#beige website

[thehippiekittyph]

WIX Website Template for Wedding & Events Photography

This beige minimal website template is for wedding and events photographers who want to showcase their brand and portfolio. With WIX's user-friendly interface, editing a website is made easier and stress-free without the use of any coding. This website template is fully customizable to your satisfaction and is optimized for mobile and tablet use.

What's included in your purchase? - Installation guide - WIX website template with content guide - Mobile-optimized template with customizable side menu - 11 styled pages - Built-in fonts - Set of curated photos

Styled Pages: ➊ Home ❷ About ❸ Portfolio - Prenuptials portfolio page - Weddings portfolio page - Elopements portfolio page ❹ Packages/Services ❺ Book online ❻ Blog ❼ Contact

NOTE This website template is designed for WIX only and cannot be used on other platforms. Upon accepting the transfer invite on the email you used with your WIX account, the template will appear on your account as a NEW WEBSITE. It is not possible to add or integrate the website template to an existing site.

View live demo here:

https://thehippiekittyph.wixsite.com/angelawhitedemo

View Etsy listing here:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1572328815/wix-website-template-for-wedding-events

[jitterbugbear]

a reminder to check your graphics in greyscale before posting, especially if it has colourful text elements that are supposed to be readable 👍

also here's a handy dandy tool for checking colour contrast:

[designbyrobinsade]

Fall Skincare Canva Landing Page Template

Welcome to the Fall Skincare Canva Landing Page Template, designed to help you create a stunning, luxurious online presence for your skincare business, blog, or personal brand. This beautiful fall-inspired template, featuring warm nude and earthy tones, is perfect for skincare brands that embrace natural beauty and luxurious self-care. - DesignByRobinSade

[moonssugar]

someone defending the barbie movie by claiming oppenheimer is apolitical has got to be the most insane things ive seen today

[avo-kat]

when ur transmasc and hate plaid and shirts with high necklines (sad-emoji)

[vanillyanmocattio]

Agere sensories - visuals! (things I see!)

Seeking:

fairy lights, night lamps, aquarium lamps, lava lamps, LED strips, christmas lights

online you can search up toy commercials, toy unboxing, pinterest, or the website that you're on right now, Tumblr! however make sure your blocked tags and phrases are secured before going through social media, especially as a little

if you're feeling confident, visit toy stores, libraries' kids sections, playgrounds! they're very stimulating, but remember to stay respectful on your visits :)

There's more to artsy life than coloring books! Bead bracelets, clay, stickers, collecting various things, journaling, baby books, finger painting, glitter!

To my fem leaning regressors, hairclips, jewelry, bright make-up (I do not recommend kids make-up as it doesn't have regulations, use adult make up in a childish way), animal headbands! To my neutral/masc regressors, pins, patches, funky shoelaces, sticker tattoos, keychains! Decorate yourself to stimulate yourself on gloomy days!

get food for kids! More colorful, maybe with a cute animal or a smile or dinos, the pretty juice bottles with cartoons? don't get me started. You can also get shape cutters for your veggies/sandwiches

stimboards, gifs!

customize your devices! Wallpapers, keyboards, AOD, widgets! You can even use gifs!

decorate your room and gear too! Coloring pages or other craft you're proud of, showing your favorite toys (if you're safe) colorful rugs! Make custom pacis, add stickers to your bottles, add cute labels!

stim toys, glow in the dark toys! Water toys, squishy balls with colors in them, orbeez, snowglobes, slime!

Avoidant:

Have nap times! They don't have to be a nap time, but you can make an hour to yourself, covering the windows and turning off the lights

There are settings on modern devices specifically targeted for visuals. Lower the brightness, get yourself a dark mode, have eye safety on

Get yourself fuzzy nighttime blindfolds, cute sunglasses, hats or hoodies that will limit your eye view (be careful to be protected, but functional if you're outside)

this is universal for any sensory suppression, but items for babies are your best friends if you're looking for less eye straining gear. (Especially with the beige mom trend being more popular, ha ha)

if you still want to watch baby shows, check low-stimulation lists. Also, usually shows directed at younger age range are slower. I also find vintage cartoons less overwhelming (but they're not guaranteed to be always slow and not stimulating)

You can order online instead of throwing yourself out to the chaotic, overwhelming stores

limit your screentime! Short-form content is easily overwhelming, and staring into a bright screen for x hours doesn't do your eyes a favor. It's okay to need breaks and not always be up to date with everything

if possible, pick safe times to do your errands where there's not a lot of people, like weekend mornings.

have a list of safe cartoons, safe colors, safe places, or other "safe" sensories. It's sometimes better to know what you're comfortable with!

remember, if it gets too much, it is always okay to back out. This is YOUR coping mechanism and nobody else's, it's up to YOU what you're okay and not okay with

[whitecerberus]

[toychest321]

Sorry for being late to post about Ramadan (school's been hell recently), but I thought I could take the opportunity to highlight some Muslim dolls! While there aren't many, one of my favorites is Fulla! For those unaware, Fulla was made by the company NewBoy FZCO and has been running since 2003! (MASSIVE thanks to Dollect for most of the information on her, at least throughout her early run in the 2000s) According to Dollect, some of the first dolls released of her with a hijab was in 2005 from the "Fulla with Abaya" sets, which apparently had embroidery on the sleeves! I love the long skirts, they give me Flower Power Barbie vibes!

There were also apparently "Outdoor Fashion" dolls with a surprise element where beneath their Abaya they'd be wearing an outfit of a specific color out of purple, pink, and green. They were MILES ahead of the surprise toy gimmick of the 2010s.

However, I can't find exactly what their outdoor outfits looked like? There aren't any images of them on Dollect, though I suppose these might be them? No confirmation of such, of course, but I found the pink one labelled for 2004 on another website.

It seems to check out with the description of having purple and pink variants in the outfit, but the beige and black leads me to believe these might be another release entirely... regardless I adore the detail in these coats! Anyway, I'll be posting about these more soon, but for now I better get back to that homework I just got distracted from lol. If you guys know of any other Muslim dolls you'd like me to post about feel free to send an ask!

Ramadan Kareem!

