#being hypersexual also messed with this acceptance

[atlas-dr0wned]

i came out to one of my irls as ace today (i posted about it on twitter but she didn’t see it) and it felt so nice explaining things. like for so long sex has been a Weird thing for me, for so many reasons, but now i have a word that starts the conversation whilst leaving room for my individual experience. it’s really nice :]

[lemonberry-soda]

Do you ever think about the fact that Ted is hypersexual due to his childhood/teenage traumas or is that just me?

Like not only did he associate losing his first love forever with not being douchebaggy enough, but he also experienced the Lumber Axe and survived. With how quickly Peter was about to be murdered for looking at Ted’s old magazine you KNOW Ted probably had to deal with narrow escape after narrow escape himself. Ted literally suppresses the memory of the Lumber Axe entirely until bringing Peter to camp reminds him, and he doesn’t even take Peter with him as he runs away. He is FUcked up.

My guy went for the cat lady who cut off his fingers because sex is inherently dangerous to him in his mind. He goes for the worst options on purpose because sex isn’t safe unless there’s risk, and he goes for the best options just to lose them on purpose so they don't leave him first, as many times as possible until he's single and lonely at the wedding reception. He’s a sleazeball as a coping mechanism, and he keeps dying for it. One single safe relationship would decimate this dude, and it also wouldn’t fix him. Therapy would do wonders if he actually accepted how messed up he is. And tbh, if TInky wasn’t around there might’ve been a chance for him to recover.

Anyway another reason this dweeb is doomed by the narrative and fucked up beyond belief

[initiumseries]

If you had to pick between spuffy and cangel, which one do you find more interesting? And why?

I'm gonna preface this with, I don't think either of them are particularly interesting. That's a large part of why I don't like these ships lol. My dislike of these ships has less to do with personal taste, and more to do with the obliteration of their characters and the overarching story integrity to make them happen. An example of this is, when I saw TVD was moving toward delena, I hated the idea of breaking Elena and Stefan up, especially when it felt like they'd barely been together and I gad serious problems with how damon consistently and without repercussions, violated obvious boundaries of everyone around him but especially Stefan and Elena. That was a personal issue for me, but I was also curious to see how they'd handle the story. I'd said this to Zal at the time, but I was prepared to be on board a delena ship if it meant the show taking an interesting character/story turn. If we actually got to see that darker turn in Elena, the fallout of her choices, and how being with damon messed with her morality, perceptions, isolated her from her friends etc, I would've liked to see that story progression and character arc, even if it meant the (temporary) end of a ship I liked. When that didn't happen, and the story rapidly deteriorated, I resented the ship because it essentially ruined the show (among other issues) to keep it working.

So to the point of the ask, I don't think that either were particularly interesting, but I will say that Spuffy, for a time, had better execution. I had tired of Spike whining about Buffy, dreaming about Buffy, becoming a pathetic shadow of what made him interesting as a character for Buffy. It sucked. So to see the return of his vigor as a character in this dysfunctional, abusive and hypersexual relationship with Buffy was refreshing. It was also uncomfortable, which its meant to be. Buffy is the white knight. But she died, and was finally at peace and her friends traumatized her by bringing her back, then traumatized her again by abandoning her to dig herself out of her own grave. She was angry, depressed, isolated and she had no one to work her issues out with, and here was Spike, allowing her to revel in the worst parts of herself. Something she never allowed herself before she died. That was interesting. It was moreso, because it was so obvious this wasn't about actual affection. It was clear at the time, Spike didn't love Buffy, he was obsessed with her, and Buffy didn't even like Spike, he was a site for her to work out her pain. That was more interesting to me than anything else, because, again, Buffy's relationships up until then had been about mutual affection, partnership and love, and now she's slumming it and hiding it from all her friends because she's embarrassed. That's good story stuff. Where I jumped off and immediately lost interest is when both Buffy and Spike became OOC-ish just to bring them back together in some weird, pointless amicable companionship thing. Spike assaulted Buffy and then got a soul to punish her for her rejection. Forcing her to not only accept him, but defend him and protect him against her loved ones, then alienate her AGAIN, to bring them back together is cruel, and a betrayal of Buffy as the titular strong female character she was always meant to be. Buffy in any previous season would never have forgiven her attempted rapist, much less stopped GILES from killing him when he was a KNOWN liability and danger to her work. She killed Angel - the love of her life - to save the world, but defends Spike? Makes 0 narrative sense. Spike becomes a sad little bitch because of the soul no one wanted or asked him to get, then just sort of...returns to himself, and shows no remorse, no repentance for what he put Buffy through, and how that affected the group. And suddenly we're all supposed to believe this is...what, love? How? We've SEEN what Spike looks like when he's in love, and this isn't it. So, that's where it becomes uninteresting to me, because in order to make this ship work this way, they have to betray the characters, insult the viewers, and compromise the story. Those are bad narrative choices.

[rappaccini]

been thinking on how peter's had a lot of love interests over the years, but only six of them most consistently stick around and impact his character. and how the big six model works for other spider-love stories too because it's a good round number that allows for love interest variety and a strong romantic character arc without overcrowding.

so peter's big six are as follows:

liz allan: the one-sided superficial first crush on a rich girl with more social capital that ultimately goes nowhere

betty brant: the first girlfriend who is working-class with whom he eventually returns to being just friends, who ends up with his friend

gwen stacy: the first love, who's his intellectual equal in the classroom and of a steady upper-middle-class (law-enforcement) background he aspires to, who dislikes his alter ego, who he can't be honest to, who dies

mj watson: the true love, who's his equal socially, who isn't the steadiest career-wise and had a hard upbringing, who knows and accepts his alter ego, who he ends up with

felicia hardy: the problematic situationship with a vigilante who isn't a good influence on him, who only cares about the alter ego

cindy moon*: the forced spidermarriage with another spider-person the universe insists he's the 'soulmate' of

[*YES, cindy hasn't been shipped with peter since the mess that was her introduction and it'll hopefully stay that way. but she makes the cut because she's a very memorable character with a very distinct dynamic with peter that's being replicated already-- particularly with miles and gwen: "look, male and female spider-people! let's force them to kiss and call them soulmates!"]

if you line them up, there's a narrative that starts to emerge.

they tend to appear in pairs with a class juxtaposition. in high school, peter is strongly driven by a desire for status and money, and his family's financial situation is precarious: he's choosing between rich (liz) or poor (betty). by going to college, he's settled on being middle-class, so while he's there he has to decide between upper-middle-class stability (gwen) or lower-middle-class authenticity and freedom (mj).

[to note: people didn't used to hate love triangles. that's why they're prominent here. and marvel used to let peter grow up, so he actually can have his love interests spread out.]

and once he's postgrad and his financial situation is kind of set, he's tempted by being a hero. felicia and cindy are contrasted with mj, not each other: does he want to use his powers selfishly and be more of an anti-hero (felicia)? does he want to lean into the mystical spiderverse that thinks he's the chosen one (cindy)?

(we know he's going to circle back to mj. aka, he's going to ultimately choose his humanity instead of his spider-powers.)

demographically, they're all white women and one asian woman (... who he has a hypersexual fling with that's immediately demonized, rejected and treated like it was never serious😬). so uh. peter's that kind of guy.

he prefers civilian girlfriends. makes sense given that he has dead gf trauma he doesn't want to repeat that might make watching her get into a fight be a bit too much. he wants his girlfriend away from the fight, somewhere safe, and he views his vigilantism as something he needs to do alone. [also, marvel used to do civilian love interests.]

the progression seems tied to peter’s age: two high school love interests, two college love interests, two postgrad post-divorce get-my-groove-back-fling love interests.

his overall romantic arc seems to be about peter finding someone who can love both sides of him and ground him, and intersects with the class issues his character constantly contends with. he's tempted by wealth and status, and then by stability and approval, or by the special perks of being a superhero, but ultimately he's a family man who wants something grounded and sincere with someone who has her own interests to pursue, the same way he does. ending up with mj goes hand-in-hand with peter figuring out his principles and embracing that he's an underdog.

at any rate, these characters are far from the only girls peter's had tension, relationships or hookups with, but these are the ones who have the most memorable personalities and the most distinct dynamics with him that have lasting impact on his stories.

tied to their staying power, the first five are also the ones who are adapted the most: if you're writing a peter-spider-man story, you're probably choosing his love interest(s) from this list. and the list tends to be condensed down even more from there (how many times have you seen peter's love interests advertised as betty-gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-and-mj?) with each woman standing out and contrasting well against each other.

and the six— not the specific love interests, but their attributes and story functions— should be used more for other spider-people. if nothing else because it means each character can have a convenient shortlist of love interests to reference and return to, instead of a constantly-growing stack of quick relationships that never get to deepen or evolve with characters who become easy to forget.

miles

i mentioned this here, but miles's supporting cast is at its strongest when it creates original characters for him to interact with, fills them with elements of classic spider-man characters and their stories, and remixes those stories in a unique way.

so his love interests, at their best, are original characters whose qualities combine and reimagine the big six's.

for example:

katie bishop: liz allan (superficial interest in the first girl he crushes on in canon) x betty brant (first romance).

lana baumgartner: cindy moon (fellow superhero) x mj watson (dysfunctional family background; from his world)

kamala khan: betty brant (remaining friends) x liz allan (unreciprocated crush) x cindy moon (fellow superhero).

gwen stacy (65): gwen stacy (...) x cindy moon (forced spidermarriage) x liz allan (superficial attraction based on a need to gain status through a relationship with her)

barbara rodriguez: gwen stacy (classmate who's naive to his alter ego) x betty brant (goes on to date his friend).

tiana toomes: felicia hardy (initially problematic vigilante) x mj watson (family complications; the true love who balances him out and completes him).

