#bf hardline

[juanjoaiaf]

Battlefield 3 [Xbox 360]. Cierran sus servidores este año :(.

[heavenbarnes]

okay hear me out— softness and gentle topics aside, how would older bf!simon go about discussing his mom & Tommy? would it ever occur? Would it be a vulnerable and gentle discussion with sins laid on the table or would it be like pulling teeth— panic attack arises and the words are spewing.

at first I’d have headcanoned it that maybe we innocently question the clinginess but I’m not so sure anymore; feels like that would just be second nature for the two.

i’ve never ventured into this topic because it’s literally so devastating that i almost considered writing it out of canon for him- but it’s time 🫶🏼 (massive tw for family loss)

the day older bf!simon tells you about his family, it’s at breakfast.

he’d made the food and you’d made the coffee, both expertly passing each other in your kitchen until you’d settled at the table.

when he told you, you had toast hanging out your mouth.

“pardon?”

“i had a family”

you weren’t really talking about anything in particular, so you made quick mental work of skimming over your conversation until you found where this was coming from.

sunny outside, nice day, should go to the farmers market, get groceries, it’ll be crowded, family day-

i had a family

had.

oh.

your heart had start to speed up in your chest and part of you was scared simon’s military precision hearing would be able to tell.

judging by the look on his face, distant, quiet- he couldn’t hear the thrumming against your sternum.

you were thankful, it meant he kept speaking.

“my mum and my brother, tommy- he had a missus too and a kid”

had.

oh god.

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze drifted out the window and onto the birds that were floating over the fruit tree in the backyard.

you couldn’t say there was much of you to look at, a hardline of your mouth and eyes that were willing themselves not to water.

“they weren’t in a good way- but i helped them get better”

the corners of your lips quirked reflexively but it fell away just as quickly, unable to escape the voice in the back of your head that kept saying the same thing.

had.

why is every thing in the past tense?

probably for the same reason this is the first time you’re hearing this story. when is the right time to get to this part?

the moment he cuts the rope, lets you down from where he’s had you hanging- you wish you could react in any other way.

instead, your mouth hangs open while your hand does its best to cover it.

the toast goes cold, so does the coffee.

the tears break through of their own accord.

and he still won’t look at you.

“oh, simon”

your mind races in a way you’ve never felt before, thoughts you’d never had before rising to the surface.

first, you want to hurt someone, anyone- whoever you can blame for doing this to simon.

(you quickly realise he’s probably already done that)

second, you want to take him by the shoulders and tell him that this was never his fault.

that there was nothing he did or could’ve done to deserve this.

and you’re sure that there’s layers to his job and things he’s done and seen that’d make him think that cannot be true.

but you don’t care- there is no human alive that could ever deserve what you’ve just been told.

you don’t care.

you love him.

third, you start to make sense of some of simon’s behaviours.

the way he calls your name when you’re at the other end of the house, just to know where you are.

the way you can turn around at any given moment and find him closer than your shadow.

the way he calls you on deployment only to hear you tell him you love him and you’re still home waiting.

the way he cannot exist without a hand on you, without knowing where you are, without knowing you’re still his.

and there you go again, wanting to hurt whoever put him in this position.

grateful to be able to love him how he needs but angry- blind rage in knowing what he went through to get to this point.

it’s why you’re out of your seat and wrapping your arms around his shoulders the minute you hear even a sniff.

you let him ruin your shirt with tears as strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you so close into him you wouldn’t be at all surprised if the particles shifted just enough for you to become one.

as if you weren’t already.

you’d never, never ever, questioned simon’s ever present need to be close. you’d come to accept it, enjoy it, miss it when he was gone.

it was never overbearing, never out of line, always right when you needed it.

reminding you that he was there.

that he loved you.

that he needed you.

just as much as you needed him.

and god, did he need to be needed.

did he need you to pass him the pickle jar (even when you could open it just fine)

did he need you to make him take the rubbish out (when you could do it yourself)

did he need you to call him when the car was making a funny sound (when you knew it was the fan belt)

did you need him to pull you into his lap at the end of a long day and rest his lips against the crown of your head as he rubbed slow circles into your back.

like you were doing for him now.

