#biblically accurate duck

[alilbitlesbian]

So, I've been feeling vaguely bad abb not updating Vices & Virtues, but also I got cramps in my left hand so no typing today (or not much, at least)

Anyway this is all you get; biblically accurate duck, shittily sketched by yours truly.

[soulmatesclub]

average dan and phil meet and greet picture

[its-stimsca]

Could I request a stumbled about Hazbin Hotel’s Lucifer? With themes of rubber ducks, fancy clothes, and honesty anything, I’m not Picky.

Thank You :)

He is such a guy

🍎 👑 🍎 / 👑 🍎 👑 / 🍎 👑 🍎

[aceforwhatevenisthis]

truly do love that good omens’ approach to its source material (ie, being essentially bible fanfiction) is like, here’s my sources and my footnotes and here’s a really obscure reference and yeah there’s some creative liberties for the sake of having a story but look gay angels :)

and hazbin’s approach is basically FUCK YEAH CONCRETE

[godzexperiment]

God's Angelic Rubber Duck- The Angel Nix

18+ indie (high activity) fandomless, fandom verse(s) angel oc written by: chance 21+ he/him

[anachronic-cobra]

Be not afraid to feed ducks frozen peas and birdseed instead of bread

[wakewithgiggli]

WHAT

[calamarikitty]

Hazbin Hotel Redesigns - Part One!

brainworms told me to hyperfixate on hazbin hotel and i did. so here are some redesigns! i'm planning on doing all of the cast, starting with the big (little) guy of hell himself, charlie, and vaggie! next is going to be the hotel staff (niffty, alastor, and husk)! individual pngs and redesign notes under cut

Lucifer Morningstar - He/him, trans man, bisexual he has goat hooves, horns, and ears, as well as a little goatee:-) his tail is a lions, since lions symbolize jesus, royalty, and also are a little nod to pride.

he doesn't keep his wings after he falls from heaven. i know he has his wings in the og show, but i never understood why. he lost his wings in the fall and still has feather growth, but they turn into these weird malformed lumps of flesh and feather instead of actual wings. they're quite itchy and uncomfortable for him.

longer hair, for fun! as well as lots of apple motifs. he has little lines coming from his lips like a ventriloquist doll or puppet. i've seen it in a lot of charlie and lucifer redesigns and i think it's super cool.

he wears pretty fancy clothes but doesn't go overboard with it, as he doesn't particularly like his royal status.

he has a special interest in toy making and is specifically hyperfixated on rubber ducks! he's able to use toy making as a creative outlet to distract himself.

no shoes cuz he has sensory issues and shoes made for hooves don't seem comfortable!!!

still wears his wedding ring even though there hasn't been any sign of lilith for years

Charlotte 'Charlie' Morningstar - She/her, cis woman, bisexual she also has goat hooves and ears, but unlike her father, she has horns more reminiscent of a ram's, much like her mother's horns. her tail is more of a classic imp shape, since she is a hellborn demon and not a fallen angel like her father.

the bottom of her pigtails are meant to resemble angel wings! she's a little piece of heaven in hell:-)

i didn't change her outfit too much, but i did want to add things to it to make it stand out more. she has gold details like her dad, as well as a bowtie with an eye detail to nod to biblically accurate angels.

she has the ventriloquist mouth like her dad! in general, she also looks more like her dad than her mom.

Vaggie - She/her, intersex, lesbian SHE DESERVED A MORE PURPLEY COLOR PALETTE!! purple is definitely her color.

i changed her body type a lot in this redesign, i think it makes more sense for her to be buffer, because of her history.

she's not a moth demon, but disguises as one to blend in, since most sinners have animal motifs.

fur collar and fur leg warmers because i think they're really fun. i also think she's most definitely a pencil skirt + combat boots girl.

i actually do kind of like the X on her hair in her og design, but i wanted to make it look less?? plastered on?? since in her og design i genuinely can't tell if it's meant to be part of her hair or not.

she has a big bow like her og design, but it's meant to be reminiscent of moth antenna. it also adds to her biblical angel silhouette! another eye detail on her chest, like charlie, to nod to angels. this nod is particularly relevant considering her past!

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sephiroth buys a Wii with Wii Sports. What goes on during the game when AGCSZ are playing together?

Things That Happen During Wii Sports, A List

• More specifically Wii Sports Resort.

• Cloud and Zack have the batshit insane idea of playing the swordplay duel blindfolded. They don't know where or who they're hitting, so Angeal ends up getting attacked by Cloud at one point.

• Genesis makes it all worse by narrating the duel wrong and making Zack think that Cloud is winning. Zack grows frustrated and attacks everyone in sight. They almost have to hold him down, but then he starts dueling with the wall so that gives them enough time to go grab a snack.

• Zack refuses to tie the remote to his wrist because it "throws off his game." Every time he plays bowling, he forgets that he doesn't have to actually release the ball, so the remote ends up being launched into the TV screen at an alarming speed.

• Already broke 2 TVs.

