#being the only one who puts effort into accommodating for others isn't a great feeling

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Three people in this household and me being the one who is the furthest away from the doorbell, is the single one who heard it. The time it takes me to cover my chest and reach the door is just enough for the post man to mark the package as no one's home will deliver again tomorrow

My brother's room is right on top of the main door so the sound is annoyingly loud in there and dad who was the closest to the door was just as always deafened by the atrocious volume of the stupid tv

No one pays any mind when I complain about loud sounds since the amount of fucks this family gives for eachother is impressively 0, so there goes my package on another trip around because this people can't admit their hearing is severely damaged. Meanwhile I must endure hearing every single TV show from the other corner of the house and over the lofi on my headphones. Doesn't help the tv shows usually have agonic screaming in them which causes me to feel the agony I'm hearing and more often than not I end trying not to throw up. If I'm sleeping I get very disturbing nightmares on top of it, but whatever my problems may be all in my head or something

[drmajalis]

How I feel dating each Replika would go (shitpost)

Eule: Probably the most 'stable' of the girls to be with. She's great at understanding my needs and boundaries and tries her best to never step outside them. We go for walks in the park and have picnics together, and she teaches my trans fem ass how to properly do makeup. Star: She's always looking to gently nudge me out of my comfort zone, but knows when to stop when it isn't wanted. She wants me to experience all of the same thrills and highs she does, but in a way that tries to respect my limits. In turn, I help her feel comfortable enough to express her doubts and worries and offer the kind of support she can't get elsewhere. Ara: ASD to ASD communication. Long nights spent playing local multiplayer on stuff like Smash bros, or Goldeneye 007. Even though we're dating we act more like best buddies who happen to live together, and that works for us. One downside is we both suck at remembering to clean the bathroom on schedule. Mynah: I'm also a very big girl(tm) so we can sort of relate to each other and support each other in that regard. We do lots of cooking together, but we live apart as it's hard to find a place that can comfortably accommodate both of us, but we make it work. Kolibri: Probably on edge most of the time. She assures me she'd never read my thoughts without my consent but just knowing she can it would be hard to overcome that anxiety, and I'm not sure she would try very hard to do so. Probably don't see things lasting that long, honestly. Storch: Big bad dommy mommys are for others, I don't react well to being demeaned or even spoken to harshly. Doubt we even make it to second base. Falke: Sorta like combining the issues with Kolibri and Storch, except she actually puts in the effort to make me feel at ease, and uses her dommy powers to nurture and guide rather than control and dominate. Only issue is how the fuck does my uncool butt even get close enough to her level of majesty without feeling dreadfully inferior. Elster: I feel like personality wise this would more or less be dating myself. I'm not sure if that would work well or not.

[graylinesspam]

Okay, there's been a lot of hot topic discussions about participating in fandom and the rules and expectations there in. Great discussions, I am loving the active shift to move back to a more traditional fandom etiquette. Being kinder, more supportive, more encouraging, ect, of creators is great. BUT lets be honest. It's not always easy. One of the biggest challenges we are facing right now is an environmental one. The worlds on fucking fire, we're all exhausted and scared and using our fandoms as escapism from everything else. That still doesn't give anyone the right to become entitled to fandom made media or to behave poorly in those spaces. But the tired and well meaning consumers of fandom who are just too burnt out to do much more than doomscroll are probably wondering how they can help to create a better environment without putting themselves out. I say this as someone who has been there, is there, and will be there again.

Structuring your fandom engagement can be immensely helpful for the fandom and your enjoyment of it. If you are suffering in any way and are just too exhausted to even think enough words to leave a comment on a fic. If your running on fumes and using a constant flow of fics, edits, ect to keep going. But you genuinely don't have the time to stop and engage with the media. If you are suffering from social anxiety and it's just too much to even try to shout into the void. Then this is my advice for you. Put it off.

Seriously.

As a fic writer myself I know how much writers sit on ao3 refreshing and waiting for hits and comments. I know how much I love receiving notifs on here for headcannon posts. And it is absolutely fact that creators must be interacted with and encouraged to make more content. But it is equally true that the media they make is meant to be enjoyed for the long term, not just the moment it comes out. And there are ways you can accommodate yourself.

starting with the things it doesn't actually take effort to do. The things you really should be doing right away. Like posts. leave kudos. use repost and reblog features of whatever platform you are using.

I know that in the past I have been held back from reblogging a post because I know that I will have thoughts on it. So I want to put it off until i have the time to get to it. But the truth of it is that there is no actual reason not to give the creator an empty reblog once or even more than once. Notifications feel good. The only thing that's discouraging you is that little social anxiety voice. I promise you it isn't embarrassing to reblog something more than once.

Creators won't think anything negative about you for doing so. If it's as easy as pushing a button. DO IT. Push the damn button.

And this goes well beyond just posted works too. If there's a discord chat you don't have the energy to way in on but your enjoying reading. Hit them with a reaction. If there's a post in the making with multiple creators discussing something, reblog it. Engage, hit that button baby

Now for the less demanding tasks, You feeling demand avoidant to engagement. You feeling nonverbal to a mental degree. Head empty no words? BUT your absolutely digging the content your consuming? Great. You can literally save it for later. Your allowed. If you need some kind of authoritative permission to be late to things, This is me granting it to you. There is no such equivalent to liking an old Instagram post (or whatever it is the youths stress about socially). You want to say something in the notes of a post you liked? there's a fun feature of this here blog site that lets you save posts as drafts. You would not believe the amount of drafts that I have saved. Some are years old. Some are kept as permanent references for other works that I come back to.

Your ever find yourself adding to a post just to lose steam half way through? don't delete that response. Save to draft.

You want to leave something nice in the notes of some fan art but can't for the life of you think any words? (There's always emojis) save to drafts. Come back to it later when you feel more up to it.

You're allowed to put thing off. You are not obligated to jump at all fandom engagement as tax for being in the fandom.

Now, that being said, you should still actually come back to that saved content. You want to know a secret about me? I am terrible at leaving comments.

I know as a fic write, I should be better at it, but I'm just not. I came to conclusion very quickly that feeling guilty about that only made me do it less. Less engagement is not the answer. So here are some easily employable tips for being better at leaving comments.

#1 don't...I mean, don't worry about it right away. You just finished a fic, you feel like you should leave a comment in appreciation. You are allowed to wait.

Personally I use my reading history on ao3 to keep track of my reading. I rarely leave a comment after having just finished a fic. Usually I wait for a good mental health day, (or a day where I have to urge to write but my brain won't let me actually work on a fic) and I go through my history and leave comments on all the fics I've read since the last time I did this. I usually do this between every month and every other month.

I gave this advice to a friend of mine a couple years ago and she has decided to make a personal tag in her bookmarks that she uses to keep track of fics she plans on commenting on later.

I have also personally used the PRIVATE bookmark feature as a way to take notes on fics while reading them so I remember what I wanted to comment on later. Since these notes are nearly ineligible to anyone but me. And since they're invisable to the author, this feels private and organized enough for my brain to handle.

I find that this method not only make me feel good for spreading joy across the fandom in bursts but also sometimes lets me make more well thought out and articulate comments. It also allows me to go back and leave a comment on each chapter of a long fic with my thoughts, without disrupting my rhythm during reading. Which we know authors love getting a stream of new comments, so there's no need to feel bad about it.

#2 But wait, maybe you do want to leave a comment right away but don't have the words. Then you can leave an emoji or keyboard smash and just come back later to leave a better comment. Fun fact, you can, should, and are encouraged to leave multiple comments on the same fic/post. You are more than welcome to leave a string of emojis now and come back later. I personally just went back to a fic I read almost seven years ago just to leave a better comment. And while it's awesome to reread fics when you do this. You don't have to. I didn't this time. I just found myself thinking about the fic in question and wanted to say something that, at the time of reading, i just wasn't mature or educated enough to have put into words.

#3 Or maybe you just won't ever have the words to say exactly what you want. That's okay too. Sometimes concepts are just too big to get from you brain to your mouth. I hate it when it happens to me. And in the past it has felt very discouraging. But I promise you it's okay. There are about a million posts on this site giving you advice on how to word your comments so I won't use too much space up on that, but i will say, It's okay if all you can manage is an ok comment. Fanfiction comments are not something you need to have a good grade in. You are allowed to be dry. You are allowed to just say "I liked__ and __ and the way that you___", without elaborating. You do not have to explain yourself and all your thoughts in a comment. A compliment as simple as "I love the way you write." Is perfectly fine.

#4 Head empty, only blorbo? telling people you love the trope they're writing, or a headcannon you like about the character that they included is great to. Or something included in a drawing. As fun as it is to receive an annotated analysis on something, it's actually not mandatory for you to talk to someone about their actual writing or drawing skills. Sometimes all your brain wants is to think about the character or the headcannon or the scenario. And that's ok. Clearly the creator wants to as well, if they wrote about it.