“simon, i just need you to know- i’m not going anywhere”

you made it to the farmer’s market, eventually. it was crowded, meaning simon’s arm never let your waist.

not that you mind.

not that you ever mind.

[violenceenthusiast]

Ask from trans Dean getting male body headcanon, I'm trans too and I guess it's like that fic debate about how some trans people like more serious fic that are more realistic? And some more, myself included, the fantasy not like real life way such as magic person casts spell or shapeshifter ( oh jeez are all shapeshifters in spn trans?? God I wish that were me)

Like if I woke up with my ideal body and as long as i still looked like me to others (it's magic I'm bending it) it would be dead cool, so I imagine Dean as being like me

Although I would push against your male female argument bc like there is a difference like if you've a female body you can get female organ specific issues like idk ovarian cysts? But I get what you mean the only place male and female labels makes a difference when it comes to medicine really imho

But yeah magic angel bf take my boobs there's only good for holding my phone up in bed

this seemed like the day to finally get to this ask. 

i don’t mean this in a normative way at all, just factually, being trans does not preclude you (or me, or anyone) from holding harmful/cissexist opinions about transness and/or saying harmful things. and rhetorically i think language is powerful and can do a lot of work on how we think about things (just like the reverse is true. it’s a cyclical thing to me). so i’m hardline against “male/female body” terminology, like i said in the last ask i think that rather men (trans and cis alike) then have male bodies and same for women.

but also scientifically the view is flawed, if only for the fact that it doesn’t take into consideration intersex people, let alone all the other reasons. like. even if we were to classify “male bodies” as “people born with penis/external testes/prostate, and without vulva/vagina/uterus/ovaries”, first of all yuck why, and second of all even that is not even a particularly cohesive category medically speaking? and with cis men and cis women, the statistical variation within groups is just as large as the variation between groups? it’s all a bimodal distribution yk!! like. there are tendencies true of given groups but at anything below that macro level is useless, AND for a given thing being said, while it’s technically true of group A, it’s dishonest to pretend like it isn’t true for a large part of group B too! and again there’s always gonna be those in the middle of that distribution- trying to force those ppl to one side or the other of the distribution is lazy first and ill-advised second because in doing so we would miss so much truth about what it means to be human? like literally just missing out on so much data to collapse what is in truth a range of values into two categories, 0 or 1. i truly do not get the need for M/F at all (this is not an invite for randos to try and come find the one hyper-specific situation where they think actually the distinction is needed don’t you know)

also (sigh sharing about myself to get my point across as always but.) on a basic level like. i have a genetic marker that predisposes me to breast and ovarian cancers, i am acutely aware of my body’s medical realities. but anyone who calls my body “female” is getting decked. that is simply not what’s going on here. if i get top surgery, my risk for breast cancer is still gonna be more than that of the average cis man, and my risk level will go down for me but what’s my risk level compared to an average cis woman then? also like i’m on testosterone so what does that do to the categories’ meanings? what category does my mom go in if she’s had an oophorectomy and a hysterectomy? defining such categories based on physical traits is messy and misguided at best, pointless and harmful at worst.

and to bring it back around to spn i’m still like. i think there IS a lot of yummy trans body magic wrapped up in the angel power lore. but i hold that there should be choice in that? like a storyline where cas offers to change dean’s body (change!! not “fix”!!!!! you didn’t say that i’m just generally noting the distinction bc i see that a lot!!), or where dean asks cas for that..... those hold SO much power. but a cas that just changes dean’s body around in big ways without his consent or involvement in the decision.. idk it icks me out generically and feels ooc for cas for me specifically. because cas is so about free will, rebellion, finding divinity in humanity and in choice/self-determination, and cas is genderfucked too so like. idk i really feel like cas sees dean’s soul in hell and it’s Self Recognition Through The Other time. like abstractly i agree that it’s enticing to think about waking up the way you want to be like magic. it’d be nice to skip on the rough realities of what it would take to get there, if possible at all. but actually thinking about that literally happening?? and not knowing it was gonna happen?? i think it’d be fucked up. 

