#benefit of the doubt

[socialbutterfly19]

What I do every damn night….. analyze every thing My mind never stops

[naneun-no]

https://youtu.be/g38D6HVzn8w

At 1.13

I mean isn't it so weird and strange that Rm asked both of them that?? Why would he ask something like that if jikook were actually a couple?? Doesn't rm know that they were dating or maybe jikook actually not together that is why rm asked them that like in a teasing way which normally friends do when you saw ur other friends wear something matching. This moment always makes me confused.

I might be the wrong person to ask cause I’m of the opinion that if they’re dating they probably didn’t actually make anything official or formally tell other members until much more recently than a lot of other jikookers think. I personally think they probably wavered in the not-quite-just-friends-but-not-quite-dating space for quite a while, years in fact, and I think it’s where a lot of the awkwardness/palpable tension and nervousness in some of their early interactions stemmed from.

And Namjoon’s question still remains — why did they do that stuff? The matchy-matchy couple-y stuff? Cause they didn’t exactly say “no” did they 😅

Not to mention the same thing happened when Jin blurted “are you two together” during the palm pushing game here:

And him asking that does nothing to take away from the flirtatiousness of that entire interaction, so. If anything it just highlights how sus their behavior is.

I might have mentioned this before but I don’t go around looking for single moments to “debunk” the theory that Jimin and Jung Kook have something romantic going on. I’m not that insecure, at least not anymore haha. To me it’s obvious, from their behavior and treatment of each other when you look at them as a whole and not through some skeptical, conspiracy-theorist lens. Think what you want but any attempts to get me to go “omg you’re right it must all be a sham and I imagined everything” are gonna fall flat every time. It is what it is, friend 🫤

I’m a small fish though so maybe try someone else — you might get lucky and convert a much bigger blogger than me. Do you become a Level 5 Laser Lotus if you do that?

[bisquid]

... I've had a new thought

Maybe, just maybe, @staff thought the idea for a forced algorithm was a dumbshit idea just like the rest of us, but, orders from on high, watcha gonna do?

Well you could make a post about how you're gonna do it, generating such a shitstorm that Tumblr Management is forced to concede it's the worst fucking idea.

[loveandknowledge]

Find Common Ground

One gets the sense that Seneca, like many smart and active people, was often frustrated by other people. It is inevitable that someone like him—someone creating art, actively participating in government, managing properties, etc—would have regularly found his interest and his will thwarted. Perhaps a neighbor opposed some changes he was making to his land. Or an intriguing enemy at the palace sought to undermine him with the emperor. Maybe his brother jostled for an inheritance. Maybe he bumped into a rude person in the street.

These are timeless and common occurrences. And, quite naturally, they are prone to make us angry—especially if we impute the least charitable motivations on the other party. My neighbor is trying to screw me over. So and so wants my job. My brother is up to his old tricks. This guy is a selfish jerk.

When we think this way, we get angry. It’s hard not to. Which is why Seneca—from experience—said that we have to resist. Instead, we should try to go through life like a lawyer…or rather like a public defender. We must, he said, “plead the case of the absent defendant despite our own interests.” That is, really take the time to think about what is motivating other people. Take the time to act as if we are trying to help them escape punishment from the judge and jury that is the emotional and vindictive part of our mind (Oh, he really just wants what’s best for everyone. My brother doesn’t know better. This guy didn’t mean to bump into me—he’s just having a hard day). Don’t just fight to see the worst, fight to see their side.

When we do this, when we give people the benefit of the doubt—the presumption of innocence instead of the presumption of guilt and ill-motives—everything relaxes. We can forgive. We can find common ground. We can focus on what is actually important…our own behavior.

- The Daily Stoic

[momentsbeforemass]

Overflowing

(for all the “good people” who struggle with this, including me)

We’re good people, right?

I mean, you and I don’t hurt people. That’s not us.

And if we do something or say something that someone thinks is hurtful, they probably just misunderstood us.

Really, it’s their problem. They’re assuming the worst. But they’re wrong. Because that’s just not who we are.

We’re good people. We know it. That’s why we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt.

And that’s how you and I want to be treated. We want people to assume the best about us. We want to be given the benefit of the doubt.

So how do we do that? We’ve got two options. There’s the easy one, just assuming that everybody knows that we’re good people.

And we can treat them however we want to, say whatever we want. Assume the worst about them. But they’ll keep giving us the benefit of the doubt, right?

Because we’re good people. Too bad that one doesn’t work.

Or there’s the other option. It’s the formula we see in today’s Gospel.

“Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap.”

What do you and I really want? How do we want to be treated?

If we want others to give us the benefit of the doubt, then we need to start giving others the benefit of the doubt.

If we want others to know we’re good people, then we need to start being good to people.

And not just a little, or every now and then. But as a way of living, and overflowing.

“For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”

It’s a way of life that’s only possible when we’re grounded in God, and not ourselves.

Today’s Readings

[howifeltabouthim]

She knew him to be clever, ambitious, bold,—and she believed even yet, in spite of her own experience, that he might not be bad at heart.

Anthony Trollope, from Can You Forgive Her?

