#between the MULTIPLE harry styles fanfictions that are now movies

[thesokovianaccords]

unpopular opinion but the proliferation of wattpad fanfics-turned-movies has led me to the realization that we need to re-stigmatize fanfiction. it’s too mainstream now sorry we gotta rein it in before it’s too late.

[thetypedwriter]

Midnight Sun Book Review

Midnight Sun Book Review by Stephenie Meyer 

Oh my god, you guys. 

Just. Oh. My. God. 

This book took ten years off of my life. 

As a heavy reminder, these book reviews are entirely subjective and my very personal opinion. I don’t need the hoards of Twihards coming after me with pitchforks and pretend fangs from Party City because I didn’t fall head-over-heels with this canon spinoff like my fourteen-year-old self would have. 

With that measly disclaimer out of the way, let’s move onto the actual book review. If you haven’t heard of Midnight Sun or don’t know what it is, then I don’t know what to tell you except that you avoided 600 plus pages of stream of conscious ranting. 

For those of you that would like to be enlightened, Midnight Sun is the retelling of the infamous Twilight book-yes, that Twilight, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen Twilight, complete with vampires, not so-stellar acting, and the more than notorious forest scene of Edward demanding she say… “vampire!” Gasp. 

But no really, like most women in my now mid-20’s, as a teenager, I was obsessed with the Twilight saga and everything it had to offer, especially the dreamy, chivalrous, too good to be true Edward Cullen (fuck Jacob). 

I voraciously devoured the books while I was in middle school, attended the midnight book premier for Breaking Dawn, and stayed up way too late for each and every movie screening that followed, a loyal fan to the end. To give you some perspective, I even joined the Twilight club my freshman year of high school. 

Yes, if you were wondering, I was indeed that cool. 

I was obsessed and in love and outside of Harry Potter, it’s still one of the few book fandoms and series that I was truly enveloped and consumed by. Whether that was due to my age, the experience of the fandom, the cultural phenomena that was following the movies and new releases, or for other reasons, it was an experience I look back on now with simultaneous fondness and slight embarrassment. 

I wasn’t embarrassed by my involvement or my experience in the fandom, like many other people, I made great friends through Twilight (including my best friend, whom I met in college when we mutually bonded over our love of Twilight), read countless fanfiction that, to this day, I still remember and cherish with my heart, and it was one of the series that cemented my love of reading and book culture as a whole for me. 

However, like everyone else, I inevitably grew up, matured, and my reading tastes changed and became more refined. As an avid re-reader of books, I have tried going back to re-read the Twilight saga multiple times... 

...and failed. 

The books had simply lost their magic for me. 

The story seemed dull and nonsensical, Bella had become the epitome of a Mary Sue, the writing was now apparently mediocre, and Breaking Dawn’s lackluster climax angered me to the point of speechlessness (it still does). 

So, I gave up re-reading the series and while I deemed that it was perhaps not as wonderful and life-changing as it had been for 8th grade Melissa, I still appreciated what it had done for me personally and the experiences that I had gained through the books. 

Speaking of 8th grade Melissa, the original Midnight Sun, that being twelve chapters of the original manuscript that had been leaked back in 2008, had been put up on Stephenie Meyer’s website for all to enjoy. 

Like the good, whipped fangirl I was, I devoured all 12 chapters with ease and lamented the loss of never getting more than that snapshot of Edward’s thoughts and musings. 

Now, twelve years later, the full book has been written, published, and released to the delight and downright shock to many age-old Twilight fans that had believed that series to be dead and buried, myself included. 

So, when the book came out this August, I swallowed my trepidation, knowing that my love for the characters was now long gone, but I believed that the sentimentality of 8th grade Melissa’s obsession would long linger, making this a pleasant blast from the past to lift my mood. 

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. 

Now, that I’ve told you my whole life story in an effort to explain why I have the feelings I do and to justify that I’m not just being negative for the sake of being negative, this book did not hold up to any of my expectations. 

One, it was so freaking long. 

Holy shit, was this book long. 

As I have said countless times on this blog, I like big books (and I cannot lie). It’s the best feeling in the world when you get into a story and you realize that you have many days ahead of you of being engulfed within this new world that you’ve fallen head-over-heels for. 

It’s the opposite, sinking feeling of dread when you feel like you’ve been reading the book for weeks and are getting nothing out of it. 

Midnight Sun was a lot like that.

It was too long to be good, especially considering the length was not generally driven by plot, but instead driven by Edward thinking of every fucking thing to the nth degree and driving me crazy in the process. 

Homeboy needs to take a chill pill, he overstresses, overthinks, and overanalyzes everything to the point of irritation as a reader. 

Meyer’s editor really needed to step in and say, “Hey, Stephenie...is all of this really necessary?” and then proceed to cut out at least 300 pages of nonsense. 

But that didn’t happen, probably because first and foremost, the book was already going to sell no matter what changes or edits were made, and this seemed like a book more for Stephenie than anyone else. 

It was very much stream of consciousness like I’ve already said, a style of writing defined as a literary style in which a character's thoughts, feelings, and reactions are depicted in a continuous flow uninterrupted by objective description or conventional dialogue. 

It wasn’t on the level of James Joyce’s Ulysses or other notable works, but damn was it close. 

This writing style I found abhorrently repetitive and exceptionally dull. 

Perhaps my fourteen-year-old self would have felt differently and would have sucked up anything about Edward Cullen eagerly considering he was the fictional love of my life. 

Or perhaps this book would have made me go running and screaming in the opposite direction as Edward is...kind of awful?

One positive thing I can say about this book is that it paints Bella Swan in a very rosy light, which was actually very refreshing. One of the most famous criticisms that Meyer’s has received is Bella’s lack of character, development, and attributes. 

Seeing Bella from Edward’s perspective instead of vice-versa actually showed how kind, thoughtful, and selfless she is, all things that I had never really picked up on before. 

I still find her inexcusably dumb sometimes, but much of time during this book, Bella was actually far favorable to Edward or any other character, a blasphemous statement of irony if I had ever heard one. 

The payoff, however, is Edward’s reveal as not chivalrous, not gentlemanly, and not as wonderful as I remember. He’s arrogant, selfish, obsessive, and honestly? Downright creepy. 

The stalking reaches new levels of not okay, often with him trying to justify his less than criminal activities with the notion of her “safety” as the priority, which I found complete bullshit. 

I found Edward domineering, cold, aggravating, and lackluster, statements which would literally have made my old self sob, which I honestly did when Edward left in New Moon. 

I used to be an avid Jacob hater and lover of Edward to the extreme back in the day. Now, I would weep for joy if he left, root for Jacob all the way, and hope that the horrible name of Renesmee never needed to come to fruition in the first place. 

Oh, how the turns have tabled. 

Other than the atrocious length, my other large criticism came in the form of well...the book was naturally boring in my opinion. Meyer tries to create tension and moments of suspense, but...we already know what happens. 

We know the next few years actually. We know they get married, have a baby, and Bella gets turned into a vampire. So all moments of tension and suspense are unceremoniously tossed out the window. 

You might say, typedwriter, that’s unfair! We didn’t read this for the tension and suspenseful plot that we already know! We read this to get new information and insight into the Cullens and Edward especially. What do the Cullens do at home? How do they interact? What does this juicy insider insight look like?

Well, I still don’t know because we hardly saw any of it. 

I was the most curious about the Cullens as a family unit and more information into how they functioned, interacted, and cohabited. I even wrote a fanfiction back in the day about what freaking Esme did home alone because I was so intrigued by the idea, but nope! 

Edward was always stalking Bella 24/7 so almost no new information was gleaned about the Cullens, sucks for you. 

There would be little nuggets here and there, little bouts of cool information (Apparently Esme just stays home all day every day doing….nothing?), but not nearly enough to justify a 600+ page book of a recycled plot that we were already familiar with. 

I needed more from this book, craved all the little moments in between, and it was a letdown to the most extreme proportions. 

Recommendation: I didn’t really enjoy this read despite my past involvement with the series, my lingering fondness for the movies on a cold, rainy day, and the still sporadic delves into Twilight fanfiction that maintains its reputation of quality and characters. 

Twilight will always have a special place in my heart for what it did for me and the people it brought into my life, but I wish I had remembered Midnight Sun as the 12 chapters I read on Stephenie Meyer’s website when I was fourteen and infatuated instead of 26 and uninterested and unforgiving. 

Score: 4/10

[1dcraftawards]

October Author of the Month...

Drumroll please... our author of the month for October ended in a tie between three wonderfully talented authors!

@bopbopstyles @oh-honey-styles @stylishmuser

Congratulations to all three of these absolutely amazing girls! Check out our interviews with each of them below!

Author of the Month interview with @bopbopstyles !

Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this? The only fanfiction I’ve ever written has been 1D! I wrote Liam back in the day (oof) but now I’m a Harry girl - but I’ve been considering doing Niall at some point!

How old were you when you started writing fanfiction? I think I wrote some bits of fics back when I was probably 13 or so, but I wouldn’t really say I *wrote* fanfic at that time. I only started writing fanfic in January of this year, but started doing it a lot this summer.

What’s been your favorite fic that you’ve written to work on so far?100000% Rose Colored Glasses. I write historical fiction outside of my fanfic writing life, so RCG  was the combination of all the things I love: history, Peaky Blinders, boxer!Harry, and as my agent calls them “cinnamon roll boys”.  

Is there a fic that you really wanted to write, but you just never did? I have this idea for a time travel fic but haven’t decided if I want to take that idea and use it for a non-fanfic story or not yet, so I haven’t written it. It would definitely be a similar vein to RCG if I did write it though!

What’s your favorite trope to write? FRATBOY HARRY HOLDS MY HEART! (If you couldn’t tell by my multiple fratboy/college!harry fics lol) Also, friends to lovers. The pining. The character development. Ugh. I LOVE.

What’s your ideal space to write in? I can kind of write anywhere, but lately I’ve been writing the best in the evening on either my couch or at my desk! Just someplace that’s comfy and I can completely focus is the main thing. I’m also a bit coffee shop writer (but not when doing smut!!!!!!!)

What inspires you to write? Everything. Music is probably the biggest one, second would be television and movies. I love taking something creative someone else has done and twisting and reinventing it. But also things I see, people I know, my own experiences, art -- everything. (Bad For Me is literally based on my best friend, for example.)

Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to? ALWAYS. I’m genuinely always listening to music, and it influences my mood and my writing, so it’ll change depending on the project and the scene. I’ve had playlists for some of my work, but a lot of times it’ll be some moody or lovey playlists I have, other times I’ll just listen to an album I’m loving on repeat. Completely depends! For Elevated Surfaces, for example, it was mostly written to frat party music because that’s where the story was set. You can check out my Spotify here if you want to see some of what I listen to!

Do you have any plans for any future fic ideas you’d like to pursue?I’ve been dying to write my Jane Austen series but haven’t gotten the time yet! It’ll take a while, so I’ve been putting it off, but I reaaalllyyyy want to do it at some point. There’s a couple others, but that’s one I really want to do at some point.

