#being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it
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Every single time I defend someone shitty who has done nothing but be a cunt to me because they did 1 (ONE ) decent thing THEY ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING SO MUCH WORSE TO ME
#every single time i praise aomeone for turning a new leaf they fuck me over#my life is continuing getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i really don't know how much longer i want to deal with this shit#if things do not change soon I'm quitting I'll run away and i will never come back#i praise y sister for growing up she steals and then lies about it and i print with out a shadow of a doubt she did it wont admit it#coworker who bums job off onto me dose. one piece of work then fucked off and dowe nothing else all day then spreads rumors i lied about my#moms cancer#like i can pull up her obituary bitch#dad dose 1 nice thing then like let's me go to bed instead of doing all the dishes that accumulate while i was at work#then need day turns me back into a slave#is goin to marry his yandere bitch gf my mother has not been dead a year yet good for him#I'm done#i hate being alive i can't daydream about anything anymore except death#i used to be able to daydream ocs n stories that stopped years ago then it was day dreaming about a better life with my wife#that's hard to believe it'll ever happen in just trapped and my dad constantly discourages me getting independent or doin anything for mysel#no don't get a full time job don't move out you cam never do it no don't try to learn sewing again doing try dnd again doing make new friend#don't do anything to make like nice#I'm allowed Wednesday nights after the kids go to church and that's it and if it clashes with family aucks to be me#and i don't get to make. it up the next day like dad#i cant stand my life i hate it so much#i hate my family minus my four youngest siblings#i hate my job i hate waking up i hate feeling exhausted all the time#being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it#I'm tired#i dont want to do this anymore#i need something to change but I'm trapped nothing will change unless i do it#and i hate that I'll probably have to leave ao much behind
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how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence
like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit
#discourse#long post#its genuinely erased so much of my enjoyment of 911blr knowing i have to check accounts or risk seeing bullying/hate#l like its an odd feeling to know that so many people in the same fandom as you actively hold hate or find hate funny against your communit#like tired of people saying others are too sensitive because we dont want to hear or see a person say they want to hurt themself or others#like sorry i put in the work everyday to not let my mental health backslide and to enjoying being alive and accept my queerness#while others seemingly have not#and i know the content i post/share is not all in the same circles as that certain blog and i hate that it still grinds my gears but#its so frustrating to see the cruel glee people have#saying things they would never say to anyone's face irl and only to other blindly devoted/similar bullies#like do these people realise that they are on a razor's edge between 'ironic jokes' and just outright bigotry and threats - like do they#literally the only thing seperating That and conservative bigots is that the bigots are honest about their hatred towards minorities#like a lot of people in the fandom seemingly still need to deal with a lot of intenalised homophobia/racism and just outright hate-#especially regarding queer men and men of colour#because i can not be emphasise enough#It is NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY to be a fully grown adult that actively derives joy from the idea of enacting hate crimes#like you can hate tommy you can want him off the show even want him to die like weird but go off#but its such a next step to unprompted talk about [a character i dislike/hate/dont ship/disrupts my fanon endgame] in derogatory ways -#with rhetoric that straight up is out of terf/rel. right/homophobic/racists bigots and evokes violent hate-crimes......#well i feel sorry for those people cause what a miserable life to spend so much of it unable to enjoy your own life that you target others#anyways I know this is too long but I'm just a very tired man who has studied history and education and working with kids i have seen it -#too many times- harmful words coming from harmful environments or creating harmful actions and thereby perpetuating the cycle of violence#also not super relavent but as Latino Australian i am genuinely appauled at how many people have in their bio they are also Australian-#while actively liking/reblogging and engaging with post that find homophobic violence a funny haha joke - as if activist in our country -#aren't actively trying to dismantle homophobic and transphobic laws regarding issues like conversion therapy#like I know professors that actively got fired for being gay while teaching in religious education context - and its still happening!#so for people to forget so quickly what progress has been made and how much it took and how easy it is to loose - disappointing#(and its the same people who wanna pretend mardi gras is nothing but a party as if 78rs didn't risk their jobs/safety/lives)
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fucked up - Nico Hischier
summary; Nico Hischier x reader.
The honest opinion from a person you really like can hurt the most. But what if Nico regrets it?
warning(s); bad language, angst, argument, fluff, maybe grammar errors
author's note; based on a true story. I'm sorry for not posting "happy-clappy fluff imagines" like usually (promise they'll come back soon). I can't write just pure fluff when I'm crying a river.
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It's the third day in a row that Nico doesn't want to talk with you. You can't explain why, but your stomach feeling tells you, something is not okay. You tried to distract yourself with work, work and more work. But when you step in your apartment, you're mentally break down. Your overthinking says hello. You grab your phone, trying to call him, just his mailbox.
"What did I do wrong", you mumble to yourself, biting on your lip. It's rainy outside, like how you feel. You're starring at other people out of the window, until your phone vibrates. "hello?", you start the conversation without looking on the screen, who it is. "it's Nico, are you at home?", his voice sounds deep and kinda annoyed, "yes", you smile, happy to hear he's alive. "Ok bye", he hangs up without a second. You stress yourself to cook a nice dinner in an hour until the door bell rings. "hi baby!", you want to wrap your arms around his neck, but he pushes you politely away, "we need to talk, something is bothering me", his brown eyes let you feel confused, he never been so serious. You nod and let him walk in your kitchen. "I cooked dinner for us two", you smile to blow the negative vibes away. "Do you think dinner will change the fact you act exaggerate?!", his tall body turns around because he stands before you. "huh?", you're even more confused. "We're not together and you stress me out", he tolerates no argument whilst speaking. Honestly you're not able to argue. It's like a punch in your face. "what did I do?", you feel so small. Even when he told you this in a respectful way. "you stress me out. You want to text non-stop and you're not my girlfriend, not yet. After last night with five text messages I'm thinking if it's a good idea to ask you for that", Nico grabs your shaky hands,"it's not like I'm not interested anymore", he kisses your forehead. You're just able to nod and accept the fact. What he needs and wants.
"Thank you for telling me this", your fake smile shows sadness. Nico doesn't want to hurt you on purpose. "I'll pack in the pesto for you", with blurry eyes you do that, giving him the lunch box. Nico just stays calm, taking it and when you close the door behind you, he thinks of hoping you understood what he meant.
The next days your chest feels heavy, texting no message, you don't call him, you let him his freedom. You know Nico lost the finals of the world championship, he looked so disappointed and usually you would at least send him something lovely, but your brain tells you; you were clingy. You're the problem. You're a bad Person for bothering someone. You don't enjoy being a clingy girl.
In the middle of night your phone vibrates again, like ten times until you groan, you're not in the shape to talk happy phone calls. "hey, are you ok?", his voice sounds occupied. "Sure", you reply. "You didn't text me once. I'm worried. We lost", he let you know the news. Of course you're not saying that you watched his game. Like he gave you a clear message. You would be clingy you're not his girlfriend and he owes you nothing.
"I'm sorry to hear that", your hands shake again. You don't feel comfortable anymore, more like you have to hide your personality to be not the problem anymore. "I didn't mean that I don't like to talk with you", he coughs. "I really like you anyway as a person who you are", he talks more. "I'm tired, good night", hanging up until he can hear how much you're hurt. Just thoughts hunting you in your head;
what are you doing now?
What is the right way to deal with this?
#nhl blurb#nhl x reader#nhl hockey#nico hischier#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier fluff#nico hischer x reader#nico hischier angst#nhl angst#nhl imagine
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😚Zoom Zoom Mama G has posted again!!!
HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS ONE AND I HOPE ITS NOT TO BAD….(You’re older than branch but younger than Floyd btw😌)
Family Reunion||Brozone x Sister Reader
Warning:Angst and Mild Cursing
Word Count:1.3k
Other:It’s kinda proof ridden😝✌️
====================
You knew JD wasn’t always the best brother, but you didn’t expect for it to go like this…
“It’s called BRO-ZONE meaning BROS not GALS” JD said angrily at the h/c haired troll. “So youre saying just because I'm a girl I can’t be in the band. I’m basically the damn melody John.” you loudly yelled at him clearly pissed at how your brother didn’t want you to ruin brozone. “It has to be perfect and the name is perfect for bros. MAYBE IF YOU WERE PERFECT IT COULD WORK, BUT YOU’RE JUST A FUCKING MISTAKE FOR THE BAND” he yelled at y/n tired of her shit. He didn’t mean to totally call her a mistake, but it was too late. She already ran to her room in the shared pod, crying her eyes out and muttering small complaints. All the brothers stood with their mouths agape from witnessing the scene. “John what the hell,” Bruce said, holding the blue decorated egg with blue hair sticking out. “You just called her a damn mistake” “Maybe she is and it would be best if she left….The band is almost there and she’ll just get in the way.” John said it as if he was hoping y/n would leave to save the band for the family harmony. After John said that all the brothers left the area with sour and disapproving faces. Ignoring him till later that night.
It was now 2:34am and fast paced footsteps were heard around the pod waking John up from his humble sleep. He groggily dragged himself out the bed and headed towards the noise and found his three brothers and branch’s egg sitting in the living area. “What’s going on and why are you guys up so early.” John said, kinda annoyed from losing his beauty sleep. “Y/n left” Clay said barely above a whisper. “Huh,” John asked again, not being able to hear Clay. “Y/N FUCKING LEFT” Clay bursted as his tears started pooling his eyes. “You drove our sister away because of your stupid and glorious dream. Now she’s out in the wilderness by herself and we don’t know if she’s alive or dead.” John felt his whole body freeze and run cold. Did he fuck up or was it just you overacting? Before Bruce could add in to the statement, John wasted no time in leaving to go put on his jacket and shoes ready to go find y/n. He left out the door after he finished getting dressed, without a word to his brothers.
________________
{Y/n’s POV}
I woke up in a cold sweat, absolutely drenched from the wrenched nightmare of your older brother. My mind has been messed up recently ever since my eventful trip to mount ragous.
FLASHBACK
“It’s some kind of love”
A voice rang through the area. It was so soft, but with a familiar melody.
“It’s some kind of fire”
It was my part? But sung by someone different. An angelic voice.
“I’m already up, but you lift me higher”
But that’s when it hit you..it was your brothers with a now full grown relationship saving Floyd.
TIME SKIP DONE
{2nd POV}
After your brothers and those two mystery girls brought Floyd back, you couldn’t help ,but feel nothing but relief and a little wave of nervousness. All five of your brothers were standing right there together but the time just didn’t feel right for you. You wanted to go hug and celebrate with them, but you just felt disappointed and angry at them for not trying to find you. Without a word you started walking away, but caught what now sounds like a grown man spruce saying “How about we all celebrate at Vacay island this weekend.” You then had an idea set up perfectly for this Family Reunion.
{Y/N POV}
I sighed heavily as I parked my motor beetle in front of this big resort looking restaurant. “I hope they aren’t too mad to see me” I told myself, trying to hype myself up from all the nerves. As I step foot into the resort I see this tall yellowish woman at the bar, so I head over to ask her where the boys may be. “Umm excuse me…can you help me” I asked her in my nice bright tone. “Of course hun! What can I help you with and by the way you can call me Brandi” she exclaimed, clearly being an extroverted person. “Well you see I’m here looking for my brothers and i’m kinda here to reunite with them after basically being away for 22+ years” I say not trying to sound crazy or out of the ordinary. “Ok well what are their names?”Brandi asked me as she took out a notepad ready to write them down, assuming that it was more than one. “Well to start off it’s John Dory for the first one and Bru-” “Is that them?” she pointed to a corner before quickly apologizing for cutting me off. I was literally stunned when I saw all of them bonding and getting along like we were little kids again. I guess Brandi picked up on my distressed and nervous face that she offered and said” If it makes you any better I can go with you for emotional support” She says tucking a burgundy loc behind her head. “I would like that very much”I say releasing some pent up air that I didn’t know I had.
