#bi!john sheppard

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Every version on John in my head is queer. Whether he’s bi, gay, aro or ace (or both). It’s gotten to the point where I can no longer comprehend him as straight. It’s like straight John Sheppard is an oxymoron.

honestly???? same. i have nothing against a straight john!! i just personally.... do not see it at all. there's just something so fundamentally queer about him to me idk maybe it's just projection but there's just something about his character that feels so queer to me?? i love gay!john and aroace!john so much, and bi!john is just so fun but i really just cannot see him as straight no matter how hard i try

[dr-futbol-blog]

Our hero, Major John Sheppard is stationed at McMurdo base in Antarctica at the start of the series. We learn that he likes it there. Sheppard himself tells Teyla in Sateda (S03E04): "Well, that [having no social skills] is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness."

This is what John Sheppard tells us but we learn that what he tells us is not always the truth and certainly not the whole truth.

The alien AI that created a hallucination from Sheppard's own subconscious in Remnants (S05E15) poses him the question: "You're either someone with a death wish or someone running away from something. So tell me: what are you running away from?" Running away to the most remote part of his world, running away to another galaxy.

In fact, he has both been banished to and self-isolated in the most remote part of his world ("You torture yourself every day, John.") due to his "black mark" acquired in Afghanistan. We are never explicitly told what this black mark was, only that it bothered Gen. O'Neill and was something that Dr. Weir could live with. We are left wondering.

While we are shown something of what happened in Afghanistan during the episode Phantoms (S03E09), through the hallucinations from Sheppard's past of him failing to save Capt. Charlie Holland, it isn't until toward the end of the series that we find out what happened through the mirror of a parallel reality in Vegas (S05E19), where alt!Rodney tells us "You were a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan but were dishonourably discharged for disobeying orders and trying to rescue a field medic trapped behind enemy lines. You were shot down – obviously survived, but unfortunately the crash killed four American soldiers along with eight civilians. You avoided jail time; the record was sealed for various political reasons."

The field medic in the Vegas-verse, one where "infinite variations of our own known reality where alternate versions of you and I play out events", is female; this revealed in a mumbled 'ur' (I didn't even catch it on first viewing even though I knew about the gender swap in advance; it might just as well have been "knew 'em") in alt!Rodney's line: "That field medic – the one you defied orders to go back and try and rescue. You knew her personally. You were... involved."

This was one of the differences between the two realities, perhaps even the most defining one of them, the point of divergence.

Vegas Sheppard dies to the tune of Johnny Cash's Solitary Man because that's what he was, a recluse (and note that the importance of Johnny Cash was underlined in the episode by Sheppard taking nothing but his poster, the same Johnny Cash poster that our Sheppard had in his quarters for all of the five years, with him once he walked away from his job; it carries weight):

I know it's been done havin' one girl who loved me Right or wrong, weak or strong Don't know that I will, but until I can find me The girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me I'll be what I am

But our Sheppard is not a Solitary Man (he has self-confessedly found something of a family in Pegasus). He's the Man in Black (in fact, he is dressed in black throughout the series even in situations where other fatigues would have made more sense; it is only in the very last episode that we see him in lighter colours):

I'd love to wear a rainbow every day And tell the world that everything's okay But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back 'Til things are brighter, I'm the man in black

We know the background. When the series begun, DADT was still in full effect, the franchise had a long-standing co-operation with the USAF, Prop 8 was still several years into the future. The non-normative sexual orientation of an All-American Action Hero was never going to be main-text. Even heterosexual romance between characters was mostly eschewed by the franchise. But damn if the subtext doesn't lay it out thick for us.

There are so many obvious parallels and comparisons in the show that I need to write them down somewhere, and while this is a day late and a dollar short, this fandom could do with some meta. So this marks the beginning of my journey through Stargate Atlantis with an eye on its bisexual protagonist.

[dr-futbol-blog]

WIth tags: #Sheppard/Holland#John Sheppard#Charlie Holland#or Lyle Holland if you please#SGA legacy novels#these are basically fanfic so I guess take them as canon or not#but they're pretty fun (at least the first few)#LtCol Mel Hocken is John's lesbian friend from college who is the 302 squadron commander on Sam's ship#Hocken says John was a sweet awkward kid in college if anyone cares to know

The tie-in novels might be semi-canon at the best of times but it does go to show that several people have made the same, actually rather obvious, connection. I mean, I made the reading immediately still half-way through watching Phantoms for the first time, but Vegas only confirmed it by swapping the gender. The only possible reason for it would have been to confirm what many had already suspected of the other Sheppard.