• Angeal loathes video game sports because he claims that going outside and playing the real thing is so much healthier. This means he also forgets that hes playing a video game sometimes. He plays frisbee golf, lets go of the remote and now there is a remote stuck in the wall of Sephiroth's apartment.

• Never have there been more arguments among a group of people than during table tennis. Curiously, Genesis’ breaking point wasn’t when Sephiroth defeated him for the 17th time in a row, but when Zack called him "Tenesis" right after his loss, leading Genesis to set the Wii on fire.

• Sephiroth bought another Wii.

• At one point security is called on them because the screams and fighting coming from the apartment during the group cycling tournament sound as if someone is being murdered.

• Sephiroth grows irritated at Genesis during archery, where he insists on quoting "the arrow has left the bow of the goddess" before every try, so Sephiroth bans him from using the Wii altogether.

• Somehow Genesis being told to sit out doesn't stop him from causing chaos. While they're watching Cloud skydive, Genesis bets Zack 1000 gil that he can't skydive from the 49th floor then and there.

• Angeal has to then grab Zack as he attempts to fling himself from the window.

• Angeal has a nasty habit of trying to coach and give his input during basketball. Sephiroth loses his cool at one point when Angeal is yelling at him to "DRIBBLE." Sephiroth unplugs the Wii and throws it out the window.

• Angeal is stunned at how petty Sephiroth is.

• Sephiroth buys another Wii.

• Sephiroth is enamored with the mother duck and her ducklings while canoeing <3

• Genesis gaslights Cloud into thinking there's more i points than there actually are during the island flyover.

• Zack has beef with the dog from dog Frisbee because Angeal loves that dog and Zack is jealous.

• They bully each other by making horribly inaccurate and insulting Mii characters.

• Sephiroth's favorite character is a cute Genesis Mii , but he's made his head 10x bigger and named him "Biblically Accurate Genesis"

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

I'll never understand why they made Lucifer be associated with a duck, of all animals they could've chosen.

Ducks symbolize happiness, good luck, and stability. Does that sound like the ruler of hell?

What about this reflects anything about Lucifer's character? He chose against stability when he had the choice. He's not happy and certainly not blessed with luck.

I mean, ravens and crows are right there.

They're smart, independent birds who find unique solutions to problems. All of these traits would be more in character.

They could've kept his white colors by making him a white raven, alluding to his past as an angel in heaven, and Lucifer being seen as the "morning star".

Alternatively, they could've made him a white peacock, a bird associated with Lucifer's main sin.

The guy is royalty, after all.

Plus, a peacock showing off his feathers looks like an eerie, biblically accurate angel, and always wears a crown on his head.

They can't really fly, as their feather wheel, their "pride" is too heavy to let them make it into the sky. Could've been another subtle nod.

The writers still could have kept Lucifer's obsession with cute birds by making him like baby chicks, symbolizing that he misses his own child, and that he yearns for happier, more innocent times when he hadn't been rejected by his flock.

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

WHAT IN THE UNHOLY HELL 😂😂😂😭😭😭

[stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling]

masterlist of my moots and their tags!!

for some reason tumblr won't let me link the part 2, so check the reblogs if you want a real list

okay so i have a bunch of moots and not all of them have tags yet, so if you want to be added to the list, ask me please or just put an emoji you like and your preferred internet name in the replies and i will get to it :3

okay anyways

@lifegoalsofafish #fish 🐟

@mister-dirty-hands #crow 🖤

@i-live-life1313 #eli 💚

@bloophasarrived #mari 🐿

@liggy-not-potter #liggy 👹

@starcrossedmoony #peppa 🦕

@definitionoffuckup #star 💫

@wistfulenchantress #witch 🎧

@good-oldfashioned-lover-girl #evie 💙

@margaret-the-duck #maggie 🦆

@totalcharliespringsimp #charlie 👁

@figuring-it-out-slowly #mars ⚘

@dandelionflowery #dandelion 🌿

@random-bi-kid #petra 💜 or #asher 💜

@ashippingpotato #potato 🥔

@gildy-locks #gildy 🐥

@anglptera #ang 🦖

@cazzythefrogking #caz 🐸

@examishbookwyrm #bookwyrm 🐛

@random-doctor-on-the-internet #ash 🗡

@discoveredreality #ari 🗨

@biblically-accurate-chaos #bean ⚔

@blakat014 #kat 🕸

@rhystheaudhddaydreamer #rhys 🐺

@vizzly-sama #vizzly 🐁

@asclexe #cameron 🐱

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon #demon ☻

@daydream-of-a-wallflower #kat 🍊

@aristos--achaion #void 🕳

@vintagetee13 #aimee 🌼

@childofposiden71 #kriss 💅

@cressthebest #cress 🌸

@idk-what-to-put-here-123 #ruby ❤

@sapphos-queer-kid #marie ✏

@aesthetic-writer18 #raine ✒

@njjisquiet8 #nj ⭐

@irisandthegayestpotatoes #iris 🍃

@jasonsbricky #elliot 🏳️‍🌈

@moonage-nightterrors #el 👀

@tequilaqueen #bea 🦋

@old-lady-habits #aspen 🏵

@buttercup-in-wonderland #buttercup 🌾

@midnights-dragon #tristen 🐉

@scatteredraysofhope #aditi 🦉

@themortalityofundyingstars #chase ✨

@garden-of-runar #ru 🥀

@theoneandonlypjofanatic #jia 🧡

@fairies-in-a-forest #dove 🕊

@dontknowanythingohwell #violet 🌌

this made me realize just how many moots i have lol

this will be updated once a month or so

so if you don't see yourself here, wait a couple weeks. if you still don't see yourself, tell me! you can drop into my askbox with your preferred name and an emoji :)

