#being a burden

[green5quirrel]

CW: Death, dying, mothers

This is to everyone who fears being a burden when they are dying (and also when they get older and are no longer able to function the same way they used to).

You ARE going to be a burden.

By that, I mean, you are going to need from others things that you can no longer do yourself. You are going to not have the faculties to be who you have always been. This will manifest either physically or mentally (or both). This WILL cause others to have to treat you in a way that you currently perceive as being a burden to another person.

This WILL happen.

Yes, this will even happen if you happen to die suddenly while completely healthy. Or if you die without anyone outside of your immediate circle knowing of your struggles.

You will absolutely be what you envision as a burden.

Your death will cause sorrow and pain. Your slow decline will cause grief and sadness. Your need for care will take people's time away. Your personality changes will cause confusion and anger.

I urge you to accept this. I urge you to not try to avoid it. I urge you to lean into your decline and be open and truthful and genuine during it. I say this for one reason:

My mom being a "burden" to me was the most moving and most precious gift I could've gotten from her. Being allowed to take care of her in a way I had never had the opportunity to do before was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But it was also the most fulfilling thing I've done.

I can't tell people not to feel guilty about their own needs becoming more than they want to inflict on others. I can't tell you not to feel like being a burden is the worst outcome. But I can tell you that letting people into your struggle is an ultimate act of love and compassion.

Because you will never avoid causing people distress by your decline. You can't control how you leave this world. You can't control what your body does in the end. I don't care how healthy you are or what provisions you make to guarantee a graceful death.

So, at the very least accept that you will be a burden. Let love guide that journey. Let gratitude for others wanting to help give you the strength you will no longer have. Let people love you. Let people lose sleep because of you. Let them be angry and afraid and confused. And let yourself be that as well.

That's my message for today that I woke up with.

It's not only about making the best of the precious moments when our loved ones are happy and healthy. It's about being present and loving the moments when they are not healthy, not who they once were, not able, and dying. Because those moments mean just as much if not more.

At least they do for this one person while they reflect on their mom on this day of mothers.

[angelnumberdigest]

[melmov]

I cast: curse of the eldest (can’t ask for help)

[mobius-m-mobius]

#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches

[lilyflxwers]

sources: ophelia, act IV, scene V // traci brimhall, dear eros // unknown // suzanne scanlone, promising young women // destiny, fieldplates gauntlets // camille rankine, emergency management // fatima aamer bilal, being unwanted is a language // unknown

[chronicpaingirlie]

as much as i appreciate the intent of the “being disabled doesn’t make you a burden” type posts, i don’t really agree. a lot of times being disabled DOES make you a burden

& i think that maybe we should try to shift focus to the fact that even if you’re a huge burden on society and can contribute absolutely nothing, you’re still a human being who deserves to exist.

like. there’s nothing morally wrong with being a burden on other people. you aren’t a bad person for needing to rely on others. you’re allowed to be a burden & disabled people who are burdens on others, i love you

[drenched-in-sunlight]

family tea party.

(in my mind, Radagon is the pure Order with no kindness half, and he always yearns to converge with Marika + be on equal footing with her, so in my drawing he’ll always be kinda nuts)

[demigods-posts]

think it'd be really cool if percy could teleport using water. just needing to be in direct contact with a water source to transfer from one puddle to the next. cornering monsters in damp alleyways like it's no one's business. foregoing the subway when the forecast calls for showers. crossing the ocean quicker that you can say pacific. quality content.

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

Alright Tumblr, who's it gonna be?

Obvious Bait or Boxy Boo Trix Rabbit?

[nosleepgummitato]

but what if. . . what if he wasn't always a ball of beaming sunshine?

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

Deeply obsessed with how Anthony Bridgerton will do anything and everything for the vibes, the ambience and to set the mood for his wife

Why did he lift Kate up halfway to the ceiling just to simply set her down on the desk? THE MOOD, THE AMBIENCE, THE VIBES

Why did he scatter the papers after setting her down as opposed to clearing the desk beforehand? THE MOOD, THE AMBIENCE, THE VIBES

Because of course scattered papers are an essential aspect to heir-making on a desk!!!

[mollysunder]

The real sign of the inevitable dissolution of Jayce and Viktor's partnership/friendship really was the Progress Day Speech. I've seen people say this scene highlighted the growing shift in priorities between Jayce and Viktor. That Jayce was getting swept up in the limelight while Viktor wanted to keep it humble and stick to the work, and that's wrong.

First thing's first, Viktor does in fact want to go on stage (he was excited to just demonstrate the hexclaw), and Jayce is sincere in that he wants to share the spotlight and credit for hextech with Viktor. The problem in that scene is that for practically 7 years, Jayce has failed to see what's actually going on.

Jayce can't see that his face and only his face is on the mugs, the blimps, and the very banners that decorate the hall he's supposed to give a speech in. Jayce can't see that the Councilors direct all their questions on hextech to him while Viktor sits right next to him. Jayce doesn't notice that Mel, the most perceptive Councilor, still thought of Viktor as Heimerdinger's assistant (she didn't know they were close??!?!). He doesn't realize that the discussion on weaponizing hextech is centered on him rather than between him and his partner. Viktor isn't the one being invited to Piltover's parties for a reason.

Between Jayce and Viktor, they're partners on equal grounds, but to EVERYONE else in Piltover Viktor is practically a non-entity. The only person who doesn't get this is Jayce. It's a testament to Jayce's earnest naivette to think Viktor, as a Zaunite and visibly disabled, would be easily welcomed on stage by Piltover's elite to represent what Piltover has to offer. You'll notice this is the same crowd of people that attend Mel's Gala, the same Gala Viktor wasn't invited to.

This dynamic is insane!?!?! It's unsustainable!!!!! Obviously, Viktor is a grown man and could have mentioned something to Jayce, but also it's at least 7 years, how does someone miss this?!?!

By their last scene of the finale, Jayce was able to give Viktor a voice on the Council by literally standing by his side and giving him a seat at the table, but like peace treaty, the gesture has come far too late, and things cannot return to as they were.

[justaz]

merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him

[caramellody]

Yall i dont think im gonna be able to stop thinking about usha and g13, actually.

Ushas an old old woman, clueless with tech. Lived long enough to develop various bonds with a LOT of people and relies on them a lot for help. In turn, shes VERY loyal to her close conpanions (a great example would be how she tends to back paula up a LOT, the way she sets up russel and paula to 'fake date' wink and all). She's very warm and very emotionally intelligent even if she's a bit clueless sometimes. Her logic is borderline incomprehensible, but it has heart.

G13 on the other hand, is a hacking prodigy. Hes young, hes sought after for his skills for better and for worse. But in turn, he's essentially lost himself in the process. He may be able to scrape nuke codes, but he'll never make a friend. He lacks any loyalty for anyone and anything except for himself and his interests, and if they dont satisfy those two points, then its worth nothing to him. His logic may be sound, but its cold.