#bi things make me so happy
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Jump || 12/16/2024
#sometimes i see a super pretty sky that makes me genuinely and wholeheartedly start jumping up and down because of how happy it makes me#today was one of those days- this sunset was one that brought me so much joy i didn't care if anybody saw or judged me for acting the way#i did. the happiness that bubbled inside of me was overwhelming and overflowing that i just have to jump excitedly#unfortunately the night took a turn for the worst so sharing this sunset is helping me not burst into tears right now#this is me making a conscious effort to not shut the entire world away when things get really bad.#Sunset Hoe™#there's no sunset today#<- your bi weekly reminder to block that tag if you don't want to read me being depressed on your dashboard
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'dragon age has gone woke!111!!'
you mean the series that has poc characters and lgbt characters in every game? you mean the series that has multiple trans characters? you mean the series that has a whole quest revolving around a gay man?
i didn't realize grifters could overlook all of that, but they draw the line at top surgery scars, but i guess they never play the games they complain about.
#im so surprised there's anti-lgbt dragon age fans#actually i kind of can bc some people can be a little weird and lowkey homophobic if you romance a bi character with the same gender#that happens in any game with bi romances tho its not specific to this series#kind of reminds of the anti-lgbt and pro corpo cyberpunk 2077 fans tbh#im surprised grifters dont complain about how slavery is shown as a bad thing /hj#im not sure if the prostitute(?) in da2 is a trans woman or a drag queen but i know theres a trans character in one of the comics#theres also obviously krem#right wing grifters pls never interact with my favorite media ever again#yall never play the games you complain about and it pisses me off sm#anyways im so happy to get to make my character be like me!#and im so happy i dont get stuck with 2 romance choices as a gay man#sorry i know we shouldnt be giving attention to grifters but it pisses me off sm even though their tiles & thumbnails are so goofy#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#kwyoz.txt
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[Start ID. A digital drawing of Minos Prime from Ultrakill, who's wearing a strapless slit dress and sandals of the same deep purple. He faces towards and slightly to the right of the camera, his head is tilted further right. With one hand he gestures in a vague pointing motion, his arm folded and held close to his body. There is nothing in the background, but bracing himself on one arm, Minos is implied to be leaning against something about the height of a countertop. The background is a blank purplish black, save for three diagonal stripes in the colors of the bisexual flag. End ID]
Shading study that quite literally came to me in a dream two weeks ago, after this post apparently beamed itself into my mind
(also a few edits below the cut! they're very slight but whatever :])
[Start ID. Three different versions of the previous drawing. The first changes the tone of the lighting from blue to pink, and similarly the shading from pink to blue. The second replaces the faint black border with pink, purple and blue, syncing with the stripes in the background. The third combines both these changes. End ID]
#the tags got NERFED so let's try this again.#peridots-art#minos prime ultrakill#ultrakill#ask to tag#organs#...? gore maybe? for the whole ''transparent chest/visible cardiovascular system'' thing. not very detailed/realistic though so#i don't think this has all of the same charm as i usually find in my posts. but i tried my best to make it work so i don't think it matters#also ''not too happy with how this turned out'' is something i've seen tacked onto posts worthy of being preserved in museums#i heard someone say his snakes should be ball pythons. i'm not autistic about snakes so i decided to listen to the masters#i still have seven levels to p-rank before i can meet this guy!! halfway there (lust/greed and 1-3 remaining) i've only had my own copy#of ultrakill for a week and i already have 33 hours in. anyway he's grown on me i think. absolute bi king and only monarch i respect <3#i think it's interesting how i now define my queerness by being gray-ace and trans when i first only identified with bisexual. it's still#an important part of me even if sometimes i forget. sorry that sounds completely unrelated but it's related to my feelings on this piece#anyway (i wonder how many ''anyway''s i've slapped on so far) i also find it interesting how often people draw him with this body type.#i think it's cool there's variety in how people draw the uk characters. it just kinda feels right here? i know i unfortunately don't draw#fat characters often at all (partially due to being a primarily fandom blog who likes to stick to canon designs. i wouldn't say i have#trouble with drawing a realistic amount of fat even on rather thin people though lol) but i try! also genuinely unsure what counts as like.#fat vs chubby? or whatever? i don't know exactly how the terminology works and a fair amount of minos' bulk is muscle anyway but. yeah 👍#men are pretty in dresses my final message. goodbye#peridots-described