[knight-a3]

Hazbin Sketchbook Tour part 3

Masterpost

I started some preliminary sketches of Charlie to get a feel for her. I wasn't exactly happy with them. I did like how Alastor turned out in the dancing one, just...not the rest of it.

Before going back to Charlie, I had a couple ideas for a Vaggie redesign I wanted to sketch out. She'll go through a few minor tweaks over time, but overall not bad for a first pass. (There's also a stray Emily)

This is when I started seriously redesigning everyone. I would search up other people's redesigns for inspiration, then move on from there.

More design notes under the cut, and a couple fun Bible facts!

Vaggie: First, I doubled down on the moth theming. I wanted it to be more obvious than it is in canon. It also serves to show that Hell is corrupted, and it makes everyone more inhuman. All the angels will look more human, because "Biblically accurate angels" is not actually all that accurate. After she Falls, she becomes more moth-like, and is not truly an angel anymore.

[I've got this whole idea concerning the blood colors of the various groups. Maybe I should make a dedicated post to explain, but here's the rundown: There are three main groups: Hellborn, Earthborn, and Heavenborn. Hellborn have black blood, and Heavenborn have a glowing white. Earthborn have 3 subgroups: Living, Sinner, and Saint(aka winner). While alive, Earthborn have red. After death, the color depends on if they Fall or Ascend. Fallen Earthborn become Sinners and the blood darkens to purple. Ascended Earthborn become Saints and it lightens into golden yellow. When a Saint Falls, it darkens to purple. When a Heavenborn falls, it darkens to orange. Ascended Sinners will gradually lighten to yellow(albeit it won't ever be quite as bright as the other Saints). Hellborn cannot Ascend.]

All that to say that Vaggie does not have pure angel blood anymore. And I'm trying to decide if the Exorcists are Heavenborn or Earthborn. I'm honestly favoring Earthborn right now, since that's what Adam qualifies as.

Even when she gets her wings back, Vaggie's form is still corrupted and they come back as moth wings, to fit her theming. I wanted to get her long hair out of the way of her wings, and figured that since her hair is sorta moth themed anyway, why not make them the same thing. It works cuz...magic. I also really do not like the floating X over her eye, so I made it a broken eye spot instead.

Charlie: I knew I wanted more goat themes. So the ears were an obvious place to start. I also made her ponytail to look like a goat tail. But I saw a few designs that gave her snake hair and I thought it was great. But I didn't want to draw so many and decided to just give her one. Then named him Hugh. Short for Hubris aka Pride. I designed the Morningstar family around the goat and snake themes, where Charlie gets the goat traits from Lucifer, and the Snake traits from Lilith.

Lucifer: Canon Lucifer has way too many different design motifs. The Biblical Devil is associated with snakes and goats, so I wanted to narrow down on those rather than the forbidden fruit(which is never confirmed to be an actual apple, by the way) or ducks. He can still likes duck, but it doesn't go further than that. Since canon Lucifer is not exactly evil like the Biblical version, I decided it would be thematically appropriate to have his Fall turn him into a scapegoat, of sorts. Which would also mean that Lucifer is not the True Devil. The real Evil is the darkness trapped in the abyss(should I call it Abyss?). Lucifer, as a Fallen Angel, actually created Hell to prevent souls from getting lost in the abyss. So as bad as Hell is, it's actually a relatively good thing. Oh, and he lost his wings during his Fall. (Fun facts: the Devil isn't actually called Lucifer in the Bible, that was a translation quirk basically referring to the fall of the Babylonian king. Similarly, the number 666 probably refers to Roman Emperor Nero)

Lilith: Because I committed to Lucifer as a goat, but still wanted to implement the snake theme, I gave it to Lilith. I wanted to give her snake hair, but also maintain the flow of her long hair. So I decided to give her 7 snakes, each to represent one of the deadly sins. The top one represents pride. They're all named, like Charlie's.

Pride=Vani(Vanity), Greed=Ava(Avarice), Lust=Libby(Libido), Envy=Desi(Desire), Gluttony=Tony(Gluttony), Wrath=Irene(Ire), and Sloth=Sloth(...)

Overall, I haven't fully decided what I want to do with Lilith. It would probably help if we had more canon info on her. Is she secretly an antagonist? Or is there something else going on? Regardless, I enjoyed designing her.