As Me and Brandi walked to the corner it felt like time was slowing down and my breaths were getting shorter by the second. I was trying to calm myself down in my mind, but I was brought out by Brandi speaking. “Um hi y'all sorry to interrupt, but you guys had a little surprise that decided to drop in today.” As on cue I stepped from behind Brandi with nothing but hope and fear in my chest.
“Who’s that?” Bruce said as he looked at the familiar troll. “If you wanted an autograph you could’ve asked us” John laughed as he pulled out a notepad and passed it around to each of the brothers to sign. “Are you guys kidding me?” I exclaimed, wondering if they were joking or not. Every single last one of them looked at you with a dumbfounded expression. “After leaving, you guys clearly forgot me” I said with tears in my eyes as i couldn't believe that they forgot me. “It’s me Y/n…. but I guess you guys didn’t care” I bitterly laugh as I see the visible expression changes on them except Branch. Guess John got what the fuck he wanted” I said getting ready to leave, but felt a hand gently catch mines, stopping me from leaving in the progress. Before I could turn around, I was pulled into a hug by a pink and white haired troll. “We could never forget you n/n” Floyd said genuinely. Slowly one by one the others hugged me except JD and branch.
Me and JD stared at each other as if we were to look away, we would die. Jd cleared his throat before saying “Umm are you good” while giving you that charming smirk. If looks could kill, JD would be dead right now. “That’s all? No sorry or are you ok sis.” I say starting to get angry. “Just be glad I'm happy to see you.” “Or what Jd” I said, letting a few tears fall. “You wanna know how tired I am from fighting with you. I bet Branch didn't even know he had a sister till now.” I advertise my hand to point at a shocked Branch. “But when I want my older brother to show me affection and let me be apart of the group it’s a fucking problem.” I say getting tired of his mess. “I don’t care no more JD. I will really walk out of this resort and leave again if that’s what you want.”I said, grabbing my helmet from the nicely made table. When Jd just stared at me I knew he meant it. So therefore without any words I got out of there and left. But before I did I said….
“So much for a Family Reunion….Hope we meet again, but on better conditions.”
IF YOU WANT A PT.2 WITH FLUFF LMKKKKKK!!!!!
#trolls#trolls band together#brozone x reader#brozone#trolls 3#trolls branch#trolls viva#trolls x reader#angst
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Colour outside the lines //
Jessie Fleming x Reader
W/C: 1.6k
Warnings: none
A/N: little angst and a little fluff
Edit: I wrote this in less than 2 hours whilst I was bored at work and I'm not sure I like it but let's gooo
You'd have thought working with Jessie would be fun but sometimes her competitive edge and your stubbornness wouldn't always be as beneficial as it usually was. That was the case this week, training was something you had always enjoyed but lately yourself and Jessie were pushing each other to one another's limits. Sure in the long run this would be good for your fitness and stamina, that being said you were run ragged most days.
Today though you were wrecked, it started in the morning when you had arrived at training. Sitting down on the bench in front of your cubby you were talking to Sam about the session you had coming up.
"Y/n if you're going to be fighting for dominance with Jessie again today I won't be partnering with you" she mocked pretending to roll her eyes
You playfully swatted her on the arm. "You wouldn't ever dream of leaving me partnerless Coffey" you put your hand on your chest as if you were offended.
"Just because I love you doesn't mean I can keep up with this weird competitive thing you've got on with Miss Freckles over there"
You laughed at her comment before glancing over at the mentioned woman who sat opposite you in the changing room, she caught your eye and gave you a determined look. "Shit" you thought to yourself knowing today was going to be another tough one.
"Earth to y/n, where'd you just go?"
You looked back at her with a blank expression wondering how long you'd zoned out for.
"Look I'll partner with you always but please don't drag me into it, I've been asleep by 9 after I train with you" she said putting a hand on your shoulder to stop you from wondering into your own world again.
"I can't promise anything.."
By lunch time Sam had indeed regretted partnering up with you.
The morning entailed parters competing in various challenges that would be ranked based on a combined score.
The first challenge was the vertical jump, where each team had to go twice and their best score would be counted.
Sam and yourself just beating Jessie and Janine by 1 point which of course Jessie claimed that you had cheated and wanted a rematch but the coaches confirmed the scores were final.
Next you had an endurance test, where the first person in the pair would run from one end of the pitch and back and then the second one would go and so on. The teams that lasted the longest would gain the most points.
Jessie and Janine had won that to your dismay with you only dropping out a lap before them.
The morning continued on like that where you would win a challenge and then Jessie would win a challenge. When lunch time rolled around you had reached a deadlock.
"Are you not sick of these two bickering over who is better everyday?" Janine asked Sam as they joined yourself and Jessie at the lunch table.
"Who isn't?" Sam Laughed
"Sorry that we like to keep our relationship alive with some healthy competition" Jessie defended
"Babe you must admit we have been going a bit crazy with this lately"
"Y/n's right Jessie, y'all have been killing us and everyone else has been saying it's been getting out of control" Sam tried to reason
"Yeah we understand the competitive side you both have but bickering every time you don't win is getting old even y/n is sick of it" Janine aimed at Jessie
Jessie looked over to you catching your eye, you just held your hands up surrendering
"You think it's getting tiring too?" She said looking disappointed
You didn't answer straight away as you didn't want to upset Jessie and as much as you loved her playful side you were starting to come home drained each day to the point you'd sometimes fall asleep whilst eating dinner that Jessie had cooked you.
Jessie stood up heading for the door back towards the training facilities "Jess, come on don't be like that" you called after her but it was no use.
"Thanks guys" you said sarcastically as you got up in the direction of Jessie.
The rest of training Jessie had avoided you not even acknowledging you when you tried to talk to her. You'd planned on breaking your deadlock during this part of the afternoon but you could tell it wasn't a good idea with the scowl she had painted on her face.
Even the ride home from training was quiet and you knew even if you attempted to talk to her it would be futile.
Getting in through the door Jessie made her way to your bedroom and shut the door behind her, you leant against the cool granite of the kitchen island and released a sigh you hadn't realised you'd be holding in.
Closing your eyes you let yourself think about what the hell had happened today. You decided the best way to get on Jessie's good side would be to cook her favourite meal of yours.
You began cooking your famous chicken pesto pasta and set up the table with some candles. Admiring the set up you realised something was missing so you walked down to the local store and bought some of your girlfriends favourite flowers and grabbed her a coffee from her favourite coffee shop.
When you returned you lit the candles and arranged the flowers heating the meal you had made. Once you'd served it up you put on some music and lightly knocked on your bedroom door before entering.
Seeing Jessie laying there staring at the ceiling in thought
"Hey.." you said nervously
She didn't answer
"Look, I know you're upset but there's some food out here for you and if you're up for it I would like to talk about what happened today"
You closed the door and went and sat at the table, just as you were about to start you heard the door click open and Jessie's feet padding softly towards you.
"Jess, I know you're upset because I hadn't said anything"
"Why didn't you tell me y/n/n?"
"I just, I love you Jess and your quirky competitive side. In fact I've really enjoyed training lately but this past week you've just been putting me to shame and keeping up with you has been an effort and I'm just finding myself so lethargic I can't even enjoy our quiet time together" you rambled out explaining before she could say anything.
Jessie grabbed your hand across the table "I'm sorry, I thought you enjoyed that about me and I didn't want to disappoint you by stopping our fun routine we have going on"
You rubbed your thumb over her hand comfortingly prompting her to carry on.
"I wish you'd have said something, I was just upset that I had to hear from our friends how you were feeling." She paused "I guess I'm saying that it hurt you felt you could go to them before you could go to me"
"Jessie, I promise it wasn't like that. Sam had complained I was working her too hard and I simply agreed that I was tired too"
"I understand, I just hope this means we are okay. I certainly think it'll do us both some good if we get a break from this healthy competition that has slowly become unhealthy" Jessie reasoned
"I agree"
You are the rest of you meal just casually chatting about other things going on in your life. After you finished Jessie washed the dishes and you dried them packing them away.
"How about we go cuddle up and watch a movie?" Jessie held out an olive branch
"How could I refuse" you smile
-
You'd both changed into some shorts and T-shirts you in her UCLA shirt and her in your old National team jersey.
Cuddling up to Jessie under the blanket you closed your eyes as she gently stroked your arm. Her fingers gently tracing the tattoos that ran from your shoulder to your wrist.
You hummed in contentment as she continued
"You know I've always wondered what these would look like in colour" Jessie said mindlessly
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah"
"Colour them in if you like?"
"Can I?"
You stood up grabbing a pack of colouring pens from a draw and returned handing them to Jessie
"Go ahead!"
You then sat there as Jessie began to colour in the flowers you had on your arm, taking care that she didn't colour outside the lines.
You're not sure how long you sat there for watching as Jessie meticulously coloured each piece of skin. Relaxing into the feeling the next thing you know you woke up. Jessie still tracing the shapes on your body only now you were fully in colour, and a suspicious addition where you arm and wrist connect. As you pulled your arm closer to inspect you realised that she had written her name on you.
You smiled to yourself and looked at her, a guilty smirk evident on her face.
"You really do bring colour to my life" looking back at your arm "literally"
"I love you more than anything" Jessie said sincerely
"I, I don't think I could ever express how big my feelings are for you" you thought for a second "I could genuinely burst when I look at you, my heart combusts just trying to put it into words"
"Ew gross, but you too" Jessie fake gagged at your sentiment.
This earned a shove from you which had Jessie landing on the floor in a pile of blankets looking up at you bemused.
#woso#jessie fleming#woso x reader#jflem#portland thorns#wofo#woso imagine#canwnt#women's football#women's soccer#jessie fleming fic#jessie fleming imagine#woso smut#woso fanfics
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Bad End: Witness
"Specimen '873 is starting to disappoint me. He was showing such promise. These numbers, however?" My keeper muttered to himself, distaste painting his face as he watched the feed in front of him. "Unacceptable for a battle class. He might as well be spare biomass at this point."
He was supposed to be wearing his glasses, not holding them. They may have been called "reading" glasses? But they were not, technically, just for that. They also had a blue light filter. Helped with headaches and eyestrain. He just hated wearing them because he thought they made him look old.
A God Forbid ANYTHING remind him of the passage of time.
He did NOT take it kindly.
I managed to avoid THAT landmine by virtue of having witnessed his receiving them. An "incident" that resulted in his head slamming against a screen. Protocol demanded he get checked. In the process, they discovered his eye sight was declining. It was a... bad day. I brought him things to break and stayed very, very quiet.
He bounced back fairly quickly, though. Once the arrogant researcher who had arranged for the incident to even OCCUR? Tried to come lord his "weakened old man" status over him. It was one thing to "accidently" let the battle class get unfettered access to weapons before loyalty train. But to be dumb enough to step into his lab, call him weak, and gloat about it?
Dr. Raghnall Periculum was many things.
But "unwilling to bludgeon a man to death with the nearest object" was not one of them.
He was dangerous like that. Murderous. It came and went like shifting storms, all you could really do was learn to read the triggers. Get good at knowing when to back up. When to hold really, REALLY still. After all... this was a lawless, immoral place. No one here could or WOULD stop him.
They were all just as bad.
Gritty Sci-Fi Otome games are... a lot less fun to LIVE. To be honest? They are actually pretty horrifying. Traumatizing, really. Hellish. As in, I am pretty sure this is a futuristic version Of Hell (but that is a personal opinion). I regret EVER playing a single damn one. But... BUT? I CLING to the knowledge I gained from it. So I can not regret it completely. Because through them? Through KNOWING this world?
