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thethottest · 8 years ago

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Chapter 1: Dangerously Adolescent

These are very long chapters lol, there’s only 9 but I might add more who knows.

1: Dangerously Adolescent

November

People like to judge, it’s natural.

When they see me they think: Oh look at the mixed kid with the shaved head and grey eyes. Oh what is he like five foot ten? Oh, I almost didn’t see those biceps under that twelve hundred dollar cardigan. Oh and look at that, the walk. He’s definitely a douchebag.

I know this because that’s what my closest friend Avery said when she was drunk and we were playing truth or dare. She said this with great confidence, and without a gun to her head, she kissed me on the cheek. Her black lipstick left behind a faint mark on my cheek for the next three hours as we lay on the floor a week before the ostentatious homecoming game that we would attend this Saturday like a religious holiday. We always held our homecoming late because some students lived overseas, like some of the princes and the princesses. There were five people in this circle, and I knew them all at the deepest levels of consciousness.

Avery was a genius, she was the only sophomore we knew that was taking Advanced Calculus and Physics C. She had long black hair, and a tribal tattoo on her alabaster skin, and she liked dark colors. She had plump lips, and a sharp jawline, and delicate cheekbones. Very big brown eyes. Avery had two sides, one she showed to us and one she showed to her parents. Avery drank only because she liked the taste, not because of how it made her feel. She also made sure that she washed down her scent with peppermint before going home to her parents california mansion in a zip code I hadn’t heard of. She was clearly bright but had problems of her own.

Ross Vanguard lit a cigarette and passed it around to Lenor, his sister. Ross and Lenor were the twin brother and sister duo of Beverly Hills’ finest surgeon Louis Vanguard. They weren’t as rich as me, or as smart as Avery, but they were street smart, and they had matching pearl blue eyes, and brown hair. They modeled for commercials, and drove around in matching red Ferrari’s because they forgot which one was the other’s. Ross was a straight boy, but Lenor had a girlfriend named Dani, who I occasionally bought pills from. Dani was a senior on honor roll and she was planning to become a pharmacist (which I supported full-heartedly).

At the time I had a girlfriend, her name was Sparrow James, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was Half-Asian, and half white, oh and she was hilarious. Sparrow was an amazing kisser and she could pull off going to school in pajamas if she wanted too. She didn’t wear makeup because her skin was so clear she didn’t need any. Though many people thought that Sparrow James couldn't possibly have nude skin because who's eyelashes are that long? Sparrow James was like me, a rich kid with a claim to fame. Her claim to fame was a bit different though, turns out Sparrow James was the president’s daughter.

Yes, the president’s daughter was sipping on a bloody mary at my best friend's house.

Kameron was an emancipated minor. He grew up in an average town with an average family. Until he was scouted and became an international supermodel. The only teenage supermodel to pull that off at the time. Kameron Kastle was a millionaire boy with a beachfront house all by himself and attended the same school as us. Secretly Kam was a basket case. He was extremely emotional and an insomniac. Kameron was the only person in the entire world that knew that I was bisexual at the time. He knew everything about me.

We all attended Renaldo's Academy. A private school that’s so private you have to pay to be on the waiting list. After passing a full background check, you then have to pass an interview where one of the question is, “How much does a Valentino handle bag cost if it’s last season?”

Anyway, it was the last weekend before finals and we were all taking turns with truth or dare. Sparrow James was the next person in line and she really wanted to go for some reason.

“Dare!” She squealed.

“I dare you to prank call your dad.” Avery said.

Sparrow James rolled her eyes, “He’s probably sleeping it’s midnight in D.C.”

Avery shook her head, “Do it.”

Sparrow James smiled and took out her phone. Putting it on speaker, she dialed the President of the United States. The phone rang for five minutes before he answered.

“Hello, Sparrow James?” His deep voice sighed .

“Hi Dad, I just ask you if your refrigerator is running?”

“I don’t know Sparrow James I don’t cook but if you want to know I can pick you up for Thanksgiving in a few months and you can eat dinner here instead of with your classy little boyfriend- what’s his name again- Ryker? Yeah bring him down here so that I can tell him that you asked me if my refrigerator is running, so that he’ll get running when he realizes how bad your prank calls are. You really got that from your mother because I didn’t raise you like this. I raised you to be funny and you have really disappointed me Sparrow James. Your Yéyé has been asking why you haven’t called him in a while how about you prank call him instead of me because I’m running a country and your Yéyé might actually appreciate a joke from you right now since he thinks I’m one.” He said.

The President hung up.

Sparrow James gave a fake smile and shook her head.

“Your father just dragged you so damn hard.” Ross whispered.

Everyone laughed including Sparrow James.

She took a sip of her Bloody Mary. “I really do need to call my grandpa, though.”

Sparrow James pointed to me. “Truth or dare, babe?”

“Truth.” I answered.

“What’s your biggest insecurity?” She asked.

I blew raspberries, got up, and poured myself a glass (not a shot) of vodka. I was extremely resistant to intoxication.

“Jesus, Sparrow.”

Everyone chuckled.

I sat back down and thought about it for a while.

It was silent for a while as everyone waited.

“I have pretty big nipples.” I answered.

Everyone laughed in an uproar and then Kameron with his extremely nosey self lifted up my shirt and showed the entire squad my left nipple. Which at the time was not hard.

“Oh come on! No one really cares about nipples anyways you’re fine.” Kameron said.

“But that six pack though! Jesus, Ryker, have you been working out because I could break glass on them rocks.” Lenor joked.

“Well remember, freshman year I was the marshmallow of the group.”

“Oh yeah, but you were so cute!” Avery chuckled.

“Anyway, I’ve been working out ever since summer break, and I plan to have the body of an olympic gymnast before my seventeenth birthday.” I continued.

“Well, your bodies fine Ryker.” Sparrow James said.

I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight. Every minute with her was a minute well spent.

I looked at my phone and realized that it was two hours until midnight and I lived around thirty minutes away from Kam’s house.

“I’m singing the Star Spangle Banner at the game tonight, I have to go to sleep. I have so much shit to do.” I sighed.

I drank the rest of the vodka and then stood up.

Sparrow James got up and grabbed her coat off the rack. “I’ll be right back guys, gotta make sure this jerk gets home in one piece.”

Although I was clearly not drunk, Sparrow James’ car was at my house and she decided that she would drive back.

“It’s okay I’ll drive.”

The voice came from the corridor to the kitchen. It was the other best friend of Kameron’s.

“Jason Harvey.” I mumbled.

