate and kisses!!!!!

ok listen yuuji is a baby he doesn't know anything and your relationship is still kinda new therefore he panics. easily. what would you like? flowers, roses? candle light dinner? the biggest heart shaped box of chocolates he can find? you best believe he won't be able to pick an option so he will just pick everything. can't risk it. a bouquet of pretty flowers is delivered to your workplace along with a box of truffles & you come home to find your kitchen absolutely wrecked (how did he even get inside?) and the table in the dining room filled with a certainly interesting combination of dishes lol listen he tried his best and you don't have the heart to tell him you would've been happy with a box of pizza and a movie so when he greets you with the sweetest happy valentine's day baby!!!! you can only wrap your arms around his silly little neck and kiss his silly pretty lips <3

megumi remembers everything. all the time. the man's an elephant. even when you think he's not listening, even if the information you're sharing is 100% trivial (pedro pascal is hot, touching raw chicken freaks you out, you think smelling fresh paint ain't odd) his brain is constantly registering everything that comes out of your mouth. not only that, but your reactions too. so of course he's noticed the way you'd softly smiled after a surprised gasp had escaped your lips when you'd found that antiquarian book in a specialized store on the outskirts of kyoto. of course he's picked it up for you (too expensive? not on his watch). of course he's slipped a simple, handmade card right inside (he knows you would've had his head if he'd glued anything on the page itself). the card reads “if you were a book, i'd never put you down”. you cry & he freaks tf out lmao

gojo doesn't give a fuck about your job nor possible weekend plans, his extra ass has bought tickets to paris and you don't get to have a say in the matter. your suitcase on friday morning? packed. your mom? informed. your boss? he ain't important enough. satoru doesn't let you lift a finger: he's prepared everything, all the way up to your airport outfit (sweatpants and his hoodie, you better be cozy and comfy), he's even cleaned the house so you won't stress about having to do it once you come back. he wants valentine's day to be extra special, you've never been a fan of big romantic gestures so he promises the whole trip doesn't have to be about expensive dinners, champagne & roses. It's about you two being silly little tourists together, having fun, trying new food, possibly fucking in the jacuzzi he's made sure the hotel room comes with-

what geto does is: show up. LMFAO you two were broken up and of course he's at your door on valentine's day, not a flower nor an apology in sight, he just mumbles an annoyed “enough with this bullshit”, takes your face in his hands and waits. the fucker actually waits for your eyes to give him permission to kiss you devour you. he doesn't wanna talk about it, he just wants to spend the night with you in his arms (soooo clingy don't even get me started, you have to eat dinner sitting on his lap bc he won't let you on a separate chair, he'll wait for you to get out of the shower like a lost stray cat, will order all your favorite snacks and happily sit right next to you on the couch never once casting his eyes away from you. he's missed your face too much, although you'll never hear him say it out loud

you and nanami have this tradition of gifting each other the most ridiculous v-day stuff you can find. he deals with enough boring serious grown up shit and you simply won't have it when it comes to your relationship. you need to see him smile and roll his eyes with fondness as you hand over personalized boxer briefs and stuffed animals and a coffee mug with “if you were an angle you'd be acute one” written on it. He does his best to follow the rules (so far he's given you socks with his face printed on them, a “i chews you” chewbacca graphic t-shirt, a “ring for sex” bell and “i love you from top to bottom” toilet paper) but he. just. can't. help it. in the end he always, always gets you flowers and makes sure he cooks at least one of your favorite meals. he keeps it simple so you won't complain but nanami is just the happiest when he's allowed to spoil you a little. he loves you sosososo much and basks in your resigned smile as soon as you come home and catch him wearing an apron. you hope he's gonna like the new watch you got him

inumaki is a little shit most of the time. he's a playful boyfriend. he enjoys banter. he loves annoying the shit outta you. but did he fall head over heels for you? does everything remind him of you all the time? does he text you pictures of red orange sunsets and weird clouds and cute puppies and his lunch 24/7? yes. doesn't like admitting it often but he's whipped. and that's precisely why his valentine's day preparations are not really preparations. he's working all year round. you look at something at a craft show? he'll get it. you're reading a book by a new author you seem to be enjoying? he'll get three more books written by them. you're into a specific type of music? he'll spend a few evenings crafting different personalized playlists. he's always ready. he always has something to give you, something he's probably picked up months before. he doesn't remember how to look at the world without noticing all the little things you'd love about it