Do you have any advice for other writers in the fandom? Read, read, READ. That’s my advice for writers in general. Read widely (across genres, age groups, etc) and read critically! A lot of what I learned about how to write has come from analyzing books I read. I used to review books, actually, and it has definitely helped form how I write. I think for fan fiction specifically, though, I think a lot of people have a tendency to struggle with feeling pressured to write or rushed or judged for what they write. It’s definitely the result of the way we consume fan fiction, but I also think that it’s helpful to think about why you’re writing. For me personally, I write because it just genuinely brings me immense amounts of joy and I like sharing that with people. Writing for yourself takes a lot of the pressure off, I’ve found. It’s when you start writing for others that it can turn into a more difficult place. So: try to write for yourself first, before others!

How long does it normally take you, idea to posting, to post a fic?This completely depends on the fic! Once I get an idea I can write it pretty quickly, so I can churn out content quickly if I have the time. However, my pieces are long (most are in the 15-30k mark) which usually will take me a few days. Usually I’d say somewhere in the ballpark of like 10-20 hours total per one shot, but completely depends. Multi-chapter definitely take longer!Right now, for example, I haven’t written fanfiction in two weeks because I’m working on other projects. It really is dependent on what else I have going on in my life, because I also work full-time now, and so my posting has definitely declined in the past two months.

Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can? 100% impulsive, but mostly I write in the evenings and on weekends (aka when I’m not working). But no specific schedule -- I think if I schedule it then it takes some of the fun out of it.

What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing? How much FUN it is! I genuinely adore writing fanfiction and have made so many amazing friends through it. I wish I’d started earlier, in some ways.

What do you prefer writing, multi-chaptered fics or one shots? One shots for SURE. I don’t really plan on doing multi-chaptered again for a while, actually. Partly because it’s just more work, but also because it prolongs the wait for people to read it, and part of why I love fanfiction is the immediate gratification you get from it.

What was your favorite scene to write in “The Only Exception”?OOOOOH. I loved the early scenes when they were still getting to know one another. I’d say probably the scene from Harry’s release party and their emotional conversation after (from Ch.3) were really fun to write because they were so vulnerable. Also their fights. LOVED writing their fights. The Dunkirk premiere from Ch.3 and 4? One of my favorites. So probably the entirety of Ch. 3, I guess!

What is one moment from “Rose Colored Glasses” that you never got to write but wanted to? I struggled SO MUCH with their reunion scene. I re-wrote it like twice and played with a couple of different ways it was going to go, before settling on the final result. I had this one concept, though, where Cicely was going to ride her horse into Birmingham and Harry was going to be called to the stables to pick her up, and Cicely was going to just be so happy and excited to see him and Harry would be so overwhelmed he wouldn’t care about what his friends saw and would just be so tender with her.

What scenes/scenarios are most fun for you to write? I adore writing pining. The pining in Good Together is probably my favorite I’ve done -- the photo shoot scene? *collapses* I also love banter, which was one of the reasons Behind the Bar will always hold a special place in my heart.

Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read? Feedback is literally what I thrive on. I’m in constant need of validation, to be honest, so please tell me when you like what I write! I love it! As far as types of feedback, I think that for my fanfiction, I’m not really posting it to get critiqued. Personally, it doesn’t help my writing in any way, because I’m writing for myself more than for others -- their enjoyment is just an additional plus. So I take critiques in kind of an “okay?” sort of way. It just doesn’t really affect me. I think the other thing about critiques (sorry I’m going off on this question lol) is that you don’t have to take them. I have people in my life whose opinions I trust and those are the people I want to critique my writing. The one caveat here is if my writing is offensive in any way. In that case, I want to be told so that I can fix it, learn from it, and make my future writing better. I will also say that I think part of it is that my fanfiction isn’t really the writing I’m the proudest of. I write outside of fanfiction, have an agent, etc. and so that part of my life is definitely what I care more about. For those projects, I desperately seek critiques, but from people whose opinions I trust!

Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction? Writing professionally is the dream for me! My agent and I put my last project on submission but it wasn’t picked up, so I’m working on something new right now. Hopefully that will end up getting published, but we’ll see!

And finally, What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish? I hope that my writing brings people joy and helps them learn something, whether that be about themselves or the world. Books are what helped me learn about the world and have brought me such happiness over the years, so I hope that mine can do the same. 

Author of the Month interview with @oh-honey-styles !

Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this? Just for Harry! He’s that obnoxiously endearing, isn’t he?

How old were you when you started writing fanfiction?Okay okay, I guess I wrote something that resembled fanfiction (non-Harry) when I was fifteen or sixteen. That was all extremely idealistic cringy teenage angst that will live under a rock for eternity. But as far as Harry fanfiction, it was about a year ago when I started ‘Met Your Match’.

What’s been your favorite fic you’ve written to work on so far? My personal favorite is ‘January in Japan’. It was the first time I really dreamt up and developed my OFCs. Between Harry’s healing from heartbreak storyline, as well as Stella’s strong, feisty personality, all mixed together against the backdrop of Japan. The entire vibe was, and still is, so special to me. Plus, Japan!H is something else - peak boyfriend material.

Is there a fic that you really wanted to write, but you just never did?I mean, sure, there are always ideas floating around. But nothing that’s really kept nagging at me.

What’s your favorite trope to write? Fluffy mutual pining between strangers/friends to lovers with a tiny dash of angst.

What’s your ideal space to write in? I don’t really have an ideal space! But I will say, I’ve found that writing tends to really flow during AM hours. I’ve written most of my stories laying in bed, in the dark, between the hours of midnight and 4AM.

What inspires you to write? That bloke Harry Styles is the most endearing menace, so he’s generally my number one inspiration. But I also have a few bad ass women that inspire me more than they’ll ever know. They are my ride-or-die encouragement whose writing and brilliant ideas continuously motivate me to be a better writer.

Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to?This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I don’t! I do have artists/songs that inspire my stories (for example, The Sugarhill Gang for ‘Hazy’ and ‘Rise Up’ by Andra Day for ‘Black & Blue’). But for the most part, I love silence while writing.

Do you have any plans for any future fic ideas you’d like to pursue?At the moment I’m only focused on ‘Collide’. However, it really doesn’t take long for the bug to bite!

Do you have any advice for other writers in the fandom?Well, since I started writing, I’ve been extremely lucky to have amazing advice poured into me by some of the most phenomenal writers in the fandom. So I guess one thing I would pass along is that writing fic is meant to be fun! Continue to write as long as you’re truly, truly loving it. If you’re not having fun writing or enjoying the process, step away and circle back during another season in life. When fic becomes a stress or a burden, it’s time to step away.

What is your writing process like?Honestly? (insert cringe face) It’s a hot mess. I don’t typically do outlines and if I do, they’re always changing. I usually write raw dialogue first and then add in the rest. Sometimes I’ll write a scene out from beginning to end, but I’m generally filling in the gaps. I always keep a doc open on my phone for ideas that pop into my head throughout the day (a conversation or a visual). And then once a scene is completed, I send it off to my betas and they’re the ones who let me know if I’m completely off my rocker or not.

Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can?100% impulsive. I write and post when inspiration hits and when life allows it.

What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing? That once you start, you can’t stop. The writing bug is fucking relentless.

What do you prefer writing, multi-chaptered fics or one shots?All of the above! Multi-chapter fics are nice, having the freedom to really develop your characters as well as elaborate on a concept. But they’re definitely exhausting. And one-shots are such a good way to bust out an idea with no strings attached. I really enjoy writing both.

What has been your favorite scene to write so far in “Collide”?‘The Wedding’ has been my favorite scene in ‘Collide’ so far. I absolutely adored writing the initial nervous attraction between Harry and Franki. It’s really the initial point in the story where they start to realize that there may actually be deeper feelings there on both sides. Plus, who doesn’t love a nervous, flirty Harry?

What is one moment from “Met Your Match” that you never got to write but want to?Oh wow. ‘Met Your Match’ rounded out pretty well, but I guess I had one moment in mind that I never wrote. It was basically a scene where Harry and Kate are in LA on their way to a BBQ at Niall’s house. One way or another it comes out that Niall was Kate’s favorite during the 1D era. The scene would have included loads of teasing and maybe a tinge of jealous Harry.

What inspired you to write “Collide”? How did you come up with the story idea?The whole concept of ‘Collide’ came about when quarantine happened and the world went into lockdown. With there being hardly any new content, we were all basically just reblogging old Harry posts. So each part is inspired by and based off of a past Harry photo/event etc. It's been really fun to tie them all together in one story.

Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read? Every writer loves feedback. Honestly, feedback is the most incredible gift a reader could give a writer. Pressing ‘post’ on your own blood, sweat and tears is one of the most nauseatingly nerve wracking things ever, so to be acknowledged for it (through messages and sharing) is priceless. As far as a critique goes, there’s a fine line. Personally, if there’s something I’m writing that’s offensive or off putting, I absolutely want to know (in a positive, uplifting, non-anon-asshole way). But if my story’s just not their cup of tea, I’d rather they move along to the next fic out there.

Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction?Only a hobby!

And finally, What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish? My purpose in everything I write is to provide a little escape for myself and my readers from this crazy world. Most, if not all, of my stories are meant to be lighthearted and fun - a decent way to step out of yourself for a short moment.

Author of the Month interview with @stylishmuser​ !

Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this?The first ever fanfic I wrote was actually for Gossip Girl. It was horribly written, but I had so much fun. After that I wrote Harry Potter fanfiction for about a year, and then I started getting into 1D, and I don’t imagine I’ll ever write for another fandom.

How old were you when you started writing fanfiction? I think I was a sophomore in high school, so… 16, maybe?

What’s been your favorite fic that you’ve written to work on so far?Oh this is hard to answer, to be honest. It probably sounds cliche but I’ve had a favorite aspect in every one of my fics. I think Timeless will always have a special place in my heart, but I have a favorite thing each one of them.  

Is there a fic that you really wanted to write, but you just never did?Oh hmmm I think there are a lot of tropes I want to try my hand at, but I don’t like writing a story that’s been done a million times before, so it’s kind of finding an aspect or angle to it to make it different.

What’s your favorite trope to write? Idk if it’s a trope but, angst with a happy ending!

What’s your ideal space to write in? Honestly, I can write almost anywhere. It just needs to be quiet. I like to write in my living room or at the kitchen counter at like 2 am when everyone else is asleep.

What inspires you to write? I really just like to tell stories. I think words kind of have this power to them. I also am inspired by Harry and Niall, their lifestyles/music/careers, and telling stories about/for WOC. When I was growing up, I always thought that people like me didn’t really deserve love stories. So I guess it’s kind of destroying that notion that inspires me too!

Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to? I used to, actually. That first fic I ever wrote was fueled by listening to Mind of Mine on repeat haha. Now I like the quiet, but sometimes if I’m stuck I’ll listen to the playlist for whatever story I’m writing.

Do you have any plans for any future fic ideas you’d like to pursue? This made me laugh because I have four in my mind at any given time. You’ll have to wait and see what they are!

What is your writing process like? It goes something like this: vague idea > random scene ideas that bug me into writing it > visuals > outline > actually writing it.

Do you prefer Au or OU? I prefer OU because I like writing about the music aspect of the boys’ lives. AU is fun too, but it’s a lot more work in my opinion. It needs to be a specific idea or trope or I’ll just go with OU.

Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can? I try to keep myself to some sort of schedule, like 1000 words a night or 1 chapter per weekend or I get off track.