(Edit: Y'all thank you so much for the traction but please check out my reblogged edits to this post, I lowkey fumbled the info on the mystery outfits the first time around 😭)

[thehippiekittyph]

WIX Website Template for Newborn & Family Photography

This beige, pink and white themed website template is designed specifically for both professional and freelance photographers, bloggers or influencers who want to showcase their brand and portfolio. With Wix's user-friendly interface, editing a website is made easier and stress-free without the use of any coding. This website template is fully customizable to your satisfaction and is optimized for mobile and tablet use.

What's included in your purchase? - Installation guide - WIX website template with 6 styled pages - Mobile-optimized template with customizable side menu - Built-in font styles - Set of curated photos

Styled Pages: - Home - About - Portfolio - Services - Blog - Contact

NOTE This website template is designed for WIX only and cannot be used on other platforms. Upon accepting the transfer invite on the email you used with your WIX account, the template will appear on your account as a NEW WEBSITE. It is not possible to add or integrate the website template to an existing site.

View live demo here: https://thehippiekittyph.wixsite.com/preciousonedemo

View Etsy listing here:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1552726002/wix-website-template-for-photography

[gaykarstaagforever]

Well if I'm going to use stupidass TikTok, I should find out what all the weird baby straights and soon-to-be-divorced tradwives are up to over there.

Today we learn about the "Clean Girl Aesthetic".

Near as I can tell, it basically means not looking or dressing like some kind of dumpster clown.

And there's a fascination with pleated slacks or shorts and exposed belly buttons.

Doubtless this is mimicking some lady all these people have seen on their TVs. Taylor Swift? Another lady? Who can say? Not me, because Taylor Swift is the only lady I know of.

I'm old enough to remember the predecessor of this style as a kind of late 80s / early 90s Yacht Club thing that was popular with movie bullies and other people no one liked. I'm sure it has a History of Fashion name but I'm not looking it up, because Google already doesn't know who the hell I am or what the hell to sell me. I know it was very polo-shirt heavy back then. Big pockets. Beiges and greys and muted colors, probably because the POOR PEOPLE were all dressing like dumpster clowns:

But I looked up the Clean Girl thing to see exactly what probably-AI says it is:

...So it is literally about not being dirty? Isn't all fashion, inherently? Was there a trend that was wearing filth recently? Filthcore? Dumpster clown?

Well yeah, the midriff thing. But again, isn't all fashion inherently fatphobic? That's still bad, but kind of a universal in the world of people being dicks to other people about how everyone looks. The TRUE SOUL of fashion.

And that's not a new thing. Or is the Clean Girl thing especially virulently anti-fatty? Like to be a Clean Girl, you have to drive at least one fat person to contemplate suicide a month?

I mean that's awful, but TikTok is a lot of teenagers with stupid hair. I wouldn't put this past them. They're horrible little idiots. Look at their hair!

...Wait so you guys are doing "brown = dirty"? In 2024? What Gulf Coast cave did you people crawl out of after a 150-year Rip Van Winkle nap? The War Between the States is over, and your side lost. How did you figure out TikTok so fast, displaced temporal stranger?

Can't we all just shut up and wear pants?

As for the stealing thing, white people have been stealing and recreating the things they stole from POCs, then excluding them from those versions of those things, for as long as there have been white people.

It's bad, but as it is our primary cultural trait, we're certainly never going to stop.

Especially not those hibernating cave people. They probably still think "the Curse of Ham" is a justifiable legal defense.

This is what Clean Girl looks like, in case you too want to dress like someone whose dad mismanages a major streaming platform:

(I don't know who this model is. The picture is from a half-broken aggregator website in Foreign.)

[recycledmoviecostumes]

A rather interesting take on the dreaded relatability, this (for Renaissance fashions) unusually loose suede doublet with more than a little nod to 1980s rock chic was designed by Jenny Beavan for Dougray Scott’s prince as well as Mark Lewis’ “gypsy leader” in Ever After, the 1998 take on Cinderella.

A bit sidelined it turned up again on an uncredited extra as a huntsman in the television adaptation of The Other Boleyn Girl in 2003.

This costume was auctioned off by Kerry Taylor Auctions, which described the piece as follows:

Designed by Jenny Beavan, Cosprop labelled with inked actor’s name, the Renaissance style ensemble comprising: beige mock-suede doublet with slash detail to neck and shoulders, the fabric gathered at the cuffs and shoulders, gilt filigree plaques, chest approx 107cm 42in; matching trousers with integral cod-piece, gilt metal-tipped laces, waist 86cm 34in; a silver lamé and gilt thread brocaded belt; purple corduroy cloak with detachable hood; an associated white cotton shirt with drawstring collar and cuffs; and a pair of brown leather thigh- high boots with straps and buckles at the ankles, boots 33cm, 13in long (8)

Worn throughout the film, while riding including when he rescues Danielle from the water and while fighting in the woods and being carried away by Danielle.

Designer Jenny Beavan writes:

Dougray played Prince Henry – the romantic hero – but was always being saved by ‘Cinderella’ – the film has a nice feminist, modern twist to it.

He needed to look heroic but ‘real’ and vulnerable. This costume is an ‘every day princely look’ but quite practical for riding and being out and about in the country. Just looking back at the photos Dougray does look rather good in it! 

Costume Credit: carsNcors

Follow: Website | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram

[greenplumbboblover]

Not-a-tutorial - Lighting (Advanced)

Previous parts:

Not-a-Tutorial - Lighting (Basics)

Not-a-Tutorial - Lighting (Basics - Indoor)

Intention:

While dialogues and body language can say a whole lot on what you're trying to tell to the reader, lights can as well! Here's a great example:

(Left is with the lights on, right is with the lights off).

As you can see, the left one feels much more like it's... let's say, a winter-y 6pm, and she's studying in the library...

Whereas on the right, it feels much more like she's skipping on sleep, and it's 3am, studying.

Moods:

You can also use lighting for more tenser scenes! Here are a few examples from my story:

Here the setup was the same, but I added softer rose/red pastel-y colours... (Though this scene did have like 6 lights :p)

Here I not only used a blue backlight for giving it a “night” feeling, but I also added an orange and white front-light to represent a sense of hope and that our poor Ethan isn't alone.