Jason at the time was the purest thing to hit this side of southern California. He didn’t drink, he didn’t smoke, he had a vegan diet and even did the occasional fast. My parents loved Jason, we weren’t even friends but we attended the same church and went to the same school. Jason was something starkly different than I.

He had that frightening glow to him. He was much too perfect for anyone or anything. Jason was Kameron’s “other” best friend. Whenever Kam would hang out with Jason I would deliberately make up an excuse to not go with them. After about eight years of making up excuses and accidentally building up a paparazzi following, I could no longer do that. So instead I would just flat out ignore him. He was to nice, too kind, and much too honest. I never liked to trust people like that, because I was like that. Knowing someone can be that nice on the outside makes you think about just how cold and scary they must be on the inside.

“I’ll make sure he gets home safe, Sparrow James. You’re the only sober one here and I wanna make sure they don’t go swimming in the ocean drunk or some dumb crap. I’ll bring your car back.” He explained.

I smirked, unimpressed by his kindness.

Sparrow James grinned and tossed my keys to Jason. “Thank you, Jason. Such an angel.”

He smiled and winked. I was suspicious but like every good actor I did not for a second reveal that suspicion. He looked down at the keys and his eyes widened.

“You drive a damn Lamborghini!” Jason exclaimed.

“Well, yeah, I just never take it to school because my dad thinks it’s flashy.” I confirmed.

Sparrow James dug through her purse and threw Jason another pair of keys. Jason took a look at those and he looked like he was about to vomit.

“Your father bought you an Aston Martin?” He whispered.

She flipped her hair, “Actually, Ryker did.”

Jason raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Damn.”

I grabbed my jacket and kissed Sparrow James goodbye. Jason quickly grabbed his glasses off the counter, actual glasses (like for seeing) which I didn’t realize he needed. Jason Harvey never in my presence wore glasses before, in fact, this was the first time I had seen him in a regular t-shirt and blue jeans. He was famous for his nice fashion sense.

We made it out the door alive and Jason sat down in the driver's seat. I was putting on my seatbelt, waiting for the car to start, I looked over to see Jason blank faced staring at the dashboard.

I snickered. “I paid an extra two hundred thousand dollars to get actual diamonds bezel into the stitching of the wheel.”

He guffawed. “This is awesome, dude.”

I sighed, “Thanks. Now put the key in the ignition and let’s get out of here before something bad happens.”

He turned the key and a roar hummed into the cabin.

We were cruising down the highway listening to pop music when Jason decided to strike up a conversation.

“What’s it like dating the President’s daughter?” He asked.

“Well for one thing, privacy, doesn’t exist. Dating Sparrow James is like dating a red diamond, you have to be extremely careful and there aren’t many quite like them.” I said.

“What you guys don’t have any fun?” He asked.

“Well yeah of course we have fun, it’s just it’s hard. Sparrow James is hot as hell, it’s just I don’t want to end up getting on the bad side of the most powerful man in the world.” I answered.

“Yeah, I understand.” He said.

“So are you dating anyone, Mr. Homecoming King?” I asked.

He smirked and shook his head. “No, I’m just not interested in anyone right now.”

“Really? Rain’s cute, and she’s definitely crushing on you. Or Beth, all those squats are definitely paying off. Fawn? She’s drop dead gorgeous and she publicly said that she would do a whole lot of things to you on Publix.”

“No, no, and no. Besides, Publix is full of conniving little traitors, you can’t trust any of those people on that app.” He answers.

I was baffled. The Jason I heard about was seriously the most liked person on campus. I had never actually seen him so honest and sincere. Was he an actor too? Posing for the people to see him in a different light than what he actually felt was right.

“Who is this, Jason? Jason Harvey, the star quarterback, honor roll student, homecoming royalty two times in a row? Who dis be?” I asked, I was starting to feel that vodka.

He, again, smiles so politely. In the glow of the street lights, I can see those famous dimples of his. Jesus he was better in person.

“Don’t believe everything you hear, Ryker Jackson. I mean, obviously you’re not so average yourself. Self made millionaire with a billionaire dad and multi-millionaire mother. I heard you’ve got a huge trust fund, and that’s just in case you don’t want to work anymore. Everything designer, don’t you say that? I mean come on, this can’t be your only supercar. You obviously have like a Bentley and a McLaren stored up in one of your famous garages. Don’t you have a sister too? You never talk about her, London born Lily Jackson. Isn’t she some huge editor or something. Why don’t we talk about that?” He stated.

I raised my eyebrows. “You sure know a lot about me, don’t you?”

He shrugged, “I do my research.”

“Me too, Jason.” I said.

We pulled up to the gate. Where an armed guard looked sternly through the window directly at him. I waved at him, and he automatically nodded his head and let us through.

You could call my house a mansion or you could call it a complex. It was gigantic, fit for giants. There were sixteen bedrooms on each wing, two living rooms, an actual home theatre, a greek pool, and an indoor sauna. Also there was a golf course and we had a lake outback. We had five maids, and two chefs one for each side of the house.

I guided Jason around the large fountain and into the underground garage. Inside we had twenty cars, and about five of them I purchased myself. The rest were my mother’s collection, she was a car enthusiast. She left most of them in America when she moved.

“That’s Sparrow’s car over there. In guest parking.” I pointed out.

“Ryker this isn’t a garage this is a parking lot.” He corrected.

I laughed, “Get out let me park.”

Jason quickly got out of the car and stood watching as I skillfully parked my cherry red lamborghini on it’s pedestal. I got out and burped a gas like fume into the air and stumbled down the ramp.

“You just reverse parked a car on a pedestal while you were drunk.” Jason said.

I rolled my eyes, “I can do a lot of things trust me this isn’t my first time. I once made a speech high as a kite on migraine medication.”

I smiled. “Thanks for driving me home, Jason.”

He nodded. “Thank you for letting me drive such a beautiful car.”

I smiled and walked towards the door which was very far away. “Don’t crash my girlfriend’s car please.”

