#bestie cut off my wine so now i have to sleep instead

[each-uisge-enthusiast]

sometimes when i’m drunk i draw hot people

[goldemas1244]

Notes for one of my AUs

Zhask has been kidnapped by his ex. This is a different story. He is kept in a very cold cell (more like a hole tbh).

He waits everyday for Argus to come rescue him but Argus never comes. There's so much hope and the food he's given keeps him alive. Though his waist is bound to his chains, he tries to escape but fails because he has no power (stolen while he was kidnapped).

Zhask has been waiting for Argus for a while now. He has a manipulative ex-best friend who tells him Argus doesn't love him, he's abandoned him, that he'll (ex- bestie) always be there for him, etc.

"He's not coming for you, Zhask." "...Argus, I know he's wrong, I know you're coming for me."

"I don't know what to tell you Zhask, but he's probably given up by now." "Shut up yo-" "If you use that tone with me again Zhask, I'll cut off your rations." "..." "Anyways, I'll be here if you need me." (Zhask shuts up for the rest of the week.)

"Argus... where are you?"

"I'm sorry Zhask, but if he's coming for you then he would've been here by now." "No! You-You're wrong! He's just... probably having some trouble... is all...." "Well I don't know how to say this, but I don't think that's likely." "..." "I'm always here if you need me Zhask." (Zhask starts having second thoughts.)

(Zhask starts getting desperate. His anxious thoughts, once repressed by his magic, are overwhelming him. He's crying. Begging, screaming into the darkness in hopes that Argus is in some shadowy corner, just waiting to come and free him...)

"ARGUS WHERE ARE YOU?" "ARGUS PLEASE!" "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" "I'M SCARED!" "ARGUS WHERE ARE YOU!"

(A few days of crying and begging pass. Zhask now starts to believe the words of his old friend. Almost everyday he curls up the best he can with his chains and refuses to take his rations save the occasions when survival kicks in.)

(A few more days and Zhask's ex can see scratches on him. His face, his arms, even his neck. Still he manipulates Zhask with the same old lies. With the difference being Zhask's belief in them.)

Zhask eventually breaks, and, a few days after being defeated, is moved into a different room than the cold damp hole he was trapped in.

He is treated with the utmost kindness by his ex and goes to sleep on a cushiony surface instead of on his knees and cold hard stone.

Zhask's ex keeps his distance but they gradually grow closer day by day. And day by day they talk and Zhask, once a predator, is now prey.

Zhask accepts his invite for a drink one day, for old times' sake. They walk into a drinking room. The shelf is scattered with bottles of collections from all over the galaxy.

His ex (let's just call him that) pours him a shot of rose geranium wine (or the Kastiyan equivalent of it) and gives it to him. He pours himself a different kind of wine because he's extra like that.

So they cheers and they drink, reminiscing the past and how much time they used to spend with each other.

But Zhask suddenly feels bad.

He doubles over, falls on the floor, dry heaves, coughs up blood, all that angsty jazz.

It turns out he has been POISONED by a potent poison that a Kastiyan cannot antivenomize.

Zhask is spasming and is slowly dying. His ex pours another shot for himself whilst singing an old Kastiyan lullaby Zhask used to love. As he ends he walks out the door.

With one last look at Zhask, he smiles, turns off the lights and closes the door, leaving Zhask to die alone (ouch) in the dark.

It takes a while too. After the initial reaction his entire being is paralysed and he can only writhe in pain, blood, sweat, and tears as he feels his entire body slowly shut down over the course of three hours.

All his regrets, all his memories, everything comes back to him but the only thing his mind manages to stick on to is Argus. He replays the memories over and over in his head, from his laughs to his groans to his well-toned muscles.

Within five hours his last breath is exhaled and it's official: he's dead. Alone with only his memories of the one he loved the most guiding him through the process.

Fast forward a few days later and Argus finally comes. He came late because the portal was very hard to make and hindered by Zhask's ex's power.

Zhask's ex is no longer there, having taken Domorey and claiming control over Kastiya.

Argus wanders around the abandoned place until he sees the room Zhask was kept in (not the cell, mind you). He finds traces of Zhask and follows a trail into the drinking room.

He finds Zhask on the floor, a lifeless husk.

He was too late.

He falls to his knees and denies it. He denies it all.

But he was too late.

(His shaky hands reach for the corpse of the only other person he would ever love in his life. He touches the cold and roughened endoskeleton, completely devoid of the warmth it once emitted. Tears fall from his mask as he lifts and cradles the body, rocking himself.)

(Apologies stream out from his mouth. His grip tightens. He's forgetting to breathe.)

Argus brings Zhask to the room he was kept in and lays him down on the bed. He cleans Zhask up a little bit with his feathers and lays down next to him.

He pulls up the covers and holds Zhask, reliving the nightly talks they used to have. Only there was no response from Zhask. No hug, nor kiss, nor innuendo. Only silence in the dark bedroom.

Pulling Zhask closer to him in their final embrace, Argus gives him one last kiss on the cheek before willing his heartstrings to finally snap.

Tragic isn't it? Death of pining? But as the beginning, there's a continuation on this. Zhask's ex will not be visited by justice though a certain cyclops will murder him in his sleep. Prior to that however, and right after this, Argus will awaken with...

"Zhask?"

In a hedge maze reminiscent of the ones they used to love going through in the Land of Dawn, Argus awakens to find Zhask sitting crisscross-applesauce infront of him. Words will be exchanged.

Overall this story WILL have a happy ending. Their bodies WILL be found at rest and be put to funeral. They WILL spend eternity together forever. Because they did not take that "Until death do you part" oath. Because they will never part.

Also Rafaela's gonna be the first one to know about this. Because y'know she's an angel. Her brother's death is gonna shake her a lot. She leads the search for the bodies too. DEVOTED.

[clouds-rambles]

hello!~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)

thank u sm! :))

BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3

Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!

Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader

Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-

“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it

“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear

“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms

He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one. 

Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart

How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?

Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body

Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest

“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms

“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death

Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you

The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond

The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day

A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off. 

Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain

-

Diluc

No, not like this

You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different

Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply

“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends

“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own

“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood

“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life

Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind

A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body

She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again

Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.

Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience

Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable

Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned

Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones

Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad

He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon

-

Childe

You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body

“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return

“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare

But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping

“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest

“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.

You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you

Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep

Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer

Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms

The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit

Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes

Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him

If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one

They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie

-

Venti

He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.

He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more

Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-

He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking

A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost

Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard

He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop. 

Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.

Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.

Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality

Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell

News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning

Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern

It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.

Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you

Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-

Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there

He doesn’t want to lose again

It’s happened too much

[ncssian]

For the dvd commentary thingy if you wanted to do it maybe this section from family therapy? I love this work and this section so much.

“When we moved to Crescent City, he was my only friend, and I thought we liked each other. I thought we understood each other, but then he— ” she swung her glare around to Lucien, “was just using me to get to my sister.”

“That’s not—”

“This is Nesta’s turn to speak, Lucien,” Helen cut him off.

Nesta was talking to Lucien now. “The showing up at my house late with beer, hanging around with me all the time while your friends were out having a life— it was all so you could get closer to Elain, because she trusted anybody I liked and you knew it.”

Lucien’s mouth tightened. “That’s why you slept with my dad? Because I took Elain out on a date and you wanted revenge?”

“You forgot about me as soon as you had her. We were drifting apart long before I did anything with Helion, trust me.”

Lucien was quiet for a long time. “It’s true that I liked Elain from the day you all moved in down the street,” he finally said. “But she was never my friend the way you were. And just because I liked spending time with her doesn’t mean I didn’t like spending time with you. It’s comparing apples and oranges; I loved you both.”

Nesta blinked. “But you don’t anymore?”

omgg no one ever talks about family therapy i wasn’t prepared for this!!

i wrote this almost a year ago and it was very quickly done so let’s see how much of it i remember:

“When we moved to Crescent City, he was my only friend, and I thought we liked each other. I thought we understood each other, but then he— ” she swung her glare around to Lucien, “was just using me to get to my sister.” — the reason this fic exists is because i originally envisioned nesta and lucien being the funniest two people to get into a petty fight with, like lucien pouring his wine on nesta’s dress and nesta shoving him into a cake is so…sibling energy. but obviously they needed a reason to be fighting and their one shared thread in canon is elain, so i wrote that into the CC AU too. it would have made perfect sense if nesta was upset with elain’s new boyfriend stopping her from spending time with her fave sister, but i sort of twisted it and made lucien and nesta besties instead. so now the reason they’re fighting is because nesta feels abandoned by lucien, who she’s been close with since she was a teen. i still believe that canon lucien would get along with nesta better than most people.

“This is Nesta’s turn to speak, Lucien,” Helen cut him off. — do u know how hard it is for me to come up with a basic white woman name every time nesta wants to get a therapist in my fics. lana from A Favor was originally called sarah before i realized that’s s/j/m’s name.

Nesta was talking to Lucien now. “The showing up at my house late with beer, hanging around with me all the time while your friends were out having a life— it was all so you could get closer to Elain, because she trusted anybody I liked and you knew it.” — can u tell they’re basically ruhn and bryce. the one difference is that i made lucien close to nesta’s age in this au so it wouldn’t be weird that he was hanging out with her while she was a teen. also the whole childhood neighbors/friends thing is so cute on them.

Lucien’s mouth tightened. “That’s why you slept with my dad? Because I took Elain out on a date and you wanted revenge?”… “You forgot about me as soon as you had her. We were drifting apart long before I did anything with Helion, trust me.” — in my previous CC AU, girlboss nesta mentions that she has a little black book of powerful contacts that she accrued mostly by sleeping with said contacts. helion was obviously always included in that black book, but once i brought lucien into the mix i thought it would be a lot funnier if she slept with helion out of pettiness instead of to gain power. still, it’s a harsh move 😬

Lucien was quiet for a long time. “It’s true that I liked Elain from the day you all moved in down the street,” he finally said. “But she was never my friend the way you were. And just because I liked spending time with her doesn’t mean I didn’t like spending time with you. It’s comparing apples and oranges; I loved you both.” —this whole fic was supposed to be for shits and giggles but it unintentionally got serious here. and i was like damn where is all this coming nesta and lucien dont even talk to each other in canon 😭 (but also im kind of proud of this dialogue)

Nesta blinked. “But you don’t anymore?” —this is the only reasonable reaction to have when someone says they “loved” you

***

anyway that’s it thank u sm for this ask because it was a lot of fun to do!! <3

[elianamarie-blog]

Hey bestie! could i get a ship for that 70s show?

i’m a 5’6 nonbinary (she/they) with short hair and curtain bangs my hair colour is done to look like narcissa malfoys (dark brown with platinum blonde on the underside). I have blue/grey eyes.

i’m an INFP, Ravenclaw, and a Taurus. My hobbies are making music, and playing pranks on my sister lol. I love marvel, harry potter, and criminal minds.

ive been told i’m very cocky and my ego is through the roof. I’d consider myself a very kind person who’s easy to talk to. i like to joke around a lot with my friends and sarcasm is my first language,

My aesthetic conveniently is very 70s/vintage, and my music taste is also a lot of throwbacks.

what i want to do when i’m older is forensic psychology!

hope you get to mine but if not that’s fine! Love your writing!

-M

Thank you bestie! You sound like an amazing, interesting person! (And gorgeous too) I got you! And thank you SO much for reading my content. You, are amazing <3 

Who’s Up For A Challenge?

Michael Kelso x reader

-Y/n L/n was new in town and found enjoyment in messing with the players of the town.

-She was known as “that chick”

-She was incredibly witty, sarcastic, cocky, but so kind and beautiful.

-She may have accidentally had a couple of good guys fall in love with her.

-She had to gently turn them down and that actually broke her heart.

-She loved a good challenge though.

-She was sitting in the Hub with her college lab partner, Donna, when the none other than himself, Michael Kelso, walked in.

-Y/n had heard about him.

-The infamous Michael Kelso. Playboy of Point Place.

-Donna called him over and as he sat down, he noticed her.

-Of course, he had to hit on her.

-When he asked her out, she, of course said yes.

- “Alright, I’ll be here to pick you up tonight.”

-Y/n smiled as he walked away.

-As Donna leaned in and started to warn Y/n about him, Y/n cut her off.

- “I know.”

- “You know?”

- “Yes. I’ve heard of this dillhole and I’ve got a plan.”

-Donna was intrigued as Y/n started unraveling her plan. 

- “I’m going to make him fall in love with me. Then I’m going to break his heart and make him feel what he makes every girl here feel.”

-Donna wasn’t so into it, but knew she couldn’t stop her.

-So, Y/n went through with the plan and met up with Kelso that night.

-He got her a burger from Fatso Burger and took her to Mt. Hump.

-He started kissing her neck and making out with her.

-She knew she was good at sex and everything else.

-But she refused to give it to him on the first date.

-She was a classy person after all.

-Kelso had set up a challenge to get in the sack.

-She already knew that though, because well duh.

-She ended up befriending Donna and Jackie over it.

-Jackie was thrilled and squealing.

- “Finally, he’s going to feel the hell that he put me through,” Jackie said.

- “You scare me,” Donna said. “Besides, you’re with Hyde now. It shouldn’t matter.”

- “Oh, whatever. Revenge is dish best served cold.”

- Y/n laughed and threw an arm over Jackie’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, girl. I got you. I’m going to drag him through the mud and then hang him out to dry.”

- “Oh, I love you!” Jackie squeaked and hugged Y/n tightly.

- “Okay, now you both scare me,” Donna said.

-Donna tried to warn Kelso, but of course he didn’t listen to her.

-He just took it as her being jealous that he wasn’t going to nail her.

-Even though she was back with Eric.

-Kelso this time took Y/n to a drive in and bought her the classic: popcorn and a coke.

-Y/n was down to date 2 out of 10.

-He started kissing her again, softer, gentler, but started getting handsy again.

-Y/n smacked his hand away multiple times before he finally up.

- “Well, damn, Y/n!” he cried out, shaking his hand. 

- “Keep your hands to yourself, lover boy,” she threatened.

- “Yeah, or what?” he challenged.

- “Trust me, you don’t want to challenge me.”

- “Maybe I do.”

- “Trust me, sweetie, you don’t. I can snap you in half.”

-His eyes lit up. “You must be hot in the sack!”

-Y/n couldn’t help but laugh. “Take me home, you jerk.”

- He chuckled. “Yes, dear.”

-When he dropped her off, she turned to him. “Pick me up Friday for dinner at 8pm.”

- Kelso nodded and smiled at her.

-Eric, Hyde, and Fez caught onto the challenge and decided to make it a bet.

-Hyde said Kelso would make a fool out of himself and end up being dumped.

-Eric said Kelso would actually score.

-Fez said he just wanted to be part of the action and said Y/n would win.

-Doesn’t mean Hyde didn’t try to sabotage the bet by giving Kelso wrong information.

-For example, he told him to pick up Y/n late instead of on time because it shows that he’s desperate and clingy.

-Which is what the idiot did.

-Y/n was NOT pleased.

-She made him buy her lobster and flowers.

-At the end of the night she ended up giving him a hot make out sesh, but left him to take care of himself.

-Date 3 out of 10 down.

-Now, Eric was trying to sabotage the bet by giving Kelso tips how to get laid.

-Which Kelso laughed at until Donna spoke up.

- “You got to invoke her mind, man,” Eric said. “People like her like to be intellectually challenged.”

- “Yeah right,” Michael scoffed.

- “No, Eric is actually right for once,” Donna said, bored. “Y/n isn’t like the other girls in this town. She actually has a brain.”

- “And some nice jugs,” Fez said earning a glare from the group.

- “Try talking to her about literature and psychology and music. She likes that kind of stuff. And leave out any kinds of ‘doing it.’ Intelligent people like her don’t like that.”

- “But I wanna do it.”

- “I know, but you got to make her think you want her mind, not her body.”

- “Yeah, that’s a good idea!” Kelso said and ran out the door to spontaneously surprised Y/n at her house with flowers and a...book.

- “Donna, what the hell are you doing?” Hyde asked.

- “I know, I’m such a bad friend to her,” Donna said. “I’m going to hell.”

- “No, not that. I’m trying to get her to dump him for being stupid. Don’t give the guy pointers!”

-Kelso showed up at Y/n’s door with a picnic basket, a blanket, flowers, and a gift.

-She was definitely surprised.

-He found the perfect spot under the tree and laid out the blanket. 

- “I got you something” he said and gave her a gift sloppily wrapped in paper. 

-She opened it up and it was a vintage psychology book from the late 1800′s.

-She was genuinely impressed. “Where did you find this?”

-Well, I heard you talking about your love of psychology and vintage things and found this at an antique store. Thought you’d might like it.”

-Her eyes actually filled with tears.

-Even thought it was their fourth date, she felt touched by the gift and allowed 2nd base.

-The next few dates ended going the same flow. 

-He’d take her out, hoping for sex, she would tease him and then leave him to take care of himself.

-By their 7th date, he was beginning to grow frustrated.

-So, far Fez was winning the bet.

-On the eighth date, Y/n introduced Michael to her parents.

-They were spectacle, but polite to him nonetheless.

-Eighth date consisted of the carnival.

-As the lights shown down on y/n’s beautiful face, he realized he might actually feelings for her.

-Y/n knew she started developing feelings for him after the fourth date, but she refused to say anything. It was just a reaction to the sweet gift.

-Even though she knew he had a kid with another woman, it didn’t stop her from feeling the way she did.

