#begging everyone to go listen to this song
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the night falls like heaven
ă âŠnam-gyu/reader ⊠ă tags: sfw // hurt/comfort, pining, nam-gyu's pov, lots of angst in an edgy way, very light drxg mentions,
a/n:Â this'll be a 2 part mini series! so excited to get this started ugh tysm to anon who requested this word count:Â 9.2k | songs i listened to (x) (x) original request (x)
ă»â„ă»Nam-gyu was not a man of many regrets.Â
If he had to count, he could fit them all on one hand. Mostly from when he was a teen. Younger and somehow even more impulsive than he was now, drinking through money like water and getting into fights heâd never remember. The worst of them all, however, was one he hadnât thought would really eat at him. It was unlike himself to get hung up over a girl of all things, but good lord, he was hanging. Strings and all, like a marionette, bleeding and sore at the joints.Â
Tough to swallow couldnât even compare to the feeling of when that specific regret suddenly pops up in the same room after years of abandon. If he hadnât been so down bad, the sight of you would have only ruffled up his feathers enough to remind him of a better time, but in Godâs honest eyes, those feathers of his had been ruffled since the dawn of the very instant you left. The door hadnât even had a chance to hit you on your way out, nothing but dust and tears in your wake. He was stuck fast, left to his own devices, bouncing between wondering why he let it go so bad and whilst also begging God himself to make you stop being such a bitch.Â
But the worst part, the worst part is that even now you still carry this aura of over it all around you. Self-respect colliding with the want to be loved was never an easy tango to dance, all steps just pulling and pushing and trying to snuff out useless feelings and red hot passion. But you twirled until he did what he did best and nudged you to the brink of your breaking point. All that sweet, sweet adoration drained from your face and he saw it- dignity. He saw it on you on your way out of his apartment, storming past him with biting tears in your eyes. And now, years later, he gets to see it again from across the room.
Youâre sitting on a high, high bunk youâve claimed as yours, people watching. Other than the initial moment youâd seen him in the bubble of people, you haven't bothered sparing him a second glance. It was a beautiful moment- your eyes widening, stopped dead in your tracks before you were on the move all over again. Heâs sneaking glances through the corners of his eyes, watching you over his shoulder, and you canât even give him another second of your day. And the thing that really bothers him is that he knows he canât stop.Â
Out of everyone in this room, your distant presence is a fiery beacon in the darkness and heâs an angry, bitter moth. Itâs in his very nature to circle and flutter one step behind, seeking the light, burning at its touch. Singed wings and an endless sneer. If only he could just stop touching the heat, he would surely move on. But he just canât, and the fact that you can pisses him off so much it makes him lose his breath at times.Â
He wished, with the very core of his entire being, that you were weaker. Or, at least, stupider. Maybe then you would have lived up to his expectations and showed up to his door, or at his club, teary eyed and lonely without his superior presence around. He could see it behind his eyes at night, the waver in your voice when youâd beg him to come back into your arms, and more importantly, back into your bed.Â
I told you so, heâd say, with that shit eating grin and a hand on your waist guiding you out from the cold.
A forlorn, guideless sheep in need of your shepherd. He could be that for you. If only the word boyfriend didnât make him shudder with every last fiber of his being. If only that specific little thing wasnât your breaking point. Your face haunted him- that halo around your irises fading into something far away and charred when heâd had the nerve to actually laugh at you for it. You were grabbing your things and leaving, and he sat watching every moment in clips. It wasnât anything, back then. You were just mad, in a few days youâd be right as rain climbing into his lap and peppering kisses along his throat. Youâd be back, he was sure of it.Â
But then the days turned into weeks. And then, to his distaste, those weeks faded into months of silence. He started to catch himself looking for you in crowds, visiting places youâd frequented at just to linger around like an awkward ghost in case he spotted you through the shifting crowds. But you were gone- vanished.
Fine. Youâll never see me again, asshole.Â
Those words had been etched into the very walls of his cranium since theyâd left your lips in a scathing hiss. Such nasty words, but they shook with every consonant.Â
Among your pride was a healthy blend of honesty. You had been true to your word- he really did never see you again. Wiped your slate spotless of anything Nam-gyu.
And it drove him fucking crazy. It made him sick to his stomach in a way he did not think was possible. It was out of control- he couldnât stop thinking about you, you, you. He missed you more than he didnât, and he was angrier at himself than heâd like to admit. So instead of admitting, he funnels all that anger into the very shape of you. Drags in the idea of you, his memories of you and shoves them down, down, down, until he truly did think he hated you, after all.Â
Until heâs clenching his fist so tight heâs drawing blood and telling himself heâs better off now, without some whining bitch in his ear begging him to stick that boyfriend pin into the thinness of his skin. Thinks that without you hanging on his arm all the damn time, he could really go out and have some fun. He thinks, and he thinks and he thinks until heâs thought too much and suddenly he loves you again and he misses you so bad itâs crushing him under the sheer weight of your absence.Â
So, Nam-gyu does what Nam-gyu does best once again, and he drowns himself out with the bitter taste of drugs on his tongue and the sear of alcohol in his blood.Â
It all stops.
For a time, anyway.Â
You always found ways to seep back into his mind one way or another. Songs that would only make it a second in before he was mashing the skip button. A tv show youâd watched together surviving on the screen roughly a whole minute before itâs switched off. Sometimes it was when he saw something he knew youâd like- a shitty video or meme. Other times you came to him in whispers while he laid out on his own living room floor, out of his mind watching the blank ceiling above him twist and writhe under his spotty vision with a needle poking out of his arm.Â
But, most times⊠Most times you would slither your way to the forefront of his mind just before bed. The touch of you, the smell of you.Â
The shape of you underneath him. Hands and quiet breaths. He could still hear the noises you made ringing in his ears, stored away in his memories just to taunt him when he was indisputably alone. Soft skin, even softer thighs. Always so warm, and so wet. So willing. You would come to him while he curled over himself in bed, drunk on porn and memories.Â
And afterwards, when Nam-gyu had finished, he would throw his head back onto his pillow and ignore the way it felt like there was a lump in his throat. And that would piss him off even more, because fuck, you should be there with him. Laying by his side running your hands through his hair until heâs falling asleep balancing on the fine line of afterglow and dozing off.Â
But you arenât. Youâre doing fuck all with who knows in places heâs never been to, places you probably begged him to go but he couldnât even remember the name of. You hadnât answered a single one of his texts, you hadnât picked up a single call and everytime he hears the first couple seconds of your stupid voicemail he wants to crush his phone in his hands. Vexation was a slippery slope into the fires of fury- rage was like a parasite under his skin, eating away at what little rational thinking he had.Â
Voicemail after voicemail. Text after ignored text. Anger was the hardest stage- rage grew horns on the crown of his head and it turned him into something he couldnât recognize. Or, something he refused to recognize- desperate and heartsick.Â
It was supposed to be you. Not him.Â
He filled the endless gaps of you with drugs often and women when he could. For a short time it would work and he would wonder why he ever let someone else get him so, so low. But then the drugs would wear off. The random woman in his room that he never bothered to learn the name of would grab her clothes and saunter out the door. He stopped letting them stay the night. He could never sleep, stared at the ceiling until 5am wondering why he still felt like shit. He would be right back where he started, sitting on the couch, staring at the door watching you leave over and over again. Â
You stopped updating your socials, quit hanging out with the few people that bounced between his and your crowd, successfully scrubbed him of your life entirely. After a year, he resorted to asking around if anyone had seen you. The answer, as always, was a firm no. It was a corrosive feeling, a constant churn and thrum within the cage of his ribs. It made him even more unrecognizable to himself. Made him invite women into his lap just to shove them away when they didnât smell like you, or sound like you. Or laugh like you.
It had been so, so perfect before. It was fun, and it was hot all the time, and sex with you felt like heaven was a place on earth. Why couldnât you see that? Why did you have to go and ruin it with your words and pleading eyes? Nam-gyu doesnât roll like that. You knew that. Heâs a free spirit, he tells himself. No chains, no labels. No holding him down. Even if it was at the feet of this gorgeous, gorgeous body and a honey sweet voice that just always seemed to know what to say. Beautiful eyes that always watched, a smile so saccharine, whispering words against his ear so dirty it made him shiver just to think about.Â
The world was too vast to be held down.Â
But, truth be told, he was held down.Â
He is held down.Â
When you walked out of his apartment those years ago, he never left that spot, chewing his nails and anxiously spinning the ring on his finger, watching you go. He started seeing it behind his eyes. Replays it, changes the course, wonders where heâd be right now if heâd just said something different.Â
Finding you at the games was like divine intervention. It had to be. Some higher power had crossed his path and plopped you right in front of him. With rolling eyes and a deadpan stare at anything except for him, sure but you were there and you weren't going anywhere anytime soon. God had heard his drug induced prayers of stupor.Â
Now it was all about waiting. Waiting for the right moment to dive in and recapture you within him and heâd be right back to drinking you in at every chance he had. Heâd do it differently this time, do it right so youâd cling to him and wonder why you ever wanted to leave at all. Make you wonder why you were so stupid to have been so stubborn when everything you could ever need was in the palm of your hand. He was sure of it. That strong, bullheaded expression would blitz is something vulnerable in his hands. A lurch of excitement riveted under his skin among the nerves.Â
For now, he waits, and watches. Your presence could never go unnoticed by his dark eyes.Â
Itâs unfortunate for him that Thanos takes a notice to you, too. Itâs hard not to, really, when every time he follows Nam-gyuâs locked line of sight it always leads back to you- this little sweet thing perched up at the peak of the bunks alongside the back, watching the room with this bored stare between mundane yapping with other players.Â
âSomeone you know?â Thanosâs voice had this subtle drip to it, this underlining excitement that Nam-gyu picks up on almost instantly. His expression stays cool, mostly uninterested despite the way he canât seem to pry his eyes away from you even as he answers.
âYeah.â
âWho is she?â
And then heâs stuck. Because his mouth opens for a split second to say, my ex, but he canât quite say that, now can he? But he also canât say an old friend either, because you simply werenât. What you two had was something else entirely- a new plane he struggled to navigate, lovely when things were good, a hellscape when they weren't. The lines were always so blurred, fuzzy with sex and warm laughter.
He decides on something mostly true. âSomeone I used to hang out with.â
âGirlfriend?â Thanosâs brow raises with his chirp, leaning forward with clear interest.Â
âNo.â It comes out quick- too quick, and too heavy. Tinged venom with more baggage than even he could handle at times. Thanos catches it on impact and whistles.Â
âI see. So you wonât care if I go chat her up? Hm?âÂ
âDonât bother. Sheâs not like that.â Nam-gyuâs scoffs before he can stop himself, this unsettling seed of jealousy planting itself in his chest.Â
âHm⊠I guess weâll see, huh?â
Youâre dismounting from your bed and climbing onto the stairs when Thanos jumps to his feet, and Nam-gyu can already feel that itchy panic starting to blotch away at his skin. His hands, his cheeks. That seed takes its place within him bearing vicious roots.Â
âMan, donât bother,â Heâs touching at Thanosâs sleeve, his shoulder, anywhere he can to try and gather his friendâs attention. âShe can be kind of a bi-â
All it takes is a swat to Nam-gyuâs chest to stop him dead in his tracks, words dying his throat. Shut down, watching his friend take quick steps to you, Nam-gyu following close behind to witness. If only he could be firmer, never demanding, always suggesting. Always rolling over and showing his soft underbelly at Thanosâs whim. Instead, he lets his lips press into a tight line and letâs it all happen right before him.Â
Youâre on the bottom step and taking a seat, and you see the rapper approaching before he gets a word in, but your eyes skip over him entirely and settle onto Nam-gyuâs. Distress is building in his muscles, but heâs making damn sure to keep himself in check.Â
âWhatâs a pretty girl like you doing all alone? You want a friend?â
Up closer now, sharing your space, he sees all the things heâd been missing so deeply throughout the years. You still look just as he remembered- still bearing this expression of bemused coolness, still having these all seeing eyes that seemed to cut right through him.Â
âA friend?â you hum, and your voice threatens to pull him in like gravity. âYou wanna be my friend?â
If jealousy could sprout through his skin, itâd be an ugly beast of horns and claws. But it canât, so instead, it takes shape in the way Nam-gyuâs eyes are flicking between yours and the rappers, hands wrapped up in his sleeves.Â
âStick with me, yeah? I promise to keep you safe. My number one priority.â And Thanos is patting his chest, flashing those painted nails. Makes Nam-gyuâs chest tighten, his stomach growing sicker by the second.Â
Damn, you can see it, too. Thereâs no denying the way heâs cringing behind that distant smirk, and he doesnât think to hide the way heâs twisting his rings on his fingers. When you click your tongue, he knows what's coming.Â
âStick with you, hm⊠Sorry, but I try to work alone. Partnerâs tend to, how do I sayâŠâ Those eyes of your slice through him all over again, honing into him when you finish your sentence. âDisappoint me.â
Fuck. Disappointment. Oh god, how that sears into Nam-gyuâs skin. The way you look the rapper up and down, visually sizing him up, would make his heart leap into his throat if he were under that same scrutiny. He never understood how you could always be this intense with such a sweet, sweet face. Kindness was certainly a luxury and he missed it, that never ending fire that kept him warm.
âI can change that for you,â Thanos sings. âIâm a legend here for a reason.â
âLegend? Iâve never heard of you.â Your brows raise in amusement.Â
âYou will. Thanos.â He puffs his chest out and nods, a half cocked grin playing over his lips. âGuyâs like me, we donât disappoint.â
The man actually finds the nerve to reach down and pluck your hand, bringing his knuckles to his lips. Nam-gyu feels red hot scorching through his face but heâs locked in place, watching it like a car crash. Relieved when you yank your hand free and shove it into your jacketâs pocket. Itâs the only good thing out of this entire interaction, he finds, especially so when Thanosâs smirk falters into a tight surprised line.Â
âDonât go and do all that. Guyâs like you will always disappoint me.â You lean back against the wall of the step, vexation evident over your features. âHow about you talk to me again after the next game, yeah? Maybe Iâll feel different. Thanos.â
You always were so good at slamming the door in people's faces, always brought Nam-gyu joy to witness you shut down the advances of some poor loser trying to gain your affections. Thanos knows heâs been hung out in the cold, too. Barking up the wrong tree in the wrong neighborhood in the wrong country. So, he takes a loose step backwards and shrugs.Â
âYour loss.â He sighs, and Nam-gyu follows him all the way back to his bunk in brooding silence.Â
Wringing his fingers, he canât help himself when casts a glance over his shoulder to find you one last time before youâre obscured behind metal frames and moving bodies. When he does, he feels a rush of heat in his cheeks when youâre already stuck fast staring right back, watching him go. Heâs silent when he sits down at his little corner of the dormitory, silent when Gyeong-su is harping praises at Thanos. Silent, even, when Thanos says heâs determined to bring you to his side of the map.Â
However, he noticeably tenses when Thanos mutters, âWhat a babe, huh? I should go visit her after lights out.â
Almost immediately thereâs hands on his shoulders, pushing and nudging him, demanding his attention. The deepest of sighs leaves the rapper, ducking his head to find Nam-gyuâs eyeline.Â
âCome on, man. Donât be pissed, itâs in my nature, boy. Be honest. You into her?â
âMe and herâŠâ Nam-gyu swallows. âWe used to mess around.â
âLucky you.â Thanosâs is shoving Nam-gyuâs shoulders again. âYou cut her lose?â
No, she cut me loose. But Nam-gyu canât bring himself to say that, the words lost and barred at the tip of his tongue. In the silence, Thanos takes it as confirmation.Â
âThatâs so cold. If I had her, Iâd never let her out of my sight. Sheesh.â
Nam-gyu canât even form words at all, anymore, irritation and envy wrapping tendrils around his throat and snuffing him out. Your earlier words spin through his brain like a carousel- come find me after the next game. Were you being serious? Were you just saying that to mess with him? He knows you- he knows your tone better than he even realizes, but he suddenly canât decipher whatâs honesty and what isnât anymore. Jealousy blinds him, thick lenses leading him in all sorts of binds.Â
He should have talked to you. He should have made the first move and made sure the first time he was breathing your air was alone. Now heâs anxious, heâs resentful, and heâs humiliated for some reason he canât quite place. It doesn't help when he canât resist the urge to look at you one last time, just one for the road, and youâre chatting idly with a man lounging on the other side of the steps youâre currently sitting on. Thereâs a five foot gap between your bodies but Nam-gyu doesnât care- the anger that rips through him is blind, you may as well have been fucking the man right in front of him.Â
Itâs all he can see, tunnel vision encompassing him all the way until the moment lines start to form for lunch. Stewing in his jealousy, a bitter taste blooming over his tongue, he doesnât jump in line because heâs got an appetite, but simply because you were rather eager to fill your belly. He tails you, matches every step and still has to jump out in front of a random player from taking the spot directly behind you.Â
You notice him with a fleeting look tossed over your shoulder, eyes darting from the corners of your eyes and then forward, still as a statue. Desperate to not interact.Â
Nam-gyu canât help himself.
âYou into Thanos?â
You audibly laugh at him, and the sound makes him shred the inside of his cheek.
âMaybe. Whatâs it to you?â
Everything. Itâs everything to me.Â
You look up at him over your shoulder, watching him through your thick lashes with scorn written all over those beautiful irises. Thereâs a flash image of you- a memory, tangled between the bedsheets, looking up at him with those gorgeous eyes and tear stained cheeks with his hand wrapped around your throat. Itâs quick but it hits him like a sucker punch right to the gut. He sucks in a sharp breath. He wants to touch you- he almost does, but the line moves forward a beat and youâre moving with it away from his hesitating fingers.Â
âIâm just asking.â Heâs trying to be coy, but you can see right through him.Â
âYou worried, Nam-gyu?âÂ
That hits him like a sucker punch too. Heâd forgotten how his name sounded on your tongue, how it rolled off so perfect and pretty even when you were pissed at him. Sometimes specifically when you were pissed at him, this bubbling anticipation running through him in waves, your passion always the spark lighting the fire in his belly.Â
âIâm not worried.â
âYou are.â Clocked him, again. Peered into the windows of him and saw that angry ocean of spite and regret behind his eyes. âI know you are. I can see it on you.â
âNot worried.â Nam-gyu shrugs, but he canât meet your eyes anymore.Â
Another sigh ghosts from your lips, but itâs quieter, defeated, almost.Â
âIâm not interested in your friend. Iâm not interested in anyone.â
And then, he says it. Quietly, as if he doesnât want you to truly hear.
â...You seemed interested.â
âSo you are worried.â Youâre crossing your arms and he stares down into your hair, shoving his hands into his pockets. âWhat if I was? You clearly had nothing to say about it. You were right there- you didnât tell him we had history? Or did I mean that little to you?â
Youâre mad. Holy shit, youâre still so mad at him. But then his brain scrambles to tell him the good side of things- anger is not indifference. So in some ways, maybe more than others, heâs still in that little dome of yours ratting around amongst your thoughts. Means that if he does this right, it would mean something to you to be better this time.Â
His lips press into a tight line. He should have talked to you, and now itâs biting him in the ass. It seemed like everything always bit him in the end. And he always let it happen, watched and never interfered. You drive the nail youâd plunged into him even deeper when you throw his words, from all those years ago, right back in his face. That last thing he had said to you before you, or the idea of you, had become a black hole.
âYou know what, Nam-gyu? What was it you had said? Oh- uh, why donât you focus on yourself and Iâll focus on me, yeah?â
It stings. It stings so bad that he physically recoils from the sound of his voice on your tongue, words spilling that just donât seem right coming from you. Bitter resentment rises in his throat, this reflexive coping mechanism to bite back overtaking his senses. He wants to say I shouldnât have said that. He wants to say, hear me out. But what ends up leaving him is just as ugly as the rest of his feelings.Â
âJesus. Youâre still a bitch.â
The very instance those words tumble from him, heâs already regretting it with every fiber of his being. Even more so when you pluck your bento box from the guard and spin on your heels to glare absolute daggers into the very pits of his soul.
âGet over yourself. Iâm glad we had this talk, it was very refreshing.â
This time he does jump to stop you, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. âJust listen-â
âNo.âÂ
He doesnât hide the way he watches you scamper off to your little ledge, hopping up onto your bed and enjoying your vantage point above all else, focusing on your meal. The man youâd been chatting with earlier is in the bed next to yours and thatâs just fucking great. The guard has to pry his stare off of you, and a bento box is practically shoved into his chest, urging him out of line.Â
Nam-gyu hates the stone anchoring in his guts. Almost as much as he hates how his appetite never quite returned. All food tasted the same when you left, nothing compared to what youâd used to make him.Â
The bento box was no different.Â
That night, sleep avoided him. There was something keeping him awake- buzzing under his skin no matter how many times heâd rolled over and shifted himself into a new position. Of course he knew what it was- it never really left him, after all. The fact of knowing you were across the room, all alone in your bed, was this incessant knock in the back of his skull tapping him back into reality whenever he found himself comfortable enough to doze off. His mind was stuck on you, as always, wondering what you looked like right now.Â
Did you sleep the same as before? Laying on your side, hair messed over the sides of your face and splayed over the pillow, those heavy lashes of yours kissing along the bone of your cheeks. He always told himself that it was you who was attached, that he was some great being and you simply touched the stars through him. How wrong he had been to think that, when the entire time heâd fit so perfectly against you, he a piece to your puzzle.Â
How wrong he had been, because when heâs staring up idly at the ceiling, he thinks of the better days in his life. Always, always, it was you. Thinking of you sitting pretty in his passenger seat, watching out the window as the world blurred by in rushes. The wind blowing through your hair, your necklace catching the glint of the sun. Youâd feel his eyes on you and you'd turn and smile at him so darling, so lovely, that he thought it could heal. Remembering when youâd walk into a room, shining like a beacon just for him. Youâd find his lap, find his hair, find his lips against your own and youâd cry his name like a prayer.Â
He was an idiot to have thought he was the something in the nothing- it was you.Â
Even when he finally drifted off into sleep were you still infecting the very membrane of his mind. In his dreams, you were just as warm as you had always been. Bated breaths, hanging onto every word that left his lips, fingers that longed to touch and stroke and feel. His heart slowed to a peaceful beat, and his body curled into his pillow and blanket, trying to recreate the shape of you in his arms. For a time that evening, it worked.Â
But then he woke up, and Thanos was leaning over his bed asking him if he was dead, and all those wonderful moments heâd relived were gone in a rush of bright lights and endless chatter bouncing off the walls of the dormitory. Like an addiction, the first thing he thought of when he sat up, was you. Thought about you all the way through the winding staircases and into a giant room with rainbowâs painted over the hard floor. So lost in thought that he almost misses it when the speaker starts instructing them- a 5 player minigame race.Â
Teams of five. Okay, he could do that. Easy. Gyeong-su, him, Thanos. That was already three.Â
Itâs natural instinct when he starts to search for you in the bubble of people, his fourth member, even though heâs more than sure youâre all too excited to send him packing. The way you had looked at him at dinner the day before, he wasnât sure if youâd even entertain a conversation with him at all, let alone join their team. But this is beyond an argument- beyond him trying and failing to lull you in, this is life and death.Â
âHey, thereâs your girl again.â Thanos spots you first. He follows Thanosâs line of sight and sure enough, there you are, standing with your hands shoved into your pockets with this far away expression he canât quite read.Â
His girl. It would make him shiver, if he wasnât already on the brink of tweaking.Â
âLetâs go see if sheâs changed her mind.âÂ
Thanos is running his hands through his hair and popping the collar of his tracksuit, a particular bounce to his step when he bounds right for you. Just as the first time, always on the lookout for yourself, you spot him coming before he gets to you. Already youâre annoyed.