I had this whole tangent about the mythological origins of Lilith, and how she's not actually a biblical character at all. It got too long winded so I cut it. But basically, liliths were a type of demon in Middle East/Mesopotamian cultures. Then a satirical Jewish story written in the medieval era made Lilith Adam's first wife, then she ran off with the Great Demon and started having 100 demon babies a day. She had to promise three angels that she wouldn't hurt any human newborns if they had a special amulet. She was associated with seduction and child-killing. She wasn't a feminist figure until the 1970s. She was just evil before that. Read HERE if you want more info about it.

[duckymcdoorknob]

My friends and I just watched (a few of us for the third time) The Amazing Digital Circus before class. We analyzed it heavily, and here’s what our predictions are:

⚠️Spoilers (duh)

The whole circus is representative of Purgatory, and the six are being tested.

This one seems pretty self-explanatory

Caine seems to be some kind of guardian deity, given the fact that he can snap away Ragatha and Pomni’s glitching in an instant

Bubble seems to represent some kind of Guardian Angel that is there for support.

They are given daily tasks, multiple places to go, and are always under watch from every angle.

Not to mention that the abstractions look like biblically accurate angels…

The photos on the bedroom doors are also seemingly symbolic.

Those who abstracted have large x’s over them, and multiple rooms have wooden toy pose dolls (like the ones that artists use) on them.

We think that those abstracted represent those who failed their test and were damned, the wooden dolls are those who passed their test and have done whatever necessary to save their souls.

Caine seems like he is the one who controls that damnation or repentance, given that he can open holes in the floor and teleport and such.

This brings me into my next theory

Kinger has premonition, or has been through the whole show before.

Okay so listen

His very first line is “did someone say insect collection?” (Or something like that)

When he sees the Gloink queen, he repeats that exact line, almost as if he knew it was coming..?

Also, when Zooble was freed from its stomach, Kinger asked if Zooble had “participated in a game show” (again, ballparking these quotes)

Is this something that he knows that we don’t? Is it something that will happen in the future?

Did he have a vision? Or did he already experience that game show?

Maybe he’s a soul that was damned and was given another chance?

ANOTHER THING I THOUGHT OF-

Maybe he has had premonition of Gangle’s abstraction.

Hear me out- he jumps EVERY time Gangle is near him, almost as if he can’t see her until that moment.

My theory is, he shuts her out because he’s seen her abstraction and doesn’t want to be too attached and grieve when she goes.

Pomni may have been responsible for Kaufmo’s abstraction/Kaufmo responsible for Pomni’s arrival.

Kaufmo didn’t show up the day that Pomni arrived

Obviously we know that this is because he abstracted

But the question is, was it caused by Pomni?

This may be farfetched, but hear me out.

Pomni’s whole design is of a court jester/clown. Her color scheme is directly opposite of Kaufmo’s

Her base colors are red and blue with yellow accents. Kaufmo’s yellow with blue and red accents.

Perhaps Pomni’s arrival was because of Kaufmo’s abstraction, or maybe Kaufmo abstracted when the role of the clown was replaced?

Pomni became self-aware

In the beginning, she fell prey to the circus. She thought she was dreaming, forgot her real name, and longed desperately for an exit.

But as the episode progressed, she seemed much more comfortable in the circus.

Naturally, this is probably because of her adjusting to her surroundings, but this is where I started to pay attention.

For starters, Pomni’s name is the Slovenian word for “remember” What’s the story behind this?

When Jax swung the key above her head, she flinched and ducked down. Was this out of fear he’d hit her? Or maybe out of habit?

If out of habit, weren’t they supposed to lose a good chunk of their memories?

When she was being chased by abstracted Kaufmo, she stopped to look in the mirror. She looks deeply into her eyes, realizing that she can see her reflection.

A person cannot see their clear reflection in a dream. If they can, it’s a warbled image and not a true reflection of them.

It’s at this moment that Pomni realizes she’s not dreaming.

When she enters the exit labyrinth, there is a famous scene with her looking at the computer setup and laughing maniacally.

My friends and I think that it’s at this point in which she realizes that she is there for a reason and remembers said reason.

That same computer is revealed at the end after the camera pans out of everything. That is Pomni’s computer (we think). Maybe when she saw that computer, she became self-aware and all of her memories came flooding back.

Thinking back earlier, when Ragatha first got glitched, she had an internal dilemma of saving her new friend, or surviving without a hitch. She left quickly, choosing herself.

Perhaps it’s because she has a mission to carry out?

The scene at the end is symbolic of the Last Supper in Christianity. Pomni is in the center where Christ would have sat. Christ knew that he had a mission to carry out, and now Pomni does too.

The question is her creepy smile.

Is she smiling at the chaos that will ensue?

Or has she finally realized that’s she’s stuck for good and has no way out?

There is more past the void, which is why Caine does not want them to go out there.

Caine is seen in a restaraunt with bubble, one that was not shown during his tour of the grounds.