The core of all of this advice is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Fandom is being consumed too fast and left behind to quickly. It's okay to take your time with things, Yes even if you also find yourself chasing the dopamine. You can like the latest trendy fandom, and also use any of the above methods to keep track of the whirlwind of content your eating through, and come back to it later. You can also use que features to space out your reblogs of some fandom content to spread out the appreciation.

If you are for some reason embarrassed to blow through someone's blog or fics, use the que feature. Making comments in a private bookmark and then add them to the fic later.

You are allowed to take things at your own pace. Fandom isn't just for right now. It's for the long term, but only if you continue to engage with it.

[elfhunk]

hi! i just wanted to say that all of your stuff on exercise and having a good relationship with your body has been really nice to read on my dash.

i've been trying on and off for the last few years to get myself back into a consistent exercise routine that i enjoy (COVID happened, stuff in my life happened, etc.) and i think that both your perspectives + obvious love of the gym are really helpful as motivation.

if i can ask a question: do you have any advice on developing a consistent, realistic schedule and sticking to it? (of course, while still being okay if things come up and change what you can do.) for me, i think one of the reasons i fell out of my routine is that my work/social/life obligations have changed a lot in the past few years. so i've been struggling to figure out where to slot in time for exercise when it feels like there's always something else i could or "should" be doing.

also, thanks for all the fun warframe stuff! i haven't played in ages because of the aforementioned obligation time crunch, but it's also really cool to see what you're doing in the game. my playstyle and preferred warframes were pretty opposite to yours, so i really had no clue that you could do a lot of the things you've shown off.

thank you! i'm glad it's having the desired impression on the other side. i used to think posting about it or deigning to enjoy brief moments of self-indulgent flexing was gauche when i've only put in the bare minimum of effort since i started lifting in 2020... but... uh...

when we only see images of people who have been kissed by perfectly specialized genetics and have dedicated a huge amount of their time, money and resources to it and have these immaculate perfectly proportioned bodies?

that only makes the body dysmorphia madness worse for all of us? especially when so many of those images aren't given context... or disclosing who is and isn't using certain drugs. 🫠

anyway, my handy tool in all of this is a thing i picked up as a habit from sexologist and all around wonderful woman dr. lindsey doe a long, long time ago:

a want, will, won't list.

although in this instance of teaching it was being used to discuss sexual activity, it's how i end up thinking about basically any major decision or lifestyle change.

time just is not infinite! you cannot do it all! there is going to be compromise!

these kinds of tools are a great way to help your brain organize your conflicting thoughts and set boundaries for yourself.

so, i don't know your brain or what accommodations you need, but i hope this framework might help you start figuring it out?

how many hours, total, do you want to spend a week?

how much time on strength training?

how much time on cardio?

how many individual days a week?

what are you willing to change about your existing schedule?

what won't you change under any circumstances?

would you be willing to buy some home equipment?

pay for a different gym that's closer by?

would you want to take a class or pay for a trainer?

do you have friends who would want to pursue this with you?

there's a ton of resources published by actual personal trainers on how to structure a full body workout into a given week for people with every possible permutation of schedule availability if you look for them.

as mentioned before, i've actually been having a horrible time at the gym this year. my appetite is shot, my energy is gone, and i've just been unable to prioritize it. part of my own journey with this has been acknowledging where there's necessary compromise. i've had to spend more time working on my brain than my body this year, and that's okay.

i can show myself kindness while still trying to problem solve. i can make cooking meals easier, i can budget for more accessible options, i can go maybe 2-3 days a week instead of 3-4 like i used to.

to facilitate this, i've also been trying to focus even more on the immediate benefits of this work.

focusing on minor aesthetic differences you won't see payoff for months or years just isn't particularly motivating?

but when i've had a long day and i just desperately need an hour or two to focus on something physically demanding that requires my full attention? where i get to walk away feeling physically exhilarated and accomplished, even if i was no where near my PR?

that's self care, baby! we all understand how important that is!

your body is truly just too stupid to care about the long term goals. it will just feel really good, and much better than it did an hour before even if the actual performance of that session was mediocre.

apologies for another full essay a response!

again, i truly just don't know your life or your circumstances, so i can only provide broad strokes... but i hope this at least gives some scaffolding to begin tackling the issue with some kindness to yourself as you re-calibrate.

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

((I'm going to keep this succinct because if I say everything I want to say I know I'll just end up feeling frustrated (to put it both kindly and lightly) and I, ultimately, want to go forward on a positive, healthy note. That deserves to be the focus and drive rather than any deep seated frustration or upset.

With the exception of one thread (and the applicable tcol threads that are being moved over to my other blog or have been moved already) I'm going to be dropping all interactions here and permanently archiving this blog.

This probably disappoints some of you but I've dealt with all of this long enough. This blog isn't a safe, healthy or good place for me to be in; in all honesty it hasn't been for over a year now, and no matter what I do to express myself, no matter how I try to accommodate others either ic or ooc, no matter what I offer or suggest, no matter who I speak to or how I reach out it just..... doesn't matter. Despite all efforts on my part I've either been ignored or, worse, sent hate message after hate message for reasons I cannot even begin to comprehend. And that's not fair. That's not fair and it never has been fair and I'm tired. I've put up with all of this for far too long when I could be somewhere better instead, like my new blog, or just..... anywhere else besides here. I hate to say that, I really do, but it's true and I should've realized that sooner and maybe I shouldn't of fought so hard, I don't know.

I'm tired of not being listened to and that includes listening to myself and so I'm going to leave and do what's best for me even if it feels a little 'too late' for comfort.

I will continue to rp on this platform (and maybe that's stupid of me; who knows) but I don't know when I'll be making a new variety blog. Creating a new blog from scratch is an incredibly stressful thing for me and I've already had to do exactly that incredibly recently as everyone here knows but..somehow I'll do it. Somehow. I know I'm going to and I know that I'll be musing pretty much all of the characters featured here (like Danny, my eternal beloved bias, he'll undoubtedly still be the face of the blog lol) and I know that I'd like to see some of you there and that I still want to write with you it just..... can't be here. Not anymore. I don't know when I'll make a new blog but... hopefully it'll be soon. It'll be a completely different url and such, I can tell you that much. I'll also be even more severe about who I follow and who I don't for reasons I..... shouldn't need to go into if anyone has been paying attention.

My inbox is completely disabled and my IMs are disabled as much as they can be so please don't attempt to contact me here. If you want to interact/write with me in the meantime you can find me on my other rp blog @constellationcrowned and if you want to chat ooc, potentially get a link to the new blog whenever I make it, etc, that's what discord is for. If you already have my info that's great and if you don't (and so long as we're mutuals) you can ask me for it privately on the appropriate blog. If I'm slow to respond to people regardless of connection please don't be offended and understand that this is incredibly hard for me to do, process, etc, but it's necessary if I want to not only continue writing but to continue enjoying writing on the whole. I have my tcol blog to help with that, thank fuck, but I still love the muses here and want to write them too.

It was fun while it lasted and I hope to see some of you on my new blog (and if not that's okay too, I understand if there are hard feelings or things you can't reconcile and I won't hold that against anyone) and you know where to find me in the meantime. I'll update this pinned to something more general/concise whenever I have things set up. I hope things go better next time.))

[headandheartinhand]

i needed a space to talk without caring about a single other person's opinion or judgment over my words. because i'm 28 and still don't feel like i can trust any of my friends. some of them with some things, sure, but i'm very all or nothing. if you can't give me your all, then i want nothing to do with you. and i hold every friend to this standard, which is why i'm deeply detached from my friends. if i can only let you in a little, then why am i letting you in at all? doesn't make any sense to me.

i'm mad at the world. i'm mad at my parents. i'm mad at myself. my life feels incapable of getting better. how do i get a job that can accommodate my needs when i don't have a diagnosis. how can i get a diagnosis without insurance. how can i get insurance without money. how do i get money without a job. do you see the cycle i'm stuck in.

i tried to get on medicaid; i wasn't accepted. they said i didn't make enough money to qualify. i thought the whole point of this shit was to help people who don't make enough money.

today is mother's day. i've been crying a lot, and i haven't even slept yet. being back in my parents house after two years and many states away, it hits me so much harder just how much my parents weren't there for me. just fully 100% emotionally absent from my life. i try not to blame them. i know they've got their own struggles, and i know i've got more emotional intelligence in my pinky than they've got in both of 'em combined. but i can't help feeling bitter, hurt, and abandoned. i can't help feeling like they failed in raising me.

i hate how no one can see this but me. it makes me feel crazy, feeling all the grief and pain they've caused me, knowing nobody can see it. i hate that i got my mom a great gift and am proud of it, that i want her approval yet i don't actually wanna spend any time with her today. i hate being a 28 year old crying out for a mommy i don't have (because i'm sure as hell not crying out for the one i do have).

