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megalony · 4 years

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Family of six- Part 4

I’ve finally managed to finish the next part of this Murderer! Ben Hardy series so I hope you will all enjoy it, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod

Series taglist: @writeroutoftime

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have a son together and are pregnant again but things take a worrisome turn when (Y/n) develops severe morning sickness and they find out they’re having triplets.

Enjoy.

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"When can we go see mummy?" Billy's voice was quiet and tired but there was curiosity in his words. The five-year-old looked up at Ben with tired eyes that had been staring at the same walls for the past two hours now. Every person that walked past them was a source of interest for Billy because he could think up a story for them and a name like they were characters in a movie he was watching to cure his boredness.

"We'll get to see her soon buddy, she's just with the doctor right now."

Ben rested his chin on top of Billy's head as he tightened his arms around his boy who was perched on his lap leaning back into Ben in a way that showed he was growing tired. For the first half an hour Billy had been silent but content sitting on Ben's lap wrapped up in a comforting hug but then the longer they waited the more uneasy Billy seemed to feel. He wanted to go see (Y/n) and see if she was better and the waiting made him anxious much like it seemed to do to Ben.

To a certain extent Ben didn't mind the waiting, it felt better to wait a long time because it meant that (Y/n) was being treated and checked over. But then again, the longer Ben waited the more it made him suspicious that something had gone wrong for it to be taking this long to get her settled and in a stable condition. Ben didn't want Billy to be here waiting and panicking with him but Ben couldn't take him home in case the doctor came out to talk to him. As soon as the doctor had talked to Ben he would let Billy see her and then take him home.

Ben still had to ring his parents and tell them what was happening, even though they lived almost an hour away he knew that he and (Y/n) would need some help and they were the closest people to help that Ben could think of. (Y/n)'s parents were close by but they weren't on speaking terms with (Y/n) since the moment she got engaged to Ben so he couldn't call them.

This situation was going to go one of two ways, either (Y/n) had suffered a miscarriage and Ben would definitely need his parents around so he could look after (Y/n) and help her cope. Or if they hadn't lost this pregnancy they were going to need a lot more help considering they were only four months along and something like this had happened so early on.

"Is mummy gonna get better?" Billy leaned a bit further into Ben's chest but he wouldn't look up at Ben, a sure sign he was uncomfortable with the topic and was afraid of the answer he was going to receive. He simply looked down at Ben's hand and started slowly drawing patterns on the back of his hand, tracing the pad of his finger over the tattoos on Ben's knuckles. It was fascinating to Billy to look at all of Ben's tattoos but it did sometimes confuse him. Ben had so many different tattoos covering his skin but then Billy would see other people and his friend's parents and wonder why they didn't have half as many as Ben did.

"Course she is, that's why the doctor's looking after her."

"You said when mummy's ill you look after her."

Ben tipped his head back against the wall and rubbed at his eyes for a moment to try and relieve the headache he could feel forming behind his eyes. He didn't like how anxious he could see Billy becoming and he hated that he couldn't do anything about it until he had managed to speak to a doctor.

"Buddy, I'll always look after your mum but when she's sick like this a doctor needs to look after her and give her medicine which I can't do-"

"You give mummy medicine! You give her her tablets, why can't you look after mummy?"

"Baby calm down." Ben hooked his hands under Billy's arms and gently lifted him up so he could turn him around on his lap, wanting his son facing him. He could see the panic building up in Billy's eyes and the desperation creeping in the tone of his voice.

Billy associated hospitals with death and danger and it was somewhere that made him feel unsafe and uncomfortable. When he had a chest infection last year and had to have fluids drained from his lungs it hadn't been a good experience for him considering he had only been four at the time. And he knew Ben had had family go to hospital and never come out again. He didn't want (Y/n) to be here because it seemed like a bad sign to Billy, he didn't quite understand that people went to hospital even when they had only small or minor problems.

Whenever Billy was sick or ill (Y/n) and Ben looked after him and whenever (Y/n) was ill or upset or had any kind of problem, Billy knew Ben always tried to do something to help. He looked after her and calmed her down, Billy wanted Ben to look after (Y/n) and no one else.

"I do give your mum medicine, I sort her tablets out and I look after her, but I don't make those tablets or tell her which ones she needs and maybe she needs some new tablets for now which is why she needs to see the doctor. But when she's better and comes home I'll be the one looking after her I swear. She's gonna be fine baby, you don't have to worry."

Ben rested his chin on Billy's temple and sighed when he felt his boy burrow into his chest like he was trying to curl up and disappear. He hoped his words were enough to calm Billy down because there wasn't much else that Ben could say or do to try and make him feel more at ease and settled right now. He wanted to be able to tell Billy that (Y/n) was going to be perfectly fine and that she could go home soon but he doubted (Y/n) would be going home for a few days at least and he knew she wasn't going to be fine for a few days or even weeks.

But for now he could only tell Billy that (Y/n) was getting the help she needed and it was going to make her better in time.

A few minutes of silence passed between the father and son before Ben looked to the left and instantly recognised the doctor walking towards them as being the one who was now treating (Y/n).

"Buddy, why don't you play a game on my phone for a minute so I can go talk to your mum's doctor?"

Billy looked up at Ben with wide eyes but nodded in agreement all the same, he let Ben pick him up and move him onto the seat next to him before he got his phone out of his pocket. Ben had two phones, one for work and one for personal use which he always let Billy use to play games on. There was no way that Ben could let Billy use his work phone in case he saw something he shouldn't or it rang and Billy tried to answer it. He didn't know what Ben did specifically at the club and Ben wanted to keep it that way.

Getting to his feet, Ben walked a few paces away from the waiting area and over to the doctor who had a warm smile on his face but it didn't make Ben feel any more at ease.

"Mr Hardy?"

"Yeah, is my wife okay?" Ben slipped his hands into his back pockets to stop himself from clenching his hands into fists out of nervousness. He needed to feel like he was in control of every situation or else he didn't know what to do and right now there was nothing about this situation that Ben could control and help with.

"She's awake now. We've put your wife on an IV drip due to how dehydrated she was when you brought her in and she has anti-emetics going straight into her bloodstream so that it actually stays in her system."

With (Y/n) not being able to keep anything down it was the only and easiest option to just have the fluids go straight into her bloodstream along with the medication that will ease her constant sickness feeling. She won't keep throwing up or gagging or generally feeling sick with the anti-emetics and with them going straight into her blood rather than her stomach it meant they could get through her system and work without being thrown up. That was a big relief to Ben to know that (Y/n) could finally have the medication and have it work for once.

"What about the pregnancy?" Ben wasn't stupid, he knew that with the state (Y/n) was in she could have easily miscarried with how dehydrated she was when he found her earlier and if he didn't get to her sooner (Y/n) herself could have become a lot worse off.

"The pregnancy doesn't seem to have been affected. Your wife will be monitored for the next week or two as she is still at risk of miscarrying but with her now having fluids and proteins straight into her system there shouldn't be any problems with the babies."

Ben nodded before he tipped his head down to look at the floor, needing a moment to gather himself and his thoughts. It had crossed his mind more than once about what he would do or say if they lost this pregnancy. Triplets wasn't what they had been expecting or what they initially wanted in the beginning. But they still wanted to have kids and neither Ben nor (Y/n) wanted to lose any of the three new lives they had created.

"We need to keep her in for observation for at least a week so we can get her fluid levels up and get your wife to start eating and monitor the pregnancy and she may need to stay for longer, depending on how quickly she recovers."

"Can I go see her now?"

"Of course."

Ben needed no more than that to make him turn on his heels and head over to where Billy was at contently playing a game on his phone. He scooped Billy up into his arms, letting him continue playing the level of the game he was focusing on.

"Alright buddy, we're off to see your mum now and then I'm gonna take you home, sound good?" He settled Billy on his hip, taking his phone back the moment Billy handed it over, no longer interested in the phone now he knew he could go and see (Y/n). The waiting hadn't been too bad for Billy, he was easily content by looking at his surroundings, his mind had the ability to run away with him and he could sit with his thoughts. But it was the worry of not knowing if (Y/n) was okay that had been hard on Billy.

Ben knew his son had been unsettled and shocked by seeing (Y/n) in such a state. He was very close to (Y/n) so finding her in the bathroom like that and having to see her so ill was frightening for the five year old and it hurt Ben to see his son be so distressed like he had been today.

Neither of them knew what to expect when they entered (Y/n)'s hospital room, although Ben had been told (Y/n) was awake part of him expected her to be asleep or half conscious like she had been earlier.

Ben rubbed his hand up and down Billy's back as they both looked over at (Y/n) the moment they entered the room. (Y/n) still looked as pale as she had done when Ben found her earlier in the bathroom. She could barely keep her eyes open but as he got closer Ben realised that her lips weren't chapped or pale in colour anymore and she didn't have a cold sweat anymore. It was surprising to Ben that (Y/n) was awake right now when she had only been barely lucid earlier and it surprised him even more that she hadn't miscarried. As much as he was relieved and overjoyed that (Y/n) was still pregnant, it was surprising because of how dehydrated she was and how little she had eaten.

There was a drip taped to her left hand and one taped into a vein in her right arm which Ben knew were both for the fluids she needed and the anti-emetics, both of which would be going straight into her bloodstream. There was a monitor checking her heart rate which was thankfully silent at the moment so there was no background noise to focus on.

"Mummy!" Billy started to wriggle in Ben's arms, feeling a desperate urge to scramble over to (Y/n). It had been little over two hours since he had last seen her but Billy was yearning to burrow into (Y/n)'s arms and reassure himself that she was okay.

"Hey baby." (Y/n)'s voice was scratchy and very quiet but the tired smile on her lips was enough to calm Billy right down and make him almost jump out of Ben's arms and onto the bed. He crawled his way up the bed until he was level with (Y/n) and flung his arms around her neck, burrowing into her side when he felt her arms cocooning around him like a safety blanket.

"Buddy be careful with your mum, mind the wires."

Ben leaned over the pair of them so that he could help Billy move under the drips rather than laying on them like he was so that he didn't constrict the fluids (Y/n) needed. When he was sure that Billy wasn't laying on any wires or tubes, Ben sat down in the seat next to the bed.

He could feel his heart beating just that little bit faster in his chest at the sight in front of him. It was normal for Ben to find Billy curled up next to (Y/n) o the sofa or in bed, as much as he loved following Ben around like a lost puppy, he was always attaching himself to (Y/n). But it made something inside of Ben churn to see Billy curled up against (Y/n) when she looked as ill as she did and when she was laid in a hospital bed. It was like Ben was looking at a familiar photo but the background was different or something was missing and it was making him feel uneasy.

"You better now mummy?" Billy tilted his head up so his chin was perched on (Y/n)'s shoulder and the way he looked up at her with puppy dog eyes made her heart melt in her chest. It was as if he was willing for her to be better so they could all go home when deep down he knew (Y/n) wasn't going to be coming home tonight.

"I feel a bit better now baby, but I can't come home just yet." (Y/n) slowly started to card her finger through Billy's hair to try and calm him down when he frowned and looked like he was about to cry.

"Why? Daddy said he can look after you-"

"Buddy don't start that again, please. You know your mum has to stay here and get better before she comes home. The doctor will look after your mum and I'll look after you."

Ben didn't want to go through this again, he knew Billy was just desperate for them all to go back home where he felt safer and more at ease but right now that just couldn't happen. Ben couldn't make (Y/n) better by magic and neither could the doctors and if she went home right now all that would happen would be a repeat of today. (Y/n) wouldn't eat because she wouldn't have the medicine going straight into her vein and she would lose fluids. It was very clear that if she lost anymore fluids they were in danger of losing her and not just the babies.

"What about baby, is baby okay?" Billy still looked unsure and rather deflated at the news that (Y/n) wasn't coming home with them yet but he was clearly trying his best to stay positive. He slowly moved his hand and looked down to (Y/n)'s small bump that he started to rub like he was soothing the baby and making sure they were okay.

Neither (Y/n) nor Ben had the heart or the courage to tell Billy just yet that it wasn't just one baby. They both knew that the news of three new siblings all at once wasn't going to be exactly what he wanted to hear. The five year old did want siblings but he also liked being an only child because he got the attention he wanted from both his parents. Three new babies in the house was going to steal the attention he had so far and it wouldn't be as fun as he thought having a sibling would be.

"Yeah, the baby's okay."

"Can you play a game on my phone again for a minute buddy just so I can talk to your mum before we go home?"

When Billy nodded, Ben fished his personal phone out from his pocket and handed it to Billy when the five year old sat up on the bed. He planted a loud kiss to (Y/n)'s cheek before he slowly scrambled off the bed and sat down on the chair next to the door to give his parents some space to talk.

"I left you for one morning and I end up getting Billy calling me cause you collapsed in the bathroom. Why didn't you tell me how bad you were?"

Ben watched the way (Y/n)'s eyes flicked down to look at her hands which were resting on her stomach so she didn't have to look at Ben's burning gaze. She knew he wasn't telling her off or angry with her but she knew that he was uneasy about this. Billy had to call him and tell him to come home and that was something that had never happened before and that Ben didn't even consider would happen. If (Y/n) just told him how badly she felt in the morning he would have stayed and could have been there when she collapsed instead of her being home alone with Billy.

"Billy called you? I was gonna ring you but everything just seemed to blur and switch off... how badly did I scare him?"

A sigh escaped Ben's lips when he saw the tears forming in (Y/n)'s eyes at the thought of scaring Billy like that. He tangled his hand with hers but moved his other hand to the back of (Y/n)'s head, knotting his fingers into her hair as he leaned to kiss her temple.

(Y/n) didn't remember much about this morning, she knew that suddenly she felt like her insides were churning and as if her stomach was shrivelling up into nothing. When she collapsed in the bathroom everything else seemed to blur together into a mush of voices and movements. She remembered Ben's voice and being in the car but the timeline was skewed, all (Y/n) knew was that Ben had brought her to hospital. Being told that Billy actually had to call Ben made (Y/n)'s heart break in her chest and she knew how badly hospitals upset Billy.

"He didn't understand, he thought you were asleep and asked me to come look after you but he was scared. You were badly dehydrated doll and I can't have you getting that bad again or I'm risking losing you, not just them." Ben's eyes darted down to (Y/n)'s stomach where he moved their entwined hands to brush over her skin.

The thought of losing (Y/n) scared Ben and there was very little that scared him. His family being at any sort of risk was the only thing that could make Ben panic and he wouldn't know what to do if he lost (Y/n), nor did he really know what they would do if they lost this pregnancy. He wouldn't know how to help (Y/n) or what to say or even how she would react to something like that and Ben didn't want to know. He wanted (Y/n) to be safe and okay and for their three babies to be okay.

"The doctor said the medication will start working now and I'm under observation for the next week or two."

"It'll work because it's finally getting into your system for once so hopefully you'll actually be able to eat and drink something. I don't wanna leave you doll because you're still in a bad way but I need to get him back home. I'll get everything covered at the club and bring Billy back tomorrow after preschool, okay?"

Ben didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay and reassure himself that the medication and fluids were working in making (Y/n) better and stopping her state from deteriorating any more than this. But he also needed to get Billy back home for something to eat and to settle him down since he had had a distressing day. He would bring Billy back tomorrow to reassure him that (Y/n) was still okay and getting better and so he could see (Y/n) himself. Ben didn't exactly like the thought of going home and not having (Y/n) there, he hated not having her at home it was always like something was wrong or missing and he couldn't fix it.

But at the same time, Ben knew that Billy would most likely be crawling into bed with him tonight.

When (Y/n) nodded, Ben managed a small smile before he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. He knew when he first found (Y/n) in the bathroom earlier her lips had been chapped and dry from dehydration but he was relieved now to feel that her lips weren't dry or chapped.

"Okay, come on buddy say goodbye to your mum so I can get you home."

Ben tried to bite back his smile when (Y/n) buried her face into his neck, breathing in his scent which made a shiver run down his spine at the feeling of her breaths against his neck. She didn't want him to go, sleeping without Ben was extremely hard even with how tired and drowsy she felt right now. But he had to go and take Billy home and she knew her boys would be coming back to see her in the afternoon.

"We'll be back tomorrow, doll."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #imagine #BoRhap #dad! ben #murderer! ben #pregnant! reader #family of six

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tammythompson-singslikea-muppet · 4 years

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Betrayal (Stan Uris x reader x Richie Tozier Reddie)

Soooo I wrote this a long time ago and put a lot of work into it but then didn’t end up being super happy about the ending and the fandom slowly dying so I never posted it. Revisiting the story and re-writing a few things I have decided to post it so ENJOY!! I couldn’t really come up with a better name if you have any suggestion I would gladly take them.

Warnings: swearing, some sexual references and mentions of sex

aged up 18/19

Bold = flashbacks

Part 2

You walked into the dinner on a slightly sunny morning in July. It had started to get warmer in Derry but since it was still early in the day the temp was barely out of the seventies. You sat down next to a familiar mop of perfect curls at the bar,

"I could kill a man for a coffee right about now."

"Is that so." The boy responded sipping his coffee from his mug. You both let out a laugh. The same waitress as always came over and immediately poured you a cup of coffee without even having to ask.

"Thanks, Josie." You picked up two packets of sugar and dumped them into your coffee along with a little bit of creamer. After taking a sip the boy looked over to you with a small smile,

"I guess I shall live another day".

"Lucky you."

A moan escaped your lips as you were pushed against the wall of the bathroom, basically swallowing each other's tounges. One hand was tangled in the beautiful mess of curls the other rests on his bicep which leads down to his hand at your hip, the other at the back of your neck. Heavy and passionate were two things someone from the outside might call it but you could only feel need. The door open and closed before a voice rang out,

"I guess you're taking the break up with Richie pretty well then?" Beverly continued over to a stall. You and Stan pulled away from each other, the Uris boy quickly making his way for the door. When he opened it he was met with an older lady and immediately apologized, squeezing his way past her. A blush very noticeable on his cheeks. She walks in and glances over to you "Wrong door" You shrugged. She shook her head knowing better and went into a stall. Beverly walked out and just laughed at you. Failing to conceal a laugh you brought a hand to your mouth. Beverly washed her hands and you both exited the bathroom and walked towards the counter. "Stan took care of it all" Josie smiled. You pulled out your wallet and handed her an extra tip anyway. She smiled and thanked you.

"Did you walk here?" You asked Beverly as you left the dinner.

"No Bill dropped me off." She motioned over to Bill sitting in his car, it seems Stan found it first and was leaning against the car talking to Bill.

"No Haystack today?"

"He's still sick," She scrunched up her nose in disgust."-But he's getting better." When you looked up at the car you could see someone sitting in the backseat. Suddenly it was like you were fighting with yourself to turn around every step that you took. Beverly looked over to you and mouthed sorry. You told them that you didn't want people taking sides, and you were glad that they didn't. But that doesn't mean it hurt any less to see someone you used to be so close with, and not even have it in you to say hello. Beverly grabbed something from the front seat before joining you by Stan, who was conversating with Bill and the boy in the back seat. You didn't even want to say his name let alone look at him so you just stared at the ground.

"Bye Bill, see ya, Eddie." You almost winced at his name. As you, Stan, and Beverly walked over to your car you could feel Stan about to apologize. He could barely get out the word 'I'm' before you pointed a finger up at him.

"I said no apologizing," he sighed and sat down in the passenger's seat," I said no picking sides, and I meant it you do not need to apologize for talking to one of your friends."

"But I feel b-,"

"I told you not to feel bad either." You looked over at him and showed him a smile. "Now be my DJ, we're going over to Mike's." Stan gladly turned on the radio as Bev in the back groaned,

"But his music taste sucks,(Y/N)!" you laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

Mike welcomed the three of you with a smile and directed you towards the living room. Beverly walked up to Mike as you and Stan trailed behind. You could see her whispering into his ear. Being curious as to what was short-lived once Mike turned to you and Stanley.

"So what have you two been up to today besides playing tonsil hockey in public restrooms?"

"Subtle. very subtle." You glared between the pair on the couch. Stan looked around the room trying to avoid the question, and you just ignored it entirely. "How's your truck coming along?"

"Yeah did you get that part Bill said you needed?" Stan butted in. Not even looking at her you could feel Beverly rolling her eyes. Mike just laughed at your change of subject.

"Yeah, I just ordered it this morning. Hopefully, it will be the only part I have to order and I'll be driving you losers around in no time." The four of you spent most of the afternoon talking about a little party you guys are throwing for Ben over here at the farm. He had been gone the most June, out visiting family, and when he came back y'all did a welcome home movie night but he got really sick. So now it was your idea to just throw a whole dang party cuz why not, the kid deserves it. Although the only thing that really makes it a party is decorations. Seeing as it'll just be the eight of you as always goofing around.

"I think the final question is," Mike turned around to look at you. "Are you gonna be ok with Richie and Eddie here?"

You didn't want to answer this question. Everything seemed so different the last time you were all together. It was actually that same night, that Ben came home when you caught them. You haven't spoken to or even seen Richie since that night. Although you still weren't very keen on the idea of seeing them, you weren't even sure how it was all gonna go with your dramatic little ass, but you were gonna face it for Ben. And s' mores.

"I guess we'll see how it goes." Stan smiled at you, completely unconvinced that this wasn't going to turn into some sort of emotional disaster for you.

"Have you talked to him at all?" Mike asked. You looked down at your feet causing Mike to put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"It sucks, I know. But, next to Bev respectively, you're the toughest girl I've ever met, and Richie is gonna feel like complete and udder shit for at least a month, maybe two, but that doesn't mean that you have to. We're gonna have loads of fun and you're totally gonna forget what a shitty week you've been having." A grateful smile graced your features,

"Thanks, Mikey." Mike looked over to Stan who was talking with Beverly and leaned in closer to you. "So what's going on with you and Stan?" Mike has been very speculative over what has been going on with you and Stanley. The two of you were in vulnerable states, both going through difficult breakups. Mike didn't want to see his friends in any more hurt than they already were, which made him highly skeptical of your and Stan's, a bit, lusty escapades.

The question through you off a bit. The thing is you hadn't really thought of much about what you and Stan were doing. Neither of you treated it very seriously and were just trying to find someone to dull the pain. It wasn't a very healthy coping mechanism and both you knew that, but anyway threw caution to the wind. For once in his life, Stanley felt out of his head. He wasn't overthinking anything, because it just felt good. And at the moment that's all he really wanted to feel, same as you. Neither of you ever stopped to think that maybe it felt a little too good. So instead of hashing out all the pain and misery the both you just though it easier to get a little horny. You've never actually slept together, but you don't think the rest of the losers believe that. The other day you were at Mr. Keene's store with Bill picking up a few things and he proceeded to throw a pregnancy test at you and said

"Here I-I'll call Stan and tell him thu-thu-the news" You started at him shocked for a second then threw it back at him.

"Hardy har har, you want me to track down someone who's ACTUALLY pregnant then leave the test in your mother's bathroom? Hmm, I bet that would lead to an interesting conversation now wouldn't it Mr. Denbrough." You spatted out quickly and both erupted in laughter, then Bill motioned over to Greta sitting behind the prescription pick up counter. After that, you were turning heads with all the noise and loud laughter being made.

"Umm, I don't know. It's just a bit of tension release I guess. Something easy and simple between friends." The words came out of your mouth quickly wanting to move away from the subject. That seemed to be your new hobby, avoiding subjects. You could tell that Mike wasn't trying to pry. He was just worried about the whole thing. You were gonna reassure him that everything would be fine, but for one: You didn't know that and for two: The house phone started ringing. You nodded your head towards the phone and Mike went to take of it.

"This conversation isn't over."

"Uh-huh,"

Stan walked over to you. "What's the conversation about?" Stan questioned. You sighed

"Nothing. Just about us." At that moment Stan turned his head down towards your's then immediately stopped what he was doing. The next thing that was about to happen - that Stan stopped from happening - was something that told Stan that this whole thing was gonna come back to bite him in the ass. And that maybe Mike has a point being worried about you two.

See the thing is, Stan is not a very affectionate person to someone other than who he is in a relationship with. When you are just a friend occasional hugs and a hand on a shoulder are about as touchy-feaey as Stan would get, unless it's movie night then he'll end up resting his head on someone's shoulder. If another loser was standing right beside you sensing your unease and possibly slight confusion, that Stan was sensing, it would be a totally normal Ben thing to just put a hand on your four-arm rubbing gently. And it would be a totally normal thing for Bill to lean down and press a gentle friendly kiss on the top of your head, of course not without a sly remark from Richie. 'But that's over now.' Stan thought to himself. But a thing like that, an innocent little kiss on the top of the head to comfort a friend was not a very Stanley thing to do. Yet there he stood looking slightly down, not being much over a head taller than yourself, having to stop and think to himself about what the heck he was doing. Because that was exactly what he was about to do, press a kiss to the top of your head. 'It's just an innocent kiss! That didn't even happen! Don't you dare overthink this Stan!! Don't ruin yet another good thing with stupid fucking overthinking!!' While yelling at himself in his head his gaze had never left the top of yours. Suddenly his eyes were no longer looking at your head but rather into your eyes. You had leaned your head up to notice that Stan was staring at you. 'Shit! Shit! Shit!' There goes Stan again yelling in his head.

"Whatcha thinking about Mr. Boy Scout?" In what felt like years to him, Stan finally blinked, swallowed, then answered,

"Nothing." And with that and much to Stan's luck, Mike walked back into the room.

"Was just a telemarketer- anyway what are we talking about?"

"Absolutely nothing," Beverly smirked at you and Stan. The awkward silence didn't last long when Beverly spoke again.

"Uh, I have to drop off something at Richie's"

"Count me out." The eye roll and tone in Stan's voice hurt you more then you expected. Another totally unexpected feeling was that you suddenly felt bad for Richie. He and Stan had been friends for ages. It was this exact thing that you didn't want happening when you told everybody not to pick sides. And now you are standing right next Stan listening to the disdain in his voice when Bev mentioned Richie and it almost made you feel sick. 'Girl! Get your shit together! The last person you should feel bad for is Richie fucking Tozier! You lost a best friend because of him, its only fair he looses one too!' your mind screamed at you.’ But that still didn't get rid of that feeling in the pit of your stomach.