He’s surrounded by the wooden pose dolls.

As soon as he gets an alert on his watch, he teleports to grab Pomni almost immediately.

He does a shitty infomercial about his watch, complete with pop-up information. Maybe this was for comedic effect, or maybe he did it to let her get a good look of what she wasn’t supposed to see?

Caine lies about the exit, and does everything in his power to keep the six of them stuck in the circus (always keeping an eye on them, alerts to their movement, etc.)

Jax knows more than he leads us to believe

I mean obviously

It’s always the most cocky ones that have the darkest secrets

He’s obviously been in the circus for a while, for he has a great understanding of the lay of the land.

He’s calm when the Gloink queen materializes, and even calmer when the abstracted Kaufmo comes to kick the shit out of it.

Maybe Jax was some kind of caretaker in his real life and is trying to keep everyone calm by putting up a facade of some sort?

“Ladies first? Wait, no, why am I saying that?”

Zooble asks where Pomni is since the mission is for her, Jax shuts them down immediately, giving the excuse of “I can’t hear the escalator.”

That’s probably just for comedy and his cockiness, but what if Jax knew that something was happening with Pomni?

Spy on the inside??

When he pairs up Kinger and Gangle, he claims they’re the two most “mentally stable”. Is this because he’s seen Kinger’s premonition? Or perhaps he’s seen Kinger do this exact mission once in the past..?

I think the seven (including Kaufmo) represent the seven deadly sins.

Okay I’m still trying to piece this one together and I may be cooking nothing BUT LEMME COOK

Oh my god this is so farfetched I love it.

Pride will have to be Kinger/Ragatha. No idea which yet.

Gluttony will also have to be Kinger/Ragatha. No idea which yet.

Lust is DEFINITELY Jax. Not for sexual reasons, but for the fact that he is trying to cause mayhem at any given minute. He strives off of being as unbearably annoying as possible.

Envy may be Gangle. She’s stuck in a perpetual sadness, with her comedy mask being broken every time. Her emotions depend on her mask, and maybe she longs to have

Maybe Kaufmo is wrath? Not sure if it was to protect his friends, but homie was SWINGING on that Gloink. When Gangle questioned, Jax said “Calm down, that’s just Kaufmo, it’ll be alright.”

Sloth is Zooble, with no desire to take part in the activities.

Greed will maybe be Pomni. With all of my previous Schpeels about her, she is very focused on number one. She abandons Ragatha out of “fear”, and she kept trying to exit even though she knows she can’t.

Okay wow that was long- GIVE ME YOUR PREDICTIONS OR EXPANSIONS OF OURS IN THE COMMENTS OR REBLOGS!!!

[autisticlancemcclain]

part one

———

Hunk’s not really a natural morning person. No one really is, he doesn’t think, and he already has to get up at stupid-o-clock in the morning for his job, so he likes to sleep in on weekends. He’s no Pidge, of course — if you let her that woman will literally slip into a coma on command — but if he doesn’t have to wake up early, he won’t.

In the city, where there is nothing but buildings and the air pollution is so bad it’s like a constant cloud over the area, that’s not a problem. In Lance’s woodland fairy-ass cabin, the sun shines straight from the window into his eyeballs the second it rises, and he’s up early.

He drags himself out of bed with a groan, glaring at Pidge who is entirely unbothered, because of course she is. He remembers when the three of them went on trips, growing up, and how he and Lance would wake up early for hotel breakfast and find Pidge still dead asleep. (They would proceed to have a competition to see who could stack more random shit on Pidge’s sleeping body before she woke up. She never woke up. A fuckin’ biblically accurate angel could descend upon them with the light of a thousand suns and Pidge would still be dead to the world. It’s honestly kind of hilarious, except right now Hunk is insanely jealous, so it’s not really funny.)

He digs through his duffel, looking for his X Files t-shirt because he is a dickhead and he thinks he’s funny (he is). Once he’s finally dressed for the day, he creeps out of the guest room — Lance’s cheeky warning from last night still ringing in his ears; he does not want another eyeful of alien dick, thanks — but the door to Lance’s (and Keith’s, he supposes) room is ajar, bed made neatly, lights off. They’re awake.

He pads down the hallway, peeking through at doors that are ajar but finding them all empty — washroom, laundry room, office, every single room with the lights off. He finally makes it to the kitchen, the last possible place where they could be, but there’s nothing. Curiously, he glances at the front door, but Lance’s dorky retro sneakers and Keith’s big combat boots are still there. Clearly, they’re both in the house, but where?

Deciding not to worry about it, Hunk starts digging through Lance’s fridge, pulling out eggs and cream and butter to make some breakfast. He’s pretty sure that all is forgiven for their less-than-stellar reactions to meeting a Real Life Alien, whom Lance is apparently boinking (which is much less of a shock than Hunk is pretending it is), but breakfast can’t hurt.

As he cracks and whisks the eggs, pouring them into the hot frying pan, he begins to hear a steady squeaking noise, like the creaking of a porch swing. He quietly moved the eggs off the burner, inching close to the big window over the sink and peeking out.

