#being wanted isnt enough i need reciprocity

[shot-messenger]

ough

[fawnnpaws]

this isnt even like. sexy but i think so hard about art and being a sub and what it means to him emotionally……… i feel like a lot of it is rooted in a want for transactional love where he gives and his partner gives too, rather than him giving and getting nothing in return.. another big component is a need for a consistent role in his life so he can have a sense of self.. and then in terms of actually being in headspace (puppyspace included) a lot of it has to do with dumbification and being able to turn his brain off for a little bit .. so many thoughts in my mind And dont even get me started about what i think his relationship with his mother is like 😭🤦‍♂️

oohhhhh <//333 art viewing being submissive as a way to guarantee getting his needs met and to have a purpose….. he knows his actions will be reciprocated, even if his feelings aren’t…. he needs to be needed and wanted so bad he’s willing to enter purely transactional dom/sub relationships because at least in scenes he’s almost getting what he craves so badly. he drops after, almost every time, it’s like all of his feelings of being unlovable and inadequate swallow him whole the second his dom leaves. because they always leave. they get what they want from him and they go. he doesn’t know enough about being submissive to understand why he feels so broken after scenes or that he should have a dom that takes care of him after the “transaction” is over. then you come along and you do return his feelings and it feels like the whole world has opened up all of a sudden. he never considered he could have all of his needs met at once - that he could give and receive through submission and be loved outside of it. it makes sinking into his headspace so much easier, so much so that he’s able to just turn his brain off while you’re home together doing mundane things. the dumbification part of it is so sweet because he’s putting all of his trust in you to take care of him, allowing himself to stop thinking and just follow your lead. he knows you know what’s best for him and he’ll lay his pretty little head in your lap while he waits for you to tell him what to do. he loves to hear that you think he’s good - praise is the quickest way to sink him down into that soft warm place where his brain takes the backseat. dumb puppy that he is in this headspace, he’ll just follow you around and lean against you, cuddle up on you however he can, breathe in your perfume and natural scent, anything to stay close. you love him fiercely and give him what he needs freely - he’ll do anything for you in return.

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hiii poly I would love for u to know that your work is rly good no matter the fandom!

…buuuut I was wondering how RAST would react if they found out/thought (u decide) that Mrs gem had a crush on ijichi? Or maybe if her crush was reciprocated? Idk it only seems totally natural for them to bond over the sort of shared trauma of working for satosugu 😭

🤍

jsdhhdjs feel free to alter if it doesn’t fit into the au or something

omgggg yall are so mean to Ijichi oh gosh-

pre-'relationship' if they find out that you and ijichi are a thing they'll probably find it a little funny. It makes sense why you two like each other, you're both so similar. but once you three get-together and they still catch you making googly eyes at each other, they'll put a stop to it. It only takes one threat for Ijichi to stop looking at you forever. You can't blame him. It still hurts.

hello! kk so miss gem technically isn't a prisoner but it's gonna be very hard to get anywhere outside of the property. I feel like (especially in the beginning) sato and sugu try very hard to keep you in the house, but at the same time, they aren't forceful. there will be guards everywhere too so it will be hard to leave.

Eventually, you'll be allowed to leave but very very rarely AND with a chaperone. I feel like small requests are doable. By small, that includes 'jewelry, dinner requests, clothes'. But they do ask for favors in return. The gifts aren't free:)

most of the time miss gem will be at home but they do bring their darling on a field trip every so often. mostly when they want to show off.

again miss gem isnt a prisoner. inviting friends/ family over is on the table, but they will be firmly vetted. regarding education, suguru will 'gently discourage' it, but with enough pleading and begging to satoru, his support might be enough to turn the tables. you will still be heavily guarded/online school. It's because they're possessive and you're the darling of two organized crime dealers. Being in public in general with that type of title wont bode well. but if you do act up, those privileges will be revoked.

a very interesting theory !

They would definitely feel guilty, but they would handle it in different ways. I think Gojo will try to justify it. He'd constantly try to push the blame onto you and your personality and try to brush off your deteriorating state. But he's the one who will snap first. If it gets so bad, he will panic and try to force-feed his gem. Suguru is definitely more sympathetic. He'd keep repeating how you just need time, and eventually, you'll be happy.

He might even get the great idea that you need a distraction to get your mind out of it. Gojo was adamant about his refusal to have children, but Suguru knows for your sake, Satoru will change his stance.

[writers-wrongs]

Could you write yandere headcanons for Arkham Riddler x male reader? If you don't do Arkham then BTAS?

sure thing! so far ive only played arkham knight (didnt realize it was the last installment til i was halfway through the plot) so thatll be where im drawing from

yandere!arkham!riddler x male!reader

-now, eddie is 100% bi (fight me), so hes not surprised when hes into a guy

-he is, however, surprised that hes actually romantically interested in someone enough to keep an eye on him as he navigates gotham

-this man... is interesting? and intelligent? that cant be possible, everyone but edward is a dribbling moron!

-but here you are, solving a few of the riddles hes placed around the city. he cant let you take the trophies, theyre for batman, but now hes certainly paying attention

-a few months after he first notices you, youre just go about your day when you notice a neon green question mark down an alley. another one of those trophies! might as well solve the puzzle, even if you dont get to keep it

-you solve the puzzle and go to try and grab the trophy, not expecting anything but a slight shock, but youre instead knocked to the ground from the voltage

-you wake up in default gothamite mode: tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room. of course, it had to happen eventually. soon, the riddler himself comes in to speak with you

-"good, youre awake. if i had to beat myself in chess again, id go completely insane"

-and he... sits down. sets up a chessboard on the table in front of you, and unties your hands. you play, mostly out of fear, and while you dont win, you get pretty close

-he looks shocked and excited, with a dash of smugness

-"i knew you were the one. second smartest man in gotham- right after me, of course"

-he explains to you that hes not going to kill you, just keep you ("i cant let that mind of yours make direct contact with the idiocy of gotham! your IQ will lower just by being around them!") and that he'll keep that mind of yours sharp