Here I gave Vita and Nick Alto a yellow, green and red lighting setup, to represent more jealous and angry colours for Nancy. As Nancy is staring at them.

However, the pink represents not only the stage light, but also a sense of Innocence given her background of not understanding the entrepreneur game.

Here I gave little Bella a red background and light foreground, keeping the left part of her face dark, as the speech is about the future of the town. And with the light, she represents a bright but unclear future.

Note: all of these images do use Reshade, so trying to get these results without it may look a bit different!

Seasons:

Representing the colours associated with the seasons can give a scene a really cool feeling!

Summer, Spring, Autumn, Winter.

Color mixing:

One thing I thought was pretty cool with TS3's Lighting engine, is how colors in certain highlights will mix just like paint!

Red + Blue looks a bit purple-ish.

Red + Yellow will look a bit orange-y.

Blue and Yellow will turn green-ish at parts.

Custom Coloured Lights

Sometimes, some of EA's colours aren't... quite there. Or really what you need. Here is a short list of colours I've made and used:

0, 150, 255 - Replacement of Cyan (More of a light blue):

0, 163, 108 - Jade

255, 195, 0 (better Yellow)

What's the easiest way to find new colours?

It's pretty easy! If you google for "Colour generator" then there you go! Do make sure to get the RGB values from those websites!

But, for the ones who don't want to google, here are a few suggestions:

Give them a try and see which ones are great! Do go for colours that are quite strong in contrast. Pastel will just end up being white, and darker colours will just turn... well it will look like there is no light on :p

That was it! Hopefully it was insightful, and obviously feel free to add your own discoveries to it! :)

[astronomodome]

Astronomodome's 2024 US Presidential Election Liveblog

First of all I want to say I have other stuff to work on today so I might not be super up to date with stuff but I'll try my best to give my thoughts as to what's going on.

So first, how do we tell who wins?

In the U.S., the popular vote doesn't decide who wins the presidency. Instead, we use the (much hated) electoral college. Here's a helpful visual.

Every state (and DC) is given at least three electors, usually more based on population (which is why states like California and Texas have so many). There are 538 in total. To win, a candidate needs more than half of these- half of 538 is 269, so a candidate needs at least 270. (Interestingly, it is possible for both candidates to receive exactly 269 electors, in which case the universe corrupts and we all die infinitely the House of Representative chooses who wins, with each state getting one vote.)

The national popular vote may not matter, but the popular votes of each of the states do. Whoever wins the popular vote in each state (except Nebraska and Maine bc they're weird but that's not too important) wins all the electors for that state. It's very all-or-nothing which is why a lot of people don't like it.

This is a map from election forecaster 538, one of many such organizations that use polling and algorithms and election magic or something to predict who is likely to win each state. They have a lot of good graphs and stuff to look at on their site if you want to learn more about the stats of everything. As the key notes, we can see which way each state is expected to vote, as well as a few states highlighted in bold as likely swing states.

Swing states are basically wherever the election is close and the number of electors is high enough to 'swing' the election. Basically, while all the other states are mostly decided based on precedent (though surprises are possible), these states could reasonably go either way. This is why both candidates hold so many rallies in Pennsylvania, for example- it's competitive, and they want to boost their chances of winning those electors by currying favor directly with those voters.

One thing this map doesn't show is what I lovingly refer to as the Bar. It looks like this. I bring it up because if you follow the election news you'll see it. A lot.

The arrows in the middle point to 269.5, the exact midpoint. Whoever reaches that midpoint by filling up the bar wins (the beige in the middle are the tossup states who could go either way).

For example, let's look at 270towin. (the forecast websites love their special numbers.) They have a fun interactive map where you can make the votes go wherever you want to see what would happen.

^ Here's their prediction based on consensus.

^ Here, I changed Florida so it votes blue. Not likely unless I can bribe enough officials to make it so my ballot is the only one that counts (fair and just). We can see that the Bar has shifted, and the blue side has almost reached the arrows. Let's see what happens if we add another blue state. Let's say... Georgia, for example.

Wow! If the states were to vote this way, the Democrats would win, even if all the other undecided states went red. Is it likely? No. But, well, how do we know that?

In short, we don't. But we can guess, and that's what polls are for. There are several different types, but the most important ones for right now are exit polls. They'll start coming out soon, I think. I'm not sure if they have to wait until all the polls close (so people don't see them and decide not to vote or something because of it) but I think they do, at least in some states. Exit polls are conducted right outside of voting locations as voters exit, which makes them more accurate than other polls. They're not free of bias, though, so as always take them with a grain of salt. They're the first indicator we'll have of how it went, but they're not the final numbers.

One ray of hope I want to point out is the currently infamous Selzer Iowa poll (not an exit poll but still relevant). Ann Selzer is a really trusted pollster, known for a long streak of accuracy. She published a poll a day ago that indicated that Harris was beating Trump (!) in Iowa (!!) by 3 points (!!!). Iowa is... not considered a Democratic state; it went for Trump last election by 14 points. So this is really surprising (understatement). And yes, it could mean absolutely nothing... but it certainly shocked a lot of people, including Trump, who tweeted angrily about it.

States count their votes in different ways. Some results will be out within the day, others might take weeks. But usually most states can be 'called' for a candidate before every vote is counted. This is because the leading candidate will have more votes than can be overcome by the other one, even if every vote counted was for them. The important thing is that, as polls close over the next couple hours, they'll be counting. I saw one report that said election officials in Idaho, for example, plan on counting every vote "before they go to bed that night," which I thought was kind of a cute way to put it. Most states will release vote counts in batches or by county, which means that other batches or counties might still be counting as others submit their counts. That last sentence had a lot of 'count' related words in it, huh.

One thing to note about vote counting is that absentee or mail-in ballots often take longer to be received and counted than in-person votes. This can cause a phenomenon called "blue shift"- basically, a lot of mail-in ballots are cast by college students (like me!) or people who live overseas, and those groups tend to vote more Democratic than in-person voters. That means that late in the counting process, totals will often shift more towards the Democratic candidate. Famously, this is how Biden ended up winning Georgia in 2020- initially it was forecasted to remain red, but it inched over slowly as mail-in ballots were received.