yuuta asks you to be his girlfriend on valentine's day!!!! you've been dating & he's smitten but he thinks you want the whole thing to stay casual and he's so far from being casual lol he just can't help himself, he has to know if you're exclusive. so it's a cold cold day, you're sharing a towel on the sand at the beach and you're casually telling him about your day when his fist tightens in his pocket and he just blurts the question out. and if it isn't the softest, most wonderful “would you want to be my girlfriend?” you've ever heard. you tease with a laugh and gently nudge his shoulder with yours. “i thought of you as my boyfriend like three dates ago” and when i tell you this man's face lights tf up like imagine a million christmas lights sparkling on the most beautiful tree. that's yuuta looking at you. thank fuck the little chocolate tube he brought can actually be shared

[burr-ell]

If it's alright, can I ask why you like the Golden Deer house more than the Blue Lions or Black Eagle houses? Like, what caught your eye about them over everyone else?

So I actually got into FE3H through a friend of mine, @dar-draws, who I already knew through mutual good taste (Dickkory), and fanarts like this one, this one, and this one plus the way she talked about Claude and Claudeleth caught my attention. I watched a couple playthroughs of the Golden Deer route on YouTube and absolutely fell in love (before finally getting a switch just to play it myself, for which I was violently bullied here). So like, I was already going into the game biased, which is part of why when I got it I went ahead and played through Golden Deer before doing all the other routes in turn; it was genuinely important to me to personally see all sides of the story. But even as I've played the other routes and replayed SS and AM and gained even more of an appreciation for them, I'm still always sort of drawn back to VW and the Deer.

I think it's ultimately vibes-based, but I'll try to articulate it. I'm not really a big fan of "cozy" sorts of games—I've played and enjoyed ACNH, but the things I most enjoyed about that game were finding things to do and goals to complete, like completing the main quest line or filling up the museum. So it's not so much that I find the Golden Deer to be cozy so much as adventurous. They're not inherently personally invested in the conflicts of White Clouds (they don't know Lord Lonato or Miklan, and their house leader isn't [gestures generally]), but they're also not just ping-ponging through the story. They go through the same events as the other two houses, but they're coming at it from more of an outsider's perspective, and their choice to get involved and react and respond feels more active.

The Deer also don't have any real reason to follow Claude, either, and in the early game they make sure he knows it; none of them are really all that concerned that they're speaking to the future Grand Duke of their country. Lysithea snaps at him, Leonie shoots the breeze with him, Raphael is jovial with him, Lorenz undercuts him, Hilda is blase with him, Marianne tries not to talk to him, and Ignatz gets into theological debates with him. Over the course of the game, they develop the same loyalty to Claude that the other house members already have for their leaders almost by default, and it feels a lot more earned because we see it happen. And that in turn makes scenes like the one at Myrddin, where Claude reveals his true goal of opening the border with Almyra and embracing foreign cultures and the other Deer are surprised but trust Claude and follow his lead, that much more satisfying.

I was a little surprised, when I played through the other three routes, that aside from the designated talking-with-the-cast scenes every route gets, the characters who aren't house leaders or retainers don't really have all that much to do in the story. On Verdant Wind, you pretty consistently have members of the Golden Deer appearing in other cutscenes and giving their two cents; there's even a unique scene where Lysithea realizes there's something up with the Empire's mages because of her backstory and approaches Claude and Byleth about it. It's nothing too obtrusive—they do still have to accommodate the potential for character death—but it's those small details that make a difference to me. Every house has a particular dynamic with odd silly quirks, but the Deer being just that little bit more integrated into the story really helps sell the idea that they belong here and they're making this story their own.

There's also the matter of where specifically their adventure takes them. I respect the choice to focus on Dimitri in Azure Moon, because it does handle his character and arc very well and I think also does the other Lions justice (with the exception of Dedue), but it's also focused largely on Dimitri's personal arc and the Tragedy of Duscur and doesn't really follow through on a lot of the events of White Clouds. (Which some Blue Lions stans have been okay with because they think the Agarthans are bad villains, which...that's valid, but stories still have to like, address plot elements they set up.) Verdant Wind, by contrast, does actually pull back and try to figure out the real impetus behind the whole conflict, and it ends with them beginning to properly lay Fodlan's true problems to rest.

