#beszél

[ket-veglet-kozt]

Nem az a legfontosabb, amiről beszél az ember... hanem az, amiről nem mond semmit..

[neatfrog]

The way Blitzø was desperately begging Stolas like “I can do better!” how many times do y’all think he said that to his dad at the circus 😭

[bitesu-bitesu-bitesu]

Postás faszi elkezdett ríni nekem hogy szar a melója amit teljesen atereztem mert én is melóztam ilyet aztán valahogy eljutottunk a Witcherig és mondta hogy a medve armort nyomjam mert az mennyire jó, nálam meg most pont abba van beoltoztetve a Geralt mert ugye valójában minden játék öltöztetős játék nekem es amugyis azért tanultam meg kaszabolni bármilyen játékban hogy lehessen a szép ruhácskákat megkaparintani de mondta a csávó hogy nézzek YouTube tutorialt hogy hogy kell megszervalni és hát apukám elarulom hogy én magamtól megtaláltam azt a gyászt mert nekem kell a szép ruhácska ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

[eros-pista]

PINNED POSZT!!

Hobbim: lovagolni és hátra felé nyilazni

Kedvenc italom: pálinka (bármilyen, csak házi), unicum

Kedvenc kaja: lángos, erős pista

Ne interaktálódj velem ha: résztvettél a Trianonban, nem szereted a madártejet, nem szereted a pulikat, nem fogadod el a paprikákat, csontváz vagy, ha ismered arészfaszúbagolyt

[politikapolka]

[noys-boise]

Pásztor Ferenc kft

[neatfrog]

There’s a story I love to tell, because my mom was initially against me coloring my hair (for the last reason, afraid people would judge her as a bad parent). She finally relented and let me get highlights at 11/12, but she was still opposed to me completely coloring my hair.

So in like, 7th grade, I wanted to get highlights on top but then dye the underside brown (it was a pretty common style around then), and when I asked my mom she was all “no that’s gonna look trashy, you can only get highlights” (I mean it probably didn’t help that the reference I showed her was Jamie Lynn Spears on the cover of a magazine pregnant at 16 lol)

Anyway, fast forward to the hair appointment. We went to the same stylist as usual and mom left me there while she went to visit my aunts or something. The hairstylist asked what I wanted, and I, with the most devious of intentions, told her to do the highlight/brown dye that I wanted (she obviously didn’t know my mom had said no).

So mom comes back, I beam a little wickedly and ask “so what do you think?”, and mom, not even realizing, was like “oh I like it, it looks good!”

Cue me going “HA. You said you liked it so you can’t get mad!!”

She got mad anyway, but in my eyes it’s still one of my biggest Ws

(I did have to call and apologize to the stylist for lying, which was understandable, but I don’t remember getting any actual punishment lmao)

@ parents who dont let their kids dye their hair: why r u so afraid of ur kid looking cool

[lajos65]

boldogulni fogsz | Tanulj meg veszíteni | Mindig meg foglak védeni | Ist...

[ahazanemlehet]

Ön ugye nem beszél magyarul?

„Ön, ugye, nem beszél magyarul?” – faggatta a France 24 riporterét Novák ["bukott KE" - a szerk.] Katalin, az Emmi család- és ifjúságügyért felelős államtitkára, ezzel vonva kétségbe, hogy a francia új­ságíró nyelvtudás nélkül érti, mi történik nálunk.

magyarnarancs.hu 2019. január 13.

requested by @mutim3g

[neatfrog]

🍎: ‘heh, it’s like you’re molting’

📻: *seething*

credit to @starweaversguidetotheuniverse for the idea of Lucifer helping Alastor with his antlers shedding ✨

✨ my art | insta | commission info ✨

[eros-pista]

Fuck my stupid baka life

[ultramegatroutman]

Kiskamasz törzsvásárlónk érkezik (valahol a spektrumon van a kölök sztem, kicsit hangosan, nagyon határozottan és iszonyatosan választékosan beszél.)

-JÓNAPOT KÍVÁNOK! AJÁNDÉKOT SZERETNÉK VÁSÁROLNI! ÉS MI MÁS LEHETNE AZ AJÁNDÉK, MINT KÖNYV!

