#best case is they are busy and im dumb

[breadbowll]

Oof my friends haven't texted or communicated with me for two days and now I'm sitting here like "🥲 ah yes I finally scared em off" like they aren't busy AF 😭

[cheonstapes]

omg plss do a miguel x bimbo reader im in love <3

miguel o'hara stars in... 'HANDY MIGGY'

(っ╹ᆺ╹)っ

a/n ~ I. LOVE. BIMBOS!!!! thank you for the request sweetie, love you💗 miguel would deffo love a cute little bimbo, i just know it

summary; you don't know how to change your tyres. why would you? that's what your boyfriend's for!

pairing; miguel o'hara x bimbo!reader

wc; 1.4k+

cw; SMUT!!!!, breeding kink (can you tell i have a breeding kink), semi-public sex, fuckin on the car, reader speaks a bit of spanish, daddy kink, meanish!dom miguel, sub!reader, reader is a bit stupid, princess treatment!, reader is a bad bitch, overstimulation, squirting, orgasm control, teensy bit of aftercare, THEY'RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR, nawt proofread - i cannot drive, yet.

surely you weren’t that dumb? were you?

standing there in the 40° heat - wedge sandals, short skirt with your thong riding high on your hips, sweat-sheened tits spilling our of your cute little crop top. a girl always has to look her best, even when she’s about to melt into a puddle from the sun. doing things that required you to use your brain wasn’t something you did often, that’s what your boyfriend’s for! 

to be fair, you were never big on cars. barely passing your drivers test, and your daddy getting you your first car shortly after - you didn’t really want to drive around everywhere yourself, the pink porsche taycan collecting dust in your garage, being a passenger princess is the lifestyle now. unfortunately for you, your boyfriend - even though he would collect all the stars in the sky for you if you asked - refuses to let you put that car to waste. so now you’re forced to resurrect the thing, cleaning it up a little bit - and…you have to change the tyre’s. 

you even forgot about the punctures, after you accidentally drove over a few spikes in the road coming out of the wrong exit - sometimes you question why you ever qualified for a license. all the tyres were severely fucked up, deflated so much they look like they melted into the floor. your daddy gave you a bunch of spares in case (he knew it would) it ever happened. they were just so heavy, though. you weren’t built for lugging around fucking tyres - but your boyfriend is!!

so you called him, in the middle of the day, knowing he’s probably busy doing his big man job or whatever - but you knew he would drop everything to come and help you, this is an emergency girl! to no one’s surprise, he got there within 15 minutes of you ending the call, speeding into your driveway as he jumps out of the car. sometimes, you forget how mouthwateringly sexy your boyfriend is. 

a tight black compression shirt, matching shorts that clung to his thick thighs - black rimmed sunglasses matching yours pushing his hair back. not to mention the little grimace on his face from stepping out in the heat. “what’s up, baby? you ok? need me to get anything for you?” aw, he was so worried. he’s gonna be so pissed when he finds out what you really need him for.

“hi papito, so glad you’re here.” let’s try to sweet talk him a little bit, maybe it won’t be so bad if you give him a little love - the one thing he can’t resist. you hold his face in your hands, pressing a glossy kiss on his puckered lips. his brows furrow slightly, big hands resting on your hips as he pulls you close him, a low moan escaping him as he pulls away. “good to see you too, angel.” he had an amused smirk on his face, lightly caressing your ass under your skirt. “now, tell me what you need help with.”

nodding, you shyly take his hand in yours and lead him to the garage. it was a mess, to say the least - tools scattered everywhere, tyres rolling around where they’re not supposed to be, something that looked like grease spilled on the floor. “the fuck were you tryna do here, babe?” you smiled sheepishly, looking down at the floor before looking back up at him with round eyes. 

“…’m tryna change my tyres.” 

he rolled his eyes, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at you - an unimpressed look on his face. “god, you’re really a-

——————————————————————————————————

- dumb, fuckin’ slut, aren’t you?” the hood of your car was covered in a mix of your shared arousal, drool dripping out of your swollen lips down your chest. “only good for taking this fat cock, hm?”

hard nipples rubbing against your windshield, body jolting violently as your boyfriend abused his cock into your cunt. he was stretching you out so deliciously, his arms under your legs to keep you stable. “m-miggy, mm- fuuuuck, ‘s too much!” he really didn’t care, not when you looked so pretty under him. secretly, he loved how much you would rely on him - seeing that look on your face when you’d ask him for help, shit if it didn’t make him so fucking hard. but, god did he love to punish you for it. 

“too much for your stupid, little brain, baby? y’re so cute, you know that?” nodding dumbly, you grind your hips back onto his, flipping up your skirt to slam your ass onto his pelvis so he can watch the cheeks ripple. miguel let out a low growl, slamming a hand down by your head so he can lean against your back, the other gripping your hip. “just wanna fuck you ‘till you’re nothin’ but a senseless breeding bitch f’r me.” his breathing was heavy against your ear, sharp teeth nicking at the sensitive skin. 

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you muñeca? quieres que te llene de mi semen. esta linda barriga toda pesada con mis bebés. wouldn’t let you raise a finger again, ‘m gonna do everything f’r you - since you’re too fuckin’ dumb to do it yourself, gorgeous.” he had such a mouth on him, didn’t he. that didn’t sound too bad, being a stay at home mum. as long as you don’t have to do anything, then you’d happily stay plugged up with his cum all the time.

his balls were heavy, smacking against your stiff clit as he worked your hips back on him. the sensations were overwhelming. every ounce of your body was feeling the pleasure, the reflection of his strained face through the windshield making you clench tightly around him. he hissed, smacking your cunt before gripping your neck and holding you against his hard chest. “stop fuckin’ clenching. if there’s anything that small brain of yours should comprehend, it’s don’t cum till i tell you to.” 

“papitooo- please, i need’ta cum - i can feel it, baby!” you, poor, poor thing. too bad he doesn’t give a fuck. he pounded into you even harder, blunt head bullying your cervix. he quickly flipped you around, pressing your back onto the car as he gripped your hips, grinding slowly into you. “hold it.”

angling his hips just right, he drove his fat cock deeper into you, coarse hairs tickling your clit. his fingers trailed up your body, ripping your shirt as he flicked your nipples, spitting on your chest to get them nice and wet. “y’re so pretty, mm, my pretty baby.” his balls tightened, cock twitching hard inside of you as his tip drooled all over your walls.

“gonna cum in your tight, fuckin’ cunt, babe - rub your clit f’r me, or is that too hard for you?” he was so cruel but so sweet. sadistically watching your shaky fingers work your aching clit as his pelvis slammed into you. “goood girl. squirt f’r me, muñeca.” he gazed deep into your eyes, big hands caressing your cheek. 

it all gushed out at once, a heavy stream jetting out of your and coating his chest as he let out a deep chuckles, plugging you up with his girth. he fucked you through it, pinching at your throbbing bud as you shook in his hold. “w-wait, miggy, ‘m too sensitive!” he grabbed your wrists, pinning them to the car. he let out a low snarl, covering you completely as he rammed deep inside. “quiet. keep that pretty mouth shut.” he didn’t realise how much that would set him off, his orgasm coming before he could even process it.

his whole body tensed up, ass clenching, fingers bruising your hips, hips jutting in and out of you - filling you to the brim with his cum. he was breathing sluggishly, pulling your hips down towards him to keep all his seed inside. “you…you did so good, baby. i love you, yeah? so much.” he whispered, leaning down to kiss your face affectionately. “i love you too, papito.”

you stayed there for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other as you found each others lips, making out smoothly on the car. you pulled a way, placing a hand on his chest - staring at the new tyres that he fixed on for you. “migs?” he nodded, kissing and biting your neck.

“how do i change the oil?”

-quieres que te llene de mi semen. esta linda barriga toda pesada con mis bebés - you want to be filled with my cum. this cute tummy all heavy with my babies.

-muñeca - doll

-papito - daddy

-i wanna be a bimbo doll!

[pascalswift]

TEACH ME

DBF!JOEL x INNOCENT!FREADER

SUMMARY: with your father out of town on contracting business and you being left under the eye of Joel, and during a neighborhood get together you over hear something that confuses you. So who better to ask then Joel himself.