The rest of them have been doing pretty alright with it, according to Bill, Bev has been a little snippy to them, but apologizes. Bill says he's Switzerland and honestly you're thankful for that but it must suck for him the most because of it. He tells Bev that he tries hard not to be mad at them, but he also feels like in doing so it's an injustice to you, so he really just tries to split his time with you guys down the middle. Mike is the true neutral out of them, he really doesn't like the confrontation but has admitted to wanting to punch them both in the teeth at least once. Ben says he is really upset at them and has been telling you that he's only not talking to them that much because he's sick and he hasn't been talking to anyone that much that isn't Bev. But you also once overheard Bill tell Stan that he hasn't even spoken a word to Eddie, on account of the fact that he was the one who introduced you and Richie and that just really struck a chord with him. You brought it up to him once but he faked a coughing fit to avoid it then changed the subject. He and Stan are the only two who have made an effort to avoid or not talk to Richie or Eddie, but as much as you tell them you just want everybody to get along and you don't want anyone else getting hurt you can't exactly control people.

*time skip to party*

"Eduardo, àndale, let's go!" You yell to Eddie in the car as you and Richie walk up to Bill's door. You were so excited to see Ben and were always happy to hang out with all the losers. Eddie gets out of the car as Richie opens the door,

"Billiam, the threesome have arrived!!" You and Richie walk in hand-in-hand Eddie in short distance

"Quit calling us that, Rich! It's fucking gross!!" Eddie shouted from the doorway, closing the door behind him. You walk into the living room to find Ben. Like always he's sitting next to Beverly on the couch so you venture over there

"HANDSOME HANSCOM!!! WELCOME HOME!!" He blushes at your nickname and gives you a smile.

"Thanks, (Y\N)" It felt nice to have Ben back with all of the losers. The bunch of you asked Ben questions about his trip and messed around for about an hour, before deciding to put in the movie. They all look at you and as you were leaning on Richie's shoulder.

"What?"

"The movie?" Stan questioned.

"Oh right! It's in my car I'll be right back."

You walked out to the car and sat down in the front seat grabbing the movie out of the glove compartment. You open the door to your car as Stan gets out on the other side. Standing in front of the car, preparing to go in, your breath hitches in the back of your throat as you see Eddie's car. Your mouth goes dry and you feel like you just want to crawl back into the car and drive home. Stan walks over to you and puts an arm around your shoulder. Suddenly he feels the same way, letting himself be affectionate like this. But when he looks down at you and sees the look on your face he throws all that aside. Stan squeezes you into his side rubbing his hand up and down your forearm. You take a deep breath and lean into him. Stan feels his heart flutter as he sees and can almost feel you finding comfort in him. You turn your head to look up to him. You would've felt the same flutter had your mind, heart, and stomach not be so focused on your ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend.

"It's gonna be alright. Right?" You ask, the smallness in your voice pained Stan. His nervousness was gone now, replaced with anger. Not enough to present on his face, but enough for him to hear your voice ring in his ears when he sees Eddie on Richie's lap when the two eventually get inside.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be fine. I promise." He unwraps his arm from and holds out his hand, palm up.

"You won't start shit with Richie or Eddie?" You said lacing your hand into Stan's, the pair of them dropping down to your sides as you start for the door. Stan gives you a smile and nods

"Promise."

You opened the door and entered the house again, this time with the movie. You handed it over to Bill then sat down on the couch next to Ben, on his other side was Beverly at the end of the couch. Mike sat down on the other side of you at the other end of the couch, Stan was sitting over in the recliner beside the couch on Bev's side. Eddie and Richie were on popcorn duty so they were in the kitchen. Far away enough from the loser's sight Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist while he stood in front of the microwave waiting for the popcorn.

"Stop, Rich, they're gonna see us."

A muffled "No they're not," came from Richie who was now snuggling his head into Eddie's neck. Eddie looked around nervously for a second. When he saw no one present he relaxed into Richie and leaned his head up against the boy's who's was in his neck. The microwave dinged and Eddie jumped. Richie laughed and let go of Eddie getting a bowl from the cabinet,

"Scared of a microwave Eds?" Eddie dumped the popcorn into the bowl handing back to Richie,

"Take this dickwad. And don't call me Eds!" The rest of the losers heard their usual bickering as they entered back into Bill's living room. You gave a smile to Richie and he sat down on the floor at your feet. He handed Beverly the popcorn then grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulders, leaning his head back. You laughed and your hands went to play with his beautiful, although messy curls.

"Stop! I worked really hard on these curls!" Stan smacked away your hand as Mike opened the door.

"I just can't!! I'm a sucker for the curls." You whined. Mike laughed, smiling at his friends,

"Come on Bev is trying to teach us yo-yo tricks." Stan let out a laugh. As you walk into the living room Bill is in front of the couch with one of Ben's yo-yo's failing to do a trick Bev is doing right next to him with ease.

"You'll get it someday Denbrough."

"H-h-how about you try it huh?" Bill sassed you, his eyebrows furrowed together, mouth in a pout. You couldn't help but chuckle at his frustration, which could mirror the frustration of a little boy or a toddler even. Your eyes move over to Ben and a smile grows big on your face as you pull Stan over to where Ben is patting the cushion next to him. As you sit down next to Ben your eyes wander toward the back of the room in reaction to your ears hearing laughter. You, obviously, didn't know Stan's eyes were following until you felt his person stiffen like a board 'It's gonna be alright. Right?' the look that you gave him and the tone in your voice haunting his brain, reminding himself to keep a lid on it. There they were right before you, Eddie sitting comfortably in Richie's lap, his legs hanging over the arm of the chair. Richie's arms holding him there securely. They were laughing at Bev doing funny tricks with her yo-yo behind Bill so he wouldn't see, still determined to get the trick right. You hadn't noticed you were staring until suddenly Eddie's eyes were staring right back into yours. Everyone else seemed to notice as a silence fell over the room. Mike coughed and you snapped your eyes down to the floor.

"So are we gonna play a game or something?" Stan asked, putting a hand at the small of your back rubbing lightly. Ben saw out of the corner of his eye. He saw how your shoulders dropped as your body visibly relaxed. You had noticed it yourself. Ben looked over at Beverly and when she noticed he started quickly shifting his eye back from her to you and Stan. Bev gave him an 'I told you so' look.

"Yeah, we got games in the closet who wants to play Clue?"

"Yes!!" You yelled. You and Bill high-fived.

Stan winced and rubbed his ear "Ow! That was my ear!"

When Richie finally got the guts to look over in your direction he wasn't expecting to see your hand caringly rest itself on the side of Stan's head

"Sorry" He heard you say with a soft laugh. One that he knew all too well. A little sign of embarrassment, but not too much that you would go shy. He could also hear the soft sympathy in your voice. He noticed something about it. Not that it was different. No, it wasn't different at all. That was the thing though; your tone wasn't even the slightest bit different from the way Richie remembers your voice sounding. Not when talking to anyone else, but when talking to him specifically. What he heard in your voice was what he had always heard in your voice whenever you would look at him with those eyes full of love and caring. 'But why would you have that tone in your voice talking to Stan,' Richie had wondered to himself. Then he saw Stanley's hand. Up at his ear when you had shouted, drop down to the small of your back. His eyes glued to Stanley Uris' thumb, as he rubbed it against the small of your back in a soothingly intimate way. It made an emotion surge throughout Richie. He didn't quite know what it was but he knew that he didn't like it.

You were searching around a bit for Richie, confused when you couldn't find him anywhere downstairs. When the movie had finished up Ben didn't feel so good so Beverly took him home. You had gone along for the ride to get some more drinks for the rest of you. When you got back to Bill's, Richie was nowhere to be seen. When you first walked into the house you went to the kitchen with Bill to put away the soda's grabbing one for you and Bev. Going back to the living room you noticed it was only Bev and Mike. 'Geez, where'd everybody go?' You thought to your self. You looked over your shoulder to find Bill headed your way. You turned around and noticed Stan on the stairs face scrunched in frustration on the phone. 'Poor thing' You assumed he was on the phone with Patty, the two of them haven't been along too well recently. You turn back around,

"Hey, Mike, you seen Richie or Eds?" He shook his head.

"Richie I don't know, but I thought Eddie was talking to Stan over there." You gave him a small smile and muttered thanks before you went over to Stan. You felt bad disturbing him on the phone but he seemed almost relieved to get out of the conversation. You stuck your hand between the banisters on the stairs and tapped a finger on Stan's knee.

"Hey, have you seen Richie?" You hesitantly ask Bev.

"He's over there by the stairs with Mike." She smiled reassuringly at you and put a hand on your shoulder. Richie saw you approach the two of them and put his head down expecting you to be there to talk to Mike. But when Mike walked away he looked up surprised.

"Hey, Rich." An awkward feeling settled in the air.

"Hi" a hint of optimism in his voice. Richie felt relieved that you were actually talking to him, although you weren't all too thrilled about it, you wanted to get it over with. Maybe help things get back to normal.

"Uh, thanks for letting me and Eds come to the party. I know you, Beverly and Mike planned it so, thanks." A pretty genuine smile mixed with a little unsettlement, not knowing what you were gonna do or say.

"Well they're your friends too, and the party is for Ben anyway so." Your voice was small and fragile. Richie's felt his body relax. He didn't know if it was because the sound of your voice made me feel like the worst person in the world or because he was relieved that you weren't yelling at him. He supposed it was a little bit of both.

"I'm surprised they all still talk to me." Upon hearing that, you immediately thought of what you overheard Bill say about Ben not talking to Eddie.

"I truly don't think they would have cut you off forever, I mean they were your friends before they were mine-"

"Yeah but your more likable" You chuckled and Richie smiled,

"The truth is they had talked to me about it and I told them I didn't want anyone taking sides. But still, I think only maybe, Ben and Bev would have given you a real silent treatment. I'm sorry that Stan kinda has."

"No, No you have nothing to be sorry for. It's all on me. But thank you. For asking them not to pick sides. It means a lot." The hallway fell silent again.

"I don't want you to get offended or anything, I truly don't mean anything by this,-" Richie was now being overly cautious with his words, he really didn't want to hurt you more than he already has. "I was just a little surprised when Stan cut me off as he did. You two never really seemed that close, now he's practically glued to your hip."

Richie's tone fell more toward anger as reached the end of his sentence, his mind thinking back to Stanley's hand on your back. A part of him added that in just to hear your answer. Had you already moved on? Is that why you were talking to him because you had moved on to Stan? Why did this upset him so much? When you answered with a little,

"Yeah, honestly me too." Richie felt not just his confusion grow but also his anger.

This wasn't like Stan. If Stan would have wanted to be in a relationship with you he would have told you. 'Well maybe she just doesn't want to tell you?' 'No.' He thought 'That couldn't be it, she sounds just as confused as I do. What was Stan getting at with her?' Richie was snapped back into reality when Eddie came bounding down the stairs loud as usual, shouting,

"Mike you're out of band-aids! You should put that on a list or something, do you know how infected cuts can get without the proper bandage or ointment?!" Richie laughed and smiled at Eddie.

"Do you even need a band-aid?" Beverly asked amused by Eddie's usual antics.

"Well, no but still!" Eddie saw you and froze, but when he saw that you were laughing a bit he relaxed.

He had been extremely nervous to come to the party. It would be the first time all eight of you would be hanging out since you had caught him and Richie. Not to mention it was a party for Ben, and Ben hadn't even talked to him since Beverly told him what happened. Eddie couldn't even count how many times he had asked Richie if it would just be better if they stayed home together. But every single time Richie would reassure him that everything would be fine, even though he was asking himself the same damn question. Eddie was practically shaking about seeing you again. He felt so guilty about going behind your back with Richie, but he couldn't help himself. He had spent all that time in pain thinking Richie didn't love him back, so when Richie actually told him that he was in love with him. It was all Eddie could think about. All the voices in his head telling him how selfish he was being, were tearing at him, but they were pushed aside. He was so tired of longing for Richie on the sidelines. He deserved happiness too. Eddie Kaspbrak was not proud in any way of how he got it, but the happiness he felt when being with Richie was something otherworldly to him. How could he let it go? How could he let something so precious and important to him, something he wanted for so long, slip through his fingers?

"Well hey, me and (Y\N) could g-g-go over to Muh-mister Keene's." Bill threw a wink in your direction

"I swear to god you throw one more fucking pregnancy test at me, Denbrough!"

Stan shouted, "What?" as the rest of you laughed. You had walked away as Richie's laughter died down when his mind had put two and two together. Richie then put his arm around Eddie and pressed a kiss to his head to try and calm himself down. 'I can't fucking believe he would do this to her!'

You laughed with the rest of them and sat back down next to Stan who was looking more confused by the second. You explained what happened at Mr.Keene's to him. All of you laugh even more when you bring up framing Bill for knocking someone up. Stan leaned over and whispered in your ear

"You did tell him we aren't actually sleeping with each other right?" You leaned over to his ear

"Of course I did. He just doesn't believe me." You both shake your heads laughing

"Bev and Ben didn't believe me when I told them either."

"Yeah, I don't think Mike does either, but honestly it's not like we would really believe them if it was the other way around or something." Stan laughed,

"I might believe Mike, but the others, probably not"

"And what are you two whispering about?" Bev wiggled her eyebrows.

"'Oh Stanley I love the way you cuddle up to me in the middle of the night!! You're such a good lover and such a strong man!!'" Bill squealed out in a girly voice.

"What the fuck!!" You shouted in between fits of laughter. The whole room was in hysterics as Bill threw his arms around Mike. Richie stood by the entrance of the living room with Eddie who was dying laughing. Richie, however, was faking a laugh, trying his hardest to keep his cool. He put on a smile on his face and gave a little chuckle as he told Eddie he was going to get a drink. Mike then threw his arms around Bill the same, playing along. The pair was then pretending to make out, their hands foolishly caressing each other's bodies as they made kissing noises. Stan hoped you were too busy laughing to see the intense blush across his cheeks as he laughed as well. Lucky for him you were doubled over in laughter and lucky for you as well, as you were also hiding a blush behind your laughing. "Is that really how you see us?" You laughed asked Bill before he could answer Richie's voice was heard loud across the living room.

"Hey, Stanley can we talk for a second?"

Stan looked over to you. The soft expression on your face almost seemed to calm him.

"Hey, do you know where Richie went?" You asked softly.

"I saw him go upstairs. I think."

"Thanks, Stan." You walk up the stairs wondering what the fuck Richie would be doing upstairs. Your eyes immediately go to Georgie's room. You always got a weird feeling from that room ever since he had died. Forgetting about Richie for a second you take a few steps closer to the door of the, now forever, young boy's bedroom. You reached your hand to the handle of the door when you heard a noise coming from Bill's room. You're head snapped around at the sudden noise. You took a deep breath and headed towards Bill's room.

"Why the hell are you in Bill's room, Richie?" you whispered to yourself. You opened up the door a crack deciding to peep on Richie in hopes of scaring him. You look into the room and see that Richie was with Eddie. Second, guessing whether or not you should go on with the scare, knowing Eddie will you chew your ass out for it, you heard your name in conversation,

"Hold on I think (Y\N) and Beverly are back." You looked in and saw Eddie going for the windows. Before he could reach one Richie grabbed his wrist and pulled Eddie back next to him on the bed.

"They went to go bring Ben home, they're totally not back yet just relax." You notice the soothing tone in Richie's voice. Usually, when Eddie is freaking out over nothing Richie just sounds annoyed. You've never really heard him be soft with Eddie like that. Which drew you to the conclusion that he was being soft for a reason. 'But why would Eddie be so worried about me and Bev coming back?' You watched as Richie put a hand on Eddie's shoulder. 'What the hell is going on here?' You continued to watch Richie's hand very closely as it traveled from Eddie's shoulder up to his neck with a thumb rubbing gently behind his ear. Your confusion grew more and more with every passing second. Eddie then put his hand up to Richie's. 'surely to swat him away' you instinctively thought. Only he didn't, instead, he gently held the other boy's hand. You could feel your throat begin to dry, slowly becoming hard to swallow. You watched as Richie leaned in and rested his forehead against Eddie's. Everything in you stiffened as you begged for it all to be over. For Eddie to say, 'what in the world are you doing?'. Or for Richie to playfully shove Eddie over messing around. For the whole scene in front of you to fade away like some sort of hallucination. Hell!, maybe even for someone to say 'what about (Y\N)?' at that point you would take anything. Any sort of hesitation or wavering. But your internal pleas would never be answered. Probably never even heard no matter how loud they were screaming from inside of you. You were forced to watch by eyes that couldn't pry themselves away from the scene before them, almost like they were watching for answers or confirmation of what seems now to be what has been happening behind your back for God knows how long. You felt your stomach drop, your heart, and it plummeting down together. As Richie, confident as ever, took Eddie into his arms connecting their lips together with such passion. Your eyes couldn't watch any longer. Before you even knew what you were doing, your hand had balled into a fist and slammed itself against the white bedroom door. Two loud bangs echoed through the house: The first one from your fist connecting with the door, the second from the door hitting the wall of Bill's bedroom. Leaving a large dent Bill would have to explain to his mother later. The two boys jumped from the sound. So had everybody downstairs. Their eyes wide faces drained of any color, you wouldn't be able to think they could get any paler. But when they realized who was at the door, who made that noise. It was almost like they had turned to ghosts. Eddie looked into the eyes of his best friend. He didn't think eyes could hold so much rage yet so much heartbreak at the same time. It was enough to make him nauseous. He would have bet you good money that at that moment he would vomit. At that point, you had started to cry. Richie stood frozen his face-melting from shock into guilt as he watched the tears stream down your face. As if this wasn't humiliating enough, being cheated on with your best friend, when you turned around to run, you were met with the confused faces of all your friends, except Ben of course.

"What happened?" Mike asked looking at you with sympathy.

"They're fucking!" You stated with anger and betrayal. Beverly looked at the two with anger.

"NO! No! We would never not while (Y\N) and I..." You couldn't hear the rest of what Richie was saying as you raced down the stairs to get out of there. Stan following in suit as Richie walked into Mike's room. Stan walked to the opposite side of the room as Richie closed Mike's bedroom door. Stan didn't know what Richie wanted with him, what he knew was that he did not want to be in that room with Richie, hell he didn't even want to be in that house with Richie. Stan didn't quite understand why he felt this fucking mad at Richie, all he knew was that he was this fucking mad at Richie. And with that much anger, he didn't know how to keep it in. Nor did he want to. Of course, Richie just wants to go back to being friends, he just wants his best friend back and everything to be back to normal. And that's what Stan thinks this whole thing is about. But boy was Stan unaware of the shit show that Richie was about to load on him. Stan stood against Mike's dresser, arms crossed waiting for Richie to spew some shit about, forgiveness or going back to normal, starting over. His eyes were almost already in the back of his head just thinking about it. Stan was starting to question just truly naive Richie was thinking things could just go back to nor-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing taking advantage of (Y\N) like that!"

Hold up, wait, WHAT! Stan looked at Richie like he had grown three heads, eye sharp like daggers,

"What in the actual hell are you talking about?" his voice was cold and stern. Stan could not believe what Richie had just said to him. How fucking dare Richie of all people accuse him of taking advantage of (Y\N)! Richie flailed

"I saw how she was with you, I heard what Bill said! How could you be so fucking carel-" Stan wouldn't even let Richie finish that last word.

"Don't you even fucking say it." Stan may have looked calm before, but now you could see everything in his demeanor change. Sharp, anger-filled eyes, clenched jaw, clenched fists, with tall erect posture. Richie swallowed stopping for a second. There was still nothing changing his mind on what he believed Stan to be doing.

"What is wrong with you, why would even think it's ok to just use (Y\N) for sex!?-" Stan was fueled with rage, he couldn't believe that Richie would think that. He has known Stan for years, and after all this time, this is the conclusion he makes about him. He watched as Richie shouted as he paced back and forth, spewing his mouth like a damn hypocrite, arms flying through the air and in Stan's face. Stan had just about had enough,

"Cuz, of course, it never crossed your mind for even a second that I might actually care for her!" Richie was just about out of breath with anger, small pants were in between his words as he said:

"If you really cared about her you would have left her alone not taken advantage of her while she's vulnerable." Stan didn't even need time to process that sentence before his mind had decided what would come out of his mouth. The truth. The last sentence to come out of Stan's mouth was something that Richie, the rest of the losers listening through the door, and LEAST of all Stan expected to hear. It was like something in him just snapped. The whole conversation, if you could call it that, Stan was able to keep his composure. He was never really one to yell, but something had just taken over him as he walked up to Richie,

"Oh really, you want to talk to me about caring about (Y\N), wake up and smell the roses Richie YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON HER!!! WITH HER BESTFRIEND!! YOU ARE THE REASON SHE'S IN A VULNERABLE PLACE! DON'T YOU STAND HERE AND TRY TO TELL ME THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING LOVES HER!"

They do say it makes you crazy. That's exactly what happened with Stan, over the year and a half that Eddie introduced her to the group and Richie and her starting dating, Stanley Uris had fallen in love with her. And it had made him crazy, either he wasn't able to admit it to himself, having had both been in relationships at the time of the meeting and falling for the young lady, or he was just that stupid and blind that couldn't see he was in love with (Y\N) (Y\L\N). Stan walked over to the door, twisting the handle, looking straight ahead avoiding all eye contact with anybody, walked out the door. (Y\N) trying to catch up right behind him.

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ificanwriteiscannon · 4 years

Text

ificanwriteiscannon masterlist

YAAAY, I finally made it!! Ok, so I’m pretty sure its probably missing a lot of stuff and it’s not the best masterlist ever, BUT at least its one right?! Hope you guys enjoy it!

Social media AUs:

Ben Hardy -

From haters to lovers (part.2)

Harry Styles -

Accidentally in Vegas (part.2)

Soulmate au

Y/N and Harry’s relationship on instagram

MCU -

Meeting and dating Bucky Barnes (part.2)

Y/N and Avengers texts

Proud godparent Steve shares a picture of his best friends’ family moment.

Bohemian Rhapsody cast -

Joe and Ben in Y/N’s IG (Gwil’s girlfriend)

Boyfriend!Ben jealous of girls night

Pregnancy/ Babies AU

Reader is Joe Mazzello’s sister and secretly dating Ben Hardy.

Reader and Gwilym’s relationship

Harry Potter Universe -

Sirius Black x reader modern AU

Draco x reader modern AU

Draco and Y\N Malfoy social media

Dorcas, Hestia, Lily, Mary and Marlene’s vacation

Musitians -

Roger Taylor x Reader + John Deacon x Reader AU

Duff Mackagan x Reader AU

Supernatural -

Baby Girl Winchester in her parents’ snapchats au

DC-

Being best friends with Caitlin and Barry, but having a crush on him

__________________________________

Aesthetics \\ Moodboards:

Klaus Mikaelson in love with a marmaid au

Harry Styles’ retro love aesthetic

Natasha’s little hacker sister in a relationship with Bucky au

Spencer Reid’s girlfriend au

Persephone and Hades aesthetic

Sam Winchester’s girl aesthetic

Being Draco Malfoy’s wife

BIKER!IVAR Aesthetic

Lagertha’s daughter and secretly dating Ivar

IL VOLO MONARCHY AU

Loki loving a Midgardian girl with powers AU

Harry Styles in a HP AU

Kol x Reader x Klaus AU

Guns n roses members as greek gods AU moodboard.

Friends with benefits with Damon Salvatore

One direction as demigods

Kpop idols

Ateez in Hogwarts houses

Christmas kpop aesthetics

______________________________________

Imagines:

Supernatural-

Mommy Winchester (Sam x Reader) \\ ( family album ) \\ Flashback

Musitians-

The roommate ( Brian May x Reader)

Tiny dancer (Axl Rose imagine)

Just give me a reason (Douglas!Nikki Sixx Imagine)

You’re the one (Jake Kiszka imagine)

Broken Strings (Harry Styles Imagine)

True Love (Harry Styles Snow White AU)

Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna Jr. (Nikki Sixx imagine)

The memory of you (Ringo imagine)

Actors -

Dynasty –Ferdia Walsh-Peelo Imagine

Ben Hardy Imagine – James Oliver Jones

Harry Potter Universe-

Draco Malfoy imagine

Regulus Black imagine

Criminal Minds-

Come back to me- Spencer Reid imagine

Vikings-

Ubbe Lothbrok imagine - Treat you better

Stranger Things-

Steve Harrington imagine

Steve Harrington Imagine ( not related to the first one, but apparently I keep forgetting to name imagines.. insert facepalm here)

MCU-

Loki’s Sigyn

Peaky Blinders-

Love Story (A Luca Changretta imagine)

Kpop-

Vampire au

_____________________________________

#masterlist #my masterlist #ificanwriteiscannon masterlist

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jetsandbennie · 5 years

Text

as both becomes all

summary: you’re pregnant and not with ben. it all feels like quite a lot to handle.

warnings: angst, fluff, smut (18+). female masturbation, female receiving oral, pregnancy

pairing: bodyguard!ben hardy x reader

word count: 13.1k

thank you so much for the positive feedback this little trilogy has gotten - i never expected that it would have gotten as popular as it did, and i’m so excited to be posting the final part of it!!

( gif creds to @ michaelscofieldx )

The tour ends abruptly.

Fans who were meant to be attending the last few shows are sent emails from your tour company, apologizing profusely, claiming that you had a health emergency that required you to not perform. And it’s true, of course, but you feel horrible. For nearly a week after you cancel the shows you’re getting angry tweets and DMs, people claiming it’s unprofessional.

News of you getting shot goes unnoticed. The first source came from DailyMail, and it was enough to make people assume it untrue. You don’t bother to correct it, because, after all, it is a rather private matter. And you need time to heal yourself.

So you make a few apology posts. A second email goes out with a $75 voucher for your merch, which is more than some of the tickets even were, but it seems reasonable. Sweatshirts and baseball caps and bracelets go out of stock within hours, and in a few days angry tweets change to ones of fans showing off what they’ve got.

You enjoy looking at them. Lying on the couch, head throbbing, your brightness so dim you have to squint to see what you’re scrolling through. You like a few, maybe type a comment, but eventually looking at your screen hurts your eyes even more. So you drop your phone onto your stomach, grumbling at your cousin to turn the lights down, and with a roll of her eyes she complies.

It’s been a painful week, and boring, as well. Your cousin comes over, the one who’d been watching your dog, and she talks to you for hours at a time. It’s easy to talk to her. It always has been, really.

“You know - this bodyguard, Ben -” and saying his name is just about painful. You swallow before continuing, pushing yourself up against the couch and swinging your legs over the edge. “We were a thing.”