I KNOW this will end. KNOW we will be free. That these monsters will pay for what they've done. The epilog promises a golden age. A beautiful, peaceful dawn after this long and terrible night, filled with horrors. I just... I just have to survive. Hold on. Keep my head down and pray.
I may be trapped in hell, but I'm not broken.
We will be Free.
I have SEEN IT.
Sometimes the greatest defiance is just refusing to die. Just keeping hope alive. I... I can do that. May not be able to fight my way out. Not smart enough to hack or sabotage these nightmares. But I can stay alive. I... I can do that. Bear witness, that someday I may stand against them in trial. Record. So no one is forgotten.
It doesn't feel like enough. I feel tired and angry. Hateful and small. But for the sake of my sanity? I make myself feel nothing. Compartmentalize. I've... I've become unfortunately quite good at it. Good at a lot of terrible things. Like placating. Making myself small. Being invisible. A retail smile. Being one with the furniture.
See, just like the poor souls on the screens in front of him? I'm a Clone. Of who? I have no idea. None of us do. They use old DNA databases. From when it was first commercially available, I think. Like those ancestry tests. Here it was squirrelled away, kept for later use. Which... was us.
My template has been dead for centuries, I think. Or perhaps? She would have considered herself my mother? I hope she would have, strange as I turned out to be. We are all children of the dead. It'd be nice to think they'd have wanted us.
Dr. Periculum's cup lifts lightly as he take a drink, more focused on his work then anything else. That heft is about midway point. I've discovered if I begin brewing now, it will be done by the time his cup is empty and he wants more. A glance at the closest screen gives me the time. Food too, is a good idea.
He likely won't eat it. But if it's there? The chances are higher. And when he comes out of his focus, it'll be available. Less chance of him getting irritated by hunger.
On a well practiced route through piles of notes and projects I know better then to touch, I quietly make my way to the coffee machine. Begin another round of abomination the caffeine tar. It is, quite honestly, a wonder he hasn't accused me of trying to poison him to a heart attack.
A few granules of salt, a bit of cinnamon, some expensive fatty creamer, aaaand? There. Unholy bitterness gone. "Just" a cup of liquid tar so potent it could make a rhino taste time.
I also grab one of the meat pies and put it on a little paper plate.
Ah... what has my life become? That I am so well practiced in make snacks for a monster? Picking them up, I don't dare answer that. That way lies madness. Don't think about it. It can wash out in therapy. After. Because there WILL be an After. There HAS to be an After.
Careful steps and...? Just as I estimated. He just ran out. I nearly silently tap the paper plate down to the edge of the table then slide it forward, with-in ease of reach, but not too close. Then I swap the cups. Go to step away. Only to freeze. As, out of the corner of my eye, I see one of his hands briefly leave his keyboard to make a nearly dismissive "one moment" gesture.
Stay put. Don't move. I'll address you when I'm done with my, more important, thoughts. I feel the flash of fear, of panic, but let it go. There is nothing I can do. I will be hurt or I won't be hurt. There is no use suffering twice, through speculation and fear, I remind myself. Force my mind empty and pleasant. Retail smile. Happy to serve.
He finishes. Leans back, dissatisfied with some project or other, and finally slips on his glasses. Gestures imperiously for the cup in my hands. I do not question of course, merely hand it to him. He takes it, passes it to his other hand, and sets it aside. Then, casually, leans slightly over and wraps a thickly muscled arm around my waist. Dragging me off my feet and into his lap.
"You know, girl? B-21873 really was, actually quite promising. I was starting to think I'd keep him. Decent speed, good stamina, excellent problem solving. His test scoring was exceeding all expectations. Really thought I might have gotten you a little friend to play with. A gaurd so I could send you out on some chores safely. But no, he just HAD to be a failure." He said, leaning forward to grab his cup.
I was crushed awkwardly close. Could feel every moment. Acutely aware of his woody and sea air cologne, the coffee on his breath as words were spoken far to close, the beating of a heartbeat I could feel against my arm. Hyper aware of him. Why was I in his lap? This felt dangerous. I should not be in his lap.
Between sips, he turned his head and pressed his lips to my temple, not kissing... somehow worse. Just... just breathing me in. Slow, deliberate, and deep. Like savoring a scent, a sensation. The subtle back and forth, as though rubbing his lips against my hair. Enjoying the feeling against sensitive skin. It could almost be a cuddle on any other man. It took everything I had not to shudder.
"Unlike you of course. You pet, could never disappoint me. If these rejects tried even half as hard as my perfect darling girl? The world'd be a better place." He paused his almost nuzzling. To simply rest his head against mine, pulling off his glasses so he could tuck his head closer. His breathe was hot against my ear. His voice gravel and distain as it spoke of others.
"It's disgusting. Like they don't even try. We spend countless resources breeding, feeding, and training them... for what? Failure? I'm starting to think those bastards are deliberately sending me bad specimens."
Every word he said was horrifying. I could not cry. Dare not. But my heart screamed for those poor souls. They were just kids. Trapped in hell. Tortured from birth. Disposed of when they no longer met some arbitrarily impossible anime standard. If I turned my head, even slightly, I KNEW, I would be faced with screens of untold suffering. Feeds of "testing". So called training. Autopsy reports and datapoints.
Lists of who... who had been deemed "not good enough".
Who were scheduled to become "recycled biomass".
But if I looked? I would weep for them. And that? That was dangerous right now. Right NOW? I had to be pleasant company. A child's doll to be dragged around. No thoughts, no differing opinions. Preferably no opinions at ALL. Just warm and huggable. Soft. A beloved pet who serves coffee and brings things when told. Endure. I just... I must simply ENDURE.
The night will end. Dawn will come. Believe in her.
J-Just empty your head... and Believe In Her.
An alert pops up. I can hear it on a screen somewhere behind me. Dr. Periculum turns his head to look, reaching for his snack. Freezes. Then, a sharp bark of laughter. It's violent, like the strike of a lightning bolt, jostling me. The ones that follow just as harsh. He's not a man that laughs often. And it's not a kind sound.
Filled with schadenfreude, his laughter is like the vicious barks of hunting hounds. The shots of a weapon. A short and harsh to the ears sound, over and over. Delight in the suffering of an enemy. The fall of a rival. It strikes through his body like seizures. Making him lean forward to read. Brace against the desk, tighten his grip around me, widen the brace of his legs.
Glancing up, his eyes are alight with manic glee. His grin is vicious.
He looks Feral.
"Well, well, WELL! What do we have HERE?! Is that Jack ANDERSON'S facility I see? Mr. 'Master of the genome' himself? Looks like SOMEONE got AHEAD of themselves! Ha!" Raghnall cackles spinning his chair so I can see the screen. Leaning back to grab his cup and toast with it. "Look what we have here, pet! Some fucking KARMA! I knew that little shit wasn't worth the paper his degree was printed on! See this? THIS is what happens when you can't control your own damn compound!"
"Rest in PIECES, you worthless little SHIT!"
I sat. Frozen. As Dr. Periculum laughed and laughed, his mood viciously pleased. Because... because I recognized that facility. Chapter Two. There was an animation that played. The... the BREAKOUT! Joy filled me. Like the first rays of dawn. That was HER. S-she was OUT! Free! She DID it! Oh god... oh god she was COMING! It had finally BEGUN!
I caught myself. Barely.
My eyes felt a bit wet so I disguised it with a fake yawn. I dare not show empathy. NEVER show empathy. Keep it guarded like diamonds in your chest. If he thought, for even a moment, that I empathized with anyone but him. CARED about anyone but him? They wouldn't last the hour.
And it would be the longest, cruelest, hour in existence, as they died.
You make that sort of mistake exactly ONCE.
"Ah~ todays a GOOD day. And you know what we should do?" He hummed, nearly a coo as he spun us almost lazily around on his chair. In whimsical circles like a bored child. "We should celebrate. Ding dong, the fuckers dead~ HA HA! Not to mention? It's been entirely too long, pet, since I've spoiled you rotten. We should get a cake, hmm? You want a cake? Lil treat? Sweet lil treat for my girl?"
"I could get you that new dress I've been looking at. Bet you'll look like a classy lil princess, won't that be nice? Can even make it match the trackers I'm finishing up! No more uncomfy collars when we go out! Just pretty lil bracelets, ain't that nice?"
I force myself to smile. Nod. Ignore the fear and anger, the humiliation and helplessness. It's not time yet. Bid your time. You will LOSE your chance for True Freedom if you give in to your anger. Your hurt. Patience, THEN strike. Remember! Chapter two! There are FIVE.
It is COMING.
He stopped spinning, planting his feet on the floor. His manic grin softening. No less unhinged, less full of teeth, but perhaps the closest a man like him could come to loving. His eyes obsessive as the roam my face. Cataloging everything.
"You know, pet? You really might be might greatest creation. Best thing I've ever made or done. Anyone wants you? They'd have to pry you from my cold, dead hands. I'd burn EVERYTHING down. Kill just about EVERYONE." His voice was the sort of whispered confession meant for churches, not the heart of this hell he had built. It felt unholy. Dangerous.
Exactly like him.
"Once I figure how to take humanity to it's next stage? Reverse aging? Heck, even stop it. I promise, pet. Gonna take you with me. You're coming along for the ride. Straight to the end. Heat death of the universe. Well become GODS, pet. Live forever and a day. Bet you can't wait, huh?"
"Don't worry. The futures going be BEAUTIFUL. Just you wait."
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yanblr#reader insert#yanderecore#yandere otome isekai#yandere otome#sci fi yandere#science fiction#tw human experimentation#tw death#Dr. Raghnall Periculum is a BASTARD#trapped reader#clone reader#scifi#scientist yandere#mad scientist yandere#biding their time reader#NOT useless og Protagonist#believe in them#and their harem of useful support bamfs#does this count as prophecy?#prophet reader#i say it does#Bad End Witness#Bad End Witness AU
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wr.t. leaks (spoilers, duh!). Viv really chose the most boring and uninspired rendition of Alastor possible, and I could not be more disappointed. The signs were definitely there in Season 1, but if you wanted to you could easily dismiss as sloppy writing and one-time reactions to extraordinary events.
Like, I know no fan is *entitled* to have their particular interpretation of a character be validated, but... really? He's been reduced to the form of a one-dimensional, entitled manchild you might find as the villain of a self-insert fanfiction. Ohhhh nooo luci hurt his feefees and Rosie didn't actually make him an all powerful god, so time to storm out and whine about it. Why make a deal in the first place? Well, duh, he gleefully murdered so many people for trivial inconveniences he didn't wanna end up a tortured soul in Hell. He's basically Valentino, but, on the 'good team', and not a rapist (yet.), or Adam, or Vox, or Mammon, or Stella (frankly, you could even put Stolas in this bucket, if he weren't so unintentionally manipulative). A parody of a threatening character, incapable of creating conflict in any way that doesn't involve waving around a big stick and reminding everyone and the audience who the author blessed with magical power don't you forget it!
I've said this about pilot!fanon!Lucifer too, but, the fandom interpretations are just objectively more interesting. It's not like you can't write a story, or even a good story, about an entitled man drunk on power obsessed with his own image and getting what he thinks he's owed. But why would you 1) choose an enslaved racial minority character (!!!) to do this and 2) do it instead of multiple more compelling options given you already have multiple of this exact character on the cast?