What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing? Oh hmm… I think I would go back and tell myself that it’s okay to want to write WOC characters and it doesn’t matter who likes it, or who doesn’t, or how many notes you get. I think it’s really easy for writers — no matter what they write — to feel like they aren’t living up to whatever popularity standards are going on in their fandom, but at the end of the day it’s about what YOU love to write about. That’s what makes a good story, in my opinion, and as a reader you can tell when an author is really putting their heart into something, and that’s kind of inspiring.

What do you prefer writing, multi-chaptered fics or one shots? Multi chapter. I freak out about one shots now because they end up being 15 or 20k words anyway when I write them haha!

What has been your favorite scene to write so far in “Rumor Has It”? I think my favorite scene from that story was either their first kiss, the morning after they get intimate for the first time, or the scene where Ishika comes clean to Harry about how she feels/why she lied. I remember those three scenes came so clearly to me, I was just stabbing away at my keyboard like a cartoon.

You have such complex characters that readers adore, do you have any advice on planning well written and planned characters?  AH that is a very nice thing for you to say! Thank you! I like to think of characters in terms of fatal flaws. It sounds weird but like: What makes your character cry? What keeps them up at night? What makes them happy, or mad? What makes them, them? That’s kind of how I approach it. It’s kind of finding a balance of those characteristics and ‘why are you so frustrating I want to THUMP you’ and ‘I adore them, let’s protect them at all costs.’

What inspired you to write “Kiss and Cry”? How did you come up with the story idea? So I watched this show called “Spinning Out” on Netflix and kind of geeked out about figure skating. I knew nothing about it, which is kind of what got me thinking, this would be cool to learn about and writing for me is the best way to learn. At first I was like, nobody cares about a figure skating fic, and then I was like: good, write it. So here we are!

Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read? I think feedback is a really personal thing, but there’s a really fine line (haha) approaching it. I really think constructive criticism is an important part of feedback — but it’s often done very poorly. There is a big difference between pointing out to an author what they could’ve done better, or even asking why they wrote something the way they did (because I promise you, they did it the way they did for a reason), and simply telling them they are either a bad writer, have poorly written something, or something worse because god knows we’ve all gotten it lmao. For me, I don’t mind either. But if you’re going to criticize my writing, do it one on one, not on anon where you can add a bite to your words. Feedback is kind of a two way conversation, and I think that’s often forgotten about — especially on Tumblr. And it’s very, very obvious when people do want to act unkind, and say unkind things behind the anon veil on purpose. It’s ok not to like the way someone wrote something, but it’s not ok to be vicious about it, ESPECIALLY on anon. That just makes you a coward. I guess my rule of thumb is: Is what you’re typing out going to hurt the person on the other end? Is it worth it to do that? Or can you reword it in a way that starts a conversation instead of bullying someone for putting their work out there, something that’s vulnerable no matter how many times you do it.  But, this is just how I feel. Every writer is different (and valid!)

Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction? I’d love to write professionally one day! We’ll see what happens. I think whether it happens or not, I just love it so much, I’ll do it for a long time because it’s a big part of who I am.

And finally, What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish? My purpose of writing… that’s so philosophical. I guess, I honestly just like to tell stories that are important to me, and remind people that life sucks but it’s also pretty damn good at times too. I hope to keep making myself happy writing whatever it is I’m writing, and challenge myself to try my hand at stuff that’s daunting, and hopefully people like what I’m doing and if not, that’s ok, because I do! And to remember that’s my real purpose for writing, it’s never been a numbers game or keeping score, it’s been about telling stories that I love crafting.

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

*A MUST READ:*

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart never broke up. Indeed, their split was merely a distraction for the press that would guarantee the former Twilight stars privacy. In the interim period, where Pattinson got engaged to FKA Twigs and Stewart dated a series of women, including St. Vincent, the pair were actually living in wedded bliss. Their PR game was so effective that it helped to hide no fewer than two pregnancies for Stewart. Now, the Pattinson-Stewart family are happy together, laughing at the ignorance of the press and public who believe they broke up years ago and moved onto fulfilling and happy relationships with other people.

Of all the weird celebrity conspiracies that pollute the internet, the Robsten fandom may be my favourite one. It has everything: Press conspiracies, outlandish theories that would put Moon landing truthers to shame, the inability to tell reality from fiction, and of course, bad photoshops. Every now and then, when I see Pattinson and Stewart in the headlines, I go and visit the tin-hatters’ sites for that potent combination of entertainment and fear for my life. It’s astounding that they’re still keeping up this façade. 

As time passes, I wonder more and more if they truly believe it or if they’re going full My Immortal with the scam. It’s too outlandish to be real, yet the emotions behind it clearly are.

Sadly, this is nothing new for the world of shippers, nor is it limited to the breeding pair of Twilight. Name a prominent pop culture property and the chances are there are hardcore shippers whose interest goes beyond a fizzy hobby. Some fans truly believe that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are a real couple, which is hysterical because their chemistry levels in the Fifty Shades series are sub-zero. The stars of Outlander face the same shippers. Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are secret lesbian lovers, according to a subset of their fandom. Cate Blanchett will eventually leave her husband and children for Carol co-star Rooney Mara, thus freeing her from an exploitative bearding relationship with Joaquin Phoenix. The Larry fandom have yet to admit defeat, even as both Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson admit the fan delusions over their supposed secret romance hurt their real-life friendship. The Supernatural guys may never shake those conspiracies.

It isn’t all romance related either. Spare a thought for poor Benedict Cumberbatch, whose already overzealous fan-base includes a portion of people who think he was trapped into marriage and fatherhood by his wife, who they paint as the modern-day iteration of Medea. They don’t even think his kids are real. Apparently, one of them is clearly a doll.

I could go on, listing the many other fandoms I’ve come across with these near identical conspiracies of secret relationships, hidden children, public relations bullying, and so on. From Scandal to Orange is the New Black to The Hunger Games, it’s as big a part of fandom as cosplay and dirty fanfiction. A lot of the time, the celebrities being obsessed over don’t even know it’s happening. 

If they call it out, as Robert Pattinson did, or mock it, like Armie Hammer recently did on Instagram after someone DM-d him to claim he should be gay like his character in Call Me By Your Name, then they write that off as simply proving their point. The majority of fans deride and condemn this behaviour, partly because it reflects badly on everyone else but mostly because it’s blatant bullshit that should be treated as such. What is most striking about these myriad conspiracies is how eerily similar they all are in terms of tone and content.

The basic set-up for a tin-hatter shipping conspiracy is thus: The pair are in love, the pair are in a serious relationship, but they have to hide it from the world because of ‘evil PR’. The nature of this shadowy public relations organization is never made clear. It’s mostly rooted in conjecture and a hazy understanding of how the entertainment industry has worked over the decades. 

Historically, publicists and studios have operated with a certain degree of shadiness. In the Golden Era of Hollywood, where studios reigned supreme, a star’s image could be kept on a tight leash and their indiscretions hidden from the public. Fixers like Eddie Mannix (made famous in the Coen Brothers’ movie Hail, Caesar!) could clear up all manner of problems if the occasion called for it. Pregnancies could be hidden, illegal abortions procured, marriages annulled or concealed, and even the occasional murder dealt with (allegedly). We know this stuff happened, and we know that today, publicists do a lot of work to keep their clients happy. That probably doesn’t extend so far as to covering up marriages and multiple pregnancies and fake babies.

The psychologies behind these tin-hatter conspiracies tend to be remarkably similar too. There’s always massive amounts of paranoia at the heart of their delusions. Arrogance is key as well. You need infallible ego to maintain repeatedly debunked fantasies. They talk of their conspiracies as if they’re the most obvious truths in the world, deriding the ‘ignorant masses’ who refuse to see the reality in front of them, which they’ve kindly circled in MS Paint. The mentality is frequently rooted in a strong brand of self-victimization: They tie their theories to social issues like homophobia and claim anyone who opposes their belief that the One Direction guys are in love are clearly bigots. Even when the people in question call out this nonsense, they’re written off as poor closeted prisoners of invincible publicists. The game of tin-hating shippers is designed so that they never lose.

That’s the sad part of this all. They won’t be proven wrong simply because they’ve invested too much of themselves into this fantasy. They run around in circles, desperately claiming everything is against them and only they are smart enough to know the truth. 

If Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan insist they’re just friends, it’s only to throw everyone off the scent. When Tony Goldwyn talks of his love for his wife, it’s just to distract everyone from his romance with Kerry Washington. If Robert Pattinson is smiling in public, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen; if he’s looking a bit down, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen.

When the fantasy does begin to crumble, the tin-hatters get violent in their rhetoric. Taylor Schilling’s rumoured boyfriend briefly deleted his social media after receiving harassment from her fans who think she’s with Laura Prepon (who just had a baby with Ben Foster). Rooney Mara’s so-called fans called her a disgrace for dating a man and claimed she was letting down LGBTQ+ kids everywhere because of it. Robert Pattinson’s then-girlfriend FKA Twigs faced all manner of horrific racist and sexist abuse for simply existing. It can be easy to laugh people like this off, but we’ve also seen what happens to celebrities when their obsessive fans decide to invade their lives. A 19-year-old fan of Lana Del Rey drove cross-country to her house, broke into her garage and tweeted about it. An obsessive fan of Paula Abdul committed suicide outside her house. Rebecca Schaeffer’s stalker shot her on her own doorstep.

Real person shipping (or RPF) doesn’t bother me in theory. If you just treat it like any other fandom hobby - safe, private, clearly fiction - then go for it. There’s a major difference between liking two actors and writing silly fanfiction about them and going to extremes to prove they’re actually married. 

The people who cross that line are a minority, but they’re a loud and insidious minority who shouldn’t be written off as mere ‘crazies’.

This phenomenon is undoubtedly fascinating and reveals a lot about various intersections of celebrity, media, the internet, fandom, and so on. It’s worth keeping an eye on, if only to ensure nobody gets hurt, because it’s not unique to internet culture. This stuff breeds, and that should concern us all.

Now, when do I get my shadowy PR conspiracy cheque?

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

As previously warned, I have a huge number of questions for the fanfic author ask thing. So, here we go: 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 37 and then, if that wasn’t already enough, and there is anything you want to answer that I haven’t already asked, then pick one of your choosing to answer as well! 💕

Holy crap you weren’t kidding! lol this is gonna be so much fun!

4: What made you start writing fanfiction?

My 3rd grade teacher, Mr. Gula, gave me a challenge to write out my own ending to my favorite movie or TV show. As I was never really one to back down from a challenge, I went home and wrote out my own story about the first Transformers movie and another one about what I would do if I had been in HIgh School Musical. Yeah... needless to say, I was the Hermione of my grade.

5: Favorite pairing?

I know I don’t write for them, but my top is probably either Dee Dee and Frankie from the Beach Blanket Bingo, Bikini Beach, and Muscle Beach type movies or Seaweed and Penn from Hairspray. Something about those types of romance are sort of sweet to me. Guess I’m just an old soul. I also adore Cory and Topanga form Boy Meets World, but I’m mostly here for the older romances.

6: Least favorite pairing?

I’ll probably get flack for all of my answer, but I’m a little bit opinionated about this lol. The way Ginny and Harry’s relationship in the films was, was just confusing and so not what I had expected from them. The books gave them so much more than the movies ever did. The books were way better. Another case I don’t like was Bella and Edward/Renesmee and Jacob from Twilight. I think the other relationships in Twilight were better (Jasper and Alice are so sweet!) and Stephanie Meyer just kinda tossed Bella and Edward and Renesmee and Jacob together in the hope it would work and it just didn’t.

