#behold… gen kill content

[blood-mocha-latte]

generation kill as ao3 tags

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[kiranatrix]

Need some Death Note fanfic to read while avoiding family, recovering exams/work, or just cause? Here’s everything I wrote in 2020 for Death Note. I’ll be updating this post for 2021 eventually. I organized them by type of work (in-progress fics, finished chaptered fics, tumblr fics, and one-shots).

IN-PROGRESS FICS BEING UPDATED NOW

Dial K for Kira: Lawlight//Rated E. Summary: Light needs some easy money to finance his Kira plans, and notices there’s a big demand for Kira roleplay phone sex. So he figures, “Why not? Pretty sure I’ll be convincing.” He raises some fast cash and plans to shut the whole thing down and get back to writing names, until he gets a request from somebody who wants to “roleplay” as L.

Catch Perfect [with @resilicns]: Lawlight/Rated M. Summary: Light’s desk catches on fire during the placement of L’s illegal surveillance cameras in the Yagami household, burning up the Death Note. Light forgets everything, the killings suddenly stop, and Kira fades away from the public consciousness but never from L’s. Six years later, Ryuk returns to Earth with a new Death Note for Light, now an agent in INTERPOL, ready for Round 2. L’s ready too.

Good Bones [with @main-exam]: Lawlight/Rated E. Summary: Mello and Matt have a seance with a cursed Ouija board but summon a very annoyed Ryuk from the Shinigami Realm into the attic of a gothic mansion. Fast forward a few years and Light Yagami is a realtor in England, vying for the title of Realtor King from the current champ. He's determined to sell this discount mansion with a bad reputation, but just as Light starts to make friends with the mansion's ghost, a ghost-hunting detective gets wind that something spooky is going on.

FINISHED CHAPTERED FICS

Koi No Yokan [with @ghostoftasslehoff​]: Lawlight//Rated E. Light decides to take a little risk and seek a no-strings-attached hookup and gets a surprising (accidental) match. Light and L gradually open up to each other over the course of a night, not knowing who the other is. However, as they go back to their lives in the morning, suspicions take hold and secrets come to light. The chance meeting starts to feel a lot more like fate as L closes in on Kira, and both must decide whether they felt anything real for the other and what that means. 

Lux Aeterna [with @ghostoftasslehoff​]: Lawlight//Rated E. Vampire AU. The world’s greatest vampire hunter, L Lawliet, heads to Romania with his mentor Watari to investigate some odd disappearances. Meanwhile, the 400-year-old vampire, Light, has recently awoken from his century-long slumber to find the world has changed, but his thirst for the blood of sinners hasn’t. 

Enemy of My Enemy [with @my-one-true-l​]: Light Yagami/Beyond Birthday//Rated T. It’s just another day for To-Oh’s top student Light Yagami, until he runs into a mysterious new student in class who can see Ryuk. Beyond is set on getting to Kira before L does but things take a twist when Light gets him alone.

TUMBLR FICS

Strange Fiction: Death Note Ficlets: Various//Rated Gen to T. Thirty-nine ficlets and more added periodically. Lawlight, Ryuk & Light being bros, MikaLight, gen fic, Remisa, Android AU, stories of Light and L’s childhood, etc.

ONE-SHOTS

Get Well Soon [with art by @sketchyspirit​]: Lawlight//Rated E. Summary: Light buys Misa a birthday present which L jealously intercepts. Possessiveness and misunderstandings threaten to rock the precarious agreement between Light and L, where each has made dangerous sacrifices to stay together after the end of the Kira case. 

Phototaxis: Lawlight//rated G. Summary: L comes over to the Yagami's household for dinner and to work on a project with Light. On the menu are suspicions, ulterior motives, and nobody saying what they mean.

Orbit: Lawlight//Rated T. Summary: Light’s having lunch under the cherry trees with his friends at To-Oh, but L unexpectedly shows up and runs everyone else off but Light. A missing scene, a private conversation with L's 'first friend' and rival under the spring sakura.

Appetites: Lawlight//Rated T. Summary: It was never about cake.

Main Attraction [with @ghostoftasslehoff​, with art by @ohgodplsdontlook​]: Lawlight//Rated E. Summary: Light invites L to the movies but L expects to be bored since Light picked the flick. Light has a secret plan to make sure that L will be on the ‘edge’ of his seat the whole time-- a toy that L doesn't know is remote-controlled. L finds out the hard way, and at the worst (best) moments.

Obsolete: Ryuk/Light//Rated T. Summary: Light lives all his life in the span of a day, but Ryuk will live that day over an eternity.

Beholder’s Eye: Lawlight//Rated M. Summary: Light's rudely awoken and seemingly kidnapped to face his execution, but all is not what it seems.

One of a Pair [with @ghostoftasslehoff​]: Lawlight//Rated M. Fencing AU. Summary: Light has just quit the To-Oh fencing team and the team Captain, Ryuzaki, will do just about anything to provoke him to come back, including challenging Light to an illegal duel.

Restitution: Lawlight//Rated T. Summary: L tries to pay Light a salary for his work on the Task Force to assuage the prickling of guilt he feels, but that’s not what Light wants.

Kodama [with @ghostoftasslehoff​]: Lawlight//Rated T. Summary: Seven years after L’s death, Light feels compelled to visit his grave and take solace under the strange, dead tree nearby. L’s watching from Mu and takes residence in the sacred tree, changing it and Light, who can’t see him.

Still Life: Light/Light//Rated T. Summary: Light stumbles upon a painting that he bears an uncanny resemblance to and discovers a magical secret behind who was cursed to dwell within it for 300 years. It might just be the best luck of his life (or the worst).

Dark Horse [with art by @daathdweller]: Gen fic. Linda left Wammy's House for a brilliant art career, but never forgot how she'd been passed over as one of L's successors. She decides to work in the shadows as the detective L2 when a new Kira appears in 2019, moving fast to tackle the case that the 'official' L seems content to ignore. Roger told her art never helped solve a case, but he was wrong. 

Technology Liaison: Light & Ryuk. Light gets curious about what the Death Note is really made of and asks Ryuk. What happens when paper becomes obsolete in the increasingly digital world?

Yosuzume [with art by @ikathemadhatter​]: Beyond-centric//Rated T. Summary: Beyond’s shinigami eyes have always set him apart and given him knowledge no human should possess. His obsession with divining and controlling the future has led him to develop his own rituals, which weave themselves into his life and the events of the LABB case.

Names and Distant Things [with art by @ikathemadhatter]: Beyond/L// Rated T. Summary: Beyond knew when L was planning to visit Wammy’s House because a padlock would appear on the second refrigerator in the kitchen. A day or so later, a green Aston Martin would roll up the long, oak-lined driveway in the dead of night, headlights off and practically invisible. Not to Beyond, though; his strange eyes had always seen more than others could-- names and distant things; an antique car in the darkness or the date someone will die.

Copper and Silver: Beyond/L//Rated M. Magician AU. Summary: There had always been two types of magic in the world. One was quite real but elusive, and more of a curse than a blessing on those who could channel it. The other was the magic of mankind-- the sleight of hand or memory trick, the careful distraction or well-placed mirror. It was the business of the famed illusionist Lazarus, also (un)known as L Lawliet, that no one in his audience should ever know the difference.

For fics before 2020, check out my AO3 (ZombieJesus) here!

[chupacabrasmustdie]

Ovella negra

If there's one thing we love here, it's spending way too much time thinking about minor characters - and when I heard Sylvando's audiobook mentioned a circus mentor, i knew i was in for a treat.

So without further ado, have some baby Sylv meeting madam Rose. 1k words, pre-canon, gen af. Scroll down or read it on AO3!

Thanks to the ever great @venatohru ​​ for going over this <3 remaining mistakes all mine.

---

He followed the circus from a distance for a couple of days, stopping when they did, far enough to escape detection but close enough to discourage prowlers and wild animals. On the third night, his back hurt from sleeping on the ground and he was ready to make his grand entrance.

Turns out, they had little interest in who he was, and much more in what he was willing to share. The dry-cured ham put stars in everyone’s eyes; the bottle of sweet white wine (snatched from the family cellar) helped convince them to introduce him to the ringmaster.

The juggler led him away from the campfire, to a wagon parked a bit further near the treeline. Truly, a sight to behold: a pink and red monstrosity, adorned with touches of gold and floral decorations. “Wait here,” the man said, and disappeared through an impossibly narrow door. He came back after what felt like an eternity and ushered him in with a wink.

Inside, sitting among piles of colorful clothing, stage props and flashy trinkets, was an old woman with long, dark hair, her eyes outlined with heavy black makeup. She could’ve been fifty or sixty years old, maybe more; her face was covered in wrinkles, but her movements were still lively - graceful, even. Laying down her smoking pipe, she gave him a curious look, her large golden earrings tingling softly. “And who might you be?”

He’d had enough time to come up with a ready answer. “Ernesto, milady.”

She barked out a laugh, and waved at the tiny space around them. “Have you seen a lady here? ‘Cause I sure haven’t. Madam Rose will do.”

Ignoring the heat creeping up his neck, he nodded. “Understood.”

“And loosen up a little, for goodness’ sake. This isn’t troops review.” He rushed to unclasp his hands from behind his back; the movement caught her eye and she reached out to catch one of his hands in hers, turning it around and inspecting it closely. He resisted the urge to bat her hands away, wondering if she was able to guess who he was, somehow. He’d always dismissed palm reading as superstitious nonsense, but…

“Interesting,” she said, letting him go. “A soft hand, well-cared for…with a couple of distinctive calluses.” Toying with one of her earrings, she gave him an easy smile. “A young man of good breeding with a knack for fencing, then. Is that right, Ernesto?”

He observed a cautious silence, and realized that he’d somehow assumed the same posture she’d just made fun of, neck and shoulders rigid with tension. He willed his muscles to relax without exhaling too deeply.

“Thing is,” she continued, taking a long drag on her pipe. “We don’t usually take in runaway young nobles. It tends to end badly.”

“I’m not,” he started, but the look she gave him shut him up right then and there.

“As I was saying…” She blew a couple of smoke rings, lost in her thoughts for a moment. “We circus people have a bad enough reputation as it is. The last thing we need is angry wealthy people making things more difficult for us.”

He licked his lips, giving his next sentence some serious consideration. “You said you don’t usually take in runaway nobles.”

“So?”

“So I take it you have done it, occasionally.”

“Someone paid attention during their rhetoric lessons,” she smirked. “Yes, darling, we do welcome the occasional black sheep. But…” She gave him the once-over and the line of her mouth hardened. “You look both too young to make that call, and too old to start training with us.”

He forced a smile on his face, fingernails digging into his palms. “I’m a quick learner.”

“I’m sure you are, darling.”

“I’m fast, I have good balance. I can walk a tightrope.” She nodded, obviously unimpressed, but it was the shrill of desperation in his own voice that made his cheeks burn with embarrassment. There had to be something he could say to change her mind - a talent he possessed that would make him a worthwhile addition…

To hell with it. “I’m a good dancer, a decent singer. And I play a mean dulzaina.”

She took the pipe out of her mouth and turned to look at him. “You play the dulzaina?”

“Yes! Recorder, castanets, various percussion instruments, but mostly the dulzaina.”

“We could use another musician,” she mused. The lines around her mouth deepened as she added, “but not another mouth to feed.”

Last throw of the dice, he thought as he rummaged in his satchel to produce a small piece of velvet. Unfolding it carefully, he held up its content for her to see - and she gasped.

“Put that thing away,” she hissed. “Are you mad? Or just trying to get yourself killed?”

“No, not at all,” he stammered, hiding the offensive item as fast as he could. “I simply wished to show you I can pay for my tuition.”

“You absolute fool.” She hid her face in her hands and groaned. “Honey, if you have any common sense, you’ll keep that thing hidden until we visit a big city and you can trade it somewhat safely for gold coins.”

In the heavy silence that followed, he tried not to grin - and failed. “Does that mean you’re letting me stay with you?”

She snarled and he took a step back. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

He held her gaze until her expression softened into something almost affectionate. “Oh, what the hell… Why not? I feel it my duty to protect such a spendy, sheltered youth. And if they happen to play a mean dulzaina… how could I resist?”

The mocking made him blush - again - but he supposed he’d earned it. He knew the pearl was precious, it was the very reason he’d brought it with him; but he’d failed to realize just how precious, and how it was bound to attract greed. He guessed he really had lived quite a sheltered life in Puerto Valor.

He bowed his head, fist on his chest - a typically caballero gesture, he realized too late. “You won’t regret it, I promise. Thank you, mil-” The word died away on his lips under her stare, “Madam Rose.”

“I’d better not, or it’s back to sword fencing for you.”

Not a bad perspective, for most people; all his training companions had considered themselves lucky. But the thought of going home with his tail between his legs - of facing his father - made his stomach twist.

“It won’t come to that.”

She waved him off. “We’ll see. Off with you, now, darling…a lady needs her beauty sleep.”

Her hoarse laughter followed him out of the wagon, and back to the campfire.

[inorganicone2230]

The Caged Bird (Part 1) Yandere!Erasermic x Fem!Reader

Part 2

Summery: For the Gods of Life and Death, loneliness seemed a heavy thing to bare when confronted with the prospect of facing it for an eternity, even with each other. That is until a chance encounter with a certain someone prompts them to think that just maybe, that lonely eternity can be abated, as long as they have the right person to share it with.

Side Note: This is a prequel to my other Yandere!Erasermic story called Divine Intervention. If you have not read that one yet, I highly recommend you go and do that before reading this one.

Warnings: Not many for this chapter, just some light stalking, mentions of future kidnapping and some mentions of breeding.

Eternity matters very little when one has existed since the beginning of time, and will continue to exist well into the future.

The same can be said for time, Hizashi thought as he stared into the waters of the koi pond. It was quite hard to understand the concept of time when it holds no meaning to beings like himself and Shouta, creatures who had come into existence already knowing who and what they were. From the moment they first breathed life they knew what their purpose in the world was, they knew everything, even what they meant to each other.

It had been so long since those early years, when they first began to watch the creatures that inhabited the world they now looked after, when they first began to watch the humans grow and live and die under Shouta's care, and Hizashi himself began to help them create new life and souls to take the place of the fallen who waited to be reborn.

Soon though, like with many things, habit took over and after a few centuries, the day to day flow of life and death took to the pattern and went on without much needed assistance from either of their respective deities. They were needed very little anymore, seeing as the humans seemed content to handle their affairs without any intervention from the ones they called gods.