i think 28 years is a long time to spend alone. i know some people are surrounded by others and still feel alone. i used to be one of those people. yet i can't help but look on with envy when i walk through stores, seeing people smile and laugh with their family, friends, or partner. i want one of those. just one person, from any of those dynamics, that i can bare my soul to. that i don't have to fake happy around. that i can share my broken or burnt out pieces with. i wanna be around someone where i'm not afraid to share the mean thoughts in my head, but i'm also not feeding into their negativity or vice versa. just safely expressing my not so savory thoughts and feelings around someone who gets me.

i've put so much effort into understanding others throughout my life. even now that i don't do it as much, i still feel like i put in more effort for ppl i don't even like than most ppl in my life have done for me. and i don't mean that in the people-pleaser way that i used to; i mean it in a basic-fucking-courtesy type way. you know how they say common sense isn't so common? i feel like that's even more true about common courtesy.

so that's why i walk around a seething ball of spite these days. don't get me wrong, i still smile in everyone's face because one thing i'm never tryna do is take my bad mood out on someone who didn't directly cause it. they may have triggered it, but unless you're in my face purposefully making me feel bad, then i don't need to make you feel bad. but i know walking around holding it all in isn't good either; that's how headboards get broken during alone time lol.

i'm not sure what the solution is. i can't afford therapy. i think this blog is gonna be good for me, tho

[whiteboxerbriefs]

Chapter 4: Make Yourself Even More Likeable

"In a study conducted by UCLA, subjects rated more than 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance for likeability. The top-rate adjectives had nothing to do with being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive. Instead, the top adjectives were sincere, transparent, and capacity for understating another person. These qualities are not innate characteristics. They are critical components of emotional intelligence."

Interestingly enough, I find that people like me more when I am someone that enjoys their presence and makes an active effort to listen and understand about whatever it is they have to say. I think there is something in the brain chemistry of us all that wires us to really enjoy it when someone takes an active interest in whatever thoughts we might have. Making an effort to really slow down and be a good listener is something I should really implement in my life, especially when I am in conversation with Katelyn. She often has many thoughts to share and stories about her day that require active listening, not passive listening. Understanding her and what she goes through allows me to better accommodate her and her emotions so that I can show her that I genuinely want to listen to her vents and needs.

"Habits that likeable people implement in their lives:

Ask a lot of questions

Put away your phone

Greet people by name

Smile

Don't Seek Attention

Follow the platinum rule: Treat others the way THEY want to be treated

Balance passion and fun"

As someone who is genuinely curious about lots of things, asking questions comes very easy to me. Although, I have noticed that repetitive questions in my conversations cause me to be at a standstill with the person I am speaking to. I need to formulate my questions better so that the flow of conversation is much smoother and doesn't feel like I'm not understanding the person I am speaking to. Asking questions is a great way to show that I am listening to the person. With regards to the platinum rule, I haven't heard about this one and I thought it had something to do with the golden rule. However, everyone has different needs and wants. Understanding everyone's needs a wants and making a conscious effort to realize that they would like to be treated the way they want to be treated will only strengthen bonds and help to make myself become a much more likeable person.

"When asking good questions, sometimes asking a lot of questions isn't enough, and the conversation feels like it's going nowhere. If the other person seems hesitant to open up, encourage them to do so by asking substantial questions. "What do you do?" doesn't further the conversation nearly as much as, "Why did you choose your profession?" Search for questions that will help you better understand what makes the other person tick without getting too personal."

"Turn off your inner voice. One giant thing that keeps us from connecting with other people is that we don't really listen. Instead, we're thinking while the other person is talking. You must turn off this inner voice if you want to connect deeply with other people."

Much of the anxiety and judgement that I fear does come from within the inner voice in my head and being able to turn off that same voice in my head will definitely benefit me to be much more concise in my listening abilities. Understanding that the person speaking to me has something important to say will show that I truly care about them and that giving them the time of day to speak to me shows that I am someone who is easy to come to.

[peculiarxafternoon]

pile 1 | pile 2

pile 3 | pile 4

𝙥𝙖𝙘: 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙨

hello everyone! welcome to this reading! today we're going to talk about your future studies (you can set the timeline yourself, e.g. one year from now, six months, etc.). the sections of the reading will be as follows:

1. a general overview

2. what you should focus on

3. extra activities

4. (for college / future college students) what should your major be?

take a deep breath and focus on your goals or studies. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only!

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome!

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards, the universe has your back oracle deck!

pile 1

1. general overview

(cards: ten of pentacles, seven of swords rx, queen of wands x2, the chariot, two of pentacles, the star)

hello, pile 1! wow, right off the bat you guys are giving me such boss energy. let me start by saying your future studies will be great, okay? you may have fire in your chart, with the queen of wands, but either way, i just see you living it up. having a stable routine, chasing after your goals, making sure you are putting effort into what you do, and getting recognition for it! it honestly surprises me because it seems like you're enjoying it very much (and, as a person going through finals rn, i can not relate). whether you're starting a new school year or a new semester, i see you going in with a whole new flare. just be careful of someone trying to steal your credit, or copying off your notes. definitely make sure you are being credited for your work, and start standing up for yourself!

2. what you should focus on

(cards: saturnus, capricorn, taurus, king of pentacles rx, four of swords)

now pile 1, the biggest message i see here is have! a! schedule! that matches your rhythm and what you want to achieve, but at the same time, take breaks. for as long as you need to. humans weren't made for hustle culture, love, we were made to hunt once a day and then bask in the sunlight until the sun goes down. you can't control what your body needs, so try to accommodate it by taking breaks, making sure you're having fun and nurturing yourself, having a nice diet and drinking water. overworking yourself will only lead to exhaustion and that never ends well for anybody. remember what j-hope said: a professional should also know how to pace themselves!

3. extra activities

(cards: the star rx, ace of pentacles, five of swords, "when i learn to love i am led", the universe works fast when I'm having fun!")

i think taking up some extra activities that you enjoy will really help you on your journey, pile 1. whether that is sports, art, volunteering, doing something that makes you feel good inside and breaks from your continuous studying will help lots! if you're one of those people who feel guilty if they aren't on their feet, try to pick up a job or so something you enjoy that will bring you profit. no matter what, don't get too drunk on your academic glory, or you may risk getting hurt. again, overworking yourself isn't sexy, darling. learn to love doing things other than studying, or things that will bring you satisfaction, and a proud smile. don't really seek approval from others, just try to focus on what you like to spend time on, and what makes you happy.

4. what should your college major be?

(cards: scorpio, gemini, cancer, four of swords, queen of wands, king of wands)

well, pile 1. you can do pretty much anything lol. like, if you have the drive and passion for it, you can do it even if it's something as difficult as becoming an astronaut or working for nasa. however, if i have to narrow it down, being a detective or a private investigator popped in my head first. somewhere where you can use your intellect, intuition, and knowledge of human relationships. you could also do great in marketing and advertisement, culinary school, interior design, dance, any kind of sport, and writing. i don't think the key here is what you should study, but more so what you want to study. what fills you with excitement and makes you all jittery. choose that, no matter what. also don't be afraid to put yourself out there, especially if you want to perform! I'm sure you will go far.

thank you for reading <3

pile 2

1. general overview

(cards: knight of cups rx, two of pentacles, the star rx, seven of swords rx, four of cups rx, the world rx, knight of cups rx)

hello, pile 2! are you doing alright? i feel like your future studies will find you or will lead you to not be in the best place, emotionally especially. maybe you feel overworked and burnt out, or you have other issues affecting your mental health. whatever this may be, it's causing you to feel like you're losing balance, or like your wishes are not coming true the way you want them to be. I'm also sensing that for some of you, this is the period when you're graduating and you feel the weight of other people's expectations and your workload a lot more than before. for some, you may have envisioned life to be going differently by that time and you'll be too consumed over "what if"s. even if the cards don't say so, please remember to take care of yourself first, because if you lose yourself you really will have nothing left.

2. what you should focus on

(cards: aquarius, mars, virgo, knight of wands rx, knight of swords)

definitely try to get your mid off whatever is burdening you by doing something creative. i sense you have a sensitive soul, no matter what you show people, so please try to nurture that! i heard reforming clothes, but anything creative will do! definitely pick up something that doesn't overwhelm you and helps you focus on more positive thoughts / restores your drive to do things. staying active can also be very helpful, so if performing is something you enjoy, find a way to do that as well. you guys need to help your mind relax, so please focus on something that doesn't overstimulate your senses, and maybe even helps you relax. organising / cleaning your space could also help lots.