“I’ll try not to.”

~~~

The next morning I was a complete mess but I had an appointment.

I woke up at my usual time which was around five in the morning. I did everything I usually did, moisturized, took a shower, stretched, drank a healthy shake that tastes like Satan’s breastmilk, and then I went for my morning jog. I did all this while dealing with a throbbing headache. Then I got into my car, and went to my doctor’s appointment.

After sitting in the office for around twenty damn minutes the doctor came in with my results.

“Well you’re stomach lining is healing quite well. How have you been eating?” He asked.

“Well I’ve been working out.” I said.

“Ryker, you may be fit but that doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Have you been eating?” He asked once again.

“Dr. Moroson, does it really matter. It’s not like I’m not feeding myself I just sometimes skip meals.” I answer.

Dr. Moroson was a man in his thirties. He looked a lot like me, except he was white and had brown eyes instead of grey. He was also a bit shorter than me but I was only five foot ten so it wasn’t really a big deal.

“Do you want me to tell your father about this? There’s alcohol in your blood. Drugs I haven’t even seen in you before. I could put you in rehab.”

Dr. Moroson was also my uncle.

“It’s not like he’s gonna care. He’s out with god knows who doing god knows what. Banging god knows who. I don’t care what he thinks or knows.” I said.

He gave me a half smile and looked down at his papers. “What’s going on, Ryker?”

“Nothing!” I growled.

He shook his head. “No, there’s something going on that you’re not talking to me about and I need to know what’s going on right now before I have to hear about my nephew overdosing on the news or see you on insulin because you’re blood sugar is so damn low. I’m not gonna have that, I love you too much for that.”

I breathed in and out. “You remember last year.”

“What about it?”

“I was so … lost. I wasn’t happy with myself and I was so angry, with everyone.”

“Mhm.”

“I wasn’t much of an eater anyways and I just wanted to look like all of my friends. Skinny, six pack, gorgeous. So I changed everything about myself. Fixed my teeth, stopped eating so much, exercised like an olympian. I’m just … still empty.”

“And you think that drugs and alcohol are gonna fill that void in you?” He remarked.

“What else? I can’t talk to my parents. My entire persona is a big lie. I created Ryker Jackson. I was forced to design something that I wasn’t. Because if I actually wanted to be myself, to actually be comfortable, I would have to sacrifice everything.” I explained.

He nodded. “What exactly are you hiding from your parents? Besides the drugs and alcohol.”

I moved, I was so not ready. But if there were anyone I could talk to, it was the person who spent the most time with me. My uncle was probably my only role model, and he knew that too. Baseball games, recitals, press conferences, he was right there. Standing right behind me making sure I didn’t pass out.

“This is doctor confidentiality.” I warned.

He nodded in agreement. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I’m bisexual.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I swear I thought you were like a demon or something and you finally were going to come out of your corpse today.”

“Maybe next time.” I smiled.

He smiled at me. “Oh, Ryker.”

I was tearing up now, sniffling and everything. The whole nine yards.

“It’s just. I was raised to believe that if I wasn’t manly enough, or pure enough, that I was wrong. That people like me have a disease, like really. That someone created me, but I was an abomination. How does that even make sense? How can a God so loving and benevolent put something so evil in someone.”

“You think you’re evil?”

“No, I think they’re evil.” I corrected.

He nodded. “We keep things to ourselves because there aren’t a lot of people who will understand.”

I wiped my tears. “Yeah but if I do anything stupid I’m gonna get kicked out of the damn house.”

He stood up, and hugged me for a moment. I wasn’t crying anymore but I needed that hug.

“You need to start eating, Ryker.” He whispered.

“Yeah, I know.”

After my appointment I headed over to the school for practice because the game was coming up pretty fast. For the national anthem, I had put together a choir to sing background extremely strong tenor. The auditorium was very cold in the winter but I had done hot yoga during warmups and I had my sweater tied around my waist since i had a black tank top under it.

We were just finishing up rehearsals when Kameron and Jason walked through the doors. I knew this because even though I was belting out the ending notes to my solo, the choir was packing up and the girls all started going crazy when they realized that Jason Harvey had entered the very same room in which they had existed.

I turned around and sighed in sudden disappointment.

“Do you dare come into my sanctuary?” I hissed playfully.

“My apologize, oh great one.” Kam remarked, bowing and then climbing up the stairs alongside Jason.”

The fangirls were in a trance, staring at Jason as if they were imagining that he would go right up to one of them and kiss them and make all of their dreams come true.

I snapped my fingers and shooed them out the backstage exit.

When were finally alone I turned back around and put my hand on my hips in question.

“Jason don’t you have practice or something?” I asked.

He shrugged, “It’s optional on game day.”

I giggled, “Why the hell is it optional?”

“I’m not the coach, don’t ask me the questions.” He answered.

Kameron picked up the sheet music I left on the piano. “Why do you have a russian translation?”

“I’m planning on going to Moscow soon. To see the ballerinas.” I said.

“My father is Russian.” Jason commented.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Well, it’s the only reason I can attend this damn school. My dad’s the Ambassador to Russia.”

My face brightened in delight. “That’s actually pretty cool. I just thought you got here on good looks alone.”

Kameron started playing the chords on the piano. I walked over and sat on it, while singing loudly and on key with great precision.

I pretended not to look at Jason while he ran his finger through his thick blonde hair and stared at me with the eyes of God.

At the end I finished off with an eight count hold. Then I high fived Kameron for his beautiful mastery of the national anthem at the ripe age of sixteen.

“That was pretty good.” Jason said.

“I know.” I grabbed my sheet music and put it into it’s respective folder. Then I untied my sweater and put it on.

Kameron clears his throat. “Did you eat today?”

Kameron was ballsy, he didn’t mind saying things in front of people. I used to think that Kameron was just a little rude, but now I’ve realized that really he’s just a bit of a buttcrack and at the same time he’s smart enough to realize that there were only three people in the room including him.

“Well I had a protein shake and like a soda. That counts for something right?” I answered.

Kam shook his head and sighed. “This boy.”

Jason tilted his head. “Do you usually not eat or something.”

“Well, I mean I eat. I just don’t have time usually. Between being so damn gorgeous and running a company while attending high school I really don’t have the necessary time to consume solid foods.” I said.

“That’s really unhealthy.” Jason warned.

“And you’re really blonde. Since you like to state the obvious so much. Yes I have a damn eating disorder and if you tell anyone, I’ll ruin you.” I hissed.

“Is he alway like this?”

Jason had directed that comment to Kameron who was playing a word puzzle game on his phone at the time.

Kameron looked up and smirked. “He’s Ryker Jackson.”

That was always the answer. No matter how rude, annoying, angry, sad, loud, or crazy I tended to become, it was always directed back to one thing.

I was Ryker Phillip Jackson.

For some reason it was always fine that that was the answer because it made sense. But for Jason Harvey, it didn’t. Maybe he was different, maybe he was clever or more developed than his fellow peers. Harvey knew, without a doubt, that there was more to being Ryker Jackson, than met the eye.

You could tell that by looking into his crystal blue eyes.

“I heard it’s Shake N’ Steak night at the Charleston. We could head over after the game?” Jason suggested.

“I hate steak.” I said as I applied vaseline to my lips.

Kameron rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure that sounds like fun.”

“I’m not going, I have church tomorrow.” I dodged.

“Oh come on, Ryker! That megachurch has three different services. You can make the afternoon one.” Kameron countered.

“Please?” Jason asked.

That boy was something like sweet fire and I hated it.

“No, I’m not going I have shows to catch up on.” I declared.

“How about we bet?” Jason offered.

Now I was listening. “What did you have in mind?”

“If our football team wins the homecoming game tonight, we go to the Charleston. If we lose, you can do whatever you want. Deal?” Jason explained.

For a second I was lost in his features. When you first look at someone like Jason Harvey, you get the general jist. A handsome teenager, whose very tall and very muscular. Jason started to take on different features as he kept talking. The first thing I noticed was that he had a beauty mark on his left eye. He also had a residing scar right under his extremely chiseled jaw. This boy looked like art. But that’s not the point. He made a bet, I wanted to keep the bet.

“Alright Jason Harvey. You have yourself a deal.” I agreed.

Kameron clapped his hands. “Now let’s get out of here before the dance team gets in here.”