She raises her eyebrows, looking up from her phone on the other side of the couch. Her eyes meet yours, narrowed in confusion, before nodding. “Well, I figured.”

“You -?”

“You talked to me about him a lot. And then not at all.” She leans over and rests her phone on the coffee table, hand stroking your dog in her lap. “Is it over?”

You haven’t told anyone. Intended to keep it a complete secret, hush hush, until you decided what to do. But you - you can’t - so you nod slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat, and mutter, “It’s over. He ended it. But there’s - I mean -”

“Mhm …”

“I’m pregnant.”

Saying it makes it so much real, and you draw your knees up to your chest. Rest your chin against them, shake your head slowly. And then you continue, “I’m pregnant, with his fucking baby, of course. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t -”

“Hey,” your cousin mutters, reaching over to grab your hands. There’s an instant flashback to the two of you as children, mere months apart, running through the park with your hands firmly clasped, and it’s some sort of comfort in this strange situation you’re forced in. “It’s okay. You know that. You’re gonna be fine.”

You roll your eyes without meaning to, and then you feel bad. “I just - it really doesn’t feel like I’m gonna be fine. This is a fucking problem.”

It’s something you can both agree with, at least. Your cousin raises her eyebrows, and then says, “Did you tell him?”

“Nope,” you respond, popping the p.

“You know you have to do that.”

“I don’t even know if I’m going to keep this thing. I don’t know.”

“He still has to know. Even if you decide not to keep it. He has to know.”

She’s fucking right. God, the asshole.

—————————

It takes a lot of Instagram stalking to figure out where Ben lives, and truthfully you’re a bit embarrassed by it. But you’d rather the internal embarrassment than the external type, by asking Ben where he lives, so you suffer in silence.

He doesn’t have an Instagram - statues generally don’t - but his best friend, Joe, does, and he posts religiously. At least three posts a week, and Ben takes up a lot of them. It makes your heart hurt, a bit, seeing Ben so beautifully carefree in some of these pictures -

A blurry shot of him and Joe on a boat -

A photo of him stuffing the largest cupcake you’ve ever seen into his mouth -

A video of the two of them doing the macarena at a party -

Because suddenly it feels like this is a whole new part of Ben, one you’ve never seen but Joe does. And the best friend is supposed to know more, you suppose, but you wish you could have stayed with Ben long enough to take silly videos and pictures with him.

It was all so secret.

When you scroll back down to 2016, there’s a group shot of four men - Ben and Joe among them and then two you don’t recognize - but their handles are tagged, and you click on the shorter stranger’s profile first (his name is just ramim, which, depending on what his name is, seems pretty straightforward.) It’s bare, two pictures and private, anyway, so you go back and click on the taller man’s profile. HIs username is gwilymlee, which is quite the name, and he has quite a few pictures.

Ben is in a few of them. Not enough, in your opinion, but you scroll down, eyes finding every picture with your blonde (ex?)bodyguard in them.

But then.

In 2016. A bright shot of Ben and Joe in front of an apartment building, the blonde holding a keyring with a positively overjoyed look on his face. It’s a building you know - one you’ve passed before - and you sit up just a bit straighter as you read the caption gwilymlee added.

New apartment for benny! Finally moved out of his parents’ basement!

Bingo!

You push your half eaten bowl of strawberries away from you, resting your elbows on the kitchen island and examining the picture more. You know where this fucking building is and you know how to get there and what if he is there? What if this is it?

Of course, there’s the chance that he doesn’t live there anymore. That he moved, perhaps. But there’s a feeling in your gut, the kind that feels like a handwritten letter from the universe herself, and you think it is his. His apartment, still. Think it might be fate. And you know you have to try to see if you’re right, at least.

Really, you try not to doll yourself up too much. You don’t want it to look like you put in effort to see him, but if you go looking like a total bum then perhaps he’ll think that the breakup destroyed you, and you can’t have that. So you settle - a pair of jeans and a hoodie - and a touch of makeup. Just enough, really. Then you punch the apartment building’s address into your maps and set off, positively determined and entirely too nervous.

In 23 minutes you’re there. Parked on the street outside, gazing up at the red brick building, with moss artistically climbing across the exterior walls - it’s positively beautiful and you’ve thought that since the first time you passed it. Always said it would be a dream to live here.

You press a hand to your stomach, over the soft cotton of your Billabong pullover. There’s nothing there. No movement. Not that you really expected there to be, but - well, maybe you thought the baby would be reacting to this life altering decision you’re going to discuss with Ben.

You’re stupid.

You climb out of your car, locking the doors before shoving the keys into your pocket, and slowly you walk up to the front doors, keeping your head down, gazing at the beige sidewalk beneath your feet. Your hands grasp the handle for the door - cold beneath your touch - and you pull it open, walking into the warm lobby of the apartment building.

There’s a mere receptionist at the desk, three couches, and an elevator, and you feel strangely claustrophobic in this space - but no, not claustrophobic, you don’t think. Maybe just uncomfortable. Ben has been here, once upon a time. Maybe today. Perhaps he has a friendship with this nice receptionist named Lola, or maybe he’s less partial to her.

You give her a smile and then a moment for her to recognize you, as always happens. And normally the moment of surprise bothers you, to an extent, but you appreciate it coming from Lola. Like watching her eyes widen, her lips part, and then she clears her throat and says, “Oh! Hi! What can I do for you?”

Freshly painted fingernails drum against her desk as you lean in, giving her a small smile before questioning in an ultra soft, sweet voice, “I was just wondering if you could tell me - I have a friend who I believe lives here. I thought, maybe, you could confirm the name for me?”

You’re not sure if this is against the rules for her to do, but Lola nods eagerly, dragging her fingers across her keyboard. “Of course! What’s her name?”

“Ben Jones,” you reply, watching her fingers fly across her keyboard. “He never really told me where he lived. And I really miss him.” It’s the truth but you don’t fucking know why you said it. To build a story, perhaps. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. Anyway, does he still live here?”

“Yes, he does,” Lola tells you, and your dumb heart skips a beat. “Unfortunately I can’t tell you what apartment he’s in, but -”

Whatever else she says goes unheard as the door opens again, and you turn around to look at who walked in -

“Oh!” your eyes widen and your cheeks heat up. “Joe. Hi.”

Joe is holding a bag filled with groceries - one of the fancy reusable ones from Wegmans that your mother always bugs you to use - and he looks only the smallest bit confused at you being there, in his best friend’s apartment building, but then he clears his throat and says, “Oh. Hi.”

Lola is forgotten as you take a deep breath before giving a smile to Joe. “Are you bringing those to Ben?” you question, nodding down at the groceries he’s holding.

“Yeah,” Joe nods, holding up the bag. “What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping to - um - visit Ben, actually.”

There’s a beat of silence. And then Joe clears his throat, turns to the receptionist and says, “Hi, Lola!”

“Hi, Joe,” Lola replies, and the absolutely uncomfortable situation is the tiniest bit rectified. “Going up to see Ben, I gather.”

“Yep.” Joe spares you a glance, walking to the elevator. “And I’m bringing her up with me.”

—————————

Ben’s apartment contains every ounce of personality that the man himself ever lacked - pictures on the walls, colorful furniture, a small dog jumping up on your thighs as Joe holds open the door for you to duck into. It’s small, you suppose, though nice - a small hall leads to the kitchen and living room, and it’s all open and nice, and you feel strangely choked up looking at it.

“What are you doing here?” Ben questions, drumming his fingers against his kitchen counter. You know the question, of course, is directed at you, and you can’t exactly explain it yet. Not with Joe here - unpacking the groceries he brought and setting them in their cabinets. It looks like he knows his way around the place, but considering he knew the receptionist by name - it isn’t shocking.

You brace your hands on the kitchen island and pull yourself up onto it, feet dangling as your eyes follow Joe’s path. “I’d love to tell you, really,” you begin, crossing your arms over your chest. Joe pauses in the middle of stuffing a second box of macaroni into a cabinet and meets your eyes, brows furrowed. You understand why Ben and Joe are friends, you think - they seem to balance each other out, in some sort of way. Joe is goofy where Ben seems to be serious. Opposites attract, you muse to yourself, in more ways than one. Ben just seems to be a magnet for the opposites. “Joe, would you be an absolute angel and mind giving us a few minutes alone?”

You’ll need more than a few minutes, but Joe doesn’t need to know that. Not right off the bat. You give him a smile and he sets the pasta down on the counter, giving Ben one final glance before making his way off down the hall. The front door opens and shuts and then your gaze snaps back to Ben, his hair messy with his sweatpants low on his hips, and you focus your eyes directly into his.

“Why are you here?” Ben asks again.

“You’re so blunt, Ben. Aren’t I allowed to visit you?” your voice is sweet and Ben sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. “Kidding. But, really, is it that much of a burden that I’m here?”

“It’s just -” he sighs slowly. “I don’t know.”

Your feet thumb against the island with every swing of your legs, cut short by the rhythmic bangs. “Alright, Benny. Something kind of bad is happening.” You pause. Gauge his reaction, and you can tell he’s trying to appear calmer than he is but his eyes give him away. “I wasn’t going to tell you, truthfully. And maybe that’s kind of fucked up, but I was planning on just handling it myself. But my cousin - I told you about her, I think - she told me I have to tell you, because otherwise that kind of makes me a bad person. Not in those words, of course, but the implication -”

Ben holds up a finger to silence you. “What is it, Y/N?”

Your heart beats hard against your chest, and your throat feels oddly dry, but you don’t want to give your nerves away. Not to him. And the worst he could do is - is reject you, not support you in your decision, whatever it is. But that wouldn’t be too different from not telling him at all, right? Which was the original plan. So you take a deep breath, and your feet thump thump thump against the island. “So, you remember when I was at the hospital.”

You’re only starting from that point to fuck with him. But he nods, crosses his arms, and you continue. “Well, the nurse had a - um - rather pressing health update to tell me about.”

In an instant, it seems, Ben is by your side, and you fight the urge to shift closer to him, so your thigh is touching his torso, but your eyes are slightly leveled when you turn and look at him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice rich with concern. “Are you sick, or -”

“Pregnant, actually.”

Watching his expression morph into a thousand different ones would be amusing if you weren’t slightly terrified of his response. But Ben goes from concerned to surprised, and then confused, and then he rolls his eyes and takes a step away from you.

“Oh, shut up,” he says, back to you, and your brows furrow in confusion. Ben turns back around, and his lips are spread into a humorless grin. “You’re not pregnant, Y/N.”

You press your palms against your thighs, exhaling a deep breath, and then you retort, “I promise, I am. Took three drugstore tests and made the hospital take another more official one. I was in denial, too, but I thought you should know. You know, being the dad and all.”

The last sentence - a metaphorical bomb dropped - sends Ben’s head flopping forward into his hands, and for a few minutes he doesn’t move. Just stands still, his face in his palms, and you sit atop of his kitchen island and wait.

Wait for him to get it together, you suppose. You need him to get it together, to talk to you about it, to maybe go outside and tell Joe that you guys are going to need a lot more time than a few minutes, because this conversation can’t be jammed into a time slot. It’s positively indefinite. And getting started on it - on decisions, decisions, decisions - can only occur when Ben fucking stands up and looks at you.

“I’m not too thrilled either, Benny.” it’s the only comforting words you can think of, and your feet still hit the island. It’s a nervous tick, you think. “I promise. But you’re - the dad - and this conversation has to happen. With you.”

“Oh, god,” is all Ben mutters in response, and then he moves his face up so that he’s looking at you - eyes peeking through his fingers, wide and bright. His face is oddly pale. “Please tell me you’re not kidding. Please. If you’re joking …”

“I’m not,” you promise, and then you hold your hand out to him. Stick your middle finger out. “Oops,” you mutter, replacing the middle finger with your pinky. “I swear. I swear I’m not kidding.”

Murmurs of oh god reach your ears, and you let your hand drop back down to the island. Your other hand presses over your stomach, just a comfort thing, and then you swallow. Watch him, still. Make out the way he reacts to this, because he seems just as shocked as you were.

At least he’s not hearing it from a nurse he’s never met five minutes after being broken up with and after being shot, you think, but that hardly seems fair.

Slowly you push yourself off of the island and take a step closer to Ben, reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulder. He doesn’t push you away and then you envelope him in a warm embrace, and he doesn’t necessarily reciprocate - too busy covering his face - but perhaps he feels comforted.

You do, at least.

“Hey.” you pull away and press your hands to his cheeks, pulling his head up. “Can we talk about this, Ben? Seriously?” He nods slowly, and his eyes look the tiniest bit watery. You hate to focus on it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Okay,” Ben says, and you furrow your eyebrows at the complete non-response. Then he drops his hands to his side, sighing, and then he grabs your wrist. It isn’t your hand but it’s close, and you hate the way your heart rolls in your chest at the feeling. The thump thump thump you still hear is no longer your feet but your heart, beat beat beating inside your body. “You know I’ll support you no matter what.”

And because you did know this - did know he’s a decent man - you smile slightly and reply, “I know.” You’d thank him but it hardly seems like an extraordinary sentiment. More like something he’s supposed to do. But men were unpredictable, really, because when your best friend had a pregnancy scare in high school, her boyfriend said that he’d never talk to her again if she didn’t get rid of it.

She wasn’t even pregnant. So you push down your pride and cough dryly. “Uh - thank you.”

Ben takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, gnawing on the soft pink skin, and you open your mouth to speak again when the apartment door opens again - you jump, turning to look at who walked in, and Joe pops his head into the kitchen.

“Are we done talking?” Joe asks, as if the incredibly intense conversation you’re having with Ben involves him at all. But he’s nice. You appreciate him, even if you hardly know him.

“It’s gonna be a while, Joey.” Ben motions for Joe to leave, and the ginger sighs, then gives the pair of you a smile. Perhaps he’s noticed your close proximity to each other. Maybe he thinks you’re getting back together - maybe he wants you to. Or maybe he’s just a friendly person.

Joe leaves, and you turn back to Ben.

“Look, sweetheart,” Ben begins, and the nickname forces your eyes to the floor. You don’t want him to see what that name still does to you. He can’t see the heat in your cheeks - the softness in your eyes. “Do you know what you want to do?”

There’s a pause. Then Ben adds, “Because - I mean - I’ll pay for any procedures. If that’s what you want to do.”

The language makes you cringe a little, and you take a few steps back so you’re leaning against the counter. Procedures. It’s certainly a possibility, and outweighing the other option at the present moment, but you hate - well - thinking about it. You nod slowly. “I’m not sure. I’m not sure what I want to do. I mean, it’s a fucking - a fucking baby, Ben. And I’m doing pretty well now, career-wise. I can hardly take a break to care for a baby. And you’re -”

But you don’t want to finish that last sentence. Don’t want to tell Ben what you’re thinking.

“What? What am I?” His voice isn’t rude, really, as if he suspects you were going to say something completely horrible, and you appreciate him for it.

“Not with me, I guess. I mean, doesn’t having split up parents constitute as a broken household? I don’t want to raise a baby in a broken household.”

Ben shakes his head. “You know I wouldn’t make you raise our kid on your own.”

“I know that, but -”

“I don’t think it’s a broken household, then.” he shakes his head, blonde hair swaying from side to side. “They’d be loved by both their parents, if you decide to keep them.”

You drum your nails against the marble island. “It doesn’t have to be broken at all, though.” And this is where you need to shut the hell up, but you can’t stop. “If I - we - whatever - decide to keep the baby, why couldn’t we raise it together? Together?”

Ben brings his thumb into his mouth, nibbling at his nail, and it takes him a moment to reply. Perhaps he’s wary of this subject. Has to choose his words carefully. “You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“This isn’t the time.”

“It’s as good a time as any. Let’s get all the painful conversations out of the way now.”

You think you should’ve kept your mouth shut, actually. But you’re going and going, and you can’t stop now. You need to hear what he has to say - hear it for yourself. Why have you been agonizing over this? The baby, the break up? You deserve some sort of closure, and he’s in the place to give it to you.

“I couldn’t protect you,” Ben speaks slowly, tongue darting out to run along his bottom lip. “And that scares the shit out of me, you know? Because I’m supposed to protect you. That’s my job.”

“Ben,” you interrupt. “That had nothing to do with being involved with me.” You hesitate. “Do you want to be with me?”

He opens his mouth immediately and then shuts it. Finally he clears his throat and says, “Yeah. I do. I really, really do. But I want to keep you safe more. And it’s hard when I’m - I’m distracted.”

It all sounds so fucking stupid. “You know, there were, like, a thousand guys who sent in applications to be my bodyguard.”

Ben raises his eyebrows. “Really? A thousand guys who wouldn’t have let you get shot in a fucking 7/11?”

“You didn’t let me, you know.” But that hardly seems the point of bringing the other applicants up. “You don’t have to be my bodyguard, Benny. If that’s really what’s stopping this from happening.”

There’s a heavy pause. The air feels thick around you, warm and constricting, and you shift slightly. You are entirely too hot, and you aren’t really sure why. It was so cold outside. Too cold, really. And you want to strip down to the bare dressing essentials right now.

Ben shakes his head, and a small, humorless smile tugs at his lips. “Let’s focus on the baby for now, yeah?”

—————————

Tomato sauce. Gnocchi. Sourdough bread.

It’s only three things, so you rolled your eyes when your cousin tried to write it down for you. I’m not an idiot, you know, you told her, and you’re still holding that sentiment strong in your mind.

You hate cooking, really. Your cousin, though, is a chef so she both loves and excels at it, and whenever she visits, she’s in charge of cooking duty. But you, though - you have to get the groceries and clean up and do the dishes. It’s an even price to pay for a good meal.

You have the pasta and the bread - perfectly firm, as your cousin told you - but the tomato sauces are a bit more tricky. Your cousin gets a specific brand, and she told you it so many times before you left the house but you can’t remember. God. You probably should’ve written it down. Your brain can’t handle all three things, apparently, and if that isn’t embarrassing.

u can’t already have pregnancy brain, your cousin replies when you text her asking for the brand confirmation. like ur barely pregnant. get it tf together.

look it isn’t my fault.

should i blame ben?

You shut off your phone and throw it into your basket. Well, fuck her. Pregnancy brain. Is that even a real thing? You feel just as smart - or not - as you were before you got pregnant.

You’ll just grab a random brand. If she gets mad at you for it then you’ll just throw it back at her for making fun of your pregnancy brain. But looking at all of the plastic containers full of bright red sauce, you can’t determine which is even the best to buy. And you could look at all of the brands but that’s so much work.

So you grab Prego. Just to give your cousin a little laugh.

Even looking at the word, though, makes you a bit nervous. Because you - haven’t really thought about what to do with the pregnancy. And you’ve talked to Ben since then but they’ve done little to make your mind up. Dropping the Prego sauce into your basket, you turn and make your way to the checkout, mind returning to the overdriven state it hardly seems to leave.

Sometimes you wish you could just get a break. Go back to before you knew about this. To when you still had Ben and not a care in the world, unaware of the baby, unaware of the impending bullet and breakup.

Time travel doesn’t exist. You can’t go back. Only forward. And that’s fine. You like to think everything will work out in the end, anyway.

Aisle number 5 has the least people while still being open. Giant never has open aisles so it’s between 5 and 9, and there’s a line at 9. Only one woman at 5, pushing a cart full of snacks, and in the cart is -

“Well, hi, cutie.”

Your voice has morphed into an ultra sweet, soft voice that’s reserved for your baby nieces and nephews and little cousins, and the small, pale baby sitting in the cart seems to enjoy it. She looks up at you with a smile, mouth containing one growing-in baby tooth, and her baby blue eyes are wide.

“Her name is Ella,” her mom says to you from where she’s standing, placing her groceries into the same reusable bag that Joe used for Ben. (Kind of makes you feel like shit for not using that bag, but whatever.) Her hair is dark, tied into a ponytail, but her eyes have the same bright blue hue of her daughter. “Ella Grace, legally, but we all call her Ella.” Then the woman’s eyes meet yours, and a slow smile spreads across her face. “I know you, I think. Are you famous?”

Heat spreads through your cheeks, and you smile a little. Poke Ella Grace’s cheeks. “Um, kind of. I don’t know.”

“You’re modest,” Ella Grace’s mom says, pausing in the middle of stuffing a third bag of Lays potato chips into her bag. “My stepdaughter has a poster of yours in her room.”

“Oh,” you murmur, moving your hands in front of your eyes and then waiting a few seconds before pulling away. “Peek-a-boo!” You watch as Ella’s face lights up, and then she giggles loudly. “You’re such a sweetie, aren’t you, Miss Ella?”

Her mom grins at you, setting her bag in her cart. “She’s a sweetie now, but when no one else is around she’s a demon.” She maneuvers her way to the front of her cart and leans down to kiss the top of Ella’s head, and the baby gurgles in response. “You’re such a natural. Has anyone told you that before?”

Your stomach flips dramatically, and you swallow slowly. Begin setting your groceries onto the conveyor, and they move towards the entirely-unbothered cashier slowly. “No, haven’t really heard that before.”

“Well, you definitely are.” She begins pushing her cart away, and small pale fists reach out to grab the air near you. “See? Ella loves you.” The woman pauses and turns back to look at you. “My stepdaughter will never believe it. Really, she won’t.”

“Tell her I love her,” you hear yourself saying, but you’re not focused on it. Feel clammy and cold, all of a sudden. The woman bids farewell and leaves, and you shakily pull out $30 from your wallet and hand it to the cashier. Your total is less than $20 but the guy looks like he could use the extra cash, and you can’t stand to watch him pick out your change. You just grab your plastic bag, give him a smile, and walk as fast as you can out to the parking lot.

A car passes you - a black Toyota. The woman, Ella’s mom, waves at you from the driver’s seat, and you grin at her. As soon as she passes the smile melts off your face, and you grab your keys from the pocket of your windbreaker and unlock your car door as fast as you can.

When you’re in your car, heat turned up as high as it can go - for wind and for white noise - you let your head fall against the seat, a tear trickling its way down your cheek. You sniffle pathetically, bringing your wrist up to wipe away the evidence of your stress and sadness and anger - and all you can think about is Ella.

You’re a natural.

You reach into your pocket, where you’d stuffed your phone before ditching your basket, and unlock it with shaky fingers. Hot air surrounds you and it’s just about suffocating, but you’re unbothered. Just open up your text messages, look at your eighth most recent - simply named benny - and type out a text as fast as you can manage.

i’m keeping the baby. i have to.

And the response is lightning fast, as if Ben had been waiting for your text.

You know I’ll support you no matter what.

I love you more than anything.

And your fingers fly across the screen as you type your reply.

you know i do too.

Then, can i come over? really quick.

You’re always welcome here.

—————————

When Ben answers the door you get barely a moment to look at him before you’re being smushed into his chest, his arms tight around you, and it feels like home.

Your eyes are watery and the tears stain his light grey t-shirt, and you throw your arms around his torso. Squeezing him so tight it feels like he could burst and being in his arms is so great. God, you never want to leave. Never mind your cousin waiting for you or the things you have to do in life. You want to stay forever.

“You’re okay,” Ben mumbles, resting his chin on top of your head. His hand rubs circles into your back, slow and smooth. “It’s all going to be fine, alright? We’re gonna be parents.”

“I know,” you choke out, hiccuping. “I can’t - I have to keep it, Benny.”

His lips press against your head and then he pulls away, placing his hands on your arms to steady you, and you bring your wrist up to wipe at your eyes. “Alright.” And you can tell he’s struggling with what to say - you are, too - so he moves his hands down your arms. Grabs your hands, and his palms are warm and soft. “I’ll support you until the end of time, sweetheart.”

Another tear slips down your cheek but you refuse to move your hands first - squeeze his tighter, really. Then you clear your throat, mumble, “Sorry for showing up.” Because - really - it’s getting later, now, nearly 7. And you don’t consider that late by anyone’s standards, but what if he was getting ready for bed? Or preparing to go out with Joe and those other two guys on Instagram? “Didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

Ben smiles humorlessly. “I wasn’t doing anything. Just watching a movie, probably.” His eyes fall down to your joined hands, as if he’s just realized the physical connection between the two of you. You prepare for him to drop your hands, fast and sharp as if they burned him, but he doesn’t. Just squeezes tighter. “Is your cousin waiting for you?”

“How did you know I’m going home to my cousin?”

“You’re always going home to your cousin.” His face is a shade too red and his eyes look watery, and you feel slightly bad. “You talked about her a lot.”

On tour is the forgotten next part of that sentence. You don’t, surprisingly, want to think about your time with him now. Just want to focus on this.

Stay in the present, you think. The future, maybe. But not the past. It’s all you can do to move on from there, with this fucking baby and - and Ben.

—————————

i’m giving you a hypothetical situation here.

After sending the text to Ben, you rest your phone on the couch in front of you. Your house feels too empty, the lack of people you live full-time with suddenly overwhelming - your cousin is over a lot and so are some friends but, really, you just have your dog besides that. And he’s lazy, constantly wanting to lie on top of you and nap.

You’d been fine with that before, but at 15 weeks pregnant you’ve started pushing him off of you when he tries to rest in your lap. Your stomach is beginning to show, a small bump that goes unnoticed when you wear baggy clothes. You’re always hyper-aware of it, though. Worried that your dog will hurt the baby.

So your dog is ignoring you, now. Offended that you won’t let him stretch out over your body for hours at a time.

It just makes the loneliness worse. Even if you have a person attached to you at all times.

Alright. Hypothetical situation. Go.

if i was extremely desperate for nutella, and i was all out of nutella, would you get me some and bring it to my house?

A text bubble appears right away, indicating that he’s typing, and then it goes away.

Haha.

I can bring you nutella.

Wait, this is hypothetical, isn’t it?

it doesn’t have to be!! my address is 2275 sawyer street.

You throw your phone onto the couch with a grin, settling back against it with your eyes on the TV. Pretty Woman plays, a favorite movie of yours, and you hate not paying attention to it.

Even if you can recite every line by heart.

What if, by chance, you notice something new about the movie you’ve watched a hundred times? You can never be so sure.

After 10 minutes your phone rings, and it’s Ben - you let it play out for a few seconds and then answer it, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” Ben says, and you can hear rain softly pattering, both through the phone and from the outside. “Hey, I’m driving around your neighborhood, and I have no fucking idea how to get to your house.”

You smile slightly. “There’s a pretty long driveway.”