Yes they were still worshiped, but anything the humans took as a sign from them was merely all in their heads, they saw gifts and blessings and answers to their prayers only in what they wanted to see, never realizing that it was all perceived.

Perhaps this lack of stimulation is when he and Shouta began to feel a need to spend more time together. It was inevitable really, even if they hadn't felt an immediate connection to one another the moment they were ‘born’, it was only natural that they would eventually be pushed together. Even beings of higher power were not immune to the effects of loneliness and being the only ones in this immortal realm, they soon found solace and love in each other, both emotionally and physically.

This day however found Hizashi alone and without his love to keep him company. Shouta having had to travel to the underworld, a place Hizashi adamantly refused to ever set foot in, for some reason he couldn't be bothered to remember. Standing up, he made the decision to try and find something to occupy his time until his counterpart returned.

Walking back into his and Shouta's room though, he noted that something was off. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was out of place. It took him a moment to notice that the change wasn't visual, but auditory, there was an ever present sound missing from the room.

The song of a little red cardinal that Shouta had gifted him with a few months ago. He had smiled sweetly, saying it was meant to keep him company on the rare days he would wake up in bed alone. Hizashi had dotted on the creature from the very moment he had seen it, and he felt very saddened as he stared at the now empty golden cage. He must have made the mistake of not latching the door properly when he had fed it this morning.

As luck would have it though, Shouta chose that very moment to walk in and upon seeing the forlorn look on his golden lovers face, immediately began to question him. “Zashi? What's wrong?” He asked gently, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Hizashi turned to face him, worrying Shouta even more when he saw the small tears in the corner of his eye. “Oh Shouta, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, a slight tremble to his voice.

Perplexed, Shouta took the blonds face in his hands. “Now what could you be apologizing for my love? Tell me.”

“The cardinal you gave me,” Hizashi started, looking once more at the empty cage. “I must not have locked it's cage properly this morning, and it got out.”

Now he understood the reason for his somber mood. “Ah, that is a shame. But we may be able to find it still.” He said teasingly, loving the way Hizashi instantly perked up.

“Really?! You think so?”

Shouta chuckled, Hizashi's eagerness practically contagious. “Of course, it was here in our realm long enough that some of our essence must have rubbed off on it. I bet it flew to the human realm and we can follow the trail. It couldn't have gotten very far after all.”

“Then let us go right away! We can just cloak ourselves to keep any of the mortals from bothering us!” He began to turn away, heading straight for the gateway they used when crossing realms, but stopped and turned to give Shouta a brilliant smile. “What would I ever have done without you Shou?”

Now it was Shouta's turn to blush a bit. “Probably about as well as I would have done without you Zashi.”

----------

Of course even for Gods, trying to find the little bird in the mortal realm was no easy feat, even if they did have an idea where it was. Namely, in one of the eastern countries forests.

“Perhaps we should come back tomorrow Shou? We will still be able to find it in the morning, our essence should still linger on the little creature even after a night away from us.” Hizashi suggested as he looked around. The sun was already beginning to set, twilight colors of orange and yellow filling up the tucked away little glen they found themselves in.

Hizashi’s good mood seemed to stick with him, even if they hadn't yet found his beloved little pet. Something that Shouta was extremely grateful for, he hated to see his golden partner without his trademark smile. But, his loves chipper mood does give him an idea, one he is all to willing to share with him as he reaches out to pull the blonde closer.

“You know, we don't have to return right away.” Shouta whispered into his ear. “It's so peaceful and quiet here, and the sunset is so lovely, it would be such a shame to waste it. Wouldn't you agree my love?” He pressed himself against his hip, laving Hizashi's neck with feather light kisses.

It didn't take Hizashi long to catch on, not that Shouta was being subtle about his desires, and he reached up to tangle his hands in black as night hair. “I think you are right.” He sighed, leaning back against a tree for support as Shouta grinned wickedly and dived in for a deep kiss that he was all too eager to return.

“You poor thing…”

Their passionate kiss abruptly ended the moment they heard the voice from somewhere behind them.

Tuning to look at a break in the trees, they spotted the figure of a young, pretty, mortal woman. Dressed in simple robes and kneeling in the grass to gently cradle something in her hands, Hizashi instantly recognizing the bright red feathers of his cardinal, along with the faintest hint of the heavenly aura that clung to it.

“Your wing is broken, but it appears to be a clean break.” She mumbled thoughtfully, bringing the lovely bird closer to her face for a closer inspection, her brow scrunching in a rather adorable way. “I should be able to fix you up, and in a few weeks you will be flying high in the sky again.”

The bird let out a weak little chirp and continued to lay still in the girls hands, as if it sensed that she posed no danger and was only looking to help. Both Gods silently admitting to themselves that it was a rather precious sight to behold.

Shouta noted that Hizashi was making no move to stop her as she got up and began to move away, walking slowly so as not to jostle or further harm the animal. “Are you not going to stop her? You were so adamant about finding it.”

The God of Life seemed to come out of a daze, shaking himself a bit and blinking his eyes. “I… don't know. It seems as if she is just trying to help.” He mumbled, as the two of them began to follow the oblivious girl through the darkening forest. “Quite the odd gesture for a human, they normally wouldn't stop to help one of their own kind unless it benefited them in some way, let alone a wounded animal.”

Shouta couldn't deny his agreement with the observation. It seemed they were both intrigued by this turn of events. He was curious to see where this fascination would lead them if they continued to watch this play out. “Perhaps we should allow her to care for it. We can retrieve it once it has been healed.” Shouta said, knowing that Hizashi’s interest would cause him to take to the suggestion right away. The blonde grinned and nodded, just as he expected him to. At the very least, this will prove to be a way to kill some time, he thought.

They continued to follow her, listening as she cooed and spoke to the feathered creature in her hands. Hizashi found himself thinking that it was a voice best suited for a mother, a voice meant for singing lullabies and chasing away nightmares.

Wait… what…? Hizashi gave himself pause. Where had that come from?

It was so random, a prospect that had never crossed him before. But now that it was there, it was running rampant in his mind. Like a wildfire, it exploded and he was consumed with thoughts of little bodies nestled in strong arms, the pitter-patter of feet on marble floors, and the sounds of mirth and laughter echoing through the empty halls of the palace.

He was so consumed with these fantasies that he failed to notice they had followed the girl all the way to her destination, jumping when The God of Death took his hand in his own and bringing him back to reality.

“Are you alright Zashi?” He asked, genuine concern lacing his tone.

“Of course!” He replied, just a tad bit too exuberantly. His smile dropping a bit when Shouta raised a knowing brow indicating that he was not taken in by it. “Truly, I'm fine Shou. I was just caught up in some rather unexpected thoughts. I can tell you all about them when we get home. How does that sound?”

“I have a feeling I know what those thoughts might entail, but I would love to hear them nonetheless.” Shouta said, satisfied for now with the knowledge that they could speak about it later.

They watched as the girl entered a modest looking home that was secluded away from other people, close to the edge of the forest. And upon closer inspection, it appeared that she lived alone as well.

They watched her for a bit longer as she lit candles and a fire in the hearth and began tending to the birds broken wing with expert hands, her touches light and quick as if she had done this plenty of times before.

All to soon she was done, preparing a small meal for herself and crushing a few berries for the bird before retiring for the evening, leaving the two men to reluctantly return to their home in the heavens.

----------

Later that night, as Shouta and Hizashi held each other close in bed, they spoke quietly of many things, including what had transpired that day and how it could affect their future.

They spoke of the need they felt to be together more often than in the past, of the guilt Shouta felt whenever he had to leave Hizashi to go to the underworld, of Hizashi's lonely days spent in this large empty palace tending to the Water’s of Eternity, and of what Hizashi realized out in the forest. Unbeknownst to him at that time, Shouta was having the same thoughts concerning the pretty human girl.

They whispered to each other how wonderful it would be to have another with them to fill the void whenever the other was gone, how nice it would be to have a feminine presence around their home, and how soon they would be filling the rooms of it with little ones.

“She has such a sweet voice Shouta.” Came Hizashi's dreamy sigh as he nuzzled his face into  his lovers broad chest. “I can't stop imagining what it will be like to listen to her sing a lullaby, it will be so perfect!”

Shouta chuckled at his antics, his own thoughts consumed with many of the same ideas. “Yes. And she seems to have a very nurturing personality, perfect for a mother.” He added, feeling himself being swept along by Hizashi's enthusiasm.

“I know it's a bit early to make a final decision, but I can't help feeling like this was meant to be Shouta. Like this is what we have been waiting for and we were supposed to find her.” Hizashi felt a wellspring of happiness at just the thought of what the future was looking to hold for them.

Shouta nodded along, content to listen to all of the blonds gushing fantasies and plans, taking note of ones he came back to repeatedly so that they could better plan for them later on.

“We can go back tomorrow and watch some more.” Hizashi finally seemed to have calmed down a bit, though the big smile he wore for the last few hours stayed in place. “I want to know everything about her. She is going to be so happy once we bring her home, once she sees all the work we will have put in. I just know it.”

“I agree, we’ll have to plan accordingly and approach her only when the time is right. We don't want to give her cause to think she has reason to fear us, that just wouldn't do.” Shouta said, plans already forming in his head as he ran his hands through Hizashi's hair.

The two stayed up well into the night discussing all their hopes and dreams this new plan was bringing out, neither one ever realizing that they had never even learned what the girls name was.

I’m not too sure how I feel about this chapter honestly, but as long as you all like it I’ll be happy!

Let me know what you thought and please enjoy!

[whataliethatwas]

Let’s start with this one that I’ve had in mind for weeks but keep putting off because it overwhelms me.  I want to write an in-depth analysis supported by the text and possibly a table of contents, but it’s 2020 (at least where I live? who knows at this point) and it’s never going to happen unless I just kind of put it out there and add stuff as I find it or the mood strikes.   I was really struck this reread with just how much Sophos and Eugenides are like OTP friends (Sophos giving Gen a backup tantrum sword, anyone?), little Gen and Gen 2.0 meant to be in each-other’s lives, enabling each-other with guns (regretfully) and possibly bonking each-other on the head with wine amphora's to keep each on track as a young king ascended to great power.  

Entry 1: one of the first lies Eugenides tells himself without realizing it.   

What a lie that was. 

First Impressions

Gen says of Sophos: "...but the younger one looked to be completely useless."

But let us consider: "I wanted to look lithe and graceful and perhaps feral as I unwrapped my feet and sat up. Caught by surprise and nearly blind, I was clumsy and would have fallen off the stone bunk if the chain had not still been wrapped around one foot."

OR perhaps

"I saw that Sophos had also placed me in the category of unreliable livestock."

Obviously Gen has reached ‘comfortable with myself and my identity’ earlier than Sophos (in TT and regained in QoA), but I’m going to have to call this one more of a draw than I might have previously.  Keeping in mind The Thief is a narrative written to/for the Queen of Eddis, it’s funny to tease out all the little details Gen notices about Sophos and chooses to tell Helen about.  I’m actually now wondering if part of her willingness to court Sophos via letters was because of the implicit Sophos-loving-hours recommendation she received from Gen in his narrative.  Of course, Gen has a detail-oriented little mind and notices a lot of things about his companions, but a lot of the details we get about Sophos can also double as things that attract Gen to him as a friend, like his kindness, humility, blushing (entertaining), fascination with learning (natural classification and emerging sciences, ancient temples, watch-making), as well as characteristics of a potentially good leader after Gen learns Sophos’s own ‘hidden’ identity.  

And a few  few traits they have in common and scenes that trace a little of their similar character arcs:

Sophos: "Sophos was just learning the motions, but he showed some talent and coordination. With a good instructor, he'd be a dangerous opponent."

Gen: “...they stood and watched me turn an orderly hunt into a knot of fallen horses and wounded men.”

I like to imagine sword and gun-wielding pirate king Sophos as Gen’s future dueling partner when in town.  

Sophos:  'Behold,' said the magus with a sweep of his hand, 'the place where we were supposed to have lunch. Take a quick look, Sophos. It's your first heathen temple.'...Sophos was as fascinated as the magus."

Gen:  "I made the reluctant physician bring me the books from my library to check the dating on the pillars outside the maze's entrance. They were unlike anything I could find recorded."

Sophos:  "I thought an academic interest was exactly what he objected to. Didn't he threaten to throw you into the river tied to a stack of encyclopedias?"

Gen:  "Maybe in the future my aunts and uncles would be willing to overlook the fact that I read too many books and can't ride a horse, sing a song in tune, or carry on a polite conversation - all accomplishments that are suppose to be more highly valued than swordplay but aren't."

And to make it sad, one of the reasons they are both well on their way to being great kings:

Sophos:  "'I've known Pol my entire life,' Sophos said unevenly. 'I don't want him to be dead', he insisted, as if his wishes should be granted. 'He has a wife, and he has two children,' he wailed, 'and I am going to have to tell them.'"

Gen:  "I shuddered and closed my eyes again. The man I'd killed could have had no clue that he was facing a skilled opponent. He'd judged me by my novice sword and my size. I had taken him by surprise and killed him. I might just as well have stabbed him in the back in an alley. Did he have a wife and two children? Who would tell them that he was dead?"

[phantomchick]

Tony Stark Fic Recs

Burning Candles - by kerravon Hurt/comfort, exhaustion, concussions, hurt tony, steve is a bro, nick fury being morally shady, the avengers! Summary: A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

Fifth Time Lucky - by Arkada oneshot, fluff, this fic is short, sweet and a lot of fun. Well worth the read. Summary:  Tony Stark has five soulmates, but he gave up on finding any of them a long time ago.

Hide A Heart Of War - by RayShippouUchiha Tony Centric 2 chapter fic. Flower soul mark au. EXCELLENT ANGST.  Lots of feels, there’s also a slow burn romance in the background. Rhodey is a good bro. Loving all the descriptions of the soulmarks. Summary:  “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

The (Not So) Great Pretender - by RayShippouUchiha Complete, secret identities, tony/bucky which i don’t usually ship but hey this author really makes it worth it. Oblivious Avengers. Hilarious but also angsty? Summary: Basically no one believes Tony when he tells them he’s Iron Man so he’s just... reluctantly keeping his secret identity going? It’s super funny.