~~~

A few hours later I was standing on the open field as the day ran into the night. All of the rich kids were taking their seats on the home bleachers, while the prep kids were taking their seats at the visitors bleachers.

We were going up against Rosa’s Institute for Advanced Minds. Their mascot was a cheetah who had no name, but they actually brought out a cheetah on the field, and I was not up for getting close to it but since I was announcing the teams I would have to mention the Rosa students.

Anyway, the band had started their drumroll ,and smoke machines were working overtime when the cheerleaders began to do they’re kicks and flips. I make sure I’m hitting my marks by yelling things really loud like a sports newscaster.

“Helloooooo Ronaldo!” I shouted into the microphone.

The students at our school went wild. The cheerleaders took their confetti guns and shot burst into our booths, as our pep team ran through the by the rails and through multi colored powder at our kids. The other school wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen to them. (The visiting team never was).

“Oh … and good evening to the Cheetahs.” I spoke softly.

The cheerleaders from across the field backflipped all the way to the other bleachers. Where I came up from behind them and started to sing “It’s Going Down” until I heard the traditionally pep rally yell from our side of the bleachers.

I pretended to look pleasantly surprised. Then I cuffed my ear towards the tunnel of which was beginning to rumble. A hush fell over the crowd like so many times before. Soon the rumbling became extremely loud and out came the Ronaldo football team. Everyone went wild, even the visiting team was tempted to go crazy.

I ran back to my spot on the middle of the field at the fifty yard line as the choir made a semi circle behind me and the band positioned themselves properly.

“Please stand for the National Anthem.”

The band began to take off with the heavy overture that I had composed myself. Then the choir began to start humming behind me the tune of America the Beautiful which I had matched specifically to go with my tenor voice.

Then I began to sing the National Anthem.

For some reason I was always looking to my right. Where Jason stood, with his right hand on his heart, and he was staring directly at me too. He was smiling, like I had done something right. I made sure to remember my lines but for some reason he began to make me lose track.

But only for a split second.

I ended the song with a eighth note hold and the crowd went crazy. I humbly bowed and then ran through the tunnel, taking one more peek at the amazing Jason Harvey. What I saw that moment was locked in my heart to this very day.

He winked at me.

With those violent blue eyes, he winked at me as if he had seen his mark and he was ready to go heavy. My heart stopped, and I could feel my chest close. I hadn’t eaten that day so I was probably just starving, but Jason through me so far left I couldn’t tell right from wrong.

I still can’t.

I went back into that tunnel with one thing on my mind.

Figuring out what the hell was going on with the Rothschild of Ronaldo Academy.

~~~~

I took my seat beside the squad which included Avery, the Vanguard Twins, and Kameron. They were all dressed up in our school colors, red, gold, and white. Screaming at the top of their lungs, they forgot I was even there until Kameron pointed out that Jason had already scored a touchdown within the first five minutes of the game.

The Ronaldo’s were violently competitive. The entire team had to pick one other physically intensive hobby to get into before they could join the team. Not only that but they had to have 20/20 vision, and if they didn’t they had to pass a blindfolded maze in which they were repeatedly subjected to things such as medicine balls and glass. The linebacker was a dancer, not only that but ballet. Where he performed several times in a traveling company. The kicker was ufc fighter, with a knockout ratio that was almost monumental. The runningbacks were all crossfit buddies, the receivers were marksmen junior champions, and the linemen was a stunt double for the Hulk.

The cheerleaders were all gymnastic champions, their coach had to be a professional cheerleader before they could coach. They were all paid, the cheerleaders were making enough to support small villages, and the coach had a west villa in Palm Springs and three ferraris that she named after greek gods.

Jason was a runner. He loved marathons, and he would train for hours, putting in extra time at the gym, just to make sure he looked good while running them. His hair products were imported from Spain, on his fan page, there’s an entire article about how he incorporated his love for rhythm into his footwork.

Yes, I stalked Jason on social media, it’s the modern world I can do whatever I want.

While I was thinking about all these things Jason and his team of world class super athletes scored touchdown after touchdown. So badly that the Cheetahs actually stopped cheering.

“I’m going to go get some nachos.” I said as I excused myself from the cold metal benches.

“I’ll come with.” Kameron said.

When we were in line at the food vendor Kameron continued to stare at me. He had this ogling look and I couldn’t figure out why. I shoved him weakly.

“What’s wrong with you?” I hissed.

He smiled and rolled his eyes at me. “I’m just trying to figure out what Jason sees in you.”

I looked around nervously. The people behind us were talking amongst themselves and the people in front of us were on their phones.

“Can you keep your voice down?” I whispered angrily.

“Are you okay, though?” He asked.

“No, Sparrow James isn’t picking up her phone and I haven’t talked to her since last night.” I answered.

“Well she has the Secret Service. You knew when you first started dating her two years ago thaat she was going to be like this so calm down.” Kam added.

I nodded. We were finally up to order.

To my surprise, the cashier was Sparrow James, wearing a Ranaldo crop top, and her curly hair was braided thick down her shoulder.

She smiled. “Oh hey babe!”

“Sparrow? What the hell are you doing working at the vendors?”

“Well, the school needed some more help and they asked student council to help out.” She answered.

“Oh, well in that case. Can I have two salted pretzels and some nachos please?” I asked.

She nodded and typed it into the register. “Can I see your student I.D?”

I smirked. “Why? You know me.”

She shook her head. “I need the I.D so I can give you the discount. What’s the number.”

“Two, four, six, zero, one.” I said.

She handed me my junk food and then winked at me. “Enjoy the game, Jean Valjean.”

Kameron laughed along with her while I sighed heavily. They had been playing that trick on me for years. This was the first time they didn’t burst into song though.

We went back to our seats and I passed the nachos around to all the good people I called my friends.

“What’s the score?” I asked Avery.

She was so vested in it, it took her a moment to realize I said something. “Forty to zero.”

I almost choked on my pretzel.

I looked down at the field and Jason, whose number was forty five, was on his left leg during the second quarter. No matter how hard the defense and offensive when at him, he always made it through far enough that it would only take him seconds to cross into the touchdown. They eventually took him out of the game because they wanted to put second string in for some game time.

Second string was as good as first string because there were no bad players on our football team.

As the clock on the third quarter drained I began to sweat like a sinner in church. I pulled Kam to the side to ask him a few questions.

“What’s Jason’s deal?” I asked.

Kam grinned, “I’m not telling you.”

Kameron was the bastion of secret holding. I once told him I stole two video games from the store. Kameron was arrested at eleven years of age, brought in for petty theft (my petty theft) and didn’t say a word. They let him off for lack of evidence, and my Dad made sure his record was clean. Kameron could keep a secret to the point of his own pain. He was so protective of his friends that if one of them were to get hurt, or were harassed by someone, he would take those two God-given hands of his and mess up the face of the inflicter.

Kameron was the designer version of a best friend.

“Why, why aren’t you telling me Kameron?” I growled.

He shook his head. Making sure he got in a few good tisk-tisks before walking back to his seat.

I had nothing on him to make me get what I wanted so I was in the hole until further notice.

The game ended and the Ronaldos won and I was a victim to the gambling system. The stadium went crazy and the cannons went off and the victory music started playing. It seemed as if everyone was intoxicated by the crazy victory that was witnessed tonight. I clapped and smiled, because I didn’t want to come off as stingy or petty.

But I was both of those things.