Ah. There they are.

Lance sits with his feet tucked up onto the porch swing, curled into Keith’s side. Keith has a big arm over his shoulders, clawed thumb gently brushing his bare arm, as he rocks the swing back and forth. His poofy black hair and fluffy ears brush the low-hanging roof of the porch with every swing.

“Things are gonna be different, now,” Lance murmurs, turning slightly to press a kiss to Keith’s shoulder. Keith is quiet for a while, his only reaction being a slight quirk of his lips, showing the barest hint of crooked incisors and a sharp fang. His smile, coupled with the near reverent way he looks at Lance, makes his whole face look softer.

“Different doesn’t mean bad.”

“No. But it won’t be just you and me.”

Keith shifts, gently guiding Lance upright to sit on his own. Once Lance is no longer leaning on him, Keith ducks his head, pressing an obnoxiously loud kiss to his cheek that startles bright laughter out of Lance.

“It’ll always be you and me, baby,” Keith says, grinning openly now, “only now everyone else gets to see how much I love ya.”

Lance rolls his eyes, trying to seem exasperated, but happiness bleeds off him, so obvious anyone can see.

“Sap.”

Hunk steps away from the window as they start to banter, smiling to himself. He hasn’t seen Lance this happy in a long time.

It’s good to see him smiling like that again.

———

“So,” Pidge says, once they’ve all eaten and are talking a slow walk through the woods since it’s so beautiful out, “there is not a single chance that I will be able to keep this —” she gestures to Keith and Lance as a whole, wiggling her fingers at Keith particularly — “to myself.”

“I mean, you could definitely try,” Lance points out.

“Not gonna happen,” Pidge dismisses. “Aliens are real. I’m tattooing it to my person.”

“I mean, alien is subjective,” Keith mutters, more to himself than anything. “Y’all are the weird ones, out here on your own. Everyone else is pretty chill with each other.”

Lance pats his shoulder.

“Pidge has a bit of a point,” Hunk says, glossing right over that because that’s a lot of information for one weekend. “Your mom calls once a week, dude, and I’m a shitty liar. You know that. Before I could claim plausible deniability, but yesterday I saw more than I ever wanted to see in my life. If Marcela asks me why you’ve been shanked up in your hippy cabin for months I will not be able to choke down the truth.”

“It’s not hippy,” Lance mutters. It’s Keith’s turn to pat him placatingly on the shoulder.

“I mean, we could maybe head back with y’all to the city,” the man — can Hunk call him a man? Is that alien racist? What are the rules here — suggests. “I’ve been wanting to meet your family for a while, so that would work out, right?”

Lance frowns thoughtfully. “I suppose since the cat’s out of the bag…”

Pidge clears her throat, stopping to lean against a tree. “Uh, New York is weird, sure, but not ‘show up with an alien and no one will ask questions’ weird, man.”

Hunk tilts his head. “Actually…”

“Shush, Hunk, I’m trying to make a point.”

“Oh, no, I can just be human for a bit,” Keith assures, as if that’s at all a normal thing to say. “I would have done it for you guys if we knew y’all were coming. I imagine that would have prevented all the screaming.”

Pidge nods thoughtfully. “What the fuck,” she says.

Completely oblivious to — or maybe just uncaring of — her tone, Keith holds up a finger. “Hold on a sec.”

He closes his eyes, and for a moment nothing happens, and then he starts to shimmer, slightly, like the air around him is warping, like light is blurring. It’s hard to conceptualise, so Hunk squints on reflex. When the strangeness starts to settle and Hunk relaxes his face, a regular dude is standing in Keith’s place — significantly shorter than before, although still taller than them all, pale-skinned, with regular human ears and features. His hair is still in its thick black braid, and he still has a scar on his left cheek, but it’s a faint pink instead of purple.

“You’re a regular dude,” Hunk observes. “Damn.”

Lance smirks. “A sexy dude.” He reaches over and squeezes Keith’s ass with the subtlety of a seagull eyeing a young child’s french fry.

“I’m going to go gouge out my eyes with a random stick,” Pidge says pleasantly. Lance snickers at her.

“Make sure it’s poison oak so it hurts more.”

“Make sure you catch these fucking hands, you hippie dweeb.”

“Alright,” Hunk says, clapping his hands before those two can get into it any further. (If they get the chance they’ll argue about nothing for hours, and Hunk would really like to keep his will to live). “Let’s make our way back, okay? Lance can call Marcela and then we’ll head back to the city tomorrow.”

———

The next day, they’re all stuffed into Hunk’s Jeep, speeding down the backroads (safely!) as Mariah Carey plays softly from the speakers, because Hunk has excellent taste. Hunk taps his fingers on the steering wheel, along to Lance’s quiet humming. He catches his best friend’s brown eyes through the rearview mirror and grins. Pidge is turned almost all the way around in the passenger seat, just staring, dead-eyed, unblinking, at Keith.