3. extra activities

(cards: page of swords, five of wands rx, the lovers, "i create mindful moments throughout the day, reminding myself that i am love and miracles are natural", "in any moment i can surrender to the powerful presence of love through prayer, contemplation, and stillness.", "my faith has the power to turn trauma into healing, conflict into growth, and fear into love.")

with the last card you guys got, i think you may have some trauma caused by a parental figure that made you believe you or your efforts aren't good enough. while working through resolving that, and its effect on your academics, i think doing activities that boost your confidence will help you find your way. something that is far away from any toxic environment, maybe even frowned upon by your close circle. if you are religious or feel comfortable, prayer and meditation could help you ease your mind and get rid of any negative thoughts. if you are carrying guilt with you, please remember to take some time to be as imperfect as you can, without thinking that you're wasting time or doing something unproductive. I'm thinking of something creative, like painting or dance, but you can apply to your situation and what you enjoy doing. make sure you feel good while doing it, and if you don't right away, fake it till you make it. i believe in you, pile 2!

4. what should your college major be?

(capricorn, cancer, leo, king of swords, page of cups, six of wands)

no matter what you choose, i feel like you guys will make it big. like. leo and the six of swords? come ON! whether you want to study management, law, psychology, anthropology, interior design, or cooking, i see you excelling at it, both while in college and after it. if you want something more showy, follow it! anything in front of the camera or on stage suits you very well! and don't be afraid to show it off, too! also, if you feel like starting a business without going to college, seriously consider it, because it has the potential to be extremely fruitful. i just have this image of a really big office, and you running the place. we are working on the cancer - capricorn axis, so whether you have these signs in your chart or you're meant to be a corporate sentimentalist (that's not a word, ik), you are destined to succeed. dont stand in your own way and go for it!

thank you for reading <3

pile 3

1. general overview

(cards: wheel of fortune rx, the star, ace of swords rx, the star rx, five of swords, ace of swords rx)

hello, pile 3! i feel like your future studies will help you on your self discovery journey. there is a lot of the same cards shown both in the upright and reversed for you, and with the wheel of fortune it feels like a choose your path game. plato's allegory of the cave popped up in my head as well. you're working hard but it seems like you don't have one set direction, and there is a lot of paths you want to pursue. i genuinely don't feel like this energy is heavy as much as it is confusing. "there's so much i want to do, but so little time" vibes. and, if we go back to plato, maybe you have this blind belief that you're meant to follow one path academically, only to realise that your heart wants something else, or you're just really good at something different than what you're planning to pursue. i vote you give that a shot, when the time comes.

2. what you should focus on

(cards: luna, pisces, uranus, the star rx, page of swords rx)

are you guys pisces? there's no way the star keeps popping up so much. do you want to be an astrologer? an astronomer? an astrophysicist? like what's going on!? anyway, i think you should focus on spirituality, and especially your intuition. not only is it going to help you find out what it is that you should pursue, it's a pleasant break from studying and / or being around lots of people for a long time. if you practice witchcraft, do so mostly during the nighttime, work on your moon phases rituals and maybe collect some moon water. also, accept the fact that everyone's path in life is different. yours doesn't have to look like anyone else's. something you should focus on is understanding that, though probably unconventional, your path is valid and, most importantly, yours.

3. extra activities

(cards: page of wands rx, eight of cups rx, queen of pentacles, "hope is the conduct for mirracles", "there is a stream of love supporting my dreams")

save up. that's it lol. seriously, though, if you've gotten used to going out, or spending your money mindlessly, i think it's time you start rethinking your way of living. by no means should you stop having fun just so you can save money, however cutting down some of it could do wonders. your dreams, while supported 100% by the universe, also need financial support to exist. whether that is for materials, classes, auditions or productions, you're going to have to spend some amount of money to succeed. and, if you believe you can, you will succeed. there's support overflowing around you, from your spirit guides or the people in your circle. being able to manage your time and keep organised will also help you so much. you've got this, pile 3!

4. what should your college major be?

(cards: scorpio, leo, gemini, uranus, strength, four of pentacles)

i don't know if it's a major, but genuinely consider astrology. with scorpio here i can't help but take the joke seriously. other than that, strength fell on the leo card, so something that puts you in the spotlight is great. make up artist and stylists also sound nice. other than that, mathematics, chemistry and physics (astrophysics, if you will) could definitely be your cup of tea. i actually don't know much about what majors you can have from them, but you get the point, I'm sure. whatever it is, i see you guys getting good money from it. good for you. don't be afraid to put yourself out there! especially if you're a singer that writes their own lyrics, or a dancer who choreographs their dances! you deserve to be seen, either way. good luck, darling <3

thank you for reading <3

pile 4

1. general overview

(cards: seven of cups, the world, ace of cups rx, three of pentacles, four of cups rx, six of cups)

hello, pile 4! you guys seem to be networking! you will be having so many opportunities and doors opening up in front of you, and you'll possibly accomplish that by hanging around important people. if that's not the case, then your communication and cooperation with the people around you is going to be great. you may be struggling to pick a major or choose which path you want to follow. my advice for that is to look back at what you loved as a child, especially if you had a dream job for a while. figure out why that was your dream, and what that means for you now in case you have tried to move past it or burry it deep inside you. nothing is impossible, pile 4! you're holding the world in your hands and you will achieve anything you want, as long as you make the conscious effort to chase it.

2. what you should focus on

(cards: cancer, scorpio, virgo, seven of swords rx, knight of wands)

there's a lot of orange in the cards, so maybe wearing orange or being around something orange is something you'll need to focus on? probably during your finals or other exams. definitely nurture your emotional state, though. you have grown so much in such a short period of time, and what people knew or know of you will just not align with who you'll have become. and that's okay, you don't owe anyone anything. listen to your intuition and gut feeling, also claresentience? is that how you spell it? you might be getting downloads in the form of sensations on your body, or emotions. please don't ignore them! there's also a message of you going after what makes you feel the most like yourself, no matter what. take care of your health, too. no degree or certificate should come at the cost of your health.

3. extra activities

(cards: king of cups rx, queen of pentacles rx, seven of wands rx, "when i focus on my inner light i see the world through the lens of love.", "the moment i realign with love, clear direction is presented to me.")

i think you'll be working on a special, personal project that nobody will really know about? i don't think you're even letting me see what it is, which is acceptable and valid. whatever it is you'll be doing, please try to be patient with it and watch it grow. instant gratification isn't always the way to go, some things just take their time to flourish and show how great they can be. maybe you're working on healing some trauma, or trying to find what you really want to do in life. love seems to be a keyword. if this is you embarking on a self love journey, remember that neither that, nor recovery is linear. it goes through phases, and though it could frustrate you because it messes with your studies or schedule, always put yourself first and you won't regret it.

4. what should your major be?

(cards: leo, scorpio, capricorn, the emperor rx, two of wands, three of wands rx)

you may need to move countries or go to a different area to pursue your dream major. or maybe it requires lots of planning and travelling. tourism could be great for you guys, advertisement, acting, modelling, law, psychology, anything in which you can be innovative and you can have your ideas heard and respected. I'm not seeing something with a clear hierarchy, though, like management, or any company work. it seems more free and exciting. you may be studying somewhere where it's warm or there are lots of sandy areas. ancient egypt popped up, also? maybe an archaeologist that specialises in that, which instantly sounds super cool! biologist also keeps coming up in my head, but i have zero experience in the field, i wish i could specify it more for you guys. also if you're thinking of pursuing something related to the occult instead, i see it being quite fitting for you! I'm sure that whatever you decide on, you're going to succeed, pile 4!

thank you for reading!

! don't copy or repost my work !

[compassionatereminders]

Hey, you don’t have to answer this publicly (and I’m not trying to prolong the drama if you’re done with this topic) but I just really wanted to thank you for defending audiobooks as actually reading.

I have pretty significant ADHD, and even though I only got a diagnosis last year, I’d been struggling with it for a long time. Even with a diagnosis it’s still hard to accept things like accommodations because it feels like I’m cheating or I beat myself for not being able to do things the ‘normal’ way.

Having speech-to-text software for all my textbooks last semester was the accommodation that made the biggest difference for me in terms of being able to keep up with my classes. No matter how helpful it was, there was still this stupid thought in my head that I wasn’t doing it like everyone else was and that mad it bad somehow. It felt icky and othering and I hated it.

The two things that helped me be okay with it were a) reminding myself that I was still taking notes, and putting in the same effort, and getting out the same information as all my classmates, just in a way that worked for my brain, and b) how great my professors were about it. They still called it reading. They were proud of me for doing the reading. When they said things like “I’m glad everyone did the reading” or “I need you all to read…” that still included me, there was no addition of “and listening for [my name].”

Getting a diagnosis and having to change so much about the way I approached learning was effective, but it was also really hard. Being told that you’re different in a way that you can never ‘fix’ is scary and lonely and frustrating. It really is the little things like just using inclusive language that makes it seem like less of a huge deal. How we talk about things matters.