Fanon!Alastor has emotions other than anger and insecure whining, he just can't express them because decades of crawling his way up two different hostile societies have beaten into him never expressing vulnerability. His very smile is symbol of societies like Hell ultimately victimize both the powerful abusers and their victims. Fanon!Alastor had a deal with ___ not because he's drunk on his own desire to murder but because he's vulnerable to the very same weakness and temptation he's learned to exploit in others. Fanon!Alastor has a natural dual conflict with Charlie: Alastor's connections and practical knowledge represent a way of making her dream a reality, at the cost of potentially corrupting her and having her get there in an incorrect/immoral way. And Charlie's dream presents Alastor with a pathway to more power and stability, but unbeknownst to him threatens to unwind his entire psyche in allowing himself to care about something. Fanon!Alastor, far from being image-obsessed with a need to be constantly in the limelight, is capable of being subtle, fading into the background when it benefits him.
I could go on, but I'm just tired. It hurts me that, come release, fan works which I enjoy making and reading will be expected to comply with this. I don't want to write Alastor this way. I don't want to be told I'm writing him 'wrong' for not doing it. I hope that in some way the earlier fanons are preserved and kept alive even as canon is polluted with all this slop.
It's sad and exhausting, for sure. It also doesn't help that the standom will attack you pretty viciously if you have the audacity to prefer the pilot to the actual series.
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Had a very angsty thought about Dream that I thought you in particular would enjoy, so here it is:
Maybe this would be a human au, but I think it could work in universe as well.
Dream, because of the fact that he's not great with people, tends to be rather prideful, and is well aware of his own strengths, has been accused of being arrogant his whole life. Mainly by his siblings (Desire, I'm looking at you).
At some point, Dream being desperately tired of being told bad things about him, and desperate to have people around him who love him, decides that he must be the problem and so resolves that he will change himself.
How does he go about this? Well naturally he assumes that because he's been accused of arrogance, he can't trust his own judgement of himself. So whatever he thinks about himself, he believes that the reality of who he is must be worse. Which leads to a vicious cycle of self hatred.
Hob, who had become friends with Dream at some point, and had long since fallen for his friend, somehow finds out about this thought process of Dream's and is absolutely devastated. Which of course leads to Hob doing his absolute best to convince Dream he's not the worst person alive. Dream is very stubborn though, it takes a lot of work, but eventually Hob manages to help Dream see how unfair he is to himself and just how wrong his thought process is
Anyway, but I hope you enjoy this concept I thought of, it seemed like the exact sort of angst and hurt/comfort you enjoy, so I had to share
Bro you know me so Goddamn well.
(Vibing human au just cause I’ve been in human au mode for the fic I’m working on lol)
Cause like. Here’s the thing. Pride in and of itself is not a bad thing. There’s plenty of things Dream has every right to be proud of! But he grows up with parents constantly neglecting him and calling him selfish when he wants their attention/love/support, and siblings who call him arrogant when he speaks highly of himself. His siblings try to tear him down and he fights back by overcompensating, doubling down on his pride until it does in fact tip into arrogance, but he’s just so desperate not to let them make him feel worthless (even if it doesn’t really work). And when Desire or Despair are cruel to him and he fights back the only way he knows how, HE’S the one his older siblings scold and are disappointed in.
And time passes, and he’s not naturally good with social interactions, and then on top of that you have the trauma of his family life exacerbating the struggle. He starts having romantic relationships that start strong and then nosedive, and suddenly he’s being criticized and beaten down from all sides, no one willing to give him the benefit of the doubt or any compassion when he messes up. So he starts to figure… well, surely if EVERYONE says all these bad things about him they can’t ALL be wrong. Surely he’s the one who’s wrong.
So he enters university with this mindset that he can’t trust his own feelings unless they're negative. He’s not someone who struggles, he’s just a bad person. He’s not talented or successful, he’s just arrogant.
And that’s who Hob meets. Dream still has a haughty demeanor- a little part of him wants people to see right away what a “bad person” he is so that he can get it over with (plus, deceiving them would just make him a worse person, right?)- but Hob is obsessed with him immediately. Privately, Hob thinks of Dream like a stray cat, hissing and scratching out of fear and distrust, but it takes some time for him to realize just how accurate that assessment is. They become closer, and he starts to notice some things, like how Dream doesn’t tell him about the galleys he gets accepted into, or the stories that gets published, or the tests he aces. When he prods Dream about it, he shrugs it off, saying it doesn’t matter, it’s nothing, he wasn’t going to burden Hob with something so insignificant.
Hob tells Dream he should be proud of himself for his accomplishments and Dream is literally speechless.
No one has ever told Dream he should be proud. His pride was what made him unlovable, right?
Oops, did he say that out loud?
It’s like pulling teeth getting Dream to explain to Hob- How he’s always been wrong before, how he’s never gotten it right, so obviously he can’t trust his own perception of himself. Maybe he was excited, or felt a little spark of joy and pride at his successes, but he knows now that he actually has no reason to be proud of anything ever because he’s just a burden and a bad person.
Hob is going to cry.
It’s a hard battle getting Dream out of this mindset. Hob kind of just has to go all in, because it’s not like Dream talks openly about his thought process, Hob just happened to notice and drag it out of him. So even if it might seem like Dream is just chilling on the couch watching a show, odds are he’s actually deconstructing every single thing he’s said and done that day and twisting them into proof for why he’s unlovable. But it’s not like it’s a chore for Hob- all he’s really doing is giving Dream the validation and approval that he never got growing up, and showing him a bit of grace when he stumbles. To Hob it's nothing, but to Dream it's everything.
(It’s also very cute to see how red Dream gets when Hob compliments him or shows up to his gallery exhibitions or tapes his A+ essays onto the fridge.)
There’s ups and downs, and there will continue to be ups and downs for a while. But when Hob finally kisses him, Dream thinks to himself… If someone as good as Hob can love him? Then maybe- just maybe- he’s not so bad himself.
#the sandman#dreamling#my writing#asks#Thank you for sending this you are correct this is exactly my jam
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Been thinking about the little post I made the other night and the lovely little responses to it, especially for Gourmand and Hunter...oh to be a big slugcat and your little partner who you try to help...
Just because I'm a sucker, they're both alive in Apricity, but they don't hang around the iterators as much as some of the other slugcats do. I think they come by regularly to make sure Hunter's condition is maintained and possibly even pushed back further, but I think it'd be really cute for them to be on a little food quest of their own to show Hunter all of the different kinds of food out in the world--and perhaps discover more! Gourmand gets severely disappointed by the fact that the iterator puppets can't eat when trying to offer NSH some food.
I think I'll be working on some full designs for these two later, but enjoy my tired doodles! I like to imagine that Gourmand is also just large in general, not just Big.
Lilypad, I think, is a good pair, although I'm not sure how romantically I see into it. Might just be my odd relationship with romance, but a queerplatonic relationship re: Lilypad seems a good descriptor for the way I'd imagine it.
NSH definitely hangs around Moon a little too much when she arrives at UI's can and ends up being too overbearing for her, too overwhelming. I think they settle into a nicer status quo--they like multitasking and working near each other in a good, comfortable quiet.
(+Bonus Moon doodle because I love her <3)
#rain world#rain world au#apricity#looks to the moon#rw lttm#no significant harassment#rw nsh#gourmand#rw gourmand#hunter#rw hunter#cherrypie#rw cherrypie#lilypad#rw lilypad#qpp more than romantic but there u go besties#exceedart
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I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)
Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.
Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.
Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum
Chapter 24
[Prev] [Next]
The first blood test was positive. And then the second one a week after that. So were the three at-home pregnancy tests you took. You’d be remiss to deny the fact that your breasts had been so unbelievably sore, so painful in fact that the days you spent home from work had you completely rejecting the very idea of wearing a bra. Still trying not to get your hopes up, you kept your symptoms to yourself and to Law (who was very disappointed at the fact that hugging you in the front had become painful).
And now, two full weeks after your first blood test, you were sitting with Penguin at a table outside a cafe. A large umbrella was open above you, shielding you from the sun as you anxiously tapped your fingers on the metal table, waiting for the call from your doctor.
Your anxiety was practically oozing out of you like sludge, and it was definitely affecting Penguin. He took off his hat and rubbed the back of his palm over his forehead, crinkling his nose. “Please don’t pass out on me, I don’t know how to do CPR.”
You rested your head in your palm, placing your phone screen-down on the table. “I promise I won’t. I’m sorry for being such a bummer, I know you were looking forward to lunch today.”
Your friend waved his hand in the air reassuringly after putting his hat back on his head. His black hair had begun receding recently, and he’d been covering his hairline more than he usually had. “Nah, don’t sweat it. I just want to make sure you’re alright, that’s all.” When he finished his sentence, he pushed your glass of melting ice water closer to you. You chuckled, grabbing the glass and taking a long sip out of the straw.
“So what’s your schedule like, anyway?” he asked, poking through the small cafe menu. “Like, if this next test comes back positive, then what?”
You resisted the urge to check your phone once more. “If this one comes back positive, I’ll have another blood test in a week. And then if that one shows normal signs of progression, I’ll continue to have them done weekly. I’m not sure how long that will last, but I’m getting kinda tired of seeing my blood in tiny plastic tubes.”
Penguin snorted. “They probably have enough of your blood to keep someone alive at this point.”
“They should give it back to me,” you joked, taking another generous sip of your water.
The man across from you closed his small paper menu, having decided what he was going to order when the waitress came back. “So how’s Law been doing? I feel like I haven’t talked to him in a while.”
You grinned at the question. “He’s been alright, he’s been pretty stressed too over this, but I think he’s been able to distract himself with his shifts at the hospital. He’s been working more since he got home from his trip, I think he’s trying to make up for being gone for a week.”
Penguin laughed. “Sounds like him, alright.” He rested his own head in his hand. “If you really are pregnant, and everything is going normally, do you think he’ll take more time off?”
A sigh left your lips. “It’s wishful thinking, but I honestly doubt it. And it’s not his fault, he just works a really time-consuming and taxing job. It’s hard for both of us, but when he is home he makes all the time in the world for me. And because he has such long working days, sometimes he gets multiple days off in a row, which is nice.”
“That’ll be nice for the baby, too,” Penguin added.
Your heart swelled at the thought. Ever since having your eggs implanted, your mind had been melting with thoughts of Law’s paternal side coming out. You couldn’t wait to see the way he’d hold his child, kissing their forehead, cleaning them in a tiny baby bathtub, singing to them as they fell asleep even though he hated being heard singing by anyone. The mere thoughts made your thighs clench. Some hormonal instinct in you to see your man become a father, you guessed.
“It would be nice,” you added, your voice airy. It was like you were floating on a blissful cloud.
Penguin laughed at the sight. “God, you’re smitten. It’s fucking adorable.”
You hid your face in your hands to mask your embarrassment, making your friend bark out a laugh at your sorry state. The waitress returned in due time, taking your small orders before leaving again with your menus. You were starting to have deja vu from your brunch with Ikkaku before your second miscarriage.
The thought of your own best friend gave you a thought.
“Hey, so I have a question for you,” you blurted, attracting his attention.
He took a sip of his own water and gazed at you through his narrow brown eyes.
“Have you told Shachi that you like him yet, or are you two ‘still just roommates’?” you asked, holding up your fingers in air quotes to punctuate your words.
The statement made Penguin groan as he pulled his hat further down onto his head, hiding his eyes with a thick shadow. “No. I don’t know what he’ll say.”
You smiled sympathetically at the man. You, Law, and Ikkaku had been rooting for Penguin ever since he broke up with your best friend after your college graduation with your bachelor’s degrees, realizing he was gay the entire time. The terms were mutual, as Ikkaku began dating a woman soon after, but Penguin moved in with Shachi and was convinced he’d never find love after finding himself so late in life. But then he fell for Shachi… and fell hard.
“I guess I’m just worried that things will be too awkward if I tell him now that we’ve been living together as roommates for, like, five years,” he explained. “I’m already paying half of the rent.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” you began. “Shachi’s been talking about you a lot more. Like, a lot.”