... though there are six listed, honestly i think miles' love interest roster isn't complete yet, and there are one or two more slots left to fill. i'll circle back to that.

first, some notes of interest:

miles inverts the 2:1 civilian to superhuman ratio of peter's love interests. marvel seems to be moving away from the civilian love interest in general... and miles seems to want a partner who can come with him on adventures. he's a more social hero, and more forward-thinking. he's cool with his girlfriend getting in danger (because he hasn't been traumatized by that yet), and he doesn't like superheroing alone.

he's still in high school, yet has had a lot of love interests, which speaks to how characters age a lot slower than they used to these days... and how miles isn't as much of a loser as peter was at his age. he's less sexist and more social, and therefore he's more successful at getting girlfriends than peter was at his age.

instead of sorting the love interests based on when he met them, sort them based on why he's drawn to them: katie and barbara are his classmates. gwen and kamala are prominent heroes in their own right who he keeps getting pr-relationshipped with. lana and tiana are vigilantes from troubled backgrounds who he can influence for the better. two love interests reflect his civilian side, two reflect the hero he wants to be, two bring out both by helping miles remember why he's a hero in the first place-- because of the person he is under the mask-- and influencing him to stay true to that person.

given how editorial pr-shipping miles with gwen and kamala gives him this tendency to uh. step outside of his committed relationships to chase after the idea of dating the brand-friendly superheroes who give him more clout... miles has a recurring issue with objectifying women and treating them like accessories when he's having a crisis of confidence that he needs to work out.

specifically an issue as it pertains to gwen: all his worst instincts are externalized in how he treats gwen. he keeps ignoring when she tells him to stop flirting with him or that she'd rather be friends, has an extremely superficial interest in her mostly tied to using her as a stepping stone to success, and if they get together, he'd be stopping her from coming out. which means he's either so superficially attracted to her that he doesn't even realize she's queer... or he does know and is willingly keeping her from being her authentic self so he can have her as a trophy gf. either way it's a Bad look and he'll never conquer those flaws unless he fully moves on from her.

he's usually drawn to alternative/punkish, artsy, slightly older girls with chips on their shoulders who are more cynical than he is. he wants to fix them, and he's looking for someone to balance his more optimistic tendencies out.

demographically, miles is into white girls at the start of his arc (or when he's being written poorly), and starts branching out to date poc girls once he gains confidence and has a better understanding of himself. narratively this tracks with his overall arc about breaking away from his need to be like peter and committing to representing and protecting his community over getting white people to like him-- and the best realization of his romance arc that'll support his overall arc would be him ending up with a black girl, which we are hopefully moving towards with tiana.

he hasn't had a fridged/tragic love interest, intellectual equal, or been in a toxic dynamic yet in the comics (i mean. that's basically gwiles but no one will admit it. the confirmed toxic dynamic he's had thus far is in the games with phin mason)... raneem rashad, anyone?

anyway at this point, miles is still in high school and has had plenty of love interests. and he's a young enough character that we're just gonna have to see who lasts as more contenders are introduced.

if i had to guess,

kamala will stick around, but won't consistently be his love interest, and even when she is they won't end up together. she and miles are the two biggest New Generation Legacy Heroes and the pr shipping writes itself. but because she's too big a character in her own right and far from his corner of the marvel universe half the time, she might not be a constant adaptation. she'd either be watered down, or it would pull too much focus to explain her presence unless it's specifically a team-up or group story. and even if she does show up, we know it's a given they won't end up together. it's a solid stepping-stone romance.

gwen should have faded into history as a regrettable one-time thing. but because of spiderverse synergy that won't ever happen and the best we can hope for is a temporary relationship. because she's also got too much going on, has her own world and has Gwen Stacy Baggage attached, she’s too difficult to fit into his stories without completely compromising her character to force her into the girlfriend role. not that marvel has a problem doing that. and like kamala, being his love interest holds her back from being her own protagonist with her own stories. she should hopefully not be a constant adaptation... but the spiderverse movies are going to keep causing versions of them to at least flirt with the idea of a relationship. the horse is out of the barn re: stopping this ship from happening again, but hopefully it'll be reframed as an optional and always-temporary situation that isn't good for either of them. which can work; bad relationships can be good character development if you own that they're bad and let them end. if.

tiana (hopefully!) will stick around and make it to the endgame. she's That Great. she's an original character who won't contradict preexisting variants (unlike gwen or katie). she's too unique to be confused for another character. she's got a memorable design, cool powers, fun personality and great backstory that enhances the overall spider-man canon by making the vulture a more developed villain. and she isn't popular enough to steal his spotlight (kamala) or have better things to do elsewhere (kamala, gwen). not to mention that their relationship is the best miles has ever had. this is the girl he should end up with.

barbara might survive... or we'll just get a series of temporary civilian visions academy gfs in her image (like insomniac's hailey cooper). she's easy to adapt... but also easy to forget. and compared to the competition, we all know he's not gonna end up with her.

lana might last, but if she's readapted, she'll probably change a lot. she could step into katie's role as the initial white visions gf (... maybe the only visions gf; sorry barbara), or kamala's in adaptations where ms marvel being in miles's supporting cast would be too distracting but they still want that superhero-flirtation-to-friendship story. she could even take gwen's role as the white superhero he wants to fix and has a problematic infatuation with. it's a tossup, but lana has the range to participate in a lot of stories, and a compelling powerset and backstory that are worth exploring. another solid stepping-stone girlfriend.

katie's probably going to fade away. she has too little impact and is too easy to confuse with kate bishop, hawkeye, to be easily adaptable. no big loss.

... and we're probably due one more major love interest category to take the space katie's going to leave: a tragically villainous tech-powered girl of color, like phin mason or raneem rashad. (... or margo kess, minus the tragic villainy)

it's too early for miles's love interests to scale down from big six to a big four, three or two. the general progression seems to be white girl -> non-black poc girl -> black girl, and civilian gf -> hero gf -> troubled vigilante who becomes a superhero after falling for him. we'll just have to see who it ends up being.

(personally i'm rooting for kamala / lana / tiana to take the big three. realistically it'll be kamala / gwen / hopefully tiana.)

hopefully canon starts to standardize his love interests soon. because if he keeps getting new ones, all of them become easier to forget, and the worst relationship with the best exposure, gwiles, will rise to the top simply because she's the one that made it to the movies, which would be terrible for them both.

as for gwen...

even more complicated.

her character's even newer than miles's, and her romantic history is largely defined by having other people (men. and em jay.) push their desires on her, rather than gwen exploring her own. she's had a lot of false starts, and a lot of obviously queer tension with other women that marvel refuses to act on, but canonically she's barely dated at all and isn't motivated by romance.

gwen also sits between peter and miles in terms of love interest originality: it makes sense for gwen to initially interact with alternate versions of peter's supporting cast, because that's gwen's supporting cast too... but like miles, she should still have unique dynamics with those characters because she's not peter. and since she's gwen-65, she should eventually branch out to relationships with characters on earth-65 that 616-gwen never would have met or gotten close to.

so no, gwen should not end up with earth-65's em jay ~because every spider has their mj~. that idea implies that mj is drawn to peter's spider-powers instead of peter as a person, and that she'd have fallen for anyone who had them. it invalidates the uniqueness of peter and mj's romance by turning mj into a spider-groupie, and of gwen-65 herself (and any spider-person you're trying to shove an mj at to check a box). gwen deserves a love story that's totally new and all hers. no peter, no miles, no alternate version of a peter/miles love interest. give her someone new.

anyway so far i think we can make a case for maybe three or four of hers.

peter parker*: liz allan x gwen stacy. except in this case, he's the one with the superficial one-sided crush on her and he's the one who ends up dead.

miles morales (1610)*: cindy moon, the forced divine spidermarriage. with a bit of liz allan, for the superficiality of it all. (... and felicia, for the toxicity no one will talk about)

harry osborn: primarily betty brant (the high school sweetheart she never got to have who ultimately stays friends with her), with elements of felicia (a former vigilante) and mj (understands and accepts the alter ego)

em jay watson: yes she's an mj, but honestly? she's the gwen stacy (the first love out of high school in the same career path who hates gwen's hero alter ego) with elements of felicia hardy (she's the toxic relationship) and betty brant (going on to date one of gwen's friends)

[*gwen doesn't reciprocate their feelings, but at this point peter and miles' links to gwen are so inescapable it's a given that romantic tension will define their dynamics for the forseeable future. anytime spider-gwen is adapted, she's gonna have to deal with this shit from at least one of them. mentally i'm lumping them together because these fuckers are The Same.]

she has a few major slots left to fill... but gwen's situation isn't quite like miles and peter's. aside from having a different personality and story, she's queer and female, so her romantic arc's gonna differ.

gwen can't be in a relationship with someone on 65 who doesn't know her secret identity because it's already public there (unless there's a status quo reset that gives gwen her privacy back, she dates someone on another world, or we retcon her a high school boyfriend from her early spider-woman days). which makes her unique from peter and miles.

she hasn't seriously dated anyone who's only interested in her famous alter ego yet either. which, given ghost-spider's celebrity status on earth-65, should be an eventuality... johnny-65 or felicia-65, anyone?

gwen-65 was never a science-oriented person, doesn't share peter and miles' humanities-or-stem postgrad conflict, and already committed to music. so a science-minded love interest would result in a different dynamic because gwen wouldn't be their intellectual equal. which could be interesting.

... but if we reframe gwen's postgrad conflict to be 'musician or professional superhero'... dating another full-time vigilante is the logical next step. how about kitty-65? or spider-punk, who's both?

(... and if being torn between two worlds is literal in her being torn between '65 or 616'.... well. maybe dating another superhero who isn't peter or miles on 616 could work too...... so, cindy moon, kaine, laura kinney or anya corazon?)

she hasn't met or begun a relationship with her true love yet. if she even has one. who knows, it's not impossible that gwen will turn out to be ace (though extremely unlikely), or if she'll simply decide to remain single. after all, she isn't romantic and doesn't want a domestic family. she'd be happy on her own.