By the time Nam-gyu slithers up beside him, youâre already turning Thanosâs first wave of advancements down, a snark to your tone and a glint in your eyes.Â
âIâm good, thanks though.â
Thanos blinks, looks left and then right. âYouâre good? I donât see a team?â
âIâll find one.â
âYou got one right here,â He pats his chest again, before he slings his arm over Nam-gyuâs shoulder haphazardly. âCome on. Youâll be safe.â
The intensity in which you roll your eyes is fierce- an expression Nam-gyu really had only thought he could draw out of you. To make matters worse for his friend, you donât even bother with saying no again. Instead you merely wave a dismissive hand and turn on your heels, meandering into the crowd.Â
âYou were right, Nam-su.â Thanosâs face drops and he unwinds his arm from Nam-gyuâs shoulder. âNot getting anywhere with that one.â
Nam-gyu is so focused watching you, that all he murmurs is, âItâs Nam-gyu.â
âYeah. Nam-su, Nam-gyu. Look over there.â He has to force himself to look away, following Thanosâs point in the other direction youâd gone. A girl with short black hair stands off to the side, eyes traveling and sizing up all her potential team mates. Thanos pops his collar again, a hound dog chasing a brand new scent. âLetâs go see what sheâs up to.â
For the first time, Nam-gyu doesnât follow him. He says, you go, you go, and lets Thanos wind himself up all on his own before watching him go. Heâs much more concerned with you and your team, this sense of anxiety starting to bud in his gut.Â
He finds you like a moth to flame. Your shoulders slump at the sight of him, tired and irked.Â
âNot this again.â You groan. âWhat, do you think youâre gonna come sweeten me up and Iâll say yes? Iâm not playing on your damn team.â
Nam-gyu shakes his head and steps in front of you when you try to turn away again. His nerves are on the rise, and so is his temper. You draw it out of him like nothing else, he canât stop himself.Â
âWhy not?â He asks, looking down at you with furrowed brows. You cross your arms, barring yourself from him.Â
âBecause Iâm not.â
âThis is no time to be stubborn. You donât know what the next game is. You might need guys on your team.â
âI plan on it. Thereâs other men here other than you and whatever the hell his name is.â
Other men. Nam-gyuâs mouth dries up, his fingers already wringing in his sleeves. His jaw tenses with his temper, teeth grinding.Â
You didnât need other men, not when he would do anything under the sun to keep you safe. Anyone else may just let you die. Canât you see that?Â
âWhy are you being-... Being like-...â He stops himself. Holy shit, his brain actually fires off the warning shot and he stops dead in his tracks staring at you in bewilderment. You adopt this expectant glare, a spiteful uptick to your lips that darkens your eyes.Â
âSay it.â You sneer. âGo ahead, say it. Iâm being a bitch, right?â
The word fights against his lips to get out. Youâre waiting for it, at the edge of your seat, fully ready to take it in and chew it up and spit it out right back at him. But he bites it back and he swallows it down into his chest because this means something to him. Because it might mean something to you.Â
âBeing like this.â He stammers. âIâm trying to keep you alive.â
Your eyes widen just a fraction. âKeep me alive?â
âCan you really trust anyone here? You know me.â
âI do know you.â A flash of something provoked and somber rivets within your eyes. Anger mounting, your heart colliding with your brain in real time right before him. âThatâs exactly why I wonât be on your side.â
If heâd had his foot in the door before, you were properly shoving it back outside. He doesn't know what to do, so he does the first thing he can think of as a creature of impulse, and unfortunately when it came to you that meant he was all hands.Â
âWait-â He catches you just as youâre turning away, tries to bulldoze over your defiance and smooth out all the harsh edges of your protests with the broad flats of his palms. Fingers clutching your tracksuit at your shoulders and then heâs realizing that heâs touching you for the first time in years. Your skin from underneath your jacket is just as warm he remembers, your eyes are just as doe-like at his touch too. Stubborn and ornery but overflowing with passion and static energy that settled into his bones. He needs it, he needs it. The obsession of you hits him in waves of yearn.Â
He needs you more than air, he thinks.Â
âGet your hands off of me, right now.â But you arenât tearing him away- so maybe thatâs progress.Â
âCome on.â He ducks his head, shoulders slumping, and it physically hurts him to feel this desperate. âStay with me.â
Oh, you donât like those words one bit. They hit your eardrums and your eyes narrow in slits, and then yeah, youâre reaching up and catching his wrists in his iron grip before ripping his paws off your jacket. It takes a long moment for you to speak, but when you do, he swears he can hear the devil amidst the heartache.Â
âYou know that I canât stay with you. Never again.â
His hands twitch to touch you again- anything to keep you there for a moment longer.Â
âCome on.âÂ
Sadness like pits swirl in your eyes, drags your lips into a frown. âYou gottaâ stop Nam-gyu. I canât do it.â
An awful, awful mass grows in his stomach when you turn your back on him. Gets bigger with every inch you build between you and him, threatens to take over entirely and swallow him whole right in the middle of that room. If it did, and he was to be gulped up by the void, perhaps he wouldn't have to feel like this any longer. And he wouldnât have to watch you disappear behind all the moving bodies.Â
He was weaker than he was three years ago. You made him weaker. Back then, if youâd been so sure of yourself he found it rather easy to deter you. A beastly way about him when he would have just ripped you by the hand and brought you over to his team and made you sit the hell down and just stay with him. Something possessive, something under his skin at the thought of you sharing the same air as anyone other than him. You used to be so malleable in his hands- but he knows, now more than ever, that that was truly never the case. You let yourself be pliable. You let yourself fall to him. He could never, not even now, make you do anything. Not really.Â
Thatâs the part that burns him to the peaks of his soul. That strength about you. Youâre so much stronger than him, with an energy iron so itâs like running headfirst into a wall when youâd no longer graced him with your softness. Such a double edged sword, that will of yours. That attitude and the passion made him feel alive. Cold and disposed after youâd properly slammed the gate right in his face. No leverage, no space for him in your heart any longer.Â
Itâs cold, Nam-gyu finds. Lonely without you.Â
And then Thanos goes and invites some random girl with a poor attitude (that isnât yours) and an even weaker buddy. He tries to tell him- remind his friend of the potential disadvantage but like always all it took was a dismissive wave to get him to screw his lips shut. Rolled over, tongue caught in his throat, weakened.Â
He spends a majority of his time waiting for his teams turn arguing with Se-mi and tossing gazes over his shoulder to keep a very keen eye on you, only to find a sneer growing on his features after seeing you chatting with the same player as earlier, the man with the bed next to yours. Laughter and smiles roll from your lips as natural as breathing air, and heâs nudging you with his arm and youâre letting him with this expression of pure amusement.Â
That should be him.Â
That ugly face of betrayal peeks through the cracks all over again, with guilt and anger and regret following in tow close behind. Sitting on his shoulders like little devils, spinning and racing through his body in waves. If you saw his face- youâd never suspect it, but his hands shake in his lap. His jaw tenses so tightly his teeth could burst into powder. Squared shoulders and an endless drag to his lips. Something in the sight of you enjoying that guys presence is reminding him of all these shitty feelings heâd been faced with when you two were together- well, no, not together, he remembers- and then heâs even angrier. Angry at you, angry at that random ass player you were talking up, angry at himself for letting it get here in the first place.Â
Thanos pops open his necklace beside him and draws a fun little pill from its contents, and Nam-gyu makes it a mission to get his hands on one of those sweet little pick-me-ups. The pill is bitter on his tongue but he swallows it down in delight. And it works, too, because the moment the colors start to glow and fuse together and all sounds become this echoing fishbowl of noises, youâre vacated from the corners of his fuzzy mind. For a time, heâs at peace all over again, lost in the blurry joy.Â
By the time he comes down, heâs already back in the dormitory.Â
Though it takes a moment for him to realize it, heâs taking inventory of all the surviving players. One by one, watching them fill the room and find their creaky beds or their little groups. Most were distraught, though some were particularly perturbed. It takes a couple teams before he understands that what heâs really looking for, naturally, is you. Heâs always searching for you, even when he knew you werenât searching for him back.Â
Thatâs the change, and it dawns on him like a rapture. Heâd never had to care before- you were always this constant in his life, something that would always bounce right back if he tossed you aside. He didnât give a damn if it upset you, he didnât give a damn if it ate away at you like termites through wood. But now he does, and he gives so many damnâs theyâre driving him crazy.Â
Any moment spent sober and lucid were moments entirely taken up by you.
Any moment now youâll come strutting through those doors, head held high and gunning it to make sure Nam-gyu knew exactly how much you didnât need him.Â
But then ten teams turn into twenty, and twenty five into thirty.Â
âHow many teams were there?â Nam-gyu asks with a voice steadier than even he expected. Thanos doesnât need to question anything, watching the doorway all the same.Â
âFifty-six.â Se-mi hums from her spot, leaning back against the steps.Â
Thirty eventually turns to fifty.Â
Too much time has passed, and youâve still yet to pop out through that doorway. He double checks those whoâd already shown their faces, hoping to find you through the cracks of them, but youâre simply not there. Thereâs a shovel digging pits and moats into his stomach. Another wave of players trickles in and he scans them all over the same, only to feel that hollowness inside him grow once more. They saunter to their beds, to their little groups, taking up space and taking up air that should belong to you.Â
Where the hell were you?
âOnly two teams left,â Thanos hums. âWhereâs that girl of yours?â
Nam-gyu canât force himself to answer this time around. So, instead, he presses his nails between his teeth and nervously shifts his weight from left to right. Though he shrugs, the anxiety within him was palpable, all lines and tension that he tried to bury with nonchalance. But it wasnât working, and felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside out.
Mind racing, thoughts circling him like birds over fresh kill. The final team walks through the doorway, slow as zombies, shifty eyed and hurriedly rushing to their beds. His eyes sit on the door, waiting, waiting.Â
No one comes through.Â
His shoulders fall limp.Â
You didnât make it.Â
âThatâs a shame.â Se-mi sighs, the sound swimming in Nam-gyuâs ears.Â
Loss, real loss was a foreign feeling within his chest. Heâd seen it described in the movies, in songs, this soul eating all consuming weight that blanketed over bodies and crushed, but nothing could have ever prepared for the blistering moment it wrenches itself within the confines of his heart, within the deep ache of his bones. It didnât settle properly in his throat- his body trying to force the alien ripple of dread stitching itself right between his ribs. It hurts- his lungs canât take in air. His breath wheezes past his lips in shallow pants, unable to tear his eyes away, like at any moment youâll suddenly materialize right before him.Â
He presses his lip into a tight line and digs his nails into his palms, anything to release a fraction of the agony festering within his body.Â
Brain on fire, shaking hands and the image of you dead in a thousand different flashes, a sting to his waterlines that has him scrambling to shove his fingers against the thin skin.Â
Donât fucking cry. Donât fucking cry.
âBad luck. Sorry, boy.â
All the skin on his body has flushed red and sticky. He ducks his head down towards his lap, desperate to hide within himself, even more desperate to hide this part of himself from the watchful eyes of his group. He should have just made you join them. Should have thrown you over his shoulder and wrapped an immovable grasp around your arm and held you hostage until everyone had a team and then youâd have no one else to turn to. No one else, nothing else except for him.Â
He canât even hear his friendâs counterfeit empathy over the swell of his heartbeat in his ears. His body is too heavy to hold up, his arms dragging as lead, his head even heavier on his shoulders. Uncanny urges to tear at the skin of his face overcome him and he has to bury them into his hair in release, roughly running his digits through the black locks, trying to breathe and breathe and breathe. A lump the size of a boulder burrows into his throat.
Cracking his eyes open to peek down at his lip, squeezing them shut when his vision is wet and blurry. His lower lip trembles until itâs caught in his teeth, biting hard into the skin.Â
Don't fucking cry.
Why did you have to be so stubborn? If youâd have just let him take care of you this one fucking time, you would be alive right now. You should be alive right now- pissed and glaring fury in his direction but breathing and taking up space and existing-
âAh, they made it. Here I thought they were all goners.â
Se-miâs casual tone barely reaches him, but itâs got him frantically flicking his gaze back up to the archway, his hands falling from his face, trying to see through the blotches in his sight. A handful of players take soft steps into the room, all shaken up, all bewildered.
There you are. His racing heart stops entirely.
Youâre sauntering into the dormitory like a wounded animal, all hands wringing out in front of you and lines drawn into your frown. For the first time, in Nam-gyuâs eyes, you look small. Frightened. Every step you take has a weight to it heâs never witnessed you bear. And even from across the room, even with rigid tears trapped in the corners of his eyes, he can see the grip of fear on the flat of your throat.Â
All those jumping thoughts settle into a tunnel vision, you at the epicenter of his quaking nerves simmering down into stillness. He forgets how his chest had twisted as if a knife had been planted between his collarbones, and he forgets how he had almost lost his lunch right there on the floor. All because youâre standing there in the middle of the room hugging yourself, white as a ghost, even paler when you lift your head up and see the way Nam-gyu is trapped in your line of sight.Â
Nam-gyu seeâs it. No hate, no dejection.Â
Relief- this instant where your widened eyes soften, your frown lifts into a slack-jawed breath of solace. It rocks his world when it hits him and it lights a flame so hot under his skin itâs burning through his veins. All the air trapped in his lungs leaves him at once and he can pinpoint the exact moment all the tensions in his shoulders and back melt away in nothingness. The tears dry, his lower lip released from his gnashing teeth.
The man youâd joined earlier pats your shoulder and offers you a pathetic, wavering thumbs up. You canât seem to return his dull enthusiasm. In fact, you look worse than Nam-gyuâs seen you thus far. Changed, all wires sticking exposed and sparking. Thereâs this lifelessness to your body when you climb up the stairs and have to heave yourself up into your bed, crossing your legs and resting your chin on your palms propped up over your knees.Â
When your eyes meet his, he expects some sort of sign of contempt, or perhaps maybe youâd refuse to meet his gaze entirely. Instead, for the first time since youâd arrived, you find him first.Â
You offer him a pitiful open palmed wave.Â
The pearly gates crack open and Nam-gyu feels it again- warmth. Even just a little bit, like lighting a match in a snowstorm, huddling around the flame. He half cocks a smile, and he waves back.Â
--
Lunch came quicker than heâd anticipated, and much to Nam-gyuâs dismay, you werenât exactly thrilled to hop into line. In fact, ever since youâd let him jam his fingers back into your closing door, youâd hardly acknowledged anything other than your lap. Even more so upsetting, that player you hung around tapped your mattress to gather your attention, pointing to the line, sighing in defeat when youâd shook your head.Â
Jealousy seeps into his wounds all over again, quiet, but equally as simmering. Donât act like you know her. Little devils tapping away at his psyche. She doesn't need you to check up on her.
But then again, he realizes, maybe you do.Â
His mouth dries when the sound of his thoughts footsteps come running up on him. His greed. His innate ability to leave you unchecked and grappling. That was among the sea of problems Nam-gyu had been struggling to grasp. Here he was, trying to drag you back into the tar pits of his hold and he hadnât even tried the basics of kindness. The step one of it all. Always taking, taking, taking and demanding more at every swipe. Always expecting, never building.Â
So he jumps into line before he can second guess himself, and he takes his bento box with a grateful nod and he doesnât waste a second before heâs chasing the trail of you to your bed. From your high point, perched and unmoving, all he can do is climb the stairs and rest his hands over the corner of your mattress. Your far away gaze lifts from your lap and settles down to him.Â
The air is different. The landscape of you has changed.Â
âWhat is it.â Your tone is uncannily flat, but itâs void of its bite, its drive.Â
âCan I come up?âÂ
Itâs a simple request, but it leaves a shake at the end of his sentence. Itâs only natural when he mentally prepares himself for you to slap no onto his forehead, but you scoot over, and he takes the spot so quickly you wouldnât even have the chance to say no if you thought about it too much. He hoists himself up and over, fills the gap at your side, just as he should have done days ago. He sits the bento box at the crest of your lap.
âWhatâs this?â Blinking down at the food, you make no effort to pick it up.Â
âFish and rice.â Nam-gyu shrugs. âLooks like an egg, too.âÂ
âI can see that. I meant, what are you doing giving me this?â
â...You didnât get anything.â
As your fingers gingerly touch the container, eyes scanning over the contents, Nam-gyu feels he can breathe easier. This is a win for him- you arenât fighting him anymore. Still on the edge, always ready to run, but the look in your eyes isnât pure hatred or outright hurt. A swell of pride overcomes him when you pluck the chopstick and murmur, thank you.Â
Youâre pliable. Now, more than ever.Â
You eat in silence. He lets you eat in silence, even though peace isnât exactly one of his virtues. Partly because he doesnât know what to say to you, but mostly because heâs got this innate fear that heâs going to say something shitty and youâre going to hate him all over again for it. A million words are always shoving and pushing against his lips and he fumbles with navigating them. So, silence, it is.Â
But it doesnât bother him. Silence meant that you were simply just there, existing, the one thing he had longed for over the years. He knew, deep in his heart, heâd fucked up when he began to miss the very presence of you. No sex, no drugs, no push or pull, just you. And now he gets to take whatever youâll give in micro doses, greedy and starved for you. Fighting the urge to pull you into himself where you could never climb out. He refrains- he forces himself to just be there.Â
No longer could he be the creature he had been all those years ago. He had to be different- not all rough edges and clawing hands, ripping and taking. Or dark eyes watching your every move, or jagged words cutting your flesh with the highs and lows of his tone. Something better, this time. Something for you.Â
Tomorrow would be a new beast entirely. And, in less than a few hours, the lights would flicker off and bask the dormitory into hues of red and blues. You would lay alone in your all-too-large bed and he would sink into his mattress drugged out of his mind thinking countless thoughts of you, you, you. The distance would feel like miles- he needed you right there, right then, always. Anything other than what he had sitting beside you was a vast ocean.Â
The bento box appears in front of his lap, half eaten.
âYouâre not going to eat it?â Nam-gyuâs brows knit.
âYou should eat, too. What, scared of my germs now?â You murmur, and when he meets your eyeline, he sees something familiar in those hues. Something nurturing, sweet. Tender.Â
Nam-gyu picks up the chopsticks, and he eats. For the first time in years, his food tastes like food.
#squid game#namgyu x reader#nam-gyu x reader#angst#imagine#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu squid game#player 124
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âMaybe I was destined for philosophy Leading leftist ideologies at the Paris-Sorbonne Dreaming up the splendid demise Of the societies we despise, at Cafe de Floreâ - Love In The Time Of Socialism (Yellow House)
#begging everyone to go listen to this song#enjoltaire#enjolras#grantaire#les mierables#les amis de l'abc#les mis#spotify#love in the time of socialism#yellow house#this is on both of their playlists#Enjolras playlist#Grantaire playlist#music recs#song of the day#song lyrics#cafe musain#french revolution#Spotify#I forgot about enjolras and Combeferre#i apologize#logic and philosophy week#this works for enjolras in general
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i swear i listen to other genres but i'm just going to keep making high brow looking playlists with electronic music until ppl start to take it seriously
#i could rant and fucking rave about electronic music#'it's just loops :/ it's just some gamer bro thinking he's a musician there's no skill involved ://'#my friend you have been listening to amateurs#look up savant. creo. inzo. please. i'm begging#he has some meme songs but camellia oh my god. killerbeast i love you#sakuraburst??? pls theyre masters of bait and switch tunes#ohhhh i have such a soft spot for pre-dubstep. bloody beetroots i love you#and if you want big names... (GESTURES WILDLY AT DAFT PUNK)#THEN there's the semi-electronic... irl instrument-based through an amp 'electronic'. ratatat. everyone to listen to ratatat right NOW#they toe the line between acoustic and electronic and it makes me WET. bilar???? oh my god#guess i did rant and fucking rave#i think it's s special interest?#i just got into it around 2005 and then got into the history of it#and god.#I NEED TO MAKE MY ELECTRONIC EVOLUTION PLAYLIST#ESPECIALLY DUBSTEP. THE INCREASE OF CRUNCHY SOUNDS IN INDUSTRIAL TECHNO LEADING SO SO SMOOTHLY TO DUBSTEP. THEN SKRILLEX FIRMLY SOLIDIFIED#IT AS A SUBGENRE#ok i'm fine. i'm fine i'm normal about electronic music i'm normal#god. and pour one out for the dj's that sold out to pop music. zedd your capacity for strong melody is wasted on mediocre lyrics & vocalists#go back to instrumental zedd. go back to instrumental zedd. GO BACK TO INSTRUMENTAL ZEDD#like do ppl realize that electronic music is the MOST human form of music??? these sounds DO NOT EXIST. we r MAKING SOUNDS OUT OF LIGHTNING#WE M A D E THIS#AND WE'RE WATCHING IT DRASTICALLY EVOLVE OUR O U R LIFETIMES#IT'S SUCH A GIFT??? WHY DO PEOPLE POOPOO IT????#shoutout to cascada for starting all of this for me. the true pop edm legend đ«Ą
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I need to find more music that's like Hideki Naganuma, his music is just so good he's literally a music genius my brain itches so good when I listen to his music ugh gonna have to do that rn
#hideki naganuma#music#jsr#jet set radio#bomb rush cyberfunk#sonic#sonic music#ost#please listen to his music i beg#its so funky#and so good#i know like everyones prolly heard at least one of the songs hes done#it makes me go feral#SoundCloud#Spotify
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what's number 68 in your top 100 songs on spotify? :]
stray italian greyhound by vienna teng!!!!
spotify wrapped ask game
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you: you better not play that old man's technopop tribute to mozart me feelin a little goofy:
youtube
#i am begging everyone in the world to listen to this song#it has less than 100 views and i am the only youtube user to have pressed the like button on it#this needs to be a viral hit i am so obsessed w it#he loved to go out shopping to buy clothes to make him elegant he earned the money that he spent by teaching rich aristocrats#brian protheroe#chat#i am so obsessed w brian protheroe literally who is doing it like him#his late-life appreciation for mozart? go OFF#icon behavior#THIS IS UNIRONICALLY SUCH A BOP THOUGH AND A GREAT INTERPOLATION OF CLASSICAL MUSIC#he's so fun. who is as fun as him? nobody. my fun old man#Youtube
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OlderBf!Simon x CollegeStudent!Reader
Kept writing this in my head, finally wrote it down. Could be something, could be nothing
Cw: mostly fluff and domestic goodness, reference to 18+ themes, allusions to Simon sharing Reader with tf141
Olderbf!Simon is quiet and observant. Yes that means heâs often an excellent listener for his chatty little Bird, and notices things about you that you donât even notice about yourself. That also means he knows exactly when you donât want to talk. Your brow furrows in that way that he secretly finds amusing, your lips are pressed in an impossibly thin line. He doesnât mind when you donât want to talk, silence with you is just as good as listening to you talk for hours
Introducing him to your friends wasâŠinteresting to say the least. You knew the age gap alone would make them skeptical. So Simon did what any logical person would do. He took you and your friends out to a really nice restaurant and got all of you your own bouquets.Â
Simon will ALWAYS walk you home from your evening classes, clubs that get out late, rehearsals, anything you got going on. If its dark out heâs waiting outside ever so patiently ânot safe for a pretty thing like you to walk aloneâ (when heâs away on a mission he will arrange for an escort from someone heâs vetting and trusts)Â
When he stays with you at your dorm heâs attached to you like velcro. He follows you down to the laundry room and of course sends an especially deadly look to the hockey player who dared to look at you for a moment too long in the hallway
Simonâs heart damn near jumped out of his chest when you played him one of your favorite playlists and it was full of songs he liked at your age (you didnât have the heart to tell him that your dad introduced that music to you, he was just so happy!)