Penguin picked his head up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Really?”
You nodded. “I wouldn’t lie to you about love, Pen, you know me.”
The man across from you leaned back in his chair. “What if I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Then you talk it out like adults and continue being roommates,” you stated. “Simple. Easy-peasy.”
“You make it sound easier than it looks,” he grumbled, but a small smile lay on his lips. “You and Law had it easy.”
“Bullshit. Law hated me when we first met.”
The memory made the two of you chuckle. Law’s unwillingness to open up, how it took him almost an entire year to admit that he could possibly be in love, and be in love with you, the snarky graphic design student who infiltrated his gen ed study group.
And now here you were, a wedding ring on your left hand and hoping so desperately for a child with him.
Penguin was grinning widely at you, making you falter. “What’s got you smiling so wide?”
Your friend dropped his hand. “Just thinking about how proud I am of you two.”
Before you had the chance to reply, or even register your heart doing somersaults in your chest, your phone began vibrating on the table. You snatched it up with the speed of a falcon diving for a mouse, your eyes growing wide at the number on the screen. The lab. Penguin knew without you even having to speak.
“Hello?” you asked wearily into the receiver.
[Hello, is this Mrs. Trafalgar? This is Nurse Nojiko from the outpatient laboratory.]
You nodded to no one in particular. “Yes, this is her.”
[Perfect, I wanted to inform you that the results of your test have come back positive! I have updated your patient portal with the information, and you should be receiving a call from your doctor within the next day or so.]
Your heart swelled. “Th-Thank you so much!”
[Of course, hun, have a great rest of your day, alright?]
You promptly shared your goodbyes before you tapped the end call button, placing your device back down on the table. Your wide eyes darted up to meet Penguin’s. He was already smiling.
“Positive?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
“Positive,” you confirmed.
He had absolutely no care in the world if he caused a scene. He bolted upright from his chair and dragged you out of your’s, pulling you into a bone crushing hug that made you stifle a yelp due to the pressure on your chest.
You frantically whispered into his ear. “Penguin, my boobs hurt like shit.”
“Crap,” he pulled away from you, holding your shoulders. “I’m sorry!”
You were giggling as you had to resist the urge to fondle your breasts in public, trying to get the pain to die down based on willpower alone. “It’s okay, they’ve been really sore lately.”
“Is that a symptom of pregnancy?” he asked, sitting back in his chair.
You pursed your lips for a moment. “I think so, but I’m still trying not to get my hopes up. The last two times, they never got as sore as they are now.”
Penguin flashed a toothy grin. “I’m considering that a win.”
You smiled to yourself, still fighting the anxious pang in your heart. You grabbed your phone once more to send Law a text message. He was scheduled for a very large and very taxing surgery for the day, so you were sure he wouldn’t respond until much later, but you eagerly sent the text anyway.
Hi baby, im out for lunch with Peng. The fifth test came back positive, i just got the call!!! Im still going to lay low for a bit because my tits hurt for shit. I love you, i’ll call you if anything urgent comes up but dont feel pressured to respond if youre busy! I love you again!!! Love you!!!!
—
Law’s circulating nurse had his passcode memorized at this point. When his phone buzzed in her pocket, he simply gave her permission to check it with a curt nod, barely tearing his eyes away from the open chest cavity in front of him.
The anesthesiologist beside the patient saw the way the nurse’s eyes lit up while reading whatever message had come through. “What does it say?”
“Doctor,” she began, her smile reaching her ears. “Your wife’s fifth test came back positive.”
The entire operating room buzzed with muted excitement at the news, keeping their attention focused on the patient, but clearly radiating with optimism. Law had been keeping his team up-to-date with his progress on what his nurses called ‘The Kid Conundrum,’ and seeing his entire crew quietly celebrate over the news of your latest positive test made a smile crawl to his lips below his surgical mask.
“Attention on the patient,” he stated.
The entire team could hear the broad smile in his voice.
—
Seven positive pregnancy tests, and almost eight weeks since your implantation day. You and Law were in a different ultrasound room in a different clinic, due to Robin being out of office for the week with her husband (a thought that made Law cower). You were laying on the cold, unfamiliar table as Law sat across the room from you, the usual set up. He had the entire week off of work, which he had been spending glued to your side. Your symptoms had been fairly taxing lately, your breasts being more tender than they had ever been. You had even started swelling somewhat in your lower belly, but partnered with general morning discomfort, you chalked it up to regular pregnancy bloating.
Not that you were complaining about any of the symptoms. If anything, they were relieving. Signs that you were actually pregnant… with a living fetus.
You stared at the ceiling as the gel was smeared on your belly and as the sound of the ultrasound machine whirred to life. The technician doing your scan was sitting on a swiveling stool as she worked, another nurse behind her to help assess your condition.
“So how many weeks along does your doctor think you are?” she asked, keeping her eyes glued to the screen as she pressed the transducer to your skin, locating your uterus.
“About eight weeks or so, I think,” you replied.
She nodded, going silent as she rubbed the wand over your belly. She adjusted it slightly, then moved it again. The nurse behind her appeared to lean in toward the screen, her eyes growing wide.
Their silence made your heart rate begin to pick up.
“You said you had IVF, right?” she asked.
Growing even more anxious, you nodded against the pillow behind your head. “Yes… that’s correct.”
Law leaned over in his chair to try to get a glimpse of the monitor screen.
The wand was moved over your skin a few extra times before the nurse reached up and turned the monitor toward you. Her finger hovered over your uterus. “Do you see that?”
You gazed at the screen, slowly picking apart what you were viewing.
The outline of your uterus was there, clear as day, or as clear as it could be through an ultrasound image. Inside of your uterine bubble, however, sat two black splotches, each with a tiny white speck inside.
Law stood from his chair, his eyes blown wide.
“Mrs. Trafalgar, there's two babies in there.”
#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#law x reader#trafalgar law x reader#one piece x reader#op x reader#trafalgar d water law x reader#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar law#i'm losing you
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Iron in my teeth.
-viktor (arcane) x OC!
-warnings: Possibly some Canon divergence. Fluff. Angst. Bad writing. Slight vi slander. Svet=light in Russian. Viktor sad boi. Sorta ooc jayce.
----🌌
Fear and Loathing. It's what keeps us bound to this earth. What keeps us moving so that we may eventually reach a place in time where something will take that away.
Fear and loathing is what keeps the city awake.
--
The tower is awake and rumbling with the sounds of footsteps as a group of enforcers hurded past the door. From the window, I could see fireworks being set off on the bridge. A plume of green and pink smoke burst into the air, eroding into the midnight sky.
The sounds of echoing scream and even further cries haunted the streets, taunting the silence that threatened to tear the streets apart. Enforcers are growing more and more willing each day to kill another person, every day another five or more people dead on the street and as I watch them leave each day, the thought that none of them will return makes me think about better times ahead.
"Your awake"
The voice is unmistakably dipped in an illustrious accent and belonging to None other than Viktor himself. Stood in the doorway of the room, I watched him through the glass reflection as he leant on his cane.
"It seems everyone is" I sighed.
I heard the sound of tapping as Viktor hobbled over to me. Standing by me at the window, Viktor hummed as he looked at the scene unfolding down below.
"I don't know why they do it," He spoke. "Why they try to force change"
I fiddled with my ringed fingers as I took thought into what Viktor said, and it made me realise that no one who went down there was not willing to accept they may not be able to change what has already been done.
I turnt my head to viktor. The deep blue glow from the night outside illuminated the room in a sapphire light. Almost like the gemstones that viktor has in his study. The colour made him look alive.
"How is your work going? I heard from jayce that you made a breakthrough with the hexcore."
"It is true. It responds to organic matter. It's incredible to watch, but we haven't found a way to keep it alive. The plants die, and wear away"
Viktor tilted his head down. eyes shut tightly. I felt his heart racing even without my hand on his chest. The man was sick. Each day you spent in his study, helping him with different activities, the more you noticed it. His skin had gotten so pale, and the under of his eyes reached a deeper shade of purple each day.
"I'm so sorry, Viktor"
I put my hand on his bony shoulder. He parted his lips slightly as if he wanted to say something. For a few moments, he kept parting them and then closed them once again. His eyes glittered without staring into the moonlight dazing upon him. Effortlessly, he was beautiful, even if his body was decaying.
"Long ago, I met a man in the undercity who told me that to get what you want in life, you have to pretend everybody wants it too"
Viktor looked up, staring down into the city below. It was hard to know what he was thinking of sometimes. Such a complicated man, with such intrigue, meaning he could be thinking of anything between some diagrams on a paper and the gleaming golden hue that was the moon on piltover.
"Sometimes," he says. "I think that there is not a single person in the world who could understand what happens in my head"
He huffs a laugh to himself. "And yet, somehow, you always seem to understand completely"
My gaze fell upon him. His gold eyes gleamed in the light. Sharp features on his face highlighted how overworked he truly was, deep chiselled lines down his cheeks, droopy eyes, and tired brows.
"If I could, viktor, I would take your pain away if only for a second"
Viktor tensed his lips, jaw clenching as he turned away, almost ashamed or disappointed.
"You shouldn't say such things, Svet"
"Why not?"
Viktor didn't look at me as he turned and slowly hobbled away from me. As viktor reached for the door, he stopped.
"Because when I die, I don't want you to remember that you once loved me. For I fear, you would follow me into whatever afterlife I may go to"
And just like that, viktor left. The large intricate door was left open, and he was just gone. And for once, I didn't like the feeling that came with watching someone leave me. For once, I thought I could actually die.
-
There is nothing quite like the realisation that you have met your undoing.
I stood before the council, prepared to announce plans we had discussed for the past few days now. Although nothing has really been done except rioting and the quick rise of enforcers hunting.
"If you have something to say, please go right ahead" spoke councillor Kiramman.
I looked around at them all. My eyes landed on jayce, and then Mel, who sat beside him adorned in gold and luxurious fabrics ethereal as she always were.
"I know there is nothing I can say that will get you to change your minds about this. No words about politics or war and justice do I have that will guide you to see the true extent of our damage done to our future"
I sighed. Standing before the council, a group of important, powerful people, I knew I only had one chance to convince them to stop their battle on the undercity.
"I know you would all like to believe that there are only criminals and villains that live below you. I know that it looks like they attack without reason and that they are vicious. But no dog attacks without being provoked and that is what you are doing to these people"
I looked at them all. They were listening but not understanding.
"I know someone," I sighed, feeling tears gloss my eyes. "Who is very dear to me, someone I have known and loved since gods painted rainbows in the sky and hung clouds. Someone from the undercity who would very much like to see his home not under attack. If you do not stop these attacks and these violent wars that threaten to tear the fabric of our world apart"
When I looked over at the door, tears welled in my eyes. I saw viktor. Standing there proud, leaning on his cane with his sharp smile. Hair still dark and wavy like the midnight ocean.
I turnt back to the council.
"Mark my words here. That if there is no change. Like I have asked. You will not only see the fall of your city, you will see the fall of each other"
Councillor kiramman slammed her hand on the table and stood up. "Who are you to make any demands?!"
I stared the older woman down.
"I am a woman in love, councillor. I am the most dangerous person in this room right now"
Jayce stood.
"We have an put faith in Vi that she will lead with mission alongside Caitlyn Kiramman and bring us the answers and results we are looking for"
"You put your faith in someone who went from having nothing to lose to having everything to lose?" I questioned.
"You do not know what it is like!" Jayce yelled.
His voice echoed around the walls. I saw in my peripheral, viktor hobbling as fast as he could toward me. As he stood beside me, I felt like we were at the window again.
"Please, Jayce"
Jayce's face turnt soft, shocked. As if the sudden realisation that his best friend dying was a result of the fissures in the undercity. The very fissures that were still existing in this very moment.