So, in short, that's how we figure out who will be president. I'll be keeping track of what happens tonight, but it's very possible we won't know who wins until tomorrow morning or even later. Let's hope for the best :)

[blissfullyecho]

Elevating Your Personal Brand for 2025: Your Online Presence

In today’s digital age, your online presence is one of the most powerful tools you have to shape your personal brand. Whether you're looking to land a dream job, build a side hustle, or simply embody a more refined and elegant lifestyle, curating a sophisticated and luxurious digital image can make all the difference.

If you're ready to elevate your online presence with class, elegance, and a touch of luxury, you’re in the right place. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the step-by-step process of refining your personal brand and creating an online identity that’s poised, polished, and truly you.

Step 1: Define Your Personal Brand Vision

Before you start curating content, it’s essential to get clear on what you want your personal brand to represent. What does luxury, class, and elegance mean to you? Your personal brand should reflect your unique style, interests, values, and aspirations. It’s about crafting an image that feels authentic to you, yet elevated to match the lifestyle you desire.

Action Steps:

Write down your core values. These might include qualities like elegance, kindness, professionalism, creativity, or adventure. These will guide your brand’s tone and messaging.

Visualize your ideal lifestyle. What do you want your life to look like in 5 or 10 years? Let that vision inspire how you portray yourself online.

Identify role models. Think about women you admire (public figures, entrepreneurs, or influencers) whose personal brands resonate with you. What elements of their style, approach, or values can you incorporate into your own online presence?

Step 2: Curate Your Aesthetic

Your aesthetic plays a huge role in creating a luxurious and elegant online presence. A cohesive and thoughtful aesthetic conveys sophistication and attention to detail, whether it's through your Instagram feed, personal website, or blog. You want your digital space to be visually appealing, refined, and purposeful.

Action Steps:

Choose a color palette. Soft neutrals like beige, cream, white, and blush pink often convey a sense of luxury, while gold accents or muted jewel tones can add a touch of glamour. Make sure the colors you choose reflect the vibe you want to communicate.

Select your fonts carefully. Opt for classic, timeless fonts like serif fonts or clean sans-serif styles for a minimalist, chic look. Keep your typography consistent across all platforms.

Create a content plan. Plan your photos and posts to fit into your aesthetic. Whether you're showcasing your fashion, lifestyle, or business endeavors, ensure each piece contributes to the refined image you're building.

Step 3: Perfect Your Digital Wardrobe

Your online presence should mirror your real-life style, and this doesn’t mean you need to wear expensive clothes all the time. It's about cultivating a polished, put-together look that communicates elegance and sophistication.

Action Steps:

Invest in key pieces. Build a capsule wardrobe with timeless, high-quality pieces. Think tailored blazers, elegant dresses, neutral tones, and accessories that elevate your outfits. It's not about having a lot, but rather about having a few, well-chosen items that you wear often and with confidence.

Master the art of styling. Focus on classic silhouettes that flatter your body shape and keep things simple. Less is often more when it comes to cultivating an elegant look.

Show off your style online. Curate photos that highlight your wardrobe choices. Whether you're snapping selfies, sharing outfit posts, or showcasing lifestyle shots, make sure your fashion choices align with your refined brand.

Step 4: Cultivate High-Value Content

Luxury and elegance are not just about aesthetics—they’re about substance too. High-quality content that reflects your values, expertise, and passions will elevate your online presence in ways that go beyond just a pretty picture. Whether you’re sharing beauty tips, fashion advice, or personal development insights, make sure your content is valuable and thoughtful.

Action Steps:

Share your expertise. What are you passionate about? Whether it’s personal development, fitness, wellness, fashion, or business, share your knowledge and insights with your audience in a way that adds value. Offer tips, tutorials, and advice that make people feel inspired and empowered.

Focus on storytelling. People connect with stories. Share moments from your life that showcase your growth, your achievements, and your journey toward a more luxurious lifestyle. Make your audience feel like they are a part of your world.

Consistency is key. Post regularly, whether it’s daily, weekly, or biweekly. The more you show up with valuable content, the more your audience will trust and admire your brand.

Step 5: Cultivate Grace and Confidence

A huge part of elegance and luxury is not just how you look, but how you carry yourself. Cultivating confidence, grace, and poise in all your online interactions is crucial to building a brand that feels truly elevated.

Action Steps:

Be kind and respectful. The way you engage with your audience speaks volumes. Respond to comments thoughtfully, offer encouragement, and be gracious with your interactions. Classiness is often reflected in your communication.

Maintain boundaries. It’s important to stay authentic, but also protect your personal life. Keep your online persona polished by sharing only what you feel comfortable with, while leaving room for privacy.

Embrace a positive mindset. Luxury is as much a state of mind as it is a lifestyle. Cultivate a mindset of abundance, and focus on uplifting others. This positive energy will naturally translate into your online presence.

Step 6: Network with Like-Minded Individuals

To truly elevate your brand, it’s important to surround yourself with people who share similar goals and values. Networking with other women who embody elegance, class, and luxury will help you grow, both personally and professionally.

Action Steps:

Engage with like-minded influencers. Follow, comment, and build relationships with women who inspire you. Share their content, collaborate on projects, or simply connect over mutual interests.

Attend online events. Participate in webinars, virtual conferences, and online workshops to connect with other professionals in your industry.

Leverage social media platforms. Use platforms like LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest to network, share your expertise, and build meaningful connections that can help you advance your personal brand.

Step 7: Stay Authentic and Evolve

Finally, remember that a truly luxurious and elegant brand is one that remains authentic. As you grow and evolve, so should your brand. Don’t be afraid to adapt, try new things, or shift your focus. Your journey toward elegance and luxury is a continual process, and your brand should reflect the authentic version of yourself—today and in the future.

Action Steps:

Evaluate and adjust. Regularly check in with yourself and assess if your online presence still aligns with your vision. If it doesn't, make adjustments to reflect where you are now.

Embrace change. Your tastes, interests, and goals will evolve as you grow. Embrace these changes and let them shape your brand naturally.

Conclusion: Own Your Elegance, Own Your Brand

Building a luxurious, classy, and elegant online presence is about more than just aesthetics. It’s about curating a personal brand that reflects your true self and communicates your aspirations. By following these steps, you’ll elevate your digital persona and create a brand that resonates with authenticity, grace, and sophistication.