Also, and I'll return to this later, the timeline of his court martial, divorce and falling out with his father are not made explicitly clear but Vegas also suggests that the thing was swept under the rug for political reasons, and Outcast, an episode that is 100% about the prodigal gay coming back home (Jesus Christ, it's in the title; and while they're all very polite about it, everyone at the funeral thought that he brought this beefcake boytoy with him to rub it in, a final act of defiance), suggests that John's father would have had both the clout and the motivation to make this happen. Also, Sheppard, bitterly if I may say so, describes his brother with: "That's what he does – he handles things."

My heart breaks for this man.

Thought I'd post some of the interesting Holland/Sheppard stuff from the SGA Legacy novels by Jo Graham as we're chatting about them on @dr-futbol-blog's brilliant post here: https://www.tumblr.com/dr-futbol-blog/749734927874113536/stargate-atlantis-s01e01-rising-1-on-make-a-gif

As some background, in novel #2 (The Lost) Teyla & John are in a cave after John makes a typical rash Sheppard-style decision and bad things happen (it was to potentially find Rodney who is missing, so honestly what's new.) John has a nightmare about his attempted rescue of Holland and he and Teyla talk about the events of Phantoms:

Teyla talks with Major Tyrone Franklin who was in Afghanistan at the time Sheppard's court-martial was going down and talks about some other charges:

Then in novel #4 (The Furies):

Sam ends up (rightfully) giving a sharply worded warning to Major Franklin, who is her First Officer, and Lorne is the best.

Sam and John also have a discussion about frat rules and DADT:

[spurious]

It’s Cultural

The day after the data burst including news of the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell comes through, Rodney walks into Sheppard’s office and notices a little rainbow flag sitting unobtrusively in the cup where John keeps two pens and five perfectly sharpened number two pencils.

“Ah,” Rodney says, nodding to the flag, “congratulations to your government for joining the rest of us in the twenty-first century.”

That gets him a sharp, sarcastic smile, Sheppard leaning back in his chair and twirling a pen—his pen, not one of the crappy BICs from the cup—between long, clever fingers.

“Good of you to, um,” one of Rodney’s hands comes up, circling through the air, “show support.” He snaps his fingers, suddenly remembering the term Jeannie’d used to describe herself during one of those phone calls where Rodney felt like he was only following about half of what was being said, “Allies are, well, important, and all that.”

John blinks two times, twirls the pen once, and says, “Well, I’m gay, actually.”

“Oh!” Rodney says, half of his brain turning to static. He nods his head, hears himself say, “cool,” and watches John’s mouth do something before he rights his chair, looks like he’s about to speak.

“Gentlemen,” and Woolsey’s voice right at his left shoulder makes Rodney startle, whirling around with wide eyes. “Senior staff meeting?”

“Right behind you,” Sheppard says, sliding smoothly out of his chair, and then it’s just another day on Atlantis.

Another day on Atlantis for Rodney, right now, means spending four hours elbow-deep in the wiring of the city’s power systems, which have been acting screwy ever since they flew the city back to Pegasus. He makes good progress, actually, focused and in the zone, and he doesn’t even realize that some siloed-off part of his mind has been working on the morning’s revelation until Sheppard shows up for dinner and chess and Rodney suddenly has about fourteen pressing questions for him.

Over the years, Rodney’s heard John Sheppard share personal information about himself on vanishingly few occasions, even fewer if it’s narrowed down to times when he’s been in full possession of his faculties, but since it had been nine in the morning and they’d all already been vaccinated against most Pegasus truth serums, he has to conclude that this detail about Sheppard’s sexuality was, in fact, freely given. It’s that conclusion that makes Rodney open his mouth (though he waits till they’re alone in his quarters, chess board between them, because he’s got no reason to believe that John isn’t still near-pathologically private).

“So you’re,” Rodney says, setting down the pawn in his hand, “you’re gay gay? Not like, bi, or, or…uh, heteroflexible, or…”

John sighs like he’s expected this, and picks up one of his bishops, the piece looking long and ivory between his tanned fingers. “Gay gay,” he confirms.

