#believe or not this is actually not the beginning

[authorhjk1]

Dreamy Pink

(Shin Ryujin X Male Reader)

By @i-am-lifeform24

“The pink one is Ryujin being an actual princess (haven't decided on the time period yet). This one is completely the opposite to the black one. Here is Ryujin in control. And her advisor is the guy she uses when she needs to get off.” - Inspiration quote from @authorhjk1

“No.”

“Your highness, they are all very accomplished, winners of multiple wars!”

“Accomplished, but ugly. No.”

“Princess, these nations have stood with us for centuries. Surely you can think it o-”

Ryujin stares down the impassioned minister, crossing her arms, her pink, flowing dress sparkling as she looks up at the man from across the round table. “I see no reason why I have to do anything, minister. I will not be marrying any of these slimy men.”

You sigh, shooting the old man an apologetic glance as the other members of the council fidget in their seats. The princess has always been… difficult. Even standing behind her, you can feel how uncomfortable the room is getting. Funny, that all the most powerful lords and ladies of the country can’t get through to a much younger girl.

Steeling yourself, you take a step forward, “My apologies, minister, perhaps the princess misunderstands.” Ryujin’s catlike eyes dart left, the princess giving you a warning, shifting her lithe body in the pink mass of cotton so she can better stare up at you. You can feel the other members of the table hold their breath. Here it comes.

“Misunderstand what exactly, advisor?” Her voice is icy, pointed, like she can’t imagine why you would say something so stupid. Well, it is your job after all, and whether she likes it or not, you were put in this position to keep her in check, so keep her in check you will.

“That while you are the most beautiful princess on the continent, you are also the leader of the most powerful country on this side of the world.” You start, gesturing to the other nobles of the table. They straighten up, morning sunlight peeking through stained glass to illuminate their battle-worn features, as if they’ve broken free from the spell of a very bratty princess.

Ryujin raises her eyebrow at you, slightly nodding for you to go on. You watch her dress shine in the soft light, taking a deep breath, “You have to at least listen their proposals out. Agree to the minister’s plan to let the princes visit you.”

Ryujin scoffs, “I don’t want their mud on my floors. This castle was built by my father, and you want to bring these grungy foreigners here? To my paradise?”

You lean forward, and Ryujin’s eyes widen as your strong voice echoes throughout the ornate chamber, “A paradise built by alliances. Strong, long-lasting, powerful alliances. Do you believe that your honorable parents fell in love by the grace of God, your highness?”

Ryujin’s eyes narrow, and the whole room holds its breath. You glance at the minister across the table, the man slowly sitting back down, eyes wide, his robes shifting as he tries to sneak back into his seat. Your heart catches in your throat. It’s never a good idea to mention the late King and Queen in front of her.

Maybe if you apologize before it sets in, she’ll forgive you. You meet Ryujin’s gaze, stammering, ‘N-not to say that your parents were without grace. I’m sure that they would be very proud of you, your high-“

“You’re right.”

Wait, what?

Ryujin smiles at you, her dark eyes crinkling as she exhales, breaking her stare. She turns back to the council. “My Advisor is right. I apologize for my own lack of foresight in the matter of my engagement. Minister, let it be know that I will receive these… princes. I will leave the details up to you.”

“A…. A wise choice, your highness! We shall begin constructing the plans right away.” The old man shoots up with a wide smile, the other council members filling the room with excited applause. You look down at Ryujin, and the princess cracks a smirk at you, as if her jolt of anger was all one big, convoluted, prank.

You gulp, giving her a quick smirk back, stepping behind the sovereign’s large makeshift throne as the council chatters on. Ryujin straightens her back, adjusting her tiara to sit on perfectly on her neatly combed locks. Here, at the head of the table, she almost seems like a real ruler, not an aggressive orphan made to reign way too early.

Soon, the meeting concludes, and you find yourself at the large mahogany bowing to every council member that takes their leave. “Thank you, duchess. And yes, we will make sure that the princess attends your name day celebration!” You lean forward, holding the gloved hand of an older woman, the smile lines on her cheeks deepening as you smile at her. She leans beside your ear, letting the other nobles pass behind her, “Thank the Lord for you, advisor. The poor girl barely has things together as it is…” You straighten, giving the older woman a sideways grin, “Now that’s our sovereign you are talking about, duchess, with how large the kingdom is, I would say that she is doing much better than any of us could.”

The duchess opens her mouth to respond, “Oh no advisor, i’m sure….” Suddenly, her eyes widen, staring at the doorway behind you, and she trails off. “Nevermind! I shall see you on Saturday. Your highness.” She curtsies, and you turn around, just in time to see Ryujin, with her guards flanking her, and her arms across her chest.

“P-princess! I apologize, I'm blocking your way.” You start, stepping aside in an ill attempt to escape. With a bang, the large doors swing shut, and the guards shift uneasily as Ryujin grabs you by the ear and pulls you along the hallway.

“Ow! Princess! I was just escorting the duchess out! I didn’t mean anything by-” You grimace, the sharp pain coursing through your body as she drags you past ornate paintings and ancient keepsakes. The royal is surprisingly strong, her long legs strutting confidently on the velvet carpet. You wonder what set her off this time. She handled the meeting well, really, really well. If anything, you’re more than proud that she managed to avoid exploding at the council, or at you, for once, so what could she possibly want with you now.

Eventually, the thump of her heels on the soft flooring stops, and you find yourself in front of a large, gilded door. The guards follow closely behind, gloves gripping the hilts of their swords tightly as Ryujin addresses them. “Leave us, now. And make sure that none enter this wing for the next few hours. I will have a few words with my advisor.”

You shoot a pleading look at the knights, almost feeling their pity through their plated armor. ‘Sorry, boss. We’ll make it up to you.’ they seem to say, bowing quickly before marching away to the entrance of the castle wing. God, you’ve really done it now.

Ryujin drags you inside, not wasting a second, pushing you up against the warm wood. Your breath catches in your throat, the messy, victorian style bedroom a lazy backdrop to the princess’ intense stare. She pushes her covered breasts onto your chest. Arms, they stay pinned at your side, like she’s pressing a painting into a wall. Ryujin slowly cranes her lips beside your ear, “I barely have things together?”

You gulp, heart catching in your throat as you look down at the beautiful woman. Her gaze is icy, hands slowly rubbing the outside of your trousers. “P-princess, the duchess simply worries for you, we don’t have to do this again.” you squeak, like a mouse, hunted by this very turned on, catlike royal.

Ryujin does nothing but smirk, pulling your underwear down quickly, dropping to her knees as the cold morning air wraps around your erect member. Your hands slowly droop down, but you stay plastered on the wood, like she’s still pinning you there, like her body is still on you.

“Heavy. Good. You’re filling me up today.” The princess cups your balls, her fingers dribbling against the puckered skin as she squints up at you. Amidst short breaths, you can’t help but marvel at how the orange-yellow light glazes her skin, the thin, pink fabric of her dress covered in dark spots as Ryujin’s wetness spreads from her legs. She’s beautiful, and after that disaster of a meeting, she needs a way to relieve her stress.

Ryujin’s tongue darts out, teasing the leaking tip of your cockhead as she grips you by your base, “Hey.” Informal. Casual. Crude. She looks up into your eyes, and you stare back down at her, sweat forming on your forehead as you can’t help but throb in her soft hands. “Yes, princess?” you reply, your voice breathy.

Her gaze softens, her eyes now half-lidded as she slowly licks up the length of your shaft. Her dress has creeped up her thighs at this point, and you can’t help but notice her bare pussy lips in between her kneeling legs. Ryujin stares at you, a firm warning exiting her precum smeared lips, “Don’t ever embarrass me again… daddy.”

You harden at the words, wanting nothing more than to grab the princess by the neck and throw her onto the bed. Ryujin can tell, making a show out of keeping one hand jerking on your cock, while the other pulls her dress down her breasts, the mink revealing perfect, perky breasts.

She smiles, “I’m going to drain you now, and you don’t get to cum until I say so, alright?” Ryujin accentuates the last word with a kiss on your cockhead, the skin wet with her spit. You give her a slow nod, gritting your teeth. She’s asking you for the impossible.

But she’s also your princess. You are sworn to her.

“Yes… your highness.” You croak out the words as Ryujin smirks at you, “Good daddy, now come to bed, i’m riding you until you fill me with your seed.”

You stumble forward, watching as your princess sauntily sways her now naked hips. No undergarments in the council meeting? You’d have ot tell her off later, but in the meantime, the idea only does more to keep your cock hard and ready. Her pink dress stays bunched up around her tight waist, and you watch as her ass sways in the morning light, the dresses and books strewed around the floor nothing but obstacles for her long, supple legs.

Ryujin crawls onto the bed, peeling the rest of the pink fabric off her body, then kneeling on her heels as she crosses her arms, “Faster, daddy. I have a kingdom to run.”

Hastily, you strip, sitting on the edge of the bed, then swinging your legs so they are on either side of the kneeling girl. You’re careful not to meet her eyes. No matter how turned on you are, she’s in charge.

Soon, you’re lying down on your back, the expensive, gold patterned furs digging into the small of your back as your princess straddles you. Ryujin’s hair falls around her face in the soft yellow light, and you watch as her petite tits rise and fall, the princess grabbing you by the shaft, your cockhead rubbing against her pussy lips as she stares down at you.

Her eyes roll back into her head, “God, daddy, if only that old hag could watch me handle this.

“Fuck!” You groan. With a slap, the princess’ ass bounces on your thighs as she roughly takes you to the hilt. She’s always rough, calling you daddy even if you’re her toy, but a part of you loves it, loves letting her take control, loves letting the princess, in a twisted way, worship you with her body.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Ryujin moans, grabbing handfuls of the blankets around her as she bounces on your cock. You feel her walls get accustomed to you, the tightness suffocating, wringing you in a wet embrace.

You look up. She’s not even looking at you. Her Tiara stays skewed on her head, her breasts jumping with every bounce, her small hands resting on your thighs as the princess arches her back, gyrating her hips onto your waiting cock.

“P-princess, it’s so good.” You moan, hands reaching down to grab her soaked ass.

A slap resounds through the large room. “Don’t you dare. You don’t get to touch me until I milk you dry, daddy.” Ryujin warns, her tongue coming out of her moaning mouth as she slaps your hands away, continuing her impassioned ride.

You give up, resorting to grabbing handfuls of cloth, watching as your beloved princess cums on your cock, over and over again, her breasts lathered in sweat, her taut stomach rippling under the force of her bouncing.

Ryujin opens one eye, panting, to grab you by the neck, “Kiss me, daddy…” You hesitate for a moment, wishing to savor the feeling of her drawing circles on your crotch, the glorious sensation of her royal pussy grasping onto every ridge of your unworthy cock, but in the end, you sit up.

“You’re beautiful, princess… please, i’m so close.” You beg, letting the girl hold you by the cheeks as your tongue explores her mouth, her hips still riding you, albeit slower, more deliberate, as if she wants to savor every moment too.

Ryujin looks up at you, her dark eyes mesmerizing as you feel the blankets shift. “Here, you belong to me… all your cum, daddy… it belongs to me…” She whispers slowly, pausing to grimace, as if your cock is somehow surprising her with pleasure after all these trysts.

You exhale, feeling it bubble in your core. Something about your aloof, icy princess demanding for you, demanding for your seed, burns all thoughts of stopping away. You need to cum in her, now.

Your lips find Ryujin’s neck, sucking on her clear, unblemished skin as your rough hands find her ass. This time, she doesn’t turn you away, the princess’ smile only getting bigger, as if she’s been waiting for you to take charge.

”Mmm, fuck! Fuck! Breed me! Breed your princess!” Ryujin screams, her hips now still as you fuck into her fast and hard. She’s sitting on your lap now, your chests pushed together, her breasts warm as you hammer into the royal’s pussy.

“Y-yes princess! It’s coming!” You grit your teeth, focusing on delaying your release for as long as you can, until the princess wraps her long legs around you, rocking her pussy lips on the base of your crotch. “Oh… oh! Daddy!” Ryujin groans, grinding her pussy onto you, not allowing you to thrust, her walls clenching, begging for your seed as she pins you down with the flower between her legs.

“I’m coming!” You roar, kissing Ryujin’s jaw as the princess’ eyes shoot open. She moans loudly as you fill her, your hot, virile cum making her body relax. You feel her in your arms, her tits shaking, her ass trembling as you fill the next in line to the throne with your seed.

It’s almost comical, that she’d get so frustrated with a stupid meeting, that this.is the only way she could relax.

Hey, you’re not complaining, sighing as Ryujin topples onto your chest, her hot, deep breaths in your ear her pussy still milking the last dribbles of cum from your cock.

You look down at her with a grin, “Is that all for this morning, your highness?”

Ryujin rolls her eyes, nestling into the crook of your neck, the fur blankets around you damp with the heat of your sex. “Mmm,..”

She flips you over, her legs spreading as you crouch above her, your cock exiting her pussy with a pop. Ryujin smiles, “No, daddy. This time, you’re going to use me.”

You smile, watching her bite her lip as the morning light fades. “As you wish, your highness.”

----------

Hi everyone!

This chapter was written by @i-am-lifeform24 . Thank you so much for the great chapter!

I hope you guys enjoy reading it.

Stay healthy!

[loulovingho]

Fell asleep then woke back up still pissed, because:

Tim was clear when he decided on bi buck, Tommy was chosen on purpose. Someone who fit in with the team already and could fit in Buck’s life. It solved the outsider problem.

They wrote Chimney talking about how cool he was, made him and Eddie friends, had Eddie invite him to a virtual bday party, had Bobby give a huge stamp of approval saying Tommy was good for Buck, that he was good people. Made a big deal of the wedding/coming out scene.

They could have made this an off screen breakup at the beginning of season 8. Honestly, I would have accepted it better. But they brought Tommy back, showed again how he fit with Buck’s world. Showed there was no hostility between him and Eddie. They showed Tommy going above and beyond for Buck, sleeping on a couch with too small of a blanket, doting on him, staring at him with so much love, “breaking the curse,” etc.

I don’t buy Tommy’s lame excuse for breaking it off. That’s such crappy, high school writing. This man is 40 fucking years old, he’s six months into this relationship, and I’m supposed to believe he just suddenly decides he and Buck aren’t made to last? That Buck needs other partners? Please!

It also pisses me off that they had him get Buck basketball game tickets for their anniversary. He has got to know by now that Buck doesn’t actually like basketball. And why even have Abby be part of it at all? That was all part of the red string of fate theory, so it felt like an extra slap in the face to include it in their breakup.

The whole thing was so poorly executed, and it seems wrong that they had Oliver and Lou do a whole ass interview at the end of 7 to just… go nowhere in 8. Then have Lou do two exit interviews when he’s not a main anyway, so it feels worse to actually hear from him (especially when he seems as genuinely confused as we do).

They should have had it be some random guy. They shouldn’t have made the effort to include Tommy as much as they did. They shouldn’t have mentioned wanting bucktommy to be like tarlos. Shouldn’t have mentioned getting Buck off his hamster wheel. They gave fucking Taylor more time than this, and she spent the majority of her screen time using Buck to further her career.

And someone, somewhere down the line could have made a statement to stop fucking harassing Lou, seeing as they’ve known for at least a few months that he was no “threat” to anyone or anything.

[moonstruckme]

Hellooooo

Mae, could you maybe (absolutely no pressure or anything!!!) write something with Vampire!james x reader when he once again feeds from her and actually takes too much or so? Not like so much that it’s really bad or so but like too much, you know?