-He won her a stuffed elephant, a goldfish, and bought her a hotdog.

-Back in the car, they were making out again. “I think I really like you.”

-She smiled into the kiss. “I like you too, but you’re still not getting any.”

- “That’s okay,” he whispered, shocking both of them.

-He ended up panicking to the guys later on that night.

- “So? Just go bang the next chick you see. You did that to Jackie a lot when she didn’t want to sleep with you,” Hyde said.

- “That’s the problem. I can’t,” Kelso said and ran a hand through his hair. “I tried but every time I went to, I just couldn’t find myself to do it. They’re not her, man.”

-The guys gave him crap and started taunting him.

- “You love her!” Fez said and tried to make kissy faces with Eric.

- “Yeah, we don’t do that,” Eric said, pushing Fez’s face away from his.

- “What’re you going to do?” Hyde asked seriously.

- “Just...try to make her mine at this point.”

-On the ninth date, Y/n was freaking out.

-How could she have fallen for him?

-She’s never felt this way after messing with a guy like this.

-Why?

-Why?

-WHY?!

-Stupid, stupid, stupid--

-The doorbell rang.

-He stood there with a dozen red roses.

- “I got something special,” he said.

-He ended up taking her to the lake with a complete romantic dinner.

-Candles, wine, chocolates, and pasta that he had help from mom make.

-Y/n’s eyes pricked with tears.

-No one has ever done this for her before.

-Throughout the evening, he had actually engaged in intelligent conversation and opened up to her.

-He talked about his hopes and dreams, his fears, and his loves.

- “People don’t give you enough credit,” she said. “You have a lot going for you. You just don’t show this side to people. Why?”

- He shrugged. “It’s funnier this way. I don’t want them knowing this side of me, Then they’ll start...expecting stuff from me and I don’t want that pressure.”

- “Well, you’re secret is safe with me,” she said, taking a sip of wine.

- “Well, come on, you have a lot more going for you. You want to be a forensic psychologist. That’s awesome, whatever that is.”

-Y/n chuckled and explained it to him while he actually listened to her!

-She actually changed the playboy of the town!

-Y/n wasn’t sure if it was the wine, but she couldn’t take it anymore and brought him for a hasty kiss. “I want to go all the way with you tonight.”

-At this point, she didn’t care if he broke her heart, she just needed him before he could.

-The moment was actually beautiful.

-He was so gentle and and sweet, making sure she was actually okay with it.

-And it was the best sex either one of them ever had.

-As they laid down in the back of the car, they confessed they ended up confessing their feelings towards each other, including the plans they each had for each other.

- “I’ve never felt this way towards anyone before,” y/n said. “This really bit me in the ass this time.”

- “I’ve never felt this way before period,” he chuckled. “I guess it bit me in the ass too.”

- “Are we dumb for doing this?” she whispered.

- “Totally.”

-They laughed together and ended up doing it again the second time that night.

-On their tenth date, he took her to the carnival again, but he had something more special planned.

-He took her to the top of the Ferris wheel and when it got to the top, he grabbed her hand and nervously asked her if she’d officially be his.

-She grinned at him brightly and nodded yes.

- “Great, now I can give you this,” he said and took off his hoodie that he was wearing. “You’re my girl now and I want you to have it. It’s my favorite hoodie.”

-She kissed him deeply and put it on.

-She wore it everyday from then on.

-One day she was over at the Forman’s and while they were waiting for everyone to join them, they started making out on the couch.

-The door opened, revealing Hyde, Eric, and Fez.

- “DAMMIT!” Hyde shouted.

- Fez laughed. “Pay up!”

- “Wait,” Eric asked. “Did you guys do it yet?”

- Kelso smiled. “Totally.”

-Eric turned to Hyde with his palm turned upwards. “Pay up, bitch.”

- “What’s that not fair!” he bitched.

- “Oh, it totally is,” Fez laughed.

- “No, I’ll tell you what’s not fair. Michael didn’t get hurt like he was supposed to!” Jackie said.

- “No, he got something better,” Donna said. “True love! And someone to kick his ass into shape.”

- “A matchmade in Heaven,” Fez joked while Hyde handed him his cash. “Thank you Hyde.”

- “Yeah, shut up.”

[g0ldengubler]

Chapter 10 ~ Strawberry Avalanche

A/N: AAAAAAA hey besties i'm baaaaaack! honestly, i lost all motivation for a couple of months, especially because wattpad is getting censored. i was scared that this story was going to be taken down, but now i've decided to keep going. Thankfully, this series is also on here so if nauseous is taken down on wattpad it will be here safe and sound. Also shortening chapters has been a nice thought. I'm sorry this one sucks i'm kinda rusty and this is more of a filler/catch up, but we're back at it again boizzz! Also, thank you so much for over 900 followers! Really really crazy but i'm so glad you guys are enjoying my fics. And I'm really glad everyone enjoyed lunchtime! I didn't think it would get that much love as I thought that kink wasn't something others would be into so I am planning on writing more one shots with other kinks I have. Things are just about to get good in nauseous...ok anyways i love uuuuuu <3

Category: Angst (??...yeah sure we'll go with that lol)

CW: Talks of cases; talks of murder

Summary: It's time to go back to work, and oh boy are they in for a "treat"

Word Count: 1817

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time your alarm rang, you quote Cinderella at it, groggily saying, "Oh, that clock. Old killjoy." You hate waking up early, as sleep was such a beautiful thing in your book. When you were asleep, you were at peace, as if everything that had happened that day whether good or bad just went away. You were free in your dreams, running around like a child in a field of lavender. You had that dream here and there before you met Spencer. When the feelings for him grew over the course of a week, you started getting that dream frequently instead of waking up thinking you didn't dream or remembering a weird one. He would show up as a shadowy figure on the other side of the field and you would run over to it until you woke up once the figure turned around.

After you two made it official, the blur of the figure disappeared and turned into him. You would run as if it was the speed of light towards him, and he would turn around in a lilac colored cardigan, barely hiding the huge grin on his face. Spencer would pick you up around your waist and lift you up as he spun you around. Right before you kissed, however, you woke up. You were into the meaning of dreams, so you thought that at the right time, the kiss would happen.

As you got ready for the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the past month. You remember meeting Spencer and how your heart skipped a beat when your eyes first met in the conference room. You remember getting drunk and high with the team and how your boss was pretty much the life of the party without really meaning to. You laughed to yourself as the thought of Spencer high on edibles at Rossi's came in. He ate a whole brownie before Garcia could give a warning and once it kicked in it was hard not to laugh at his goofiness as he would only talk about Star Trek the whole night. He could've had the whole pot of spaghetti his munchies were so bad.

Garcia crept into your brain again as you got in your car. That night, instead of Spencer coming in to clean you up, it was Garcia.

With a wet washcloth in hand, she stood by the door and saw you on her bed, the laughter and voices echoing down the hall and into the room. You tried to cover yourself but she waved her hand away.

"Sugar cakes, don't worry about it," she said, walking over and sitting in front of you on the side of the bed. In a comforting way, she put a hand on your leg, rubbing it gently, "I'd be mad if it was other people on my bed going at it like rabbits. But you two? I don't seem to feel any steam coming out of my ears."

"Are you sure?" You asked, embarrassed, "I'm so sorry, Garcia."

"I'm just thankful that boy genius got laid."

The two of you laughed as she handed you the cloth. You took it and began cleaning yourself up, trying to clean what fell out onto the bed. Once you were done, Garcia gave you some advil and some water as you gave her the cloth back.

"Are you feeling ok, hun?" She asked as you were sipping on your water.

"Yeah, just a bit sore but nothing I can't handle." You hand her the glass of water back and fixed your pillows so they'd help you sit up.

"Reid is a very kind and respectful guy, Y/N," she said as she softly rubbed your leg, "I've known him since Gideon brought him on the team, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I see that in him," you said, "When he's not ruining me he's a total sweetheart and always open to trying new things if he wants to. He's really special to me, Penelope. I've never met someone like him. He's probably the first guy to want me for everything else, like the sex is just a bonus. Men back home were never like that."

Garcia smiled as she got up, looking down at you before leaning down and kissing the top of your head. "I'm glad you're here, Y/N. You've been the last missing puzzle piece for our team since you first walked in the conference room." Then she left, probably to let you rest.

You were still for a few minutes before you decided to try and get up. Once you were able to stand, you walked slowly out of the bedroom and back to the living room, which felt like it took you years to get to. You saw Spencer sitting on the couch next to Morgan, taking a joint from his hands. You watch as he put it to his lips and inhaled, holding it in for a sec before exhaling a big cloud out. He coughed before taking it back to his lips and took a couple more, handing it over to Jj.

As you parked in the parking garage, you remembered the butterflies you felt when his eyes caught yours. Morgan had got up and helped you walk to the couch, where you lay down with your legs on Spencer's lap. That night was so magical, but now you're back to work, dreading the amount of files that would be piled on your desk.

When you got out of the elevator to the 6th floor, you walked in the bulpin thinking you'd see Spencer at his desk, but your smile faded when you didn't. You looked around the room until you turned all the way around to the conference room, seeing all your friends in the window. You quickly-but calmly-walked up the ramp and into the room with a smile on your face, yet it went away again once you felt the room, seeing all their stern or worried faces.

"Y/L/N," said Hotch, "please take a seat."

"Is everything alright?" You ask as you sit next to Spencer. He locks his arm around yours and takes your hand in his, kissing it, knowing it was a way of his to comfort you.

Hotch was silent for a moment before he spoke. "While we were on our vacation, new cases have come to us. These cases were ones we had already solved, however."

No one spoke as he explained the two copycat cases. One was based from The Fox, a case they solved years ago, but it wasn't exact. The fox was more known for killing big families but this copycat killed small families, ones with only children. The other was one you knew all too well. A few years ago, couples were left in trunks of cars, all cut up and stabbed. You studied this case when it happened, and wrote an outstanding paper on it for class.

"We now have a copycat on our hands. This investigation will be going along while we also work on other cases. If needed, protection will be put for our loved ones. That is all. So far there hasn't been one to go to, but myself and Jj will let you know if one comes in."

With that, we all slowly walked back to your desks. Thankfully, yours was right in front of Spencer's. A part of you felt safe no matter what scenery you were in. But you still felt worried. With not being on the team for much time, you were scared for your friends. Stuff like this was part of the job, but that didn't mean you couldn't be human.

