#begging that you go outside and talk to some irl people

[whewchilly]

no offence lol but some of u need to go get a life. urgently

[simpjaes]

enha as camboys and the content they would stream 😁

hyung line + being cam boys

★ heeseung:

absolutely no solo shows but will take your money if you want a private show where he dirty talks you and gets off with you. fr the only time you'll see him fucking himself is if you're on the other end wishing it was you to his face and telling him exactly how bad you want him. other than that, he's got a new guest every week, fucks them to near stars, and then finishes off by moaning real nice and pretty with his cumshot so he gets more tips. additionally, he only fucks other big cam stars to boost his analytics. he's very open irl about what he does, and will 100% fuck all of his private hook-ups as if he's on camera. to the point he probs seems suuuper selfish in bed.

☆ jay:

would probably cam for the money as a side job but be pretty casual with it. it's not his main source of income but he has a small following of fans that he obsesses over in secret bc like....woah, ppl actually want him this badly? cool! i think he's the type to take requests because he wouldn't really know what to do aside from fuck into his fist with a roll of toilet paper next to him. the good thing about that is? he's open to trying new things if you pay him enough, and will only do private shows with the fans who he thinks he could actually date irl bc he's emotional as hell about sex on the down low.

i think as he grows in popularity he would find his fun in various sex toys and dolls, probably would do jerk-off instructions for women using said dolls and toys. i'm talking, eating it out, telling them when and where to touch using the doll so they can pretend it's them, and then fucking it til he cums :D

★ jake:

100% doing requests and will moan the name of the highest bidder solely to make other viewers jealous so they tip higher next time. fr, everyone wants him to moan their name and it's probably like, his thing. like that's why people join his streams. of course it's also to watch him double fist his cock before begging out for anyone to drink his cum, it's also to watch on those days where he's particularly dominant and degrading everyone watching him while he works himself up. always something new on his stream, always a different name he moans, and fucking always private shows one after the other, pumping his cum out so often that he's practically trained himself to constantly be horny.

it pays his bills tho fr, who doesn't wanna just cum all day to the people who wish they could lick it up for him?

☆ sunghoon:

this man streams art. he's probably wearing some hot outfit, keeps his face out of frame, doesn't speak but only moans, and ultimately makes everyone wish he was their boyfriend. makes himself seem attainable, sometimes very vanilla, fucking just his fist and making it feel like a privilege just to watch, other times going all out with a toy, finger fucking it really good before doing long and slow strokes until he's getting off into it.

he'd never admit to people that he enjoys the work either, especially because he'd appear so professional on the outside. omg imagine if like, his coworker was one of his viewers and booked a private call, only for him to hear your voice and get soooooooooooo turned on knowing who you are, and wondering how he will face you the next day..........ok i got off track.

anyway, sunghoon anonymous boyfriend with a huge dick that fucks just the way women want. to the point they actually dm him their address.

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[cozytief]

Wooyoung "I hate you" "I love you"

Hello ^_^ I am new X male reader/ writer. I saw a post about writing prompts and which members it goes to. I saw this prompt and my brain just ran with it. It was originally written with my OC instead of MN, so I apologize if I left the name in somewhere.

~~~

In no way does this represent Wooyoung irl or his actual personality. This is fiction.

TW: Abuse, Name calling, alcohol use, jealous Wooyoung (idk more off the top of my head)

~~~

Wooyoung knew he'd been in the wrong. M/N had wanted to go clubbing. He knew he was in a bad mood and shouldn't go. Yet, the cute smile that laid on M/N's face as he begged made Wooyoung agree. M/N had been missing the other a lot recently. Wooyoung had just gotten back from a comeback. He'd been focusing only on that. He'd been ignoring the other's texts and calls. He told himself he'd do better but everyday he'd slip back into the same bad habits. Wooyoung had watched the other get dressed, excitedly talking to him about the club they were going to. Wooyoung listened, getting dressed himself.

He'd smiled as he followed the other to the club. M/N's apartment in the heart of the city. Wooyoung had been honestly feeling better, starting to vibe. They had gotten a table and bought a bottle. Halfway into the night, Wooyoung had started to feel unhappy again. He hadn't wanted to dance, and M/N had disappeared into the crowd. He paused mid-sip as his eyes landed on M/N. The other giggling as he was sandwiched between some people. A girl in front of M/N, twerking as she looked back smirking. M/N simply giggling and he brushed against the male behind him. The male took that as a sign to grab his hips. M/N made fast work to remove the other's hands, but it was too slow for Wooyoung's liking. Wooyoung couldn't help but clench his fists as he set his drink down. He knew the other was just having fun, but it upset him. The other should be up here with him. Wooyoung looked back down to see another female joining the first and Wooyoung snapped. He made it down to the dance floor in record time. M/N's eyes landed on Wooyoung as he roughly shoved the male behind him. "Hyung-" "Shut up," He hissed, tightly grabbing the other's wrists and dragging him away. M/N's heels dug deep as he tried to stop the other. "What are you doing?" He questioned, in disbelief. Wooyoung tightened his grip, yanking the other towards him with as much force as he could. "What the fuck is wrong with you, dude," Wooyoung instantly recognized him as the one he'd shoved. "Fuck off," He spat, turning to M/N. The said male looking at him like he'd gone crazy. "We're going home," He hissed, yanking the other once more. "He's not going anywhere with you," The male said, tightly gripping M/N. Wooyoung couldn't help himself from shoving the other again. "Get your hands off of him!" The male straightened up. M/N pushed Wooyoung away, towards the exit. "It's fine. He's my boyfriend," He stated, rushing to move the angry boy from the scene. M/N flinched as he saw security arrive. "We're leaving," He stated, allowing Wooyoung to drag him out of the club. Security followed them out, watching them carefully.