I haven’t thought about it a lot so I’m sorry that it’s so incomplete. The rest is yours to decide (as always)

(Sorry that my request is so messy, it’s the middle of the night for me)

Wasn't messy at all gorgeous! Thanks for requesting <3

cw: blood, lightheadedness/near fainting

vampire!James x fem!reader ♡ 682 words

You don’t notice it happening. You suppose that’s probably by design—vampires are supposed to drain their victims, after all, and that biology doesn’t account for your gentle boyfriend and his willing bloodbag. You’re not cognizant of any change between when your mind feels pleasantly fuzzy and when it starts to slip away from you altogether, dark spots blotting your vision and your bones losing their solidity. James notices, though, when you turn to mush in his hands. 

“Shit.” His voice is garbled by fang and slurred by gluttony, his arms encircling you to better prop you up. You feel a warm droplet of blood trudge down your front as he takes his mouth from you in a hurry. James swears again, wetting the wound to close it. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Can you hear me?” 

You make some somnolent sound of reassurance, but it doesn’t seem to do its job well. James is panicky and upset, trying to calm himself enough to figure out what to do with you. 

“Okay.” He kisses your face, eyes watery. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. Let’s lay down, yeah? Come here.”

You’re not really up for following instructions, but James does the work himself, laying you sideways on the couch and propping your head on a pillow. 

“Stay awake, angel.” He lifts your legs some, holding your ankles in one hand while the other strokes up and down your leg soothingly. “Can you do that for me?” 

You hum. You’re feeling better already. It’s not like usual, where the fuzzy feeling starts to fade as soon as James takes his lips from you, but you’re beginning to feel more solid. “James, m’okay.” 

“I’m so sorry,” he says, voice hoarse with emotion. “How do you feel? Do you want some water?” 

“I feel better.” You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Just a little…a little weird. Hey. Jamie.” You cover his hand on your leg with yours. Your boyfriend’s expression looks tormented, his eyes glassy with self-loathing. “It’s okay, lovely. I’m fine, I just need a minute.” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t stop,” he admits in a near whisper. 

“I should have let you know.” 

“How were you supposed to? I was drinking you dry.” His voice thins. James closes his eyes, agonized. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. That was dangerous. I could’ve killed you.” 

“You wouldn’t have,” you tell him gently. 

“I could have, I—” 

“James.” You sit up on your elbows. Your boyfriend’s brows bunch concernedly, but your head feels fine. Maybe your protectiveness of James is just more substantial than anything else in you. “You wouldn’t have, baby. Really. I know you’re worried you’re going to lose control or something, but that’s not what happened. We just both let it go a little too far. And when you realized what was happening, you stopped without even thinking about it.” You make your voice firm. “This was just a fluke. It was bound to happen at some point, but you’d never really hurt me. And everything turned out fine, right? Didn’t it?” 

James breathes out. “I don’t know,” he says uncertainly. “Are you fine?” 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You give him a smile, reaching out your arms. 

James hugs you but doesn’t meet you halfway. He presses you back into the couch instead, his arms wound tight around your middle and stubble scritching against your cheek. 

“You promise you’re okay?” He turns his head to kiss your ear. “Be honest.” 

You rub his back. “I promise. I just needed a minute. It’s normal, you know?”

James sighs, his body sinking into yours. “Nothing about this is normal.” 

“I guess. But I was talking about, like, blood donation. This happens all the time in those cases.” You lie there for a minute, you soothing your palms over his back and him with his arms wrapped around you. “I feel fine to sit up now, by the way.” 

“No way.” James kisses the shell of your ear again. “You scared the shit out of me, baby. I’m never letting you up off this couch again.”

[dduane]

As a former psychiatric nurse, I am here to tell you in utter seriousness that OUR ENTIRE DAMN JOB is to listen carefully enough to you that we can feed you the lines that will get you to this place: where you HEAR the thing that just actually fell out of your face while you were so busy trying to hold your act in place that you couldn't keep it from doing that.

The human mind—that exquisitely complex thing—is ALL about maintaining its current smooth operational status. EVEN when that status is wildly dysfunctional and/or destructive. I mean, the brain says, hardly ever hearing its own desperation, everything's working pretty well right now, isn't it? And it can't hear the (internal laugh track) audience's painful response.

Our job is to startle you into hearing the internal laugh track: and yeah, the pain. There is no other way to get out of the pain than to acknowledge that you're in it, and at least to begin acknowledging the sources of it.

...All those light bulb jokes? About really having to want to change? They're bullshit. Believe me when I tell you that no one really wants to change. The one thing everyone I ever worked with in therapy wanted was to to stay just the way they were... just (somehow, magically) less uncomfortable. And surprise!—that's not how getting better works.

Meanwhile: this is one reason I'm lucky as a writer... because having helped actual human beings walk through this process is one of the best possible forms of preparation for walking fictional characters through it.

And if having done it with real people sometimes makes it come across in the fiction as perilously close to comedy in the timing of how it unfolds? Well, sometimes it comes across that way with the real people too. And the laughter associated with your client realizing who the joke's been on may sometimes be painful, but (when it's genuine) has a uniquely joyous sound through the pain that can't be matched by any other human experience. It's a privilege to be part of that when it happens.

All you can do is keep feeding the person you're working the straight lines they've been telling you they need... and then wait for them to give up and bite.

Therapy is risky because sometimes they'll just ask you their standard "why can't you, though", and you think you're making some good point by saying something like "well if I don't do anything with my life then what's the point of being alive in the first place" and your therapist gets that look on their face and you immediately realise that your dumb ass just got caught, pinned to the ground with your stupid-ass neck between the spikes of a pitchfork, and you are not going to wiggle out of there before you two unpack what the fuck you just said.

[amyrosedaily]

Day 67: Delivery! (Silver Week day 2)

Damn late by 3 minutes haha! Anyway this is actually from a Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog AU that I have not shared anywhere other than my brain lmao. It’s basically just: what if there was a Sonic AU where everyone was ACTUALLY their roles in TMOSTH. I’ll add some lore beneath the cut for anyone interested haha

PLEASE! Donate to help save Safaa and her family! | Main post | Gofundme (THEYRE ALMOST HALFWAY!!!)

So basically the au starts with Sonic, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles all celebrating Sonic’s recent promotion to ship captain. It’s a party where they’re both celebrating but also saying goodbye since Sonic will be heading out on his first voyage as captain in a few days.

Amy ofc is a journalist and has been working as one for a little bit while Tails just started working as an assistant detective at a local agency. (Haven’t quite figured out Knuckles yet oops)

Anyway the plot begins when Sonic nearly drowns aboard his first voyage. When his body is first found his friends do cruelly think he had died, but luckily the doctors are able to save him and he wakes up not too long after but is very delierious - however, he remembers being pushed.

Sonic had hid his fear of water and inability to swim from his crew even before he was captain, only his close friends knew. Plus now the media is reporting on the failed ship voyage and how Sonic’s first venture as captain was such a failure.

Amy and Tails now know this wasn’t as accident - it was an attempted murder. So they team up to find the truth of what happened and report on it publicly. Both to keep the media from saying bad about their friend, but also revenge.

I haven’t figured out all the details but I want all the characters to be involved somehow. Right now I’ve only Kind Of figured out Espio and Silver. (Yeah Silvers here I wanted him to be lol)

Espio did NOT kill Sonic, however he was an important accomplice. Espio is just trying to get into university (or some higher education) while helping Vector take care of Charmy. Espio has been trying to write poetry to sell to help Vector, who’s currently the only one making money with his job as a butcher. However one day, Charmy gets very sick and the Chaotix can’t afford to take him to urgent care. The illness isn’t usually deadly but in children it can be worse. Feelings scared and desperate, Espio does something he hasn’t done since before he met Vector - hired assassination.

Essentially Espio gets hired to incapacitate Sonic, which he does with the blow dart. Espio however did not push Sonic or even physically come into contact with him at all. I think Espio DID actually believe he killed Sonic - where he drugged Sonic and then Sonic fell overboard. However since Sonic remembers being pushed and Espio never touched him, Espio didn’t actually kill him.

Silver, in this au, is just a regular mailman…kinda? I want him to work for Blaze (who I haven’t quite figured out how she fits in yet) and as shown in his comic, supplied Espio with both the weapon and the poison in a way that Vector and Charmy wouldn’t find out. This parts self indulgent tbh I just think Espio and Silver would make a great assassin duo if they wanted to hahaha

Anyway that’s all I got so far!! If you read this wow!! Thank you!

[mistymisfit]

short hurt/comfort blurb

summary: reader is taken as hostage, Red Hodd comes to save her (roughly I'll write a better summary later lol)

wc: 2k

warnings: fem!reader, pre-established relationship ,reader being kidnapped (duh) and drugged, one nasty comment from the intentionally vague bad guy, mentions of blood, lots of violence, guns, etc, etc. (not beta read as always, so ill fix typos tomorrow lol) and non sexual nudity !

a/n: lowkey hate how this turned out, but have this as I'm finishing an actual fic.

You were cold, you have been cold for a while now. You don't know how long it's been or why you were kidnapped to begin with. They've always kept you in the same dark room, there are no windows and no light except for the one that shines through the space between the door and the floor. Your hands were chained in front of you to the floor, and they left some fabric tied around your mouth to keep you from screaming. Not like you had any strength in you to even do anything but hope and pray Jason could find you soon. You discarded the theory of it being human trafficking after the first few hours since they never touched you. In fact, you hadn't even seen the face of your captors. You've only heard faint voices in the distance, just enough to identify their accent but not enough to decipher what they said.

Or that was until you heard an argument right outside the door. One man, who sounded older, was chastising the other. You hear the words "die" and "overdose", but it is hard to keep your focus. Your own thoughts feel slow, having come to the realization way too late that they'd probably drugged you, and that's why your body felt so heavy. Then the door opens, and you have to close your eyes because it feels like the light is burning them. You barely manage to move your head away when some hands grab your shoulders. They sit you on the floor and shake you, and you want to react, but your body's barely able to move on its own.

"Kid? You alive?" One of them asks, and when they get no answer, they resort to shaking you harder. When that doesn't work either, a heavy hand delivers a hard slap to your face.

To that you finally let out a pained grunt, and you blink slowly until you open your eyes. The younger one sighs in relief, and the older says something about their boss killing them if you were dead. That leads you to believe you were there for a reason, maybe they found out you technically work with Red Hood and they're using you to get to him. Or worse, they found out you were dating.  

"That's it, stay awake" He lays you down on the floor again.

"What are we doing this for?" The younger one asks. He looks on edge, shaky with nerves. It may be his first time henching, or so you could guess.

"Dunno, boss told us to keep an eye on her until he needs her"

You're left again in the dark before you can even process what they looked like. And you're slightly grateful for it, at least your head didn't feel like exploding once they shut the door again. It feels like an eternity passes while you're still in that room. So you try to notice all the details you can, there's no traffic noise or any other type of noise for that matter. Once you get used to the dark, you also see the small puddle forming from the leak coming through the ceiling. Then you also try to remember how you got there, you were leaving... someplace, it's all fuzzy. But you do remember the hard blow to your head, and then waking up here.

You guess it must have been a couple of hours, that just felt longer to you, when you hear some commotion outside. Running, and clicking, probably from loading guns. The gunshots came later, and did not stop for long. The noise was incessant, along with yelling and words you couldn't make out. You weakly managed to curl up and cover your ears with your hands. And you stay tense in that position until you hear the creak of the door once more. You don't dare to move even when you hear the footsteps getting closer to you.

"Not a step closer" A man grabs your hair, pulling you up, and pressing the nuzzle of his gun to your temple. It feels hot against your skin, almost burning, so you could only assume it's been fired recently. You finally lay your eyes on Jason, or rather Red Hood, he's covered in blood, and you could swear his eyes were shining red under the hood and domino mask.

"Let her go" He's practically barking, you know he gets like this when he's scared. He starts attacking even when he's backed against a corner. You wouldn't notice, but he immediately recognized your lost gaze and weakened mobility. It was like seeing his mother all over again. And that, along with the red imprint across your face, made him even angrier.

"You sure she only works for you?" He taunts, and before Jason can do anything, he presses the gun harder into you as if daring him to try to make a move. "'cause if I had such a hot piece of ass on my payroll..."

You close your eyes tightly, tears falling from them. You're sure you hear Jason replying, telling him off, but you're too scared to pay attention to anything but the metal on your skin. That is until he uses it to push down the fabric against your mouth, he probably asked you something you didn't listen to.

He laughs, and adds: "Maybe my guys gave her a little too much to keep her calm"

Jason is about to explode with anger, the way he talks about you, and what he's done to you. The way he so easily messed with his people, his territory, and with his partner out of everyone. He'll make sure to make an example out of him for anyone who decides to mess with him in the future. So when the man pulls the trigger, only for a click to come out of his weapon, you let out a sigh in relief. And Jason charges at the guy, dragging him away from you and out of the room to deliver the beat down of his life. Hitting as hard as he could until he made sure the guy would stop breathing, and making it as painful as possible. Then, for good measure, he empties what's left of his magazine on his head and multiple parts of his body. The body's beaten beyond recognition, and now he's got even more blood splattered over him. But him, and everyone who works for him, were now dead, so at least you could rest assured no one could harm you and go unpunished.

He goes back, only to find you curled up once more, and holding your head. You flinch when his hand touches you, but he tries not to take it personally, he reminds you it's him and that you're okay as he unties the black bandanna pulled down on your neck. He removes the muzzle from his face and pulls down the hood when you raise your head to look at him, giving you a reassuring nod.

"Get me out of here" You beg, pulling on your chains. He nods, picking the lock as quick as he can. You cling to him once you're freed, and he notices how despite your effort, your grip is weak. Even when you pull on his clothes to get him close enough to kiss him.

He freezes for a second before tightly holding the back of your head with one hand, the other resting on your back to support you. He shouldn't, he should stop you and tell you to do this when you're in the right head space so he wouldn't feel as if he was taking advantage of you. But being so close to losing you, he can't find the will to tell you no. And he melts into your lips, red smearing both of you now. Violence is rewarded with affection, that's a first for him. You don't seem to care about what he's done to get to you, all that matters is that he did, and now you're with him.

"I'll take you to the ER" He runs his hand up and down your back to soothe you, but you start sobbing into his blood-soaked clothes anyways.

"No, no, please," you shake your head "I just wanna go home"

He agrees with just a nod, picking you up as he tries to shield you from seeing the bloodbath he left on his way to you. If anyone knew how to take care of a person in your state, it'd be him. The gruesome scene and trail of bodies were bound to get him in deep family trouble, but he couldn't seem to care about it. Not when it assured your safety. Once he's made sure you're holding tightly and buckled your helmet right, he speeds to his nearest safe house. Regretting getting there in his bike instead of a car, even if it allowed him to get there faster.

"I know you said home, but I can't risk anyone following-" He rambled while taking off your helmet.

"I get it" You cut him off, trying your best to smile and not look like you were about to throw up.

He's quiet leading you up to the apartment, it's an old building and it looks more or less abandoned. That's probably why he picked it, no nosy neighbors. The place is on the first floor, luckily since it had no elevator. Even though he still carried you up the stairs, and only set you down when you were in the bathroom.

"Right, I'll wait outside " His eyes avoid you as he leaves some clean towels near the shower.

"Wait,"Your voice is meek, almost scared. You stop him from leaving by hooking a finger on one of his belt loops  "stay with me, what if I pass out?"