-Szia! Tessék, nézz körül.

(7 másodperc múlva már a pultnál áll, egy atom gatya angol nyelvű Hobbittal.)

-Nem viharvert ez egy kicsit ajándéknak?

-ANGOLUL TANULOK. LEHET HOGY MÉGSEM AJÁNDÉK LESZ. MENNYIBE KERÜL?

-1500 Ft.

-MINDJÁRT MEGNÉZEM, HOGY ANYAGILAG MEGENGEDHETEM-E MAGAMNAK. (Közben az anyjával egyezteti a vásárlást telefonon, meg találkozót beszélnek meg.)

(Pénztárcában túrás, 1350 Ft jön össze.)

-HÁT EZ MOST NEM LESZ ELÉG!

-Figyelj, nem valami szép állapotú, most akcióban 1350 Ft-ért tudom adni.

Halálos komolysággal:

-MICSODA SZERENCSE, HOGY PONT ENNYI VAN NÁLAM!

Fizet, távozik. Kimegyek cigizni, a kölök a következő sarkon áll a járda közepén, hátizsák, egyik kezében tornatatyó, másikban a könyv, és olvassa.

[dioskailacs]

volt egy barátnőm, aki soha az életében nem vállalt felelősséget semmilyen tettéért és soha nem kért semmiért bocsánatot. ha felhoztam valamit, ami fájt nekem, vagy megbántott, mindig volt magyarázata, hogy ez miért volt, és mindig én voltam az érkézetlen fasz, amiért képtelen vagyok megérteni őt és elfogadni úgy ahogy van. én pedig évekig hittem neki, és ha ő bántódott meg valamin, akkor bocsánatot kértem, amire persze mindig az volt a válasz, hogy a bocsánatkéréseiddel tele van a padlás. nagyjából tíz év után kecmeregtem ki az agymosásból, amiben addig voltam, és mikor megszakítottam vele a kapcsolatot, mondtam a pszichológusomnak, hogy bár soha nem tudhatom, milyen szörnyű lehetett neki gyerekkorában, mégiscsak szar, hogy így bánik másokkal. erre mondta a pszichológusom, hogy de hát maga pontosan tudja, hogy milyen volt a barátnőjének gyerekkorában, mert maga ugyanazt kapta tőle, amit ő a szüleitől. és akkor ez hatalmas megértés volt nekem, meg utána szembe kellett néznem azzal, hogyan épített le szép lassan az évek alatt és formált át olyanra, ami az �� érdekeit szolgálja, aztán amikor már túl sokat lázadoztam, amikor már problémássá váltam, elkezdett másokat behálózni (sikeresen), hogy mindig legyen valaki, aki körberajongja, és hát mindig van is, mert ilyenek a nárcisztikusok. na de a lényeg ebből, hogy azt volt ebben a legnehezebb feldolgozni, hogy én engedtem, hogy egy másik ember a saját igényeire tréneljen be úgy, hogy magamat maximálisan cserbenhagyom és semmilyen határt nem húzok, mert megtanultam a saját igényeim mindig a sor végére tartoznak. és ez egy viszonylag lájtos sztori, de ezek alapján bőven el tudom képzelni, milyen nehéz lehet egy olyan bántalmazó kapcsolatból kimászni, mind fitikailag, mind mentálisan, mind lelkileg, ami mondjuk párkapcsolati vagy szülő-gyerek, mert kívülről könnyű látni a mintákat, de aki ott van bent, az addig lett agymosva és manipulálva és idomítva arra hogy a saját igényei kifejezése bűntudattal és szégyennel társuljon, amíg már ez válik a normálissá, és amíg nincs valamiféle külső nagyon erős ellenpélda, addig általában fel sem merül az emberben, hogy vele milyen kegyetlenségek történnek. persze erre is hallottam már, hogy csak a nyomorult akaratgyenge emberekkel lehet ezt megcsinálni (és régen itt el is hallgattam volna mert hát ugye én is az vagyok és igen, aki nyomorult az megérdemli hogy bármit megcsináljanak vele), de ma már visszakérdeznék, hogy na de az elkövető milyen jogon teszi ezt meg a nála gyengébbel?