Remember, elegance isn’t about perfection—it’s about being the best version of yourself, every day. So go ahead, step into your power, and own your unique, elevated online presence. The world is waiting to see the graceful, confident woman you are becoming.

[trans-axolotl]

Image description: [ A digital poster with a beige background and a small graphic of a book that has yellow flowers growing out of it. Text says: Psych survivor Zine. Open call for submissions from Mad Artists. Looking for pieces that explore how psych survivors resist psychiatric violence, with a special focus on transforming our medical records. Pieces exploring topics in mad studies, antipsychiatry, and peer support are likely to be a good fit. $100 Stipend. Deadline for proposals: March 31st. For more information and next steps to submit artwork, please go to https://tinyurl.com/psychsurvivorzine. For any questions, email Elliott at psychsurvivorzine@gmail.com]

Hello everyone! I am thrilled to announce that I'm searching for collaborators for the first edition of a Psych Survivor zine!! I've been working on this project for a while, and there are several other components that will be rolled out throughout this spring (if you aren't an artist/writer but still want to be involved, keep an eye out on my blog.) This zine is going to be physically published and hosted on a website created specifically for this project.

This zine is open to anyone who identifies as mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent/psych survivor/ex patient, and any form of art is welcome, whether that's poetry, critical essays, digital art, photography, or anything else. Due to funding constraints, I will likely only be selecting 10-13 people to add to this edition. This edition is focused specifically on abolishing and transforming our medical records, and click on the link above to read the full prompt.

Please feel free to email me or message me on tumblr with any further questions, and I'm so excited to hopefully work with some of you on this project!

[pascalsbby]

CARNAL / Chapter 4: Defile

Joel’s POV <3

Chapter 3 / CARNAL Masterlist

Summary: 5K/ f!reader, dark!joel, dbf!joel, stalker!joel.

Warnings: 18+ mdni, SMUT, age gap, Joel defiles you, talks to you through it, then comforts you. dominate & aggressive joel, pet names, praise kink, stalking, p in v, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), spitting, talk of anal + the usual pure filth. you’re so welcome.

Made this extra nasty for my Joel girlies <3

“The enormity of my desire disgusts me.” - Richard Siken

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Joel doesn’t want it to be this way, but it just is, and he thinks it always has been. A shameful nagging that started even before his wife decided she didn’t want him anymore. Maybe she saw it, the pinhole, sitting slightly to the right of his chest, veering ever so slightly towards his heart.

Women are better at telling those things, just knowing this and that. Identifying the rotten thing before they ingest it.

He’d been captivated by other women before. Coworkers, thigh-high wearing sweethearts at the bar. Sarah’s friends. His ex wife’s friends. It was easier to keep up with them when he knew where they lived, worked, who they hung out with. Accidentally running into them at the local corner store… offering to pump their gas whenever he happened to be there, too.

This was different though.

The chasm cracked the day Sarah had shown him the photographs of you. He felt the sudden release of tension before the pain of the wound itself settled in. This… this is what his being had been searching for, right? You. And it just took longer cause he’s 26 or so years your senior. He’d lived an entire life before you, the same amount of time you’ve been alive.

If anyone was gonna save you, it’s him.

He spent hours in the depths of whatever website would give him what he needed to sustain his interest. He knew exactly where you grew up, he’d walked the beige colored halls before. But that wasn’t enough. What door was yours in Sarah’s apartment complex? Before he found out, he bet it was the one with the evil eye mat in the front. He was right.

What car held you as you drove through town… when’s the last time you checked the oil? He found out quickly, knew you wore your seatbelt too. Good girl. He’d even opened the hood one evening and checked the oil. It was entirely too low, so he filled it up. You needed to check this stuff.

What bars did you frequent? One was The Strip, where you spent most your time outside at the bar politely dodging older ‘men’.

He knew your favorite aisle of the water-damaged grocery store down the street. You spent the most time deciding on which hand soap you wanted, smelling them all and scrunching your nose when you didn’t like the smell.

What boys were you seeing? And at what times? As far as he could tell, none. And that’s how he liked it. But he couldn’t be inside your long classes with you, and he gave up sitting outside of them a couple weeks ago. They were three hours long and you usually went straight home. What if there was a boy in there?

He needed to physically insert himself into your life and then maybe… maybe you’d want him to stay. See how good for you he could be.

When he turned from the nude woman painted on the wall, a version of you in oil, to the warm, guts and roaring blood of you- the gash completely tore itself open in the moments it took for his eyes to eat you in. Every nerve ending in his forty plus years heeding, 7 trillion of them.

God you were a pretty little thing. He knew that, from watching you defile yourself for him over a screen. Listening to your pussy shush itself as you slipped your fingers between your folds, cooing at him. But having seen these things before, having seen every crevice of you, didn’t stop his cock from all but jumping towards you. He wanted to be in those crevices; tasting, smelling, feeling.

He’d never been a man to beg, but he’d do it for you.

He knew too, in that moment, that you hated him the moment your eyes settled upon his face and your heart, body, told you precisely who he was; before he’d even reached out his hand and introduced himself. Before he even got the chance to touch your skin. What a hard-ass.

Here you were in front of him, pretending like he didn’t just tear your world open. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t think of another way to do it… there was no other way. You wouldn’t have met him if he asked, or on the off chance you would, you wouldn’t have stayed long enough for him to explain himself after he uttered a few words of who he actually was.

You’d spent too much time being told, screamed at, by men telling you what to do. Why would you listen to him? He knew it. But he was hoping that your chest opened for him, too. That you had the same defect for him.

He had to get you in public, around the people who you were hiding your secret from. That was the easiest way to guarantee that it stayed that way. No telling Sarah, no telling your dad.

You had looked so scared. And it thrilled him, honestly. He had that over you. You were trembling and he wanted nothing more than to bend down and lick the sweat from your forehead. He did that, made you feel that way, had that control. It meant he had a chance to talk you out of the fear. Fuck it out of you, even. Hush your whimpers and screams into his palm.

He needed to see you, touch you, smell you. Seeing you over a computer screen, no matter how intimate, was not enough. He feared what he would do if, when on his stalking sprees, he saw you with another man. He needed to get this feeling out of himself, before he hurt someone.

