#being a fangirl is what makes life worthwhile

[winchestersroadhouse]

i am a in a chris kattan stan era. i just saw ur tag in a post i reblogged w gifs of him anyway have a good one

OHMYGOD??? This was so unexpected I'm dyingggg asjkajsklajsak who are you, you wonderful stranger??? Wow, yeah so I barely talk about it here or on twitter but I had this MASSIVE crush on Chris Kattan that started like... 15 years ago or so?? after I watched Monkeybone for the first time ever (because him playing a walking corpse kinda did things to me??? lol don't ask me what was up with my mind, he just kinda looked 🤌noice🤌 on this movie and I actually ended up losing count on how many times I watched it until today... I absolutely love Brendan Fraser but Chris totally stole the scenes in the final moments of Monkeybone, sorry!) and you know, I had to keep diving into his filmography so I could satisfy my obsession a little lol. I started searching for his movies on cable TV (because my internet at the time was VERY poor) and I watched A Night at the Roxbury, Corky Romano (love this silly little mafia parody haha), Totally Awesome (his Johnny Castle-esque role LOL), Undercover Brother, I even started The Middle because he was a recurring cast member... anyway, I def saw more of his works, but that's what came to mind now. I still want to watch some of his SNL era episodes because you know, the crush never goes away, it just stays half asleep haha. Funny enough, I just remembered that one of my earliest YT memories was waiting about half an hour to watch a less than a minute long vid of him in Monkeybone as the deceased gymnast doing some crazy ass acrobatics while running away from healthcare workers who wanted to rip his organs out lol he most def had a body double for this but he's a genius when it comes to physical comedy. I can't stress enough how I freaking love Monkeybone and all of its madness, it's one of my most adored guilty pleasures. Oh gee, that was a rant haha, but thank you for unlocking so many nostalgic moments, anon! If you want to talk more, I'm here for it! ❤️

[integra1127grimmreaper]

To Know Him Is to Love Him (Javi Gutierrez)

Javi Gutierrez Masterlist

Warning: fluff and angst

Summary: You've been in love with Javi for the past five years, everyone knew it, everyone one except for Javi himself. Inspired by - Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt's - To Know Him Is to Love Him.

To know know know him Is to love love love him Just to see him smile Makes my life worthwhile

To know know know him Is to love love love him And I do 

Five years. It's been five years since you moved to Mallorca, Spain to become the personal chef of the Javi Gutierrez. Five years of friendship with Javi, five years of secretly loving him and five years of watching him fall in love with another. Gabriela was a lovely person though and you couldn't be faulted for your situation, it wasn't her fault that Javi never saw you as more than just a close friend. There were instants that you had contemplated confessing your feelings to Javi, but the fear of rejection withheld you from doing so. So instead, you remained a loyal friend and confidant to Javi whilst your heart silently withered away with unrequited love.

"Good morning...", Gabriela breezes into the bustling kitchen whilst you and your assistants rushed to get everything done before the honored guest's arrival.

"Morning Ma'am", your assistants greet in return then continue with their work.

Halting what you were doing to move toward her, you flash her smile, "good morning, Gabriela..."

Gabriela returns your smile as she silently signals with a head tilt to follow her. "Is everything prepared?", she enquires once you've exited the kitchen.

"Relaxing...", you softly chuckle at her obvious nervous state, "everything thing is on track and our guest won't be disappointed."

"You're truly a godsent...", Gabriela sighed in relief.

"It's my job", you smile, giving a comical shrug and Gabriela scoffs at you downplaying yourself.

"You're the best chef ever!"

"Ok, ok...", you chuckle at her overenthusiastic behavior, and this was why no matter what, you couldn't hate her for being the one to had captured Javi's heart. With that thought in mind, your manner turned sober, enquiring then, "when will our guest be arriving?"

"Probably in the next hour or so", Gabriela responds a smile tugging at her lips. "Javi has gone to the mainland to welcome him."

"I better get back to the kitchen then", you remark, giving Gabriela a comical salute and the both of you burst out laughing as you hastily hightailed it back to the kitchen.

"I can't believe we're having Nicolas Cage as a guest!", you hear one of the maids squeal excitedly at another. Shaking your head in amusement, you leaned against the doorway of the smaller dining room, they were supposed to be cleaning. "He's so handsome...", the other one remark fanning her face dramatically, "I can't believe, Mr. Gutierrez managed to get him to agree to attend the party."

Hearing soft footsteps approaching down the corridor, you tilt backward to see, Maria, the housekeeper making her way toward you. With a mischievous smirk, you signal for her to remain silent as she gets closer. Maria stands beside you as the two inside continue fangirling amongst themselves. Shooting you an amused wink, Maria loudly remarks, "shouldn't you be cleaning?"

The two jump in surprise, nervously stammer in their apologies for slacking off. Maria and you silently shook your head as the maids run about like headless chickens to finish their work.

Leaving the two to their work, Maria and you wait until you're out of earshot to begin chuckling at the two's antics. "Handsome...", Maria rolls her eyes at the maids' remarks. "He does not hold a candle to our Javi", she teasingly elbows you in the side, "am I right...?"

"I don't know what you mean", you respond, a little flustered at realizing that your feelings for Javi were that obvious to others.

"Don't act all naive", Maria scoffs. "It's an open secret that you're madly in love with him."

"Well, I shall like it to be well-kept instead", you retort.

"You should tell him how you feel, Maria continues to press. "The two of you make such a lovely couple..."

You couldn't contain the chuckle that slipped from your lips, "if Javi were to fall for one of his employees, my money would be on Gabriela..."

"Don't sell yourself short", Maria scowls at you. "You and Javi are perfect for each other."

"Keep telling yourself that...", you drawl, patting her shoulder.

"I will", Maria confidently states. "Just you wait. One day, you and Javi will raise your family in these very walls."

"That's a far stretch", you silently chuckle with a head shake.

I'll be good to him I'll bring love to him Everyone says there'll come a day When I'll walk alongside of him

Yes, just to know him Is to love love love him And I do

*

After Javi's return from receiving the honored guest, you were in search of him; wanting to make sure if there were any changes to be made with the dinner menu. Maria had mentioned seeing him on the outer balcony, so that was where you headed.

"Worst mistake of your life...", while nearing Jav's location, you stopped dead in your track when seeing him and Gabriela in a deep animated conversation. "They make such a perfect couple. Maria was utterly mistaken in her thoughts about how Javi felt towards you."

You couldn't blame Gabriela for falling for Javi, the man was what every woman prayed for. He was so utterly sweet and caring, passionate about the things his loved. Be it writing or movies, Javi drove into it with an almost childlike enthusiasm.

Plain and simple; to know Javi Gutierrez was to love him. Your only hope in life was that he would notice how much you truly loved him.

Why can't he see me How blind can he be? Someday he'll see That he was meant for me To know know know him Is to love love love him

Just to see him smile Makes my life worthwhile

To know know know him Is to love love love him And I do... 

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

[issaxcharlie]

Owen hosts Couple tag

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Artist Fem Reader

Summary: We play pretend world guys✨ (I missed them, I’m SoRryyyy.) So, Charlie wants some reassurance after starting to prepare his proposal to Y/N and makes this “genius” plan with Owen to find her answers without being suspicious. (She totally knows tho) also a lot of friendship fighting between Owen and Y/N because I had to, I made myself laugh a lot so I’ll hope at least makes you smile🤧🤣Anyways, have fun!

This is also my weird and nonsense way of doing sweet @marvel-ousnesss request of the we play pretend couple to do a couple buzzfeed quiz 💖

The blonde takes a deep breath before picking up his phone and heading to the living room, where his couple of friends and roommates are on the couch. Charlie is lying down watching television and Y/N is lying on top of him with her face snuggled into his neck, he hugging her around the waist while gently running his fingers down her skin.

The plan was simple, to help Charlie plan the perfect proposal and give him an idea of what she expects from her wedding, they were doing a “Couple tag” video. That way the questions wouldn’t be as suspicious. Of course, there are easier ways but we are talking about Charlie. They convinced Kenny to call her and tell her that it was to promote the second season that is currently being filmed, and she agreed.

Charlie mentioned many times that someone else had to ask her the questions because she reads her boyfriend like an open book, so his improvisation had to be perfect to keep his best friend’s clever girlfriend out of the hook.

He decided to start the live from his room so as not to give the singer the opportunity to think much about it, so he sits in the living room and focuses the image on his friends who are not affected in the least by their positions. After all, everyone already knows that they are a couple and that they live together.

“Hello, I’m Y/N Y/L! And yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.” He blushes as the memory of their first night back as a couple invades the mind of the Canadian, who had his girlfriend in exactly this position when she was, as she said, 'practicing' her introduction. Sadly, this time it will not end like that night because his best friend and about 500,000 people are watching.

“Welcome to my first edition of the Couple tag everyone! Here's my first guest couple, I know it’s not much, but I promise to find someone worthwhile next time, this is just for practice." Charlie laughs but looks nervous. Instead, his girlfriend sits down and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you chose him over a puppy or a hamster." The girl says to her boyfriend while laughing at her friend's offended reaction.

“I'm going to write that down in my long enemies list, but for now I have a live to lead. Okay guys, so basically I will ask them questions and I will also choose who answers them because I’m the only one hot enough to call the shots here."

She laughs and sticks out her tongue. Charlie sits down too and she takes his hand to fiddle with it. She keeps arguing for a few minutes with Owen but shows no signs of not wanting to play the game so he starts before she regrets it.

“Okay, first one is for Charlie. How did you guys met? This is actually a good one because a lot of the fans think you met on set and are like this really intense couple who started to date the very first week without even knowing each other’s last names.”

They both start laughing at the comment. The truth is that they have seen multiple posts and comments online from people judging their relationship and how fast they were going, especially when they did that last interview together and Y/N said that Charlie was taking his sweet time to ask for marriage, since for the fans they only have one year and months of knowing each other.

“We have known each other since forever. Our moms were best friends and we were born only a few weeks apart so we've always been together. We grew up as best friends and were dating before Y/N moved to New York to play Daniela on Stardust." Charlie tries to shake off the memory of the last tearful kiss before Y/N got on the plane. Hopefully he’ll never have to part from her for so long again. Sometimes he can't even understand how he managed to get through those 5 years.

"So no, we don't know each other for just one year, but 22." She adds, kissing his nose.