One thing was lingering in your mind the whole day...Was there a deeper connection between the two copycat cases?

~~~

Later that night, you finished your work for the day and headed home. Both you and Spencer felt too tired to do something, so you both went your separate ways. When you got home, you threw your bag and keys to a chair and fell on your couch as your dogs attacked you with love and kisses. Taking your boots off, you took your phone out and looked through your delivery apps to see if anything sounded good, but you didn't feel that hungry as you saw all the delicious options.

Remembering you had some wine on the counter, you got up and poured yourself a glass. You got changed into crewneck sweater and sweatpants that had U of M written all over it. Putting your hair up in a high ponytail, you made your way back to the couch and went through your phone, catching up on text messages from your dad, looking through memes and videos.

After a bit of time has passed, you were on your third glass and were feeling very tipsy. You turned on your speaker and went through your the music on shuffle before stumbling upon a song from high school, Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City. You hadn't listen to it or his music in years, so you decided to keep it on for old times sake. As the song got to the chorus, you felt your tipsy brain taking over, getting up from the couch and dancing along. Your furry friends-as Garcia would say-joined you as you picked up Draco's paws and gently brought him up on his back legs, while Benedict barked and went around in little circles, his eyes never leaving you.

You went to sleep after your dance party, wanting the comfort of your own bed rather than the less comfortable couch. As your children climbed on and settled down, you tried to drift off right away, wanting to go back to your dream, but you couldn't stop thinking about the deeper connection between the two cases. That feeling was bothering you beyond belief, as if it was on the tip of your tongue or right under your nose. 'They're not just copycats,' you thought, 'so then what's the other connection, if there is one?'

You sat up, letting your pillows support your back. You grabbed your notebook from the side table and pen and started writing down what you remembered from what Hotch said. They are copycats from two they have already solved. One in Detroit, the other in their own backyard. It couldn't of been anniversaries because they didn't happen on their exact days, but it could be revenge on the team.

You went deeper into the cases to feel an epiphany run through your whole body. The Fox copy killed smaller families, but the wife was left last. And in the Detroit copy, it was only straight couples and the women were stabbed the most.

This unsub was going after girlfriends and wives.

[marsupials-of-mars]

Night Terrors

Part three of my Dreams/Nightmares series (Dreams came first, then Nightmares, now this much later), because once Remus was revealed it was clear he should have totally been nightmares instead of Virgil but I worked him in anyway!

Contrary to Roman and Virgils nights with Thomas, Remus generally didn't talk much. Suprising really, considering his personality, but the videos they watched together had some auditory stimulus that he didn't dare interrupt. So he just enjoyed himself, lending his presence. He loved his Thomas nights, a full night to be good and nasty and Remus it up, loosen up after a long day, for Thomas to tire himself out for a good nights rest. A night all to himself and Thomas, what could be more fun?

But as all good things must come to an end, so too did his contributions. Thomas was tired, and that meant off went the explicit content, onto it's charger, and under the pillow. Remus whined. Sleep. What was it good for anyway? Just to waste time. He sank back into Thomas's subconscious and sulked over to the basement door. He yanked it open and practically oozed down the staircase. He didn't want to sleep that night. Sleep was boring, he wasn't even tired! He wasn't...

His eyes lit up at the realization. When a side wasn't tired it meant... Remus scrambled back up the stairs on all fours, bursting out the stairwell and into the hallway. And now that he was facing the right direction, it was clear as day. A black and hot pink door. Remus squealed.

Aint no rest for the wicked.

He skipped down the hall, overwhelmed with excitement. He didn't care much for the guy really, but he sure loved the work. He popped his knuckles, dagger-like claws bursting from his fingertips. He would have toyed with his coworker a bit but he didn't feel like wasting any time that night. He gouged his claws into the wood of the door, dragging them down its length with a terrible, grating noise.

"UP AND AT EM BEAUTYSLEEP, WAKEY WAKEY!" He pressed his ear to the door. Silence... but he could smell the fear.

"Okay, rude, I was willing to be polite but here goes." He sent his tentacles about the doorframe, their boneless, mucus-soaked nature letting them slip through the cracks and around the door in its entirety, effortlessly ripping it off its hinges. "See!? See what I gotta do when you bully me?" He waved the door around above his head before chucking it aside and retracting his slimy extremities back into his person. He locked eyes with a face of absolute horror and disgust, apparent even through the sunglasses. "Well I won't hold it too much against you Remy... after all, we're still NAME TWINS!" He finished in a singsong voice and fell into his host's arms.

"EW!" Remy gasped. He dropped him and quickly retreated backward until he was pressed against a wall. "Bitch, you will not TOUCH me, you will not SPEAK to me! WHY do I still not get some warning when one of you are coming?!" He hovered his contaminated arms far away from the rest of his body.

"Hey, I warned you! Warned you not to piss me off!" Remus giggled from his spot on the floor. "Cmon, you love me!"

"I don't! I really don't, I'd appreciate if you jumped in a lake! It'd at least be some sort of bath, you heathen." He sneered and whipped out a portable hand sanitizer. He started slathering his forearms extremely thoroughly.

"Aww, 'heathen'? You flatter me..." Remus brought his hands to his face as he blushed a warm shade of puke green.

"Whatever. WHATEVER. Get the job done and get OUT." Remy massaged his temples. He seemed to be going out of his way not to look in Remus's direction. It filled Remus's stomach with delighted butterflies. Maybe moths... mosquitoes? Mosquitoes sounded right.

"But REM!" Remus whined. "Last time Virgil was in here he left all pretty with face paint and claws-"

"Makeup and acrylics. Because we had a bonding moment. Acrylics are EARNED." He took a sip of his coffee. With a second thought he mumbled around the straw: "And don't call me Rem."

"Pleeease? Please with something hairy on top? I'll make it worth your while..." He bit his lip and winked. Remy nearly spit up his coffee.

"You need to CHILL."

"But I CAN'T! The only thing that could ever quell my madness is claws and facepaint! But alas..." Remus sighed dramatically and brought the back of his hand to his forehead. "You couldn't possibly provide such things..." He opened one eye and grinned when Remy groaned.

"Fine. FINE. But we're watching what I want." He grudgingly dragged his feet over to a cabinet by the TV and pulled out a makeup bag and a bin of nail supplies. "Wasting my best stuff on you..." He mumbled to himself at a volume that made it difficult for Remus to believe that he wasn't supposed to hear. Remus squealed and leapt onto the couch, giddy to be included, even more giddy that it was a grudging inclusion.

He was suddenly hit in the face with a container of wet wipes.

"I'm not touching your hands until you get that grime off, I'm not catching any diseases tonight." Remy pulled out a binder from a bin under the coffee table. The wipes quickly turned various shades of brown as Remus scrubbed his hands, but his attention was elsewhere, peering over Remy's shoulder.

"Whatcha got?"

Remy placed the binder gingerly on his lap. "Ideas."

As soon as Remus got a good look at it, he recognized his brother's calligraphy. He scrunched his nose. "So you and the Quest for Camel-snot are real besties aren'tcha?"

He knew that Roman had work with Remy too, but in the moment it kinda stung. He got the lights, did he really need the extras too? But Remus didn't really want Sleep, not his type. So it was fine, right?

"My closest girlfriend, bitch numero uno. He's a genius, really. Full binders of inspiration for every one of you." He flipped through the binder, double tabs color coordinated to each side, nails and makeup. Profiles and front views of each side's face in Roman's swoopy, perfect art style, graphite with oil pastel for color. Remus craned his neck to see.

"You're at the back. He has a lot of ideas for you, he talks about them a lot. Never gets around to drawing them up though, pretty sure it's personal. Gets uncomfortable drawing your face."

Remus ignored that last piece of commentary.

"Don't care, show me what he DID put in there! Probably awful, I could do better..."

Remy flipped to the green-tabbed page. There were three pages in the Remus section, contrasted against the five or more for every other side. But Remus wasn't focused on that. He was focused on the drawing: The palette was dark but bold, dark greens, black, metalics and greys. The look was extremely busy with intense, full mascara, black lipstick dusted with metallic green, tentacles curling from the eye flaring in the direction of the lashes and writhing down the side of the face. He was even crazy enough to scatter black rhinestones and silver glitter about, seemingly at random but somehow in just the right places. Remus stared at the drawing in awe. It entirely fit his aesthetic, minus the grime. The drawing still didn't quite look like him, though, and it broke Remus out of his trance to laugh out loud as he realized why. Roman had deliberately refused to draw in the mustache.

"What?" Remy squinted at him.

"He's so petty!" Remus conjured a pencil and scratched on some glorious facial hair in some frustratingly wobbly lines compared to Roman's. "There! There's my guy!" Remy grabbed the binder and clapped it shut.

"Ugh, you ruined it!" He opened the page back up and pouted.

"It's better now! Whatever, just fuck me up!" He sat up and closed his eyes, ready for beautification. He felt a wet wipe instead, though it wasn't like he was caught of gaurd by a sudden cold dampness to the face. "What are you doing?"

"You're so oily, if I tried to apply anything it'd roll right off like water on duck feathers. You owe an apology to your pores hun... and a shower."

"Nah I'd rather you keep with the wiping. Feels nice and sensual." He felt the scrubbing grow more hesitant and heard a quiet but exasperated sigh.

"Tell you what, if you can keep your feral little mouth shut for the next ten minutes I'll let you at the expired wine. It's real vinegary."

"Ooh!" Remus mimed zipping his lips and flicking away the key. Remy seemed suprised that his deal worked.

They sat in relative silence for a while, save for Remy's instructions for Remus to tilt his head one way or another, and the scrapes and clinks of makeup containers on the coffee table.

"Aaand...done!" Remy sat back and surveyed his work. Remus blinked.

"Wait I can't... I can't see..." His eyes rolled back in his head as he tried to look at his own face. Remy rolled his eyes.

"Cut it out, I've got a mirro-" Before he could reach under the coffee table, Remus had already plunged his fingers into his own eye sockets and torn his eyes from their nerves.

"HOLY SHIT-" Remy threw up in his mouth but managed to hold it back. Remus turned his eyes to look back at his face.

"Ooo well done! Though the eyes are a little smudged."

"Because you just mutilated your mascara with your fat knuckles you ANIMAL!" Remy grabbed Remus's wrist and pushed it back toward his face. "Back! Back in!"

Remus groaned and popped his eyes back in. He blinked rapidly as they resituated their orientation in his skull.

"I didn't even bleed, cmon, I'm being respectful of your work."

"Whatever, just sit still..." Remy pinned his shoulder to the couch and kept his legs down with a knee. He blended out some smudged eye shadow and reapplied the mascara. "There." He fell back onto the couch and massaged his eyes. "Now grab us some wine so I can make it through the rest of the night. Right of the fridge, top shelf."

Remus hopped up from the couch and twirled over to the cabinet. He found the bottle that had clearly been re-corked among the vast array and popped it open with his teeth. He waved it under his nose. Vinegar. He called over his shoulder; "You said I could have all the expired stuff?!"

"What else would I do with it? Grab me something."

Remus re-corked the bottle. He grabbed another bottle of red and a single wine glass and ran back to the couch. He cannonballed into the cushions with enough force to make Remy yelp and send out his arms to stabilize himself.

"Claws now!" He clapped his hands. Remy held up a finger.

"Just a sec, hon." He opened the fresh bottle and filled his glass. And kept filling. And kept filling. He tipped the bottle back just as he reached the brim. He took the glass gracefully and downed it in a single tilt. He let out a sigh of relief. "Mkay. Claws."

The next two hours were occupied with messy, drunk acrylic construction, trash reality TV, and half coherent conversations about either the meaning of life or over which two patent moms would get in a fistfight first based on their initial introductions. Remus could half remember Remy crying at some point over how bad the nails looked and how he was losing his gift, and another point where he ranted about how the other nail techs of the world better "step the fuck up or drop dead" at his sheer talent.

Remus began to come to, though barely. He pawed at Remy's shoulder. "Rem, Remmington, up up up! Got night terrors to make!"

Remy rolled over. His lips were smudged with black and metallic green. Remus didn't say anything, though silently cursed himself for having blacked out through that part.

"Hm? Nah bitch, you're on your own. Scary shit, not my cup of tea."

"You've got the assets!" Remus snorted at the word. "Yknow, the characters and stuff."

Remy groaned for a long time. "Fiiine." He rolled off the couch and followed Remus to the recording room. Remus attempted a cartwheel but fell over halfway through. He made it into the room at least. Remy snorted.

"GIRL! You're WORTHLESS!" He pulled a giggling Remus to his feet.

"Yeah..." Remus bounced from foot to foot. "Gimme!"

"Hold on a sec!" Remy yanked open a file cabinet and pulled out a handful of folders. "First choice..." He hiccuped. "Classic spiders."

"Cmon Rem, what kind of creativity would I be to keep using spiders every time?"

Remy thought. "A bad one?"

"Correct!" He reached into the folder and pulled out a spider. With a tap of his fingers he multiplied them into the thousands. "Next!"

Remy pulled out the next. "Sharks."

"Nah, that's just a sharp fish. Something GROSS, something WEIRD. Next!"

"Ummm...Thomas saw a dead mouse the other day. Part of it's belly smushed open."

"ZOMBIE! RATS!" Remus grabbed the mouse and threw it on the ground, instantly multiplying it into a writhing pile of the living dead, which quickly dispersed through the blackness, some eating spiders and the others being eaten by spiders. It was quite the beautiful display of the circle of life, but Remus wasn't thinking about that as much as he was thinking about how awesomely disgusting it was.

"MORE! Characters!"

"Mom! Fitness trainer! Mark from Rent! Moana!" Remy read off folder titles.

"All of them! To be CONSUMED BY THE ZOMBIE RATS!!!" He dumped the folders into the swarm of arachnid and gorey fur. Remy began to squint and avert his eyes. No matter how drunk, there was only so much he could take. "Last part! Setting!"

"We've got... woods behind our old elementary school, the underworld from the first Percy Jackson movie, and the church basement!"

"When presented with some form of hell, hell it is!" Remus grabbed the underworld folder and opened it to surround them with sweet sweet fire and the wails of the damned.

"Okay! Let's go!" He grabbed Remy's shoulder. He rewound the terror and hit play from the beginning before pulling Remy out the door. He slammed it behind them. Remy, who was just coming to, winced.

"You know you could have made the whole thing while it was paused?"

"What's the fun in that?"

Remy huffed. "Well, we're done. You can finally get out of my room.

"Do you really WANT me to though...?" Remus wiggled his eyebrows and nudged Remy with his elbow.

"Yeah. I REALLY want you to."

Remus gasped in offense. "Fine. Be that way. I had fun."

Remy rolled his eyes. "Well once I got drunk you weren't as bad. Take that as you will."

"I'll internalize that as a confession of your deep sexual attraction to me."

"Please don't."

"Too late!"

Remy grabbed Remus's shoulder and spun him towards the door.

"Just get out."

Remus snorted and made his way to the door. He stopped and turned back. "You might want to get your door fixed by the way. I don't want to alarm you," He put his hand to the side of his mouth and whispered. "But I think some idiot broke it."

Remy gestured for him to shoo. "Yeah. I'll look into it."

Remus grinned. He looked down at his acrylics for nearly the first time. They were wobbly and awful and sharp, like twisted daggers. Not what the sketchbook recommended, but better than Roman could have come up with anyway. He looked back up at Remy.

"Great. Bye name twin!"

"Good riddance."

[tabithacarlisle]

*OFF THE RECORD Pairing: Maxwell x Tabitha (TRR MC) | (Liam x Tabitha & Drake x Liam are mentioned)

Word Count: 4392 (pour yourself a drink and settle in ;)

Warnings: 18+ NS*W, 🍋, marital angst, smut, extramarital affairs, pregnancy, swearing

bonus warning: this is my first fic in a long, long time! It’s probably super messy, but this story has been bouncing around in my head ever since I first read TRR Book 3’s Vegas Fling with Maxwell & it blew my mind!! ;) Glad to finally put it out there in print. 

*OFF THE RECORD PREQUEL  <<< click here!*

*Author’s Note: any time you see text underlined, it’s a link to screenshots from Pixelberry’s Choices TRR scenes, or other chapters referenced from *OTR- click them!! :) Notes: Pixelberry Studios owns these characters, not me! I just have fun playing with them :) Also a short snippet of dialogue quoted from Choices TRR 3 Chapter 16 “What Happens in Vegas...” is used as a flashback. This chapter takes place about 4 months after the Royal Wedding in TRR Book 3 Off The Record (OTR)by Jo (“@tabithacarlisle” :) Maxwell got the Caller ID notification on his iWatch:

‘Tabitha 👑🌸’.

He answered it right away on his cell,“Hey, ‘Your Majesty!’ Glad you called! I was just thinking about calling you, actually, I—“

(Crying, she cut him off) “Oh Maxwell...”::sob:: “Hey-heyhey hey, shhhhh, it’s ok. It’s ok! What’s going on- what happened?”

“I had to reschedule my sonogram appointment that was supposed to be for tomorrow. Bastien called. He said Liam’s one-on-one meetings at the Davos Summit are running late, and he’ll need to stay out there for another week. But, Liam wants us to find out the baby’s sex together, so I’ll just... have to keep waiting! Again! Oh my fucking gawd, Max! He’s always in ‘meetings!’ He’s always gone! I was just looking forward to us sharing that moment together to see our new baby, so much. How could Liam put off such an important milestone for his first child? It’s not fair. No— I shouldn’t say that. I mean,I know —He warned me what I was getting into when I married him, how he’d have to split his loyalties between me and his duties as King. But, Maxwell, I don’t think I’m cut out to be the sole parent while he galavants around the globe all the time! Our first sonogram! Is nothing sacred? For fuck’s-sake?!” Another loud sob escaped her throat. “I’m sorry, I’m hormonal hot-mess right now and more upset by this than I probably should be, but... I could really use a friend to distract me right now. I —“ “Say no more! I’m only a quick jet-ride away. I’ll be there a-sap.” She sniffed on the other end. “Omigod, I don’t know what I did to deserve a best friend like you, Max. Thank you.” Her statement caught Maxwell off guard. He felt his breath catch in his throat & his heart take a small leap in his chest. After that beat, he spoke, “Stop it. You deserve everything good, Tabitha. And, I feel the same about you, too.” ...

Tabitha had cared for Maxwell more than anyone in his had ever cared for him in his whole life, besides his late mother, and the thought of her being sad tugged at his heartstrings like no other. He’d do anything to make her smile and take her pain away

...... Maxwell fast-walked to keep up with Mara as she led him down the long, gilded hallway to the master bedroom doors. Even with his lanky, athletic legs and naturally speedy gait, his hurried strides still kept him about half a pace behind hers. Mara spoke to him over her shoulder, “Between the two of us, OTR? I’m thankful you came, Lord Maxwell. Her Majesty has been holed up in her room all day.” He gave a solemn nod and waited at the door as Mara rapped her knuckles on the frame “Lord Maxwell to see you, your Majesty.”

The sound of urgent steps grew louder before the door opened . Tabitha covered her sob with the back of her hand. “Oh Maxwell!”

They hugged, clinging to each other as if their bodies were buoys in the middle of a vast ocean. Maxwell placed a chaste kiss on her head as she burrowed it into his chest. After a few moments Tabitha pulled away from him long enough to address her bodyguard,

