#best damn helmsman in the alliance fleet

[spaced0lphin]

A very happy N7 Day to those Commanders who have the same special relationship with that ornery pilot that I do. Dear Bioware, it’s been a decade, and I’m Still Mad :) With these remasters I’m hoping they announce today, there’s gonna be a fresh influx of people who were fans of him, and fans of him for the first time, and won’t it be nice to have some fun content waiting! :D Some people draw Jeff as being really muscular but I don’t see him that way at all. Dude sits in a chair all day and has a condition that makes strenuously working out kind of an issue. I think he’d be slender, built arms but overall kinda trim, with some delicate squish. Perfect boyfriend material in my HUMBLE opinion. Listen I know Shepard isn’t like technically in this one but I’m tagging it Shoker anyway since I tried to make it obvious it’s in her cabin. (Or his, you know, whatever)

[alyssalenko]

I have been playing Mass Effect for 14 years and I discovered something new while playing the Legendary Edition. Normally after stealing the Normandy, I go to the A.R.O. in the hold to sell my stuff and get one more rank 10 Spectre Weapon set and then save on the galaxy map pedestal and then go straight to Ilos so Kaidan and I can bang. But I discovered everyone on the Normandy has something to say about stealing it (except Kaidan in my playthrough because he says it all in my room ;D). So I took screenshots in case this was news to everybody else. Due to the amount of photos, it will have to be in parts. XD

Stealing the Normandy Part 1: Joker

Pressly || Chakwas || Liara || Adams || Tali || Garrus || Wrex || Kaidan

[fliightliieutenant]

                                                         once you have tasted flight,                               you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,                                                           for there you have been,                                               and there you will always long to return

                                           fliightliiuetenant

                                                  rules & dossier                                       follows from @cinnamonspices

[alyssalenko]

Omgomgomg! Look at how they are looking at each other! How stupidly in love they are with one another! This is a gorgeous piece of art work and I love it so so much! I can always use more Abby and Joker and I can't stop staring at it! Thank you, darlin! I love my present!

Happy holidays, @alyssalenko​! I hope you enjoy this picture of Abigail and Joker, as part of the @masseffectcreativecircle Secret Santa exchange. 

[tloakswhore]

“I’m not good. I’m not even great. I’m the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet.”

____

Day 27 of my N7 month.

[viewfromthevault]

“I’m not good. I’m not even great. I’m the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet.”

Four down, two to go!

[spectreofhope]

Met Mass Effect 1 Squad tag dump

Ashley Williams - AW: That’s not a problem is it? That I believe in God?

Garrus Vakarian - GV: There’s no Shepard without Vakarian

Kaidan Alenko - KA: A big gun and a confidant attitude will get you through a lot in life

Jeff “Joker” Moreau - JM: I’m the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet

Liara T'Soni - LT: Because I couldn’t let you go

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy - TZ: After time adrift among open stars I will return to where I began

Urdnot Wrex - UW: Just because I like you doesn’t mean I won’t kill you

[thatonecurlygurl]

Smokin’ Smirkin’ Joker

Had the privilege of commissioning one of my all time favorite artists @duckydrawsart for this awesome art of my boy Joker; who will always be the best damn helmsman in the Alliance Fleet. 

[jessipalooza]

Steady As She Goes

Steady. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Steady. Steady as she goes. Back straight. Feet apart. Shoulders squared. Chin up. Do not look afraid. Do not let them see that you are afraid. He is not here. This is where you belong. Steady. Breathe--

“Captain?”

Esme was pulled from her thoughts abruptly, sucking in a breathe at the familiar voice. She did not need to turn to see Lucien, and neither did she need to look at him to know his expression held thinly veiled concern. She could hear it in his tone.

“Aye? What is it?” she asked, her own tone sharp. He would not dare challenge her, especially not on deck. He was too soft, too kind for that, and Trinivar was not there to shove him aside and be rough with her.