Wooyoung shoved M/N away from him once they were outside. M/N stumbled before turning to Wooyoung, angry. "What the fuck was that?!" Wooyoung simply rolled his eyes, making his way towards M/N's apartment. “Answer me," He hissed out, chasing the other. "You hurt me," He hissed, rubbing his bruised wrists. "You hurt me too!" Wooyoung spat, finally turning to look at him. "Did you have fun whoring yourself out?!" M/N's mouth fell open at the words. "Excuse me?!" He spat at the other. Wooyoung shoved M/N as he spoke. "I called you a whore. Do you like grinding on strangers?!" M/N shoved Wooyoung back. "It's a club, Wooyoung! I asked you to dance and you declined!" Wooyoung shoved the other, making the other stumble backwards into the wall. "So, you hump every stranger you find?!" He hissed. Wooyoung's face was red in anger with veins showing. "You're a free use whore!" Wooyoung spat. M/N opened his mouth but froze as Wooyoung slapped him hard across the face. The other's hand had come out of nowhere, slapping him so hard his head snapped to the side. M/N felt tears fill his eyes. M/N's eyes finally met Wooyoung's. The other still angry as he glared down at him. "I can't do this," He softly confessed. Wooyoung seemed to finally falter. "What?" M/N stood up, touching his own face in disbelief. "I can't do this," His voice louder this time as he moved a step away from Wooyoung. "I hate you," The words hung thick in the air as he moved away from Wooyoung. The said male slowly realizing how bad he'd fucked up. "I love you," Wooyoung stated, moving towards M/N. The other backed up instantly, making Wooyoung pause. The unreturned words made his heart sting. "I love you," He repeated, M/N cried as he continued to back away from the other. Wooyoung felt tears come to his eyes as he realized the other wouldn't look at him. "Have one of the boys pack up your stuff," He stated softly, moving towards his apartment. Wooyoung's heart broke as he watched the other. "M/N!" The other didn't say a word, rushing away from the scene. Wooyoung sat down, tears flowing from his eyes as he fumbled for his phone. "Woo-ah?" Yunho questioned upon answering. "H-he broke up with me," The words came out a broken statement. Wooyoung knew he'd been in the wrong. He should have stayed home.

[betterthanyalls]

Wssppp this is like uhh day 5 or 6? I really REALLY love this one. I am obsessed with Sammy i love him so much. He is so hot, I will go on a rant of him. My irl friends are annoyed with how much I talk abt him. Neways onwards!!!🫶🫶🫶🫶

Sammy Lawrence x Reader

Smell of pines

Published: 12-9-2023

Words: 674

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ringing of the bell signaled someone entering the shop. Or two someones, should I say.

Chatting away, Y/n and her boyfriend, Sammy, walked into a local plant shop. It was Christmas season and Y/n had begged Sammy to come with her shopping for decor. And even though they have been together for what seemed like forever, which was only 3 years; Sammy still got flustered from her(Though he would never admit it).

When a break hit their conversation, Y/n took a deep breath of the floral life around her. Exhaling with a smile, she turned to Sammy.

“Do you smell that?”

Sammy inhaled through his nose for a second before exhaling immediately after. “Yeah, what about it?”

“What’s it smell like to you?” Y/n asked curiously, she always had a knack for wanting to know everything. And that knack of hers was multiplied tenfold when she started dating Sammy, she wanted to know everything about him. At first, this weirded Sammy out; but now it’s a second nature to tell Y/n anything she wanted to know. He loved that goofy smile she’d get when she learned something new.

So, putting on a teasing smile, Sammy said, “It smells like employees hating their lives.”

Y/n gave him the most impassive look she could muster.

“I was talking about the smell of pine trees.”

Sammy just shrugged and walked away from her, knowing she’d follow. “Same difference.”

“Wha- No it’s not! Pine is a much more nostalgic and happy smell rather than whatever ‘Employees hating their lives.’ smells like!” Y/n chased after her boyfriend.

Once she found him, the two went back to the most random topics that came along the way. After shopping for a bit, Y/n picked out a nice looking wreath. Whereas, unbeknownst to Y/n, Sammy bought a mistletoe and had a plan.

Finally leaving the store, the two got into their shared car; with Y/n in the passenger and Sammy driving, he didn’t trust her driving skills after she almost ran off the road and then accidently whipped the car with people behind them.

Sammy began to drive to their shared apartment. On the way, Y/n turned on the radio and Christmas music flooded the car. As the previous song ended, one of Y/n and Sammy’s favorites came on and the two immediately began to sing along to the duet.

“I really can’t stay…”

“Baby it’s cold outside.”

“I’ve got to go away…”

“Baby it’s cold outside.”

“This evening has been…”

“Hoping that you’d drop by.”

“So…very nice.”

“I’ll take your hands, they're just like ice.”

The two sang on and on until the song ended, arriving home right on time too. Sammy drove the car to the apartment parking lot and put it in park.

While Y/n was turned in her seat to get the wreath from the back seats, Sammy hung the mistletoe on the rearview mirror.

When Y/n turned back, she saw the mistletoe hanging up. She looked over to Sammy, about to ask where the mistletoe came from. But before she could, she was cut off by a pair of warm, soft lips meeting her cold, chapped ones.

Even though they have kissed countless times before, Y/n couldn’t help but become flustered and thoughtless each time Sammy kissed her. Even a small forehead peck could get her to smile and giggle like a schoolgirl.

Slowly, the kiss broke, giving the two lovebirds some air. Sammy leaned away from her, watching for her reaction. She always made him smile with her reactions to his kisses.

Y/n’s face was firetruck red, she was burning up so much that she thought she had a fever.

Not being able to form words, she simply looked away from Sammy and stared at the windshield in front of her.

Sammy merely laughed at her flustered expression.