Rodney nods, compares this to the data set. “What about—you were married, to a woman, and the, the ancient priestesses, and Larrin—“

John gives him a thoughtful look, like he’s trying to decide whether to brush this whole thing off or not, and then he sets the bishop down, leans back against Rodney’s couch.

“Look, it’s kind of like…” he pauses, furrowing his brow, and Rodney realizes he’s not getting the brush-off, he’s actually getting the hard-won John Sheppard honesty, which usually doesn’t show up unless someone’s nearly died recently. “You know how you’re a kid and your parents take you to church every Sunday, but when you grow up you just,” John shrugs, “you just go on Christmas and Easter ‘cause it’s what you’re supposed to do?”

Rodney blinks. Sometimes he forgets that John is actually just as weird as he is, underneath the hair and handsomeness and athleticism.

“So you’re saying you…” Rodney wavers, trying to speak within the analogy John’s set up, “you fuck women culturally?”

John shrugs. “Essentially, yeah.”

[hannibalsjuicyass]

Doing one for Rodney next

[nimuetheseawitch]

Hawkeye and Sheppard

Hawkeye

1: sexuality headcanon

Bisexual. I tend to headcanon everyone as bi, but Hawkeye is the most bisexual.

2: otp

Hunnihawk. I kind of sighed a lot before writing that. I actually think piercintyre is more likely, and I have a soft spot for punnihawk, but hunnihawk is still my original pairing. They're kind of terrible and doomed, but I love them.

3: brotp

Margaret. They are great for each other as friends.

4: notp

He's shippable with almost everyone, so I think I'll go with Potter.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Jewish Hawkeye

6: favorite line from this character

For your amusement and bemusement, I give you the human person: thumb and fingers flexing madly, straining to keep aloft the leaden realities of life: ignorance, death, and madness. Thus we create for ourselves the illusion that we have power. That we are in control. That we are loved.

I have this pinned for a reason. Hawkeye says a lot of great things, but this is basically his thesis statement.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Oh boy, so many to choose from. I think I'm really drawn to his huge heart. He loves so much and so hard, and it's very relatable.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Some of his pick up lines.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

You know, I think he's more of a cinnamon roll.

John Sheppard

1: sexuality headcanon

Oh, I have so many, and they don't all work together. He's bisexual, he's ace, he's gay. But, as always, I lean towards him being bisexual.

2: otp

McShep.

3: brotp

Teyla. I love them best as friends. They're so good, and they would do anything for each other. And she can kick his ass.

4: notp

Again, he's a very shippable character. But I just am not interested in John/Todd.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He knows how to ballroom dance because he had to go to cotillions. (Was just talking about this)

6: favorite line from this character

"I shot him!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Bored smart kid vibes.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

When he didn't know Teldy's team was all female. Also that track suit from the mist planet.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Oh, so problematic. All the war crimes, and he's US military, and kind of an asshole.

[itwoodbeprefect]

I posted 3,947 times in 2022

207 posts created (5%)

3,740 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@smileylover99

@spaceradars

@eg515

@redgoldblue

@randomkiwibirds

I tagged 2,875 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#starsky and hutch - 360 posts

#* - 208 posts

#mash - 142 posts

#sga - 125 posts

#art - 90 posts

#leverage - 79 posts

#tos - 75 posts

#our flag means death - 61 posts

#eurovision - 54 posts

#fanart - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it scares him half to death but mostly for how much he wants it to be true – to not need to keep this to himself even if it’s just for once

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

when you’re a priest and for a second there it seems like this wedding might have brought gays to your church. and it has, but also they’re cops

160 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

#4

“something’s queer. let’s check it out.”

or: a compilation! he’s here because he’s here because he’s practically the only character that says the word queer.

also, adding in the old post that got us to this point:

176 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#3

shoutout to serpico pacino for his immaculate sense of style. weird bucket hat, full beard, earring (not visible), double bangle bracelet, whatever those clothes are, and a mouse. literally who could do it better

215 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

#2

love me a male main character who is ambiguously and yet so very sharply queer. benton fraser, hawkeye pierce, john sheppard, ken hutchinson even, if you’re feeling wild. is he gay? is he asexual, bi, aromantic, anything in between? is he even a he? yes. also no. also both and neither. he’s schrödinger’s man. this is the perfect character type