WARNINGS: really clueless reader, readers a little dumb in this IM WARNING YOU, bit of dark!joel, grinding, dirty talk, fingering, but of boob play, age gap (reader is 22 Joel in late 30's), alcohol consuming, pet names like baby and sweetheart.

YOU WERE HONESTLY PRETTY CONFUSED AS YOU SAT ON A STOOL surrounded by a couple of girls who were a few years older than you. They were giggly and giddy as they talked about their various experience, you however just listened. It wasn't that they were unkind but you were just to confused to continue sitting there in your bit too short white summer dress. So ultimately you decided to make up a meek excuse to exit this way too complex conversation.

"I'm gonna get another drink, do you guys want anything?" You asked standing up and pulling your dress down a bit, one of the girls Alisha smiled sweetly at you and shook her head. "No thank you, we're good." You nodded as you heard them continue talking whilst you headed inside.

"And he does this thing with his tongue!"

Walking inside you basked in the AC coming from the vent a stark contrast to how hot it was outside. Looking around you saw people scrambling in and out of the kitchen into the backyard as you searched around for Joel, making your way to the stair case you smiled kindly at the people who walked by before you made your way up and into the dark hallway.

Despite how bright it was outside, upstairs the blinds were closed to keep the heat out and no light poured under any of the doors. Except one, Joel’s office. You assumed he was in there and made your way to the door, the only sound in the hallway being your socks sliding against the wood and the occasional creek.

Peeking your head in through the crack you saw he was alone pouring himself a drink. Lightly knocking he muttered a come in and you slid through the crack shutting the door behind you, Joel’s face lit up as you walked in his office wearing nothing but that little sun dress. He knew it sounded perverted but, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to feel you, your lips, chest, legs, he wanted to be under that sundress. But he was a restrained man, he wouldn’t touch his best friends daughter. He was responsible and moral, right?

You grinned at him and sat on the couch in his office but he could tell something was on your pretty little mind. “What’s wrong baby?” Joel asked you as he walked over to the couch sitting down with his drink in hand, he watched your eyes trail to the liquid and he was sure you had never actually tasted alcohol before. You shook your head slightly and pulled your knees up to your chest focusing on the matter at hand.

“What’s fingering?” Joel sputtered as he heard it come out of your mouth, it sounded forgiven coming from you but he liked hearing you say something that had a dirty meaning. You quickly reeled in embarrassment sitting up straighter. “I heard Amy talking about it! She said that she got fingered and it was really good so I-“ Joel placed a large hand on your knee cutting your rambling off and when you look at him his eyes seemed to be shades darker than before.

He motioned you over with his hand and you sat up on your knees scooting closer to him but he grabbed your hand hauling you on his lap. One leg on each side of his own, straddling him and there was no barrier except a thin pair of underwear with a tiny pink bow and his jeans. He motioned you to take a deep breath and lifted the glass to your lips encouraging you to take a tiny sip to calm you down.

You tasted the burn quickly and your face scrunched up in disgust as you held your breath and swallowed it letting out a few caught before taking a deep breath and looking at joel who leaned over and set the glass down on the table. “Ew.” You mumbled and he chuckled as his hands settled on your thighs that were barley covered by the dress.

“Tell me joel please!” You said eagerly, bouncing a bit and Joel grabbed your hips in a bruising grip and his face contorted. “Don’t do that.” He spoke but his voice had dropped an octave and you frowned. “Sorry.” He shook his head. “It’s alright sweetheart, but I don’t know If I should be the one to tell you that.”

You frowned. “Why not? Can you just show me instead?!” He was sure you had no idea what you just asked of him but god if you did he would do it in a heartbeat. “Sweetheart, I can’t show you. It-“ he took a deep breath and let his hand slip back down to your thighs. “Have you ever touched yourself?” He asked and you furrowed your brows. “In your special place?”

Your cheeks flushed and you looked anywhere but him, shyly you shook your head and he nearly busted in his pants at how innocent and sweet you looked. “Can you just show me?” It was a mere whisper and he nearly missed it, but now he knew you knew what it involved and you were asking him of all people to touch you.

“You want me to touch you? Hm?” He asked grabbing your chin with his fingers making you look at him. You nodded but your cheeks were flaming and you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Please.” You mumbled and slowly you felt his hand slide under your dress and grasp your hips before moving you back and forth.

You gasped at the feeling as you felt something get harder under you and his head tossed back as his breathing picked up. “Feels weird.” You told him and he looked at you a bit darker and smirked at you. “But it feels good right? Gonna let me make you feel all better?” You nodded as he helped you pick up your pace and a small whimper left your lips as one of Joel’s hands made its way to the strap of your dress.

“Joel.” You whimpered and he nodded kissing your lips hard but with a bit of sweetness. You tried to keep up but this new feeling had you melting in his hands. “S’alright baby trust me.” He whispered against your lips before his free hand slipped down until his thumb placed pressure directly on your clit and an orgasm hit you hard. You felt tingly all over and your legs tried to shut, your mouth fell into an ‘O’ shape and heavy breaths escaped before your head fell on his shoulder.

You felt him place a hang on your back before you were flipped and placed on your back with your head placed on a pillow. He looked down at your hair splayed messily and dress strap slipping you reached up and kissed him again albeit your pace wasn’t anywhere near his but he found it cute that you tried to keep up for him.

“You Ready?” He asked you and you nodded before you let the strap fall and your dress slid down a bit before his hand reached up pulling the rest down as you nodded at him and your breast popped out and he leaned down placing open mouthed kisses all over them before you felt his mouth latch onto your nipple and the sound that escaped you was purely porn worthy. His lips trailed down until your dress was scrunched at your waist.

His hand grasped the hem of your underwear sliding them down and you lifted your hips as he pulled them all the way off. A groan escaped his lips as he saw you basically dripping still reeling from your previous orgasm, he was so tempted to taste and just devour you hood you down still you were sobbing and shaking but he remained calm on the outside.

The cold air made your hips jerk and you peered at Joel with blown out eyes, watching as his hands ran over every curve before he placed his hands on your inner knees and pushed them apart completely exposing everything. His hand moved down and it thumb massaged your clit. “S’gonna hurt a little but m’gonna make it feel good okay?” You nodded head a bit fuzzy as you felt his finger run through your folds.

One hand had his thumb massaging your clit and his second hand had the finger that was slowly prodding at your hole. He knew you were right, but god, he didn’t know you felt so good just on his finger. When his finger slipped inside your chest heaved and you grabbing the pillow behind your head.

He slowly pumped his first finger before slowly slipping in the next and you moaned in slight discomfort. “S’okay baby it’s only gonna be uncomfortable for a second.” You trusted him and he loved it, you nodded at him and he rubbed your clit a bit more and slowly the discomfort faded to pleasure and you bit your lip to suppress your moans.

His fingers picked up pace when he saw your face and heard the tiny whimpers you tried so hard to keep it. “Joel” is all you could keep repeating over and over, he leaned up kissing you hard leaving your lips bruised and he left open mouthed kisses and light bites all the way down to your breast. He felt you tighten against his fingers and it spurred him on faster and harsher. You moaned out loud grabbing his arm and your back arched off the couch as you whimpered looking up at him.

“S’okay baby let go,” The way you squeezed his fingers and the way you were seeing white was something neither of you had felt before. You couldn’t hear anything and you could only feel the soft massaging on your overstimulated clit and the emptiness inside you now. As you came back down from your high you felt his lips on your chest before he sweetly lifted it back up covering you and he pecked your lips helping you clean up.

“Joel?! Hey man you in there?”

THANKS FOR READINGGGGG <333

[evilminji]

:T Hello there, Thought(tm) of the day...

I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?

Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.

W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??

You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?

They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.

..........I bet they're the wooooorst~~✨️

No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.

Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.

Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.

They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.

Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.

They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.

Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?

Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!

*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*

Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.

Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.

Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~!

But THEN!

They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.

Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.

Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...

Just... impossible.

There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.

NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?

...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?

How?

Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).

They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.

It's traumatizing for everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!

And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.

Somethings telling him not too.

It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.

But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.

Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."

Huh?

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj

[yoon-kooks]

the airdrop incident | myg

🗿pairing: yoongi x reader

🗿genre: fluff, neighbor!au, f2l, childhood friends, best friend's brother

🗿summary: You accidentally AirDrop a racy photo of yourself in strappy lingerie to your hot and arrogant neighbor Min Yoongi.