[lina-loves-chocolate]

Shiv learned from the past few Roy weddings and just dressed for a traumatic experience already ❤

[kindnessisstillhere]

A transformation

From passive to active,

Accepting to questioning:

It doesn’t need to be a battle,

And I’m tired of seeing it as one.

I’m moving my view point,

Transferring my attention.

The entire room changes again,

Even while remaining the same.

These simple transformations;

From believed malicious actions

To simple lacking knowledge;

From things abandoned, ignored,

To forgetfulness, or miscommunication.

There are easier ways to view,

Kinder things to assume.

Even if I’m wrong it doesn’t hurt us,

Only gives the chance for patience.

The transformation is small though,

Slowly changing, growing,

Isn’t that wonderful regardless.

[toastshark]

Hi hi! Unsure if you're open to pokemon fusion OCs - if not, no worries! - but if so, wanna doodle anything at all (I'm not picky ^w^) of my goofy lickitung-fox? :P

(ref pic) if interested. Thanks for the chance!

There ya go

(If I had a cent for every time a request was of a Pokémon fusion between a canine Pokémon and a Lickitung I’d have two. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice lol. Guessing it was you last time too, anon?)

[james-the-lass]

This, 100%.

Might be a mistake to admit this, but way back, I had joined a subreddit called r/gendercritical. The points they made (about trans men and women competing in sports against cis men and women, specifically) seemed logical to me at the time as someone who had absolutely zero knowledge of how a trans person’s body can change during a medical transition. At first nobody seemed to be against the individual, just against the idea. Later, I realized the individual and the idea are inextricably linked; you can’t be against one without also being against the other.

It wasn’t long before I noticed the vibes in that community were ten kinds of fucked up. I started hearing the same things being said by certain conservative bloviates. I sought out some actual factual material (again in that specific instance about trans people competing against cis people in sports) and learned that I was completely wrong the whole time and was on the verge of TERFdom.

Fast forward 7 years and not only am I a huge advocate for trans rights, I’ve come out as non-binary and bisexual.

Any time I talk to people about trans rights, I’m careful to use language that doesn’t assume the other person is a horrible bigot, because they could just be misinformed and have no way of knowing, just like I was once upon a time.

I think most people do better when they know better. They just don’t know what they don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That all being said, if they’ve proven themselves unable to receive such information, Nazi Punks Fuck Off.

At the lesbian meetup, met a kind of transphobic woman. Started gearing up to get fighty and then realised... she wasn't an actual terf. She was just older, genuinely didn't know stuff, had heard some terf talking points in passing and had been made kind of anxious by them, but hadn't made it her entire personality. She was open to learning that trans women weren't actually roaming around coercing unwilling cis lesbians into sex, thanked me earnestly for giving her a basic explanation of what "non-binary" meant and truly seemed to be relaxing bit by bit the more she heard. Obviously I'm aware that I can't be sure I've given her a sufficient dose of anti-transphobe vaccine to immunise her permanently against the shit that's out there, but overall it made me hopeful. Most people just aren't dyed-in-the-wool bigots. People can be curious and relieved to hear the fearmongering they've been exposed to is untrue. Telling people this stuff isn't a lost cause.

[oars]

girl are you sure???????????????

[pearlsforthesoul]

BENEFIT of the DOUBT (love coming & going)

Priceless this BOTD dynamic is. Whether you give it or receive it, it goes to work & makes a difference in another’s well-being & worthiness. It has the ability to validate, edify, approve, support & encourage regardless of what side of this you are on. I believe in you is being said when given or received. It is like a blessing & only good can come from it BENEFIT of the DOUBT or BOTD To…

[mekkamimzi]

anger is a defense mechanism it's not bad

[holisticbudo]

Malicious Intent

Don’t assume malicious intent. It’s usually not the case. Most people are trying their best to do their best. They aren’t intentionally trying to hurt you. In fact, it is way more likely that they aren’t even thinking about you at all. They are too busy thinking about themselves and their lives to plot against you. Give people the benefit of the doubt and know that those who intentionally…

[kindnessisstillhere]

Benefit of the Doubt

There are some phrases I love,

More for the flexibility than the words,

And 'benefit of the doubt' is one of them.

Am I accepting someone is right?

Or just accepting that's so much as they know?

Do I just keep my doubts silent,

Seeing where the process will go?

It's always more about trusting,

Not quite the words being said,

Or the plans being made,

But the people doing and saying them

Are doing so to the best of their knowledge.

And if given more information, updated,

Or just more in depth than before,

They'd adjust to suit the situation more.

I give the benefit of the doubt rarely,

Most often to myself and my tired brain,

Believing things will work themselves out,

Or can be solved by an email or two.

Oftentimes that's proven true.

[judahmaccabees]

"to the Church Collectively and not Individually"

~ no respecter of persona is JESUS CHRIST ~

-For Indeed, Tis the Idolatry of the Rote Soul, Prying past Principle's Uncertainty, the egoic Violation -

Take Care in worship of Law or Love, as another idol for selfish pleasure - what is giving when it's easy

Soul liberty is the law, not Mammon; trespass no more