To Victor Goes the Spoils - by tisfan Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, 10 chapters, complete, secret identities. Summary: In which Doom finds himself at a super hero masked ball... and gaining the attentions of the handsome and charming Tony Stark...Just one dance... just one kiss... before Doom unleashes his evil plot. Backstory: I accidentally stumbled on this doom x iron man fic so i thought i’d read it for laughs but then the fic itself was really good and I was suckered into shipping it. Now I’m in rarepair hell. The end. 

Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark...Not Recommended - by lilsmartass Gen. Complete. 9 chapters. Angst, lots of angst. Hurt/comfort. Unintentional bullying. Rhodey is the captain of the tony stark defence squad. AND HE WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE. Summary: Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be.

That Which Kills Us - by Ironlawyer Ultimates!verse, steve/tony, oneshot, internalised homophobia, Tony is not a good patient. Summary: Sometimes Tony hates being alive as much as he hates dying. Trying to juggle duties to The Ultimates and a terminal illness isn’t exactly easy. Throw in an irate Steve Rogers and things just get too damn complicated.

Doomed To Failure - by DobbyRocksSocks Oneshot, excellent content, i read this fic and then i had to sit in my chair and be like ‘whoa’ for a while. This au is very well done! Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate on one wrist, and their mortal enemy on the other. What do you do when it's the same person?

Say Goodbye to Yesterday - by melonbutterfly 4 chapter fic, complete, time loop, team building, alien invasion. time travel is a trope i keel over for this you must learn. Summary:  The day after the invasion Tony wakes up and his tower is intact again; everything is exactly the way it was before this whole mess went down. 

Don't Bet Against the House - by AlexTheShipper 2 chapter fic, complete, protective Jarvis, team dynamics, fluff Summary:  In which jokes about the arc reactor are not taken lightly, not by JARVIS who will never again sit trapped in his servers as someone attempts to kill Sir.

From A to Z - by Rachel500 26 chapter fic.Complete. Very very good, *sips fruit juice out of my champaigne glass* a classic of the genre! I’m a sucker for time travel as a trope, pair that with fixing the disaster that was the mcu chronology? BUDDY I’M SOLD.\ Summary: “OK, hypothetically, you get sent back in time one year. Does that make a difference?” Strange asked. “Two? Three? Could you live through the worst experience of your life again to preserve enough of the timeline to continue? Could you stand aside and let someone you love live through a bad experience in their life?” “OK. I get it. Bad idea.” Tony smirked at Strange to cover for his unease. “So. Plan B?” Strange grinned but there was a serious glint in his eyes. “How about we make it plan Z?”

Acceptable Risk Is Not - by izumi2 Super bamf tony, oneshot, Maria Hill redemption arc. Captain america the winter soldier. Not steve friendly but this can be blamed on the plot of the movie making zero sense with hindsight. Summary: what if someone considered an alternate solution to the data drop?  THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS FOR REASONS SO PLEASE TRY IT.

The Course of Reason - by Infie Oneshot, aftermath of captain america civil war, Carol Danvers is a relateable ho whom I stan, the saltiest of all possible responses to that film. YESSSS. This is it. The fic that finally knocked me over the edge onto the civil war team iron man side of the fence. BEHOLD. It’s greatness. Summary: The UN has asked Tony to discuss their options with the Fugitive Avengers. It does not go the way they expect it to.

Uncompromising Principles - by Kizmet 19 chapter fic, it’s completed and it’s very well done, legal drama, Tony/Pepper, Steve is... a good person who made mistakes, he’s trying anyway, i can’t say more without spoilers, but it’s A Ride, like you’ll read this and it’ll make you have Feelings and Thoughts and it’s very clever in how it goes about making those Feelings and Thoughts happen. Captain America: civil war aftermath fic. Summary: After leaving Siberia Captain America begins his plans to overturn the Accords. But not all is as it seems.Not compliant with the end of "Civil War".

To intervene - by apathyinreverie Currently at 15 chapters, ongoing, a lot of fun, tony stark has a heart, tony and rhodey, civil war team iron man, mutant kind, pro accords. Summary: The one where Rhodey stages an intervention after the whole Ultron fiasco.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi - by Maedlin Treat yo’self. It’s a Time travel fic. ONE OF THE BEST: Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf Jarvis, Palladium Poisoning, Complete, 26 chapter fic, but you’ll wish it was longer by the time you’re done. (Luckily there’s an ongoing sequel series to enjoy!) THIS FIC IS SUPREMELY GOOD! And HEAVY on the Jarvis love! DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TRY IT SERIOUSLY YOU WON’T REGRET READING THIS. Highest of recs goes to this. Summary:  (We came, we saw, we loved.) Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly.  Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man.  Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues. All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) - by Infinite_Monkeys 5 Chapter fic, and it’s Completed. Time travel fix it, not strictly tony stark-centric but still a firm fave, A masterpiece. Definitely in my top 5 time travel fics and i’ve read a LOT so that’s saying something! Contains: That Good Loki Content. Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: He'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly. Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.

(Science) Bros before (HYDRA) Hoes - by Kizmet Tony is the captain of the Bruce Banner defence squad, Legal Shenanigans, It’s marked as Ongoing but what’s there is satisfying enough on its own I promise, basically a huge callout for Johannesburg, Hulk deserves a hug. Summary: The Hulk isn’t taken from the planet after AoU, there’s no one conveniently out of reach to take the fall for Johannesburg… A choice is going to have to be made: Wanda or the Hulk. 

A Larger Matter - by TheSovereigntyofReality Oneshot. Consequences! The ‘Steve’s blood’ scene in the agent carter tv show always pissed me off so this fic was uh Cathartic shall we say, but honestly you can read it and have it make perfect sense even without having seen the show, Howard Stark, teenaged Tony, Team Stark. Woohoo. Summary: When Peggy Carter tipped out Steve's blood, she had no idea the hornet's nest she just kicked.

Who in their Right Mind... - by AnonEhouse Crackfic, Oneshot Summary: Dum-E saves the universe

Catching Butterflies - by GremlinSR Ongoing, 6 chapters and counting, very very good content, like you wouldn’t think so from the summary which is a little bland but it’s actually very very good. Believe me when I tell you: It contains The Good Stuff. Time Travel fix it, Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf yet confused T’Challa. Summary: Tony snaps his fingers...and wakes up five days before the events that led to the death of JARVIS and the creation of Ultron. He decides he won't let the future he lived come to pass, no matter how thoroughly he has to destroy the timeline.

The War is Far From Over Now - by Dont_call_me_Carrie Ongoing, 40 dhapters and counting, this fic is clearly the author’s baby and they put so much work into it so watching it grow is a pleasure. Protective Jarvis, Protective Stark Industries Employees who like their boss. Rhodey is a good Bro, Awesome Pepper Potts. Fix it via Accidental World Domination. Summary: In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world.... unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo.

Can I Quote You On This? - by Wix Oneshot, Mcu critical, Avengers Critical, salty, extremely salty. Uncovering Plot Holes is easy when the road’s full of them. Summary:  Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.

Strong Enough to Bend - by Kizmet Oneshot, salt and shade, tony stark & steve rogers, the author has Opinions about mcu steve so if that’s not your thing i wouldn’t rec it, not steve friendly? Summary: Steve ‘watches’ the videos on Tony Stark that Shield provides him with

Take that Away and What are You? - by Kizmet Oneshot, kidnapping, bamf tony stark, not steve friendly, I love this fic Summary: Tony and Steve get kidnapped. Since Tony’s wearing a tux, Steve figures it’s all up to him to get them out of this mess. Steve never really thought much about the conditions under which Tony built the Mach I.

Facing the devil (and the deep, blue sea) - by petroltogo Oneshot, au, not steve friendly, steve isn’t a good person in this fic, but it’s juicy, soulmate au, soulmarks Summary:  Alternate title: No obvious truth  Post-CACW: In an alternate universe where everyone has the name of their soulmate and the name of their greatest enemy written on their wrists, recently captured ex-Avenger Steve Rogers receives an unexpected visitor two days before the start of his trial. [The trick is figuring out which name is tied to which fate.] [The trick is realising you’ll never know.]

Asking Why - by Kizmet Oneshot. the relief and catharsis of logic. Nat, Hill, Cho, Rhodey and Pepper sit Tony down to talk about what led to the creation of Ultron. Scapegoating is stupid: The Fanfic edition. Summary: Applying analytical techniques in the aftermath of Ultron

[lovelylogans]

love light gleams

previous chapter | chapter five | next chapter

part of the wyliwf verse.

the sideshire files | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, complicated parental relationships, teenage emancipation, emotional abuse, mentions of being disowned, mentions of transphobia and homophobia, classism, mentions of past underage drinking, crying, religious content (church, going to confession), remus cameo, mentions of choking/killing someone, something similar to the canon “have you thought about killing your brother?” monologue, please let me know if i’ve missed anything!

pairings: gen 

words: 57,686

“can not.”

“can too.”

“can not.”

“can too,” and the argument really would have continued if she didn’t step in now.

“you know he’s not going to stop until you prove it, fred,” essie points out, amused, even as silas pulls a face at her. 

“but she can’t prove it, because doing that is physically impossible,” her twin brother points out. 

freddie puffs out her chest proudly. “watch me,” she brags, and essie politely averts her eyes because she loves her little sister, she really does, but the way she bends her body sometimes makes her stomach twist.

from silas’ “ugh, gross!” and wyatt’s tame “hm, interesting,” it was probably good that she did, and meets eyes with annabelle, who smiles at her, amusement making her eyes twinkle.

“i knew you had a sensitive stomach, but i didn’t know it was that bad,” annabelle teases, soft enough that the others won’t hear. 

essie sticks her tongue out at her fiancée (and she wonders when she’ll stop feeling butterflies when she thinks about marrying annabelle) and annabelle giggles, just a little, before reaching and twining her fingers with essie. essie suppresses her happy sigh and uses it as an excuse to wiggle closer.

the entire danes family was staying at the independence inn for the holiday (well, with the exception of virgil, but that’s expected) and that’s where the four elder danes siblings, plus a danes fiancée, were staying. they’d managed to get an adjoining suite that consisted of a room with two queen beds, a couch, and a bathroom for each, with a door connecting the two. essie and annabelle in one bed, silas and wyatt in the other in their room; since freddie had come first, she had a bed to herself in the other, with their parents in the last remaining bed. 

it wasn’t like essie had stayed in the inn very much, but it hadn’t changed a lot. the inn still had the same antique, historical furniture, the same navy blue duvets, the same dark gray couches and floral wallpaper and little chocolates on the pillow (annabelle had let essie eat hers, which really, that’s true love.) same staff, mostly, other than the natural turnover that came with a lot of high school and college kids who picked up shifts as one of the few places to get a part-time job in sideshire. 

yeah, the inn hadn’t changed a lot. a lot of things in sideshire hadn’t changed very much, which essie found comforting. sometimes, she thought about how even years and years down the line, whenever she came back to visit virgil or childhood friends, taylor doose would still pick fights with her mother; the gazebo would still stay dreamily lit at night; there would still be a million fairs and festivals and ceremonies to attend; there would still be petty town meetings and Town Meetings, the first for town gossip that had bit too much into the time of the official Town Meetings, which dealt with tiny ordinances and regulations (and, to taylor’s eternal dismay, the unofficial town meetings would almost always garner the most interest and attendance.) same mayor porter, and same rudy, editor of the town’s decrepit newspaper, same maria who managed the inn. same danes’ family running the town’s diner.

even though essie felt like she’d changed so much, and yet not at all. strange. comforting.

home.

there’s the sound of keys clattering, then the door in the other room opening, and all of them seem to stir from their various lines of thought.

“mom and dad?” freddie says. “finally, wonder what took them so long?”

“they were probably prepping food for tomorrow, fred,” essie guesses.

no one else can make very many other guesses, before their mother’s voice cheerfully says, “like that, do you think?”

“you know, we could wait until the morning,” and they all blink at each other. virgil’s here. not home.

“what’s the point of that?” their mother asks, then, raising her voice, “kids, you there?”

“hi, mom,” freddie calls, and their mother leans through the doorway, grinning wide.

“good! get your coats!”

she vanishes back into their room while everyone blinks at each other, confused.

“our coats?” silas calls back, uncertainly.

“and one of you, bring your pocket knives in here!” 

“pocket—?” essie begins, but wyatt shrugs, digging his out, and moving into the next room.

“here, mom.”

“thank you, sugar,” she says, sounding pleased, and essie gets up with annabelle to see what’s going on.

annabelle comes in next, and says, “what’s happening?”

“here, right?” meredith says, gesturing at the side of the mattress with the knife.

“probably the least invasive way to damage a mattress, yeah,” cara says; they’d been together at school, she and cara, it had been a bit surprising to hear how high she’d climbed on the inn’s employment ladder.

“again, mom, you could do this in the morning,” virgil says.

“but it won’t be a surprise then,” meredith points out.

“pretty sure it would.”

“um,” essie says, “why are we doing damage to a mattress as a surprise?”

“mom’s lost it,” virgil says wearily.

“shut it,” meredith says cheerfully, and then, with the same smile on her face, plunges the knife into the side of the mattress, using both hands to tug it enough to create a sizable slash, a disconcerting contrast. she removes the knife and tilts her head at it critically. “that good, do you think?”

“yeah, definitely fits the parameters,” cara says. “i’ll get one of the mattresses from an empty room in here for you, to replace this one. thanks, mrs. danes, i know maria was trying to figure that out.”

“oh, no problem,” she says breezily, waving a hand. “thank you for putting up with my late-hours shenanigans.”

cara nods and goes into the hall.

“well?” meredith says, and claps her hands. “coats! coats, everyone!”

silas gives her a Look, but she just shrugs at him and moves back into the other room to pick up her and annabelle’s coats. 

once her mother surveys all of them and decides they’re all properly kitted out, she opens the door.

“let’s go!”

“go where,” silas grumbles.

“where else?” their mother says, and she beams beatifically—their dad, on the other hand, looks exasperated. granted, fond, but definitely still exasperated. “none of us have had the opportunity to fully bother taylor doose on this trip home.”

freddie and silas both scramble for the door.

“silas!” she scolds, a laugh in her voice, and grabs annabelle’s hand to more fully chase after her younger-by-seventeen-minutes brother. 

it’s not a very long walk to doose’s market, nowhere in sideshire is a very long walk—and their mother stops them, and surveys the road, hands on her hips, every inch a general.

“right,” she says, with a decisive nod. “there’s enough snow on the ground. get packing into snowballs, kids.”

freddie outright cackles as she plunges her hands into the nearest snowbank, virgil not far behind.