224 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

people who only speak languages that don’t make compound words by smashing multiple existing words together into one big mess of letters with no spaces will never experience the epic highs and lows of reading a salad recipe that calls for “kerstomaatjes”, which depending on where your brain thinks the cutoff point should be could mean either cherry tomatoes (kers-tomaatjes) or small christmas grannies (kerst-omaatjes). it’s “let’s eat, grandma!” vs. “let’s eat grandma!” all over again, but concentrated into a single word, which, as two prominent examples of humorous language mishaps, should set one thinking about the international linguist community’s apparent repressed desire to cannibalize their maternal forebears. in this essay i will

3,903 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dorothyoz39]

Fanfic Tag Game

I wasn't tagged by anyone but I saw this game and I loved it. So I'll be the one tagging others... And just to encourage people, I'll start answering myself...

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 41

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 513,790

3. What fandoms do you write for? Stargate, The Musketeers, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, mostly. I've writen for other fandoms in the past and sometimes I write short stuff from other fandoms but I've yet to go over the folder where I put that to organize it and post it.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Kirk Myth (SGA): John Sheppard/Cam Mitchell

Friends and Lovers (SGA): John Sheppard/Cam Mitchell

Booth's new life (Bones)

Vacations in paradise (SGA): John Sheppard/Cam Mitchell

Genetics (SG1): Sam Carter/Jack O'Neill

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always (at least I think I always do. If I don't answer, I've probably missed the comment or thought that I've answered but not). I love interacting with the readers.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? No, sorry, I don't end the fics with angst. The ending can be sad but I always leave room for hope of things getting better.

Enough sad stuff around. My "fun writing" is served with happy ending or hopeful ending.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? IDK, many of them. Any of my John Sheppard/Cam Mitchel fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've never gotten hate in my fics. I remember getting a few comments complaining about "adult" stuff in fanfiction.net but since I moved to AO3 I've gotten none (and I've been there since... IDK... 2012

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, I do.

Not sure how to answer the "what kind" question. I tend to queerficate my characters so even when the couple is m/f, I often make one of them bi, so my smut is always queer. I sometimes do kink but not too heavy... My smut often includes oral sex and explicit consent is super important to me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Once. I did that once. It was a Bones/SG1 crossover in which I made Pelant a goa'uld... I just hated that Bones storyline soooo much because it made noooo sense from the beginning and it just got worse and worse and worse... and it lasted so long. So I just wanted to make fun of it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, fortunately that has never happened.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No. Though, I write in english even though is not my native language.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? No, but I once took inspiration from one and wrote a "sequel" of shorts (with the author's permision, of course and using the "inspided by" feature).

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Sam/Jack (SG1) and Sheppard/Mitchel (SGA and SG1). Though, not the only ones.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will? Never say never! I'd really like to finish "The Kirk Myth" but it's second in the list. By that I mean that I organized by WIPs in line and started to work on finishing them as I write the new stories. Focusing on one old WIP at a time (and 1 new story) is actually helping me to get real progess in finishing them. So, even though, I get the urge to write some other WIPs, I'm not.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think worldbuilding. I love thinking about how stuff works and I love filling the gaps the show leave about that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I think loosing focus and writing 3 million things at a time resulting in never finishing them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? I think is cool, if the character speaks that language it sometimes feels more natural to see it writen in it. Even when I don't understand it. Most authors write a translation in the notes or somewhere.

19. First fandom you wrote for? SG1 but I started posting for Bones. Remember what I said about 3 million proyects at a time... that's the reason

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? IDK, I don't think I have a favorite fic of my own fics.

Tagging @1989nihil @rachaeljurassic @arrowsbane @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter @wingsofhcpe @animanightmate @whopooh & anyone else who wants to do this, assume I tagged you <3

[justhere4thewhump]

See, I never saw him as asexual. I always saw him as being hetero but had decided at some point that he was incapable (and likely felt unworthy) of love while also fulfilling his duty to serve and protect. The man was such a protector that he avoided the “love connection” to make things easier when he had to sacrifice himself or make tough calls. Of course, his love spilled over to his close friends so they sometimes clouded his judgement anyway.