[stillness-in-green]

Ahistorical, Absurd, and Unsustainable (Thanks + Sources and Further Reading)

This post concludes the essay-as-written. I'm going to try to get a full version up on AO3 within the next few days, which I will link here (ETA: here) and on my tumblr generally. It will have properly hotlinked footnotes and a table of contents. It will also probably be all in one chapter, as it was intended to be read, with the exception of the resources below.

Thanks to @codenamesazanka, who provided me a lot of useful links to resources on Japanese law when I was still just spitting overheated hypotheses into the void. Thanks also to @robotlesbianjavert, @aysall and my tumblr-less BF for their game beta-reads, their catches of some grammar and spelling mistakes that would have ranged from annoying to mortifying, and for the checks on my thought process and organizational flow. Thanks to everyone in my chat group for putting up with me when I had a mini "oh god what am I doing I'm not a lawyer" meltdown over my first draft Logistics conclusions.

And thanks to all of the people on tumblr who read and reblogged this! If any of you want some further reading on the topics I discussed, or if you just want to double-check my information, see below to conclude:

Ahistorical, Absurd, and Unsustainable: An Examination of the Mass Arrest of the Paranormal Liberation Front

Introduction and Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four and Conclusion

Sources and Further Reading

I tended to start with Wikipedia and then either follow their source links or Google for further information when I needed more detail or to clear up the occasional bit of conflicting information. Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking quite far enough in advance to save a link to every single source I used, but I’ve done my best to either dig them back up in retrospect or find another source relaying similar information.

All direct quotes, excerpted panels and canonical information comes from Viz's official translation of My Hero Academia or My Hero Academia: Vigilantes.

///

Overviews on the pre-war Japanese incidents I cited for comparative purposes:

The March 15 Incident

The February 26 Incident

The Rice Riots. Further information sourced from the rather more detailed Japanese page.

The formation and immediate ban of the Farmer-Labor Party.

///

General reading on uprisings, riots, coups, and protests that otherwise got out of hand.

The Era of Popular Violence

Rebellions in Japan

Attempted Coups in Japan

///

On Aum Shinrikyo and the sarin gas attacks:

Wikipedia has some basics, but further information was sourced from a Congress report on Aum some seven months after the attack and this Aum retrospective written last year.

The Wikipedia page on Underground.

For another story wrestling with these topics, consider giving the anime Mawaru Penguindrum a whirl. Without explicitly telling you that's what it's doing, it deals with the difficulties—stigma leading to ostracization, depression and radicalization—faced by the children of a fictionalized Aum Shinrikyo expy some years following an equally obvious fictionalized expy of the sarin gas attacks, as well as critically depicting the state of society that may have lead members of Japan’s “Lost Generation” to cults like Aum to begin with. There’s a good but spoilerific breakdown on that aspect of the show here.

///

International referents:

India’s Million Man March, and a BBC report on the arrests/detainments.

An article about a lawsuit brought by the ACLU over the Baltimore arrests, and the cite on 24-hour releases.

This article is my source of the 1,200 number on the mass trials in Egypt. This one is a more in-depth look at the problems with the trials, while this one shows that the mass trial problems are still ongoing.

///

Japan’s laws:

The Peace Preservation Laws

English translations of the Penal Code and the Subversive Activities Prevention Act.

An overview of the state of criminal conspiracy law in Japan circa 2007, looking at the first incarnation of what would eventually become the 2017 law.

A scathing opinion piece on said 2017 law.