So while the route isn't flawless and I do think there are issues with how characters are written that are part of larger trends within the game and the series as a whole, there's a very specific kind of fantasy adventure energy with the Golden Deer that I enjoy. I think the stories I'm most drawn to are the ones that keep their eyes on a specific goal but still make you feel like the characters would bring that same energy to goofing around with each other, and I think that's something Verdant Wind does very well.

[1moreff-creator]

With the release of a thrilling and VERY shocking Chapter 1 for Project: Eden's Garden, I'd like to resubmit my "What would make them laugh?" inquiry, but for the P:EG cast instead.

Yeah, I feel like we kinda need that one after everything that happened over there :'D. I've been wanting to write for this fangan anyways, so this is as good a place to start as any! Let's go!

Spoilers for Eden's Garden CH1

(Also, is the "shocking" description a pun on the murder method? Very funny if so xD)

Cassidy: We know she enjoys extremely horrible puns and referential humor, and the strength of her laughter correlates to how much the people around her either groan or enjoy the jokes alongside her.

Damon: He'd never admit it, but he enjoys silly jokes about niche topics he's researched for debates, provided he remembers enough about them. He particularly enjoys deadpan and sarcasm, and teasing other people.

Desmond: With how chill he is, he enjoys sweet and wholesome jokes the most. He can chuckle at anything if he's in a large enough group where everyone is comfortable, though.

Diana: She enjoys watching her friends engage in goofy antics and have silly discussions. Anything that makes them laugh, will make her smile, at least, and she'll usually laugh along too.

Eloise: Very odd and awkward sense of humor that not everyone gets. However, if someone matches her energy, she can very easily become a giggling mess. Very into inside jokes.

Eva: She'd rather not admit it, but really nerdy jokes and overly convoluted wordplay amuse her more than anything else. She also enjoys teasing the very few people she can call friends, and laughs when they get flustered.

Grace: Making fun of people and sexual innuendo are the easiest way to get her to laugh. She really enjoys slapstick and silly misfortunes, and flustering people like Wolfgang with her innuendo.

Ingrid: Laughs whenever she finds something cute, and generally, she finds other people's laughter cute. In other words, she laughs when others laugh, so she tries to make that happen.

Jean: Will readily and heartily laugh whenever he's having fun with friends, no matter what that fun looks like. Particularly enjoys anything that reminds him of the sea, like puns about the ocean and the like.

Jett: Similarly to Jean, if he likes the people he's around, a quick laugh will always precede all his sentences. Other than that, high intensity bits where there's one joke after another in quick succession are the best ways to hear his laughter.

Kai: Internet memes, "brainrot" humor, references to popular media... Just the most "chronically online" sense of humor you can possibly imagine. Also likes teasing people occasionally.

Mark: He's the hardest to get to laugh in the entire cast, but the best way to do it would be catching him off guard with a really ironic or unexpected joke. Self-deprecating and generally depressing humor go over particularly well.

Toshiko: She really likes weirding people out with her odd stories and grandiloquence, because it makes her feel smarter than them. But when she's not teasing others, she can also be seen giggling at absurdist jokes she's embarrassed to admit she likes (finds them childish).

Ulysses: He enjoys smart history references, so his sense of humor can certainly be described as "nerdy as hell." Very big fan of deadpan humor, too.

Wenona: Also a big fan of deadpan, she and Ulysses have fun together. She also likes making fun of people, and finds it particularly funny when they fight back on whatever point she makes.

Wolfgang: Likes playing along with other people's antics, like Grace's. In other words, he laughs when someone is being super silly around him and he can "yes and" his way into a funny bit.

Tozu: Human suffering and overly dramatic puns.

Mara: Clinically unable to laugh, or so she says. Secretly loves cute animal videos.