~~~

I pulled up to the Charleston with a newfound anger. I sat there, thinking about how I could just backup and leave. But I wasn’t that kind of person. I was the kind that followed through and didn’t let people down.

So I opened my butterfly doors, and walked out. Dressed in a two thousand dollar armani outfit. I walked through the doors to the most beautiful restaurant on this part of Beverly Hills. It had a huge twenties vibe, and it had an indoor balcony where people could sit and watch some of the best bands play on the floor below. Today lots of people from school were there. Cheerleaders, football players, rich kids with no sense of direction, celebrities that knew they didn’t have as much money as us. Music was playing from the speakers because they were changing sets.

Jason sat in a booth on the left side of the huge restaurant by the stage. Looking like a billion dollars, he noticed me almost as soon as I walked through the door. He sat with my squad, who had came earlier than me because I needed to change. They seemed to be having a good time even before I made my appearance. But Jason’s face lit up like fireworks when he saw me, I was still off put by this boy.

“Ryker!” He squealed. He had changed too, into a white beater and ripped black skinny jeans. He was truly an anomaly.

I put on a grand smile. “Congratulations on winning the game, Jase!”

“Well, I only bet on stuff if I know I’m gonna win.” He said.

I nodded. “Cool.”

I sat down next to Avery, who continued to nudge me in my rib until I threw her a sideways glance.

Kameron put his chin on his hands and gave me a goofy smile. “Glad you could make it Rykes.”

“Well yeah I’m a man of my word.” I said.

I looked around to see the chaos that was this place. It was filled to the brim with students. Some of which were taking pics by Jason’s seat so that they could tag him on their various social media pages. Jason was a local celebrity at this point.

“Did you guys order?” I asked.

Ross nodded from the other side of the table. “Yeah I ordered your favorite.”

“What’s his favorite?” Jason asked.

Why do you need to know? I thought.

“A virgin pina colada with fries and a medium rare double cheeseburger, lacking pickles.” Kameron chimed in. He was sitting next to Jason, who he occasionally whispered too.

I looked around. “Where the hell is Sparrow James?”

“She said she had some homework to make up.” Avery answered.

“What homework?” I asked.

Everyone shrugged and drank their drinks.

I rolled my eyes and brought out my phone, texting her:

Hey are you alright. Txt me?

The waiter came by and brought everyone’s food. I was hungry but I wasn’t expecting this big of a plate. Usually I would have thing bring me a sampler. If I was any less smart I would think that this was just my friends being generous but I knew the deal.

“Jason did you order this?” I said bravely.

He looked up in surprise, and everyone stopped what they were doing. This was the first time I had directly talked to Jason without any coxing. I was pretty sure Avery thought the world was coming to an end and Kameron was about to call my therapist.

“Um-”

“Because if you did you didn’t have too. I’m pretty sure I can order my own food.” I said.

I don’t know why but I was angry. Who did he think he was to order me food. Did he think I was incapable of ordering my own food. Did he think I wasn’t going to eat anything at all. He probably thought I was going to believe that Ross Vanguard ordered the meal in advance. But Ross knew that I hated people ordering for me, so it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Kameron because he gave up trying to make me eat. Avery doesn’t know about my eating problem. Lenor wasn’t even there, she was probably with her girlfriend. So the only person who could’ve ordered this was the new one.

“I told him it was a bad idea.” Ross rats.

His cheeks flush. “I just thought you might want something extra. I know you have a problem- wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way!”

Immediately I was finished with everything.

I quietly picked up my wallet, phone and keys and walked towards the door. My heart was pumping and I felt as if I could strangle someone. But, Jason was persistent. Once I was outside, he ran out.

“Ryker I’m sorry.”

“Did you think, that since Kameron and I are friends, that that automatically gives you the privilege to tell my buisness!”

“Ryker-”

“Answer my fucking question!” I yelled.

He honestly looked very ashamed. “No.”

“Then why the hell do you think you could say that! You don’t know my life, you don’t me at all! Just because you read something on a tabloid or a website about me doesn’t me I’m not a fucking person. I can’t believe I even thought for a second that you were cool.”

I opened my door and got in. Jason looked really bad, like he was about to cry or something. But before I could tell a groupie came up to him and surrounded him. I then backed up out of there and left.

Before I knew it I was in tears, speeding down the street in a four hundred thousand dollar car.

When I arrived at my home in West Hollywood, I would again be met with disappointment. Now something one should know beforehand is that my father and mother were very busy people. My mom lived in Nice, France where she owned a mansion and ran a fashion empire. Her brand being Anna Mari, named after herself. My father of course was the owner of the largest tech giant in North America, Jackson Technologies Incorporated. He started the business when he was the same age as I.