He nods, helping you pull up your shirt. You look up at him, not uttering a word but willing him to take the mask off. Luckily, he understands your staring and does so, leaving it on the floor next to your discarded clothes. Then he kneels in front of you, pulling your pants down, and you hold onto his shoulders as you step out of them. You mouth a quiet thank you when he looks up to you, right before he leaves a soft kiss on your hip and then on your stomach. His grip on your waist feels desperate, clinging not to let you go ever again.

"I'm okay," You reassure, but when his eyes meet yours again, they're brimmed with tears. You untie the bandages around his forearms, guiding him to take his clothes off too.

Jason's trying really hard not to cry right now, and you know it so when you walk in the the shower you turn your back to him to give him some space. But don't fail to notice how the water running down the drain turns red when he kisses the top of your head and stays close to you. He does a great job of gently cleaning you up, and so do you, washing the blood off him once you do turn around. You don't say anything about it or the bruised knuckles or any other bruise for that matter. He's thankful for that, thankful he didn't lose you or that you haven't opposed his methods. You stay under the warm water for a little longer after you're done, holding on to him and breathing slowly as his hand soothes you by tracing circles on your back.

"Jay?" You look up to him.

"Hm?"

"It's not your fault"

"I know," He replies, and you immediately think liar, you do think it's your fault. But don't have the will to argue with him, yet, so you settle for leaving a kiss on his bicep. "You wanna go to bed now?"

"You'll lay down with me?" He hums in response, closing the faucet behind you.He wraps you in a surprisingly soft and warm towel, then helps you dry off and put on some of the spare clothes he kept there. For the rest of the night, he'd watch you until you get down from whatever they gave you, make sure you don't stop breathing or choke on your own vomit. He'd worry and insist on breaking up tomorrow when you feel better and have the strength to argue and call him an idiot for it, when you are able to think better than him and insist you'd always be safer with him rather than without him.

[wstviewvidal]

birthday- w. maximoff

pairing: fwb!wanda x reader

summary: misunderstandings can change things.

a/n: hi all! i hope yall are good! i wrote this a little bit after the first part came out. i love angst! unsure if i want a third part. also, if you don’t like this literally don’t tell me because im sensitive and cry easily

minors do not interact

“i assumed you would’ve confessed to wanda by now” natasha says as she fixes a pile of papers on your desk, “you know, since you’re head over heels for her”

nat smirks as you give her the side eye and roll your eyes, you swivel your chair towards her.

“i’m not head over heels for her. i’m ju-“

“stupid?”

narrowing your eyes and tilting your head to the side, “okay, no”

meeting natasha was by far one of the greatest strokes of luck in your life. sure, she could be blunt at times— but when it comes down to it, she tells you what you need to hear.

unfortunately, this was also one of those times.

she has constantly insisted on the idea that you need to muster up the courage to tell wanda about your feelings for her. she always says that she believes wanda feels the same towards you, but your insecurities and doubt always get in the way.

except this would actually be the second time you confess, not the first. not that you even are aware of that fact.

you don’t really recall the first time you told wanda how you felt about her. you were drunk at a party, and only wanda has a clear memory of it. however, out of respect for you and your ability to get embarrassed quickly, wanda never brought it up again.

“i just feel like it’s a losing game, you know?” you say softly, rubbing your temples, “i always thought that if one of us were to tell the other if we caught feelings, it would be her. she’s always been more upfront with her emotions than i have. i think she really only sees me as what we’d agreed upon, nat. what if im just a way for her to pass time?

you pout softly, your emotions now coming forth in front of your long time friend and colleague.

“i just feel like she treats me like a girlfriend some days, and other days it’s just,” you take in a deep breath and groan out of frustration, “other days she tells me about a girl she saw, or someone she matched with on a dating app. do you know what i mean? i get mixed signals sometimes”

nat looks at you with a sympathetic look on her face, biting her lip slightly to keep from saying anything she really shouldn’t.

truth is, nat always had an feeling that you two would end up together one way or another, she’s always rooted for you two. the only way that could happen is if the two of you get your head out of your asses. in fact, she’d tried to get wanda to come forth about her own feelings.

however, wanda was dating someone at the time of said conversation— and out of respect for her then partner, wanda kept her quiet and buried her feelings deep inside. timing has never been on your side, will it ever?

“i don’t know if there’s anything i can say to get you to tell her, but,” she raises her eyebrows and makes her voice firm to try to emphasize her point, “all i can say is that wanda is a beautiful girl who’s got brains and a personality on her. she won’t be around forever. you know you won’t forgive yourself if you don’t at least try with her”

there it is, the brutal truth you knew that natasha was going to throw at you— and what sucks the most is the fact that it’s exactly what you needed to hear.

wanda has had to call off your agreement on a few occasions because she’d gotten serious with two girls; and each time it’d left you sobbing in natasha’s arms in her apartment because you couldn’t fathom the thought of wanda with another girl.

with a soft nod, “how should i even do that? or when?”

natasha begins another one of her long speeches about how you could be losing the person who could be the one, emphasizing how you’d be the one at fault if you let her get away.

on the drive home, you can’t help but replay natasha’s words in your mind, you aren’t sure why they they’re resonating this specific time.

“don’t wait too long, you know. you never know who could come along and sweep her off her feet. that’ll be the last time you have wanda like how you have her now”

those specific words echo in your head as you get home, unsure why they’re weighing heavy on your chest this time.

sighing softly, “come on, baby, i need to get you home,” wanda says as she guides you to her car with her hand guiding you by the lower back. she had your purse and coat in her other hand, ensuring she’d grabbed everything you’d brought with you.

you two were finally at the end of the road, officially a month from graduating college and decided to attend one last party together before you were thrown into the deep end of adulthood.

you had a few too many to drink that night and wanda knew by the fourth drink and the way you couldn’t keep your hands off of her, she had to get you home safely before you ran off somewhere as soon as she took her eyes off of you.

you reached for the handle of the car door before having your hand gently smacked away.

“you know better than that,” she started softly before opening the door for you and allowing you to get comfortable in her passenger seat. wanda knew you hated having your heels on in the car, so she crouched down to remove them before giving you a quick kiss to the cheek.

wanda pulls back gently to look at your face, your glazed eyes looking back at her with a look of.. adoration?

she smiles softly and places a gentle hand on the side of your face, “you’re beautiful”

rolling your eyes and trying to hide your blush, you giggle and nudge her shoulder in a playful manner.

wanda chuckles at how you’re easy to fluster with just two words. placing another small kiss to your cheek, she closes the passenger door.

you watched as she rounded the car and get into the drivers seat with low lidded glazed eyes, a small crooked smile on your face as you watch her. the maroon mid length dress she wore was nothing short of elegant. her curled dark hair and light makeup enhanced her features so beautifully that you feared you’d somehow spill your guts to her if she made one more right move.

but you couldn’t. wanda was seeing someone— granted, it wasn’t serious nor do you think they’d even slept together, but you were terrified of being that girl.

in fact, you were too. you had been seeing maria from your public policy course for the past two months but you could never bring yourself to feel for her what you so deeply felt for wanda. you two had a mutual break up a few days later.

wanda enters the car and shrugs off her coat, her arm muscles now showing even more with the street light illuminating the inside of the car in a specific way. she fixes her hair and puts on her seat belt before she looks over at you with concern.

“you okay, bub? what’s wrong?” wanda asks softly, placing a gentle hand on your thigh as she furrows her eyebrows at your distant far off look.

wanda had no idea what was going through your head, not a single clue as to what was about to come out of your lips.

“do you ever think meant to be together? or are we just destined to be some sort of parallel line that run close but never touch”

a flicker of panic come over wanda’s face and her gentle caress on your thigh stops abruptly.

the air in the car now feels heavier, as if the spoken words have broken the ‘casual-ness’ of your spoken agreement.

wanda always hoped you two would speak about this, but when you were sober and coherent.

it came out of your lips so naturally, as if you’d said it before.

like this has been weighing heavily on your mind for a while.

wanda’s heart clenched, especially at the fact that she had finally realized that you’d been wondering about the same thing she had for years.

“i-“

wanda was completely and utterly dumbfounded for the first time when it came to you. she often, no— not often, always had an idea of what would come out of your mouth.

she often found herself staring at you when you’d speak to your friends from across the room. she’d smile at how animatedly you’d react to people words and how you’d cover your mouth as you’d giggle at a joke someone said. she could easily pride herself in the fact that she knew you.

but this, what you’d just said, had her tongue tied.

she wished you were sober. she wished you were sober so she could confess that she’d been in love with you for so long, before you two even agreed to get into bed with each other. that ever since you two were nineteen during your first year of college, she couldn’t stop thinking of you in a way that friends shouldn’t think of each other in.

but you were drunk.

you were seeing someone and so was she.

so she made the hard decision to keep her silence and take you home safely, without any casualties.

“you’re drunk,” she says sadly, her eyes showing every ounce of emotion going in through her head, “let’s save this for another day”

that day never came.

walking through the door of wanda’s apartment to get into the party wanda said she’d throw you, you’re instantly greeted with a bunch of your closest friends and a few extra guests who happened to be their plus ones.

immediately, you found yourself scanning the room and smiling at the people who were in the space. you could hear chatter and laughter, warming your heart knowing that it all came from the people you knew and loved.

with soft music in the background and the smell of wanda’s cooking, you feel immediately at ease with the atmosphere of the party.

you walk in and are greeted by your friends wishing you a happy birthday. after thanking them and giving them hugs, you find yourself by the drink table to try and loosen up.

wanda was considerate enough, as always, to ensure that the people who were invited to the party were people you could actually stand to hold a conversation with unlike other parties where you had to endure endless small chat that rotted at your brain.

speaking of wanda, you’d yet to see her even though this is her apartment. you try your best to subtly look around the room for any sight of the girl who takes up space in your mind every day.

scanning the room, you look for the dark haired girl but come up short. pouring softly, you take another sip of your drink and go to find natasha who has a look of amusement on her face as she watches you search for wanda.

“how nice of you to finally make it to your own birthday party,” she teases, “you look nice. is this the dress wanda bought you?”

it was. in fact, you’d never been a fan of dressing too girly until wanda coaxed you into letting her buy you a dress, and this one happened to be the most recent one she’s bought you.

she was always a fan of how baby blue looked on you. she liked it so much on you that she took it upon herself to buy you another two dresses, each could be used for different events.

this specific dress fell just below mid thigh and you paired it with a simple pair of white heels. you kept your makeup natural and did your hair, subconsciously styling yourself the way you know wanda would compliment. i mean, she is the one who bought you this dress and threw you this party.

what are friends with benefits for if not that?

trying to hide a small blush at natasha’s words, you nod softly and try to look away to avoid her incessant teasing.

she laughs softly and nudges your shoulder, “i haven’t seen her”

you turn back to her with a furrow of your brows and try to act like you don’t know what she’s talking about.

“your girlfriend,” she says in a monotone voice, as if it’s obvious who she’s talking about.

a small pout forms on your lips as you realize that no one’s seen wanda. everything seemed to be flowing smoothly and it didn’t seem like she needed to go out to get anything for the party, so where could she be?

turning back to natasha and excusing yourself to go grab a quick snack from the kitchen, you turn on your heel to grab a quick breather before having to go back out and socialize all night.

while at the table, you feel a presence right next to you, staring. agatha.

“well, well,” she begins in that tone of hers, “it seems like your girlfriend isn’t yours anymore, huh? is that why you’re all alone?”

you quickly whip your head towards her. not yours anymore? your body feels like it’s gone cold and you can’t pry your eyes away from agatha, almost trying to urge her to say something else, to continue on with what she just started.

“what do you mean?”

agathas’s smirk widens as she realizes shes hit a nerve.

“well, she’s not glued to you like usual. no cozying up, no fetching you whatever you need, having you on her lap. i mean, what do you mean what do i mean?”

patience wearing thin and not wanting to deal with agatha beating around the bush, you step closer to her with a firm look on your face, “where is wanda? who’s she with?”

agatha is caught off guard by your sudden jealous and angry demeanor, she drops the act.

tilting her head towards the crowd, and giving you a look of pity, “sorry, babe. last i saw her she was cozying up with a girl with a green dress. you took to long to get your girl.”

your blood runs cold for the umpteenth time in just the past twenty minutes. it’s almost like your body knew this was coming but your brain didn’t. had you just lost wanda? was it for good this time?

you turn your head to look for natasha in the living room, she’s already looking at you with a look of pity. she nods her head to the opposite side of the living room, gesturing towhere wanda is with a dark haired girl.

a knot twists inside of your chest and it feels like the air has been knocked out of you. it’s like a movie you hate but can’t tear your eyes away from. wanda looks beautiful, happy.

and you hate it.

the two look comfortable together, sitting too close for your liking. wanda’s left leg is over her right and the girl has her hand placed on her thigh.

wanda’s looking at her with a look you believed was only meant for you. the softly smile on her face and the way her eyes drift down to the girls lips makes you sick.

they’re well into a conversation and you can see how wanda is laughing at her jokes, placing her hand on the girl’s forearm as she throws her head back in a fit of laughter.

it seems all too natural and intimate.

every interaction you watch them share feels like a blow to the stomach, the air feeling like it’s being knocked out of you again.

in this moment, you slowly begin to realize that wanda was never yours. every shared moment that you two shared together, every kiss and caress, was just a way to pass the time.

you feel nauseous.

you excuse yourself from agatha and quickly find a way to wanda’s patio, where it’s vacant and you can hide for a while out here.

wanda’s apartment had a beautiful view of the city. you two often sat outside together and cuddled with a blanket and a cup of coffee after work often. you found comfort in wanda, even if you were unsure of what you two were.

she worked hard for everything she had in life and it was something you truly admired about her. she didn’t have the easiest upbringing and the fact that she still remains soft after it all and continued to be a beautiful is something you love about her.

replaying the conversation with both natasha and agatha, you can’t help but feel like a complete idiot as you realize how everything almost felt as if it was foreshadowing to this very moment.

you hear the door to the patio open but don’t turn back, you already know who it is.

familiar soft footsteps stop right next to you and you immediately smell her perfume. it’s the same one you gave her a few years ago and for the first time, it makes you sick.

“you’re wearing the dress,” amusement in her voice as she looks at the city with you, “and you look beautiful”

you smile softly but don’t engage in conversation, just acknowledging her compliment. wanda frowns softly at your lack of attention, not used to you immediately turning around and throwing back a flirt remark at her.

watching you from the side of her eye, she can tell just by your body language that something is bothering you.

you two stand at the patio railing for another few minutes, just in each others presence, until she decides to point out the elephant in the room.

“are you okay?” she asks, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

wanda’s concern warms your heart, but you know it’s just meant to be in a friendly way. the way she always looks out for you always tugs on your heart strings.

you want to get angry with her. you want to yell and scream at her to get the hell away from you. ask her why she would string you along with pretty words and gentle gestures that screamed ‘i love you.’

but you can’t.

because at the end of the day, somehow you always find yourself back in wanda’s arms and you could never tell her you hate her. it just isn’t true. it couldn’t ever be true.

forcing the emotion down your throat, you force yourself to tell her you’re okay. forcing a smile as you look at her, you try to fake it.

but wanda knows you.

“bub,” with a soft voice, “what’s wrong?”

there it is. she knows exactly what to say, how to say it, and how to get her way.