... and since this has to be stated somewhere, it's all but obvious at this point that gwen's queer. she needs to have both male and female love interests.

being in the closet, pressured into comphet and sucked into imbalanced relationships where she'd be the subservient partner (usually to a man) are currently what defines gwen's romantic life, and the roadblocks stopping her from moving on. so before she gets any further, she's gonna have to resolve those issues first. which is gonna take a while, because of spiderverse synergy throwing her at miles like a tomato at the wall to see if gwiles will stick every year and marvel's reluctance to let her be queer and leave the male gaze.

at this point gwen's love interests can be paired too. and like peter and miles, it's reflective of her romantic arc (evolving from an object of someone else's desire to a subject who chases her own), which is related to her personal one (a queer girl fighting for equality and autonomy in a universe that wants to keep those things from her). it's about gwen's level of agency, equality and reciprocity in the dynamic:

she begins with virtually no say in her relationships and no equality over her partner, who she isn't even that into. she's shoved into forced romances with more popular and powerful men that she isn't particularly attracted to but knows she's 'supposed to be with' who trap gwen in the male gaze, pressure her to live up to an ideal that makes her uncomfortable (earth-8) or kills her (earth-616), and take her away from her world (peter and miles).

she starts to deepen her relationships with people she's sincerely attracted to [who are also her world's versions of peter's supporting cast] but can't be with because of extenuating circumstances related to gwen being a superhero and them being unable to keep up with her (harry and em jay).

logically, the next threshold should be overcoming those circumstances to actually have lasting romantic relationships with people who are her equals. and the love interests should be characters unconnected to peter parker, miles morales, or their supporting casts. something new.

since gwen's all but confirmed as bi at this point, she has to date at least one woman for an extended period of time to lock that in. at least one of those threshold three love interests must be a woman.

and given how much her story revolves around dodging comphet and escaping the effects of the straight male gaze, she should never ever end up with a cishet guy. she must end up with a queer person.

and then maybe we'll find out if gwen's genuinely not interested in romance, or if she was so traumatized that she didn't realize she could be in a healthy relationship with someone she's actually attracted to and like it.

if it's the latter, then she'd better get actual closure with harry and em jay, where she can actually be in relationships with them, since she's barely dated harry and hasn't even gotten together with em jay, or at least acknowledge why ghostgoblin or gwenjay didn't work out.

and then give her 3-4ish major male and female love interests to compensate for the toxic and one-sided relationships she's had so far and never let a straight guy get his hands on her again. most of her experience being that is too depressing.

[evil-is-upon-us]

I actually don't know what created this alter...

TW: mentions of sexual content.

I'm Valentino, at least that's the name I take. I think that I have existed before Hazbin Hotel, it's just the name I took on and what I wanted to be perceived as.

I like moths, I felt I was abusive to many. I was the flirty one, the hypersexual being who said dirty things and was effeminate and radiated gay energy. I was the one told I acted like a lesbian or someone gay. I liked wearing fancy and pimped-out fluffy outfits.

I have also called myself Mettaton, like from Undertale, but that didn't exactly fit my vibe~

Recently I've got a clue on what it might be... Things that might've caused this. I think I know what caused this.

Pornographic material at a young age - I had a porn addiction at about age 7-10. I was given free internet access at an age way too young. I've had a serious porn addiction and I had trouble quitting. Sex was always on my mind when it shouldn't have been. I finally was able to stop, but it still messed me up.

Elsagate - I think it ties up with point 1. I've had kinks and fetishes which I was too young for. I think this one messed me up really badly. If you see Elsagate content, please report it.

Internalized queerphobia - I was told that gay and queer people were bad. I was extremely homophobic, transphobic, and overall queerphobic (I only engaged with straight content). I was rude and bigoted towards those people and I still have that internalized. I identify as a cis male and genderfluid (I can flow between genders, but at the end of the day I'm a male). The host, Daydream, is transmasculine and xenogender. I'm also gay (whenever I switch genders, I'm gay for that gender), and my internalized bigotry didn't allow me to explore sexualities, orientations, and I feared liking others and due to point 1, I had severe trauma that caused me to be touch-averse and be fearful of men (mostly) and all genders. The host is AroAce too, and they fear being hit-on by others.

People being queerphobic towards me - The host is transmasculine, which their mother told them "that was just being a tomboy." They are also xenogender, which is interconnected with trauma of disassociation, derealization, existentialism, and existential thoughts, and being extremely nihilistic. They were literally told a couple days ago that many gay and transgender people didn't exist, and that there was a prominent aphobia of "Oh, you will find the one when you get older!"

Urges - I talk a lot about "having moth urges." I think I know how that's related. There are sexual urges, bodily urges, impulsive thoughts and actions... The host always had pressure to make themselves perfect, to not engage with humanity and a lot of detachment from that. Moth urged could stand in for just being like everyone else, and being a... being. Natural urges and thoughts. And the host being AroAce, they didn't get to explore sexual urges or anything like that.

So, TL;DR: to summarize, porn addiction at a young age and queerphobia.

I, as the Valentino alter, am the result of this.

I am the hypersexual alter. I am someone who can be free from all this bigotry and here to take back my power. I am the things that hurt me. Being told a good "fuck you" is diminishing, but also kind of empowering. Because it's a big "fuck you" to queerphobia and my trauma. It's where people call me out on my bullshit and tell me to stop being bigoted towards queer people, being abusive to such.

I used to say I was queer but hated queer people, I hated myself.

I can say "fuck you" to Angel Dust, representing a stop to the pornographic trauma I experienced, to the fact of how I was harassed for being queer, for the fact for me to stop being abusive.

I can say "fuck you" to myself, calling myself out on my bullshit and to try and be a better person. Someone who's more accepting. A form of self-discipline I rarely give myself due to being narcissistic.

I try and be a better person, but it's hard when you're a nasty individual and raised as one. Where you were a prominent queerphobe.

I have always existed, I was here for a very long time, but I finally have a name. I can represent myself, Valentino, someone who is wanting to take back the power of porn addiction trauma. Someone who is wanting to take back the power of self-expression and being queer.

I used to think I was an endogenic system of some sort, or of mixed origins... I thought I had no trauma. That I lived a perfect childhood. But I started to think of what could've been the origins of being Valentino... And I think this is the reason.

I do have trauma. I don't have many alters, and I was wondering why, but that's because they're all connected to some trauma I had.

All the alters have trauma or something related to them. And why some stuck around and others didn't.

I'm a traumagenic system.

(I didn't proofread this, so take away from this what you will and have your own interpretations. I just had this massive realization and wanted to share.)

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Re: Piers feeling rejected by Meg: I'm glad you brought this up bc I've been dying to make this point: harassing women isn't always just catcalling and it isn't always sexual, but a lot of men don't seem to understand that. Male entitlement goes far beyond sex, misogynistic men feel that women owe them respect, favors, kindness, friendship, career opportunities, etc. especially if they consider that women 'beneath them' (read: non white) and especially if they feel they did said woman a favor (read: be vaguely nice to them once.) Like that one scene in Mad Men where Joan reprimands a guy for messing up a business deal and he says 'i thought you were going to be fun.' Meaning-- I obvi don't know Piers or William, but I think Piers' anger is that he assumed since he knew Meg he would always have a scoop. Like he would be her go-to for announcements and press statements and leaks, and when that didn't happen he lashed out. The press punishes you for not speaking to them. With William, who knows. Maybe he felt entitled to undying loyalty and silence and obedience as the heir and future head of the family. Judging by how people were mad at her 'woke agenda' I'm guessing a lot of these dudes felt entitled to Meghan being subservient and quiet and look at them all starry-eyed for allowing her to marry in, and she had self worth and dared to disagree w them and people couldn't handle that.

Hmm. While I think this is a very fair and balanced take, I also think there are several layers of context and discussion not really taken into account here.

Will’s behavior is absolutely up for discussion, because it can read as many things at once. But removing the elements of sexual entitlement in Piers’ behavior doesn’t make sense, respectfully. Nothing about his rage and hatred of her reads as professional anger in any way. It has been both alluded to and explicitly stated by several journalists and individuals that Piers’ hatred reads more as sexual/romantic entitlement and jealousy and not pure journalistic disrespect. He was called on it on social media and promptly deactivated for a couple of weeks back in 2021.

He did feel entitled to her because he asked her out on a “date”, and she appeared to have a good time. He had ulterior motives. If it was about being the “scoop” he would never have fixated on the “date” they had years before.

A smart journalist who felt disrespected would have used the fact that the two of them had a cordial relationship, and aimed to remain in her good graces to eventually get other scoops, like Omid and others did. Piers did not.

Harassment is entirely about power, but sex and power are inextricably linked under the patriarchy. Especially for women of color. Entitlement to women encapsulates all of those spheres, including sexual entitlement. We are hypersexualized and desexualized all at once. By her accepting that dinner with him, he immediately felt as though she was accepting him romantically/sexually, and that she should accept him because she is nonwhite and he is a white man. Her engagement filled him with rage, so much so that he has continued to hate her for years afterward, and actively sought to destroy her and possibly have her take her own life. That’s sexual entitlement taken up to 100.

Not to mention his disdain for her choice of partner. He would have been pissed no matter who she married, but the fact that she married Prince Harry set him off even more. She chose a man significantly better than him in every way. Harry is younger, titled, in the line of succession, and has a better reputation than Piers does. He is disgusted that Meghan not only “rejected” him, but managed to find a better partner. His hatred extends to Harry, which makes him even more dangerous. This is not journalistic envy, this is retaliation for wounded romantic pride. The press has absolutely punished her for not playing the game, but Piers has not led this charge out of professional grievance. The press doesn’t hate her, they like the clicks and revenue. Piers hates her.

The example you’re looking for for a man who was upset she wasn’t meek and quiet is Charles. He was happy to walk her down the aisle and constantly be seen with her until she decided to actually work and not just say yes and only speak when spoken to. Will’s anger is not nearly as controlled as Charles’ is, largely because I don’t think it’s coming from the same place. Charles is the one who demands undying loyalty by virtue of now leading the house. It’s why he cut Harry off the minute he no longer complied.

Will, who we now know (we didn’t know this when you sent this message) was a fan of hers and watched her show religiously with his wife, and was, by 99% of accounts, welcoming when they were first introduced and right up until Harry decided to marry her, suddenly feeling an anger so powerful he was willing to nearly beat up his brother does not read as anger over her not being subservient enough or not following the family blindly.