“so, this taylor guy—” annabelle says in an undertone, as the pair of them bend to scoop snow into their hands.

“taylor doose,” essie elaborates.

“right,” annabelle says. “um, what’s the deal between him and your mom, anyway? it feels like every year i see your mom picking a fight with him.”

“oh, you know how it is,” essie says, trying to keep an airy tone. “small town feuds. it’s been going on for years, no one really knows what—”

“ess,” annabelle says, amused. “why are you getting involved in it?”

essie looks around, as if taylor’s listening. “because…” 

“because?” annabelle prompts, when essie bites her lip and ducks her head.

“because it’s really fun,” she admits with a guilty grin on her face.

annabelle laughs and leans in to kiss her on the cheek. “troublemaker.”

“am not,” essie says. “virgil’s the delinquent and freddie’s the one who’s going to backflip her way through the window, if we let her.”

“yeah, and you’re the one with the innocent face to let them get away with it,” annabelle says. 

“maybe so,” she sniffs, and ascends to her feet, a couple snowballs in her arms.

“right, then,” meredith calls out. “everyone ready?”

noises of affirmation from every danes in the street.

meredith arches her arm back, aims, and fires, her snowball hitting the window of the apartment above the grocery with a WHAP!

and then the rest of them take their cue from there.

there’s constant WHAP! s against the window as they all aim and throw—silas and freddie have the best aim, unsurprisingly, they’ve always been the most athletic of the five of them—but that almost doesn’t matter. 

because essie was telling the truth, in why she gets involved with messing with taylor when she normally wouldn’t dream of deliberately being a nuisance to another person: it’s fun. taylor, in all his grudge-keeping, self-important, self-aggrandizing stuffiness was just fun to pick at and poke at and badger incessantly, partially because of his reaction, but mostly in the way that it brought them all together.

because wyatt is so rarely silly and pejorative, much more inclined to his theories and his books; because silas is so rarely teasing without being a little caustic about it, and seeing his sharp tongue applied to someone who actually deserves it a little is an absolute treat to behold; because freddie, well, freddie’s freddie, she’s pretty constantly a bombastic, fun-loving force of nature, but when they were all picking on taylor it seemed to be taken up to an extra level; because virgil so rarely smiles at something so obviously, and ever since his fierce bender as a teenager (essie had mostly been at college, when it had gotten really, really bad) it’s just nice to see him channel that energy into something, well, not productive, exactly, but something that wasn’t sneaking out of windows or breaking them.

maybe, she thinks, because she—normal, sweet, shy, kind essie, the good kid, the one they didn’t have to worry about all that much—was so rarely a hellion, and maybe fighting with taylor was one way to let her hair down that didn’t involve annabelle gently saying that if she got tipsy at a bar, cut loose, had a little fun dancing, didn’t mean it was the end of the world, didn’t mean that she wasn’t still normal, sweet, shy, kind essie, the one nobody has to worry about all that much, if she made out with her fiancée in the middle of the dance floor and did something a little naughty.

but now, as they all unite in hurling snowballs at taylor doose’s apartment window, cheering each other on and whooping whenever they get a good hit in, congratulating each other, it’s a bit like they’re all kids again and the world’s biggest trouble is getting back at taylor doose for trying to be mean to their mom.

and essie sees a distant light turn on, and the window starts to open, and

“oh for goodness’ sake, WHA— ”

meredith fires one last snowball and it lands its arc true, right as taylor opens the window, and the eight of them burst into laughter as taylor splutters around a mouthful of snow. even her dad, though at least he’s covering his mouth to seem polite.

“meredith,” taylor says sourly, and essie takes a look at him. wow, he’s actually wearing a stocking cap to bed. essie didn’t know people did that outside of, like, old novels and cartoons. “is there a particular reason that you’re causing this ruckus at midnight, right before a holiday?”

“oh, shove it, taylor,” meredith says heartily, hands on her hips. “open the store.”

his brow furrows deep enough that it’s visible on the street. “and just why should i do that?”

“good will toward your fellow woman?” freddie tries.

taylor scoffs, and moves to pull the window shut again.

“open the store!” meredith calls, and then, essie isn’t sure who starts it—freddie, probably, or maybe even annabelle—but soon all eight of them are chanting “OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT,” even as taylor bellows, “i could file a noise complaint!”

“or you could just open the damn store, taylor!” meredith hollers back. “it’s eight paying customers or eight people with throwing arms and capable lungs!”

taylor draws himself up, clearly warring with himself, before he deflates and sighs, to a chorus of danes (and annabelle’s) cheers.

“fine!” he shouts. “but if you stay in that store for longer than it is absolutely necessary , you will be hearing from the sideshire business association, the sideshire tourist board, the sideshire neighborhood watch organization—”

“those are all just you!” silas yells. “the sooner we get done, the sooner you don’t have to see any of us for another year! other than virgil.”

“yeah, thanks, silas,” virgil says, with an eyeroll.

taylor scowls, but slams his window shut and, presumably, with a huff. usually, whenever taylor did anything that didn’t comply with his exact agenda, it was with a huff.

“all right, lists!” the mother announces. “i have lists, come and get a list—silas, here you are—”

“lists?” annabelle mumbles quizzically into essie’s ear, and she shrugs, just as lost as annabelle is, but she accepts the hastily-scrawled list that’s on one of the diner’s notepads—essie knows, she’d worked in that diner for the vast majority of her life—and squints at their options.

“i’ve got a ton of food,” silas says. “what about you?”

“um,” essie says, and scans it. “same here, ‘cept it’s nonperishable stuff. donations, maybe?”

“i guess,” silas says, and essie bumps shoulders with him.

“you good?” she checks.

silas clears his throat, and scuffs his boot through the snow. “yeah, m’fine.”

“okay,” essie says, and silas scowls, as if he detects the underlying it’s just that i was hugging you on the balcony a few hours ago while you spilled your guts on everything going wrong in your life, so forgive me if i don’t think you’re exactly telling the truth that she isn’t saying. he probably can.

that’s the way with the two of them: if one ever couldn’t do something, the other one probably could. essie couldn’t confront people for anything, so silas was the one who’d shoved bullies to the ground and yelled at them. but silas wasn’t very good at being gentle, so essie was the one who put band-aids on their friends’ knees and tried her best to kiss them better.

if one of them was having trouble, the other one could usually try and pull them out of it. essie was usually the puller, back in school—silas was a brawler, and a sasser, and didn’t have much patience for things he thought he wouldn’t use in real life.

she wishes helping him now was as easy as telling mrs. replegol that she’d accidentally put his math homework in her backpack, and handing over a paper that she’d hastily filled out during lunch, trying her very best to disguise her neat writing into silas’ untidy scrawl.

“you can always come stay with me, if you want,” she tries, and silas scoffs.

“i’ve seen your apartment,” he mutters.

“it’s not that bad,” she says.

“it’s tiny,” silas says. “where’d i stay? your couch?”

“yes,” she says, and, when silas sighs, “we could make a fort, like when we were kids. or we’d figure it out. you know you can come over anytime.”

“does annabelle—”

“annabelle can hear you, and annabelle says go for it,” annabelle says, not looking up from where she’s re-tying her boot. “annabelle also doesn’t appreciate being talked about in third person when she can hear you.”

silas grimaces in apology, and when annabelle gets to her feet again, taylor’s opening the front door of the store, effectively ending their conversation there. but essie loops an arm through annabelle’s, and her other arm through silas’, and tugs them both along into doose’s grocery.

she can practically feel that silas and annabelle are exchanging a look behind her back, but she doesn’t really care.

unsurprisingly, doose’s market hasn’t changed much at all, either; everything’s where it was when essie was a teenager, and it doesn’t take her very long to gather up the cans of food and baby food that her mother had hastily scrawled down.

the other four siblings are split amongst the store, gathering things up—wyatt’s got things like paper towels and diapers, whereas freddie has, like, yarn or something?—so really, it’s probably good that they’ve all got separate lists. even if essie has zero idea what’s happening.

she sidles up to virgil’s side, and says, “ you wouldn’t happen to know what spurred on this massive shopping spree, would you?”

virgil pauses, glancing around, and says, “you know how mom and dad kept dragging in all those stray cats and dogs when we were kids?”

the puzzle pieces assemble in her head almost immediately.

“so, welcome to the family, patton, here’s everything you could possibly need, merry christmas?” she guesses, and virgil nods.

“something happened to him after we left,” she guesses, quieter. and virgil, stony-faced, nods.

“poor guy,” essie murmurs. “is he… i mean. is he okay?”

“how would you rate first christmas without his family, ess?” virgil says, and essie winces.

“right. sorry. stupid question.”

virgil winces, too, and says, “sorry. sorry, i shouldn’t snap at you.”

“no, i get it,” essie says. “long day.”

“still,” virgil says, mouth set and stubborn, and essie smiles at her baby brother, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

“you’re sweet,” she says and means it. he is sweet. for all his bluster and gruff, sometimes, and yes, even as a rebellious teenager, virgil had never not been sweet, no matter how he tried to hide it. he’s thoughtful, and kind, and essie’s glad that he’s helping out patton and the baby. she really is.

virgil, however, flushes and ducks his head, mumbling a denial, before he escapes to finish up his shopping, and essie grins after him before she goes to do the same.

gosh, she knows neither of them like to hear it, but virgil and silas really do have a lot in common.

taylor scowls at them all, muttering under his breath about danes’ even as he scans them all out, and bellows “good riddance!” as soon as they all leave the store.

“merry christmas, taylor!” their mother yells back, and taylor grimaces even as he pointedly closes the blinds.

“where should we go with these?” wyatt asks, laden with shopping bags. they all are, really.

“fresh food at the diner, the rest of it’ll come back to the inn,” meredith says decisively.

“here, i’ll trade,” virgil says. “i can meet you back there.”

so virgil and silas swap shopping bags, and their dad suddenly says, “i’ll help too, bunny,” and essie moves forward to take his bags too, and as soon as they’re all sorted out all of them tramp back to the inn.

on the way, essie sees cara directing a couple people that essie doesn’t know, the pair of them carting the mattress their mother ruined down to the inn’s poolhouse. essie’s about to ask, but decides that her mom will probably know, and instead moves to catch up with annabelle.

“what’s up with that?” annabelle says, jerking her chin toward them.

“oh, i have no idea,” essie says. “storage, maybe?”

“yeah, i guess,” annabelle says, and shakes her head after it; she’s always been a little confused by the more unique aspects of sideshire, which makes sense, really. if essie hadn’t been born into it, she’d be plenty confused too.

“that was fun,” annabelle continues. “the—snowball thing.”

essie laughs. “yeah, it is,” she says, and looks over at annabelle. “what?”

annabelle shakes her head, smiling. “nothing. it’s just—you’re so cute when you laugh.”

essie blushes; silas boos.

“gross,” he says.

“shut up, silas,” essie grumbles.

“yeah,” annabelle says, grinning, “shut up, silas.”

“nope, i’m with silas on this one,” freddie says, catching up with them. “couples are gross, especially when half of that couple is my sister.”

“kids, stop picking on your sister,” their mother calls, and gestures for them to get inside, and into the room.

and so begins the process.

their dad and virgil come in not too long after, with even more shopping bags, and join the sorting process: last-minute presents there, food there, baby supplies there. essie and annabelle take the sky-blue wrapping paper that their mom had bought at taylor doose’s, one of the last ones left, and wrap up the yarn and sweaters and books and baby toys.

it’s blatantly a last-minute gift haul, but essie doesn’t think they did too bad. admittedly, she doesn’t really know patton that well, but he’d seemed nice when they all had dinner together, both tonight and when essie and silas first came to town, and she’d thought he looked cute with his baby all day today, and felt a bit bad for him when he’d dozed off so readily and virgil had muttered something about overworking himself. she has the feeling patton’s probably the kind of person who’d appreciate any gift someone got him, anyway.

it doesn’t stop virgil and their dad from clucking, though. will he like this and oh, we should get and are you sure he stays warm enough where but that’s where they cut off, looking at the rest of them, busy as they are at wrapping last-minute presents or just chatting amongst themselves.

essie stifles her grin as she watches virgil closely examine a toy, as if a teddy bear was an inherent threat, their father making a near-identical face as he makes sure that he’s wrapped a present properly.

mother hens, the pair of them. 

of course, essie thought, as she caught her gaze moving to annabelle for the ten dozenth time that night, to make sure that she’s there, and satisfied, and happy, it’s not like they’re the only ones in the family.

⁂

patton’s stopped jolting in surprise whenever he gets woken up by an unexpected sound, because lately, the unexpected sound’s a baby.

his baby, to be very specific. but just because he doesn’t jolt anymore doesn’t mean he’s really stoped feeling sleep-slow and stupid whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night.

well. it’s not like he ever really stops being stupid, but.

he shakes himself—he has a crying baby to tend to, so he stumbles over to the corner and lifts logan out of the carrier, trying futilely to hush him, conscious of virgil just beyond the door, conscious of logan’s colic. conscious, generally.