"Y/N, honey. I didn't ask you, don't be rude and wait for your turn." Owen says teasingly, the girl laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Okay, rude again. Y/N, What is the first thing that he ever gave you?”

“Oh my, this beautiful valentines card! We were like eight I think. The paper is red, and it is filled with gold and silver glitter stars. Inside is a big star that has written in the middle, “My bright star, happy valentine’s day. I love you. And a lot of doodles of my favorite things, like my guitar, a microphone, chocolate, and a little Charlie. Just adorable, I still have it and to date it is one of my favorite gifts.”

The emotion with which she responds makes Charlie's heart melt. That was the first time he called her bright star, and he kept saying it to her during every audition, every performance, every practice. The exact reason not even she knows, but maybe one of these days he'll tell her.

“Rude and a liar. The 22-year-old Charlie's handwriting is horrible, the 8-year-old Charlie handwriting could only be close to a squiggle, nothing more. Oh, and probably only you had the ability to read it. I very much doubt that was beautiful."

She opens her mouth in surprise and wrinkles her nose, feigning annoyance. “I liked you more when you had a crush on me. You were nicer.”

Owen's eyes widen and he turns to see Charlie looking for help but he just starts laughing. “Wh- What are you talking about, mean girl?”

“Oh c’mon, you totally did, Ohio.” She smiles at the camara while showing a superiority face.

“Really? I already told you a thousand times, I'm from Oklahoma. But hey, how funny, forget about Stardust and audition for Funny Girl!”

“Jokes on you, I would nail Fanny Brice.”

“Man, defend my honor!”

“Bro, I can’t. You totally did, I even got worried for a second there.” It is incredible to think about how their friendship has grown and matured over time. They went from Owen fangirling every time he saw her to being really good friends. All these fights are more of a show than anything else, the truth is that when nobody is recording they tend to be very cool around each other and the three of them have quite a pleasant dynamic now that they are living together for the show.

“I won, Idaho. Now, please continue.”

“Well, my friends embarrassed me on my own live. I can already imagine the headlines tomorrow. Anyways, Charlie, Would you let yourself in danger to save her?”

Charlie starts laughing as he drops his head on the girl's shoulder. "I think she's not going to let me lie, I always have and will continue to do so. For me it's always her safety first."

"Which has given me more than a scare but he's so freakin stubborn." She adds while looking stressed and Owen can't help but imagine all the situations Charlie must have put himself in before.

“I prefer you scared than in danger, beautiful.” He grins and kiss her lips, her facial expresions relaxing at his touch.

“Gross. Y/N, do you prefer a small wedding or a big wedding?” She can feel Charlie tense at the question, so she leans her body back to support it against him and give him a lowkey reassurance.

“I hadn't really thought about it, but I know that my almost mother-in-law has been planning it all her life so you should check with her.”

His mom. Y/N is right, as always. His mom is their biggest shipper and the wedding is probably something she’ll want to be an importart part of, maybe way more than with his brothers since she adores the girl as much as her own kids, and the fact that his girlfriend is even more aware of that fact than him makes him smile.

“Do you love it when someone refers you as ‘her boyfriend’?”

“Always. Especially if it's her. She has that little knack of saying it whenever she can and it’s the most adorable thing in the world.”

“Oh I thought she was just showing it off to me because she was intimidated by our chemistry. I don't feel so special anymore.” Charlie chuckles and sends a secret air kiss to his friend, who just smirks and fakes to blush.

“How would you handle it if you thought another man was hitting on her?” Owen asks the guitarist raising an eyebrow.

“She usually takes care of that situations, her method is to take me by the shirt and kiss me hard on the lips. I’m never going to complain about that.” Charlie says smirking and blushing.

“We are a celebrity couple, for better or for worse. I’m not having him in a fight when I can just kiss that beautiful lips and solve the problem.” Charlie smiles as he wraps his girlfriend in his arms, so she can't see his face with the next question.

“What do you dream of your marriage? Mmm, let’s go with Y/N.”

“Anything will be perfect if I spend it with the man of my life. My Char is my everything and my biggest dream is to live my whole life laughing by his side.” Owen pretends to vomit as Charlie fills her with kisses under the ear, clearly moved by her answer.

“Let’s get to someting less cheesy because I really can’t with you both anymore. Has anyone ever tried to break your relationship?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Yes. We were like seventeen, and this guy from hockey had this big crush on her, so he tried to flirt with her many times even though everyone knew she was my girlfriend, until one day that he made her too uncomfortable and things escalated between him and me. Luckily my brothers intervened before something else happened because he was much bigger than me. I would have totally lost.” He chuckles while his girlfriend turns to see his face and gives him another sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Yes guys, they are this annoying all the time. How do I survive? A lot of yoga. Next question, If three guys are standing, and you have been blindfolded, then how would you recognize him? Guys we actually did this like three days ago on set.”

“It was awesome! We put my bandana on her eyes and since it had my smell she couldn't be guided by that to choose.” Charlie explains excited.

“We got the three of us, first Jeremy then Charlie and then me in front of her, then she began to lightly touch Jer's hand. Then she went to Charlie's, it didn't take her a minute to recognize him and she took him from the hair and draw him to her lips, it was actually a pretty smooth and risky move, I’ll give you a point for that, prodigy brat.”

“Char's body inadvertently reacts to mine. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, especially after touching Jeremy's hand.” She turns her head to give Charlie a soft kiss on the lips and then Owen starts laughing like crazy and telling her to come see a specific comment.

She gets up and goes to sit next to him, Owen changes the camera so that now they are the ones in the image and she begins to read aloud. “Charlie I could give you my... Oh my god!” Owen continues laughing, resting his head on his friend who simply watches the screen in shock.

“Thank god Charlie doesn’t know how to read.” Owen, who was just recovering from his giggling fit, laughs again as Charlie giggles and sticks his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Who needs to read when you look this hot with sleeveless shirts." He jokes while winking at his partner, which seems to melt in front of the camera that is still pointing directly at her.

“The man has a point. Okay, Y/N move your ass back there I’m still in charge of this show. Would you prefer a silver or gold ring?”

She makes sure to move off the screen and sticks her middlefinger at Owen before heading back to her place with her boyfriend. “Good and really random question.” She smirks, not making contact with her boyfriend. “I don't have a preference, but I would love Char to design it. Obviously with the correct guidance, but yeah he choosing every detail and then explaining to me why he choose it would be the dream.”

Charlie smiles. He was already imagining something like this after so many years of gifting and has already been visiting the jewelry store several times to make sure he designed the perfect ring for his girl, a slight feeling of pride filling him.

“Which series does she thinks resembles your relationship?”

“She loves Boy Meets World and see a lot of us in Cory and Topanga. I can totally see it too, after all they too have known each other their whole lives and have a bond as strong as ours.”

“Well that explains why she’s always telling me ‘Life is though, get a helmet’ instead of actually help me.” She grins at the memory of Charlie’s last prank on Owen a couple of days ago, it was really good since she secretly helped him plan it.

“Man, It wasn’t personal. I do the same with Char. I’m not going to be known for being the one ruining prank war. Take it to the end of the road, if you need me to take you idiots out of jail I totally will... eventually.”

“My girl, everyone. Isn’t she awesome?” He watches her adoringly and she blushes in response, buring her head on his neck.

“She always has this enormous energy and personality but all it takes is for you to see her for her to melt, that’s... kind of cute actually. Okay next question Stardust, What about If Charlie tells you to marry him tomorrow?”

For the thousandth time that night Y/N can feel Charlie stressing out. The fact that he planned together with Owen and Kenny all of this just to make sure he was on the same page with her is the most adorable thing in the world.

“I’m pretty sure he knows I would always say yes. He could have gotten on a plane when we were 18 and told me ‘I don't want to be without you, let's get married.’ And I would have said yes. He’s my person, I have nothing to think about, I have always known it’s him."

Now it's Charlie's turn to melt, and Owen himself can't help but smile.

Charlie's confidence in what he has planned is higher than ever, and the day when he can finally make it official is near. He has been dreaming of this day with his Y/N for years and he will finally get it.

“Well guys, that was it, give it up to my favorite couple of dumbasses and please stop asking obvious questions. Will I be Y/N’s maid of honor? Of course I will. Oh, and tune in next week to see me becoming Kenny’s new favorite after I challenge Y/N in a dance duel with I got the music. Golden star is GOING DOWN."

Thank you for reading✨

NEXT PART HERE

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13 , @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @dpaccione @tuttigunner

[retvenkos]

in the back seat | a.c.

National Treasure - Abigail Chase x Reader, fluff requested by @the-radio-star​

tw: none

word count: 1.5k

prompt: “keep talking, I want to fall asleep to your voice.”

A/N: don’t mind me, i’m just manifesting national treasure 3. one of these days, my prayers will be answered.

Summary: When the group is back on the road again, chasing after whatever is on page 47, (Y/n) is more restless than usual. Luckily, Abigail is there to make car rides bearable.

If there was one thing you had learned, being an old friend of Ben Gates, it was that long car rides were terrible for your back.

You couldn't remember exactly when Ben turned into the daring-escape-in-an-uncomfortable-vehicle type — you supposed it probably had something to do with him basing his entire life goal on an Indiana Jones level family legend — but for as long as you knew him, that was the gig. Being friends with Ben Gates meant acquiring odd, often illegal talents while going on treasure hunts, solving age-old mysteries from the back of old Cadillac Devilles and beat up Chevy Vans. Needless to say, when your back gives out, you'll stick Ben with the bill. It can be a little parting gift, one final way that Ben can support your eccentric skillset and peculiar taste in vocation.

"You know, you'd think we'd get a decent car for missions like these," you complained from the back of yet another incredibly cramped car - an old Honda Civic that looked like it belonged in the year 2000. You, Ben, Riley, and Abigail were going cross country again, following some lead on whatever the hell was on page 47 of the Book of Secrets (Riley still wouldn't tell you, damn him), and as always, you had to mention their choice of ride.

"If we got something halfway decent, the whole world would know we're doing something, again," Ben deadpanned, looking at you from the rearview mirror. You sunk lower into the unforgiving seats to avoid his gaze.

"Easy for you say - you always get to drive. If you were stuck back here, you'd understand."

"Well, Ben is the one calling the shots," Riley said through a grin, reveling in the joy of stealing the passenger's seat. Usually, he was relegated to the backseat alongside you, but this time he had been intent on calling shotgun, claiming that this treasure hunt was his. He had been babbling about the Book of Secrets all day long, and you were certain that his voice was the only reason that Ben was still awake, this late at night. Without his grating tones, all of you would be fast asleep.