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#i dont think i will ever be able to tell if im bi or gay or or#shucks mannnn compulsory heterosexuality makes me immediately sick#and in the literal sense too#like i was at my friend's wedding and brought a guy (a friend of mine or acquaintance more like. i just thought he is a good fit for#wedding party. and he was)#but all my friends were immediately like. as soon as he went to the bathroom. they were going ' you should 100% date him'#'he is a good husband material' 'we could finally go on double dates🤠'#right after i felt so sick i thought i was gonna throw up#i mean it might be the alcohol kicking in but i just find it funny that i felt it after they said all that#two of my friends wanted to speak in private with me and were like 'is he..? are u considering him AT LEAST?'#i know they had no bad intentions. quite the opposite but years after years i still get sad (understatement tbh) abt it..#another part of me knows that this is my fault bc i should've just communicated that i am not comfortable about such comments and#that i (surprise surprise) might not be straight! and that this isnt any default sexuality#buuuuuut how do i tell them this when i honestly dont feel like telling them so that i am able to figure things out on my own terms. i mean#one of my friends kind of knows and i never ever said anything to confirm nor deny anything xjhstwfy why is it so hard#on the other hand. yesterday for the first time i kind of got the feeling that it doesnt matter and that either way i will find happiness#SOME DAY maybe and i dont have to say anything and i can just not take their ~advice seriously and go on about my life#mine
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Different anon here- I’m generally ok with mpreg existing. But the sheer volume of it in this fandom is pretty weird. Especially considering the source material… one of the great things about the unholy family (to me) is that it’s this family unit without the necessity for sexual reproduction. It’s so interesting because they all had lives outside of each other at some point so it’s part found family, part queer and yet biological parents. I think that’s one of the things I first loved about the 1994 movie and it’s a shame that aspect is overlooked
(x)
Yeah, I totally agree on all counts. Like I don't usually bat an eye at mpreg (whatever floats your boat! I'm very good at scrolling, haha) but there have literally been times I've opened ao3 and have counted five or six fics on the front page of updated works that are mpreg which feels really disproportionate to the amount of fic that actually gets posted in this fandom?
I - - mmm, kind of wonder a little if its tied to some of this gender essentialist stuff that's coming up more and more both in this fandom, and in social media generally? There feels like there's this real desire to shoehorn them into a quote-unquote 'traditional nuclear family dynamic' which really feels like it's the antithesis of the show. Like you said, the fact that they've all had lives outside of each other is, and the fact that as a family they are both one found and made is, I feel, pretty crucial not just to their interpersonal dynamics, but also to each individual character?
#this kind of goes back to my original point too but there are also so many ways queer couples have children now?#a good friend of mine and her wife have just had a baby#and one of their best friends#who's a gay man#donated the sperm#which is like! not uncommon?#and he is loving getting to be fun uncle (and has 0 desire to be dad haha)#although apparently has been around quite a bit to help out which makes me very happy for ash and her wife#like idk if i really wanted to write a baby claudia fic#i feel like the obvious thing would be to write lily as the surrogate#especially because then you can keep the themes of the show with louis' ease with commodifying women's bodies by y'know#renting a womb#while also getting to keep lestat's messy feelings about being an outsider to louis and claudia if louis' the bio dad#or louis' weirdness about lestat being bi AND claudia being more like lestat than him if lestat's the bio dad#there's DRAMA to unpack there y'know?#but then i do remind myself that a lot of these sorts of fics don't want there to be drama hahaha#so whatever you could also keep it cute!#but yeah#it's really interesting#iwtv asks
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Every time a man w long hair cuts his hair I am reaffirmed in my sexuality. Bc wdym all of a sudden ur just a man again and not a pretty breedable and submissive little thing anymore.....
#Is this fucked up? Perhaps. But it is my truth#Pretty man w long hair has me questioning whether I might be bi and then he cuts his hair and all of a sudden I'm like oh :/#Like DID I see him as a girl????? I fucking guess so?#This is the peak of parasociality btw. This wld never happen irl#Bc irl I'd go omg prettyyyy ur making me feel things 👀 and then we would speak and I'd go oh nvm <3#I really am a lesbian I can't help it 😭 I can have very deep and beautiful friendships w men#But good god i would simply not be happy in a relationship w a man i fear#Anyway. Shoutout to that guy who I will NOTTTT be tagging bc i fear the stans <3
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🥹
#guys…my son came out to me today#I’ve suspected he might not be completely straight for a while now#but today he confirmed that he’s bi#when he said it I felt a swell of happiness#because he was comfortable enough to tell me#I told him that I wouldn’t make him talk about it if he didn’t want to#because I don’t wanna make it a weird subject for him#but I’m so happy that he trusts me with that information about himself#anyway I’m feeling pretty good about things and I wanted to share
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!