I think the main reason I felt that was was because 1) he had sex/it was implied/showed attraction towards various one-off female characters, 2) Conversion had him kiss Teyla, which in my opinion, was because he was reverting back to mostly acting on impulse and instinct, and shedding inhibitions and 3) John Sheppard was definitely the epitome of a tortured hero in that he was a loner prior to Atlantis, with no real family and disgraced in his line of work for being brave and loyal to friends “to a fault.” So when he finally found his place: a job he excelled at and a “family” who loved him, I think he was desperate to not mess it up.

Now I am not asexual in real life but when it comes to my shows, I aurally am. I think ships amongst main characters make things so messy, dramatic and predictable and almost always become such a focus of what used to be more of an action show (I specifically watch shows that aren’t heavy on relationships for this very reason). For example, I loved NCIS but Tiva became too much and even Densi became too overpowering (in my opinion, of course).

Anyway, with all of that said, I think Sheppard/Teyla would have been the only ship I ever would have supported. Mostly because I feel like they would’ve both maintained the essence of their characters while only giving brief glimpses into the inner workings of their deeper relationship. I also feel like they would have complimented each other damn near perfectly and that the writers wouldn’t have turned the show into a love drama.

On that note (and since I doubt anyone will actually read all of my musings) I will say that there are a lot more McShep fans than there were back when it was airing. Which is totally cool and while I do not see either of them as gay or bi, I do agree that their bond was such an amazing one. They were perfect foil characters in that John was heroic, stoic and physically attractive but had a deeply rooted and often hidden intellect and never-fit-in vibe. While Rodney was an outright intellectual who seemed to embrace his inability to fit in while also exuding timidity and fear. But turns out he had deeply rooted bravery and a desire to be accepted by others. Besides, their banter was priceless!

If John "I never see this coming" Sheppard is not asexual, why'd they make it look like the Iratus bug DNA in Conversion made caused him to feel sexual attraction for the first time ever?

"That was... interesting..." Is not the way I personally would have responded to kissing Teyla, but you go Bug!Shep.

[ao3feed-mcshep]

Reciprocity

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/LTyOEXG

by Mas_Pebbles_Sharp

“Okay, Sheppard, your bi-curiosity is deafening me. How about we settle the question for you and move on with our lives, hmmm?” John’s heart does a little jump of hope, but then stumbles. When Rodney came out to John as bi, he’d asked John, blunt as ever, if guys did it for John sexually, and John had answered an honest no. Rodney had barrelled onward with the conversation, not giving John a chance to explain any more. Because he would have, could have said: Nobody does it for me sexually, exactly. 

Words: 2994, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Jennifer Keller, Nancy Sheppard

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Ronon Dex/John Sheppard, Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagan/Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan/Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan/Jennifer Keller, Ronon Dex/Jennifer Keller, Teyla Emmagan/Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller, John Sheppard/Nancy Sheppard

Additional Tags: McShep - Freeform, OT4, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Reciprosexuality, Bisexuality, Polyamory

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/LTyOEXG

[dr-futbol-blog]

Stargate Atlantis meta (Season 1 - episodes 1-13)

Here you can find all the entries for Season 1 (episodes 1-13) gathered together for an easier reading.

Intro

1 Rising

3 Hide and Seek

4 38 Minutes

Bonus

5 Suspicion

6 Childhood's End

7 Poisoning the Well

8 Underground

Part 1

Part 2

9 Home

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

10 The Eye/The Storm

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

12 The Defiant One

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

13 Hot Zone

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Season 2 (Episodes 14-20)

[spurious]

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

john sheppard is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! li syaoran is bi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fight me (especially syaoran. fight. me.)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Sokka from ATLA. I LOVE SOKKA SO MUCH. He is Just A Guy among these people with insane powers and he takes it in stride and uses his intelligence and ingenuity and perseverance to contribute! He's clever and funny and wonderful and I would die for him.

Edgeworth in Ace Attorney. He is such a ridiculous person I love him so much. His weird stiltedness, his horrible past, the way he is with Phoenix, unnecessary feelings!!!!!!!!!! Just. Top Tier.

Rodney McKay!! Unfortunately!!! He pings my thing for horrible little gremlin men. I love him. He's awful but he gets better. He's prickly because he's scared people will hate him. He talks with his hands. He's the poster child for anxiety. He tries SO HARD and takes on so much all the time. I love him!!!!!