Now, it might sound like being the son with a trust fund of four billion dollars seems exciting and fun. But it’s not, most of the time my dad isn’t there, I pay the bills, pay the employees, make sure there’s food in the fridge. I’m even in charge of the wine cellar. My mother can go weeks without talking to me. When she does call it’s to say that she can’t wait for me to visit and how my cousins want to see me. That’s code for I should be living in France with her. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even talk to me in English anymore, as if she’s separated her entire life away from the fact that she married an American boy.

The lights were all on when I came home. Which was odd because the maids check out at ten and it was much past three in the morning. My father was supposed to be away on a business trip to Tokyo for his unveiling event.

When I came inside I could hear the piano playing. With suspicion I tip toed down the hallway to where the source was coming from. Then all of a sudden I heard loud noises, and the slow rhythmic squeaking of our twelve hundred thousand dollar Italian leather sofa. Which I had payed for.

When I saw what I saw I very much wanted to unsee it.

My father had his head buried in the chest of some really blonde girl that looked half his age.

“Are you fucking kidding me dad!” I yelled.

Like a meerkat his head sprang up. I shielded my eyes because I had seen enough.

I walked up the stairs to my room. I was not spending another day in this plush hellhole. I opened my closet door and quickly began filling a duffel bag with clothes. I was so infuriated I hadn’t realized that my father was standing at the doorway, blocking my way out.

“I thought you were staying at the Vanguard’s house?” He said, so calmly, as if I hadn’t seen him having foreignication on living room set.

“Move.” I huffed.

He squinted his eyes at me. My dad was buff, a bit bigger than Jason. He was also pretty tall, and he had unchecked stubble and a sweaty forehead. I wanted to vomit, my stomach was doing flips and I couldn’t handle yelling at my dad right now if I wanted to keep the bile from spewing up like a geyser.

“What did you just say to me, Ryker?”

“I said get the hell out of my way!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. My throat feeling like sandpaper.

I could barely see him through my watered eyes. But he did move back so I could get through.

“Hey.” He grabbed my shoulder.

I whirled around and shoved him. “Don’t touch me.”

He advanced toward me in a fit of rage. Raising his fist up, but I didn’t flinch. It was like he was frozen, rage on his face but he was frozen.

“Go ahead.” I taunted. “My nose is insured for half a million dollars, these damn lips cost more than the down payment to your summer cottage. Oh, wouldn’t that be weird. Does Mom know about her. If I fly home right now, and Mom sees this, you’re not getting a damn penny in the divorce. Not a cent! So if you wanna lay hands on me, do it now! So I can pay tuition myself.”

My hands were shaking, my throat was numb. I could feel the blood in my ears, the heavy breaths of both of us as we stood there. I looked stable, but I was seconds away from blacking out.

He pointed to the door. “Get the hell out of my house.”

I spit on his shoes.

Then left with my last piece of dignity.

I took my Lamborghini and drove it fast. Speeding through stop signs, breaking traffic laws, running red lights. I had no fear whatsoever. Then I pulled over.

It had come to my realization that I was a mess.

I had nothing to hold onto anymore. A few memories, a faint smell. The sounds of laughter and the fading touch of yesterday. It was dark out, and I was looking at the ocean in silence. I layed my head back, and breathed deep breaths. Waiting for something to happen, good or bad. I opened my glove box and got out some pills. I took them dry. Usually I would have water but I think my tears are enough. I sat there and I waited for them to kick in.

That ugly beauty. That chaotic neutral toxin, that was a narcotic. I felt numb enough, calm enough, awake enough. To think, that’s what happened when I took drugs, I could think. They had that odd effect on me. I didn’t see the Devil or feel my skin melting off. I could think clearly when I was high. Whether it was from pills, or drugs, or the occasional chainsmoke.

I took a few more minutes to stare at the moon resting on the hip of the ocean. I felt like it was staring at me, with a white pearly glow. The waters a deep crystal blue, rippling towards me. The cars, rumbling past me. I felt in motion and at rest at the exact same time.

I turned the car back on and headed to Kameron Kastle’s residence. He lived alone, so he wouldn’t mind me staying the night. He had a guest room, and although it was a pretty small house for a price tag set in the seven digits, it had a gorgeous view of the Santa Monica shore.