You were not ashamed to say if the sight of viktors' weak and decaying body was not enough to get jayce to stop the war, then you would set fire to piltover and ensure the council would have nothing.
"Tell me, what you think we should do"
Viktor turns to look at you. With a soft smile, weight was lifted off your shoulders. Viktors' sharp, sickly face almost made you cry. You would do this for him and for the city and for the future that know everyone deserves.
Viktor grabbed your hand.
"Together"
"Together,"
---
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The following thoughts, or maybe confession, contain Arcane spoilers. Please keep that in mind should you continue. It's a long story, I apologize in advance.
Now I will say, I am no LoL player, thus unfamiliar with its lore with the exception of what I search for, or what education I get from others. I had a passing interest in Arcane due to my best friend's insistence, rambling on about its beautiful art style, symbolism, and compelling writing. It was one of those things I did in fact, try and make a habit of to sit and watch at dinner, see what all the rising hubbub was about. I'll admit, I don't know where I stopped in season one, but I didn't finish it. As I recall, the plot felt too grim. To me, it felt like it was a show getting praise for being artistically depressing. When season one's ending was spoiled for me, I was glad I hadn't got as invested as other people I knew. To have developed characters so sincerely in a season's time, just to end it the way it was done…I disapproved, and I shook my head. Forgot it all at the time.
I'm a millennial who has lived through recession, through pandemic, and I am not middle class. I'm anxious, and there are days that feel hopeless and painfully long. I want to escape into the media I consume, let characters take me on a journey with them, far away from the oppressive, hanging air of everyday life in late stage capitalism. I don't want a tragic story, no matter how much it is praised for its art direction. Moving forward every morning can be bleak enough. Maybe others like these kinds of harsh stories for its relatability, and that's fine! I am happy for those that can appreciate it in that way, but I cannot. I'm tired, and perhaps not just as a struggling individual, but as an LGBT+ person with a husband.
Mainstream, popular shows (that get shown to American audiences, at least) don't often get obvious queer representation, or when it does, the show is often cut short. I felt baited in what I did see of season one, and rolled my eyes that fanfiction writers were fed enough to work their magic and fill the holes, as per usual.
Then, the next season of Arcane releases, and my social media feeds became flooded with screenshots and spoilers. I didn't block said spoilers and told myself I was no longer invested in Arcane -- only to see the most alarming screen captures I'd ever seen.
I especially liked what I'd seen of Viktor and Jayce in the past. I enjoyed seeing two intelligent, determined male creatives share screentime and share their story of a growing, deepening friendship. As far as I was aware, Jayce and Viktor were well bonded colleagues, if not each other's 'ride or die', once mutually and deeply invested in a greater outcome to benefit the whole. Compared to the rest of what I'd seen of Arcane's first season, it still hadn't gripped me enough to stick around as I wanted to save myself from heartache. Long story short, season two's spoilers revealed to me Jayce making a frantic, truly desperate effort to revive his fallen, disabled partner Viktor after the explosion. While he's successful, this fuses Viktor with tech Jayce once swore to destroy. Jayce draws close and is just relieved Viktor, in his birthday suit at this moment mind you, is alive, while Viktor is disappointed Jayce didn't keep his promise. They go separate ways, and the scene felt like an intimate argument, a break up. Well, at this point with that much revealed to me, I was relieved to see the two of them alive after the first season's ending. I was curious again, so I continued to look at screen captures and gifsets.
Viktor develops magic skills to heal others, and in his new body things, seem to fall into place for him. He is appreciated, and maybe it's suggested he gets a following. While its unclear how 'good' the arcane is, what he's doing with it seems right for the character. It looks like a victory…until Jayce comes along and puts a hole in Viktor's chest, keeping his promise. Viktor only meant to talk to him. Jayce, who had fought so hard to revive this man, kills him, as far as I'd seen it. It felt like petty shock value. Not knowing there was more episodes to come, I thought that was it. More tragedy, more pain.
My husband knows me well. I very rarely get affected by the shows I watch, and when I do, I am reserved about it. Instead, I sobbed, the kind where you can't see passed the tears and the snot. I felt so betrayed by my curiosity, by my hopeful feelings. I spent days ranting to my friends and my husband, offended and angry. How dare these writers throw around this disabled character and give him no relief, and what was more, develop two men in such a way as to suggest one simply cannot exist without the other only to shoot down one of them, by the hand of their partner? I had let myself be baited again, and I was feeling it. It burned, it hurt, I raged. I gave up.
A day or two ago, my best friend chimed in again: I should check in on Arcane. There had been more episodes, the season had finished. Trusting they knew how sensitive I was about all of it, I did. Again, I was moved to tears, but for different, much better reasons.
What was this?
Fortiche and its writing team had bothered to weave together and tell a story of two men ultimately destined for each other through every timeline, the kind of trope reserved for romantic movies and literature? They held hands, kept each other close, were honest with each other in the starry nothing. Hand to nape, forehead to forehead, and colorfully blinked out of that current existence, together? Such intimacy didn't need a kiss or a sex scene to feel real, there was love there. Their fated, interwoven existence, their deep and complex relationship, saved the world. In the end, there was hope.
You can tell yourself that it wasn't romantic if it makes you feel better, but in all its passionate details it very much was. To this stressed, exhausted LGBT+ person in these real uncertain times, I needed to see it. I felt deep relief, satisfaction, and most of all a need to pursue the Arcane fandom, a desire to enter. To at the very least, gush about my impression of it all, and what it means to me to see two men tenderly portrayed in ways they typically aren't. Fortiche, well done. You did give the Caitvi shippers something to blatantly feast upon, you also gave lesbian characters depth and variation, but this isn't about that.
You let two male characters show dedication, affection, and softness. Thank you. Jayvik folks, I am with you. Arcane, let's start over at the first episode, I can't wait to watch all of you now.
#arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#jayvik spoilers#jayvik#sorry I just had to get that all out
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FRIENDS!? Chapter 19
🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳
Series ML
Pairing: poly!ateez × f!reader (An ATEEZ Office AU)
Genre: Mature, Angst, Yandere
Warning: mention of memories (nothing much just go with the flow).
W.C: 4.2k Network: @k-vanity
[Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead. Please always take care of yourself everyone.]
Hello, Can we be friends please?
>.<
"Wow. Congratulations to me for being late again. Ugh! Now why is this bracelet stuck here? Why is everything like this today?"
It will be less to say that your frustration is getting out of hand or you are about to blast. If anyone dares to comes in your way, you are definitely going to bury them alive because no matter what you are already half an hour late, and sleep deprived – thanks to your phone which you left on the cabin table last night without charge and well it has died during the night and your alarm didn't go off. How pathetic for your overthinking self! The main reason behind all these is that you were so tensed last night about the meetings that are going to held today so you had to prepare everything for the morning so you were ranting everything to Beomgyu. He took you to a nearby café last evening and you both had a great time together, forgetting about the life problems and responsibilities for the time being and you appreciated his presence more in this sort of situations.
You are more than relieved that he is back to the country.
''They are your friends – lovers? though ...then just be casual about this whole thing. Why are you so tense? If you ever do any mistake or say something inappropriate, it's not like they are going to sue you like other employees.''
Tried. You really tried his words to settle down in the front of your mind to calm yourself but still everything was becoming a mess, the moment he was reminding you the reality.
''Well, I would panic too on becoming the secretary to some handsome leaders of the most renowned company of the city.''
Every time he mentioned this line, you groaned and banged your head on the table, not really because he will put his hand before your head touches the wood and then his loud laugh on which people will be giving you the judging looks. Atleast, apart from all your life problems, he will still try to make you lively, diverting you to different topics and you are glad to have him with you.
I really want him to be with me always. He wants it too.
It took you two hours to finish up with the long morning schedule with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. The others were still busy with their work so it left you alone to wander around, when the both of them went to greet someone important and Hongjoong said that you should have the brunch without worrying for anything more.
"Mingi, I missed you so much."
You hugged him tightly as you were seeing him almost after one week because he was busy with overseas events and barely got time to attend any office work. Every day, you used to peek at his cabin just to get a glimpse of him but to your disappointment, the lights were off and an empty chair with a neat desk resting inside. But this morning, it's a surprise to see him walking on the 16th floor, this is one of the floors where they are like at their house. The floors: 16 to 20 are like their house so it's normal for them to not allow anyone in this section but you are allowed as you are staying here and well a part of their family.
You still wonder about your relationship with each other.
"I missed my girl too. How are you?" Mingi asked you, smiling down at you still in his hold. His eyes were shining with fondness and yours with excitement.
"I'm fine, just having a lot of work."
"Do you want some rest? If you are tired, I can give you some days and then you can be all fit and fine." He suggested when you shook your head at him.
"I'm not sick, Mingi. It's usual to get tired after working for so long. And today, there was an important event I went to with Hwa and Joong and now I came back to have my brunch and need to get back to my paper work again." You said and gave him a smile.
He nodded, "do you want me to accompany you?"
"If you are free then sure."
.
.
.
Both of you were in your cabin, you doing your work and Mingi occasionally starting a conversation on small topics and then listening to some soft music. Completing the papers and arranging them to the side, you stretched your hand and looked at your side when you got surprised by the man already staring at you and gave you a quick smile.
"I heard you went on a date with Seonghwa..." he started and licked his lips to continue, there was a hesitation in his tone but he was trying to hide it with a smile, "and you accepted him like Yunho."
You nodded, not knowing how to extend the conversation. The message you received one week back when you went to the date was still confusing you. Not telling it to anyone, you kept it to yourself because even when you thought it was just a prank yet somehow you wanted to know about it.
Is there someone else keeping a watch on you?
"y/n?" Mingi placed a hand on your shoulder when you flinched at the sudden effect. "are you okay?"
You nodded, forcing out a laugh, "yeah. I was thinking about that day. It was such a nice day."
He smiled on hearing you, "that's good. I'm really happy that you are comfortable and enjoying being here with us."
"you all really care for me a lot and there's nothing to worry about so why not to feel comfortable." You looked around, glancing at the window then back to him, "also, I still don't remember so many parts of my past yet you all are here to accompany me in every step. What more can I ask for?"
He cupped your cheek with one hand and smiled softly, "y/n..." your eyes moved to meet him when he continued, "just stay with us please. No matter how difficult the situation would be after remembering everything, promise me that you will come to us. Don't be afraid and run away from us, please."
"Mingi..." you grabbed his wrist holding your face, smiling in assurance, "are you all afraid that I might go away like I did in high school?" The silence you got in reply was enough to tell you the reason, so you continued, "don't worry, I won't be going anywhere knowing that you all are the only people I have in my life."
The moment was too peaceful between you two and he was wishing it to continue forever but could it be? He stood up from the chair, noticing your eyes on him, watching him patting your head and smiling down at you before turning around to leave. The moment he stepped forward, he paused and turned around, making you confused when he spoke up.
"Do you want to go on a night walk with me later?"
The question did surprise you a little because first of all, none of them allow you to stay out at night alone anytime and even if you do then you have to get a long hours lecture from Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Certainly, you don't want it at the moment but going out with him won't be a problem here so why not to agree?
"of course. But you all won't allow me to go out at night."
He chuckled, "yeah and here you are going on a trip with Star so don't blame us."
"that's different."
He raised his brow in amusement, "okay, sure."
You furrowed your brows, exactly knowing that he was trying to annoy you when he suddenly laughed at your adorable expression.
"y/n, we just always want you to be happy and safe. Don't misunderstand anything." He softly said.
Hearing his words, you stood up, trudging towards him, your arms wrapped around him, when he immediately returned the same gesture with his arms wrapping around you in a comforting hug, "I know, Mingi and I really trust you all a lot."