Simon doesnât mind when you go out to college parties without him âmâtoo old for that young crowd anywayâ heâd say. He loves watching you get ready and put on outfits are that are far too revealing, heâs not intimidated by college boys and trusts you. Besides, heâll be there at the end of the night to make sure you and all of your friends get home safe. He takes you to his place though, you were just so cute and needy and heâd hate to keep your roommates up all night.Â
He loooovvveeees seeing you wear his clothes, doesnât matter your size heâs so large youâre swimming in his shirts no matter what. He loves it a little extra when you leave his place to go to classes sporting a shirt with his last name plastered in all caps on the back.Â
He attends all of your events. Donât try hiding them from him, heâll find out and be there no matter what you say. You BEG him to stop coming after one of your professors asked if he was your father right before you unknowingly walked over and planted a big kiss on his lips, he does not comply with your wishes. He liked the shock and borderline horror on your professors face.
Simon spoils you, he buys your textbooks and if you need extra money for food or supplies itâs being transferred to you before you even get the chance to say no. Itâs not just necessities though! He learns all of your interests and you get plenty of gifts related to them all of the time.
Once your friends got comfortable with Simon he was automatically invited to every girls night at the local collage bar. His presence alone kept the creeps away so you and your friends could have fun. Not to mention he always picks up the tab before any of you realize and drives everyone home safely.Â
When he talks about you to his team they all get a little too invested a little too fast. Soap and Gaz constantly asking to see pictures of you âsaid she did something new with her hairâ or some other excuse slipping past their lips. Price was more subtle about his attraction to you, quietly soaking up every story Simon cared to share. Heâs the first to volunteer when Simon isnât able to pick you and your friends up from a party, not that Simon would trust Soap or Gaz with the job.
Itâs not lost on Simon when the boys start asking âhowâs our Birdieâ instead of âhowâs your Birdieâ He doesnât mind, a small smirk always tugging on his lips. One day he surprises them with âSheâs great, finally wants to meet you lot.â Technically you hadnât said that yet, but Simon highly doubted youâd turn down the opportunity to have three additional men around his age fawning all over you.
ă»ă.ă»ăâă».ă»â«ă»ăă»ă.â§àŒșâ„àŒ»â.ă»ă.ă»ăâă».ă»â«ă»ăă»ă.ă»
A/N: Hello! first post! yay!! I promise these will get better as I find my groove and nicheđ for now please enjoy this stream of consciousness that wouldn't leave my brain
P.S: my lovely friend who pre-read this for me requested a part two immediately with more of the other boys and some more explicit thoughts and concept so keep your eyes peeled for that
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#older boyfriend simon#age gap simon riley#tf 141 x reader#is this anything#call of duty#this could fix me#john price#soap mactavish#gaz garrick#cod x reader
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ââč đŽđ”đ¶đ±đȘđ„ đ€đ¶đ±đȘđ„ ââč
description: fluff â university au â fuckboy taesan turned loser
in which fuckboy turned loser taesan finds himself unexpectedly chasing after a sweet and innocent girl he met at a party
pairings: h. taesan x afab!reader
words: 4.6k
warnings: mildly suggestive â cussing â mentions of alcohol & sex
authorâs note: hiii itâs lynn again!! (˶ᔠᔠá”˶) this oneshot is partially inspired by nct dreamâs japanese song âstupid cupidâ so i strongly recommend that you listen to it while reading (ă
ÂŽ Ë `) happy reading !!
tags: @onedoornet
the arrow of love accidentally pierced me
"i'm not going."
taesan groaned and refused to move as jaehyun and leehan pulled his arm insistently to get him off the bed, miserably failing in their attempts to drag taesan to yet another party.
"since when do you of all people say no to parties"
jaehyun scoffed and crossed his arms while taesan glared back at him.
"i wanna have fun instead of being your guys' dd again. i go to parties with you guys and don't even get to drink let alone get laid"
he complained, waving his hands back and forth as leehan sprayed cologne all over the place, obviously bored with the way things were going with jaehyun's horrible attempt at persuading taesan to come.
"you don't have to be dd so pleaseeee come with us. it's literally walking distance to the other building"
jaehyun resorted to begging, dropping to his knees and holding his hands together in front of taesan. taesan just scoffed in amusement before looking at leehan.
"no dd?"
leehan shook his head in response, ceasing his cologne attacks. taesan let out a light sigh, stretching his arms before getting up off the bed.
"dress code is formal"
jaehyun shouted excitedly before running to the other room to grab his own outfit he brought to taesan's dorm.
taesan rummaged through his closet and found a black collared shirt with dress pants. he had no clue who chose the party theme but silently thanked them for giving him an excuse to wear that one shirt that emphasized his arm muscles perfectly.
"pregame~"
jaehyun sang as he came back holding three shot glasses and some soju, quickly pouring it before handing one to each person.
"to jaehyun hopefully getting laid tonight"
leehan toasted as jaehyun shamelessly seconded the wish.
'hopefully me too if these fuckers don't ruin it again'
taesan thought to himself as they all clinked shot glasses, downing them as fast as jaehyun poured them. the three sighed as the familiar slight fuzzy feeling coursed through their veins.
"okay let's go ladies !!"
jaehyun excitedly ushered everyone out the door, practically dragging taesan out of his own home.
"i need want a girl"
jaehyun whined the entire way there, leehan silently shaking his head at his desperation while taesan exasperatedly sighed.
"you say this and fumble every time because of how drunk you get. you think you'd learn after how many times it happened"
taesan shook his head as he raised his hand to ring the doorbell. he didn't even get near it before the door swung open and the most beautiful girl he's ever seen stepped out.
"oh shit itâs freezing- oh sorry, i opened the door kinda fast didnât i? but hey, welcome in"
you looked up with a smile at the three boys, nodding briefly before stepping outside to go to your car and grab more drinks.
jaehyun and leehan excitedly went in, taesan following suit shortly after looking back to get a good look at you. not being able to see much since it was so dark out, he just went inside to make himself a drink.
taesan forgot about you for a while, instead drinking and hanging out with other people he recognized at the party. he stayed with sungho and riwoo, his upperclassman friends from his class.
"oh y/n!"
sungho called you over and waved after seeing you finally put all the drinks on the counter. you gave him a bright smile and waved back, carefully walking over while avoiding bumping into other people.
"hey guys, how's the party?"
you asked with a slight giggle as you gave sungho a side hug, already a little tipsy from the fruity cocktail you held.
"it's great y/n. glad to see you're finally loosening up"
sungho joked as you nudged his shoulder lightly. taesan just watched your guys' interaction, mostly focusing on you. he recognized you as the one who swung open the door, and he finally got to take a good look at you in better lighting.
you were much shorter than him and wearing a tight, navy blue dress that hugged all your curves so perfectly. your hair was curled and had tiny blue bows in it to match your dress. you had glittery makeup that made you glow even more when you smiled.
it was simple: taesan couldn't keep his eyes off you. and not in the normal 'she's so bad' kinda way. he fell in love on sight.
"he's kidding, i'm actually the one who introduced him to all our regulars who throw parties"
you smiled at taesan with a hint of worry in your eyes at how dazed he seemed. taesan snapped out of it and nodded back at you.
"oh? did you two already know each other?"
riwoo asked in slight surprise, becoming even more amused when the two of you shook your heads. he'd been observing the entire thing, and could clearly see taesan was unusually interested in you.
"oh my gosh, i'm so sorry. i haven't even introduced myself yet. i'm y/n"
you smiled brightly and stuck a hand out for taesan to shake and he took it delicately, squeezing it gently. you just missed the faint blush spreading on the back of his neck before he covered it up with his hand.
"i'm taesan. i think i've seen you around campus. nursing major right?"
you adopted a look of surprise and nodded.
"yeah, how'd you know??"
"your pretty face isn't exactly forgettable, you know"
you froze up in shock at how bold taesan was being for someone you just met. taesan felt like he wanted to die at the corny line.
usually fuckboy taesan was more pulled together and could say stuff like that easily, but around you? he had no idea what had gotten into him.
sungho and riwoo just stared in astonishment at the clear flirting happening between the two of you
"sungho and i are gonna go out to the car real quick. we'll be right back"
riwoo said all of a sudden, pointedly smirking at taesan before dragging sungho off to sit outside for a bit. you watched with slight shock as the two quickly darted through the crowd to get outside, turning your attention back to an equally flustered taesan.
"okay anyways mr. stalker, i haven't seen you around campus. what's your major?"
you asked as you gestured towards the counter, offering to make taesan a drink. he quickly downed the little beer he had left and followed you.
"i'm a kines major. i saw you a couple times when preparing for the sports clinic event"
"ooh so we might be working together soon for the sports clinic event soon?"
you turned to look at him, smiling as you handed him a fruity pink cocktail. taesan looked down and smiled slightly at the glitter coating the rim, praying that it was edible as he took the glass from your hand. he didn't miss the way your hand lingered on his before fully handing it over.
"yeah, and i might be the patient with how sweet this drink looks"
taesan looked at you teasingly as he gestured to the glittery drink, making you giggle as he took a sip.
"how is it?"
"good. it's not too sweet for me, thank goodness"
taesan nodded and you let out a little sigh of relief, a smile spreading on your face as you sipped your own drink.
"so anyways, are you a lightweight?
before you two knew it, you had migrated to the couch to have an actual conversation, taking more than enough twisted teas with you.
"fuck no. bet i could drink more than you"
taesan snorted, looking at your mock offense as you gasped.
"you're on"
you grinned as you clinked cocktail glasses with him, preparing for a long night of drinking with someone new.
"so how'd you get to know sungho and riwoo?"
taesan looked at you while passing a can of twisted tea, clinking your guys' cans together while you thought of how you guys met.
"we met in one of my classes last year. those two basically took me into their friend group and watched over me since i didn't know anyone, and we got close that way. and you?"
"they're kines majors too, so we work together a lot. they're hella cool people"
you hummed and nodded in agreement.
at first it was just small talk and getting to know each other, but it quickly escalated to faint touches and obvious flirting. at least on taesan's part.
"we should meet up sometime to go eat"
taesan turned his head to look at you, both of you sitting sloppily on the couch, already pretty tipsy. you giggled and looked at him.
"i'd like that. wanna go out to eat something together?"
you kept giggling, slurring your words as you reached to clutch taesan's arm for stability before pulling away, laying down in the process. he didn't miss the way you trailed your nails down his forearm before pulling away.
"of course. make it a date?
taesan finished off his can of twisted tea before looking back at you, eyes getting heavy as he reached to interlock his fingers with yours.
before you could even say anything, taesan passed out right next to you. you shot up and checked to see if he was okay before lying back down next to him, laughing nonstop at how ridiculous the situation was.
as if on cue, jaehyun and leehan stumbled into the living room and saw taesan passed out next to you.
"did this loser actually fall asleep?"
leehan snorted as you giggled, shaking your head and clearly having no idea what was actually going on. jaehyun just laughed and worked to drag taesan up and out.
"thanks for hosting y/n. it was fun"
jaehyun gave you a smile and wave before putting taesan on his back. as the three left, your roommate came into the room with a smirk as she picked you up and brought you to your room.
"oh pretty girl, we're gonna have a fun talk tomorrow"
chaeryeong scoffed, an amused smile spreading across her lips as you smacked your lips and smiled contently as you fell asleep.
girl you got me crazy, blame it on stupid cupid
taesan woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit. he got up to go get water from the kitchen and saw jaehyun sitting at the counter, looking like he was also dying of a fat headache.
"hey"
jaehyun croaked out as he passed taesan a packet of liquid iv and a plate of pancakes.
"hey. did u get anyone's number this time?"
taesan asked as customary after a party, with jaehyun groaning and shaking his head as usual.
"i saw you talking it up with y/n though"
jaehyun teased and a slight smile appeared on taesan's face. before he could say anything, leehan ran into the room.
"you're talking to y/n? of all people you chose y/n??"
leehan said a little too loudly, causing the other two to clutch their heads and hurriedly shush him for how loud he was being.
"what's wrong with y/n? you know her or something?"
taesan's eyebrows furrowed and jaehyun nodded in agreement.
"nothing's wrong with y/n. but you?? and y/n?? mister fuckboy taesan trying to get in the pants of the nicest person in the world??"
leehan questioned as taesan looked taken aback.
"who said i wanted to get in her pants? and why are you so shocked in the first place?"
leehan sighed and took a fat swig of jaehyun's water, ignoring jaehyun's protests.
"y/n doesn't seem like the type of girl you can fuck around with for fun. she gives off the vibe of looking for a genuine relationship"
leehan explained as jaehyun snatched his water back and chugged the rest.
"well good because i actually like her"
taesan scoffed as jaehyun spat out the water across the kitchen island.
"WHAT."
leehan and jaehyun both turned to taesan with the most incredulous looks in their eyes. taesan looked at them and scoffed.
"is it that hard to believe i can like someone?"
"yes."
"dude you're literally the epitome of an emo fuckboy."
"okay rude. maybe not like her, but i'm interested"
taesan rolled his eyes while the other two collected themselves and laughed.
"you and y/n as a couple would be insane"
leehan cackled as he walked out of the room, jaehyun's own laughs quieting as he cleaned up the water.
"whatever. see you in class tomorrow"
taesan glared at jaehyun, going back to the guest room to grab his stuff, promptly leaving to go to his own apartment.
24/7 like a party ... it's going to go out of control, heartbeat
for the next couple days, taesan miraculously saw you everywhere. sure, he'd seen you around campus once or twice, but now? you were popping up around every corner every second of the day, and taesan was going insane.
"bro why do you keep staring at that fountain? itâs the middle of winter. itâs not even running"
jaehyun complained as he looked over at the fountain and saw absolutely nothing. taesan shook out of his daze and turned back to jaehyun.
"just spacing out"
he shrugged and jaehyun gave him a weird look, continuing whatever he was talking about while taesan stayed dazed.
"is that y/n?"
leehan suddenly said and taesan whipped his head towards the fountain again. but you weren't there.
"holy shit he wants her bad"
jaehyun and leehan started laughing as taesan just groaned and put his head in his hands.
"i've been seeing her around here every day and i swear i've never even seen her here before that party. should've gotten her number"
taesan muttered as he lifted his head to look at the two, who were the ones staring at the fountain this time.
"i think you manifested y/n's appearance"
leehan laughed and jaehyun waved at taesan, motioning him to go over to you.
"go talk to her and get her number loverboy"
he hissed and taesan hesitated. seeing you weren't with friends or anything today, he decided to go over before you left.
it's going to be bad if you keep going like this
"y/n?"
you looked up to see taesan walking towards you, acting all surprised that you were there as if he hadn't seen you there for a whole week straight.
"oh hey, taesan right? good to see you again"
you smiled as taesan came to a stop right in front of you.
"how's the clinic been going for you? i haven't seen you around so i guess we didn't sign up for the same shifts or something?"
taesan asked and your smile dropped a little. you really thought you'd see taesan at the clinic sessions, and not seeing him until now made your unusual encounter all the more nerve racking.
"it's been a lot of fun working with my classmates and meeting the kines majors"
your bright smile came back and taesan couldn't help but smile back at you.
"that's great, they're all really good people. um, well, i was wondering if-"
"Y/N!"
you whipped your head around to see sungho calling your name and waving at you. you smiled and waved back while taesan also waved awkwardly.
"oh hey taesan. y/n and i were about to go shopping around the area. wanna join us?"
sungho invited and taesan shook his head.
"i just came over to say hi real quick. jaehyun and leehan are over there waiting for me anyways"
he gestured towards his friends, and you and sungho both nodded in understanding.
"well, bye taesan"
you reached to give taesan's arm a quick, gentle squeeze as you walked by. sungho smirked at the sight as he gave taesan a pat on the back, unknowingly having ruined taesan's attempt to get your number.
taesan walked like a dejected puppy back to his friends who were eagerly waiting to hear the story by this point.
"i got cockblocked and didn't get her number"
he groaned and buried his face in his hands while the other two looked on and laughed.
"never in my life did i think taesan was a loser until now"
leehan chuckled as he calmed down, jaehyun still dying and fighting for his life while taesan continued to look dejected.
all taesan could think about is what that touch on the arm meant. was it casual? did you already pick up on the fact that he liked you? did you reciprocate? he was completely confused.
"watch, i'm gonna get her number soon"
taesan declared as he got up and started walking to his next class after bidding the two goodbye.
"wanna bet that he isn't gonna get it by the time the week is over"
"bet he is"
"$20?"
"you're on"
is it bad? is it good?
taesan was able to poke his head around the clinic to visit you under the pretense of visiting his other kines major friends.
and every. single. time. you drove taesan crazy with the subtle touches you would give in response to his poor flirting.
at first it started simple with a little squeeze of the hand or arm, but then it escalated to interlocking your fingers together while you had a conversation.
taesan thought it was cute with the way you played with his fingers while he talked, but also? it set his heart on fire and he lost his train of thought the moment he felt you rub your thumb against the palm of his hand.
"um, taesan?"
you questioned in response to his silence, to which taesan shook out of his daze and kept yapping about what kines majors do.
taesan thought he was fumbling bad. he stuttered constantly, ears flushed whenever you gave him one of your light touches, and was visibly shaking when you held his hand. the boy was so worried that he was gonna scare you off just by coming off so awkward.
i don't know what to do
âwhat the fuckâ
riwoo woke up to an obnoxious taesan banging on the door, to which he scrambled to open it as soon as possible.
âwhatâs wrong?â
riwoo croaked out as he saw taesanâs panicked face.
âi think iâm fumbling y/nâ
he breathed out as he walked in and collapsed on the couch, a confused riwoo following behind him after shutting the door.
âwhat did you doâ
riwoo collapsed next to him, grabbing a pillow and shutting his eyes while preparing to listen to taesanâs rant.
âi donât even know but iâve been hella nervous around her and stuttering and i still havenât asked for her number and sheâs been all touchy with me and iâm scared of what she thinks of me iâm so confusedâ
taesan said all at once while riwoo stayed silent to process it all.
âwait so are you really interested in something real with her?â
riwoo opened his eyes and admitted defeat since he couldnât go back to sleep with a yapping taesan.
taesanâs eyebrows furrowed before nodding slightly.
âwell thank goodness because sheâs not the type to fuck around. anyways, if sheâs been touchy and not dry then i think that means youâre okay no? y/n plays dumb but sheâs not naive. if sheâs acting like that then sheâs probably interested tooâ
riwoo concluded before thinking for a bit again.
âjust start by getting her number. i donât know why you think itâs so hard after having an entire catalog of girlsâ numbers, but start by deleting all those if you want something serious. and be good to her. that girlâs my ride or dieâ
riwoo yawned as he ushered taesan out the door.
âyou really think i can get her number?â
âpositive, you fucking loserâ
riwoo teased as taesan rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath before walking down to find y/n at the clinic again.
he saw you standing in the doorway preparing to take a patient in for a flu shot. you glanced up and gave taesan a small smile before closing the door for the patientâs privacy.
taesanâs heart was racing a mile a minute as he sat and waited for you to be done in the room. he took a while to calm his heart down and steel up his nerves, but he did over the course of the 20 minutes you were gone.
âtaesan? what are you doing here?â
taesan jumped slightly at the sound of your voice, not realizing you had walked the patient out already and stood in front of him.
âi came to say hi, maybe ask if you wanted to get lunch or something?â
taesan tried to be as nonchalant as possible while he said that, but the rosy blush on his cheeks gave him away. you couldnât help the small smile that spread to the corners of your lips.
âiâd love to! just let me get changed really quickâ
you grabbed your tote bag and ran off to the dressing room to change as soon as possible. taesan laughed lightly at how you seemed so excited to go eat after probably 6 hours at the clinic.
âready?â
taesan stood up the moment he saw you come out and you smiled and nodded.
âi was thinking we could walk to somewhere around campus. you craving anything specific?â
taesan looked at you while you two walked and you thought for a minute before looking up at him.
âiâve kinda been craving udonâ
you admitted and taesan looked at you as if you were the most perfect person in the world. udon? in the middle of winter?? with a beautiful girl??? taesan was practically on cloud 9.
âsounds perfect to meâ
taesan smiled and you two walked together down to the little area on campus full of restaurants and little shops. the two of you sat down in a small booth and taesan could barely keep eye contact with you. he thanked god that you decided to sit opposite of him or else you wouldâve felt the seat shake from how much he was trembling.
âdo you have any classes after this?â
you suddenly asked and taesan shook his head.
âdo you?â
you sadly nodded your head.
âi have psych in 2 hours so we can still stay here and talk for a good whileâ
you smiled as you looked at taesan and he couldnât help but mirror your smile too. the sweet waitress came back with your guysâ bowls of udon, so the conversation quieted for a while, with some small talk and jokes scattered in between bites.
âthank you for coming to see me and taking me to get lunchâ
you said happily as you took the check from the waitressâs hands, smile dropping when you saw that the bill was paid for entirely.
âtaesan what the hell? you didnât have to pay for lunch. i can pay you backâ
you hurriedly opened your purse until taesan stopped you and shook his head.
âi asked you to lunch so iâm gonna pay. donât even worry about itâ
he said as he guided you to stand up and walk outside. you had a slight frown on your lips, feeling guilty for not having contributed at all.
âlet me pay for lunch next time though, please?â
you pleaded with taesan and he looked at you skeptically before laughing and nodding.
âgive me your number so we can plan another lunch date?â
you smirked and raised your eyebrows at that, but put your number in taesanâs phone nonetheless.
âyouâre not slick han taesan, i see youâ
you laughed and taesan looked away in slight embarrassment before laughing with you. in reality, taesanâs heart was bursting with joy, but he wasnât about to let you know that he was freaking out inside.
âiâll walk you to class. itâs on the way to the dorms anywaysâ
taesan looked at you and said, making you smile at him gratefully.
âat least itâs a short walk. ready to go?â
you snaked your arm around taesanâs, holding it close while you two walked back to campus.
âi had a lot of fun talking to you today. iâve been wondering if you were ever gonna reach out after we talked at my partyâ
you admitted as you two walked back to school. taesan scoffed in an attempt to hide how happy he was that you reciprocated.
âi had a lot of fun talking to you then too. i wanted to talk to you more but i didnât have your numberâ
taesan said as he reached a hand up to cover the blush on his neck. it didnât go unnoticed by you but you didnât mention it.
âwell you do now. i gotta go but text me whenever so we can go on a longer date next time taesanâ
you gave taesanâs arm one final squeeze with a sweet smile before disappearing into the lecture room, slowly disappearing from taesanâs line of sight.
the moment taesan couldnât see you anymore, he started smiling so widely he thought his cheeks were gonna stretch out.
âbro sheâs so sweet and so cute and i finally got her numberâ
taesan yapped all about you to jaehyun and leehan, who were less than happy to listen but also happy for you. they loved you like a sister and were happy it was taesan of all people who liked you enough to change his fuckboy ways.
however, things usually happen in more ways than one, donât they? as they say, allâs fair in love and war.
blame it on stupid cupid
âchaer?â
you woke up on the night of your party and rubbed your eyes to find your roommate basically trembling with excitement to hear the story of you and taesan.
âgirl you gotta tell me everything that happened between you guysâ
chaeryeong jumped onto your bed and waited eagerly to hear the story.