“i just,” a deep breath, “i didn’t know you’d be bringing a date to the party.”

wanda’s face falters and she doesn’t know what to say. the girl back there was not at all her date, nor could she even fathom the idea of bringing another girl when today was supposed to be about you.

she dismissively waves a hand in front of her as she looks away, almost trying to deflect and avoid the topic, but she sees the way you’re trying to hide your hurt at the whole situation.

she begins picking at her finger nails, a nervous habit you’ve tried to help her stop. trying to figure out what to say, she stares at the ground. the last thing she’d ever want to do it hurt you, and yet here she was.

“she’s,” a slight moment of hesitation “she’s not my date. she just..”

her voice falters and she doesn’t know how to carry on so she just sighs and looks at you with an apologetic look.

wanda looks beautiful. i mean, how could she not? she’s wearing the outfit you love so much. the black pants and white top that you’ve always said makes her look sophisticated. you two always laugh at that, especially since the thought of you two now looking and acting like fully fledged adults is something that neither of you could never wrap your heads around.

“she’s just someone i’m talking to for the night, i swear” wanda fidgets uncomfortably, unsure of how to navigate this conversation. she’s never seen this side of you, the way your hidden jealousy wants to boil over.

you give her a sad smile and just shake your head, silently telling her she doesn’t have to continue. placing your hands over hers, you hold onto them tightly and bring them up to your lips to place a soft kiss against her knuckles.

“thank you for the party, wands”

wanda panics immediately, the way you said that felt like it had some sense of finality to it. anxiety fills her chest and she feels like her legs could give out at any minute. she tries to say something, anything, to get you to stay with her.

but she’s caught off guard and she doesn’t have anything on the tip of her tongue, except for the three words she’s wanted to say for so long.

giving her a hug, you hold her tightly and allow yourself to feel her touch one last time. you want to tell her you love her, tell her everything that you’ve been meaning to say.

but you fall short, like on every occasion you’ve wanted to confess.

you give her a kiss on the cheek and hold her waist as you pull back, smiling softly at her.

in this moment, you fully understand what natasha meant by telling you, “if you’re not going to tell her how much she means to you and you love her, you need to let her go. you know she deserves that much.”

wanda tries to hold onto you tightly, as if you’ll float away if she even let go for a fraction of a second. her heart was racing and she was on the verge of tears.

you release wanda as you take a step back, looking at her face and trying to take in as much of her as possible knowing this very well may be the last time you see her.

“i’ll see you.”

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hey no hold on you don't have to be nice to men who are already actively being mean to you or something. Just don't be a fucking TERF who thinks men are born inherently evil and incapable of change. I thought the point was "if all I can be is a monster then I may as well accept it" not "oh no girls snap at me when I tell them they shouldn't have rights"??

The guy escaped the pipeline but the point of the post isn't about guys who are IN IT it's about boys who aren't. Who are 12, 15, not assholes yet. It's about stopping them from BECOMING alt right, not how to handle people who are already.

Like if you are told that identifying as man or being born in a male body (or both, a lot of people say both) makes you evil in itself. That you are discriminatory by default. You might decide there's no point in being kind because you'll always fail. I know you know men are individuals but just because you know that doesn't mean everyone does. TERFs certainly don't, and radical feminism is popping off at the same time all this other shit is happening. Their whole THING is that men are violent rapists from birth who can never be changed, and doing damage control rather than working for actual equality. There are people who genuinely believe that cis men, and trans men and trans women as well, are all dangerous and need to be locked out of everyone else's spaces.

"but TERFs aren't leftist" firstly they claim to be, but secondly...lots of queer people a d self-described leftists have been parroting their talking points without even realizing it. "I wish I lived in a world with no men lol, men DNI, kill all men hehe" reblogging posts from literal TERFs and not realizing it because they didn't say anything bad about trans people specifically, and because they go "don't worry trans men, you are also included in my DNI and posts about wanting you dead. Also trans women aren't men so I don't want you dead and you can reblog"

"sorry I'll delete that post now I didn't realize the "we should invent a disease that wipes out men" post was made by a TERF whoopsies"

If you already understand that men aren't evil by some god given nature design then the post.... isn't ABOUT you???? Yes there's plenty of people who know better than that but there are also plenty of people who don't. It depends on who you're seeing in your algorithm, or on Tumblr who you're following. Just don't let posts like that spread, so we can hopefully keep them from reaching too many people

You can still tell people who are actively discriminatory to fuck off. And you SHOULD. Sexists and rapists don't deserve to be coddled. But a pipeline starts slowly, creeps up over months or years as you listen to more and more voices of hate. This just helps people from starting that path- because a lot of them would hate the very person they are now in the beginning. It started slow

Edit: for emphasis or in summary i guess, If you already know men aren't born evil then the only thing you have to worry about is shutting down TERFs and people who parrot them. If you think the parroting is done with well intentions then you can always explain why gender essentialism itself is harmful and anti-femenist besides. Stop the rise of that and it can help

"as a guy who escaped the alt-right pipeline, [*blames it on Misandry*]"

[windvexer]

Smaller tarot spreads aren't necessarily easier or more beginner friendly. They can actually be more difficult, IMO

Drawing large spreads as soon as you begin learning tarot has a lot of advantage. Studying individual cards and working slowly with 1 or 3-card draws may work for some people, but this isn't the only or even the best way to learn tarot.

Reading fewer cards isn't always easier!

To me, the "magic" of tarot is linking cards and seeing patterns of information across a spread.

The job of a tarot reader is not memorizing cards. Memorizing card meanings is not required to be an effective reader.

IMO, the job of a tarot reader is to find patterns and narratives within a spread.

This can be easier to do with larger spreads, and harder with small spreads.

The purpose of a 3 card draw is not to individually interpret 3 cards.

The purpose is to discover a pattern within the cards. If it's a beginning/middle/end spread, do the cards seem to start off in a dreary way, and develop into a good/positive outcome? Is the middle card a road bump, while the beginning and end cards are smooth sailing?

Once you find patterns within a spread, the narrative can make itself readily apparent.

In a beginning/middle/end spread, if the general portent of the cards appears to be poor/better/best, then we might say that the general shape of the reading is an upwards trajectory.

So, what meanings of the cards fit the shape of an upward trajectory?

Almost all tarot cards have contradictory, mutually exclusive, or unrelated sets of meaning.

If a card's meanings include responsibility/drudgery/burden/mistake/success after work, then which meaning applies?

If that card is at the beginning of the upwards trajectory, the specific meanings that fit in might be meanings of burden or mistake.

If that card is at the end of the upwards trajectory, then it is more likely that the meaning of success after work applies.

But it would not be possible to use the pattern of the spread to shape the narrative in a 1 card draw. There are not enough cards to form a pattern.

The purpose of a spread is to facilitate linking the cards in such a way that patterns of information rise to the surface like cream.

This makes discovering the meanings of each card easier, not more difficult.

This can also mean that for beginners, larger spreads can be easier to read because patterns can be more apparent and easier to rely on when choosing narrative themes.

I have a particular favorite spread which I have been using for almost 17 years; my elemental quarters spread.

This spread has a few variations, one of which is the 12 card variation.

12 cards may seem like a heck of a lot for a spread, but it actually gets really simple when you start using tarot to read patterns instead of trying to recall memorized definitions.

In this colorful elemental spread, there are four cards that represent fire, and one quartet that represents fire.

Suppose that you believe fire represents things like passion and drive.

You are reading this spread for someone, and every single fire card is reversed.

Despite the clutter of so many cards, an immediate pattern jumps forth: this person has a serious blockage in the passion and drive in their life, that is permeating every area of their life.

Now that we know this, we can start looking at the meanings for each fire card relating to blockage, delay, or obstacles.

Because of the size of the spread, patterns can be much easier to see, and each card can be more quickly refined.

As a reader, a large spread gives you the ability to say, "I may not know what this card in particular means, but based on the pattern I am seeing in your emotion/relationships section, there is a lot of hope on the horizon."

Larger spreads reduce the need to perform an in-depth reading on each card.

If you have a 3 card draw and one card isn't speaking to you, then you are only interpreting 2/3 of a reading. And that's not a lot.

If you have a 7 card spread and one card isn't speaking to you, then you don't need to beat your head against a wall trying to unlock the secrets of that one guy. You can just say, "I don't know for sure, but based on the pattern, it seems like something bad vibes will happen before you get to the good events coming up."

There is no minimum amount of information you are supposed to get from each card.

You can draw 1 card and write a paragraph on it. Or, you can draw 10 cards and choose one key word from each, representative of the pattern(s) that you see.

The second reading may provide more information using fewer words, and be more accurate too - because the interplay of cards influences what key words best fit, instead of grappling with many meanings of a single card without direction.

You can get less than 1 key word from a card.

You can draw 3 cards, find the pattern in them, and choose 1 key word for all three.

You can draw 12 cards and get a 4 word reading.

And I stand by my belief that this 4 word reading may well ring more true than a paragraph of generic definitions pulled from a single card (shaped, if the reader is lucky, by context clues the querent has provided when they submitted their question).

I've been reading tarot for almost 2 decades (err... going on 17 years) and only in recent years have I been able to successfully read 3 card draws.

In my opinion, smaller spreads and draws can be significantly more challenging.

If you are getting stuck with your tarot practice, try moving on from "card meanings" and into "pattern-shaped narratives".

(Which is the term I made up for it)

[darlingchronicles]

JJ AND THE GOLDEN GIRL HEADCANONS III

pairing: jj x fem!goodgirl!reader

word count: 2.4k

based on these concepts and season 4, ep 1. spoilers enjoy!

Poguelandia: how do they start their simple life with the gang?

ఌ so golden girl does join the crew with all the treasure hunting starting season two i believe, (i have a whole universe so there will be more on their adventures and even fics so stay tuned) but let's fast forward to the beginning of season four (no major or relevant spoilers). she is on board with starting a business and was the one to suggest they sell food on top of providing for the fishing folks. she is not happy when jj decides to go on a limb and buy the property for wayyyy too much, but it is what it is. She doesn't help much with the building since she doesn't really like it and she almost hit her finger with a hammer one time, but she is big with decorating. she found the huge shark and helped haul it towards the business. she helped paint and make the entire thing a home. she's never had a true home so when they finish she straight up cries from how happy she is there. she works the counter and restocks the entire store and has her own little side business. again, like said before, she's very crafty so she makes a bunch of bracelets and sells them at poguelandia. they're a huge hit (especially with teen girls and children) so you can often find her at the counter helping customers and making bracelets at the same time. she does take custom orders. she also has a sandwich named. it's called "flounder's revenge" (as in the previous headcanons, she's afraid of sharks) and it's a bacon, avocado sourdough melt with chipotle sauce with a little shark hook toothpick on top. needless to say, she very happy there.

✔︎ jj never had a home to rely on or even call home. of course he had his friends as his home, but actually call something a home is beautiful. when they complete poguelandia, he is estatic. he jumps for golden girl and hug like there was no tomorrow. when they start to get busy, jj always makes time for golden girl when he can. he'll help her with bracelets by grabbing whatever material he sees and he was elated when she gave him the first one she made for the business. if he's in the shop, he'll help her customers and with restocking the higher shelves. he always requests a 'founder's revenge' and chuckles every time she narrows her eyes (he's the one who gave her the nickname). jj and golden girl end their nights on the dock, watching the ocean and sky after their busy day before retiring to the room them both moved into. sarah and john b have theirs. pope and cleo have theirs. and now jj and golden girl are officially moved in together. jj is on cloud nine.

how has their relationship progressed?

ఌ golden girl is more trusting of jj. since starting the business, she learned to trust him even more. she's watched jj grow into a more responsible person, of course he has his moments where shes reminded that he's still a boy at heart, but he's growing and it makes her happy. with more trust, she opens up to him more about her feeling. previously, golden girl was always so reluctant to tell jj her feelings because she was scared he would run or start an argument, but jj doesn't. he listens. maybe he won't always agree or see the "big deal" but he takes into account her feelings and notices her telling him more.

✔︎ jj has become much more softer with his girl after they start up the business. they're family now. they all know it. she's best friends with his best friends and they're totally in love with each other. not only that, but he says "i love you" more often now. previously, it was only for special occasions and the odd moment and whenever golden girl said it outside of those moment, he would only just kiss her in order to convey his feelings. he was never good with words, but now, he wants to say it all the time. there is so much more security since they're not running anymore. so "i love you" is a staple now. it was such a dramatic shift that john b did a double take when jj said it before he left to go get more bait for a second and came back a minute later.

how much do they argue?

ఌ here's the thing with golden girl. she hates arguments. not for the same reason as jj, but because she hates when there's no peace. she despises it. she tends to cry whenever she's frustrated and can't sleep if it's a prolonged one. she has a deep sense of guilt as if everything is her fault. which it isn't but she has that. previously, jj and her got into disagreements and arguments due to their lack of communication. she has a lot of words she afraid to say and jj isn't good with words and tends to keep them to himself. if they do argue, it's because golden girl doesn't want to say what's on her mind and jj's just trying to help. they never go to bed angry though. they never sleep in separate rooms either. neither of them can bare it. sometimes she'd cop up and just let it go but then jj can't let it go and vice versa.

✔︎ jj hates arguments because before, arguments meant violence. it meant breaking things and tear up a storm to be heard. as said, jj isn't good with words and if he can't say them, it becomes an issue. jj hates it when golden girl doesn't say anything when something is clearly bothering her. he hates that he wants to force it out of her. so previously, they did have a lot of icing out periods due to the lack of communication. now, they're more open to each other. jj once said he doesn't call them fights, but instead, disagreements. they disagree. they don't fight. he'd never be able to fight her. sometimes he'll try and let it go, but when he can't, he'll tell her. and she won't be mad. she won't yell. she won't hit. she listens. it's more than enough for him.

how have they had progressed physically? (slightly NSFW)

ఌ it is a fun one. golden girl hadn't let them cross that line for the longest time. the only thing they've really done is make out and dry hump each other. nothing more. it isn't until they have poguelandia and have more stability that she allow them to take it further. she was surprised that jj didn't mind it (we'll get to that in a bit) and that was what made her take that step. it was kind of nerve racking for her because it would be her first time and she knew jj had experience and so did all their friends (john and sarah, specifically) so she was sneaky with her little innuendos because she didn't want to say it out loud. she'd let him put his hand in her back pocket and whenever they hugged, she'd place a kiss on his neck. whenever they laid down, she lay her hand on his lower stomach and trail her finger up and down. she got kind of careless and would even stare at him with her little doe eyes and have that little shimmer in them. she had fuck-me eyes for days. eventually, he got the hint.

✔︎ so jj didn't know for a while. he had been patient with her because he knew he couldn't fuck their relationship up. he understood she had no experience whatsoever with sex or anything of the sorts. he didn't mind because he knew that forcing sex or sex in general ruined a lot of relationships. also at the beginning of their relationship, jj was really uncertain about her really liking him and thought she'd walk away eventually. to ensure the blow was less of an impact if it happened (it didn't, of course) he kept himself from suggesting they sleep together. of course, he did like making out with her and dry humping was really getting to him, but he respected her wishes. honestly, they went so long with doing anything, he was prepared to wait for marriage if she wanted to (marriage was addressed in the previous headcanons). but when golden girl was much more touchy and carefree with her kisses, he got suspicious. the first time she kissed his neck unwarranted during a hug, he froze. he coughed and pressed one to her head before walking away before a boner began to form. there was so other signs, but it was her eyes that gave him the hint. the way she'd look at him with her mouth slightly parted was when he finally gor the hint.