Little did they know, the universe had intertwined Sammy and Y/n’s hearts so that they may be together forever.

[lynntbw]

I feel like an outsider in the lgbt community or more specifically the trans community and I know this might come off as me being hard to please but I legit I don’t feel like I belong cuz outside of being lgbt I have pretty much nothing in common with the vast majority of them I’ve seen(longish post btw)

-I’m not into a lot of the music that’s popular in these circles(hyperpop, house, metal, and most harder rock in general aren’t my thing)

-I don’t like loud concerts/clubs because the noise is just too much for me

-I refuse to participate in drugs and quite frankly we need to have a talk about how people romanticize drugs because it’s a serious issue

-Although I am on occasion willing to play some video games i wouldn’t call myself a gamer

-I don’t know or do anything involving coding or engineering

-This one I admit is a bit of a nitpick but even among the ones that do enjoy watching cartoons I’ve yet to come across any who are interested in animation the same way I am like rarely if ever do they talk about golden age stuff much it’s usually just anime, dramedies(mostly 2010s and later), baby shows, animated sitcoms, or stuff they’re nostalgic for and while I don’t dislike most of those things it does annoy me a bit how other things tend to be ignored.

Also while I can tolerate some things society has deemed cringe I do have my limits and I know this isn’t all trans women but the uwu puppygirl shit is painfully cringe and I hate how prominent it is on pretty much every platform I go looking for fellow trans fems not to mention the rather disturbing fetishes I’ve seen(especially incest like wtf is wrong with you) and I’m tired of holding my tongue or pretending to be someone I’m not just because I want to make friends and don’t want to be perceived as transphobic.

Ignoring Twitter since I was already on there and knew it wouldn’t work the first platform I tried to search for transfems on was TikTok but it didn’t take long for me to realize that it’s got the same issues most others have, more recently I’ve also tried multiple discord and reddit servers but all of them were like this(+ some were way too comfortable with right wing beliefs and/or zionism), tumblr isn’t as bad but ngl i feel like I’m talking to the void more often than not since I pretty much never get any interactions beyond brief small talk.

I’ve officially given up on looking exclusively for transfem spaces and am now hoping to find LGBT inclusive spaces that don’t feel the same as everything else cuz I hate being so lonely all the goddamn time, for the record I live in a mostly conservative small town so I don’t have anyone irl I can talk to about this and the few irl friends I did have all ghosted me.

This isn’t a sympathy begging post or anything like that I know I’m not entitled to these things and that far more important things are going on right now I just needed to get this off my chest.

[restinslices]

I Don’t Even Know

I had a dream about the cast of the crows and I gotta share it. I copy and pasted what I told someone cause I had to get it out immediately. No one asked but imma tell you anyway.

So in this dream I start off by getting out of school (idk why I keep having dreams in school when I graduated but ok) and I'm on the bus with a few people and one of my friends irl. So I'm saying that I wish I wasn't the last stop and my friend suggests just walking home. like, walking out at someone else's stop and going home since it'd be quicker. I leave the bus and start walking, my friend is GONE and so is all my school shit but ok whatever. I'm walking and I see Calahan and he's with a little girl. Probably around like, 5. Apparently we know each other and we're dating. He leaves some of his stuff outside, picks up the girl and says we should go to this shop that they were outside of. I'm like "you're just gonna leave your stuff?" and he says smth about how he can't carry it and her and she can't carry it so it's fine outside. I'm like "why not leave it with the other people out there? have them watch over it?" and he says he doesn't know them well enough. And I'm like, aight. not my shit. I have both hands free and could've held it but ok. So this place is like,,, a rolled ice cream diy place? it looked like play dough but mfs was actually snacking so whatever. at some point I tell Cal imma go outside and check on the shit he left outside.

I go outside and this random Silco from Arcane built bitch is staring at me and the shit is gone. So I'm like "you took it didn't you" and he says yes and starts pressing me like we got personal beef. at this point the girl walks out so I can't swing on buddy like I want to. And I ask why he took our (idk why I refer to it as "our" when it's not mine) shit and BITCH hold ya seat. This mf says "I'll give you back your things when you tell Calahan to give Ben back his daughter".

I BEG YOUR PARDON? For context Cal has been saying this is his niece and I believed him cause she has blonde hair and blue eyes. So I'm like "this isn't Ben's daughter. She looks nothing like him" but he ain't tryna discuss. Those are the terms, good luck and don't fuck it up.

I go inside and see some random ass NPCs that are my friends and I'm like "bitch, I got good news and bad news" and I whisper "good news, this shop's owner won his lawsuit against his old partner so it's now officially his and he can do whatever. Bad news that girl is Ben Barnes daughter. Benjamin Thomas Barnes bitch. And the mom could be-" as I'm saying this, Cal and the girl walk into the hallway so I stop talking and sign that the mom could be any of 5 women Ben fucking around with. Then I leave with Cal and this MF is mad at ME. He's deadass ignoring me. And crazy thing is we pass the store, the silco built bitch is looking at us but we don't say nothing so his stuff is just gone.

We run into the rest of the cast for the crows and we decide to head to Danielle's place. We're going up the hill and Kit brings to our attention that someone is RUNNING at us and instead of us running or jumping brodie, I get volunteered against my will to go and press him. So when he gets close enough I ask what he's doing and apparently he was timing himself on how fast it'd take for him to get close to us. I obviously tell him to get tf on somewhere but as we keep walking, he keeps doing this and only stops when I threaten him with violence.

When we get to Danielle's place I'm tryna ask Cal for Ben's number without saying why I need it and he's still not answering me. I turn around and tell me why Ben is THERE. I turn back around and the kid is gone. These two ain't saying shit to each other so I'm like "you know what, this ain't my business". I look down and Danielle has pet feeders with only shredded cheese so I'm like "Danielle, you don't have cat food?" (does she even have a cat IRL? I have no idea) and she's like "no. she'll be fine with just that" and I'm like "you're going to kill your cat. a little cheese is fine but ONLY cheese, no food no water is gonna kill them".