12: What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever written?

I can’t believe I’m admitting to this.... I used to write full stories about One Direction. I had a full Niall x OC story I posted on a 1D Imagines group on Facebook that got almost 2,000 likes. It was silly, but, my word, it was almost as long as Broken Record. It spanned over the month of October 2014 and I can’t believe it ot the attention it did. It wasn’t all that good, but I guess it was good enough for people to like it, so that’s alright by me lol

13: Weirdest fic you’ve ever read?

I don’t believe it’s on fanfiction anymore, but I remember the basic info on it. It was Make a Wish by FireBladePrime. It was pretty much a girl made a wish on a shooting star and it made her favorite toys come to life as full size humans. I believe she ended up falling in love with one, but I’m pretty sure it just ended up being something that she came up with in her head when she was in a coma due to a car accident. Definitely a weird one, but it was pretty well written as far as memory serves.

14: Do the people in your life know you write fic? How do they feel about it?

Well, quite a bit of my family knows, actually. It started with just my parents, but my dad was always wanting to show off whatever his baby princess did (I was his only biological child, my older siblings were from my mom’s ex-husband). Dad shared with his siblings, mom shared with her siblings and my grandfather. My nieces and nephews know as well, but I believe that’s it. As far as I know, they are all very supportive and have no problem with it. My neice, Lorali, and nephews, Erek and Drake, have read all of my Teen Beach fics and quote things from them daily just to see if I’ll react, but they mostly just like reading them or having me read to them. They’re very loving and supportive of my writing.

15: Favorite fandom to write for?

I don’t know if I could pick one! I love Teen Beach so much, but I also have a certain affinity for writing small oneshots or “x Reader” style stories for Avengers and Harry Potter which can be found here and here. I do share the Harry Potter page with my sister, but she handles reblogging things to our page. Anyway, those would probably be my top fandoms!

17: What is the harshest criticism you’ve ever gotten on a fic?

Holy crap. Okay, I may or may not have repressed this for a long time, but I have more than one that I can’t decide between. The other one was from a girl in my class who stole my writing notebook and read my writing. Fuck you, Ashley She gave it back to me later that day with marker scribbles all over my writing. She said that I was horrible. The next day, I stole the makeup bag she had brought from her mother’s bathroom and buried it on the playground.

I was a good child that believed in getting even. Nobody found out about that btw.

Anyway, the first real criticism I had on a fic was someone who said, “You have no talent and you shouldn’t be writing. It all sucks and you’ll never go anywhere as an author.” I had actually written this down and, when I felt it no longer mattered to me, I burned it. It took me a couple of years to come to the realization that their opinion didn’t matter to me.

 20: What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic?

Having time to sit down and write, probably. I usually have great ideas, but, in order to write them out and have them come out alright, I would need to sit down and feel it all come together while I write. I need time that I just don’t have most of the time.

21: Your biggest strength?

When I sit down to write, it all just flies out of me. Once i start, I don’t stop until my idea is all out into either m notebook or my computer. I can have a simple idea that somehow spirals into an eight page chunk that I never thought was possible. I like to think of that as my biggest writing strength.

24: What’s your process?

Write out the “backbone plot” (The stuff that has to happen, no matter what)

Decide on characters. Figure out appearance, personality and basic traits. (Sorta like a sim, I guess)

Bounce ideas with whoever will listen/listen to music (Gain ideas and write them in a small notebook)

Wait for inspiration and time to line up accordingly.

Write as much as I can.

Go back into that later on and edit what needs to be there and delete what isn’t necessary.

Publish!

I hope that’s what this means, at least.

25: Of all the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite?

Most definitely Broken Record and Creating a Rift. It was one of my first published stories and I just adore them.

26: Which of your fics is your least favorite?

I don’t even know how to find it anymore, but it was called Life’s a Rollercoaster. It was a Transformers fic that I had written when I was 11. Never finished it bc I lost the login stuff and it, now that I remember it, sucked hard.

27: What’s your most popular fic? Do you think the popularity is warranted, or is there another fic that you think deserves it more?

Any of them really! I love that Broken Record has had almost 10,000 reads, but I don’t believe it. As I go back over it, I wonder how on earth it gained popularity in the first place, but I couldn’t be happier that it did!

29: Which of your fics was the hardest to write?

My book. Probably the Christmas one, tbh. I only feel the pull to write it around the holidays and that kinda sucks lol

30: Favorite fic writers?

You better know you’re number one, girlie! For those who don’t know, Eleanor here is one of my closest internet friends and she’s practically family to me at this point!

As for other authors, I love Ulurnaga’s Primary Mechanisms story (Transformers). I know she hasn’t updated it since 2014, but it was so good that she could’ve left it at multiple parts and it would’ve been fine. I think it has abot 118 chapters to it. I have a few favorites from AutobotGuy710 who does a lot of Transformers stories basing around adoption (helps for my references and also a better understanding of what goes on a bit in adoptions/foster care). On Tumblr, I have a few faves, but not a ton. I like imagine-and-marvel and potterlyimagines fics a lot, but that’s about it at the moment as I haven’t sat down to read fics in a little while.

31: Do you write just for fun, or would you ever consider pursuing writing?

A bit of both, actually. I mostly enjoy writing my fics as a bit of an escape from reality. I enjoy being able to place myself in a world that doesn’t exist and sort of play around a bit. However, I do actually write as a job. I was working for my county newspaper for a while and that spiraled into me writing my first book, Feather Picked. I am currently writing one of the sequels to Feather Picked which takes the focus from my original main character, Melody, and moves it to her best friend, Roxy. I am planning on publishing a total of at least 5 books, the first four being the chronological 4 that take place over the course of a full year, each taking one season. The last one will be a look into the future, hopefully.

My first book can be found here!

33: Fanfiction pet peeves?

Goodness gracious. As someone who loves English classes, when people don’t place paragraphs correctly or spell simple words correctly, it reeeeeeally grinds my nerves. I will still sit through a story if it’s a well plotted story, but, come on people, at least do proper paragraphing!!!

Also, when people spell “definitely” as “defiantly”...... uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh

36: Which charachter(s) would you never write for?

For this one, I don’t really have much to say.

Probably characters from shows like soap operas or shows that never seem to end. If I can’t grasp the character’s backstory or personality after watching it because it never stops changing whenever it benefits the story or what the writers have planned, I refuse to write for them. 

Mary Sue types like Bella Swan who are merely the damsel in distress  and are only there to play out the author’s wish to be put in some type of scenario where everyone fawns over them constantly (can be applied to male characters as well).

37: Which character is your favorite to write for?

Out of already made characters: Butchy, Lela, Cheech, Evie, Ben, Harry Hook, Bucky Barnes, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood.

Out of my OCs: Mick, Malina, Roxy Madden, Candi DiMaggio

Since you said I could pick one if I wanted, I’m going to pick #40.

40: Imagine yourself 10 years in the future; do you think you’ll still be writing fic?

I think I will be, yes. I don’t think my ideas for movies and books will ever stop. Especially knowing what I have planned after Creating A Rift is done. But... that’s a story for another time, lol

[naughty-teddy-innit]

Rehabilitation: Chapter 4 An Ed Sheeran Fanfiction

Title:      Rehab: Chapter 4

Author: @naughty-teddy-innit

Rating:  PG- No smuts for a while, but intense content?

Click here for the Previous Chapter

CHAPTER 4

“You’re shitting me.” Her face was nothing short of incredulous as she stared me down over the messy, food strewn surface that was my kitchen counter. “How is that even possible??”

 I popped a slice of freshly washed strawberry into my mouth and tossed the rest of the juicy slices I’d already cut up into the glass salad bowl in front of me, a yummy complement to the spinach greens and pecans I’d already added to it.

 “I don’t know??” I took a sip of my Sauv and then replaced my goblet on the counter.  “I guess I just don’t Social Media and/or Pop Culture much. I grew up with Credence and Springsteen and Janis and the masters.  I just don’t pay much attention to the current pop stuff. Until I managed to bump into his manager, I had no idea who he even was.”

 “Leesie.” She paused herself mid-sentence and fortified her apparent upcoming rant with a long sip from her own wineglass, and then fixed me with a stare.  “He’s probably the most famous musician on the planet right now. He writes the most beautiful lyrics you can imagine, has a voice like melted butter….and did I mention he’s fucking gorgeous?!! And has the most delicious accent you can even fathom. And he’s supposed to be the sweetest guy EVER. How do you NOT tell me he’s lying in your hospital and that HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE??”

 “Lynds.” I swallowed the laugh that threatened to bubble out and fixed a smile on my best friend. Who was currently aiming a dagger-laden death stare right back at me. “I love you. Very much. But you know I can’t talk about patients and medical stuff at work.  If I screw with confidentiality stuff, I could get FIRED. I like my job, remember??”

 “I’m not talking about his medical records! Everyone knows he was in this awful crash and that they have him locked away where the press and all that can’t get to him.  But like…. you’ve had conversations with him! I mean- he’s gonna be okay right?”

 “Happenstance, honestly.  I never went looking for him. And I wouldn’t say it was much of a conversation. Actually…”  I grabbed the wooden salad tossers and the dressing and began to toss the salad. “A few days ago, one of the healthcare aides got caught trying to sneak pictures of him on her iPhone while she was supposed to be passing out meals.  Security had to call the police because she flipped her shit when the nurse manager caught and confronted her.  Hauled her out yelling and screaming.  Thankfully Stuart figured it out before she managed to cause any real damage or freak him out, but it was awful.  THOSE kinds of people are the ones looking for him. I’m just doing my job. I never wanna be like that.”  I inwardly shuddered at the thought. So intrusive. I caught her eye and grinned. “I guess I can say he’s going to be okay. But I SWEAR. I really don’t know much else.”

 I looked up and she was swiping and searching for something on her phone, her lip caught between her teeth.  She suddenly grinned and slid her phone across the counter to me. I could see it was open to a video app, and I could see Ed’s name across the bottom.

 “Watch that.”

 I totally was not going to deny that I was curious.  I shook my head, laughing, and plopped myself down on the stool at the end of the peninsula-style counter.  “And what is it exactly I’m watching?”

“I’m starting you off easy.  This was the biggest song off his last album.  You’ll see.”  She bit the end off of one of the strawberries that hadn’t made it into the bowl and continued. “That pretty boy is ALL about the love songs.”

 I tapped the screen and grabbed the half empty bottle of wine, refilling my glass while the video loaded on the screen.  I flipped her phone around, allowing the images to fill the whole screen, and raised an eyebrow at the figure of the dancer whirling across the screen.  Whoever she was, she had a slammin’ body.

 His voice WAS really pretty, she definitely hadn’t made that up.  It wasn’t booming or theatrical, but softer. More melodic and sweet.  And he certainly pulled off the vest and crisp white shirt with the rolled-up sleeves thing REAL well; I was also more than curious about all the colourful tattoos that adorned his arms. He definitely was not an ugly dude that was for sure. But. I was feeling like I was supposed to be blown away. Why did I feel like my next opinion was going to be a REAL Unpopular One?