Remember that nonbinary, aromantic, and asexual people belong at Pride, and I am fully prepared to kick your ass if you disagree with me on that.
XOX Admin Aster
#not wtnv#not an ask#Happy pride!#Sorry it's a day late#For the record:#Admin (me) is nonbinary#And my sister is aroace#And I am sick of seeing people say that we're not valid while our other sister (bi) almost never gets comments like#“that's not a real thing you're making it up”#So yeah if I see you saying I don't exist or my little sister is just faking it#Pistols at dawn and I won't be needing any backup
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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i need to invent new words to explain how much i love them and how they make me feel so that i can tell them and somehow they will know what that word means and !!!!!!!!!
#pup talks#TGIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE A VAUGEPOST I GOT ALL TEARY BECAUSE I HAD A DEPRESSION MOMENT AND I OPENED TUMBLR AND I HAD DMS FROM LAL#LALA AND DOLL AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT HOW ME N LALA WHERE DRAWING TOGETHER AND STUFF AND#LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!#do you ever feel so loved that the part of your brain thats trying to tell you thats your awful stops being able to justify itself for a bi#you still feel shaken around but thats what they do to me thats what i wanna do to them i love you with my whole heart isnt strong enough#🪽#♡#it took me hours to put this into words#if i could reset myself and fix my mistakes and things i cringe at i would not because this version of my life has all of you in it#and i fall in love with you every time we talk and every time something about you changes im hopeless#i want to be there even if your at your worst or struggling to make words or passionate about the dumbest thing ever idc if i dont like the#thing i love to hear you happy i love to talk to you YOU make me happy and i want to listen!!!!!! to you!!!!!#you make me a braver version of myself!!!!!!! and your the people that i think of when im soososo cozy!!!!!!#comeing home from a long day at school (burning disaster life) to a soft bed (the lovers)
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i genuinely don't know what changed where i experience active romance repulsion so much now but like. goddamn that shit is not for me. good to know! important to know these things about yourself!
#like i'm genuinely happy for my friends who r in relationships and it makes me happy to be around them#but that's bc it's their business and desires etc#i don't even super like reading romance anymore. not that it was ever a big category for me but like. i saw the appeal#it's not that reading or watching it makes me actively uncomfortable so much as i prefer basically every other close relationship dynamic#mostly the addition bores me. but also it doesn't make me Comfortable ig#and my ex has been really great about wanting to be careful w how he describes us and talks to me as we've been figuring things out#but sometimes even he says something that reads a little too romantic to me and it sets stuff off. which is Fine it's not his problem#he's being super great abt it and we communicate about everything#and it's not a complete 180 either i wasn't a fan of romance stuff before i just do not want it near me at All anymore#anyway. those r my bi-monthly aro ramblings.#maybe the repulsion piece will change at some point! but also i look back at my life and how frequently i said i didn't want a relationship#- growing up and how i was like. made to believe by society if not the people close to me that that wasn't true. and that i still have#- the same response now as i did in 7th grade and starting college. so#i just get SUCH bad crushes which is a stupid affliction to have at the same time. i literally want. so bad. that's it tho!#ted talks
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still thinking about how one of my first yyh meta posts got reblogged onto an sjw cringe comp blog in the year of our woke 2022. truly tumblr dot com, the last bastion of progressivism, has fallen (<- sarcasm) and also i'm kinda baffled that they didn't choose like. me putting yusuke in a skirt or something
#the post was a joke about how sensui might've been lackluster/bad DID rep i liked that all 7 of them were on board with wiping out humanity#like a LOT of my yyh content would make really good fodder for this kind of blog and they went for THAT?? damn#i could probably run a better sjw fail blog than them. i won't bc i choose to spend my time on equally unproductive yet nicer things but#like. guys my he/him nb bi arospec yusuke content is RIGHT THERE. the trans hiei stuff. the kuwameshi rants GUYS IM PRACTICALLY#SPOONFEEDING YOU DELICIOUS NUTRITIOUS CONTENT AND YOU CONTINUE TO SHOVEL DIRT IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD#note: i don't think i've actually posted about yusuke being arospec but it might actually be my strongest hc about him#nb yusuke is mostly bc it makes me happy and a tiny bit bc of his approach to gender social norms and group divisions#i think he would think gender is stupid yknow? why the hell should he be a man just bc a bunch of ppl decided it for him?