A citation on the Subversive Activities Prevention Act being invoked against Aum, and only Aum. Dated year-of, but there have been no invocations of it since, despite Japan seeing a marked upswing in anti-new religious movement sentiment after the sarin gas attacks.

///

Japan’s penal system:

A broad overview on Wikipedia.

Two sources for numbers, one less recent, but with more context and detail here; another with the most recent numbers available here.

Cite for 2018 number of arrests.

///

The trial process and criminal justice:

An exhaustive report on the structures, status, and proceedings of criminal justice in Japan at every stage from the initial arrest to post-release services circa 2019.

The Wikipedia article on pre-trial detention cells in Japan, which has a decent overview of why they’re controversial. See also the entry for the role of confessions in the indictment process.

Cite for the number of deaths caused by law enforcement in Japan in 2018.

An overview on lay judges, and an article on the Japanese public’s broad discomfort with the system.

A good article on the high conviction rate and what activists call “hostage justice.”

Another good article on the conviction rate, this one touching on several of the aspects I mention about lenient sentences and coerced confessions, as well as some that I didn't, like corrupt or compromised judges.

A broad look at attorneys in Japan and, buried in an article on the lay judge system because I could not for the life of me find the interview I read that talked about it, a citation for the unpopularity of defense attorneys. (Footnote 365)

A Wikipedia page for Yasuda Yoshihiro, who I quipped about in a footnote and refrained from explaining further. Long story short, he’s maybe the example of an unpopular defense attorney in Japan, an anti-death penalty activist who has served as defense in a number of high-profile cases, absolutely the most notable of which was that of Asahara Shoukou, the leader of Aum Shinrikyo.

An interview with the CEO of Cross Career, an employment agency founded by an ex-convict and dedicated to helping others like him find work. Talks some about the stigma around felons and how it impacts recidivism in Japan.

///

On children in Japan:

An exhaustive rundown on the state of alternative childcare in Japan.

An article about the way children’s independence is founded on a strong faith in their community, and a post that mentions the TV program Hajimete no Otsukai (My First Errand).

///

On AEDs:

An article from relatively early on—back in 2007—in the rollout. From the following year, there’s this rather drier but informative article from a medical journal discussing the effectiveness of the movement thus far and steps that could be taken to make the public more confident in using the devices.

///

Further relevant My Hero Academia meta:

Tumblr user @codenamesazanka has posted some excerpts and discussion about Murakami’s Underground and how the issues Murakami raises can also be seen in My Hero Academia.

My take on the MLA and quirk supremacy, part of a much longer piece covering my general lore on the MLA, its members, and its history. For some more specific discussion on why I think the series itself supports the view that the MLA at large was not as hardline quirk supremacist as Geten claims, see Geten’s section “On Quirk Supremacy (and Re-Destro, still)” in this post about my headcanons for the canonical MLA members.

[mikesoldblog]

NeonNoir Pt.4

Aesthetic: NeonNoir Pt.1

[speeding-snail]

You know,I've always wanted to see fan art of my three favorite characters from games race each other. Gauss, sonic, and octane(warframe, sonic, apex legends) with other characters the VA did cheering them on. So you would have mirage, volt(no VA for the frames), and a cop or criminal from bf hardline cheering em on. I dunno, just thought something like that would be pretty cool.

[transwarcriminal]

Games downloaded on my XBox and my opinions

Apex- why is there a thot who’s parents we watched die

BF Hardline- “cops and robbers”- BMO

BFV- “war, war never changes, Lmao get fucked bitch”

DOOM- where it all began

Oblivion- fallout 3 with swords, bows and cursed character designs

Fallout 3- oblivion with gun

Fallout New Vegas- FUCK YOU BETHESDA WE WERE ONE POINT OFF

Farcry New Dawn- Fallout with more cutscenes and religion

Minecraft- all I can think of is “the block parade” by Jake G.