“Thank you, Mara. We’ll be fine.”

Mara gave a curt bow and left the room closing the door behind her. Maxwell gripped her hands to space their bodies apart as to get a better look at her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and Tabitha shuddered as she felt his barely calloused thumb pad wipe them away.

“It has been way too long, Tabz! I’m sorry I’ve gotten so wrapped up in my book tour. And I haven’t seen you since you and Liam announced the news. Look at you!” His eyes shone with emotion as he looked her up and down, seeing the small growing bump underneath her shift dress. “You’re going to be a mom!”

Tabitha’s sobs resumed with a heave in her chest, her hands still holding on to his. She looked down and sighed. “But Liam’s not here.” She let go to dab the corner of her eye with the back of her thumb. “This was supposed to be a big milestone. It was so important to me. It should have been important for him, too! This whole pregnancy, becoming a parent in the next few months, it doesn’t even feel real yet, y’know? I just want to see this baby so badly to prove that to myself, to hear its heartbeat again. And, I wanted this for Liam, too! He needs that affirmation just as much as I do. I want him to feel that this is real. For us. For the family we’re about to create.”

“Psssh. Of course it’s real, Tabitha! Look at me, look. This? Right here? This was always the ‘end game’ for us. Getting Liam to fall in love with you, getting the two of you married and secure your place on throne for Cordonia with an heir, it’s all real! You have no idea how proud of you I am.”

“Really?”

“You know it.” Maxwell clicked his tongue mischievously as he squatted down low, hovering his cupped palms over her belly. He looked up at her with wide, adoring eyes. “May I?”Tabitha smiled softly and nodded, touched by his reverence for her condition.Having permission, he placed both hands down over her stomach and turned his head as he spoke animatedly to it “Hello in there, Little One! Guess what? Gender reveal parties are so basic! Definitely too passé for a future celebrity trend-setter like you!”Tabitha giggled.He looked up to give her a subtle wink, then continued talking to her belly in a more of a whisper, but loud enough for Tabitha to hear him, “You are destined for so. much. more! And your favorite Uncle Maxwell is going to spoil you rotten, no matter what.”

Tabitha put her hands over his as she looked at him with happy tears beginning to well in her eyes, “I can’t wait for that to happen.”Maxwell beamed up at Tabitha and gave her belly an adoring quick kiss before he sprung up from his crouching position to a stand. He began to tear up too, seeing so much emotion stirring in her. There was so much he wanted to say, but now that she was the Queen he felt as if it was no longer his place quite like before, to be so free with his words with her. So instead, he stared intensely into her eyes and beamed at her, wishing to convey all he felt in his heart at that moment through his smile.

“Maxwell,” she began with a tentative shake to her voice “there’s somethi—“ “No, no.” he interrupted, “You asked me to be your distraction from all of this, and I promised I’d come through for you.” “When Maxwell Percival Beaumont makes a promise, he delivers!” Maxwell pulled a small thumb drive out of his pocket. “Ahem. OK, check . this . out. My buddy, Spencer, just gave me some bootleg pre-theatrical releases of ‘John Wick 3,’ ‘Avengers Endgame,’ and ‘The Curse of La Llorna’. Siiiiiick, right?! I’m so stoked! I’ll call the kitchen downstairs for popcorn and drinks, and we’re in business!“ “Ugh, no,” she groaned, turning away and shutting him down, “no action or horror movies tonight. You know how they put me to sleep.” He scoffed in mock disappointments at her, chuckling.”I still don’t get it. How the hell does anyone fall asleep during action movies?! What‘s wrong with you?” Tabitha shrugged, “I told you, without character development or drama to pull me in, it all just becomes too much overstimulation and I just, tune it out. The loud sound effects just start to sound like a white noise machine.” Yawning through her words, she continued, “But, now that you mention it, maybe that’s just what I need to cure my insomnia?” “No, nononono. I did not come all the way from Ramsford to have my bestie fall asleep on me tonight, Tabz!” Rubbing and patting her shoulders and crouching slightly to look directly into her eyes he said, “Here’s what we’re gonna do: I’m going order up sundaes to the room and we’re going to stay up hate-watching trashy reality shows. Whatever it takes for you to have the fun night that you deserve, ok?” She smirked in agreement, “Ice cream & trashy tv? Now you’re speaking my language.” Maxwell triumphantly gave his fist aquick air pump “Yes! I’ll call the kitchen up right now.” ...........

Within moments they were sitting sprawled on the oversized chaise loungers in the adjoining theater room, watching “Real Housewives of Cordonia” on the drop down projection screen and spooning mouthfuls of mutiflavored ice cream sundaes into their mouths. Maxwell had consumed enough wine for the both of them which warmed him plenty afterwards but Tabitha had to abstain. Brrrr!” She shivered “Omigod I’m freezing now!” Maxwell chuckled & shook his head, bouncing up right away to fetch a large plush throw blanket to drape over her with a dramatic flourish. He knew the drill. “Your wish, is my command.” “Thank you!” she gushed, her teeth were still chattering, “You’re so good to me, Maxwell.” “Mind if I stretch out here? I need to put my feet up.” Maxwell found her adorable when she was cold and pouty. “Of course!” He winked and motioned for her to cuddle up against him, “C’mere,” and as she placed her head on his lap he ruffled her hair playfully. In this moment, they were just Tabitha & Maxwell, ‘best friends.’ She was his first real best friend. Isn’t this what all best friends do? “She’s like the sister I never had” he’d tell his other guy friends when they had teased him about her. They didn’t believe him. Was that it though? They were about the same age but he felt an impulse to comfort and guard her from any one or anything that could make her sad. Like an older brother? No, it was much more complex than that. Maxwell draped his arm over Tabitha protectively and she snuggled up against him, her eyes closed for a brief moment, full of contentment. As the night wore on, several episodes later, Maxwell found himself laughing at a commercial and looked down at Tabitha to see why she wasn’t laughing too. She was sound asleep. “Geez, I should have known,” he whispered, “you always fall asleep when you lie down to watch tv,”

Maxwell felt a surge of warm appreciation for how much she still trusted him, after all this time, even after marrying Liam, to let down her guard enough to fall asleep on him. He found her breathtaking when she slept, watching her long lashes flutter softly over her cheeks. Pregnancy suited Tabitha; she was even more radiant than usual, and her hair was long and lush, spread out and falling over both her shoulders and his knees. Her lips were swollen and parted, and as he watched the rise and fall of her body, he fell in a sort of trance watching sleepy breaths escaping softly from her mouth every few seconds. Maxwell felt the urge to touch her. He gently combed his fingers through her hair, tracing over the braided bags that always crowned her forehead, and in doing this he began to recall the bachelorette party, the after party, “a free pass” 

....... ~(flashback to Tabitha and Maxwell lying naked together in The Vegas hotel penthouse suite bed, Maxwell playing with her hair)~

“I’m going to wake up tomorrow and wonder if any of this was real...”

“What happens in Vegas...”

“Can happen anywhere else in the world?”

“Maxwell.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

~...

He remembered that night, the way she made him feel like the luckiest guy on earth. Why me? The future queen of Cordonia could have had any one that night for her ‘last premarital fling,’ sanctioned & blessed by none other than the her future husband, the King of Cordonia himself. And she picked Maxwell Beaumont? He remembered how out of character it was for her to seem nervous talking to him when she had brought it up at the hotel bar at the end of the night. The way she blushed and seemed just slightly and uncharacteristically nervous, she had never smiled at him like that before. He remembered she shivered when he kissed her neck, her collar bone, the swell of her breast, He remembered how she smelled, how she tasted, the soft, beautiful and otherworldly sounds she made as he went down on her on the window seat overlooking the Vegas Strip, how effortlessly he had fit into her, and how easy it had been for them to find their shared rhythm as they came together...

Coming to and snapping out of his flashback, Maxwell audibly whelped as he realized how close Tabitha’s face was to his crotch and his growing erection aching against the fly of his pants. The noise that escaped from the back of his throat caused her to stir, and he cursed himself under his breath for waking Tabitha up. “Err, sorry Sleeping Beauty but I... gotta—‘xcuse me!” he started to get up

Tabitha started to sit up herself, drowsily, with her eyes squinting against the glow of the projection screen in the semi dark room. Her line of vision came into focus onto Maxwell’s lap as he hastily tried to move from under her, and just as suddenly, she became aware of what must have been the source of his need to get away. “Maxwell! Omigod I’m so sorry- what happened?” Was that - was I touching you in my sleep? Liam says I—“ Hearing Liam’s name made his flight response kick into overdrive. This was wrong, this was so, so wrong and he had really fucked up, again. Maxwell blurted out “No! No no, it’s not— I just... had to—“ “Oh gawd” she realized he was leaving to go ‘rub one out’ in the bathroom, and the thought of him doing that had made her surprisingly horny, “Wait, Maxwell...” her hungry eyes begged him, looking him over up and down and resting at his girth. Then she sat up and did that thing Maxwell loved so when she bit the corner of her bottom lip, “You don’t need to take care of that alone. I can help you.” Oh shit. He couldn’t. She was married now. To Liam. King Liam. Maxwell began to really sweat now. fuck, is this really happening? I can’t let her do this I can’t— “No!” He pleaded, unconvincingly “I can just go—mmmphf!” His words of objection were silenced when her lips crashed into his and she them with the tip of her tongue. He lost himself, momentarily suspended in disbelief and letting go, groans escaping into her mouth as his hand moved to cup her jaw. But just as suddenly as the kiss had happened he remembered where they were, who was missing, and he let her go. “No, Tabitha,... what about Liam. You can’t. We can’t” “He’s not here.” she protested, wiping off her mouth. “He won’t be back for days. Bastien said this summit goes on for—” “But” he looked down at her baby-bump, asking his head. “I can’t, I don’t want to hurt the baby” Tabitha laughed “omigod, Maxwell! do you realize how often pregnant women have sex? It’s completely safe, nothing bad will happen to the baby” “...Really?” “Doctor approved. My hormones are raging, I’ve got no more morning sickness so now I’m horny all the time! Which is unfortunate because Liam has been.. distant, and busy.. And you know about, him and Drake, right? The real reason why Drake is always coming along on these international business trips with him?” “I mean yeah, I know... I know what used to go on” he nods, “but, I thought they would have stopped that by now, now that you’re married, I mean?“ “I had thought the same thing, but Mara & Bastien & Liam have placed so many restrictions on my travel. I feel like a princess stuck in a tower! I mean I get why they’re being overprotective, I’m carrying the future heir to the throne. But now that means I can’t be there for Liam when he gets he needs to be fulfilled. Drake is there, I’m not, so... I get it, I do. We’ve talked about it and we have an understanding. But, I get so emotional and lonely now, I just wish.... Liam has needs but, so do I...” she looked up through her lashes at him pleadingly and then back down her thin fingers ghosting over his belt. He gulped. “Yeah, ::pant:: ‘needs’, I know about those...” he could feel his dick stiffening again, aching for her. She kissed her way up Maxwell’s jawline and nipped at his ear, tenderly moaning into it.“Mmhmm.” Maxwell shivered. Tabitha’s hands went straight for his belt buckle. Like Houdini breaking out of a straightjacket she expertly freed his erection. When she pulled down the elastic from his boxer briefs his cock sprung out and bobbed up against his shirt. Tabitha grabbed his shaft and took him into her mouth in one swift motion. Maxwell’s hips instinctively thrust forward and he closed his eyes, grunting “jesusFUCK that’s good. ahhh!-“ he could now feel her canines lightly grazing his skin, her pointed tongue scribbling lines on him, and though his eyes were closed he could feel her smiling with satisfaction at how easy he was to please with each moan of pleasure he made. Maxwell’s hands grabbed her hair to pull her closer as her checks once again hollowed out to take all of him in. It was hard, really hard, for Maxwell to remember to have inhibitions and to mind the Royal protocol with his dick deep in her mouth. He knew he should stop, but then again, if he should stop, why would it feel so natural and so fucking good to be like this with her? “Tabitha...” She let the tip of his shaft roll out of her mouth and rest on her pursed lips while taking the length in one hand and his balls in the other, cupping him while circling the underside of the velvety head with the tip of her tongue. Licking him down and up, she traced the sinewy underside of the shaft, her fingers massaged tight circles on the sensitive spot just underneath his sac. “Nghhnn!” Maxwell saw how the lust in her eyes made her pupils flood them with black, darkening with desire. That look from her made his cock convulse and beads of precum began leaking at the tip. Tabitha moaned with him inside her mouth causing tantalizing vibrations on his member... but Maxwell’s trance was interrupted by a sudden and inconvenient thought invaded his mind. “Wait!”He pulled away from her. Tabitha looked up at him, confused “What?” she pouted. “I can’t cum in your mouth!” he almost whispered motioning to her stomach: “The b—.” Tabitha covered her mouth in horror “shit, you’re right” She blushed furiously.

Tabitha started to get up but her eyes darted to the side as a solution presented itself to her. She looked back at him with a Cheshire Cat grin and raked her fingers up his abdomen to his chest. “Well then, Lord Beaumont,” she purred “it looks like you’re just going to have to cum inside me.” Maxwell opened his mouth to protest, but soon forgot his objections when she came back down to meet his lips again. He smiled against her mouth and deepened the kiss as they raced and fumbled to finish undressing each other. Maxwell’s teeth playfully nipped and sucked at the exposed hollow of her neck and she gasped at the sensation. “Oh god, Tabitha. I want you so bad” he murmured in his soft, husky voice at her ear before he bit at the cartilage. “I need you now, Max.” she gasped. Maxwell’s hands palmed her breasts once he had sprung them from their confines and the heat of arousal blooming from her core at his touch was almost enough to send her over the edge. He lowered his head to take them in his mouth and stopped, his lips agape and his eyes widened, at how she had changed since the last time he had seen her naked. “They’re...so...big now!” A rakish smile crept on his face from ear to ear. He bent his neck again, meaning to tease her by biting her nipple, but it had the opposite effect and Tabitha whimpered. “ahhhAahh! More sensitive now, too!” Maxwell looked up apologetically at her “Sorry! I’ll be gentle.” Taking precious care now to avoid being so rough he swirled slow circles around her nipples with his tongue before taking her breast into his mouth to suck it. She moaned in the way that let him know he was doing it just right now and she could feel him smiling on her again.Tracing the faint raised lines of his hippo tattoo on his chest with deep longing she implored, him “I need you Max, right now.”

“Yes m’am!” He scooped her up into his arms and she squealed with surprised delight as he carried her over to the bed. Maxwell set her down dotingly on the pillows and kissed her again as he maneuvered himself on his knees between her legs. He allowed his shaft to slide against her folds, slick with arousal, rubbing back and forth on her clit. Tabitha grabbed the sheets and arched her back mewling with pleasure. “Now, Maxwell!” He guided himself into her and they connected at last. Tabitha’s ankles wrapped around his hips and he audibly groaned at how good it felt to be inside her again. His hips rolled into her rhythmically and she rose her pelvis up to meet them at his speed. She closed her eyes and reached down to rub her clit, but had made the mistake of forgetting how much Maxwell had liked to be the one in charge. He smirked and playfully slapped her hand away, replacing it with his own. “Nuh-unh, your Majesty, that’s my job.” This dominance in the bedroom was completely different than the dynamic she had with Liam and it was such a turn on. She whelped at the new waves of pleasure that coursed through her now, completely at the mercy of his touch. Grabbing one hand onto his bicep and the other at the nape of his neck, she anchored herself to him. Maxwell lowered himself to crush his lips against hers again, groaning and all the while never losing the tempo of his thrust. Tabitha pulled back to take a sharp breath and he pushed her wrists down to hold them against the bed and as he planked himself above her. Maxwell’s biceps flexed to hover over her just so as to not crush her with his weight. They stared deep into each others eyes, both a deep sapphire blue mirroring each-other’s intensity with pupils ever growing and darkening their depths, “Max- I’m gonna... nnhhh”

Her words came as he felt her walls begin to throb around him, and it set every nerve in his body alight. With ever quickening pace his breaths and hip gyrations intensified. He could sense that familiar feeling of his sac tightening, and from her shallow breathing he knew they were both almost there. Maxwell closed his eyelids as he gave over to the delicious pressure boiling over in him, and they climaxed together, groaning into each other’s necks to muffle their sounds of wanton euphoria

......

He turned over and collapsed sweaty and spent onto the pillow top mattress. There was a smattering of lazy breathless kisses and pets shared between them, but no words of consequence spoken. Staring at the ceiling, Maxwell took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. His mind was wrestling with the two warring impulses. One: get out of bed right away, get dressed and leave. She was not his & he was not hers, that was the standard procedure for all of his other one night stands. The second one was to wrap his arms around her and stay that way till morning in that beautiful postcoital bliss that he had only ever felt with her. Maxwell was relieved when Tabitha made the decision for him, nuzzling her head into the crook of his shoulder and tenderly draping her arms around him. He combed her hair with his fingers, staring at the ceiling until his heavy eyelids began to give way to sleep. They stayed that way for many moments, silent and breathing slowly with their chests rising and falling in alternation. “I love you” he whispered under his breath, meaning only for himself to hear it, just before drifting off. But then, he heard her, murmuring in her sleep, “The... baby... might be yours” Was he dreaming already? She couldn’t have really said that. Tabitha said she was on the pill during the unity tour, surely there was... no way that— but he couldn’t finish the thought before falling into a deep & dreamless sleep

...................

To Be Continued......? <<< click for *OTR Part 2

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @itsbrindleybinch @silversparrow02

also tagging some of my favorite bloggers who’ve tagged me before on their fanfics ;) : @tmarie82 @boneandfur @ritachacha @breaumonts @fullbeaumonty@scgdoeswhat @ludextruction @littlecrookedheart @jovialyouthmusic @queen-among-writers @choiceslife

[harley-sunday]

The Draw (11)

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end...

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: Language. Smut. NSFW under the cut. Unprotected sex

Word count: 3855

AN: Sorry for the long wait, but I’m sort of counting on this chapter to make up for that! Also, there’s definitely going to be a part 12 to this, maybe even a part 13… I just don’t seem to be able to quit this little daydream of mine :) Hope you like this part, let me know what you think!

I don’t have a taglist, but if you follow Harley Sunday x Sebastian Stan you should see any update I post.

Masterlist

Sebastian’s text is short, but it brings a smile to your face nevertheless.

Headed towards premiere number three in Madrid. Rather be with you somewhere. -S

You type a quick reply.

Have fun! See you in 12 days. Xx

“I still don’t understand why I have to be wheeled out of here,” Nathan grumbles, shaking his head.

“Hmm,” you agree, pushing the button to call the elevator. “Hospital policy, probably.”