#i think it touches on his anti-authority + anti-chivalry thing well. he has a certain kind of openmindedness to him (emphasis on 'certain#kind' there) visible in his approach to fighters and demon-human relations#bi yusuke is bc he has some of the most 'yeah obv i'd fuck a dude guys are hot. this is an opinion everyone has' energy i've ever seen#but i think arospec yusuke touches on his arc (esp his relationship with keiko) much more prominently#anyway i think it only ended up on there bc someone rbed it talking about a limitation in my perspective (judging 90s rep by 2022 standards#and while i think the points raised were largely valid the guy who made them seems to have been in that kinda circle#also this post reminded me that i (probably?) haven't made a joke on here i've been making to myself for years so im gonna go post that now#anyway most of you weren't around for that so i thought this would be a fun bit of lore to share
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Imagine an internet where being bi and trans is not seen as the cuntenserven itabsolutely is, but as 'bad luck'
#things that occur in yt comments#thats so absurd to me and it makes me so happy to Be in this place where. we're all bi and trans#quip
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opened twitter today and literally half of the posts on my timeline were biphobia, which just kinda sucks to have the first thing you see on twitter that day be people who don’t even know me telling me i’m wrong about my own sexuality, or saying im not bi im just in denial about comp-het or blaming bi people for the biphobia they face and invalidating the homophobia they face because ‘you can just chose to be in a straight passing relationship’ 🫠
which… that’s really not how it works lol, like bisexuality doesn’t mean you just pick who you like and then get feelings for them, it works just the same as literally any other orientation and i thought that would’ve been common knowledge (although maybe i’m being too generous by assuming genuine ignorance there instead of deliberate obtuseness)
it’s not just online, people feel so comfortable being casually biphobic irl. like, i don’t get comments on it super often, but i’ve had a couple of comments made (mostly by other queer people!!) that are just super invalidating or insensitive things to say. but because they’re not being directly homophobic they don’t see it as being an actually fucked up thing to say.
there’s been a couple of things that i’ve laughed im off in the moment, or like gone away from the conversation and told someone else ‘hey listen to this funny thing my friend said’ only to realise days or weeks later that they were actually just saying something fucked up lol
just let me be bisexual in peace, im literally just chilling i don’t see what the issue is
#like i’m just being chill and happy#i really don’t see why it’s such an issue to people#people don’t seem to recognise biphobia as an actual thing#then when you do complain about it it gets minimised as not that bad#but like#some of the shit people feel comfortable saying to me is just straight up old fashioned homophobia rebranded#telling me i can choose who i’m attracted to and should just choose to be straight/gay instead of bi#and it’s so rarely cishet people that feel comfortable saying this shit??#like i don’t mean to start a fight within the community but the comments i get from cishet people are just regular homophobia#it’s only really other queer people that make comments specifically about my bisexual rather than generally my queerness#kinda sucks!!!#anyway#being silly and having fun#sheeb bi posting
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so in love with the idea of my f/os loving and supporting my sexuality
#ash rambles 💚#i was doing a bit of healthy reflection on myself and my goals and the such this morning#and i've come to realize that i've gotten so much hate for identifying as unlabeled that it honestly makes me feel so horrible#there's no 'figuring things out' because i already HAVE figured things out#i know what i am and there's this pressure on me to pick. i dont want to. i see my sexuality as just me existing#sexuality and love is a fluid thing and i can never see myself picking one thing and sticking to it without feeling confined#i just really love being unlabeled. it's freeing and makes me happy#and i love the thought of my f/os loving me and supporting me for that. what matters isnt labels but that we love each other#i feel this way especially in the case of the f/os that i hc as bi. we all like the same kind of people but we're still different and we#respect that about each other#just thinking out loud i guess#my f/os are very supportive methinks! there's also a few i hc as unlabeled too actually aksjajsk one of us!!! one of us!!!
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