“Yeah, but where does it start?”

You sit up, put the phone on speaker, and lean over to rest it on the coffee table. “Look, I know exactly where you are, because everyone gets caught up in the same area.”

He pauses. “Seems like a confusing house to have.”

“Well, it’s more private, you know?”

“Private, secret, whatever. Just tell me how to get there.”

“Alright, so …”

After a minute of explaining exactly how to find your house - an explanation you’ve given more times than you can count - Ben hangs up with the promise of arriving in less than 2 minutes, and you push yourself up off the couch. Reach for the remote and pause your movie, and then you head down the hall towards the front door.

There’s a knock after a couple of seconds and you lean your head close to the door, calling out in a mocking, sing-song voice, “Who is it?”

There’s laughter from the other side. “I have your Nutella.”

You unlock the door and swing it open, coming face to face with Ben. In his hands is a plastic grocery bag, and through the sheer material you can see the Nutella label, staring you right in the face.

“God, Benny, you’re an angel.” you grab the bag and peek inside - three fucking containers of it, and you can nearly moan at the sight. “You know, I’d hate to be doing this with anyone else. I can’t think of a single person who would go out and get me Nutella at 9 at night, but here you are.”

“You can count on me, sweetheart,” Ben tells you, and you take a step backwards into the foyer. He lingers outside, a hand braced on the doorframe. “You know, your house is pretty big.”

You shrug. “I’d call it average size.”

“Always so modest.”

You look up, eyes meeting his, and then a smile spreads across your face. “You can come in, you know. I wasn’t planning on having this be a drop-off situation, but if you wanna go, then …”

Ben is inside before you finish the offer, shutting the door behind him and blowing warm air into his palms. You pad off back down the hall and into the living room, Pretty Woman paused right on the scene where Vivian is going shopping for clothes and gets kicked out of a store. Your favourite in the movie, really - though it does tend to make you quite sad, and even more when you watch it now.

“Hey, turn around real quick.”

At Ben’s voice you pause and then turn, brows furrowed. “What -”

“I didn’t realize you were starting to show.”

You look down at your stomach, the tiny swell of the baby clear in your tight tank top. “Oh. Guess I am.” Pause. “Barely, though. Soon I’ll grow more, probably too much, really.”

“Yeah, probably,” Ben replies as you turn back again to the living room. You throw the bag onto the couch and then flop onto the cushions, sinking into it. “When did that start?”

“A week or two ago.” You pause as Ben leans against the wall, watching as you dig through the bag to grab one of the containers of Nutella. “Believe me here, Benny. You weren’t purposely left out of the loop. My cousin said I have pregnancy brain already, but I don’t think that even exists. Can you grab a spoon from the kitchen? I swear, I’m not trying to be a pain in the ass here.”

Ben dutifully turns towards the kitchen and returns a minute later. He sits next to you and then hands over the metal spoon, and you untwist the top of one of the Nutella containers and dig the spoon into the sweet snack.

There’s a moment of silence - broken only by the movie - and then Ben says, “I wanna know about these kind of things, Y/N.”

You look at him, lapping the Nutella off the spoon. Your brows furrow - truthfully you hadn’t thought it was a very big deal, starting to show. It just seemed like something that was bound to happen. Nothing special. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Ben tells you. He stretches his arm over the back of the couch, eyes on the television screen. “I just want to hear about the pregnancy. Developments and everything.”

“Alright.” you hesitate, digging your spoon back into the Nutella jar. “I mean - I am sorry. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, that’s all.”

“I mean, it isn’t, really. It’s just important to me.”

There’s an easy fix for this, you want to say. What if we move in together? What if we get together? You’d probably notice the bump before I do, Benny.

Ben looks at you and then moves his arm so it’s around your shoulders, and you practically melt into his touch. “I didn’t mean to make you feel shitty about it, you know,” he tells you.

You shake your head, curls brushing his nose as your head moves. “I don’t feel shitty. I’ll tell you about everything. Promise. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night and vomit my guts out into the toilet.”

He nods slowly, fingertips tickling the side of your arm. You take another spoonful of Nutella, pressing your head against his shoulder and trying to pay attention to the movie, but it’s hard, now. Because this feels quite a lot like cuddling, and it messes with your emotions quite a bit for Ben to be instigating cuddling with you. But after a moment Ben urns to look at you with a small grin tugging at his lips. “Now, how often does that happen? Should I be concerned?”

—————————

“How much money are you putting into the betting pool?”

Ben rolls his eyes, shutting the pamphlet he’d been reading and shoving it into his pocket. He has a stack of them shoved into the pocket of his sweatshirt - the waiting room had a variety of them and Ben took one of each.

He leans close, mouth right by your ear. He’s standing beside the table you’re seated on, his hand braced beside you. There’s no one else in the room with you but he still keeps his voice down, as if he’s wary of the doctor coming in and hearing your conversation. “I’m not putting money into guessing the baby’s gender, Y/N.” The last syllable of your name breaks off into a laugh, and you throw your head back with a giggle.

“Alright, alright. I’m just saying, Benny, I know it’s a girl.” you lower your voice, reaching into his sweatshirt pocket to grab one of the pamphlets. You unfold it and hold it in front of your face, and Ben bursts into laughter. “Shut up! Nothing’s funny!”

Ben rests his head against your shoulder, and you lean towards him, pressing your bodies impossibly closer despite the barrier between your seats. “And I know it’s a boy. I can feel it.” As a point he reaches in and presses his hand against your 20 week stomach. “See? That’s a boy.”

“That’s a girl.”

“This is why I want to make a bet.”

“And I refuse to bet on what sex my baby is gonna be.”

You cross your arms and huff pointedly. Ben picks his pamphlet back up and traces his finger along the page. You reach behind you and pull your phone out of your pocket, opening up Instagram. You have notifications - the result of a selfie posted earlier that’s already reached 700,000 likes - and you scroll through your homepage absentmindedly. Angry tweets and Instagram callouts have subsided dramatically in the past few months and you’ve been on your merch team to get all of the products out in record-breaking time - makes it so that people can’t get mad at you for it anymore.

Or, they can, but most people consider it unreasonable.

The door opens abruptly, and you shove your phone back into your back pocket, sending the doctor a wide grin. “Hello, Dr. Green!” you chirp, voice unnaturally high, and you pray that’s the correct name.

“Hello, Y/N. Ben.” Dr. Green is a sweet lady, short with dark hair, and she always seems happy. You appreciate it - appreciate the enthusiasm at your pregnancy. Her excitement at every new development marks the difference between a good doctor and a great one, you think. “It’s just a routine checkup - you know the drill by now, right?”

You and Ben nod in unison, and you reach for his hand on the table. He takes it, intertwining your fingers, and Dr. Green smiles at the pair of you.

You lie back onto the table, pulling your shirt up over your stomach as Dr. Green spreads some of the gel over your bump - it’s always cold, no matter how prepared you pretend to be for it. It’s always a surprise. Your eyes turn to the screen, your thumb rubbing the back of Ben’s hand, and you squint at the screen until you can make out the vague shape of your baby. And it’s -

Overwhelming.

Previously it had been hard to really make out the baby but now you can see it, make out its features. And it seems real.

LIke it’s really happening.

Dr. Green points at different parts of the screen, a manicured nail tapping against the hard surface. “You can see the eyes, here - look, this is the head. You see?”

Your eyes go glassy as you gaze at the screen, squeezing Ben’s hand. “Yeah. There he is, Benny,” you grin, looking up at Ben, and he rolls his eyes.

“She. There she is.”

Dr. Green’s eyes dart between you two, and then she asks, “Would you two like to know the baby’s sex? We’re far enough along that we can tell, and the baby appears to be in the right position.”

Ben says, “Oh, we definitely do,” at the same time as you nod furiously, hair swaying with every movement of your head. “Please,” you tell the doctor, pushing yourself onto your elbows to look at the screen. “We’ve kind of been fighting about it.”

The doctor smiles, raising her eyebrows. “I heard,” she murmurs. “Are you putting money on it?”

You turn and mockingly glare at Ben. “I wanted to, but Benny here thought it was immoral, or something.”

“Because it is,” Ben argues, “I don’t want to win money because of what sex my baby is.”

Then Dr. Green asks, “So, Ben, you think it’s a girl, correct?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, then, if this were a bet, I’d have to say that you -” Dr. Green moves the probe around your stomach, and then points again at the screen. You squint to see what you’re meant to be looking at. “You, Ben, would be winning money.”

It takes you a moment to process what she said, and your eyes widen.

Rewind. What?

You glance up at Ben, and you find that your vision is blurry as you look at him - from what?

Are those tears?

“Oh, my god,” Ben breathes, eyes fixed on the screen, and then he collapses into the chair beside your bed. “Oh my god.”

“Are you serious?” your mouth falls as you stare at Dr. Green, a smile spread across her face. “It’s a girl? You’re serious?”

“I’m 100% serious. You two are going to have a baby girl.”

Ben pulls your intertwined hands up to his face, pressing his lips to the back of your hand before losing it - his face drops and you can make out tears falling down his cheeks. You laugh a bit, leaning over and trying to wrap your arm around him, but it’s a bit difficult.

After a moment Ben looks up at you, and his face is red, eyes watery. “Oh my god, Y/N. We’re going to have a daughter.”

You look back up at the screen, hiccuping and giggling at the same time. “I know. A baby girl. I mean, you’re positive, right?” The last part is directed at the doctor, and she grins as she nods. “Holy shit. Holy shit.” You reach up and press your hand against the screen, as if it’s the equivalent of touching your daughter in real time. “Can we have copies of this?”

You’re positive you’ll never be able to capture the emotions you’re feeling now ever again, but having copies of it - well, it’ll be the perfect way to remember it. And when Dr. Green prints you two copies of the sonogram (and then a third and a fourth, for Joe and your cousin, you tell her, because Ben has been rendered incapable of speaking) you clutch it in your hands, eyes unable to leave the blurry picture of your daughter inside of you.

—————————

You gave Ben a key to your house the week you found out the baby’s sex.

And it really did seem like a great idea. You gave it to him and then marked it with a small, pink, heart shaped sticker, and Ben made a show of hooking it onto the same keyring he has his apartment key on.

In turn he gave you the key to his apartment. You put it in your pocket and have since lost it, but he doesn’t know that.

Now, though - giving him a key has started to seem like a really horrible idea.

Your fingers tweak at your nipples, peaked in the cool air of your bedroom - the window is open, sending the early morning breeze straight into your room. Your other hand works at your cunt, pumping one finger in and out of yourself, palm of your head rubbing against your sensitive clit.

Soft moans are like a mantra off your lips, and you squeeze your eyes shut. If you think hard enough, work your mind enough, you can trick yourself into imagining that your fingers aren’t your own.

Ben’s are larger, you decide. You add another finger to the one that’s fucking into your pussy, and you let out a louder cry at the feeling. When you curl your fingers just right - the way Ben knows how to, better than anyone you’ve ever been with - it brushes against your G-spot.

Ben was a master at finding it. You’re even better.

Your back arches up, and you bring your hand from your tits down to your pussy. Your two fingers rub desperate circles into your clit, and you swallow a mouthful of air.

“Fuck,” you hiss, tilting your head back into your entirely-too-soft pillow. And your mind goes back to the man you wish were here with you - the one you want, the one whose fingers you’re desperate for - and you cry out, “Fuck, Ben -”

“Fuck.”

The voice isn’t yours, and you sit up, panic flashing through your mind - bright red sirens, blaring around your mind, and you pull your sheets up over your body, naked except for your panties.

And - Ben is there. His cock is straining against his sweatpants, and in between his two fingers is the pink heart decorated key you gave him.

“Oh my god.” your voice is soft and you swallow thickly. “Ben. Hi.”

“I didn’t know you -”

“I’m fucking sorry -”

“Don’t be, I walked in -”

You squeeze your eyes shut and lean your head back, feeling a prickling behind your eyes - you’re needy and embarrassed and you have an unbelievable urge to rip Ben’s clothes off, because he’s so fucking hard and you were almost there.

You almost came from the thought of him.

“Ben,” you interrupt him, and he leans against the door, pushing his keys into the pocket of his sweatpants. “Ben, I’m really fucking - horny.”

He hesitates. “I see.”

“And I really, really miss you. And your - appendages.” You push yourself up so you’re kneeling, sheets falling down over your chest, stopping just above your stomach. “Please. Benny, please.”

“Sweetheart -”

“Please. Oh my god, Ben, I fucking need you.” you clasp your hands together as if you’re begging, and in a way you certainly are.

You can see Ben’s mind whirring - your eyes pointedly trail down to the bulge in his sweatpants, and then back up to his eyes, and then Ben lunges at you.

His lips meet yours and it’s frantic - desperate - everything you’ve been missing for the past six months, nearly. Your hands tangle in his hair and pull him down to you, and eventually the two of you lie on your sides, mouths not moving from each other’s.

It’s different, completely different, from how it was. His hand goes to your stomach, resting on top of the bump as his lips move against yours. You whimper into his mouth, and Ben groans as your hand trails down to the bulge in his sweatpants.

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart,” Ben grunts as your nails drag across his boner. “Six fucking months I’ve been wanting this, you know that?”

You pull away, attaching your lips to the underside of his jaw. “You know you could have had me. I was fucking desperate for you, Benny.”

“Mmm, well … I figured.”

You move your head away from him, furrowing your brows. “Awfully conceited.”

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting said that a lot of women have spiked sexual libidos during pregnancy.” You push Ben onto his back and throw a leg over his thigh, straddling his waist, your panty clad cunt pressed against his dick. “And - oh, fuck. I’ve missed this, sweetheart.”

You try not to wear your emotions on your sleeve but it’s hard - your heart swells and your cheeks heat up, and then you rock your hips against his once.

Try not to let him know how much you’ve missed this.

The pair of you have all the time in the world, really, but you can’t move fast enough. You grind your cunt against his rock hard erection, desperate for him to be inside of you, to be full of him again and he hisses, hand trailing behind you to land one firm smack on your ass. He grins as you yelp at the sensation.

Ben reaches down and tugs your underwear away, and your hands go to the ties of his sweatpants, undoing the small knot with deft, shaking fingers. You tug his pants down over his cock and it’s - it’s so much bigger than you remember.

He’s achingly hard, his cock swollen and purple at the tip, and when you wrap your hand around the base he lets out a soul-wrenching moan. His hands go to your hips, massaging your sides as you adjust yourself so you’re sitting just above his cock, positioning yourself above him before sinking down.

“Oh, fuck!”

He is bigger than you remembered, and it just about fucking hurts, having him inside of you. You throw your head back and cry out, feeling breathtakingly full after months of only your fingers. Ben moans loudly, fingernails digging into your sides, and you’re sure it’s just as surprising for him as it is for you.

“You’re so fucking tight. Oh my - god.” Ben’s face is coated in sweat and you bring your hands down to his cheeks, wiping some of it away before leaning down to kiss him sloppily. “Feel so good around me. I fucking missed this, sweetheart.”

“I missed it - I missed you,” you breathe. And you’ve seen him so much, still, in these past months, but it’s different. You know it is. Being around him and being with him are two separate planes of existence and you’ve been stuck on the former for six fucking months. 24 weeks. “I needed you so bad.”

Ben’s hands on your hips help you work your way up and down, and you just want to lie down and let him fuck you but that’s - not necessarily a possibility, now. Not with your girl inside of you, restricting your movement in that way.

(You wouldn’t give her up for the world.)

His thumb presses into your clit, rubbing circles into it with an achingly slow pace as you try to maintain steady rhythm, bouncing up and down, rock n’ rolling your hips against his. You brace your hands on his chest for leverage, lifting yourself up off of him and then back down, and with every movement, mixed with his hips bucking up into yours, that perfect spot inside of you is hit.

Again and again.

You were so close when he started and you topple over the edge within minutes, cumming desperately, seeing the night sky behind your eyes. Stars align your vision and it’s so beautiful, so great, all you want to see. That ball of pressure builds up in your core and explodes, again and again.

“Fuck,” you moan out, voice strangled and throaty, and you finally have to stop moving - admit defeat - because your legs are exhausted and you’re completely emotionally and physically overwhelmed, and really, you’re not sure that this isn’t some crazy dream you’ve made up in your mind, anyway. “Wait -”

And you detach yourself from him. Ben cries out and you resist the urge to grin at the noise, how needy he is for you, how much he’s wanted this. You roll onto your side and Ben follows, his chest pressed against your back, and with this new position he re enters you.

It’s different - you’ve never tried this before, even in your hypersexual relationship in the pre-gunshot, pre-break up, pre-baby days. He wraps his arm around your body, fingers rubbing at your clit again and you know you’ll be reaching your second orgasm at the hands of the man you’re so fucking in love with it physically hurts.

Every time your lungs fill with oxygen Ben tears it away - short moans escape your body as he fucks you, mixed with the firm circles on your sensitive nub, and you lean your head back into your shoulder. Ben tilts his head so he can press his lips to yours in the messiest kiss you’ve had, but it’s perfect. It’s all you wanted - no, needed - and your eyes water just at the feeling.

“Want me to cum inside of you?” The question is fucking stupid, because you’re already pregnant - there’s nowhere else you’d rather him cum except for inside of you, filling you up again. His other hand works at your sensitive breasts, tweaking your nipples so they’re peaked in the cold air. Even with the sweat that drips down your body you’re fucking freezing, and it reminds you of that first night you spent together.

(And you swear this is the most passionate sex you’ve ever had.)

You nod, thick mane of curls tickling his nose, and Ben buries his face into your locks. He presses his body close to yours and finally lets himself fucking erupt, releasing a strangled moan. Thick spurts of hot cum coat your inner walls and you sob out, squeezing your eyes shut, and the feeling of his cum inside of you after so long sends you over for the second time. Your chest rises and falls with desperate, heaving breaths, and you suck in air until you’re coughing.

Ben buries his head into your shoulder, his breathing just as desperate as yours. And the pair of you don’t speak - can’t, at least in your case - and you try not to think about any of it. The break up, the future, the past. Just let yourself live in the moment, in Ben’s arms, until exhaustion chases you into a dream filled sleep.

—————————

When you wake up Ben is gone.

You’re not sure what you expected, but he hasn’t answered your texts in three weeks. You told him that you have to talk, and that you should be getting started on the nursery as you approach 7 months, and the read receipts mocks you.

You hate being the one to double text. It only seems necessary.

you can’t fucking ignore me benjamin.

Read.

we’re adults. we’re having a fucking kid. this isn’t right.

Read.

what did i do?

Read. Read. Read. Read.

You find the key to his apartment in your car and you debate going to pay him a visit but you decide - foolishly, perhaps, and for the sake of your pride alone - that you want him to find you first. To seek you out.

You’re not really sure if you’re being the adult or the child here. Maybe both. Maybe neither. You’re just being you, and as you get further along you find that it’s the easiest thing to be.

—————————

At 7 months you find yourself getting a bit panicked about the Ben situation. He hasn’t texted you nor sought you out yet, and you can’t help but think that this is it. Unconditional support has found its end. You and Ben are done, and he’s gone.

Wouldn’t be the first man in your life to do that, but with a child on the way?

(Still not the first man.)

It’s a heavy cloud weighing down on you, raining on your parade wherever you go. LIke sitting at a restaurant with your cousin, picking at your lo mein with a permanent lump in your throat.

And she looks at you, brows furrowed, bringing her hand in front of your face to snap twice. Regain your attention. “Are you alright?”

No, you want to say. I think I fucked everything up. And you didn’t, you have to remind yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t know what the fuck is happening with Ben but - but what did you do? To deserve what he’s doing?

So you smile at your cousin. “I’m fine.” The baby moves inside of you. “She’s crazy, I swear. Wanted Japanese and now she’s freaking the fuck out at the thought of it.” And that’s a lie. You’re so hungry for the noodles you could fucking scream, but you also think you drank your lemonade too fast.

You shove your phone into the pocket of your jacket and stand, giving your cousin a smile before turning and walking towards the bathrooms. It’s a small corner of the restaurant - two doors, marked with a small man and a small woman, and you lean against the wall by the women’s restroom.

Breaaaaathe.

It’s hard. You open your phone and look at your texts, as if expecting to see a response from Ben that you’d somehow missed but it isn’t there. Of course it isn’t. You’d know. You’ve only been checking it obsessively for weeks, desperate for him to reach out and apologize for the shit he’s been pulling.

And there’s nothing.

He doesn’t fucking care.

It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t.

You put your phone away and look up, shock flowing through your veins. “Joe -?”

The ginger looks up from his own phone, and your eyes meet.

“Oh!” And he looks genuinely happy to see you. It’s - it’s so good. So nice, that he looks as if running in to you is some miraculous experience. When have you last felt that from someone? “Y/N! Hi!”

“Hi, Joe,” you smile, and then your mind connects the dots - Joe - Ben’s best friend - Ben who won’t talk to you -

And then you take a step forward, hugging your jacket closer around your body, and ask, “Have you spoken to Ben lately? By chance?”

Joe furrows his eyebrows and takes his bottom lip in between his teeth - the way Ben does. You wonder if one of them picked it up from each other, or if it’s just a coincidence. “I … I have. And I heard about your, uh, situation with him.”

“You have?” You tilt your head, smiling. “Can you explain it to me?”

“What?”

“Ben hasn’t texted me in nearly a month,” you tell Joe, and you don’t want to be getting angry but you can feel the heat flowing through your veins. It isn’t Joe’s fault, you tell yourself. “I don’t know what I did. I mean - well, if he told you, then don’t you know why I’m being fucking shunned?”

Oops. You hadn’t meant to slip the f-word in there. Sometimes it just wiggles its way into your thoughts.

Joe hesitates, and then says, “I think he’s scared.”

“Scared?”

“I don’t know. That’s what he told me. He said he was scared.”

I’m scared too, you want to say. You want to yell it. Your phone feels like a fire lit in your pocket, all of a sudden, and you want to throw it on the ground until it fucking smashes. You want to shake Joe - no, Ben - until he understands, understands that everything he’s feeling is amplified for you. And you’re fucking furious about it. But you can’t take this out on Joe. It isn’t his fault.

You swallow. Take a deep breath. “Okay.” You need to think about what to say. Because now there’s - a prickling behind your eyes, and you can feel the tears on their way, and if you cry in front of Joe you’ll never forgive yourself. “Can you tell him to call me?” And, fuck, your voice cracks on the very last syllable. “Please. That’s - I just really, really need him to call me, okay?”

Your eyes are watery and you sniffle pathetically. Joe nods - you see that - and then he steps forward, wrapping his arms around you, and you let yourself fall into his embrace.

It doesn’t matter that he’s practically a stranger.

It doesn’t matter that you’re waiting for the bathrooms at a random Japanese restaurant.

All that matters is this. The comfort. The silent promise of some sort of remedy for whatever’s been going on with Ben. Joe can help.

You trust him on that.

—————————

The doorbell rings as soon as your cousin drops you off at home - you’ve kicked off your sneakers and ripped off your jacket and then there it is.

Ring.

You grip the doorknob with a sweaty hand, swallowing thickly before calling to the other side of the door, “Who is it?”

There’s a pause. And then, “It’s me.”

So you open the door. Come face to face with Ben, his hair messy, and every bit of your anger evaporates at the sight of him.

Ben takes a step inside and shuts the door behind him, and then you throw your arms around his shoulders. He presses his hands against your back, and even if your stomach is in the way it’s fine - feels good. Good to have him back.

“I’m so sorry,” Ben mumbles into your hair. His voice is muffled by your locks and you tighten your grip on him. A silent it’s okay, even if it isn’t. It will be. “I should’ve never - fuck. I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart. I love you so much.” He pauses. “I’m not your bodyguard anymore. I quit. I had to. You know - you know I had to.”

You pause. Pull away, brace your palms on his cheeks. It’s what you’ve needed to hear - all you’ve ever wanted to. It all feels so fucking right - the relationship you’ve needed, the baby you’re going to have, the future you can foresee.

“Fuck, Benny. I love you,” you tell him. “I love you so much.”

And then you lean up, press your lips to his, and you work your way further into the house. There’s no better place to start making up for lost time like the present, you moan into the cool air, and he throws his head back and laughs, the small distraction breaking his focus away from suckling a hickey into your inner thigh. Just like how he used to.

—————————

“You know, we should do one of those things where we put her name up on the wall above her crib in - like - block letters, or something.”

You push yourself on the rocking chair in the corner of the future-nursery, watching as Ben works at the crib on the ground. You haven’t bothered yourself with helping too much - at least, not with the heavy-duty, manual labour type of shit - but the decorations have been perfected because of you.

It’s a beautiful room. You and Ben spent weeks agonizing over how to do it and you finally think you’ve nailed it - white walls and a grey crib, carpet so soft that your feet sink right into it. You picked out the rocking chair, too. Same shade of grey as the crib, and adorned with a pink pillow and a dozen of stuffed animals that have been evicted to the ground so you could sit.

“That’s a good idea,” Ben tells you, squinting his eyes to read the instructions for setting up the crib. “We don’t have a name, though.”

You hum. Not officially, you don’t - haven’t gotten around to that conversation - but you certainly have ideas. “Well, let’s get on it, then. Wanna hear my ideas?”

Ben grins. “Sure, sweetheart.”

“Alright!” you clap your hands together and then fish your phone from your pocket. You turn it on and flick to your notes app, scrolling until you find the list of names you’d put together. “Starting from my favourites and going down. Evangelina, Charlotte, Madeline -”

“They’re long.”

“Well, long names can get cute nicknames, you know? Anyway … Madeline, Caroline, Genevieve, Adaline …”

Ben holds up a finger, and you stop reciting your list. “I like Genevieve a lot.”

“Really?” you tilt your head to the side. “Because that’s closer to the bottom of my list, really.”

He laughs, turning so that he’s looking at you. “Well, I like it more than the others. I don’t know a lot of girls named Genevieve, either.”

You lean your head back, pushing your foot off of the ground to rock yourself a bit more. You shut your eyes, rest a hand on your stomach and think - Genevieve. You certainly like it or else it wouldn’t have been there in the first place - and it presents the nickname Evie, which you dubbed as the ideal nickname for Evangelina, your first choice.

“Hypothetically,” you begin, and Ben mockingly rolls his eyes. “If we named her Genevieve, what would her middle name be?”

“Does she need one?”

“It seems right.”

Ben pauses, looking away from the instructions he’d been trying to comprehend. “I don’t know. Marie?”