Thank you for not backing down on that. Thank you for not letting casual ableism slide (because that’s what it is, no matter how much they say it isn’t).

People like you are the reason why I chose to have that discussion even though it was stupid. Cause I know I'm not the only one who can't do certain things the traditional way - and I don't want any of us to feel bad or stupid for needing to use accommodations! That's why I refused to back down and agree that it isn't "real" reading to listen to an audio book even though the distinction might seem silly to most. Because there's many people like us who deserve to feel valid in our way of doing things.

[paper--moons]

Regressor!Hawks Headcanons

(with cg!Twice)

Thanks to his responsibilities with the Hero Commission, Keigo has trouble regressing. Like a lot of trouble. He's quite literally been trained to be their golden boy since he was five, which absolutely wrecked any sense of a normal childhood he could have had. Before that even, he didn't exactly have a good home life to say the least. No, he's always had responsibilities, whether it be to his mother or to his handlers. So when he does finally slip? He falls hard into babyspace. But it's because he's always been so responsible for others that he doesn't let himself regress when he needs to; he simply does not know when or even how to let go, so he always shoves it away for later. Only later never seems to come. What he really needs is the right cg in order to coax him down. Enter Twice.

Now, Jin naturally fits a very specific category of cg without even trying, and that's the role of an older brother. Maybe he's not so great at taking care of himself, but in spite of (or perhaps because of) that he tries to make sure those around him are happy and taken care of. He's kind where it counts and cares deeply about those he considers his friends. So when the League starts working with Hawks and grows to trust him, he naturally extends that same warmth towards him as well! The others are still a bit standoffish around him, but Jin likes him. Hawks will actually joke around with him without treating him like a joke himself (which is more than can be said for some League members). But Jin can tell that there's something else going on beneath the surface, and none of that paranoid traitor talk that Dabi keeps spewing. So naturally he doubles down on his friendship efforts and sticks to him like glue.

The stress of playing double agent is no joke however, especially when one ignores their coping mechanisms. But Keigo can manage it, like he's always managed it—until he can't anymore. It eventually all comes to a head not long after the merger with the Meta Liberation Army. He's trying to preen his feathers, a habit the Commission discourages even though it's something he needs to do, when he starts slipping. His fingers fumble and become clumsy as his mind fogs over during the one peaceful moment he's had in what feels like ages. He's tangling and tugging at his feathers and it hurts but at least it's something. And then there's a voice, gentle in his ear and immediately he registers who it is: Twice. The Here, let me help. Show me how I can help. comes so naturally from someone who is supposed to be a villain but for all the world sounds a hero that Keigo can't stop the tears from finally spilling over.

Somehow, Jin gets him settled until he's only making the occasional watery hiccup into his shoulder, belatedly realizing he's been pulled into his lap and is being rocked. Keigo also realizes that he feels the safest he's felt in years—maybe the safest he's felt in his entire life, which is a bit alarming. And as he clutches at Jin's jumpsuit, Jin understands that he's got a baby bird on his hands. There's a lot of mutual trust and understanding that suddenly washes over them both, having been built around their friendship from the past few months without them knowing. So it feels almost too natural as Jin picks him up and takes him back to his room for a soft movie night. He wipes away the tears and wraps Keigo in a couple of super plush throw blankets before getting the movie going; he's never been more thankful for the nicer accommodations that the MLA provided until now.

Keigo doesn't know how much time he stays small for exactly, but given that he put it off for so long, it's not unreasonable that he stays small for a couple of days. And while his worry might have otherwise seeped into his regressed headspace and caused a lot of undue stress for the poor baby bird, Jin takes care of everything—at least on the PLF end of things. He isn't disturbed over the next day and a half, being explained away as having come down with a stomach bug. No one argues with Jin over the position of keeping an eye on the "sick" hero either. And the entire time he's small, Jin dotes on him as if he were sick—or maybe not sick, he realizes. No, he's just treating Keigo as little as he feels. Helping him with every small thing, like spoon-feeding him his meals or changing his clothes, checking in with him as he takes care of him. Is this okay, bubba? Let me help you. Always always wanting to help.

When he does manage to come back up it's a slow process. He starts middlespacing hard around the time that Jin is changing him, and suddenly feels self-conscious. How can he not, when his every action has always been up for scrutiny? But everything is still too much for him even as he's occupying that space between little and big. Tears heating his eyes and hiccups bubbling out of his throat as he tries to push Jin away, his I do it, I do it! coming out a little scratchy since he hasn't used his voice much beyond the occasional coo while he was small. It's a sad sight, and though Jin can tell it's coming from a place of embarrassment he allows Keigo the space he needs to try and come back up even if he may not be entirely ready. Both physically in the moment, and time wise in order to sort his thoughts and feelings out. Though he does make sure to let him know that he doesn't think any differently or negatively about him, promising that no one else knows and that he doesn't plan on telling them either. He's also sure to let him know that he didn't mind taking care of him; Jin knows all too well what it's like to feel like a burden and doesn't want Keigo thinking that way of himself.

As soon as his baby brain catches up a few days later and recognizes that Jin is willing to be his big brother it's all over. Keigo has always had a good grasp on his headspace, but now the second Jin starts joking on this side of silly, he's a giggly mess. He finds himself shadowing after him too instead of the other way around, as it often had been before. Jin gives him the caring sort of attention he's never had and suddenly Keigo wants. Wants wants wants. It doesn't get any easier to deny that want as time progresses either. Suddenly he has stuffies, and bottles, and blankets—again, all the things he's never really had but always wanted, all of them being gifts from Jin. It's almost too much for him at times, but there's no denying the happy little flutter of his wings when he's with Jin and allowed to simply exist with no pressure. And while it both helps and complicates his mission, he knows that no matter what happens that he'll have him by his side.

[sanghyukstattoos]

Mafia!SF9's reaction: dying (?) when saving

A/N: Amazing huh, as always, thank you for this request

Read more here~~

Youngbin:

You and him trained at the same time as one another, displaying hardiness, endurance, team work, sacrifice and other traits judged to be essential for leadership

You spared on many occasions but never spoke apart from giving each other feedback and honest criticism

Such a good pairing that your superiors considered letting you two work together but the plan never made it through, they had already had other plans for you

Far into the future, the two of you have already settled into leading your groups when you stumble onto Youngbin in a civilian area

You have been living there for quite some time, having shifted only recently but Youngbin's apparently been here to for some weeks and to trail someone.

You meet him in an open store, lined with books, magazines for travel and snacks, in the dead heat of the summer and the owner moving around.

The next time you meet him, he accidentally bumps into your shoulder sending your stuff to the ground which when you pick up, he uses one to disarm the person who is following him

Moments later, you trace back your steps to find your missing item and out of pure curiosity do you find yourself witnessing the mysterious figure about to commit a violent action.

Youngbin has this look on his face, alerting you that he is not the same, scared and ready-to-plead person that he used to be at the academy

When you save him, the both of you fend off the attacker and send him packing to your superiors, in turn you receive benefits for his hard work and your last minute effort to save him

He takes you to this place he found out about earlier, it's completely nature, untouched by humans because of how it is sealed from the outside world, people are only allowed to marvel at it. He shows it to you as a sign of his gratitude.

Inseong:

Initially the person that none of your superiors thought would not make the cut but his display of determination, endurance to grow and willingness to change to be the best changed their mind which is why he eventually joins your team.

His readiness to ease tough situations and have fun with others makes him the perfect candidate to be a friend with, he's not the type to easily give comfort though.

This is because he's a kind soul but doesn't necessarily know how to properly express it which is why the members go with him to have fun because he knows how to lift a mood.

His advice is all hay-wire with random mumbles but his actions dictate what he's been trying to say all this time.

Secretly vibes to girl group songs during your breaks, what a guy~

When he's in danger, he reacts quickly because he's trained too but the individuals agility and strength throws him off, along with other people that have ganged up on him.

He keeps his cool, fighting with the agenda to get out of this place as quickly as possible and he almost succeeds, if he isn't brutally dragged back inside.

You and the rest of you team members help him and take what you need

He's injured, not life-threatening and you are impressed, he thanks you as he sits on the hospital bed but you reject his thanks by saying that it was all him, he managed to save himself all the way.

Jaeyoon:

Unsure of what he's supposed to do at first, you have to delegate tasks, responsibilities and he messes up but he is good at adapting to situations so he's quick on his feet and is able to think of solutions.

This makes him reliable and dependable since he is also great at comforting the others, his sweet nature allows people to easily warm up to him and share their troubles. A great listener and excellent contributor to the team, you appreciate him a lot because of it

A team player so his lack of ambition thwarts his concern for the members, he is completely fine with unsuccessfully completing a mission as long as the members are safe. Unlike the other SF9 members, he sees it as two options and will choose either one whereas the others will try and achieve both.