-how does he do this? puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. hes a bit of a sadist, so the puzzles are mandatory if you want things like food. regardless of how you do, he'll keep you alive, but if you want anything more than the necessities, you better get good with puzzles

-he spends lots of time with you. he says its because youre the only interesting person in gotham, but its mostly because hes an incredibly lonely man. its hard being at the top, so he'll cling to anyone who can even get close to what he sees as his level

-he LOVES learning more about you. not that he didnt research you for months, but he could only gather so much information before kidnapping you. every conversation is like an interrogation

-in terms of affection, hes... interesting. if you earn your dinner, hes programming robots to serve as waiters and dusting off his green suit. i wouldnt call him a romantic, per se, but he certainly thinks of himself as such

-dont expect much in terms of physical affection, he takes a while to get to that point. hes the riddler, after all! hes above the need to cuddle! unless... if you need comfort, he supposes he can indulge you

-if you ever try to escape, he'll be furious. how dare you try and leave! how dare you assume hes dumb enough to not have planned for this! until you apologize, youre getting the bare necessities and no attention

-when you inevitably start to reciprocate, hes smug about it, but secretly ecstatic. he knows hes not the most charming guy around, but he managed to win over the second smartest guy in gotham. and isnt that all he really needs for companionship?

[aidlyncanon]

this is my first actual tumblr post since idk what to do but ive had this idea in my head for a while and I wanted to share 🤗

so heres what I think each sbg characters love languages are. I wanted to include both the love language they express towards other and the type that resonates? with them when expressed by others. i dont know how to word that but I hope itll make sense 🙏

if it's inaccurate im sorry im not great at wording but i did try and make it at least a bit accurate which is hard when im unsure to most of these

𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄/𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄?

— I feel like this may be the only one that properly fits Ashlyn. I could see her maybe also liking acts of service but i cant exactly explain why.

Maybe its because I think its also what she would do for others that I think it would fit. Like I said maybe acts of service like people doing little things to make her life easier.

I have a headcanon that Taylor or Ben has things in their bags for the others (total mom friends) so imagine her shock when she found out someone had ear plugs in their bag incase she needed them?

you get where im going with this?

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

— I take little to no criticism on this. I can't imagine Ashlyn's being anything else. If she tried getting a gift she'd probably take too long wondering if theyd actually use it. Physical touch is a meh, she doesnt hate it but it wouldnt be her favourite. She said herself she isnt the best with words.

Her gift to people is just her presence. She'd be the type to occasionally need quiet but wouldn't mind being in comfortable silence with someone she likes. I feel like quality time would be her way of showing she cares for someone.

𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: ???

— This is an idk because im basing these off of what we know about their background and character but we know like nothing so everything about this is based off of pure theory.

The only canon part i can mention is that during his conversation with Ashlyn at the school he mentioned how since he moved around a lot he never really had a true bond with anyone.

"You seemed like the type to only get close with people who mean something to you."

So Aiden didnt just want someone he could feel attached to, he also wanted to feel cared for. Its a two way street with him.

While I could see him loving physical touch as I doubt he got enough of that as a child and he clearly loves being touchy with people I feel like with what we know I could argue really any love language. He'd probably take anything if it makes him feel cared for.

I found a picture of a chart saying "your love language may show what you lacked as a child" and he checked every box so he's fucked.

I ultimately want to settle with physical touch as he seemed shocked when Ashlyn initiated the hug likely due to being the one to always initiate them. Like above he probably just wants his efforts reciprocated.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇

— Self explanatory we see him being touchy with Ashlyn. He also put his hand on Tyler (idk if this is still fast pass if it is my apologies).

"he did that as a stay away from my girl" stfu. 🤗

𝐁𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— I take ZERO criticism on this.

Were all aware how bad his bullying was so I doubt he heard anything nice about him.

The main thing that makes me believe this is that every time he gets complimented or something nice said about him he gets sort of flustered and blushes.

This ^ was ben after Ashlyn complimented his bandaging job. A small compliment I know but even after what taylor said about him opening up he blushed there too.

You can't deny it means a lot to him he probably thought about those for a while.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆

— I talked about this in a discord server briefly but I want to share it here. You know the quote "the quieter you are the more you hear"? Well thinking of that ive come up w the idea that Ben likely is more observant compared to most people.

Hed be the one to notice if someone was looking at something for a while in a store or hear it pass in conversation. Make a mental or physical note of it and get it for them.

I just imagine him being the type to be like "i know you like this" or "this reminded me of you". I feel like he wouldnt be the greatest at expressing it in many other ways so he resorts to getting people things.

Hes also pretty artsy so I can also just imagine him making people little things for them.

Like, tyler taught him guitar? gets tyler a new pick. Logan looking at something in the store? need to remember that. and so on

𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃𝐒

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— Similar to Ben's. I could maybe see quality time being important to him as he hasnt had many people want to stick around him.

I mean his parents didnt want him and barrons group are just assholes so spending time with someone who genuinely cares for him? Doing an activity he enjoys? Hes over the moon.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄

— I can see him wanting to help people, i mean he helped Noah (the guy who barron replaced him with). I can imagine him doing little things for the group and people he loves.

He might get a bit embarrassed if confronted about it but ultimately hed do it again.

𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐙

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑: 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄???

— This is up in the air but I feel like it fit her the best? I imagine after her dad dying at a young age she grew up knowing that time with people is limited and can end at any moment.

So i can imagine her really appreciating someone spending one-on-one of just personal time with her. But i can also just see her appreciating any type.

My thing is I can imagine her being happy with receiving anything as long as someone had her best interest at heart then she'd become the happiest girl ever.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

— Another give in, she does it ALL THE TIME. Its literally her defining feature. Shes very good with words and likes making others feel better about themselves. Seeing people perk up from her words would be enough to make her own day better.

I imagine she too, like tyler, had to be there for her mom a lot. So she probably learnt it from that experience. I also imagine her want to make people happier stemmed from seeing Tyler slowly lose interest in everything around him and wanting to be able to be the person who could make his day just a bit better.