I promise, men like that, who are so deeply entrenched in their racism can, and often do, get pissed at the fact that they’re attracted to nonwhite women. I saw it at my university, and I see it now in certain circles. To be honest, Meg didn’t even need to actively reject an advance from Will. He might have expected her to be a hypersexual title chaser who would be more impressed by him and was shocked when she was only focused on his brother. Her not playing the part that he, a racist, had put her in in his mind, was also a rejection.

We obviously don’t know the motivations for these two men. But when comparing Charles’ anger, which we know to be motivated by his annoyance at her not sitting silently and looking pretty (and at her being biracial) to the anger of these two men...

[bigfan-fanfic]

How would Kaidan, Cullen,Bucky and Sammy react to a bf with an extremely low sex drive? ( It's not that i hate sex or something, it's just because the hormone that is suppose make me horny is less than half of the minimum[ unfortunately my doc said there's nothing I can do to improve it besides sports and eat healthier, but even If I do all of it it won't reach the minimum] 😭)

Important note: sex drive is a nonclinical term that does not have a medical basis. There is no "normal" sex drive - the only issue you have is the hormonal imbalance. People whose hormones are in acceptable levels run the gamut between wanting sex a lot or not really wanting it often at all, or even being asexual and sex-repulsed. Even if your hormone balance reaches normal levels, there's no guarantee that that'd mean you'd desire sex more.

In any case, libido is influenced by a number of factors, and maybe it's my own sexuality influencing my ideas, but most characters I don't see having a particularly high or hypersexual libido - apart from those in canon who tend to have or mention desire for lots of sex, like, say, Wolverine or Dean Winchester or Constantine.

Kaidan has a sex drive that's not particularly high or low, but he doesn't see a need to bother his partner about it - he doesn't mind a partner with a low sex drive, primarily because he's got an ability to communicate within a relationship and discuss these things like a well-adjusted human being.

Cullen, with his withdrawals from lyrium and his general stressful lifestyle, either doesn't have a lot of time or not a lot of desire. However when he does feel it, it's very strong - the poor guy's libido is all out of whack. However, I do believe that by Inquisition, the man has finally gotten over his hangups about self-pleasure and is thus a lot less concerned about sex in general.

Bucky has a very low sex drive. It's not that he never wants it or that he's asexual, it's just that he sometimes physically can't perform or doesn't want to. He sometimes blames this on HYDRA, but honestly he's never been particularly keyed up for sex. His dates back in the forties and thirties weren't so much womanizing as playing the role society expected while also enjoying the company of them.

Sam has a really messed-up understanding from sex that comes from Dean and their dad. Jess really did the work of a saint sorting that man out - I imagine he didn't want to disappoint and suddenly started acting like them and immediately she got turned off and maybe even bopped him on the head for that. Still, Sam places a lot of importance on sex in a relationship, as his emotional constipation means it's one of the only ways he knows how to express romantic affection. It'll mean work from both of you to get him to understand it's not about him.

[papirouge]

Papi I-

I literally started reading into some drama in a gamer community and ended up learning about this case were a 20 year old man and 15 year old boy had a sexual encounter. The victim, years later, denounced this man publicly when he understood what happened was wrong. The man first apologized to him and everyone for 'letting them down' or something, but weeks later came with a document were he retracted his confession and said he actually was the one raped and blackmailed. He said the 15 year old came onto him when he was sleeping and started giving him a blowjob, and he tried telling him to get off of him, but froze up and couldnt stop the kid anymore. The next day, this same boy supposedly blackmailed him, telling him that if he didn't have sex with him he would tell everyone that he was gay and slept with a minor. So the man, out of fear, accepted and let the boy gave him oral sex again, though stoping midway because he got upset about the older man lack of enthusiasm. Everyone in the community got on the older man side, calling the other party (who was only 15 yo at the time) a rapist and liar.

Am i going crazy or what?? Like obviously this boy still did something pretty messed up (initiating sexual contact when the man was sleeping, which is rape), but the man is still at fault for just accepting it twice. Like from what i gathered the kid is pretty unlikeable and manipulative, and has tried to seduce other adult men, but this man could still say 'no'. Plus the fact that this kid is so hypersexual points to him having some kind of trauma or issues imo. Not to mention taht there are tweets where this man is seeing literally flirting with this boy, so...

Anyways, i read some comments and people were also discussing the age of consent, and talking about how this boy was old enough to know what he was doing, that he enjoyed it and since he iniciated he obviously was the only culprit. People started talking about how americans were too prissy about age consent laws, how in many places it was 16 or even lower. And these kind of comments had hundreds and hundreds of likes!

And i feel like i should point out that this community leans heavily male, which is interesting: aren't men always talking about male victims not being taken seriously on and on. Yet i keep on seeing them discredit both male and female victims all the time. In fact, they were a few comments talking about how this case would have created more conmmotion if the victim was female.... Like why are they so obssesed, always bringing up female victims in these cases? One of them was downvoted though and called sexist because this case was in fact one of the most well know ones, and he was exposed for posting on mysogynistic subs.

Like i don't know papi, all of this makes me pretty sick... sorry for annoying you with this, i needed to vent somewhere....

Girl, I- gamerbros and online gays are the biggest sex pests in existence. In this case, both of those demonic realms are colliding - why would you even try to make sense out of this mess?

OF COURSE they're going to be predator apologists, why are you even surprised? The 20 years old dude excuse of freezing during the alleged assault can be true, but any benefit of doubt left the room as soon as he admitted getting back to the 15 y.o kids for him to give a blowjob...

During rape, people freeze because from the shock of the situation, but also bc they're scared acting up might turn against them (because the assaulter is stronger, with a weapon, etc). How could a 20 y.o dude be scared to *that* point of a 15 y.o boy sloppily giving him a blowjob? Was he still "freezing to death" in that second encounter while having that blowjob? sorry but accepting sexual solicitation from a minor, even in case of blackmail is still highly problematic and suspicious. He deserves to be as much dragged as that kid, who indeed has to be highly disturbed to display such extroverted sexual behavior. I wouldn't be surprised he's been groomed by online gays who indeed have a LOT of issues with romanticizing inappropriate age gap (they have a whole culture of initiating young gays into sexuality by older ones) and being so obsessive with sex & extreme sexual practice - even gay normies themselves (who are not into this degen shit) admit it.

It's very revealing they're now trying to drag women into that discourse, when women don't have a whole culture of egging/grooming young males into sex. This cope is really pathetic lmao Same for lesbians. It's almost the common denominator with sexual predatory behavior wasn't sexual orientation but.....SEX :)

In my country, age of consent is at 15 y.o and can even be 13 if there's less than a 5 years gap.....but literally no one asked for it. Every single person actively seeking to lower age of consent should be sent to jail as a cautionary measure. 5 years minimum.

[mithliya]

I'm still bisexual, so there are layers I probably don't understand entirely. but I've been speaking out against csa since I was a teenager, talked to all kind of activists, professionals and victims. and I truly think this compulsory imagery of how a victim should behave - queit, unless someone needs to boost their ego through a salvationist fantasy - is one of the cruelest mechanisms of patriarchy. I always knew I was a victim, came to close to death for that. but I used to think I was this bad case of a victim, you know? that if I talked out loud I'd make people who deserved the help look bad. the first time a psychologist told me more victims become hypersexual than completely repulsed I thought she was lying to make me feel better. no one really saw me as a kid, me displaying hypersexual behaviour at 13 was seem as the devil in me and not this desperate cry for help, it all got to my head. whole mess. but the point is I eventually started taking about it, and at some point I started mentioning these things in me I saw as a bad and contradictory. and that was when a lot more girls started approaching me - I work in education now so I cross a lot of cases. most of them were just glad to hear they weren't alone, that their desperate attempts to cope didn't erase what happened to them being wrong, that they weren't broken and dirty beyond help or something. and it's strange of me to even compare, because honesty what they're attacking you for doesn't add to 3% of what I admitted and it's so revolting that it's enough to victim blame. nothing we do cam ever be enough, it's all so clearly a trap to keep people from getting help... but I'm still sure you've had the same effect to many. it's so hard to talk about it, worse to hear those things from people who should have your back. but it still makes a difference. so thank you! I hope one day we are at least free of the expectancy that people with different personalities and experiences must all react the same. and I hope so so much good comes in your life! you come across as so kind and patient here. and you deserved so much better, may it come soon

thank you for this v sweet message anon ❤️ i can relate to what you said. hypersexuality also came about as a result of my trauma and it was confusing and would disgust me. things would happen to me and i knew i didn’t want it, it showed i didn’t want it, id react really badly during & after.. but i felt like it was my fault bc i was hypersexual to begin w so i must want it and just have sth wrong with me to not actually, truly want it when it happens. i was not a good victim either. i reacted to my abuse by becoming withdrawn, lashing out at my loved ones, pushing ppl away and at the same time accepting a subservient position to the person who wouldn’t leave me alone. it was a confusing time and a part of me is glad i was so dissociated for most of it bc at least i don’t remember all of it and only remember it in flashes of memory.

I hope one day we are at least free of the expectancy that people with different personalities and experiences must all react the same.

same here. it’s pure stupidity to me that some people don’t seem to comprehend that even if we have similar experiences, they’re not identical & we as individuals aren’t identical. so we’re not all going to react the same. it’s also annoying that ppl think if ur a traumatised lesbian, there’s only one possible reaction. as if mental illness and trauma can only appear one way and only impact you one way. as if those things can’t interact w ur sexuality in different ways. it’s stupidity. i assume they’d eventually realise that it doesn’t make much sense how they perceive and treat traumatised women & esp traumatised lesbians but by the time they do, i doubt any of us will be around and willing to accept their apologies.

[infernal-lightning]

Ilaera Llewellyn Headcanons

Thought I'd post these for funsies! Both SFW and NSFW headcanons below the cut.

Ilaera is a polyglot. She grew up learning Welsh, as Wales was her home country, but is fluent in Irish Gaelige as well. Her French is passable - enough to get by when her photos were being shown in galleries in Paris, anyway. As a seduction technique, it has proven popular both in life and in Hell - everyone loves a nice accent, too.