🗿word count: 1k

a/n: yes this is for yoongi's bday and yes im 471298 years late🥹

An onlooker might be wondering why you’re standing outside your neighbor’s door at ass o’clock in nothing but an oversized tee, but the answer is simple. Mistakes were made. You’re an idiot.

But then he has the audacity to answer the door. “He” as in Min Yoongi, your childhood friend slash nemesis, the older brother of your best friend, or, in the simplest terms, your hot neighbor.

“Yes?” he raises a brow, staring at the way you’re shivering outside his door, the way your perky nipples are most definitely poking through your shirt. You’re sure he sees it all. But given the fact that he’s also seen you practically naked, you don’t even bother covering up. What’s the point?

“Did you, by chance, get an AirDrop like five minutes ago?” you get straight to the point. It’s fucking freezing, after all.

“Depends,” he hums, eyes still very much on your chest. You’re pretty sure he’s dating that pretty brunette you’ve seen sneaking in and out of his house lately, so why’s he looking at you like that? “What was the AirDrop?”

“A picture of me,” you mumble. It was freezing a minute ago, but now your face feels hot. That’s weird.

“Hmm, not sure if the one I’m thinking of is you or not.” The bastard puts on his most exaggerated thinking face—basically the thinking emoji with the hand on his chin. “What were you wearing?”

“Nothing!” you squeak at him. Both of you know no one fucking uses AirDrop except old people. He’s obviously playing dumb and knows what’s going on. He just wants to hear it from your mouth to make his ego bigger than it already is. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“Pretty sure you were wearing something…” he furrows his brow, unlocking his phone to “confirm” what he saw. Like your favorite villain Swiper the Fox, you snatch the phone out of his hand. (He actually just hands it to you, but you like the Dora reference.) “Ah, yes. Black strappy lingerie, right? I didn’t know you were like that, Y/N.”

“Fuck you,” you hiss as you search for the pic in question. AirDrop must have its own stupid section on the phone because you can’t find it anywhere.

“Relax, I already deleted it,” he chuckles. You’re not falling for it. Surely he’s already leaked the photo on OnlyFans. You don’t have a whole lot of faith in Min Yoongi. He’s never been The Nice Guy. “Who were you trying to send it to?”

“None of your business.” He has a girlfriend, after all. Why should he care about who you’re sending those kinds of pics to?

“My sister?”

“Fine. Yes, her.”

“You’re sneaking around sending nudes to my sister? On AirDrop?” he narrows his eyes. Why does he seem more disgusted at the AirDrop part? You’d laugh if you weren’t so stressed. “She’s in a very committed relationship, you know.”

“I’m aware.” You don’t know what’s worse—him thinking you’re hitting on his sister aka your best friend, or admitting the pic was from a photoshoot for your new job. There are no winners here. Might as well come clean. “She requested the pic so she could show support for her lingerie model best friend.”

“My little Y/N grew up and became a lingerie model?” He tilts his head, intrigued. He might’ve deleted the pic from his phone, but you bet the image is still ingrained in that fuckboy head of his. You wonder how his girlfriend feels about him thinking about other girls in that context. You’d feel shitty. “In that case, I’d also like to show support. Mind if you send the pic ag—” 

You cut him off with a growl.

“I kid, I kid.” He waves his hands so you don’t pounce on him. But then something occurs to him. “Wait, so AirDropping it to me wasn’t ‘an accident’?” he asks with air quotes.

“No, it was a real accident, Yoongi,” you scoff. You can’t believe he thought you’d intentionally sent that pic to him. He’s so full of himself.

“Well that’s no fun.”

“Elaborate.”

“It would’ve been kinda cute if you did it to get my attention,” he shrugs. “Just like when we were younger. Remember how you’d always tug on my arm and pout until I acknowledged you?”

“No, but it’s kinda weird that you remember it.” You finally cross your arms in front of your chest. “It’s also kinda weird that you want my attention when that’s what your girlfriend is there for.”

“It’s kinda weird that you keep up with my love life and know I have a girlfriend,” he fires back at you. “I’m breaking up with her, by the way. Just in case you wanted to know.”

You pause the petty war for a second. Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend because you accidentally sent him one (1) risqué pic of yourself? To be fair, you do look pretty hot in that photo. But still! You’ve known the guy your entire life, and all it’s ever amounted to was banter with a hint of feelings on your end. You’d always assumed Yoongi thought of you as nothing more than his little sister’s friend. Surely he’s just toying with you right now. Because that’s what fuckboys do. 

That’s what Min Yoongis do.

“Good to know,” you nod, the cold breeze coming back. You better leave now before you do something stupid again. Stupid AirDrop. “Well, I’m gonna go now. It’s fucking cold.”

You drop his phone into his palm, your fingers grazing his in the process. They’re so warm. But your fluffy blanket is warmer. And it’d never betray you.

“Thanks for only being a slight dick about the pic,” you say, scurrying off to your doorstep.

“Anytime,” he smirks. Asshole. “I’ll AirDrop you later.”

“I don’t want your dick pics, sir.”

You hear his laugh before closing the door.

A minute later, you get an AirDrop of what you hope is not in fact a dick pic. You accept it immediately.

It’s a blurry selfie of him on his bed, flipping you off with an emphasis on how much extra mattress space he has. That has to be the quickest breakup of all time. They don’t call him a fuckboy for nothing. You shouldn't feel this tempted.

He accompanies the pic with one simple text:

Yoongi🗿 [2:03AM] “Your loss”

[periludic]

Can I put in a small request for soft long distance besties Derek headcanons? No pressure ofc!

" DISTANCE "

📌 Pairing: Derek (In between Steps) x GN! Reader (Platonic)

📌 Authors note: you guys sure love Derek (its okay he deserves it) but ofc!! ty for the request i had fun writing this

As a romantic partner, Derek may be on his best behavior to impress you

But as his best friend? The dude is an absolute madman (with manners)

He wouldn't be as conscious around you, he doesn't feel the need to impress you all the time, so just imagine the shenanigans he drags you into

Though Derek is a very busy person still, he's not as afraid to bother you and ask you to hang out with him

"Let's go to Mcdonalds :P" "Derek you live an hour away and its 9 pm what the actual fuck" "I'll pick you up then!"

Or if you're too far away to physically be together, he gets you two to play a multiplayer game!

But of course, he leaves California to pursue his goals elsewhere, and you two just can't find the time to talk to each other because of your timezones

He texts you every hour, from sweet reminders such as "Drink lots of water!! Take care of yourself!!" to really dumb messages "Hehe look at this topless Shrek figurine I found"

You're so done with him (you care about him so much)

Oh! He definitely sends you packages :D

He sends you lil collectables and stuff he knows you like! Or you know, that topless Shrek figurine he found..

You're the first person he calls whenever he achieves something!! Yes yes he knows he should inform his family first but no one matches his vibe more than you do okay.

Whenever he's going somewhere, he sends you a picture. It doesn't matter if he's only going to the grocery store, this is what you get for being his best friend

"*image attached* so yk the last place i went to just in case i get kidnapped" "im praying so hard for you to get kidnapped rn STOP BOTHERING ME"

Asks about your day! Somehow always knows when there's something you aren't telling him. Its a talent of his, one he actually likes

"How are you? Are you feeling okay?" "Yeah dont worry :]" "I can smell your lies from here"

He comes to you for advice, or when he can't pick because of his indecisive ass

"Hey should I get the orange one or the yellow one?" "You look silly either ways" "Rude. The yellow one it is" "No wait I'm sorry get the orange one."