The Outer Worlds- FUCK YOU BETHESDA WE MADE FALLOUT IN SPACE AND PEOPLE LIKE IT

Portal- half life with more puzzles

Portal 2- Portal with more puzzles and thinking about how I’d let GLaDoS top me if she were THAT humanoid

Skyrim- why are the lizards so fucking H O T

Terraria- Minecraft but 2D

Rainbow Six Siege- I’m no longer allowed to make jokes about Ashe, don’t ask

[atreides52]

BF HardLine Hot Wire Car  Iji OST - Three Cans Later - Sector 2

[furobox]

Was ist mit Battlefield passiert?

Battlefield war lange Zeit einer der beliebtesten Ego-Shooter für PC und Konsolen, aber während andere Spielreihen sich trotz massiver Verschlechterungen, wie beispielsweise Call of Duty, immer halten konnten, ist das öffentliche Interesse vieler Spieler an Battlefield, trotz des hohen inhaltlichen Anspruchs, allmählich in der Versenkung verschwunden. Eine neue BF-Ankündigung haut lange niemanden mehr vom Hocker und wenn man in der Community, sei es auf YouTube, Facebook oder Twitch, fragt, was die Leute von BF halten, dann kommt von den meisten irgendetwas wie “Ne, damit kann ich gar nix anfangen”. Ich persönlich finde das sehr schade, denn nach der enttäuschenden Entwicklung von Call of Duty (Vom Spaßigen Multiplayer-Shooter zum mittelmäßigen, technisch schwachen BR-Game) wäre BF die einzige alternative. Ich denke mal Battlefield leidet vor allem an seinem Publisher EA. 

Die alten BF Teile, angefangen mit Battlefield 1942 (2002) waren grandios und boten zum ersten Mal große, immersive Multiplayer-Schlachten, noch bevor irgendjemand etwas von Call of Duty gehört hat. Daraufhin wurde dieses Konzept von immer mehr Spielen aufgegriffen.

Mit BF3 (2011) hat die Reihe dann ihren absoluten Höhepunkt erreicht. BF4 (2013) lief aufgrund des verkackten Releases mit vielen Bugs nicht ganz so gut, wurde aber dennoch von vielen Leuten gespielt.

Nach Hardline (2016), was praktisch so schlecht war, dass die meisten BF-Fans die Existenz dieses Teils glatt vergessen haben, kam mit BF1 (2016) das richtige Setting, zur richtigen Zeit. Der Teil spielte im ersten Weltkrieg und bot nicht nur ein völlig neues Setting, sondern brachte mit ihm auch gleichzeitig ein altes Szenario, nachdem sich Spieler jahrelang gesehnt hatten. Call of Duty ist mit dem Zukunfts-Szenario gerade frisch gegen die Wand gefahren und in der Shooter-Community wurde der Wunsch nach Spielen im Weltkriegs-Setting immer lauter. Gameplaytechnisch war BF1 ebenfalls sehr gelungen, weil es sich anders spielte, als die meisten Shooter. Das Gunplay, welches erstmals in Star Wars: Battlefront auftauchte, hat zwar nicht jedem gefallen, aber es hat Abwechslung in das Genre gebracht.

Und dann kam Battlefield V (2019). Im Kern war BFV ein grandioses Spiel, das sowohl grafisch als auch gameplay-technisch sehr viel zu bieten hatte und den Teamplay wieder in den Fokus rückte. Der Titel kam mit vielen innovativen Neuerungen, verzichtete auf Mikrotransaktionen oder Premium und DLCs waren Kostenlos für jeden. Er sollte eine Rettungsaktion sein, mit der sich EA die Spieler zurückholen wollte. Leider hat das nicht geklappt. Battlefield V ratterte mit einem völlig überdrehten und im CoD-Style gedrehten Trailer durch eine Realismus/Sexismus-Debatte, büßte nach trotzigen Reaktionen der Entwickler schon vor Release Unmengen Hass und Ablehnung ein und am Ende bekamen die Spieler einen Vollpreis-Titel, für den die Entwickler keine Arbeit investiert hatten. Die Panzer waren viel zu Stark, Die Sichtbarkeit der Gegner wurde im allgemeinen als sehr schlecht bewertet und mit den schlecht gestalteten Maps, die das BF-Prinzip aufbrachen und wieder Infanteriegefechte von Fahrzeug bzw Fernkämpfen trennten. Waffen bekamen Upgrade-Möglichkeiten und das größte Update von allen hat Veränderungen ins Spiel gebracht, bei dem sich selbst der überzeugteste, feministischste BFV-Fan am liebsten an den Baum gehängt hätte. Wenn wir insgesamt auf BFV zurückschauen, dann ist es kein Wunder, dass erst kurz nach Release bereits das Finale Update angekündigt wurde.