He stroked your hairs, "thanks, y/n. Also, come down to the lobby at exactly nine, I'll be there after dinner. Sorry, it's a cheap way of asking you out on a date but I wanted us to spend time alone in a peaceful atmosphere where others won't be there to butt in."
"date?" you looked up at him in surprise.
He nodded, pressing his lips tightly, "yeah, it's just I want us to get to know each other a little bit more. It's just..."
"Mingi...it's not like I only care and love those luxury dates and all. Yes, I really loved the day spent with Seonghwa but trust me, a night walk is also a great option for me. I love this too."
His lips curled up, "so, you coming?"
"wait for me."
.
.
.
It was a cool, clear evening when Mingi and you decided to go for a walk. The day had been long and busy, but as the sun dipped below the horizon and the first stars appeared in the sky, a sense of calm settled over the world. The streets were quiet, illuminated by the soft glow of streetlights that stretched far into the distance. The hum of the city had faded, leaving only the occasional distant sound of cars and the soft chirping of crickets to accompany both of you.
Mingi had texted you earlier, asking if you could dress-up in a particular style of his choice, previously you were confused on the way he wanted but upon noticing the picture he sent you, you realized it was a casual street style. After everything had quieted down, you stepped into your closet to find something exactly similar to the outfit of his choice. It wasn't an unusual request from him and you wanted to dress up accordingly—he liked these late-night strolls when the world felt a little less chaotic. You have often seen him going out alone and today, you agreed without hesitation, eager for the opportunity to catch up in a more peaceful setting.
When you met up at the lobby, he was waiting with his hands tucked into his pockets, his tall frame all in black denims relaxed but still imposing under the dim lights when you walked outside. His usual bright energy was subdued, but there was something calming about his presence tonight. He gave you a small smile as you approached, and without saying much, both of you started walking side by side, the pavement beneath cool and smooth.
The air was crisp, with a gentle breeze carrying the faint scent of flowers from a nearby garden. You both didn't speak at first, and the silence between you both was comfortable, like you were both just content to be in each other's company. The sound of your footsteps, rhythmic and unhurried, seemed to match the quiet heartbeat of the night.
Just after a few steps, he told you to wait, halting your steps and when you looked at him, he stepped away from you, walking further when he stopped and turned around, fishing out his phone out from the pocket, "strike a pose for me."
"huh?" your confusion got answered when he turned on the flash and a click sound echoed in the place. He wanted to click a picture of you, you looked down at your gray loose denim and a black jacket with a white tee and then back at the camera, not knowing what to do, you made a peace sign with tilting your head to the side and slightly smiling and quickly, he pressed the click button.
That didn't end there because after clicking you a lot of pictures – some weird, some decent. You both ended up setting the camera anywhere you wanted and striking funny poses to live the moment. It was totally giving off as if you both were two teenage souls enjoying your only free time. When you noticed the environment, you caught the marvelous view of their building, it looked better at night. The first pics he clicked were in front of that building and you felt so proud knowing your friends own that after their hard work since early days.
As you both passed by rows of houses, their windows glowing faintly with the warm light of evening, Mingi broke the silence.
"You ever feel like everything moves too fast?" he asked, his voice low and thoughtful. His gaze was fixed ahead, as if he was speaking to the night itself. "Like, life's just this whirlwind, and sometimes it's hard to keep up."
you glanced over at him, surprised by the introspective tone in his voice. Mingi was usually so full of energy and humor, always cracking jokes or teasing his friends. But tonight, there was something different in the air—something more vulnerable.
"Yeah, I do," you replied softly, looking up at the stars twinkling above. "Especially when things are constantly happening around you. It can feel like you're always being swept up in it, barely catching your breath. Just like I am surprised that it's been more than a year I'm with you all. Also, I love the peace when life is rushed because other times, you won't know the feelings of those times."
Mingi nodded, his eyes still on the road ahead. "It's like, I love everything I'm doing. The job being a CEO, attending meetings, being with my friends... but sometimes, I don't know, it feels like I'm losing myself in it. Like I'm forgetting what it's like to just be... me. and, you know, it's you with whom I can actually feel relaxed."
He let out a small sigh, his shoulders dropping slightly as he spoke. It was rare to hear him open up like this, and you could tell there was a lot on his mind.
"You don't really get a break, do you?" you said, your voice gentle. "It's a lot for anyone to handle. But as I have already said before, always come to me whenever you want to."
"Yeah," he said, his tone softening even more. "It's weird I am being like this, you know? I wanted this. And I still do. But it's just... hard to balance everything. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on the simpler things, like tonight." He gestured toward the stars, the quiet streets around us. "Moments like these."
His words hung in the air for a moment, the weight of them lingering between you both. you felt a pang of empathy, understanding exactly what he meant. Mingi, for all his talent and success, was still human—someone who needed time to reflect, to breathe, to be.
"I think it's good that you're thinking about that," you said after a pause, your voice soft but reassuring. "It's easy to get lost in the chaos when everything's moving so fast. But moments like this... they're important. You need to take time for yourself, even if it's just for a little while."
He smiled slightly, glancing over at you for the first time since he'd started talking. There was a flicker of appreciation in his eyes, and the faintest trace of relief. "Yeah... I think I needed this more than I realized. I needed you, y/n. I think I need you with me forever."
You stared at him when he held your hand and walked forward to the convenience store to buy you an ice cream and some packets full of your favorite desserts. Oh! Now he is spoiling you.
You both continued walking, the conversation flowing more naturally now. He opened up about his journey, sharing stories about his childhood and his passions, the adrenaline rush he felt when he saw your admiring eyes staring back at him whenever his gaze met with yours was beyond explainable. But alongside that excitement, there was also the pressure—the proposal he wanted to happen at the moment.
"I always want to say something to you," he said, his voice a little quieter now. "But sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try, I can't say it to you."
"just say it, Mingi. I am here." You held his hand firmly in your grasp, urging him to speak yet not pressuring to his limits.
you could hear the frustration in his words, the weight of carrying the hesitation day in and day out. "It's just what you want to say," you said gently. "I'm waiting to hear everything from you. This night is ours so let it be."
Mingi was quiet for a moment, as if letting the words sink in. "You're right," he said eventually. "I guess I just need to tell you that...I actually never proposed to you in the past. I mean we were good friends but I didn't have the courage to let you know about my feelings."
"oh...is that so?"
He nodded, looking down for a while and then again meeting your eyes, "but y/n...honestly, I have always loved your company. Staying with you is like the most relaxing and comforting time to me. I love you, y/n. please tell me, you will stay by my side, always."
You smiled, "you know even if I don't remember everything, I'm falling for you all, again and maybe it's a good sign."
No y/n, it's not.
"I promise, I'll stay by your side, I love you." You said and received a kiss on your temple and a peck on your lips before pulling you in a tight hug. When he tried to pull away from you, grabbing his jacket, you pulled him closer to lock your lips, sealing the new bond of love from friendship.
You both passed by a small park and decided to stop for a bit, sitting down on a bench beneath a large oak tree. The leaves rustled softly above you, and the night air felt refreshing against your skin. Mingi leaned back, his arms stretched out along the back of the bench, his eyes fixed on the stars above and your head lying on his lap.
"I wonder if we'll ever look back and laugh at how messy teenagers we were," he mused, his tone lighter now, almost playful.
"Maybe," you replied with a small chuckle, glancing up at the same sky. "But I think it's part of growing up, too. Figuring things out as we go. It's not supposed to be easy."
He smiled at that, the tension in his shoulders easing a little more. "Yeah... you're right. It's just nice to have someone to talk to about it."
"I'm always here if you need to," you said, my voice sincere. "Anytime."
For a while, you sat in silence, just enjoying the quiet night and each other's company. There was something comforting about being able to share these deeper thoughts with someone who understood—someone who didn't need to fill the silence with words but could just be there.
After a while, Mingi stretched his arms out and stood up, offering you his hand with a playful grin. "Come on," he said, his usual energy returning. "Let's get back. Hongjoong is probably waiting to scold us."
You pout on knowing you will get scolded again.
He added, "but this time, it's all on me."
>>>><<<<
"how do I look?" Jongho brushed his coat and turned around to ask his hyungs spread around the cabin but none of them cared to reply. "excuse me. I asked you all something."
"nothing special about your look." Wooyoung said and rolled his eyes. Jongho expected reply from anyone but him and so he glared at him before turning towards others.
He scoffed, "I didn't need your useless opinion. This is the new suit I bought last week and today I wanted to wear it on the special occasion."
Now that caught others attention. They all collectively looked towards him, feeling all the eyes as he wanted, he smirked and Seonghwa smiled affectionately, "you always look like my cute younger brother unlike the other." Both of them glanced towards San who rolled his eyes before folding the sleeves of his shirt.
"I don't want to look like him."
Jongho turned away to the eldest, "me neither. Why are you comparing me to him?"
"you are like the jolly one and he is always the grumpy one. But I love both of you." Seonghwa said with so much love and adoration for them.
Yunho chuckled, "someone is too happy knowing that she has accepted him in her life." He glanced at the eldest and then towards the man beside him and poked his side with the elbow, "so, you both went to spend your night out together. Did you two kiss?"
"that's none of your concern." Mingi spat at him when the latter just laughed it off.
Wooyoung chimed in, "whatever you all think of yourselves but I was the first one whom she kissed after joining the company." A proud look visible on his face.
"she did?" Hongjoong asked in surprise. Not only him but the rest of them were also surprised with the sudden revelation. They didn't know about this this whole time and now they were more curious about you.
"don't get all surprised. She was so sorry after that. I assured her that she was stressed, wanting to forget everything at the moment and that was the time..." Wooyoung paused and glanced at Yunho, a glint of a known feeling flashing in front of his eyes, "when I told her about her first kiss already being Yunho."
A realization set in among them but they didn't notice the exchange of glances between Yunho and Wooyoung when Yunho suddenly stood up, "Wooyoung I have something to talk about with you...alone." The younger one nodded.
"let me put this file back."
But Yeosang did notice it, he was attentive to the discussion ever since Wooyoung raised the topic of you. He even recognised the unspoken words between his two friends, and no matter how much he could deny, the same feelings are returning again.
Jealousy.
"I think I'm probably late for the meeting." He suddenly stood up from the desk.
Hongjoong raised a brow at his sudden behaviour, "you don't have any meeting. Where are you going?"
"I have one in the evening and for that I need to prepare some documents."
San turned towards his brother, "and what's your special occasion today? Why are you dressed up in a new suit?"
"I'm going to the event. Won't be returning till tomorrow night." Jongho smirked at him.
San narrowed his eyes at his reply, "and so? What's special about that?"
"with y/n."
Yeosang pulled the door open and there your hand extended, a shocked expression because you were trying to hold the handle to open the door and at the same time he pulled it open for you to come face to face with him.
"Hey, Yeosang. Good Morning."
The previous frown from his face disappeared when your glowing and dolled up look smiling brightly at him, his lips curled into a smile when he gestured you to come inside and without exiting the room, he closed the door behind him, pulling you in a hug, "Good Morning, my doll. You are looking so pretty."
"Is it?" Hearing your voice, everyone inside the room turned towards you where you were busy conversing with Yeosang. You were in straight lilac pants and a sleeveless turtleneck matching top. "Thank you."
A perfect classic business woman.
Their woman more specifically.
"Thanks for this outfit, Hwa." You thanked him and he returned a smile at you.
"You are going to the event with Jongho and we didn't know about it." Seonghwa asked while obviously checking you out in the process. You shyly tugged your hairs behind the ear, aware of his intense gaze.