Sometimes. every once in a while, he'll suddenly text you about how much he misses you

You know that whenever he does, it means he's not feeling well

The two of you talk to each other until you pass out still on call on those days

He treasures those days a lot

Not as much as he treasures his best friend though :D

--

📌 again, sorry if my english isnt all that great

[m0th-t33th]

for the character asks... rose >:3

im assuming chairman and AHAHHAH. lets fucking Go.

first impression, to be completely honest i didnt like him. thought he was dumb. classic case of dislike the bad guy

impression now? well. i mean. [gestures to my icon]. i love the guy. hes fucking awesome. what a loser. but also what the Fuck he runs all of galar??? thats fucking insane dude. he has so much power. christ. to be completely honest ithink they fumbled the writing of him.

favourite moment is when yOU BATTLE HIM. HIS BATTLE. OH MY GOOD GOD. his battle theme fucks so hard. i love how like serious and kind of tense it is. oh my god. also this

(and just generally when hes in that fuckass disguise. i hate him hes so cringe)

idea for a story. how about. actually seeing him be a fucked up corrupt guy who literally has power over the entire fucking region. he owns EVERYTHING in galar except for like... tiny small businesses. and thats just normal?? can we get more on that please. also why did his company steal research notes & make a type:null. what was that for.

unpopular opinion: HES A REALLY GOOD CHARACTER AND NOT FUCKING GROSS AND WEIRD??? HES NOT AS BAD AS EVERYONE SAYS????? HES LITERALLY NORMAL. FUCK. STOP PAINTING HIM AS IF HES THE WORST PKMN VILLAIN EVER HES LITERALLY NOT. HES LITERALLY JUST SOME GUY HES LIKE PROBLY ON THE SAME LEVEL AS TEAM ROCKET. good fucking lord. no one understands him like i do. [is forced to go to the other points]

favourite relationship? him and oleana oh my good god i love him and oleana. they are best friends to me but shes like fucking Tired of him. i adore them forever and ever.

favourite headcanon. well. him and oleana being best friends forever and ever is a top one. but also i like to think that he totally went through a like. goth/punk phase at one point when he was young. what happened? trauma, probably. now he listens to classical and things of that type. lol. sometimes he'll put on junk he used to listen to tho. ends up having a breakdown whenever he does. no one knows this. except maybe oleana.

UM. YEA. i like him. A Lot. i will defend him until i die

[kudzucataclysm]

🔋🏢🪖💵🧬🗺️😲0️⃣🙅 -> sci-fi asks for s!e gooooo

JESUS CHRIST REN 😭😭😭 i’ll do my best…as i havent written anything in forever so sorry if my answers suck-

🔋What’s the state of energy technology in your WIP? Is solar old news, or still being fought for?

solar is probably being explored but its not much up and running so to speak. energy technology relies primarily on hydropower and fossil fuels and also alien blood 🌞

🏢What’s the state of architectural technology in your WIP? Are there cities floating in the sky, or are houses still made of bricks and steel?

Its the same as it ever was tbh? except in the NEC where some basic building foundations are made of an alien metal that can rebuild itself when it’s destroyed, at least for the first few times. after that it gets a bit unstable and Freaky Shit Happens

ig the NEC is the only sort of case in the world where a city is BUILT like a mountain of sorts?? i imagine everywhere else on earth fuckin. rolls their eyes at the sheer stupidity and weirdness wnv the city appears in the news (all the time) cuz like wtf. that CANNOT be structurally sound-

🪖What’s the state of military technology in your WIP? Are armored giant robots fighting wars, or still regular people with guns?

ngl this has me brainstorming…theres def weird shit going on military wise- but it also makes me ask myself if there ARE any “militaries” on earth after mars took over…ig closest thing to a military force is the police then…IM GONNA RESEARCH THIS ACTUALLY IM GETTING IDEAS-

and yeah they carry regular guns and not-regular guns; they also carry anti-chimera technology cuz u cant really apprehend half alien suicide bombers with regular stuff 😭 there is a substance that’s poisonous to chimera and martians tho, the best i can describe it rn is basically their kryptonite? its extremely hard to come by and manufacture tho (as you need the fossilized organs of dead martians and on earth that is basically an impossibility) so what police tend to have is like…factory made, bootleg imitations of it. it doesnt outright kill chimera but its like a bit of an effective tranquilizer of sorts. in the form of bullets, ow

actually i just remembered! ig what can be considered the closest thing to military technology is that One Guy on one of the moons and a sort of “living satellite” who is Another Guy whos orbiting earth constantly. groundbreaking asteroid defense systems those two, i wonder if theyre friends. the Moon Guy is sipping on pina coladas as we speak and trying to watch the elections on a shitty barely functioning RCA tv

💵Is currency different in your WIP? Is it all digital, or does physical money still play a role?

physical money is still a thing in se, its just that the US dollar is the most unstable currency in the world now lol. the NEC has its own currency actually but some businesses also take yuans and us dollars. it just depends on whoever 🎣

i’ll have to think more on this tho. i dont think atm machines and debit cards exist hmm 🤔

🧬How different are the aliens, biologically, from humans in your WIP? Are they bonding over shared mammalian traits or unable to comprehend each other?

there is next to no bonding over shared biological traits between martians and humans lol. they KIND of have a shared ancestor/creator of sorts but in different ways ⛹🏽 humans are meat, and martians are not…? some scientists on earth theorize that theyre actually a type of fungus, others even say theyre “rocks” of some kind.

i will ig say that martians (not as a whole) can find the inner workings of the human body absolutely fascinating if they have the time/intelligence to care or learn abt it! its so complex, something that theyre (in comparison) very much not and i have a couple of martian bg characters who dedicate their whole existences to studying the human body. humans meanwhile find martian biology very ANNOYING and DUMB and “HOW DO THESE THINGS EVEN EXIST” kind of thing. humans biologists and physicists i suppose have been forced to question EVERYTHING abt EXISTENCE becuz of martians and its a field of study that people on earth r sort of desperate for but like. u have to understand people have driven themselves genuinely insane and to suicide trying to figure out wtf exactly martians are lol

🗺️Do the aliens have settlements on other planets? How many?

nah, just earth. martians dont really…have an understanding of how their spaceships work, i’ll just say that *side-eyes*. they also cant detect other lifeforms in or around the solar system (that they can see at least) and earth is basically their neighbor so. yay!!! why bother trying to find anything else or go anywhere else

😲Are there any human customs that the aliens find strange, offensive, gross, or confusing? Which ones?

martians r pretty straightforward in their thinking, the way humans process and experience emotions is extremely confusing to them. they basically have EXTREMELY SIMPLISTIC TUNNEL VISION when it comes to a lot of things…also the practice of burying our dead they find wasteful at worst, kind of disrespectful at best.

0️⃣Has the human population been devastated to almost nothing? What happened?

earth had a global nuclear/antimatter war, then got hit by asteroids(?), the asteroids knocked earth’s magnetic field out of whack, the ring of fire exploded which made the yellowstone supervolcano explode, which caused a massive global cooling event and its in a new ice age now

during all this is like a very shadowy, very secret (accidental) alien invasion going on and wildlife is dying off from this and famines and the outbreak of psionics and superpowers and a whole bunch of other bullshit tbh-

ANYWAY YEAH global human population is LowTM but its being Managed. martians r trying to get the population back up and running yippeee thx guyz 🏌🏽‍♂️ what would we do without them

🙅Were there people completely untouched by the apocalypse? How?

uuuuuuuhhhhhmmmmm *looks up at the previous answer and scratches chin* man i dunno lol 🌞

[musubiki]

do you have any lore about the crow witch's guild? i'd love to learn more about them please! i'm especially curious about augury because he left his sister to join the coattails.