“Faervell Bael’nar’s company has departed onto the shores. They’re ready for battle at the port, and the Alliance fleet--”

“They are waiting for the winds to shift,” she said, staring towards the menacing white and blue sails. “They are baiting us to make the first move because we are both slight windward. I can stand here and stare at them all day if that is what they wish. It will be up to the wind.”

Lucien frowned, still staring at Esme, but nodding nonetheless. “The other Captains have been told as such. If they move, we are to match them. Until then….”

“Do not,” she cut in. Casting a glance down from her position near the helm of The Lily, she instinctively noted anyone within ear’s shot. Already, she could feel her heart start to pound slightly harder in her chest.

“It is just--.... It is your first time back at sea since--”

“Do not,” she hissed.

“You saw something,” Lucien whispered stubbornly. “You went through something and then afterwards, you saw something.”

“Lucien Lightwing, I swear to the gods above and below, if you continue this, I will have you moved down to the damned brig until I am no longer angry, and you and I both know how long that will be.”

Esme stared her second down, her fel-tainted eyes sharp with vitriol that he was usually safe from. However, he knew her, and stared back. He knew her, and he knew he was right. She had not been on the sea since the Widow’s Bane had been sunk. Since she saw that familiar ship - since she saw the White Widow.

He knew she had seen something too. Beaten and broken and trying not to mourn her ship, her home, she had seen him.

She had seen Karsteth.

He had been standing in front of her. Faervell had seen him too. He had taunted her. He had told her that he knew where she was. That he could see her. That he watched her. He told her--

Steady. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Steady.

Esme’s breathing held a shudder, but nonetheless, she did as she told herself to do.

Steady as she goes.

“I am capable, Lucien.”

Back straight. Feet apart. Shoulders squared. Chin up.

She saw the pain reflected in his eyes. He did not believe her, and - if only for a moment - she hated him for it.

“Aye, Captain.”

“--CAP’N! THE WINDS!”

Esme and Lucien immediately looked up at the cry from the crow’s nest. Their eyes immediately locked onto the windsock and their jaws both set. The two exchanged grave looks. Esme’s stomach hardened.

“THEY’RE HEADIN’ THIS WAY! THEY’VE GOT THE WIND ON THEIR SIDE, CAP’N!”

Muscle memory kicked in. Esme immediately began to stride down from the helm, replaced by the helmsman within seconds. She called out with a crisp and sharp tone of voice, “To arms! Ready yourselves! The other Captains know what to do and, dammit, so do we! They are from Stormwind, but they’ve been along Kul Tirans long enough now, so do not underestimate their ability to ride that wind for all its worth!”

The Lily sprang to life as it had a million times before. It had been so long, longer than she cared to admit. It should have warmed her heart, to see the men and women that had so generously given to her their loyalty work and work hard, as though she had always been on the deck of the ship for each and every day.

But all she could see was Arenaia at the helm, and then blown back by cannon fire. Octavia tugging at the rigging, and then hanging lifeless from the same ropes. Vothe laughing as he hauled up the anchor with the rest, and then slumped over on the shore, washed up with the rest of them.

Esme closed her eyes and fought against the images. This was not the Widow’s Bane. This was the Lily. She was not fighting against Karsteth. She was fighting against the Alliance.

Steady. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.

“THEY’RE COMIN’ IN SWIFT CAP’N!”

“AYE, READY THE CANNONS!” Esme shouted back.

Steady. Steady as she goes.

It was not the Widow’s Bane. She stared at the Alliance ships as though her very life depended on them rather than see them as a threat. They kept her grounded, especially as she heard the warning taunting shots from the Alliance. The thunder from the cannons that were meant specifically to shake them. Normally such tactics fell on deaf ears, but with each fire, her heart leapt and shuddered in her chest. Her mind struggled to remain within her body.

Do not look afraid. Do not let them see that you are afraid.

“They are going to be within reach of the cannons in seconds, Cap’n. Orders?”

Esme opened her eyes and looked to the side for Lucien, for a second of thought before an answer, but she did not find herself looking at the sea or at her second. Her stomach dropped. Her face paled. Her eyes widened.

He is here.