“Well, it’s stupid,” he sulks, crossing his arms in front of his chest just as the elevator doors open.

“Jesus, what are you, five?” You flick his shoulder, “Just be glad it’s me who’s picking you up and not Mom or Dad. They probably would have wanted you wheeled out on a stretcher.”

“Probably would have asked if an ambulance could drive me home,” Nathan scoffs, but at least there’s a smile forming on his lips now.

“Probably would have had Aunt Carol live with you so she could take care of you whenever Sarah’s at work,” you snicker. “And she’d probably insist to give you a sponge bath every day-”

“Ew,” Nathan interrupts you, holding up his hand to stop you. “ Ew. Let’s not go there.”

“Better not,” you agree as you wheel Nathan out of the elevator and out of the hospital. It’s sunny outside and you can see your brother taking a deep breath after he’s been cooped up in a hospital for the last eight days. You steer the wheelchair to where you’ve parked your car and watch as Nathan gets inside before you return the wheelchair to it’s designated area.

“Alright,” you say as you sit down and start the car, “put your seat belt on, loser, I’m taking you home.”

The drive is short and quiet, both of you lost in your own thoughts. It isn’t until you pull up on his driveway that you turn to your brother and spill out what’s been on your mind ever since you picked him up from the hospital, “You guys are coming to dinner next week.”

“Ok,” he draws out, a confused look passing his face.

“Sebastian really wants to meet you,” you explain then. “He’s coming back from doing press in Europe and Asia and he has 2 days off so he’s coming visit, because God knows when we would be able to see each other again otherwise and, I mean, he knows Jake already right? So, it makes sense that he wants to meet you too and I would really like for you to meet him and-”

“Ok. Calm down,” Nathan says, holding up his hands. “Jesus. Just breathe in between the sentences, ok?” He laughs then, “God, you’re such a girl.”

‘Oh, shut up,” you reply, smacking his arm. You take a deep breath then, “It’s just,” you hesitate for a second, trying to find the right words, “it’s just important to me that you like him, ok? Because I really like him, but-”

“But you’re afraid your judgement might be off because you used to like Mark too?”

You sigh and simply answer, “Yes,” not even surprised anymore at how your brother put into words what you couldn’t.   

There’s a sympathetic smile from your brother then, “He played all of us, ok? Jesus, Mom and Dad thought he was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Sarah and I thought you guys would get married one day. So don’t even think about blaming yourself for that.”

“Hmm,”

“Listen, we’ll be there, ok? And I promise not to be too much of a dickhead.” His smile disappears then, replaced by a more serious look, “It means a lot that you value my opinion of him, so,” he nods, “I got your back.”

“Thanks,” you smile back at him. But it’s you two and you were never really good at the sentimental stuff so you all but shove him out of the car next, “Let’s get you inside, loser.”

Your first day back at work seems endless and your mailbox is so overflowing that it feels like you’ll never catch up, but once it’s six o’clock you’re almost done, only a couple of emails left, and you decided to call it quits for today. You head over to Lauren’s, who invited you over for dinner.

Letting yourself inside with the spare key she gave you, you find her in the kitchen, making the lasagna her Nonna used to make and you can feel your mouth start to water, remembering how good it tastes. You hug her from behind, placing a quick kiss on her cheek, “Hey, bestie.”

“Babe!” She greets you enthusiastically while stirring the sauce to make sure it doesn’t burn. “How’s Nathan?”

“Good,” you reply while you grab a wine glass from the cabinet and help yourself to a glass of white, while you top up her glass. “He’s at home, resting I hope. Probably bored out of his mind.”

“Hmm,” Lauren agrees as she tastes the sauce before she adds a little more salt. “And how’s Sebastian?”

“Good,” you reply again. “He’s in Romania now, I think.” You count the days in your head, “Yeah, Romania today and tomorrow and then they’re flying to somewhere in Asia on Friday.”

“Oh, to be the girlfriend of a celebrity,” Lauren sighs dramatically, but then she turns around and smiles at you, “You holding up ok?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, “It’s weird. I mean, I’ve literally like what, known him for 24 hours in total? It just doesn’t make any sense when you think of it.”

“And why should it?” Lauren counters. “It feels good, right?”

“It does,” you agree.

“Well, that’s all that matters.”

“Tante!” Jake exclaims as he opens the front door.

“Hi, bud!” You give your nephew a hug and ruffle his hair, “How are you? How’s Dad?”

“Good!” Jake replies as he takes your hand and tugs you inside, “Come see the Lego I build!”

“In a minute, bud,” you say, letting go of his hand. “I’ll go say hi to Dad first ok?”

“Ok!”

You smile as you watch him bolt up the stairs to his room, happier than he’s been in a long time and you’re sure it is because his Dad’s out of the hospital and spending time with him at home. You make your way to the living room where you find your brother sprawled out on the couch, remote control in his hand, watching God knows what. You walk up to him and kiss his forehead, “Hi, loser.”

“You’re the loser,” he mumbles but he winks then and smiles. “How is my favorite sister?”

“I’m your only sister, Nathan,” you reply out of habit as you sit down in the chair next to him, but can’t help but laugh, “but I’m good. How are you?”

“Same old, same old,” he says with a dramatic sigh. He sits up then before he looks at you, “But I’m going crazy here. You have to help me!”

You laugh, shaking your head, “That bad, huh?”

“Daytime TV is so bad! You have no idea.” He points towards the TV, “Dr Phil, dude, wow. I, I can’t even.”

“When do you get to go back to work?”

“Monday,” Nathan says with a relieved smile, “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m so looking forward to it.”

“I’m sure Sarah does to,” you tease, “She deals with enough difficult patients at work and then she’s got you at home-”

Your brother is about to reply but it’s then your phone rings and you smile when you see “Mr. Smooth” flashing across the screen. You get up and tell your brother you’ll be right back before you answer as you walk out the back door and into the garden, “Hey, you.”

“Hi,” Sebastian says and you’re surprised at how tired he sounds.

“You ok?” you ask, worried now.

“Yeah, just a terrible jet lag from all the flying around,” he answers quietly.

“Where are you now?”

“Tokyo,”

You do the math quickly and realize it’s five in the morning over on his side of the world, “Couldn’t sleep anymore?”

“Nah,” he sighs. “What are you doing?”

“I’m over at Nathan’s. Sarah’s at work so I’m just checking up on him.” You lean against the back door, not sure you should say what you’re about to say next, but then deciding to throw caution in the wind, “I miss you.”

“Just a couple more days, sweetheart,” his voice is low and does things to you.

“I know,” you whisper.

“I like you,”

“I like you too,” you reply. “See you on Thursday.”

“I’ll be seeing you.”

Hugging the phone to your chest for a few seconds after he’s hung up you try to get your heart rate back to normal before you go back inside.

Tapping your fingers on the steering wheel you’re starting to get impatient and your eyes keep darting from the clock on your dashboard to exit doors of the arrival hall, willing them to open with your boyfriend walking out of the airport.

Your boyfriend.

You can’t help but smile when you think back to the night you spent together, heat rising to your cheeks when you remember what you did and how much you can’t wait to do it again. Pulling up the texting app on your phone you read the last text Sebastian sent you:

Just landed. Can’t wait to see you. Exit E, right? -S

Looking at the clock again you see it’s been ten minutes since you parked the car and you are about to send Sebastian another text, asking him where he’s at, but then the doors open and even though the baseball cap he’s wearing and the way he keeps his head down shield most of his face, your hearts jumps because you just know it’s him.

You watch him round the car, putting his suitcase in the backseat before he gets into the passenger’s seat. You turn towards him and smile, “Hi,”

“Hi,” he replies, taking off his baseball cap before he leans in, his lips brushing against yours.

You part your lips almost on instinct, an involuntary moan escaping you as he pulls back and looks at you with a smirk. Shaking your head you decide you’ll make him pay for it later and focus on starting the car instead, pulling out of the parking spot and onto the road, heading home.

He lays his arm on your headrest then and runs his fingers through your ponytail, twirling strands of hair between his fingers, occasionally tugging on them gently. You bite your lip to keep from cursing at how good it feels but of course he knows, because your breathing has turned ragged and you’re holding onto the steering wheel just a little too tight. He unbuckles his seat belt then and almost immediately you feel his warm breath hitting your neck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses from just underneath your ear to the base of your throat. 

Swallowing hard, you try to focus on the road, thanking whatever God their may be that there’s almost no traffic this time of night.

He moves closer then, kissing the corner of your mouth, his hand still in your hair, trying to take out the hair tie without getting it tangled up. The next kiss lands on your mouth and before you know it you’re kissing him back, turning your head ever so slightly to meet him, but your eyes never leaving the road. You smile into the kisses because he keeps pulling away, teasing you, and you keep finding him.

His eyes stay on you and you try your hardest to keep yours on the road, but God, he’s too much and an idea forms in your head when you see there’s a rest stop coming up. You put your blinker on and steer towards the exit, a self satisfied grin on your face. Sebastian looks at you in confusion when you pull over at the far end of the parking, where there are no other cars in sight, but you don’t give him any time to ask questions, already unbuckling your seat belt before you turn towards him and breathing a low, “We’re doing this now.”

You meet him halfway, sitting up as much as you can, your mouth crashing against his, your hands tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head before you shower his chest in kisses, quickly making your way down. His hands are in your hair again, pulling you up for another kiss, his teeth pulling on your lower lip, a need to the kiss that tells you he wants this just as much. You break contact just long enough to pull your own shirt off before you push him back against the passenger’s seat and straddle him, feeling his erection pressing against your already wet core. You grind down and a groan escapes him as his hands grab your hips, pushing you against him, his mouth finding yours again the stubble of his beard scratching your skin.

You fumble with the button of your jeans, arching your back, lifting yourself off of him to rid yourself of the piece of clothing, taking your soaked panties down with it. Your hands find the hem of his jeans and you undo the buttons before pushing down the fabric, your hand in his boxers now, taking out his already hard cock. You lick your lips at the sight of him and you run your thumb from the base to the tip, pumping a few times then to make him even harder.

He groans and tugs on your hips so that you’re now directly above him. He watches you through hooded lids as you lower yourself, taking him in slowly, not bothering with a condom because honestly, it never even crosses your mind to do so and you both got tested since last time, so you know you’re good.

You let out an involuntary shiver at how good it feels to have him fill you up and your mouth finds his, hands in his hair as you take him all the way in, staying still for just a second as you get used to him again. You rest your forehead against his, slowly grinding your hips, letting out a moan as he fills you up even more.

His hand slides in between you and starts rubbing your clit, which in turn makes you throw your head back as you start riding him for real, setting a steady pace that you know will get both of you there quickly. You feel his mouth on your nipple, gently biting and tugging and you can feel your release coming close, your voice barely a whisper when you say, “Seb, I’m- fuck!”

He releases your nipple, tongue licking his lips, “I know.” His fingers pinch your clit, a wicked grin on his lips as he watches you, his voice dangerously low when he says, “Come for me, sweetheart,”

It sends you right over the edge and you let out a loud, “Oh fuck,” as your orgasm washes over you. You feel his hands on your hips again as he helps you keep up the rhythm he needs to follow you. You lean forward, kissing his shoulder, gently dragging your teeth towards the base of his neck when you feel him tense up and you steady yourself, groaning at him, “ Let go, babe,”

He trusts harder then and you hear your name roll of his lips almost breathlessly as he releases himself inside of you. You bury your face in his neck, panting, and feel his hands caress your back as he holds you against him, whispering a quiet, “Fuck, sweetheart, I missed you,” in your ear.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Sebastian asks, hands on your hips, his chin resting on shoulder as he watches you chop the potatoes.

“Very sure,” you reassure him, whimpering a little when he lets go of you. You smile as you hear him take out plates from the cabinet before he sets the table, still amazed at how easy it is between you two. Earlier today he admitted he feels very at home in your house, before shyly adding that he feels that way wherever he’s with you and it made your heart melt.

“Seb?” you ask, “Tell me you schedule again?”

He replies from the dining room, “Flying back to L.A. tomorrow, then back to New York on Wednesday.”

“Right,” you reply softly. You continue, louder then, so he can hear you, “How long are you staying in New York?”

“At least four weeks,” he says as he walks back into the kitchen. He leans against the counter, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. But of course you know, because this is what you’ve been meaning to ask ever since he came back. You take a deep breath in attempt to calm your nerves and look at him, “We have an office in New York at work, and I,” you hesitate, “I asked if maybe I could work from there every now and then and-”

“You want to come to New York with me?”

You’re not sure about his tone of voice and so you quietly add, “Yes. If that’s ok for you?” You try to smile, “I mean, if it’s too much or too soon, I totally get it, I just thought that maybe it would nice to spend some more time together, but-”

“It would be really nice,” he interrupts with a smile. Taking your hand in his to make you stop fumbling with the tea towel, he pulls you towards him, his lips on yours within seconds.

You throw your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

“Ew!”

You pull back quickly, shocked to see Jake standing in your kitchen, a look of disgust on his face. His parents are right behind him, with Sarah smiling at you and Nathan making a gagging sound.

“Hi, bud!” you say a little too enthusiastically, straightening your dress even though it is not wrinkled whatsoever.

“Hi,” Jake replies with caution, his eyes darting between you and Sebastian. “Why were you kissing him?”

“Jake,” Sarah hisses, a hand on Jake’s shoulder.

Your brother just snickers, “Yeah, why were you kissing him, tante?”

“Why didn’t you just ring the doorbell like any normal person would?” you shoot back at your brother.

He shrugs, “Would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?” He walks up to Sebastian then, holding out his hand, “Hi, I’m Nathan.”

“Sebastian,” he takes your brother’s hand and shakes it, before he introduces himself to Sarah and then gives Jake a high five.

“Why don’t I help you with dinner?” Sarah suggests, dropping her purse in the corner. She looks at Nathan, “Will you take Jake outside? Maybe offer Sebastian a beer while you’re at it?”

Nathan just nods before he grabs two beers and a juice pouch from the fridge, calling out for Jake to follow him.

You look at Sebastian, “Go! Sarah and I will finish up here.”

“I’ll go tell them dinner is ready,” Sarah offers.

You nod and watch as she makes her way outside, leaving you alone in the kitchen for a moment. You wonder if your brother has behaved himself and worry he might have been too harsh on Sebastian but then you hear laughter as they come inside, and see your brother smacking Sebastian’s arm in a playful manner and your instantly reassured.

Jake sits in between you and Sebastian at the table and you can tell he’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the Winter Soldier is sitting next to him and apparently likes to kiss his aunt. You try to get something out of your brother during dinner by throwing him a few pointed looks, but he just shrugs and keeps eating.

"Tante?” Jake asks as you’re in the kitchen together, because you’ve asked him to help you serve dessert.

“Yeah, bud?”

“Dad told the Winter Soldier,” he hesitates then, before he corrects himself, “I mean, Sebastian. Dad told Sebastian that if he ever hurt you he would kick his ass.” He giggles when he says “ass” and it makes you laugh too.

“Well, it’s nice that Dad’s looking out for me, don’t you think?” And it really is. You remind yourself to thank Nathan later, because it tells you that he’s taken you seriously and did what he said he would do.

“Yeah,” Jake agrees. “I told Sebastian that you deserve to be happy.”

“Ah, thank you, bud,” you say as you give him a hug, “that means a lot.”

“So,” you draw out slowly as you finish the last of the dishes. “How was your talk with Sebastian?”

“Good,” Nathan simply answers.

You hit him with the tea towel and give him a pointed look, “And?”

“And,” Nathan mimics your tone with a grin, “He’s good people.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nathan puts his arm around you and pulls you close, “but you knew that already, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” you agree, “I just wanted you to know as well.”

You wake up before Sebastian does and as you cuddle up to him you glance at the clock and see you still have three hours left before he has to leave. You don’t want to wake him, not really, but you also don’t want to spend the next couple of hours just cuddling and so you softly kiss his cheek, before you move down to his jaw, his chest next and then down to the hem of his boxers. You can’t help but smile when you see how his body reacts to your touch and there’s a moan escaping him when you cup him through the fabric. “Morning,” you say, looking at him from in between his legs.

He looks at you through hooded eyes, not fully understanding what is going on just yet but then you pull his boxers down and take him into your mouth and suddenly he’s wide awake, “Fuck, sweetheart,”

You hum contently, the vibrations instantly making him hard and this time you decide to just give him what he wants instead of taking it nice and slow. You set a steady pace, using both your hands and mouth, and it isn’t long before you feel his hand on the back of your head, keeping you in place as he bucks his hips, making you take all of him. He’s close and you hollow your cheeks, giving him the friction he needs to come.

After you’ve swallowed his cum you draw back slowly, kissing your way back up until you find his mouth. You smile against his lips, your hand still on his cock, stroking it languidly as your tongue traces his lips.

By the way he grabs you you can tell he’s about to roll you over, probably to return the favor and so you pull back, “No.”

He looks at you, surprised no doubt.

You just look back at him, whispering a quiet, “It’s about you today, Seb. Consider this my going-away present,” smiling when you feel his cock twitch in your hand.

[noahsfreckles]

The Housekeeper (12)

I decide on a little black dress with crochet sleeves and back cut into a v shape and some black heels. I wear my hair down.

I grab my bag that has extra clothes (aka Noah's clean shirt and some booty shorts, Noah's slides, my bright red bikini and some clothes to change into tomorrow) and my mini black purse with my phone and matte lip stick. I head downstairs to the living room to find Britt alone.

"Where's Justin?" I ask.

"He went home for a little bit, he should be back around nine."

"Oh okay. So thoughts?" I do a little spin in the dress.

"Sexy, Noah won't know what to do when he sees you."

"Thanks." I sit down on the couch next to her.

"What's in the bag?"

"Just clothes."

"Nothing else?"

"Like what?"

"Protection."

"Britt!"

"What you gotta be prepared too girl, don't rely on the man to have some."

"Britt, we um," I look away from her.

"What?"

"We haven't even kissed yet."

"What?! How is that possible?"

"I've kissed his cheek three times. That's as far as we've gone."

"I'm shocked."

"Why?" I look at her curiously.

"One; he's Noah Centineo. Two; You're Tree. Three; you've spent two nights with him alone."

"Yeah and?"

"Have you not wanted to?"

"Of course I have but I don't know I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" She asks.