ânothing even happened. heâs just really sweet and wanted to get to know me a little. was too drunk to get my number thoughâ
you said simply, hoping that chaeryeong wouldnât question it, but she did.
âwhat do you mean he didnât get your number? youâre SO FINE i wouldâve asked immediatelyâ
she complained and you shrugged. all of a sudden she shot up, startling you in the process.
âfuck no y/n, this is operation âget you with taesanâ timeâ
chaeryeong said and you groaned, not bothering to hide your amused smile.
âlay it on me. whatâs your amazing plan chaer?â
âGIRL OKAY so you need to walk by these places every day. taesan passes by them pretty often. i see him all the time walking to class so make HIM come to YOUâ
she huffed proudly after she finished her speech and you clapped sarcastically.
âi can try. we also have clinic together so maybe he can ask for my number then tooâ
âalso make sure to touch his shoulder or something. guys are like, from the victorian era. theyâll take ANYTHING as a sign so long as you give it to themâ
you werenât that confident taesan was even interested in you like that, but seeing the way he looked for you every time you passed by the fountain made you wanna keep teasing him by simply passing by.
the moment he actually came up to you was the moment you knew you got him. and so, the actual mastermind behind you and taesan progressing was none other than lee chaeryeong.
girl you got me crazy, blame it on stupid cupid
#boynextdoor#onedoornet#han taesan#kim leehan#kim woonhak#lee riwoo#myung jaehyun#park sungho#bnd#bnd x reader#boynextdoor x reader#taesan x reader#taesan#leehan#woonhak#riwoo#jaehyun#boynextdoor sungho#chaeryeong
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â CALL ME LITTLE SUNSHINE | part i
pairing: rockstar ! eddie x innocent ! reader
tags: pet names. dirty talk. making-out. fingering. oral; (fem receiving). marking; (hickeys). loss of virginity. corruption kink. semi-public sex. eddie is entirely pussy whipped.
w/c: 6.7k.
a/n: welcome to part one! it's been a hot minute since i've posted anything as thought out and in-depth as this so if you could take a few minutes to reblog or comment some feedback, i'd very much appreciate it. â„
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/392dea97054ce781a964f05743adb250/20f7bf539ebb0f32-fd/s540x810/617f34ee6d56203d918ddcd0ec85292cf75c0208.jpg)
"Corroded Coffin! Corroded Coffin! Corroded Coffin!"
The ever-growing crowd had been calling for the band the entire time you'd been waiting in line, which, after looking at the watch tucked beneath the sleeve of your cardigan, had been almost an hour and a half. The chanting had gotten so loud that, at some point, you'd stopped being able to hear yourself think, instead relying on Steve's large hand clasped around your own to tell you when to shuffle forward.
You felt out of place, unlike Steve and Robin. Everywhere you looked, people were dressed in leather and chains; piercings here, there, and everywhere; fishnets; big black platform boots; heavy make-up; and tattoos. And then there was you, dressed in a simple summer dress, hugging a knitted cardigan around your shoulders, wearing strappy sandals, and looking like someone right out of the Stepford Wives.
Other people noticed; you'd swear it, though no one said anything. As you looked between people, you caught a few of them looking at you, their expressions a motley of emotions that made you shift uncomfortably. Metal music had never been a particular favourite of yours, and concerts like thisâwhere people were packed in like sardinesâdefinitely weren't your preferred scene. The thought of being alone, snuggled beneath a blanket, and enjoying a glass of Moscato was much more appealing.
But you'd promised Steve and Robin that you'd come.
Well, no, not exactly. You hadn't promised either of them anything; instead, you'd given in to their constant whining. Steve and Robin had hung themselves from your legs as though they were dramatic, tantruming toddlers, pouting, and begging you to go with them. And after promising to cook dinner every night for a weekâno, wait, a month!âyour resolve finally broke.
That was how you found yourself finally walking through the double doors of the stadium. A gust from the air conditioner greeted you as you stepped inside, blowing your hair into your eyes and lip gloss, but it was a welcomed relief.
"I think that took literally forever." Your feet were already aching, and the thought of standing for another two hours was mentally and physically exhausting. Sure, you'd listened to some of Corroded Coffin's songs and thought they were good, but you weren't looking forward to standing in a sweaty crowd.
"Right. That was crazy, and they only have two scanners going. It's going to take forever to get everyone inside." Steve replied. His fingers tightened around yours when he felt your strides slowing, and he turned to notice your attention was on the merchandise display a few feet away. Following your gaze, he found the band tees hung up on a pinboard, images pressed onto the fronts and backs of each one. Some showed the band's tour dates and the cities they were scheduled to stop in, while others had stylised versions of Eddie's face.
Steve practically beamed with pride. He was proud of how far Eddie had come since they'd metâfrom school freak to famous rockstar. It was a big change, but a well-deserved one, given all the shit he'd been through. Somehow, he'd remained modest and hadn't forgotten where he'd come from; he'd gotten his uncle out of the trailer and into a two-bedroom apartment; he thanked his uncle and friends during every interview; he'd even forgiven his childhood bullies, though he never forgot what they'd done to him.
"Come on," he said while tugging your hand. "We should get in before the show starts," he said when you hesitated, teeth tugging on your lower lip as you continued to eye the shirts, bandanas, and posters on display. It was called the Upside Down Tour, and the band had released a limited-edition shirt for the tour.
"I want to get a shirt; this is the first concert like this I've ever been to. I want something to remember it." You explained. You wriggled your fingers in his, hinting that you wanted him to let go. If you'd have blinked, you might have missed it, but you swore that Steve and Robin shared a lookâthe kind that carried secret conversations and amusement.
Your heart stuttered in your chest, painful and sudden, while your mind raced to a dozen terrible thoughts. What if they regretted bringing you along, even though they'd practically begged you to go? What if they were angry? Fuck, what if they hated you? You must have looked like you were about to pass out because Steve took pity on you, reassuringly squeezing your hand as he stepped closer.
"Shit, sorry," he apologised with a crooked smile. "It's all good. We can pick one up after the show, okay? We need to get inside before security locks the doors."
"Oh,"Â you answered. You ducked your head to hide your face, which felt like it was burning with embarrassment. You suddenly felt childish for letting your anxiety get the better of you, especially given that this was Steve and Robin, who had been nothing but kind from the moment you'd first met them. "Of course. After the show."
As though she sensed your distress, which she more than likely did because you radiated emotions like the sun radiated heat, Robin grabbed your other hand, lacing her fingers with yours, and gave you a sympathetic smile that mimicked the one on Steve's face. You loved them, but sometimes you hated them. So often, Robin and Steve seemed to be on the same page, on the same mental wavelength, having entire conversations with the lofting of a brow or half-smirk while you were on your own, a stranger looking in.
You tried not to think about it and tried desperately not to let negative emotions get the better of you tonight. You were at a concert with two amazing people, about to see a fantastic band play live. It was going to be a good night. Steve showed his ticket to one of the women managing the traffic flow, who motioned down a steep staircase into a standing pit right in front of the stage.
As you predicted, the crowd was already massive; there were too many people to fit comfortably within the stadium, but no one would complain as long as everyone behaved. And everyone would behave if they were able to see the band play. It wasn't long before the lights went down, and the crowd's cheering rose to a thunderous crescendo.
You felt the violent vibrations of the bass guitar as the bassist began the opening riftâhow it rattled the ivory cage around your lungs until your entire body swayed to the rhythm. A sudden fireworks explosion dazzled and blinded you as the crowd rushed forward. Then the atmosphere turned electric, casting a weaving web on the crowd and drawing them in.
When the smoke settled, you saw the band had taken their places on stage, dressed in black denim, leather, chains, tattoos, and wild hair. They preened beneath the attention of their peers as the frontman and lead singer, Eddie Munson, moved to stand before a microphone. "I hope you're ready to rock, Hawkins, 'cause we're not stopping until the cops come knocking!"
Steve grabbed your wrist and dragged you in front of him, pushing you closer to the stage. That was how you found yourself standing front and centre. One of his hands grabbed your hip firmly, ready to break the fingers of any other wandering hands. He wrapped his other arm around Robin's shoulders, holding her to him as they sang along to a song you didn't know the words to.
It wasn't your proximity to him or the bruising grip of his fingers that warmed your blood, but the singer on stage. You'd seen pictures of Eddie in the trashy magazine you picked up from the gas station occasionally; each one seemed to be a different headline, each as scandalous as the last. Corroded Coffin's singer caught with another woman? Eddie Munson, Satanic Priest! Some of them were ridiculous, and none of them had been particularly entertaining, especially when, in every interview, he seemed humble, perhaps even flustered by the fame.
The sight of him on stage sent heat dripping down your cheeks and into your neck, spiralling through your veins to gather at your core.
He looked like a devil but had the face of an angelâwild curls bounced around his face, you caught glimpses of his inked skin, and there was a perfect trail of hair on his abdomen. He strummed at his guitar strings as though it were his lover, plucking the cords with perfectly practised movements. You wondered what else his fingers could do, and a wild blush crept into your face.
As though your thoughts weren't mortifying enough, he seemed to have noticed. His eyes found yours in the crowd, as if he could see straight into your brain and was plucking the fantasies from your mind.
The world slowed to a crawl and faded until it was just the two of you and your racing thoughts. You drank in the sight of him. You caught glimpses of his tattoos, watched how droplets of sweat rolled down the hollow of his throat as the heat of the stage lights bore down on him, and watched how his lips moved as he sang, the rasps of his voice enough to make you tremble.
You tugged your lower lip between your teeth, almost afraid to look away; you wanted this moment to go on forever and ever. But as abruptly as it began, the fantasy ended when he looked out across the crowd, and as he did, the world snapped back into place. Your heart was racing, and your breath was erratic.
You felt silly having been caught up in such an intense moment with a perfect stranger, even if he was handsome and famousâa perfect mixture of exhilaration and embarrassment. You glanced at Robin and Steve, hoping they hadn't noticed your captivated state. They hadn't.
The two were still singing and enjoying the music, bouncing up and down as a guitar solo swept through the speakers. Worrying your lip between your teeth, you looked back at the stage, trying valiantly to refocus on the music. After a while, the guitar's pounding bass and electrifying energy were enough to pull you back into the moment.
You felt captivated, as though whatever dark spell he was weaving had fallen upon you, too. His performance was filled with raw emotion and a rebellious spirit, with the lyrics resonating with something deep inside you, echoing your desires, and enticing a wildness to spark in your veins.
You stole another glance at him, and his eyes again met yours. It was almost as if the universe had conspired to connect you two in a chaotic sea of people. With a sudden burst of courage you didn't think yourself capable of, you gave a bashful smile and lifted your hand, waving at him.
He saw and acknowledged you with a knowing smile, to your surprise and amusement. It felt like a dirty secret. You would swear that your face was on fire from how hard you were blushing, your fingers wringing together nervously at the front of your dress.
It seems silly. In fact, you knew it was silly, childish, and stupid.
You didn't know him, and he didn't know you. You knew the media's version of himâthe stylised rockstar who'd grown up poor, defied the odds, and came out on topâthe playboy who had a different girl every other week and who'd been caught having sex with fans in odd places. But what you'd felt, however brief, had ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach. You felt it smouldering as you were lost in the music and its wild energy.
The last guitar riff played, and the crowd erupted into thunderous applause. You expected the crowd to thin down now that the show was finished, but they remained, hooting and hollering, vying for his attention.
"He was incredible!" You shouted as you turned to Steve, straining to be heard above the crowd. He gave you a funny expression and tilted his head to the side, causing a stir of hair to fall into his face.
"What?"Â
"I said," you shouted while moving closer to him. "That was incredible!"
This time, he heard you, chuckling under his breath and holding you in place when you tried to slip through the crowd. And then you saw Eddie standing at the edge of the stage, a security guard at his side. You could see they were talking, now if only you'd learned to read lips. Except you didn't need to read lips to know he was pointing right at the three of you.
Your heart stopped mid-beat, your mouth running dry, as a second security guard approached the three of you. From where you were frozen in time, you didn't see Steve and Robin grinning at each other or the glint in their eyes.
You were star-struck, staring at the security guard as if he'd grown a second head. And he might as well have because things like this didn't happen. Maybe it happened in the movies, but not real life and you weren't some perfectly poised beauty. You were a real woman with feelings; they were all over the place right now.
You grabbed Steve's arm when he stepped away, pulling him to a stop. He looked down at you with a furrowed brow. "What the hell is going on?" you hissed at him, not angry but entirely surprised and uncertain. He gave you a dashing and daring smile.
"Think he just invited us backstage."
"What?"
You'd tried to convince yourself that this was a wild dream. You even pinched yourselfâtwice. Things like this didn't happen to ordinary people, especially people like you. The shy woman who had to have a drink in her hand, the woman who took sips to fill the silence when talking became overwhelming, the woman who stammered and blushed with little more than a wink from a handsome man.
But it was happening. And now there you were, backstage, with Steve and Robin at your side, staring at a door with the band's name written in block letters. You could hear people milling about inside.
The security guard knocked, and you heard the muffled sound of movement, followed by something being knocked over and a chorus of laughter. Finally, the door was hauled open.
"Eddie!"
Robin's outburst startled you. She pushed past you and Steve, then the security guard, and threw herself at the man. You gawked at them, eyes wide as your soul burst to life, heart skipping several beats when he spun her in a circle. Robin's feet didn't touch the ground as they laughed.Â
You couldn't believe it.
There, standing not even five feet away, was the lead singer of Corroded Coffin, Eddie-fucking-Munsonâthe very same man you'd been eye-fucking on stage not even an hour ago. A part of you wanted the ground to open wide and swallow you whole. Another part screamed at you to cling to him as Robin had done.
"Hey,"Â Steve whispered, leaning slightly closer to your ear. "Are you doing okay? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."
"What?" You replied, your voice rising an octave in panic. Your gaze whirled between Steve and the duo, who seemed oblivious to your presence, and then back again. "Yes, well, no! You didn't tell me you knew him!"
"Who? Eddie?"Â He asked.
"That guy, right there, the famous guy hugging our friend?" You were incredulous, your arm flailing in their direction, much to Robin's amusement and Eddie's confusion. "Yes, him! You two know him?"
"What about Eddie?"
The sudden appearance of his voice made you squeak in surprise. His voice was dark, deep, and delectable, like chocolate, and hoarse. It felt like liquid heat pouring down your spine, flooding every intersecting bone until you trembled. Eddie smiled, and his cheeks dimpled in a way that had you blushing wildly.
You stared as Steve and Eddie swept each other into a bear hug, slapping each other on the back and again on the arm as they came apart. Robin gave you a playful poke in the side, bringing your attention back to her.
"What about Eddie?"Â She asked, which inevitably brought all of their attention to you. You shifted beneath the weight of their combined stare. Your eyes found Eddie's, and you looked away quickly.
"Yeah, what about Eddie, girl?"Â He playfully added.
"Nothing! It's just thatâumâwell, I didn't know youâuhâthat they knew you. That's all."Â You say, stumbling over the words like an awkward teenager. You mentally kicked yourself, but in truth, you'd never been good at talking to people. You'd always been a little shy, and everyone made fun of you before Steve and Robin slowly started coaxing you out of your shell.
And it wasn't as though he knew you. He probably hadn't seen you in the crowd. Now that you think about it, Eddie was just as likely to be smiling at them, not you, when he was on stage. But that didn't do anything to pull the blush out of your face or stop the way you shuffled under the gaze of the trio.
"Oh, yeah,"Â Eddie said with an awkward laugh, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. Your eyes went a little buggy when his shirt rode up, revealing that trail of hair that disappeared into the band of his jeans.
You looked away quickly before he could catch you staring, finding something on the wall that suddenly fascinated you. He didn't notice, or at least didn't say anything if he did. "Yeah, yeah, the three of us went to high school together. It seems like a lifetime ago."
Robin stared at him, her expression incredulous. "It was, like, five years ago, Eds. Don't you dare make me older than I am!" She said as the back of her hand connected with his stomach. Eddie huffed as he doubled over dramatically, clutching his stomach and coughing as though she'd just punched the air from his lungs. You laughed despite yourself, momentarily drawing his attention to you; he flashed you a dazzling smile before hustling the three of you inside.Â
It would have been spacious inside the room if it wasn't filled with boxes of merchandise, band equipment, and the rest of the band. The little composure you'd managed to hold onto disappeared when Steve and Robin rushed inside, similarly greeting the others, hugging and laughing like old friends.Â
You lingered at the door, unsure what to do with yourself, when you felt a hand against the small of your back, fingertips tapping just above the curve of your ass, high enough to be respectful but low enough to send a delicious shiver down your spine.
"Come on, sweetheart. They don't bite,"Â Eddie said with a laugh before leaning down to whisper in your ear. You felt his breath against your neck, the warmth of it making you shiver as he caught a glimpse of your cleavage before you hugged your cardigan around yourself.Â
"Well, I might,"Â he added. "If you ask nicely."
He didn't wait to see your reaction, but from the beaming smile plastered on his face, he'd heard your squeak of surprise. Instead, Eddie flounced into the room, joining Steve, Robin, and the others as you followed.
Once official introductions were made, you sat at the end of one of the couches next to Eddie, who seemed entirely unaware of your nervous inner turmoil. Occasionally, his thigh brushed against yours, jostling you in his excitable state as the group recalled their high school years.
"You were quite the ladies' man in high school, Steve. Don't act bashful now,"Â the drummer, Gareth, said with a booming laugh. You found yourself smiling and laughing with him, amused by the way Steve rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to deflect.Â
"I remember Robin telling me that the girls used to call him King Steve." You added. Gareth howled with laughter at how Steve flushed a deeper shade of pink. You smiled at him, pretty and sweet, but should have known he wouldn't let that slight go unanswered. You hardly had time to steel yourself before he returned fire.
"Hey now,"Â he said, his smile positively devilish. "Don't start throwing shade if you can't handle the sun, sweets. Because I could tell some stories about you, too. Well, no, I couldn't. I don't think I've ever heard those bed springs squeak."
You choked on a mouthful of beer, coughing as you glared at him in horror. "Steven Joseph Harrington!"Â Your face burned at the revelation of a secret you'd shared with him one drunk and wild night. Using his full government name was enough for him to know he'd crossed a line, but the laughter of his friends encouraged him.
"I can't help it if that's the truth, you know,"Â he said with a shrug.
"Wait, wait, wait!"Â Eddie shouted, shaking his hand wildly to get everyone's attention, especially yours. You squirmed in your seat, pushing yourself hard against the arm of the couch to try and escape his intense stare when he rounded on you.Â
"Never? As in never, ever?"
At that moment, you wanted the ground to open wide and swallow you. It wasn't that you were embarrassed to be a virgin, but the attention made you uncomfortable. You'd never been the type of woman to want a one-night stand with a stranger. Steve had offered once when you'd both been drunk and confessing secrets, but you'd never felt the itch.
And it wasn't that you considered your virginity to be a cherished and sacred part of yourself. But you'd never wanted to be that vulnerable with someone unless you trusted them entirely.Â
"Bullshit." Eddie spat, not nasty, but disbelieving. "You've gotta be shitting me. A pretty thing like you hasn't ever had sex? I know you're lying."
You stared at your hands resting in your lap, fingers wringing the hem of your dress until the stitching threatened to fray. From across the room, you heard the vague sound of Robin talking, mumbling something about you being as ripe as a cherry. She purposely popped her lips, and you wanted to die.
"Jesus Christ," you managed to choke out. "Yes, okay, I'm a total virgin. Can we talk about something else, please?"
The universe appeared to take mercy on you because the conversation changed topics at breakneck speed. One moment, Eddie was gawking at you; the next, he was focused entirely upon Jeff, who'd bought up something called the Hellfire Club. You took the opportunity to down the rest of your beer, letting the flavour of it wash away the taste of embarrassed tears.
The night went on in relative peace. You drank with them, listening to their wild stories of high school shenanigans and offering your own when prompted. You hadn't realised how much time had passed until you glanced at your watch and gawked:Â two in the morning.
"So, never?"Â Eddie asked without warning, his voice soft and almost innocent, breaking the silence that had blossomed within the room. You pulled your cardigan around your shoulders as though the thin material could shield you from his gaze. The others had fallen asleep, either drunk or high or just beyond exhausted. It was just the two of you.
Just you and Eddie.
"Look," you said with a sigh, your face burning again. "I really don't want to talk about that."
He held his hands in the universal sign of hold up. "I'm not judging you, sweetheart. I'm just curious. A pretty thing like you has to have a trail of broken hearts behind her."
You laughed despite yourself and relaxed back onto the couch, enjoying the warmth radiating from him. He was so close that you could see the way his Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow, the way he traced his lips with the tip of his tongue, the way the fabric of his jeans stretched across his lap, the bulge there. . .
You snapped your head away when he caught your staring.
"It's not like that. I've had boyfriends. I've just never felt comfortable doing anything with them. Not that they were bad people. I didn't want to do it because everyone was doing it. Then I got busy, and dating stopped happening. You understand? Of course you do. You're famous; I doubt you have much time for dating. Not that anyone wouldn't want to date you."
You were rambling, the words falling from your lips like verbal vomit, and you couldn't stop. Eddie silenced you, moving without warning to close the distance lingering between the two of you. He grabbed you by the back of the neck, his fingers rough and warm, pulling you into the wall of his chest so that he could slot his mouth against yours.
Eddie Munson tasted like cigarette smoke and alcohol, dark desire wrapped in leather. Eddie Munson smelled like adrenaline and sex, a woman's wet dream. Before you knew what you were doing, you kissed him back, desperate for more.
Eddie led you into an adjacent room, his fingers enveloping yours, providing a comforting anchor. The soft snores of the others faded into a distant hum as he closed the door. Your gaze traced the contours of his back, the curve of his shoulders, the way his studded jacket draped over them, the weight of his chunky black boots and the ruggedness of his ripped jeans. The belt cinched around his narrow waist, crowned with a buckle shaped like a bat, adding a touch of mystery to his rugged charm.
He turned abruptly, his hand slamming against the door beside your head, eliciting a startled yelp from you. Eddie pressed against you, your hands instinctively clutching the fabric of his shirt. Caught between the desire to pull him closer and the instinct to push him away, you found yourself staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes. Your heart pounded against its ivory prison, the uncertainty of the moment adding to its frantic beat.
"EâEddie?" You managed to stammer his name, your voice impossibly quiet, overflowing with uncertainty and a mix of fear and desire. He didn't seem to mind. He smiled at you, his breath washing over your mouth and nose like a sweet rum, leaving you light-headed. You squeezed your thighs together as tight as you could, desperate to stifle the growing heat at your core.
He felt it, your nervous shifting and the wild beating of your heart as he cruised a hand along your body, from your hip and then over your breast to clutch the back of your neck. He rubbed his thumb over your racing pulse. "Has anyone ever kissed you like this before? Pushed you against a wall, touched you, told you how beautiful you are?"
Your face burned. Eddie knew that you'd been kissed before; you'd told him as much. But you'd also told him you were a virgin. At twenty-four, you'd almost grown out of being embarrassed by the fact.Â
"No," you answered in a low exhale, trying to duck your head to avoid his smouldering stare. His eyes were blown with lust, almost black as coal, as he pushed his thumb against your chin, forcing you to look at him.Â
He leaned in closer, the feel of him like a weighted blanket on your chest, making it harder to breathe but in a pleasant way. It made your head fuzzy, like floating in a beautiful daydream, except his lips ghosted over yours. The faintest of touches had reality snapping into place around you.