Riley turned to you, wriggling in his seatbelt so he could see you out of the corner of his bespeckled eye. "Besides, (Y/n), Ben deserves the legroom."

You kicked the back of Riley's seat, earning an indignant "hey!"

"Oh, sorry, Riley, there's just not much legroom back here. Do you think I deserve some?"

Riley muttered under his breath and turned around. You opened your mouth to build on the momentum you'd already gained, but Abigail cut you off.

"You'll get some soon enough," she scoffed, immediately decreasing the tension in your confined space. You turned to look at her and saw that she was smiling, legs tucked to her side and eyes looking out the window, watching the streaks of color pass - white lights and neons bleeding into each other, stark against the dark of night. The colors played against her expression, almost making her eyes dance. "We'll have to stop at some point, and then we can push Riley and Ben into the back."

"But this is my mission!"

"I'm pretty sure the president told me to look at the page."

"Not everything is about you, Ben."

You rolled your eyes at your idiotic friends in the front seats, and Abigail caught your eye. The two of you laughed softly, just barely audible over their arguing.

"How are you at all comfortable back here?" You shifted in your seat, pushing your back to the car door and pulling your knees to your chest, ignoring Riley's condemnation of your refusal to wear a seatbelt. You scoffed and looked at Abigail with a wonder that almost bordered on exasperation. For having mocked your treasure hunting lifestyle when the two of you first met, she sure was comfortable in it. Even on day one, Abigail had managed to fall in step with the rest of you, as though she had belonged at your side all along.

Even in the most irritating of situations, Abigail looked at home when she was traversing the world with the rest of you, and she fell into her role very well. It was Abigail who talked Ben down from his more insane ideas. It was Abigail who stopped you from throttling Riley when he blasted Britney Spears' "Toxic" when you were in the middle of a car chase. It was Abigail who always knew what to say to boost Riley's confidence. And it was always Abigail who knew some clever bit of knowledge that would save you in your hunt for treasure. 

She was like the glue that held your group together. Without her, you would have killed Riley long ago, and Ben would be creating international scandals of epic proportions - his offenses so terrible that not even his friend, the President of the United States, could save him. Even with Abigail, all of you should have been in prison for life, a couple times over. You couldn't imagine what the fallout would have been without her.

It was staggering, really, how you managed to get so lucky as to find her.

"I'm not at all comfortable," Abigail replied, and there it was - that conspiratorial sort of smile that never failed to take your breath away, filling you with a warmth that made all of the insanity worthwhile. It was rare to see such an expression in a moment like this - Abigail usually reserved smiles like that for victories, those little wins that the four of you got when solving riddles and outsmarting your enemies. It was nice to see it in the back of a shoddy, four-door compact car that you were certain would be the death of you.

"Then are you regretting your decision to stick with us?"

"Not for a minute."

You scoffed, tucking your head into your chest. Abigail tapped her pen against your legs, still jotting down notes by the half-light that filtered through the window. You allowed yourself a smile that she couldn't see, and Abigail made some remark that your current position had to be even more uncomfortable than you last.

 You hummed, feeling exhaustion settle into your bones - just not enough for you to drift off to sleep. "Why did you decide to stick around, anyway? It's not like Ben makes it any fun."

You heard a scoff from the front seat at your comment, but you were listening for Abigail, and her voice was the only one you cared about hearing.

"Is it not enough for me to say that I want to make sure you don't steal the Declaration of Independence again?"

"Not nearly."

"Then I'm a good samaritan, making sure you don't do irrevocable damage to important historical artifacts and holy lands," Abigail said, and you could hear the smile in her voice, reflected in the care with which she spoke each word. You smiled and closed your eyes. As long as Abigail was here to keep you company, maybe long car rides weren't so bad.

"And?" you mumbled, prodding for her to continue to speak - if only so you could hear the sounds of her voice, gentle but strong, intelligent but soft.

You heard her chuckle and imagined the way her lips curved. "And I stick around because I like all of you, despite everything, and I want to make sure you find the treasure with minimal casualties. Besides, you need me. Can you imagine trying to solve riddles without me? You'd be lost."

"Actually, we were faring quite well on our own before you complicated things with the Declaration," Ben interjected, his self-important voice souring your mood. 

"Oh, and you think you would have been able to pull the rest of it off without me?"

"Yes, actually. You underestimate us."

"Oh, shut up, Ben." You rolled your eyes, and Riley let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. "We all know about your eight Ph.D.'s in history. I want to listen to Abigail." You shuffled in your seat one last time, finding the most comfortable position you could find. "Keep talking, I want to fall asleep to your voice."

It was dark in the back seat, but you saw the surprise on Abigail's face, and maybe you were already dreaming, but you swore that her cheeks flooded with a blush. Her stunned expression soon disappeared, though, and gave way to a smile.

"Alright, I can think of a story or two to tell."

"Perfect."

"Gross," Riley spoke up from the front seat, the teasing in his voice laid on thick, "get a room, you two."

You kicked the back of his seat, and Riley yelped. The car erupted with comfortable chuckles. 

-- taglist: @fangirlings-things​ // message me if you want to be added!

[im-totally-not-an-alien]

"Well," Genesis growled, "If you had any concept of romance than you'd realize how beautiful that play was. I cant believe you two!" He gracefully wove his hands through the air, articulating his dismay, "Heathens! The both of you!"

The three top 1st class SOLDIERS where sitting at a cafe near the theater of LOVELESS Avenue, where they had just finished watching a romantic tragedy at the behest of thier red-clad friend.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "I have no need nor desire for an intimate relationship."

Angeal crossed his arms but stayed quiet, he knew how these fights usually played out and he didn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

"When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end, The goddess descends from the sky, Wings of light and dark spread afar. She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting."

"Loveless. Prologue." Sephiroth said with a small smile.

"So you do have some taste!" The redhead cooed.

"No. I've only memorized it, from your constant repeat proformances." The silver general shot back.

Genesis scoffed and placed his gil on the table. "My treat." He insisted before the others could argue. "Besides, we need to find Seph a date." He winked at them.

Sephiroth scowled, "Genesis, no."

"Genesis, yes! Don't worry, I'll find someone quiet enough not to bother you, and brave enough not to tremble at the sight of you."

The silverette sighed, surrendering, "No. Fangirls."

The Crimson commander grinned, "No fangirls."

Sephiroth shot his friend a glare, "No fanboys, either."

"Ugh. Fine."he groaned as they got up, "This will be a difficult task indeed."

"Now you see why I've never bothered." Sephiroth began leading his friends back to the tower.

"Perhaps, but you can't be expected to live your entire life alone." Angeal reasoned.

"I have you."

"As sweet as that may be, I refuse to kiss you." Genesis snapped.

"Why dont you pray to your precious goddess for a solution?" Sephiroth asked, in a rare show of sass.

"Alright, fine!" He stopped in the middle of the walkway and clasped his hands together in prayer. "Oh, great goddess, Minerva! Guardian of life and keeper of souls!"

"Genesis! Your making a scene!" Angeal scowled as people stopped to stare.

"I ask you help guide my dear friend to his fated partner! His eternal love!" They waited a few moments, but nothing happened.

Angeal sighed, "I don't know what I was expecting"

A sudden crash made them whip thier heads around, only to see amororcycle toppled over on the cobblestone street. The wheels were still turning, but the rider was nowhere in sight. "What the-"

Sephiroth looked confused for a moment before holding out his arms, catching a blond man in them a moment later. Cat like green eyes locking onto horrified blues, they stared at each other as the four of them where pelted by rain.

"What the hell?!" They were broken out of thier trance by Genesis's yelling, "There's not even any clouds?!"

The blond suddenly began thrashing in his grip, landing a punch to Sephiroths face before fleeing to his bike. He mounted it and was gone before they could catch him.

"What just happened?" Angeal asked, wide eyed.

"Genesis isn't allowed to pray anymore." Sephiroth deadpanned. He tenderly rubbed his jaw, where the blond had hit him.

"Like hell I'm not. I'm going to ask for the death of Hollander and Hojo next. Mabey we'll get lucky?"

"Wait, Sephiroth," Angeal started, "Are you...hurt?"

Genesis spun around and watched the silverette nod. "He cracked my jaw. It's almost healed now, so don't worry."

"He-What? How?" Genesis was gobsmacked. Sephiroth had so much mako in him, that his bones might as well be made of steel. For someone to be able to harm him so significantly was unusual.

"On second thought, if you're rendered speechless after every prayer than perhaps getting attacked is worthwhile." The general grinned, dodging a well earned fireball to the face.

"Now is not the time, we need to submit an incident report immediately. A mysterious man fell out of the sky!" Angeal scolded them like children as he marched them back to the tower.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess..." Genesis muttered, before smirking. This was going to be fun.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

As it turned out, the mystery man was more trouble than they originally anticipated. Someone had broken into the Science Division floor, and left the corpses of Shinras top scientists, including professors Hojo and Hollander in pieces. There was no evidence that it was thier mystery man, but it was certainly suspicious.

The general and his commanders wisely kept thier mouths shut about Genesis's prayer session and it's seemingly dire consequences. Sephiroth could just tell there would be a few extra stacks of paperwork on his desk tomorrow, though he couldn't bring himself to mind much.

He made his way up to his office, feeling unusually happy. Everytime he closed his eyes, he could see those pretty mako blue ones staring back at him. He usually didn't take much stock in the whole, 'Gift of the godess' thing, but there were too many odd events in such a short timespan. It was all too convenient.

He walked through his door and locked it behind him, ordering his secretary that he was not to be disturbed, then sat down at his desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, intending to make a list of all the odd occurrences.

1. A womans voice spoke to me after Genesis finished speaking. It told me to hold out my arms.

2. The man and his motorcycle fell from the sky.

3. The man fell into my outstretched arms.

4. The man had a significant mako glow in his eyes, belaying a high degree of enhancement.

5. He seemed afraid of me.

6. He was capable of outspeending both Genesis and myself.

7. It rained on us, despite there being no clouds in the sky at the time.

8. The science department was attacked soon after.

9. I felt a sense of "Euphoria" while holding him. A homecoming. Like I had found a place to belong and the rest of the world no longer mattered. My whole body was filled with the need to be as close to him as possible and I never wanted to leave. Is this "Love"?