Having compassion and empathy for others doesn’t mean that you should tolerate disrespect and bad behavior. You can have compassion for others while also setting boundaries. If not, you’ll not only end up hurting yourself, but making other people more important than you. You’re important too. You need compassion too.

[pajjorimre]

Angol faszi, holland feleség, itt a fiuk,

"He is mentally disbled a little bit", alig látszik rajta amúgy, minden erdekli, meg is ért mindent, fel is fogja. Mindennek örül, az a fajta, aki 16 éves létére azzal az ártatlansággal tud bármire rácsodálkozni, amire én utoljára kb 6 hónapos koromban voltam képes és kábé ennyi a látható jele annak hogy másképp viselkedik. Kicsit figyeltem a srácot ahogy beszél, mit csinált és mit fog, ha valami rossz történt vele, azt is sajnálkozva mondta hogy hát nem volt szerencséje, ennyire cuki hollandot életemben nem láttam még, aztán mielőtt leültünk kajálni, mondtam az apjának, he is not disabled, but we are. Majdnem elbőgte magát a 2 méter magas pali, inkább elszaladt kávét főzni, egyemmeg. ❤️

[csakszavak]

Senki sem beszél arról, milyen fájdalmas fokozatosan kiszeretni valakiből a viselkedése miatt…

[neatfrog]

my own 2 cents (in agreement):

As someone with mental illness/trauma also married (6 years! ❤️ ) to someone who also has (similar) mental illness/trauma, it’s definitely difficult when you both have shitty self-image and constantly make assumptions about what other people must think of you. (We’re also both autistic/have ADHD, so of course there are those additional challenges as well)

In the beginning we would make each other feel bad without meaning to because the emotions triggered could be so intense and scary - that fear of being rejected, abandoned, or otherwise failing the people in your life. The way past trauma makes you desperately cling to certain people and beg them not to leave you (while also totally expecting them to leave you). Unless you’ve had proper therapy, it’s hard to know how to handle these feelings in a healthy way (now that we both have had proper therapy, this is much easier for us now and we have very open communication and blunt honesty bc it’s the only thing that works).

Neither Stolas nor Blitzø has ever really had a good concept of relationships. As mentioned, Stolas has a more romanticized and idealistic expectation of the kind of relationship he would want, and it sets him up for easy rejection when he doesn’t get the kind of response he clearly wanted from Blitzø (the first part of his duet was basically fantasizing about the best outcome where Blitzø would feel the same and they would walk off into the sunshine together holding hands).

I was in a shitty, verbally/emotionally abusive relationship when I met my current spouse, and when I had my ‘awakening’ (I was already queer and knew it so that wasn’t the issue, more that at that point in my life I just never expected the passion and happiness that another person could ignite in you) of course initially it felt like ‘oh this is what love is supposed to be, it’s magical and perfect and should never be difficult’. Which, is an unrealistic expectation no matter who your partner is. Even in the most compatible of relationships, you’re going to struggle sometimes and go through difficult things. It’s how you deal with those situations that matters, and neither of these two guys have any idea how to do that in a healthy way.

How do you react when the person you thought could never have real feelings for you and just views you as a convenience is suddenly like “by the way, I’ve loved you all this time and want to be together”?

How do you react when the person you confess that love to yells that you should “hate them” because they’re “undeserving” or “unworthy”?? Or blatantly accuses you of pitying or placating them with false feelings?

When you both struggle with your own complicated feelings of self-worth and fear of rejection, it’s hard to take the other person’s positive feelings for you at face value (especially when you’ve never been able to do that ever in your life). It’s easier to assume they’re lying, or toying with you - anything is simpler than accepting that someone finds you worthy of the love you can’t even give to yourself.

I could say a lot more, but honestly this whole scene was so painfully real and in-character with how it played out, both their reactions made sense and I understand both sides.

I’m genuinely optimistic that they will, at some point, have a proper conversation about their feelings - even if they don’t immediately start a relationship, they can at least get on the same page and acknowledge what issues they need to work on.

Why People With Mental Illness And Trauma Deserve Love

(and why Blitzø Buckso is one of them)

Grab yourself some snacks and a drink, I'll have a talk with you people who go all for the

"If you can't love yourself, you can't love anybody else"

mantra, which is toxic as fuck.