Though like above I could see taylor doing things she knows mean the most of others. Like the moment she realized Ben likes words of affirmations she made sure to compliment him a bit more. After realizing Ashlyn likes quality time she would find a way to do that while also not overwhelming Ashlyn, say a movie or just going on a walk. Shed make an effort to make people happy based off of what they love the most.

𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐙

𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄

— Tyler spent his entire childhood taking care of people so imagine how he would react to being taken care of for once.

I figure like at first hed be a bit reluctant however I think ultimately it would mean a lot to him to not have to always be rhe one taking care of others but being able to rest for once.

Like idk how to word it but I think it fits him, I could also see MAYBE words of affirmation? since he did want that when Logan Ashlyn and Ben found him but then again I dont blame him he was literally sitting bleeding.

𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄?

— This one has a question mark since im not sure. Taking care of others has just became nature to him, its his factory settings. Its not something he like goes and does to get people interested its just natural to him.

I dont think its something he'd do specifically to express care, he'd likely be unaware how much it could mean to someone since its just life to him.

Im not too sure what his would actually be MAYBE quality time again similar to Taylors in the sense that he knows just how fast someone can lose their lives so he likely would appreciate someone wanting to actually spend time with him.

Even if he wouldnt admit it.

If these are inaccurate then I apologize I did try to make them as accurate as I could but wording my thoughts isnt something i'm great at.

Most of these im unsure of but I wanted to talk about anyway so idk gimme ur opinions on them id love to hear them esp since im unsure for half of these :)

[furiousgoldfish]

Damn i was not expecting the "#tw extreme abuse", thank you very much for your words though

I might be able to help the person who asked about healthy relationships though, ive made a lot of good relationships despite my family:

Communication

•above all else, communicate. Tell them about yourself. Learn about them. Get to know eachother! Likes, dislikes. Boundaries especially! Check in on them. Just a quick hi once in a while can do wonders (lots of relationships fail due to lack of communication or miscommunication)

•listen to eachother

Arguements

•if something happens you can always walk away, make sure the other person understands that they can as well. Take time to collect yourselves and explain later why your upset

•be clear and ask for clarification where you need it

•fights can be scary but dont think that someone will leave you after one

•try to steer clear of insults/threats/blackmail if your angry, thats hard to repair after

Trust

•i know its hard to trust and you can take all the time you need to learn how, but making healthy relationships is a good way to learn trust.

•Dont lie to them or you will get caught up in trying to keep it under wraps (unless its to protect your safety, in that case maybe being around this person is not a good idea), not only will they not trust you but you wont give yourself the opportunity to trust them

Kindness

•be nice. Its simple. Good people, the people that will make for great friends/support/family will be kind back! Go out and meet people! Youll make friends! Just give yourself a chance!

•treat other how you deserve to be treated, with all the love and kindess you should have gotten! They will pay it back, they will love you!

Other notes

•express interest in their interests. You dont have to be a big fan, people will want to show you what they like when they like you. They're sharing something special to them. So ask about it! You dont have to engage much with it, but show them their interests have value. It will make them really happy, and they should be open to yours as well.

•do fun shit together! Something you both enjoy! If there isnt anything that overlaps you can do your own stuff in eachothers company. Just hanging out with them is enough.

•being able to love someone else, is to love yourself. You're filled with so much compassion and care for this person, and they will feel the same. They will be their to love you when life hits the fan.

•again take your time, it can be hard to get right. If it doesn't work out thats an experience you can carry into the next relationship, something to learn from.

Caution:

-make sure they actually make you happy and treat you well, not that theyre just the first person you could latch onto

-make sure you both have personal freedoms, your loyalty to eachother should not come at that cost

-keep yourself safe, safety comes first

Finding good people is a very important one as well, if anyone needs i could try explaining that too. Hope this helps.

Hey thank you for sending this manual!

Yeah your situation is extreme, I'm thinking about you and hoping that you get to experience freedom.

Your manual sounds really nice and is filled with common sense, and I've been following these types of guidelines for most of my life, but still had absolutely no luck. The thing is, this would work if you're surrounded with kind, understanding, non-abusive, friendly people who also just wanted to be friends with you and reciprocate and earn your trust and keep you in your life.

However a lot of people will see your friendly, kind, compassionate and communicative nature and decide to make use of it. It's been the hardest thing for me to realize when the other person is just pretending to be friendly back, in order to exploit me. It's really difficult to take distance from someone when they make you feel guilty for it and attack you for it, and it's hard to not feel guilty and betrayed when it happens. Manipulative people make great use of trust and communication you give them! Treating them with love and kindness will often get you in a situation where love and kindness will be expected, or demanded out of you, while you find yourself unable to ask even for some patience and space for yourself. And I'm worried that this is the situation for most abused people, we're often trying so hard to be kind, communicative, trusting, interested, loyal, patient, giving, caring, compassionate, and they zero in on that and eat it up, taking some time to make us let our guard down, before they start banking on us being in their service.

I have been trying to find good people all of my life, and fell unsuccessful, and I've tried hundreds of people, created a system of red flags that make me drop them, and had to drop pretty much everyone. And it's not as if this manual is generally bad, or I've just sucked so much at communicating and building boundaries, it's just, really difficult after abuse to feel okay around people, and to not be bothered by some of their manipulative nature - it hurts us more than it hurts others.

So even as I'm really bad with people, I can't recommend being very kind, trusting or communicative, of course it's nice if you can be that and not get hurt for it, but I absolutely cannot. It never happened once in my life, that someone returned the same kindness, love and care I gave them, and it often broke my heart. I would have to be very naive to still believe that I just haven't done it for the right person - hundreds of people reacted similarly, took what they could, then either turned on me, hurt me and pretended it was okay and I should stop being sensitive, or abandoned me altogether if I ever stood up to them.