You nodded, "I , myself, was not aware of it. Last night, Jongho came to my room and asked for me to tag along and that's how I ended up agreeing with him and here, I'm to inform you all about the sudden change in schedule. Won't it be a problem to you without me?" The worry in your tone was audible and Wooyoung nodded quickly while making a sad face at you, earning a smack from Jongho.
"No, sweetheart. It won't be a big deal. In your absence, Giselle can handle all these and we will try to keep up with our own." Seonghwa assured you but hearing the certain name, perked up your ears.
"who is Giselle? That girl from the account department?" you asked curiously and the tint of jealousy got their interest in you. Yunho stepped towards, standing beside Seonghwa in front of you.
He smirked, folding his hand below his chest, "why? Is there any problem?" he bent down to whisper, his breath tickling your ear and shoulder, "or maybe jealous..."
"No! I'm not jealous...it's called curiousity." You huffed, turning away from them, already your face flushing red with all their eyes on you and Yunho's flirty and seductive voice was not helping the situation, "there's so many women around the building. Of course, you have to interact with them and have so many other clients and meetings with women. Why will I be jealous? Also, I am a worker like them here, it's just they are employees and I'm your personal secretary. It's a big difference."
"okay continue..." Yunho was clearly enjoying your ramblings.
Yeah...you are clearly not jealous.
You glared at him, turning towards Hongjoong, "also they should know I'm your best-friend since childhood and you know me before all of them and I am also..." you cut yourself in between, meeting Hongjoong's eyes.
"you are also?" Hongjoong leaned forward, clasping his palms in front of his face and resting his elbow on the desk, a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. You glanced at Wooyoung leaning against the table near him and the smirk all visible on his face.
"I...I..I'm..." you held Jongho's hand, "let's go, we will be late."
"but we are going by our car." Jongho said, acting innocent.
You leaned to whisper in his ear in hurry, "take me out of here now quickly."
He nodded, "we can't leave before having our breakfast."
Seonghwa cleared his throat, "yeah. Let's all go together. Now, I'm certainly so hungry." He chuckled when he watched the disbelief look on your face. Hongjoong nodded, standing up, walking closer to you. San also smiled at the scene, seeing you all flustered because of them.
You looked around but as Yunho was about to hold your hand, you turned around, storming your feet towards the door, yelling loudly, "I literally hate you all."
"y/n..." Yeosang followed behind you closely, chuckling.
The others all laughed at your childishness and shook their heads before deciding to follow you, knowing that you obviously went to the private dining room.
"Let's go before she changes her plans with Jongho. Or boy be about to chase us down." Mingi laughed in the end.
"no need. I'm taking her out already. Don't you dare mess up my plan." Jongho glared at them before they all walked towards the door except one who was standing beside the shelf when he suddenly spoke up, making them halt their steps.
"She doesn't hate us actually, right?"
Wooyoung scoffed, "and why does it matter to you, San? You never liked her."
He nodded, keeping quiet for a moment when he suddenly raised his head, meeting their gazes at him, "because this time, I won't be able to help myself if she hates me. I want her to forgive me."
Hongjoong said quietly, "she will someday."
San shook his head, "I want her to love me."
The chapters are so fluffy because the story is about to take turns. Our EVIL ATEEZ IS GOING TO RETURN AGAIN...HEHEHE!!!
NEXT
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Taglist :
@mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @brrrkdslek-personal @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @luhwaine @ilove-taeyong @dinonuguaegi @endeav0rsb1tch @loveforred @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @sousydive @aliona124754 @tunaasan @iykyunho @jennifermakmur
(open! dm me/ send ask/reply here)
#kvanity#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez scenarios#ateez au#ateez poly#poly ateez#poly ateez x reader#ateez angst#seonghwa x reader#hongjoong x reader#ateez yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader
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Why the , fuck are you blocking your fans? They just repost artists that are Russians, and it’s not their fault that their Putin attacked you
I didn't want to write something like this on this blog but damn. I wanted to close this topic once and for all. There's quite a lot of text here but I'm just tired of being called guilty for the fact that I'm still alive
Ahem, The most important
Don't talk to me in Russian. Do I understand it? Unfortunately, Yes. But I don't want to see it here in my safe space. There is UKR/ENG in my description for a reason.
Maybe when you come to this blog, you think that I am a friendly creator who treats everything neutrally, but no.
If you repost, draw, promote any content in Russian or Russian projects - go away, I'm not happy for you here.
Imbeciles who have never experienced real thought and learn about the world solely through fandom love to tell you wrong with the certainty of a gnat. They relax in their armchairs, scroll through TikTok, think poverty means not owning a house, maybe an iPad, and maybe check one article a day on Twitter/ X — only if it's about pop culture. Then they slide in a news of someone who survived the bombing, acting like they're the moral police. If you know nothing and your understanding is woefully shallow, at least try to resist the urge to write all kinds of nonsense
"bUt wHy cAn't I tAlK aNd sPrEaD fUnNy rUs mEmEs" or "LANGUAGE CAN'T HARM YOU" of course. but the people who use it have killed my neighbors, my parents friends, my uncle, Friends and EVEN A NIECE WHO WAS NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD and many more than just my family.
destroyed other people's houses and my plans for the future
They wish death on each of us every day and the saddest thing is that I grew up with this I don't remember what it was like to live without war, do you think it was three years? 10 years? No. It was practically always like that
So you know they organized the Holocaust–Or famine , made 'fraternal' wars between Ukrainians, simply KILLED OUR NATION EVERY TIME, but we manage to resurrect ourselves almost every time, And every time they try to break us again. It's not just Putin who comes and kills everyone, it's a whole nation that steals, kills and erases important things from history, it's a nation that comes and steals and abuses and steals our children, or do a crimes to women or men.
The most big thing
I hate when westerns joke about 'soviet'
But what I hate most is when they hypocritically repost pro-Palestinian posts and are completely calm about Russians who post what a good day they are having after bombing another residential area
If you are a western that somehow supports Russians and reposts their work, arts, animation, game's, Creation
you are a bad person for me, I'm disappointed in you, get out of here, And don't you dare come back here.
Because Is it THAT HARD for you to at least try to understand what other people might be feeling? It's so hard to check that the person you follow pays taxes and continues to support the nightmare?
#ukrainian history#ukrainian genocide#fuck russia#russians in a nutshell#russia is a terrorist state#russia is the occupier#don't you dare write me nasty things#just don't funking dare#ukraine#save ukraine#save my mental health#I will block everyone rus fan's and it's not joke#and that's not all#delete later maybe
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IRINA'S PAST💙
Based on the drawings I posted earlier, now I'm going to talk a little about Irina's past and her family.
Irina was always cheerful, but much calmer before the comet incident. She lived with her mother - Yuliya, her father - Masato and her sister - Liliya.
Yuliya was part of the demon corps, she was always very kind and the most important thing for her was to protect her two daughters, she had the dream of defeating all the demons and making the world a safe place for everyone, especially for her family.
Masato is an architect (I think, that was the first idea that came to my mind) he didn't really like his wife being involved with the work of killing demons, and Irina wanting to be a hashira was a big disappointment for him.
Irina and Liliya always followed Yuliya everywhere when she wasn't on missions. Until one cold night, it was snowing a lot, Yuliya left for her last mission... She said goodbye to her husband and her daughters. Irina and Liliya said goodbye as always, they just didn't know that their mother wouldn't return from this mission alive.
A few years passed, Liliya spent more time with Masato as she liked to be safe, meanwhile, Irina was always out of the house, spending time with Kishin or training with Kyojuro.
(At that time, Liliya already knew that her mother had died, but Irina still believed that she would return, it was just taking time because it was a long mission... but that's a detail for the future🤫)
Now, after the comet incident, Irina was even more impulsive and noisy, until her father got tired and in a moment of anger went to Irina and told her to leave the house.
When Irina questioned why, he said it was part of hashira training and for her to return only when Yuliya returned home (yes, he is a horrible father😭)
Irina left without thinking twice, and on that exact day Kishin and Yuina became demons. Since Irina couldn't return home and Kishin and Yuina couldn't stay at the orphanage as demons, the three went together to the forest, where they eventually found their home.
As soon as Liliya discovered her father's cruelty, she soon ran away from home, but as she didn't see where Irina went, she ended up getting lost, so it took a long time for her to find Irina again, she only found her after a year or two🥺
(Yuina belongs to @larz-barz :3 💖)
(Forgive me for any writing errors and thank you very much for reading❤️)
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I'm not a "ship" person whatsoever but I do scroll character tags on occasion and see quite a bit of Vox and Vel together as well as what seems to be a lot of what I'm assuming is female original character stuff. I've even seen some Charlie and Vox too. So it's out there, but unless you're scrolling through character tags I can see how it might be hard to find. Personally, I also block/filter a lot of the big "ship" tags so maybe that also makes it easier for me to stumble across this stuff that "slips" through since I don't know if those pairings have names.
I get your point though. I do think many are inclined to erase his bisexuality when it's convenient. Interestingly, they also erase Valentino's pansexuality too. The same with Husk as well, but I check his tag a lot less so who knows.
What disappoints me, and I know I'm about to come off as nit-picky right now lol, is the lack of research people put into their "sexuality" headcanons for the characters with reference to their different eras. When reading some of them, you'd think the idea of "gay rights" was a completely new and foreign topic that only emerged after the early 2000s. I get people want to go for the simplistic "repressed and doesn't know what being [insert identity here] is" for some of the older characters but that completely ignores a fascinating and rich tapestry of queer history that could create far more interesting (and still accurate) stories for the characters/their backgrounds. I would really encourage those who haven't already or are generally unfamiliar to dive into this history as it might inspire their character ideas while also educate them on the work, art, and activism our queer elders have contributed to the community we have today.
I think this may partially relate to character ages being under explored as well. While I've seen debate on what is canon/has been decanonized many of these characters, as far as we know, died in their late 30s and beyond. That's a lot of life to live and experience. While certainly many people throughout history (and even today) kept their sexuality hidden from the public due to culture, shame, and safety that doesn't mean there weren't many incredible private venues/spaces that could be utilized to explore those feelings/identities in secret.
I could go on and on about this but I've totally strayed from your original point (I'm sorry!) and I'm very tired haha. I just think there are multiple factors coming into play here with these character interpretations and, for me, the biggest missed opportunity is the lack of historical research. But end of the day people should have their fun! Just an observation.
Completely agree with this! I doubt my response will be as long since I just woke up but other characters doing certain things or not knowing about sexualities is interesting, it just seems like a lot of people think older people don’t want to explore any of that like it only just happened recently as you said. I like to joke about Angel being shocked about gay marriage and not knowing a bunch of current terms but thats about it. With him being in the mafia when he was alive makes it much more interesting as well, I’m pretty sure around his time the mafia was blackmailing men in gay bars but dont quote me on that I might be wrong.
Anyway for Husk and Valentino pan erasure I see that a bunch too. Not exactly erasure but just… ignoring it? Moreso erasure on Valentino’s end because Ive seen people get mad at people for shipping Valentino with a woman and was like “hes gay dont do that” no he isnt. Also dont ship Valentino with anyone for the love of god. But like people are super used to just making up headcanons that they dont bother to look up actual canon stuff. I know Hazbin isn’t the best but if you want canonically LGBTQ+ characters use what you have and add on later. Or headcanon a background character, thats what I did with Molly.
People are very focused on modern day queerness and forget that this stuffs been happening for decades and it’s a bit sad. Also I seem to have strayed from my own question as well?? Anyway ty for mentioning this! Its very interesting 🩷
#raimble#hazbin hotel#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#angel dust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin angel#anti vivziepop#angel dust hazbin#husk hazbin#husk#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#husker#husker hazbin#hazbin hotel husker#hazbin husker#tw valentino#cw valentino
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