Ich wünsche mir für den Nächsten teil ein Battlefield in der Neuzeit. Wo für jeden Spieler auf jeder Map etwas dabei ist. Mit hübscher Grafik und einem Netcode, der für kompetitives Gameplay ausgelegt ist. Ob EA das schaffen wird? Natürlich nicht! 

Der nächste BF wird, so wie wir das zb. schon von Activision kennen, ein hingerotzter Scheißteil, bei dem man Ingame-Käufe, Premium und DLCs einführen wird und dabei die BFV-Misere als Rechtfertigung benutzt. Der Teil wird technisch und Inhaltlich auf Kleinkinder angepasst werden, der Kompetitive Anspruch wird zur Hölle fahren, weil konkurrent Activision genau mit dieser Strategie (die jeden eingefleischten Fan zum Hater gemacht hat), erfolgreich waren. So wird’s laufen. Das sagt mir meine Erfahrung.

[ggsgamer]

Battlefield 5 Now Reduced To 50% Off For Veteran Players

Is EA jumping on their own grenade?

It seems hard to believe, but yes, Battlefield V has already been reduced to 50% of its launch price for veteran players that either own Battlefield 1 or Battlefield Hardline. Highlighted by Reddit user ‘u/Beakerishere’ the offer appeared on the Xbox version of BF1. You can check out the Reddit Post here.

What are your thoughts on this? As a Veteranplayer…

[bfhardlcrack-blog]

bf hardline crack

Vous regardez dans la distance et de voir les avions déchirés par des coups de feu, leurs débris pleuvent sur Londres. Dans la guerre déchirée par la France aux blindés, horribles à l’est des trous lacrymaux dans les murs comme ils roulent à travers les villes en ruine. Au sud, passé la côte italienne brûlant, les hommes chargent sur les dunes de sable du désert d’Arabie, armés jusqu’aux dents avec bf hardline crack les armes les plus puissantes du monde a jamais vu. Voici ce que l’aube de la guerre tous azimuts ressemble, et il est seulement dans Battlefield 1. Battlefield 1 lance dans le monde entier le 21 Octobre, 2016 pour Xbox One, Origin sur PC et PlayStation 4 mais vous serez en mesure d’obtenir vos mains sur beaucoup plus tôt. Plus sur ce sujet dans une minute. Avec Battlefield 1 nous avons décidé de créer une des plus grandes batailles, les plus dynamiques dans l’histoire FPS tout en continuant à puiser dans ce que les fans aiment le plus au sujet de la franchise. L’une des choses qui rend la Première Guerre mondiale comme une époque étonnante est à quel point il était vraiment avancé. Presque tout ce que vous savez sur les conflits du siècle prochain, des batailles massives dans la terre, l’air et de la mer, à l’armement puissant et efficace, est là. Tanks, des avions, des mitrailleuses, artillerie – un grand nombre de technologies que vous avez utilisé dans d’autres jeux Battlefield a été perfectionné au cours de cette période, laissant l’ADN de Battlefield classique briller à travers. Vous serez en mesure de participer à des batailles massives 64 joueurs et l’expérience inattendue Seulement dans les moments de Battlefield dans un contexte où l’ancien monde a été détruit, laissant la place à la nouvelle. Nous nous tournons la destruction de quelques crans trop, alors attendez quelques surprises quand vous frappez le champ de bataille. Si vous êtes désireux d’aller mains avec Battlefield 1 vous ne serez pas avoir à attendre trop longtemps. Au cours de l’EA Play d’événements le 12 Juin à Los Angeles et Londres, nous allons révéler la première vidéo de gameplay et laissez les participants essayer le jeu pour eux-mêmes. Inscrivez-vous et faites votre chemin à ces événements, et vous serez en mesure de jouer le jeu avant à peu près tout le monde. EA Play ne sera pas votre seule occasion de jouer avant la sortie, cependant. Il y aura plus de chances dans les mois qui suivent, y compris une bêta ouverte (que vous pouvez obtenir dans un peu plus tôt si vous vous inscrivez pour Battlefield Insider). membres EA Accès et Origin accès seront en mesure de jouer pour un temps limité avant la date de sortie, aussi. Et si vous pré-commander le Early Enlister Deluxe Edition, vous serez en mesure de commencer à jouer le 18 Octobre, trois jours avant la date de sortie. Excité? Nous aussi. Nous aurons beaucoup plus d’informations dans les prochaines semaines.