This all is not your fault, and I can completely understand how you sent in these instructions with best of intentions, sincerely believing that this is the key to healthy relationships. It seemed like that to me too, when I was younger! I fully believed this would work, kind people would see me and return the kindness, it would be okay. The only thing I can recommend is the stuff you have under caution - if someone fails to reciprocate, or reciprocates at first and then stops reciprocating, get distance. If your freedom around this person is limited, get away, get distance. If they start treating you worse at any point, get distance. It's not worth ending up in another abusive, neglected or scary situation just for the hope of human connection. And it's also really difficult for an abused person tell when they're being neglected, treated badly or their kindness is not reciprocated, just because we've already been used to so much worse, so anyone not outright threatening to kill us seems like a nice enough person who deserves our whole heart. They often do not.

[marmotish]

I know Talbott probably isnt a person who likes hugs a lot but he deserves one so maybe the 33 one(the hug from that one person who is allowed to hug you ) from the hug prompt? idk if u did that one already. Btw love your art <3

((thanks hon! ⭐️))

ok so Talbott and Freyja are both not-really-into-hugs and then I thought back to the Flying Solo SQ where Talbott tells MC about his parents - like if anyone needs a hug it’s the kid who confides in you about losing his parents and the impact it had on him, yeah? Ha…

“What are you doing?”

Freyja’s fingertips had barely brushed Talbott’s shoulder when she froze at the sudden sound of his voice. An answer to this question didn’t come straight away, instead an awkward silence began to weave its way around the two. The only sounds now were the night breeze through the tower, along with the hesitant shuffling of feet on the floor.

“Just …”

Just doing what people are supposed to do in this situation, right? Hug?

Talbott shook his head, eyes trained on the floor in front of his feet. “You don’t need to do that.”

Freyja hesitated, then withdrew her arm back to her side. It was a bit of a relief, if she was being honest. She wasn’t one for hugs, really. Even with her family she was always on the receiving end of hugs, reciprocating with far less intensity. And Talbott wasn’t one to play games using reverse psychology, so if he said she didn’t need to hug him, she really didn’t.

Distant laughter rang out from one of the Ravenclaw dormitories, helping to break the silence that permeated the atmosphere.

“I don’t know what to do then.” Freyja said quietly, almost to herself.

At this, Talbott huffed out a breath of air. It could almost have passed for laughter. “You don’t have to do anything, not if you don’t want to.”

A comfort, to be sure. Yet Freyja still felt like she’d missed an opportunity to show a little emotion in the face of what was evidently a vulnerable moment for her new friend.. “Sort of feels like I should do something though.”

Only a little over year ago, you couldn’t have paid the majority of her peers enough to sit next to her in class. Now she was a curse-breaker and a member of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, both of which completely overhauled her social life. Navigating all these new friendships had certainly required a lot of effort. She thought she was catching on to all the nuances of friendship pretty quickly, but apparently she’d misstepped in this particular interaction.

Talbott shuffled aside a little to put a bit of distance between the two of them, then turned to face her straight on. “I get that you’re probably trying to be nice by offering a hug, and if you were someone like Penny then I wouldn’t have said anything.”

Freyja frowned. Like Penny? Blonde? A Hufflepuff?

“Penny’s a hugger by nature.” Talbot explained. “Do I enjoy it? Not particularly, but I appreciate it. Because that’s honestly how she expresses herself. How she shows a friend she’s there for them. But you know, she never expects me to hug her.”

“Aye well, she’d be better off waiting for hell to freeze over if that wasn’t the case…”

Talbot snorted. “Well maybe not that unlikely, but it would be a pretty rare occasion.”

Freyja began to relax a little, the conversation seemingly moving away from her misguided attempt to hug him. She adjusted her sitting position to better appreciate the expanse of the night sky, dotted with countless stars, stretching out over the highlands.

“The thing is that she doesn’t want or expect me to act out a friendship that isn’t true to my own personality. Not wanting to hug my friend all the time doesn’t make me a bad friend, or a cold person. It’s just who I am.” Talbott continued. “And I don’t want or expect that of you either. If you genuinely want to offer a consolation hug, then go ahead. I won’t mind. But I’d be just as happy sitting and talking.”

Well this was embarrassing. Here Freyja was trying to comfort Talbott after sharing the story of how he lost his parents, and yet now he was reassuring her that not being physically affectionate was not a character defect. The corners of her mouth pulled up a little at this.

“I like the sitting and talking option.”

Talbott grinned. “me too.”

[jegulily-stuff]

Had a jegulily soulmate au rattling around in my head for a while.

I don't usually like the way soulmate aus remove character choice from relationships so to offset this: 1) not everyone has a soulmate and the world isnt structured around them, 2) soulmates are not necessarily romantic so you still need to work out for yourself how this person will fit into your life.

For the soulmate connection, a psychic bond: feeling each others emotions and with enough focus/practice full on telepathy.

So, Lily and Regulus are soulmates, and separately James and Sirius are soulmates.

Sirius and James immediately decide they must be platonic soulmates because theyre both boys. When they each start realising they aren't straight they doubt this, but ultimately conclude they were right, just for the wrong reason. Idk if I'd have Sirius hiding his emotions from James or using the bond to vent, but theyd definitely be obsessed with the telepathy as soon as they could do it.

Lily and Regulus is much more complicated. I tend to write Regulus as someone very committed to his family, especially seeing it as the centre of genuine love in his life, but this might be more flexible in a soulmate au if he knows he has a soulmate out there. I think he's also likely to assume its a platonic bond when he finds out who its with, partly because he assumes he's gay, partly because he cant marry a muggleborn but it might be acceptable to have someone of lower blood status around as a friend (like Lucius does with Snape). He'll probably be conflicted between seeing the bond as predestined and perfect, and wanting to close himself off from it to avoid his family being upset.

Lily might not like predestination - but on the other hand she loves fantastical magical stuff, so her feeling towards soulmates might be jumbled. Once theyve got through the initial barriers though she does really like Reg. It being 'platonic' eases her issues with predestination and choice, but she gets romantic feelings early and maybe theres some angst over that not being reciprocal. And theres always the long road of deprogramming as an interpersonal issue for her and Reg, she'd probably get tired with him at times, though the connection between them should speed it up for him.