Keith clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably. Hunk can’t blame him. He’s known Pidge for years and years and years, and sometimes her glares still make him sweat, if she stretches them long enough. And she’s been thoughtfully glowering at Keith ever since she woke up enough to use her brain. (They left the cabin at the crack of dawn so they could make it back to the city in good time. Pidge wasn’t happy about it.) She’s just — looking at him, blankly, as she slowly finishes her third pre-prepared travel mug of the nastiest instant coffee known to man, brewed with Red Bull. Lance, who has been trying and failing to ignore her, looks like he’s debating reaching over and closing her eyes for her. He’s glowering right back.

It’s a little funny.

“Is this a human thing?” Keith asks, finally breaking the silence. “The staring?”

“Ha!” Pidge crows, pumping her fist. “I win!”

Lance protests immediately. “No way! He doesn’t know the rules!“

“Fair’s fair,” Pidge says smugly. “He squirmed. He spoke up first. I win. That’s how it does. What, does he get special treatment? Is nothing sacred anymore?”

“This game is so dumb,” Lance grumps, but doesn’t argue any further.

“Game?” Keith whispers.

Lance pats him on the thigh. “Inside joke. Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ll explain when Pidge can’t eavesdrop and sabotage our strategy.”

Keith nods seriously, as if that is normal. Hunk grins. Keith’s going to fit in just fine.

“So,” Pidge says, tone still haughty. “Now that I have won, I get one question that you must answer truthfully.”

It’s a stupid game they play. When they’re curious about something, they just start — staring. Wordlessly. At whichever one of them is doing the thing they’re curious about. Whoever breaks first has to answer the question, and you’re not allowed to lie. None of them remember who started it. Or even when it started.

But, to Pidge’s earlier point, the game is sacred. Rules are rules.

“Okay,” Keith says slowly, when Lance fails to explain further. “What’s your question?”

“How are you planning to explain to Marcela why you’ve been hogging her darling youngest son’s attention for six months? I mean, you’re not the worst person anyone has brought to Sunday family dinner. Nothing you could do will ever be worse than the time Marco brought home the girl he met when she stole his car and then she stole his car again while everyone was eating. But, you know. Still. I would have a defense attorney present, personally.”

Hunk catches Lance’s eye in the rear view mirror again, and they both look away hastily to avoid bursting into giggles.

Poor Marco. No one is ever going to let that one go.

But then the rest of Pidge’s frankly pot-stirring question hits, and panic descends upon Keith’s face just as pure annoyance descends upon Lance’s.

“Oh my God, your mother is going to kill me,” Keith breathes.

Lance reaches over and pinches Pidge as hard as he can. She screeches. Hunk rolls his eyes.

“Stop freaking out my boyfriend,” Lance orders.

“Hunk, he pinched me!” Pidge whines.

“You deserved it,” Hunk says easily. That makes Pidge whine louder, because apparently she’s regressed about fifteen years. Hunk strains to hear over the sound of Pidge muttering about all the ways she’s going to get Lance back.

“It’s going to be fine,” Lance tries, rubbing a visibly panicking Keith on the back. “My mother is barely even homicidal. She’s very welcoming.”

“I am more afraid of your mother than NASA,” Keith responds, and Hunk has to stop himself from laughing out loud.

Lance smacks Keith — way gentler than he is capable, Hunk would like to note, Lance can pack a lot of violence into that wiry frame — in the back of the head.

“I can’t believe you’re letting that goober get to you. Pidge is messing with you because of who she is as a person. My mother will be ecstatic to meet you.”

“If you say so,” Keith agrees reluctantly, rubbing the back of his head and pouting.

The rest of the ride passes uneventfully. Pidge refrains from actively freaking Keith out, if only barely, and the four of them alternate between chatting and loudly singing along to Hunk’s excellent assortment of road trip music. By the time they finally enter the hellscape that is New York City roadways, they’re all so tired of being in the car that none of them have the energy to even hum, let alone tease each other.

“We’re two minutes away,” Hunk hears Lance murmur as he pulls into the McClain’s neighbourhood. “Take a breath, mi alma. All will be well.”

Keith flashes a smile at Lance, squeezing his hand. It’s tenser than the one Hunk witnessed yesterday morning, but no less loving, no less trusting.

“Okay.”

Hunk doesn’t even fully pull into the driveway before the front door is thrown open, and several people come rushing out, yelling in a mix of Spanish and English and honestly some words that aren’t language at all, just excitement.

“Tio Lance! Auntie Pidge! Uncle Hunk!”

Sylvio and Nadia are the first to make it over, yanking open the car doors and throwing themselves into the vehicle. Pidge barely manages to prevent Nadia from braining herself on the gear shift. Hunk ruffles her hair fondly, quickly exiting the vehicle and accepting the tight hug from Lance’s father, Miguel, and the myriad of other relatives. Veronica socks him hard on the shoulder, because she is a menace, so Hunk grabs her around the waist and throws her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She yells at him in a way that does not at all hide her fondness.

It’s a ritual.