"Never, ever?" Eddie whispered, his lips brushing, tugging, teasing yours. He was so close that he'd invaded all your senses until all you saw, heard, and breathed was him. He held fast when he wanted to move. Eddie waited for someone to give in to desire and bring the other into the flames. He wanted and needed it to be you.
The tiny whimper you made shot through him, racing through his blood like a bolt of electricity until his cock throbbed. And then you took the plunge, a hand at the back of his neck, the other hauling him in by that pretty studded jacket so you could brush your mouth against his.
It was all he neededâa silent confession, unspoken permission.
Eddie pushed against you until you felt the studs of his leather jacket and his dangling chains pressing into you through your clothing, your dress suddenly restrictive and in the way. His hands were everywhere, cupping your face, running through your hair. And then he dropped to his knees with a thud, pressing kisses down your stomach, leaving wet marks against the fabric of your dress as he ran his hands up the backs of your legs.
"No one ever touched you like this?"
You felt like you were going up in flames. His touch was fire licking your skin, beautiful and pure, leaving you trembling. His hands moved up the back of your thighs, and when his mouth found your belly button, tongue swirling once, then twice, you grabbed him by the shoulders to steady yourself.
"Words, sweet girl. I need you to answer," he said in a husky tone, pinching the back of your thigh to bring you out of your mind and into the moment. He looked at you from beneath his impossibly dark lashes, his eyes dark, twinkling with mischief.
"Never," you managed to gasp when his hands began drifting high, pushing your dress up until he could bunch it at your hips. And then he was face-to-face with your panties, groaning dramatically, making a sound that would make a pornstar blush.Â
"Have mercy," Eddie moaned, his breath hot against your mound even through the barrier of clothing. His eyes moved back to yours, and you flushed with embarrassment. He was staring at you like he wanted to devour you. "Even your fucking panties are adorable. That little bow? I'm going to take my time unwrapping this present."
Yet, despite this admission, he didn't take his time.
His mouth landed on your clothed cunt without a preamble. Your knees shook and threatened to give out as he worked his tongue against the wet fabric, tasting your arousal and letting it slide down his throat like a fine wine. Eddie found that virgins were quick to get wet. His calloused fingers kneaded the globes of your arse, pulling you closer, his talented tongue pushing your panties into your slit so he could tease your clit with gentle licks.
You bit your knuckles to stifle the sounds of your moans as pleasure snaked through your veins, creeping through your bloodstream until you broke into a sweat.
"Put your hands in my hair," he demanded with a rough voice, and like a mindless fool, you complied. His hair was a mess of wild curls that you pulled on, sinking your fingers deep into his plush locks when he started to work your panties down your thighs. "Good girl."
"Oh god." As the fabric pooled at your ankles, your head hit the door with a soft thud. You were like putty in his handsâwilling to walk through the fires of hell if it meant he'd keep touching you. Eddie freed one of your ankles and threw your leg over his shoulder, bringing you closer.
Words could not describe the feeling of his tongue against your slick folds or the sensation of the tip flicking against your clit. It was like lightning arched through the sky to melt the skin from your bones. You were burning up. And he'd lit the match.
Eddie was loud and messy, lewd. The sounds that clawed up his throat were pornographic. Each wet schlick of his mouth was accompanied by a throaty moan as he sucked your clit and teased your throbbing hole with the tip of his tongue.
It was an out-of-body experienceâyou never realised you could feel this good. Eddie held you by the back of the thighs, his grip firm, pulling you onto his tongue until your flesh goosepipmpled beneath his touch. You could have collapsed when he withdrew, a line of saliva connecting the tip of his tongue to your clit.
"Words, pretty girl. You gotta use them, or I'm going to stop."
You whined desperately, weaving your fingers deeper into his wild hair. "Please don't stop, Eddie. . ."
"Then talk to me. Let me hear those pretty sounds."
He waited only a moment, his dark eyes staring into yours with the intensity of the sun. He took in your flushed cheeks and shallow breaths that made your chest heave. Then he resumed his meal. The sound you made in response was embarrassingâat least, it should have been. You should have wanted the ground to split open and swallow you. But you didn't.
"It's good,"Â you choked out, squeezing your eyes shut as he ran the flat of his tongue along your slit, the tip flicking your clit in a delicious way that made your hips twitch; forward, then back, like you wanted him to eat you alive but also to escape.Â
The feeling was exquisiteâlike nothing you had ever feltâknocking the air from your lungs, making the muscles in your legs tense and your core weep. Your whole body jerked under his tongue, a shiver shaking your spine, your bones turning to jelly as he licked and sucked your drenched cunt. "Oh god. . . I think. . . IâI'm close."
You'd had orgasms before, but nothing quite like this. It was a slow build, each swipe of Eddie's tongue amplifying the pressure between your hips, sending jolts of electricity through your veins until your nerves crackled and popped. It was difficult to describe; you could taste the words on the tip of your tongue, but they melted away with each moan he drew from your lips.
And then it spread out through your body, a searing warmth that threatened once more to melt the skin from your bones.
"You're so wet, sweetness, m'fucking drowning here,"Â Eddie said. Even though his words were vulgar, the low growl with which he spoke sent you tumbling down the other side of pleasure. The first wave zinged through you, knocking the air from your lungs and sparking every one of your nerves to life.
You bit your knuckles hard until you tasted blood, but the flavour was quickly lost as the second wave seared through your limbs. Eddie didn't stopânot once. Each swipe of his tongue against your clit, each push of it into your virginal hole, sent wisps of fire shooting through your veins, adding stars and galaxies bursting to life behind your scrunched-shut eyes.
When you returned to earth, you found yourself trembling, his strong hands the pillars that kept you upright. Eddie kissed his way back up your body, slowly working your dress up as he went until he could pull it over your head. He threw it over his shoulder, the fabric a distant memory as it hit the ground, lost and now forgotten.
"No one ever made you cum before, have they?"Â He whispered, his breath hot, his smirk feral, as he teased his lips along the slope of your neck. You whined when your bare cunt rubbed against his dark denim jeans, the rough drag of the rips and tears against your lips sending you hurtling toward the sky once more.
"No,"Â you managed to say before catching his mouth for a wild, clumsy kiss. Eddie happily obliged, pushing his tongue into your mouth and licking your teeth so you tasted yourself.
"Touch me. . ."
"What do good girls say?"
"Please."
You would die if he didn't touch you in the next three seconds. You would collapse to the ground, melt into a puddle at his feet, and literally die.
Thankfully, he took pity on you.Â
Eddie kissed you deeply, with the fire of a thousand suns; his hot breath stole through your lungs when he swallowed your moans, leaving you on the verge of combustion. You felt lost in him, touching him here, there, and everywhere as you tried to strip him. Eddie didn't let you. He grabbed your wrists and held them at the small of your back, and he moved you both across the room.
Your lips never once parted. The moment was composed of hot breaths, searing kisses, and teasing bites, weakening your knees terribly. Eddie fell back into a high chair in front of the make-up mirrors. You were desperate to climb into his lap, to wind your legs around him and leech the warmth from his chest, but instead, he turned you and pulled you into his lap, back to chest.
"Eddie,"Â you whispered his name in a sigh, heady with desire. "I want more. . ."
He pressed a kiss against the shell of your ear, smiling in response. His lips were wet, his mouth wanting as he lowered it to your next, sucking a mark into your plush skin. "Open your eyes, sweetness."
Eddie hooked your knees over his thighs, spreading you open and exposing you to the mirror. The tips of his fingers ghosted along the crease of your inner thigh, making your breath hitch in anticipation. "You're beautiful," he said with a hum, nuzzling his nose into your hair. You caught his eyes in the reflection and saw the stark desire that had turned his pupils black, the hunger.
And you saw the expression mirrored in your own reflection. Your skin was flushed the subtlest shade of pink, pussy glistening with arousal. Eddie honestly thought you were the prettiest thing he'd ever fucking seen; so sweet, so innocent.
The stretch of his thick fingers was immediately exquisite, the slick of your arousal coating them entirely. Eddie watched the mirror, transfixed by the way it dropped from around his fingers, sliding down the curve of your ass to darken his denim jeans.
He felt you clench around him, tension seeping through your body as the pain collided with pleasure, twisting through your veins like snakes, intertwined, threatening to consume you from the inside out. You cried out when he crooked them, hips rising in search of more; his other hand cruised up your body, the soft swell of your stomach, cupping a tit in the palm of his hand, thumb teasing your nipple into a hardened peak.
Eddie growled against your neck. He was as hard as a rock, and each jolt of your hips had your arse rutting against his aching cock. You reached back to grab his hair, winding your fingers through his wild curls as the pleasure mounted. You were a guitar, and he had years of practice. He watched the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the way you couldn't sit still as he fucked his fingers in and out of your cunt, the way you clawed at his jeans.
You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the way you moan, loud, wantonly, like a whore. You felt dirtyâlike this was a scandalous secret. The thought of being found was erotically terrifying.
"You getting close, sweetness?"Â Eddie asked; no, he growled the words against your neck, teeth clipping the sensitive skin. "I can feel it. You're squeezing my fingers so fucking tight. Are you thinking about my cock? How much better it'll feel than my fingers?"
As though to emphasise his words, his thrust against you, his erection hard against the globes of your arse, leaving him moaning as his own muscles twisted with desire, pure liquid heat pouring through his bones.
"Cum for me, baby."
He wasn't asking; no, he was demanding.
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#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#rockstar!eddie x innocent!reader#call me little sunshine#call me little sunshine - part one
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Spared (Agatha Harkness x Reader)
Summary: Agatha canât resist herself when you ask her to take you to the Road
Warnings: NSFW, naive!reader, deceptive!agatha, mentions of alcohol, thigh riding (R), oral sex (both receiving), fingering, pet names, minors DNI
A/N: quick and dirty fic i wrote in like a day, inspired by a suggestion from @agathas-wife !
NSFW Tag List: @evilangels-stuff @riobutnotthebirb @academiagaymess @musicalmemesandstuff @shinkomiii @vintagegoddess12 @agnessharknes @jesterofrohan @agathaharknessslut @nickalpatel @junaika21
GIF Credit: @hauntinglesbian
As soon as she laid eyes on you, Agatha knew she had to have you.
You, with your alluring eyes, standing out from the rest of the crowd. You, thatâd came to find her after the show. You, who all but begged her to take you to the Witchesâ Road that she sang about onstage.
You wanted to go on the Road to recover a destroyed family spell book, youâd explained. You werenât unique in this request, of course. For years Agatha had been luring in witches with the promise of a journey on the Road to receive what they most desire. The witch had collected a fair share of bodies through this scheme of hers.
But she had no wish to drain you of your powers like she did everyone else. A pretty thing like you didnât deserve that fate, she was sure. As Agatha led you and the makeshift coven out into a field, she leaned in close to you. âDonât do what they do.â She whispered quickly, before resuming her position at the front of the group. You looked at her, confused, but her face told you not to ask questions.
Agatha began the speech sheâd recited many times before. She smiled at the admiration across your face, your girlish wonder exciting her. You couldnât help it, you found her captivating. She was still wearing her stage getup, and the leather outfit combined with her tousled hair meant she had your undivided attention.
All of you listened intently before singing the song you all knew by heart. But at the end, no door emerged. You could feel the crush of disappointment and you saw Agathaâs mouth twist into a scowl. âNever have I met such a useless coven of witches.â
Her clear disdain stung, and you could tell the other witches were getting upset. âCome on,â Agatha growled. âDid you learn your craft from the Bible?â
Hands began glowing as the other witchesâ anger rose from her jibes. Agatha caught your eye and shook her head almost imperceptibly, and you held off on bringing forth your own magic.
Colourful beams of energy began hitting Agatha, but the witch seemed to be undisturbed. The intensity of the magic hitting her increased, and she stretched out her arms as if she was taking it in. You hardly registered what was happening before the rest of the witches slumped to the ground, their lifeless husks at your feet.
You gasped in horror, looking down at the once-alive witches. âHow did that- Did you-?â
Agatha feigned her own disappointment as she closed the gap between the two of you. âItâs so unfortunate but this happens sometimes.â She sighed, shaking her head. âThe Road can be fickle, and witches arenât patient creatures. Iâve had to learn to be defensive, Y/N.â
Agatha eyed you, trying to gauge your reaction, as your expression morphed from fear to sadness. Seeing you like this only fuelled her desire, and she smirked to herself as she wrapped an arm around you.
âWhy donât we get away from this, hm?â She asked. You nodded, and with a wave of her hand you two were in what you figured was her trailer.
Agatha motioned for you to sit on the couch as she poured a glass of liquor for the both of you. You accepted gratefully before downing it, wincing slightly at the burn.
âIâm sorry about earlier, doll. Iâm trying to improve the ability to conjure the RoadâŠbut until then, itâs what I have to do.â Agatha studied your face, her gaze catching on the pout of your lips.
You grabbed her hand in yours and gave it a squeeze. âThat must be so difficult.â
âYes,â Agatha put on a frown. âSo difficult.â Ever the actress, she willed her eyes to brim with tears.
âOh, Agatha,â your expression was plain sympathy, and it took everything in Agatha to not cackle at how easy this was. âIâm so sorry.â You leaned in to give the older witch a hug. Agatha could feel desire coiling within her as she wrapped her arms around you, breathing in your scent.
As you pulled away from the hug, Agatha brought a hand up to brush hair away from your face. Her fingers came to rest on your chin lightly, forcing you to hold her intense gaze. âDonât be sorry, pretty girl.â
Slowly, she brought her mouth to yours and you found yourself sinking into the kiss. Agathaâs lips were hungry, dominating, and you moaned when her tongue slipped into your mouth.
Agatha pulled away suddenly, and she revelled in how you leaned in, chasing the feeling of her lips. She stood up and sauntered over to the bed at the other end of the trailer, dropping the leather jacket she was wearing to the floor. She continued stripping her clothes as she climbed onto the bed. Settling herself between the pillows, she looked at you expectantly. âComing, doll?â
You felt your breathing quicken as you made your way over to her naked form, illuminated softly by the lights on her vanity. Before you could get on the bed, Agatha stopped you. âAh, ah,â she tutted, motioning with her hand for you to take off your clothes.
Heat rose in your cheeks as you began stripping your clothes off for her. You could see Agatha watching intently, lips parted, as you pulled your panties down your legs before unclasping your bra.
Agatha hummed in approval as you crawled towards her before straddling her lap. Her mouth met yours again, hungrily, and both of your moans filled the small space. She maneuvered under you so that you were straddling one of her legs now, and you groaned at the pressure against your bare pussy.
âOh,â Agatha smirked as you began grinding down onto her thigh, your slick slowly dripping out of you. âFeels good doesnât it bunny?â
Biting your lip, you nodded furiously. âUse your words.â Agatha said, grabbing your chin to force your mouth open.
âYes,â you cried out. âFeels so good.â
Agatha began trailing wet kisses along your jaw. You felt her lick a stripe along your neck with her tongue before she made her way to your tits. Eagerly, she sucked and nibbled at your nipple, using her hand to pinch the other. Agatha looked up at you and could tell you were close. âCome for me, baby. Come on my thigh.â
You groaned as waves of pleasure rocked through you, and you brought your mouth back down to Agathaâs. The older witch moaned, and her hands gripped your waist as she guided you so that you were under her now.
Agatha began trailing kisses down your stomach, her tongue lazily drawing circles as she made her way to your center. Between your thighs, she nearly drooled at the sight of your glistening folds. She traced a finger along them, brushing your clit gently, laughing when you hissed. âMm, donât say youâre too sensitive for me now, bunny.â
Unable to hold herself back any longer, Agatha buried her face between your legs. Her tongue ran through your folds, collecting your juices. She hummed as she savoured the taste, your taste, before she slid two fingers into you and began pumping them in and out. âFuck,â you groaned, the added sensation fuelling the pleasure building inside you.
Agatha marvelled at how your walls squeezed around her digits. Your moans were getting louder, and she wrapped her free arm over your hips, which were beginning to buck up against her. Her tongue swirled over and around your clit, and she picked up a pattern of sucking it into her mouth and releasing.
âAgatha,â you moaned. The older witchâs piercing gaze held yours as you came undone, your back arching off the bed. Agathaâs grip was strong and she held you in place while you rode out the waves of pleasure, her mouth not leaving your center.
As you came down from your high, Agatha moved up from between your legs. But before she could bask in the satisfaction of making you come again, you were straddling her.
âUp for round three already, pretty girl?â Agatha grinned from underneath you. You answered by meeting her mouth with yours, savouring the flavour of your juices. âI need to taste you,â you mumbled against her lips.
You helped her move onto her stomach so that her back was now to you. Agatha moaned softly as you trailed your tongue down her neck sloppily, your lips leaving marks behind. Your hand snaked its way down over her ass to her center, where you rubbed a finger through her folds before pushing it in.
Agatha grunted underneath you at the feeling of your fingers filling her aching hole. Her hands gripped the sheets as you slowly moved your fingers in and out. Your mouth continued its ministrations on the sensitive skin of her neck before nibbling at her ear lobe.
âOh,â Agatha groaned as you quickened the pace of your fingers. You could feel her slick gathering on your hand as the sound of your fingers pumping into her filled the room. âGod, yes, baby.â
You felt her walls clench around you as she came, but you were relentless. Before she could relax you were between her legs, arms under her hips to prop her onto all fours.
âF-fuck,â Agatha groaned when your tongue made contact with her folds. You slurped up her juices, probing her opening with your tongue before flicking her clit. Agathaâs face was pushed into the pillows, her back arched, as you circled her clit before sucking it into your mouth.
You felt her hand reach back and grip your hair, shoving your face deeper into her pussy. âRight there, donât stop- agh, good, good girl.â Agatha cried out as her orgasm shook through her body.
Both of you panting, you collapsed next to her on the pillows. Agatha clasped your face, bringing you in for a deep kiss, her tongue gathering the remnants of her juices from your lips.
âMaybe I could help you,â you mumbled softly.
Agatha smirked. âOh youâve helped me plenty, doll.â
âNo,â you giggled. âWith the Road. I could try and help you in conjuring it.â
âOh,â Agathaâs eyebrows raised. Sheâd nearly forgotten about that whole thing. âYes, youâd be a huge help.â She grinned.
Was it wrong to lie to you? Maybe. But Agatha would be damned if she let morals get in the way of keeping you by her side.
#kathryn hahn#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness x reader smut#agatha harkness smut#agatha harkness fic#agatha harkness imagine#agatha x reader#agnes wandavision#wandavision#agnes x reader#rio vidal#rio vidal x agatha harkness#agatha x rio#rio vidal x reader#rio vidal x you
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I've been listening to a lot of Mötley CrĂŒe lately to hopefully manifest me seeing them in Las Vegas next year. Came up with this while driving, which is how a lot of my ideas come to be recently. Word Count - 1.6k
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
"Come on please, I have no idea what they have planned and it's killing me." He was practically begging you at this point. You roll your eyes as you walk down the next aisle, stacking the next set of 'romantic comedies' that just came in.
"Eddie, it's your birthday, it's supposed to be a surprise. And can you please stop bugging me while I'm working?"
"Yeah yeah sure I'll stop bugging you" he grits his teeth, "if you tell me what they have planned."
You turn around fully facing him, pushing your glasses back up your nose, taking your voice down to a whisper. "Look I truly have no idea what the fuck they have planned so please stop asking. Just be grateful they're doing something with you and you're not spending your birthday alone." You turn back around, making your way to the 'horror' section.
"At least come with me-"
"I can't, I have my bookclub tonight. But come to my place and tell me all about your guys night tomorrow if you're not too hungover."
He huff's his breath up, his bangs moving in the process. "Thanks a lot."
"I'm sure you'll have a blast."
A strip club. A fucking strip club. As much as Eddie appreciated what his friends were doing this is not what he expected. All he wanted was a guy's night in playing D&D and watching movies but no, his friends had to go all out.
The worst part is it was 'dress up night', so the strippers would be in various costumes. His friends thought the better, dress up plus dancing ladies ; what more could anyone ask for?
After a few hours sitting in a booth a few drinks in, an announcement sounded over the DJ speakers ; "alright everyone we have a birthday in the house! We want to welcome our birthday boy in Booth 21 to come on up for a special dance!" As everyone roared with excitement Eddie blushed under the neon lights.
"Why are y'all doing this to me?"
Garth pushes him forward, "Because we love you, NOW GO!" Eddie reluctantly makes his way up and sits on the chair provided for him. He drums nervously on his knees waiting for the song to start.
The next dancer comes to take the stage, dressed in all red, devil horns, and a red laced mask. Her hair is curled, not one piece left undone. She steps into the spotlight, and Eddie swears time halts and he has to take breath in order to steady himself. He is mesmerized. She slowly makes her way over, putting her hands on both sides of the chair. She eyes him up and down smirking to herself and as her song begins to play ; taking control of the room.
Eddie feels like he's fallen under some sort of spell, like something he wrote out for a campaign. He's so enthralled he completely forgot he was in a room with other people. He watches every move she makes ; the way her hips sway, how she doesn't come too close but just enough to tease him, and the way she makes eye contact with him? Forget about it ; Eddie swears he's falling in love with her right then and there, even though this was his first interaction with the mystery woman.
And in the three minutes the song plays, Eddie is so thankful his friends took him out. He tries to memorize every detail of the devil, just in case he decides to come back another time. Maybe on his own? Maybe with buddies again? Who knows, but he just had to remember her. Particular details ran through his head ; the hair style, the color of her eyes, and while she moved her body up against his, he noticed a small birthmark on the left side of her body, ironically shaped like a heart right above her heart ; and be still his own heart. Right when the music fades and the crowd begins to cheer breaking him out of his headspace, she leans in to his ear and with a sultry voice whispers "happy birthday sweetheart" and it's right then and there Eddie could have been shot through the chest by an arrow and he would feel no pain.
His posse of course never let him see the end of it, with constant teasing as the night went on. One thing was for sure, he could not wait to tell you about his night in the morning.
Eddie couldn't wait, he was practically banging at your door at 9:00am. You reach for your glasses on the nightstand, pull your hair in a messy bun and make your way towards the front door. You look through the peephole and Eddie is waving.
"Ed, what the hell-"
"I gotta tell you about last night." He races in, high on adrenaline pacing your living room.
"Good morning to you too-" You shut the front door, "can I please make some coffee first? I'm exhausted."
"Bookclub ran late?"
"Something like that. Want a cup?"
"Sure, thanks." You sulk to the kitchen and make your coffee, wondering what the hell has Eddie all wound up. You make your way back, handing him his cup as he takes a seat on your couch. "Damn, what book are you ladies reading that has you staying up so late?"
"It's nothing. So tell me, how was your birthday?"
"Amazing, they took me to a strip club."
You swallow your coffee, hard. "Oh wow, what an event."
"You're telling me, it was incredible. Well at least, she was incredible."
"Oh god Eddie don't tell me you fell in love with a dancer-"
"You don't understand. There was just something about her, I-I know it sounds corny but it was like magic. I've never felt like that before." He looks around your living room, then reaching over and grabs your shoulders playfully, shaking you. "Am I going crazy?!"
You laugh, "I don't think so. I just find it hilarious that it's a fucking stripper you're talking about."
"Yeah, well-" Just as Eddie begins to move his arms something catches his eye.
A birthmark. On the left side of your body. In the shape of a heart. He looks into your eyes, the same color and sparkle that were under the mask. He looks at your hair, it's normally straight, why does it look curly and wavy?
All these small details come together in his head. He moves his hands off you and runs them through his own hair, piecing everything together.
"So yeah, uh-enough about me...how was...bookclub?"