“I said, excuse me.” You interrupted your dad.

Joel's instincts took over as he reached out for you, his fingers grazing the warmth emanating from your hip beneath your dress as you pass, almost walking through him. He is struck by the velvet-like softness that greets his touch, a sensation that lingers in his fingertips as a dull ache. Your warmth seeps through his skin, ripping the hole in his chest even further than he thought imaginable.

How could these two realities simultaneously exist on the same plane?

That deep-rooted desire to comfort the hurt within you. To hold the ever-wounded little girl and brush his lips across your forehead. Tell you that he’s here, you’re just fine. He’ll protect you. Lay you down on his chest and shhh your fears away. You deserve to be protected.

He wanted to raise goosebumps across your freckled shoulders and be the person you melt into at the end of the day. He wanted you to intertwine your tired bones with his.

He would do, be, better this time around. You wouldn’t leave him like she did, no. You would devour yourself for him, spit back out your bones and let him put them back together.

There was another place within him where he desperately needed your body. He needed to feel your hole flutter against his tongue, his cock. One where he could slip his spit covered fingers into your tight heat and stretch you just big enough to fit the girth of him. The sound that would vibrate through your lips would unnerve him, he would do anything for you. Fill any hole you wanted.

You’d fit around him so tight, so well. Always such an obedient sweetheart for him. “Oh c’mon darlin’, use your words. Pull them apart, oh goooood. Shhh. You can take it. It’ll only hurt for a minute Birdie.”

He wanted to push you onto the ground beneath him and unravel your inhibitions- force you to come undone for him. He yearned to scatter bite marks across your soft stomach and side, lick between your breasts, kiss the back of your knees.

He wondered what his initials would look like carved into your soft inner thighs. Marked by him, for him.

How could he undo you while trying to hold you together? A deafening need heaved through his chest. It fucking hurts.

He knew, deep down, that you would willingly surrender to him. Even though hatred was spewed across your face. Whether he asked kindly enough or convinced you that his involvement was obligatory rather than just desired, he sensed you would comply. He couldn’t help that his blood simmered for you, it stung him. He felt like he was burning from the inside, out, clawing around in his insatiable desire to explore the depths of you. To feel those depths with his fingers, his cock, his tongue, his nose.

He gathered himself out of his thoughts, and drew his body toward the path you had taken in your escape. He didn't pause to ponder the questions that would be asked: why he, out of all people—neither your mother, father, nor best friend—was the one chasing after you.

It was him. It had to be. It always has been. He had decided it the day he met you that summer, the first time he heard your laugh. Then, you grew up. And he wanted more. He was so fucking ashamed but there was nothing he could do to stop the want. He didn’t try very hard, though.

He didn’t want to stop it, because then that meant you were gone. You wouldn’t have kept accepting the calls if you didn’t want him back. You wouldn’t have nearly fallen to your knees in front of him if you didn’t care. Which is why he stopped trying to get rid of this vile thing you nursed inside of him, because you wanted him, it, just as much. You just haven’t had the chance to realize it for yourself.

The moment he entered your warmth, you would feel it too. He knew.

Why would you lay yourself out for him, reaching down to spread yourself wide open for his view, for his pleasure, and beg him to defile you- if you were just gonna leave?

As he observed you throwing yourself against the metal doors between stairwells, he caught the faint scent of your perfume—notes of bergamot, vanilla, and ire. When your eyes met his, truly and not merely through photographs, he felt an overwhelming urge to drop to his knees and weep in front of you. He wanted to surrender his entire being, to give himself over entirely if it meant that you would believe he meant you no harm besides the kind you wanted. The kind that felt good. That he was chasing a feeling that erupted within him and wouldn’t stop knocking at his chest.

You smelled heavenly, perfume and fear. You embodied the rest of his life.

The whole in his chest was the shape of you.

With a deep breath, he entered the bathroom, realizing that he needed you to remain by his side long enough for him to articulate the growing emotions within him. He yearned to explain why he acted the way he did, hoping that you might find it in your heart to forgive him for just showing up (and being seen this time).

He was still trying to figure it out himself. Why the world chose him for you, and why it was making it so hard for him to fulfill that proposition.

At the beginning he brooded over whether to stay and ultimately hurt you no matter how often he argued within himself that he would never… or to go and leave you be. That wasn’t an option anymore. It never had been, really.

You looked maddened, irate. But the blush kissing your cheeks from the heat of your anger looked so pretty.

“I was 15,” you spat at him. “Do you do this often, Joel? Stalk your daughters friends and tell them how much you want your nasty cock in their mouth? Pay them to strip for you and pay them extra to stick their fingers in their pussy so you can get off? How many? How many fucking girls have you done this to Joel?”

Ouch. You only saw the illicit side of everything he was willing to give you. He was paying you, even, to stay in his life. How could you not see he just wanted to be closer to you? But you weren’t wrong, it did look like that from the outside. An older man pursuing his daughter’s best friend, his best friends daughter. Finding her online, showing up to her gallery show.

Sarah would probably never speak to him again if she knew the extent of his need… the things he’s done to himself in your name. No one knew how much it hurts though, to know you’re out there in a world where he can’t have you all to himself.

He didn’t answer in time.

“Should I ask Sarah?” You continued.

Absolutely fucking not.

“Shh, shh. Lower your fucking voice,” he spat as he stepped towards you. You looked so small beneath him, face red and angry. He gripped your shoulder and pushed you against the concrete wall. He liked having this control over you, and he knew you liked it too in some sick way.

It was easy for you to give up control if it meant cowering down beneath his broadness. He was rock hard.

He felt himself buzzing, seeing the slight shock against your face before you pulled it back and turned it to anger. He watched your nipples harden beneath the thin layer of your dress and knew you wanted this just as bad, whether you admitted to it or not.

This was all for you. The possibility of losing his relationship with his daughter.. this is a small town, he could lose his job, then his house. Everything. All for you to stand here and pretend you don’t want it, basically yelling it down the hallway for everyone to fucking hear. After everything he had given you and how intimate he’d been for you. After just last night, you watched him spit on his fingers and fuck himself.