YEAH!!!!!!! THE SECOND BEST GUILD IN THE WHOLE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the crow guild backstory goes like this:

a sweet family consisting of three siblings: augurie (the oldest), murda (the middle child) and corven (the baby). for reasons unknown, their parents are no longer with them and so its just been the three of them together for quite some time, and they are very close. This guild follows the close family trope where your siblings are essentially your best friends and theres no one closer to you than them (think dipper/mabel)

Notes about the blackbird family: all of them are insanely smart (stemming from how crows are very smart animals). sometimes way too smart for their own good, and fighting them is always the kind of battle where its supper hard, not because theyre particular strong but because they have ridiculous amounts of strategy on the fly (in this case, murda is ALSO very strong)

They are one of the only guilds in the story where the guild master is not actually the witch (ie, shes not the "leader"). murda trusts auguries judgement more than her own, so she delegated the role of guild master to him

something to note before continuing is that in tcwg, theres a witch stereotype of "not having a son before a daughter". im not sure if this is something magic can influence exactly, but having a son first is always a worry because more often than anyone would like, the firstborn goes down the route of "it fucking sucks that just because i was born a male, i cant inherit this amazing power and have to watch it go to my stupid baby sister" (since males cant be witches anymore), and ends up doing something dumb like joining the coattails

anyway, this is (seemingly) exactly what happens here. at some unknown point in time after murda is already a witch, the rumors have it that her and her older brother had a falling out, and he has since joined the coattails.

another sidenote: the coattails now, in nature, are not something you can easily just...sign up for. most of them are unthinking and serve a single purpose of farming witches magic-- some have evolved enough to become sentient, and in some cases if you serve a similar cause as determined by the sentient ones, you can have the opportunity to corroborate with them (so far only notably achieved by amanita and augurie)

so after augurie leaves, he convinces the coattails he is an asset and that the purpose of the witch king appeals to him as it entails that males will once again be able to hold magic and he can kill his sister to get it. they buy this and he becomes an admin, ie he can lead legions and access resources they have

Corven stays with murda as her only guild member and they live in Ardovs Quarry (urban rainy town in the north of the kingdom), and are currently trying to get their brother back

When mochi and lime pop into this main quest, this is essentially how it goes:

corven met mochi and lime once before for an unrelated side quest, and considers them to be friends (even though they only met once but this is the tcwg style)

murda is reluctant to ask them for help, claims this is a family matter and its none of their business, and getting involved will cause nothing but trouble (true). but theyve exhausted all other avenues at that point, so with a little persuasion from corven, she agrees to let mochi and lime help

theres numerous steps to tracking down augurie, and every time they get a lead and encounter him he seems to be doing something that inches him towards some overarching goal (the in-betweens of the main quest are still up in the air, but its essentially bonding time for the two guilds)

the final confrontation is when they finally track him down to the "root" of the coattails located in the ruins of the old kingdom of the first witch king.

NOW--interrupting to talk a little about auguries magic guild item: its a scythe that reaps magic. theres little potion bottles on the end which can hold up to three different kinds of magic power that can be used independently for a short time after theyve been activated. so far in his scythe he has taken (throughout his time in the coattails) the following magic power: the magic of the snake witch, toad witch, and spider witch. the crow and cat are there with him, so all those together, they have the magic force equivalent to the witch king (for a short time, anyway)

at this point its revealed that auguries plot goes like this: the witch king brought the coattails to life with his magic, so the only way to properly control them or, as augurie corrects, to end them, is with the equivalent power.

augurie joined the coattails in order to get close to them, track down the root (which has been hidden for centuries), gather the main witches magic without putting them in danger directly, take it to the root and reverse the coattails origins spell as best he can. god knows where he even learned this was all possible, but thats the genius of the crow guild

im unsure if murda was in on this plot from the beginning, and pretended to have a falling out with him to enact the whole thing INCLUDING bringing mochi there for the cats power, or if she was oblivious to his intentions and he was acting alone and actually genuinely broke her heart to make the story more convincing

anyway, they actually are able to reverse the coattails origin spell!!! (lime and corven almost fucking die for real fending off an army of coattails while augurie/murda/mochi reverse the spell). the way it actually turned out is that any coattails still in the overworld still had their old "mission," but if they are purged and returned to the root, then augurie has full control to give them a new mission (which will eventually serve as the witches army against the witch king), so after the completion of this quest, the coattails are much less of a threat

afterwards, augurie returns to murdas guild and continues to look into the return of the witch king. he serves as the strategist/healer for the group and is like that main quest guy you go back and report to when youve made progress advancing the storyline that goes "Ah... so all these things happened when you went to [place] huh... no time to rest, heres the next step-"

[its-surprising]

so recently i finished reading the terror (which was… something), and as i went to sleep that same day a fragment from one of the early chapters of the book came back to me (not in a dream fortunately, though that shit do be haunting me). as i was reading the book, i didn’t focus on small bits that i would usually stop on and research, as i really just wanted to reach the ending of this brick of a book, but something that caught my eye was a chapter of franklin’s talking about the search parties sent out to look for leads. i remember vividly that i read a fragment clearly stating that lt edward little before joining the franklin expedition actually sailed with crozier before (and james clark ross), and i remember that so vividly because i went and screamed about it to my friend, because…. THATS INSANE??? and for some reason i just left it at that and read the rest of the book, mostly thinking that i hallucinated that fragment entirely, or remembered it wrong actually. well i have came back now to the early chapters and found said fragment, and no. i was not wrong. the fragment (in chapter 9 franklin, page 139, of the 2018 edition of the book by transworld publishers) clearly reads “little, an old arctic hand, sir john understood, a man who had gone south with crozier and james ross eight years earlier“. since i am not a native english speaker i looked up a polish translation of the book, thinking that maybe my brain wasn’t braining properly, but turns out no, i'm not that dumb. but i digrees. i think if you type that fragment into google, word for word, in quotes there should pop up a version of probably illegal pdf version of the book. and i think i went a little insane with this, because a) my read of edward in both the book and the show was of a man who clearly never before was put in those kind of conditions, possibly tried his best, though failed miserably (there is a scene in the book also, where at the “go for broke” meeting he proposes going out into land and getting wood. as to be expected, the men in the room literally laugh at him. so he doesn’t seem to be experienced with the polar climates at all, as seem to be most of officers on the ships), b) i have done little research (pun intended) and checked up two things. first, the 1839 ross expedition’s list of officers that i managed to find. there is no little, and the only edward (also a lt) there is one with surname bird.

we know from ed’s little biographical dictionary that he became lieutenant in 1837, and unless he didn’t serve as an officer on the ross expedition, there is no mention of him anywhere that i could find.

from this tiny biography of edward’s voyages we also know that little’s closest ever ship to either arctic or antarctic was in 1842 to south america. which is not very close. attentive readers may have also noticed that when the ross expedition set out in 1839, edward little was busy on the board of britannia.

(also while doing this cool little research i have found out that edward possibly met franklin before joining the expedition, and according to lady franklin letters, her husband held little in high regards, which i found interesting)

so now i just really want to know, did dan simmons just straight up decided to make stuff up for fun or…... cuz if so, then he really do be writing fanfictions out there (or maybe someone is more informed then me, just a random person on the internet, in that case PLEASE HELP ME)

but i guess now in the terror universe edward little has served under crozier before (also with thomas jopson, who historically served under crozier), which is something for me to think about when i want to make myself really sad in the middle of the night. or maybe it’s just supposed to show how franklin has no idea who these people who serve under him are, that man is wasaay to old to be out there in the cold you know what im saying

[sebscore]

ahhh thank you for asking! i’ve been travelling around europe and busying myself with projects and whatnot. june was pretty hectic so i couldn’t be on tumblr as active as i wanted to unfortunately 😭 but i missed talking to you!

i did read (and reread gentle hit), both chapters were amazing and i was so immersed in the story! i’ve typed/updated my thoughts on the first chapter below!

chapter one:

- ‘she plastered a fake smile on her face, something sebastian noticed in an instant’ his immaculate people (or in this case, y/n) reading skills, i’m in love. though it’s not hard for me to adore seb vettel lmao

- love the way you wrote lewis and y/n’s easy chemistry! i really like how you expressed their love for each other in their small gestures, whether it’s simply smiling at the other or just laughing. they’re an adorable couple, and the conflict between wanting her to stay in her blissful power couple with lewis or end up with a pining seb is perfectly set up. genius.

- just reading how angst and jealousy hit poor seb in the gut feels so visceral even though lewis and y/n’s interactions are seemingly minor, but this is magnified when you elaborated on their past. this, along with seb’s choice pushing them further from what each other would have wanted was painful (but in the best way). the fact they could’ve had everything but got lost along the way… man.

- platonic sewis! always a sucker for how supportive the both of them are for each other, even though they’re going through different challenges of their own here. to paraphrase ada limon, i love how men love.

- her finding mark webber instead of seb, interacting playfully with mark AND calling seb a hazard to his face. if i were seb i would be eating my hat.

- him playing dumb and just looking after y/n so longingly… oh seb.

- seb actually listening to what y/n said, rejecting lewis’ offer to drink & texting her to apologise… these last few paragraphs were an absolute rollercoaster of emotion, but i think it’s a great summary of the complicated relationship and past between seb and y/n. two kindred souls with vastly different emotions about their past and current scars, trying to work out a future with or without the other. the conflicting ways in which they try to move on just makes my heart ache. and it’s only the first chapter.