 “Well…” I took a deep breath and bit my lip at her eager expression. “I mean, he’s definitely not awful to look at. I’ll give you that.  And his voice is pretty! But it’s…I mean, it’s kinda just a typical pop gushy love song, right?  And the pretty pop star boy dancing with the pretty girl?? Come on…”  I stifled a laugh at the way her mouth dropped open in what was obviously affront and offense. My girl, she was nothing if not dramatic.

 “Annaliese. You are damaged, I swear. Where is your sense of romance??”  She was gesturing wildly with her freshly filled wine glass, the cold white wine an inch from sloshing all over our salad, and it took everything I had to not crack up completely.  I just shook my head.

 “It’s there.”  My voice was soft as I watched the video fade out on the screen. “Guess it just hasn’t come out in while.”

---------------

The next afternoon found me back on familiar ground, ready to get my volunteer on.  The schedule had me on the 4C IP unit, also known as the inpatient/recovery unit, and it was one of the sections of the hospital where I’d spent plenty of volunteer hours.  I was feeling particularly cheerful and rested considering the copious amounts of wine that I’d accidentally (or not so accidentally) consumed the night before, and I swiped my way through the unit’s security doors with a smile on my face.  I spent a good chunk of the afternoon with Callie, a nine-year-old girl recovering from a kidney transplant, knee-deep in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  She’d read the book multiple times and by the time we finished the movie, she’d fully educated me on dragons, wands and Hogwarts.  She was a feisty, tiny little thing, and was as desperate to get home and get on with being a kid as any child I’d spent time with over the years, and I definitely finished up my time with her uplifted, and with a grin on my face.  I promised French fries and a milkshake on my next visit, as long as the doctor signed off on them, and slipped out as her mom was coming back from her lunch.

 I stepped up to the massive desk at the nurses’ station, intending to find out where they needed me next, when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

 “Really doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, mate. I really just want to sleep. Can I just get back to my room now, please?”

The soft accented voice caught my ear right away, I remembered it well. But unlike the last time….it was flat. Devoid of any warmth.  

 It was Ed.

 I had no idea where it came from, or what I was even thinking, but I found myself turning towards him and before I could help myself, my mouth was open and words were coming out.

 “Ed…Hey.” I tipped my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay? Anything I can do?”

 He was carefully positioned in a wheelchair, his casted leg propped up and his injured hand, implanted pins and cast still intact, resting on his leg.  He had a nasal cannula still in place, but much of the swelling and bruising that had taken over his face had gone down.  I could see he was still moving very stiffly, carefully, as he slowly turned his head toward my voice. The orderly who’d parked him at the nurses’ station shot me a quick, polite smile and turned to head off to his next task.

 A brief, rather emotionless smile flickered across his face, and then he tipped his head back, resting it against the back of the chair.

 ��S’kind of you, Annaliese.” He took a slow breath. “Tired of being poked and prodded and this test and that scan. Really jus’ want to get back to my room.”

 “Well, I can certainly get you that far.” I raised an eyebrow at the nurse behind the desk. She nodded at me, and gestured to the door at the end of the hall. “I’ll send Malik to help actually get him situated in a minute, he’s just finishing up with inventory in the med lockup.  Thank you, Leesie.”  She raised an eyebrow at Ed, and then looked back at me before looking back at the sheaf of paperwork in front of her. “Perhaps you can work your magic and get this stubborn young man to eat.”

 I just raised an eyebrow and nodded, deciding that for now my inside voice would probably be a better choice.  Why in the world wasn’t he eating?

 “Alright…Let’s get you back to your room.”  I tried another gentle smile as I released the brake on his chair, but he just nodded, staring off down the hall.  We found his room, and I got his chair situated by the bed while we waited for the nurse to come help him into it.  I debated with myself for all of 3 seconds before lightly dropping myself into the chair beside him.

 I took a deep breath and found myself cocking my head in an attempt to catch his eye. “Alright.  So. What’s this business about you not eating?”

 The only response I got was a huffed breath and tight-lipped expression. But I wasn’t giving up.  Apparently, I was no longer nervous about overstepping? I tucked a stray lock of hair back behind my ear where it belonged, and leaned forward, intent on getting him to talk to me.

 “I’m a lot of things, definitely not a doctor, but… Even I know food is kinda important when you’re trying to heal. Gotta fuel your body, right?”

 “Why.” His voice was low and his eyes were closed. “Does everyone in this bloody place seem to be obsessed with feeding me? I’m not fuckin’ hungry.”

“Well….” I was bit taken aback, to be honest. Admittedly, my impression of him was limited to the night he’d woken up and remembered me from the ICU, but he’d seemed like a genuinely kind, nice guy. I could only imagine he must be struggling with all of this, so I figured the snippiness was only fair, and let it slide. I was trying to think of the right thing to say when he beat me to the punch.

 “Nah. I’d like very much if everyone, EVERYONE, could please remove themselves from jumping up my arse, and just leave me alone. Stuart, my dad, Mum, Matt, everyone. Just….”  He was silently shaking his head, and his uninjured hand was clenched in a fist.  “It’s NOT going to be fine, and stuffing my bloody face isn’t….it doesn’t…Jesus.” His voice broke off and I took the opportunity to change tactics.

 “Okay then.” He looked up at me, the straightforward tone in my voice probably taking him by surprise. I pushed on. “Fuck the food. Let’s just…leave that. The rest of it though? Ed… I’d imagine these people, who clearly care about you and love you so much, just want you get strong so you can get better and get the hell out of here. Right? You must want to get back to your life and never see this place again?”

 The saddest smile I think I’ve ever seen ghosted across his face, and he looked down. “Mikey doesn’t get to go back, does he?”

 Oh god…his driver. I’d left his room when I’d last seen him, before that conversation took place.  I couldn’t imagine how that must have broken his heart. My heart ached at sadness in his eyes.

 “Oh Ed…” It came out as a whisper. He looked up at me, the pain in his eyes raw.  They were such a beautiful blue, but… there was no light in them. Like windows with the blinds pulled tightly shut.  “I am so, so sorry. I can’t even ima-“

 “No, no you can’t. No one can.”  He cut me off, his accented voice once again flat. “They can’t imagine because it wasn’t their fuckin’ fault. It was mine.  He can’t go back to his wife and his children and his grandchildren, because I’m a selfish prick. He’s dead because’a me. All there is, and I don’t really care about goin’ back anywhere but my bed. Please.”

 My heart shattered right then and there. How could he possibly think such an awful accident could be his fault? Nobody, NOBODY should have that on their conscience. I didn't stop to think; I lifted myself up from my chair and knelt by his, and laid a hand on his good one. I squeezed gently and waited for him to look up at me before I spoke, and then speak I did.

 “I was there, Ed. The night this all happened? I was working in the ER when everyone was brought in. I saw the paramedics bring in the truck driver. The guy that fell ASLEEP at the wheel, the one that hit you. I could hear him crying, wailing actually, that he didn't mean to. That he was exhausted and never meant to hurt anyone, that it was an accident. But regardless of all of that, he hit you. HE did this. Not you. You could not have known something like this would happen.” I took a breath and bit my lip, in an attempt to gather my thoughts, and pressed on. “Mikey shouldn't have died, Ed, but nothing you did made that happen. I promise you that.”

 I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes, and I so badly wanted to make it better. But I didn't know how.

 “... She's right, you know.”

 The soft, gentle voice that came from behind my right shoulder startled the hell out of me and I quite nearly fell backwards. I pulled myself together and awkwardly stood to see who was agreeing with me, and Imogen, Ed's tiny, lovely mother was standing just inside the door, nothing but love on her face as she looked her boy in the eyes. I opened my mouth, the beginnings of an apology for… What I wasn't sure, on the tip of my tongue. She shook her head and gently patted my shoulder before I could get anything out, and then lightly settled herself into my now empty chair. How long had she been standing there? How long had she been listening?

 “Do you know…? “  She paused and I suddenly realized, as she glanced in my direction, that she was addressing me. “When they came to talk to us, the police, about the accident, when they told us what happened. Do you know what my boy said when they told us about the man that fell asleep?”

I shook my head, watching as she smoothed an errant curl from his forehead and lightly brushed her fingertips along his stitched up hairline.

“He wasn't even angry. He can't have meant to, he said. Isn't it enough he has to live with what he did? What about his children?” She shook her head and Ed spoke up before she could say another word.

 “They said he has 4 children at home. He'd been driving those massive lorries for years, to put them through school. Who can bloody blame him for being tired?” His voice was quiet, not really directed at either of us. “He never meant to smash us up. He's gotta live with the guilt. And so do I.”

 “Ebs.” Ebs? Her voice was soft, but determined, and his eyes met hers in a heartbeat. The expression on his face…this boy loved his mama, that much was clear.  “What Annaliese said is exactly right. You mustn’t take this on your shoulders. There's no guilt for you to live with. Michael… He’s driven you for YEARS. He knew the job, he knew you were a night owl; you always have been. He loved you like you were one of his own, and looked out for you the same way. He wouldn't have blamed you for this. Not for one moment.”

 Ed was already shaking his head. “Nah. I made him drive, overnight, in the freezing rain. Gig wasn't even for three more days, and he'd been sick with a cold for a week. We weren't supposed to leave that night. I wanted to get there early so I could write with the lads. We were on the road because of me. Simple. My fault. I'm here, he's not. All there is.” His voice was sharp, dripping with…disgust? Anger? At himself, I didn’t know, but it was killing me. And I was not having it.

 “And if you'd left the next morning, maybe a motorcycle would have cut you off or a tire might have blown.” It was my turn to shake my head. “Ed, I'm calling it. That's crap.”

 Imogen raised an eyebrow in my direction, a slight smile dimpling her cheek, and nodded.

 A different voice cut through the room before anyone could say a word, and I turned to see Malik, a big hulking quarterback of a man, and one of the best nurses on the unit, popping his head in the door.

 “My man! I hear we need to get you back in your bed. You down?”

 “Please.” He truly sounded exhausted and I knew it was time to let him rest.

 “Leesie - they bringin’ up the supper trays if you wanna give em’ a hand?” He shot me a grin and moved to the side of the bed to get it adjusted for Ed's casts and oxygen and monitors.”Gonna get this boy up in his bed and check his oxygen and pressure and all that nonsense.”

 “Think I can handle that.” I shot a raised eyebrow at Ed. “Don't even tell me gourmet Hospital Spaghetti doesn't sound delicious right now.”

 He just shook his head and sighed. “Not In-N-Out, is it.”

 Imogen unfolded herself from the chair, a tired smile on her face. “Do you work here, too, Annaliese?”

 “Oh, no!” I quickly explained my volunteer hours versus working in the ER and ICU, and I let out a quiet laugh and smile, explaining that I hope they didn’t think I was intruding or...well. Stalking her son, for lack of better way of putting it.

 “No, no, not at all. It…. “   She paused a moment, walking with me to the door while Malik assisted Ed back into his bed, and lowered her voice a notch. “It’s very reassuring and a good feeling to know my son is surrounded by people who care about him in this place. You've been very kind; John and Stuart have both said the same thing. And you're honest with him. You pull no punches. I like that.”

 I could feel my cheeks pink up at her words, and she patted my arm as I smiled and huffed a small breath.

“Well thank you, Mrs. Sheeran. That means a lot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pass out some exquisitely prepared gourmet hospital food.” I rolled my eyes and she shook her head, and we both shared a laugh. “Hopefully Ed will actually eat some tonight.”