And the shit irritated me so bad I woke up.

a couple things I thought about when I woke up. 1) Cal how you gonna be mad at ME but you see Ben and you don't press him? And Ben why you not pressing him? SOMEBODY is in the wrong. Either that's Ben's daughter and Cal took her or Ben got mfs in the streets tryna steal Cal's niece for whatever reason. And to add onto that, Cal you are too big not to smack tf outta that Silco looking dude and get your shit back. Just big for no reason.

2) Back to Ben and Cal, y'all should've swung on each other immediately cause somebody either stole or is tryna steal someone's little girl. And I'm just thinking, if y'all was beefing at a wedding, y'all should've been beefing at that wedding. why would you bring it to somebody else club? and by club I mean my life cause this really ain't have shit to do with me. Also Ben was not there during the walk so why is no one concerned this MF popped up like a loan shark finna collect debt?

3) Why am I, a 5'5 girl volunteered to go and talk to this random ass man, instead of the FOUR MEN that was there? That's so unbelievably foul.

4) I'm fr never gonna find out whether that's Ben's daughter or Cal's niece and it upsets me

[ferretzdiary]

Saying I love you to my parents feels so weird. It’s not that I don’t love them- it’s complicated really. I kind of hate them too. They aren’t exactly good people, but they aren’t exactly bad either?

It’s weird to say I love you to people who don’t actually love you. They love the idea of you, what they want of you and expect, and feel the need to love you because you’re their dna, but they don’t love you as you. Other than being white as paper, I’m nearly everything they hate. I’m queer, I’m trans, I’m autistic, I’m alt, I’m a punk, I hate things they worship, I’m a witch, etc. list keeps going.

They don’t like my personality. Over the years I’ve learned I get in trouble with them less if I dull myself down, if everything including my emotions are concealed. This is very difficult for someone who’s autistic, has depression, ptsd, and anxiety that affects my heart; but I have to bottle it of fear if it’s the wrong emotion I’ll get in trouble. Specifically negative ones. Negative ones are usually met with yelling, belittling, scolding, etc. anger. I literally have gotten in trouble for being on high suicide risk. I can’t help that. I wasn’t even honest on most of the questions at the damn hospital because I’m scared of them. When they find out I’m harming myself they get mad at me because I have no reason to be sad, scolding me about how good I have it. I know my life is better than a lot of peoples but that doesn’t make everything magically go away. I don’t understand why they think it does.

Not to mention they’re aware I was raped and beat by my cousin for years. They don’t care, when they found out they said and did nothing, he’s still the family favorite, and the cherry on top is life is going way better for him. He’s got a sweet girlfriend, an apartment, a good paying job, everything. I can’t even get my damn license bc for some reason I’m terrified of cars.

Back to being a faggot; when I was outed (not consensual, I begged not to be because I knew what was to come, I was already struggling to understand what was going on with myself and condemning myself) I came home to being told I’d be hung on our Barb wire fence with allll the other queers if I didn’t by my father (I had just started middle school). No exaggeration. They still tell me I can tell them anything and they don’t care but continue to spit threats, slurs and whatever the fuck else towards the lgbt, a lot of the time it feels aimed at me wether they mean it or not.

I literally have struggled to keep myself together while my heart was giving me trouble because I was so damn terrified they’d be pissed. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence because I literally Tweek out just being in a damn Walmart half the time.

I don’t have friends outside of my phone, the one irl friend I got to see moved to NY, my other one I just never see and is always sick, and everyone else is online. I’d make friends, but my parents kinda prevent that too bc I don’t want them bitching because someone looks a certain way or isn’t white. I literally avoided a black girl I wanted to be friends with because I knew she wouldn’t be safe as my friend. Not to mention I work at my dad’s food truck and other than my house and grandmas that’s all I ever go, I work full time, so how am I meant to even make friends? I’m so isolated, I’m as isolated as I was when my cousin beat me if I talked to other kids, hell I might be MORE isolated now. I’m in a tight box!!

And I’m trapped. I can’t drive, I can hardly cook, I can hardly take care of myself at all, I’m stupid as hell, need help to get through college, etc. I’m stuck. I can’t take this anymore. It’s so fucking hard not to attempt again but I don’t want to let mfs win, I want to survive for my friends, my grandma, and so I can have a future where I die as myself not the stranger I see in the mirror. My self harm has been so bad lately, I keep blanking out and relapsing, I have no one to go to. I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I almost wish I could go back to the hospital and dump everything but I’m turning twenty, what can they fuckin do? Not to mention how badly I want to get my bachelors and become a zoologist, I can’t loose my college opportunity.

[alpinelogy]

Insane ramblings slightly refined from Tuesday evening about rbr!Alex Sargebon under the cut but probably still pretty ooc. I mean it when I say I dont have time to write that now but I know better than to never say never. If someone wants to talk to me about this please I would love you forever

Alex stays in Redbull past 2020 at the cost of his mental health and he becomes more and more withdrawn from his friends (primarily the Twitch Quartet)/the paddock in general. George tries to keep in touch but he also has only so much energy when Alex seemingly isn't interested in the friendship, Alex quite literally on some weekends just shows up, does his media duties, races, and then disappears again and only really keeps within Redbull circles.

Cue 2023, Alex is still in Redbull but Daniel is back in the Redbull family after getting fired by McLaren and he poses a large threat towards Alex's seat. Meanwhile Logan debuts in Williams with Mick as his teammate. On his side he is still very close with Oscar and unlike irl, the presumably short lived ties with George actually turned into a proper friendship/mentorship so through that he is also friendly with Lando and Charles because there is only so many people on the grid.