Sephiroth stared at the paper trying to think of another incident to add to the list when he heard his secretaries startled voice telling someone that they couldn't come in, only to be berated by the other individual. He sighed and climbed out of his comfortable office chair and unlocked the door. He immediately regretted it when Rufus ShinRa of all people burst in with a handful of turks. He recognized Katana and Shuriken, but not the other. "How may I-" he began but was cut off by Rufus's panicked voice.

"My father is dead!"

The general stared at him owlishly, "...What?"

[a-40k-dad]

The Expanse up until now and expectation for the future

I am truly enjoying where this is going. SE5 had some flaws but overall quality is as good as one can hope for. They even dealt with Cas Anvar’s character in a way that will completely go unnoticed as to why it was really done. Also Alex’s character went through something that was supposed to happen to Fred Johnson in the books so it makes it really acceptable to book fans.

Same with the inclusion of characters originially discarded from the TV adaptation such as Bull. Book fans are stocked to see him get a whole new life in this season and non book fans will just have. to start. liking him! *threatens non-book fans with a handgun to their temple*

I’m really glad Ty Franck has been so involved with the show and that the shooting family is so united from actors to writers up to the show runner (Naren Shankar) who feels like a very love-able nerd himself.

Okay I’ll stop fangirling and move onto why I believe that stopping (or pausing) at SE6 is a good idea...

Without being too spoilery, I can say the story after book 6 gets :

1) A big ass three decades time jump

2) As hinted by season 5′s finale the story gets far more alien-techy. It will create a narrative rift that I feel, an immediate story follow-up might just lose casuals over.

Better maybe create more hype with rewatches and fan-base growing and let actors age a bit and recreate a new series à la stargate show or star trek or maybe find other ways like feature length production route.

But taking a little break and weighing in the options is not a bad idea at all considering what’s left in store...

Also the final book is coming out by the end of 2021.

But anyway I hate this show because it has definitely ruined my ability to suspend belief with newer scifi shows. I can still look at old star trek and be like “it’s old and looks so fake but what matters is the stories that are told” whereas new startrek HAVING NO WORTHWHILE STORIES TO TELL make me unable to watch it without going mad. Oh wait that’s star trek’s fault, not the Expanse’s.

Anyway. Still waiting on my ROCI model...

Come quick it’s my birthday soon!

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Still not comfortable coming off anon, but I wanted to thank you for your kind words. You're absolutely right. Those two sadistic psychos managed to write Jon Snow doing the one thing that was guaranteed to send me spiraling. If I told anyone else in my life that stupid show had me on my living room floor bawling my eyes out on SEVERAL occasions they'd look at me like I was crazy. (1/?)

But I did trust Jon, I put my faith in him because there was nothing in Jon that resembled my father - who abused me, my sister, and my mother. But then at the end, it was like that was all I could see when I looked at him. D&D are literally devils, ugh. I hope their careers rank and this travesty haunts them for the rest of their lives.

                                          .  .  .

You're very welcome, anon. That’s what I’m here for. ♥

I don't hate or even dislike many things if I'm being honest... and aside from say, human injustices, there isn't anything I hate more than D&D right now. I don't think that I quite grasped just how far-reaching fiction could be until I saw what they did to the fanbase - me included.

I remember when I found out the leaks were true. I was sitting at my kitchen table awaiting a delivery. I had read the leaks, and my phone vibrated - someone sent a spoiler video of Rhaegal's death. I knew in that moment every word was true of what they did to Daenerys, and I just broke down. My husband happened to come into the room at that exact moment and he didn't have a clue how to handle my reaction - which admittedly looked a bit unhinged. Because while he liked the show as a casual viewer, he's never fallen in love with a fictional character to the degree that they felt like they were a part of him. It felt like something inside of me had been ripped out and set on fire right in front of my eyes. It had me questioning everything I thought I knew.

And not even just Daenerys or Jon. Sure, I may be a trash shipper, but I'm also a very hardcore fangirl. I had an investment in dozens of characters and the future of their houses. I had an investment in prophecies and theories and mysteries that were never addressed, I had an investment in the state of Westeros, in the MESSAGE that this globally impactful series would have on actual earth - and just... my heart was bruised and battered. In the end, there was nothing. No answers, no resolution, no message.

Or perhaps worse yet, like in your case, it affirmed the worst about people and relationships. If there was a message to be had in Game of Throne's ending it's: don't bother to be a good person because it doesn't pay off, don't make friends because you can only trust family, love isn't real or worthwhile, revolution is evil, don't try to change because who you are was predetermined at birth and there's no escaping it... and I don't even want to get into what the message might be regarding mental illness... because it's too gross to even type.

If themes are for eighth-graders, then David Benioff basically admits that his aptitude as a writer is at a level lower than that of a child. 👍

I'm happy to hear that, at least prior to season eight, there was nothing in Jon that resembled those who abused you. If nothing else, that might just bode well for his book counterpart. Yet I'm still devastated to hear that by turning Jon into a traitor, the writers left you no choice but to see your abusers in him whenever you see him. We watch fiction to escape from that. 😞

I think most Dany fans put their trust in Jon because well, she did. As a fellow Dany fan, I'm sure you would agree that she hasn't been wrong about much - and she's been particularly good at judging men and their motivations. So, not only are the writers telling us that we were wrong about Jon Snow all that time - but that Dany was wrong, too. And not just about that, but everything. They really argued that taking justice out on evil men was bad. But of course, these were the writers that thought the perfect ending to Missandei's story, a freed slave, was to have her die not only in captivity but in chains.

Similarly, it's an insult to Jon's judgment, too. Even people who hate Jon and can't forgive him must at least agree that he was right when he put all of his eggs in the Daenerys basket. After all - she proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was an altruistic and selfless leader who would use her power to save others - even a handful of men - showing no hint of regret for her decision to help others even though it cost her dearly.

Luckily, we have countless critics who have spoken out about these inconsistencies with the writing. About how tone-deaf it was. I know D&D's careers won't be ruined by this, unfortunately, even though they've proven themselves as incapable writers. The epic failure of their choices, however, will absolutely haunt them throughout their career and will forever be a stain on their legacy, as it should be.

Woooo, guess I still had a lot to get off my chest!

[thedyingmoon]

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

LXI. Farewell

***

When he finally managed to send his complaining sister home to rest, he turned to (F/N).

"I need to speak with you." Erwin said to her. He looked at Levi, who just took it as an order from him to leave the room and give them privacy. "It's just for awhile, Levi."

"No need to tell me." The Captain muttered dejectedly, then turned away from them and opened the door. "I'll just accompany your sister and the brats home. I'll come back here."

"Thank you, Levi." Erwin said in genuine gratitude, making Levi pause for awhile before finally leaving the room, giving the two of them privacy.

He turned towards (F/N) and gestured with his good hand to the chair beside his bed. "(F/N), please."

(F/N) shyly and nervously sat, still unable to look Erwin in the eye.

For a few tense moments, none were able to utter anything, until the Commander finally broke the silence between the two of them.

"I understand that you have chosen Levi." Erwin whispered, making her look up at him in total surprise. "I mean Captain Ackerman's test."

"No, it's not that! I,... just don't want you to die,..." (F/N) uttered and looked down at her lap where her fingers were fidgeting.

Erwin smiled, knowing full well that she was not lying, but also knowing full well that what she said was not the actual truth, either.

He reached out towards her and lifted her chin gently with a single finger, making her look at him in the eye.

"I understand, (F/N). I truly do." he said, smiling at her.

The sight of him really took a toll on (F/N)'s conscience. In the blink of an eye, she was on his knee, clutching the sheets and sobbing uncontrollably.

"(F/N), stop crying,..." he told her, his hand on her head.

"I never wanted all this! This is all my fault. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry,..."

All of a sudden, (F/N)'s apologies brought a painful memory back to him that he practically grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him. And despite his remaining, complaining limbs, he hugged her tightly, yet gently, not wanting her to leave his side. He kissed her head and let her cry unto his chest, drenching his white shirt with her own tears.

"I realized how foolish I really am." he whispered to her. "Wanting to give you a life you truly deserve while taking advantage of it for the sake of gaining the truth,... I did not only hurt the woman I love, but I also never gained anything worthwhile. I even sacrificed my own comrades for it. And in the end, I lost everything. How foolish I really was."

Erwin sighed and looked down at the head on his chest. He wanted so much to kiss her  and make her his, but he also realized that if there was a chance to come out clean in front of her, no matter the cost, it should be now.

And as he inhaled sharply, he prepared himself to share the only truth that he knew of.

"(F/N), listen to me." he said, making (F/N) look up at him. "I once loved a woman named Marie. Yes, she's the Marie you knew as the wife of my friend, Nile. And I still do, up until today. But, that was actually what I only believed in. I thought that I would forget her by turning to you, but I was wrong. I did not forget her, but my feelings to her were forgotten, because I learned to love you."

(F/N) looked into his eyes, searching for some clues that he was lying, like last time when he proposed to her, but there was none. Only tears, sadness, and most of all, regret.

"I should have known that I have forgotten my blindness towards her a long time ago. I should have realized my feelings towards you from the start. I should've told you a long time ago. Then, we could've avoided all this from the start. My pride as the Commander prevented me from letting you know. My pride was really the one who hurt you, not Levi, not Kenny."

"Erwin,..."

"I was the one who inflicted you those wounds and bruises. I was the one who caused your memory loss. I was the one stole everything away from you. I was your only pain and nothing else. And now, I'm setting you free."

"Erwin? What is the meaning of this? I - "

But, she was interrupted when Erwin pulled her even closer, crushing him against the hardness of his body and facing her fully, his face just an inch away from hers.

"Please, allow me this one last time, then I'll let you go." he whispered gently.

"Listen to me, Erwin! I - "

But, her words drowned as he took her lips fully into his own, moving against hers woth complete gentleness that was quickly turning her into warm liquid. She was slowly melting into his arms despite her protest, and when she finally gave in, Erwin deepened the kiss, savouring these last moments with her.

Last and very, very precious.

And when he finally stopped before he could do anything else that would put them into a whole different kind of trouble, he reluctantly pulled her away from him.

"Now, you are free." he said with those unbearably hurting eyes.

"Erwin?" she said.

But, he just gently pushed her away from him. "Farewell, (F/N)."

She couldn't do anything but stare at him in disbelief. He really was saying goodbye to her.

He really was setting her free.

"Goodbye, Erwin." she said, and went towards the door. She opened it and was about to leave him, when she saw him looking down at something in his left palm and crying hysterically,...