Though she experimented on both herself and others in the name of art, the scars left behind on her are a point of ambivalence, even to herself. Some days she is prideful of them, pleased that the remnants of her art are displayed for all of Hell to see. Other days she hides them away beneath sleeves and layers. However, no matter what she feels about the scars on her torso on any particular day, the lightning scars on her demonic form never bother her. The eternal bruising and discoloration on her neck is another story- that is almost always covered one way or another.

For the first 2 years of Ilaera’s career as a photographer, though she longed to push the limits of the craft, she stuck to what was acceptable. her favourite subject was always people - the beauty of the body, in all its forms. Later, she was able to push boundaries, venturing more into the macabre. Sometimes she used herself as a subject, fascinated by the fact that no matter who was under the lights, they all bled the same way.

Ilaera displays some some narcissistic traits as well as APD traits.

Ilaera is a very physical person - though she prefers to be alone romantically, she still craves touch, and near constantly seeks out one night stands - or “dalliances” as she calls them. She is slightly hypersexual.

Ilaera grew up during WW2 in the U.K, and as a result now has claustrophobia from sitting in bomb shelters, sometimes for days. She detests elevators and will always choose stairs if they’re available.

She enjoys sewing, gardening and running. Sewing is helpful for stitching, which she often had to do for her… art. She also enjoyed growing various poisons and paralytics. Also helpful for her art.

Ilaera has never once wanted a romantic relationship with anyone - she is physically attracted to a wide variety of people (now sinners), but getting entangled with feelings has never been something she has sought.

She’s a decent dancer - nothing extraordinary, but enough to look good when she goes out for a night on the town.

Other than alcohol, Ilaera doesn’t mess with mind-altering things. She prefers to keep a clear head, though now that she’s in Hell and doesn’t have to keep constant awareness, she’s rather curious about some of the substances she’s seen others partake in.

As many egomaniacs do, Ilaera hates admitting any weakness. The claustrophobia, her nightmares, her fear of Extermination, even the bruising around her neck - she hides it all away.

Her voice claim is Heledd Gwynn.

NSFW Ilaera Headcanons

Is absolutely the definition of a switch. Everything depends on her partner, though she tends to lean towards subbing with men and domming with women, though that's just based on her own experience with sex in the 50s.

She loves control, but also loves people to fight her for it.

Bratty when she subs. Give this woman a good round of bantering and she'll be on you like beans on toast.

Absolutely a "try anything once" kind of gal. But she knows what she likes, and isn't afraid to draw hard boundaries.

One night stands are very much her thing. She hates forming any kind of attachment, hates relying on anyone, so ONS are best, as long as they're with someone as experienced as she is.

Enjoys both sides of sadomasochism. Giving or receiving, pain is one of her favourite activities.

Very much enjoys marking.

Before death, she enjoyed getting choked out - not so much now. She will all but freak out if her neck is touched.

Somewhere between a C and D cup, sizable thighs, a full/curvaceous middle. She's thick all over. Lots to grab onto.

Doesn't mind degradation, but she will never beg.

Somewhat hypersexual. Will add more as I think of them!

[allisoooon]

I’ve noticed in sparrow bens description it mentions he’s hypervigilant. I looked it up and it turns out hypervigilance is a serve anxiety disorder usually caused by abuse, whatever Reginald has been doing to the sparrows is pretty fucked. Season 3 is defiantly going to be a hard watch since I feel it’ll dive more into Reginalds treatment with all the siblings :/

I mean that's assuming that the Netflix staffer who wrote that description fully understands what "hypervigilant" means and doesn't just think it means he's very watchful. "Hypervigilant," like "hypersexual," is a word I can imagine someone using without understanding its nature as a trauma reaction. Same way people use the word "codependent" when they really mean "interdependent."

Anyway, it's a symptom, or a set of symptoms, more than it is a disorder of its own. The disorders most commonly associated with it, from what I know, are anxiety, schizophrenia, and PTSD.

You want a great example of hypervigilance? Number Five. Not everyone with PTSD has this symptom--look at Klaus. But Five seems hesitant and wary when he's touched, jumpy, mistrustful even of those he loves, and in general, I strongly suspect he's too busy protecting his own vital organs to accept a hug from anyone besides Dolores. He just spent 45 years in a wasteland where a mere misstep, any slip of a tool he used, any risk taken, could kill him. Using the wrong source of water could give him any number of deadly diseases. Cutting himself could give him a blood infection. Slipping as he navigated the terrain could cause him to break a bone, which would make it harder, if not impossible, to search for food, water, and shelter. Being in a heightened state of awareness of the threats around him was a way for his brain to help him survive.

Sparrow Ben has numerous reasons he might be hypervigilant, not just the abuse--he's been going on missions all this time, unlike the Umbrellas. The trouble with hypervigilance from an abuse standpoint is that either it's a smidge less common than it is with other causes of PTSD, or it manifests differently. Like, after so long of mind-numbing terror and sleep problems that no longer serve you, you probably have some way of calming yourself down, even if it's in a maladaptive way. Substance abuse is a classic, but you also get shit like really intense daydreaming and isolation.

Anyway. We’ll see what was meant when the show turns up. But you are definitely right to expect a very messed-up and abused Ben.

[kikiscastleinthesky]

THE SOKKASM ZUTARA

I’ve seen a lot of tumblr blogs that ship zutara and I decided that is time for me to open mine too. So, yes, I’m a zutara shipper. And for the time being, my posts are going to be dedicated principally to analyze the ships in ATLA. 

Disclaimer alert:  I’m not forcing anyone to ship zutara. And I won’t accept hate because I (and many others) may have a different opinion, If you are one of those persons I invite you to leave, don’t waste my time and yours, because I’m not even going to reply. Everyone has the right to ship whatever they like and want, without been mocked, harrassed and humiliated. 

Well... now that everything is settled: 3...2...1 go!

I’m starting with this small analysis, because every zutara shipper has been attacked on why zutara and zutara is horrible yada yada but, this ocassion I’m gonna use all the attacks we get and defend it. 

I. Zutara is way the worst toxic relationship:

You call Zuko the abuser, the toxic and the bad tempered? Then you     didn’t get a clue of his redemption arc.

You call zutara toxic for:

a)     giving your mother’s closure and final acceptance into the group?

b)     saving each other’s life?

c)     being the “leading co-parenting” of the group?

d)     support you when you’re about to beg for his uncle forgiveness?

II. The cave scene didn’t mean anything, and just think about it, they would never ever get along well:•      

  Of course, I misunderstood Zuko confessing his own grief, probably he just hates her.

When Katara opens to her mother sorrow like she never did with anyone was like no big deal.

 That part when she offers to heal his scar with SACRED water was totally illogical.

And being the first person who he let touch his scar really said to me that they were absolutely toxic.

 Yes, he betrayed her initial trust. And it hurt, but guess who betrayed worst? The man who for three years was his father. But nope, Iroh, should never forgive Zuko, for what he did. (Right? Katara was betrayed and she should bever have interest in him, so Iroh would never forgive his abuser, right?)

III. Zutara is about getting in love with your abuser:

The abuser love? When did Zuko abused Katara? When did he forced to do something she didn’t want? Did he ever physically abused her or sexually assaulted her? Even if he tied her to a tree, he never humiliated her, he never hurt her or overpass against her. Or are you trying to make up his whole plot to eliminate all his attacks towards team avatar only rest in the female character? (Have you forgot how he betrayed his uncle? Or even himself?)

IV. Zutara is an age gap, it would be underage thing. “You don’t like Aang because he is a child and still pair Zuko, being a minor.” You want to hypersexualize two kids (Aang and Katara) into having sexual interest.

Katara would have been dating an underage guy too. She would have been 18 and Aang 16. I know! Age gap only matter when the man’s older. Both Katara and Zuko had gone through puberty, and both were in adolescence, both shared the same maturity level. Yes dude, there a huge difference in being a CHILD and being a TEENAGER, yes, still minor, But with puberty hit already.

Actually, I still believe even being 11-12 you can get like a… spark… a hint. Even if its not a relationship whatsoever, and not having sexual interest of any kind. If you really want to see what closest we get to a “real” attraction and potential between kiddos that age, you get S1Mike and Eleven (stranger things) / you get Chihiro and Haku (Spirited away) / you get Pazu and Sheeta. (The castle in the sky) –Wooo, that really changes things right?

But yet there are people that believe shipping zutara is “pedophile” I thought in seriously not replying to this stupidities but, here I am, dismantling their theories.

So, this is real life. An adult person trying to sleep with a prepubescent kid. So… there is no support on this. Because a ship is about two fictional characters in a fictional story.

What about fictional pedophilia? Well, we can change that: Fictional pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder when you ship an adult fictional character (+18) to have a sexual interest in a fictional prepubescent child (-12) and / or attempt to engage both characters in sexual acts.

So step one… are either Zuko or Katara either an adult or prepubescent child? As you can see in the image at the right, both have gone through puberty. Step two, are you trying to a couple of minors to get sexually involved? No, this is a love story, not porn. And before you yell at me for the porn zutara comics/fics on the web, I guess you should see the porn Kataang /fics comics on the web too.

But I don’t hate any ship. So, technically, neither Kataang, nor Sukka, nor Yukka, nor Jetara, nor Maiko is pedophilia.

Ok, yeah yeah its not pedo, but is statutory rape, so yet it’s illegal.

Oh yes, if we state that 18 is the age where you are considered an adult (at least in my country) both are minors, your term is partially correct. But guess what would be statutory rape too?

Sukka (15) and Maiko (16-17), both implied to have sex relationships and canon during the series.

The episode "The Southern Raiders" became (in)famous among the fandom for what is a truly epic instance of this trope. Zuko bumps into a very flustered Suki on the way to Sokka's tent, and she hurriedly excuses herself. He walks into Sokka's tent to ask him a question and finds him pants-less and surrounded by flowers and candles. He even greets Zuko with a suggestive "Well helloooo..." before he realizes who itis. After a short talk, he rushes Zuko out and sticks his head out to call for Suki. And if there was any doubt, Sokka is shown the next morning fiddling with a flower necklace for no apparent reason... except to indicate that maybe Suki had been “deflowered”.