- ‘… but the four time world champion always appeared to always find a way back to her.’ OH. what a punch in the gut.

to summarise, i think the revamp of the series is a great step forward! compared to the previous iteration, i think your voice, writing style and characterisation (amongst others) have grown vastly, and it just shows how much you’ve developed as a writer <3 loved this first part and can’t wait for the rest!

(my thoughts for chapter two will come in a new ask soon)

- seb anon 💙

i hope you have been enjoying your travel around europe? would love to know which countries you have visited! and i missed talking to you a lot too! X

and can i just say how you are like the dream reader to have? like this kind of feedback and commentary is the best thing ever and this genuinely made me feel better about my writing :)) youve written everything out so perfectly and you pay attention to the small details, and i cant tell you how much i appreciate that !! <3

the ''easy chemistry'' is the best way to describe the dynamics between lewis and yn! cause their relationship is ''easy'' but in a very positive way! and you are completely right about the conflict she experiences!

EXACTLY! and you worded it so perfectly omg! seb knows everything ended the way it was supposed to, but he cant help himself to get jealous of ''what could have been them'' when he looks at lewis and yn.

the friendship of seb and lewis is also an important part of the series so im SO happy to hear you say that! it will become a big point in the later chapters!

her and mark's friendship is just comedic relief :))) and the ''hazard'' line is one of my fav things!!

your last three points are just spot on! and the way you have the entire thing worked out already from the first chapter is- wow, as a writer this is like the biggest compliment ever :) again, i cant stress enough how much i appreciate and adore your attention to detail! i like adding little gestures and actions, cause often those say more than the characters' words <3

i cant wait to see what you thought of the second chapter! and im glad to hear you think ive developed as a writer, cause thats one of the most important things about this revamp!

have the most amazing day, darling anon!! x

[hexagonalhavoc]

Sapphic Surprise

Carla Dosa x Fem Reader 

[Author’s Note: This has been floating around in my head since yesterday and it’s too funny not to do. Also I’m fleshing out Lionel’s character because I think he’s a little neat and could have definitely had a redemption arc if he lived]

     Secrets of Legendaria was supposed to be their biggest hit, a game that would be remembered for centuries. The pressure was on and everyone was overworked and tired. 

Usually Lionel and Carla were good at keeping their arguments behind closed doors but this was different. It’s hard to keep your anger to yourself when the only thing keeping you sane is root beer and energy drinks. They were meaner than usual, going for each other’s throats without mercy. Everyone in the building kept silent, pretending to be busy as they listened in. 

“That design is completely impractical! How the hell is she supposed to fight in that!?”

“Oh come on it’s a fantasy game! The clothing isn’t supposed to make sense! You’re always nagging me, I swear this is why you don’t have a boyfriend.” 

This wasn’t the first time Lionel had made a comment like that but usually Carla would bite her tongue and just ignore him. She didn’t like hearing that talk, especially not from someone she once considered a friend but she remained silent for your sake. Unfortunately she had enough of her boss’s snooty remarks and right now she lacked common sense. 

“Im gay and I’m dating your sister, you dumb fuck!” 

Lionel choked on his soda, the contents almost spilling to the floor as he put his hand over his mouth. A few people in the room stopped pretending to be busy as they turned their heads towards the arguing pair. Everyone in the room felt some satisfaction seeing Carla take him down a notch.

Everyone knew who you were. You didn’t have any programming experience but you would occasionally come over to visit your brother or help him with his finances. You were well liked by his employees because you were the complete opposite of him. Unlike Lionel, you knew how to build a good rapport for yourself. You were easy to get along with because you didn’t care about status. You treated yourself like you were just another person, not the boss’s sister. 

He was dumbfounded for a moment, putting his soda cup on some random persons’s desk. “You’re what!?”

“You heard me.” Carla puts down her drink as well and crosses her arms over her chest. It looks like they might fight and plenty of people already have their phones prepared if that ends up being the case. “We’ve been dating ever since middle school and you never noticed. Please don’t tell me that it bothers you that much.” The smug smile on her face showed that she was savoring this victory. Initially you both agreed to keep your relationship a secret because you weren’t sure how your parents would react but now you were on your own and didn’t rely on them for anything. Now seemed like the best time.

Lionel is seething, it’s getting harder for him to keep his cool. Especially after everything Carla had said. “It doesn’t bother me that my sister is gay, it bothers me that her standards are so low!” 

He could understand why you wouldn’t tell your parents, both of you were raised in a very strict environment but he felt a little hurt that you never opened up to him about it. Unfortunately he’s been very influence by his parent’s views but your his sister and he would rather take your side than the parents you guys shared. If they couldn’t accept you as their daughter then he wouldn’t accept them as his parents, easy as that. 

Lionel turns to look at all the people staring at them as if silently waiting for them continue grilling each other. “And what are you guys staring at!? Get back to work!” 

————-

Getting a call from your brother this early on in the day was unusual. He was at work right now, surely he should be working on games or participating in important business meetings. 

Regardless of the sudden call you accept it and put your phone on speaker. 

“Hello?” 

“How are you doing?” 

You don’t need to see his face to know that he’s mad at you although you aren’t sure why. It was normal for you two to get into the occasional argument but you don’t think you’ve done anything to piss him off. 

You stop what you’re doing to pick up the phone and start pacing around Carla’s apartment. You’ve stayed so many nights there that you’re starting to forget the layout of your own house. “I’m doing good.” You say with a hint of nervous confusion. You’re a little worried about your brother’s sudden hostile tone towards you. 

“And how’s Carla doing?” He asks with that same interrogating tone of voice. You feel like you’re being put on trial. Your stomach drops and you feel that sliver of anxiety crawl down your spine. 

“Why would I know how your employee is doing? Is this a trick question?” You retort, playing dumb as you slip on one of her hoodies that’s lying around. 

“Well I think you know her better than I do considering the fact you’re at her apartment right now!” He raises his voice and you lean away from the loud sound coming from the phone. “If you’re going to try to be sneaky at least turn off your gps.” He lets out an exasperated sigh as he leans back in his chair. 

You put a hand on your forehead, already feeling a headache coming on. You were scared of something like this happening. You never told him because you didn’t want to have to choose between your brother or your girlfriend. You didn’t want to have to make a choice, you wanted them both to be in your life. And that includes Lionel, even if he was sort of a pain. 

“Are you mad?” You anxiously pace around the apartment. You knew you would have to tell him eventually as Carla was the one you planned to spend the rest of your life with but you didn’t want it to be like this. 

There’s only silence on both ends as if he’s actually taking your question into account. “No, I’m not. I just-Why didn’t you tell me? I’m not thrilled about the fact that you’re dating Carla of all people but I’m not going to hate you for it.” 

This was a rare moment where Lionel was actually having a heart to heart conversation with someone. There’s no shouting coming from him. Even if he is insensitive and a little ignorant you can tell that he cares and a part of you feels bad that you haven’t told him sooner. Your brother confided in you about almost everything but you kept so many secrets from him. 

“I just wasn’t sure how you would react.” You fumble with the drawstrings of Carla’s hoodie. It’s all you could muster as you stopped pacing and just stood there. Lionel can’t really blame you for feeling that way as he isn’t really sure how to react with the sudden news either.

“I want to talk about this in person, come see me tomorrow.” It’s very sudden and it’s oddly mature of him but it’s better than him throwing insults and accusations. He actually seems like he wasn’t to talk to you about this in a collected way. “I’ll see you then, I guess.” 

He hangs up and you stand in silence for a moment as you process that conversation you just had with him. 

This seems like it can be a turning point for Lionel. 