☆ extra! they finally did "it" one night when they we alone at the house. Everyone but them had gone and crashed as Heywards for the night (JJ had to catch bait and Golden Girl was busy making bracelets and doing school work that day). So the house was empty. They didn't expect it at all, but it was when they started kissing in their shared bed when a little spark was lit and the two of them were undressing before they knew it. jj had stopped to ask if everything was okay and she nodded, giving him approval. a very slow and beautiful night for the both of them. it was raining softly outside, the lights were off and only the light was the sparks of lightning outside and the covers were soft and warm from the wash. she definitely had to wash them afterwards though. he was so gentle and caring, truly understanding that this was a passage that she was taking for the first time, and listened and watched her to ensure everything was pleasurable for her. definitely made sure she came multiple times as well. (i could go more into detail ;) but thats for another post) the next morning the glances and wandering hands gave the gang a heads up and they had shit eating smiles and poked fun at them the entire morning.

what are date nights like now?

ఌ it is much more detailed. golden girl decides on the places they go to eat and has jj try new foods he hasn't tried before. they can spurge a little more, but it's not anything huge. they just like trying new things. clearly. and she still likes the simple things. they'll go out on the new boat and swim for an afternoon before retiring to the house and playing a game of cards with their cans of coke next to them. the tradition continues.

✔︎ jj tries to make things slightly more fancy. he'll buy roses for her almost every date night. one time, he bought her a dress to wear for one of their dates because he over heard her saying to the girls that she wanted to buy new clothes with her next month's share of the profit. she was getting tired of wearing the same clothes, especially on her dates with jj. he decided to surprise her and the look on her face made it all the more worth it. he knew she didn't like tight clothes because of the kildare heat and saw it in a shop on the mainland and knew she'd like it. he definitely gets her more gifts now. he always mades "mini" dates where they'd go on break from the shop and lay in the hammock with some music playing. the simple life.

are they open to a future family together?

ఌ golden girl is one hundred percent open to starting a family together. she wants that. not now, obviously. they're too young. he just turned 20 and she was still 19 for a bit. but she knew she wanted it with him. sometimes, she'd imagine him with a baby in his hands - a girl and she'd look just like him. she'd have that little mischievous twinkle in her eyes that said she was gonna cause trouble. just like him. and gosh she wanted it. but until then, she knew she'd just grow more in love with him. and yes, she is open to marrying him. she knew she'd have to wait a bit more until then as they were not together for as long as sarah and john b, but whenever he popped the question, she'd say yes.

✔︎ jj knows he's gonna propose to her. he started saving up for a real ring. he knew sarah and john b had done their own thing, but he was gonna do her right and get a real ring and a real wedding band. he doesn't know when, but he knows that when the time is right, they'll get married. he knows the time is soon. he is kind of anxious to see what she says, but he's hopeful she'll say yes. and kids? oh yeah, he's thought about it. he's seen her with children around the island and he knows she'll be an amazing mom. he's just more anxious about turning out like his dad. he doesn't want that, but he knows he can do better. he has to be better. but sometimes he'll imagine her in a dress with a little baby bump or her carrying a little girl (he wants girls) and showing her how to fish or throw a punch and it makes him hopeful for the future. he has hope for one of the first times of his life.

☆ extra! baby names are definitely in their heads. golden girl likes the princess names or something about light or hopefulness. elena, estelle, aurora, eve, juliette, valentine or persephone. she leaned more towards persephone or juliette cause then they call her percy or jules. those are just some of them. she has a lot more and is open to suggestions. she thought a j name would be nice since she'd match with her father. jj has also thought about it in great detail. he likes lorelai, eloise, victoria, ariel, marlee, or artemis. he wants her to have a nickname like him. he is more leaning towards ariel because of the whole joke about flounder. but if they have a boy, definitely something like rex, james, apollo or atlas. in the future, they have two girls.

thedarlinglore: after the shitshow of the last ep of season 4, i needed some reminder of love and hope from these two. love them dearly. i do want to go more into dept about them so a few more headcanons, blurbs and fics are coming up along with another beautiful new reader! i have mentioned before. stay tuned and rewatch ep. 6 of season 4 because wooo that man is fine as hell. love you, darlings.

➣ my last "jj" work | "oh schroeder" ➣ more concepts | jj maybank

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

2. with you all night

contains: 18+ content mdni! nsfw at all lol smut and a bit of fluff towards the end!

summary: your night gets much more interesting when you decide to go back to your ex’s apartment.

a/n: this starts exactly where the last part ended!

part one: pushing it down and praying

reentering the main room, you quickly find matthew still talking with his friends, completely oblivious. you force a smile and touch his arm lightly, “hey, i really don’t feel good— think i’m gonna head home and go to bed.”

his brows furrow, believing your act. “did you want me to give you a ride home?”

“no, no! i’ll just get an uber! i don’t want to take you away from your friends.” you give him a reassuring smile.

he nods, “alright, well text me when you get home.” he says before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

with that, you make your way through the crowd once again. your heart racing as you grow closer to the front door.

you worry that hamzah has already left as you finally open the door. but there he was, leaning against a wall with his hands shoved in his pockets.

it was much darker outside, the empty street only illuminated by a few warm toned street lights.

“figured you’d ditch me.” he says, his tone teasing.

“thought about it.” you reply, smirking as you begin walking down the sidewalk.

he quickly falls into step beside you, so close that you can feel your hands brush every so often.

the tension crackles between the two of you, the quiet night air only heightening it.

“so, does ‘new guy’ know you’ve got terrible taste in music?” hamzah teases, tilting his head to the side, glancing over at you.

you roll your eyes, “he doesn’t have terrible taste- he actually listens to my playlists without skipping every other song”, you shoot back, unable to hide the grin on your face.

“ouch!” he presses a hand to his chest dramatically, “hey! i let you play your music in my car. that’s love, you know.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “yeah, well that is because you wouldn’t know good music if it hit you in the face.”

he chuckles, leaning in a little closer, “i knew a good thing when i saw it,” he says softly, allowing his words to linger in the crisp night air.

you roll your eyes, scoffing. “that line might work on your other hook-ups, but i know you too well for that.”

he grins, lifting his hands in a pretend surrender.

“alright, alright. so maybe i am laying it on thick. but you can’t blame me— you show up looking like that and expect me to just…behave?”

“mm maybe that was my plan all along, to see if you’ve learned to control yourself.”

he laughs lowly, shaking his head to himself. “you’re dangerous, you know that?”

“dangerous?”, you chuckle. “that’s rich coming from you.”

you’re almost at his building now, and the banter has done absolutely nothing to kill the tension between you. once you reach his door, he turns to you, eyes flickering over your face.

“you’ve still got time to change your mind.” he whispers, his tone sounding almost daring.

you sigh, “actually, i’m just here because i wanted to see if you’re apartment is still as messy as i remember.”

he chuckles as he unlocks the door, “guess you gotta come in then.”

as you walk inside, your heart is racing. after you hear the door click shut behind you, you feel his hands pull at your waist, turning you around so you’re face-to-face. he walks you backwards until your back meets the cold surface of the front door.

“seriously, y/n, you’re sure about this?” he questions, his dark eyes staring into yours.

all of your doubts has melted away with the warmth of his touch. you wanted him bad. you were sure about that.

“i’m a hundred-percent sure, hamzah.”

in half a second, his lips are connecting with yours. kissing you with an urgency that sent shivers down your body. his hands settle to your hips, pressing your body against the door as he quickly deepens the kiss, almost as if he was making up for lost time.

the familiarity of his warmth, his scent, the pressure of his body against yours— it’s all so undeniably comfortable and intoxicating. you felt like a missing piece of yourself was put back in place.

you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. his lips place slow kisses along your jaw to your neck as his hands steadily hold you in place.

you close your eyes, allowing yourself to indulge in the sensation.

he pulls away, resting his forehead to yours. “i don’t want to mess this up.” he says breathlessly.

you cradle his face between your hands, “then don’t.” you smile.

that’s all he needs to hear before he presses a quick kiss to your lips and slipping his hand into yours, leading you down the familiar hallway to bedroom.

he glances back at you every so often, making sure that you were real behind him— that this was all really happening.

as you reach his bedroom, the dim light of the hallway spills in. the air of the dark room is thick with anticipation.

he closes the door softly behind you. his gaze then meets yours- his eyes are filled with a certain longing, a certain hunger.

he walks towards you, his hands landing on your hips as he pulls you into another kiss. it’s heated. sloppy. urgent. his fingers press into the skin of your hips as if he simply can’t get enough of you.

he lifts you effortlessly by the hips, causing you to instinctively wrap your legs around him as he carries you to his bed.

he sits at the edge of the bed, holding you down in his lap. his lips crash into yours, his hands slipping under your shirt, wondering aimlessly upon your skin.

you pull away from the kiss and tug at the hem of his t-shirt. hamzah assists you in pulling it off and once it is off, you waste no time running your hands along his biceps, forearms, shoulders, peppering kisses along his jaw.

his head tilts back, “god, i’ve missed you.” he mutters breathlessly.

you lift your head, looking into his eyes, “you never stopped thinking about me, huh?” you tease.

“not for a fucking second.” he replies, a devilish smile plastered on his face as he begins pulling your shirt off of you.

he disregards your shirt, throwing it to the floor.

“lie down for me.” he demands, his voice soft. “wanna see all of you.”

you climb off of his lap, lying down in the middle of his bed. he promptly pulls your skirt down your legs, your underwear coming down with it. you feel vulnerable as you lie completely naked with him watching over you.

however your insecurities dissipate as he whispers, “you’re killing me, y/n. you’re so fucking beautiful and you don’t even know it.”

he gets rid of his jeans, his erection more prominent through just his boxers. he sits down beside you, back flat against his headboard. “c’mere”, he says, motioning you to his lap once again.

the second you straddle him, his mouth finds your nipple, sucking it into his mouth. his fingers splay against your back as you shamelessly rock your hips against his covered erection.

“lift up real quick”, he says patting one of your hips as he gives you the instructions.

you do as he says, going onto your knees.

he leaves a quick kiss to your ribcage before smoothly moving down the mattress, not stopping until his head was perfectly positioned between your thighs.

“sit, baby.” he says. as his hands go to your hips, guiding you to his face. you let out a sharp gasp as your heat reaches his mouth- his tongue instantly working against you.

“fuck, hamzah.” you cry out, your hands flying to the headboard in front of you, desperate to grip onto something.

he hums against you, continuing to eat you out in a way that left you seeing stars. he was absolutely starved for you. prideful, satisfied groans leaving the back of his throat each time you whimpered or moaned incoherent words.

his tongue pushes in and out of you, drags across your folds and circles your clit before sucking on the bundle of nerves.

you let out a loud cry as your pleasure reaches its peak. the orgasm especially intense as you hadn’t had one in a while- matthew’s focus was always on his own pleasure rather than yours.

hamzah’s fingers trace your lower back as you catch your breath. after a moment, he helps you lie back down on the bed beside him.

he hovers over you, “you need a second?”

you shake your head as you smirk, reaching your arms upward and linking your fingers at the nape of his neck. “nope, want you right now.”

he smiles excitedly. “arms above your head.”

you listen to him and watch as he reaches to his nightstand, grabbing his belt that laid on top of it.

“you trust me?” he questions. you nod eagerly.

“use your words, baby. are you okay with this?”

“yes, i want it hamzah.” you reply.

he took your wrists in one of his hands and brought them to the metal bar of his headboard. you felt your heart beat faster as he finished looping your wrists to the bar, restricting your movement.

he bends down, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. then he starts kissing down your jaw, to your neck, your collarbone, between your breasts. you’re almost certain he’s leaving marks as he goes but it feels way too good for you to care.

he gets up for a second, removing his boxers. you bite your lower lip at the sight of his hard erection.

he climbs back over you, positioning one arm on the side of you while he stroke himself with the other.

he begins slowly running his cock up and down through your folds, a feeling that leaves you whimpering and arching your back.

“you’re such a tease.” you whine, causing him to give you a cocky grin as he pushes his erection inside of you.

you moan at the stretch of him inside of you, a pleasurable pain.

a load groan leaves his throat as soon as he’s fully inside of you, his head tilting back and his eyes shutting at the feeling of your warmth around him.

“fuck, you feel so good.” he says, slowly thrusting in and out of you.

all you can do is nod in agreement as your chest rises and falls rapidly, overwhelmed with pleasure.

as he increases his pace, he reaches under your right leg- throwing it over his shoulder so he can push even deeper inside.

your body is completely at his mercy and it turns you on more than you could ever imagine.

your lips part open in pleasure, a moan of his name escaping them every so often. his thrusts get rougher, leaving you feel as if you were literally floating.

gradually, you feel orgasm build once again, feeling even more intense than the last.

“i’m so close, hamzah.” you cry.

“i know, baby, let it all out.” he replies, keeping up his quick pace.

as you hit your peak, you arch your back more than you thought possible, making up for the lack of being able to grip onto anything with your hands. you whimper his name, repeating it as if it was a fucking prayer.

hamzah reaches his high with you, groaning loudly as you feel his warm release inside of you. the feeling was absolutely euphoric. how did you ever last that long without him?

after he pulls out of you, he reaches to the headboard- releasing your wrists from the restraint. then he plops down next to you on the bed, the both of you lying on your backs trying to catch your breaths after your highs.

after a few seconds, you break the silence.

“holy shit, hamzah.” you exclaim, still out of breath from the intensity of your orgasm.

he chuckles, “you gonna admit that you missed me now?” he teases.

“you’re an idiot.” you laugh.

“of course i missed you.” you continue, turning your head towards him.

he grins, putting his arm around you and kissing your temple.

you two lay there for a few minutes, soaking in the silence of the night, feeling comfortable in the dim lighting of his bedroom.

you reach for your phone on the ground, picking it up to check the time. 1:26 am.

“fuck- it’s late. i guess i should go.” you say, shimmying out of his hold and putting your underwear back on.

“just stay the night— i mean, if you want to. you can use my shower and borrow some clothes.” he suggests, seeming a bit nervous.

you consider it, thinking about how the longer you stay, the more painful it’s gonna feel when it’s all over.

but you are tired. and getting an uber at this time would be difficult so it made the most sense to stay, right?

if you were being honest with yourself, you really just wanted to stay a little longer in the place you felt was your second home for so long.

“you sure? i don’t want to intrude.” you look at him.

“you’re not intruding at all, y/n.” he responds quietly.

he throws on his boxers and leads you to the bathroom, grabbing you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers on the way.

he turns on the water for you as soon as the two of you enter the bathroom, letting the water warm up. he leaves the folded up clothes on the counter and pulls out a spare toothbrush from under his bathroom sink.

“alright- there’s a new toothbrush and all my skincare stuff is still in this drawer if you want to use it any of it, uh- need anything else?” he says, turning back around to you.

“no, this is good, thank you.” you smile softly.

he goes to leave, and then you stop him.

“hamzah, wait.” as nervous you are to ask, you simply crave more of his presence. “will you stay and shower with me?” you question, your voice quiet.

he nods. without a word he walks towards you, helping you take off you underwear. his touch soft and gentle.

after removing his boxers, he guides you into the shower. the two of you engulfed in the steam of the shower, facing one another.

you wash each other’s hair, a constant stream of smiles and giggles coming from both of you. there was such a sweet innocence to the moment. you felt as if you were in your own little world, just you and hamzah.

you completely let yourself forget that you were ex’s, that you were dating matthew, that this was gonna completely change things moving forward.

you just let yourself enjoy what was happening.

you two complete your night routines together. cracking jokes as you bump elbows in the small bathroom.

after, you curl up in his bed. the familiar scent of his sheets and the warmth of hamzah’s body next to yours bringing you immense comfort as you drift off into sleep.