And yet, if Kataang had sex, it would be statutory sex at some point too: 16 and 18 -Conclusions: Statutory sex takes all ships equally.

V. Poor Aang he would be devastated.

Kid, he’s 12, in the comics he’s 13-14. Or what? Haven’t you guys had a broken heart ever? Your high school sweetie? Or Aang’s so frail to not be able to find love? To close himself for a better opportunity? Seeking your own happiness in not selfish. What is selfish is seeking your own happiness at the other expenses.

And even that, we all know what would Aang do if Katara starts a relationship with Zuko. (Even if it wasn’t Zuko, I highly doubt he would like Katara dating someone else) He would go on avatar rampage. That is NOT healthy, that is NOT romantic. That is extremely possessive and selfish to do. It’s psychotic. Because Aang cares more about himself than Katara’s feelings, even if she would be happier without him.

VI. Zutara is all about sex interest.

Well once more you mistake chemistry with sexual needs. Wanting me to sleep with my husband means I only use him for sex relief? If I find myself sexually attracted to anyone probably means I just want to sleep with that person and nothing else.

VII. A hug is all zutarians have to acknowledge zutara:

We have a complete extended analysis in all the small details, but we like to use that forgiveness hug because in that hug you have more potential that all the kataang scenes all together. We have thousands of complete analyses, pages dedicated exclusively zutara. 

VIII. Katara “fell in love with Aang” and it’s not one sided.

Uh... Nope, just because two persons are good friends it doesn’t mean they are a good couple. Yes, the way the both of them interact is absolutely beautiful, But not romantically.

Do we see Katara’s view on romantically being drawn towards Aang? Yes, we see it, and yes, unfortunately, is one sided.

How Kataangers complete this:

·       The fortune-teller: I didn’t see like “Wow omg the avatar is going to be my future husband!” But… was like “uh… really?… well, I guess it’s him” Zutarians and Aunt Wu are the base for many backs up theories. ;) Aang is not the only powerful bender you know? And actually, that episode is way trying too hard to demonstrate the crush Meng has for Aang and Aang has to Katara. How is even healthy to accept that sometimes persons don’t like you back and it’s not the end of the world.

·       The cave scene: I forgot that Katara is telling him to be her boyfriend and they will live happily ever after. And really, it all gets us to a real Oma and Shu theory. Not to mention that they were “forced” to kiss because their kids innocence believed if they kissed, they wouldn’t die, and that Aang messed up things as well. But if you see it beneath, if she was truly interested, she would have told Aang: “wow omg we kissed, ok. let’s give him a clue…” nothing, she goes back in treating him same as always.

·       The headband dance: Well that’s a fair point yes. Actually, I felt something different…unfortunately Katara later had to tell him not to kiss her.

IX. Zutara is because you projected on Katara and had a crush on Zuko, because Katara and Zuko were your favourite characters and because is the bad boy style romance.

My crush was Jet <3, and zutara was the most logical endgame for girls. Ask any girl, ANY 14 yo who would like to date: A high school, nice and handsome guy or a 7th grader that had potential to be her best friend. (See the logic) 

And nope is not like “Insert fav characters of the opposite sex to ship them” You need to see real development.

I don’t know why they stereotype Zuko as the “bad boy” – relationship archetype. Zuko is never seen to be the classic fuck boy who treats girls like shit and suddenly there comes a lady to change him. Maybe he is a “bad boy” (confused though) in S1 and S2, but his redemption arc is literally the answer of why he is not “bad boy” anymore.

If Katara was truly and really romantically interested then she wouldn’t have friendzoned Aang. Once? Nope 4 times. And also… are we forgetting kind of imagery…

Friendzoned  

 When Aang fixes her a small necklace with the fishing  thread.

 When he kissed her at the invasion. She didn’t  reciprocate it. (I’m not even mentioning the mommy proud speech)

 When he wanted to talk about the kiss in the western  air temple (Comic love is a battlefield)

 When he kissed her at the play and she had to told  him to back off.

 Strange imagery

 She was June Pippinpaddleopsokopolis (Aang’s  granddaughter)

When Aang got shot, she held his body in her arms in  the exact way Mary held Jesus in Pieta’s sculpture.

 She was Sapphire Fire. (Aang’s pregnant mother)

After they got married, in the book legacy, she said  she enjoyed most seeing Aang becoming a man. (Honestly ladies if I got a BF  the least I want is seeing how the kid transforms into a man)

I’m looking forward to watch you grow into manhood  as I did to your father (Katara’s letter to Tenzin)

 I’m really  trying to deny Oedipus complex here.

Still hard for me to track Katara’s love interest for little Aang since all we see is more a relationship mom/sister or Harry/Hermione. I have heard rumours that Bryke wanted to give the ship “mystery” and “expectation” but I think they really messed up, I didn’t see expectation or mystery, I saw a child insisting to a girl that didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t even like she didn’t have much of a chance, because her love interests:

Was killed by Long Feng

Gave him a hideous mustache and disappeared him after Azula’s attack in the western air temple.

Forced to be attached to a toxic relationship.

Apart that all those points I’ve mentioned, Kataang is not a relationship for me. Staying in a formal relationship with the first person they met of the opposite sex at 14 -12 (guys not even Disney does that, jeez not even studio Ghibli) and not having any chance to experience any other relationship. Never experiencing a broken heart, or someone better. I think that it gives the wrong idea, telling guys that no matter how long they are placed in friendzone, eventually the girl will fall for them. They just have to keep insisting.

You could say, but what a hypocrite! Snow White was 14 years old when she went to live with that prince! Many princesses are 16! And not to mention that many men were the first they met! Like Aurora, Rapunzel, and Cinderella. Well, you are right at one point. But ... the interaction of these characters changes radically, mainly because they never "give cute kisses" to their future husbands, nor do they treat them like their brothers or their children and ... the men were never friendzoned, except for Naveen at the beginning. You see the real attraction of teenage girls with an older boy. And I'm not saying that they should never be friends or support each other. Mulan and Chang were allies, friends, they supported each other, they saved their lives. But at no time was there the kind of interaction Katara and Aang had.

If Kataang was to be endgame, we would see Katara’s reaction to Jet, totally different, THAT kind of reaction was what I was waiting. (That kind of reaction is what every princess do, at least one time)

The same chemistry we saw in Yukka / Sukka. Honestly, I saw more chemistry between Haru and Katara.

Or at least give us some character development like: Aang, I know my feelings where not as you wanted but now I decided I want to be with you because (list everything here except he being the avatar), I really like you, perhaps we can give it a shot. Or like several things that could clue us that she is interested (come on people, two persons can kiss/hug/ have sex and that doesn’t imply they will be together in a formal relationship) But all we got was: Oh, right, he’s the avatar... suddenly I fell for him and I’m gonna kiss him fully in the mouth and that’s how I’ll tell him and that all my confusion has magically disappeared.

X. I’ve never saw that kind of spark between them. Again, it was “Just a hug”

Yes! That’s initially the whole point of it, a friendship hug, the truth of why we don’t need silly blushes. Because that forgiveness hug shows their initial relationship, they are friends! All their love needs to come first from a truthful friendship, by the contrary of calling the “immediate falling” like Aang did for Katara, it shows us that friendship love can evolve into something more beautiful, and that’s why we like the ship, because all zutara shippers know Zuko and Katara wouldn’t fall in love like that all of the sudden, they have to create the romantic relationship, and that’s what we portray in the fics.

What makes Zutara exceptional is that he, sees her, he hears her, he listens what she had to do, at anytime he forced her to do something she didn’t. And before a “teenager adolescence ship” he sees her as a human, with feelings with own ideals and goals.

And there is a complete and extremely well based analysis in: The crossroads of destiny + The southern raiders + The lighting saving.

XI. The comics show us how toxic they really where.

Their interaction in the comics was something I like to call: destroying a character. Not only Katara, who turned to be that awesome badass to the submissive girlfriend. From how I see it in the series to the comics there’s all I have to say: That’s not my girl.

XII. How Katara could be queen of a country that almost aniquilates her tribe and killed her mother? It would be a betrayal.

I think this argument is out. Not valid. Is like saying a Jew can’t date a German because of the holocaust. (German doesn’t mean nazi, just as Zuko, who was from the Fire Nation and didn’t order Katara’s mother assassination, and not every citizen of the fire nation means a ruthless killer). Is like saying that a Japanese can’t date a us citizen because of the bombs in WW2. And even if we see it “political”, is like… an aphrodescendant can’t rule a country that is racist, then Mr. Obama would have never reached the presidency.

Two persons can unify them, because they can demonstrate that being from different country that initally has not good terms can reach peace. The union between those countries represents the power of maturity, of overcoming adversities and the power of forgiveness. *Our lands now connected by love* And I want her to be queen, I want her to rule, I want her in charge, I want her in power. Imagine all the potential she could have (politics, business, negotiations, rebuilding, restoration, education, public health!! ***faints***) Not only for the fire Nation but for the whole world! Imagine that once Zuko abdicated they left to the south pole and she opened a fighting school and a healing school of her own (like master Pakku, but now her students are given a medical license that acknowledges them as professional healers) And this is just an idea. Like these ideas are hundreds. It would have been the perfect feminist role model!

XIII. Since the beginning, Katara was always interested in Aang and she always supported him and was for him when he needed her. That’s proof they were meant to each other.

If a girl expresses faith in your abilities, she loves you, she hugs you, and she supports you clearly she’s completely into you. Because obviously female best friends don’t exist.