(*Mick is partially bias but also lowkey reasonable I think. Here instead of Alex its Oscar in Williams in 2022 but then he elopes with McLaren and Micks ties with Toto put him in that seat cause I said so. Also Logan being the only rookie on the grid is sorta relevant

Logan is not as outperformed by Mick as he was by Alex irl but being the only rookie still puts him under a lot of pressure and Alex isn't stupid and keeps up with the grid. He sees a lot of 2019 himself in logan except Logan has a support system that he is willing to rely on in the form of Oscar and George primarily.

Somewhere around Miami (early May) a plot macguffin occurs, they probably both have a shit day and try to hide in the same spot. Logan gets there first and when Alex appears he is ready to find another place because he is sort of intimidated by Alex but Alex is still Alex and ends up being pretty friendly and approachable and Logan admits to a lot of his fears about failing and losing his seat at the end of the season.

They both have to go but this really stays stuck in Alex's brain because on his end the pressure of Daniel being back is really mounting now. Around this time also George does is occasional attempt at reconnecting with Alex and to both their surprise and shock horror Alex responds. Cue a tentative and careful friendship sometime around late May because George loves Alex but already got hurt once but also; he really missed Alex.

Lando and Charles somehow find out/get told that George and Alex are now friendly again and eventually the four of them start getting close again and have a proper friendship again. Alex is still way more withdrawn and less outwardly friendly than irl but he is genuinely trying cause he realized that the same support Logan has now he also had and ignored and maybe there is some benefit to having people outside of rbr.

Logan and Alex keep running into each other but there is not that much deeper friendship so far. By the time Zandvoort rolls around George trusts Alex again a reasonable amount and when Logan has the shite weekend he did (Q3 rash/DNF in the race) and Alex wants to offer support because he's trying to be a better friend now and he genuinely does consider Logan a friend but he cannot find him anywhere so he eventually convinces George to give him Logan's phone number.

George is really iffy on the whole idea cause yeah he trusts Alex now it has been several months of Alex genuinely trying even if fumbling it a bit but he also cares about Logan and does not want him to get hurt if Alex randomly decides to withdraw again. Eventually after much begging and promises he relents. Insert some comfort here, Alex and Logan start being friends here.

To check up on Lando and Oscar as well their friendship proceeds as irl, maybe a bit faster cause Oscar was a 2022 rookie and not a 2023 rookie so even tho they are newly teammates they aren't as much strangers. The fact that here George basically took Logan under his wing also helps in their not as much strangers as irl situation.

Then Singapore happens as it did irl and Alex realizes that if he loses his Redbull seat he would not even be in AT he would just be seatless. That really fucks with him and he tries to blame himself for getting too distracted and making friends but the rest of the group does not let him. He's their friend for better and for worse.

Since none of them except Lando have a good weekend they form a little circle for the brokenhearted and sulk together. Alex gets unceremoniously dragged along cause there is no way they are going to let him sulk alone and blame himself.

Probably at some point between here and Japan Alex says out loud that if he loses his seat he is out of a seat fully. Like liminal space 3am in someone else's hotel room spilling your biggest secret vibes at that moment. And because I like my ferrari!Alex agenda Charles knows more than anyone else and knows that Ferrari is lowkey shopping around for a new driver and throws Alex into the mix.

(*no I do not known what happens to Carlos and I intend to fully ignore Lewis to Ferrari. I love both of them but I also have an agenda when it comes to fic and I want Alex out of rbr by the end of this

Mind you all throughout this Logan and Alex keep getting closer/becoming better friends. At some point Logan has a mini gay crisis over Alex maybe?? Idk. George is still very protective but lays off after Singapore because realistically that's when Alex could've dropped off the face of the Earth if he wanted to and he didn't.

Logan's first points happen in Austin just like they do irl, Alex by that point cares about Logan a lot because they are genuinely good friends. He probably drags Logan out to celebrate because sure its a P10 (or maybe P9. Idk...) but its first points that deserves to be celebrated.

George catches onto the whole thing, shovel talks Alex a bit because don't he dare hurt Logan knowingly or otherwise. He does however also acknowledge that Alex already had several chances to simply not do anything and that he is genuinely trying but at the same time the message Alex responded to was lowkey a last hail mary and he probably would've given up on trying to get back in touch after that.

Somewhere between Mexico and Vegas -ish the whole Alex to Ferrari becomes more or less a sure thing. For Alex its a way out of Redbull with grace and he cannot go much lower than Max as far as teammates go so there is nowhere to go from here but up. And because Alex and/or Charles cannot for the love of god shut up obviously the rest of Twitch Quartet + Oscar and Logan find out about the move. This finally really stops George from being an overprotective well meaning cause Alex is actively trying his best.

Anyway season ends as usual, AD is mostly the same but Logan gets points because I said so. Everyone else does have a good AD/season in general either way and Alex will have a better seat next season so celebrations are in order. Logan and Alex kiss at some point insert happy ending here except for George because now his sorta maybe again best friend is very successfully romancing his mentee little sibling figure and something in him dies that day. It will be okay George I promise.