James's inclusion is then not about the soulmate bond but wholly personal choice. He's been interested in Lily (seeing as both of their soulmates are supposedly platonic), Reg has been interested in him, eventually theyre all interested in each other. (Seeing how Reg's hatred for, jealousy of, and huge crush on James affect Lily who can feel it all would probably be funny.)

Its kinda focused on parsing out different kinds of love and what different bonds mean to different people.

[barbieb0y]

forged in a bonfire.

day 4 of scrunkly week already woah

the theme is autumn! i went with both sitting by a cosy fire + cold hands, warm drinks for the prompts! i dont celebrate halloween so i feel detached from prompts related to that haha

as usual, i wrote a scenario for my selfship, uppercut (my oc, paper cut x joe reverse 1999) BUT i did add mercuria reverse 1999 into the mix bc idk i just like the (potential) dynamic between her and joe, although idk her that well (the wiki doesnt have her info either so...) and this isnt explicitly romantic but there is so-called tension. so

Paper Cut has grown accustomed to the sound of foreign yet warm laughter. The flames that occupy the bonfire in front of him could only hope to rival such warmth. But the best thing about this kind of laughter is that sometimes, it would include his own. It’d make for a great journal entry and an even greater bandage.

“Leave it to J to get Dr. Cut of all people to leave his lil’ man cave.”

Another wave of laughter ensues, this time he joins in. He can’t deny the person’s claim - J’s siren call was the straw that broke the camel’s back. But he has no regrets; even with all the unfamiliar faces and voices, he feels like he’s finally home.

“Not that hard really. The dude just needed a little push.”

J  frequently shrugs off any mention of his effort to bring Paper Cut out of his shell easily. He’s a strong believer in the efforts Paper Cut himself made to get out there. It’s just a coincidence that the biker was there for him and his journey.

“A ‘little push’ is an understatement of the century.”

Mercuria’s comment prompts another round of unashamed laughter. At this point, Paper Cut has chosen to watch this little drama about him silently, metaphorical popcorn in hand. The next scene starts with J rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t need to visit him every single day but–”

“And the fact that you’d pretend to be hurt specifically on Thursdays.”

“Thursdays are unlucky days for me! It’s not even pretend sometimes!”

“Pfft, sometimes.”

The laughter never seems to die down. That observation can be attributed to the fact that J being the center of attention – but he almost always is the center of attention, just how he likes his social interactions to be. But the best part is that he doesn’t even have to try. Paper Cut supposes that’s just how it is when everyone in the neighborhood knows your name and your game. But in a way, Paper Cut himself also garnered such a reputation.

Paper Cut’s job is to heal paper cuts and beyond. Even if he doesn’t believe it, his fame has been the consequence of his own choices. Not charging patients cash for medical services was and will always be what makes him infamous. It’d be abnormal if it was simply free but the strange charging fee of a piece of paper for every session would’ve been enough for people to call him crazy.

You can call him a quack all you want but at the end of the day, he gets the job done – this is what Joe thinks of his work ethics. Joe was more concerned that he wasn’t taking care of his own health. After all, the doctor can’t heal if he himself is sick, right?

“We got some hot cocoa, folks! J, help me pass it around.”

One of the unfamiliar faces announces and with his best service smile (which is his usual, ‘I-love-my-friends’ smile), J gives out warm mugs full of comfort.

Paper Cut mumbles a thank you and manages a small smile for J, which is reciprocated almost immediately. Just as quickly, Mercuria has to stifle the voice of the person sitting beside her before they could make things awkward for the two. That moment was enough to make her feel like she’s thirdwheeling so there’s certainly no need to add fuel to that fire.

Everyone there knows that there’s some kind of tension between the two (or at least, almost everyone - one guy insists that they’re simply “very close friends”). They’d rather not assume but they’ve grown somewhat impatient waiting for their friendship to eventually transform into a romance. And they have to admit, the two men make good in-group gossip material.

As soon as J is done with his arduous task, he plops down next to Paper Cut with a mug of his own, which he extends towards his seatmate. Paper Cut chuckles and clinks his mug with J’s to humor him. It works, as J lets out a satisfied laugh. But J is pleasantly surprised when Paper Cut moves to imitate him but with his own other seatmate, Mercuria, instead. And she also humors him.

Before long, the air is filled with that warm, foreign laughter again as people clink their mugs affectionately. Paper Cut closes his eyes, submerging himself in an orchestra of delight.

On that night, eternal bonds were forged.

[fredheads]

thinking about how fp had to learn to fight at such a young age to protect himself from his father and him even as a child trying to protect his mama from getting hit and all he ever knew growing up in that house was violence and how you needed to reciprocate it to survive and of course that carried out into the rest of his life where he was always quick to get physical when someone even looked at him weird because in his mind everything is a threat and its kill or be killed so of course hes going to swing first and then how hes so protective of fred and archie and anyone close to him or even just someone who cant fight for themselves fp will insert himself and defend them because he just cant sit by and watch someone be bullied or abused it reminds him too much of his childhood and of course this gives him the reputation of being a troublemaker and violent and he hates that because when other people say it they make it sound like he's like his father but he isnt theyre not fighting for the same things but sometimes it does feel a little too close for comfort...

SCREAMING AND THROWING UP!!!! 🤮

And then you add into that how one of fps most reliable cover stories for senior beating on him so bad he couldn't hide it was "i got into a fight..." 🥺 and sometimes he'd add on details to make it more realistic and that was easy to do bc he was just drawing from the violence he grew up surrounded by and the violence he saw and lived with every day... and this contributed to his reputation as a delinquent and a troublemaker and a bad, violent kid that would be a bad influence on good kids like Fred.... People were always asking why would he hang out with some guy who always came to school banged up from fistfights he started 🥺 and people would just go wild with the rumours and the things they'd say about him and then he couldn't escape this reputation and yeah some of it was true cuz like you said he had a quick temper cuz that's what he grew up with... But most of it wasn't true but he could never escape it 😖 and it weighed so hard on his psyche and contributed to so much of his self loathing bc he hated the parts of him that were like his dad 🥺