Cara: I guess it depends on what theories you believe about her. However, I don't know the full range of theories around her, so I'll leave it at that :p

Hope that was good enough! Thanks for the ask, it's always fun to think about this! :D

[wolftails-funkin-arts]

Your Sprunki spice tolerance headcanons GO 🫵

(X am totally not asking this because of how low in the negatives mx own spice tolerance is . /lying /silly)

*INHALES* 👀

Oren - Can't really handle spice but doesn't admit cuz he wants to look cool

Raddy - Can handle since he's cold-blooded (cuz reptile)- He even chugged a whole bottle of hot sauce once lol

Clukr - Probably can't handle spice- One spicy food to his tongue and it's over for him-

Vineria - She can tolerate spice for a little bit but if she eats more, she might probably cry

Gray - Can handle spice for some odd reason

Brud - Along with having pain tolerance, I guess he can also handle spice as well :T

Garnold - Yeah, he can't handle spice either- Probably on the same level as Clukr

OWAKCX/Lime - Doesn't handle spice very well- Tried a chili pepper one time and he instantly passed out

Durple - He has a bit of fire breath so he tolerate anything spicy

Simon - Oh, he ain't a fan of spicy foods ._.

Tunner - Since he's partially reptile, he can handle just a "bit" of spice

Wenda - She doesn't like spice all that much- She doesn't know how Gray can have some tolerance XD

Pinki - Immeditately starts crying if she tries anything spicy

Jevin - Like Vineria, he can only tolerate for a little bit but sooner or later, he wouldn't take it anymore and start looking for something to drink

Blackhat - Can handle a big amount of spice- This man's a different breed

[bizkitsnuggets]

08 — THE PLAGUE

m.list

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“You liar!” The brunet angrily cornered Mattsun with a red face. He couldn't believe it! Mattsun had tricked him about getting McDonald's and instead drove him to some place. Tooru quickly noticed that the “place” was Night Shift's practice location.

Mattsun only smirked before responding, “Too bad, should've checked the GPS then.” He shrugged, making the red in Tooru’s face a darker shade. The brunet groaned in annoyance. Out of all the places Mattsun could've taken him, here…?

He clearly wasn't having it, but Mattsun was the only one with a car, and calling a cab on this busy road didn't seem ideal or realistic. Tooru knew he had no other choice but to stay in that place for a few more hours before he could go home.

“C’mon, UFO nut, what's so bad about watching the group practice? They sound good!” Mattsun broke the odd silence.

Tooru closed his eyes and pinched his nose. “It's not the music, Mattsun. It's her.” He emphazised the word ‘her’, hinting who he meant to Mattsun. The brunet sighed, he really didn’t want to deal with YN. Tooru simply didn’t have the energy left, as he had spilled his milk tea all over his sweater and his professor pestering him to mark his student’s work.

The red on his face had faded away and was now replaced with an annoyed expression from just remembering the not-so-pleasing morning he had.

Mattsun clicked his tongue and flicked the brunet’s forehead, “You’re actually an idiot. She’s not gonna kill you just because you like aliens.” Tooru whined in respond, he’s fully aware he’s being childish about this whole situation. There’s no one else to blame but him. Still, he doesn’t want to cave into reality and believe he is in the wrong and instead continue his overgrowing hatred for poor YN.

And he knows that even if he bribed or begged Mattsun to take him home, it won’t work. Matsukawa is a strong man with a strong mentality. He doesn’t fall for silly tricks or antics especially if it’s from Tooru. Maybe if the brunet turned into a certain candy-colored vocalist, Mattsun would agree to drive him home…

Tooru crossed his arms and pouted like a sulky toddler, “You owe me mcodnalds on the way home.”

Upon entering the place, most of the band members were either cleaning or tuning their instruments. Unsuprsingly, Iwaizumi was also present. He never misses a group practice or performance, ‘I guess he’s a big fan of them’. Tooru thought as he rolled his eyes.

Mattsun and the brunet greeted everyone as if it was an objective in a video game to talk to every person present. But, as they were approaching their last target, YN, Tooru had noticed a vibrant colored keychain hanging from her jeans. Oh, how Tooru was hating himself for deciding to not wear his glasses today. Mattsun thought he looked stupid squinting his eyes like that would make a difference. Upon a closer inspection, the alien obsseded brunet realized YN’s keychain was the limited edition toy story alien keychain.

He winded his eyes in pure disbelief, a new mix of emotions started consuming him. Tooru wasn’t sure if it was jealousy, excitement, shock, or even relief.

Was he intrigued? Very much so.

Will he stop being an ass to YN? No.

Mattsun greeted the bass player as she was busy wiping dirt off of her precious bass. She looked up at him and smiled, “Hey! Glad to see Makki’s boyfriend again.” YN teased as Mattsun’s face turned into a dark shade of red. The girl shifted her gaze to the unusually quiet Tooru. He wasn’t even looking at her, his eyes were everywhere but her own.