It’s not until they’re all finally gathered inside, cramped together in couches and armchairs and random places on the floor, that Keith is yanked from the metaphorical shadows.

“Who’s that?” Sylvio asks, pointing at Keith with absolutely zero subtlety. He smirks, looking tauntingly to Lance. “Tu nooooooviooooo?”

Lance looks back haughtily. “He is, actually. So there.”

“Damn. Can’t believe someone that hot managed to put up with you for so long,” Rachel teases immediately. She reaches out a hand to high five the twins. They slap her hand gleefully.

“All of you are horrible,” Marcela admonishes, placing a gentle hand on Lance’s head. Lance looks at her gratefully, then sticks his tongue out at his sister and niblings. “I’m sure Lance worked very hard wearing this poor man down,” she continues with a wry grin, making Lance squawk in betrayal and everyone else laugh. “Don’t discredit his work!”

“Nobody in this house loves me!” he laments, putting a dramatic hand on his forehead.

“I do,” Keith says quietly. Easily.

Hunk has known Lance, and by extension his family, since he was an infant. He’s been near these people as long as he can remember, attending Sunday dinners and birthdays and Christmasses.

Never in his life has he seen them get so quiet so quickly.

Keith is completely oblivious to the silence that has dawned around him. Around them — he has eyes only for Lance, and Lance only for him, like the entire rest of the world is empty except for the two of them. “I love you,” he repeats. Like the words are truer than anything. As true as the sun rising, as the stars twinkling. He says ‘I love you’ like it is objective fact, like there is no possible universe in which Keith does not love Lance.

“Ho-ly shit,” Veronica mutters.

“Holy shit indeed,” Hunk whispers back.

Marcela claps her hands sharply, startling everyone. “Dinner will be ready in a moment,” she says, transparently changing the subject. “All of you, come help set the table.”

———

“So,” says Miguel, once everyone has settled at the table and taken a few moments to stuff their faces — nobody can cook like the McClains. And Sunday family dinners are a serious affair, especially with Lance back for the first time in months. “We got a little caught up, when you all first got here. I don’t believe we were all acquainted?” He looks pointedly at Keith, then at Lance, who hurriedly swallows his bite of food before straightening up.

“This is my boyfriend, Keith,” he says to the table at large. “And Keith, this is my family.” He points to each of them in turn, naming them and giving them a second to wave hello before moving on. “And of course you already know Hunk and Pidge.”

“Believe me, we’re well acquainted,” Pidge mutters, then says “Ow!” when Lance very obviously stomps on her foot under the table. “I’m just kidding, you bully.”

“Hi, everyone,” Keith says awkwardly. He shifts his arms, like he’s not sure if he should wave or what.

Lance takes pity on him, patting him on the arm and speaking up on both of their behalf. “Sorry for not bringing him around sooner. He’s a newcomer, so we’ve been trying to get him situated. He’s a little…out of this world. Culture shock, and all.”

Hunk’s jaw drops. He looks at Lance incredulously — that may have genuinely been the worst pun he has ever heard in his life — and Lance’s mouth is twitching, like he’s fighting off a smirk.

What a shit.

“Oh?” Miguel asks, interest piqued. “Whereabouts are you from, Keith?”

Keith cuts a semi-panicked look at Lance, who just shrugs. “Pick somewhere,” he mutters, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

“My, um, my father’s from Texas,” Keith finally manages.

“Hey, cool, I have an ex girlfriend from there,” Veronica says.

“You have an ex girlfriend from everywhere, Lou Vega,” Marco says immediately.

Veronica doesn’t even blink at him. “None of my girlfriends have ever stolen my car twice, though.”

Marco shuts up immediately.

Poor Marco.

Everyone starts dogpiling on Marco immediately, because they always do. (In everyone’s, including Hunk’s, defense, it’s the kind of situation you never come back from). Keith looks relieved at the distraction, happy the conversation has moved from him as everyone chats about everything.

“Hey, Lance, can you pass me the pepper?” Hunk asks, as the rest of the family chatters on.

“Sure.” Lance sets down his fufu, wiping his hands on a napkin and grabbing the pepper shaker. He reaches across Keith to hand it to Hunk.

The next few seconds happen in what feels like slow motion.

Lance’s hands, greasy from handling his food, slip on the smooth glass of the shaker as he tries to hand it off to Hunk. The shaker drops on Keith’s plate, shattering on impact and releasing a cloud of pepper straight into Keith’s face. Keith, obviously, inhales a lungful of it. In his body’s effort to expel the pepper from his lungs, he lets out a great sneeze, so powerful it shakes the table.

So powerful it knocks the human form right out of him, making him huge and purple and fluffy again.

For the second time in his life, Hunk watches the entire McClain clan go completely silent, staring at Keith in total shock.

“Well,” Lance says weakly, making a face that Hunk can only describe as defeated. “I told you he was out of this world.”

[soultheta]

"PRESENTING: The Biblically Accurate Rubber Duck!! It undermines you & gives you depression!! Hahaaaa..."