You groan. “Something less basic, would you?”

“Then what about Charlotte? That’s cute, isn’t it? And I know you like it.”

The name flies around your head - Genevieve Charlotte Jones - and then a tiny grin tugs at your mouth. You nibble on your bottom lip and then bring your thumbnail up to your mouth.

Ben glances up at you, gauging your reaction to the suggestion. “What do you think?”

You push yourself off of the chair and kneel down beside your boyfriend, leaning in to press a firm kiss to his lips. “I love it. I love it so much, and I love you so much.”

—————————

Hitting the nine month mark is surprising and unsettling and it certainly shouldn’t be. Almost every mother gets to this point - where, as Dr. Green says, it’s any day now. But you feel special for it - feel an amount of pride, especially when you walk into the nursery and look at the nine letters spelling out your daughter’s name, right above her crib.

Hitting the nine-month-and-one-week mark is normal and it doesn’t bother you, really, that your girl has gone past when she’s supposed to come out. Pregnancies are nine months, aren’t they? But she wants to stay, you suppose. And that’s fine. You accept that. Lord knows how difficult it’ll be when she comes so you’re fine with it, fine with her staying.

Hitting the nine-and-a-half-month mark makes you desperate.

You decide you want her out. You’re done with being pregnant, having her kicking you at all hours of the day, craving everything, constantly feeling exhausted. And you try your best to keep it from the public, reducing it to rumours coming from unreliable news sites, so social media has been a burden.

Selfies. Selfies and shots of just your face, and absolutely nothing from your stomach down. No photoshoots, and you don’t let your friends post anything that’ll give it away.

Genevieve and Ben can be your surprise until she comes. Then you’ll decide what to do, whether to tell everyone, whether to keep her a secret for a bit longer.

Until she comes. And it seems like she never will.

You and Ben decide to make Joe and your cousin her godparents, in case of any emergency, and they take the role with (in your cousin’s case) a squeal and a hug, or (in Joe’s case) tears. There hardly seems anyone more fit for the job than the people who, in their own way, brought you to this point.

At nine and a half months you’re lying in bed with Ben, your hair wet from a shower, and your body is riddled with tiredness - it’s all you’ve been feeling. Tired and sore, all the fucking time, and Genevieve is still in no rush to make her appearance into the world.

“Ben,” you mumble, feeling his arms around your waist, hand against your stomach. “I can’t wait until she’s here.”

You can feel him smile against your neck. “Me, too.”

“No.” you turn your head so you can look at him. “I’m really sick of being pregnant, if you want to hear the truth. It’s a real pain in the ass sometimes.”

Ben untangles his body from yours and sits up on his knees, looking down at you. The moonlight streams in through the window, illuminating his body to you and yours to him, and he leans down to kiss your neck. “What can I do to help?”

It’s such an innocent request. You’re already prepared to taint it as you push yourself onto your elbows, sighing and telling him, “Well, there’s this rumor I heard.”

“Alright …”

“That having an orgasm can induce labor.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, and Ben grins. His hand trails from your stomach to your pajama shorts, undoing the tie before starting to pull them down your thighs until they’re dangling from one ankle, and he can push your legs apart with warm hands. His hair is floppy and the light lets you see it better, every individual strand highlighted by the glow.

“I’ll give you all the orgasms you want, sweetheart,” Ben tells you, voice soft yet loud in the silent room. In what feels like a heartbeat he’s lying on his stomach in between your legs, bracing his palms on your smooth inner thighs. He traces your skin, drawing pictures and telling stories that only he can understand until a chill runs right up your spine, and your fingers run through his hair before squeezing the locks.

Ben takes the hint, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your clit. Your hips buck up instinctively - the small jolt of pleasure makes you feel so fucking good already, so desperate for him. Ben looks up at you with a wicked grin, teeth shining, and then he leans in to nip at your clit.

“Fuck!” you gasp, sucking in a sharp breath. “God. God.”

One of his fingers, as thick as two of yours, traces along your folds, collecting wetness on his fingertips. Slowly he slides his digits into your cunt and your body accepts them eagerly, walls clenching around him - Ben leans in to kiss your inner thighs again, sucking another dark hickey into the skin.

He fucks you nice and slow with his fingers, moving his mouth from your thighs to wrap his lips around your clit. He sucks the small bud desperately, cheeks hollowing, and you’re sure he’s rock hard but all he wants is for you to cum. You can tell when he gets like this, when all he’s chasing is your pleasure and not his own. His hips, though, give him away. Rocking against the mattress, needy for any bit of friction, and it’s so unbelievably erotic to watch.

You reach down and search for his free hand, the one not pumping in and out of your pussy, and you intertwine your fingers. Ben’s eyes flicker up to you and he raises his eyebrows, waggling them until you’re giggling and then choking on the air you’re sucking in.

Your bodies are luminescent under the moon, and you press your other hand overtop of your stomach, crying out as your hips buck into your boyfriend’s mouth. Ben’s teeth graze your clit at the same time as his fingers curl to brush your g-spot and the pressure building in your abdomen finally releases, legs quivering and throat raw and skin clammy.

Ben milks it out for every last drop he can, and then he laps the juices up off his fingers that are beginning to trail down his wrist. You can feel stickiness on the inside of your thigh but you don’t mind, really. Usually that would bother you, and maybe you’d ask Ben to go get a washcloth, but you don’t want him to move as he cuddles into your side.

“Do you want me to help you?” you question, soft voice giving away the exhaustion you’d been hoping to hide. “You looked … needy, Ben.”

He snorts, kissing your shoulder. “I fixed it myself. Don’t make fun of me.”

A grin tugs at your lips. “I wasn’t planning on it. Jesus. Go to sleep.”

Ben kisses your puckered lips and then tugs the sheets up over you. They stick to your sweat covered body and it feels good. Cools you off, almost, even as your human furnace of a lover attaches himself to you.

Fingers run absentmindedly through his hair, and your eyelids are brutally heavy but you can’t fall asleep. Even as Ben begins to snore.

This is how it’s supposed to be, you think. How you wanted it to be. You and the love of your life and your unborn daughter, stirring inside of you.

(By tomorrow night, she won’t be stirring inside of you - she’ll be very much outside, sobbing with her fists in her eyes that match her dad’s.)

(But you don’t know that yet.)

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #ben hardy fluff #borhap imagines #borhap smut #pls follow the maker of that absolutely beautiful gif #and thank you all o much for reading these bodyguard fics

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

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"You Alright?!"

Tuesday 19th January 2021

Hello again folks! Hope you're all keeping well! I'm sure some of you may have heard the recent rumours floating around social media recently, to my knowledge there has been no confirmation or truth in any of the rumours as of yet, but the rumours circulating happen to mention that Maisie Smith has quit her role as Tiffany Butcher after 13 years of playing the character to peruse a career in Hollywood, following the paths of her co-stars Ben Hardy and Himesh Patel! (Peter Beale and Tamwar Masood). In regards to these rumours, I personally won't be saying anything about it until something official has been announced, whether it's from EastEnders or Maisie Smith herself. What do you guys make of the rumour?

Focusing on today's episode, there's quite a bit for us to cover, so I'll start first with Ash and Iqra. Out of the blue Iqra gets a phone call from her sister, at first we're unsure what could be happening. It's only late when she rushes home that she reveals that Habiba is pregnant with Jag's child! This news seems to leave Ash feeling even more guilty than ever, even though that over time the guilt has seemed to be eating away inside of her, it seems like this is thing that would tip it over the edge. She decides to take a visit to her Mum, informing her of the news that she's just heard herself. However, after Ash informs Suki that she's going to be a Grandma, Suki drops the bombshell that she's known for a while, informing her daughter that Habiba sent her a letter the other week. Ash is completely stunned that her Mother has no remorse for what she's done, considering the fact that Jags perhaps doesn't know he's going to be a Dad, and that with him being in prison, he's not going to have the opportunity to see his child grow up. Ash can't stand it anymore and she begins to stand up to her Mother, it looks as if this has also been eating away at her also. She voices how much she was dreading her Mum turning up to the Square, and how much she actually has hated her being there since she arrived. Calling her a "Bitch" and more names under the sun, Suki strikes and slaps her daughter across the face. I guess it's fair to say that Suki really is a nasty, evil piece of work. Ash informs her Mother that she's going to do everything she can to keep Habiba and Jags' baby away from her. But horrifically, Suki mentions that she doesn't even care about her unborn Grandchild and the only children she'll make sure she has contact with is Ash's, and not for being the doting Grandmother, but for feeding her children awful stories about their Mum! - Personally, I thought that was just awful, how horrid can one woman be?! Even though we can all agree that we absolutely hate Suki, I have to say that Balvinder Sopal plays the role so fantastically! After learning about Habiba's pregnancy, her confrontation with her Mother, and the guilt building inside of her, Ash takes it upon herself to approach Iqra and finally reveal the truth. After so long, she finally reveals to her girlfriend that she's been lying to her and that Jags was never the one who hurt Martin, but in fact Vinny was the culprit. What does this mean for Iqra and Ash now? How is Iqra ever going to trust her girlfriend again?! What do you guys think? Could this be the end of Iqra and Ash?!

The next thing we have to focus on has to be Mick and Frankie! It has to be doesn't it?! The day appears to be Mick's birthday and it also just happens to be the day were Frankie is supposed to be leaving for Australia. Through-out the day, Mick can't seem to enjoy the celebrations, his mind seems to be completely on Frankie, especially after the way he spoke to her the previous day. However, Frankie seems to be getting her things together. Even though she seems to have consoled herself after yesterday, Ben still seems worried for his friend, informing her that he wants to make sure she's alright before she leaves for Australia. After being able to get a hands on a birthday card for Mick, she contemplates dropping it off to his house, but Shirley confronts her - am I still right in thinking that Shirley doesn't know who she is?! I'm sure she just knows that she's Katy's daughter? But not that she's Mick? Am I right? Please someone enlighten me if I'm right or wrong! Anyway, after being confronted by Shirley, Frankie flees, crumpling up the birthday card in her hands. Later, Mick is alone in the gardens as he sits on Arthur's bench, Frankie still playing on his mind. As he's alone with his thoughts, he appears to overhear a conversation between Phil and Denise. Phil pleads to her to let him see Raymond more often, he has a right to see his son as he's his Dad, all he really wants to get to know his son and spend time with him. After some contemplating, Denise agrees and informs him to collect Raymond later in the day, but before she leaves to head inside the house, Phil whole-heartedly thanks her, and you can see how genuine his thanks towards her is. This moment also seems to play on Mick's mind as he later confronts Denise and informs her how good it was of her for letting Phil see Raymond, it's then Denise makes a very valid point - every child needs their Dad. Later on in the episode, Linda takes Mick to the Prince Albert, but once again, he can't seem to focus on his birthday celebrations. He informs Linda that no matter what Katy has done, Frankie is a part of him and she is also a victim as well as he is. It seems that Mick has finally come to his senses and realises he needs to see/speak to his daughter. He approaches Ben and asks where she might be, it's then he learns that she's due to leave for Australia at any minute. Desperate to find her before she leaves, Mick hurries out the bar in search for her. Fortunately he manages to find her at the tube, now I have to say that this scene was absolutely beautiful, so touching it almost made me cry!! After so long, Frankie gets to hear the words she's been longing to hear. Mick opens up and acknowledges that he's her Dad, and no matter what kind of life they've both had, they have a special connection being Father and Daughter. He makes the very important statement that he genuinely wants her to be a part of his life, she's his daughter and the one thing he notifies that he's good at, is being a Dad! The look on Frankie's face is overwhelm and pure happiness, through happy tears she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the birthday card she crumpled up earlier and passes it to her Dad - "Happy Birthday, Dad!" - Mick opens the card in front of her and is completely touched, teary he pulls her in for a hug and they hold each other, with happy teary eyes. I found this scene so emotional, I was so happy for them I want to cry and yet cheer at the screen! Beautiful acting from both Danny Dyer and Rose Ayling-Ellis. Does this mean that Frankie will now be staying on the Square? Will the rest of the Carter family be able to accept her? I'm sure Linda will, but how will Shirley react when she learns the truth about Frankie's identity?!

The final thing I want to talk about of course is Sharon and Ian! During the last episode, Sharon left Phil a voicemail, claiming that she's come to the decision to call the plan of killing Ian off! At the beginning of this episode, Phil is the first one to make it through the Queen Vic doors to confront Sharon about her change of mind, she claims that the reason behind her decision is that she can't put Kathy through what she has been through, for some reason, it just doesn't seem fair. But her decision doesn't seem to sit right with Phil. Later, as Ian leaves the pub in an attempt to get some fresh Ian, Max approaches him from behind and happens to ask two - has heard about his test results? and whether he's confronted Sharon about their suspicion? However, Ian once again seems to brush off the idea that Sharon could be behind him feeling unwell. But interestingly, Max makes a very valid point - if there was one person who would want him actually dead, the realistic culprit would be him! However, he also seems to mention to Ian that he overheard Kathy having an altercation with Sharon. Returning to the Vic, Sharon is upstairsgetting rid of some pills as she washes them away down the sink, as she's doing so, Ian approaches her from behind - asking her what she's doing. She turns around in a shock and uses the excuse that she's getting rid of some old medication as she doesn't want Albie getting hold of them. It's then he takes his opportunity to question whether she has something she wants to tell him. However when she denies wanting to talk about anything, he questions her about the confrontation she had with his Mum, it's then that she explains that people care in different ways and his Mother was just simply asking her to look after him. Later on in the episode, Sharon bumps into Phil at the park as he kicks a ball around with little Raymond. It's then they begin to discuss their plan with no lurking ears around them. Phil can't seem to understand why Sharon has changed her mind, he devastatingly recalls the evening that Dennis died, that he was actually on the boat at the time! This seems to really affect both of them and as Phil begins to carry on describing how poor Dennis must've felt being locked in the room by Ian, Sharon stops him as she can't bare to hear another word. Phil insists that Ian has to pay for what he's done to their boy and he promises her that he'll get something stronger, something that will work much quicker! It look as if their plan to get rid of Ian is back on, as during the final scene of the episode, as Sharon is working away behind the bar, Ian is sat on the opposite side of the bar, beside her. Phil makes his way inside and Sharon begins to poor him a glass of orange juice, only the one thing I noticed is that as soon as they step to one side, Ian watches them, looking incredibly suspicious. Could he maybe jump to conclusions and think that Phil is behind him being ill? Or will he put two and two together and maybe come up with the possibility that Sharon and Phil are working together?! But, the one thing he doesn't tend to see, is Phil passing Sharon a little pouch of powder as well as money to pay for his drink. Very discreetly, she pops the powder inside her jeans pocket as Phil takes a sit in the pub. It looks as if the plan to finish off Ian is still all systems go! Will Ian click on to their plan?!

At the end of every episode I feel like I have so many questions to ask, and honestly, I can't wait to see how each and every storyline continues/ends. Is there a current storyline that you're enjoying at the moment? Is there a certain outcome that you want to see? Please feel free to leave me a comment or a message, I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Thank you again for reading, your on-going support really does mean the world, and I just want to let you know, that every like, every follow, every comment - I see you and it means the extra bit more to see your support! Thank you everyone! Enjoy the rest of your day! Love you all xXx

#eastenders #ashpanesar #iqraahmed #sukipanesar #jags panesar #habibaahmed #frankielewis #benmitchell #mickcarter #lindacarter #shirleycarter #philmitchell #denisefox #sharonbeale #ianbeale #kathybeale #maxbranning

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witchlyboo · 4 years

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Definitely, maybe.

Part 1: The one with the bluest eyes.

Introduction. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five.

Summary: You tell the story of your first love to your son and the dramatic appearance of a human hurricane.

Pairing: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Michael B. Jordan x Pedro Pascal x Timothee Chalamet.

Warnings: Angst, lots of misspellings (sorry) and language. Promise is going to be spicier next time.

a/n: This part took much time because I was in finals, please let me know if you like it and if there are some horrible and unforgivable misspellings, I’m learning (in private, don’t embarrasse me in front of the cool writers). Luv u for read this, thnx ✨

“Maybe if you blow it.” Your friend suggests sitting on the toilet as nervous as you are, maybe a little bit more; she is the kind of person that takes other people’s problems terribly personal and you have struggles with take yourself seriously, the perfect match. The pregnancy test has been laughing at you for the last ten minutes even when the box said the results are ready in three, and at this point of your life, you wouldn’t be surprised if you had bought the only test that doesn’t work in the entire world.

“What?!” You ask looking at her concerned, hoping that you misunderstood her Yorker accent. Sheep (the name you gave her for the volume of her hair that remained you to that sheep in the Zootopia movie) was getting in panic, you can hear it in her voice, and considering that she is the one that keeps you both down to earth, that is very bad news.

“Yeah, maybe you have to dry the pee and yours is too dense.” She concluded really proud of the argument she made; you think of it for a second but any explication other than the universe hates you is off the table.

“That doesn’t have any sense! I...” You hear someone knocking at the apartment’s door and the color of your cheeks magically disappeared. “Fuck, it’s him, he has to be so early all the time?”You check your make-up one more time and your whole outfit before get out off the bathroom giving Sheep a forehead kiss. “I’ll buy another one on the way back home.”

“Ok, I’m going to search on internet the better way to push you off the stairs if it’s positive.” You hear her say and that makes you laugh softly forgetting for a moment the posible consequence of the bad and drunk use of a condom.

A sight of a pregnancy is, surprisingly, not you mayor reason to be nervous, tonight is your first anniversary with Logan, actually, the first one with anyone, that’s an incredible achievement for you, you were dealing with your commitment issues since you were old enough to have a relationship. Yes, this is a big deal, but to be fair, it’s not all thanks to you. The way he makes love you look so easy is the main reason.

Logan is nice. More than that. He is the kind of guy that kisses your hand before holds it warmly close to his heart that beats faster every time you say his name. He is the first person to text your mom on her birthday and asked you for your permission on your first kiss. Soft pink parted lips and blue puppy eyes; if you look at them carefully you can easily get lost on the calm sea of emotions, the clear water makes you think that you can see through them but no, there’s a dark shade warning you that they are more deeper than you could ever imagine. Was that darkness that attracted you in the first place.

You decided to wear the tight black dress he likes the most, it covers two fingers above the knee but the neckline is low enough to let everyone know that, indeed, you have two breast and no shame in show them; those kind of dresses are made for skinnier woman with regular curves that are smaller than yours but you take it as an advantage, you struggled with love your body for so many years and now that you feel comfortable with it you won’t let anyone drag you down on that again.

“Hey.” You say opening the door and pretending that there’s not any possibility of being pregnant of his baby in that exact moment.

“Wow.” He says looking at you and you feel your heart do a little jump, feeling glad that you got the expected reaction. Usually you take your time when you dress or makeup, it is way more important to you to call it vanity, you express yourself through it, make yourself a little piece of art is an everyday thing.

“I know.” You respond hugging him and smelling that scent of his neck that you are obsessed with, not too masculine or feminine, expensive cologne, mint, and his vanilla conditioner; it is the smell of stability and care, things that you never thought you could need that much. You take your time to look at him in his completely black suit, including the tie and you think for the first time in your relationship with him that you might not be correctly dressed. “Do you think I’m underdress?”

“Nonsense, you look like the hot villain of a Marvel movie.” Being that the best compliment you ever had, you kiss him deeply placing your hands under his jacket, feeling the warm of his skin through his shirt, and pressing your nails in it, enjoying the sudden tension on his posture.

“If you keep doing that we won’t make it to dinner.” He whispers in your lips but the hold on your hips don’t get softer. You laugh and not complain knowing he was right, you hold his hand instead and walk out the building playing with the sound of your heels while he gives random squeezes to your hand.

You were so over the moon to see it, you’ll really wish you had seen it.

“Where are we going?” You ask when he starts driving. His parents gave him that car on his 21th birthday, thinking that your parents couldn’t afford one for themselves even if they save money for ten years, disturbes you a little. You can’t get use to a person that doesn’t see the price of stuff when buys it when you count cents at the end of the month.

His whole life is an outsider dream to you, he is about to graduate from medicine school, his parents planned to have him, are proud of him and you are sure that he has never had those invasives thoughts at 3 am. of feeling that you may never make it to success, or at least personal satisfaction.

“I have a surprise for you, two actually, we go for them and then we go to eat dinner with my parents, I know it’s our anniversary but my mom insisted, you know how she is and how much she loves you. I promise after that the night is ours.” He takes your hand and leaves a kiss on it before put it on the gear shift covering it with his own. The second red flag is as bright as the sun, but your head is too busy thinking in baby names to actually care.

“I thought we said no gifts.” You say looking at his growing beard. He is deliciously handsome, yes, you wouldn’t deny the superficiality of your system, you study plastic arts after all, it’s not a surprise that you admire the exterior beauty before everything else. And yes, you love his face religiously, most people wouldn’t agree with you when you say he is the most beautiful person you ever met in real life, but for you he is. The sofisticated angle of his nose, the way his pink lips are always sightly parted like he has all the answers and just waiting for you to make the questions; and yes, his eyes, you aren’t the kind of person that consider that the clear eyes are more beautiful than dark ones but his are out of this world, you had painted them countless times and never get tired.

“It’s not a gift if it’s for both of us, right?” As I said, he has all the answers, it makes you nervous to think that you may not have the right questions.

You arrive at a small two floors house you’ve never seen before, it is completely white and even from the outside you can tell it has a big garden; all the lights were out and it is an early night so you figure out it is empty.

“It’s time.” He whispers in your ear before kiss your cheek and gets out of the car, you don’t even try to open your own door, he puts the kids safety on when you deny all his attempts to open the door for you, it’s a fight that you agree to lose because internally you kind of like it, it doesn’t matter how much you say you don’t.

He opens the door for you, as usual, helps you get out, as usual, holds your hand, gives you a peck on the lips and softly says: let’s break-in.

“What?!” That’s not usual at all, you stay there for a few seconds watching him walk to the front door not believing your own eyes. It’s necessary clarify that everything about Logan is safe, his job, family, personality, habits and even sex, you used to think that soft vanilla isn’t a thing you’d particularly like to do all the time but he makes it works; he is not the kind of guy that takes you to crazy and adventurous dates.

“Are you out of your mind?! There might be people inside.” You yell in a whisper running to his side not really sure if you are scary of that new attitude or really really excited.

“They’re selling the house, it’s empty.” He knocks the door with an arched eyebrow and soft smile, making the situation less disturbing but not completely. He is so handsome and you never hated that before as you do now.

“I’m a foreign student, if the cops find me stealing gum they will kill me, or worst, deport me. You have any idea of what they’d to me if they catch me getting in the house of some white family?” You look around in case somebody’s watching but he holds your face with both of his hands and kiss your forehead.

“Coward.” He whispers before open a window and enters to the house as it is his property. You stay there again like an idiot thinking in all the consequences this may have, but the new attitude of Logan is so intoxicating and attractive that you take off your shoes and enter with him. “That’s my girl.” You hear him say while holds your hand helping you get in.

An empty house, as he said, completely white on the inside too but seems bigger, with huge windows and a beautiful view of the moon entering through a skylight in the middle of the hall. You walk around the place without saying anything, enjoying each other’s existence; you like that place already even when you have no idea what are you doing there.

“The surprise is me being deported? Because I rather a puppy or something.” You break the silence throwing your heels on the floor now that you feel more comfortable with being a criminal.

“Nope, it is outside.” He walks you to the garden and the feeling of the grass under your feet remains you of home, the smell of fresh air that is a hard thing to find in a big city like that makes you smile.

“Oh, so you been here before.” He holds your waist with both of his hands and starts dancing slowly, looking at you with the calmest sea you ever seen, his fingers caress slowly your back trying to get you closer to him, and you do it without hesitation, holding his neck and connecting your forehead with his.

“Angel.” He whispers when you hug his shoulders and rest your head on his neck getting drunk of that smell and the sound of his heartbeat that you can hear weakly, everything but his voice is completely silence. You could be like that all night, drunk of him and his wonderful way of loving you; you never play the game of who loves each other the most because deep inside you know that he does and you want to allow yourself to feel that.

A fresh air moves your pink hair and suddenly and with no warning something does click in your head, but it’s late, now that your start to connect the dots, the damage is done.

“This is our house.” He says interrupting the dance and giving a step back trying to look at you, you notice the red checks and a nervous smile but there’s nothing you can do. Just panic.

“I don’t get it.” You do but you try to make more time to think, think about what? You don’t know, fake a fainting is too dramatic but is everything you can think about. Stupid telenovelas with no practical life solutions.

“i bought this house, well, I will in a few years but everything is signed. Three bedrooms, garage, the garden you always wanted and is far and close enough of everything.” You forget how to breath, your body is frozen and you start hearing the beat of your own heart. “It is ok to begin, right? Our first child will grow up here and we can move out when we want to have more, you can paint and do everything you want while I’m working and finish my studies, decore the walls, create a club, invite friends...”

“Logan.” You try to stop him but he is too excited to hear you. He is describing everything you are scare about, he is creating the image of the perfect wife you never wanted to be and he is not even asking, you have too much feelings and not words enough to express them. You start hyperventilating and your heart is too scared that beats faster than ever trying to scape from your chest to be wherever but there.

You don’t want that life, not even if it comes with him.

“You told me once that love is a decision and when all the passion of the first times and honey moon phase disappears, the only thing left is choose to love consciously. I choose you every single day.” The panic attack appears when you see him getting on his knee and getting a little box of his pocket.

“No, no, no, no.” You whisper desperately trying to cover the box, and looking for the words that can make this less terrible, but you are not as delicate as he is with words, you’re not good enough for him, you’ll never be. The clear water of his eyes turns into grey, the smile is fading away and all you could do is breaking your own heart silently.

But, as expected, it gets worst.

You see his family and some friends getting out of the kitchen where they were hiding with balloons, food and the happier smile; they thought you were taking the ring and said yes, apparently he was so sure that you would accept that he invited everyone he cares to the celebration. You hear a wave of congratulations and got hugs from people you can’t even see, the only face you are worried about is watching you with a disappointed and confused face, the sea eyes are darker than ever and his lips fully close. You’ll never forget that terrible image.

“I can’t do this, I’m so sorry.” You mouthed escaping from the hugs that feels like chains from people that ignore completely the existence of you two, too happy and busy with the celebration to realize the madness they are standing in.