Supposed to meet the escape team on the other side, an external factor causes you to stay behind with him although he insists that he will be fine, you know that he fears the idea of being solitary.

He makes jokes to lighten the atmosphere and when it is time to move, he follows your orders as he has always trusted your instincts as team leader

He is immediately the best the person to be stuck with because of his variety of specialised skills that will contribute to any situation.

When you save him, he does the same for you too, not out of favour but as a responsibility that the two of you have to look out for one another as team members and also because of the situation you are in.

He'll show you physical affections as a way of saying sorry that he was not careful enough and that you could have almost died as you saved him, an example would be a short hug and when you are running, he'll hold your hand and tug your along

Dawon I Lee Sanghyuk:

He was the last person to join the group and although shy at first, he's grateful for the others since they managed to bring him out of his shell

Is playful and teasing when off duty and makes it a point to tease you, is the main reason why the trauma is less significant as a group, responsibility may be equally divided but his light-hearted spirit ensures that you can complete the mission with the same characteristic.

Is very serious during missions and his ability to lead the team through tough situations- with his instillation of hope and strategical tactics, is the reason why you would choose him to be the leader in your place.

One thing that unnerves you about him is how he falters when he's shocked, he stills when on a mission but the dangerous environment leaves him at great risk.

You realise it's full play when you're tipped off and send Sanghyuk alone to the hotel room but he freezes upon seeing the long-past wounded individual, despite your team's best efforts to bring him out of his trance-like state, nothing changes.

That's when you run up flights of stairs to save him, you get there moments before he's about to pass away from strangulation as the stranger behind him makes extreme effort to achieve his goal of secrecy.

After that, you make sure to train his response by sending to training lessons again but this time, his heart rate is going to be normal no matter who or what he encounters.

Rowoon:

Your personal assistant, can and will fight if and when required.

Very talented in the field but switched to assisting after a traumatic event with his previous group, they all survived but he could not compartmentalise what had happened so he left

Praised for his immense talent and often had the responsibilities of scouring targets and/or engaging with them in order to gather information

Is actually much more awkward than his first impression, mainly because everyone's first impression of him is based off his looks

His persuasiveness helped him encounter and secure targets making him ideal

Is the cook of the group when they were stuck somewhere, did it automatically and was not afraid to put anyone in their place if a fight broke out but never mixed the two

Spoke to his members and confided in their worries so that by soothing theirs, he would also soothe his.

Was ambitious to complete missions, looks out for himself a little more than he does for others which his superiors like and encourage but you have mixed feelings about it.

When you save him, he reconsiders his priorities during missions but you know that he had every right to look out for himself in a situation as dangerous as this so he has no obligation to change.

Is visibly shaken even after, you can see the fear in his eyes hidden with the idea that he is still alive and won't be encountering these situations as easily because of his current job as your assistant.

Is reprimanded and almost suspended by your superiors because had he almost failed his job, neither of you would be alive, strives to change after that

Zuho:

Reliable as a team member but insists that he should work alone and after convincing your superiors, they allow him to work in a remote, rural part of a country.

Your team is also stationed there but is working on a different mission, you knew that there would someone working alone towards one goal that your superiors need to achieve

You bought up the obvious considerable risks associated with a mission assigned in such a way, including whether the individual would pull through with their results

You choose not to doubt though, meeting him just before the dense forests that have been reconstructed to accommodate the growing population

He's immediately more interested in the suffering of the animals, telling you that they don't have sufficient water, food and space to live and you nod, preoccupied.

You ask him to take a look and he has to put this little animal that he's petting for the last twenty-five minutes down to start concentrating when he sees the absolute chaos

Fights with vengeance, he's angry that they have taken away the animal's nature and you sigh when you have to save him

He's overwhelmed with pain, the struggle of fighting multiple figures and not running into some big cat to become it's next meal

You help, are also wounded in the process so he helps you patch it up and carries your limping self to the medics. Comes back to check up on you and give his thanks.

You get just a little bit closer and from then on, it's just luck whether he's assigned to your team or not

Yoo Taeyang:

He's capable, tolerant of other people and does not easily lose his temper as compared to the initial reviews you received from his pervious superiors. However, he does easily misunderstand.

That is why he sometimes look as if he is forever annoyed with his furrowed eyebrows or pursed lips

Fun-loving guy, somewhat introverted so it takes time for him to get to properly know the team. Is also objective to your leadership even if everyone else seems to follow along exactly what you say and this is something you appreciate because you like the engagement.

When he trusts you enough, he won't question your orders but will ask for elaboration if any is needed, also the person you ask to sum up everything you have said, his memory is amazing like that

He's got exceptional fighting skills and the talent to predict the opponent's moves, was the same reason he earned a promotion despite his slight inability to work with others.

Very rarely comes to you with problems, often comes when he has the solution as well, similar to a report

Never lies so you can expect to hear the only and complete truth from him, says things as they are not as they should be so is reliable and dependant.

Usually the two of you spar, so if the opportunity arises in the field, you are able to fight together and once, you prevent his torso from being slashed.

He is surprised but quickly recovers and expresses his gratitude after it.

It's just work after all

Hwiyoung I Kim Youngkyun:

Puts in that little extra effort to make sure that the team's spirit is uplifted, like the the mood maker

Is easy to speak too and seek comfort from, when you were just a new group and you told him the truth about how you felt being the leader, he gave you some advice but feeling that it may have been too much, he ended it with, ''Just go for it.''.

A real sweet guy, for example, opens the door and lets people by, basically operates by the principle that you should people how you want to be treated, also goes for showing care or displaying kindness.

He's wounded in the leg, he's clutching it to try and stop the bleeding but he's down, the pain is so overwhelming that he's thinking how anyone could get up and run away and for a second, he even contemplates that this could be the end.

It's when you save him from the situation, let him lean on you till you find the medics, stay with him in the hospital and check up on him that he's going to put in all the effort he can to watch your back.

You tell to ease up and that's it is no big deal, because in line with his personality, you know that he would do the same

The two of you grow much, much closer after that

He no longer feels awkward to confide in his team leader and that's how you spend the end of your mission together after he almost dies, drinking beer and watching the stars in the night

Chani:

Chani panics, freezes as a result of the fear that had almost instigated his worst nightmares.

He's close to breaking down but rather than something simple like a single emotion or characteristics, he is conflicted. He knows that you are safe but his mind can not comprehend what you just did for him.

He's thinking that the your actions are multiple, behaviour complex, feeling safe amongst the unsafe environment because he knows that he can go home.

He's in shock, he's laying on the ground, kicked there, propping himself on his elbows after experiencing such massive fear that he would die.

You walk towards him, he wants to cry, for you to comfort him and tell him that you've got him but he doesn't say anything, he keeps this guard that when he stops along the way, he holds your hand and tells you thank you.

''There's nothing- I mean, I don't... What just happened was, thank you'' he says, fumbling for the correct words, wanting to attribute the success of his living to you.

But that was when he was a novice and you were teaching him the tricks of the trade.

Now he is much more confident, he knows how to compartmentalise and is frequently remarked as one of the best soldiers on and off duty.

He even saves you once, save is a stretch because he played a part and when you thanked him, he said that it was nothing compared to what you once did.

He was so cool about it that you teased him all the way till you dropped him to his house.

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

HELLO sorry i had an extremely busy past week so i left this to stew for weeks T_T (my term break was Not a term break in any sense of the word. f)

OH OF COURSE SHE HAS A BLACKLIST.... vietnam keeping a list of students who are Brats is really so valid.. i'm willing to bet that in future when that dubious list of students grows up many of them will go on to commit morally dubious acts lmaoo including yao himself. and if they get arrested or if rumors spread she'll just be like "lol called it"

Also yes go get her friendship Aditya hopefully it will mellow you out a little as well - YEAHH their personalities are like. polar opposites tbh because he's Dramatic And Extroverted and she's very much Not... but for some reason i can just see them really bonding (over things like coffee if i had to make a guess though i haven't really thought about these two in depth.. )

“Admissions officers think Yao’s amazing and contributes greatly to the classroom environment and Vietnam is like “yeah, in a way, as long as you don’t mind someone who thinks every word you say is somehow wrong and will fight you to prove it lol. just take him, I’m trying to get rid of him”

JUST TAKE HIM I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF HIM THIS IS SO FUNNY WTF also aww baby yao's Going Places!! he comes back for like teacher's day or something and vietnam is like "okay so how many of your teachers and your classmates have you antagonised" and yao's like "my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)" and vietnam is like ugh love to see that you're terrible as usual