"Oh god you don't wanna hear about my bookclub. Why-"
"No no, I do..want to hear....about the bookclub. Please tell me." He takes another sip of his coffee, staring at the birth mark.
You follow his eyes, "is there something on me?"
"Hm, no. Just....so, bookclub?"
"Oh you know, just another night of girl talk about a steamy romance novel and too much wine, just the norm." Eddie can't even think straight, all the events from last night come rushing to his head.
You ponder at him wondering if he's okay, "sweetheart are you alright? You're starting to worry me."
Sweetheart, a nickname normally used frequently but now it's different. He jolts up from your couch. "I gotta go. Dustin and I have...stuff-to do."
You're dismayed, just nodding your head. "Um okay, but if you need anything just let me know-"
"Yeah uh thanks. And thanks for uh the coffee and...talk."
He speedily exits your home, and you're left wondering if maybe just maybe...
Just a Few Hours Ago
You stand off stage looking out to the man sitting on the chair. Only to realize it was Eddie.
"Oh shit-"
"What's up girl? Everything okay?" Your co-worker, Jade, comes up behind you.
"I-I can't go out. You take my slot instead."
"What, why? I'm not on for another 20, why do you want to switch?" She signals to Cassie, the DJ, to hold off on the music. Cassie gives a thumbs up and waits.
"I know the guy sitting in the chair, he's one of my friends. I can't...dance for him."
"Why? He won't know it's you, we're all dressed up tonight."
"Yeah but it's just...awkward that I know and he...doesn't."
"Look, I understand where you're coming from but I think you should just do it. He won't know it's you, does he know you work here?"
"No no, he's here with his friends for his birthday," You watch him drum on his legs, probably nerves. "I wouldn't picture him as someone who would want to come out and do this but, there he is."
"So, give him the dance of his life. Something he'll never forget. Remember, you're not going out as yourself." You nodded your head, Jade was right. You signal back to Cassie to start your song when ready. You quietly thank Jade, take a deep breath and take the stage.
24 Hours Later
As you apply your lipstick looking in the mirror, your other coworker Bianca comes in. "Hey B! How was your daughter's band recital?"
She takes a seat next to you giving you a half hug. "It was great! She crushed her solo, I'm so proud of her."
"That's incredible. I can't wait to see the tape!"
"Oh before I forget, Pam wanted me to tell you you got a private dance at 10:30."
"Wait, really?" You ponder, turning around in the chair. "I haven't done a private dance in weeks."
"Guess someone really likes you because they asked for you specifically."
"Oh wow. Really? Okay then, thanks for the heads up."
"No problem, be safe!"
Once 10:30 rolls around you make your way to Room #2, opening the door and stopping dead in your tracks the moment you see who it is, casually lounging on the couch.
"Sup sweetheart?"
Quick Notes - Hope you enjoyed! :) Thank you for reading! Reblogs are much appreciated! Maybe Part 2? idk.
#Spotify#Stranger Things#Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson fanfic#Eddie Munson fluff#Eddie Munson x Reader#Eddie Munson blurb#Kierstyn Writes#Eddie Munson x You#GGG!Universe
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WHAT? LIKE IT'S HARD? ⶠchoso kamo
abstract ⶠthere are six physiological stages of having a crush. you just wish that you didn't have to learn this through first-hand experience. everyone said that choso kamo was a loser in high school, a quiet kid who haunted the campus with no friends. sure, he was brilliantly smart, but he dropped out in senior year. he even managed to break your heart, the glittering prom queen, with the world at your fingertips. imagine your surprise three years later, when you find yourself stuck with him in med school. what's worse? he's actually super hot now!
PART II. of the new years letters, a series of fics dedicated to some of my lovely mutuals! đ
pairing. choso kamo x afab!reader genre tags and warnings reader is practically a blair waldorf prototype (filthy rich, a bit bratty, spoiled), bestfriend!gojo, background gojo x geto, mentions of blood and injuries, med school, MISCOMMUNICATION, angst and hurt, fluff, kissing and making out. sukuna and yuuji cameos.
word count. 17.5k! song inspiration. crush culture â conan gray
a/n. shameless med student insert i rlly projected my full heart and soul into the anatomy lab ick. art belongs to all respective artists [will add credit!] crossposted on ao3 đ
dedication. for my dear kashika, first of all happy (belated) birthday @kasukuna đ wanted this to coincide with ur day but i'm late, i fear!!! you hype me up so much, send the sweetest asks and you're so damn talented that i'm left begging for an ounce of your creativity and amazing mind! your fics are so witty and well thought out and i like to think that you've spawned an incredible dumbass!bf sukuna renaissance on jjk tumblr đ idk if you remember but i sent you an ask on creamflix so long ago like the start of december asking you to choose between characters and au's so i tried lifting this as verbatim as i could from ur answer <3 hope you had the most amazing day ever!!
mp3. ⶠcrush culture makes me wanna spill my gut out, i know what you're doing! tryna get me to pursue ya <3
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You refuse to speak to Gojo Satoru ever again. Not today, not tomorrow, not in this lifetime nor the next. Heâs officially dead to you, figuratively, of course. Unfortunately.
The moment he stops cackling like a deranged hyena in the middle of your bedroom, youâre going to shove him out the door so hard that heâs going to see stars. Youâll block his number, youâll delete every photo of his smug grin, and youâre going to hire an exorcist to cleanse his essence from your life.
Except right now, your best friend is sprawled across your bed, practically writhing as he gasps for air in between bouts of ridiculous, chipmunk-like squeals. Heâs still in his uniform, having crashed at your place after school, with his white shirt untucked, sleeves pushed to his elbows and his tie dangling uselessly around his neck.
âYou are such a child,â you grumble, shoving your sticker-laden journal off your lap with a huff, just so you can aim a precise kick at his ribs. Satoru wheezes dramatically, clutching his stomach like heâs just been mortally wounded in battle.
âItâs -â heâs snickering, slapping the fine-thread sheets with the fervour of one trying to summon a higher power, âItâs just too good. I â oh my god, I really canât breathe! I think Iâm going to pass out.â
Satoruâs rolling over dramatically, dark-tinted sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his hawkish nose, leaving him to look like a cherubic bird with a bad attitude.
âIf only,â you mutter darkly, arms crossed over your own blazer as you glare daggers at the white-haired boy, âItâs not that funny.â
But Satoru just doesnât listen, of course. His grin is wide enough to split his face in half, and every breath that he takes is another affront to your polished dignity, and every stupid wheeze is a reminder that you made the colossal mistake of trusting this man with classified information.
âKeep laughing,â you say, your tone low and menacing as you snatch your phone off your nightstand, âAnd see what happens when I play offence.â
That gets Satoruâs attention, as he freezes mid-snort. Grin faltering just enough to make you feel a small and petty thrill of satisfaction, âYou wouldnât.â
âI would,â you say, already tapping away on your phone, scrolling past the ninety-nine notifications clogging Instagram. A certain raven-haired boyâs name hovers in your mind, one who shares the same initials as Gojo Satoru.
Youâre not above sending a risky message.
Hey! Gojoâs been totally obsessed with you, ever since you bashed his head in with a spiral notebook back in seventh grade, and called him a spoilt, rich kid. He draws love hearts around your name every night. Just thought you should know, XOXO.
âWait!â Satoru bolts upright so fast that his sunglasses fall into his lap, his grin morphing into a scowl as panic flashes in his too-blue eyes, âThatâs playing dirty. Totally unfair.â
âYouâre the one who laughed like a lunatic,â you say sweetly, tilting the phone towards him as if youâre about to hit send.
âYou canât be serious!â Satoru points a long, accusatory finger at you, his dramatic outrage undercut by the way his lips keep twitching, âI mean -â Another snicker escapes him as he buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking again, âLike how? Of all people, you really have a crush on that guy.â
For a fleeting moment, you wonder if itâs too late to enrol in witness protection. It was clearly your mistake, deciding to tell Satoru critically sensitive information. Revealing the name of the boy that you were crushing on.
And yes, your type has turned out to be greasy Tim Burton reject loners who wander around school in faded Lord of the Rings hoodies.
Youâre just totally head-over-heels for Choso Kamo.
âWhatever,â you snap, shoving your phone into the pocket of your school blazer with as much dignity as you can muster under the barrage of Satoruâs relentless cackles, âYou wouldnât understand?â
âUnderstand?â Satoru shifts himself with all the casual arrogance of someone who, unfortunately, has never been truly humbled in his life, propping himself against one of your enormous plush pillows.
The velvet squishes beneath his weight, gold embroidery bunching, but heâs utterly unbothered. âEnlighten me, weâre talking about the same Kamo right? The guy who sits behind you in class, and doesnât so much blink in your direction? The one who looks like heâd rather gargle glass than talk to you?â
Another pillow sails across the bed before you even realise that youâve hurled it. It strikes him square in the face, with a satisfying thwump! Muffling his laugh as he flails, tangled in thick, down stuffing.
âHeâs just shy!â You insist, your voice rising as you get up to pace. Your Prada loafers click against the polished floor, before you kick them off. âAnd he only acts like that when others are around, by the way. He talks to me when itâs just us.â
âOh, sure,â Satoru sits up, wrestling the pillow aside with a theatrical groan. His snowy hair sticks up at angles, like heâs been electrocuted, âThatâs probably because heâs plotting his escape route while you corner him, like a lion closing in on its prey. Poor Kamoâs the gazelle.â
âJust know that Iâm blowing you up in my mind.â
Satoru huffs, âSo, what is your plan now? Are you going to ask him to prom? Are we going to see a proposal for the ages?â
You pause mid-pace, fighting the hot flush that creeps up your neck. It burns brighter as you glance towards the gilded vanity mirror, for that is exactly what you had wanted. You just needed to hear someoneâs validation, âShould I?â
Satoruâs grin falters for a second, replaced with a look of sheer disbelief, âYouâre kidding, right? That kid hates social events. You think heâs going to go with you?â
âWhy not?â Youâre fiddling with the crystal perfume decanters, the bottles of skincare on your vanity, âIâve been dropping hints, okay? Subtle ones, all that manifesting shit.â
âSubtle?â Satoru snorts, âYou mean letting half the football team pile bouquets into your locker? The locker thatâs right next to his? Oh, yeah. Super low-key. Very humble.â
âAt least I have options,â you snap back, flicking on the lights as the sun begins to sharpen its afternoon glare. Warm golden light spills across the room, catching on the ceiling-length silk drapes, âMeanwhile, I hope you end up alone at prom. Making ugly, kissy faces at Geto Suguru, while heâs with someone else.â
Satoru groans, like youâve truly pierced his heart, âCruel. So cruel when provoked,â but heâs propping himself back up on one elbow, âBut hey, if you really do like Kamo, you know that makes him my future brother-in-law or something. Thatâs cool.â
Your gasp is sharp, scandalised, âExcuse me?â
âBut think about it,â Satoru continues, ignoring your sputters, âYouâre practically confirmed to be Prom Queen. Do you really want to drag that guy up on stage with you?â
âI think youâre being judgemental,â you mutter, tugging the drapes close and blocking out the faint twinkle of the city skyline, âHeâd have to be insane not to say yes to me.â
âSomeone is going to deflate that big head of yours one day,â Satoru says, and his voice has softened just enough to make you glance back at him, âYou do know he cuts class a lot, right?â
âWhatâs your point?â
âIâm not being a bitch, I swear,â Satoru holds up his palms defensively, âHe shows up for only half the month, you might want to check on your boy.â
You flop onto the chaise lounge, throwing an arm over your face tragically, âThis isnât the inspiring pep talk that I need right now.â
Satoru leans lazily against the gilded frame of your canopy bed, âHey, itâs not my place to tell you what to do. But if you are that into him, then fine! Just ask him to prom and see what happens. And tell you what? If you ask Kamo, Iâll ask Suguru.â
You narrow your eyes, âWow, this must be serious if youâre out here wheeling and dealing like this. Are you feeling okay?â
Satoru presses a dramatic hand to his chest, his grin morphing into something faux-solemn, âCross my heart. Iâm making a binding vow, like, itâs unbreakable. Life or death.â
âDeal,â you quickly say, ignoring the sudden leap of your pulse, because thereâs no way that youâre letting him see how the sudden time-pressure is making your stomach twist into ugly knots. You point towards the door with a flourish, âAnd as much as I love our time together, I need to get ready. SoâŠout! Chop-chop.â
Satoru groans like youâve just asked him to drag a boulder uphill with his teeth, slumping off your bed in exaggerated defeat. He sluggishly reaches for his discarded backpack from the floor, slinging it over his shoulder, âI still donât get why you bother with working. You and I both know that we donât need it,â he mutters, as if the concept of responsibility personally offends him.
âItâs just babysitting,â you gently correct, shrugging on a cashmere cardigan from the back of your chair, âAnd anyway, you know I need a well-rounded list of extracurriculars for Pre-Med.â
âIâd rather eat my sunglasses, one lens at a time,â Satoru shoots back, adjusting said sunglasses squarely over his face, âInstead of being stuck babysitting brats all evening. Weâre not meant to be saints.â
âItâs just one kid tonight. New family, new house,â you reply, grabbing your bag where it rests by the vanity, âAnyway, I expect a full report on your prom date by tomorrow, Satoru. Iâm not forgetting that vow.â
Satoru pauses in the doorway, with the edges of his grin sharpened into something that makes you pity Geto Suguru in advance, âI never disappoint.â
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You had finally managed to shove Satoru out of the doorway, his obnoxious laughter echoing faintly down the hall. The quiet that follows is a relief, albeit short-lived. Youâre left standing in the stillness of your room, phone in hand, thumb hovering over the text with the address of tonightâs gig.
Honestly, Satoru might have a point. You, the only child of one of the countryâs most obscenely wealthy families, babysitting? Itâs not like youâre chasing pocket money or trying to build character. But medical school applications donât only care about your bank account, thereâs so many extra boxes to tick. Factors like being selfless or dedicated to the community.
The request had been odd from the start. Some child had called you himself, and normally, itâs the frazzled parents who handle that kind of task. His voice had been small, but determined, saying that his brother was out, and he needed a sitter for the evening. Something about the earnestness of it had softened you, though, now you were starting to regret the whole thing â seeing how far out this house was from your own penthouse.
Showing up in the Bentley with tinted windows and your chauffeur had felt a little off brand for this role. So, in the name of relatability, you had popped a piece of cherry gum and a book, taking on the bus. The sticky seats and questionable patrons had almost been enough to make you reconsider, but the suburb itself offered a strange charm.
It was quiet here, too quiet, the kind of place that might have once been picturesque, but it had gone soft around the edges. The homes were older, cozy but tired, with paint peeling in places and lawns that were overrun with weeds. You wrinkle your nose as you step off the bus, weaving through tufts of stubborn greenery and abandoned toys in the yard.
The house that youâre looking for stands a little crooked, but sturdy. Itâs faded shutters are barely hanging on, and a basketball hoop leans precariously over the driveway. Thereâs a small, red toy car thatâs entirely faded and scratched, sitting forgotten near the porch steps.
Just as your knuckles hover over the worn wood of the front door, it swings open with such force that you nearly stumble backwards. A blur of motion catches you off guard, and youâre suddenly face-to-face with a tiny, pink-haired whirlwind.
The boyâs grinning up at you, wide and gap-toothed, with big golden eyes. His hair is wild, a fluffy crown of rosy strands over a dark undercut, and his scraped knees are haphazardly patched up with dinosaur bandages.
âWait here! Iâm going to get my brother!â He chirps, his voice bright and slightly whistly, thanks to the missing tooth. Before you can get a word in, heâs gone, sprinting back inside with the energy of an overeager puppy, leaving you stranded on the porch.
You shuffle awkwardly, glancing down at the scratched paint on the doorframe. There was something endearing about the child, and youâre starting to feel less apprehensive. That is, until the door opens again, and time slows.
Your heart stutters, skips, and then plummets. As if someoneâs dropped you into an industrial freezer. Standing there, with one hand resting lightly on the kidâs shoulder, and an expression thatâs one part confusion and one part disbelief, is Choso Kamo.
Itâs as if the universe has conspired against you, playing its most cruel and ridiculous joke yet. Tall and broad, with tired eyes that sweep over you in slow recognition. Dark mark twitching across his face, like a deliberate smudge of ink.
Chosoâs blinking, startled to see you here, though his usual stoic expression has yet to crack. Meanwhile, your inner monologue is screaming a symphony of pure panic. You can already heal Satoruâs stupid squeals in your head.
The pink-haired boy tugs on Chosoâs arm, âSee, I got a babysitter! Isnât that cool?â
Choso glances down at the kid, then back at you, his lips parting as if to speak.
âUh, hey,â you manage. The picture of eloquence, the master of the verbose elite.
It strikes you, with almost absurd clarity, that youâve never seen Choso outside the campus bubble. No dim library corners, no lab tables cluttered with textbooks, or heavy beat-up laptops parked in front of him. Gone are the oversized hoodies thrown over his school uniform, or the baggy jeans he dons when he forgoes the dress code entirely. Instead, heâs here, standing in the soft glow of the broken porch light, wearing a loose black tee and dark track pants.
His chestnut hair is free from the two greasy, spiky knots that he favours on his head, falling softer around his face. Your traitorous heart lurches, feeling a sharp pang of betrayal.
âYouâre the babysitter?â Chosoâs voice cuts through your spiral. Raspy as always, roughened like rock salt, but thereâs something else threaded into the question. A flicker of irritation, and confusion. As if heâs struggling to reconcile you, with the person standing on his doorstep.
âYou didnât know when you booked?â You shoot back, aiming for casual indifference, but landing somewhere closer to petulant. Your eyes flick to the box heâs holding, with contents that glint faintly in the light. Suspiciously metallic, as if heâs cradling surgical tools.
Choso follows your curious gaze, exhaling sharply, and shifting the box to a nearby table, just out of your line of sight.
âI didnât book,â he grunts, âTold Yuuji to check the ads, and pick one.â
âAnd I picked the best one!â The delighted chirp comes from behind Choso, as Yuuji reappears, practically bouncing with a sunny grin. His golden eyes are locked on the ribbon-wrapped box in your hands, and his expression is lit up with unabashed glee.
You glance down at the box, containing an array of decadent artisan doughnuts. Saffron glaze, coconut cream, pistachio and chocolate. All from that impossibly chic Swiss patisserie downtown. You ignore the dull ache building between your eyes, smiling as you hand the box over, âThese are for you, little man.â
Yuujiâs already snapping his hands for the box, as though you had just delivered a treasure chest of gold doubloons, âCan I have one? Please? Pretty-please?â
Choso glances down at him with a long-suffering look that somehow manages to carry an undertone of fondness, âJust one,â he warns, his voice dry but warm, âFor now.â
Yuuji doesnât need to be told twice, bolting towards the kitchen and clutching the box to his chest like a sacred relic. The faint sound of icing being smacked off fingers echoes from somewhere around the corner.
Choso watches him go, before turning back to you, his posture easing slightly. âThat was nice of you,â he says, his voice softer now, almost tentative, âBut heâs going to crash hard after that sugar high. Good luck.â
You wave off his scepticism with a breezy smile, âIâm good with kids. Iâll manage.â
For a moment, the boyâs expression shifts. Something fleeting and unreadable flickers across his face, a hint of thoughtfulness or something heavier.
Another thought gnaws at the edges of your mind, a tiny spectre of dread wrapped in Gojo Satoruâs smug grin. Two hours ago, though it feels like a lifetime now, you made a pact.
You ask Kamo, Iâll ask Suguru.
At the time, it had seemed like an impossible bluff. But the thing about Satoru is that heâs infuriatingly reliable when he sets his mind to something. No matter the cost.
Which is why youâre here now, sweating under your cashmere sweater. The fabric is suddenly too soft, too warm, clinging to the nape of your neck. You, with half the school population ready to pen sonnets just for a chance to take you to prom. Jocks, debate captains, the crĂšme de la crĂšme of eligible dates. All overlooked in favour of the quiet boy that no-one seems to notice.
The boy whose locker was assigned right next to yours, empty and cold steel. While yours was glittered with Polaroids, and pastel sticky notes, and the occasional folded love letter. The boy that everyone said had no friends, but he was easily the uncontested valedictorian. The boy that you desperately wanted to ask to prom.
Choso is shuffling papers on the table, avoiding your gaze like itâs a laser beam. His movements are slow, and deliberate, but thereâs an edge of tension in the way his fingers linger on a set of silver keys, before he slips them into his pocket.
âWhat?â His voice breaks the quiet, low and rough like gravel underfoot. It startles you out of your spiralling thoughts.
âNothing,â you blurt out, far too quickly. Youâre grasping at straws to keep the conversation going, âWhere are you headed?â
Choso hesitates, a slight hitch in his movements, picking that cardboard box again. For a moment, you think heâs going to ignore your question, but then he mutters, âWork.â
You tilt your head, your curiosity outweighing your better judgement to never press Choso Kamo for more than two sentences in a conversation.
He shifts uncomfortable, and you catch a glimpse of latex gloves tucked neatly inside before he angles it out of view, âIâŠclean up things,â he says finally, his tone clipped as though every word is a concession, âErrands. Iâm a cleaner.â
The kind of response thatâs designed to kill conversation in its track. Itâs vague, annoyingly so, but you let it slide, âOh.â
Youâre this close to spontaneously combusting. The pact, the reason that your hands shake when you catch yourself staring at Choso Kamo for just a second too long. Itâs either now or never. Rip the band-aid before your central nervous system completely betrays you and implodes.
Objectively speaking, youâre a real catch. Second-best grades in the cohort, from an old business dynasty that rivalled the Youngs from Crazy Rich Asians, two-time prom queen with med-school practically knocking on the door. Yeah, a dream. College applications adored you. Surely, Choso would have had to be running on a cloneâs brain stitched into his head to say no.
Yet, somehow, it doesnât make your heart beat any less erratically. It doesnât erase the hollow pit thatâs clawing at your insides. And now, youâre wishing that you had asked for advice from someone with an ounce of finesse. Like Shoko, or Utahime. Not your best friend who called himself The Honoured One.
You clear your throat, the taste of artificial cherry gum still lingering, âSo, are you going to prom?â
Choso snorts, the sound entirely dismissive. But he seems to realise that youâre not joking, flicking you a glance, like heâs deciding to humour you, âWhatâs it to you? Need me to vote for you to be prom queen?â
You roll your eyes, fighting the flush creeping up your Burberry sweater, âDidnât I already ask you to do that, like, two months ago?â
His lips twitch, barely, like heâs holding a smile back under layers of indifference, âYeah. You pestered me three times. And I actually did it.â
You latch onto the softer tone in his voice, âSo, are you going to go, then?â Youâre watching him, almost desperate for a sign, for anything other than no.
Chosoâs shoulders tense, âCanât.â
âCanât?â The word slips out of your mouth before you can stop it, incredulous, âWhat do you mean canât? Why? You need to study or something?â Youâre trying so hard to sound indifferent, like youâve got a roster of dates lined up. And well, you do. But this is the only one that you want. The panic creeping into your voice betrays you before you even realise it.
âNo,â Choso replies, his tone quieter, âI really just canât go.â
A weight drops in your stomach, heavy and cold. Is this what rejection feels like? The thought hits like a wave, leaving you breathless. Your heartâs flipping in your chest like itâs teetering on the edge of cliff, seconds away from freefalling into nothing.
You inhale sharply, steeling yourself for the words that are about to spill out.