********

It was almost daybreak when Levi returned to the Stohess District Hospital. And when he was about to enter the building, he felt someone staring at him. He turned to his right and saw (F/N) at the edge of the building. She was really looking at him, and when they finally met eyes, she turned and left, going around the other side of the building. He followed her there. He saw her there sitting at a single bench facing the empty courtyard.

(F/N) instantly felt the moment Levi arrived there, and when she looked up, she saw him looking down at her with utter concern. She was sitting at the other end of the bench, so he just took it upon himself to sit on the other side, not really wanting to take too much liberty and sit right next beside her.

She cleared her throat and prepared herself for what's to come. Her heart was still hurting after what happened between her and Erwin, so she decided to come out clean in front of Levi now.

"Captain Levi." she began.

"(L/N)." Levi answered with her last name by instinct after being addressed as a superior.

"I - I understand that you gained your strength back." she finally said, which made his eyes widen in surprise. What was she up to?

"Yes, I did." he said. "And I' am grateful to you for helping me. I' am glad."

He turned to look at her and saw her smiling. She stood up and walked away from him, distancing herself from him for about six feet. And when she was finally at the right postion, she stood up straight and brought her fist to her left chest in a solemn, yet powerful, salute.

Levi's senses suddenly grew both weary and tense as he realized what she was really up to. He stood up and went towards her, only for her to step back.

"(F/N), what is the meaning of this? Tell me, please." Levi asked, a complete feeling of dread washing all over him.

"I have served you well, Captain Levi. It is time for me to fulfill your order." she told him.

"What order?! We're not in the Legion right now! I - "

"You ordered me that when you get your strength back, I will stay away from you, as far away as possible."

"(F/N), listen to me very closely. Forget what I said back there. I was wrong! I never wanted you to leave me!" he explained, growing more and more frantic. "After what Kenny did back there? After what YOU did back there? Stay with me, (F/N). Please!"

But, then, she just smiled at him, tears flowing down her face.

"I have made my choice. I believe I told you this. But, if not, I will gladly tell you. I will follow your orders, whatever it takes. You ordered me to leave and not show my face anymore. I will gladly follow it."

"(F/N), you said you will never abandon me,..." Levi pleaded, but it all turned out to be really useless. So, for one last bargain, he told her, "I love you, (F/N). I really do. Don't leave me, please."

There was a few moments of silence. And when she finally moved again, it was not go near him or throw herself at him, no. Nothing like that. She saluted him once more and said,

"Sir, requesting for permission to leave, Sir!"

It was then that Levi knew that he lost the battle. He stood up straight as the officer that he was and gave her an equally revering salute. Then, he gave the permission,

"Permission,... granted."

She smiled at him, brought her fist down, and finally left him, going back inside the hospital. She ran towards the upper floor, locating the room by memory alone. She arrived at the door and literally flung it open, making the occupant shocked. She walked towards him, took his left hand and opened his palm, revealing two rings that they once wore.

"(F/N), what are you doing here?" Erwin asked her, not really expecting what she just did.

She did not answer. Instead, she took the smaller ring and wore it to her left ring finger, herself, making his eyes as wide as plates.

"(F/N)? Are you sure about this?" he asked, but then, saw the look of complete misery in her mourning eyes.

Something was not right.

"I'm here now, Erwin." She smiled despite the heaviness in her heart. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

Meanwhile, Levi was still standing at the courtyard, not knowing that Hange, who just arrived and witnessed everything, was looking sadly up at him.

"You - " she began. "You just let her go?"

She was really against his decisions, but when he turned to look at her with tears in his eyes, she understood completely.

"I don't deserve her, Hange." he told her. "I never have."

Then, he smiled.

A vulnerable and hurtful smile.

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @nerdyphantomlady , @chocolate-mmilk , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

***

[courtinginsanity]

An Open Letter to Negative Reviewers

Let me preface this by saying thank you. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to drop me a comment. We live in a fast-paced world so I do appreciate you choosing to reach out to me when you could be doing something far more worthwhile, like cutting your toenails.

We teach our kids not to give out personal information on the internet to keep them safe, and we teach them about the importance of the block button in a bid to prevent them from becoming another statistic of cyberbullying. When do we teach them not to be the asshole? And for that matter, why is it that I feel like I need to write this open letter to grown women who should know better than to choose nastiness over kindness? Why do we need reminding that if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, you shouldn’t be typing it online?

As a fanfiction writer, I’m no stranger to critical reviews and downright horrible comments. The culture we’ve cultivated teaches us that we should embrace this meanness, that if we receive a ‘flame’, that’s how we know we’ve ‘made it’. While this is well and good in private groups and chats between writer friends, how do we really feel when we lay in bed at night wondering if we should even bother posting the next chapter of the multi-chapter we’ve spent months, perhaps even years, planning and writing and editing? At what point did we give our power over to the reader, and should we be demanding it back?

Now let me say that you, dear reader, are absolutely entitled to your opinion. Absolutely. I’ve read fanfiction I don’t like—hell, I’ve read actual published books I don’t care for. Do I feel the need to tell the author I didn’t like their story? No. Why? Because honestly, I have better things to do with my time. Also, I’m a proud feminist and I believe that as women we should be focused on supporting each other rather than finding reasons to tear each other down. Call me crazy!

Dramione is my home. I feel a little bit like Sybill Trelawney here, standing in the Hogwarts courtyard all teary, begging not to be kicked out of the one place she truly felt like she belonged. Think about that for a second. Think about the analogy and what it represents—the reality that some of our writers face; this is their home. This is their safe space. You have no right to enter it and attempt to tear it down. Sure, come in and enjoy the warmth and sense of family by all means, but don’t go putting on your fluffy pink cardigan and strutting about like Dolores Umbridge; the world is definitely too small for more than one of her.

“But it’s the internet—writer’s know what they’re getting into when they post online.”

We do. And maybe the reason the fandom isn’t even bigger is because potential writers see the shit we deal with on a daily basis and (perhaps wisely) make the decision not to post their work. Reflect for a moment. You may actually be responsible for someone feeling like they can’t share their craft because of the comments you make online. And you know who that affects? YOU. You, as the reader, are missing out on what could be some of the most amazing Dramione fics, because you are actively discouraging people from either joining the ranks of Dramione writers, or continuing to produce Dramione stories that you claim to love so much.

Reviews are not there for you to dump unsolicited opinions and advice. If you really want to help a writer improve, PM them and start a conversation. Don’t open with ‘hey, I think you need to work on these areas of your writing…’ Actually get to know them! Tell them what you enjoyed about their story, and then ask if they’d be open to hearing some constructive critique. If you want to offer some solutions, be prepared to offer your services. Don’t dump your opinions on the writer and then walk away; you clearly have knowledge and skills that could be valuable, so offer to beta or alpha.

The Specify and Respect Movement

I’m making it my mission to promote this at every opportunity. This was actually started by a friend of mine and it is so powerful. As writers and readers, we should all adopt it. The S&R movement lets writers signpost whether they are open to constructive criticism or not. It is your responsibility, as readers, to respect the wishes of the writer. So writers, let your readers know if you’re open to concrit or not, that way if you do receive a not-so-nice review, you can refer them back to your request that they don’t offer unkind opinions.

There is no excuse for being nasty. You get to choose your actions and behaviour in life, and no one is forcing you to leave a review at all. There is another human being on the other side of the screen and it is not okay to use your opinion to hurt their feelings. I’ll reiterate—there is no excuse for being an asshole. Your opinion is not necessary and not helpful, no matter how much you may think otherwise. If you have the knowledge and skills, then use that to make a better decision about how you interact with people you may be able to help. Yes, they made a choice to post their story online, and YOU are making a choice whether or not to be a decent person.

Choose wisely.  

My writer sisters

I see you. I see you slaving over that multi-chapter fic that just won’t come together the way you thought it would, the multi-chapter fic that feels like it will never be done. I see you comparing yourselves to other writers; I see you obsessively checking your emails for reviews. I feel your elation when someone fangirls in your inbox, and my heart breaks along with yours when someone has chosen not to be kind to you and your awesome talent.

I’m here to tell you that you are my sister and I love you and appreciate what you do for this fandom. Without you, there wouldn’t be a fandom, simple as that. You are incredible and amazing, and you deserve to have people read and praise your work.

Let’s start a kindness movement. Use S&R, and tell your friends about it. Link it in your response to nasty reviews, and call people out on their bullshit. Don’t answer with emotion, but rather the womanly intelligence that can only come from being a powerful freaking goddess. Find your friends and support them with a fierce fire; lean on them for support when you need it.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by a negative review, please reach out to me. I’m happy to chat, to help you cultivate a response, to talk to you until 3am when the tears have finally stopped. We are a family and I will support you with everything I am.

If I can leave you with one final, parting thought, I want you to remember something: Hermione wouldn’t take this crap, and neither should you.

Love always,

CourtingInsanity xx

Link to S&R movement: http://malreviews.blogspot.com/p/the-s-movement.html

[dropintomanga]

Mental Health, Cosplay, Drama, Fujoshi! - The Anime NYC 2019 Experience

I just survived another hectic Anime NYC and this year’s event continues to be an amazing event for all anime fans living in the NY area involved. Also, this con recap post is going to be very different from the usual posts as this is going to be a very personal one.

This year was the first time I became an exhibitor in any convention setting. I helped out Anime for Humanity in handing out their prized Anime Therapy Kits for attendees. It was a bit nerve-wrecking at first as I came in on Friday after work and had to get into things real quick, but my fellow volunteers were helpful in lighting the way. I was amazed at the amount of people who came by and asked what Anime for Humanity does. There were a decent number of mental health professionals that attended who praised us for what we do. I’ve been waiting for something like Anime for Humanity for a long time now as I don’t have the resources/knowledge to build my own organization.

There’s one experience I’ll talk about while helping AFH that touched my heart. I decided to do a bit of networking outside of the booth at a photo shoot for cosplayers with physical and cognitive disabilities. While there were mishaps, the shoot happened. I got a chance to talk to the organizer and her friend after the shoot about AFH and gave them the Anime Therapy Kits. They both were grateful for hearing about how such an organization exists.

The organizer’s friend, who turned out to be a doctor working in behavioral health, told me that it was people like me that make her job worthwhile. I was speechless because it’s professionals like her that are the real heroes. I’m reminded of when people tell me “You’re so strong/courageous/resilient/etc.” No, I’m not. I have messed up a lot over my life and I realized that my self-hatred was really hampering me back in 2016, so I started to make changes. I also think everyone has the potential to do something better for themselves with the right support.