[weebfrequency]

When you’re pro at throwing grenades

[marsprophet]

complaining about my trans experience so far (cringe warning)

I don’t even attempt to get into details about my gender identity to others when they ask me to clarify what I am besides like. I’m a guy, I was raised as a girl but I never felt like one so now I’m taking testosterone to make my reflection in the mirror and the sound of my own voice make more sense to me. but like I’m not gonna tell a stranger I’m actually still ID’ing as nonbinary (as I quietly have for 7 yrs) bc I’ve found that hardlining gender makes more sense to more people … which is regressive I recognize but regardless I have this soy tendency to make my transgenderism more palatable to the average curious stranger so I omit most details……..

also I’ve found thru some inquiry theres this weird preconception that younger ignorant but still online people have about trans people (esp when they have no trans friends): we love to cancel others we take any issue with and have generally affronting personalities. so therefor it’s way safer for a well meaning liberal to tread lightly around us. goes both ways in terms of me trying not to affront them while theyre trying not to affront me, therefor creating a sort of deadlock where nobody really learns anything …….

but the main thing for me is that so far I’ve been as polite and patient as possible, both to younger cis people and older cis people (who actually arent too dissimilar in how they approach us), and I can’t help but feel like I might be doing a disservice to the trans community by worrying so much about respectability? it’s an awkward time in my life where I do care a lot about how people perceive me, so when I’m told I’m the first trans person someone has (knowingly) met I feel a lot of pressure to be *cringe* good representation… and that includes trying not to confuse people bc frankly it is EXHAUSTING to explain the intricacies when I already struggle with pinning down my gender identity and desired presentation a majority of the time.

maybe it’s just a disservice to myself… my therapist said she can’t wait for the day when I stop caring about what other people think & neither can I tbh. and yet I KNEW that this would happen as soon as I got to the point where I couldn’t STAND pretending to be a girl all the time and accepted that I had to make a change. 23 years of putting on a show and now I feel like I have to do it again lest I not be a “proper trans person” in the eyes of people who don’t even know me. and the dumbest part of it is that most people literally just don’t care at all that I’m trans but the people that do care, REALLY care (evidently). but maybe I should get out of my own head for a change. or maybe I should flee the south. thank god I’ve got supportive friends and (most of my) family and the best bf bc I’d be lost without them. I guess life has many roads. idk.

[mikesoldblog]

This is basically what happens everytime I play BF: Hardline.

[zodiakdansa]

My bf is vegan and it was cool at first learning to cook new things and finding new places and stuff but recently he's become super dogmatic about it and is a crazy hardline vegan who gets down on me and tries to make me feel bad because I don't care to be vegan. He's making it a problem and I don't like how angry it makes me. But I just figured out what I'm going to do about it....