And when you said he absolutely cannot sit by and let someone be bullied or abused!!!! 😭 That's literally canon he has to go smashing heads to protect teenagers he is so so so sensitive from his upbringing to people picking on others who are defenseless 🥺 AND HIM AS A LITTLE BOY TRYING TO PROTECT HIS MOM FROM BEING BEAT PLEASEEEEE GOD 😭 he literally just wants to protect people from violence but the only way he knows how is with more violence and this is why he and fred are drawn to each other cuz freds such a pacifist 🥺 but sometimes it isn't enough in the real world and fps inserting himself into the role of freds protector 😭

[expfcultragreen]

The main langley 711 closed but its whatever because they stopped making mojos and switched to shitty old wedges a few months back 😩

I actually sort of applaud whoever pulled the plug on forcing people to staff it, they were constantly being harassed by bitchy methheads

Which, no offense to methheads in general but, you know the problem people suck all the fun out of everything

That was a neighborhood 24 hour resource that kept getting shittier and is gone now, for brand integrity reasons i would guess

Like, it was rare there werent people camped out outside on the 711 lot or actively overdosing on the premises with firetrucks onsite, and most any night there were multiple active drug deals/a shooting gallery situation in the parking lot or by the dumpsters, plus whatever was happening inside with someone wanting/needing some kind of leeway and being stymied by capitalism etc

Its unclear why this sometimes happens to 711 other than, the people working there tend to be polite about it because theyre not highly regarded by the society that demands 711 either, and the people who go there habitually/camp out there, tend to focus on places that are open 24 hours because they cant go to dry shelters etc

So these businesses are often put in the position of operating in a capacity its not legal for them to operate in, (or else, making enemies in the local transient-and-wacky demographic thats attracted to certain locations for largely geographic reasons)....in order to pick up the slack left by these religiously affiliated anti-drug places that would rather people die than be housed while high

...on the topic of the transient-and-wacky demographic, if you want good advice about being cool with these people, you have to imagine that basically everyone theyve dealt with lately other than other homeless people, are essentially a faceless mass of judgemental calvinist douchbags who never cared about their wellbeing as fellow humans and demonstrably have evil/purely selfish values revolving around profit and a pyramid of enslavement and dont understand true humanism/fraternity/sorority/[any religion name here]/whatever, and every time you enforce some little procedure of whatever bureaucracy your workplace has, thats you assigning yourself evil

....which is exhausting on a long enough timeline even for people who get it, but also, are not social workers but ARE at work

But maybe we should all be taught social work skills instead of like, trig

Some of this stuff is easy for me because ive always been seeing evidence of a reciprocal balancing mechinism to linear reality (karma) ever since i started watching for it as a kid.....so im like, workplace protocol isnt as important as how i myself would want to be treated should i end up in their shoes...(never bought the myth that its personal failings that cause desperate circumstances, always saw how often people socially mob up and destroy the futures of people for petty reasons, could be anyone....cast out)

A big part of the problem is domestication; they dont know how to medicate their trauma other than drugs (for reasons; no money for therapy, no trust in therapy etc) BUT they paradoxically have largely-externally-cultivated resentment for everything about being anywhere they can get them (because theyre not remote diy producers, or colleagues of similar....maybe because they have 0 chill), ie the hostile aesthetics and ergonomics of public spaces and mainly, the people who functionally "fit" eg people who can get jobs and are earning money by flexing on them about where they can be, what theyre allowed to do

People who actively enjoy holding themselves above the people who've had the most damaging lives, entirely deserve their disdain.....but also, anyone who is even just avoidant in the wrong way reads as yet-another-one-of-Them....the authoritarians....the teachers, the stepdads, the nuns, the jocks, the librarians, the mallcops, the clerks, etc/whoever, the ones who've always been there to cast you out, poised to do it.....there are of course skids who actually dont have a problem with authority to a compulsive extent and are conventionally pleasant in demeanor, for the record....typically theyve been hurt first/worst by peers. Most skids are not having a good day when you meet them. (This is tongue-in-cheek understatement; my point is that people often hold visibly impoverished people to standards of decorum that only make imaginationland sense, to people who've never been unsheltered for long, never looked like "a vagrant" etc and might tend to take issue with the idea that its not some kind of choice, to just be "difficult" as a lifestyle....i guess for the thrill of risking being beaten to death by nazis for not being at work?)

And yeah at this point theres a counterculture of identification with being so defiant of a corrupt system in its dysfunction that its dysfunctional, like, it renders one unable to function.....imo/ime, thats trauma, when its creating loss of general functionality. We shouldnt be in such a rush to prove we're just as traumatized as anyone else or to valorize their/our own state of painful defiance, in spite of its paradigmatic righteousness, rationality, etc; the issue here is, we're in the unenlightenment when it comes to healing that pain. Some people say the best way forward is violent radical action, blabla, total rev eternal war yaddayadda....i dont think that leads us out of trauma, kids. I think we have to be like, ummm... corny about all this

Could we all just try voting progressive/lib for the gotcha one way or the other, just so everyone who said it wouldn't make a difference can really see if they were telling the truth, instead of tilting it in their own favor by not bothering and risking the kind of con wins we're bound to have a real blowsome time with, theyre like "we'll just use police to assassinate you all in raids and political prisons and blablabla" basically....its like the 1 reason to hate AI, the 1% might be using us to train our replacements

I have no idea what "basic human decency" is supposed to look like, as noted, there are many opposing views...do the 1% have "basic human decency"? Impossible, they havent abolished themselves already