He was smirking at her in a way he had so many times before - when Faervell had been beside her, when she had been in the brig and torn to bits, when she was down in the dark and damp hull, when he had them toss the bodies overboard including her mother and the captain. The gnarled scar of a hand over his right eye was pronounced, the eye unnatural. He was smirking and staring at her.

And then he was gone.

“Kars--”

“INCOMING!”

Esme did not have the time, nor ability, to turn. The Alliance frontal cannons peppered the Crimson Fleet, and The Lily’s bow splintered.

It happened all over again. It was happening all over again.

Another call of a ship coming up close.

--No, the ships were already there. They--

A crack.

A number of cracks.

Thunder.

The whistle of cannons.

The ear-piercing explosions.

Splinters of wood.

Clouds of smoke and dust.

Shouts.

Screams.

She was frozen in place, and no amount of steady breathing could do her any good. It was as though her mind separated itself from her body. She was floating above, watching the carnage. They were against the wind, and the Alliance was not. Their ships were primarily slight, and the Alliance vessels were large and built for war. She watched the other captains, the other ships try their best, but they were at a disadvantage.

Cannon fire back and forth, screaming, shouting, thundering, explosions.

Blood, water, wood, smoke, fire, ash.

She watched the battle from above while she remained incapable of moving below. She existed in two places simultaneously and she felt a certain void, a numbness upon watching her crewmen and the other ships, the other captains, scramble to fight a force that had just enough on their side to turn the tides in their favor.

It was a nightmare.

It was real.

And just as the tides of battle pulled back, ready for the final crashing wave upon the Crimson Fleet, Esme was shoved back into her body. She suddenly felt just how much her heart was racing - so fast it felt as though it might burst. She could feel the cold sweat. Her eyes were wide. She was breathing so fast, so incredibly fast. Her feet felt like lead.

There was a crash, and suddenly, she was shoved hard in the arm. She hit the railing, and as she toppled over the edge, she caught a glimpse of Lucien, bloodied from his head and a missing ear. He had pushed her. Why had he pushed--

A thunderous blow and an explosion. Before she hit the water, the final hit to the Lily sent her flying further away. She hit the water, and then all went black.

…

…

Steady.

…

Steady.

…

“Steady!”

The voice sounded so far away. It was unfamiliar. It was in common. It was far. She felt full. She felt heavy.

“Steady! Pull her up!”

“--Oi, oi, that’s the ones they call the Spec--”

“Aye! Aye! Just keep her steady!”

So far away. Her back hurt. Her head hurt. She felt full. She felt like she was choking. She felt heavy. She was being lifted up and up. Then hands grabbed for her. So many hands.

“Steady! Over the railing-- get irons! Put her in irons! Take that sword!”

“She’s got sea water in her--”

“Aye, push--”

She felt something come down hard on her chest. Again. Again. Again--

She turned to the side and coughed. Sea water sprang up from her gut, burned her throat, and spilled onto the deck. She was on a deck. Where was she? Was she dead? She was shoved against the deck. Her arms were yanked behind her. Irons were clapped on her wrists. She was so confused, she was so lost, but all she could focus on was coughing. She needed to breathe. She needed to find out what was going on. She needed to breathe.

Steady. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Steady.

Steady as she goes.

@thesunguardmg | @pyrar | @felthier 

[spaced0lphin]

10 Songs Meme

I was tagged by both @alyssalenko and @swaps55 So, here are ten songs that remind me of Joker, because, like, why not? Songs on this list remind me of different elements of his personality, from silly to kind of serious. OBVIOUSLY this list works best from my particular shipping standpoint of pairing him up with FShep and if people want a specifically Shoker playlist I can do that, but like, whatever send me an Ask or something, anyways, all links are to YouTube and have some relevant lyrics because like rip to ur dash but im different:

Cake - Short Skirt / Long Jacket

I want a girl who gets up early I want a girl who stays up late I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machete to cut through red tape With fingernails that shine like justice And a voice that is dark like tinted glass She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack She’s touring the facilities and picking up slack I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket

Stealers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle With You

Well I don’t know why I came here tonight I’ve got the feeling that something ain’t right I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair And I’m wondering just how I’ll get down the stairs Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

If you need me, call me No matter where you are No matter how far Don’t worry, baby Just call my name, I’ll be there in a hurry You don’t have to worry ’Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough Ain’t no valley low enough Ain’t no river wide enough To keep me from getting to you, babe

Tally Hall - Haiku

La da dee diddum Lada da dum doo diddle Dum doo la dee do There, that’s sufficient I wrote a haiku for you! Well I tried at least And that’s not so bad I’m working here Can that be said for you?

Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone

Out along the edges Always where I burn to be The further on the edge The hotter the intensity

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Learning to Fly

I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Coming down is the hardest thing Well the good ol’ days may not return The rocks might melt and the sea may burn I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Coming down is the hardest thing

Bread - He’s a Good Lad

He’s a good lad A little bit wild but his style is really gentle and kind He ain’t so bad Right to the end he’s a friend about the best you can find As you come to know him and his needs are comin’ through You’ll flash on the day I was talkin’ to you And he needs somebody to love Yes, he needs somebody to be worthy of He’s a good lad, he’s a good lad And if you come to want him like I know he wants you to You’ll see all the things I was sayin’ are true Tellin’ the truth

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill

And if I only could I’d make a deal with God And I’d get Him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill Be running up that building With no problems (In specific, I imagine that to be in relation to going up to the Crucible.)

The Midnight - Dance With Somebody

Take off your armour, friend of mine I have no arrows, but I got time All your sorrow keeps you glued to your seat Can we get you out of your head and into your feet And it’s not that the rest of us don’t have the blues It’s just that some dance partners need a dance partner, too Is that you?

John Parr - Saint Elmo’s Fire

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin’ sky I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’, higher and higher Gonna be your man in motion, all I need’s this pair of wheels Take me where my future’s lyin,’ Saint Elmo’s Fire

Oh also I’m shite at tagging if you wanna do the thing please do the thing consider yourself tagged. If you see this post, you’re tagged. Get on my level

[alyssalenko]

Undisclosed Desires

Another secret Santa fic where I got to play a little with Joker and Shep's relationship. A03

After saving Shepard and Crew from the active volcano on Therum, Joker comes to a startling realization about the nature of his and Shepard's relationship...too bad he won't get the chance to tell her...

The doors to the cockpit whooshed open behind Joker--Shepard always walked with purpose and came to talk to him after each mission, and by now, her footsteps were completely unmistakable. She just had this aura of power she exuded that didn’t come from her N7 training or the rank of Commander; it came from her very soul. He smiled a little; he'd started looking forward to their little chats and banter which always seemed to toe the line of friendly and flirty. But they both knew better than to cross that line, every reg against fraternization keeping them in check. Though each assignment was getting more dangerous, and he found himself nervously watching the feed from Shepard's armor cam when her boots were on the ground, concern with her safety and guilt eating away at him that he couldn't do anything. She kept throwing herself into dangerous situations and he could only watch helplessly from the sidelines and that was eating away at him, though he couldn't quite place why. He grabbed the bill of his hat and pulled it off his head before replacing the garment, using his nervous tick to hide the tremor in his hands.

"I prefer gold to silver. You know, for my medal. I figured you'd recommend me for one since I pulled your, uh, boots out of the fire."

"I'm not sure you want that." Shepard fired back, making Joker smirk and raise an eyebrow--daring her to explain. "If we present you with a medal, you'll end up sitting on stage listening to politicians making speeches for a couple hours."

"That's a good point. They'd probably make me shave, too. I spent the last seven weeks working on this baby." Joker mused, running his hands through his whiskers. "No medal's worth that."

"Right?" She patted his cheek fondly. "That was seven weeks well spent, if you want my opinion. The beard is sexy--just imagine the stubble burn it would leave."