Despite that, she still made sure to acknowledge him. Tooru responded by glaring at her and then giving her an obvious fake smile. The kind of smile you give someone when you want to let them know that you don’t vibe with them.

And that deceiving smile of his didn’t go unnoticed by Iwaizumi and Makki who were watching the scene unfold. Fortunately for YN, she never picked up his expression and returned a cheeky smile. Which earned a low “ugh,” from the brunet.

────────────────────────────────

notes:

iwa doesn't have a car so he rides a motorcycle instead

tanaka and bokuto were at the dog park when they had practice

in the end, mattsun treated tooru to kfc instead of mcdonalds

do you guys believe in aliens?

taglist: @this-is-me-lolol @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @kettlepop @causenessus @neeksnicoboytoy @does-directions @rinheartshyunlix @nnnyxie @bae-ashlynn @iluv-ace @k0z3me @eyes-ofhell @sereniteav @phoenix-eclipses @whosramiel

[until-another-one-comes]

My body headcanons for some of the boys:

Steven: slim but strong and muscular. He obviously has that military style training. Running 100 laps around the base, push ups, sit ups, swimming in an Olympic sized pool, weight training, anything to build up muscle and stamina. He can pack a punch and can wrestle a bear.

Izaack: absolute beefcake. More than Steven. He naturally has a big build but he works out regularly, mainly to keep his handsome image as a reporter. He’s very top heavy and has big strong arms that can carry two people and give the best hugs.

Angus: really slender. Not muscular at all. Doesn’t work out much but he’s the type to go out a lot. Nothing much to say here but he’s kind of a twink. Fans are saying Francis is a twink but I think the real twink is Angus here. Speaking of-

Francis: he’s mid sized to me. I know a lot of fanart depict him as some muscular anime guy but not to me. He’s not the slimmest but he’s not fat either. He used to have a slimmer frame when he was younger but you know how your metabolism slows down when you age, combined with a couple of poor lifestyle choices like not getting enough sleep and midnight snacking? Yeah. But he has broad shoulders, chest and strong arms due to carrying milk carts. Not the strongest but strong enough for manual labour

ANON YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS 100% HOW I SEE THEM

YESSS Steven is def a muscle dude. Probably has a punching bag in his house and goes on runs early in the morning (if thats allowed, but still).

Yeah out of all the four guys Izaack is definitely the strongest purely strength wise. Clark Kent type of build. Oh my God he is literally Clark Kent.

'He can carry two people and gives the best hugs' that is so fucking cute I love that.

YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON I SEE WHO AGREES ANGUS IS A *TWINK*. I see most people saying its Francis but HELLO WHAT ABOUT THIS REGINALD COPPERBOTTOM LOOKING GUY?? Mfer has NO muscles. Built like a stick. I think its cuz people see him as a mob boss/mafia guy which is understandable but while I do think he's skilled with a gun and whatnot that still don't mean he's not a twink! (Despite this he does struck me as the type to have a ton of energy so there's that)

Finally, Francis. You are so right anon- he's not a twink and he's not a muscle guy either (no hate to anyone who draws him with muscle, I'm not exactly against that *coughs*). But yeah he's definitely average and in between in terms of build. Calling him a twink isn't right cuz his job still involves SOME manual labor. I also hc he had a bunch of odd jobs before being a milkman so theres that.

Oh wait this is a nice time for me to share a silly little headcanon. One time Angus saw Francis walking carrying a bunch of milk crates and offered to help him carry one. Francis handed him one and Angus immediately toppled over from the weight. After that he immediately just ran back to his apartment and too embarassed to look at Francis in the eyes for a week.

On a cuter note, Steven usually helps Francis with carrying them.

GASP

STEVEN AND IZAACK GYM BUDDIES

[muldersfingers]

A silly little thing I threw together today instead of working on my WIP. This is for @enoughslices.

This is what would definitely have transpired if season 1 had happened in the 2010s. Maybe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her new partner was… incorrigible.

He was odd and whimsical, and Scully would never fault someone for that. But, boy, could he be irritating. And maybe a bit of a jerk.

Not a jerk. That was unfair.

He was pretty exhausting to work with, though, although the new assignment itself was partly to blame for that. She was working later each night, coming home more tense.