âI want you to be my date for prom.â âI canât go because I dropped out.â
The words slam into each other, and for a moment, everything freezes. Chosoâs mouth has fallen open, the curve of his lips slack with shock. As though as someoneâs hit the pause button on him, mid-thought. You blink at him, your brain becoming a skipping CD. Round and round, never quite catching the beat.
âWhat did you just say?â Your brows knit together in a sharp pinch, like your face canât decide whether to wince or frown. But Choso just grimace, lips curling into a tight line as his shoulders stiffen.
âYou first.â
Your fingers fidget around the cream Van Cleef that rests on your throat, tracing the cool edge of the pendant. Itâs one of your motherâs newer gifts, the kind that comes with all the frills and none of the warmth. Her true transactional brand of maternal affection.
âI wanted to ask if youâd go to prom with me, as my date,â It spills out of you in a jumbling mess, like youâre tripping vowels and consonants over each other. Chosoâs eyes widen, but you barrel on before he can interrupt, âI mean, I get it if you think itâs lame or boring, or you just donât want to go. But I promise my friends are actually really nice, and you can sit with us.â The rest of your monologue trails off, crumbling to dust, âI just really wanted to ask you.â
You wish to sink into the floor, like the soft earth will swallow you whole. You can almost picture Satoruâs ridiculous proposal to Geto Suguru, no doubt involving fireworks or an airplane trailing a banner.
The air is so still, you can hear the faint crackling of Yuujiâs incessant doughnut quest from across the small house, his movements clumsy and unintentionally loud as he rips open cellophane for more than one sweet treat.
Chosoâs shifting slightly, and thereâs a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. The pink hue is a stark contrast to his usual sickly pallor. Even his ears are a shade darker, and his jaw tightens like heâs chewing on something bitter and struggling to swallow it down. Itâs hard to tell if heâs upset or just lost. Or somewhere in-between.
âYou wanted to go with me?â His voice is low, hoarse, like the idea is too outlandish for him to even process. You donât know whether to laugh or apologise.
âMhm.â Itâs all you can manage, your throat suddenly dry and tight.
âI dropped out of school two days ago,â Choso mutters, as he runs a hand through his dark hair. Heâs glancing at you, with the ghost of an apology flickering across his expression, but the shock that you canât seem to mask makes him wince, âLook, itâs not a big deal. And itâs nice that you asked, butâŠâ
âDropped out? Like, entirely out of school?â Your voice cracks, each word climbing higher like youâre stepping on a broken escalator, âWhy? What happened?â
Never let anyone tell you that teenage love is simple, or wholesome. Full of first crushes, and sweet moments. Because this? It feels like someone ripped the floor out from under you, the air yanked from your lungs, leaving you stranded. And itâs not a pleasant feeling, being denied something that you want, for the first time in your life.
Choso shrugs, like heâs been answering this question a thousand times already. Though, youâre sure that this is the first time heâs said it to out loud to anyone, âFamily stuff. Just had to.â
You try to piece this together, for this house does smell faintly of stale coffee, and the worn leather of the couch has clearly seen better days. You can tell, on some level, that something is off. That thereâs no parental figure in sight for little Yuuji, just the harsh edges of whatever it is that Choso seems to carry on his own.
You can feel the words bubbling up again, stupid and reckless, âBut you know you just canât leave. Youâve got the top marks in the class, Choso. And you know that you were on a scholarship, right? For one of the most elite schools in the country? How are you ever going to get that again?â
The second they leave your mouth; you hear how self-righteous and insensitive you sound. You already regret it, almost reaching up to slap your hands over your face.
Chosoâs expression darkens, his face tightens. Like a storm cloud rolling in, as his lips pull into a tight and angry line, âBack off,â he snaps, voice suddenly sharp enough to cut, âYou donât know a damn thing about my life.â
His sneer twists, not with malice, but something deeper. Harder, like heâs being chewed up by all the things he never got to say before, âDonât worry, though. Iâm sure theyâll make a big, shiny tiara for when they name you valedictorian. Maybe, itâll match your prom dress.â
âHey!â Your eyes well up, stupid heat of tears prickling behind your eyes, and swelling a thick lump in your throat, âThatâs not what I meant.â You cannot believe that youâre tearing up, over this. Over wanting something that you canât have, and someone who seems to have more to lose than you ever thought possible.
Chosoâs lip curls into a half-sneer, but thereâs a flicker of something else there. His posture shifts, as if heâs trying to fold in on himself. He lowers his voice, still low and uncomfortable, but careful. Careful, because his little brother is just down the hall.
âI donât need your pity, okay? Or your help.â His fingers grip the metal of the net door, âI have to go now. Just look after Yuuji.â
The heavy clang of steel on mesh echoes in your ears, sharp and final. The sound lingers like a ringing in your skull as you stand there, utterly paralysed as your mind scrambles to catch up with the wreckage of what just happened. Your five-year crush crashing down in five minutes.
Your feet move, and you find yourself in the bare dining room. Yuujiâs perched at the table, with a doughnut half-eaten in his hand, a mess of pistachio cream smeared across his chin like a brave trooper. Thereâs an iPad, an old, scratched model, with a silicone tiger case, propped up in front of him. The screen is flashing with something, like blueberries. Bouncing in time with some peppy tune.
âDid Choso leave for work?â Yuuji asks, utterly oblivious to the emotional landmine that his brother left in your hands. His eyes are wide, curious, the innocence of a kid who still thinks the world works in neat, little boxes.
âYeah,â you say, forcing a smile, âHe works a lot, huh?â
âOh, yeah,â Yuuji mumbles through a mouthful of pastry, sugar clinging to his lips, âHe always gets upset when Uncle Kunaâ calls him in. Even after school.â
Choso has never mentioned an uncle. Or a brother, for that matter. But then again, why would he? You had never even asked for his number, never bothered to learn anything beyond what was right in front of you. You realise, with a strange pang of guilt, that youâve built your entire image of infatuation with Choso, from incomplete sketches. Filling in the blanks with whatever fits into the tiny box youâve kept him in.
âHey, do you have Netflix?â Yuujiâs voice cuts through your thoughts, bright and eager. âI want to watch How to Train Your Dragon. Itâs Fushiguro and Kugisakiâs favourite movie!â
The names are unfamiliar, but Yuujiâs excitement is infectious. You cannot help but smile at the boy, his messy hair and too-big shirt. Itâs hard not to be fond of such a kid. You take the iPad from his sticky hands, logging into the app. All the while, chasing yourself around mentally with a baseball bat for the biggest fumble of the century.
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If last night felt like a disaster, this morning was just the encore performance. And you were the unwilling star. Just the effort of peeling yourself out of bed felt like an Olympic event. And facing your reflection of swollen eyes and blotchy skin felt like punishment for sins that were way out of your paygrade.
Reluctantly, youâre tugging on your blazer, and clipping a barrette into your hair. Thereâs a sparkling, diamond tennis bracelet fastened around your wrist. All little things that you need to don like armour, to face your senior year, the student population and the empty locker that would remain untouched next to yours.
Satoru and Shoko are the first faces that you spot in the crowd, and Satoruâs practically bouncing down the hall, âOh, yeah, I got it locked in,â he announces, cheeks flushed with an absurdly boyish grin, âI got it in the bag.â
Heâs sliding his sunglasses down just enough to peer at you, wordlessly handing you his coffee cup, as is your morning ritual. The overly sweet, creamy warmth does nothing to ease the ache in your chest, and your lip-gloss stains the edge of the paper.
âWhat about you, eh?â Satoru chirps, but you must look blatantly devasted. Because your best friendâs grin falters, the corners of his mouth pulling down.
âWait, youâre joking right?â His voice is marred with disbelief, and his eyes scan the hall like heâs trying to spot someoneâs dark head of hair, âWhere is he? Jughead Jones lookinâ ass? Shoko, do you know where Choso Kamo sits? Because Iâm going to give him a real piece of my mind and ââ
You cut him off, abruptly shoving the coffee back into his warm hands, âItâs fine. He dropped out school, anyway.â
Shoko hums beside you, her fingers absentmindedly twirling a strand of cinnamon-brown hair. The chipped polish on her nails catches the fluorescent light, âProm queen and valedictorian in one year? Not a bad run for you.â
You glare at her, and Shokoâs doe-eyed expression softens. The breeze from the open window catches her sleek hair, making it sway gently, and she shifts. Voice dropping to something quieter, more thoughtful, âThat really does suck, though. Sorry.â She sounds like she means it now, her usual flippancy up in smoke, âI didnât even know you liked him like that. Not until Gojo told me, like, two hours ago.â
Your eyes snap to Satoru who, for once, has the good sense to shut his mouth.
Shokoâs voice is subdued, âI wonder if it had anything to do with him being called into admin.â
âWait, when?â Satoru interrupts. Heâs taking another long slurp of his sweet mocha, the froth giving him whiskers.
âThree days ago,â Shoko shrugs, âSome big guy rolled up to the office. Demanded to see the principal. No idea who he was, but he was important. And rich. Like you need to be super wealthy to call the shots in a school for the children of the top one percent.â
You must look tragic, because even Shoko pauses mid-chew. Her lollipop moving from one side of her mouth to the other. She looks at you, really looks at you. You can see the careful shift in her demeanour, as though sheâs considering the most diplomatic answer that she can offer you to avoid making things worse.
âWell, you donât have to go to prom with anyone, right?â Satoru says, the words hanging awkwardly in the air like a balloon thatâs just lost its helium. His consolation is well-meaning, but a bit clueless. But now, his sunglasses are perched atop his head now, leaving his eyes exposed. Icy blue, framed by lashes so long that they practically flirt with his eyebrows. For once, thereâs a flicker of real concern in them, clouds passing over clear skies.
âI know,â you gripe, your voice flat as you find yourself glaring at a group of juniors who are skipping by, with their phones out in unison, clicking away like itâs a competition. Fantastic. You can already see the gossip Instagram stories by lunch, wondering what happened to you. Rumours milling about the reason for your glum expression.
Shoko shifts her heavy bag onto her shoulder, patting your arm. âIâll see you at lunch. My treat,â she says, turning her heel for the Chemistry building. Leaving you alone with Satoru, as Shoko quickly picks her pace up to catch her Honours class.
âSo,â you start, keeping your eyes on him out of the corner of your vision, watching how his fingers twitch around the coffee cup, âHow did it go with Geto Suguru?â
Satoruâs shifting, as though heâs trying not gloat, but clearly bursting to tell you, âIt was nice,â which is an unusually subdued, sensitive explanation from Satoru. The one who can take five hours to tell a story that you could wrap up in ten minutes. âHe was really friendly. More than I thought he would be.â
âThat is nice.â Youâre forcing some perk back into your voice, but it comes out rather weak, âLike, genuinely.â
Satoru crumples the empty cup in his hand, tossing it into a nearby trashcan. Then, he shoots you a sharper look, âDid you actually talk to Choso, like, in-person? How did that go?â
You exhale, âTurns out I was babysitting his little brother,â and Satoruâs eyes widen slightly, âHe was fine. And then he wasnât. I asked him to be my date, and told me he dropped out. I said somethingâŠstupid. And now heâs going to hate me forever.â
Satoru stares at you, his gaze sharp, as though heâs dissecting you. And you swear that he can see right through your skin, right into your bones. Itâs moments like this that make you feel like maybe your best friend has a sixth sense, some secret radar for picking up on these things.
âWow,â he murmurs, a touch of something in his voice, âIt really got you bad, huh?â
You bristle, a mix of annoyance and embarrassment flooding your chest. Youâre straightening your shoulders, but itâs all too obvious and so fucking frustrating, âYeah, well, I donât even know why it matters so much.â The bite in your voice is more directed at yourself, than him.
Satoru doesnât flinch, just tilts his head, and heâs quiet. Itâs a weird look on him, soft concern, âYou genuinely really liked him that much?â
The truth sticks to your throat as your chest tightens, and your eyes blur. It would be nice to tell Satoru that you didnât really care that much. That it was never fully that serious, but the lie wonât leave your lips. The lump in your throat is palpable, and all you can do is sniffle, âYeah. I did.â
âDo you want to cry?â Satoruâs voice is gentle enough to catch you off guard.
You open your mouth to retort, something sharp and defensive. But before you know it, tears spill as your chest constricts. Itâs sudden, like a storm that breaks on the horizon.
And just like that, your best friend pulls you into him. For once, the wild energy that crackles off him is gone, replaced by something quieter and more unwavering. You can feel his shoulder under your cheek, soft and warm, salt staining the expensive fabric. And if anyone does see you sob into Gojo Satoruâs arms, while the white-haired boy pats your back, no one says a word.
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But to borrow a line from Bangtan Sonyeondan, life goes on. The next few months slip by like the kind of indie film that youâd see at film festival. Itâs bittersweet, and thereâs a melancholy that everyone can taste in the air, especially as you all realise that this last blue spring of youth is slipping through fingers like sand.
In this haze of time, you discover a few things that you didnât expect. For instance, Geto Suguru is, in fact, far more than the tall and brooding figure that you once shrugged off. Heâs the stillness to Satoruâs sharper teeth, the quiet that counters the blue eye of the storm. Heâs soft-spoken, with an easy patience that tempers Satoruâs edges. Heâs become a bit of a constant presence, as they always bicker and makeup in a sort of perpetual cycle.
Spring arrives like a first kiss. Itâs hesitant, not rushing in. Just tiptoes around you, tentative enough as it coaxes you out of winterâs gloom. Before the flurry of sparkly gowns and speeches, thereâs Utahimeâs birthday to celebrate. Itâs supposed to be a relaxed affair, she insists that she has no desire for fuss. But you all show up anyway, surprising her with a giant, pastel cake that takes up nearly half the table.
Her laugh is loud, and carefree, mixing with the salt of the ocean breeze on this beach trip. Her black hair whips around her face, even as she blushes at the attention. Sheâs protesting, but itâs swallowed by laugher, by the sound of waves breaking against the shores.
The awards and titles are all well and good, prom queen and valedictorian. A shiny, little stamp on your high school resume, a golden ticket to the next chapter of your life. But when anyone brings it up, or someone presses too hard on the subject, you shift uncomfortably, your fingers toying with the edge of your pre-med acceptance letter like it just might tear under the pressure of your grip. No-one talks about how youâve been visiting your locker less and less.
Satoru, of course, loudly denies crying at graduation, even as salty, shiny tears tack to his cheeks. Theyâre practically immortalised in every digital snapshot that you take. But for now, heâs too busy wrapping everyone in a bear hug, clutching the group that itâs the last time heâll ever see them. Nanamiâs already peeling him off, shaking his head with a worn sigh.
It's late in the morning after the graduation ceremony, as you all pile into cars, driving to a riverside cafĂ©. Itâs one of those places where people with money go to prove that they have money, to prove that even their breakfasts are above the meals of the common folk. But you all sit there, with the graduation ribbons still pinned to your lapels. Thereâs the debate over who cried the most during the ceremony (Gojo, easily, though Haibara is a close second) and whoâs the one who peaked in high school. Everyone unanimously votes for Geto, who sulks as he tosses his hair out of his face, ever the drama queen.
âBullshit,â heâs grumbling, âJust you wait. Youâll see what I accomplish in ten years.â
Satoru grins, all teeth and lazy confidence, âYeah, what? Youâre going to start running a pyramid scheme cult?â
Utahimeâs voice cuts through the chatter, her white ribbon flouncing as she leans towards you, blinking at the empty space in front of you, âWhereâs your food?â
You wave her off with a smile, âItâs fine. You guys can go ahead and start, Iâll just go and check.â
You hear Satoru choke around a mouthful of food, already bulldozing half his way through his plate like a bottomless pit.
Thereâs a pretty glass display at the front, filled with delicate chiffon cakes that glisten in the soft light. You wonder if you should have just ordered one, perhaps to share with Nanami. You know he likes desserts like this.
âCan I help you?â
Your pulse stutters as you bite your tongue, heart crashing against the rocks. You soothe your tongue over the tang of iron that blooms in your mouth from the stupidly familiar voice.
Choso Kamo.
Youâd like to say that he looks good, but the truth is, he doesnât. The hollows beneath his eyes are far more accentuated than you remember, and his hair is pulled back into a messy knot at the back of his head. Even his pale skin has taken on a sicklier pallor than usual.
âHello?â His voice cuts through the silence, sharper this time, carrying an edge that takes you by surprise.
âOh, uh, hey. Choso. Just wanted to check on my order,â you say, like itâs a poor prelude to small talk. It sounds far too chipper, almost artificial.
Chosoâs expression tightens immediately, in an ill-omen. Itâs as if heâs irritated that you even have the nerve to recognise him, to stand there in his space. He doesnât meet your gaze, his attention flicking back to the screen in front of him with a quickness that almost feels deliberate.
âHello.â Heâs muttering back, more out of obligation than any real interest. Like itâs a formality.
The sharp, hollow feeling in your chest expands, deeper than youâre willing to admit. The last time you saw him, you had been standing at his door, and he had slammed it in your face.
âWhat are you doing here?â Your question is clumsy, hanging in the air, and far too intrusive for a stranger.
âWhat?â Choso doesnât even look up. But then he does, just briefly, his gaze flicking to yours with the same disinterest. He shrugs, as though the query is too trivial for any answer.
âItâs justâŠitâs been a while, yeah?â Youâre not quite sure how to word and I want to know how youâve been.
âIâm fine,â Choso replies quickly, dismissing your question with a wave of his pale hand, âJust working around here and there.â
Itâs offbeat, landing wrong. You donât think itâs unfair to think that everyone expected more of him. One of the smartest, most brilliant minds in your cohort, who had been a shoo-in for medicine, alongside you.
The bustle of patrons behind you intensifies, but you stubbornly dig your heels into the polished tile, âHowâs Yuuji?â
The mention of his younger brother softens him, just a little. A small, bashful smile tugs at the corner of Chosoâs pink lips, hesitant, like he doesnât quite know how to let it show, âHeâs good. Says you were the âbestestâ babysitter that he ever had. Even asks about you sometimes.â
You fight the urge to smile too openly, not wanting to seem too affected by the gentleness that suddenly lingers in the space between you two, âIâm glad. AndâŠare you still working for your uncle?â
Itâs as if youâve thrown a switch, causing all the warmth to evaporate from his features. His jaw tightens, as his brow furrows. Settling a coldness over his expression, âWho the fuck told you that?â
You blink, surprised at the sudden harshness of his words. âYuuji mentioned it,â you murmur, quieter now, careful. The hesitation in your voice isnât feigned, and you realise youâve broken the golden rule of ânever push Choso Kamo about his personal life.â
Choso doesnât seem keen on letting you explain, as his glare cuts through you, âIf you wanted to snoop into my life, just ask me your stupid questions, okay? Donât drag my little brother into it.â
The accusation lands like a slap, stinging you more than you expected, âWhat? I wasnât snooping,â you insist, defences flaring open, âHe told me that himself. I didnât even ask him anything, and I didnât ask anything else!â
He just stares at you, eyes burnished and unreadable, but he seems mollified by your answer. Like he knows that your explanation is sincere, but the chasm is nigh impossible to bridge, âSure. Okay.â
You donât know how to respond, opening your mouth to ask what on earth has made him so unreasonable. To dig the tips of your almond nails into his long sleeves, and demand that he treats you as adoringly as everyone else in your life does. But he interrupts you first, âYour orderâs coming.â
Chosoâs tone is clipped, colder. As though heâs already moved on, âAnd Iâve got a lot of other customers to serve. Nice seeing you again, or whatever.â
A dismissal, if there ever was one. The embarrassment rushes up your neck, hot and insistent, but you bite your tongue. You let your heels clack a little more loud than necessary, as you stomp away. Youâre swivelling your head to deliver a final, withering stare but his gaze is no longer on you.
Chosoâs looking at the table where everyone is sitting. Where your friends are laughing, leaning into one another as they snap their final graduation photos. Where Geto has his lips pressed to Satoruâs cheek in a rare display of affection, arms linked with Shoko and Utahime. Where even Nanamiâs smiling, the sunlight leafing through his golden waves of thick hair.
Thereâs no anger in Chosoâs eyes, or even that solitary, brooding stare. He looks almostâŠsad. Profoundly sorrowful, in a deep and aching way that makes your anger dissipate.
Heâs looking at your friends, at their graduation certificates stacked in sleeves on the table, as though heâs lost something that he never had. It aches your chest tightly, a knot pulling at your heart.
Once, he was Choso Kamo â the quiet boy you liked in school. Then, he became Choso from the cafĂ©. Soon, he'll be someone whose name you won't even remember in a few years, someone who's path you'll probably never cross again.
You find yourself blinking furiously, feeling as though you've just lost something yourself, but you fight back the salt that threatens to blur your vision before your friends see.
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THREE YEARS LATER.
Your day had started off deceptively well, like a glass of water poured perfectly. Clear, refreshing, with no chance of spilling. The sun was shining, your skin looked like it was having its best day, and there wasnât a cloud in sight. But of course, it didnât take long for things to spiral, as they tend to do.
It was like playing a real-life Sisyphus game, except instead of a boulder, it was a series of small, dumb annoyances that you couldnât dodge fast enough.
First, Satoru had texted to cancel lunch. And to be fair, you werenât that bothered. He had been talking all week about a world-renowned professor dropping in on his fourth-years Honours class, something about nuclear engineering. And you knew that Satoru lived for anything involving theoretical mass and explosions.
Then, your favourite tote bag had decided it was done with you. The strap had snapped off with a surprising, sudden violence. Your beautiful new water bottle had hit the floor with a sickening, metallic thud. Pens rolled across the tiles like little soldiers. You had been kneeling, already late for class, muttering curses under your breath when your phone had rung.
Your mother.
And you already knew that tone well enough, that voice that could cut through steel.
âYou missed the charity dinner? You know how embarrassing it is for your father and I to come up with excuses, just to explain your absence ââ
Yeah, like you had personally insulted her by choosing to study for your exams, instead of milling around an event hall. You tried to explain, but it was like trying to explain Satoruâs quantum physics to the wall. Totally pointless, and not worth your time and energy. And naturally, her tone escalated, because thatâs what she just tended to do. Nevermind that she was calling from some ritzy hotel in Europe, crackling over the phone.
And then, just when you thought it couldnât get any worse, the course coordinator paged you in for a meeting. You were still in your first few weeks of medicine, so you had been scratching your brain for what he could have possibly wanted, snapping gum as you rushed and clacked up stone steps, breezing through campus.
Now, here you were. Standing in front of his desk with your arms crossed, almost petulantly. The room smelled like old coffee, and expired textbooks as the man coughed, leaning back against his desk, littered with academic transcripts and stacked envelopes.
âLook, thereâs no denying that youâre one of our most brilliant students. All the tutors and lecturers admire your work ethic,â and the professor stopped, and you grimaced. Ah, here it comes.
âBut, youâve chosen Ieiri Shoko as your partner for the past three years, am I correct in saying this?â His dark eyes are narrowed behind wiry glasses, as you frowned.
âYes.â
Shoko had practically excelled in Pre-Med alongside you, surviving late night study rants, extreme caffeine dependency, and textbook-induced breakdowns.
âYou work together well,â the coordinator adds, looking like he was trying to make this sound like a compliment, âBut you need to branch out. Develop your versatility. In a noble field, such as medicine, itâs important to be able to work with others. Not rule and conquer.â
You blink at him, âBranch out? I donât know how else to say this, but I donât like anyone else in my class. And Shoko and I are easily the best.â
He ignores your comments, âSo, Iâve thought it better to move you to a new stream. Instead of Tuesdayâs clinical practice, Iâll have you attend the Thursday session, starting today. Thereâs a new partner for you, and I assure you, he is just as competent as Ieiri Shoko,â
You doubt it. No-one can handle the sight of infected perineum stitches like Shoko can.