Still, I appreciate what that doctor said because making important changes to your life is absolutely harder than it needs to be.

So mad props to AFH and I’m grateful to them for giving me the opportunity to help them out over the weekend.

(Me with Anime for Humanity at Anime NYC. I’m at the lower-right.)

But wait, I’m not done yet. I guess I should talk about my continued grief with an old friend of mine (which I discussed here) that I had a near-anxiety attack over 2 years ago. The two of us did re-connect for a bit earlier this year, but the timing was awful due to life circumstances. I stepped away because I just felt angry at her and myself. I saw her on the last day of the convention when I decided to visit some friends dealing with post-con exhibit booth cleanup. I didn’t want to say hi, but my heart just made me greet her. We both talked and she also recognized two of the friends I was with. They met earlier at my old friend’s Artists Alley booth (side note: Artists Alley at Anime NYC this year was nuts in a good way. There was something for everyone.)

Before the con, I was contemplating on whether I wanted to see her as I wanted to focus on AFH. Focus on the present, not the past. I don’t know what came over me when I said hi. I think it was because there was no real closure. I also had some things I wanted to say to her before I moved forward. 

So I let her know that I was grateful for her presence in my life. I was grateful for all the times we spent together. I told her that life was kind of dull without her and suggested that I’m doing okay for myself. She said she thought about me and wondered if I was going to be at the convention. She also told me that she doesn’t hate or dislike me.

When I thought about the hate/dislike part, I listened to a podcast episode about a mental health advocate’s experience staying at a psychiatric hospital. He talked about how for years, he thought that the layout and nature of the psych hospital was meant to say that society hated him for his mental illness. It took him years later to realize that psych hospitals are the way they are (locking people behind doors) in order to protect patients from hurting themselves and other people. What if they got a hold of something dangerous (e.g. a kitchen knife)? That’s not a good thing, right?

Over the past year, I kept on learning about multiple perspectives and realized how much people are being forcibly occupied with life in bad ways. They’re just unable to deal with so much going on. It’s not their fault. I finally realized that with my own eyes and ears after seeing my old friend again. I think she had to step away from me, so I wouldn’t get caught in her troubles which would hurt us both in the long run.

To be honest, my grief made me want to quit anime conventions for good. I was so tired of thinking about her. I didn’t know if I was a freaking masochist for choosing to go to Anime NYC every year to deal with anxiety. I’ve always thought that it was either I go or she goes.

I made it a habit to choose neither (I even told her this myself). It was hard over the years and now I think my choice to go in-between is finally paying off. We both had a moment together that was more meaningful since I finally was open to discussing the bad stuff and my own vulnerabilities. I don’t know what’s going to happen and that’s okay with me.

I'm still going to attend anime conventions. I’m not going to ignore the influence she’s had on my personality and I’m not going to ignore the fans who could love someone like me in their lives. I feel like I’m only just getting started. When the time does come for me to step aside, I will gladly do so. It’s just not now.

I want to end this by talking about fujoshi. Well, why, you ask? For starters, the old friend is a fujoshi. The two friends (who already met her at Artists Alley) I met up with when I ran into her are both fujoshi. Also, the old friend said she didn’t want to go to Anime NYC, but her friend and Artists Alley partner-in-arms (also a fujoshi) heavily insisted that she does.

What I want to say is that I’m fucking in tears with gratitude over knowing a bunch of fujoshi over the years. It’s so funny how things really do come full circle. 

I had a wonderful fujoshi friend for years before life shitted on us, met some new fujoshi friends after that, then everyone formally met this year at Anime NYC due to the “ex-friend’s” fujoshi friend request for her to come, and in the end, meeting up with my current fujoshi friends allowed me to run into that old fujoshi friend and allowed me to FINALLY have the meaningful conversation I wanted to have (even if it was short). Yikes, try to say this all fast. 

I know there are people who crap on fujoshi and sure, your criticisms have some validity. For me, my experiences with those same fangirls have allowed me to be myself. I truly felt like I was the real me around them. I will love those girls until the day I die. I’m rotten like you are and damn proud of it.

Never would I have expected that a few girls who are really into pairing two-dimensional boys together helped me enjoy life during times when I felt so alone and gradually come to terms with the complicated feelings I’ve been processing over the past 3 years. 

Thank you so fucking much. You fujoshi really are powerful.

So yeah, it was an emotional roller coaster this time around. I suppose I could say that every year of Anime NYC for me has been like that. I wanted to tell anyone that enjoys going to fan cons is to always appreciate the friends/peers who spend time with you there. Conventions are almost always so much better when you have someone to share your fandom with. I’ve been very lucky and hope others feel the same. I would also encourage fans to give back to their fandom communities in a meaningful way. It can’t be just Anime for Humanity making an impact.

Also, never, ever let someone define when you should “move on” or “let go.” That’s not how going through adversity works for a lot of people. I will admit that I’m different in a good way and still hurting.

Well, that’s that. Hope you enjoyed what I have to say. Thanks for reading this through and here’s to more enlightening adventures at anime conventions. 

[narutxuzumaki]

ochako and momo for the character ask!! 👀

Yay! Two of my fave characters! Starting with Momo cause it's her bday. Gonna put this all under cut cause it’s long. Thank you nonny for the ask!

Character Ask

Momo Yaoyorozu

Favourite thing about them:

What isn’t to love about this character! Her intelligence and ambition. She’s a normal teenager with insecurities but she still pushes past them to do what’s right. Her quirk is absolutely incredible as well and I just really love how entirely ineffable she is. She doesn’t simply focus on her own development. She offers help and support to her other classmates and when need be criticism cause she knows that the only way up is together. 

least favourite thing about them:

Lol her costume. I tend to pretend it doesn’t exist simply because there are so many better designs on Tumblr

Favourite line:

“We've got to start at the bottom and work up! And if we don't earnestly cheer each other on... we'll never be top heroes!” Listen I adore that she isn’t just out for herself. I adore that she’s focused on creating a wonderful space where they can all push each other and grow whilst also focusing on her own development

BrOTP

Listen I enjoy a TodoMomo friendship as much as the next person but could we consider a KamiMomo. They’re canonically good friends and Kami’s dumbass mixed in with Momo’s who is a genius but also very much a dumbass is genuinely very beautiful to me.

OTP

I really love MomoJirou cause collected punk rock girl catching feelings for a semi-collected rich girl is the chef kiss. Also so many wonderful tropes there but also I’m quite literally stuck in rarepair hell so also momochako. I mean opposites attract is yes! 

NOTP:

I really don’t like romantic TodoMomo. Again there’s nothing wrong with it and rich kid club is everything to me but I typically view these two as lesbian/gay solidarity. 

Random headcanon:

1A, excluding the rich kid club, had to teach her how to budget and do normal people things. Also, like I know this is if not will be disproven by the manga but Momo being related to Nana and thus Shirigaki’s sister is quite literally everything to me. Also cause I’m feeling Momo in this chilli, she’s absolutely gonna break into the top ten ranking. She’s so smart and has an incredible quirk and is a great character. Her building her own agency straight after UA as well. She would and she could! 

Unpopular opinion:

She’s a lot more than her body but also at the same time she’s sixteen and is pushing the boundaries on what she can and can’t get away with in wearing. Hori is gross for designing her like that but also in mind, she always grows up and changes her costume to something that works better for her and doesn’t so thoroughly sexualise her. This isn’t all so unpopular but something that isn’t focused on so much, she’s hella ambitious. 

Song I associate with them:

God is a woman because Momo proves that She is/ 

Favourite picture of them:

God isn’t simply a woman, she’s Momo Yaoyorozu 

Uraraka Ochako

Favourite thing about them:

Uraraka is probably my favourite character. I adore how determined she is. I love that even when she fails, she changes her methods of doing things and learns new things cause she refuses to be stagnant. She’s compassionate and kind and there are so many underrated moments of her literally saving the day and doing amazing. She’s so blunt and whilst I don’t think that many of the characters are scared of Bakugou, I love how unperturbed she is by him and the fact that she’s always willing to throw down. People focus largely on the rescue aspect of her and that’s a big part but the girl also enjoys fighting. 

least favourite thing about them:

I really wish that she got more panel time outside of thinking of Deku. I do think we as fans exaggerate how much she thinks about him and she’s had amazing moments outside of him but I just really want her to get a proper arc.

Favourite line:

“I want to save people.” I adore this line because it really shows her growth. There’s never anything wrong with wanting to make money for those you love but I definitely think that before Uraraka saw heroism as a way to getting what she needed rather than something that might have been worthwhile within itself. But here in this quote, she’s seen hero work as something entirely different and just experienced a highly traumatic situation and instead of that pushing her away, it pushes her closer. This kind of feeds into my hc that heroes didn’t really work within her area because it was a highly poor area that didn’t offer clout in the same way that bigger cities did so UA is her first proper interaction with heroes and all of it is nothing like she imagined. 

BrOTP

Definitely the Dekusquad cause their friendship is so wholesome and sweet. More specifically Deku, Iida and Ochako, the original three. I also really love Kacchako as a brotp. Uraraka is the annoying girl who keeps on giving him shit but with a smile and Bakugou absolutely loses it but also respects her a lot. He actually said her name and that means a lot to me. 

OTP

Momochako as said before, Ochajirou, MomoOchaJirou but also Minachako, Meichako and Iidachako and Izuocha when I’m feeling a certain way. I ship this girl with a lot of people lmao

NOTP:

Kacchako, this ship used to my OTP and was my first introduction into BNHA but I think I just prefer them as friends cause I don’t feel or like the ship anymore even though I love the art from it. 