[gutsfics]

Tobias should have been a canon LI. Where is the Open Heart Book 3 rewrite that the we need? If someone ever kickstarts this project ILW style, I will be the first to donate. I was rereading the series. I got to Book 3 and I had to stop. The characters deserved better. The series deserved so much better. The Open Heart fandom deserved better. There was so much more that PB could have done with the characters if they cared about the player experience. OH was one of Pixelberry's best series and they let it die in the most disappointing way possible. Anyone who is willing to give the story a better ending deserves the Choices fandom's support. It's been ages since we have had a real romance arc on this app.

im fine w Tobias not being a canon LI as i personally headcanon him as aromantic & have him in a queerplatonic relationship w my LOA mc, Reigan, but like other than that HUGE agree

and now i'm gonna use this ask as a reason to talk about what all i would change of book 3 lmao thank u <3

so first of all, there's really no reason for Harper to be part of the diagnostics team besides "whoah oh noeses Ethan is talking with his ex whoopsie oopsie i hope he doesn't fall back in love with her!!!!!1!!111!!!" (which goes nowhere, iirc MC doesn't ever talk really to him about their jealousy) and a few nice friendship moments between her and MC when Tobias and Ethan are being dumb at each other (like when you can choose to side w either E or T during an argument OR ask Harper if she wants to get coffee- i genuinely love that part so much). so i would change it so that instead of the opening on the diagnostics team being because Baz is leaving (which also had no reason to happen), but because Ethan took too long to find a replacement for June

imo it would have been more interesting if Bloom had used Ethan taking the whole 3-month closure of Edenbrook to decide on a new team member as an excuse to try and get more hands on with the DT. so like right after Ethan, Baz and MC sit down the first day back he should have just showed up w Tobias & made that new rule about voting on cases. i did like the feud between Bloom and Ethan though, the writers just majorly dropped the ball there. and kept dropping it the whole book.

I'd also remove all of the parts where the MC just straight up ditches work to go play with their friends. it felt so wrong that the MC fought so hard to get to the place where they're at just for them to blow of work every five seconds bc Jackie and Sienna want to go shopping or Bryce wants to drive a fancy car or whatever. or i'd like change it so it happens on days off or after their shift is over.

+ the diamond scene in ch1 where MC and their friends are enjoying all of the amenities that Bloom added for employees, I would have loved the option to be more wary of them, a lot of them seemed like a distraction, like the video games in the breakroom

like imagine ur surgeon being late to ur life-saving surgery bc they were too busy playing mario kart or whatever

i would say there should have been another Big Important Disaster but honestly Rafael has already been through enough with the first two book's Big Disasters being somewhat focused on him

also the fuckin uuuuuuh. patient suing Ethan over medical malpractice plotline?

100% should have been Ethan's fault.

having Naveen actually be the one who did it feels kinda.... racist??? a little bit????? like god forbid PB's Specialest White Boy do something wrong and face the consequences for it

i have more qualms with this book but i am gonna be honest: i straight up do not remember most of the book. it was such a nothing end to such a good series

i did like being able to do that team building exercise w jackie's group. Dr Gary Garison, my beloved, i'm so glad i got to see you for one single scene this whole book

[abla-soso]

usually a big fan of ur takes esp succession so i hope this doesn't come across mean or anything. i will say tom did still track her cycle whether he folded after and told her he still did it and tried. was he successful? im not really sure when tomshiv baby was conceived but i will say i don't think that's something that gets brought up that many times esp when it comes to what hurts shiv just to say it means nothing bc he did tell her after? i also think that happening in the marriage along w the betrayal which did happen before the divorce i guess which i think we've seen know that logan is awful to shiv but he still decided to side with her abuser. i just think just like the stuff tom said to shiv was very valid. the stuff shiv said were also right

You're not being mean at all, no worries! But I didn't deny that he tracked her cycles. I specifically mentioned it to highlight how dumb his "plan" was and how absurd it is to argue that he was doing it secretly to exploit Shiv's body without her knowing. Tom's plan was to have a baby to secure his future position in their business and personal relationship. That plan did not involve tricking his wife to have a baby against her will. The reason he gleefully announced his plane was to convince Shiv to agree. Tom often uses his enthusiasm and eagerness to convince Shiv to do what he needs of her. He dropped his plan as soon as she told him "no kids". He didn’t even try to argue his case for more than a few seconds. That's not how a man would act if he believed he had the power to abuse the reproductive rights of his wife. Was he bitter about it? Of course. But that's all he could do: be silently bitter about it. The silence broke now because he finally had enough power to hurt Shiv back and weaponize his bitterness against her.

As far as the whole Tomshiv fight scene, there is no denying that Tom was way more brutal and cruel. But that's only because he had enough shit against Shiv to hurt her with, and she didn't have much against him. The longer the relationship stays semi equal, the more opportunities Tom will have to hurt Shiv. And best believe she's gonna keep score of every single hurtful word or action. If they ever have a second epic fight; I feel like Shiv will "win" that one.

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok i frickin love my found family lemme just say

first of all we all go to a baptist church and we call ourselves the jesus freaks after that DC Talk song even though we're all 12-19 (except for the Fathers who are some of our dads) and im making us all jesus freak shirts

second of all despite the baptist-ness we sound like a catholic something or other my dad is referred to as 'Father Louis' my "brother" is Brother George my 'sister' is Sister Abigail and there's also Sister Meredith and Sister Grace (me) and Father John (George's real life dad).

and the best part is we act like a family. Abigail and George and I are doubles in the same row in handbells choir and we smack each other and steal phones and all sorts of stuff. My 'nephew' (George's 'son') is a twelve year old little hispanic kid but his two real life brother's are my brothers not his don't ask me why but he and I are writing a play together because he asked me for help with the stage directions and Abigail helped him with his Etsy shop

and I'm the Grand Mother so i basically know/take care of everyone and everything and its literally the reason i live

George and I never talk over text except to send each other dog pictures at three in the morning (both kinds)

SIster Lily and i work at the same restaurant so sometimes they all come in and annoy the heck out of us

Any parent. and i mean ANY parent. (Like real life one). Is referred to as mom or dad. Period. I have fourteen or more moms. I love it.

We have a group bible study that gets heckin chaotic because everyone gets into debates

then there's brother caden who is a little ADHD preacher and also pole dances and he's the most horrible goofy kid ever but he also was the first one of us to lead a kid to christ and he prays like nobody's business

we all are helping each other discover our spiritual gifts (aka what we're best at that God wants us to use to further our group/the church in general's ministry to help people have a little bit better of a life here on earth)

we also protect each other

like david and i were arguing because we couldn't figure out which bells went in which case (we have three sets of eight octaves plus chimes and aluminums, screw it) and he paused for a second to pull me out of the way of a cart that almost ran over my feet and he was like 'you good' and i was like 'yeah' and then we went back to arguing

oh and there's this one kid who's called the Grand Father because he says he's my dad's dad (my dad is 60, he's fourteen, but math and our family don't go well together so whatever) and he kind of just. hovers. on our family tree.

also we're gosh darn near emotionally connected. like we did a feet washing ceremony (don't ask, we're teenagers with too much time on our hands) and some of us were super nervous about showing our dogs but we prayed for God to use our dumbness and then Caden started crying at the end of it and lily and i went to pray for him and then we started crying and before you knew it we were all sobbing and we were singing and praying for our nation and our friends and i've never felt more free than i did sitting on the dusty tile floor of that random church basement out in Appalachia with my family and God. Juju (the protector of the family, seriously she will kill anyone who lays a hand on us) said it felt like 'something big and hot and awesome was bursting out of my chest and making everyone's lives brighter'. That's the closest thing to poetry i've ever heard come out of her lips.

there's alexis too she and i almost dated (long story) but when I told her i wanted to follow the traditional view of the bible she said it was okay and she supported me and now she's best friends with my entire irl family

oh and there's katie she's the weird adopted neighbor lol she loves knives and debating with people about the existence of the Bible

back to the spritual gifts thing, Lily and I were the first to understand ours. Mine is... hmm, the best way to describe it, I guess, is empathy. it's an ability to read people, to discern? maybe? to see through their reactions into their soul and what they really need, and the most loving way to give it to them. Lily's is basically spiritual sight-- she's seen demons since she was little. she told me she saw something dark in me the day after i started cutting, and she told me she could tell the difference when i stopped. no one else except for alexis and juju knew. now i've told my story more, but not much yet. I think the day we realized this weird crap was real was the day a guy walked into the amish market. normal as ever, he'd come in there before, but I literally cringed when he came up to make his order. there was someting off about him, something dangerous. I turned to Lily and told her when he was way out of earshot and she was already giving me the exact same look. she said there was darkness in him. we prayed for him for almost an hour, off and on while we did our work. when he left we breathed a sigh of relief. turns out he'd robbed a nearby place earlier in the day and was armed he was picked up.