For the – Scully stopped to count – fourth time in a row Ethan had come, released into the condom inside her and then rolled over to go to sleep, leaving her with a dull, unsatisfying ache for release. 

She slipped out of bed as soon as his breathing settled, telling her he had fallen asleep. Grabbing her phone, she headed into the ensuite and turned on the shower. She sat down on the toilet lid and sighed.

Scully had never been a huge fan of porn. The majority of it was degrading to women, all exaggerated moaning and hairless pussies squirting and huge schlongs that made her vagina clench. Not arousing in the slightest. No, she preferred more intellectual stimulation. Art of some form.

She couldn’t even remember at this point how she came across it, nor did she particularly want to. She felt awfully guilty about it, but she had needs, too. Needs that Ethan didn’t often seem particularly interested in fulfilling anymore.

Tumblr hadn’t been something she had heard about previously, but it seemed a bit of an odd website. She had thought it was supposed to be a blogging website, but it was full of pictures and short, snappy posts that didn’t make sense. And it was full of nudity.

It was where she found Bob.

Bob was an amateur photographer, whose main subject was himself. Himself sans clothing.

That wasn’t entirely true. Bob did also like to photograph himself in underwear and clothing made for women.

Scully blushed. He had updated his blog with a photo of his middle, a black and white snapshot of his hard, sizeable cock straining against what looked like satin panties. Scully sighed, swallowing, as she slipped her free hand into her pyjama pants.

Christ. When she had first seen his blog, she had been drawn in by beautiful, arty photos of his nude form; his hard cock in half-shadow, the long, sculpted line of his back and his pert ass, his big hands on his toned abs and collarbone. The lingerie shots had taken her by surprise. Mostly how much she loved them.

Bob proclaimed himself as a heterosexual man who lived a double life. The thought of a heterosexual man comfortable enough to embrace the enjoyment he felt in lingerie was so alluring to Scully. Not to mention the fact he was, objectively, a very physically attractive man.

She rubbed her finger over her clit, imagining his large hands engulfing her hips, cupping her breasts, hot, strong fingers slipping into her panties and pushing inside her. The bathroom was growing steamy with the shower running, the spray easily concealing the noise of her gasps as she imagined a wet, insistent tongue flicking over her clit. God, she missed being eaten out. 

Scrolling with her free hand, she found another photo, new to her, of Bob on his knees, fishnets up to his thighs and obscene platform stilettos on his feet. Two pictures, side by side, showed a shot of him from the back, ass dimpled from the heels of the shoes, the other from the front, knees wide apart, fingers sprawled across his thighs, cock hard.

It pushed her very swiftly over the edge and she came, gasping as she convulsed, rubbing her clit until it became too sensitive, at which time she circled around it until she rode out her orgasm.

She tried her best to tamp down her guilt when she slipped back into bed next to Ethan.

-

A week later, she had unlocked her phone in the morning and been mortified to see Tumblr still open, Bob’s latest photo still on the screen from her little now tradtional post-sex bathroom trip last night.

He was fully nude, lounging on an unmade bed with his whole body on display, just cutting off his head and his arms, which seemed to be held up, hands laced behind his head. Oh, how she wished she could see his face. She would bet money on him being gorgeous, as beautiful as his body and his art.

It threw her off kilter for the rest of the day. She was distracted, and she really needed to write a case report but she just couldn’t concentrate or even recall some of the facts. She tried and failed to make a dent in her homework.

“I need to consult Mulder on some of this,” she told Ethan as she stood up and gathered her papers. “I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

“You’re going to his apartment?”

Scully fixed him with a stare. “That’s where he lives.”

Ethan threw her a look, which told her he didn’t find her joke funny. Good. It wasn’t meant to be particularly humorous.

Objectively, she knew she and Ethan had probably had their day. Living in a status quo was just so easy when there was no major source of conflict. Things were fine. They weren’t particularly great. He hadn’t been especially happy about her new assignment, which kind of made her like it more.

She called Mulder on the way to check he was home – no surprise to find he was – and upon arrival she was greeted with a soft, cheeky smile. 

As infuriating as he could be, she realised she would rather spend time with Mulder than Ethan, which was an alarming concept. It was just… Mulder was interesting. And Mulder made Scully feel like she was interesting.

She even had fun in his company sometimes.