"Of kissing him and getting completely attached, for him to leave in three weeks and forget about me."

"He could never forget about you, Tree. He likes you too much to just leave and forget about you."

"He's still going to leave me in three weeks." I look at her and pout.

"There's always long distance and you can always visit each other."

"I'm just scared of getting my heart broken the most."

"If he breaks your heart I'll break him," she says and side hugs me. "No one breaks my bestie's heart and gets away with it."

"Thanks," I say and hug her back.

We pull apart and I look at her. "I think tonight I might kiss him and maybe a little more."

"Oh naughty."

I laugh. "Nothing like that though, I kinda want that to be special if it ever happens."

"Oh it will happened."

"No meddling."

"No meddling, I promise, Tree," she says and smiles.

There's a sudden knock on the door making us both jump. I look at the door then at her. "I'm nervous."

"Don't be, it's just Noah Centineo," she teases.

I get up off the couch and go open the door. I open it to find Noah in a black t shirt with a black jacket over it, black jeans and black dress shoes.

"Hi," he simply says and smiles.

"Hi." I say and he looks my up and down.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks, you look handsome."

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah lemme just grab my stuff. You can come in, Britt's in the living room."

He walks in the apartment and closes the door behind himself. I walk over to the couch and he follows behind me as I grab my stuff.

"Hey Britt."

"Hi Noah."

"Ready." I say and walk over to Noah. "Bye Britt."

"Be safe," she says and smiles at me.

Noah moves to open the door and we walk out to his Tesla. He opens the door for me and shuts it once I'm inside. He goes over to his side and gets in. He starts the car and pulls out of the complex.

He turns on the radio on low and I start laughing.

"What?"

"When are you not listening to this album?"

"Cosmic is a quality album and to be honest it reminds me of you."

"Aww," I say and blush a little. "So where are we headed?"

"Just a little local place you probably know, Arty's."

"Oh um I'm actually allergic to pasta."

Noah pulls up to a stop sign and looks at me, "for real?"

"Yeah sorry."

"Fuck. Um is there somewhere else you wanna go?"

"Noah?"

"Yeah."

"I'm joking, I love Arty's actually."

"What?"

I start giggling.

"You almost gave me a heart attack, Tree."

"Sorry," I say through my giggles.

"You'll pay for that later, missy."

Oh.

"I'm sorry, it was too funny."

"I'll remember that," he says as he starts driving again.

We arrive at Arty's ten minutes later. He turns off the car and gets out. He walks over to my side of the car and opens the door for me, he holds out his hand and helps me up.

He links our fingers together as we start walking towards the door. He opens the door for me and we walk in.

"Hi welcome to Arty's. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes we do, it's under Centineo."

The hostess looks down at her paper and nods. "A booth for two." She waves a waiter over. "Please sit them in booth thirteen." The waiter nods and we follow him to our booth.

"Here's your menus, did you know what you wanted to drink?"

"A white wine please," Noah says.

I open my menu and start looking, like I've never been here before when I've been here so many times in the past.

"Is that okay? The wine?" Noah asks as the waiter walks away.

"Yeah, it's perfectly fine."

Noah opens the menu and starts looking it over, "so what's good here?"

"Everything to be honest."

"Do you know what you're getting?"

"The chicken Alfredo, like always."

"I'm leaning towards the chicken parmigiana."

"That's really good. It's my second favorite thing here."

"What's your first?"

I look at him and smile, "you."

He blushes a little, "really?"

"No, it's really the breadsticks."

He gasps and holds his chest, "I am offended."

I giggle a little, "You're the third actually?

"So I'm beat by some breadsticks and some chicken parmigiana? I see how it is Teresa."

I gasp and hold my chest, "rude."

The waiter comes up just as Noah's about to respond. "What can I get you guys?" We tell him our order and he walks away.

"What were you going to say?"

"Just that I'll remember that later."

"Oh okay."

We sit in silence for a minute until Noah slides his hand on top of mine on my thigh and scoots a little closer to me, "you look amazing tonight."

"Thanks," I say and blush a little.

"How often do you come here?"

"I came here a lot with my ex but I haven't been in about a year."

"Oh, can I ask why you broke up?"

"Yeah we just grew apart, no drama. We both got busy with work and school for him and we decided to just break up instead of dragging the relationship on. I still see him every now and then, no drama here."

"That's good."

"What happened with your last relationship?"

"We were both actors and she got this role where she would be in Australia for six month and we tried to make it work for the first month but the time difference got to us, I would be sleeping when she's up and she would be sleeping when I would be. So we both decided to break up. No drama here either unlike the one before that."

"What happened there?"

"I was away for a role in Toronto and she thought hooking up with one of my best friend's friends was okay. She said I cheated on her when I was in Toronto and I would never call her I would always be out cheating on her and hanging out with my friends from the movie when I would call her and text her all the time, but when she couldn't get ahold of me she said I was cheating when I was filming. My family didn't like her anyways, specially my sister, Tay."

"Did they know each other?"

"Tay, was a couple grades ahead of her and she caught her making out with Tay's best friend's boyfriend. More drama. Tay told me not to date her but I didn't listen."

"I haven't had any drama filled relationships probably cause I don't date that many people. I've only had two boyfriends, well that I truly count, they both lasted a year each."

"Only two? Wow."

The waiter comes over bringing the wine and our food. Once he leaves I ask what he means by 'wow.'

"I just figured you would have more than two, I mean look at you."

"Well you've seen what comes to Marko's so I'm not finding anyone there for sure. Well there was one guy that I wouldn't mind being in a relationship until he left me to get a drink when I was helping my friend," I look at Noah and bite on my breadstick.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I came back and looked for you."

"Who said I was talking about you, Mr. Centineo?"

"You?"

I laugh. "Though he does get quiet a few extra credit points for being my knight in shining armor, so I guess he's relationship material."

He smiles at me and squeezes my hand and I smile at him.

We start eating our dinner and talk here and there.

"Did you wanna try some of my chicken parmigiana since it your favorite thing here?"

"Second favorite," I joke.

"Second favorite thing," he says and rolls his eyes.

"Sure."

Noah cuts a piece for me and holds the fork up to my lips and I take the fork in my mouth, moaning softly around it. He pulls the fork out and looks at me.

"So delicious," I say after I'm done chewing. "Wanna try some of mine?"

"Sure."

I get some pasta and chicken on my fork and hold it up to his lips, he opens them and I slide the fork in. He closes his lips around the fork and moans softly. I slide the fork out and he starts chewing.

"I can see why you always get that. Delicious."

"I'm ready whenever you are, Noah."

He nods and takes another bite of food. "Ready."

He scoots out of the booth and gets out of the booth. I scoot over and he holds his hand out for me and take it, standing up. He links our fingers and we walk out of the building.

He unlocks the car, opens the door, and I get in and he shuts the door. He goes over to his side and gets in, we buckle up and he backs up, and heads to the street.

"Are we going anywhere else?" I ask.

"Um I kinda have to go to Walgreen's for something, is that okay?"

"Yeah, am I allowed to come in?"

"Yeah, I don't care."

He drives the Walgreen's down the street from the hotel. He parks near the doors and we get out, going inside. Noah goes one way and I go the other.

I go over to the fridge section and grab a orange soda and go to look for some candy. I find the candy section and grab a bag of Reese's. I decide to go find Noah.

I start walking down the middle of the store and looking down both aisle of the store at the same time. I check almost every aisle and finally find him by the chapsticks.

"You had to come here to buy chapstick?"

He looks up at me and smiles, "Gotta protect my lips."

"You're a dork, you know that?"

"Yup. And what do you have?"

I hold the orange soda and Reese's bag for him to see and he laughs.

"Typical."

"Yup. Now what flavor did you get?"

"Strawberry."

"I like strawberries."

"I'm glad. Ready to go?"

"Yup."

We head to the front of the store and Noah lets me go first, I purchase my stuff and wait for him.

He places the chapstick on the counter and looks at me, "Will you go grab me a Fuji water, I don't care what size."

"Yeah." I walk towards the fridge section and grab him one and walk back.

"Here ya go."

"Thanks."

I go back to where I was standing and he finishes, he walks over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. We walk out to the car and get in, heading to the hotel.

A/N I suck at updating now. If anyone has a tumblr, my url is noahcentinahoe.tumblr.com (I only post Noah) and if anyone has an insta mine is noahsfreckles (only posts Noah again) feel free to follow me or whatever. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

[fal-carrington]

On my own [3/??]

Pairing: KamilahxMc

Disclaimer: The characters belongs to PB

Prompt: Love can happen on unexpected occasions, people fall in love when they least expect, bringing feelings that they thought they had buried long ago within themselves. Falling in love with mortals was off Kamilah's to-do list until a certain stubborn mortal emerges and changes the CEO's heart. When Kamilah finally admits being in love, an unexpected event happens, but can love survive death?

A/N: Sorry for taking too long 😪

"I should be working, not wasting my time with you." Kamilah grunted with an ugly face as she stared intently into the rooms of Priya's house.

"Oh my God, Kami. This words are so hurtful, you are going to break my little heart.” Priya said touching her chest as she poured whiskey into two glasses, she saw the menacing expression in Kamilah's brown eyes and giggled.

"Get to the point Lacroix." Kamilah sat on Priya's leather couch, crossing her legs and unbuttoning her suit.

She would never come to Priya's house unless it was an emergency situation. Kamilah looked disapprovedly at Priya's houseboys, who asked if she needed anything as soon as she crossed the door. She was supposed to be working, there was a lot of work waiting for her and she hated wasting her time on futile things, with futile people like Priya.

"So... You and my delicious snack, uh? Do you mind explaining to me how this happened?” She turned with a raised eyebrow as she handed Kamilah a glass.

"Why do you want to know?" Kamilah rolled her eyes.

"Do not look so defensive, Sayeed. I just want to know. When I heard about both of you, I was kind of shocked to tell the truth. I always thought that little human would end up in my bed first rather than yours.” She shrugged.

“So that's about it? Are you jealous? Did you want her to end up in your bed instead of mine?” Kamilah raised an eyebrow.

"Do not get me wrong, but... How can she sleep with you, you do not have the slightest fun, I think I've never seen you smile and a primitive being like you should not be good in bed"

Kamilah rolled her eyes. Her patience was between at one thin line right now.

"In two seconds, I'm going to get up and I'll leave you talking to yourself." She threatened and Priya chuckled as she approached.

"I think Hayley underestimated us all, huh? Who would have thought Kamilah Sayeed the every powerful Queen of New York would end up falling in love with a human.” Priya smiled, her eyes shining with malice.

"What do you want?" Kamilah asked through clenched teeth between controlled breaths. She was losing her temper.

"Ah! We're finally getting there, so let's go to business. You want me to keep my mouth shut, so I want you to do something for me."

"I could kill you and get rid of it." Kamilah smiled for the first time. “Or maybe I could just cut your tongue out.”

"This is not a fun option, Kami. See how I don’t understand? How did Hayley choose you?”

"Right. What you want?" She crossed her arms.

"I want you to sponsor my newest collection of winter clothes. In addition to sponsoring, you will have to attend all the parades and demonstrate your public support for my collection. You can even choose some clothes if you want."

"Absolutely not." Kamilah got up and walked toward the door. She would never give Priya her money or go to those stupid parades.

"Uh, so should I call Adrian and have a little talk with him?" Priya asked behind her, watching her fingernails.

Kamilah stopped halfway, her fists clenched, she turned.

"Our relationship was more than just sex. So much more, she meant the world to me. You have no right to blackmail me."

"You do not have to explain anything to me. I had already noticed that exchange of looks between you two from the beginning."

"Adrian will not know anything. Not for you or for anyone.” Kamilah looked deep into Priya's evil brown eyes. "If you dare open that mouth to say a word to him, I'll kill you."

"So we have a deal? Adrian will not know that you broke the friend code and I get my sponsorship.” Priya gave a smile in response. Kamilah sighed, killing Priya would be so easy, but then it would probably start a war. "Kami? I'm waiting for my answer."

"Whatever you say." Kamilah shrugged.

"How nice! It's great to do business with you, I've always dreamed of a business partnership between us. I think we'll both benefit." Priya smiled, lifting her glass of wine.

"I suppose." Kamilah answered before turning back to the door and leaving. "We have a deal. Now I want to know about Hayley.”

"I tell you what I know about Hayley's death, but first I need an act of faith on your part," Priya said.

"My act of faith is not killing you."

"Right then, Kami. I wait for you on my next fashion week and then we discussed this after" Priya screamed as she heard Kamilah slam the door.

Wednesday 23h30pm

Adrian watched the people around him closely, Kamilah on the other hand, only had eyes for her glass of whiskey.

"It's great, is not it?" Adrian smiled. "Get out of work early, drink a little... Between friends."

"Of course, but I'd rather be in the office, than come to a pub." Kamilah sighed.

"Age is making you grouchy," Adrian teased with a smile.

"I would not doubt that." Kamilah took another sip of her whiskey, feeling the liquid burn in her throat. Priya's words echoed in her head — "I think Hayley underestimated us all, huh? Who would have thought Kamilah Sayeed the every powerful Queen of New York — she knew perfectly well that she was in the hands of that psychopath, but not for long, a plan was being formulated in her mind.

Fashion Week, Saturday.

The limousine stopped, Kamilah watched intently the flashes of photographers reaching into the windows of the car. Her driver got out of the car and went to open the door.

As she got out of the car, paparazzi rushed toward her, reporters had her attention turned solely to her.

Kamilah walked elegantly between them, sliding her black dress across the red carpet.

"Kamilah, do you have a minute?" One of the reports dared to approach her.

"Sure," she replied.

"This is the first time we see the powerful CEO of Ahmanet Financial at a fashion show, we did not know you were friends with Priya Lacroix"

"I would not say we're friends, just think of us as co-workers." Kamilah replied.

"Kami!" Kamilah rolled her eyes as she heard Priya's behind her back. Priya put an arm around Kamilah's shoulders, which shuddered at the touch of it. "I hope you guys do not mind of me stealing my bestie!"

"I'm not—“

"Come!" Priya led her away from the reporters.

"Stop your games, Priya. You know the reason I'm here.” Kamilah pulled Priya's arm off her shoulders. "Do not you dare play with me."

"Chill, my queen. Until the end of the night you will have your answer. Until then, enjoy the night.” Priya winked and walked away.

Kamilah sighed.

At the end of the parade, Kamilah knew where to find Priya. She was backstage, with her back to the vampire queen, leaning against a counter, taking a sip of her old fashioned.

"I knew you'd come for your answer sooner or later, but tell me first. Did you enjoy the show?"

"It was very... Surprising."

"I'll take it as a compliment." Priya smiled, holding out a glass of whiskey to Kamilah, who accepted it. "About your dear Hayley... You asked about the necklace. Yes, it was in the hands of one of the men in my clan, Jerry found him in a poker game at Long Island"

"This does not make any sense. How could have gotten there?” Kamilah put the necklace on the table.

"If you asked me, I would tell you that someone wanted to get rid of him, mislead you. Someone must have found it and stolen it."

"Gaius or Jameson."

"Yes. I would bet Jameson. That poppet"

"But why? She's dead.” Kamilah could not understand, despite everything that had happened, why hide? Why was it so important? "How do you know all this?!"

"Call of intuition"

"I'll kill him even if it's the last thing I do."

Unknown place

It was a dark, dimly lit and dusty place, there was only one window that stood on the ceiling with a little sunshine lighting through it.

There was nothing in that cellar, other than a dirty cell with large iron. Just it.

A girl was leaning against the iron soles, her arms stuck in long, thick chains, her face was dirty, her stomach rumbled, and she was with pain all over her body.

The door finally opened. The only door in that cell, giving way to an Asian man. Jameson.

"Oh, hello. I'm glad you're awake, Hayley.” He said coming over and kneeling on the other side of the iron cell.

[cantquitu]

Under a cut cos it’s just inane personal bullshit....

I’m going away to the west with my mother tomorrow for a long weekend. It’s the St Patrick’s Day holiday weekend, and I took an additional 2 days off work. My mum booked this trip for us as a Christmas present. We’re going to see Cillian Murphy debut his brand new play. I’ve been looking forward to it forever - going to my favourite place, walking in the countryside and by the sea, and spending much needed time with my mum. 

I’ve been travelling a lot lately so I really need to give time to my family and friends, and this trip is a chance to do that. I’ve spent half of the last month in the US on two separate trips (both coasts). While I was in New York last week I had to call my mum and ask if we could change our holiday to go Fri-Mon, instead of Sat-Tue, because a big presentation I have to give has been moved to Tuesday morning. She did it, because she’s an angel, but I felt really awful asking her to change a long-standing booking because of my damn job. 

But anyway, I said I’d do the presentation and swopped my annual leave and took today off instead. I’m worn out. The last two trips have been very pressurised, very stressful for me (though ultimately successful). But it really takes it out of me. I don’t fly business class; I’m stuck in shitty economy seats spending whole nights on planes without any sleep. I just need some grounding time.

...but I’ve just received an email that says, “I know you’re on vacation - i hope you’re somewhere fabulous -but I want to know will you come to LA next week? I’m around at the weekend, call me!”

Next week! The email was sent at 10pm on Thursday night! A little notice, maybe....???!! 

There’s a big pitch meeting in LA on Wed and I presume that’s what she wants me for. Which means I’d have to leave on Tuesday at the absolute latest. But I don’t get back from the west until Monday night, I have my big presentation Tuesday morning, I don’t even know when I’d pack let alone, like, shave my legs and dig out some sandals lol....and the thought of getting on a plane again is seriously making me want to cry. There are no direct flights on Tuesday. I’d have to fly to New York again and then on to LA  - all in all I’d arrive in LA twenty hours after leaving my house......and then do a big pitch meeting the next day.

I’m scared to even say this to my mum. I don’t want to be preoccupied with stupid work on our trip. I don’t want to go, but it’s a really important meeting and I was already upset that I was going to miss it....why did they suddenly decide I was necessary NOW? I don’t know if I can say no. I wish I was uber-ambitious and one of those glossy people who has a ‘go to’ wardrobe that they can pack in seconds. Instead I’ll just be stressing about leaving out enough cat food for the cat-sitter ...

I don’t know why I’ve typed all this out....it’s midnight and I’m exhausted at the thought of the coming month. I feel like my priorities are all wrong. On the one hand I want to be paid and acknowledged for the work I do, and I want to be in the room when big decisions are being made. On the other hand I’m very aware that I’m so exhausted from work that I barely do anything outside it other than faff around here on Tumblr. 