there was another time one of my friends from another church got stuck when that plane thing crashed into the main power lines and all the street lights and stuff went out? they were all stuck at their church and one of the new attendees pulled out a gun. he texted us. i texted the group. we started praying. the guy never shot anyone, and the police said he handed his weapon over without a fight.

we also crave discomfort. it's a brave thing, learning to be comfortable in discomfort. i've never met any other group, christian or not, who jumps at the chance to help a group of heroin addicts get cleaned up for job interviews, or volunteers to clean out an entire warehouse full of dust and inhalants and possibly mold or lice or bed bugs or who knew what else as we worked. but we did it. we cheered. we sang. we laughed. we connected with people. and when we came home it didn't stop. every time we meet we do something. we pray for change. we go out and hand out soda and ask people if there's anything we can pray for. we've made friends with every family within ten miles of our church. we regularly bring food and candy to people. we're hosting a trunk or treat and i was asked to do the Chops Fam (get it, knives) trunk. i can't fathom how to represent us well. maybe that's why my brain needed to shove all this out.

we also renovate houses. for fun. did i mention that? the only thing more satisfying than ripping into walls with three of your best friends beside you is the looks on people's faces when they see how much we've done and how much we care and how it's all free because we'll take the load for you this once because 'if we have the power to give even one person a little bit of relief, how can we not give it?'

oh, and one time a crazy guy came to our church. we gave him a doughnut and a coupon to the local bakery before we called the authorities (and then prayed until they got there).

then a bunch of teens came in and smoked marijuanna in our barn (yes, youth group happens in a renovated barn. we fixed it up ourselves. it's freaking awesome.) We set out snacks for them and put up signs to let them know when the doors would be unlocked and the wifi password, so they could stay-- as long as they didn't smoke inside or break anything. they haven't come for service or youth yet, but they come just before. sometimes we see them leave. we wave, they wave back. maybe someday they'll want to meet us.

i've never felt more alive than when eight of us are all crammed on one couch, calling out answers and debating things and stuffing our faces with food, or when you're at the end of a street and you look back and see all the groups spread out like a tree, handing out candy and praying and laying hands on people and giving people hugs. my dad finally reconciled his past of drug abuse when he met the addicts we were loving. he wrote music with one of them. one of them gave him an extra Bible, just about the only thing they owned, and later that day George gave it to a kid who followed us to ask Caden why we were so nice.

I remember us all crying on the floor of that basement. I remember crying at worship, leading my family up to the front, locking arms at the shoulders like we were going to war, screaming the words at the tops of our lungs. i remember holding a girl for hours while she cried and sobbed and begged God to forgive her. I remember someone sobbing as they were freed from the depression that had held them captive for so long. I remember the senior, if not his name, who walked up to me during worship and told me God had a message for me-- that I was waiting on something important, something school related, and I was stressed, but God's answer was no and it was for the best. Two days later I was rejected from the early college program. This year i have the time to support three of my friends who are going through the most stressful time of their lives, and my dad, who just lost a friend. and even when that happened, all of his 'kids' gathered around and prayed for him. we send him messages every day reminding him that there is hope. that he will be okay. that he will see his friend again. we're still hoping that friend will get off his deathbed, but if he doesn't, we're still here. we're still fighting. God's will be done. We never pray for anything else.

i remember standing around that friend's parents and praying, not for their son to survive, although that too, but for them to have strength. peace. their tears were dried. they smiled for the first time in weeks.

i remember screaming. laughing. crying.

i remember feeling nothing at all, and i wonder

how could i not be so endlessly greatful?

in short, i love my family, and i refuse to outgrow them. call it a cult if you must, but they are my life, my hope for the future, my pride, and my joy. we keep each other accountable. we lift each other up. We encourage each other We fight for each other. We see the crap the world pulls, and we say fuck that. We choose to love. We choose to spread light. We choose to love. We choose to pray in public places, and sing on the streets. We choose to do all we can for our neighbors, the people God tells us to serve the most. We are the servants. We are the rebels. We are the change.

That's not to say we don't have a lot of fun, either. We dance and laugh and try on each other's lip gloss and have karaoke at one in the morning and that one time we all caught the same flu bug at church camp we still beat the other churches' asses and then collapsed on the floor of the common room in bags and told each other stories. We sneak out and sit on roofs and look at the stars. We watch the meteors and talk about life. We have an entire row of the tree (my grandchildren) that are stuffed animals, each with their own names and personalities and birthdays which are heavily celebrated. we make the birthday kid feel as awkward as humanly possible. we wrestle. we go to bell festival once a year and chug energy drinks and try to sing our parts on the bells until the adults threaten to turn around and go home. we built a gaga ball pit-- leveled the ground, built the pit, churned out the gravel, tamped it, decorated it, all by ourselves. church work days are a fricking BLAST.

i love my family. i love my home. i love the life that i live. and i wouldn't change it for the world.

because when you have all this, who cares what some random strangers on the internet say?

[audible--silence]

Heard abroad…

Whatever the question, the market is the answer

“Too many white people not enough markets”

“I mean i still didn’t understand any of it but i understood it was nice”

Pedophile and a dead aunt. You love to see it!

I exist to do the dumb thing and subsequently encourage everyone else to also do the dumb thing

“At least it isn’t Kevin”

“Home is the place where you keep ending up and you don’t really know why”

“Home is where you keep going back to your abuser”

Death is good business but without the repeat customers

As long as you have enough to buy linch on your first day, you have enough to figure it out

“Fucking cyrus man…” on cocktails and cacao ceremonies

It feels like im looking at the relic of a golden age that doesn’t know its past its best before date

Lots of people breeds competition in both capitalism and creativity. Capitalism also breeds racism.

Nobody gives one fuck about you here which is both amazing and kinda isolating

Its like if every city ive ever been to merged into one and did a bunch of drugs

I have fewer ideas but i have a lot of resolution so when i want one to work i just throw everything at it till it does

luck favors those who need it/rely on it in good faith

I was busy being sad and shit so I wasn’t in the mood for a heart attack

How lucky we are, to know that as long as we have charge on our phone or an internet connection, we’ll never go without

Going nowhere the long way

“Fuck you”

“What?”

“I was talking to the aircon”

Calories dont work on Mondays

Chicken is made by man, duck is made by god

Thats why i pay the rent

The only case there is is a quesadilla

It’s strangely captivating.

A city of nine million perfect strangers and nine million deranged fucking maniacs.

Everyone fits in. Because theres no such thing as “too different” out here.

Milk that mfer for every lil drop of lactation in it’s scary asymmetrical titty

Everybody be skipping to the calm down phase of life without ever experiencing the youthful fuckaround stage

The lifeline on my hand seems to doing fine.

The other two, I cant quite remember what they’re supposed to mean. Something about happiness or love.

They’re looking a little worse for wear lately.

“Look Ill extend him an olive branch but only so i can whack him over the head with it”

“After all, the universe continues to surprise, bewilder, and enchant, irrespective of our inquiries. As the tale concludes, may it inspire a subtle nod toward the dance of untamed contemplations—a dance best performed with an enigmatic grin.”

Thinking is for Jerry's (2023) - Professor Longwang

I feel glad to have an end date but miserable to end it

Scared of old reality but excited to confirm or deny it

Confused about my choices here and whether my feelings were made from genuine feelings

“How was the quality of your call?” Asks the messenger app.

To which I cannot reply.

Because to reply honestly would not do justice to the quality of the app, and instead be a comment on my experience of it.

The feeling in my gut when she said she met someone.

The thoughts back to all the times where I wanted to tell you i was yours.

All at once.

With a vengeance

Stabbing in the chest

What am i doing here

Accidentally drunk off a Manhattan i didnt want and a quarter pint of Guinness

In New York

In the rain

Trying desperately to find a job

In a field im hardly good at

It seems to me that it boils down.

When you look at the root of it all

What do you want

What do i want

How you utilize the two to make a life that brings you joy

Kill me, im french

Traveling is honestly comparable to hard drugs at this point: intense, euphoric, lands you in sketchy circumstances and often leads to living in very questionable scenarios. It also has a tendency to leave you broke as fuck and wondering where the last six months went

It do be a lil comedic,

A city of 12 million mother fuckers buzzing around packed in like a hive, and I’ve hardly made a friend.