You enter to the house, take your heels of the floor and run away as fast as you can with that dress and no shoes on. The tears cover your cheeks and the feeling of the pavement hurts your feet but you can’t stop. You feel that do it will be the dead of you.

You stopped when the tears covered completely your view, you know you are close to your apartment but your broken heart can’t wait for you to get there, the bar of questionable reputation seems like a god place to have a mental breakdown so you put your back against the wall and try to stop the baby crying, at least until you are home.

Out of nowhere you hear a scream of pain that makes you jump and forget that you are the most horrible and miserable human being that ever existed. Was that an exaggeration? Yes. You couldn’t care less? Also yes.

The first thing you see is a lit cigar holding out of a peachy dry lips that were softly smiling, more like mocking while the owner had a hand on his chest and making groans of pain. You couldn’t see his face since he is inclined but can already tell that he is attractive.

“Are you okay?” You ask already knowing that he isn’t in any kind of pain but your manners and curiosity are too strong to ignore.

“No, please call an ambulance, my weakness just appeared, a hot girl crying in a tight dress.” That was so amazingly smooth that you didn’t have time to get mad, the confusion on your face is replaced with disappointment and lack of interest.

“Whatever, hope it kills you.” You say cleaning the tears of your cheek and covering your chest holding your arms and trying to look less vulnerable. You start walking again pretending that you have your dignity untouched and your life together.

“Oh, c’mon, I just want to help you, it’s not a good hour for a lonely lady dressed like that.” You hear him but don’t put much attention to his words, he isn’t saying anything you don’t know already “You’re practically asking for it.” That, in other side, makes you turn around to give him your coldest look, you aren’t depressed enough to ignore an insinuation of sexual abuse.

“He says pretending he is an American scumbag to catch the pink hair girl attention and offer her a ride.” You finally see his face, green eyes, blonde hair covered with a black beanie and a pretentious smirk that you immediately hate.

“No, thanks.” You start walking again and hear his fast steps coming closer to you, when you feel that he is just a step behind you, you turned around again facing him with a firm expression, he just needs to push a little more on your nerves to get your full range.

“Then...” He put his hands on the air and gives a step back when sees your expression trying to look harmless as posible. “Take my coat, I know no one has the right to touch you but they know that too and don’t give a shit.”

No giving you time to respond he takes off his coat and puts it on your shoulders, closes the chest bottom first to let you know that there’s no hidden intentions on his gesture.

“What kind of jerk lets a girl leave like this?” He asks in a soft tone closing the rest of the coat and breathes out the smoke of the cigarette up so it can’t reach you.

“I ran away.” You answer feeling the need to defend Logan’s honor, even when doesn’t matters anymore.

“You seem to be good at it.” The stupid mock appeared again and you close your fist imagining the feeling of erase it with a punch. “I’m here on weekends, return it whenever you want, cotton candy.” You frowned your eyebrows at the name and he laughs a little when sees it. “Strawberry cake, pinky cloud, monkey muffin, powerpuffgirl, I can go all night until you give me your name.” You don’t say anything and instead looks away making him know that that’s not an option. “Fine, monkey muffin then.” He winks at you and turnes around walking back to the bar, as an apparition.

“Why did you say no?” Evan asks with his plate full of food, he was so into the story that had no interest in anything else.

“I didn’t love him as I should and no one deserves that.” You say lose in your own thoughts, that was the first of many broken hearts and no close to be the worst of them. Evan understands and takes his time to the next question.

“Were you pregnant?” He sees you with a careful look, trying to not offends you or be insensitive.

“Nope” You remember the test giving finally a negative result when you went home.

“Who is the guy of the coat?”

“Oh, that’s Benjamin Fucking Hardy, but you have to finish your pizza first.”

Taglist:

@eridanuswave

@cjand10

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland #ben hardy imagine #logan lerman #michael b jordan #pedro pascal #smut #timothee chalamet #tom holland blurb #my garbage #Ben hardy

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wewillwriteyou · 5 years

Note

Hello! I've previously read some of your imagines and they are really good. I was wondering if I could make a request though? I was thinking something like 'the reader finds out that they're pregnant by Ben Hardy, and then they break up but she doesn't tell Ben about it. Then 6 months later (when you have your pregnant stomach) Ben runs into you but thinks that you're someone else and you fall back in love. ' Hope that's okay? Thanks! :)

Thank you so much for the ask @queenlover05! Sorry, it took us a while to answer, we hope this story is worth the wait! 💕🔥

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Warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of unprotected sex, pregnancy and a LOT of FLUFF in the end

Characters: Y/N & Ben Hardy

Word count: 2.6K words a little longer than usual for a request, my hand slipped oops

Written by: @deakyswhitequeen

Disclaimers:

This is a work of fiction. Please DO NOT take this as facts from real life. We don’t know the actual people nor do we claim to know what they do on their own time. They’re just characters here.

Remember that this contains ANGST; if you feel uncomfortable when reading this kind of topic/situation, please just skip this story.

Love you, folks xxx

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Request a story from this prompt list!

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Staring at the white and blue bathroom tiles of your bathroom’s floor, you forced yourself to remember how to breathe.

Closing your eyes, you inhaled, held your breath, and exhaled. Repeatedly.

How the fuck did this happen?

Stay calm. Breathe. Clear your mind.

When the fuck did this happen?

Breathe. Everything’s gonna be okay. Stay calm.

Fuck, what am I gonna do now?

Clear your mind.

Do I tell him?

Stop it. Breathe.

Shit, how should I call him? Or text him? Should I show up at his place? Should I tell him to come at mine? Will he want to see me? Do I want to see him again? Should I wait a while? Should I tell him right away?

“STOP!” you yelled out.

You didn’t mean to scream it out. Those voices inside your head were becoming louder and louder and were talking over each other and constantly fighting. You felt like your head was gonna explode.

Your eyes shut open and focused again on the intricate motives on the white tiles of your bathroom.

Looking around you, you found the stick on the floor two feet away from you.

Three lines. No way you could mistake it. You were pregnant.

In all your life, of all the times you’d imagined that moment, you’d never imagined something like that.

You thought it would have been a joyful moment, with a little bit of fear and worry for the huge step you’d gonna be taking, but mainly happiness. With the person you’d be spending your life with.

Instead, you found yourself sitting on the floor of your bathroom, alone.

You felt hopeless, abandoned and utterly, completely alone.

Rubbing your eyes with your hands, you forced yourself to find the strength of standing up and looking at your reflection in the mirror.

Now all the late evening sicknesses, the aversion to tuna and salmon which you normally loved and the sense of uneasiness every time you got up in the morning had a reason to be. What a fool you felt now for not having understood earlier.

You stared at your own reflection, turning halfway to your left, looking for some signs of a bigger belly but everything looked normal to you. It must have been like a month or two max.

Caressing your lower belly, you sighed. The next thing in your mind besides coming to terms with it was realising you now would have had to tell him.

The thought of him brought you back to the night when six weeks ago the two of you had put the word ’end’ to your relationship. That night had only been the climax of a lot of things piling up over those months of being together, like fights about him always being away, fights about you working late in the evenings and endless fights about way too many rescheduled dates and missed calls.

You remembered the look on his face when you both realised that that was it for the two of you. You remembered him cupping your face and kissing you heavily and passionately and then him rolling you over on his couch and just exploring every inch of your body as if to try and impress it all in his mind. You remembered not wanting that moment to end and savouring every inch of his skin, inhaling his cologne and absorbing the image of his beautiful green eyes into yours.

You also remembered crying your eyes out later that same night. After making love for what seemed like an eternity and a fraction of a second at the same time, he’d fallen asleep next to you and you’d felt tears pricking behind your eyes. You’d cried silently and lulled yourself to sleep that way, knowing you’d never stop loving him.

The timer beeping in the kitchen told you it was midnight and brought you back from your flashback.

You couldn’t tell him about the pregnancy.

You knew that the second your eyes would have met his, you’d become puddle at his feet. You were too much in love with him to have the strength of telling him you were expecting his baby and then see him walk away again from you.

Getting over him was one of the hardest things you’d ever done and you were not sure you would have bared to do it another time.

You opened the sink and let cold water wash over your face. When you looked back up at yourself in the mirror, you were sure you’d taken the right decision.

Months passed and your determination and will power made it possible that the baby grew strong and healthy in your belly, which was getting bigger and bigger by the day, according to your friends and family. They had repeatedly asked you who the father was, but the only person who you’d actually told the truth to was your gynecologist.

She was the only one who knew the father of your baby was actually Ben freaking Hardy.

Every time someone close to you asked you who the father was, you just said it was this guy who you’d seen for a few months and then broke up with because of his work. Which in fact was not entirely untrue… you just happened to omit the fact that the guy was a world-famous celebrity.

You resolved way early in the pregnancy that sharing the father’s identity would only have compromised his work – the media would have followed him everywhere – and your privacy.

It was only easier this way.

As you walked through your last six months in your mind, a little smile popped up on your lips and you mentally applauded yourself for handling it so well.

You were only a few gynecologist-appointments away to the due date and not a single call or text from Ben. Over the months, as you taught yourself to forget about him, you figured he had forgotten about you.

That Monday you had left home later than usual for your OBGYN appointment. Your heels clicked on the asphalt of the sidewalk as you walked quickly from your car to the clinic. You checked in for the examination and were told you had a two-hour wait ahead of you.

Hearing your stomach grumble for something to eat – which you had not had in the hurry of leaving home as soon as possible – you decided to employ those two hours in getting breakfast at the Starbucks across the street.

Just like you’d expect, there were dozens of people in line for coffee. You patiently got in line and took out your phone to look through your messages and pass the time.

Two messages from mom, a missed call from your friend Debbie and an Instagram direct from your group of friends. The usual.

Scrolling through your feed you noticed recurring photos of Ben recently taken by paparazzi. Ben in a sweatshirt jogging in the park, Ben in his grey beanie walking Frankie, Ben in the pink suit at Wembley with Gwilym.

His face seemed to be everywhere those days. And it was becoming harder to ignore the fact that you hadn’t told him about the baby.

You sighed frustrated and put your phone away in your purse, accidentally elbowing the person behind you in line.

As you turned to apologize, you looked up and froze on your spot.

You’d looked at one of his pictures on the phone like three seconds ago and there he was.

“Sorry…” you mumbled and quickly turned around. You had only been able to catch a glimpse of the reassuring smile he had given you.

He was wearing air pods so he probably hadn’t even heard you. You hoped he hadn’t noticed how red you’d become on your cheeks and how awkward you were moving now that you knew he was behind you.

He was even more handsome than you remembered, with his stupid black leather jacket you used to borrow all the time and the black sunglasses in his hair. It was hard not to think how much you’d missed him.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” the woman behind the cashier asked you.

You shot a fleeting glimpse behind you and answered: “Y/N”.

As she wrote down your name on the cup, you felt something moving behind you and you soon heard his voice

“Y/N, is that you?” Ben asked from behind you.

Crap. Your cover had been compromised.

You slowly turned to him and waved a little “Hi”

You saw him smile widely, then taking in your whole figure and painting his face with genuine surprise.

“Wow, it’s been so long…” he attempted, rubbing his neck awkwardly “ehm… congratulations…!”

You smiled back and thanked him, as you walked away from the cashier and found a place at a table nearby.

“So how have you been?” you asked him with a polite smile, while the butterflies stormed in your stomach.

He told you about his recent projects and the future ones and you nodded along like you would with a long lost friend with whom you don’t have the same intimacy anymore.

He stopped for a second and smiled.

“You look radiant” He just commented and you felt your cheeks flushing.

“Oh stop it, Ben”

“No, I mean it…” he continued “You look happy”

He smiled again then added “I don’t know who he is… but I can see he makes you happy”

You felt like laughing and crying at the same time. Maybe it’s the hormones.

You shook your head “It’s not a he…” you giggled lightly at the confusion on his face.

“Oh, I’m sorry I-”

“It’s a she…” you interrupted him “but she’s very young, she doesn’t have a name yet…”

As you said so, you saw his eyes focusing on your hand placed on your prominent belly.

He looked back at you and chuckled “Well, in this case, I’m very happy for you. A girl… like you always wanted…”

You didn’t know if it was your imagination or something, but those words sounded so sad and sincere to your ears.

You gave him a small smile before looking away from his eyes.

“Is it inappropriate for me to ask who the father is?” he attempted.

You looked back at him and slowly shook your head.

“It is not inappropriate. It’s a legitimate question and you have no idea how many times people have asked me…”

He smiled “And what do you tell them?”

That sneaky bastard knows me too well.

“’You don’t know him… we’ve dated for a while but we’re not together anymore’”

“And what do you tell me?”

He knows it’s not the entire truth, I cannot believe him.

You found yourself torn between the decision to keep him in outside the whole thing and the urge to tell him everything.

“Exactly what I say to everyone that asks… I’m not seeing the guy anymore” you answered and Ben nodded slowly.

“Do I know him?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

You smiled a little “I’m not sure…”

He shifted in his seat and leaned in towards you so he could whisper, “Then tell me his name, I might remember him…”

His green eyes were staring into yours and you felt at home after a long time of wandering around. If you’d been prone to sarcasm a few minutes ago, now there was no trace of it. You could read in his eyes he was trying to remain still while thinking you had been with somebody else.

“Can I ask you something?” you suddenly said, trusting your instinct.

He nodded vividly “Sure, Y/N, anything…”

“Have you ever thought about us since… you know… we broke up?”

He bit his lip, like he would always do when he had something hard or important to say, and gently took your hands into his.

“You have always been in my mind…” he admitted in a low voice looking down at your hands “Whether I was asleep or awake, you were always there… and I’ll never forgive myself for letting you slip away from me”

“You didn’t let me…” you stopped him “I slipped away cause we both decided it was best for us. I decided that–”

“Yeah, but I didn’t stop you. I thought our decision would have made my life easier… I didn’t imagine how wrong could I be…”

You didn’t expect such an open-hearted confession.

“Do you really feel this way?” you asked cautiously.

He looked right back at you “Of course I do, Y/N, I-”

“Then answer this,” you interrupted him again “if we could go back to that moment and change what happened, would you want to?”

You were staring into each other’s eyes and it felt like the world around you had stopped. As you waited for an answer, you felt his thumb rubbing circles on your hand.

“No, I wouldn’t” he then said and you felt the small ray of hope dying out inside of you.

“Oh-”

“I wouldn’t change what happened because it made me understand what life feels without you and now I know I’m ready to make things work”

Your lips parted in shock. It was exactly what you’d always dreaded to hear from him. What was happening felt surreal and before you knew it you caught him inching closer and softly kissing your lips.

It was like coming home after a long time and the gentleness of the kiss made your heart soar.

You pulled away and looked down at your hands still intertwined to his, a small giggle falling off your lips.

“I missed this” you admitted looking back up.

He smiled openly “I missed you” he kissed your lips again, before pulling away, “so… do we get a second chance?”

You chuckled “Would you believe me if I said I’d been waiting for you to ask me this for the last six months?”

Ben chuckled as well, leaning in and resting his forehead against yours “I’m sorry it took so long”

“It’s okay,” you smiled “we made it, didn’t we?”

He smiled as well, “Yeah, we did”, he stopped for a second, then added: “Would the father be okay with this?”

Your lips curved in a big smile, “I bet he would. He’s a very cool guy, you know?” an idea popped into your head and you picked up your phone, “in fact, I’m gonna tell him right now…”

Ben’s eyes widened a little “You’re gonna text him now? Y/N, that’s not neces-”

A faint bing caught his attention and interrupted him mid-sentence.

He excused himself and stuck out his phone. You laughed a little, partially because you realized he hadn’t changed the phone cover you’d given him for his birthday, and partially because of his priceless expression once he’d read the text you’d sent him.

He looked up at you, his pink lips parted in surprise and his green eyes watery and glowing with renewed light.

“Are you joking?” he asked with a nervous chuckle.

You vividly shook your head “It’s you, Ben.”

He huffed and let out a light chuckle, nervously passing a hand through his blond curls.

“I-I can’t believe this…” he sniffled and only then you realized he was actually on the verge of crying.

You reached out to take his hand and held it tight into yours, smiling nicely and gently rubbing it with your fingers.

“This is our second chance”

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Did you like this story? Check out what else we’ve written on our masterlist!

Do you have an idea for a story? Put together a request from our prompt list!

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#angst #fluff #ben hardy angst #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy #borhap #borhap cast #borhap cast imagines #wewillwriteyou #wewillwriteyou ask #wewillwriteyou prompt list #deakyswhitequeen #sweetgcreature

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mdittyz123 · 4 years

Text

Roger Taylor Fic Recommendations

Queen/Bohemian Rhapsody Cast Fic Recommendations Masterlist

I've Been Waiting for You Summery: Roger and (Y/N) are caught off guard when she goes into labor. Suddenly their lives are laid before them as they prepare to greet their first child. #dad!roger #mom!reader #pregnancy #baby #birth

Love is Art Prompt: Can I request a soulmate au with 80's Roger? Where when your soulmate draws one their body it appears on your body in the same space and Roger's soulmate is an artist. She likes to draw very intricate and extravagant things on her thighs. One day Roger sees his tour assistant in a skirt with a matching drawing on her thigh. #part 1 of 2 #soulmates au

Best Grandpa Ever Prompt: I was wondering if I could request some grandpa Roger Taylor where the reader is the partner of Rufus and they are pregnant with/ or has a small boy perhaps 1-3 years and Roger is this doting grandpa and the reader has a relationship to Roger as being just like a daughter to him? #rufus taylor x reader #dad!rufus #mom!reader #grandpa!roger #child

Family Roger's wife and kids visit him at the recording studio #dad!roger #mom!reader #children #baby

*We're Not Normal Reader is taken to the hospital when she has difficulty breathing. Roger and reader learn reader is 9 months pregnant and she is in labor. #dad!roger #mom!reader #pregnancy #suprise baby #birthing problems #queen member!reader

Roger Taylor-Freddie's Best Friend Plot: being Freddie’s best friend means supporting him on everything, and being in love with Roger Taylor means suffering in silence, doesn’t it? Maybe a little trip to the fields can change that, but not in the best way. #series #part 1 of 12 #best friends!freddie and reader

Daughter of Roger Taylor So Roger had a daughter and she is the only kid in the group and Freddie is always there to joke and have a good time with her and John always dances with her while playing and Brian always talks to her about different stars(he tries to make it interesting thinking she would be bored but she really did like it). Can you write about what happens one day she is sick and the four take care of her? #dad!roger #daughter!reader #sick #child

Fill in the Blank Summary: Roger cares for the reader, his best friend, who has shown up at his door in the middle of the night, in need of him. #single mom!reader #series #part 1 of 10 #mom!reader #step-dad!roger #pregnancy #new baby #abusive ex #protective!roger #engagment #marriage

The Weight of the World Synopsis: Roger’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. Or maybe it’s just the drumming.

Ben Hardy x Reader x Roger Taylor Series You, Roger, and Ben have found your soulmates in each other. Queen was founded several years ago, making Ben and Roger nearly the same age. All BxRxR stories and blurbs take place in the same world. #series #part 1 of 36 #chapters #blurbs #headcanon #group text #polyamourous relationship #dad!roger #dad!ben #mom!reader #3-way marriage #puppy #dog

Maverick A writer for a magazine was hired to follow Queen on tour detailing the bands life and their families. #marriage #tour #interview

Out of Time Reader finds herself in the 1970s on her 23rd birthday and bumps into queen in their earlier days. Her and Roger fall in love. Will she want to return to the future once it is time? #series #complete #part 1 of 34 #somewhat sad ending #somewhat alternate ending

Falling Slowly Reader works under Jim Beach as Queen’s lawyer. She and Roger fall in love #series #completed #part 1 of 32 #lawyer of queen!reader

All Grown Up You return home after a few years and catch Roger’s eye. WARNING: age gap (19 & 32), breeding kink, pregnancy mentions #brother!brian #sister!reader #pregnancy

Child of Mine Roger is dating reader who is a single mother and they raise her daughter together. #series #part 1 of 5 #dad!roger #mom!reader #stepdad!roger #single mom!reader #child #pregnancy

Tears Ricochet Reader has been in a coma for the last couple of years and when she wakes up she finds that her boyfriend Roger now has a wife and child. Has he really moved on though? #series #ongoing #past relationship #angst

Slipping Through My Fingers Ben and taylor!reader’s wedding day #ben hardy x reader #dad!roger #daughter!reader #current!roger #wedding

#queen #bohemian rhapsody #masterlist #fic recommendation #roger taylor x reader #roger x reader #dad!roger #mom!reader #daughter!reader #pregnancy #grandpa!roger taylor #queen member!reader #roger taylor x reader x ben hardy #child #baby #new baby #birthing problems #current!roger taylor

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megalony · 4 years

Text

Heartbeat- Part 6

I know it has taken me a while to get back to this Ben Hardy story but I finally managed to finish this next part which I hope you will all enjoy. There is some fluff and confliction ahead, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @ispewglitter

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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Ben didn't know what woke him up at such an early hour in the morning, but he could sense and feel that something wasn't quite right. He laid on his back, his eyes trying to make out the patterns on the ceiling through the darkness as he felt his mind very slowly beginning to wake up and come around. But when he started to become aware of his surroundings, Ben realised why he must have woken up so suddenly like this.

(Y/n) was mumbling something.

For a few seconds, all Ben could think of was that she was talking to someone quietly on the phone because all the times they had slept together, Ben had never known (Y/n) to sleep talk or mumble or make a sound in her sleep. But when Ben looked over at her, he noticed she wasn't really speaking, it was soft murmurs leaving her lips suggesting she wasn't awake and talking on the phone or to herself.

Reaching over he turned on the bedside lamp to try and get a better look at (Y/n) laid beside him. He'd never known her to talk or mumble in her sleep like this and she never normally had any vivid kind of dreams that she acted out. But right now she was mumbling something he couldn't make out and she was laid on her back which was unusual for her. She had both arms wrapped around her stomach and her knees pulled up like she was in some kind of pain, but Ben couldn't tell if it was pain or the dream making her distressed like this.

When (Y/n)'s features scrunched up like she was in pain, Ben delicately placed his hand on her shoulder, trying carefully to wake her up without causing her any further distress.

"Baby... baby wake up. You're okay, it's okay."

Ben jolted almost as harshly as (Y/n) did when her eyes opened and frantically scanned around until they found his. Her breathing was fast and erratic and for a moment it was like she didn't know where she was.

The frantic look in (Y/n)'s eyes didn't disappear, it seemed to increase when tears started to fall down her features but the moment her hand pressed to her stomach Ben saw it, she looked like she had shocked herself. She started to shake and her breathing got worse to the point he didn't think she was really breathing at all.

Moving his hands, he cupped her face and smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks to try and calm her down.

"Shh, hey just breathe with me, in and out." Ben tried to get (Y/n) to copy his breathing but even though she managed to breathe better, she still looked confused. Whatever she had been dreaming about, she had been stuck in very deep to the point she still wasn't out of the dream yet.

"T-the baby..." (Y/n) didn't know what she was asking or trying to say to Ben but she worried him all the same. He pulled back just enough to be able to look at her baby bump, wondering for a moment if she was in pain or thought something was wrong. He very slowly and cautiously placed his hand over her own that was pressed against her stomach like she was trying to press down and touch the baby or reassure herself that their daughter was really there.

"She's right here, love."

His words didn't calm her down, if anything they made (Y/n)'s tears fall faster as she moved her hands to press down on the bed so she could try and push herself so she was sitting up in bed. Ben moved back so he could sit up properly before helping (Y/n) to sit up, it took a lot out of him to stop himself from crying at how broken and unsettled she seemed, especially when he didn't understand why.

"The blood, t-there's so much blood." (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes before she threw the cover off her frame, running her shaking hands over her legs before looking at the bed. The word 'blood' passed through her lips again and Ben could see the way she was tracing the bed sheet like she thought it would be soaked with blood.

"Baby... there's no blood. You're not bleeding, you're fine I promise you." Ben traced his own fingers over the sheets as if to prove his point before his saddened, worried eyes locked with her own as he waited to see what her reaction would be. "Look, she's still here with us, you're both fine it was just a dream."

Ben moved his hand back to her stomach and started tracing small designs over her skin, trying to prove that he wasn't lying. Nothing had happened to either of them during the night, they hadn't lost their girl and (Y/n) was fine, she wasn't bleeding or in any danger or pain, both his girls were okay. (Y/n) just had some kind of bad dream that was affecting her.

(Y/n) took Ben by surprise when she suddenly pushed herself forward until her head was tucked into Ben's neck and her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. When he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer (Y/n) felt like she was both panicking yet calming down at the same time.

"I- I remembered... the bleeding w-wouldn't stop, it was the furthest I'd got..."

Ben turned his head so he could kiss (Y/n)'s temple, holding her just a bit tighter to try and reassure her she was okay.

Now he understood.

She'd dreamt of when she lost her baby at fourteen weeks, that was when she said the bleeding wouldn't stop for days and Gwilym had to take her to hospital. (Y/n) had never gotten this far in a pregnancy, she'd never gotten to seven months before and it was unnerving her because she knew something could happen at any point and she could lose the baby.

"I d-don't want to lose her-"

"We won't. We've gotten this far and nothing's happened, trust me she's gonna be fine. Our perfect girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raking her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) quickly gathered up the strands and tied a band around her hair to keep it from her features as she made her way over to the door. She hummed a tune as she headed down the hall, wondering who was here. Ben wasn't home so it was unlikely someone was here to see him, they weren't expecting anyone or any deliveries or family or friends over. And (Y/n) couldn't think of anyone who would come to see her considering many of her friends didn't know her new address yet since she had moved in with Ben.

The random melody that (Y/n) was humming abruptly stopped the moment she unlocked the door and looked at who was standing there on the other side of the threshold.

"Gwil." She breathed through the name she didn't want to say anymore due to the memories it provoked.

What was he doing here? Was he here to see Ben, did he know that (Y/n) was living here now and that was the reason he was here? Why would he want to come and talk to (Y/n) considering that the last time they properly spoke it was to argue about how he found out about the baby.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Ben isn't here."

"That's good, because it's you I'm here to see." He looked rather boyish and if not shy with the way he stuffed his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders, looking up at (Y/n) through his lashes with his chin tilted down. It was as if he was afraid she was going to shut the door in his face or shout and tell him to leave. (Y/n) half felt like slamming the door and leaving him there after what had been said between them over the past few months. But Gwilym didn't look angry or hurt or like he was here to start a fight and (Y/n) didn't want anymore fights or hardship between them.