Random headcanon:

I’m gonna give future Ochako hc’s because I did a longpost on her childhood. Uraraka with a buzzcut and tattoos is everything to me. I also hc Uraraka as not being born and raised in Japan. She’s half Ghananian on her mum’s side but was raised in the UK until her dad decided that they should move to be closer to his dying mother. It takes her a while to adjust especially because she didn’t really fit in but she does. You can still hear the British accent. Also, she owns an agency with Deku and Iida cause the original three and is ranked in the top five. I once read a fic with that and it stayed with me for life. She had a relationship with Deku but they broke up and she moved past wanting to be like him. She never has kids because she knows how hard it was for her parents but she adopts a boy that she stumbled on during a mission and takes him as her own. Also, she’s the traitor cause I want it lol

Unpopular opinion:

She’s a lot more than Deku’s fangirl. There’s a lot more to her than Deku. She’s strong and growing stronger and finding her place as a hero and discovering who she is. All without him. Whilst I don’t think its ever healthy to bottle your feelings, she’s not simply doing it for him, she’s doing it for her and cause she wants to be better. Hori can’t write female crushes but there’s nothing wrong with her being inspired by Deku and hopefully, if Hori stops being a coward we can get an exploration of the darker side of Uraraka’s crush on Deku. She’s a lot grittier than people think. She literally was willing to drop a whole stadium of rubble on someone so she could win. She jumped onto Deku cause she thought he needed help even when she didn’t understand. She came third against everyone else in the entrance exam. This girl isn’t soft. She doesn’t have the luxury of being soft and messing up cause she’s doing this all for her parents. She’s all glossy sugar layered over a centre of steel. 

Song I associate with them:

Fight Song! Cause she pushes forward and never gives up. Insecure but she doesn’t have the time to stop

Favourite picture of them:

She is the mother I never had. She is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend everybody deserves. I don’t know a better person. 

[chilled-soul-speaker]

In-Character Interview!

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. (Tag as many as you wish)

I was tagged by: @ariela-of-aedyr (thanks!!)

1. What is your name?

Snærún Dökkvatn. Technically, Dökkvatn was the name of my clan, not my last name. Many documents here in the Dyrwood were very insistent that I have a last name.

2. Do you know why are you named that?

From what I have been told, I was given my name by my parents as a way to wish for success in life. I was slated to become the next Runecaster, what is considered to be a Wizard in the rest of Eora, and so the name I was given roughly translates to “Snowy Rune”.

3. Are you single or taken?

Single.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I have trained in metaphysics and have a decent understanding of how to manipulate arcane energy with spells, and about a year ago I gained the powers of a Watcher.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

…What is a ‘Mary Sue’?

6. What’s your eye color?

It’s brown, but recently I’ve been observing that they sometimes appear purple. This could be caused by liberal use of my Watcher abilities…*leans elbows on table with a serious expression* It might be worthwhile for me to contact Adaryc and compare…*trails off*

7. How about your hair color?

*snaps back into focus and sits up straight* Ah…it’s white, like most of my clan members.

8. Have any family members?

…Technically, no. The other three children that survived my clan’s destruction were adopted by other clans and are no longer considered my family. I do consider my friends that I traveled with this past year my family now.

9. Oh? How about pets?

It seems I have many. *sighs* Edér seems to have snuck in many dogs and cats into the keep over the past year, but after some training, most of the dogs have turned into fine guard dogs, and the cats do well with managing the local rodent population. I don’t consider my wurm, Nils, a pet though. He is also one of my companions and is beginning to learn Aderyan.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now, tell me something you don’t like?

Well, that’s a broad question. I’m not fond of the weather here in the Dyrwood, it’s too warm for my liking. But, if I’m being honest, I haven’t been satisfied with anywhere I’ve lived temperature wise, with the only exception being my visit to the White March.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I like to keep my hands busy, so I have quite a few that I focus on. When I’m not studying, I work on leatherwork, enchanting, alchemy, and herbalism.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

It is my belief that you cannot live without harming someone. It is kith’s nature to harm one another, even if it is unintentional.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

*sighs irritably* Yes, but only if I was forced to and the assailant threatened me or my companions. I do not take pleasure in killing, but I do not shy away from it either.

14. What kind of animal are you?

*sly smile* I’ve been told by my new acquaintances in the nobility that my adversaries assume that I am a lamb; naïve and innocent, unknowing of the world due to my beginnings in the Wend. They soon learn that I use that façade to make them underestimate me. I have heard whispers that I am called the ‘White Wolf’ by those that survive my attacks.

15. Name your worst habits?

*thoughtful look* Edér has told me that I have a habit of expecting people to understand me without me explaining anything. This has caused some problems between me and my friends a bit. I’m working on improving this. I also tend to make quick judgements on kith and situations without taking much consideration into the larger picture.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

I look up to my friends for different reasons. They all have something different that I admire about them (excluding Durance) and I strive to emulate those aspects in everything that I do.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

…I suppose bisexual. I have had relationships with both men and women.

18. Did you attend school?

*long sigh* I was supposed to attend Bragganhyl with support from a patron but…things happened, and I burnt down that patron’s ship. So, I am mostly self-taught, with some tutelage from past employers as well as help from Aloth.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

Marriage…possibly. I’m not against it, but I think my partner would have to be the one to bring it up. I don’t believe the need of some sort of binding ceremony for partners to prove their loyalty to each other. And…kids? *sharp exhale* Never. I don’t deal well with being around children.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

If I understand what the Steward reports to me, I am well respected by my employees and some of my fellow acquaintances in the nobility if that is what you mean by ‘fan’?

21. What are you most afraid of?

Heights is the easiest thing to say. I absolutely abhor having to climb up and down with a sheer drop nearby. But, to be completely honest…*long pause* Gods, it sounds ridiculous saying this out loud…children. It is nothing against them, but seeing children brings back horrible memories from my childhood.

22. What do you usually wear?

If I am training, usually just my trousers and breast band. If I am expecting guests or otherwise working on the upkeep of the keep, I have a loose dress. When I travel outside of the keep, I have the same leather armor that I had when I first left the Wend, modified for the hotter weather, of course.

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

I haven’t had it in many years, but I do miss the flavor of Ysae. It is a fish from the waters near the Wend with a very sweet taste. I prefer it pickled like many Glamfellan along the coast make it. The closest to Ysae I’ve had in the Dyrwood have been the speckleback fish that we caught in the March.

24. Am I annoying you?

…This interview has gone on for quite some time. I’m beginning to tire.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

*slow exhale* Well, continue then.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Due to my travels, I have lived in the low and middle classes. I suppose that currently with my ownership of Caed Nua and its surrounding lands, that I would be considered high class now.

27. How many friends do you have?

A few close ones.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

*wrinkles nose* It’s either too sweet or too bland. I can eat the savory pie from Guilded Vale, but that is never my first choice for a meal.

29. Favorite drink?

I make my own blends of tea from the herbs I grow here at Caed Nua. *quiet laugh* I have been told by my friends that they are too bitter for them to drink without anything to sweeten the drink.

30. What’s your favorite place?

…That’s a difficult question for me to answer. At the moment I would consider Stalwart my favorite place. It reminds me of my homeland.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

*long pause and looks away* Yes…but I believe that we need to find who we are outside of a countrywide crisis before I consider pursuing him. We were, and are, dealing with our own personal problems. Plus, he had a mission that he took on, and I could never be selfish and keep him from that call.

32. That was a stupid question…

*looks back and narrows eyes* Maybe you should have considered your questions more carefully before coming here.

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

The lake. The ocean’s saltiness irritates me, and I hate washing off dried salt.

34. What’s your type?

I assume you mean in romantic relationships. I prefer people who understand that I am flighty and not likely to stay in one place for too long. Loyalty, bravery, and a clear head have always attracted me. Someone who can sit with me to spend time with me quietly, or someone that I can talk to for hours on end about an assortment of topics would be ideal, I think. I could go on, but I would not bore you with that.

35. Any fetishes?

That is an inappropriate question.

36. Camping or outdoors?

…Both? This is not a very clear question. Do you not camp outdoors? Or are you asking if I prefer to sleep in a tent or under the stars? If that, I prefer a tent. There are a number of unsavory bugs in these northern countries that I will not stand being near me as I sleep.

[kenshi-vakarian7]

OC Interview

I was tagged by @obvidalous .  Thank you.

I’ll tag @ripley95things and anyone who wants to do this.

I’ve done this already for the following;

Kira Ryder Adam Shepard Marc Shepard

1. What’s your name?  

Luke Nathan Skywalker Ryder

2. Do you know why you are named that?

I was named after Luke Skywalker.  No, seriously!  My Mom’s a huge Star Wars nerd and wanted to name me and my sister Luke and Leia once she found out she was pregnant with twins.  But my Dad, who’s never been fun at parties, put his foot down over the names.  They eventually compromised and name my sister Kira.  Kira’s glad she didn’t get the Leia name, but me personally?  I would’ve thought it was awesome.

3. Are you single or taken?

Taken. ^_^

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I’m not the world’s biggest tech geek or anything, but playing around with some tech and seeing how they work is pretty cool.  I even have a combat drone!  His name is Excelsior!  And yes, the exclamation mark is part of the name.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

*shakes fist* NEVER!

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue

7. How about your hair color?

Dark Brown

8. Have any family members?

Well, there’s my Dad, Alec, and my Mom, Ellen.  Mom used to make the best hot cocoa every Christmas.  Then there’s my twin sister, Kira.  She’s a bit more serious than I am, but she’s still my best friend anyway. :)

9. Oh? How about any pets?

Sparty and Sparty Jr. are awesome.  That’s my pyjak and hamster... though I’m not certain if he’s really called a hamster.  He looks like one, but... yeah.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

You mean besides Tann’s opinions on the krogan?  Well... there’s the Archon.  Fuck that guy.  I also hate getting up at the crack of dawn.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

Have you ever tried Paintball or laser tag?  If not, it’s great!  I also like watching movies, camping, rocking climbing, dancing, and waxing poetry with Addison.  That last one is definitely fun. >:)

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

Only when I’m forced to. =\

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

*sigh* Yes, but that’s only because they don’t give me a choice.

14. What kind of animal are you?

Well I did want to be a crow, but Gil claimed that already.

15. Name your worst habits?

People say I don’t take things seriously.  I guess that’s true in some cases.  People also say I joke at the worst times, especially in a life-or-death situation.  Hell yeah I do!  I’d rather die laughing than screaming.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Definitely Vetra since, you know, she’s taller than me. ^_^  Nah, I’m kidding, I know what you meant.

I’d say my Mom.  She was always kinda, compassionate, and always supportive of my sister and I no matter what we set out to do.  I miss her...

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

 Straight.

18. Do you go to school?

Not since high school.  I was considering going back before I was told about Andromeda.  The idea of going on adventures in a new galaxy appealed to me more.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

Sure, I’d like that.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

I’m sure they’re out there somewhere.  I just hope they don’t turn out like that one Sloane fangirl I met at Tartarus that one time...