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

love you enough for the both of us

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Zgsu372 by ijusthavealotoffeelings “What I want most isn’t sex, Dean. I want—I want you to love me. That’s my greatest desire. And you—you can’t give it to me, Dean. Not the way I want it. Not the way I love you.” The words are soft, vulnerable, and it feels as if the very room has been transformed into a homemade confessional, because this is Cas confessing his dearest secret to Dean—again, always again—and this is Dean on the other side, not knowing how to respond. Heart racing, Cas’s figure blurring with his tears. This is the bunker dungeon all over again, with death knocking on their door, and this is Cas dying, again, because Dean is too afraid to give him what he wants. OR Post-finale, after Jack rescues Cas from the Empty and brings him back to Earth as a human, Cas and Dean have yet to talk about his confession. Dean's avoidance of the subject was working perfectly—up until a routine hunt in which a witch curses Cas to die within 24 hours unless his greatest desire is fulfilled. Seems like they have some talking to do, after all. Words: 11569, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 2 of post-finale but make it destiel Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 15, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sort Of, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), this is what happens after - Freeform, oh god im so bad at tags, lets get the basics out of the way, Love Confessions, Dean Winchester Lives, look everyones alive in this ok, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, as I am wont to do, I am physically incapable of writing sad endings, so fear not dear readers, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, uhh what else, absurd amounts of mediocre prose, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, he just has trouble accepting it, Fuck Or Die, well its more like, love or die, magic spells i just totally made up, lots of hand wavy magic dont fucking @ me ok, the details arent important, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, hes working on it, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Lets Play A Game Called, how much can i project onto dean winchester in one fic?, if you wanna get drunk then take a shot every time i insert unnecessary prose, ok these tags are getting ridiculous, i need to stop, the love is reciprocated theyre just idiots, the inherent eroticism of dean saying cas's full name, i really meant for this to be a porny one shot then it just got away from me, Feelings Realization, Porn with Feelings, maybe a little plot? but not really this is just dean and cas being happy and in love, as they should be, my headcanons for when cas pulled dean out of hell, dean deserves to be told how much he is loved, and cas deserves to be able to express his love, fuck it man this is my finale for these two, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, i know shocking isnt it, The Handprint (tm), veeeery sappy ending, dean referring to cas as his angel, which no cas is human in this but hes still deans angel fuck off read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Zgsu372

[superpeanutgarden]

Update on that one guy

so like?????

The reason that everyone thinks we're together isnt *just* because I'm all over him all the time.

This is a relief, I'm glad that it isnt just me being twitterpated or whatever. I'm also glad that I'm not imagining the fact that he likes me

I mean, I spent the night with him this weekend😏😏 so it's very clear that he likes me. It isn't romantic, but it doesn't have to be. Like, obviously it would be nice if he was in love with me also. BUT, I am super aware that my emotions are overly intense and I don't need perfect reciprocation. I just want to experience him, ya know??

(I got to experience him, and holy hell. We slow danced briefly in his kitchen and I kissed him desperately- greedily- and we fell asleep entwined with each other)

I just need to tell him that what he feels is enough. I don't want more.

I also ship him with one of our other friends. They look super cute together and I just think it would be neat, ya know??

[gh0stbabyyy-blog]

today after class has made me realize im happy without you. im a peace without you. why would i want to be with anyone that is ok not talking to me? thats ok with me giving them the silent treatment? thats ok with me being mad at them? i want to be someone that doesnt want to be in a fight with me weather silent or loud. i want someone to be proud of me, and take interest in my day and my activities as much as i am in theirs. the same feelings are being reciprocated then im in a one sided relationship. besides doing right by your family in the financial way. you’re not there for me emotionally or physically. im alone. i feel like im growing as a person and your not growing with me. i feel like this is something you are choosing to do. you might love me because of the time we’ve spent together but you dont love me enough to listen to me when i say i need you. we’ve yelled, we’ve talked civilly, and now we dont talk but no matter what type of form of communication it is. it still not enough for you to understand. if in a relationship one person is growing and the relationship isnt. then there is no relationship. we’re supposed to grow together as dual and as individuals but i cannot grow when im constantly being let down and disappointed. i’ve gone through lots of emotional battles from never feeling enough for linda, manny and now you. you will always be my family but this is not ok. i can no longer fight for something that is no longer there. we are family and we need to work on trying to be friends.

[lilkittay]

GET BACK

there was a time in my life where i had a very close deep platonic friendship with a person. at times, i felt simply that i wished they were closer by and not far away. i struggled to explain or understand what my feelings for them were, or if they were even reciprocated. they could never replace my partner, my feelings were of a "i would like to be close and share resources but in a platonic way and with separate living spaces but in the same city" to hang out more but not drive anyone crazy.

our friendship for years was stable, they were a rock i could rely on. or so i thought.

i went through a major change in my life, and at the same time my partner also began a major change in their life. different, and our paths were each our own and very different terrain and yet we could support each other side by side.

my friend decided they needed to have their ownl crisis, they decided not only to mimic the change in my life, but to mimic the change in my partners life as well. and to execute these changes simultaneously.

it felt like a lot of things. one up us? special snowflake olympics? not wanting to be left out? reenactments of childhood traumas where our personal struggles represented siblings ordeals. ohh not this time i wont be pushed to the back burner. im gonna be the pan of grease on fire that ruins dinner! psh.

the one thing it never felt was genuine. no matter how much they tried to convince the kitchen sink their struggle was real, it was fabricated and they built a whole fantasy world in their memories to convince themself of its truth. too rushed. too much haste and later searching for reasons, grasping at any threads, and making up stories by tangling that mess together.

sunk cost fallacy. wont give up the one last thing in it all either.

get back to where you once belonged

it felt crazy. it was crazy. they became crazy. crazier and crazier... it had always been and only became more like watching some kind of sad mockery of a mountain of misguided misunderstandings.

their mimicry/mockery of our struggles, always generating a bigger crisis than what we were struggling with, made me feel as though the tears sweat blood and pain of my own journey were meaningless. unseen. every word i shared met only with some personal anecdote, some self-centered blather. i didnt matter at all and they didnt understand what i or my partner were going through, despite bumbling along in our wake...

the damage is done and sorry will never put humpty dumpty back together again

the creature that replaced my friend i hardly recognize. i swear i was once best friends with a real person, not some overthought persona. not some piecemeal shattered psyche.

i don't care about cartoon card games

i stepped back a bit, put in a little distance for a while just to get a clearer view.

apparently in my absence they reached for the nearest human object in orbit and now theyre "dating" theres so much pathetic desperation there and now its my fault some other person is stuck with it.

i haven't had enough time to process this into words to begin to describe the underlying deeper implications of such behavior, or its underpinnings, or how i feel about it. it isnt mentally healthy.