(Y/n) forced a small smile before she pulled the door open all the way to allow him inside. She knew Gwilym knew his way around, he had been to Ben's place before but she saw the way he looked around the hall as he walked in. He looked around like he expected everything to be different or changed because (Y/n) was here, he seemed to think she would waltz right in and change the decor or add pictures or paint the whole house.

"Why are you here?" (Y/n) tried her best not to sound rude or inconsiderate but she didn't want to beat around the bush when they both sat down on the sofa. She wanted to know what he was here for and what they were going to be talking about because she was unnerved that he was here.

(Y/n) didn't know how to act around Gwilym anymore or what she was meant to say or do. Everything felt tainted and wrong and she felt awful that things between them were rocky and uneven but she couldn't change the past and she wouldn't want to. (Y/n) didn't want to change anything with Gwilym but she also didn't want to change what happened with Ben either. Even though things had gone a bit wrong along the way, this was how their lives were planning out and it wasn't all that bad.

"I wanted to see how you are... and to try and patch things up. I knew you wouldn't answer if I rang and I'm not exactly on speaking terms with Ben either." Gwilym rubbed at the back of his neck in a way he always did when he got nervous about something.

"I'm doing okay, but there is a reason we wouldn't answer your calls... Ben told me what you said at the bar and you were pretty angry when I tried talking to you about it."

There was no beating around the bush on this subject. The reason (Y/n) and Ben didn't answer Gwilym's calls or texts was because the last time they had both spoken to him it had ended in arguments. Ben rarely ever lost his temper but on that occasion in the pub he had almost started a fight with Gwilym and after that (Y/n) tried calling him but they only ended in another fight. It seemed easier to just try and ignore his calls and forget about the arguing than to try and make amends which didn't seem or feel at all possible.

"I know, I know what I said and it was wrong, but I was upset. A baby is the reason we broke up and then I found out you were having a baby with him, you didn't even tell me."

"We broke up because we weren't working anymore, it wasn't just about a baby and me and Ben weren't trying for a baby I never led him on like that."

"It felt like you didn't want me to know-"

"Ben wanted to tell you but truthfully I didn't. We were going to tell you but then you found out but I knew the moment you found out this would happen. You would think I was using Ben to my advantage and dumping you because it wasn't working for us."

(Y/n) wasn't stupid, she knew that no amount of time was ever going to help if she did decide to have a baby in the future. Whether it was now or years into the future it was always going to hurt Gwilym if she managed to have a baby because they tried so hard to make it work and it never did. But (Y/n) knew having a baby with Ben so soon after leaving Gwilym was going to make him think she had broken off their engagement so she could find someone else to have a baby with.

"I only said that because I was hurt. I watched you go to all those hospital appointments and come out crying, I sat with you when you took every test and I drove you to hospital when you were so sick I thought you were dying. Then suddenly your pregnant with my friend and you're perfectly fine like you never miscarried at all."

"And that's my fault that this time I haven't lost the baby? Like I planned it out perfectly? Do you know how badly that scared me, that every single time with you I was incapable of doing something every other woman can do and then on the seventh time it worked? And you were the one who hurt me by telling Ben about my miscarriages which should have been my decision to make."

(Y/n) never chose to lose any of the pregnancies with Gwilym, she didn't plan this perfectly so that this one time with Ben would work, it was such horrid yet twistedly perfect luck that (Y/n) seemed fine to have a baby this time around.

As soon as (Y/n) got past the fourteen week marker she knew something was different. It was scary to think that after being with Gwilym for years and losing six pregnancies with him, all (Y/n) had to do was be with Ben for four months and she could get pregnant and have almost nothing go wrong. She knew how that would cut through Gwilym like a knife.

"That was a decision you wouldn't have made and he had to know. What if you lost the baby and were ill again, you were told by the doctor not to try and conceive and even if this wasn't planned you're still putting yourself in harms way. If Ben didn't know and something happened to you I don't think he would forgive you for not telling him."

"That doesn't give you the right to make him suspicious and tell him Gwil. If I told Ben outright from the beginning I'd lost six pregnancies or that the last one hospitalised me that would be it, it wouldn't be my decision to have a baby anymore. He would have told me he wasn't taking the risk like you did and I would have lost any future chance of having a baby with him. I'm not with him to get a baby but it's my choice if I want to take the risk, not yours."

If (Y/n) didn't want to tell Ben it was her decision and if she wanted to wait that was up to her too but Gwilym forced her hand even if he thought he was doing right by her and Ben.

It was clear as day that had Ben of known from the off, he wouldn't have agreed to having any kids with (Y/n). He would have used protection so it couldn't happen because it was a risk to her health and her life and Ben wouldn't take that risk. Ben wouldn't have kids in the future with (Y/n) and he still wasn't going to now after this baby, if (Y/n) said from the beginning then this baby now wouldn't be here. She would be robbed of the chance of being a mother even though the risk was hers to take, not Gwilym's or Ben's.

Ben might of thought that (Y/n) had planned this out as well by not telling him and getting pregnant but (Y/n) thanked the stars that Ben knew and believed that she wasn't trying to use him in any way and that she didn't plan this out.

"Alright, I'm sorry I just... I care about you, I love you and I was scared that this pregnancy would hurt or kill you. And it pains me to see that you're managing to have a baby with someone else, but I am happy for you. I want to put everything behind us and be friends, I don't want to fight anymore."

(Y/n) tipped her head down and rubbed at her tired eyes, trying to rid herself of the headache forming behind her eyes that were welling up with tears. He couldn't say that, he couldn't say after everything that he loved her because he shouldn't. (Y/n) had hurt him by breaking things off with him because she didn't love him anymore and she had hurt him further by falling for his friend and having a baby with him. Gwilym shouldn't love her after everything and he couldn't say he did because that wasn't fair to any of them.

"Then you shouldn't tell me you love me because you-" (Y/n) brought her hand to her mouth and bit down on her thumb when the sound of the front door caught her attention.

"Who loves you?" There was a playful tone to Ben's voice that made (Y/n)'s eyes well with fear as she couldn't bring herself to come up with a response.

Her eyes locked with Gwilym's who looked a mix between calm and terrified because they both knew Ben wasn't going to be very nice when he walked in and saw who was here and put the pieces together. It was as if Gwilym was scared of what was coming but he was still rather calm like he was expecting this to happen sooner or later.

(Y/n) saw the exact moment Ben's face fell, going from a smile to pursed lips and a tight jaw when his teeth bit down tightly on the corner of his lips. His eyes looked bleak and his brows narrowed on Gwilym who tried to keep eye contact but it didn't last for more than a few seconds at most.

"I should have guessed." A sinister, crude grin pulled at Ben's lips for a few seconds as he cocked a brow at Gwilym like he wanted him to challenge him or apologise or just say something so Ben could bite back at him. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Maybe I should go-"

"Why are you even here in the first place?" Ben snapped back like a crocodile taking a shot at its prey. He stood beside the side of the sofa (Y/n) was sitting on but he felt awkward in his own home like he had walked in on something and should leave.

"Ben, it's- it's okay, he wanted to talk and sort things out."

"What, and telling you he loves you sorts this out? I thought that would complicate things and make them worse but maybe I should just go instead." Ben couldn't fathom how Gwilym saying he still loves (Y/n) would sort this mess out, it made things worse rather than building the bridges that had been burned between them all. But maybe Ben was missing something or he shouldn't be here and should just let them work this out.

"No, it doesn't sort this out and maybe I shouldn't have just said that but I can't lie and say I don't still love her."

"But you can't come here and say that. Do you honestly think telling her you still love her with make a difference or make things better? You were out of order practically shouting at her down the phone and implying to both of us you thought she was playing me but then to come round and say you love her is cruel."

Ben didn't care why Gwilym said the things he did or how this had affected him because what he was saying and doing weren't okay. He couldn't keep telling (Y/n) he loved her and then be angry with her, he knew she didn't love him and he knew that he had no chance of being with her when she was happy with Ben and was having a baby. If he wanted to be on good terms with her and Ben he had to stop this now.

"I've already tried talking to (Y/n) about this I don't want to argue with either of you and what I said was wrong I know that but I can't take back what I said when I was hurt-"

"I don't give a shit what you've already said, you're sorry for what you said but you wouldn't accept me or (Y/n) saying we were sorry for hurting you by being together. You're a hypocrite and a lovesick puppy Gwil and if you want to be on good terms your going about it in the wrong way."

"Ben that's enough."

(Y/n) sighed through her words before she pushed herself up from the sofa and moved to stand beside Ben like she thought he was going to lunge at Gwilym any second now. What he said made sense but Gwilym was here to make amends and (Y/n) was sick of the fighting and the arguments and the pain they were causing each other. She just wanted it to stop and another fight wasn't going to make things any better.

"Gwil, I think it's time you left. If you want to make amends then you have to move on." (Y/n) knew that the only way they could all make things better was for them to keep the past behind them. She and Ben weren't blameless but they were trying and if Gwilym tried to move on too he would find things so much easier. He could move on with someone else and be happy and they could all try and be civil with each other.

Gwilym nodded and stood to his feet, moving around the sofa to head in the direction of the front door but his expression made (Y/n) rather worried. He had something to say, something on his mind and although he was usually good at biting his tongue and dropping and not starting arguments, it seemed to be rather hard for him to do that today. He got into the hallway and close to the door before he turned to look at (Y/n), knowing she was following to walk him out.

"It feels near impossible to move on after everything we went through and it's harder than I ever thought it would be to try and move on when I know you've finally got the family you wanted without me. I feel like you've left me behind, but I know I can't expect you to understand that, given how quickly you decided to move on and how easy you found it to be with someone else. You may not have intended to have the baby but you certainly got what you wanted."

He knew it was wrong to be angry that (Y/n) was finally able to have the baby she had wanted but it hurt to know she could have that wish without him and with someone Gwilym was close to.

"I think there's a reason for that."

Gwilym had been so close, he had opened the door and was so close to walking out and not looking back or letting this form into another argument but when he heard Ben's voice he had to stop and look over his shoulder. He had to know what Ben was referring to before he left, just like a fish, Gwilym took the bait Ben was throwing his way.

"What?"

Ben looked down at (Y/n) who was stood in front of him and it was as if she knew what he was going to say. There was a warning look in her eyes and she shook her head, they didn't need an argument but Ben was too riled up to stop now.

"Think about it. All those years with you and all the times you tried for a baby and it never worked. Then (Y/n) got with me and look where we are. No doctor could find anything wrong with her and we didn't even have to fucking try to get pregnant. I'd say that means there's something wrong with you if all it takes is a few months with me to have a baby."

A shudder ran down (Y/n)'s spine at Ben's rather cruel words towards Gwilym but she would be wrong if she said she didn't think about that even once during this pregnancy. Deep down (Y/n) was sure there had to be something wrong because she lost each pregnancy without cause and even this time she lost a twin even if nothing else had gone wrong during this pregnancy.

But Ben was right when he said that they didn't even have to try to get pregnant or have this pregnancy work. With Gwilym they tried hard to have a baby and make sure nothing went wrong but they could never prevent any of the miscarriages.

"Don't you dare go down that road-"

"Why not? It's a fair assumption considering there isn't anything wrong with (Y/n) because that means it should probably be you, right? If all it took to have a viable pregnancy was me then she should have fucked me years ago and saved you the trouble."

(Y/n) took a step back when Gwilym slammed the door shut out of anger and Ben took a few steps closer to him like he wanted a fight but his head briefly turned to look at (Y/n) when she grabbed his arm. She was not having a fight break out no matter how angry any of them were, it wasn't worth it and she wasn't in the mood to play referee. What Ben said was cruel and out of order just like what Gwilym had said before about (Y/n) and she had been wrong in wanting to wait to tell Gwilym about the baby. They had all been and were all wrong at some point but it had to stop now.

"That is enough! Gwilym, you need to leave. Now. And you need to go and cool off because that was uncalled for and beyond cruel."

The moment Gwilym left and slammed the door so harshly behind him that it almost came off its hinges, (Y/n) took a moment to catch her breath before she dared to follow Ben who had stormed into the kitchen in a rage. He was stood leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen, a look of unfiltered anger on his face that (Y/n) had never seen before.

"Why did you have to say that? He may have been wrong about saying he loved me but there was no need for you to say something like that."

"I said it because I think it's true." Ben folded his arms over his chest, leaning his hips back against the counter as his head turned to the side to look over at (Y/n) with raised brows. His response seemed to have taken her by surprise, but not in a good way. "He was spiteful when he told me about your miscarriages and he was pissed we got to fifteen weeks but neither of you think about it like it is. There isn't anything wrong with you (Y/n), no medical issues whatsoever and we're seven months along and you've had no problems-"

"I still lost a baby this time Ben, remember?" (Y/n)'s tone was bitter but it had no effect on Ben like he hadn't heard her.

"You had vanishing twin syndrome which is common, other than that you've been fine. No other bleeding, no pain, no problems with the baby or how she's growing, everything is picture perfect without Gwil in the picture and you think that's normal? It might not be true and something might be wrong with you but if he can say spiteful shit why can't I?"

Ben grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a long sip before he leaned back against the counter.

He could be wrong and he knew that, there was no evidence or proof or proper suspicion that there was something wrong with Gwilym or that him and (Y/n) just weren't compatible to have a baby. But Ben found it odd that he and (Y/n) were this far along on their first try with a baby and there had been nothing seriously wrong at all. Ben was glad nothing had gone wrong but it just made him wonder why, he wondered why they were so special that this attempt was finally working and paying off for (Y/n).

With a shake of her head, (Y/n) grabbed her previously forgotten drink from the counter before she turned on her heels and went to walk away. But she stopped when she caught what Ben whispered in such a malice, sinister joking way which left her speechless.

"Six failed attempts before you get a baby. Come fuck me ladies, guaranteed to work first time."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #BoRhap #imagine #dad! ben #gwilym lee #gwilym imagine #heartbeat

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cherrybracelets · 5 years

Text

Silver Linings (Chapter 1)

pairing: nurse!ben hardy x reader ; lawyer!gwilym lee x reader

summary: after just breaking up with your boyfriend of 6 years, gwilym, you find yourself sulking in a bar being chatted up by a handsome young blonde, ben

word count: 4k / warnings: 18+!!! smut!!!! also mentions of getting sick, drinking, and pregnancy

AN: okay i know this is my second fic I’m working on currently but guys this one is gonna be sooooo good I’m so excited to share it with you. love u all❤️

It wasn’t the worst bar in the East Village. It wasn’t the best, either. You had been to both the worst, and the best. This was medium. In between. The drinks were good and cheap, but the crowd was mostly middle aged men drinking away the troubles of marriage. The nice thing was, everyone seemed so preoccupied with their own bullshit that no one saw you sulking in the corner, nursing your third soda water.

You slurped down the last sip of it, making a loud obnoxious sound. The bartender walked over to you and smiled, taking the empty cup away.

“Are you sure I can’t get you something a little stronger than that? It looks like you need it,” he motioned at the bottles of alcohol behind him, his face filled with pity. I’m sure he was used to treating people with pity at a place like this. Everyone had something that lead them here.

“I can’t. I’m pregnant.” You pointed at your stomach, which wasn’t showing yet, and looked back at the bartender. “So just another one of these. It gives me the allusion that I’m drinking.”

“I’m guessing this wasn’t a planned pregnancy, then?” He asked, pouring you another drink.

“Not at all. And it all happened in this bar, by the way. So I blame you.”

“You got pregnant in my bar?”

“No, no. Gross. No. I just met the man that got me pregnant in this bar. And it fucked my life up.”

“I’m sorry about that. Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s a long story...”

“I have plenty of time.”

You took a long sip of the drink in front of you, and placed a hand on your belly. You were sure the bartender could actually care less about your situation, and was just looking for a little extra tip, but you needed to tell your story. You needed someone unbiased to hear it. Someone who wasn’t Ben or Gwil or your parents. Someone who could give you their opinion, without already having an opinion going in.

“Alright, well like I said, it all started in this bar. About four months ago...”

The night in question four months ago was almost exactly the same as tonight. Except you were drinking alcohol. And a lot of it. And you were sad. Very sad.

And then he walked in. A handsome blonde, also bearing a sad face. This was a bar for sad people, it seemed. He walked up next to you and took a seat, clearly not understanding the ‘Let Me Sulk In Peace’ vibe you were trying so hard to give off.

He flagged down the bartender and said “Can I get a gin and tonic, and get her another of whatever she’s having.”

“Thanks, but I’m alright. I probably shouldn’t.” You smiled nicely at him, hoping he would get the message, but also secretly hoping he wouldn’t leave. The company of a handsome stranger was nice.

“I can tell by the look on your face you need another. I know that because we currently have very similar looks on our faces.” The bartender placed both of the drinks down in front of you and you hastily grabbed yours, taking a large sip and letting it burn your throat.

“Why are you drinking tonight, handsome blonde stranger?”

He giggled, and took a sip of his drink. “You can call me Ben. And I’m drinking because I didn’t get a job I was really hoping for.” He took another sip, and sighed. He shook the ice in his cup around, watching it intently. “Why are you drinking?”

“I just got dumped.” You raised your glass in the air and laughed. “Six years of my life, just gone. We were supposed to get married. We talked about it! But apparently a job in San Francisco is more important than all of that.”

“Did he ask you to come with him?”

“Of course. But I can’t give up my life here. I love my job, and my friends. My family isn’t too far, either. I’m not a Rachel, I won’t give up my life for a guy.”

Ben took another sip of his drink, and looked directly at you. He was very handsome, almost like a model. It was kind of stupid how good looking he was. Maybe you were just drunk, but you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at the perfectly chiseled angles of his face.

“I didn’t catch your name.” He raised his eyebrows in question, waiting for an answer.

“Sorry. It’s (Y/N).” You stuck your hand out in front of you, smiling brightly. He took your hand gently in his, and it sent shivers through your body.

Ben drank the rest of his gin and tonic in one swallow, and swiftly ordered another. You were still working on yours, trying to drink a little slower, because things were definitely getting a bit fuzzy.

Your brain kept taking you back to thoughts of your relationship, to thoughts of Gwil. You weren’t mad at him, you didn’t hate him at all. You loved him, to be completely honest. And you missed him.

You had spent six years of your life with him. You honestly he thought he would be your be all end all. You had told him the kinds of engagement rings you liked, your kids names were picked out... God, you lived together! What the hell were you going to do?

"Do you want to talk about anything? It looks like you want to talk." Ben turned his body to face you, his eyes wide and full of kindness. He clearly needed a friend right now, and honestly so did you. Although you usually put up a cold front to strangers, maybe this should be the time you break down your walls.

"I do want to talk, but not about this. I'm not ready." You felt your face get hot, the rush of tears coming up, but you managed to take a deep breath and swallow your emotions. Whatever you did, you were not going to cry in front of this guy. You weren't at that level yet.

"Well, do you want to hear about my problems?" He asked, laughing loudly as he took another large sip of his drink.

"I'd love to hear about anything as long as it doesn't involve Gwil."

"I take it that's your ex?"

"Yes. And that's all you get to know for now," you winked. "Talk to me about you."

"Well, as you know, I didn't get my dream job. But it's a bit more complicated than that, you see..." he took a large sigh and swirled the ice in his drink around, his blue eyes catching the neon lights of the various beer signs around the bar.

"My roommate secretly applied for the job and got it. I guess he was better suited for it than me... but the thing that pisses me off was that he knew how much I wanted that job... I had talked about it all the time." Ben's cheeks turned a bright red, a rush of anger and frustration coming over him. He balled his fists up and dug his nails into his palms to stop him from crying. It made you feel a little better about almost breaking down in front of him.

You reached your hand out and set it on his knee, offering just the lightest touch to let him know he was not alone. He smiled at you, although it was barely a grin, but he did the best he could. He was thankful for you, too. He just couldn't say it at the moment.

"I'm so sorry. That's terrible. People can be so..."

"Selfish," he said, finishing your sentence exactly as you had thought it. "I kicked him out, I couldn't bare to see him everyday after what he did. I'm sure he was planning on moving out anyways but... I won't lie, it felt a little bad ass to kick him out." Ben smiled, this time a full and meaningful smile.

You and Ben sat and talked for about another hour. You both tried to avoid the things that brought you together in the first place, but every once in a while something would come up and you couldn't stop yourself from talking about Gwil. Ben had finally caught up to you on number of drinks, and you saw him release a little bit of anger one sip at a time.

"Thank you, for chatting with me." You smiled gently at Ben, really feeling like you were a little better off now than you were when you walked in.

"Thank you, too. I needed this." Ben stood up, and you finally realized just how attractive he was. His arm muscles were bulging through the sleeves of his shirt, and his thighs went on for days. Again, this may be the alcohol talking, but your brain was thinking about doing a lot of things to him.

You stood up as well, realizing it was probably good to get out of here while you were feeling this happy. To your surprise, Ben wrapped his arms around you and gave you a hug. You were shocked at first, but quickly melted into his arms and let yourself feel something other than pain. He was warm, and strong. He smelled like lemons, and it reminded you of the stuff your mom used to clean the kitchen with in the house you grew up in. You buried your head deep in the nape of his neck and absorbed him for a moment, letting him wash over you.

When you finally decided to let go of him, it felt like ripping away a band aid. You didn't want to do it, but you didn't have a choice. You couldn't stay here forever, just holding him. But in that moment, if you could've, you would've. You guys walked outside together, the sky dark but the streets still illuminated by life going on around you. The smell of street food and cigarettes filled your nose, and you got a queasy feeling.

"You alright?" Ben put a hand on your shoulder, looking at you with concerned eyes.

"Yes, just need some water. And possibly a snack," you said.

"Let me take you home," he blurted, and then laughed a bit, before saying, "Not like that, I mean. I just have food there, and water of course. And you said you were just going to stay in a hotel for a few weeks until Gwil moved. I'd much rather have you somewhere safe."

"And you're the safe option? I just met you like an hour and a half ago, Ben. That's crazy dangerous." You laughed, and raised your eyebrows at Ben.

"I'm not a serial killer, I swear it," he teased, putting a hand on your cheek and holding your face in his hand. You looked at him for a moment, taking a deep breath of city air. And then you leaned in and kissed him. You kissed him intensely, your lips taking charge and telling him where to go. He wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you closer to him, his body pressing against every inch of yours. His tongue moved about aggressively in your mouth- he was not holding back. He wanted you, every inch of you, and you wanted him, too.

When you got to his place, he walked you through the door and immediately started kissing you again, barely giving himself time to lock the door. He pulled his shirt off quickly, revealing a nearly perfect body.

You started giggling and Ben looked confused, shielding himself with his arms.

"What's wrong?" He nervously asked.

"Oh, god, nothing! I'm sorry... it's just amazing. You're amazing. Good work God." You ran a hand over his stomach and giggled again. Ben just laughed at you and rolled his eyes before picking you up and bringing you into his bedroom. He took your clothes off quickly, desperation and need taking over his thoughts. He kissed down your stomach and finally reached your center, devouring you like a midnight snack. He made you cum twice before finally stopping to kiss you again. He hovered above you, kissing you and biting at your lips.

"Can I?" He asked, his tip placed right at your opening. You nodded and smiled, bucking your hips towards him. He pushed into you slowly at first, letting you take a moment to get adjusted to him.

"Go faster," you moaned, ready to have him. He quickly started pumping in and out, his hands dug deep into the sides of your hips. He continued to kiss you, although after a few minutes he asked you to turn around and put your ass up for him, which you did without question. He slapped your ass hard, making you squeal with pleasure. He continued pumping faster and harder until he came. He flopped down next to you and kissed you again, this time much slower and with less energy.

"Wow..." you muttered, breathing heavily and wiping sweat off your forehead.

"You should stay here... with me..." He turned on his side and faced you, wrapping his fingers in your hair.

"I already said I would. Besides, I don't think I'm walking tonight." You winked at him and kissed him again, just for a few seconds.

"I know you are tonight... I meant until you get your place back. Until he moves out. Just stay here."

"Let's talk about it tomorrow... you're not in the right state of mind to be asking me that kind of question..."

"Alright, fine. But I'll still feel the same way in the morning." Ben kissed you once more, and then rolled on his back. You were both asleep within minutes, the emotions of the day, and the alcohol, finally getting the better of you.

So, the next morning you and Ben both decided that you would stay with him for a few weeks. And things were great. You loved living with Ben, he was respectful of your privacy but also knew when to bother you. It had been about four weeks now, and you had only about a week left before you were going to go back home. Although you would miss Ben, you were ready to be back in your place.

You were both hanging out tonight, just watching a movie, ordering takeout. You usually didn't like Indian, but it was all you were craving the past week, so you ordered Bens favorite and a lot for yourself. You were scrolling through Netflix looking for a movie when the doorbell rang.

"I got it Ben, it's probably the food," you yelled to Ben, who was finishing up some work in his room. You walked over to the door and opened it excitedly, your stomach growling at the thought of eating. But it wasn't takeout. It was Gwil, standing in your doorway, cheeks flushed and eyes red and watery.

"What the... how did you..." you stood, baffled, trying to comprehend what was happening. Gwil had tried to contact you multiple times over the past month, but you decided it would be best not to answer. He was leaving, and you needed to do your best to break the connection.

"I called your mum... she told me you were here. I'm sorry to do that I just... had to see you." Gwil looked exhausted and desperate, falling apart at the seems.

"Gwil... why are you here? You're leaving in just a few days... I don't think I can do this." You felt your heart pounding, and your eyes were tearing up at the sight of him. You wanted to hug him, hold him. He looked so broken, just like you.

"I'm not leaving, not anymore."

"What do you mean you're not leaving?" You shook your head in confusion, about to ask more questions when Ben walked out of his room.

"Hey sweets, is the food here?" Ben stopped in his tracks when he saw Gwil, the look on his face changing instantly.

"Is this the guy you've been staying with?" Gwil asked, his eyes examining Ben. "Yes... he's a friend," you whispered, trying to break the tension between the two.

"How come I never met him when we were together?"

"I met him after we broke up..."

"Oh, bloody hell (Y/N)... you're staying with a stranger? He could be anyone, he could be dangerous..." Gwil shook his head, judgement and worry on his mind.