…

you wake up to the soft morning light filtering through sheer curtains. looking to your side, you find blue curled up next to you. at the end of the bed, red lies sprawled out with his belly up.

“you two haven’t changed at all.” you laugh, reaching down to pet red.

at that moment, hamzah walks into the room carrying a tray with two coffees and a brown paper bag.

“hey sleepy girl. the cats already fighting over you?”

you laugh at his question, “they missed me.” you smile as blue crawls into your lap.

he hands you a coffee and pulls out a bagel from the paper bag.

“iced vanilla latte with oat milk. extra ice. everything bagel. extra cream cheese.” he recites proudly, waiting for your reaction.

“show off.” you tease, taking a bite of the bagel before thanking him.

you two sit on the bed, eating your bagels while playing with the cuddly kittens next to you.

you feel as if the two of you have slipped right back into routine, as if no time had ever passed at all.

but the truth was time had passed. and you two had ended things for a reason. and now, things were about to get even more complicated.

a/n: i never know when to stop lol hope u guys enjoyed it!!!!! k bye muah

[sh00kspeared]

Vince (my main V) still sleeps with a stuffed animal, even as an adult. Johnny relentlessly made fun of him for it till Vince ended up finding Johnny’s childhood stuffed animal (Snakie, a stuffed snake) in the same pistis Sophia nook where he found his dogtags (part of my Johnny backstory headcanon, more on that soon). Johnny stopped making fun of him after that.

Another thing about Vince is that he loves food and fun drinks, especially caffeinated stuff. in fact, his afterlife drink is coffee based. (the recipe is:

- 4 oz coffee

- 1 oz Bailey's

- 1 oz spiced rum

- .5 oz half and half

- Chilled glass

- On the rocks

- Rim with any chocolate sauce, top with whipped cream (preferably coffee flavored), and garnish with some coffee beans)

Pic of Vince, just for fun:

More about him on his and Johnny’s band website: https://landsndgrooves.wixsite.com/news

Moving on to my second OC- Barrett. Barrett is a new OC and is one of the main characters in the “novel” I’m writing about Johnny’s childhood. Remember when Johnny said that his friend sacrificed his life for his during the war? Y’all can fill in the rest :’(

Anyway, Barrett absolutely loves the ocean. It begins as a childhood fascination and eventually turns into a passion— his plans throughout the story are to go to college and get a degree in marine biology.

Barrett also happens to be Johnny’s first ever crush— Johnny struggles with this, as he was already getting called the f slur in school for being somewhat weak compared to the other boys in his grade (‘weak?’ You may say. ‘Johnny isn’t weak!’ And to that I say: the war totally changed him as a person, and I personally believe that despite his violent outbursts, he was overall a quiet kid).

I don’t actually have any in-game pics of Barrett because he was a teenager when he died, and teenager NPVs are hard as shit to make, so I’ll just describe him. My main inspo for his physical appearance is Miles Morales, and he bears resemblance to Milt Nauman (the ripperdoc who patches Johnny up in-game, aka Barrett’s father).

I’ve got the story of Johnny and Barrett here and it’s currently in the works— chapter 6 will be out soon!

I miss the cyberpunk community posting OC lore so reblog this with a fun fact about your V or not-a-V. Share the lore. Share it.

(You can give one sentence or one essay or anything in between. Dealer’s choice)

[auclairedetoru]

Hi! I saw your requests were open and I wanted to see if you could write something fluffy with Levi and a reader that’s shorter than him 🥺

Maybe something where he’s doting on them? I adore the idea of a cold Levi who’s soft for his partner and I’m part of the minority of people who is actually shorter than him lol. I see a lot of fics describing the reader as taller but not enough for the other shorties out here 🙂‍↕️

Finally. The end of the day.

Levi lets out a loud sigh as the door of his bedroom closes behind him. His head leans against it and his eyes close. After hours of training, meetings, monitoring, and doing a shit ton of paperwork, he's finally back to the comfort of his bedroom at exactly midnight.

He lifts his head back up and looks around the small space, an unfamiliar (to others at least) smile spreads on his face when his eyes land on the sleepy yet smiling person sitting on his bed.

“Welcome back home, Levi.”

God, their sweet voice makes him melt into a puddle every time. He can't believe he gets to call such a precious person his partner, he considers himself a very lucky man.

“I'm sorry I woke you up, my love.” he says gently as he takes off his jacket. They shake their head and watch him as he tries his best to take off the belts wrapped around his body as fast as possible, “it's okay, darling. I wasn't sleeping, you know I can't without you.”

Levi cups their face after he is done and leans down to press a soft kiss to their forehead. People would lose their mind if they saw the way he acts and talks to them, in fact, only the people he's closest to in the survey corps (which is very few) know about their relationship, it wouldn't even cross people's minds that the strong and stoic captain who doesn't care if he hurts anyone's feelings is dating the sweet and gentle nurse who once cried with a soldier while trying to stitch him up.

“Did you have a good day today? Any of those brats bothered you?” he caresses their soft cheeks with the pad of his thumbs, mesmerized by the way the light casts a warm glow on their face. They lean into his touch, their eyes closing in relaxation. “everything was okay. Jean and Eren even teamed up to help me carry the new supplies stock and put them on the high shelves for me.”

He chuckles softly and pulls away from them so he can quickly change into more comfortable clothes. He used to sleep in his uniform, belts and all, just in case something happens and he couldn't waste his time putting everything back on, most of the nights he didn't sleep to begin with, but ever since they started sharing the same bed, not only did he find himself falling asleep but he also invested in some soft night clothes so he can cuddle with them without any restrictions.

“Still refusing to use the stool I got you?” he smirks as he starts changing his clothes. They've been dating long enough for them to not care about being naked in front of the other.

“I don't need it! The boxes were just heavy!”

“Hmm, sure you don't,” he teases as he gets under the blanket on his side of the bed (which is obviously the one on the near the bedroom door) and pats his lap with two hands. They huff, followed by a small, almost inaudible "I'm not that short", yet they don't hesitate to straddle his thighs and nuzzle their face in his warm chest. He wraps his arms around their body and presses a kiss on top of their head.

“if you weren't so short you wouldn't be able to fit in my arms all snuggly,” he looks down at their face and smiles at the adorable sight of their cheek pressed firmly on his chest, probably so they're able to hear his heart beat, they told him before that it's their favourite sound, “look at you, you could fit in my pocket, I could take you everywhere with me.”

They look up at him with the sweetest look on their face, their pretty eyes soft and affectionate. He wishes he could freeze this moment and stay like this forever, no titans, no fighting, no heartbreak, just him relaxing with his beloved in his arms.

“Can I stay in your heart instead? I think I'll like it there more.”

Levi lets out a shaky sigh. He's not one to get emotional, he can't even remember the last time he cried because it's been so long, but at that moment he feels a tug at his heart strings and a lump form in his throat. He never thought he'd ever have someone who loves him unconditionally, who would stay up till the late hours waiting for him because they want him to be the last thing they see before they close their eyes, whose presence felt the closest to what he heard others describe as home, who looked past the walls he has up and saw someone worth all their patience.

“You know I can't have you stay anywhere else. I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life.”

“More than tea?” they teasingly raise an eyebrow making him chuckle.

"Yes, my love. More than tea," he replies, gently brushing a strand of hair away from their eyes.

“More than cleaning?”

"now I don't know about that...”

“hey!”

Levi laughs loudly, a deep and hearty sound he never imagined would come from him before he met them. Their melodic giggles join his, filling the air with a positive energy he only experiences around them. At that moment, he feels his heart fill with a great amount of happiness, a feeling he always thought he didn't need, but now can never live without, and it makes him realise that he is now complete.

In the past, he thought that when he'd feel complete he would let go of everything, even life itself. But now, the thought of being separated from the love of his life terrifies him, and for the first time, he wants nothing more than to continue living and breathing, even if it means fighting those ugly monsters every single day.

Is life easy right now? No, Eren Jeager is still a big pain in his ass, and the whole situation with the titans keeps getting worse and worse, but now he gets to come home to moments like these, and they simply make everything better.

I lost the plot and didn't make this very focused on short!reader but it's there nonetheless! I love soft Levi who's a totally different person around his love 💕

[chameleonwritess]

Incoming essay about Yuzuru Fushimi and why I believe he is the least normal Ensemble Stars character

Before we begin, I’d like to thank @normalestenstars both for giving me the motivation to actually write this at last, and for the polls that have allowed me to ponder over the normality of each enstars character, along with how normality would even be gauged. I’m aware that the concept will have differed from person to person, and so I’ll attempt to explain my metric of normality in order to explain why, say, Kanata, Wataru, or HiMERU aren’t my ‘least normal’ character (okay, what is it with blue hair and insanity in enstars, bc Tatsumi is kinda making the most insane list too). I'll also put the essay under the cut because... it got long. But if you wanna learn about Yuzuru, you came to the right place!

I was judging normality to be a combination of life experiences through from childhood to adulthood, behaviour, current responsibilities and activities, ways of reacting to situations, ways of interacting with the world, mental headspace and its subsequent projections, and any juxtapositions between those- particularly with regards to internal and external worlds of a character (this might not make any sense… it made sense to me but I’m hardly a most normal character myself).

First up, as Kanata was dubbed the audience voted least normal, I’ll touch  briefly on which specific aspect differed here between Kanata and Yuzuru that made me choose Yuzuru over Kanata. Both by the general audience and by the characters within the world of Ensemble Stars, Kanata is perceived as weird and strange, and his backstory explains that weirdness very well… perfectly well, basically. Of course he’s weird and outlandish given he grew up believing he was a living god. Meanwhile, Yuzuru is deemed as pretty normal by both characters and the general audience. At least on the surface! The amount of enstars fans I’ve heard call Yuzuru boring just confirms this, really. Who would ever dream of calling Kanata boring? But the characters who know Yuzuru better, or for those who finally get to interact with him more than very surface level, they suddenly uncover that oh shit hang on this guy is TERRIFYING and INSANE and what the actual FUCK IS GOING ON??? (See: Resort Live when Adonis is in the water and when Yuzuru dives to fetch him he felt like he was being followed by a wild carnivore and was confused as to how the hell Yuzuru had hidden that kind of aura up until now). Love how I said brief and then reached this length BUT essentially it’s the juxtaposition of Yuzuru’s external perception versus his actual reality that puts him on top of the weirdness ladder for me. Kanata’s weirdness is very in line with his history, giving him an aspect of normality, or at least expectedness, in my opinion (I’m in no way denying that Kanata is NOT NORMAL, though, don’t worry. My only actual denial of any not normal allocations is Wataru… but we’ll get to that in another essay xoxo)

RIGHT now let’s start with the Yuzuru focus. We’re gonna go back to his past to begin with. And no, I don’t mean the military camp, actually (although the very fact I just said those words should hopefully be clueing you in to Yuzuru’s abnormality). I’ll leave a list at the end of this of all the stories I got my facts from, as well as some key Yuzuru focussed readings if you want to learn more hehe. Saying that, I talk about Yuzuru’s past pre-military because it starts off as a wild backstory even before we get to the slightly more unhinged stuff. He was born into a family of butlers, and thus was fated to work for the Himemiyas and serve them… WHAT???? Yuzuru’s family are essentially slaves, and we know next to nothing about his parents. So many enstars characters are highlighted for having abusive families as an aspect of their abnormality and the weirdness with which they were raised, but yuzuru never gets brought up amongst those. How does this scenario even happen in the modern world???? I am SO CONFUSED and we have basically no answers. Does Yuzuru get paid?????? He’s been a butler since he was BORN so… probably not?? Is he essentially a slave???????? I suspect maybe!! We already know the Himemiyas are NOT EXACTLY THE EPITOME OF MORAL CORRECTNESS (see: they run an orphanage that filters into a fucking military training facility) so I would not put it past them. So- backstory and utter weird environment to be raised in? CHECK!!!! Yuzuru might have been raised in the weirdest environment out of all enstars characters except perhaps Kanata. Or joint weirdest WITH Kanata!! He grew up being trained to be perfect and to be entirely subservient. He had no interaction with peers, no downtime, doesn’t even have his own house given he lives at the Himemiya’s mansion. It’s absolutely insane if you stop and think about it for more than five seconds, and no one ever seems to talk about it??? Yuzuru Fushimi, man.

And we don’t know much about Yuzuru during this time (probably for good reason- he is cagey about anything that makes it look like he doesn’t enjoy his role and boy does this time include those feelings!), but we do know from Tori that he was not naturally talented at being a butler, would make loads of mistakes, and would hide in the shadows and cry over it. Yuzuru was just a KID. He’s only one year older than Tori, but he was expected to perfectly master pretty much every skill ever. He’s way too over-competent at seemingly everything, and as easy as that is to attribute to the military training…. a lot of stuff doesn’t make sense for that. He was trained to do e v e r y t h i n g. Child abuse, yay!! That’s essentially what it is when you think about it!! Were his parents trapped like this too?? How did his parents meet?? Are they the ones trapping him in this role, or is it the Himemiyas??? Because Yuzuru certainly seems to believe that his parents hold the authority, but idk how much of that is a biased perspective from what Yuzuru saw and knew as a child.

Okay. I think I’ve set the scene for why Yuzuru is insane and weird as fuck. I’d also like to give a brief breather from the agonising lore (bc it’s military time next) to let you all know that I’m writing this whilst desperately smacking auto-live bc I’m grinding for Ghostic Treat House Yuzuru <3 fine I love you <3

That’s all the reprise you get, trauma time again! So, you’re probably aware if you only watched the enstars anime to gain familiarity with ! era lore that Yuzuru spent time at a military facility with his good childhood friend Ibara (he would stab me for saying that lol). But that’s not all! So yes, Yuzuru was sent to the Himemiya’s military facility, where they were actually trained for wars, given the Himemiya’s army are actively fighting ppl during the events of Primavera (lol so much for me saving references to the end). Did Ibara and Yuzuru actually see the battlefield? Textual evidence would suggest perhaps, because Ibara mentions it being funny how a man who can face enemy forces alone is afraid of dogs. But that could be a metaphor and it may have just been training. Either way, definitely had to learn battle relevant skills and were given brutal training. But that’s still not all! From what we can gather from Yuzuru’s internal musings (although he is a somewhat unreliable narrator like 50% of the time tbh), he was sent to the military facility to learn better discipline so he’d stop acting up and play the role of a butler properly. This, combined with the crying when he messed up, gives two plausible reasons for him being sent. 1. he was considered too incompetent and the military was supposed to train him to be more competent as a butler, or 2. he was acting out big style and they wanted to quite literally beat him into submission so he’d treat his role more seriously. There is a scarier third possibility here, but that’s coming hehe don’t worry (: 

What happened when Yuzuru got to the military? Because so far yeah this is a wild situation but it doesn’t highlight Yuzuru’s utter insanity quite as well as I advertised. Ohohoho, don’t worry. Yuzuru was somehow so naturally gifted at being in the fucking military (whilst not being naturally gifted at being a butler, I remind you all!!) that he rose up to leadership and became an instructor IMMEDIATELY. He was in charge of Ibara, and assumably other people too, despite being the same age as him (and quite probably younger than others). Is it possible he rose through the ranks because of his status? No not really. He’s a butler to the Himemiyas, not an actual family member!! And he’s essentially been cast out by them, so why would they care?? It’s also implied and makes all Yuzuru lore add up if he was just… incredibly and terrifyingly talented with weaponry, fighting, tactics, etc etc don’t ask me what military things are important i don’t know. So I’m choosing to believe that the lore all checks out and that Yuzuru was made an instructor because he was freakishly good. Now about his role as an instructor!! 