Since there’s essays involved I’m assuming she teaches either history or literature? Kinda on the fence because I feel like she’d be good at giving a no-nonsense version of history filled with interesting details and prompts that make you think (and also hosts monthly debates on controversial issues), but I also want Yao to be as un-confident as possible in his abilities in her class, and I feel like he would be less comfortable/sure of his answers and thoughts in a lit class than a history one. I’m not sure though

honestly i would really want her to teach lit so bad but history would be so cool too.. as someone who suffered through lit for the first month of school (though i think i'm getting the hang of it now :D) i also want yao to suffer through the feelings of inadequacy when the teacher gives an evaluation that is COMPLETELY different from yours while also awkwardly trying to tell you your evaluation is wrong without crushing your ~passion for learning~ or something... but at the same time vietnam has such strong history vibes??? and they would probably clash over like different methods of historiography and methods for interpreting sources BUT historiography isn't really taught in-depth here at high scholl level ... And at the same time lit is the best place for one to feel Insecure so i really don't know because vietnam has such History/art vibes.. i think you should decide this i have no idea 😔

Context

“she'll just be like "lol called it"” that’s such a mood honestly, watching your former bratty students grow up to be bratty adults 😅 At least Vietnam’s predictions for the future are vindicated and she gets self satisfaction from it lol. (maybe she sends emails to them sometimes like ‘are you aware that people think you committed tax fraud’ and the reply is just a simple ‘yes. sincerely, Yao’ lmao)

ooh yeah I think they’d be interesting; definitely agree with what you said about India being really flamboyant and Vietnam being more honest/down to earth and definitely someone who hates when people put on airs (which Aditya does to a fairly large extent...). I think she’d like him just a tad more because he isn’t super condescending and gets along with his classmates pretty well; she knows he’s trying to impress her (lollolll they’re all trying to get teacher points for recommendations) but at least he’s friendly and participates in class and stuff. Also I think India’s good at small talk, makes an effort in getting to know people, and is very emotionally in tune with other’s feelings (even if he’s a bit stupid/oblivious sometimes) so even if Vietnam is kinda closed off to him at first (she’s nicer to him than Yao though, that’s for sure) he can get along with her quickly by picking up on what she likes talking about and accommodating her interests. Yao could theoretically be charming like Aditya but he just doesn’t make an effort lol. YES to bonding over coffee, especially raging about how Starbucks is Inferior™™™™ (idk if Aditya would drink coffee but I think Vietnam brews her own Vietnamese iced coffee at home and bring it to class because she needs Fortification for putting up with Indchuran lol.) However, I also want to see her popping his bubble and whenever he’s exaggerating one of his accomplishments, Vietnam just shuts him right down. “No, he actually didn’t go all out; I’ve had students turn in whole ass dioramas for that project so your meager offerings are nothing special :}” (Vietnam has the pleasure of crushing each of their egos in turn hehehe)

Yao came back to visit her!!! Looks like someone caught feelings (platonically ofc) :) She sees right through his excuses for coming back and is like “haha bastard you got sentimental and Attached to me >:)”, but then Yao proceeds to remind her exactly why that’s a bad thing lmao (also... what if... we smashed this au and bros for life together.... and Vietnam is the first person to see that they’re hopelessly pining on one of their visits to see her..........and she calls them out on it....o-o)

“"my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)"” LOVE TO SEE YOU’RE TERRIBLE AS USUAL ALDSjSDLSD Yao dashed my hopes of him becoming somewhat of a model member of society but seeing him as an unchanging bastard is still quite alright. Headcanon that Yao really hates helping with homework though, because he’s like “WHY DON’T YOU GET THIS” after about 5 seconds of trying to explain something. Pity, he would be good at teaching if only he had the patience for it :} Also I propose that he really hates that teaching isn’t enjoyable for him because it would be great blackmail material (i.e. “if you do this to me I’ll stop giving you the answers to the problem sets *winks in a threatening manner*”)

SAME literature is the one class that makes you thoroughly question your comprehension and understanding of everything in life everything ever written, but HISTORY. she would be such a fun history teacher and I can see her having her students really dig into events for themselves and make their own evaluations of why things happened and who’s “right”. YES THEM CLASHING OVER HISTORIOGRAPHY hmm... maybe we could get around historiography not being covered much by having Yao be Extra™? For example, maybe one day Vietnam offhandedly mentions there’s a lot of interpretations around x period (and whether it was a success or failure) depending on which type of historiography you subscribe to; Yao, who was already feeling strongly on the subject, does some research (“what is historiography” “interpretations of x” *rabbit hole of articles ensues*) and then goes to class the next day armed with 10 sources and a full on debate about the subject ensues, resulting in him being late to lunch by half an hour. 

What about a compromise, where Yao has a ferocious literature teacher (who??? idk) but Vietnam is teaching history, and when he gets comfortable in her class he starts complaining about the lit teacher and she thinks oh finally, a teacher that he’s intimidated by. I am at peace now. 😌. 

[zoe-oneesama]

I'm sorry if this seems rude, but your treatment of Alya makes me very uncomfortable. This isn't something you're entirely to blame for, as a good chunk of the fandom treats her very poorly (with either ignoring her or reducing her role to "ships the lovesquare"), but the amount of comics and posts you've made about punishing Alya feels a little extreme to me at this point. I understand the salt after chameleon, but everyone was ooc in that ep. Also it's been over a month. (1/2)

I will start by saying thank you for coming to me with your complaints in honestly the nicest way you possibly could, I really appreciate you taking a very calm and critical tone in approaching me with a genuine concern.

I will also point out I can’t think of any comics I’ve made attacking Alya or punishing her, so I’m not sure what you mean by that, but maybe I’ve re blogged someone else’s comic and it’s not coming to mind right now. But I also try hard to tag stuff so people can block the rants they don’t want to see. I guess the probelm is I use the #alya salt tag instead of #anti alya.

And I can agree that Alya’s characterization has gotten out of hand in the fanon vs canon, particularly when we had that long hiatus so fanon Alya bled into the consciousness and confused what actually is canon Alya.

However I won’t apologize for being critical of Alya. I will try to explain my own reasoning for you though so maybe you can understand where I’m coming from. 

My two main criticisms of Alya are 1) She’s not a good journalist and 2) She disregards Marinette’s feelings even though she’s her best friend.

The Good Journalist is something that I personally think is a fanon idea. Her being an ethical, searches only for the truth reporter who has integrity about the facts came from the hiatus, and my position on this is supported in canon.

When Marinette’s identity, the secret she holds most dear, is in jeopardy, because it’s Alya who is making the claim, she is unconcerned. If Alya was a threat to her identity (i.e. someone who often had evidence to support their claims) she would be worried, but instead she brushes it off. Like it’s not the first time Alya’s pitched a theory from left field at her. Even Nino laughs right in her face.

Volpina backs this up with her posting an unverified video of Lila claiming to be best friends with Ladybug without getting any sources or evidence that it could be true. In doing this, not only is she reducing her blog to a gossip column, but she is directly endangering this girl by blasting her relationship with a Superhero where anyone could see it. Because her scoop is more important that truth.

There’s also her crusade to find out Ladybug’s secret identity, something that, having established she’s a huge superhero comic fan, she should know the repercussions of. Endangerment of self, friends, and family in the face of a very dangerous super villain. It continues to prove where Alya’s priorities are.

But I actually want to make something clear: Being a bad journalist is not something I hate Alya for. She’s a young, immature girl. She’s wrapped in the excitement of magic and superheroes and is riding the hype to it’s conclusion. It’s partially Ladybug’s fault for indulging in Alya and being biased towards her friend that Alya has the platform she has and the belief in her abilities. And Alya does put a lot of hard work into her journalism, she just needs to do more growing and get a better understanding of what ethical journalism is.

I’m just critical of it because of the fanon warping her into this amazing journalist when she’s just a kid with no self preservation and tenacity. 

The Bad Friend thing is what imagine you mostly came here for. And I want to make it clear here as well: I don’t think Alya is a terrible friend. Most of the time I don’t think she’s even a bad friend. But what happened in Volpina, Heroes Day, and Chameleon hit me in a bad way.

In Volpina, we see Marinette express concern about Lila hanging over Adrien and Alya dismisses her to gush over her blog.

I didn’t have a problem with this when it first came out. Marinette knows Lila is a liar only because she is Ladybug and so she knows Lila is lying in her interview. Marinette has a problem with liars AND a jealousy problem that has gone unchecked by Volpina. But from Alya’s perspective, Marinette is being unreasonably possessive and is prone to over reacting. She has no obligation to interfere with Adrien and Lila just because Marinette is feeling territorial.

This only becomes an issue in addition to the other two episodes. 

In Heroes Day we get this gem of a line, which is really irritating, esPECIALLY because as a series finale it had to come after Frozer, which proved that Marinette has made great strides in overcoming her jealousy. As her best friend, Alya should be giving Marinette the benefit of the doubt, not Lila. But instead, she doesn’t ask what Marinette’s problem is with Lila she just assumes it without opening discussion about what could be bothering her usually kind and accommodating best friend. Compound it with her dismissal of Marinette in Volpina, and I’m beginning to get weary. 