[massharp1971]

This was planned for Romancing McShep, but it accidently became also OT4 so I don't reckon it fits either the McShep or the not-McShep criteria. Hope people enjoy it anyway. Thanks @logicgunn for the beta 💜🖤💜 Tagged eplicit but it really isn't that smutty, it's kind of sweet I think?

---

“Okay, Sheppard, your bi-curiosity is deafening me. How about we settle the question for you and move on with our lives, hmmm?”

John’s heart does a little jump of hope, but then stumbles. When Rodney came out to John as bi, he’d asked John, blunt as ever, if guys did it for John sexually, and John had answered an honest no. Rodney had barrelled onward with the conversation, not giving John a chance to explain any more. Because he would have, could have said:

Nobody does it for me sexually, exactly. 

He’s almost sure he could have said it to Rodney, given the chance, even if he’s never said it to anyone else. Not even Nancy, although she knew. When the moment came that her own enthusiasm for sex with John faltered, leaving John with nothing to work with, they’d gone cold so quickly John still shivered to think about it.

He loved Nancy as much the day they parted as the day they wedded. He just didn’t work the way guys were supposed to work. It bugged him, not that he should be different but that the world was so wedded to there being only one story. 

Every now and then John would become… attached, enamoured maybe, with someone. There hadn’t been many. Kyle Fraser had been his best friend when he was thirteen through fifteen, and they’d lived inside each other’s bubbles, constantly touching, close enough to breathe the same air, and then suddenly Kyle was friends with someone else and John had no idea at all what had happened, except he knew his heart was broken. 

There was nobody after that until Nancy. John finally had – or thought he had – some sort of a sexual awakening, because when Nancy wanted John, well, John wanted her back, and it was good – so good. Until it was suddenly gone, and John’s heart was broken again.

His last sexual experience was Mara; not his first one-night stand after Nancy. It makes John feel a little less lost to know if a woman throws herself at him hard enough, John can respond appropriately, and enjoy the outcome. DADT is the only reason he doesn’t do the same with guys. He starts to live up to his undeserved “Kirk” reputation. The real comparison there is the unrequited and obvious crush on the Science Officer in blue. 

John’s already anticipating the loss of whatever this magic is between him and Rodney, because he’s never going to be what Rodney wants, and he’s at least half certain Rodney just sees him as some hot-looking bones to jump, a friends-with-benefits, easy thing, and John’s feelings for McKay are not easy.

“Look, you know I’m a bit of a slut,” Rodney says to him, “so it’s simple – we fuck, you decide if you like it, if you do maybe we can fuck some more?”

He’s so damn casual about it, and John knows he’s putting his heart on the line, but he can’t escape the underlying draw of Rodney wanting him. Even if Rodney has everything all wrong – it isn’t bi-curiosity at work between them, it’s a longing of a different kind.

Read more on ao3

[sassycordy]

yea

[lynxfrost13]

Ty for the tag Fox <3

3 ships: Kazz/Doxxa (gw2), Tyrande/Jaina (WoW), Blaze/Glacier (WoF)

First ship: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir (SGA)

Last song: Through the Fire and Flames (Dragonforce)

Last film: Mansfield Park

Currently reading: The Wheel of Time (Robert R Jordan)

Currently craving: somethin chocolatey

Taggin but no pressure ^^

@brightwingedbat @bi-pan-whiteout @kestrel-wylde @ajax-is-sugar-daddy @fourtytwo42 @otiksimr @cinnabuntastic @cinnamon-flame @jaxi-the-dragonborn

9 people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @couriers-mile to do this, thanks!

3 ships: corvo/daud, elster/ariane, decay/fervor

First ship: first ship I actively handled like a ship complete with reading fanfic was Walter sullivan/Henry townshend from silent hill 4

Last song: have you ever - elgrindo

Last film: The Girl With All The Gifts

Currently reading: So Sang the Riverman by Alexander Florian Dietrich

Currently craving: a fucking snow day that doesn't melt in 5 minutes

I'll tag @lynxfrost13 @kornyo @kissingagrumpygiant @shardain @phraven @ispybluesky @antisocialxconstruct @faustsnemesis @manasurge @just-eyris-things