[wild-at-mind]

cn mental health talk, queer community discourse

I don’t have depressive episodes in the sense that some people describe them- they seem to be heavily associated with loss of the ability to take care of yourself physically in today’s discourse about mental health. E.g. not being able to get out of bed, wash and eat. I have experienced that before in my life but the most common kind of depressive episodes I get are periods of extensive self loathing connected to online politics and how I fit into them. During these times my emotions become uncontrollable and very painful to have. I often have conversations with loved ones during these times that could be considered ‘begging for value’. Or maybe begging to be seen as a worthwhile person. I feel like leftist, queer, radical circles filter through my mind in this endless, sick swirl, where you must form your individual identity into the most impressive and perfect it can be. Sometimes it seems like the most radical thing is to not participate in society and to be outside of it (maybe in a trans separatist commune of some kind). Sometimes it seems like the pain and suffering someone has gone through is the most important, with the suffering of oppressed groups almost fetishised in a rather religious way, while those who are in privileged groups must reveal their traumatic experiences to show their experiences of suffering. Sometimes it seems like the most radical is to pick a section of the LGBTQ community to turn on and be cruel to, sometimes ignoring the historical context of sections of that community’s history (sections of the community with longer and more documented historys are at a disadvantage here). Sometimes it seems like your personal sex life is the site of radicalness- whether the sex you have is kinky enough to upset normative society with your queerness, whether you have enough partners (increasing your personal value with more partners= a v radical idea), and the amount you feel comfortable sharing about it will be seen as reflective on your stance on purity politics. In case you can’t tell, absolutely none of that is real. This is just what is going through my mind in a constant loop when I’m having an episode. These episodes can be waited out, and they all end in time, but during them every minute feels like agony. Sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin. But the truth is, it may not be real what my brain does with the input I get, but also these ideas are being hinted at and gestured at often on online radical queer leftist spaces. Sometimes as responses to something else, sometimes just as an idea someone had. Many people are unbothered by any of this, but some are affected. I have seen it said that in today’s world of the internet being the supposed front line of activism (it isn’t, but it can seem like that a lot), people are fighting really hard to be accepted in online communities that may be extremely judgemental and have very harsh social penalties for even slight disagreement. These places aren’t a substitute for close connection with real people who you know, care about and befriend. (IRL is my preference but you can meet people you know like this online too, in a more individual connection.) Becoming a member of a small, local LGBTQ community meetup group in my town has been so good for me, and has changed my life for the better. They accept me, and that’s not something I’ve felt very often (longterm social difficulties going back to childhood, yaay). But just a few minutes in the wrong place online, I start mentally stressing out about whether these people who I care about are radical and disruptive enough to the ‘system’ or whatever, and my carefully built up mental resources fall down and then I’m spiralling. tldr I guess: maybe radical leftist queer people should focus less time on carefully policing each other’s radicalness, both inherent and expressed. It’s cruel and it does hurt people

[noxexistant]

I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS ON MODERN/INFLUENCER AU. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

-someone who shouldn’t be on his phone bc he’s at work

i am a suckerrrr for modern/influencer aus, and i LOVE yours. this probably won’t follow it exactly because my brain unfortunately cannot work like that but just know that all your ideas and posts about it are fantastic and i owe you my life

(also, what could be more worth being on your phone at work for than this?)

this is going to be very disjointed and chaotic but i have Many Ideas. first of all, you having the delanceys as mma fighters? genius. everything to me.

they left their one and only “real home” as kids when they were removed from their dad’s care, and they’ve never had one since - moving between foster homes, care facilities, hospitals, juvenile detention centres, and now they live between hotel rooms and brief apartment stays. their only sense of stability is each other. their idea of “settling down” is staying in one airbnb for a few months if they’re on break or have an opportunity to fight on contract somewhere. they always sleep in the same room, which most people think is strange, but, for their whole childhood, being apart - particularly while asleep - meant danger, and oscar can never trust that morris is safe unless he can see him, unless he’s close enough to reach out and touch. even when they’re in the same room, on bad nights they’ll end up in the same bed, just like when they were kids.

they started training when they were frankly far too young to, when a worker at some facility they were in wanted to try and channel their violence into something more productive. he thought it might stop them from being violent outside of the ring. instead, it just sharpened them, and suddenly oscar isn’t getting into scraps to defend his brother so much as he’s utterly destroying anyone who even looks at him wrong. the worker hoped fighting might help morris express himself, open him up more, but now he’s just silent and cold as he trains or fights. still doesn’t speak to anyone but oscar.

they met jack in the refuge when they were kids. they didn’t get along then, and still resent each other to this day - people on social media are curious about the apparent feud and how it might’ve started, since jack won’t talk about any part of his childhood before medda adopted him on any of his platforms, and neither of the delanceys will talk about anything other than fighting in interviews. morris still rarely talks at all.

jack’s a general social media presence. he started out posting art, but as he got more popular he found the confidence to start posting himself more too - dumb videos, vlog types, the process of him making his art. he’s open about the fact that he was adopted as a kid, but won’t talk about his experiences before that. he says he only wants to focus on all the positives of how his family is now, and posts frequently with his brothers, race and crutchie. (also, there’s definitely twitter discourse about crutchie’s nickname and sense of humour about his own disability. which he thinks is equally hilarious and absurd.) he tries to be private about it when he starts dating davey, fearing the reaction and kind of wanting to keep davey for himself, but it doesn’t last long. they start posting together constantly.

albert being a streamer in the style of punz - he mainly games, he’s deadpan and funny and stupid in a way he utterly denies, and knows he is very thirsted after. people are always begging for face cam and hand cam. he does irl stuff every so often too, especially messing around with his friends (the usual gang). they’ve done disney/universal streams and stuff, and fairly frequently do cooking/baking streams. albert did some mma/adjacent training as a kid to deal with his own sort of anger issues stemming from family issues, and he does the creator clash type stuff - boxing matches between online personalities, sometimes including actual mma fighters. he’s met the delanceys too, before they were them, and he and them are all too eager to fight each other again. the delanceys think albert (and other streamers/creators doing creator clash type stuff) are pathetic and make a mockery of their legitimate sport. albert couldn’t care less, he just likes fighting.

finch streams too. he’s more of a cryptid - no face cam or anything, pretty mediocre mic quality, constant pc problems, but he’s popular anyway for solely his personality and playing skills - and he and albert have this mutual sort of quiet distaste until they end up meeting through some event (mcc or twitch rivals or minecraft monday or something) and then they’re streaming together all the time. people love the dynamic of albert earnestly saying stupid shit and finch deadpan playing along. they’ve done a couple streams reading, like, wattpad fics shipping the two of them.