Scully told Mulder a half-truth – which was more than she told Ethan – that she was having trouble recalling the facts and needed his eidetic memory to fill in the gaps. He was happy to oblige, and they whizzed through the report in no time.

Yet, somehow, three hours had passed.

“Shit,” she muttered. “I’ll be late. I’m expected for dinner.”

“Well, enjoy your evening.”

“Thanks for your help, Mulder,” Scully said gratefully as she reached for her jacket. “Ah. Do you mind if I use your bathroom before I head out?”

“Of course.”

She cut through his bedroom, trying not to look too much. She always thought it intimate, looking at someone’s bedroom, and she always dutifully avoided letting her eyes roam around Mulder’s whenever she had cause to visit the bathroom. She peed quickly, running her hands through her hair a few times after washing her hands. 

As she emerged from the bathroom, she reached for her earlobe, which felt strange. Her earring had unclasped and, as she touched it, it fell out of her ear and out of sight.

So much for not looking Mulder’s bedroom directly in the eye. Now she had to crawl on her hands and knees in there, looking for her earring. 

She spotted it, glistening, just by the bed. As she reached for it, she spotted something underneath the bed.

“God,” she muttered, eyeing the dizzyingly high stilettos.

She didn’t want to be invasive, but it was the most intriguing thing. Who had left them here? Where did she go without shoes? Where had she been in heels like that?

Scully was just trying to get her head around the concept that they might belong to a prostitute when she was struck by something. They were big. Like, big. Like, she had never met a woman with feet that size. 

This realisation was quickly followed by its implications and she gasped, quickly slapping her hand over her mouth, hoping Mulder hadn’t heard.

She recognised these obscene shoes. 

Choking down the guilt – this was so, so invasive – she pulled the shoes from under the bed to get a better look at them in the light. They were black, patent leather, platform with a stratospheric stiletto heel. Mulder’s size.

But it couldn’t. It couldn’t be him. Mulder was Bob? Nerdy Mulder, indisputably sweet, often hard exterior with a soft centre. In heels and panties.

She had fingered herself looking at him last night.

Quickly, she shoved the shoes back under the bed. This was an enormous revelation and, as mortified as she was, she couldn’t in good conscience keep her knowledge of this from him. She had to tell him. As a friend. Besides, if she could work it out, who’s to say who else might?

As she positioned the shoes to make sure they were exactly as she found them, she noticed a slight scuff in the patent leather of the left shoe, just at the tip of the toe.

She swallowed as she pulled her phone out with trembling hands. She could make doubly sure. 

Sure enough, she zoomed in and clocked the scuff on the left shoe. 

She stiffly walked out of his bedroom and over to the couch where he was sitting.

“Y’alright?” he asked, a chuckle undercurrenting his tone. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

She sat down, frowning, folding her hands into her lap.

She took a deep breath. “Mulder–”

She looked at him, and his expression was so open, and soft, and inquisitive, and she couldn’t do it. She was embarrassed enough for herself, she didn’t need to bring him into that feeling. He didn’t need to know that she had seen his cock, hard, precome sometimes beading at the tip, that she had become aroused at the sight of him in fishnet stockings and stilettos, licked her lips at the way the shoes made his calf muscles look, daydreamed about sinking her fingernails into the flesh of his ass.

Even as she stared at him, and he stared back, she felt herself become wet as she imagined that huge cock between her legs, and she cleared her throat to conceal the choking sound she made.

“I’ll see you at work Monday.”

The profiler in him eyed her suspiciously, the ghost of a grin on his mouth.

She knew she was in for a rough time. Working with him day in, day out was going to be difficult, knowing what she knew and having seen what she had seen. Felt what she had felt.

When she arrived home, she dropped the pizza box in the kitchen, calling out to Ethan that she would be a minute, she just needed to use the bathroom.

She swiftly fingered Mulder out of her system, a quick, hard, shame-filled masturbation after which she couldn’t look herself in the mirror as she washed her hands.

Scully wouldn’t look at her partner in the same way again, but she also wouldn’t look at Bob again. As she left the bathroom, she watched as her apps all wiggled side to side, taunting her as she hovered over the Tumblr app. One tap and Tumblr would be deleted, Bob would be out of her life.

“Come on, Dana,” Ethan called from the living room. “We’ve lost enough of the evening as it is.”

A tickle of resentment at that had her locking and pocketing her phone.

Bob could stay. She needed him.