Yet you stand in front of him, threatening his dissolution.

“One word out of your pretty mouth and I will break you.” He whispered into your hair, once again inhaling you deeply. He kissed your forehead, a weak apology for being quick to anger. But you were starting to thrash around, making it so much harder than it needed to be. So he stood himself sturdy in front of you and put one arm above your head and the other next to your side, pushing you further into the wall.

Maybe if he showed you how good he could make you feel, you’d stay. He just needed to remind your cunt how good a cock felt inside of it.

There was silence, a contemplation.

“Why me?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes.

Fuck, you needed him, it was written all over your face. Who else was going to protect you like could?

“It was your eyes, Birdie.” He admitted.

You continued to run your pretty mouth, but he wasn’t having it. He begged for you to listen to him, but you wouldn’t. Finally, he had enough of your talking.

“If you don’t shut your fuckin’ mouth,” he accidentally spit and watched as you licked it away without thought. Fuck. He would happily give you more. His already hard cock pushed even further against his struggling zipper.

“What? What exactly are you going to do?”

You questioned, softening in tone and running your hands up his chest. That was an invitation. He took it.

“How ‘bout I show you, you fucking brat. You can’t hide from me. I see you, I can see through you. I saw you the very first time our eyes met and I see you now. Wigglin’ beneath my touch. You need me sweet’heart, stop denyin’ it. I know you remember how I made you feel without me even touchin you. So let me touch you.”

Before you could argue some more, he moved his hands to your small shoulders and turned you around. His hands were massive compared to your body, and he liked it. Your curves were dying to be let free, held in too tight by the dress. Your breast, begging to be cupped and played with.

Oh he’d imagined so many times rolling your hard buds between his lips, tonguing them. Your breath hitched, and he let out a low chuckle. Already, you were giving in to him. He knew you would, such a good girl.

He threw the dress to the ground and looked upon you, naked, standing below and in front of him with your palms against the wall. You were completely ready for anything he wanted to give you, stick in you.

He couldn’t help but moan into your skin, you answering in response.

“Now go on, tell me more ‘bout how much you hate me, Birdie,” he growled into your ear, pushing his entire body against yours, taking your breath away as his cock brushed against your back.

You made sounds, no full words.

“That’s such a pretty noise,” he nudged. You didn’t respond but your cunt did, releasing more sticky want.

“S’okay, you can hate me Birdie, but your pussy flutters every time I look at you. She doesn’t hate me, princess, she needs me ‘n she wants me.”

You let out a barely audible fuss.

“Aww lookie there baby, she’s drippin’.”

He reached down and caught the drop with his finger, sucking it clean into your ear as you dizzily looked into the concrete wall, attempting to level your want for him. He didn’t even know if you fully heard his teasing in your state.

“Your effort not to melt under me is truly admirable.” He growled as he stuck out his tongue and ran it along your ear, sucking and breathing, tickling. Fuck. You tasted sweet but your nervousness had caused you to sweat, but he liked that too.

Then, he slid down to his knees so he could be level with your pussy, immediately reaching to spread you open and take you in. He reached in front of you and grabbed a handful of your stomach, pushing your ass more towards his face. He could smell your arousal, and he almost came right then and there, like some goddamn teenager.

Red underwear stared him in the eye, a deeper burgundy down your seem where you’d been dripping for him.

“Oh so fuckin’ pretty sweet girl. Look at that,” he traced his thumb down the back of your cunt, pushing the fabric deeper into the slick already coating them. You whimpered and attempted to buck your hips back, rotating your hips so that your holes were even more open for him.

“Nuh uh uh,” he tutted as you started to squirm even more. That wasn’t gonna do, he needed you still so he could have at you. He dug his thumbs into your ass, spreading you open once again, without a doubt leaving marks that would later bruise, showcasing his want. Reminding you that you were entirely his.

He held your pussy open, air hitting your open holes, licking lines up and down your slit as you moved. Your cunt wide open, showing him that she was ready for him, sucking up a mix of his spit and your cum every time you moaned and your walls fell in on themselves, pushing in and out in want.

He laid his tongue flat and licked from asshole to cunt, flicking and sucking on the thin skin between the two.

He spit.

“You’re the dirtiest girl I’ve ever seen, you know that? Letting me stick my tongue and nose on your pretty little asshole. Want me to fuck you here baby girl?” He circled it, pushing his spit in with the tip of his pointer finger. You whimpered as your hole swallowed the tip.

He knew if he fucked you there right now, the tip of his cock wouldn’t even make it in before he came, and that wasn’t the type of game he wanted to play right now.

“Hmm, I hear you. We’ll save that for next time. It wouldn’t be fair of me not to work you open first.” Breathless, he heard a “please Joel” fall from your lips.

“Oh fuck. Say it again. I’ve been waitin’ for my name to pass your pretty lips.”

He didn’t know how much he needed to hear you mutter his name like that until it hit him in his fucking chest.

“Joel, please.”

He smirked against you, pointing his tongue into your hole, circling and lapping at you as you continued to drip onto his tongue.

“Could taste these sweet juices for the rest of my fuckin’ life.” The sounds your body made as he pointed himself in and out of your cunt were godlike, vulgar.

He told you to keep your palms against the wall and stop moving, your final warning. His nose was covered in you.

“Joel, I-“

“Tell me baby, use your words,” he murmured into you.

“Take me, right now, please. Can’t wait Joel, I’ve been waiting so long.” God you sounded pathetic for him, begging and wanting him.

Without warning he fucked two of his fingers into you, and realized how tight your walls were stretching against them. You were already completely full from just two fingers.

“You wanna take my cock? You’re so tight you can barely handle two of my fingers. So fuckin’ impatient, hmm?” He curled them upwards and the spongey insides of you continued squelching, you tightened around him and he knew what you wanted… needed. You just needed to let go, stop thinking.

“Let it happen. Stop fightin’ it and let it out baby. I’ll catch you.”

You threw your head back and your long hair fell against the top of his head as he crouched below you. He wanted you to cum down his wrist so he could lick it clean in front of you.

You looked pure, hungry, and your body shook around his fingers as all of your sounds immediately stopped. Your orgasm rocked through you and the bathroom was dead silent, only filled with the sounds of his fingers coaxing out more juices.