“hey, fella,” patton mumbles to logan, and bounces him, just a little, and starts walking, because moving around usually calms him down. “hey, hey, what’s wrong, hon?”

it turns out it’s a diaper change, and really thank goodness patton always packs extra, because he doesn’t know what he’d do, otherwise. he’s pretty sure that virgil doesn’t also have diapers stashed away with this baby carrier that logan’s sleeping in. 

but logan doesn’t want to seem to go back to sleep after patton’s changed him, and so patton acquiesces, pacing circles around virgil’s darkened bedroom and noticing all kinds of little things he’d missed when he was fresh out of a sobbing session, and embarrassed, and upset.

he’s still a little bit of all those things, of course, especially the upset and embarrassed parts, but that had been kind of near-constant ever since he ran away.

he had noticed the framed photos on top virgil’s dresser, but not of what they pictured: a family shot of all of them flanking virgil in sideshire high’s red-and-gold, virgil with a cap and gown on, grinning sheepishly at the camera; freddie, in the midst of a dance performance, looking very refined and graceful, arms stretched and leg extended in a way that would make patton’s legs ache, if he could even half-manage it; wyatt, as a kid, with who must be a toddler virgil staring wide-eyed as wyatt patches up a stuffed raccoon; essie with her ringed hand thrust toward the camera, in the midst of a kiss with annabelle, an engagement photo if he’s ever seen one; silas and virgil’s parents, sitting at one of the tables in the center of a desolate diner, deep in conversation and completely unaware of the camera; virgil, at the age patton is now, wearing a spiky leather jacket and a torn-up t-shirt, scowling, as the mustached man’s arms are thrown around his neck in a near choke-hold, pressed up against his back, baring his teeth at the camera— remus, patton remembers, the man’s name is remus. 

it is, patton thinks as he bounces logan, a handy little collection of all the people virgil loves, sitting upon this dresser. 

patton wonders if he’ll warrant a spot one day.

immediately, he feels his face heat and turns away; this isn’t your room, he scolds himself. stop snooping.

a voice that sounds remarkably like his mother seems to murmur in his ear, it would hardly be considered snooping if he invited you in and left you alone. there’s something you can use here.

patton shakes his head, like he’s trying to get water out of his ears. but it’s a bit too late; here are all the people virgil loves, sitting on his dresser, all of whom he’s at least seen relatively recently. and of all the people patton loves—other than logan—he doesn’t have much else beyond bittersweet memories, and voices in his ear, and basically nothing else.

the rush of homesickness hits him so hard it feels like he can’t breathe for a few seconds.

god, he misses christopher.

it’s been a week or so since he’s seen him last, which feels a bit ridiculous to be sad over that, but the thing was they used to see each other basically every day— they’d always gone to the same school, so they’d see each other at recess, when they were little, or at each other’s lockers, as they got older. 

patton chews at his lip and fixes his eyes on the ceiling. darn it. he can’t cry again. he cannot cry again. he needs to redirect his brain.

but it’s too late. 

christopher’s whiskey-brown eyes, all warm when the sun hits them just right. eating biscuits with butter and honey. giggling to each other before making their daring getaways to the balcony. sitting side-by-side, pressed up against each other. when they were little, searching the skies for ufos. when they were older, spying on the neighbors. scotch-flavored kisses and pilfered alcohol. when patton would get giggly, and tipsy, and they’d be handsy, and patton had felt a glimmer of happiness when it felt like everything in the whole world was pressing him down and trying to bury him.

christopher’s easy smile, his warm hands, his tousled hair—

patton swallows his tears the best he can, closing his eyes tightly. no christopher. no christopher on christmas, no christopher on new year’s. no christopher in school, or in summer. no christopher and him, side-by-side, every day. no more of that. that was over now.

because patton had chosen to go off into the unknown. when he left his life, trying to look for something better, he left the best parts of his life, too.

christopher was that best part.

logan fusses, and patton sniffles, turning his attention back to logan. he’s still babyish enough that he can’t really see any resemblances to christopher, or to himself. he isn’t sure if that hurts or helps—logan’s his own person, after all. but he’d really like to hear christopher make some kind of lame joke right now.

“sorry, kiddo,” he says, voice wobbly. “sorry. i know. i’ve gotcha.”

he resumes walking loops around the room. he’d barely even realized he’d stopped. he takes deep breaths, and keeps bouncing logan, which serves to quiet him.

he’s about to lie logan back down in the carrier, maybe curl up in virgil’s bed and try not to cry a little longer, when he hears the creak-and-click of a door opening and closing.

patton freezes, before he timidly opens up the bedroom door to take a peek, and—

virgil’s unwinding the scarf patton made him from around his neck, at the same time attempting to toe off his boots. he pauses and turns, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“sorry,” virgil manages to say, barely above a whisper. “did i wake you?”

“no,” patton says, and clears his throat when it comes out watery. “no, no, logan was, um. logan was fussing.”

“he okay?”

“yeah, just needed to walk around a bit. he’s good now,” and tilts logan a little closer to the light, so virgil could see that he’s holding him.

virgil surveys him, and then he squints at patton. “ you okay?”

patton tries for a smile, a little startled that virgil’s bothered to ask at all. “oh, me? yep! fit as a fiddle!”

except virgil frowns, staring at him a little closer, and says, almost a little hurt, “you could just say that you don’t wanna talk about it and i’d respect it, you know? you don’t have to lie to me.”

patton swallows. his voice comes out timid and quiet. “sorry.”

“oh, hey, it—” virgil hesitates, before he says, “well, it’s not, like, great, but, y’know. it’s okay.”

there’s a long, awkward pause.

“do you?”

“what?” patton asks, adjusting his grip on logan.

“do you want to,” virgil elaborates. “talk about it, i mean. or not.”

“oh,” patton says. “um. i mean, it just—i dunno.”

virgil dips his head in a nod, and resumes taking off his winter gear.

“were you outside?” patton asks, and he winces. of course he was outside, why else would he be wearing his cold-weather clothes? stupid question.

“oh, yeah,” virgil says. “mom wanted help with something, so.”

“oh,” patton says. “okay.”

virgil looks at him, that same surveying look that makes patton feel a little shy, like virgil’s trying to look at him hard enough to read his mind. but instead of saying anything earth-shattering, he just says, “you want some more hot cocoa or something?”

“uh,” patton says. “okay, sure. that sounds nice. i’m gonna lay down logan.”

“all right, cool,” virgil says, and shuffles off toward his kitchen. patton scoots back into virgil’s room, and moves to lay logan down, holding his breath.

no crying.

nice.

so then he wraps himself up in one of virgil’s blankets, and creeps quietly back out of the room, sitting down on the couch. he listens to virgil clank and rattle around in the kitchen, the rush of milk hitting a metal pot, some shuffling of supplies, the clanking of a spoon stirring, the click of a stove turning on. 

it seems like it doesn’t take that long, but it’s long enough that patton feels like he’s pulled himself together, a little, despite the ache in his chest. 

virgil comes out of the kitchen and hands patton a navy blue mug, before he settles on the opposite side of the couch, wrapping his hands around his own black mug.

“has logan been up much?” virgil says. “because you can bring him out here if you, y’know. if you need more sleep. i could—”

“no, no,” patton says. “no, it—i mean, the nap earlier’s really helped, but i’ve been, um. i’ve been sleeping.”

“okay,” virgil says. “good. it kind of just occurred to me that i might be keeping you up, and—”

“no,” patton says. “i’m good. my sleep schedule’s ruined anyway.”

virgil’s eyes narrow, and he says, “well. still.”

“it’s nice of you to offer, but it’s okay, really,” patton says, and blows a breath across the top of the cocoa, before he inhales the scent—rich, chocolatey—and adjusts his grip on the still-too-warm mug. 

virgil clears his throat, and says, awkwardly, “is it… um. the same stuff you were upset about before?”

“oh,” patton says. “um.”

“‘cause again, if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s okay, but—”

“it,” patton says. “it’s okay. um. kind of.”

he fiddles with the mug, looking down at the cocoa. it’s easier to look at it and not directly into virgil’s eyes.

“is it stupid to be homesick?” he asks in a tiny voice.

“no,” virgil says immediately. 

“okay,” patton says, and there must be a note of skepticism in his voice, because virgil says, “it’s not. okay? it’s not stupid. it’s how you feel. that’s real, and not stupid. you aren’t stupid.”

patton runs a thumb over the rim of his mug and, instead of saying anything in response to that, he admits, voice clogging right back up again, “i miss christopher.”

“oh,” virgil says, then, “patton, that—that isn’t stupid at all. he’s your—” virgil hesitates, just awkward enough that it’s clear doesn’t really know what relationship to categorize him and christopher as, before he plows on, “he’s important to you.”

patton sniffles, and runs a hand under his eyes, mostly out of caution to not cry again, virgil has seen him cry enough, and says, “yeah, he is. he’s my—”

patton clears his throat, before he continues, “he’s my best friend. he was almost—” and he clams up.

“almost?” virgil prompts gently, and patton lets out a laugh that’s closer to a sob.

“i mean, it—it wasn’t a secret that it was mostly because our parents wanted him to, but he—he tried to propose to me. ‘cause of logan.”

“oh,” virgil says, clearly a little surprised. 

“i said no,” patton says quietly. “i… i mean, he was my—i love him. y’know? if it was any other reason, any other way, i think… i think i would have said yes. but.”

“but,” virgil prompts, and patton takes a gulp of hot cocoa to give himself a moment’s pause. it nearly scalds his mouth. he’s almost a little happy about it—it gives him a physical ache for him to focus on, instead of an emotional one.

“it just… it was so clearly because he thought we had to,” patton says. “i mean. we were in the hospital, and he was meeting logan for the first time—”

“while you were in labor?” virgil says, a little appalled. which, fair. patton was focused on a lot when he was in labor, he’d have been pretty peeved if christopher had come knocking asking about marriage during all that.

“oh,” patton says. “um, no. christopher couldn’t make it, when i was in labor. he came by the next afternoon.”

virgil frowns, but nods a little, like he’s signaling that he’s still listening.

“it was the… the little window room? where you can see all the babies in those little plastic cribs,” patton says. “and we were looking in, staring at logan, and he said, he’s a cute baby, and i said, he’s perfect, and he just said, i guess we should get married. just like that. i guess we should get married,” he mimicks christopher’s uncertain tone.

virgil frowns harder, but this time, patton nods.

“ right,” patton says. “and, i mean, i just—i mean, i love him. i really do. but proposals… that’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing, right? proposals are supposed to be more than a desperate end to our parents’ bickering and all their expectations. it should be planned. it should be magical.”

virgil nods.

“it should be—it should be more,” patton says. “there should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the questions. there should be a—a thousand yellow daisies, and candles, and—and more than just an oh, i guess. ”

“yeah,” virgil says. 

“but i,” patton says, and sighs, taking another gulp of cocoa. “i mean, i know that if i’d said yes, i’d still be stuck there, and unhappy, and worried about all the same things that i was worried about that led to me running away, but—”

“but you still miss him.”

“yeah,” patton says, and sighs. “ yeah.”

“for the record,” virgil says. “i think you’re—i think you’re right.”

patton blinks at him.

“like,” virgil says, “you shouldn’t marry someone just ‘cause your parents want you to. if you really love him—”

“i do.”

“—yeah,” virgil says. “so. if you really love him. if he’s really right for you. it’ll make sense eventually. and you guys’ll get married for you. not for anyone else. not for your parents, or because the world thinks you have to, or because people think that you have to be married to have a kid. you guys’ll come back together for you guys. that’s the way it should be. okay?”

“okay.”

“plus, like, you’re sixteen,” virgil says. “you’re literally, like, a child groom. child spouse? whatever. the point is, you’re a kid. you have a lot of time to figure out if you wanna be with christopher or not, or if you wanna get married to him or not, or if you want to be with anyone at all. you have time.”

“i guess,” patton says.

“i know,” virgil says. “like, i’m twenty-three. i’ve got six more years of life experience than you, roughly. the things i thought i’d do at sixteen are way different. you’re going to look back on yourself in those six years and be like i’m glad i waited, okay? your brain’s still growing and all that.”

“isn’t yours, too?”

“yeah, exactly,” virgil says. “my point. both still growing up. you’ve got way more than enough on your plate right now. you’ve got a baby, and a job, you shouldn’t have to worry about a—a wedding, or whatever.”

“that is very true,” patton says wearily, and so they both sit and sip their cocoa for a while.

“virge?”

“yeah?” he says.

“thanks for all this,” patton says. “i mean—really.”

“anytime,” virgil says. “you done?”

patton hands over the mug, and virgil takes it, standing. patton, belatedly, stands too.

“you should get some more sleep,” he says. “but if you can’t, you can, y’know. we can hang out and do whatever you want, yeah?”

“okay,” patton says.

he shuffles into virgil’s bedroom. 

“pat?”

“yeah?” patton says, turning back to face him.

virgil smiles at him uncertainly, and makes a gesture with the mugs he’s holding.

“seriously,” virgil says. “if it’s, y’know. true love or whatever. it’ll happen eventually. you’ll get your thousand yellow daisies. yeah?”

the corner of patton’s mouth quirks up.

“thanks, v.”

“yeah, well,” virgil says. “get some sleep, okay?”

patton gets into virgil’s room. he closes the door behind him, he falls into a bed that smells like unfamiliar laundry detergent, and falls into the deepest sleep he’s had in a long time.

⁂

her children are safely asleep and, for the twenty-ninth year running, it leaves her and her husband awake last.

“we don’t have any major christmas surprises to lay out this year, do we?” mark murmurs.

they’re sitting on the bed, the pair of them holding styrofoam cups in their hands, having one last cup of tea before they turn in for the night. meredith’s tucked her legs up underneath her; mark has his legs crossed, already dressed in his pajamas. they’re particularly paying attention to their volume, though freddie’s the heaviest sleeper of their children; meredith could probably start hollering and freddie would only barely stir. but there she is, still sleeping, and so their voices are quiet.

“no,” meredith murmurs. “no surprises. well, no surprises beyond what we’ve already done.”

mark acknowledges this with a quiet chuckle, and finishes up the last of his tea. meredith pats him on the knee.

“i might run down to the pool house to pick up patton’s clothes,” meredith says. “knowing us, we’ll probably be running late in the morning.”

“all right,” mark says, and leans to give her a peck. “would you like company?”

“you’re already in your flannel, you’d freeze,” she teases. “i’ll be alright. get some sleep.”

mark nods, collects their trash, and moves to throw it away and brush his teeth as meredith shrugs on her coat, pushes her feet into her boots, and leaves their room, leaves the inn.

the inn’s grounds are beautiful, even in the dead of night, even in the dead of winter. the near-dead grass crunched under her feet and she examined the bushes, devoid of any blooms, the trees, stripped bare, the artful landscaping. all of it tinged silver in the moonlight.

beautiful, even in its quiet. like the rest of sideshire.

she’s missed it terribly.

she descends to the poolhouse, attempting to shake off her malaise. it’s small and unassuming—barely more than a shed, meant mostly to store things, to double as a potting shed. it’s meant to be overlooked, but now that she’s staring at it, it seems a rather sorry little room, not even qualified to be called a house . she opens the door.

it’s just as pitiable on the inside as it is on the outside.

the couch that must have been patton’s bed has been pushed aside, to make room for the mattress that meredith had damaged; there are laundry baskets piled full of clothes, boxes of baby toys and books and blankets, a storage cart repurposed to be a changing station, a crib moved close to the bed.

the whole room is dark and dingy—there are still abandoned potting sheds scattered about the room, pool supplies shoved into corners. it looks like patton’s carried everything he owned into the room only to drop it, and he’d been so exhausted that he hadn’t been able to tidy it up.

she doesn’t blame the poor boy at all. she feels the sympathy rise in her heart, and is abundantly grateful that she and mark had decided to get as many gifts for patton as they could think of, plus a few more. 

maybe, she thinks, there could be some anonymous deliveries of gift cards to get some supplies. make this place a bit homier.

but she spies the box with a woolly sleeve peeking out of it, and so she crosses the room to open up the box. 

which one would he like? she wonders. gray, yellow, blue, green, white, black?

she hesitates, before she reaches for the blue one. may as well go all-in on the color-matching scheme, here.

she’s folding up the sweaters she’d examined when the door swings open, and meredith freezes where she is, staring at the person in the doorway, who’s frozen up, too.

meredith clears her throat, and lifts the blue sweater. “he asked me to bring a change of clothes tomorrow.”

raf nods, and then meredith sees the wagon he’s toting, piled high with wrapped boxes and gift bags. “gifts from everyone.”

she smiles. “good. we won’t be the only ones spoiling him.”

raf smiles wider, and she rises to her feet, gesturing. “can i help—?”