And sorry for the typos 😬🥲

SPOILER WARNING Full Moon

tw:mental illness / coping mechanism / self harm self worth / shitty parenting /abusive and toxic relationships

First of all, I'm autistic, so a lot of scenarios I'll give you will come from my experiences because it's easier for me to feel empathy that way and explain a situation.

BLITZØ IN FULL MOON

People come into my DMs and want to rant with me about him. I get it. It seems he's an asshole.

And he IS.

Blitzø has multiple character traits which are trauma coded and boy what a can of worms that is. Most of them are really hard in your face, like the fact that he can't stand his own face in pictures.

Which comes from a deep rooted self hate, which comes up in self worth issues. Blitzø had his fair experience with drugs and alcohol , even drowned himself in last to get over his shitty experience with Stolas at Ozzie's.

I'm not saying he's suicidal, but Blitzø's biggest fear is, to die alone.

Because he KNOWS how he is. That makes him really self reflected. He knows how he behaves, he knows his own coping mechanisms.

That's why it's so easy to make him mad. He's mostly angry at himself in most situations, so it also happened in Full Moon. Blitzø uses anger to get things out of people, because most people react to anger, but he's not doing it to HURT people, it's the only way he knows how to get an reaction out of people.

The reaction HE wants. Since Blitzø has no self worth he has no clue WHY people should love him. So he shoves them away and keeps them at distance.

At the same time he CRAVES intimacy. And here's the conflict. Blitzø's love language is sex.

He feels the closest to people if he can be intimate with them. And yes, even in a weird "I fuck Chaz to be close to M&M" kind of way. He is krass with his talking about sex, he over shares, he LOVES to talk about sex.

Because he's good at it. And because it gets him close to people. If the show had more time I bet we would've seen Blitzø having multiple one night stands over the time. Yes, even with his arrangement with Stolas. Because there was sex before there were feelings. Definitely.

Shitty Parenting x Self Worth

Blitzø got sold by his own father as a play buddy for a rich kid. Yes the rich kid was Stolas and it was cute, but still, rich kid.

And we all have seen, that he wasn't good at what his father made him do in the circus but what Blitzø always had, was his pride. Also, he's very good at making things up as they go. Doing that damn horse balloon and making a joke about it, shows how he is capable of selling himself still as the best, even if it isn't so.

We don't know much about Tilla, but we know Blitzø definitely had a closer relationship to her then to his father.

I know we only have two concrete scenes which show what kind of an relationship Buckzo and his son had, but the "I wish you were my son" card for Fizz kinda draws us the picture here.

As a child who always had to compete with a sister which was highly gifted, this does something to you.

You try to be better, at any cost. Sounds familiar?

"I'll try to be better".

But what? In what will he try to be better? I think Blitzø doesn't even know at what he will try to be better, he just does not want to lose this. But what is this?

RELATIONSHIPS

IF Blitzø would have just cared about his business, he would've walked away with the crystal. Just like that. He would've said

"Thank Satan, I thought I would lose my business,thanks Stolas, it was nice as it lasted" and he would've been gone.

But he didn't. He listened to what Stolas said but he didn't LISTEN. Because it was confusing as fuck, even as The Audience just watching it was a LOT what was said and going from

"I'll let you go" to "I have feelings for you, please stay" in a second.

And of course Blitzø would not understand that. Because Stolas could not MEAN it. Because Stolas has servants who are Imps and he called him names, a plaything and if Blitzø is anything for Stolas, at first, he's a whore.

Blitzø sold his body for a service. For his business.

They could have made that arrangement about ANYTHING. Money, another hitman service, bodyguarding.

STOLAS made it about sex. The thing Blitzø knows, the one he CRAVES, the thing he is good at, besides killing people.

But the one thing Blitzø is not good at, are words and feelings. And Stolas had a lot of them, at once. And it felt not fair for Blitzø to be cornered like that, because he had no idea what was expected from him. And then he used the ONLY thing he knows, which always gets something out of people: Anger.

That's the words and feelings he knows.

And he got an reaction, but also had to deal with the consequences.

STOLAS AT FULL MOON

I love Stolas. But he he's living in a romance novel world and there's also, trauma.