(finch meets morris and oscar when albert has an arranged fight with oscar. he’s a deeply private person, even with albert really, but he immediately realises he’s got way too much in common with these two. he ran away from his abusive home at an early age and got bounced around the care system until it finally spat him out. he’s worked his ass off since to get his GED - he’s smart, he just never had any chance.

finch also promptly realises that morris has very limited education on top of his apparent neurodivergence and developmental disability, and sees that he can’t really read or write. oscar does pretty much everything, including all the talking.

while oscar and albert are preparing for their fight, finch sets about seeing if he can maybe build some sort of bond with morris.)

[haruhey]

Hey Haru! I’ve seen a lot of Abbi’s posts about the Discord server you’re apparently on!!? I was just wondering Do you guys talk to each other outside of Discord?? IDK if I should join or not cos Im super easily intimidated and scared that you guys talk to each other outside of the chat. I dont want to b like awkward or anything cos of that 😭🤣😅

sup anon

if you're thinking about whether to join the chat or not, i say do it. we get up to a lot of shenanigans, mischief, hijinks, rascality, monkey business and tomfoolery there. abbi would probably like to have some daryl attracted people there (i've hit a slump keep it a secret thanks).

i don't really talk to anyone on the discord outside of the go, so you're okay about that !! the only exception is @dxrylswalker / @weretheones bc i met them like irl a couple of times. it’s also not bc any of them are unfriendly or unwelcoming or anything its just cause i can’t carry a conversation to save my life so 😂🤣😂🤣😂

but yeah, join the gc if you want! and anyone who wants to join go to @theteasetwrites and beg on ur hands and knees

edit: we also have passionate sex once in a while its very passionate very sexual

[msfbgraves]

So Daniel did not “present” like a “proper” omega on his wedding night…did Terry wish he did, or did he like that his boy was defiant enough not to? I have this crack image in my head of Daniel stiffly walking to Terry, pulling off his hot little number and then standing there with his hands on hips telling Terry to hurry up and get the sexy times over with. Terry is more than taken aback…lmao. Anyway, was the first time Daniel presented for Terry when he shared his first Heat with the man? Begging for scraps of that scene 😈🔥

You may get it or may not get it but for me 'presenting' is not necessarily going 'face down, ass up', more a secondary gender confirmation. Sure, an omega may offer themselves that way to people, but surely, not outside of a heat? I can't see an Alpha expecting an omega who is not in heat to do that, not unless they know each other very well and have had a lot of talk about what they're into. And even during 'regular' sex, on your wedding night? With a teenager who is practically a virgin? I'm sure they read taboo bodice rippers in this verse as well, but irl...? Nah. I don't see anyone expecting that.

Same that if Daniel had done what you suggest, Terry would have assumed that Daniel was playing tough because he was terrified out of his mind. He's seen young boys and girls in his crew do that when introduced to him. He usually smiles and hands them some candy (the look on their faces, ha!) but were this Daniel, I think he'd simply hug him and put him in his lap. Maybe tuck him into bed with a goodnight kiss. He certainly would have gone a lot slower with a kitty that frightened.

He may be a monster but he's not a brute.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

HI HELLO, I've never written before 👋 but I'm a fan of your writing (🫶) and this type of convo always got me feeling things 💀 The "higher than thou" attitudes around smut needs to go! Read smut without shame. Or don't. It's ok to like different things. We're all different in many ways, and that is okay 👌

To judge others based on their sexual preferences or smut reading, or where they are on the rough or kinky scale, IS SO SILLY, IMMATURE, AND SAD 🧐

YES on "not being into rough sex doesn't equal not kinky" (or not more kinky than your BDSM/rough-loving moots/friends). There's one of 'em right here 👋 as you I am, sadly, also traumatised by bullying and can't handle being roughed up or degraded, but I'm kinky and sure as f not prude, boring or bad 😇

I don't remember who, but a fic writer said something like "I hope you know you don't need to deep-throat to make someone feel satisfied 👀" which is 100% true, like don't underestimate how easy it can be to please a person with a dick lmao (/ said affectionately and respectfully). Don't ever force yourself to go rough/read rough smut if it's not your thing and don't feel bad about it 🩷

Reading smut can really be helpful for people traumatised by bullying, shame culture or w/e. I too almost "flied off the edge" as you said, and various life experiences and upbringing made anything related to sex and intimacy in any form was ruined, traumatic and shameful until adulthood 🙃

Luckily I found some good peni- I mean peeps to help me open up. BUT SMUT?! Literally work therapeutically for me, and has been more rewarding and effective in some areas that irl experiences has or could not be 🤷 I'm sure others can relate. 100/10 stars, recommend.

The ff community is such a big spectrum of people in the sense of why or what we read or write. We got many late bloomers figuring shit out, experienced ones, poly's, married monogamous ones, asexual-spectrum and everything in between who may not engage in anything like it at all outside of this space.

We have a space where people can enjoy things on their own terms, talk with each other freely about things they might never be able irl, and have moots/community with purely smut reader/writers!

And I think that's really neat actually, and if anybody wanna fuck it up for us I will woop their ass 😤💖

(this was a lot, I beg your pardon 👉👈)

Hello @ddeonghwassimp

Firstly, before I respond to this lovely ask (thank you for sending this ask, it's beautiful. )

But I read your Bang Chan fic and it was so soft and beautiful, it was really sweet and comforting to read and you wrote such a great piece for your first ever fic.

You did really well *clap clap*

The audacity for you to take my words and use them as ammo (I'm kidding, I forgot I had written that so thanks for reminding me).