“ah, i’ve got help on the way,” raf says, and meredith’s about to ask who until in comes another person, toting another wagon.

“hi, cara,” meredith says, amused.

“oh!” cara says. “hi, mrs. danes. um—”

“gifts for patton?”

“this load is for the baby, actually,” cara says sheepishly, and meredith laughs.

“well, far be it from me to stop you,” meredith says, folding the sweater over her arm. “you’re sure the both of you don’t need a hand?”

“well,” cara says, and glances over at raf.

“we’ve all got a load of furniture that people aren’t using or just needed to donate,” raf says. “because. well. look at this place.”

it is pretty pitiful. the only furniture that seems like it could really be used for people is a broken rocking chair, the bed, the crib, and a potting bench that looks like it’s been repurposed into a changing table. no dresser, no table, no… anything, really.

“and some paint,” cara adds, “but we figured we could leave some paint chips and the note from hector saying that he’ll be out to paint it whatever color he wants, not just choose it for him.”

“how about i help organize the presents, then?” meredith suggests.

“oh, you don’t have to—”

“i insist,” meredith says firmly. “we’re all trying to make sure they have a good christmas.”

“well,” raf says. “if you insist.”

and so it begins, a crew of the three of them; cara’s taping paint chips to the walls, along with hector’s note; raf totes in a dresser, a nightstand, a few baskets that are filled up with yarn; meredith arranges the presents, and notices that none of them have notes.

when she asks, cara and raf exchange a glance.

“he’s a bit… stubborn, when it comes to presents and gifts and that kind of thing,” cara says.

“pauline slipped him some extra money and he spent a week trying to get her to take it back,” raf says.

“ah,” meredith says.

“ but,” cara says, “if you convince him it’s for logan, or it would really be more of a convenience for him to take whatever you’ve got—”

“then he’ll take it,” meredith surmises, starting to understand. “so, if we act apologetic in the morning and keep saying that we would have felt terrible not getting anything, and all of this is so last minute—”

“he’ll probably take it,” raf says. “it’s a manners thing, i think.”

“he is very polite,” meredith murmurs.

“that he is,” cara says.

they continue to work in companionable silence, meredith stacking patton and logan’s presents in a circle, like patton had done with the presents in the diner.

she hopes that he’ll take them. she hopes that he’ll love them.

he really does deserve to be spoiled at christmas after the week/month/year he’s had.

[aion-rsa]

Metal Gear Solid Remake Rumors Breathe Life into Konami, Even as eFootball Dies

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

In the last decade, Japanese publisher Konami has largely moved away from AAA video game publishing in order to focus its development arm on its much more profitable pachinko machines. It’s been an unfortunate pivot for fans of Konami’s games, to say the least, since the publisher happens to be sitting on some of the most highly-regarded gaming franchises of all-time. Among Konami’s biggest properties are Metal Gear Solid, Silent Hill, and Castlevania, most of which have spent years collecting dust in the publisher’s vaults except for the odd remastered collection or…themed pachinko machine. 2018’s Metal Gear Survive, a massive failure of a cash grab both critically and financially, was the last major AAA game released by Konami not titled Pro Evolution Soccer, which has also been phased out in 2021.

But all that may be about to change according to new reports from Video Game Chronicle and Eurogamer, which claim that Konami is now full steam ahead on “bringing back its biggest brands to the premium games space,” according to VGC. Chief among these new AAA projects is a remake of Metal Gear Solid 3, which is reportedly being handled by Virtuos, the studio largely known for Switch ports of titles like Dark Souls Remastered, The Outer Worlds, and The BioShock Collection, as well as for its support work on Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Uncharted 4. VGC says that Konami is also planning to remaster the original MGS games for modern consoles ahead of the remake, which is reportedly in early development.

Meanwhile, a new Castlevania title described as a “reimagining” of the series is “currently in development internally at Konami in Japan, with support from local external studios,” according to VGC. It would be the first major installment in the 35-year-old series since 2014’s Lords of Shadow 2.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Then there’s Silent Hill, which has been the subject of much speculation and reporting over the past few months. At least two games in the horror series are said to be in development, including one from Bloober Team, makers of the excellent Layers of Fear titles. The other game is reportedly being outsourced to a Japanese studio, per VGC. It’s long been rumored that Kojima Productions is working on a Silent Hill — rumors that have devolved into conspiracy theories involving “hidden messages” and another mystery horror project called Abandoned that you can read more about here. But the hearsay hasn’t uncovered much truth. (And Hideo Kojima infamously exited Konami on bad terms in 2015, so a renewed partnership seems very unlikely.)

All of this is very good news for long-suffering Konami fans, who’ve had to subsist on smaller offerings like Super Bomberman R, a game that launched with the Nintendo Switch in 2017, and 2019’s Contra: Rogue Corps. But the less said about the latter, the better.

In truth, the only fans who could at the very least feign happiness with Konami were those playing yearly installments of Pro Evolution Soccer, which had been the publisher’s most reliable video game franchise for the past few years. In fact, it’d risen the ranks to become a worthy competitor to the FIFA series, Electronic Arts’ international sales behemoth which largely controls the digital pitch. Those days seem to be over for Konami, though.

This year, the publisher has rebranded Pro Evolution Soccer as eFootball, a free-to-play online title that ditches the premium price tag for more microtransactions. It also does away with the series’ old Fox engine in the hopes of bringing a fresh, next-gen experience to diehard fans. The results have been disastrous.

Just a day after eFootbal 2022′s release, the title has become the most poorly reviewed game on Steam, according to Kotaku. As of this writing, only 9% of the title’s over 12,000 reviews are positive. Major complaints cover everything from the game’s questionable graphics, to incredibly buggy gameplay, to a serious lack of content. Of course, Konami was transparent about the latter when it announced the game’s roadmap earlier this year, describing the launch version of eFootball 2022 as more of a “demo” that would receive additional content in the coming weeks and months.

At the moment, players can only choose from eight soccer clubs for online and local matches. While the choices are slim, this should have been the ideal content with which to showcase the new engine, but uh…

Thanks for kill my fav game @play_eFootball #efootball2022 here is a Video with Ansu Fati running like naruto pic.twitter.com/JQ2KRr2RwC

— Ricardo Bassricky (@BassRicky_) September 30, 2021

Konami you really shouldn't have released this in this state. This is bad… I mean really bad.. Like bad bad bad #eFootball2022 pic.twitter.com/6YYDR8XnmT

— TheTrueBrits🎙️⚽️ (@_TheTrueBrits) September 30, 2021

The player is happy because the referee is dead #eFootball2022 pic.twitter.com/ijtxkhrJ9k

— Walidben (@Walidbe77643234) September 30, 2021

To be fair, FIFA ships with hilarious bugs every single year, but eFootball’s drastic drop in quality from Pro Evolution Soccer is a sight to behold. Perhaps its biggest crime is its rendering of soccer superstar Lionel Messi (bottom left in the tweet below) who also happens to be on the game’s cover. Konami has the exclusive rights to Messi’s likeness, and even 3D scanned his face for eFootball 2022, something EA couldn’t do for FIFA, and yet he doesn’t fare much better than Cristiano Ronaldo’s truly terrifying visage. Is this supposed to be the other Silent Hill game?

This really makes it hard not to love #FIFA22 😔..#eFootball2022 #efootball #pes2022 I love you FIFA22 . pic.twitter.com/I7lEIlC84T

— Epic Player (@EpicPlyer) September 30, 2021

Konami wasted no time trying to get the Steam fire under control, putting out a statement on Twitter, promising updates in the coming weeks to fix the game’s most glaring issues as well as add more content.

“After the release of eFootball 2022, we have received lots of feedback and requests regarding game balance that includes pass speed and defense operation. We would also like to acknowledge that there have been reports of problems users have experienced with cutscenes, facial expressions, movements of players, and the behavior of the ball,” reads the statement. “This work will be continuously updated, quality will be improved, and content will be added consistently. From next week onward, we will prepare for an update in October, while receiving further opinions through questionnaires to our users.”

Important info for #eFootball fans pic.twitter.com/Tp9RFhmXp9

— eFootball (@play_eFootball) October 1, 2021

Of course, issues are par for the course during the launch of a new live service game. Just look Amazon’s new MMO, New World, which is facing many of the same complaints as eFootball, including countless bugs, on top of its own server issues. Like many live service games that have come before — with the exception of massive disasters like BioWare’s Anthem — eFootball will continue to evolve over time. And at least it’s free. The question is whether longtime PES fans will stick around long enough to give this new brand a second chance.

At least Konami may have other projects on the horizon…

The post Metal Gear Solid Remake Rumors Breathe Life into Konami, Even as eFootball Dies appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3A02Iun

[numbersbythebook]

Genesis 26 split, 12 Tribes Split, Church Split

written by Will Schumaker

God has told the end from the beginning.

Isaiah 46:10 Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:

God prophesied that Ephraim would become the “fullness of the gentiles.”

Genesis 48:19 And his father refused, and said, I know it, my son, I know it: he also shall become a people, and he also shall be great: but truly his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his seed shall become a multitude of nations.

This is Bible verse 1471.  Strong;s H1471 = gentiles or nations

Ephraim, the head of the northern kingdom, rebelled and Assyria took them over and they have become known as the 10 lost tribes.

Somehow God sees the Gentiles as Ephraim.  I wrote a post on this a while back called “I am Ephraim”.  It would be very helpful to read to understand what I believe the Bible says on this.

About 10 years ago I started studying the Bible through Jewish eyes.  I was struck by the fact that the early church was all Jewish.  Then the Gentiles or “Ephraim” was brought in. Both Gentiles and Jews were meant to be one and worship together; James indicates this in Acts 15.

Acts 15:19 Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God:

Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.        

Acts 15:21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.

My understanding is that there was a split in the early church that began with the destruction of Jerusalem and was pretty much finalized with the Bar Kokhba revolt.

Over time the Sabbath was changed to Sunday, there is no observance of God’s feast days, and the Torah is looked upon as a burden.

Many messianic Jewish rabbis that I listen to still keep the Saturday Sabbath, still observe God’s feast days and although they see the Torah as not able to save them, only Jesus can, they see the Torah as a protective fence sent by a loving and merciful God to guide them.

Since God has already told the end from the beginning, I looked at one story in the Old Testament that seems to be a type of what has happened to the Church.

Solomon, the son of David, and builder of the Temple is a type of Christ. There is a glorious reign under Solomon which reminds me of the Acts 2 Church where everyone is acting like one body through the Spirit.

But then there is a split.

Jeroboam and the northern kingdom which is Ephraim (who becomes the fullness of gentiles) splits from the southern kingdom and King Rehoboam.

The first thing Jeroboam does is change God’s feast days (what the gentile church did) and where they worship.

1 Kings 12:27 If this people go up to do sacrifice in the house of the LORD at Jerusalem, then shall the heart of this people turn again unto their lord, even unto Rehoboam king of Judah, and they shall kill me, and go again to Rehoboam king of Judah

1 Kings 12:32 And Jeroboam ordained a feast in the eighth month, on the fifteenth day of the month, like unto the feast that is in Judah.

When you read why this happened it was because Rehoboam, King of Judah wanted to lay a heavier yoke upon Israel and Ephraim didn’t want this heavy yoke.

1 Kings 12:14 And spake to them after the counsel of the young men, saying, My father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke: my father also chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.

Recall Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  In Jewish writing the Torah was likened to a yoke.  So Jesus is saying take my Torah upon you and learn it.

Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light

Now I understand that Rehoboam wasn’t talking about the Torah when he said he would add to his father’s yoke.  I believe this is a prophetic type though.

The other interesting thing Rehoboam said is that he would chastise Israel with scorpions.

Recall God called the “false prophet” leaders of Israel “scorpions”.

Ezekiel 2:6  And thou, son of man, be not afraid of them, neither be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns be with thee, and thou dost dwell among scorpions: be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they be a rebellious house.

Jesus called the enemy “scorpions and serpents”.

Luke 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

So scorpions or serpents are a visual picture of people against God.

In the New Testament, the false prophet of Jesus’ time was the religious leaders of Israel.  He called them serpents or vipers.

Matthew 23:29 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,

Matthew 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?

The false prophet Scribes and Pharisees of Jesus’ time had made a mockery of God’s Torah. They had taken each command and made a set of strict rules to follow for each.  It became a huge burden.  It is called the “oral Torah”.  It is a man-made law,  not of God.  Jesus was regularly against it.

Peter spoke of this in Acts 15. The Torah through the scribes and Pharisees had become too much of a yoke to bear.

Acts 15:10 Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?

Peter then gave minimal expectations of the Gentiles to worship with the Jewish people because they will be listening to Moses (God’s Torah) every Sabbath, and thus learning how to live obediently.

Acs 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.        

Acts 15:21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.

SO, I hope you see the prophetic type. The "scorpion" religious leaders of Judah tried to impose their definition of God’s law on the people just as Rehoboam made the burden too heavy and chastised with scorpions.

The gentiles, not used to God’s law, said the burden is too much and separated from the Jewish church. They made up their own feasts on their own schedule on their own days just as Jeroboam and the 10 tribes did.

There is an example of the rift between the Gentile and Jewish part of the Church in 3 John.

3 John 1:9 I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.

3 John 1:10 Wherefore if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church.

Diotrephes loved preeminence.  Strong’s G1361 = Diotrephes. Strong’s H1361 =  haughty or lift up.

Strong H1361 seems to be a definition of Strong’s G1361.