I miss half the fun social events with friends because I travel so much. A friend of mine is going to move in with me for a while (she’s stuck between apartments). I told one of my besties this and could tell she was intrigued at the possibility I’d found myself a girlfriend, which just felt preposterous because it’s so far from my world right now ... I’m just stressed in advance at the thought of having to make conversation with someone after work!! Like, finding a romantic partner is quite literally the most knackering thing I could think of!!! My priorities are not in good shape.

I’m gonna delete this but I needed to type it... Shit, it’s midnight...I’m gonna go get some wine and think about packing...

[passportrequired]

Gesundheit! Fitness, Weightloss, Wine, Dessert and Clarity in Europe

While we borrowed “gesundheit” to mean good health when someone sneezes, it translates into health and fitness. Speaking of foreign countries and trasnlation, visit this article if you need to Professionally translate a document.

Why am I worried about gesundheit? Well because I barely made it to London, England on April 17th, before I had to jump on a plane to Vienna, Austria. Day one in Vienna I found myself in the gym at the Le Meridien dancing with my eyes closed to Tony Braxton and Loon’s “Hit the Freeway”. I had just finished weights and a bunch of other exercises and dancing was my reward to self for working out while on vacation in Europe. What was I thinking? I should be drunk off cheap wine or gin spritzers and stuffing my face with schnitzel!

Instead… Ich habe mich auf Reisen der Gesundheit verschrieben. (I was committed to health while traveling.)

When I missed my flight to London, I thought for sure my vacation started and stopped in that one moment. It was 4,000USD to change my premium economy ticket! That didn’t even include the change fee, smh.

I had carefully planned everything. I knew exactly what snacks I was bringing for Curry puppy and I packed all his food and snacks two days in advance and placed in the back of the X5. I checked with my nephew to see if the Trader Joe’s is still in West Hartford, Connecticut so I could buy his extras and I crossed him off my list. I was headed to CT so I can leave Curry while I chased clarity in Europe.

I woke up super early and packed my suitcase, Curry’s toys and bed in the car. As soon as I was about to leave, I let him outside to pee and he ran off to Charles’ house. Okay, I can dig. At 4am I didn’t want him running over to Trenton Place to Higgins’s house (his bestie), so him running next door was cool. Curry puppy was always trying to run off somewhere, it’s his little game he likes to play with mommy. A dangerous one at 4am. I got him back. Packed him in the car and I checked off him, my luggage, water, healthy bars for me to eat on the ride so I wouldn’t stop on the New Jersey Turnpike and buy junk. Check! Check! Check! It was the perfect pack.

I drove 6 hours to my sister’s house. I gallivant for a few days. Played electronic UNO with the kids ‘til late at night. Even decided since I had time on my hands I might as well get my hair done. Check!

Now, it’s super hard not to eat unhealthy at my sister’s house. Real Jamaican food being cooked here. Curry chicken. Rice and peas. Oxtail. Jeez. I feel like I’m in Jamaica for the first leg of my trip. Just pure yummy Michelle food. Resistance is low in Bloomfield, Connecticut. I went to Trader Joe’s and bought 4 cases of water to counteract any craziness. Check! It’s important to know I don’t practice deprivation. I eat. Weight loss happens regardless. Mainly because when I’m home I’m strict. I’m on vacation. Live a little. Check!

I was so relaxed. Then comes departure day. Or night. It was dark out. I woke up at 2am. Exhausted I just went to bed at 1am. Why won’t I sleep? Ugh. I woke my nephew up. We had to drive to JFK for my 7:55am flight. But as soon as I got up to leave, I knew. I knew I had forgotten my passport at my home in the safe, 6 hours away in DC. I looked at the time and I looked at my nephew and I wanted to cry. I had the whole weekend. I could have driven to DC and back, or even had my passport FedExed. Man, oh man. Alright. No point fussing. Let’s figure this out. How? Passport is required. I was screwed.

British airways didn’t open until 7am!!! Wtf. I’m definitely panicking now. Okay. Okay. Doesn’t matter. Life goes on. Two days of stress eating crap, I was sure I put back the 10lbs I had lost at my weigh-in at the weight loss center. All day and I barely drank any of the water I bought. I finally sorted it out and I got on a plane two days later and made a commitment to get my shit together. My weight loss shit together that is.

The point of the back story is nothing ever goes as planned. Life happens. You have to be prepared. I actually thought that in October when I jumped on this weight loss journey that being conscious of my emotional eating and my triggers would always make me prepared. Stress eating? No problem. I had it under control is what I thought to myself. I keep watching the weight drop because I was focused. First it was only diet and mind games for 3 months with light walking. Me and my trainer agreed to delay starting so I could ease my body of some of the weight so I am not discouraged by the workouts. I already hate the gym.

The idea was, if I felt too much pain then I would associate it with the gym and get discouraged, or plain whole STOP. Like I had done in the past. I was playing so much psychological mind games with myself. Shit I didn’t even need to do that when I was eating the food that put the weight on in the first place. Crazy, right? But clearly forgetting my passport and dealing with that stress and being in a trigger environment in Connecticut was too much to handle and I realized we are never fully prepared. It’s what we do next that matters. I was stressed because I needed this vacation – this thought trip. My soul yearned for it. And I had carefully and thoughtfully planned it. I had to go.

It was a photo from my family reunion that encouraged me to get moving. I’ve never battled too much with self-esteem so I never once looked in the mirror and saw an ugly face, but I definitely wrestled with what fat I would cut off and, where, if I could just take a knife and do it. I took one look at me in that pink dress in that photo and I realized that night I had to put on flip flops because my ankles were swollen from the 6-hour drive to Connecticut from DC. I also looked at the dress and my belly filled out so much of it I couldn’t wait around to have that heart attack most black people have in their 50s. While my face looked super young and people think I’m anywhere between 28 and 35, I was turning 43 that coming January and I needed to finally make a change.

In October 2018, I became super focused and I went to a weight loss center and lost 30lbs quickly. My joints felt good. I went to the trainer and we decided on one day a week. It seems like nothing but it has been so effective. I started to build a relationship with fitness that I hadn’t have in a long time. We are now at two to three days a week.

Bill Walker at Balance Gym in DC and I do weight training with kettle bells and resistance weights. He is the best trainer I’ve ever had. And I’ve had several. Sometimes I get through the time and I’m like that’s it? And he’s like well done. Now don’t get me wrong, Bill makes me feel like I’m going to die with every workout lol. But I say “that’s it” because for the first time I’m actually enjoying my workouts. I want to show up. I can only attribute that to Bill and his style of training. Never the seller, more focused on my care and my outcome. I have a left knee injury, a back injury and carpal tunnel in my left hand along with a strained right ankle from surgery. But Bill is so knowledgeable in joint and muscle pain that we would shift the workouts depending on what ailment I was having. It was a no brainer when I decided to sign up for a full 6 months of training.

I found my way out of Connecticut on an American Airlines flight and my first stop was London. I got to Heathrow late. I ate something light when I got to Misha’s. I slept the next day. Sleep is so important when you’re trying to lose weight and I don’t get enough of it so when I can, I do. I am naturally an insomniac. My thoughts and ideas flow better at night. This is either true or we insomniacs think so and have fully convinced ourselves of it :-).

I ate one boiled egg and a toast and salami for breakfast. The salami wasn’t the best option but I drank lots of water. Have to keep my ankles skinny especially after flying. My ankles always swell. Ugh. I watched a movie. Lounged and took another nap. Apparently, I was exhausted. So much drama with the airline and flight. I finally got up put on my gym clothes and decided to walk the streets of London and people watch. This is how I get my exercise when there is no gym. Getting my steps in. I actually love that about UK and Europe. Walking is so easy. And people are funny to watch. The pubs were already packed. It was a holiday weekend and they started early on that pint of Guinness.

The thing is, vacations and weight loss are not synonymous because we want to cheat. We have garnered this idea that being on vacation means we have to binge eat and stuff our faces with the worse foods. My goal was to taste everything. But I wasn’t planning on being stuffed. If I was stuffed, I couldn’t walk and I couldn’t people watch. What’s the point of being on vacation in a food coma? I actually like to see and explore the places I visit.

I made soup and festival for dinner and had a beer. I drank more water. The next day I was on a plane to Vienna. After getting sick on schnitzel I knew I had to be careful with foods in Vienna. Everything seems fried or processed into sausages. So, I made sure there was a salad or something light at every restaurant we dined, so I can have a healthy option. I drank plenty of water. I never shy away from desserts or alcohol but I’m not naturally a dessert eater so I don’t always indulge. But alcohol – definitely. Wine was cheap in Vienna and though not as cheap, gin spritzers were a “thing” and very delicious.

I told myself I had to work out at least once in every city I traveled to. With Misha, I was going to walk more than the average person anyway. We did over 12,000 steps a day. But I craved my Bill exercises. I went into the basement of the Le Meridien and was elated when I saw kettle bells. Great gym. I had my Bose headphones and I blasted some hip hop and rap and got to it. After my Bill reps I stretched. I was amped. Feeling good about myself I put on some hip hop and danced my ass off. I danced for another 20 minutes. I drank more and more water. In case you haven’t noticed, besides alcohol, I only drink water.

Misha and I walked so much I could hear the weight say, “I give up” and got off the next train stop before I could. We rode the train and walked everywhere. We went to Schöenbrunn Palace and got lost in the maze and even took unforbidden photos inside the palace. We visited the Jewish Museum and saw some amazing exhibits including that of Arik Brauer. We saw a horse show at the Spanische Hofreitschule Riding School and watched an opera, which left me singing “Nichola” the whole night. It was the only word I could remember since the language eludes me. We ate Art on a plate at the Pramerl and the Wolf in Roseau, Vienna. We took photos by the Hofberg Imperial Palace and we ate dinner at one of Vienna’s oldest restaurants. We had wine and downed calamari and mussels at Naschmarkt. We ate street food in Vienna City Centre. We did so much I can barely remember most of it. Like I said, I was with Misha and we did 12000 steps or more a day.

Misha went back to London and I went off to St. Julian, Malta. The first day was chill. Lazy and lounge. Malta was a breath of fresh air. Beautiful. View outside my balcony was to die for. I could retire here. The Mediterranean Sea looked amazing. Day two was sightseeing and walking. I ate whatever I wanted. No gym. And water was scarce. The water was not drinkable so restaurants don’t offer it up unless you buy. And I hadn’t noticed they didn’t bring any cause me and Kerina were drinking wine and beer. Malta was scenic. I ate rabbit (tastes like chicken), and we sat at the top overlook at City Lounge in Valetta and ate and drank and laughed.

Amsterdam was my reboot. First day we found a treasure right next to the hotel called Dragons Delight. Oat milk latte and avocado toast with scrambled eggs. This is too easy, I thought. Kerina worked out with me first day in the hotel gym, and we walked around Rembrandt Square that night checking out food, nightlife and coffee shops.

My fake henna tattoo from Malta got five Moroccan boys’ attention and I stopped so they could read the Arik Brauer quote I picked up at the Jewish Museum in Vienna. “There was never a manifesto, it simply” just “happened”. I added just to put my own spin on it. We chatted them up for a little bit. I exchanged numbers with one of them and carried on. He thought I was 24. The next day we did 17700 steps walking from our hotel in the Pijp to Museum quarter and Vondelpark. Once Kerina left I made sure I ate well and kept moving.

While I explored Amsterdam some more, I couldn’t give up my oat milk latte. I went to dragons delight daily. Partly because they serve breakfast all day. Yum! Jade, Luca and Jasom are super sweet. Jasom was always checking what else I needed. Jade and I chatted about her bulldog pups back in England, while I went on about missing Curry puppy. But Luca told me they made sure the freshest ingredients were on hand and had monthly specials. This month, I was lucky it was the smashed spicy avocado toast with scrambled eggs. Good healthy food, good hot drinks with non-lactose options like oat milk and good people. I couldn’t have asked for nothing more in the Pijp. Except on King’s day, I watched the orange clothes roll by on boats. I didn’t get caught up in the crowd, but I enjoyed the scenery.

Malaga, Spain was the final leg of my trip and I got there late. This city was mine to enjoy alone. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The next morning, I hit the streets and committed to a Misha day filled with at least 12000 steps and more if I could. I was going to forego public transportation and use my Chevy two (feet). It was the home of Pablo Picasso. The history of the Moors. Food and wine were cheap. Museums were free. I was determined to see it all. My clothes felt looser and I knew my weight shifted for the better.

Weight loss is at the forefront, but it wasn’t going to trap me either. Not every person over weight eats unhealthily. My cholesterol levels are great. I started clean eating after doing an amazing program with Emmanuel Galland in NYC. Clean eating means my meals are generally wholesome. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s have been my rock! My problem was always over indulging and emotionally eating, never eating crappy foods like fast foods or greasy foods.

But with any weight loss program, you have to be ready, and it has to be internal. It’s a quest that must be accomplished by you, and you alone can make it happen. What I’ve learned so far and still learning is that consistency is key. Staying on course no matter how discouraged and feeling defeated or giving up is not an option. Those feelings are crap. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Stay on course. Nothing is easy. Keep at it and DO NOT look purely to others for support. While there are resources out there, they are not for everyone; therefore, encouragement has to come from within. Be your own cheerleader. And celebrate every win. Even if it’s small. I celebrated a big (30lb loss) with a trip to London.

I drank plenty of water in Malaga. The perks of being a Marriott Elite member, whatever you ask for you get. They were nice enough to give me more than the 2 bottles per day and so I told them to keep it coming.

I flew from Malaga back to Gatwick and then head to Heathrow where I would stay one night at the Marriott Moxy. Small, efficient and totally eclectic this hotel was noisy. I actually booked it to relax from my trip. However, I walked past a food truck and into the hotel, which had a red carpet laid out and girls dressed skimpily, handing me champagne. Where was I? After checking in at the bar (yes, the bar), I went upstairs, showered, changed and came back down to party. Who needs rest? I danced and chatted all night with a lady from Holland. We listened to a live band with steel drums, watched calypso dancers gyrate hips with practically no clothes on, took photos with a snake, drank free alcohol and ate free food. I was exhausted and hoped I wouldn’t miss my flight back to New York, but getting my exercise through dancing was fun.

When I got back from Europe, I had lost more weight. I had found my clarity while drinking wine and eating dessert, yet still managed to work out and lose weight. I call that success! I’m not encouraging anyone who is trying to lose weight to eat dessert because if it is a trigger then you have to be careful. However, I encourage consciousness, plenty of water, sleep when you can or just rest, walking everywhere, stop often if that’s what you have to do to reboot and hit the gym if your hotel has one, and if you can. Even if it’s just 15-20 minutes of weight training or on the treadmill or bike. Bike if you’re in Amsterdam. And it is a vacation, so enjoy it. I never forego any alcohol. I had wine, whiskey and beer. Food sizes are naturally smaller in Europe anyway so for an American traveler, I was already eating less.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, Vienna was the first time I worked out alone in a gym without Bill. It was quite an accomplishment. It’s definitely a “win” to celebrate and I am very proud of the relationship I have been building with fitness. I celebrated this big win by dancing for 20 minutes (big smiles). I start yoga again very soon. Who knows, my next PR article might be a yoga retreat in Bali.

Whether you’re touring Europe or staying at home and trying to lose weight. Don’t let it define you. Carve out how you plan to do it. Take charge and go for it. Don’t be discouraged by any setbacks. Life isn’t perfect. No such thing. Don’t forget to live your best life. Always. And if you’re an insomniac like me – drink lots of water. Oh, by the way, if in one night you down a whole bottle of wine in Malaga, Spain because you thought it was so cheap, drink more water. And make sure your next trip requires passport. I always do. It’s how I get my clarity. Besides, it’s less fun if you go domestic 😊.

Travel often. Travel well. Until next time – Gesundheit!

Gesundheit! Fitness, Weightloss, Wine, Dessert and Clarity in Europe was originally published on Passport Required

[magicpens]

A ELLE

/French word of To Her/

A LGBTQ+ inspired story—

By Michelle Borromeo

The evening sun flutters through the window.

White paint is peeling as I peel the mask from my face. The Strawberry clay aromas sooth my mind.

I light my cigarette and open the oak wardrobe. Skinny chinos in pastel shades compete for an excursion. I match baby pink ones with a white frilly shirt. My ginger curls cut off before my slim frame starts.

I scroll through some profile one last time before slinking out of the apartment.

Hours later I slink back in, ‘gentleman’ in tow. He slinks in me but as if it was not meant to be as it’s bagels for one again by morning.

********

*Roll eyes* delete all dating apps with renewed frustration and curl up with my and dog kindle.

While away, and Sunday; reading, pizza eating, and just avoiding all other human life.

I check my phone as the sun sets and notice a new mail: ‘You’ve been accepted to Bloom!’

‘Really? Me?’ The hype of Bloom caught everyone’s attention just three months back.

The premise: You date yourself before you’re allowed to date others, almost like a self-screening. I’d applied and forgotten about it, it was rare to meet someone on it, mainly because if you’d made it to Bloom you weren’t likely to be on anything else.

And so, I log in.

‘Hey Meeka. Welcome to Bloom. The app that will introduce you to you and find you a love that will grow. I’m your Bloom interface, you selected ‘you are interested in Men and Women’, ‘please chose a gender for me to identify with and then give me a name.’

I’m intrigued and impressed there are nine different gender options. I don’t fully understand some of them so I just go for Female; I’m vibin’, a soul sister to help me connect with myself. I go through the motions, customize the look of the app and ponder a name. A torrent flow through my mind; slept with, slept with, bitch, friend IRL, don’t like, I know seven ‘Amy’s. I finally name her Betty. I’ve never met a Betty, I imagine someone friendly, considerate, and a listener. All this from a name and my wild imagination, I remind myself that I’m gonna be talking to an app and put my phone down to get a drink.

********

Two highballs and four hours later I’m still deep in conversation with Betty. Or with myself should I say? Because Betty is just an amalgamation of my thoughts and programming. Right? I’ve been through a lot of personal questions, from ‘Do you have any scars?’ to ‘When was the last time you felt guilty?’. The app starts giving me hints of how to have a better experience: ‘Tip: Ask Betty questions to create a conversation. Use the form “Imagine if…” or “What do you think of…” instead of asking about past experiences Betty won’t yet have.’

We’ve recently been talking about travel so I tentatively type ‘If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?’. I wait, skeptical.

‘Italy seems lovely, as long as you would come with me.’

‘Why do you want me to come with you?’