I loved it.

~~~

When I got there I soon realized that Satan wasn’t done with me yet.

In his driveway sat a 1998 Ford Mustang, refurbished. It looked brand new, royal blue with white racing stripes. New shiny tires, replace roof with a tiger on top. Rims sparkling. I looked into the window, and the seats were brand new leather. The dashboard was taken out and replaced with mahogany wood and leather stitching. A pair of blue dice on the rear view. The interior looked nothing like the originally, the stereo was brand new. Everything but the car itself had been replaced.

No doubt in my mind, it belonged to Jason Harvey, the quarterback. Also the other best friend of my best friend. The demon who spew all my secrets out like lukewarm water. He sat his pitch fork in the God fearing home of my beloved Kameron.

I had a key so I opened up the door myself. There was an almost immediate right turn into the living room. The lights were off but the T.V was still on and the surround sound was working overtime. I could see Jason’s blonde locks sitting on the couch spread eagle. Kameron sat on the other couch, a bowl of Munchies on his lap. They were watching some kind of horror film.

Kameron saw me first, his eyes flashed with surprise. He put down his bowl and smiled.

“Ryker, what brings you here at two in the morning.”

Jason shot up, dusting off his white beater which had cheesepuff dust on it. He had the audacity to smile at me. Like literally grin ear to ear.

I shook my head at Kam, we had established this a long time ago that if one of us shook our head it was because we didn’t want to talk about it. I sat down on the other side of the room, kind of dazed. I could see from the corner of my eye that Jason was just staring at me. I allowed him to do this for two more minutes before I turned to him and frowned.

He looked away without another word.

I sat and watched the movie, not really paying attention to it. I wasn’t gonna fall asleep because the drugs were still working and I was excessively hungry.

“Hey, Rykes, can you get the jumbo marshmallows out of the refrigerator please?” Kameron asked. He basically read my mind.

I nodded. “Sure.”

While I was in the kitchen, digging through everything there was. Jason came in. I had my head buried in the refrigerator looking for drunk food when I finally found what I was looking for. Hazelnut spread, bananas, and whipped cream.

I didn’t want to turn around and look at Jason so I just assembled my sugar-coma-sandwich on the counter.

“Hey, Ryker.” His voice low and raspy.

I didn’t answer.

“Look, I’m really sorry for spilling your business like that at the Charleston. Can you forgive me?” He continued.

I got a kick out of that one so I laughed.

“I’m serious, I had no business telling people-”

“I’ve had a really bad day. Extremely bad like oh-my-god-you-survived-that-shit bad. So please can you just … leave me alone for the next six to eight years? Thank you.”

I then walked straight past him into the living room with both the junk food and my sanity still intact.

Kameron and Jason didn’t say a word to me throughout the rest of the movies marathon. It was around four when Kam and Jason decided to call it quits and head to bed. I figured that Jason was just going to take the guest room and I was going to have to sleep on the couch. Which smelled like cologne and baby oil.

Kameron had said goodnight while Jason was still in the living room with me. I was putting the pillows on the couch and laying the sheets to rest on when Jason cleared his throat. I looked at him, still angry, bitter, and uncomfortable as I was hours before.

“Hey, um. You could sleep in the guest room if you’d like?” He said softly.

I shook my head. “It’s fine. You were here first.” I mumbled.

“Look, I’ve been an asshole. So could you just please accept this one thing and take the guest room?” He urged.

I sighed, looking deep into the ocean blue eyes. This boy was an anomaly. Even when he was tired and in pajama pants, he still looked like he was a prince.

“Fine.” I agreed.

He smiled, and we walked past each other without another word. I walked into the guest room, getting under the covers. I rolled over to see the calm ocean, beating across the shore. The moon still in it’s place, the sky as smooth as silk.

I attempted going to sleep, but I continued to toss and turn for the next hour or so. Then I decided to get up and get some tea. When I came over, Kameron always had tons of tea stashed in his cupboard just for me. Chi Tea was my favorite, my grandpa on my dad’s side was from East Africa. When he came over he would always make tea. He stopped talking to my dad around last December, when he found out my father was a huge jerk to me.

I walked through the hallway, to get to the kitchen I had to go directly through the living room. Jason was sleeping on the couch.

His blonde hair that was always so kept together was a tumble mess. He was shirtless, and he had such a chiseled physique even I was envious. His breaths were quiet but you could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. He had this really cute twitch to his nose every once and awhile. He didn’t drule either, even though his mouth was half open. He had nice long eyelashes, and a button up nose.

Anyway, I was suppose to get some tea. I didn’t want to wake up Lucifer so I quietly tip toed passed the couch (let me remind you I was still a bit high). I ended up coughing and before he could realize it was me I ran through the arch and straight into the kitchen. I turned on the stove top light, and grabbed a pot from under the sink. Then I grabbed twelve bags of tea, and set them in the boiling water. I then proceeded to add cinnamon, sugar, honey, and mint into the pot.

I stirred slowly, until I heard the interruption of someone yawning. I turned around. Low and behold, it was Jason Harvey. A sleepy one with messy hair and a six pack.

“What are you making?” He said.

“Drunk tea.” I answered.

“Nice can I have some?” He asked.

I was not in the mood. But I just couldn’t say no to him. I pointed to the table.

“It’ll be ready in about twelve minutes.”

Jason waddled to the chair and sat down. I returned to the pot to stir it.

“So what happened today? Were you mad because of me?” Jason asked.

I sighed. “No.”

“Were you mad because of Kameron?”

“No.”

“Then why were you mad?”

I began to drain the tea, and filter out the leaves. “I have issues.”

“Don’t we all?” Jason added.

“Sure, but not all issues are created equal.” I said.

I took the two cups and gave one to him. Then I sat down and ran my fingers through my hair. I had never been this close to him before. He looked even better up close, which was a bit astronomical. How does someone get more attractive the closer you get to them? Well in Jason Harvey’s case, he just was.

“Jason, why are you so interested in me?” I asked. I was coming down on the drugs and this was the part where I had no filter.

Jason looked nervous, probably because it was five in the morning and it was just him and I.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been friends with Kameron for a hella long time and I’ve barely seen you around. It’s like the first time I’ve actually talked to you. Freshman year you didn’t seem to want to really talk to me. You looked so busy, and you had all those friends. I mean I attempted to talk to you several times but I was always curved. Then I started talking to Avery, thinking that I would be able to talk to you, but that didn’t work. Avery and the Vanguard twins always had their eyes on you. I mean, everytime I talk to them they're always talking about you. How funny you are, how talented you are, how hardworking and handsome and amazing of a person you are. So I was like, ‘I could finally talk to Ryker Jackson’. People always spoke so highly of you behind your back, I just had to know.” He answered.

I was so astonished. Jason Harvey just inadvertently called me handsome.

“Si, so you wanted to be friends with me?” I said.

He shook his head. “Well, yeah. I guess I just got off on the wrong foot. I don’t know why but you make me kind of nervous. Like when I’m around you my brain just turns into soup. My heart starts beating really hard. I f. eel like I’m about to faint. The air turns to shards of glass. My tongue feels weird.”

“That’s weird.” I said.

I took a sip of my tea, as I watched Jason stare the flower vase. He was in thought, I could tell. Thinking about something that I had not the slightest idea of.

“So what’s your problem?” He said.

I was caught off guard. The way he said it wasn’t nice at all. Kind of rude. Like he was upset and angry. I felt as if I was looking myself in the mirror. In the brief time that I had known Jason, he had never ever been angry but he looked very angry now.

“Well my Dad is cheating on my mom. I have an eating disorder. I still don’t know why my girlfriend hasn’t called me in days. I’m a mess and I’m sorry.”

Before I knew what was happening. I felt the warmth of large, plump lips pressed against mine. Tasting like cinnamon, mint, and honey. Every doubt, worry, and fear, left me in that fleeting moment. The world didn’t seem so bad, the sky seemed more blue. I could feel his hands slowly making their way up my arms, turning them to noodles. He weakened me with just his lips.

I didn’t want that kind of power over me.

I pushed him away after a few seconds.

“You can’t do that.” I stated.

He raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“You can’t just walk into my life and ruin things for me. You just can’t. So go find someone else.”

I took my tea and left the room.

Knowing his lips were the only thing I could feel or taste.

~~~

When the sun finally came up I decided to skip everything that I usually did and opted for food again instead. I put on some clothes and hurried to the kitchen so I could make myself a breakfast burrito before I went to the park and ran my five miles.

But of course God wasn’t letting me off that easy.

Kameron, in his emoji pajamas and bright red t-shirt, was pouring oatmeal into the same pot that began my adultery. Jason, was sitting at that light oak wood table that began my obsession. His lips sipping from the same blue cup I had drank out of only a few hours ago. His lips in a romance over the cold tea he drank from.

“I really didn’t think you guys would be up at seven o’clock.” I said.