Then your thighs stopped shaking aggressively and you spoke.

“I can take it. Please Joel. Please, sir.”

He rose from the ground. Did you just fucking call him sir? That was all he needed.

“Then take it.”

Somehow during all of the movement he had taken his cock out of his jeans. It was fully erect, kissing his stomach every time he moved further into your pussy with his face.

He wrapped his large hands around it and guided it to the back of your cunt, precum sticking to your lips. He tapped your cunt with his throbbing tip, moving his cock around to pick up your juices and mix his in with yours.

Finally. Finally you were going to be his.

He wrapped his arm around you from the back, his forearm covering your mouth before you dropped your head back onto his bicep. Your hair was sticking to your face from the sweat, eyes rolled back in anticipation.

And then he was one with you, cock hugged by your tight warmth. And it was everything he thought it would be, but better. He let out grunts as he fucked into you, hips hitting your ass as the sounds of your wetness meeting bounced of the bathroom stall. You fit so well on him, he fit so well against your walls. It was meant to be, he knew even more so now.

Breathless moans left your lips and he bent his head down to swallow them. Sucking on your top lip as you sat limp against him, his body holding you up as you took him like the good girl he knew you always were, would be, for him.

“S’tight baby girl. I don’t know how those little toys even fit in these holes. Gonna need to stretch you out better next time ‘n it won’t hurt so much. I’ll fit you even better next time.” He shushed your moans, dropping his nose into your hair, completely lost and intoxicated by the smell of your sex.

“I-inside,” you managed. He almost shot his spend into you right then. You could warned him before you said something so nasty, so good.

“Want me to cum inside that tight cunt, is that what you’re tryin’t ask me? ‘N what about your daddy, hmm? What would he think ‘bout you walking out of this bathroom with his best friend’s cum drippin’ down your legs?”

Defeated, you let out another sound.

“Dirty girl. I want nothin’ more than to fill you up. But this isn’t the time or the place. You know that.”

You came again, squeezing his cock so tight, and Joel pulled out as fast as he could after your walls kissed against him, wanting, but not letting himself cum just yet.

“Turn around, baby.” He ordered. And you did, slowly and shakily. You were having a hard time catching your breath.

He then pushed you onto your knees from your shoulders, not caring whether he was hurting you or not. All he saw was how fucked you looked, pure bliss still lingering between your legs, tiredness clouding your eyes from cumming multiple times on his cock. It was his turn.

You grunted in pain as your knees hit the floor, and that’s all he needed from you. He cupped his heavy cock and stroked himself, spitting down to it making it even wetter.

“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” The words getting caught in your throat. That’s all he heard as he planted his feet into the ground and threw his head back, grunting as his cum spit out of his aching tip, dripping all over and down your pretty face. He swore he saw the slightest grin reach your lips before you stuck out your tongue and caught the mess he was making.

And then it was over. You were covered in his cum from what didn’t reach your mouth, bare and still shaking. You looked so pathetic, ruined. Your mascara had fallen down your face at some point and it looked like you had been crying.

Now what?

His mind was clear for the first time in months, thinking about how they’d been gone thirty minutes or so. How would they answer the questions that would undoubtedly be thrown their way? How the fuck were you going to be able to get yourself together again, looking like what you did before you came into the bathroom?

You were sitting on the ground, wiping cum from your face with paper towels that you got from above you. Joel reached to the side and handed you your dress after fitting his soft cock back into his jeans.

“Here, baby.” He said softly.

Silence.

There was something hanging in the air, unsaid. Was it guilt? Shame? For acting like complete animals the first time you two were alone together, devouring one another whole.

And then, your shoulders heaved and a deep sob left your mouth. It was the saddest thing he’d ever heard, full of pain and hurt. He immediately felt it in his own chest.

You weren’t going to cry naked on the bathroom floor, so he picked up your dress and held each of your arms up as he put it over your head and dressed you, letting out soft, “shhh”’s to you.

He wet a few paper towels and bent down to face you, gently grasping your face as you were shying away from him, tears falling. Your eyebrows were turned inwards, your face showing just how much pain you were feeling.

He wiped your face softly, focusing underneath your eyes where your mascara was running. He cleaned you up and then held your face in his hands, you, squeezing your eyes shut so he couldn’t see you. Or rather, you couldn’t see him and the look upon his face.

He sat fully on the ground and pulled you into his lap, doing a once-over to make sure you were all dressed and clean. You’re immediately nestled your head into his neck and he placed his large hand on the back of your head, holding you there gently.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby girl. You can let it all out, okay? I’m here baby. Let them out, it hurts too much when you don’t.” He stroked your hair and prayed that you felt comfortable in his arms.

He could tell this was painful for you, crying in front of him- the vulnerability and nakedness it took to completely lose yourself in front of another human. He understood that he had just taken something from you, had just hit something deep within you.

“Birdie, look at me,” he whispered. You opened your eyes without question and waited.

“Be weak with me. Break, rupture, scream. Intertwine your bones with mine and I will hold ‘em safely so they can rest. I’ve got you baby. ‘M not gonna hurt you.”

You didn’t respond, so he put your back against his chest and rocked your slightly, letting you have the silence and calm.

Minutes passed and your sobs eventually stopped, Joel’s shirt soaked from them. You moved so that he was holding you, but could look into your eyes better.

“I’m sorry baby girl, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He let out, shamefully. He knew he could be overpowering, he’d been told before. “Let me stand up and I’ll leave, okay? Tell ‘em that I couldn’t find you but I looked everywhere.”

“You can’t just touch me like that and then leave,” you let out, begging him.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Notes: Here’s Joel arguing with himself, trying to justify his actions as he descends into his own chaos.

I added more dialogue because in my mind Birdie is so lost in pleasure during the last chapter that she isn’t even narrating everything to herself/us.

And I just wanted a dirty talking Joel ;) You know me.

Someone referred to ‘carnal!joel’ and my heart grew 10 times bigger. I love it.

Tag List: @strang3lov3 @leeeesahhh @blackvelveteen1339 @huffle-punk @xxmr-potato-headxx @ssssc0m @paleidiot @i-love-rafe @silkiers @gracevn @scarletsloveletter