Stolas first words I had imprinted in my mind were "I always thought love could be fun". He wished for a happy family his whole life and all he got was an abusive wife and a loveless marriage.

He is a dreamer. Someone who loves the small things and he is caring. He loves to indulge in fiction, he loves telenovelas because even if there's drama, there are relationships. Something he never had experienced.

Stolas is a soft soul. But he's repressed and depressed as fuck. And that's not only because of Stella, but his upbringing and the knowledge to live in a Golden Cage. But he never voices that he has problems with THAT.

See, Stolas is a prince, he grew up with servants, Imps mostly. In a palace. Even if he despises Stella's parties, I bet if he wouldn't be an outsider in his own race, he would be the one doing the parties himself. It would do him some good because Stolas is also, lonely.

While Blitzø lived in Circus tents and tried to proof himself, Stolas had to proof that he's worthy his title as a prince. Being married, the whole heir thing, his duties.

And then Blitzø appears out of fucking nowhere, seducing him (like in his novels!), staying with him the whole night (showing him he's obviously gay), showing him he can choose, that he HAS A CHANCE to be happy.

With Blitzø.

And then we see the duet and the second Stolas sings about how he wants this to go, I knew they will fuck up. Because Stolas had played out this scenario SO OFTEN in his head, that he has so many images of Blitzø in his head that he knows this will not work out good. He has hopes and dreams but in the end, the decision falls on Blitzø.

So we go to Full Moon and Blitzø reacts... poorly. He even mocks him. And then he starts screaming and shouting and guess who else was always shouting and screaming? Guess who told Stolas his whole marriage that he's not worth anything. That he's not worth of love, that he's a failure, that his head is in the clouds and mocked him about everything he loves.

Blitzøs only way to cope with too many feelings is anger, Stolas trauma is based on anger and rejection.

But Stolas reacted so FAST. He gave Blitzø the crystal and he told him that he gives him the offer to stay, because he has feelings for him (like in his novels!) and his hopes are so high and the second he does not get what he wants, what he needs, he snaps. He's disappointed. He's hurt.

Because he wants this so bad to work.

But it can't, because they're for now reading the same book, but they're so not on the same page.

Because, and now we're getting there, they have to deal with what was said.

TRAUMA AND RELATIONSHIPS

I'm married for ten years now. My wife and I met each other 20 years ago.

I was suicidal back then, I cut myself regularly, I was depressed and had an eating disorder.

But I had friends. And I had relationships. And I loved so so deeply.

And then I got together with my wife 11 years ago. I was freshly diagnosed with being autistic, my wife has ADHD.

She also has several PTSD triggers, I have childhood trauma from living with my Mom who's an alcoholic.

And yes, I am able to have an relationship. We love each other dearly, we care about each other. We learn from each other, daily.

We have bad days, but we are GOOD for each other.

Because you DESERVE TO BE LOVED, no matter what.

In the first place is always that you're responsible for yourself. You can't trauma dump on your partner in excessive ways because that's not healthy. BUT learning to share your experiences but still being responsible for yourself and your actions, is a whole different thing.

You can love and be loved, even at your lowest.

But you have to be aware that your partner is not your therapist and that communication in a relationship, in which both parties are mentally ill, is KEY.

You have to go to the same ground, you have to explain what are your boundaries, what are your triggers but you have also to accept that the other one is sometimes not able to deal with your package.

My wife and I, we communicate DAILY. We have totally different needs. We have totally different views and patterns to deal with things. But we love each other.

Because we respect each other's differences.

And that's the homework for Stolas and Blitzø. They don't have to TO GET BETTER, they have to grow and they have to listen, communicate instead of just dumping expectations at each other.

You can't expect someone to break a pattern that is carved by trauma, just because you tell them you love them. And you can't expect that someone's listening when you push all their triggers at once.

I'm really excited how this will go. It's heartbreaking but I guess now that everything is said, they can finally be honest, without all the trauma dumping and pushing buttons.

And as I said:

You're worth of love. You're worth to be loved and you can give love, even at your lowest. Your deserve love, even at your lowest. You ARE loved.

Thank you for reading! ✨ Gold Star for you!