There seems to be another story in the Bible related to Jeroboam and Rehoboam as a type of the church split.

Jeroboam is Strong’s H3379 and means “the people will contend”  It is formed from Strong’s H5971 and H7378.

Rehoboam is H7346 and means “a people has enlarged”  It is from H5971 and H7337.

So Strong’s H5971 = ”people” and they both have that root.  So the difference in their names comes from H7378 meaning “strive or contend” and H7337 meaning “to enlarge or make room”

Both of these roots are used for the first time in Genesis 26 in these two verses about Isaac digging wells.

Genesis 26:20 And the herdmen of Gerar did strive (H7378) with Isaac's herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him.

Genesis 26:22 And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room (H7337) for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.

Isaac is the promised child of faith.  Wells are a type of God’s Torah.  Philistines are the enemies of God’s child of faith.

The story starts with Isaac digging the wells of his father Abraham which the Philistines had stopped up.

Genesis 26:18 And Isaac digged again the wells of water, which they had digged in the days of Abraham his father; for the Philistines had stopped them after the death of Abraham: and he called their names after the names by which his father had called them.

Isaac’s servants then finds a well of “springing water”.  This of course is Jesus who a Messianic Jew calls the “ Living Torah” since John calls Jesus the “Word of God”.

Genesis 26:19 And Isaac's servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water.

John 4:14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

However there is strife and it is named Esek, meaning “strife”. Isaac’s servants then dig another and call it “Sitnah”, which interesting has the same root as “satan”.

Genesis 26:20 And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac's herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him.    

Genesis 26:21 And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah.

So Isaac moved again and dug another well and called it “Rehoboth”.

Genesis 26:22 And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.

This sure looks to be the same story. Israel, the child of faith, dwelled with the enemies of God and was seeking the faith of his father Abraham that the enemies of God and “stopped up”.  The child of faith found a well of springing water - the righteousness found through Christ and not man made laws.  That well turned into strife through the adversary Satan.  Many Jewish people clung to the man-made laws and their belief that as a natural child of Abraham they are saved.  Many gentile believers didn’t want anything to do with God’s Torah.

The ideal would have been to continue being fed by the well of living water, Jesus. Instead there is a split just like the northern and southern kingdoms, and the Jewish and Gentile church.

[workingontruth]

Cancer, Emotions and Interruptions

As we do life here on planet Earth, our emotions of love and concern for people frequently displace the regularly scheduled contemplations of our minds. This is not a bad thing.

God made us in his image (Gen. 1:27). An important part of our created nature is the ability to experience emotion.

Emotion [noun]

- an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness. 

For a couple of weeks, my truly heart-felt occupation with this attempt to identify a more “whole” approach to the Gospel has taken a back seat to the emotions we are experiencing as a family. While our emotions will ebb and flow, I want to pause to accept my lack of “progress” in the aforementioned regard, as well as to break down what I’m seeing develop in my wife, Lesli. It is evidence she is living in her identity in Christ. Her emotions are not being ruled by her old self, but by her more enveloping reality as a remade, resurrected child of the Living God who knows she is firmly in the hands of her Creator. And I’m both encouraged and counseled by it.

Lesli was diagnosed with breast cancer in November. An annual mammogram led to further testing ...which led to an intrusive and painful biopsy. This led to tough news for our family–a positive, malignant cancer diagnosis.

Surgery kicked off our 2019, followed by more examinations of the removed tumor. These examinations, which demonstrate the continually progressive headway being made in the field, produced a medical analysis which confirmed that 3 or 4 months of chemotherapy was to be part of her (our) journey, followed by radiation.

As I write this entry, we are 5 days into this chemo experience for our family–something shared by too many to count these days.

In such times, people respond in a variety of ways. However, I think we categorically respond in just two ways:

One way we respond is to live in the reflexive emotions that will naturally (initially) accompany such news. These emotions, if left unchecked, can and will hijack our lives.

This reminds me of a visit our family made to King’s Island’s Drop Zone when Caleb was, maybe, 10 years old. After experiencing the truly breath-taking 10 seconds that accompanies the gravity-affirming release of this massive, circular amoeba, and as Caleb and I walked away in quest for the next adventure, he said,

“Dad, that’s kind of like life. Fear can take our breath away if we let it.”

WOW! I have chewed on that now for 15 years.

Continuing to live in a state of negative emotional reality leads us to live in the breath-taking turmoil of worry, fear, anger, guilt, isolation, and… (name the rest of yours here).

Another way to respond, and the right way for ones who profess to belong to Jesus, is to fix our attention onto our new reality as ones patterned after, and into, Christ - wherein these reflexive human emotions should be short-lived.

Oh, here you go again, Greg. You’re being heartless and thoroughly insensitive! 

...Are you saying if we belong to Jesus we aren’t human? C’mon, man! Are you living a self-diluted reality? Is this your type-A approach to everything? Are you saying this kind of life-altering news is just another of those opportunities to suck it up and put on your tough-skin?

No. I did not say these natural emotions should be shunned as an illusion, or as evidence of Christian weakness. No. A thousand times, no.

What I am saying is that in such times, we must reckon upon what is true of us as newborn creations in Christ. And in doing so, we are able to live into our new reality–one characterized by Philippians 4:7.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Phil. 4:7

Either this kind of living is our reality or it is not. Period.

To be clear, it would be terribly delusionary to ignore the reality of our initial emotion in times such as we are experiencing as a family. These are real and frustrating tragedies that plague our world–living in the wake of the curse of sin.

But it would also be terribly sad if those destructive emotions weren’t able to be met with the more supreme emotions that should accompany our journey as ones who have left that old, self-destructive man or woman in the grave with Jesus.

Reflecting long on the ownership of our new man, the one now completely owned by God in Christ, we must experience life differently. If not, we have every reason to question whether we belong to God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Cor. 5:17

Backfilling the old worries of our deceased nature (Romans 6:3-4, 6-7, 11-14) with equally honest emotions of calm, stillness, peace, trust, contentment, community and joyful (I didn’t say giddy happiness) surrender as we contemplate what is true of us as ones who are not only factually given over into God’s hands, but as ones who are actually able to live in the emotional reality of whose we are, is living in what is real! We cannot produce this kind of illogical peace and rest in the wake of tragic news. This is the stuff of God. This is no mere mental ascent to the power of positive thinking. No! This is evidence of new life.

So, no, the fact that our reflexive emotions temporarily displace our “regularly scheduled programming,” (i.e. my continued contemplations of a full Gospel in the previous entry) is not a bad thing. It’s human. What is bad is when our God-given emotions aren’t tamed to bow to their Creator.

All that said, as a family, we are witnessing Philippians 4:7 being lived out in front of our eyes as Lesli’s true (not conjured up) emotions of peace and acceptance and contentment with cancer are bearing the evidence of her new life in Christ.

King David’s reflections in Psalms 3:3-5 reminds me of how I am watching Lesli sleep as late.

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill. 

I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.                          - Psalms 3:3-5

“I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.” I love this! Borrowing the words of a friend’s encouraging text message this morning, in the midst of fleeing from his own son who was trying to kill him, David went to sleep and gave it to God. Then, he woke up and was therefore sustained by God for another day.

How many times have you kept yourself up all hours of the night worrying about a situation that is out of your control? We worry. It is sin. Lesli, however, is sleeping soundly. And God is just waiting for us to let go of the worry, let go of the situation …and give it to Him. 

Whatever you’re worrying about, God is already working for his good pleasure ahead of you–if you would only live into the reality of your newness in Him as a follower of Christ, and let Him fill you with what is True of you.

If you cannot live in the light of your newness as a Christian, maybe you have an ownership problem. And for this disease, I have a thought-provoking, scripturally-based antidote. There’s no room for it here, but you can find it in Part II, and chapter 27 of Set Free.

Thanks, honey, for living in reality. You are demonstrating the first line of Psalms 40, verses 1-3 for us, knowing it is God’s to address the rest! 

I waited patiently for the Lord;    he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction,    out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock,    making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth,    a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear,    and put their trust in the Lord.

- Psalms 40:1-3 (ESV)

[dfroza]

A set of posts about hope

shared yesterday by John Parsons:

Though we can't control what happens in this dangerous world, we can trust that God is working all things together for good, even during times of severe testing, even in things that are blatantly evil, and even in the midst of mass hysteria (Rom. 8:28; Gen. 50:20, Jer. 29:11, etc.). And while we instinctively recoil at the prospect of physical death, there are decidedly things worse than death itself, namely, losing hope in life, walking in the darkness of despair, living a joyless existence because of fear, and ultimately facing God as a shameful coward who shrank back from the truth. As much as we abhor evil - and we must resist it with all our hearts - even more must we love the good - and cling to God (וּלְדָבְקָה־בוֹ) with all that is within us.

Ultimately, the most important thing to remember regarding death is the truth about God’s salvation (יְשׁוּעָה). After all, God assuredly hates death and provides each of us with its eternal remedy: By clothing himself in human flesh, Yeshua embraced mortality itself and willingly bore the penalty for your sins, exchanging his life for yours, thereby destroying the one who had the power of death, namely the devil, and by so doing, set you free from slavery to the dread of death (Heb. 2:14-15). To those who belong to Messiah, death represents a passage to eternal life and the loving presence of God Himself.

Only the miracle of faith can see hope in the face of radical evil... and yet that is the very message of the cross of the Messiah... Our Lord demonstrated that He is the the Killer of death itself; the Slayer of the Serpent; and the ultimate Triumph of God's Light over the realm of despair and everlasting darkness... He is the First and the Last, the Living One who died, and behold is alive forevermore, the true Keyholder of Death and Hell (Rev. 1:18). [Hebrew for Christians]

"If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed" (John 8:36). The sages say, "Being free means that I am in the place I am supposed to be." In other words, freedom means surrendering, accepting, and yielding to God's path of blessing for you. This a place of great spiritual contentment where you are liberated from the slavery of fear and disappointment. Yeshua lived in this freedom, since He completely yielded Himself to His father's daily care (John 5:19; 8:29; 14:10).

Surrendering yourself to God’s care is also the means of finding self-acceptance. God knows all your sins and has paid for them upon the cross, and therefore His love for you is the basis for which you can properly forgive and accept yourself... A Yiddish proverb reads, “If I try to be someone else, who then will be like me?" When you die, God won't ask why you weren't more like Moses, Elijah, etc., but rather, why you weren't more like the person He recreated you to be. No one else can do the things you are called to do, and therefore God created you as a distinct individual who reflects His glory in a unique way... “To the one who conquers I will give a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it” (Rev. 2:17).

Those who trust Yeshua as their Savior can intellectually understand and emotionally trust that God is working all things together for good in their lives (Rom. 8:28). Shabbat Shalom and Happy Passover, chaverim. [Hebrew for Christians]

May God help us "let not our hearts be troubled" because He has promised never to leave nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5). "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). As the old spiritual song goes, “He's got the whole world, in His hands... he's got you and me baby, in His hands...” May the LORD our Heavenly Father help us trust in Him. Amen.

4.10.20 • Facebook

and another post about rebirth, about resurrection:

The Scriptures make clear that Yeshua is the true Passover Lamb of God (שֵׂה הָאֱלהִים) whose sacrificial death and shed blood causes the wrath of God to "pass over" (pasach) those who are trusting in Him (John 1:29, 3:36; Acts 8:32-36; 1 Cor. 5:7-8; 1 Pet. 1:18-20, etc.). Amen! Worthy is the Lamb who was slain! (Rev. 5:12). But while the sacrifice of Yeshua gives us forgiveness (סְלִיחָה) and atonement (כַּפָּרָה) with God (Eph. 1:7; Rom. 5:11; Heb. 9:12, etc.), the resurrection of the Messiah (i.e., techiyat ha-Mashiach: תְּחִיַּת הַמָּשִׁיחַ) justifies His work of salvation on behalf of the sinner and forever vindicates the righteousness of God (Rom. 4:20-5:1; Rom. 10:9; Heb. 13:20-21). As Yeshua said: "I am he that lives but was dead; but behold, I am alive for evermore (הִנֵּה אֲנִי חַי לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד), Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death" (Rev. 1:8). Rejoice friends, for our LORD lives! He has killed the power of death and forever reigns in indestructible life!

The resurrection of Yeshua is not an "academic" or speculative question to be considered in purely rational terms, but rather is a matter of eternal life or death. How we choose to respond to its message determines our destiny. Everything turns on whether we awaken to the risen reality and Presence of Yeshua in our lives. Without Him we are hopeless; with Him we are more than conquerors (1 Cor. 15:14; Rom. 8:37).

Everything turns on whether we awaken to the risen Reality and Presence of Yeshua in our lives...

Yeshua completely atoned for our sins and His resurrection validated that God the Father accepted His sacrifice. It was God the Father (i.e., Reality) who raised Yeshua in victory (Gal. 1:1, Rom. 10:9), and those who put their trust trust in Him are declared righteous on account of their faith. Yeshua “was delivered for our offenses, and raised again for our justification” (Rom. 4:25). As Jesus Himself said, "Because I am alive, you also will live" (John 14:19). [Hebrew for Christians]

4.10.20 • Facebook

to be concluded by yesterday’s email sent out by The Temple Institute in Jerusalem that gives a glimpse from a Jewish perspective of the significance of Passover:

"I remember to you the lovingkindness of your youth"

(Jeremiah 2:2)

Nisan 16, 5780/April 10, 2020

Earlier this week, on the Seder night, we all experienced what it was like to be in Egypt on that first Passover eve: we were all instructed (commanded) to stay inside our own houses while a wicked plague was running rampant outside. We all painted our doorposts with the blood of our faith and trust in G-d. And like the Israelites we have emerged from the Seder night into a world of uncertainty. We know in hindsight that it all worked out for the children of Israel. We know that seven days after leaving Egypt the Sea of Reeds opened for the Israelites to pass through, while Pharaoh and his legions were buried beneath the waves. We know that fifty days after leaving Egypt Israel stood at Mount Sinai and received Torah, entering into an eternal covenant with HaShem. We know that forty years later, after many trials and tribulations, Israel entered into the promised land. We even know that two thousands years after her Holy Temple was destroyed and her children were driven into exile, Israel has returned to her ancestral homeland, proving all the naysayers wrong, and verifying the words of the Hebrew prophets. We know all this. But the erstwhile slaves who walked out of Egypt with their meager belongings slung across their backs didn't know this. Hundreds of years later the prophet Jeremiah (2:2) noted:

"Go and call out in the ears of Jerusalem, saying: so said HaShem: I remember to you the lovingkindness of your youth, the love of your nuptials, your following Me in the desert, in a land not sown."