[monzterzack]

aight i read the whole manga SO NOW I GET TO TALK ABOUT MUTSUKI TOORU AND HOW YALL PISSED ME OFF FOR MISGENDERING HIM AT ALL TIMES

Tooru Mutsuki from tokyo ghoul: re is a trans man, this is established early on, and no you cant ignore that part of his personality when u want to make your weird sexualizing edits of him you WEIRDOS

And i say the fact that tooru is trans is fundamental for his character arc, i would even say its a key aspect of it

To begin with, im going to say ishida is .... not good at writing queer characters, he downright sucks BIG TIME like.... jesus christ man he sucks so much at it and that was really detrimental for tooru's development as a character

BUT REGARDLESS HE REMAINS TRANS AND IDENTIFIES AS MALE, from begining to end of the manga

Now tooru seems to have a bad case of severe ptsd and trauma, and he is an abuse survivor, and all of this got mixed with his gender identity (as sometimes happens), so everytime he identifies as a "girl" in the manga it is heavily linked to his decaying mental health and not as something he feels proud of

As a trans man myself i can understand that, sometimes when im having bad episodes i start questioning my identity and switching back pronouns to "prove if im really trans or if im a fake" which seems to be the same thing tooru is doing cause it seems to only add more stress and push further his breakdowns

He is dissociating so hard and going back to how he used to be, he seems to also black out and commit horrendously violent acts due to said dissociation and the lack of a support system

He also seems to be gay, and taking said feelings as proof that he is "A female"

I want to say no girl ever refers to herself as "a female", specially with the implications that is something.... negative, but i used to do that before realizing i was trans, so thats that on that

So tooru seems to have fallen really REALLY LOW, his mental health is a mess, he got tortured so much he lost his damn marbles and he seems to be in a dissociative state since that point on

He has a baaaaad obsession with his professor, and its shown that is cause haise (kaneki) was the first to respect him as a person and as a man (he seems to be one of the only ones to use tooru's correct pronouns during the whole series) and later on is revealed this obsession is also brought due to haise triggering tooru's dysphoria this one time he entered the bathroom and he hadnt bind himself yet

The "rejection" brought by that event seems to have been a big part of tooru's obsession with haise, to the point he goes like "he thought my body was disgusting and that i was disgusting" which is a feeling that i can relate to, and its understandable then why during his mental breakdown he seems to be obsessed with obtaining haises romantic feelings and "approval"

Im not going to pretend like he is a cinnamon roll and he did nothing wrong.... cause he did.... he did everything wrong, but im gonma add nuance and said "this poor guy got so much bad luck he was abused constantly and no one really check up on him so how the FUCK WERE U EXPECTING THIS TO TURN OUT?!?!"

Also as further proof, his decaying mental health seems to be directly linked to multiple characters misgendering him and sexualizing him (torso, his father, even urie misgender him) and he seems to he repulsed all around by being the object of desire of others so maybe dont do that

He also haves some sick fantasies where he hypersexualize himself but only if haise is involved, and he seems to be completely out of it when they happen (another proof that he only sees himself as "female" when he is dissociating)

The strongest proof seems to be after his squad finally confronts him, he seems to have a lot of disgust and hate towards himself as all the reality of what has happened to him and what he has done settles down inside him, and he gets.... not well..... straight up suicidal (again another feeling i can relate to) as he admits he just wants to go back to when he was happy with the others, you know.... when he was accepted as who he was and he felt respected and safe.... not constantly misgendered and treated like eye candy

And then once they reach the final scenes, the happy endings, he cuts his hair short and remains identifying as a man, taking control back and seeing as lucid as he was in the start

SO I DO TAKE PERSONAL OFFENSE THAT EVERYONE KEEPS CALLING HIM A GIRL AND YANDERE AND "OMG SHE IS SO CRAZY AND SEXY LETS DRAW HER IN MINI SKIRTS AND ROBES WITH HUGE BAZOONKAS"

Cause the whole story he seems to be in so much pain, even saiko tells him "if all of your recent actions were your decision why do u seem so miserable" and its stated that identifying as a girl brings him so much pain and it PISSES ME OFF THAT EVERYONE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HIM AS A GIRL CAUSE I CAN FUCKING RELATE TO HIS SUFFERING

AND I KNOW IM 3 YEARS TOO LATE TO THIS MANGA AND ITS NOT RELEVANT AT ALL bUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME GOD DAMN IT

Pains me so much that everyone dismisses his identity cause he is a trans man and "if he is a trans man that means he is basically a woman right?" When even the damn story shows that he is in pain for not being seeing as he is so BY FUCK SAKE IM WRITING THIS ANALYSIS

I read 70 fucking chapters in one sit to tell you to respect tooru as a man or u will be eating my FIST

[universal-kitty]

Tell us about your PC, Aki!! They sound really cool, and I love D&D!

   [sLAMS MY HANDS ON THE TABLE] WELCOME TO a now split party, but a rad af tiefling and her even COOLER little brother.

   Meet Quinzy (and Carnon, to the left side!)!! (Art by the lovely @tiny-pastel-unicorn.)

   Quinzy is a tiefling barbarian who- much like her weapons- dances between a fine line of badass and princess. She loves her bow and flower crown, but her gladiator set, too. She’ll flirt as much as she’ll crave the fight, indulging in the bloodlust that had been encouraged by her demonic father. (A tall, blue demon my DM and bf ended up naming Avnas... Accidentally based him off of Castlevania’s Dracula, Naruto’s Madara Uchiha, and DMC’s Vergil tho, LMAO.)

   Her brother, Carnon... He’s more the sweetie of the troupe. Quinzy’s protective of him as all hell, but he’s STRONG. (Fighter class...and DM allowing him to be Stronk for the fun of it, bless him.) He can’t really read, doesn’t much like to, but he IS a little artist, drawing the group’s adventures as the days pass! Very much wants to make himself known to be his sister’s equal, too, since he doesn’t want to burden her with being weak and defenseless. (Despite the fact he has proficiency in Great weapons.....LMAO.)

   Full family story (plus art of the parents by the same artist!!) beneath the cut~!

   Meet Melita Valentina (the woman) and Avnas, the kid’s parents!! Avnas met Melita after a harsh fight with a blood hunter during a blizzard in her town. Thankfully, she had spotted him in the spotty darkness, forcing him to accept her help, healing him (with the aid of a friend’s potions), and eventually...the two falling in love.

   ...As it wasn’t quite a secret that Melita had a preference, and it certainly wasn’t in humans...!

   Quinzy was the first born... Born with wings, like her father. However, as she grew up and the teasing and harassment from the village kids got to her, she eventually ripped off her wings in an attempt to be more like them. Avnas took this as a sign of her strength, and began training her in various weaponry.

   Before too long, Carnon was born, though Avnas hadn’t been traveling for some time. He decided to leave them for a short while to fight more. Amass more power, and so he left.

   Unknown to him, however, is that Carnon’s horns had grown too soon. Deeply hurting Melita, though the pain wouldn’t become an issue until a month or two later. Her old friend’s potions kept her going for a time, but none had the power the old ones had; the one, for example, that had helped Avnas’ wound. She attempted to send Quinzy and Carnon for it, having staved off some of the ill effects of her injuries and infections... (Knowing the little boy til he was about 3.) However, when they came back?

   Melita had passed. Cold when they came back for her.

   They stuck around for a few months longer, avoiding the room her body lay in and eating up the food the best Quinzy could make of it. Only being forced to leave home when the villagers realized Melita hadn’t been seen or heard from in months and Avnas had been nowhere in sight, either. No sounds of training...

   The villagers burned their home down, Quinzy and Carnon taking their last, precious objects from home (a necklace Melita owned for Quinzy, and Carnon taking a toy his mother had altered for him; so it looked like a tiefling) before running away.

   Quinzy would make a few spare friends (in a brothel, of all places) steal food and money if it meant taking care of Carnon...and eventually, start fighting for money.

   This led her to the beginning of the campaign she started in, where the group would meet Carnon at the door to the underworld of Highwater (he wasn’t allowed down there), and meet Quinzy, the star fighter and the champion of a goblin-run fighting ring. Of course, the curiosity of new fights catches her ear...but considering a hasty shot by a guard caused Carnon harm?

   That goblin didn’t live much longer.

.:.:.

   Over my time playing as her, I got to learn a few things!!! First off... I’ll start with Her Song. The song that makes me think of her every time! Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max (and Youth by Glass Animals for Carnon).

   The energy... The “you’ll love her, but she’ll drive you crazy while you do”.... That’s Quinzy Energy. (And Youth? That’s pure “from Avnas/Quinzy to Carnon” right upfront. Right down to “feel your mother at your side / don’t you know you have my eyes?”) I have a whole WIP playlist for this family, but I’ll be real with ya.....most of it is Avnas pining music (he loved his wife; thus the comparison to Castlevania’s Dracula) and Quinzy’s erratic music tastes. Mostly because-

   Quinzy has HUGE self esteem issues. Being tiefling has always been something that’s bothered her, not that she acknowledges it any. LOTS of false bravado and ego boosting that’s just....empty, if you know her well enough. She’s hypersexual (though polite; if you’re uncomfortable by it, she won’t persist her flirting or sexual comments), but also lowkey repulsed by it....largely due to being exposed young (the brothel), her esteem issues, and events from the campaign. (Where her flirtations and attempts at getting the upper hand via seduction not only got her in trouble, but got her CHARMED by the Bad of the segment- nat 1 (her only nat 1 ever)- and got taken again.....but more forcefully and without her full control of the situation, shaking her up since the encounter.)

   All she wants to do is protect her brother, but during the events of that campaign, she ALSO found out about her dad’s cult. Which wasn’t a big idea until she saw him frail and missing his right eye. Wings gone. From what? Who knows.

   But what she does know is Carnon wouldn’t fight alongside him. Quinzy wouldn’t side with her father if it meant harming Carnon...and led to the first time she ever told him “no.” The daddy’s girl telling him no and the both of them realizing how far apart the other is for the first time in all of this mess.

   Quinzy, hoping her father would fix things.....and he’s essentially gone mad. The patient, honor-driven fighter is gone. Her father is gone and she’s lost. (A breakdown commenced for the first....I’d say 3 or 4 turns until she finally listened to Carnon and engaged, getting in two harsh hits before her attack rolls started slipping.)

   She’s still reeling from that. Last the campaign did, she was suddenly gaining feelings for the resident drow blood hunter, Jivan... The very blood hunter who’d given that wound to Avnas all those years ago. (The wound that was weakening him and driving him mad....but also the fact his wife was dead.)      (And yes, Quinzy likes them- typically- bigger than her, just as tough...older than her, and also has a preference for drow. Dunno where that came from, but she sure as hell does. Ah, on that note...... She’s pansexual.)