 I turned to leave, but stopped short when Ed's soft accent caught me.

 “Leesie? They call you that, right?” He was back in bed, his leg positioned back in traction, and his oxygen and monitors set around him, pillows piled up behind him.

 I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. And there was that pink in my cheeks again....

 “Yeah. Yeah they do.” I crossed my arms, and smiled to myself.  “My mom used to hate it. She always said she picked Annaliese because it was different and pretty, and then everyone started calling me Leesie for short. To this day, she's about the only one, who knows me anyway, that calls me by my full name. Well. Unless I'm in trouble, I guess.”  I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my hair, silently chastising myself for being such a chatterbox.

 “... I think Annaliese is lovely.”

 His voice was soft, and was studiously looking down at his injured hand, still bandaged, implanted pins still in place.

 “Oh, well… Thank you. You're sweet. I don't mind it much myself.” I smiled at him, thinking that this was the sweet boy I’d met the other night. I caught a glimpse of my watch and straightened up. 

“Oh crap. I should go, dinner is starting.  Be excited, Ed -  Spaghetti is coming.” I may have rolled my eyes, hoping for a smile. 

 “...Will you be…. Here… again this week?”

 I stopped short again at his quiet voice. If he wanted me to be…

 I tipped my head to the side. “Wednesday for a few hours, I think…?” I said softly.

“Just wonderin’...”  He lay his head back against the pillows, grimacing as something somewhere caught him. I hated seeing him in pain. 

“Could always use a visitor…. If you're around, that is.”

 I shook my head and flashed him a small smile. “Eat your spaghetti, bud.” I turned to leave. “And we’ll see.”

LINK TO MASTERLIST

A/N: I am so SO sorry this took so long, but it feels so good to be back in the swing of things. I beg you please, all comments/feedback/suggestions/Reblogs/ANYTHING is welcome and appreciated! Drop me an Anon ask, a comment, anything, and it makes all the difference! Thank you and SO Much more to come!! Xoxoxoxoxoxo

[lokilickedme]

Hello My Lady! Just because you asked, here are my faves of yours: #1 King (no surprise here), #2 Jack (too crazy not to love, and the stream crossing of pretty much all your stories is genius) #3 Chem/BD/TTW/TKH/TWK/can't remember them all. They're all special in their own way! Can't believe it'll be 3yrs soon since I started squatting your page!!! God time goes by fast! I'd like to add a special mention for the Muse Meetings, sooo funny, and a Golden Snowflake to Aleks. Cute little bumkin.

Thank you @fudgemuffinanon!  Dear god, has it been that long?  Seems like I joined up last year…*sits here blinking at my posts from 2015, wondering how that happened*

**LONG TEXT POST COMING UP**

You drew the lucky straw today my darling, I’m feeling wordy and in the mood to share.  A lot of people have asked me over the last couple of years how some of my stuff came about, and you mentioned one that gets a lot of asks.

Lemme tell you something about the Muse Meetings.  Way back in 1998 when I got my first computer, one of the very first things I ran across by way of internet fanfiction was a little something called The Very Secret Diaries penned by a writer named Cassandra Claire (who is now professionally published under the name Cassandra Clare).  The Very Secret Diaries (which are hilarious, btw) woke something up in me - mainly because, as a lifelong writer who had never allowed anyone to read 95% of my work, I finally realized that yeah, there were other people out there whose brains deviated from the standard in the same way mine did.  Her writing style back then (in the Diaries specifically, I’ve never actually read anything else she’s written) was very similar to the way I wrote, and those Diaries were exactly the sort of silly, ridiculous, irreverent thing I’d scribbled in my notebooks for most of my life.  And people liked it, she had a huge following based on just those out-of-context glimpses of her characters’ personal thoughts.  She was writing behind the scenes thoughts of characters, things that would never make it into books, and it was brilliant.  That was the kind of stuff I loved to write but had never given myself permission to show anyone.  She was showing hers to people, and they were loving it.

Which gave me the inspiration to not only put my work out there in the public eye for the first time ever, but to stick with my personal writing style (which I’d always assumed wasn’t what other people wanted to read, based on the books I’d been exposed to most of my life).  Not change anything.  Just do me.  And doing me meant writing silly nonsense if I wanted to.

So - The Very Secret Diaries are more or less the inspiration for the Muse Meetings, or at least the official written version of them.  I’d always imagined dialogues with my characters outside the confines of whatever story I was working on, but never thought anyone else would be interested in seeing me write it out.

The Diaries made me realize different.  Not only were her characters yammering and complaining and snarking at each other (both out of character and in), they were doing it in exactly the way I’d imagined my own characters interacting in the real world.  I loved it.  Seeing someone else do what I’d always done in my head - and do it in an official, out-there-in-the-public-eye capacity, was a revelation.  Finally I was able to give myself permission to write the way I wanted to, without restricting myself to the styles and methods in the books in the family library.  It had always been in my head, but now it didn’t have to stay there.  I could write proper stories, but I could also write what was going on in the other room, where the reader seldom gets to peek.  And other people besides myself might like it because hey, there’s precedent.

That was freeing, and I am grateful to Ms Claire for that.

So, a little history that leads up to how and why I finally started writing out the Muse Meetings:

My first fandoms that I wrote for online were Harry Potter and Star Wars (Kenobi specifically).  And yes, way back then (late 90′s - early 2000′s) there were already muse meetings among my characters.  I’ve been doing these for a long time, and I wish the out-of-character stuff I’d written back then still existed (my HP stuff bit the dust when The Restricted Section shut down, and my SW stuff was on FF.net for a little while but honestly I don’t remember my user ID there or the titles of the fics, though I have searched…so they’re most likely lost as well).  It’s sort of a shame because there were some old Anakin/Obi-Wan muse meetings that you guys would have loved…and the stuff between Remus and Sirius while we were hashing out what was going to be in their next chapter?  It still pains me that it’s all lost, but maybe it’s for the best.  That was nearly two decades ago, we move on to bigger and (hopefully) better things.

After my urge to write HP fic fizzled out I stopped writing for a while, but there were always muse meetings going on in my head for stories I scribbled mentally.  To me they’ve always been more fun than the actual stories, which explains my love for gag reels and behind-the-scenes featurettes for movies (I watch those first, always).

And then I found AO3 - funnily enough, I discovered it while searching the internet for one of my lost HP fics - and I decided to start writing in earnest again.  With all those thousands and thousands of fics and endless fandoms, it seemed like the perfect place to indulge my need to share what went on in my head.  And as I settled into the MCU and my stories started to grow to include multitudes of characters, those impromptu staff meetings with my muses kept being called to order.  Stuff that my characters would never say in the context of their stories got said.  Scenarios that were too ridiculous to waste time writing were played out.  Arguments and fights and bantering between characters who, in the restrictive confines of their own tales, would never in a million years interact…now they were throwing poptarts at each other (and occasionally knives) while the side characters wandered out of the room to watch TV or raid the fridge or sat in horror as someone’s until-now unassuming wife brandished a melon baller as a weapon.

It was messy and fun and was by far my favorite part of the writing process.

That’s what eventually became the Muse Meetings.  You want to know how they escaped my head and became an official thing?

Well I’m gonna tell ya lol

One of my very first friends in here, the fantastic @elvenfair1, was one of my first readers at AO3 and she told me I should post links to my fics at this site called tumblr to bring in a bigger audience.  So I opened an account here, followed her, posted some links as suggested, and she and I began messaging back and forth pretty much every night as we wrote our respective fics, bouncing ideas off each other and discussing plot points and brainstorming for character names.  And as my characters sassed me and refused to cooperate with what I wanted them to do, I would tell elvenfair what was going on in my head with my dumbass OCs and OFCs and we’d laugh and gripe about trying unsuccessfully to reel in our unruly muses.

And then one night back in 2015 she said “You should post this muse stuff, it’s hilarious.”

You know what the first thing I thought was?  Cassandra Claire did it 14 years ago and people loved it.  So yeah, I can sure as hell do it if I want.  If nobody is interested in it, at least it’ll amuse me and elvenfair and that’s cool enough.

And so I did.  I started posting them in here first, then as people started requesting them more I eventually moved them to AO3 in a more structured format.  And now you guys have multiple Lokis hurling curses at a bartender and viciously baiting a hapless movie star while teenage versions of two other attendees flirt with unsuspecting OFCs, with an occasional appearance by Thor dropping hints about future chapters and looking for fruit roll-ups.  It’s messy, but it’s fun and I’ve always enjoyed writing it as a way to let my brain decompress, especially when one of my “real” stories has hit a roadbump.

Since then I’ve seen countless other professional writers doing the exact same thing - J.R. Ward even posts her own version of muse meetings on her official website AND has a published book (her Insiders Guide) that is almost entirely nothing BUT muse meetings.   It’s surprising how many writers actually do this and I sometimes wonder if authors like Poe, Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Tolkien, Gaiman, McMurtry didn’t do it themselves (I’d bet money on McMurtry).  Just goes to show there’s not an original idea anywhere in the universe…no matter how much you might believe you came up with it first, someone out there has been doing it for a long damn time before you - and a million more will do it after you :)

Anyway, I haven’t written any muse meetings in a while but they still go on constantly in my head.  I get asked about once a week to go back to doing them, and one day I will, when I have time for it.  My actual fics are struggling for writing time as it is and I made a conscious decision to weed out the unnecessary stuff in favor of “real work” (yeah right lol)…but yeah, the Meetings are still one of my favorite things and I won’t stop doing them permanently - they’ll be back.

So thank you Cassandra Claire for inspiring me to let them fly…if it weren’t for those whacked-out Diaries, the Muse Meetings would all still be in my head with only one person (me) laughing at them.

[inkstainedfanfics]

End of the Year Fic Rec!

I started this blog in like March or April of this year, and since then, I’ve written plenty, but I’ve also read tons of work by others. So I decided to take a moment and just list some of my favorite fics/drabbles/one-shots I’ve read this year from the lovely people that take time to write stories for everyone.

I sorted them by fandom, and listed the author only once. So if there’s a few fics that follow an author, then they are written by that author until you see a different username! I hope you all check out and enjoy these stories as much as I do, and send comments to them if you do!

If you’re on this list, thank you so much for taking the time to write your stories. They’ve helped make my days better and have made me smile countless times. Thank you so much, I hope you have a lovely 2018 :)

And if anyone has any other recs, feel free to reblog and add them on. Authors deserve some love, and starting the new year off by giving them some appreciation can’t hurt!

                                       FANTASTIC BEASTS

White Lace - @fantasticnewtimagines: A Prince!Newt AU. Need I say more? Probably not but I will bc this series is wonderful. 2 parts are out, and I’m already shipping Newt x Reader. He’s so sweet but impatient with his role in the world and I just adore him and his interactions with Theseus so much.

Breakfast in Bed: Newt x Reader fluff. Pure fluff that is beautifully described with an adorable guest appearance by the disgusted Pickett.

Come Back: Newt x Reader. 3 recs in and I’m already recommending angst. Fitting. But honestly this fic will break your heart. Mentions of blood so don’t read if you’re squeamish about that I guess but otherwise, I promise you will not regret reading this fic. It’s heart wrenching and gorgeous.