Most of our info does come from Ibara which is… likely to be negatively biased, but we also have actual flashback scenes which legitimately support Ibara’s perception. Which was, in short, that Yuzuru’s training was spartan. He was harsh and ruthless and ruled with an iron fist… but he also genuinely cared about his pupils (and again, we infer that he had multiple bc he calls Ibara his favourite pupil. Although funny if he’s his fave by default lmao). The military is also the first time Yuzuru gets the chance to be a kid, which is ironic given he is AN INSTRUCTOR IN THE MILITARY. But he gets the chance to sit and talk with Ibara in between training and attempting to murder each other (which is like the closest thing to playing tag that Yuzuru has ever participated in, I reckon). I could write a separate essay about how important Ibara and Yuzuru are to each other, but that’s for another day (pls pls pls ask me to write it pls i just need the excuse). 

We find out some interesting things from Yuzuru’s conversations with Ibara. He hopes to die on the battlefield to show his parents (haha remember that scary third option…. what if this was their plan HAHAHAH). He wants to die out of spite, and he wants to die for the freedom. He hopes he never has to return and be a butler again. He feels free at the military camp, which is ironic given the intent was to trap him there to teach him a lesson. It’s also ironic, given both Ibara and Yuzuru refer to the training camp as an awful, horrible place. 

That definitely isn’t the end of me talking about Yuzuru and military experience, but it is the end of it in this linear fashion I’m taking to explain why Yuzuru is so fucked up and weird and insane.

So, he returns from the military! Read: he is forcibly taken back to the Himemiya mansion. And when he returns, Tori cries and hugs him and begs him to never leave again because he was so lonely without Yuzuru and scared etc etc. And we know that Yuzuru looked at him crying and decided that actually, this was something worth treasuring and putting his life towards. Tori was worth serving- he cared about Tori and wanted to protect him, and he had the abilities now (and probably always) to do exactly that. Was this inspired by Ibara saying he just wanted something to treasure and dedicate his life towards keeping/obtaining? Yep!!! Same story!!! Yuzuru took Ibara’s goal and went ‘snatched, mine now’ but fr… they had such an impact on each other. So, Yuzuru is ‘happily’ being a butler now. In other words, he’s taking his fate and making it his decision, as much as he can (or probably to convince himself hmmm). But where’s the insanity here, before we reach idol time? Well, here we discover that Yuzuru contemplates murdering Tori multiple times!! As a means of escape? As a reflexive urge to kill that he’s developed/been suppressing all along? Who knows! I still can’t quite believe that this is even canon but yeah!!! It’s not always a joke when Yuzuru says scary things to Tori and threatens him with weapons! He has legitimately contemplated murdering him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuzuru Fucking Fushimi, folks!!!!!!!!

This section is also where I’d like to discuss Yuzuru’s fear of dogs, because he also had to acquaint himself with King (Tori’s dog) during these years. Do you know the reason why Yuzuru’s afraid of dogs? I hear you ask, because I am inside your walls rn. Was there an incident? At the Himemiya’s? At the military camp? No!!! Tori says he’s literally always been afraid of dogs, and Yuzuru confirms this and gives us an explanation as to why! He says that dogs are inherently ferocious hunters- killers at heart- and yet they wear an innocent, harmless mask of being ‘man’s best friend’, covering up the human lives they have taken and are easily capable of taking at the smallest provocation. He fears dogs because he fears their true nature that they’re hiding behind their perceived harmlessness. They’ve masked their bloodlust with domestic obedience- a facade many dogs have tricked themselves into understanding as reality. When I thought about Yuzuru’s explanation for about five minutes before I started this essay, it suddenly slid into place in a way I’d never studied Yuzuru’s fear of dogs before.

Yuzuru fears himself. This checks out with the dog metaphors he makes of himself, of Ibara, that Ibara makes about Yuzuru and of himself. Obedient lapdog, untrained mutt, guard dog etc. etc. The parallels were right there. Yuzuru is an obedient lapdog for Tori… but he’s a predator by nature. A born killing machine whom everyone trusts without hesitation because of the loyal and obedient facade he parades, convincing even himself is reality. Yuzuru is afraid of the hunter he is and when his true nature might escape. I don’t read it as a ‘being afraid of when others will find out that he’s secretly evil’ sort of situation. More a ‘being afraid of when he won’t be able to stop himself & the mask will disintegrate forever and reveal the hunter within. Being afraid of when he might attack’. Ouch. Yuzuru can I give you therapy pls I’m begging. ANYWAY Tori then gets into idols and Yuzuru is dragged along to fine shows, and when Eichi sees him in the audience (ignoring the fact that his first thought is ‘damn that bitch fine as fuck, i love a guy with blue hair purple eyes and a ponytail, smash’), he says Yuzuru looks wild and rugged (i’m going off memory I cba getting Daydream up just trust xoxo), which is interesting given he’s trying his best to be a loyal butler right now. He’s not quite mastered the mask at this point, I suspect. Other things we know from this era are that Yuzuru helped sneak Tori out to go to karaoke as idol practice. I wonder how he felt getting to sing and dance for the first time.

Fun fact in case you hadn’t noticed by now- I’m not very good at staying on topic bc I loooove to go on random tangents of character analysis. I swear this is still about how Yuzuru is the weirdest enstars character… somehow….

So! We’ve finally reached canon timeline in the chronological part of this essay (HOW LONG IS THIS THING GONNA BE?? I hear you worry because, once again, i am in your walls). Yuzuru joins fine yayyy and he’s a transfer student to Yumenosaki given he’s just following Tori. So… did he even go to school before??? Given he has to follow Tori??? Did he take a year out? I’’m so curious as to Yuzuru’s history because how tf did his childhood work? He passes the fine test easily bc turns out he’s also very naturally talented as an idol. He’s very physically fit so it’s unsurprising. What’s sooo fun to know about his joining fine, though, is that he immediately knows exactly what Eichi is like, immediately gets links with the StuCo and joins Keito’s club to get In There with the top people (networking innit and also… club with bow and arrows. Tsukasa confirms he’s freakishly good wow who would’ve guessed Yuzuru would be so naturally talented with a weapon), and apparently immediately developed an escape plan for him and Tori so that if Eichi ever tried to destroy them, he could take Tori and dip. I wonder if that escape plan is still in place, now! Anyway, we also learn in this era that Yuzuru starts to love being an idol and finds he’s genuinely enjoying it. However, the reasons he’s enjoying it are… not exactly normal. He loves being an idol because he’s surprised that it’s able to spur the human emotions of anger and frustration within him (basically, he’s surprised that being an idol brought out his painstakingly buried emotions). We also learn that he’s extremely envious that Tori and Eichi were able to escape their fates laid out by their parents to pursue being idols, but he immediately tries to suppress thoughts like this. The difference between having money and not, huh? Tori and Eichi could escape. Yuzuru was always going to be trapped :( Yuzuru also starts to experience having friends for the first time (does Ibara count as a friend?? It was way wilder and more insane than that) so essentially Yuzuru’s first ever experience of normal teenager things is when he is 16/17. But at least he gets to have a pillow fight and absolutely destroy everyone! And get yelled at by a teacher!! Proud of him for having fun. 

This era is also where we get Yuzuru completely lying to himself, us, and his peers. Everyone is quite conscious of getting Yuzuru to enjoy his life outside of being Tori’s butler, and he’s very much manipulated everyone (including the audience even though we can compile the evidence to discover otherwise) into believing that he’s always been such a loyal and simple butler with no thoughts of his own aside from those that are wishes to serve his master. We know this isn’t true… and yet Yuzuru tries to convince us and everyone in the story that this is reality, to the point that we get people being proud of Yuzuru for coming so far. We get Tori being proud of him! And feeling guilty for him always sacrificing his life for him. Ugh I love Tori actually. The second I started reading stories about Tori and Yuzuru it hit how much guilt Tori has over Yuzuru’s fate and AGHHHH oops I got sidetracked again. Anyway. Yuzuru’s an unreliable narrator and that’s important to his weirdness, because he hides his true utter insanity from even us as the audience!! He lies to himself, to us, to his peers, everyone!!! You cannot fool me, Yuzuru Fushimi. I see through you. I’ve figured out your utter unhingedness. The complete juxtaposition between the very ordinary bland background character you depict yourself as versus the utter fucking WEIRDO that you actually are <3

Moving onto !! era, Yuzuru introduces himself in the main story by being INSANE and everyone seems to forget about it? The first thing he does is discuss how beneficial it is to show up first to important events and prepare the drinks because you gain the upper hand of knowing you could’ve poisoned them and everyone knows you could have, but that he’d never do that because everyone would indeed know it was him. And that’s one of the joys of being a butler! HELLO??? YUZURU WTF BABE????? But that’s always just glanced over. Also there’s the whole insanity of Eichi reminding us that Ibara is the only person whom Yuzuru shows this other side of himself around, and by that we mean the side where he… openly threatens extreme physical violence. Also frontline watchdogs happens. And we learn that Yuzuru still very obviously cares about Ibara gahhh. Anyway, back to insanity time, Wataei are kinda mean to Yuzuru in this era, because they do end up toying with him quite a bit, and we get a lot of Yuzuru dealing with thoughts regarding the Himemiyas and the impact of ES and stuff, because he can’t even just be an idol, he’s also essentially in charge of Tori’s responsibilities until Tori is ready, AND he’s becoming an actor because wow how surprising he’s really good at fighting roles and getting into character (sarcasm, bc… it is not surprising. hey who wants to hear me scream into a forest about wataru and yuzuru and facades it’ll be super fun I promise). Other insane stuff includes the time Yuzuru thinks Ibara is holding Tori hostage so he walks into a room and straight up STRANGLES IBARA because he knows how Ibara responds to being tortured for info so knows he’ll get the truth here. He also proceeds to reveal he’s learnt vocal mimicry from Wataru and will fuck shit up if Ibara tries anything using that trick (how did he learn that???? Plus Wataru is cagey about teaching new skills so it is either an omg yay wataru and yuzuru getting close moment or a…. yuzuru did you just analyse his ability and somehow replicate it??). Also in this era, we learn that Yuzuru accompanies Eichi with a lot of business related things, because of course he gets to be involved in the big ES happenings, and that he’s become wayyy more petty and rude to Eichi. It’s a big step for Yuzuru, who’s been forced to be so polite to his superiors. Like can you believe it. The Himemiyas’ butler being rude and passive aggressive and turning down THE Eichi Tenshouin?? He’s wild for that, but he knows Eichi well enough to know he’s safe because Eichi loves it. Yuzuru is so good at reading people. Oh yeah the other !! era moment I was going to mention was the time he took both Adonis and Hiiro in a fight. Canonically strong guys with training in martial arts/defensive techniques. And he legit scared Hiiro with how suddenly his demeanour changed from passive butler to ‘don’t hold back on me >:)’ oooo I love the utter thrill he always gets when he can go all out and attack people!! He’s so fucked up!!

And now on the theme of that, we have !!! era, because pretty much all he’s done since this new era began is fight people. In his cross scout with Kaoru, he gets disappointed in himself when Nagisa outruns him. It’s interesting to note that despite the lack of practice of his abilities Yuzuru gets outside of situations often purposefully set up so he can fight (usually by Eichi and/or Wataru like the incident in Fist of Idol Togenkyo), he still assumes himself to be… the best at any sort of combat out of everyone in his current environment. Do you know what I would give to see Yuzuru and Kuro fight??? I would LOVE to witness it, but I know neither of them would be willing to go all out on each other :(. So when Nagisa ends up out-running/outmanoeuvring him, he’s peeved. Like it’s not a surprise given Nagisa is genetically created to be The Best at Everything, but damn, how highly does Yuzuru think of his own combat abilities? It never really hit me until this point. Not only is he trained at combat, but he very much thinks/knows he’s good at it, and essentially takes pride in that fact? He’s such an interesting critter. Then we have the shuffle unit, too, where Yuzuru gets to go all out and apprehend a thief and he VISIBLY has fun doing it, as well as internally discussing as much. But we also have textual proof from someone else (a random director) that Yuzuru’s ‘snap’ is a thing. He can switch between this polite, passive butler and a bloodthirsty beast in SECONDS, and the joy he feels from being a vicious hunter is probably palpable. Other people can see him essentially change mask at the flip of a switch and become someone else entirely, and it’s wild. The fact Niki is the other person who does this is also beautiful because Niki in hunger mode is also a terrifying bloodthirsty beast. Can’t believe he won most normal, even with CrazyB being CrazyB.

I’ve finally covered somewhat of a chronological series of events for Yuzuru’s character that have led to the juicy stuff of why I view him as the straight up weirdest and least normal character. Whilst that was a lot of character analysis to do with who he is at his core, as well as his background and where he’s at mentally and in terms of progression in the story, now is for a beautiful collection of utterly unhinged things he’s said/done that make me go ‘what the FUCK Yuzuru’. Which, admittedly, I do a LOT. 

he MCs for the new year live featuring Trickstar and Akatsuki and decides to fuck around with Keito because he looks too serious. He then gets drunk on the joy of fucking with Keito and just keeps screwing with the scoring system and everything whilst Keito is seething with the betrayal

he used to genuinely think his drawings were lovely, but then according to others they looked like ‘horrifying yokai thirsting for blood’, ‘vegetables committing cannibalism’ or just ‘makes [them] anxious looking at it’ so wtf is actually wrong with his perception???

has said he feels the urge to kill Tori sometimes, but ‘a true gentleman suppresses his anger’…. JUST SIT WITH THAT ONE FOR A WHILE

He’s said he wants to dissect Wataru… medically… bc of his stamina levels

He’s also threatened to take Wataru to a secluded area and cut off each of his fingers with a bradawl. YUZURU??????

Nagisa is surprised at his dexterity when he very competently ties Jun to a pillar

He cleans ES and Yumenosaki in secret because he doesn’t trust other people to do it right. Not the most insane thing ever but it adds to his issues. Also cleaning is his favourite thing to do. Cleaning. This man has a body count and I mean in the murder sense

He loves to draw even though he’s shit at it. It’s just really funny to me that he’s very dexterous and talented at pretty much everything except the one hobby he wants to have

He can pilot a helicopter- only he and Madara are known to be capable of this

He’s the best at archery and at using firearms in Yumenosaki. And most likely ES. But he’s careful not to show off his talent and ‘true nature’ because he’s an idol and doesn’t want to scare people off

He has abs. Multiple characters have commented on this. Koga has felt them up

When he gets lost in thought he tightens his grip ridiculously tight. Figured this out due to him subconsciously tightening his grip on both Ibara’s neck during SS and Tori’s clothes during Resort Live

He speaks overly politely, but with the exact same dialect as Ibara which- i’m gonna lose my linguist status for the way I’m about to butcher this- from what I can gather is easy to interpret in a rude and sharp/passive aggressive tone. I’m going off characters who say Ibara and Yuzuru speak exactly the same, and the way Rei and Eichi highlight how Yuzuru says polite words but they’re very rude and barbed despite the politeness

His dancing is sharp and impeccable and his physical abilities are apparently ridiculously impressive, far above what would ever be expected of a butler (who’s surprised?)