But then Chameleon. Ooooooh Chameleon. Let me count the ways Alya specifically failed as a friend:

1) Kicked Marinette out if her seat without asking

2) Replaced Marinette as her seatmate with her boyfriend without asking

3) Pushing Marinette to the back row seat alone without asking

4) When Marinette claims Lila is lying, Alya asks for Marinette to prove Lila isn’t telling the truth instead of investigating if Lila is telling the truth.

5) Pulls that not apology apology that puts the blame on Marinette for getting upset about the situation. 

(gif by @oui-ladybug)

That last on is subject to interpretation, but look at it closely, There’s no “I’m sorry for putting you in that situation without your consent.” No “I’m sorry for not taking your feelings into account.” 

This throw away line is like someone saying “I’m sorry YOU got upset.” Like you overreacted. Like it’s your fault you got hurt.

You may say I’m reaching, and I’ll admit my interpretation is probably not a universal one. I’ve made no secret of it in past posts. I have a personal issue with how Alya acts in regard to Marinette’s feelings. 

I had a best friend from the age of 5 to 20. Looking back I can find a lot of flaws in our friendship but at the time I thought it was great, mutually supportive and filled with love. Until she started dating. She had a boyfriend her last two years of high school and up to around the time we stopped being friends. She was attached at the hip to him, spending all her free time with him instead of me and bringing him to outings with us without asking me first. I tried to hide my discomfort because I had already almost lost her friendship by throwing up a fuss over her dating him - because he was my ex (first!) boyfriend. But I put my feelings aside because she was really into him and I valued our friendship more than this dumb guy. But apparently I was the only one.

Things went downhill fast when we graduated high school. She and her boyfriend stayed at home and went to a local college (no shame there) and I went to a university 3 hours away. We weren’t going to see each other near as often obviously, but we had always been very good at texting and calling each other so I wasn’t worried. But she didn’t text me anymore. She never called. All contact I had to initiate first. She never made the drive up to see me unless she needed something (she stayed at my place when she wanted to go to the Renaissance Fair nearby my college). 

But what hurt most is when I would drive down to see her. I’d drive the three hours, having made plans weeks in advance to make sure it worked around our schedules, only for her to cancel last minute on me. Because she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend instead. The same boyfriend she saw LITERALLY everyday. And it happened multiple times.

She didn’t care what I did for her. She didn’t respect my time or effort or feelings. She assumed I’d be fine with it. She assumed I wouldn’t mind or if I did I’d “get over it” like I always do (get over it as in grin and bear it). She made decisions for me and without regard to what I thought. She just wanted a cardboard cutout to call Best Friend without actually putting in any of the work.

There are plenty of other things that started to bother me about our friendship, but because this is what ultimately ended it it’s what bothers me the most. So I take personal offense with Alya making assumptions about Marinette’s feelings and justifications without asking. I have issues with Alya making decisions for Marinette without asking. And I especially have issues with Alya choosing her boyfriend over her best friend because that hits me personally.

I know Chameleon was OOc for the characters…for MOST of the characters. But Alya? This has been building up. It’s not the first time. It’s just the most egregious time.

And a bonus it’s really annoying that Alya assumes Marinette is crazy jealous when a few of Marinette’s craziest moments are a result of Alya’s insistence or pushing OR Alya tries to steer her away from making mature decisions.

Marinette stealing Adrien’s phone?

Marinette making an elaborate scheme to separate Adrien from his bodyguard to go on a date with him?

Marinette tries to be realistic and help Adrien on his date while simultaneously letting him go?

Alya was one of those cases where one event made me think back really hard about her role as Marinette’s best friend and just what kind of hand she’s had in shaping Marinette’s behavior, and honestly? She’s not the amazing friend I remembered her as in Season 1. Which sucks! Because I lOVEd Alya. A sassy mom friend who takes no shit and gets shit done? A gorgeous POC that pushed her friend to make things happen for herself?! Yes please!

So I still hate on Chameleon, not just for the episode, but for the wakeup call I DIDN’t ask for!!

p.s. the reason I’m still salting on it is because the episode totally failed to resolve Alya’s issues in this episode. i.e. being a hypocrite.

[40sandfabulousaf]

Do any of you get heat rash when it's really warm and you sweat buckets? I experience these sometimes and decided to share them rather than wait till the red splotches subside to take photos. After all, it's a normal occurrence for me sporadically, especially on mega-hot days.

If you're looking for an escape from unrealistic beauty standards, then my unglam, unretouched photos are hopefully a breath of fresh air from the perfectly filtered ones that many social media accounts offer. I'm your average everyday woman and, like some of you, don't have the time - and, also, can't be arsed - to spend obsessing over creating an image of smooth-skinned perfection.

I get that many influencers feel compelled to do this; it's their livelihood after all and I respect all the time and effort they spend creating magical content. However, just because they do so and I follow them or check out their grids from time to time doesn't necessarily mean I'll do the same. Joining in the fun from time to time and wearing similar stuff to show support is enough for me.

We're all unique and have differing priorities, as well as time constraints. When there're precious extra minutes to spare, I always have more fun engaged in exercise-related pursuits than anything to do with... I dunno, nails for example. And when things get rough, I can give up many things except being active.

2020 has seen a surge in people participating in various types of fitness. It's delightful to see the smiles on their faces as they grasp the concept that exercise does not have to be - and is absolutely not - punishment, when they're doing what they like instead of what hardcore gym rats and gym bunnies are doing.

I don't share much about my routine here simply because it's my belief that everyone has their own way of gaining strength and stamina. Nobody needs to do what I do to derive similar benefits from exercise. However, I do like the thought of you getting to know what I personally find inspiring.

This hasn't changed since childhood. From youth, kungfu movies and TV series were staples. I developed a fascination for Shaolin martial arts. Centuries ago, gyms were unheard of. Did you know that daily chores can help us get strong? You're about to find out.

Let's see the arrogant swole bros do half the things these monks do 😜 My point is, some people can choose to be jerks to others who don't do heavy-lifting, but just wait till these very same folks are challenged to do something outside of their comfort zone. Hopefully they enjoy their serving of humble pie.

Okay the Shaolin monks are men. You wanna see women, right? Imma go with the Chinese because nobody does Shaolin like our kind #notsorry

Aesthetic perfection is never the goal in these videos - only total dedication to their passion and it's what I look for in the curvy babes I share (although they do look bloody hot at the same time).

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A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Feb 21, 2020 at 6:57am PST

When you like the form of exercise you choose, you'll naturally want to keep at it. Like the Shaolin dudes and dudettes, my focus isn't on how cute an outfit is, hence the often mismatched pieces in my photos. I get most of my stuff from the sale section at... anywhere 😆

However, I understand that trendy fitness apparel in breathable and supportive quality fabrics is a good motivator for many to get active, especially in this social media era. So go for it! Brands are expanding their ranges to accommodate more sizes, which is great news for anyone who wants to feel cute whilst working out.

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A post shared by STEPHANIE (@bellabombshel) on Feb 20, 2020 at 6:52pm PST

When it comes to fitness, being consistent is key. The secret to that is finding that/those activity/activities that are so fun, you don't think twice about prioritising it/them in your life. Stephanie perfectly illustrates this with her phenomenal dance routines. I respect her dedication, as well as the finesse in her movements.

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A post shared by Abra | Nutrition + Wellness (@abrapappa) on Feb 12, 2020 at 10:22am PST

For those who're mentally prepared to give exercise a go, Abra gives some helpful tips for beginners and the mindset change that helped her along the way. This post is educational because, too often, trainers forget what it was like when they started at the very beginning.

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A post shared by Becca Marie (@enjoyfoodnaked) on Jan 24, 2020 at 1:33pm PST

Not at all horribly formed, just a modified yoga pose. Becca may be self-deprecating here and humility is definitely an underrated virtue. My hope is for anyone out there to realise that to many of us who don't practise yoga, what is a modified pose to you looks bloody fantastic to us.

I'll tell you what I see here: bloody awesome arm strength. Bloody awesome balance. Bloody awesome coordination. Okay? Okay 👌

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A post shared by Whitney Way Thore⚡️ (@whitneywaythore) on Feb 8, 2020 at 4:15pm PST

More dance because...

Me likey likey! 😃

And remember this: there will be people who try to put you down. I've had to block 1 or 2 jerks in the beginning who asked to see my arm strength and insisted even though I told them I have a permanent spine injury from an auto accident! Those were swole bros, by the way. Hopefully they get their asses kicked by a Shaolin monk 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

What I hope you take away from this post is, we can all be champions at our chosen exercises. The Olympics isn't just about heavy lifting, you know? Once we find what it is our bodies are capable of doing and we love it, we WILL derive the benefits from being active. So let these curvy babes be your inspiration. They are absofabulous!

Till the next post, stay sweet!