21. What are you most afraid of?

 Me?  Afraid?  Nah, nothing scares me!

...Okay, actually, I hate the idea of dying alone.

22. What do you usually wear?

Anything comfy... preferably my pajamas, but society considers that inappropriate for everyday wear.  So I have my jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket to wear.  That’s a favorite of mine.

23. What one food tempts you?

Oranges.  Always oranges.  If I ever get my own place, I want to grow an orange tree in my backyard.

24. Am I annoying you?

Well, if I’m being honest, the questions are a little... unusual.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

-Looks at his watch- Sigh...

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I’m totally high class.  Top hat, monocle, all the perks that come with that kind of society.

...Actually, that’s all in my head, I’m actually middle class.  But a guy can dream.

27. How many friends do you have?

If we’re only talking about the ones here in Andromeda, it’s definitely more than I can count on my fingers and toes.  I’ve met some really great people

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Why, do you have pie?  ...What do you mean you don’t have pie?!  Don’t mention pie unless you have some to share!  Now I’m sad...

29. Favorite drink?

I like my coffee and whiskey... sometimes at the same time... but I would never turn down a big glass of orange juice, especially with a big breakfast.

30. What’s your favorite place?

Here in Andromeda?  Definitely Meridian.  It’s an amazing planet that made the search and fight worthwhile.  I plan to settle there once I retire as Pathfinder.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

I am, and she is the most awesome turian in two galaxies. ^_^

32. That was a stupid question…

Uhhh...

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

A lake that’s not filled with sulfur... or ice... or boiling hot temperatures...

34. What’s your type?

AB... Oh, you mean THAT type!  Well, definitely someone who likes to laugh.  I’d hate to make a poor soul feel tortured at my attempts to make her laugh.

35. Any fetishes?

Uhh... do I have to talk about it?  Because I prefer not to talk about it.  Not that I have anything to hide, but... yeeeeah.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

Outdoors.  Which reminds me, I need to go... outside, so... later!

*quickly leaves the interview*

[gabrielxreader]

Flattery Gets You Everywhere

Request: Hi there! I’ve seen requests were opened, so if I’m not late. I wanted to ask if you could do Gabriel x reader, where reader meets the archangel for the first time and is totally fangirling (if not drooling) over him. And right away, he appreciates her strange behavior and asks her out

Author: Holly

Warnings: None, I don’t think

Characters: Y/N, Gabriel, Dean, Castiel, Sam

Word Count: 1,314

Y/N = Your Name

            “Is this necessary?” You asked with a grimace, flicking your hands to get the splashes of oil off. “Why can’t Cas just, you know, do his diplomacy thing?”

            “Cas? Diplomacy?” Dean snorted and capped the gallon of holy oil, then shoved it back into his car’s trunk. “Look, we’re summoning a douche. I want to make sure he’s trapped under threat of angel barbeque before he can do any douchey things.”

            “… So what you’re saying is you’ve tried to kill him before and he’s understandably sour about it,” you interpreted. In your experience, angels are usually jerks, but not without being prompted. The angels that allied with you for the sake of humans and Team Free Will weren’t likely to do any harm.

            “No,” Dean started to say.

            Castiel tipped his head at Dean. “Haven’t you stabbed him through the heart twice?”

            “At least,” Dean coughed, somewhat proud. “He had it coming.”

            You shook your head. Dean may have no respect for angels, but you do. You have to. Your family had been religious and you carried those values. Since you were thrusted into a life of hunting, you’d learned that angels, unfortunately, aren’t all they’re cracked up to be; but some of them, like Cas and Hannah and Balthazar, do deserve respect. Their power is awesome, regardless of what it’s used for, and they were created by God to serve a purpose. Angels deserved at least a level of respect to start with. You reserve your right to lose that respect, but only if they turn out to be like Zachariah.

            “Let’s just get it over with,” Sam huffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms defensively. Apparently the angel they wanted to summon had a bit of a history with the Winchesters, although they assured you that he wouldn’t take it out on you. According to the younger brother, this ally had a very strong sense of karma, so you were comforted by the knowledge that you wouldn’t be screwed over by the brother’s violent tendencies.

            Dean clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms, then cleared his throat. Loudly, he started to pray. “Gabriel, who art runneth his ass anywhere but Heaven,” he said, mocking the old English style of scripture.

            You snapped your head around to Cas. “Gabriel? That’s who we’re summoning, the archangel?” You could barely believe it – sure, it had occurred to you that he was real, but… oh, wow, oh, wow…

            Between one blink and the next, there was a fifth person standing amongst your small party. He snapped his fingers, irately interrupting Dean. “Alrighty then, bucko, I’ve heard enough.”

            You stared. You couldn’t help it – this was Gabriel, an archangel, an archangel who wasn’t a total asshole hell-bent on destroying the world. Michael and Raphael had been angels you looked up to, and they had been such disappointments. When you asked about Gabriel, Raphael had told you he was dead. Now you realized he must’ve just been presumed dead. He was a blond, which you supposed matched up with the stained-glass representations you were familiar with, but that was about all. There was no sash, no archaic horn, and no long, curling locks of hair. His blond was dark and almost brown, he had on very modern jeans, and a canvas jacket which looked well-worn and slightly big for him. What you really liked, though, were the eyes – no human you ever knew had eyes that close to the color of molten gold.

            Dean scowled at Gabriel with familiarity. You were just shocked silent. “You’re supposed to be there,” he griped, pointing emphatically into the circle of holy oil. Without it being on fire, it just glistened on the ground.

            “I’ve fallen for that one already, Dean-o,” Gabriel scoffed, looking insulted. “I know you two run around making the same mistakes a hundred times in a row,” he said, sending a sidelong glare at Sam. Sam’s expression became stonier – there was a meaning there that you didn’t understand. “But some of us try to rub our brain cells together a little more vigorously.”

            Gabriel looked around at his summoners with narrowed eyes. His expression lightened only a touch when he saw Cas and nodded to him. “Cassie.” Castiel’s lips tightened slightly but he didn’t audibly object to the nickname. Gabriel’s eyes settled on you a second later and you felt awash in uncertainty and awe. The archangels were the most responsible, most powerful, and most awesome, in the original sense of the word. And you had one surveying you, unsure what exactly to make of you, your little human self. “You picked up another stray?”

            “I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself quickly, shoving some loose hair back behind your ear. Part of you wanted to shake hands but the stronger part was rooted to the spot, inspired and a little bit intimidated. “You’re… wow. Oh, wow,” you just said your broken-record thought process out loud, then blushed a little bit.

            Gabriel smirked at you. It was confident, not totally sincere, but it was also friendly and lacked any offensiveness. “Now you can have permission to say my name.” He winked at you and you felt a little lightheaded. The Archangel Gabriel is flirting with you.

            “You –“ You spluttered and knew you were embarrassing yourself. Sam looked sympathetically embarrassed and Dean muttered an ‘oh, jeez.’ “You told Mary – and-“

            “I did,” he said thoughtfully, turning reminiscent. “She was such a lovely girl, too. Real pity about the whole unplanned pregnancy thing. Joseph didn’t believe her at first and almost left. Not that they had fantastic sex ed at the time, but even they could put two and two together. Well.” The smirk playing over his lips became more mischievous. “At least, they could put a-“

            “Gabriel,” Castiel snapped, a little mortified.

            You didn’t care about how vulgar things almost got. You were just so pleased to be speaking with him, and so impressed. You felt honored to be hearing firsthand about how the Virgin Mary received her enlightenment.

            Gabriel sauntered over to you slowly, gracefully skirting the ring of holy oil so he didn’t get locked inside it. Dean quietly complained and chucked the lit match he’d been holding behind his back off into the grass and stomped on it to put out the flame. The angel peered at you intently and you felt like your entire soul had been bared; you held your breath.

            “It’s been a long time since I actually met a fan,” he said conversationally, hands behind his back, standing there with poise and ease. “My social calls are usually more for attempted murder and revenge. This is a change.”

            You had to remind yourself to breathe evenly. “Um, thank you for coming,” you said, remembering your manners and nearly kicking yourself. “We’re sorry to bother you-“

            “Am not!” Dean indignantly called.

            Gabriel waved Dean off. “Don’t worry about it, sugar,” he said, “Meeting you makes the trip worthwhile.” Your eyes widened and your blush deepened. If your face got any redder, you were going to pass out. “Though it’d be better if Thing One and Thing Two and Thing Three weren’t all eavesdropping. Why don’t we take it somewhere just us?”

            You gaped at him, and, forcing your body to catch up with your screaming brain, you nodded fervently. Having his interest was an incredible compliment, and being alone with him, getting the chance to know this being and to pick his brain a little-

            “Yes!”

            Gabriel smiled at you, his demeanor losing its intensity. He turned so he was standing beside you and put his arm around your shoulders, which gave you an immediate, tiny thrill of static. “You bozos have a good time twiddling your thumbs. Me and Y/N are gonna go have some fun and maybe talk some shop.” He winked. “I’ll bring ‘em back in one piece.”

[pastelbrachypelma]

I just had the realization that I am, in fact, a creepy fangirl.

Getting attached to a real life human being in the way that I used to be attached to fictional characters? What gave me the right to do so?

What gave me the right to crave a deep, emotional connection with someone I didn’t even know, and will never know? What gave me the right to come to a stranger for comfort?

I’m just as bad as anyone who sent him messages, who drove him away, who forced him to emotionally shut off behind the camera. I’m just as bad as those people because I selfishly wanted that connection. I wanted to feel cared about by a complete stranger, even though I had no right to feel that way.

I regret the day I began watching YouTube, and I regret the way it makes me feel. I hate myself for the way he made me feel, like I was worth something. Like my presence in the world meant something.

I hate the way I can relate to his life experiences. I hate that I learned from them, that I felt comforted by them. I hate that I kept watching, kept listening, kept being pulled in.

But I’m in too deep. Something that he is a part of is my hyperfocus, and it’s not going away. I still love that thing. A big, big part of me still loves him, still wishes for his happiness and safety. A big part of me wants for him everything I will never have, because I can’t have it, because I’m not special, or worthwhile, or important to anyone. 

That love isn’t romantic. That love never caused me to do anything wrong that I can see. I only dared to want to make him smile, when, really, he’s just a distant celebrity. And he knows what to do to keep his audience, his relevance.

I fell for that charm, that illusion. And I fell so easily and so deeply that I am now drowning without it.

But I am part of the problem. And my fate is well deserved.