His administrative abilities are incredible because he’s just overall a freakish genius apparently

He can completely hide his presence. He managed to scare Nagisa during the recent Halloween event and Nagisa is a very literal freak of nature who has been lab made to be a perfect specimen with like every skill ever soooooo terrifyingly impressive imo

Now, to conclude this insanity is my main point as to why Yuzuru takes the cake as the most insane enstars character to me. And whilst yes it’s obvious from all of this that he’s absolutely batshit insane, so are many other characters, but the reason my vote goes to Yuzuru over anyone else is because of the disparity between his public perception vs. who he is. And I mean both in game and out of game. I asked my lovely partner whose biggest flaw is not giving a flying fuck about my beloved Yuzuru Fushimi no matter how many times I yell about him what their opinion was of Yuzuru prior to knowing my insanity about him. I’d like to highlight that my partner is a big fan of Ibara, so knew about Yuzuru’s backstory at least, but was otherwise oblivious to most fine lore outside the main story, being a CrazyBP. My girlfriend said that, to them, Yuzuru was just a mild mannered butler who doesn’t come across as a big personality, especially next to the rest of fine. She said he’s very overshadowed when you have 2 characters very in-your-face personality wise and Eichi Fucking Tenshouin in your unit. Further thoughts were that whilst some characters you can soak up information of via osmosis, Yuzuru isn’t one of them.

And this was INSANE to me. Because how is it possible to be an Ibara fan and a NikiP who loves Niki’s kitchen and somehow no Yuzuru lore has seeped into your awareness???? And this is what makes me go oh yeah. Yuzuru is the least normal character from a character perspective as well as within the narrative. How do you write a character THIS INSANE with this many unhinged things being said and done in pretty much any story he shows up in, but the fandom who don’t pay attention to him just,,, completely miss it all and view him EXACTLY AS HE TRIES TO PRESENT HIMSELF TO OTHER CHARACTERS: as a mild-mannered, overly polite butler who loves servitude?? Yuzuru Fushimi has not only bewitched the characters into believing his facade, but he’s thoroughly hoodwinked the general audience of ensemble stars too. No one believes Wataru to be normal and casual, and arguably he’s the most normal of fine (at least in terms of upbringing, consistency, motivations etc….. but also he is literally me and i’ve been told I’m devastatingly Not Normal, so maybe that doesn’t count). No one would claim to call Kanata normal. No one thinks HiMERU or Mayoi or Shu & Mika, or the twins are normal. Everyone knows, at least in part, how insane they are, whether they produce the unit and know the lore or not. But Yuzuru!!!! He has fooled you all!!!! He has fooled everyone, and that’s exactly what he wants to do but exactly what he is terrified of doing, too. He fears the utter insanity inside him, but he’s also desperate for any chance he can find to unleash it and, for lack of a better phrase, go beast mode.

Yuzuru Fushimi, folks. He is one hell of a character and I hope you’ve enjoyed my ridiculously long essay on exactly why he is the craziest son of a bitch in ensemble stars. At least to me <3

And now for an incomplete list of references because I legit forget where half my knowledge comes from, I just read it once and forever absorb it into my brain:

! Era:

RESORT LIVE!!! lots of Yuzuru insight

Noble game. A lot of Yuzuru, specifically within his Butler context

GANG!!!! This is the backstory & ibayuzu lore story and it kills me every time

Flower Fes. Not huge on Yuzuru lore but gives an insight into his beginnings at Yumenosaki

Toyland. Yuzuru’s drawings and feelings about being an idol come up here. As well as Tori’s guilt about Yuzuru

School Trip. Aka Yuzuru unreliable narrator the novel

!! Era:

FRONTLINE WATCHDOGS!!!! It’s the Ibayuzu lore of !! era. !!’s answer to Gang

SS finals. It’s really long so specifically the chapters with Ibara and Yuzuru are where the lore is

Fist of Idol Togenkyo. I didn’t mention it much here but it covers Yuzuru’s acting and fighting quite well

Tempest & Primavera are the fine stories that discuss Yuzuru’s current role in ES and Tori’s life best but I didn’t reference them loads

Fair Waltz. It’s a short scout story but it’s so good for Yuzuru & Eichi dynamic & Yuzuru fighting

Grand Slam. There’s like one chapter during the sports festival about Yuzuru and guns lol

Yuzuru idol story episode 3. Ibayuzu reflect on their past & I cry

Seasoning as you like (Niki idol story). Niki’s kitchen revealing some of Yuzuru’s violent tendencies

!!! Era

Intelligence. Cross scout with Kaoru where the Nagisa incident happens

Ballade of the Lost Ones. Shuffle Unit!!!! Yuzuru goes wild!!!

[backatitagainatichirakus]

Tobiizu fake relationship au in which they never actually agreed to start a fake relationship,

Izuna approached Tobirama and offered to let bygones be bygones aiming to get him to lower his guard and dispose of him/humiliate him/steal Senju secrets (or whatever he's bored) and Tobirama Knows it.

Tobirama: Izuna's goal every time we interact is to kill me. This is no different. But I can't reject him without jeopardizing our relationship with the Uchiha.

So they become "friends" and, after the second get together that Tobirama insisted took place on a VERY public location, Izuna realizes Tobirama is onto him. But he won't come clean, because that'll mean he'd lose, and he'd very much rather chew on his own eyeballs than concede a victory to Tobirama, so he goes full on Fake Bitch and tries to trick him into actually liking him.

Tobirama tries to avoid him afterwards because suddenly Izuna became more insufferable than usual but Hashirama is like noooo, you were making friends! Don't ghost your friend! Tobirama he might start thinking you hate him!

Tobirama does hate him, Anija.

Madara thinks Izuna is in love with Tobirama because he suddenly got VERY intense about him, more than usual, and he's like no you can do so much better please. He goes to Hashirama and Hashi is fucking thrilled because they could unite their families, a marriage to settle our alliance. Let me ask Tobirama what he thinks about it.

And Tobirama thinks is a great fucking idea actually. There's no way Izuna will keep this up if there's marriage on the horizon.

He's wrong. Izuna DOES keep it up, and after he sees Tobirama's little smug smile thinking he played him, he gets so angry he starts laughing like a maniac. Sharingan activated and all. Once his deranged laugher dies down he smiles "oh I'm so happy, I'm the happiest man alive!"

Now they're engaged and both fucking panicking.

The thing is, Tobirama is a controlling little freak, so even if he DOESN'T want to do this, he takes control over wedding planning and becomes insufferable in turn, tracking Izuna down to berate him because he needs to do his part as well! This is a very sensitive political affair and it cannot go wrong and Izuna I'm a sensor I know you're inside that well, come out you're gonna dirty the water.

Izuna starts to believe he was successful in his plan and now Tobirama thinks Izuna is in love with him for real and that's the worst thing ever.

Tobirama starts to believe Izuna actually meant the initial friendship overtures but after Tobirama's constant avoidance he accepted the wedding to punish him and this might be Tobirama's fault actually.

They tell nobody about what's going on.

On the wedding day Izuna breaks and hisses "I poisoned the wine!" Which is a lie, and Tobirama knows it, and he slumps in relief because that means Izuna does not want to do this. Alas, Tobirama planned this wedding for weeks with little to no sleep and invited a lot of very important people. He's NOT letting Izuna ruin all his hard work, so he drinks anyway and says "no you didn't" Izuna's eye twitch and drinks as well and now they're married.

Tobirama invents divorce a week later but they still keep on being roommates because it'd be humiliating if the other got the house in the divorce. They keep playing the friend chicken game for years to come, and build a life around the other. Izuna because eventually he starts to like Tobirama and decided to be merciful and never tell him about how this started so he could... He doesn't even remember what, kill him? Expose his fake ass? Unimportant (he still thinks Tobirama thinks Izuna meant to become friends at the beginning). Tobirama is like, I'm doing the world a favor by keeping him contained and also after so long Izuna's presence doesn't feel intrusive anymore and it's somewhat enjoyable (he likes him as well but he's never had a friend before)

Since Tobirama has no clue how normal friendships work, he follows Izuna's lead. Thing is, Izuna's naturally inclined to match anybody's freak so they actually end up following Tobirama's lead on it. And it gets. Weird.

Tobirama: hey if in tomorrow's mission you come across some enemies can you bring me a couple alive. I have a new idea I want to try

Izuna: no problem. Any specifics?

Tobirama: an earth affinity would be optimal. But if not, anything is fine.

Izuna: you got it.

Hashirama, Mito & Madara, who were having dinner with them:...

Izuna: hey when I die bring me back so I can kill whoever killed me.

Tobirama: if

Izuna: what

Tobirama: If you die. I'm about to reach a breakthrough on immortalily. You'll die when I let you.

Izuna is very touched.

Nobody even knows they're divorced.

[lemotmo]

Wow. Just wow, anon.

Q. You're the worst kind of pathetic bitch because you're a bitch who supposedly knows how to read and interpret the media. You supposedly know how to market and sell bullshit but you can't even make your own bullshit sound believable. You're trying so desperately to portray Tommy as a plot device when that's clearly not what the show is going for. Seems as though you're actually the one who doesn't know the meaning of the term. You're just jealous because we can see the bigger picture here and you and the little trolls like you are desperately trying to cling to a fanfiction Oliver and Ryan have sold you all. I cannot wait to rub their first I Love You in your retched little face.

A. So I've held onto a couple of asks here and there just waiting for the break-up occasion. Fa la la la bitches it's the breakup occasion. First of all I don't understand why you all are so obsessed with my degree. My degree is irrelevant. What I do for a living is irrelevant. Higher education is not necessary to follow elementary level story telling. And Tommy was the definition of an elementary level plot device. Allow me to explain, anon.

For the sake of this answer I will not be referencing past Tommy because that part of him, right or wrong, was, in the end, irrelevant as far as the show was concerned. Minus the nonsense of making him Abby's ex. I get it it's funny but it's not as clever as the show thinks it is. We first met Tommy during the air rescue when he was flying the helicopter for Buck, Eddie and Chimney. This would be the beginning of what every Tommy scene thereafter would in one way or another be about. Buck and Eddie. Let the plot device begin. The next time we hear about Tommy it's because he and Eddie are hanging out and Buck is jealous. But why is Buck jealous? Who is Buck jealous of? Let's examine that shall we. We see Eddie talking to Buck about hanging out with Tommy. We see Buck complaining to Maddie about Eddie hanging out with Tommy. Flying to Vegas to watch MMA fights, talking about classic cars, all hobbies invented for Eddie by the way just so they could give Tommy the same kind of interests, and about how 'cool' Christopher thinks he is. No mention of Buck himself wanting to hang out with Tommy. Nope. Buck is entirely focused on the Eddie of it all. We find out that Buck doesn't like basketball and we find out that Eddie has asked him to come to the bball pick up game with him number times. Once Buck finds out that Tommy is going he decides he wants to join as well. But not for the reason you all believe. Cut to the fire station and Eddie talking animatedly on the phone to someone, you will note that we are never told who he is actually talking too. I will also point out that this episode is entirely from Buck's POV, something the show made sure the audience was aware of. So the shine that radiates from Eddie throughout the episode is how Buck sees Eddie, not how Eddie is necessarily really behaving. Buck had a basketball delivered to the station, something that Tommy would never be aware of, but something Buck desperately wanted Eddie to be aware of. No part of anything that has occurred so far has anything at all to do with Tommy as far as Buck is concerned. Let's cut to the bball game, and Eddie once again basically being human sunshine, because again, that's how Buck sees him. Buck watches Eddie and Tommy laugh, high five and generally just enjoy goofing off, a role that Buck usually occupies in Eddie's life. He gets jealous, and Eddie gets hurt. Fast forward to Buck's loft and Tommy's speech about not wanting to come between them, a scene by the way where Eddie's name is mentioned, I believe, something like 13 times, someone feel free to correct that math. Tommy himself is surprised by Buck saying he was trying to get Tommy's attention because it was obvious to everyone, except Buck, what he was actually jealous about. Tommy kissing Buck was the definition of a red herring, anon. The entire episode was about Buck trying to get Eddie's attention. Buck just couldn't properly understand everything he was feeling, or maybe starting to become aware of, so he allowed himself to misplace those feelings and believe maybe they were about Tommy. They weren't. And the show wasn't subtle about it.

Now the first date. Buck was nervous, understandably so. He had never been on a date with a man before and in typical Buck fashion word vomited himself into an awkward situation. He became even more awkward once he knew Eddie was there. Making matters worse instead of being understanding of Buck's nerves, especially considering he had been there once himself, Tommy made a closet joke in front of Eddie, knowing that Buck wasn't ready to tell Eddie anything. He then called himself an Uber and left Buck standing alone on a curb. So for your score card at home Eddie was there for the first meeting, he was the center of the focus for their first kiss conversation, and now he was a major presence on their first date. So he's 3 for 3 in other words, anon.

Bachelor party. Buck was excited and went overboard but the show made a point of showing the audience that Eddie matched his energy throughout the episode. He played dress up with him, even going so far as to suggest their costumes. The show also made a point of having Tommy make a brief appearance, noticeably with no effort into his wardrobe choice, before quickly sending him to a fire so Buck and Eddie could party all night together. Buck and Eddie were the entire point of the bachelor party. Tommy was just there to juxtapose Eddie with Buck vs Tommy with Buck.

2nd kiss at the hospital. They needed a nice moment. Made sure to show Eddie's reaction to it.

The season finale. Buck spent the entire episode wrapped up in Eddie's storyline, a space he occupied from 7x5 on mind you, and then had one cringe as hell dinner date where his bf made a daddy sex kink joke.

An entire off season of nonsense Cameo videos, that you all paid for. Unending online abuse and hurling slurs at anyone and everyone who was perplexed as to what the hell any of you were talking about because we hadn't seen anything you all were ranting and raving about actually happen on screen. Month after month of bullying and threats. Watching as Oliver, Ryan and crew members were mercilessly attacked for not promoting and fawning over Lou and your nothing of a ship. Watching you all desperately try to convince people you were so many more people than you were. One desperate play for attention after another. Ryan getting death threats. Threatening jurnos jobs. You name it you all did it and then had the nerve to scream victim when people fought back. Meanwhile your god sat back and watched you all do these things and instead of intervening, he decided to charge you more for the rhetoric. His behavior was the definition of unprofessional and gross. Your behavior was just as grotesque. No one owes you an apology.

Season 8 premier. One scene with Buck and Eddie. The scene absolutely could have gone on without him, he was just there. He served no purpose except to look like he didn't belong. Because he didn't. That was the point.

Episode 5. Every single scene where the show had the opportunity to place Tommy in the position of partner they put Eddie there instead. The hospital. Tending to his face at the loft. Eddie Eddie Eddie. It was always Eddie.

Finally episode 6. The inevitable outcome. The plot device served his purpose. He opened the door for Buck to his bisexuality. And that was all he was ever intended to do because everything else about his scenes were about Buck and in one way or another Eddie. Tommy was never the point of reason for a single scene he was in. He was never the fucking point of anything. 7x4 and 8x6 were directed by the same guy for a reason. 7x4 was how Buck sees Eddie. Full of color and light and warmth. 8x6 was the juxtaposition of that episode with how Eddie sees himself. Dark and broken and unworthy. Buck and Eddie are the point. Ending the episode with the two of them on the couch, this time with Buck in the dark (his clothes )and Eddie in the light ( his shirt). Their storylines have been intertwined since 7x4 for a reason. Their storylines end at the same place. Together. The show could not have made it more obvious, and it didn't require a fucking degree to see. It's not our fault you chose to pretend you didn't see it. Your plot device is gone so go ahead and follow him out the door.

Thank you Nonny! As always... 🙏🙏🙏

No comments on this one. Just let Ali speak. She has been bottling up a lot of things over the last couple of months. This is her moment.

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