Joker's mouth dropped open as Pressly called her away to look something over, Shepard sauntering away and leaving him alone in the cockpit with his thoughts, her comment lingering in the air between them. Had she really thought about that with him? Well fuck, if he wasn't thinking about it now, too. Joker took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek. His innocent deflection so he didn't say how torn up he'd been about not having any radio contact until they emerged from an erupting active volcano on Therum, had taken a turn he hadn't expected; she'd gone a smidgen too far, but now the image was it was living rent free inside his head and stoking the fires of his indecent mind.

Joker would be the first to admit that he was very attracted to her—for more than just her looks, though those were incredible too.

It was her presence; Shepard was fiercely protective of everyone around her and inspired him to be better without even trying. It was one of the best things about her. She was funny, sarcastic, good, headstrong, determined and crazy sexy beautiful. She'd wormed her way into his life, and he found himself agonizing over the footage from her armor cam, just praying she made it back safely because he wasn't sure what he would do if she didn't. Caught himself waiting for her to come talk to him after a mission. Finding himself very aware of her presence and inadvertently taking deep lungfuls of the light, floral scent of her perfume. Not to mention, she could go toe to toe with him and not back down, matching his sarcasm and sardonic sense of humor with her own--a side of her only Joker got to see that she hid underneath her rank. It had only been a few months but she was quite possibly the one person in the galaxy that could keep up with him.

And he loved her.

Joker froze as the realization hit him, swearing quietly under his breath--he loved her.

Jeff Moreau, the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet, who had always made it a point to hide his emotions behind humor as a way to never let someone see just how affected he was by anything, was suddenly feeling them all. Somewhere along the way he had fallen hard for Commander Shepard--his commanding officer--and if someone asked, he wouldn't even be able to pinpoint the exact moment it happened...and he couldn't even tell her about it. The regs against fraternization were very clear. It wasn't fair. Of course he had to figure it out at just about the least appropriate time, while they were chasing a madman and a rogue Spectre across the galaxy--without knowing if they were going to come out on the other side of all this. Joker turned his chair towards the open cockpit door and gazed at her across the CIC where she was laughing and talking with Pressly, running his fingers through his hair.

If anyone saw the way he was looking at their CO, blue-green eyes flicking down her body, taking in every curve and how she filled out her BDUs, they didn't show it. Not while he held their lives in his hands while at the helm. He sighed and turned back around, pressing the button on his console to close the door to the rest of the ship so he could be alone with his thoughts as he set course for Feros. He drummed his fingers against the arm of his chair, grabbing the bill of his cap and tossing the garment onto the console in front of him in frustration. All worked up and no outlet. It wasn't like him to be so worked up like this...but it also wasn't like him to be lusting after his best friend. He'd keep it professional--they had a job to do, and for now, he wouldn't let his emotions get in the way.

If they stopped Saren, he'd confront these feelings; sit her down and talk to her to see if there was any future to be had together...

[fliightliieutenant]

tag dump

[the-promise-has-been-made]

I never noticed that during the drop-off on Ilos Joker is not wearing his cap!!! that is the first time I see him without it OMG I really never noticed this!!!

[terraqua111]

If your name is Jeff, follow me. You might be the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet.

if youre name is jeff unfollow me. you might be a the killer.

[alyssalenko]

I finally immortalized Marina Shepard and her lovers in black and white (They're kind of my guilty pleasure because of this oneshot I wrote almost two years ago... ) I was hoping to use it as a kick in the pants to finish the next two WIPs I've been sitting on with the three of them. Hasn't happened yet. But I have gotten farther on them ;) (also Joker was a little shit and when I tried to remove his hat he made my life so difficult and didn't want to blend. So he got to keep it...)

[alyssalenko]

I made three early Christmas edits of my darling and precious @naromoreau's favorite pilot. This is the first one I made, and it was going to be the only one but then I thought, she needs a NSFW one too. And then I thought but if his hat isn't covering his modesty, wouldn't it be on his head? So I had to make a third. I am trying to figure out where to post the other two which are full nude. But enjoy this one anyways ;) and an early Merry Christmas NaroMoreau!