I don't remember who, but a fic writer said something like "I hope you know you don't need to deep-throat to make someone feel satisfied 👀" which is 100% true, like don't underestimate how easy it can be to please a person with a dick lmao (/ said affectionately and respectfully). Don't ever force yourself to go rough/read rough smut if it's not your thing and don't feel bad about it 🩷

But srsly everyone, you don't need too deep-throat and it can be very dangerous if done incorrectly.

I was at support group and expressing my insecurity in wondering if my 'performance' is going to be good on the first go.

And one of the ladies said that if you are enthusiastic, enjoying the pleasure and are vocal about what makes you feel good, then that's all you need to make the experience a great one for both of you.

Which I feel was great advice and helped me feel better about worrying about my performance.

Luckily I found some good peni- I mean peeps to help me open up. BUT SMUT?! Literally work therapeutically for me, and has been more rewarding and effective in some areas that irl experiences has or could not be 🤷 I'm sure others can relate. 100/10 stars, recommend.

Smut is so therapeutic but also so educational in understanding what you enjoy, even just physical things like putting a pillow under your hips will help with g-spot penetration and putting a drop of lube in the tip of a condom can create less friction and heighten the sensation with a barrier.

And this will gives us late bloomers more confidence when we experience our first time because we know our kinks already.

I completely agree with the rest of what you're saying and the smut community is such a tight-knit group and I have met such cool people.

Hate comments absolutely offer no solution when the easiest thing you can do is scroll.

[god-sent-gender-bent]

This.

I'm begging young queers to hop offline for just a minute and go talk to actual IRL queer people. If me saying "Go talk to IRL queer people" makes you uncomfy, that's the first sign that you need to go do just that. The Internet is wonderful for meeting friends and exploring your gender and sexuality, but please remember that you are a real person and so is everyone else. And real life queer folk aren't easily out into neat little tags or categories like online.

Relationships and sexuality and gender are black and white. People like labels to categorize things. To help understand the world around them-- but real life is more like a spider web than a binary line. And it's beautiful that way. But trying to police people's relationships and their supports is exactly what The Straights(tm) do. Pride is about demanding the right to exist freely, whatever that may look like.

Also a separate tangent: LISTENNNNN to your queer elders. Yes that means the 30 year old millennial you call cringe. Yes that means the 50 year old POC drag queens and leather daddies. There's SO much queer history to be learned. And I'm SO, SO glad young queer kids have it a little easier than I did, and that they don't have to worry about things like not getting married or not being able to hold your loved one's hand in a hospital while they pass away-- but that doesn't mean you can sit in your bubble and disrespect the people that paved the way for you.

People in my generation had to figure a lot of our identities out on our own. Why? Because AIDS wiped out our elders. Our history. We had to try to recollect our history and our vocabulary and yeah, make some shit up as we went. So if you see older people calling themselves queer, dyke, faggot, and yes, tranny: mind your business. Those words have been in our history forever and have been reclaimed, and you'd know that if you talked to any queer person over the age of 30.

Anyway, I may sound curmudgeony, but I'm tired of 14 year old kids telling me I can't call myself queer because it's a slur. I won't censor my identity because there's nothing wrong with me. I'm a big, fat, loud queer. Go outside, touch some grass, and talk to some of your queer elders. You can learn a LOT.

There are two basic arguments for shutting the fuck up about cishets at Pride.

First: What if a trans kid asks their parents to show their support by attending Pride with them? What if a lesbian can only attend pride if she gets a ride from someone and the only person willing and able to drive her is her straight brother? What if a bi disabled person can't attend a large outdoor event without hands-on assistance from their straight partner? What if someone just wants to bring their fucking friends? What if, contrary to popular tumblr discourse, most queers don't inhabit perfectly pure social bubbles populated only by other queers? What if it's none of your business?

Second and perhaps more important: If you think you can tell that someone is CIS, let alone HET, by LOOKING at them, you are a cop and an idiot.

[mrplantfr]

Hiiii, I'm back from the dead finally! I was busy dealing with stuff I don't really feel comfortable talking about, but, I'm gonna try to keep posting again. Anyways, I think its about time I made a little boundary post so that I can (hopefully) not deal with stuff I'm uncomfortable with? I've been gone long enough, and, I don't want to have to do that again. At least for the time being. Okay, yeah, enough yapping. :)

• I am not okay with making friends or speaking with people online in general. If I don't know you IRL, please don't try to start conversations. I'm not saying I think people will, im saying it just in case. The idea makes me uncomfortable and nervous, so I beg of you: DO NOT try to start conversation w/ me.

• On the contrary, I'm okay with requests :3!! Please, if you have something you would like to see me post- (or course not NSFW)- I'm okay with getting ideas from others!! I would really appreciate it! I mostly do writing, headcanons, rants and plan on posting art on here at some point! So if you have any ideas for me that you might want to see me do, I would be more than happy to do the ones I'm interested in! But if I just don't do yours- Please don't harass me -_-`

• Please don't comment or talk to me about NSFW things. (S3x, SA, 🍇, dr--s, venting, trauma, religion, etc.) I don't feel okay talking about stuff with people I'm not close with!! Look, if I know you outside of social media and I trust you- Sure! But if this is the one place you know of me or we're just not friends, please, for the love of gosh, DON'T talk to me about it!!! (I'm okay with gore though, but yk. Just the weapons kinda stuff, yk the topics B3)

• okay, this one is pretty obvious, but no private info. I don't want to share mine, I don't want to know yours. I think we can all understand the picture im trying to paint, so, I'll just leave it at that.

***IF YOU ARE GOING PAST MY BOUNDARIES, DON'T BE SURPRISED IF I BLOCK YOU!!***

Anyhow, thats all I'm saying today. Bye bye :).