"I think you better stay in your lane, mate... I was the one that took care of her when you left her alone." Ben walked closer to you, puffing his chest to try and look more intimidating.

"Stop, Ben. Let me handle this, please. Gwil, can we talk in private, in my bedroom?" You motioned for Gwil to follow you, and he nodded and walked in your direction, not taking his eyes off Ben until it was impossible for him to look anymore. You and Gwil walked into your room and you sat down on the bed, throwing your face in your hands and sobbing.

"Love... I am so sorry. I fucked up so bad... I messed everything up. But I am still in love with you, and nothing, no job... nothing is worth leaving you. Please, you have to forgive me... I'm falling apart. I've never been this unhappy." Gwil started crying, a sight that you had only seen a few times in your relationship. He really was broken, and so were you.

"I miss you so much. Every day... I love you, Gwil. I want to come home with you."

Gwil cupped your face in his hands and kissed you, smiling as he did.

"Come home, baby. Come home."

You found out in the bathroom at work. You knew it, though. Or at least you knew something was wrong. You had only been back home with Gwil for about a week and a half, and almost that whole time you'd been puking and exhausted. All it took was the two little lines to confirm your suspicions. You were pregnant, probably a little over a month along if you had to guess. And that meant it was with Ben's baby. You were almost certain of it, and the thought made you... confused. You didn't know how exactly you felt, but you knew you were terrified.

Your brain was fuzzy, and you had to get out of there. So you told your boss you were sick and had to leave immediately. They didn't question it, because they could tell by the look on your face you were serious. You got on the subway and just stood, staring at the anti-vaping poster in front of you. You missed your stop, but you couldn't go home anyways. You couldn't tell Gwil. You couldn't tell anyone. So you got off at the next stop, which so happened to be Bens, but you didn't really realize where you had gone until you found yourself staring at his front door, waiting to knock.

And you knocked. And he came to the door, a bit surprised to see you, still a little mad that you chose to go back to Gwil, but he would never tell you that to your face. He knew you were upset, he saw it in your eyes. He was very good at reading you, and it scared you a bit. It was like he knew you for a very long time.

"Ben..." you muttered, tearing at the hangnails on your fingertips. "I have to tell you something. And I don't know what I am going to do, yet. But I need you to know."

Ben just nodded at you and whispered, "You can tell me anything."

"I'm pregnant."

You both were silent for a few moments, and Ben cracked his knuckles.

"It's mine?" He asked, his eyes tearing up.

"Yes... I'm sorry. I know it's not what you want. I don't expect anything from you... I just... think it might be what I want... and I need you to know." You felt tears streaming down your face now, and saw tears on Bens, too. You figured he was angry, and frustrated. But you weren't very good at reading people, you weren't like him.

"Whatever you decide... I am here for you. I want to be apart of this, whatever it is. And if he... if he turns you away, you both always have a place with me." Ben stood up and hugged you again, much like the hug he gave you the first night you met him. You melted into his warmth, and the two of you stood there for a long time.

"I need to go home... I need to tell him." You looked at Ben and kissed his cheek, before walking towards the door.

"Please call me..." he spoke. You nodded and walked out the door, heading home.

You walked through the door of your apartment, hoping somehow Gwil would not be home, but he was, and you had to face up to this now. You walked into his office where he was laid up with papers everywhere and his laptop whirring away. He smiled up at you and then frowned, noticing the obvious distress on your face.

"You alright?" He questioned, setting down his pen and shifting in his chair.

"We need to talk..."

You told Gwil everything. You told him about the night you met Ben in the bar, about the type of relationship you had with him... and the pregnancy. He was quiet for most of it, just nodding along and biting his lip occasionally.

"Gwil... I don't think I can give up this baby. I want it... as terrified as it makes me, I want this. And I know it's not what you want, I get that. I'm not asking you to be involved. But I do love you, and if you want to be apart of my life somehow I... want you to be there." You felt yourself wanting to cry again, but it seemed your body had used all its supply of tears, because nothing would come out.

"What about... him? Does he know?" Gwil looked you directly in the eyes and refused to look away.

"He does. And he wants to be involved." You looked away from him, unable to handle his gaze.

"Okay." Gwil sat back in his chair and looked at the ceiling, blowing air out of his mouth. "Do you remember what I wrote to you in the card I gave you on our First Year anniversary?"

"Of course... I have it framed in my office."

"I said, no matter what, I would love you. No matter what, you were mine and I was yours. I'd always be there every night to tell you I love you and every morning to do the same..." Gwil looked at you again, this time his eyes soft. "I may have messed that up a bit ago, but I'm not going to again. You and me belong together. If this is what you want, and you still want to be together, we will make it work. Somehow."

"Gwil... you don't have to... this is a lot..."

"My love, life is a lot. It will take me some time to process this all but... I am not going to walk away." He took your hands in his and squeezed, smiling lovingly at you. He really was the perfect person, you couldn't believe he was going to stay with you.

"So, it's been about a month since I told them both. None of us have told our parents, we're not... exactly sure how to explain it. But I am here, again, and I'm exhausted." You took another sip of your drink and smiled at the bartender, who was trying to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry about all that... I wish I knew what to tell you..."

"Thanks. I should get home, soon. How much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house, tonight. It's just soda. You deserve a bit of a break, anyways." You thanked him and left the bar, walking outside to another night of city life. You felt your phone vibrate in your bag and grabbed it to see Gwil calling.

"Hey, love," you answered.

"Hey, just checking when you'll be home? Wanted to go over some stuff for tomorrows appointment."

"Heading over now."

"Alright, see you in a few. I love you."

Gwil hung the phone up before you got a chance to say I love you back, but he knew. Just as you were putting your phone back in your bag, you got a text from Ben.

"Which crib do you like better?" He asked, attaching two photos of very pricey cribs he found.

You smiled, your heart fluttering at the sight of Ben being a father. Future father, you should say.

'Fuck,' you thought to yourself. 'I am so fucked.'

#queen #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy #gwilym lee #ben hardy fanfiction #gwilym lee x reader #fanfiction #ben hardy x reader #gwilym lee fanfiction

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crazy-little-cool-cat · 5 years

Text

Hand in Glove - Chapter 30 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: Wow, y’all! We did it! We’re at the last Hand in Glove chapter! What a ride it’s been, am I right? Enjoy this one. I tried to tie off most of the loose ends, buuuuuuut you know how I am. Expect the unexpected. There might be a sequel after Gold Digger’s done.

Warnings: fluff that’ll rot your teeth and the usual stuff.

Word count: who gives a duck?!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22 , Chapter 23 , Chapter 24, Chapter 25 , Chapter 26, Chapter 27 , Chapter 28 , Chapter 29

Annie drove home on auto-pilot. Her mind felt like it’s sinking in quicksand. She's pregnant, again. She didn't plan to be pregnant, again. She needed to figure out how to tell Ben about it, again. This time was different, though. It wasn’t quite as scary as the last one. It wasn’t quite as upsetting. Deep down, it was actually exciting.

When she got home, she walked about in a daze, going from room to room. Trying to locate her partner in crime and his superhuman sperm cells. Passing by the glass doors to the back garden, she found him tossing a ball for Frankie to fetch and having a smoke.

She opened the glass doors and caught his attention. He beamed at her, looking over his shoulder.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's nice," Ben said, almost robotically, tossing the ball and watching Frankie chase after it. "Wait, what?"

"I'm pregnant," Annie repeated, "my eggo is preggo, Ben."

"As in, pregnant? Pregnant?" Ben stared at her. The cigarette fell from between his fingers. “Is it mine?”

"Of course it's yours, you wanker!"

"But you -" Ben started and stopped. " - and the -"

"Yeah, it turns out I'm one of the 0.8% it doesn't work for."

"Is it... it is still up there?"

"No. Dr. McCarthy took it out."

"How far along -"

"8 weeks."

"You're not pulling my leg?" Ben felt dizzy. Weak. "You're not taking a sick piss?"

"I'm pregnant, Ben." Annie started to smile and took his hand. She placed it right under her bellybutton. "Your almighty, ultra-strong, wicked swimmers are unstoppable."

###

"You're wearing jewelry now?" Joe snickered and pointed at Ben's hand. "Did Hollywood affect you that much?"

Ben looked down at his hand and smiled. With Annie at work and Rory at daycare, he told the boys to come over to his house. It was time for him to break the news, now that they were back, well-slept and no longer jet-lagged.

"Oh, this ring has nothing to do with Hollywood," Ben smirked, "could one of you text Rami and see where he is? Anyone fancy a beer?"

Gwilym and Joe exchanged confused looks at Ben's fussiness and nodded. Ben was visibly nervous or excited about something and they could tell. Right from the moment he greeted them at the door.

"Help yourselves, gentlemen," Ben placed two six-packs on the living room coffee table and opened his own beer bottle. He bounced his knee as the three waited for Rami to join them. They busied themselves with idle chit-chat. They tried holding press-tour stories off for when all four will be present. When the doorbell finally rang, Ben sprung to his feet and almost ran for the door.

"Right, so of course I want to hear all about the press tour," Ben started as Rami sat down with his own beer bottle. "I have to break some serious news first."

"Oh... kay..." Rami glanced sideways at Joe as he took a sip from his beer.

"Annie and I got married."

The silence was deafening. You could hear a pin drop. Rami, Gwilym, and Joe stared at Ben, frowning and blinking.

"Did you lace this beer with something?" Gwilym finally asked.

"Nope." Ben tried to keep a serious expression on his face as he raised his hand and wiggled his fingers. He pointed at his ring finger with the other hand. "See? Wedding ring."

"When you say 'Annie and I got married'," Gwil scratched at his bearded chin, "what do you mean, exactly?"

"We're legally married." Ben rephrased his previous statement. "Went through the whole process, jumped through all the hoops. Brian, Roger and Jamie were our witnesses."

"When?" Gwil cocked his head.

"Three weeks ago."

"Was it on a whim?" Joe looked hurt. "Did you just decide to elope, just like that?"

"No. We planned it, very carefully."

"And you told no one because...?" Rami's beer-holding hand hovered halfway to his mouth.

"Annie insisted on it."

"Huh." Gwilym leaned back and rubbed his thighs. "That's..."

"A lot." Rami mused.

"We're also pregnant again." Ben blurted out and busied his mouth with his beer bottle again.

"He totally laced this with something," Joe announced and leaned forward. Anger etched on his features. "What the actual fuck did you just say?!"

"Calm down, Joe." Gwilym said and put a hand on Joe's shoulder.

"We're pregnant. Well, Annie is."

"What do you mean, she's pregnant?" Rami laughed nervously.

"Well, Rami," Ben smirked, "when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much -"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Joe's hands flailed.

###

"And cut! We got it!!!"

Annie slumped her shoulders and stopped weeping, relieved that she didn’t have to run through the whole scene again.

Anne, her character, apprehended and jailed in the Tower of London, listened to the accusations against her. Upon hearing the long list of men who testified against her - one of which was her own brother - she broke down. The scene drained Annie and took 12 takes to get right. She felt dehydrated, puffy and very, very tired.

"You're pregnant?"

The entire set fell silent, all looking from Clara to Annie in utter shock. A lighting fixture creaked as it swung back and forth. An intern dropped a script to the floor. The thud reverberated around the large space.

Annie stared at her best friend, gobsmacked.

"Annie, you're pregnant and you didn't tell me?" Clara stomped over to her, eyes shooting daggers. Her costume rustling as she skipped over carefully camouflaged cords. "The secret wedding - fine, it's whatever. But this?!"

"Clara, this isn't the time nor the place to -" Annie stammered out, feeling her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Fuck that!" Clara snapped. "Annie, what the hell?"

###

"So there will be an actual wedding?" Gwilym verified for the fifth time.

"Yes!" Ben groaned. "God!"

"And baby number two is due in...?"

"30 weeks."

"Wow." Rami fiddled with the label on his beer bottle. "Wow."

"Yeah." Joe huffed. "Big wow."

Ben's cheeks flushed crimson red. He felt like his parents were cross with him for being naughty. He didn't know if this was just shock or actual outrage at that point. He raked his fingers through his blond mop of hair, feeling quite ashamed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner." Ben almost mumbled. "It's been really hard to keep everything secret. I almost spilled the beans three times. I wanted you guys to be in on it but -"

"But the Supreme Leader had other plans." Joe shook his head. "I get it. I'm fucking pissed, man, but I get it."

"We are happy for you, you know." Rami pursed his lips. "Just... overwhelmed with all the news."

"How did your parents take it?" Gwilym wondered.

"We told them the next day." Ben recounted. "They were confused at first, not sure if we're kidding or not. Then, they were angry with me for hiding it and doing it like... that. The pregnancy reconciled them. They're over the moon."

###

"10 weeks?" Clara barked, pacing back and forth in Annie's trailer. "Ten whole bloody weeks?!"

"Yep." Annie pursed her lips and nodded sheepishly. "Ten whole weeks."

"Annie, why?" Clara stopped, planting her hands on her hips. "Why aren't you telling me anything anymore? And let me guess-” Clara’s upper lip curled in a menacing snarl, “ -Jamie knew all along!"

"Actually he didn't," Annie interjected. "You kind of announced it to the world with your little outburst on the set."

"Why would you keep secrets from me?" Clara's voice sounded almost whiney. "We're best friends since... forever!"

"Because these are the things I needed to not jinx, okay?" Annie explained, subconsciously resting a hand on her belly. "I know it's just superstition but ill-wishers are -"

"God, Annie!" Clara groaned. "Fuck the ill-wishers! Fuck you as well!

Pounding on Annie's trailer door interrupted the two. Clara marched over and opened it, quickly pushed aside by Mike and Jamie.

"You've got some explaining to do." Mike pointed at her.

###

Anne Boleyn prepared herself for this - her execution - multiple times. The Hangman of Calais's arrival was pushed back due to weather and travel conditions. She joked with her ladies in waiting, earlier on in the day, talking about her little neck. Keeping up appearances. The show must go on!

She stepped onto the scaffold on the morning of May 19th, 1536. Escorted by Sir William Kingston, her jailer, Anne left the Tower's royal palace for the last time. The same place she slept in right before her coronation. Her crimson outfit trimmed with ermine, she made sure everyone present knew her status. Her reason for dying. She clasped her hands and took a step forward.

“Good Christian people,” Anne started shakily, “I have not come here to preach a sermon. I have come here to die." Anne took a shaky breath and squared her shoulders. "For, according to the law and by the law, I am judged to die," her voice carried as the crowd listened silently."And, therefore, I will speak nothing against it."

The crowd was mute as they solemnly listened to their Queen speaking her final words.

"I am come hither to accuse no man, nor to speak of that whereof I am accused and condemned to die," Anne looked at the peoples' faces. "But I pray: God save the King and send him long to reign over you!"

A small smile tugging at Anne’s lips as she watched the memories play out in her mind’s eye. "For a gentler, nor a more merciful prince was there never, and to me he was ever a good, a gentle, and sovereign lord." Pausing, she looked up at the sky, for one last time. "And if any person will meddle of my cause, I require them to judge the best." A tear rolled down her cheek, quickly brushed away. "And thus, I take my leave of the world and of you all, and I heartily desire you all to pray for me.”

Anne kneeled at the scaffold. Distracting her and making her look away from him and his sword, the executioner beheaded the queen with one stroke.

"And cut! That's a wrap!"

Annie heaved a sigh of relief and felt her hands shaking as she clutched at her little baby bump, almost showing. Her last scene is over. Greensleeves is finally finished.

Ben clapped furiously, hooting and hollering for his wife as she got up off the wooden scaffold. Her speech - Anne’s speech - although he had heard it more than a hundred times at that point had still managed to wring his heart and guts. It never ceased to amaze him how Annie and Anne sort of merged together. One mixing in with the other. Annie’s vows echoed in his ears. ‘I will kill for you and die for you.’

‘Oi, Jones!” Annie snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Earth to Jonesy!”

“You were amazing up there.” Ben smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “Breathtaking.”

“Let’s go celebrate!” Annie beamed up at him. “There’s cake!”

“Shall we, then,” Ben bend his arm and waited for Annie to hook hers with his, “my lady Greensleeves?”

###

Other than the odd work-related trip and appearance, Ben and Annie were honeymooning at home. They watched Annie’s baby bump, Pookie, grow. They watched Rory learn how to walk, talk. Turn into a tiny little human.

Annie laid back on the sofa, her head in Ben’s lap. His fingers idly twirled locks of her hair as they watched whatever was on the telly. Grateful to have the house for themselves. Learning every curve and edge of each other’s body after dropping Rory off at daycare. Nesting and preparing a bedroom for Rory and remodelling the nursery for the new baby.

“D’you think it’s a boy this time?” Annie wondered and looked up at her husband.

“Dunno.” He shrugged. “Do you want it to be?”

“I think so, yeah.” Annie looked down at her little bump. “Pookie, give us a hint.”

“Maybe there’s two -”

“Ben Jones, I will kill you.”

“I’m joking!” He laughed and tugged on her hair gently. “However many there are in there, I’ll love them.”

“What about names?” Annie started to sit up so she could turn around and face Ben. “Thought of any?”

“Well, Henry for a boy.” Ben shrugged.

“Really?” Annie snorted. “Henry?”

“Yes.” Ben nodded proudly. “Name fit for a king!”

“Right.”

“Why, do you have better ideas?” Ben scoffed.

“Richard.” Annie suggested. “Also a king.”

“Meh.”

“John.”

“John?” Ben looked at her as if she went mad. “John Jones?”

“Yes. Our little Jay Jay.” Annie cooed jokingly and nuzzled Ben’s nose with hers.

“Alexander.” Ben offered and rolled his eyes when Annie frowned. “What?!”

“We already have two A’s, Ben!” Annie pouted. “Annie. Aurora.”

“William.” Ben shrugged.

“Sounds to much like Gwilym.” Annie retorted. “What!”

“How?”

“Just - ugh! Not William.”

“Fine. Christopher?”

“Sounds like a Winnie the Pooh character. Christopher Jones.” Annie grimaced. “Peter?”

“No. Not Roger, either. Or Warren!”

“Mark?” Annie suggested.

“Might as well name it Galileo.” Ben scoffed. “Man, this better be a baby girl.”

###

Annie brushed her teeth before bed, happy to know that the baby’s heart is beating and there is only one of those beating hearts in her womb. She just finished rinsing when Ben entered the bathroom. He stood behind her as she bent over for the sink and held onto her hips.

“Seriously?” Annie looked up at him through the mirror, water dripping down her chin.

Ben bit his bottom lip and nodded slowly, cocking his head to the side as he examined her bum. Annie watched his reflection curiously. He gave her bum a light squeeze and rubbed it as if it were a crystal ball. Annie stood up straight and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“I don’t know what it is, exactly,” Ben murmured and wrapped his arms around her waist, “but there is something about you that I just... “

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” Ben purred and leaned forward.

###

“Is he out?” Annie sobbed. “Is he okay? Is everything out?”

Whoever said that giving birth to the second baby is easy clearly lied. It all went down so fast. She didn’t have time for an epidural. She didn’t have time to even digest what was going on. One minute her water breaks, then wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, a human baby is introduced to the world.

“He’s out!” Ben beamed at his wife. “He’s out. Everything’s out. You did so well.”

“Ben, he tore me to pieces!” Annie violently wiped her tears away. “I’m hurting. I’m tired. I’m pissed the hell off. Stop smiling like that!”

“Annie, he’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Ben ignored his wife’s rant and brushed stray locks of hair away from her forehead. “And you are my hero, Annabelle Lee-Jones. You are an absolute rockstar.”

Annie sobbed incoherently in response.

“There he is, mummy!” the nurse said as she brought over the bundle of wailing joy. “Your beautiful baby boy!”

Annie took the bundle in her arms and looked down, tears still pouring down. Ben chuckled and wiped her tears away from the baby’s cheeks.

“What’s your name?” Annie whispered at the baby. “Galileo?”

“Annabelle…” Ben had an impatient edge to his voice.

“Well, what are we naming him, then?” She asked, stroking the baby’s little head gently.

“Oliver?” Ben suggested. Annie mulled it over in her head. “Alfred.”

“Alfred?” Annie looked up at her husband.

“Yes. Alfred.”

“Where did that come from?”

“A great English king.” Ben raised one finger in the air. “Classic name.” Another finger. “He’s clearly an Alfie -”

“Alfie.” Annie repeated, a smile lighting up her face. “Our baby Alfie.”

###

Ben and Annie stepped onto the dance floor, holding hands. Their guests clapped, hooted and hollered - all cheering for them as they made their “official” debut as a married couple. The music started blaring through the speakers as Annie and Ben took their place in the middle of the floor and wrapped their arms around one another.

Me and Mrs. Jones; We got a thing goin'on...

They gazed into each other’s eyes, oblivious to the world around them. Joe held Rory in his lap, pointing at her parents and talking animatedly to keep her awake and happy. Gwilym cradled baby Alfie as he slept, gobsmacked by the baby’s ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime.

We both know that it's wrong; But it's much too strong To let it go now…

Annie chose to wear the same dress she did on her original wedding day, flower crown in her hair. Ben opted for the tux he wore at the Oscars. He pulled her closer and dipped her back. Annie threw her head back and laughed heartily, gracefully kicking one leg up in the air. He picked her up and kissed her as they swayed to the music.

We meet every day at the same cafe Six-thirty and no one knows she'll be there; Holding hands, making all kinds of plans While the jukebox plays our favorite songs…

Annie looked over to the side and saw Rory and Joe having a very heated discussion. She beckoned them over with her hands, smiling brightly. Joe asked Rory a question, making her eyes light up. They stood up and he put her down on the floor. She held onto one of his fingers as they walked on the dancefloor. He bowed deeply and made Rory burst in a fit of giggles before he picked her up again and swayed alongside her parents as he sang along to the song.

Me and Mrs. Jones We got a thing goin'on; We both know that it's wrong; But it's much too strong To let it go now...

Ben smiled at the rest of the guests and nodded his head, signaling it was okay to join them in their dance. Couples started flooding the dancefloor within minutes, all swaying and rocking to the smooth R’n’B song Annie and Ben chose for their first dance.

We gotta be extra careful That we don't build our hopes up too high; Because she's got her own obligations And so, and so, do I...

When they discussed their first dance song options, they got into such a fight that they almost called the whole thing off. Annie wanted Best of My Love, Ben wanted Love of My Life. It was actually Rami who suggested the most appropriate song for them -

Me and Mrs. Jones We got a thing goin'on We both know that it's wrong But it's much too strong To let it go now…

His logic behind it was flawless. The song practically described Annie and Ben’s journey through the relationship. How they tried to hide it at first, insisting there’s nothing serious happening. How they came to terms with their relationship status and were so very careful at first. How Rory had happened when caution was thrown to the wind.

Well, it's time for us to be leaving It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine Tomorrow we'll meet The same place, the same time...

How heart wrenching their time apart from one another was. How hopeful they were. Counting down the days until Ben comes back to visit. How, even at their busiest, they always made time for themselves.

Me and Mrs. Jones We got a thing goin'on We both know that it's wrong But it's much too strong To let it go now...

###

“Mummy!” Rory ran over to the sofa with her favorite stuffed animal, followed by a yapping Frankie. “Mummy, Frankie did bad!”

Hand in glove The sun shines out of our behinds; No, it's not like any other love This one is different, because it's us...

Annie groaned internally and closed her eyes. Alfie was attached to her breast while she fed him, the house was a total chaotic mess, Ben was away at some Cognac launch and all she wanted to do was just scream and run away. She played her favorite album to keep herself happy and sane. There was something about The Smiths that made her feel… normal.

Hand in glove We can go wherever we please; And everything depends upon How near you stand to me...

“Rors, baby, Alfie’s -”

“Frankie did baaaad!” Rory’s voice rose in volume and octave.

“What did she bloody do?!” Annie asked, her patience all but lost.

“Took my Pupper!”

“You’re holding your Pupper and he looks fine.” Annie raised an eyebrow.

“Frankie bad!”

And if the people stare Then the people stare; Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care; Kiss my shades...

“No, Frankie good.” Annie patted the empty cushion next to her, inviting Rory in for a cuddle. “Rory, are you jealous of Alfie and mummy?”

“No.” Rory skulked.

“Rors…”

“Mummy…”

Hand in glove The good people laugh; Yes, we may be hidden by rags But we've something they'll never have...

“Tell you what.” Annie whispered. “When daddy gets home, we’ll have a whole day, just for ourselves. No boys allowed.”

“No boys?”

“None.”

Hand in glove The sun shines out of our behinds; Yes, we may be hidden by rags But we've something they'll never have...

The front door opened, making Rory stand up on the sofa expectantly.

“Uncle Joey?” Rory looked at Annie with sparkling eyes. “Uncle Gwilly?”

“Annie?” Ben’s voice boomed from the hall.

And if the people stare Then the people stare; Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care; Kiss my shades...

“Daddy!” Rory shrieked and scrambled off the sofa, doing a bee line for the hallway. “Daddy! Daddy!”

“There’s my girl!” Ben crouched down and let Rory crash into him. He picked her up and tossed her in the air, eliciting overjoyed squeals and shrieks. Her soft blonde curls bounced as she flew up in the hair and landed safely back in his arms. “Where’s Mum?”

So, hand in glove I stake my claim I'll fight to the last breath; If they dare touch a hair on your head I'll fight to the last breath; For the good life is out there somewhere, So stay on my arm, you little charmer...

“In here!” Annie called and winced when Alfie dug his nails into her boob. “Alfie’s eating!”

Ben stood at the doorway to the living room and blinked, gobsmacked. It looked like a tornado had run through, destroying and overturning everything in its’ path.

“Are you okay, Annie?” He asked.

“What? Yes, I’m fine.” Annie frowned. “Why?”

“Because it seems like we had a burglary going on while I was off.” Ben smirked.

“Oh, shove it!” Annie stuck her tongue out at him. “You try taking care of these two little ducks and see how far it gets you with housekeeping.”

“I know.” Ben put Rory down and sauntered over to the sofa, plopping down next to his wife. “I ducking love you. I don’t care about the mess.”

“Mess?” Rory chimed in. “I clean!”

“Oh, now you’ll clean?” Annie scoffed.

“I clean for daddy.” Rory huffed and went about tidying up and putting all her toys away.

“Don’t you never, ever leave me home alone again.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

But I know my luck too well; Yes, I know my luck too well; And I'll probably never see you again; I'll probably never see you again...

##########

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