Magical Office - @drdanwrites: The Office crosses Fbawtft. This series is hilarious and moving and a lovely combination of the popular show and the popular movie. I love the characterizations within this, and plenty of the jokes have legit made me laugh. It’s the right balance of goofy with dramatic and I’m hanging on every update.

Too Late - @scamanderson: Newt Angst. Shoot man I’m a sucker for the ‘tries to return to find out the other has moved on, awkward reunion’ trope (v. specific Ik lol) and this fic perfectly captures that idea. It’s sad, depicting the emotions of lost love and anger and regret as well as I think is possible.

                                       HARRY POTTER

Well, Hello There - @losers-witch: Remus Lupin x Reader. Sassy Reader gives me life tbh. “What’s a pretty young thing like you, doing in a bar like this?” “Ignoring you” I love it. + Protective, Confident Remus, something I miss in fics. + it mentions his scars in no way in a negative light, something I really like. + it’s a super cute story that has a chance meeting oooo. Go read it, seriously. You won’t regret it.

Mine: Draco x Reader. Tbh I normally don’t read Draco fics bc they don’t always characterize him like I expect, but this one is different (along with all the other ones she writes about him). He’s sweet in his own, Draco specific way. I like how it tracks the relationship growth in separate times and how we watch them grow together and apart as we read. and it has another confident Reader ahhhhh. I’ve reread it multiple times, also something I rarely do.

Welcome Back - @drdanwrites: Cedric Diggory x Reader. I honestly cannot read this around other people. I flail and can’t stop smiling it’s so dang cute. I love it more than anything. My boy Cedric is horribly underrepresented, and this is a wonderful cure to that. He’s so sweet about how much he loves his S/O and how he misses her when she’s gone and when he’s in the taxi on the way to pick her up??????? You should totally read this if you want your heart to grow like the Grinch’s.

The Climb: Cedric Diggory x Reader. I can’t even with this. It’s beautiful. He’s sweet and cute and you watch the relationship unfold and then there’s a kiss that I will never be over it’s so well written and honestly if you love Cedric and haven’t read this fic, you’re missing out.

You Are My Happiness: Seamus Finnegan Soulmate AU. Another boy that’s totally underrepresented. I haven’t read any other fics for him, so finding this was a miracle. The friendship between the two is adorable and seeing the two’s thoughts about each other is flipping adorable idk. You should 100% read this to make your day better.

                                       CRIMINAL MINDS

Gingerbread - @bookofreid: Spencer Reid x Reader. Soooooooo sweet. The final sentence gets me. Spencer’s so adorable and I love him and this drabble only fuels that love further and further. I still swoon and “awwwww” even after reading it at least six times. Short and sweet and worth your time 1000 times over.

Christmas Cheer: Spencer Reid x Reader. For some reason the line “Christmas with the Reids” gets me. This one involves Derek. Another short and sweet story that I love. The author has tons of shorter ones like this and Gingerbread, and I’m slowly but surely making my way through the list. The author has a wonderful grasp on the voice of the characters, and not once have I felt they said something ooc. Definitely check out and (I recommend) follow bookofreid bc the blog’s pretty great too.

The Ramblings of an Introvert: Spencer Reid x Reader. Okay, I’m a few parts into this 7 part series, but it’s gorgeous. It captures Reid’s voice really well, and I like the idea of him writing letters since that’s actually addressed in the show as something he would do. It’s an interesting way to relay his feelings, and I think the author executes it really well. The language use is exactly how I think Spencer would write, and the expression of his emotions is well done. Really lovely story that I’m certain I’ll be rereading in a while.

We All Fall Down - @criminal-minds-fanfiction: Spencer Reid angst. Another series that I’m only a few parts into. Honestly, I don’t read long series often, and I believe this one is over 20, but I read the 1st part and I had to continue on. The writing is descriptive enough that you get the scene but aren’t overloaded with details. It’s extremely engaging and sets up a story with a hook better than almost any other fic I’ve read. It also involves an intriguing relationship between Spencer and Reader, one that keeps you guessing and reading. Plus Will makes an appearance and I live for his accent and sweet attitude.

                                       MARVEL

Night Out - @wolflhards: Clint Barton x Reader. All right, this is my only Marvel entry bc I don’t really read for the characters EXCEPT Clint and I’ve found very, very few Clint stories *sobs*. I like this one though for how mischievous Clint is in the beginning. I think it really captures him. Then he’s sweet and goofy and ahhh so many emotions bc I love Clint so much. + a Corvette is involved, an undeniable plus. + THE END if you love Clint you’ll die. It’s such a wonderful last couple of paragraphs there to tie up a beautiful story.

                                       SUPERNATURAL

Dean Checking In - @supernaturalfreewill: Dean x Reader. Super short, a drabble, but still super cute. We get to see how Dean and Reader text, and then Dean smiles and I love that and Idk man I don’t have super in depth ideas for this, it just made me smile and swoon and I figure everyone should have the chance to read it and have that reaction.

Protective Dean: Dean x Reader. Another super short drabble but I have a thing for Protective!Boy fics, so this one is a favorite of mine. Dean’s so dang swoonworthy help.

Dean Sees You in a Towel: Dean x Reader. Dean’s so startled and he starts stammering and he’s showing his dorky, embarrassed side. Such a cute glimpse into a small situation.

Shut Up and Dance: Dean x Reader. They meet at a wedding Dean crashes, and the chemistry is amazing. I adore the dialogue in this, and could only ever wish to write Dean this well. Perfectly captures him and how he acts, and sets up a beautiful meeting that I just want to continue to read. Plus the ending is so gosh dang cute you’ll never get over it. Dean’s met his match :D

Impact - @kaz2y5-imagines: Dean x Reader. I will never be over this fic. I think about it all the time. It’s haunting, and Dean’s reaction to the crash has me swooning. He cares SO MUCH for the Reader, evident in his begging for Reader to return. And the end. Ugh. I love this fic so much. One of my favorite Dean fics I’ve read ever.

                                       DRAGON AGE

What You Did was Stupid - @jawsandbones: FenHawke. Okay, jaw is my go-to Fenhawke/ZevxWarden author bc all the works are beautiful. The author’s writing style is like the opposite of mine with short sentences and concise descriptions, but I’m jealous bc it’s so wonderfully done. A master of writing, I read everything that’s posted. This drabble in particular broke my heart. I requested it, and didn’t expect to literally tear up, but I did and now I’m here, recommending it to you all so you can have your heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces. It’s worth it, though, for the beauty of the tale and the tenderness of the emotions.

I Care About You: FenHawke. I don’t normally like fics that include mage!Hawke bc I always play as a rogue, which is fine, obv, authors can write what they want, I just usually scroll past it. But I didn’t scroll past this one, and thankfully so. It depicts a moment, one that is held out, one of terror meeting calm, need meeting warmth, worry finding a hand to help. I just love it. It’s short like the one above, but still rich with emotions and tentative, uncertain feelings that plague the beginning stages of a relationship. Idk I just love it. Highly recommend checking out her other works.

All in a Name - @kierarutherford: Cullen Rutherford x Inquisitor Baseball!AU on AO3. I don’t like baseball, but I’m partway into this series and I love it. I really enjoy how various characters have been included and written while Cullen’s still the focal point. Diana is independent and tough, but not obnoxiously so. I haven’t finished it yet, but the pieces I’ve read are interesting, the details really well described. I can always hear/see the scene vividly. The author’s super talented and wrote tons of stories this year, and I think y’all should check her works out bc they’re awesome.

[cindersinrags]

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart never broke up. Indeed, their split was merely a distraction for the press that would guarantee the former Twilight stars privacy. In the interim period, where Pattinson got engaged to FKA Twigs and Stewart dated a series of women, including St. Vincent, the pair were actually living in wedded bliss. Their PR game was so effective that it helped to hide no fewer than two pregnancies for Stewart. Now, the Pattinson-Stewart family are happy together, laughing at the ignorance of the press and public who believe they broke up years ago and moved onto fulfilling and happy relationships with other people.

Of all the weird celebrity conspiracies that pollute the internet, the Robsten fandom may be my favourite one. It has everything: Press conspiracies, outlandish theories that would put Moon landing truthers to shame, the inability to tell reality from fiction, and of course, bad photoshops. Every now and then, when I see Pattinson and Stewart in the headlines, I go and visit the tin-hatters’ sites for that potent combination of entertainment and fear for my life. It’s astounding that they’re still keeping up this façade. As time passes, I wonder more and more if they truly believe it or if they’re going full My Immortal with the scam. It’s too outlandish to be real, yet the emotions behind it clearly are.

Sadly, this is nothing new for the world of shippers, nor is it limited to the breeding pair of Twilight. Name a prominent pop culture property and the chances are there are hardcore shippers whose interest goes beyond a fizzy hobby. Some fans truly believe that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnsonare a real couple, which is hysterical because their chemistry levels in the Fifty Shades series are sub-zero. The stars of Outlander face the same shippers. Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are secret lesbian lovers, according to a subset of their fandom. Cate Blanchett will eventually leave her husband and children for Carol co-star Rooney Mara, thus freeing her from an exploitative bearding relationship with Joaquin Phoenix. The Larry fandom have yet to admit defeat, even as both Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson admit the fan delusions over their supposed secret romance hurt their real-life friendship. The Supernatural guys may never shake those conspiracies.

It isn’t all romance related either. Spare a thought for poor Benedict Cumberbatch, whose already overzealous fan-base includes a portion of people who think he was trapped into marriage and fatherhood by his wife, who they paint as the modern-day iteration of Medea. They don’t even think his kids are real. Apparently, one of them is clearly a doll.

I could go on, listing the many other fandoms I’ve come across with these near identical conspiracies of secret relationships, hidden children, public relations bullying, and so on. From Scandal to Orange is the New Black to The Hunger Games, it’s as big a part of fandom as cosplay and dirty fanfiction. A lot of the time, the celebrities being obsessed over don’t even know it’s happening. If they call it out, as Robert Pattinson did, or mock it, like Armie Hammer recently did on Instagram after someone DM-d him to claim he should be gay like his character in Call Me By Your Name, then they write that off as simply proving their point. The majority of fans deride and condemn this behaviour, partly because it reflects badly on everyone else but mostly because it’s blatant bullshit that should be treated as such. What is most striking about these myriad conspiracies is how eerily similar they all are in terms of tone and content.

The basic set-up for a tin-hatter shipping conspiracy is thus: The pair are in love, the pair are in a serious relationship, but they have to hide it from the world because of ‘evil PR’. The nature of this shadowy public relations organization is never made clear. It’s mostly rooted in conjecture and a hazy understanding of how the entertainment industry has worked over the decades. Historically, publicists and studios have operated with a certain degree of shadiness. In the Golden Era of Hollywood, where studios reigned supreme, a star’s image could be kept on a tight leash and their indiscretions hidden from the public. Fixers like Eddie Mannix (made famous in the Coen Brothers’ movie Hail, Caesar!) could clear up all manner of problems if the occasion called for it. Pregnancies could be hidden, illegal abortions procured, marriages annulled or concealed, and even the occasional murder dealt with (allegedly). We know this stuff happened, and we know that today, publicists do a lot of work to keep their clients happy. That probably doesn’t extend so far as to covering up marriages and multiple pregnancies and fake babies.