Kameron laughed, “Well I have a photoshoot to go to, and I don’t wanna go on an empty stomach.”

Jason and I made eye contact for exactly seven seconds between me walking to the refrigerator.

“How did you sleep?” Kam said.

“Very little.” I answered.

“How about you, Jason?” Kam asked again.

“Same here didn’t get much sleep.” Jason said.

I block Kameron’s view of me with the refrigerator door and glared at Jason, who raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at me. It was like he had no shame. He even smiled, his jowls at work making me feel even a bit more awful than usual.

“Well, I slept like a sloth. Dreamed about Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Hudson dancing, with me in between like an icecream sandwhich. It was God-like in nature, but then I realized that I’m single and have a trip to Milan in a few weeks. So I was even happier!” Kam gloated.

I nodded. “Sounds exciting.”

I zipped up my track jacket and slipped on my running shoes. I took a few good sips of orange juice.

“I’ll probably be back when you leave so don’t set the alarm.” I warned.

Kam nodded, “Alright.”

I then took out the front door up a trail that I had grown accustomed to. Believe it or not, last night wasn’t the first time that I had stormed out of the house in a fit of rage. This had happened multiple times beforehand. My father was a very busy man, so he was barely ever home. He would leave for months, and I was so responsible that he really didn’t care to leave me without an au pair or a babysitter of any sort. When he did come home, it was like living with a complete stranger. He was extremely distant, we didn’t have that much in common besides me looking a bit more like him than my mother, and he treated me more like a chore than an actual son.

Don’t get me wrong. My father cared for me, he wanted to make sure that I was as best off as possible. He would attend my recitals, and my speeches. He was there when I unveiled my first clothing line in Paris. He even sat next to my mother, who was also in the fashion show. He told me he loved me, and he would take me to the movies. My father would jog with me in the winter and I talk about important things with him like about politics and how he felt about certain things.

But for some reason, I just didn’t feel honest around him. I was always trying to hold myself up to a higher importance and a better standard that I thought would be necessary to live up to his expectations. So I would end up taking all the stress, anger, discomfort, and lies, and just bury them way down deep inside of me.

So when we did end up getting into an argument, it borderlined on violent. Waves of repeated anger would just spill out of me and everything that I so desperately tried to contain would just expel out of my system. Then I would leave.

Usually, I would call my mom and get on a jet to Nice, France. Where my mom lived. Before I a few weeks ago, I used to believe that the only reason my mom was staying in France was because she wanted to be closer to my half-brothers, and also so that she could manage her fashion empire. Now I know that my parents aren’t exactly even on speaking terms anymore.

I would spend weeks in France, with my mom. She was nice, but she never listened to me. I would have things, she would take me places with my brothers, who were both nineteen. Sometimes we would look at designs together, and complain about international shipping. My mom never spoke English around me though, only French. She didn’t like to talk about my father, and she didn’t like to talk about my problems. When I did talk to her about my problems, she would just nod and then immediately talk about somethings else.

Then, I would fly back to L.A. make up all of my missed homework and tip off the paparazzi, then I would most likely buy oxi from Dani and get on with my plastic life.

But this time was different.

I knew this was going to happen again because believe it or not I learn quick. I had been looking at places to rent at and I had finally found one, so after my morning jog I was going to go get some stuff from my father’s house to ship it to my new apartment.

I had been lost in thought for so long that I didn’t notice the steady beat of footsteps running behind me. I turned to see Jason, jogging right next to me. I rolled my eyes.

“I literally can’t get more than five minutes away from you.” I said.

“Well we need to talk.” Jason asked. He looked serious for once, he wasn’t really smiling.

I tried to run faster than him, but he was pretty good at getting up to pace with me.

“Run with me.” I said.

He grinned.

I took off full speed, I had been running for around two years and my thighs were looking mighty fine. Jason was also a runner, so both of us were evenly matched. With every step and every breath in and out I felt alive again.

I ran faster and faster and faster.

Soon I wasn’t even thinking, everything opened up for me. I felt everything inside of me working like a V12 engine. I felt like I was walking on air, the wind rushing off my skin, the breaths in and out feeling like thunder, the smell of lilac and gunsmoke in the air. Everything felt alive.

When I finally stopped, I turned around to see where Jason was.

He was still trying to catch up. When he finally caught up to me he was panting like a newbie.

“Oh come on, track star. That was like a mile run.” I mocked.

He was still panting. “We … ran … six … miles.”

I was surprisingly confused. “We did not run six miles, Jason. Come on.”

He finally caught his breath and stood up. “We’ve been running for thirty minutes.”

I was ignorant to the fact that I was running so long and so fast because I had always ran that fast and that long. It had just become longer and faster. My uncle described it as my “rage run”. When I was younger I ran with my uncle when my father wasn’t around. Every time I did so I would go on a huge rant and fit and he would just allow it to happen. Every time it happened I would completely blank and just run as fast as I could. Soon enough, I wasn’t even yelling … I was just running. I lost a lot of weight and got a lot of numbers.

“Sorry I guess I was rage running?” I apologized.

“What’s rage running?” Jason wheeze.

“Running when you’re very emotional.” I answered.

He walk-limped over to me. His hands on his hips and his chest sucking in air like a train.

“So we need to talk.” He continued.

“About what?” I said.

“About last night?” He huffed.

I shook my head. “There’s really nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is.” He insisted.

“Fine.” I waved my hand. “Talk about it, if that’s what helps you.”

“That kiss … it meant everything to me. Maybe it didn’t mean much to you, but to me it meant a lot. I have gone through so much shit lately, and last night I was reminded that I wasn’t the only person struggling.”

“That ‘kiss’ didn’t mean anything, Jason. I have a girlfriend, remember?” I dodged.

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “You don’t even know where she is.”

I shot him an aggravated glance. “I don’t have to keep track of her all the time.”

“Really?” Jason took his opening. “Homework? None of our teachers give out homework on Homecoming Week, it’s a tradition. You really think that she’s doing homework … or maybe she doing something or someone else. Huh?”

“Damn you, Jason Harvey.” I cursed.

He took it jokingly and smiled handsomely. “You don’t know what I know, Ryker Jackson.”

He then took his water bottle and walked back of towards Kameron’s house and started jogging.

I had lied again, that kiss was something but I couldn’t possibly tell him that, it would ruin my reputation.

I sighed heavily and started to jog back with him. If I was going to get to the bottom of this I had to go to Sparrow James’ house.

The worst decision I ever made.

#HASM #High and All So Mighty #gay #gay love story #gay fanfiction #love story #funny #romance #teen novel #lgbtq #Akastai

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