im not happy for them

as usual, this crap always comes when my path in my career life is taking its own turns. When my growth there hinges on me breaking through the few walls made my neurodivergence that i have to dismantle brick by brick to understand the things i just dont get.

never me always thee

because i was given a different instruction book than everyone else but im playing their game

even if i had my old friend back, im not sure they could help me through this. my partner is here for me serving their role and being always my better half so that is as it should be. no complaints there

but i must face this alone. so much of it is going to be laying bare my own flaws and shortcomings to myself, and having them laid out before me by my leaders. flaying raw my ego and emotions. my friend is incapable of true, dedicated support. no insight. no hint any thoughts or fucks are given.

its all mememememe in there. i swear it wasnt always that way... sigh

never time for me. never time for a halfass attempt at it being about me only me. without payment without exchange without forcing on me their needy needs when i am vulnerable and theyre not welcome.

and fuck. will this ever get better. i dont know.

my old friend helped me through a lot of the past few years of my life in invaluable ways.

then their bff irl died and i guess i filled the void. at first i was bittersweetly honored to fill that role. but i never knew what that friends role was.

i dont know what anything is, im just a tourist

sometimes i feel like i think it would do me some good to go camping alone and just get away from everyone. take my bike, and my tent. hug my partner and say feed the cats and ill text you odten so you dont worry. and just go be alone with myself.

and remember what it was like.

and find out if i still like being alone with me

get back to where i once belonged

it used to feel like talking to my friend was like i could let them inside my head and show them the carnival in there and they could share that space and see me but now i wonder did they ever see anything at all?

no.

this time im owning my crisis. nobody is going to steal it. nobody is going to copy it. nobody is going to yell louder through it and invalidate my existence.

help me dont trump me

get back.

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

stevie boy with a virgin gf that’s all shy and soft and giggly, he was her first kiss after being friends for a year or two, and i just can’t stop thinking about how careful steve would be with her daddy kink involved for sure and how devoted he always is, how in love. gods, he loves her so much. he calls her all the pet names he can think of, kisses her all over all the time, praises her and shows her off, babies her every day, treats her like a princess, always spoiling her. and she’s just as crazy about him!!! so proud to be his, so clearly in love, and steve isn’t used to this level of reciprocity!!! even though she blushes whenever he’s sweet to her and giggles when he makes her flustered and how she melts when he takes care of her and always needs his guidance and touch and protection— imagine his cute little gf is just obsessed with his cock, even if he hasn’t given it to her yet, and steve knows… he knows he’d have to be slow and soft and careful with her, to get her worked up to taking his cock. steve would ease her into the sexual part of their relationship only when she’s ready ofc with such care and softness :( and she just loves having him pressed against her, all of him all over her, just covering her with his body lots of size kink i think and she loves having his cock smushed against her when he hugs her from behind or sits her between his legs. even when he’s soft, ‘cause he’s still big and chubby and she needs to touch!!! she’d be so eager to move forward and have sex with him but steve takes it slow to make sure it’s perfect for her, to get her used to intimacy, to not hurt her, and he often has to remind you that you have to take it slow! that his cock is too big! you need to work up to it! don’t be a brat! be a good girl and listen to me! i—

😫😫😫😫😫

oh my GOD HARMONIA. first of all youre my favorite celebrity ily im freaking out that you sent me this.

i hope this is something like you imagined ! <3 im actually working on another “first time” fic rn so there is more to come <3

every-time he stretches or she thinks he isnt looking her eyes go straight to his dick and shes just drooling. but shes so obvious about it. she really thinks he doesn’t notice but god he does. in fact, she will “sneak” a glance at him, and then a few minutes later she looks again and its bigger? and then shes trying to figure out why hes turned on and is so confused. poor girl is drooling over his cock and hasnt even seen it. hes so hard all the time. of course he wants to take things slowly but shes making it so difficult for him. he has to fight every bone in his body not to indulge her and let her touch him. but hes a gentleman, so of course hes not going to do that.

when the time comes, shes grinding down onto him, the feeling of his cock against her making all rational thoughts go out the window. hes laying her down and working her up. first with his fingers, then with his mouth.

“want you steve”

“ you arent ready yet lovey” with the fondest smile shes ever seen.

“please can i touch you?”

how can he say no to that? letting her go down on him, she pulls his cock out and is mesmerized by the way it almost hits her in the face. hes literally about to hyperventilate above her. the sight of her right by his cock, finally getting to see it. the second thing she notices is that hes huge. a good eight or nine inches and thick. she wraps her pretty hand around the middle and gives the tip a little kiss. the sigh that leaves his lips makes her look up at him. and she goes back in to touch him more and he just picks her up and places her back on the bed cause he knows hes not going to last long if she keeps doing that.

he pushes only the tip inside her at first, spreading her lips open by moving her thighs a little farther apart. he know how to make it as painless as possible, making sure her hips are propped up on a pillow. shes wet enough and open enough that the entry is pretty easy, but the stretch isnt. shes whimpering from the pain, but it just feels so good that she cant stop herself from wanting more. especially since hes rubbing soothing circles into her hips and reassuring her constantly.

“shhh, its okay baby, ive got you. you want me to stop? you dont hav-”

“no! … want more…” a little shy as she finishes her sentence.

hes smiling so softly at her because why does she make it so hard for him to tell her no.

“not yet honey, youre still getting used to it.” and youre arching your back and writhing beneath him, “you gotta tell me when to move.”

and of course she wont lie and say it doesnt hurt. but she just wants to be full. so shes whimpering and moaning while steve occupies himself with her breasts and waist. “doing so good baby, be a good girl for me okay? love you so much.” the pain finally subsiding completely. he can feel her relax around his cock.

“more please steve”

“ok sweetheart, hold onto me alright? ive got you.” and hes pushing himself deeper inside her, having his arm around her waist keep her grounded and his hand on her face to keep her looking at him. her mouth wide open as he finally bottoms out.

“such a good girl. such a good girl baby. good job beautiful.” before lacing their hands together. <3