   Jivan was upsetting her for, well....existing. Pure, unfiltered emotion isn’t something Quinzy can quite handle. Despite the fact it’s what she used to sorely wish for. To be a badass, warrior princess and to fall in love with someone and be in love as much as Melita and Avnas were.

   A handsome drow shows up with his shit together, nose in a book a majority of the time (a nod to V from DMC5 by my bf, the DM), smooth lines, and a damn good fighter....and now she’s sick to her stomach. Warring with herself quietly. Something only Carnon sees.

   What’s left of a family, falling apart at the seams. And Quinzy, who can’t keep pulling it together by herself.

.:.:.

   WHEW, THAT WAS LONG, but um?? I hope you enjoyed reading this???? I know it’s super long, but I REALLY wanted to talk about all the stuff I keep thinking about regarding her and aaaaaaaa.........

   As a final note! I show you their dolls! They came in...a few days to a week ago from Apocalypse_Too and I adore them!! (Communication was horrible, tho.... Done quickly, but it was a NIGHTMARE to get in touch with them.) And combined with a LOVELY candle from @lemonyflicker (seriously, check them out; their stuff is SO GOOD I cannot praise this custom order I got enough), it makes for a wonderful set~!

   (Also note the lil Quinzy icon in her dice set; we were using those as our “figures” to map out placement. According to a weird, fourth wall breaking canon, Carnon drew them! That’s his art style!)

   ....Okay, ACTUAL last thing: Carnon doing art!!! This was the first page Carnon ever did for the campaign! We stan a little artist!!!!!!!

[shieldedsouls]

long headcanon post in regards to sexual preference, sexual identity, sexual activity. romantic aspects also touched on. james has a separate post for the sake of clarity, but is also mentioned in this one since the two of them share a body.

topics of protection, consent, kinks, toys, internalized homophobia, identity dysphoria, implied non-con will be discussed. please ask if further warning needs tagging or listing. the rest is under a cut for the sake of length.

        Bucky is hypersexual. This trait has nearly always been present, and he lucked out on being charming and genuine/well-meaning with his dates, though many of them did not go much beyond what was acceptable at the time while he was growing up. ( it took some time to figure out he did not have a regular drive, and he was nearly 17 for his first time. ) Bucky is a romantic and a dreamer, fully expecting that one day he’ll find someone and start a family of his own, hopefully as happy as he and his sisters were growing up. He takes care of his date, always wanting to make sure they have a good time, even if he is unlikely to see them again, and all he can do is hope that he’s treated just as well. If someone tries to kick him to the dirt, he drops them like a hot stone and goes to find someone else.

       He’s also been acutely aware of the fact that he sometimes looked at men the same way he looked at dames, as far back as he can remember beginning to want to look, and the only thing that really stopped him from exploring that avenue more than a couple of back alley mistakes was the that it was illegal and at least most people seemed to look down on homosexuality at the time. It did make him question his own masculinity, as he has also always liked to do ‘softer’ activities like cooking and sewing. His parents never really stopped him, but it was obvious he was uncomfortably outside his family’s expectations for the oldest and only boy that he was.

           Still, Bucky held a quiet support for the community, he knew plenty of people who were hiding, and tried ( unsuccessfully ) to date a couple of them. What always split them up was that Bucky does not do well in hiding his affections. If he isn’t allowed to touch or share space with people he cares about, it feels like he’s being hidden, not the relationship, and that wears him thin very quickly. Being tactile and hypersexual, especially once he starts actively keeping a sex life, hiding is not really in the cards for him if he expects any satisfaction. It can be a game for a little while, but it isn’t one he likes to play.

      Once he’s enlisted, it’s a curveball. One he mostly handles with one-night stands, and any semi-rare time he’s with a man, a good portion of energy is devoted to trying to shut up the what if we get caught thoughts. There’s too much else going on for him to be fretting about finding a long-time partner, and he knows he’s coming away from the war scarred, assuming he lives through it, before half of his first day is over. There’s no desire to dump his shit on someone else, and he begins having sex more frequently as a way to try burying things he doesn’t want to deal with, though he is always careful to stay protected because he is vain but that is another post. It’s one of few lessons the military drills into him that he always keeps in mind.

               Then the fall from the train happens. There is still very little memory between falling and anything before the third version of an arm he’s given, so he has no idea what lies there in terms of traumas, and that part left his sexual/romantic appetite largely unaltered. While James is the fronting personality, Bucky’s drive doesn’t actually go down much, either. If anything it briefly goes up, and the handful of occasions he’s able to surface and go on the run he tries to find an outlet that won’t get him caught or hurt. In these instances he takes a heavy preference for being the one in control of the situation, and he’s actually a bit less concerned about whether it’s a man or woman that he’s with than he was before the war.

                   Everything is a mess when he’s broken free by Steve though. His hypersexuality makes itself known again full-force, and Bucky is surprisingly reckless with his own body for a long while there, just for the sake of feeling good after spending so long being in pain or not feeling much at all. As his memory slowly stabilises again, as much as it can given the damages done, Bucky reels back to a more careful consideration of who he does or does not sleep with; he does take a long enough pause to make sure he’s clean after the reckless period, but after that it’s very much as he pleases. Discreet, good nights, an excellent way to stay below radar as long as he picks wisely. Being on the run does not stop him from one-night stands or occasionally shacking up with someone else also on the move.

        After that, the longest period of not having sex is during and just after the trial. The trial leaves him too worn out in every sense to bother trying, and by the time it’s over, he’s been in the news and on television, and feels like all anyone would want from him is a celebrity notch on their respective beds. Not the treatment he was looking for. It takes awhile to recover from how much the trial wore him down, and he mostly spends time with Steve, and later Sam and Thor, being squished into their space and trying to soak in touches as much as he can ( sidenote: Thor remains the most astute about giving him what he needs, but a large part of that is due to the natural abrasive approach in his friendship with Sam, and Steve struggling to not hover because he doesn’t want to overwhelm. Thor is…uncomplicated, and he appreciates that far more than he ever can voice ). He simply doesn’t have the energy to go out for more than his therapy sessions and occasionally visiting family members that live nearby.

                         Eventually of course, platonic touch simply isn’t enough to keep him and satisfaction going. But he has been catching up on the world, seeing the kinds of things he’s been missing, and Bucky takes to the sexual world very quickly. Browsing through toys available, learning terminology, reading in an attempt to broaden his horizons and have maybe a better idea of what he would or would not like to try with someone else. Consequently, it doesn’t actually take very long for him to amass an interesting collection, which while kept out of the way, he does not bother hiding any of it the way some people do. Everything is organised, and he does have his favorites, but he doesn’t generally share those kinds of details unless he’s been seeing someone for quite some time. Even long-term partners he still gets embarrassed about admitting this to, not wanting it to sound like he thinks they’re inadequate or anything.

             Before the war, he was a very balanced switch, a partner pleaser; any other time however, he very enthusiastically is a bottom, and often a noisy one. Anyone who can’t take some sass from him doesn’t earn any favors from him, and Bucky has been known to call a night off if it becomes clear there’s not a mesh in sexual preferences, though mostly with people who aren’t willing to negotiate changes. He can definitely ease up on his sometimes bratty tendencies, but if he isn’t careful it turns very needy instead, and Bucky is still self-conscious about asking too much of a person. The longer he’s seeing someone the less self-conscious he feels, provided they have been regular in assuring him he’s fine.

                        With the new time on his hands, the collection, and learnings, there’s also no need to hide. He can satisfy himself when he wants, as he wants, and it doesn’t matter what he does. There’s no one to ask about his scars, or to press about the arm, or why he’s in the mood again, etc., etc. There’s a freedom in getting to be someplace safe and have his own things, his own pace, and Bucky is working on being okay with sharing that matter with others.

[shctteredillusions]

( @for-a-prxce ) asked:  ‘Shipping and Handling’ Vasilios

Send ‘shipping and handling’ for me to give you advice on how to romance the muses || Always Accepting (simply because I love this even if it takes me forever to do)

As you already know, Vasilios is far from simple when it comes to such things and the biggest thing holding him back is the fact that he does still care for Bryony. She’s the only person he’s ever loved and after spending an entire century in that castle with her, even I don’t know fully what it would take for him to get over her and move on. Obviously, the first thing would be being able to not only handle his hypersexuality but likely having them need/want it as much as he does. Yes, obviously that’s not the best start, I know, something revolving solely around a relationship heavily immersed in just sex but it really is probably the best start when it comes to him because if not for the sex, then he’s not going to stick around. Even worse? If the sex isn’t good then he won’t stick around either. He definitely won’t come back for more after that first time.

Aside from the sex, honestly sticking around after is a big plus for him. Leaving first thing in the morning tends to be a downer on his mood because he’s far more lonely than he actually let’s show and when someone stays longer, he tends to not only appreciate them that much more but then he also gets that time with them that isn’t just about the sex. Even if most of the time it’s him being flirty and definitely down for yet another round. Stick around for breakfast, let him even cook it for you because he’s a pretty damn decent cook when he wants to or even stay for lunch or dinner even though for that he’s less likely to cook it himself. Give him that company he craves so much.

Make him laugh, make him smile genuinely because it’s been so long since he’s truly felt he had a reason to do either. Other than that... I don’t really know. I think just sticking around is the biggest thing for him. After what happened with Bryony he’s going to have trust and abandonment issues with anyone he starts to get close to. Might end up pretty clingy too. It’ll probably also take him a while before he even realizes he’s developed feelings for someone and then even when he does, outright denying them. 

Thankfully he’s not like some other muses who will try to mess things up and instead end up doing the opposite by unintentionally trying to get closer to them. When things stop revolving around sex and start to steer towards more normal, regular life things, that’s when it’s clear he’s already formed something of a connection with them. From there... I don’t know where or how it would go but I do know that once he’s reached that point with someone, damn if he isn’t a damn sappy affectionate man.