Traditionally, many Jews at the conclusion of the Seder, (if still awake), sing aloud the Song of Songs. Many Jews also recite the Song of Songs on the Shabbat of Passover, in the synagogue. What, you may ask, does a love song have to do with the exodus from Egypt? Thousands of years ago our sages recognized in the words of the Song of Songs a beautiful parable describing Israel's exodus from Egypt and rendezvous with G-d in the wilderness. The two lovers of the Song of Songs are HaShem and His people Israel. They long for one another, they are plaintive when the other seems hidden and they rejoice when they are reunited.

Today we may also cry out at times to G-d "Where are You in this time of Corona, in this time of uncertainty?" The Song of Songs provides our answer: "The sound of my beloved! Behold, he is coming, skipping over the mountains, jumping over the hills. My beloved resembles a gazelle or a fawn of the hinds; behold, he is standing behind our wall, looking from the windows, peering from the lattices." (Song of Songs 2:8)

This Shabbat take the time to read aloud Song of Songs, and relive for yourself the first flowering of love between the children of Israel and the G-d of Israel, even as we today, are traveling through "a land not sown," into a future not certain, but for one eternal verity: "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." (ibid 6:3) Chag Sameach & Shabbat Shalom!

[godsholyword-blog]

Exodus  chapter 2

1---And a man of the house of Levi went and took as wife a daughter of Levi.

2---So the woman conceived and bore a son.  And when she saw that he was a beautiful child, she hid him three months.        (Acts  7:20----’At this time Moses was born, and was well pleasing to God, and he was brought up to his father’s house for three months.’)

3---But when she could no longer hide him, she took an ark of bulrushes for him, daubed it with asphalt and pitch, put the child in it, and laid it in the reeds by the river’s bank.

4---And his sister stood afar off, to know what would be done to him.

5---Then the daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the river.  And her maidens walked along the riverside;  and when she saw the ark among the reeds, she sent her maid to get it.        (Acts 7:20 & 21----At this time Moses was born, and was well pleasing to God;  and he was brought up in his father’s house for three months.  ‘But he was set out,  Pharaoh’s daughter took him away and brought him up as her own son.’)

6---And when she opened it, she saw the child, and behold, the baby wept.  So she had compassion on him and said,  ‘This is one of the Hebrew’s children.’

7---Then his sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter,  ‘Shall I go and call a nurse for you from the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for you?’         (Num. 26:59----The name of Amram’s wife was Jochebed the daughter of Levi who was born to Levi in Egypt;  and to Amram she bore Aaron and Moses, and their sister Miriam.)

8---And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her,  ‘Go.’  So the maiden went and called the child’s mother.

9---Then Pharaoh’s daughter said to her,  ‘Take this child away and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages.’  So the woman took the child and nursed him.

10--And the child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son.  So she called his name Moses, saying,  ‘Because I drew him out of the water.          (Acts  7:21----But when he was set out, Pharaoh’s daughter took him away and brought him up as her own son,)

11--Now it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out to his brethren and looked at their burdens.  And he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brethren.         (Heb. 11: 24-26----By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt;  for he looked to the reward.)

12--So he looked this way and that way, and when he saw no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.           (Acts 7:24 & 25----’And seeing one of them suffer wrong, he defended and avenged him who was oppressed, and struck down the Egyptian...….)

13--And when he went out the second day, behold, two Hebrew men wee fighting, and he said to the one who did wrong,  ‘Why are you striking your companion?’

14--Then he said,  ‘Who made you a prince and a judge over us?  Do you intend to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?  So Moses feared and said,   ‘Surely this thing is known.’          (Acts 7:27----’But he who did his neighbor wrong pushed him away, saying,  ‘Who made you a ruler and a judge over us?’)

15--When Pharaoh heard of this matter, he sought to kill Moses.  But fled from the face of Pharaoh and dwelt in the land of Midian;  and he sat down by a well.   (Acts 7: 29----Then at this saying,   Moses fled and became a dweller in the land of Midian, where he had two sons.)

16--Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters.  And they came to draw water, and they filled the troughs to water their father’s flock.’

17--The the shepherds came and drove them away;  but Moses stood up and helped them, and watered their flock.         (see Gen. 26: 19-21; 28:10)

18--When they came to Reuel their father, he said,  ‘How is it that you have come so soon today?’

19--And they said,  ‘An Egyptian delivered us from the hand of the shepherds, and he also drew enough water for us and watered the flock.      (see Gen. 29:10)

20--So he said to his daughters,  ‘And where is he?  Why is it that you have left the man?  Call him, that he may eat bread.’          (see Gen. 31:54)

21--Then Moses was content to live with the man, and he gave Zipporah his daughter to Moses.            (Numb.  12:1----Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married;  for he had married an Ethiopian woman.)

22--And she bore him a son.  He called his name Gershom, for he said,  ‘I have been a stranger in a foreign land.

23--Now it happened in the process of time that the king of Egypt died.  Then the children of Israel groaned because of the bondage, and they cried out;  and their cry came up to God because of the bondage.

24--So God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.          (Gen. 15: 14-18 & 17:7)

25--And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God acknowledged them.

God Bless

[tj-van-heerden]

The fear of God in the Bible

(The "fear" of God means a reverent respect or fear)

Gen 20:11 [WEB] Abraham said, “Because I thought, ‘Surely the fear of God is not in this place. They will kill me for my wife’s sake.’

Gen 22:12 He said, “Don’t lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him. For now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.”

Exod 18:21 Moreover you shall provide out of all the people able men which fear God: men of truth, hating unjust gain; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens.

Deut 4:10 the day that you stood before Yahweh your God in Horeb, when Yahweh said to me, “Assemble the people to me, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.”

Deut 5:29 Oh that there were such a heart in them that they would fear me and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!

Deut 6:2 that you might fear Yahweh your God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you—you, your son, and your son’s son, all the days of your life; and that your days may be prolonged.

Deut 6:24 Yahweh commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Yahweh our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are today.

Deut 8:6 You shall keep the commandments of Yahweh your God, to walk in his ways, and to fear him.

Deut 10:12, 13 12 Now, Israel, what does Yahweh your God require of you, but to fear Yahweh your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, and to serve Yahweh your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 to keep Yahweh’s commandments and statutes, which I command you today for your good?

Deut 13:4 You shall walk after Yahweh your God, fear him, keep his commandments, and obey his voice. You shall serve him, and cling to him.

Deut 17:18, 19 18 It shall be, when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write himself a copy of this law in a book, out of that which is before the Levitical priests. 19 It shall be with him, and he shall read from it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear Yahweh his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them;

Deut 31:12, 13 12 Assemble the people, the men and the women and the little ones, and the foreigners who are within your gates, that they may hear, learn, fear Yahweh your God, and observe to do all the words of this law, 13 and that their children, who have not known, may hear and learn to fear Yahweh your God, as long as you live in the land where you go over the Jordan to possess it.”

Josh 4:24 that all the peoples of the earth may know that Yahweh’s hand is mighty, and that you may fear Yahweh your God forever.

1Sam 12:14, 15 14 If you will fear Yahweh, and serve him, and listen to his voice, and not rebel against the commandment of Yahweh, then both you and also the king who reigns over you are followers of Yahweh your God. 15 But if you will not listen to Yahweh’s voice, but rebel against the commandment of Yahweh, then Yahweh’s hand will be against you, as it was against your fathers.

1Sam 12:24 Only fear Yahweh, and serve him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things he has done for you.

2Sam 23:3 The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spoke to me, ‘One who rules over men righteously, who rules in the fear of God,

2Kgs 17:36 but you shall fear Yahweh, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt with great power and with an outstretched arm, and you shall bow yourselves to him, and you shall sacrifice to him.

2Kgs 17:39 But you shall fear Yahweh your God, and he will deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies.

2Chr 14:14 They struck all the cities around Gerar; for the fear of Yahweh came on them, and they plundered all the cities; for there was much plunder in them.

2Chr 17:10 The fear of Yahweh fell on all the kingdoms of the lands that were around Judah, so that they made no war against Jehoshaphat.

2Chr 19:7 Now therefore let the fear of Yahweh be on you. Take heed and do it; for there is no iniquity with Yahweh our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of bribes.”

2Chr 19:9 He commanded them, saying, “You shall do this in the fear of Yahweh, faithfully, and with a perfect heart.

2Chr 20:29 The fear of God was on all the kingdoms of the countries, when they heard that Yahweh fought against the enemies of Israel.

Neh 5:15, 16 15 But the former governors who were before me were supported by the people, and took bread and wine from them, plus forty shekels of silver; yes, even their servants ruled over the people; but I didn’t do so, because of the fear of God. 16 Yes, I also continued in the work of this wall. We didn’t buy any land. All my servants were gathered there to the work.

Job 1:9-11 9 Then Satan answered Yahweh, and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10 Haven’t you made a hedge around him, and around his house, and around all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. 11 But stretch out your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will renounce you to your face.”

Ps 19:9 The fear of Yahweh is clean, enduring forever. Yahweh’s ordinances are true, and righteous altogether.

Ps 22:23 You who fear Yahweh, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, glorify him! Stand in awe of him, all you descendants of Israel!

Ps 25:14 The friendship of Yahweh is with those who fear him. He will show them his covenant.

Ps 33:18 Behold, Yahweh’s eye is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his loving kindness,

Ps 34:7 Yahweh’s angel encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Ps 34:9 Oh fear Yahweh, you his saints, for there is no lack with those who fear him.

Ps 34:11 Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of Yahweh.

Ps 36:1 A revelation is within my heart about the disobedience of the wicked: “There is no fear of God before his eyes.”

Ps 66:16 Come and hear, all you who fear God. I will declare what he has done for my soul.

Ps 85:9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that glory may dwell in our land.

Ps 103:11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his loving kindness toward those who fear him.

Ps 103:13 Like a father has compassion on his children, so Yahweh has compassion on those who fear him.

Ps 103:17 But Yahweh’s loving kindness is from everlasting to everlasting with those who fear him, his righteousness to children’s children,

Ps 111:5 He has given food to those who fear him. He always remembers his covenant.

Ps 111:10 The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom. All those who do his work have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!

Ps 115:11 You who fear Yahweh, trust in Yahweh! He is their help and their shield.

Ps 115:13 He will bless those who fear Yahweh, both small and great.

Ps 145:19 He will fulfill the desire of those who fear him. He also will hear their cry, and will save them.

Ps 147:11 Yahweh takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his loving kindness.

Prov 1:7 The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of knowledge; but the foolish despise wisdom and instruction.

Prov 1:28, 29 Then they will call on me, but I will not answer. They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me; 29 because they hated knowledge, and didn’t choose the fear of Yahweh.

Prov 2:4-6 4 if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures: 5 then you will understand the fear of Yahweh, and find the knowledge of God. 6 For Yahweh gives wisdom. Out of his mouth comes knowledge and understanding.

Prov 3:7 Don’t be wise in your own eyes. Fear Yahweh, and depart from evil.

Prov 8:13 The fear of Yahweh is to hate evil. I hate pride, arrogance, the evil way, and the perverse mouth.

Prov 9:10 The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom. The knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Prov 14:26, 27 26 In the fear of Yahweh is a secure fortress, and he will be a refuge for his children. 27 The fear of Yahweh is a fountain of life, turning people from the snares of death.

Prov 15:16 Better is little, with the fear of Yahweh, than great treasure with trouble.

Prov 15:33 The fear of Yahweh teaches wisdom. Before honor is humility.

Prov 16:6 By mercy and truth iniquity is atoned for. By the fear of Yahweh men depart from evil.

Prov 19:23 The fear of Yahweh leads to life, then contentment; he rests and will not be touched by trouble.

Prov 22:4 The result of humility and the fear of Yahweh is wealth, honor, and life.

Prov 23:17 Don’t let your heart envy sinners, but rather fear Yahweh all day long.

Eccl 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams there are vanities, as well as in many words; but you must fear God.

Eccl 8:12, 13 12 Though a sinner commits crimes a hundred times, and lives long, yet surely I know that it will be better with those who fear God, who are reverent before him.

Eccl 12:13 This is the end of the matter. All has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man.

Isa 11:1-3 1 A shoot will come out of the stock of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots will bear fruit. 2 Yahweh’s Spirit will rest on him: the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of Yahweh. 3 His delight will be in the fear of Yahweh. He will not judge by the sight of his eyes, neither decide by the hearing of his ears;

Isa 33:6 There will be stability in your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of Yahweh is your treasure.

Jer 5:22 Don’t you fear me?’ says Yahweh ‘Won’t you tremble at my presence, who have placed the sand for the bound of the sea, by a perpetual decree, that it can’t pass it? Though its waves toss themselves, yet they can’t prevail. Though they roar, they still can’t pass over it.’

Jer 32:39 I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their good, and the good of their children after them.

Zeph 3:7 I said, “Just fear me. Receive correction, so that her dwelling won’t be cut off, according to all that I have appointed concerning her.” But they rose early and corrupted all their doings.

Mal 3:5 I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against the perjurers, and against those who oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and who deprive the foreigner of justice, and don’t fear me,” says Yahweh of Armies.

Matt 10:28 Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul. Rather, fear him who is able to destroy both soul and body in Gehenna [or, Hell].

Luke 1:50 His mercy is for generations of generations on those who fear him.

Luke 12:5 But I will warn you whom you should fear. Fear him who after he has killed, has power to cast into Gehenna [or, Hell]. Yes, I tell you, fear him.

Acts 13:16, 17 16 Paul stood up, and beckoning with his hand said, “Men of Israel, and you who fear God, listen. 17 The God of this people chose our fathers, and exalted the people when they stayed as aliens in the land of Egypt, and with an uplifted arm, he led them out of it.

Acts 13:26 Brothers, children of the stock of Abraham, and those among you who fear God, the word of this salvation is sent out to you.

Rom 3:17, 18 17 The way of peace, they haven’t known.” 18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

2Cor 7:1 Having therefore these promises, beloved, let’s cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

1Pet 2:17 Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

Rev 14:7 He said with a loud voice, “Fear the Lord, and give him glory; for the hour of his judgment has come. Worship him who made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and the springs of waters!”

Rev 19:5 A voice came from the throne, saying, “Give praise to our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, the small and the great!”