The psychologies behind these tin-hatter conspiracies tend to be remarkably similar too. There’s always massive amounts of paranoia at the heart of their delusions. Arrogance is key as well. You need infallible ego to maintain repeatedly debunked fantasies. They talk of their conspiracies as if they’re the most obvious truths in the world, deriding the ‘ignorant masses’ who refuse to see the reality in front of them, which they’ve kindly circled in MS Paint. The mentality is frequently rooted in a strong brand of self-victimization: They tie their theories to social issues like homophobia and claim anyone who opposes their belief that the One Direction guys are in love are clearly bigots. Even when the people in question call out this nonsense, they’re written off as poor closeted prisoners of invincible publicists. The game of tin-hating shippers is designed so that they never lose.

That’s the sad part of this all. They won’t be proven wrong simply because they’ve invested too much of themselves into this fantasy. They run around in circles, desperately claiming everything is against them and only they are smart enough to know the truth. If Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan insist they’re just friends, it’s only to throw everyone off the scent. When Tony Goldwyn talks of his love for his wife, it’s just to distract everyone from his romance with Kerry Washington. If Robert Pattinson is smiling in public, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen; if he’s looking a bit down, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen.

When the fantasy does begin to crumble, the tin-hatters get violent in their rhetoric. Taylor Schilling’s rumoured boyfriend briefly deleted his social media after receiving harassment from her fans who think she’s with Laura Prepon (who just had a baby with Ben Foster). Rooney Mara’s so-called fans called her a disgrace for dating a man and claimed she was letting down LGBTQ+ kids everywhere because of it. Robert Pattinson’s then-girlfriend FKA Twigs faced all manner of horrific racist and sexist abuse for simply existing. It can be easy to laugh people like this off, but we’ve also seen what happens to celebrities when their obsessive fans decide to invade their lives. A 19-year-old fan of Lana Del Rey drove cross-country to her house, broke into her garage and tweeted about it. An obsessive fan of Paula Abdul committed suicide outside her house. Rebecca Schaeffer’s stalker shot her on her own doorstep.

Real person shipping (or RPF) doesn’t bother me in theory. If you just treat it like any other fandom hobby - safe, private, clearly fiction - then go for it. There’s a major difference between liking two actors and writing silly fanfiction about them and going to extremes to prove they’re actually married. The people who cross that line are a minority, but they’re a loud and insidious minority who shouldn’t be written off as mere ‘crazies’. This phenomenon is undoubtedly fascinating and reveals a lot about various intersections of celebrity, media, the internet, fandom, and so on. It’s worth keeping an eye on, if only to ensure nobody gets hurt, because it’s not unique to internet culture. This stuff breeds, and that should concern us all.

Now, when do I get my shadowy PR conspiracy cheque?

[zentheatrics-blog]

The Other Fifty: A Thought On Sex In Cinema

For those that read my randomly written reviews, I want to thank you. Being able to spread my thoughts on various film concepts intrigues me. From movies that give you a HUD (nerd speak) to movies tackling tough subjects, I like to contemplate. This outlet is healthy and I truly enjoy it.

With that out of the way, let me begin by saying this is a review of Fifty Shades of Grey. It will follow a different format and a different approach, so give it some love and let me know if it tickles your fancy. Tedsters is still here, as well as a special guest star who will be revealed later. Say hi, Tedsters.

~Eating noddles~ Hi. ~Returns to eating noodles~

So let us begin. It won’t be that kind of ride, but it will be a kind of ride.

-The Essence of Entertaining Subject Matter-

One of the most intriguing nerdy experiences I had was working with Lunar Magic on the computer. For those that remember that phase of my life, I worked on making my own Super Mario World levels using a program called Lunar Magic. In each level I designed, I would come up with a concept that the community would call a “Gimmick”. To define in the context of the game, a gimmick is any idea that mixes up the gameplay by innovating it. A simple example is having a level where Mario has to jump on platforms that fade in and out. The unity of these platforms creates an intriguing aesthetic, while also challenging the player. Along with this, this gimmick expands on the default gameplay of Mario jumping. See, the thing is within a game you have the basic default gameplay and the gimmicks the player must go through. Good gameplay is important, as well as very well orchestrated gimmicks. Here is a list of things to consider when making gimmicks in a level:

Does the gimmick expand or challenge the default gameplay?

Is it innovative?

Does it draw in the player? ~Like the dreaded water levels of Mario~

Does it inspire or intrigue the player?

And lastly, does it fit within the game? Does the artwork match? Is it forced? Is there too little of it? How is the pacing of the game influenced by the gimmick?

When you consider these factors and how they relate to game design, you may even see how they could be related to any other subjective media. We see them in movies, art, and music. Kendrick Lamar, in some of his rap songs, will vary up his rap style to create multiple layers. Gimmicks. Wes Anderson will use the centering screen film style (default to him) while also adding unique situations to expand upon this (gimmicks). So how does this work with Fifty Shades of Grey?

It doesn’t. ~Finishes up noodles~ 

How do you even eat? Anyways. Next bolded text section!

-The Relation of Gimmicks to Fifty Shades-

I refuse to make a TL;DR for this, so hear me out. Fifty Shades of Grey has a lot of things going against it and I will note that here. First of all, there were two things I liked about the movie: the drunk scene where Anastasia Steele begins to tell hilarious jokes to a cringe-worthy Christian Grey. It was funny, on point, and actually felt natural compared to the rest of the movie. The second thing I liked about the movie was how Christian Grey had a document to sign to have sex with him. I liked the business set up for it. It was funny to me... I dunno.

Kinky Erik. ~Gets up, grabs a glass bottle Coke, and sits down~

Anyways... Gimmicks. Right. Okay.

So in movies, much like in level design, there is a need for good gimmicks. It is definitely true that good character development, pacing, plot development, and connecting to the audience are all important. As the same time, there are many B movies that are self aware in such a way that they know they are B movies. They give up on good character development, in a sense, to give a more rewarding film experience. Rocky Horror Picture Show comes to mind a little. Or some of Monty Python. Anyways, Fifty Shades of Grey does not fit this mold and as such I feel that the chemistry between the two characters is flat. Most people probably agree.

The pacing of the movie felt slow and predictable, along with the plot. The point is these elements did not draw me in and when I experienced the drunk scene or the sex document concept, I wanted more of that. The rest did not deliver that natural feeling where I felt a part of it. I felt more like I was simply sitting through two characters going through the motions instead of feeling emotions.

With that said, it leads to the gimmicks category. One of the movie’s focuses was on sex gimmicks, which I theorize has to be done very specifically in order to work with the rest of the above mentioned elements in a movie. It is like telling a daring joke where everything (the set up, the twist, and the punch line) is executed perfectly. I feel that with Fifty Shades, the sex gimmicks were fine to attempt to bring in the viewer. The issue is, it did not bring me in. I predict that this is due to not building a good default gameplay. The characters forced a thing that needed clarification. Christian can be a sex dominant, but I want to feel (bear with it) him. I want to relate to his struggles and his desires. I want to be a part of Anastasia’s character.

These gimmicks of sexual intrigue have to be played out by characters who care, at least on screen. It felt too much like going through the motions. The setting of the joke was off, even if the gimmicks themselves could totally work in a different setting. I remember my time watching Secretary and how I felt a part of the movie. The slapping scene felt dirty, but it also felt like I was part of it. With Fifty Shades, it felt like I was watching a soft core porn with no connection to the characters. On top of that (no pun intended), a gimmick can not be over done. That is what happened to Fifty Shades. 

With that said, let us get another view. ~Unlocks closest~

Enter Angela...

Well... I’m not sure why I was locked in a closet, per se, but I did have the debatable pleasure of listening to Erik mutter to himself the whole way through this review... and I suppose the first thing I need to do here is... Hang on...

*steals Tedsters’ Coke and crunches on some uncooked ramen*

Ha! I was starved... but not in the way Anastasia so clearly was in the film. My question is how come every time a film like this comes out the female protagonist seems to be a complete innocent in all ways sexual? Now, I understand this is a parody sloppy fanfiction  romantic story loosely based on the Twilight series, and Bella was the same as Ana in this - seemingly able to live her life on her own until the instant the main male character enters and then it’s all, “Save me, hold me, make me the way you imagine your woman to be [cuz I have no unique template to follow]!”

Now, Fifty Shades does improve vastly in the second film, but that is for another day. For this day, Ana is very clearly the damsel in need of direction. The thing is, there are times in the film when she almost seems to be playing to Christian’s whims, teasing (with that lip biting and the texting/messages), and the like. Unfortunately, for her, it does all go too far (at her own behest), and she up and leaves Christian.

To be honest, upon rewatching the film recently, I found that I actually do like Ana much more than Bella. Whereas Bella frequents the “roll over and let the man take control” approach, Ana mostly only does that with the sex scenes (which, I do agree, were far less hardcore than expected, given the books); in real life beyond that, Ana actually does have a little bit of a backbone and she does stand up for herself, even to the point of leaving at the end. Go Ana! (When I learned she was going to return to Christian’s arms in the next book/movie, I was peeved, but again, at least from the film’s standpoint, it was actually more reasonably presented, even if it was inconsistent at times).

To wrap this up a bit... Fifty Shades left something to be desired, and not just for Ana and Christian. It’s true - the only scenes that felt truly natural were the bar night and, actually, the small plane scene when Christian and Ana actually seemed to be having fun without needing a Red Room or a contract (screw contracts that order your way of screwing!). For the most part, the relationship didn’t seem to be based on much (again, more development was given in the second film to make it more understandable) and it was rather portrayed as shallow.

Ultimately, I would say Fifty Shades of Grey would serve better as a prequel, or a mini-sode in the grand scheme of the series. It didn’t really need to be a feature length movie, but isn’t that just the way these days with directors making their movies as long or spread out as possible (The Hobbit, Breaking Dawn and Harry Potter come immediately to mind)? I honestly think it would have worked just as well with some thoughtful cutting and editing of the existing scenes, some condensing, or at least a lot more character development. But that’s just me - I ask for a lot in wanting a decent storyline and relatable characters.

*Tosses the empty Coke bottle* Now that I’ve had my sugar for the week, I’m gonna run wild! Maybe that is why I was locked in the closet... Right, for my own good. Just like that contract was for Christian’s Ana’s, right? *runs away*

-To Sum It Up-

~Staring at his empty hand, without any Coke~ Well I definitely didn’t plan for this. I liked what she said... but now my drink... It is gone. Have you gotten paid yet?

Don’t be looking at me Teddy! Anyways. Overall Fifty Shades was a movie that did not do what I imagine the book was able to achieve. It had poor character and plot development. I agree with the mini-sode idea and how longer than necessary movies has become another modern day cinema mistake that is done way more than it should be. The Hobbit is a great example of this. I agree that Ana’s ability to be more independent does help, however the trend of falling to the whims of a man is definitely over played.

Lastly, to clarify, gimmicks are great when executed correctly. It requires a good deal of thought, even for the ones that felt suddenly created. Pacing, environment, being believable, and shot correctly by the camera are important for cinema gimmicks. Fifty Shades does not do well following these trends and in all honesty we can learn a lot about proper filming techniques from this movie. Overall I give it one strap-on out of... well actually lets just end it here. Anyways, I wonder where Angela ran off to.

I don’t know man. Wanna watch Secretary?

Sure thing. *Goes to the fridge and pulls out a glass bottle of Coke* Here you go buddy.

I love yeah man. Cheers!