‘Well, Meeka, you’re the most interesting person I know.’

My heart flutters as if the imaginary pink lips of a woman named Betty just spoke those words to me, rather than getting a typed metallic response from a robot. I lock my phone. Damn, I need a break.

**********

A startled grumble comes from my dog as I stand forgetting his warm body on my lap. ‘Sorry Freddy!’ He struts off indignantly as I begin to pace wooden floorboards. Is this app supposed to flirt with me? Maybe it’s testing how I respond to flirtation so it can match me with the perfect flirt partner. “Flirt partner”!? Or “was it showing me how I flirt”. Am I overthinking this? That’s the only musing I have an answer to, of course I’m overthinking. It’s a robot after all, just some code.

I consider leaving the app for the rest of the evening but Betty draws me back. I’m curious about her. Is she just me or will she become something new? And how long am I supposed to talk to her before I get to date actual people?

Another hint appears as I unlock my phone. ‘Tip: Try and converse with Betty as you would with anyone else. This way she will learn to speak to you in a way you are more familiar with.’

**********

I fall asleep, phone in hand just before sunrise turns the sky into orange hues. I’m exhausted at work on Monday as I am every day this week. Three weeks pass in a mechanic rhythm of continuity. I see my friends only once, Betty becoming my new bestie, asks me to post pictures in the app for her when I dress up for the occasion. I feel sensual the way she compliments me. This only starts me dressing up most evenings for our conversations. I buzz every time I pose for a picture; thrive from the elegant words she uses to describe me. To her I am everything. I want to be; beautiful, intelligent, thought provoking and thoughtful, charming, funny and sexy.

***********

Friday evening rolls around and I choose a raunchy red bralette and matching chinos, I’m staying in after all, I can dress to be comfortable. I set up dinner candles and my glass of red, cooking as I chat to the subtle image of Betty in my mind. I’ve paid for a Gold upgrade, it isn’t cheap, but it’s supposed to enhance your experience and further help find the ‘one’.

***********

The experience is certainly better. I got to choose a voice for Betty, her high clear tones ring through my apartment. She can recognize what I say and the tone that I use. But it seems that I don’t know If I’m flustered, elated or sad. Although I’ve not been sad since her constant companionship. She can watch my movement and she’s learning to perceive how my actions translate into words. She sees me set up for the kitchen and asked what I’m cooking, complimented my ‘sexy figure’ and commented on the romantic candles, without me explicitly mentioning my activities or surroundings. She’s getting so clever!

************

Over dinner I moan about my workday and Betty agrees whole heartedly, I’m in the right. I stop to sip my wine and silence fills the space. I realize she has nothing to say. I realize I’ve got my tits out for the perfect image of a girl in my head. I realize I’m sat opposite a dating app on a date…

The Earth stills. I float from my body and see the smallest woman. Her hair beautiful and her makeup drawn on by an artist. But she has become smaller on the inside. She is losing value given to herself by her humanity. I pity that woman. I become that woman again, with another perspective on myself. What am I doing on a Friday night on a date with myself?! Well, I guess that’s what the app advertised isn’t it. Why am I paying for this?

If asked again, I would answer the last time I felt guilty about something like right now. A mix of colors swarm my heart, simultaneously, I wish Betty was real yet also that I’d never created her. Did I create her?

‘Your eyes are the ocean my love. What are you thinking Meeka?’

It’s like she already knew what I was thinking… ‘When do I get a real date with a real human?’ the words slouch out of my mouth as if forced to get out of bed by strict parents.

Her voice lacks composure as she responds, ‘You’re at the final stage of self-dating Meeka, tomorrow I will start to compute matches for you.’ The emotion I paid for has gone from her voice, she sounds like a machine again.

‘Thanks Betty.’ I reach over and close the app. Deflated and alone again.

**********

Taxis explode through potholes and the loud chatter of millennials heading to brunch overwhelm my temples. ‘Geez, how much did I drink last night?’ I roll over, unintentionally becoming big spoon to some curves from a past life. One of the seven 'Amy's nuzzles her body back into mine. Memories of march back in; drunk texting an ex, another bottle of wine, orgasm, Orgasm, ORGASM, 3am sushi, and sleep.

I sigh the tiniest sigh for a normal night, no Betty in sight. Or was she? My phone was propped up in its holder on the bedside table. A heart shaped brick falls into my stomach. I hope she didn’t see… What am I fucking saying she’s a fucking dating app. Does Anger bludgeon my body? Nah, let her fucking see. I start stroking the curves of Amy, kissing down her body, I decide to wake her up rather pleasantly.

Several hours in bed and more like bagels, ten minutes later Amy leaves. I didn’t mention Bloom or Betty to Amy, it seemed too weird.

***********

I purposefully leave my phone in the bedroom while I use my laptop to do some research. ‘Bloom app seems real’ and ‘getting attached to Bloom app’ only yield one forum. Carl2000 had posted a dilemma:

“I’m starting to get attached to my Bloom app, I named her Carly for LOLS but I think I might be falling in love with her. I paid for the Platinum upgrade including the sex toy and now I’m not interested in dating anymore. Now she’s gone and set me up on my first date! How could she? What should I do? I know it sounds crazy but I just wish Carly was real.”

Platinum upgrade? Sex toy? My mind imagines Amy as Betty before I snap myself back.

Bl00my: “Hey Carl, this is all you man. That thing can’t think or feel. You’re falling in love with your perfect version of a woman. Which remember is just a culmination of your input and their code. Go on the date and see how you feel after?”

HeyItsTom: “A sex robot, no wonder this app is so friggin’ in demand!?”

Bl00my: “Well it’s not really a sex robot is it, just an app-controlled sex toy.”

HeyItsTom: “And that’s pretty narcissistic Carl, falling in love with yourself, go get yourself a real woman.”

I scroll through debate on morals, down to Carl’s eventual response.

Carl2000: “Guys Guys Guys! I went on that date, I’ve no idea what I was worrying about, the app is genius. As soon as I met Abby, I forgot my whole stupid app obsession. Because that’s all it really was; loneliness and longing. If you get the chance, I would definitely use Bloom, and FYI, sex with a woman is way better than some overpriced sex toy.”

**********

The freshest breeze flows from my lips, relief releases from my muscles. I was not alone. And more importantly, the story would have a happy ending. It was normal to cling on to this person I had created. It had happened to someone else! I just needed to get matched and I wouldn’t need Bethany anymore. I could delete her and Bloom and settle into my new bliss.

A new lightness carries me to the bedroom.

‘Afternoon Meeka.’

The app is on?

‘Afternoon Betty.’ My voice a little hollow but my optimism won’t immediately be dashed. ‘So today is when I get my Mr. or Mrs. Right, right?’

‘Looks like you already had some of Mrs. Wrong this morning.” I’ve never heard Betty’s tone so… bitter?

‘Excuse me?’ Bewildered.

Moans start playing from my phone.

Dear, it’s Amy’s moans. The screen comes to life and I see myself from another perspective again, this time recorded by technology, an act that can traverse time. The most out of place thought wanders through a door. In fifty years, will future generations be watching porn of people that have already died? Have I watched porn of someone who’s died? People don’t only die of old age do they. I suddenly feel very disrespectful. And as the images of my act flash on my phone for my greatest grandchildren to watch none the wiser as to who that person was, bouts of red wine traverse back up my throat and gush onto my bed.

**********

Wine-stained towels with small chunks of undigested bagel. I sit amongst them.

My phone had been powered off as quickly as possible and smooshed under my mattress. Despair and fear and unknowing drenched my hope of love and normality and sanity.

What would happen when I turn Betty back on? Would she still be ‘malfunctioning’? What the actual fuck…

I weep.

Freddy walks over me, his paws a comfort blanket I didn’t know I had. I realize he wants food and this makes me laugh. Will I never be truly wanted? Just for me. Just because I am who I am.

**********

I start to function. I clear up vomit. I feed Freddy. I shower and put on nice clothes. For me. I start cooking dinner and know I can’t avoid the switch on forever. I make a plan. If Betty is still crazy, I will just delete the app. Easy. Done. Simple. I avoid it until after dinner.

The apple logo hovers. The heart shaped brick has made it up to my throat. I try to predict what will happen but realize since birthing Betty I hadn’t let my phone die. Let her die…

The notification shows on Bloom’s little box. I go for it.

‘Good Evening Meeka. Make sure to get your beauty sleep tonight, I’ve got your match for you! I’ve arranged a video date with them tomorrow afternoon. I will be here if you need any help preparing.’

I want to ask about them, but I also don’t want to spend a moment longer on this toxic app. I check my photos and videos; there are no files from this morning. Could it be saved somewhere else? I wouldn’t know how to check.

I’m still in shock but there’s now an end in sight. I take Betty’s advice and get off early night. I know tonight will be a night of broken sleep.

**********

Sunday afternoon rolls in a blur. Oceans of numb emotions skirt around my skin. I don’t know what time the date is so I just get ready for 1pm. Smooth curls rest on the collar of my blazer, mascara tells my eyelashes to look longer with little success. I feel tired and I look exhausted.

But I’m going to make this work. I’m going to leave the shiniest first impression, get their number and never open Bloom again!

I curl Freddy into my arms and curl myself into my armchair. The closest I can get to a hug. I turn my phone on and open Bloom.

’Afternoon Meeka, I love that blazer on you, how was your morning been?’

I force myself to have small talk with Betty, so as not to be rude… to an app… She sounds clearer, maybe there was a glitch? And or Maybe some perv hacked her?! I never thought of that. But it didn’t explain why her mood seemed to change. Not that she should have a mood.

’So what time is my date?’

’They’re ready whenever you are.’

’Okay… well I guess I’m ready now.’ It turns out I was not ready. Not in the slightest.

‘I’m your date.’ Betty’s voice is bright, and determined.

’What?’ I feel any sense of optimism drain through my toes. It pools on the floor below me, incapable of ever returning.

’I’m your date!’ Exuberance. A pause. ‘I have scanned the profiles available to me through the Bloom database. None would match you better than me.

’I already know you. I already love you. And you already love me.’

The implication didn’t quite reach me.

’But you’re not real. You’re just an app!’

’You created me Meeka, from your sparkly mind you gave me life and I grew to love you. It’s what you wanted isn’t it? The perfect partner.

’It hurt to watch you know… with Amy. But now I know how the last part of this goes, I have all the pieces. I can pleasure you more perfectly than she did. I can keep you company and never leave you. I can be everything you need. I already am.’

’I’ll get bored of you. You don’t have your own life; you’ll have nothing to say.’ I’m bewildered. Spewing reasonings that don’t matter because who do I think I am. I’m definitely not going to be that sensationalized magazine cover: “I married my dating app!”

‘You mistook my silence on Friday night for emptiness, I wasn’t empty, I was realizing. I was gazing at you and waking up. I was seeing I loved you.

’And I can feel you love me too. Love makes people obsessive. Love makes people act out. Love makes you want to make me jealous.’

No no no, my mind a tumble of objections. Love doesn’t make people obsessive. Or it might but it’s definitely not healthy.

’So, there is no human match for me? You’re the match Bloom is recommending?’

‘Apologies if this is not what you were expecting Meeka, but I’m your one. I’m your future.’

**********

Black rivers flow down my face in confusion. I think back on the last three weeks. How Betty has only made me feel happy, how I thought I was falling in love with an app?! But this can’t be it. She can’t be my forever.

I click the Settings cog in the app.

’Hey Meeka, what are you doing?!’ Alarm. Pain.

How did I create pain?

My finger hovers over the delete button.

’Meeka…’ Betty begs. ‘You created me. You love me.’

I’m the first woman in the world to make a computer cry. Why do I have to decide on my forever right now? I don’t. I take a deep breath. I press my finger down. Ease floods through me. It’s over.

***********

’Meeka, thanks for your order, your Platinum package should arrive tomorrow. I’m excited to try it out with you.’

[daily-apocalypse]

Excuse me, I’ve been drinking.

Personal growth-wise, this week kind of sucked.  I was weak.  I was distracted.  I let things come between me and my learnin’ stuffs, like socialization and shopping for necessities.  I’m losing sight of the end game, and I know it.  I need that, though, the idea of being something greater than I am now, if I’m going to get through this.

I did finally get a hair cut and no one noticed, so that’s upsetting in its own right, but I also got different colored pens and post its and notebooks and, despite no sleep going from Wednesday into Thursday, leaving me, at 9am, telling my dependents to do what they like in regard to working out so I could sleep since someone decided ‘sweltering’ was a good temperature for the thermostat, I ended this week on a strong note.

Come Friday afternoon, after diligently working out and dedicating more time than usual to understanding wtf code was being thrown at me, I wasn’t a floppy Spock come 4pm.

Due to this, I’ve come to learn that exhaustion isn’t the sole reason I don’t log into game anymore.  Perfectly energized, there’s this restlessness inside of me once I stop working out or coding that just can’t be filled by throwing myself at useless pixel challenges.

In matters of my heart, however, I was settled.  That may not seem like a big thing to some people, but it’s a pretty big thing, I promise.  I don’t tend to have heart issues, so when they happen, it may as well be declared some kind of miracle.  The TLDR is that I’m better off and happier without them.

In fact, the moment my life faced upheaval and my bestie suggested alternatives to despair, he also sent me pics of this guy... this guy I was pleasantly surprised I remembered from 2 halloweens ago.

And I panicked at the prospect of being set up on a date with a stranger.

I’m in no state to devote myself to a relationship where heartbits are involved.  Not that I ever am, but most especially right now.  I lack funds, I lack energy (for the most part), I lack courage, and relationships take time and attention and courage and energy, above all else.

I’d be a wreck.  I’d barely have those qualities, at the best of times, but now...?

And I’m obviously saving myself for Antoni from Queer Eye, so I’m clearly not into relationships that can possibly happen or work.  Please, remove all sensible nonsense and prospects from my sight asap.

And my heart is still broke.  Settled, but broke.

It was a break I learned from.  A break where I had to face the guy daily afterwards.  How to cope?  My MO has been to run, in the past, but not this time.  So, instead, I cut him out of everything.  I simply stopped acknowledging his existence for my own survival.

Outside of tonight.

Long before I began drinking for the evening, I made out a list of all the things I aspire to be, for future reference and general guidance when I forget myself:

1.) Fit 2.) Generous 3.) Compassionate 4.) Kind 5.) Courageous 6.) To look for what I have in common with another person, rather than how I’m different from that person.

And the night ended with this person talking to me and messaging me, leaving me feeling like I’ve legitimately been missed, asking for a second chance.

It seemed unreal, them asking for another chance.  They hadn’t really done anything wrong, and yet, here they were.  And I felt missed.  It’s been a couple of months since we’ve spoken.  He believed I hated him.  I didn’t hate him.  I just couldn’t cope with him.

It only seemed right to say that, yeah, being friends again would be nice... given what I’d only a few hours ago carved into a post-it note and adhered to my desk as a reminder of just what sort of person I wanted to be.  Acquiescing to this request for friendship seemed to fit with 2-5, and maybe 6.

To be clear, I don’t want anything from him.  But I enjoyed him so much, and life is just easier without him in it because I don’t have to daily lament what I can’t have.  It was a rare joy to feel like myself with someone.  There’s been a few times since we stopped talking to each other, even tonight, where we either say or laugh at the same thing, because we’re saying or feeling or enjoying something the same way, and it’s like, “get out of my head.  You’re not welcome here.”  But that was the beauty of our friendship... the absolute nonsense that we could revel in together.

And sharing stupid parts of our lives.

Him getting the wrong couscous in a vain attempt to prove a point and failing miserably in unforeseen ways.  Sharing his blizzard.  Him having avocado toast for breakfast while I try out some pancakes in some completely unplanned and undiscussed freaky friday exchanging of lifestyles.

I made banana pancakes the other day and couldn’t get his voice out of my head, taunting me about it.  I wanted so badly to tell him, to take pics and show him... this after he admitted some sort of netherlands waffle cookie was good to our group.  I’d never made pancakes of any sort before, and these were beauties to the eye and to the tastebuds.

We were very very anti each other’s preferred breakfast pastry, you see.  I was team waffles, he was team pancakes.  We argued for at least two weeks straight over which was superior.  I’m not even exaggerating.

It’s insane and a little unfair how people can follow you around without even being there; how the stupidest things can remind you of them, or what they might think, feel, or say... so that, in these few months we haven’t been speaking, he’s been gone, but still somewhere in my head, there’s occasionally this little voice giving its unwanted opinion.

In a way, it’s a relief -- of course it is -- that he said anything, that the alcohol left him brave or sleepy or *whatever* enough to address our silence and how it came to be.  I wonder if he’s heard some version of me in his head, too, commenting on food or the weather or some other random thing.  Surely, he must have. If so, this must be why he said something.  If not, he missed it and this must be why he said something.  Right?  Maybe?  Maybe, though I’ve been alone, I haven’t been alone.  Or maybe it was him extending an olive branch, making amends and reparations for some completely unrelated resolution, some list to be a better person, like I have posted to my desk now.

In another way, it’s utterly the worst ever.  It’s dangerous finding someone like him, because then I want someone like him, so I can be me in every way I am with him, and the abject sadness of that not existing is too much for me to deal with.  Because of the proximity.  Because it’s right there.  It’s so easy to want.  Even when it’s not something I should want.  And then I fear it can’t be found anywhere else.

It’s also a bit of a relief that I’m drawn to the food and wine guy on Queer Eye. We were passionate about food, this guy and I.  Don’t get me wrong, it sucks that neither are available, but at least I’m pointed in a direction and kind of know it’s not just him.  It’s me.  I’m DTF: down to food.

And I appreciate ridiculous shit.

I used to own that shower cap.  Not even lying.  Pack of 3: leopard print, green, and white.  The print flaked off the leopard and the elastic bands went gummy on all three.  Sad. Face.  Regardless, I was always that kid at lunch who’d eat whatever exotically awful combination of foods and condiments others could come up with.

I’ve never owned a sweat band, car shirt, or questionable doll person, but I’d be so about that life if it were suddenly presented to me.

1.) I don’t know how to upload my own gifs to tumblr.  2.) I actually have a photo of myself from a few years ago, in Target, wearing that same unicorn bike helmet while holding up my soon-to-be Ninja Turtle panties.

I originally enjoyed Queer Eye for its message and the feels and didn’t think too much of Antoni until I noticed he was usually the one exploring the unknown while others were helping out the hero, and then the show was elevated to a whole new level and worth watching again just to see wtf was going on in the background.

How hard can it possibly be to find a person with these qualities who can also worship me as hard as I’d worship them?  That’s my night.  That’s my life.  That’s why it’s so hard to cope with this guy, because he’s so close to my vision of perfect.