It seems thereâs only one card left for you to pull, âMy grandfather paid for this entire wing of the building. His name is on the plaque outside.â
The coordinator doesnât even budge, âThat may be true. But you still need to grow. You will never learn if you just continue to stick with what is familiar.â
You leave the office with a sour taste in your mouth, clutching the crisp sheet of paper thatâs already being emailed to your student account, no doubt.
âCollaboration,â youâre muttering under your breath, âBuilding character, my ass.â Youâre squinting at the page, trying to decipher the name of your new stream partner, but itâs obscured by a hastily scribbled note with your classroom change.
The faint ache in your neck refuses to budge, and you roll your shoulders with a sigh. Pushing through the double doors to the anatomy facility. Immediately, the frigid air bites at your cheeks, sharp and unwelcome. These buildings always feel like high-tech mausoleums, with tables lined up like gleaming altars. Surfaces cold enough to numb your fingertips if youâre careless.
The faint, cloying scent of formaldehyde hangs in the air, sharp and chemical. Itâs supposed to preserve the cadavers, but it has the unfortunate side effect of making your stomach growl at the worst times. Hunger, and embalming fluid. A combination so disgusting that you try not to dwell on it for too long.
Your lab coat is rubbing uncomfortably against your arms, and your Loewe sweater is bunched awkwardly around your elbows. Itâs a long-suffering sigh that echoes the hall as you shove the heavy barred doors to the classroom.
The tutor is a stalk-like man, with perpetually knitted brows, glancing up at you as you enter, âAh, yes. The transfer,â heâs brisk with it, âGot the note about you moving to my Thursday stream. Just sit over there, for now. Yeah, there. Your partner should be along soon. If heâs a no-show, Iâll reassign you to a different table.â
You nod wordlessly, scanning the room as you head to your non-descript, assigned corner. The faces at the other tables blur together, some curious and others indifferent. Most focused on pushing worksheets under steel clipboards.
Great. A room full of strangers with all the warmth of wet cardboard.
Sliding into your plastic seat, you pull your notebook out and flip it open, the pages crinkling and echoing in the too-quiet room. Itâs a minute, maybe two of shifting uncomfortably in your chair, feeling the awkward hollowness of sitting alone at a two-person station. But the door swings open with a groaning creak.
âPerfect! Full class today, thatâs what I like to see. Just head to your usual spot, and Iâll start passing the models around.â
You glance up, squinting at the figure whoâs broad enough to cause a solar eclipse of the fluorescent light.
âGet out,â you blurt.
âThis is my class,â Choso Kamo stares at you, equally bewildered. His bronze eyes widen briefly, flickering from your face to the lab tables, to the unaware tutor.
âDonât care. Get out,â you scowl, speechless for a moment, âNo. Donât sit. This is my assigned stream. Donât tell me that youâre my ââ
âPartner?â Choso finishes for you, deadpan.
âOf all the people in this entire school ââ
âIâm starting to feel offended,â Choso cuts in, already pulling out the chair beside you, and slinging his bag down with an air of resignation.
âWhat are you doing here?â
Chosoâs lips twitch, but he doesnât quite smile, âIâm getting an education. Obviously.â
Your gaze flickers away from his unfairly handsome face, following the motion of his hand as he shifts. Thereâs a single black hair tie, looped around his wrist.
But something just does not add up for you. This isnât just any medical program. Itâs the kind of rigorous, cutthroat, soul-consuming degree that requires three years of a top GPA from Pre-Med. Itâs designed to weed out the faint hearted before the first semester is even over. Graduates here donât just get jobs. They get titles, and invitations to Westminster where the British monarch probably bestows them with Dame, or Sir, or some other archaic title.
And Choso Kamo is a high school dropout, with nary a certificate to his name.
âYou got into medicine?â Itâs as blunt as you can get.
âWhat? Like itâs hard?â
âDonât quote Legally Blonde at me,â You snarl, wordlessly taking the tray of silicone gashes from the tutor.
Choso blinks, as though heâs truly stumped by your hostile reaction, âThen donât ask stupid questions.â He seemsâŠdifferent now. Sharper, and less apologetic. Thereâs a streak of confidence thatâs as unnerving as it is infuriating. Is he taller? He seems taller.
You exhale sharply, a sound between frustration and resignation. Itâs not like you can go up to the course coordinator now and say, âOh, sorry! I canât be in this stream because my new partner is the boy who broke my heart in high school. I cried and threw up on my best friendâs blazer for three days.â
But youâve definitely given the group chat enough material to fuel their devious amusement for days, even weeks. Youâre practically writing the jokes for them.
With a defiant swing of your arm, you hoist your bag onto the desk. The soft leather tanking against the sterile surface, like a gauntlet being thrown. You slide it firmly into position, the strap dangling just enough to make a point. That this is your line in the sand.
âDonât move one centimetre over your side of the desk.â
Choso just rolls his eyes.
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âTheyâŠmodify bacterial ribosomes.â
âWrong.â
You sigh and tap the edge of your notebook with the tip of your mechanical pencil. The rhythm is irregular, your thoughts too scrambled to produce anything like a steady beat.
âThey inactive carbapenems,â you try again, your tone pitched with the kind of hope that knows itâs already on life support.
âNope.â
Chosoâs shaking his head, the movement loose and lazy, and it sends strands of his chestnut hair tumbling into his face. The harsh fluorescent lights above make his hair shine with an almost metallic lustre, and as he tugs a thick sweater over his broad frame, your gaze drifts.
The fabric of his white top is riding up, revealing a pale stretch of skin. Thereâs the faintest dusting of dark hair trailing downwards, and your eyes snap back to the textbook. Your cheeks flushed, for the briefest second as your resolve breaks.
âJust tell me the answer.â
Choso exhales, in a soft and patient sound, sliding the textbook your way. Heâs tapping the page with his finger, his blunt nail landing on the highlighted sentence.
âExtended-Spectrum Beta-Lactamases hydrolyse a wide range of beta-lactam antibiotics, including third-generation cephalosporins. This contributes to antibiotic resistance.â His voice is smooth, but it carries that faint rasp that always makes it sound like heâs just woken up.
âI was close.â
âClose doesnât get you any marks,â Choso replies, deadpan.
Your retort dies on your glossy lips, when a sharp shhh cuts through the air. You glance up, spotting a student two tables away, glaring at you over the rim of her stylish tortoiseshell glasses.
Your next sip of coffee is deliberate, making an obnoxious gurgle as you drain the bottom of your cup. Chosoâs eyes flick to the order scribbled on the side, Caramel Crunch Latte, Extra Whip. His lips twitch, but what can you say? Satoruâs dropped a habit or two on you over the years.
This has become the routine over the past few weeks. The outright disdain you had initially felt had eroded, once you had realised that you were truly stuck with the man. It had become something closer to a begrudging truce, but âtruceâ may be too generous a word.
The two of you found yourselves studying together. Regularly. Choso needed to interact more with people, and less with his old, dusty laptop. And you needed a study partner that could match your wits. Unfortunately, Choso seemed entirely oblivious to the reason you nursed an ancient grudge against him, choosing to accept your bad attitude in stride.
It doesnât help that Choso is, well, hot now.
In high school, he had always been cute in that underdog way. Endearing, if not exactly the type to inspire confidence. He had been the subject of your sweet trope-like fantasy that you would nurture during long, dull classes.
You, the radiant prom queen, standing under a canopy of glittering lights, extending a perfectly manicured hand to him. The shy, awkward loser whoâd clearly underestimated how gorgeous his messy hair and tendency to trip over his own words were. Ugh, now youâre not sure who had been the bigger loser.
But three years had passed, and the Choso that sat across from you now bore only a passing resemblance to that daydream. Time, it seemed had been suspiciously kind to him. Unfairly, even. His frame was lean but undeniably defined. His shyness remained, because you knew that he refused to correct the woman at the food trucks whenever she got his name wrong, but it had softened into something less clumsy, and more self-contained. Far less teenage angst.
The dark violet smudges beneath his eyes were still there, giving him that haunted and sleepâdeprived look. And his hair was still the same stringy, chestnut mop that you remembered. But it was more of a deliberate statement now, instead of an oversight. It hung just over his shoulders, and you had heard many a passerby giggle and whisper about hot emos on campus. Like, get in line.
âWhat are you doing next weekend?â
The question comes so abruptly that your head snaps up like a spring-loaded trap.
âHuh?â You blink, the tip of your pencil teetering dangerously close to snapping against the page.
Choso stares back at you, his expression maddeningly neutral, âLike, are you busy?â
âItâs my friendâs birthday on Saturday, weâre going out at night,â youâre narrowing your eyes at him, already feeling your composure fray.
Itâs Suguruâs birthday, and Gojoâs gone full-out with a surprise planned at some five-star restaurant. You managed to get your hands on a vintage vinyl turntable for him, courtesy of a Sothebyâs auction.
Choso nods, like heâs filing that away somewhere, âWhat about Sunday?â
âSunday?â You repeat, dragging it out, âIâm free, I guess.â Against all reason, you find yourself answering honestly, even as some internal voice is screaming at you to lie and make up an excuse.
âDo you want to study at my place?â
Thereâs a pause, long enough for the air to grow heavy between you two. You wonder if he remembers the last time that you asked him to go out with you. Your eyebrows shoot up, and your mouth must be twitching in something close to incredulity.
Choso notices, for his ears go pink first. Then his cheeks, like someoneâs spattered him with a splotchy watercolour paint. The flush sits pretty, just under the dark mark that crosses the bridge of his nose, âNo, I mean, like really study. Just studying. Itâs easier than being hereâŠâ He twitches, looking anywhere but you, âYuuji would be happy to see you again, and stuff.â
And stuff. How ridiculous that two words make your heart trip over itself. Your three-year resolve to keep him firmly in the do not touch zone has basically cracked wide open. Thereâs a traitorous smile tugging at the corner of your lips, but you manage to suppress it. Barely. Playing it off with a nonchalant hum.
âHmm. Sure, Iâll think about it.â
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Choso lives in an apartment now. Not a polished high-rise with sleek fixtures and panoramic views, but a tired and unremarkable building with flickering yellow lights that cast long and ominous shadows along the stairwell. You clutch the slip of paper that he scribbled his address on, squinting at the nearly illegible scrawl. Itâs barely decipherable, a penmanship perfect for prescriptions and indecipherable notes.
In your other hand, you balance a box of cream rolls from the bakery that Nanami swears by, their golden horns stuffed with airy dairy and dusted with cinnamon sugar. The smell is warm and sweet, a sharp contrast to the questionable stairwell.
The ascent feels longer than it should, each step accompanied by the faint swing of those tired lights overhead. But you bite back any judgement, youâve made that mistake before.
Someone else is already there, a tall figure that knocks on Chosoâs door with wide, lazy knuckles. Once. Twice. The man huffs, pocketing his phone and pulling out a key. Thereâs a practiced ease to the way he clicks the lock open, and for a moment, you hesitate, wondering if youâre witnessing a breaking-and-entering type of situation.
But thereâs something familiar about the muted shock of rosy, pink hair that spikes over his head.
âWhat are you doing?â His voice is rough, deep, with an edge of irritation that makes you stand a little straighter. He looks over you once, and his eyes fall on the box of pastries in your hands. Disinterest giving way to a little bit of curiosity. It reminds you of Itadori Yuuji.
âUh,â you clear your throat, âChoso invited me.â
The manâs eyebrows lift in surprise, and youâre fascinated by the tattoos that curl around his face. Even running along his jawline, and down his neck. There are silver studs littering his ear, and if you didnât know better, you would say that there are real precious stones scattered among them.
âDidnât know he had a date.â The man seems gruffly amused, and you stomp your heels, the sound snapping off worn walls.
âItâs not a date. Weâre studying.â
âDonât care. Didnât really ask.â
With that, he swings the door open, stepping inside before you can. You linger in the doorway, before hesitantly following him, watching as he kicks the door shut with his heel. He seems to be making himself at home like he owns the place, peering through an empty fridge and rifling through cabinets. All before collapsing on the sagging couch like itâs his throne, sprawled out as he starts scrolling through his phone again.
You just perch awkwardly on the edge of a cold chair, as the space suddenly feels oddly claustrophobic. Your fingers toy with the edge of your notebook, as you wonder whether you need to call Choso, to see if this was all a mistake. Instead, your gaze flickers over to the man sitting opposite you.
Youâre sure that he comes from money. Youâve spent enough summer holidays backstage at Milan and Paris shows to recognise the seasonâs latest pieces. And the crimson racing jacket on his shoulders is definitely a Dior piece that costs more than what you assume is the rent of this entire apartment complex. Plus, you had spent enough time flicking through Van Cleefâs catalogue to recognise the whirring, high-jewellery piece that sat on his wrist. A watch with an eye-like mechanism, studded with Burmese rubies. Easily the price of your penthouse.
âSo, you friends with Choso?â He asks suddenly, lowering his phone. His eyes are sharp russet, locking with yours.
âWe know each other from high school,â you say, trying to keep your tone neutral. Itâs best to leave it at that, itâs safer that way. Youâre playing Chosoâs game, the one where you donât share a thing about your personal life.
âHmph,â The sound is more of a grunt than a response, and it makes you bristle. Why bother asking a question if youâre not interested in the answer?
âDid I leave the door unlocked?â
You hear Chosoâs faintly bewildered murmur, almost to himself, before he catches sight of you. Itâs cute, how a bashful smile creeps over his face again, almost embarrassed at the sight of you. But it darkens instantly, sharply. His bronze eyes are fixed on the man that loiters on his couch.
âGet out.â
The man is unfazed, âWhy? Am I interrupting your date?â
âItâs not a date. Weâre studying.â Chosoâs mirroring your exact, previous words. His tone is stiff, like youâve never heard it before. A snarl, with irritation bubbling underneath the surface.
âI donât know how else I can stress this enough, brat. But I really do not care what you do to get off.â The man drawls, pushing himself off the couch. Heâs absurdly tall, easily the height of the ceiling. You catch a glimpse of the tattoos trailing up his forearm, dark ink that winds around his wrist. A startling splash of red staining the sleeve of the pristine jacket. Itâs dried up now, crusting the edges of the fabric. Sort of likeâŠ
Weird. And impossible.
Choso grunts, âFine. Get up. Go,â and heâs gesturing towards a door leading into another room, his jaw clenched tight. The muscles in his neck are taut, the apology in his expression at you somehow mixed with a faint flicker of regret, like he wishes you werenât here to see this.
What happens next is an absolute masterclass on being nosy. Youâve edged closer to the door, shifting on the couch so youâre practically perched on the armrest. You can hear the muffled thrum of Choso and the strangerâs voice through the door, but itâs not enough. Curiosity is clawing her sharp nails at you, and you wonder if you should text Satoru. Or maybe drop a quick message in the group chat.
You end up leaning in closer, ignoring the way that youâre teetering on the very edge.
The conversation is low, like the rumble of thunder in the distance, but the voices are gradually building until â
âWhat? You did not just fuckinâ throw something at me!â The manâs voice booms so loud that you almost jump out of your skin, âWhat is wrong with you? Canât even have an honest conversation these days?â
Chosoâs response is tight, simmering with frustration that you donât understand, âNothing you do is honest. And donât break into my place then!â
âYour place?â The manâs scoff is almost a sneer, like heâs amused at the mere thought, âBrat, letâs not forget all the favours Iâve done you.â Thereâs a crash, something hitting the floor with a thud, and the manâs voice bellows again, âOi! Put that down right now. Donât you dare throw something else at me. Fuck, youâve got good aim, Iâll give yaâ that.â
You can hear Choso shuffle, spit something sharp in response.
âYouâve done all these things for me before, eh? Why the hesitation now? Got tired of cleaning it all up?â
Chosoâs response is firm through the thin walls, âIâm done with doing your dirty work all the time.â
The silence that follows is thick, suffocating, punctuated with a low and disbelieving laugh.
âYou said that last time. But you came crawling back when you couldnât handle looking after the kid all on your lonesome.â
âLeave Yuuji out of this!â
Thereâs another muffled scuffle, a loud thud that makes your heart race as the stranger growls, âCanât believe you bit me.â
The door swings open with a suddenness that almost knocks you off your seat. Chosoâs practically putting his entire back into shoving the man out with a sharp grunt, like heâs had enough.
The stranger turns, giving you a lazy, bored wave. Like he knows that it will simply irk Choso off even more. And heâs right. Choso, not having it for a second, snaps at him, âGet out. And donât come back.â
The man rolls his eyes, but not before pulling out a pricey Italian wallet, slapping a wad of thick bills down on the kitchen counter, âThatâs for this month. Iâll send a cheque next month for the little bratâs birthday.â
Then heâs gone, muttering something about bitchy, little bastard children, born on the wrong side of the sheets, with sharp teeth.
Chosoâs whirling around to you, his expression unreadable and blank. Like the surface of still water that refuses to betray even a ripple of emotion. You school your features, meeting his gaze with a look of equal, quiet disinterest.
âFriend of yours?â You ask, your voice cool. But thereâs questions dancing on the tip of your tongue, and you can taste them in the air.
He doesnât answer right away. Heâs flicking through the thick stack of bills that the stranger left on the counter. The sound of cash shifting in his hands is oddly loud, and you whistle low, almost involuntarily. It makes Choso look up, catching your appreciative gaze. His fingers tighten around the stack, his jaw clenching, as if to keep in whatever thoughts or words are threatening to spill out.
âDonât say anything.â His voice is a low mutter, hard.
âI didnât.â
Choso looks at you again, his hazel eyes softening just enough that you catch the flicker of something unsure. He lets out a low sigh, âBut you want to ask.â
âWill you let me ask?â Youâre pushing, your voice a little softer and coaxing than you intended. You can already see the signs, the slight stiffening of his shoulders, the way his gaze flickers to the door as if heâs considering an exit. Chosoâs like a clam, snapping shut, as if there is a pearl that heâs not ready to share.
âWhat do you want to know?â Heâs saying this like itâs a chore, as if it is the last thing he wants to do.
You make your way to the kitchen counter, âWhat will you tell me?â
If Choso is irritated by the vague, passive nature of your questions, he doesnât show it. He simply tugs his purple sweater down, sharply. âYuuji will be sad if his uncle didnât send him money for his birthday. He turns ten next month.â
âSo that wasâŠUncle Kuna,â you ask, murmuring more to yourself than to him. But Chosoâs sharp gaze flicks to you, a faint confirmation in the nod that follows.
âMhm.â
And just like that, something clicks in your brain. A conversation that you had overheard once, perhaps a year or two ago. A rare moment that both your parents had been home, still too distracted to realise that you were listening. The realisation hits you hard, like a small shot of adrenaline, âThatâs not Sukuna, is it? Ryomen Sukuna?â
Chosoâs amber look is like fragile glass now, âYeah. Howâd you figure?â
In a world such as yours and Satoruâs, itâs quite hard to avoid gossip, and whispers that float around in the backrooms of business meetings, or in the too-quiet halls of private clubs. For all the older business-clans, Sukuna is quite the upstart. A man who clawed his way to the top, not just content with money, but power and influence as well. Apparently, he made quite the name for himself, building an empire with wealth beyond measure.
And all at the low price of being wanted in more than thirty-five countries and territories. A businessman, a crook and a criminal. Your father said that Ryomen Sukunaâs ledgers were written in red ink, fresh blood for both personal and financial debts that were owed to him.
âWhy did he say that you came crawling back to him?â
Chosoâs eyes flutter shut, and you can see that heâs calculating whether itâs worth the effort to respond.
âHeâs the reason I dropped out of school,â Choso mutters, the words low enough that almost donât catch them. They land with a soft thud, the kind that makes your pulse stutter. You stare at him, with the kind of look that people give when a ticking time bomb has just been dropped in their lab.
Choso scoffs, eyes darting away, âYeah. Heâs always been sending money for Yuuji. And I was stuck doing hisâŠfavours.â
Suddenly, youâre back in high school. On Chosoâs doorstep, watching him try to hide a cardboard box of surgical tools. Thereâs a little corkboard map in your head connected with red strings, as you pin other things on there. The latex gloves in the box, Chosoâs general lack of squeamish misery when it comes to the stickier parts of medicine, and the bloodstain on Ryomen Sukunaâs Dior jacket.
Itâs almost odd, in a morbid way, that a crime boss chooses the latest Vogue streetwear, instead of a dark Godfather suit and a cigar.
Your expression must betray the pieces that youâve put together, because Chosoâs eyes widen, like he can see the cogs turning in your brain. âLook,â he stammers, voice rougher now, with a nervous edge, âI didnât do anything wrong. Never saw what he did. Not really. Just ââ
You shush him gently, a hand reaching out to land on his, a little too quickly and a little too hot. The instant your skin brushes against his, thereâs a sharp feeling. Like youâve touched something that burns beneath the surface. His face flashes a faint pink, muscles stiffening as though your touch seared him in a way he wasnât prepared for.
âGo on,â you hope that your tone is reassuring.
Choso swallows, his throat bobbing as his fingers suddenly curl around yours, âAnyway, I got tired of doing his dirty work, you know? Thought that if I dropped out, I could get a job. Work enough to support myself and Yuuji, without taking a single dollar from him.â
âBut heâs your uncle?â Your question is tentative, like youâre testing the waters of a deeper pool, âWouldnât he support you, too?â
Chosoâs sigh is deep and weary as he gently corrects you, âHeâs Yuujiâs uncle. Yuujiâs my half-brother.â
Suddenly, Sukunaâs comment about âbiting bastard childrenâ snaps into place with clarity. Oh.
Youâre not sure what to say now, what words could possibly fill the emptiness that lingers between the two of you. What a misery it would have been. Being a teenager with such potential, forced to close off your own future for the sake of family, and those that you love.
You remember Chosoâs face that day, after graduation, with his hollow expression as he watched your friends celebrate their youth. Thereâs a bitter lump in your throat, but for once, you keep it down. This really isnât about you.
You frown, the thought sneaking up on you and settling in your chest like a splinter you canât ignore. âHe said you owed him favours.â
Choso exhales sharply, his shoulders stiffening as if bracing for something unpleasant. His voice is low, bitter. âYou think high school dropouts pay their own way into med school without a benefactor?â
Right.
âSo?â Chosoâs voice cuts through the fog of your thoughts, and you blink at him, startled.
âSo, what?â
Choso shifts, unease seeping into his posture. His calloused fingers are still curled tightly around yours, like heâs afraid that youâll pull away and slip past him.
âAre you angry?â
Youâre not sure whether to laugh, or sigh, âWhy would I be angry?â
Heâs hesitating, dark hair falling loose around his face, âI was a jerk to you.â The words come quietly, like theyâve been gnawing at him, biting at the edges of his thoughts, âAt the time, I donât know, I guess I was just angry. Everything felt unfair, and I didnât want anyone else to be involved.â
You frown, not fully understanding what to say, âYou were still a teenager,â you say slowly, like youâre trying to convince both him and you. You hesitate, unsure whether youâre underplaying things, so the worlds come out a little jagged, not quite as comforting as you wished. âI guessâŠâ It feels weak as your words suddenly stagger off.
Chosoâs eyes flicker to yours, searching, like heâs trying to figure if thereâs something else, youâre not saying, âWhat?â
You can practically hear Satoruâs voice in your heard, groaning and whining about screwing the long game. But you puff a breath through your cheeks, worried youâll lose the nerve, âYou know, I really liked you, right, Choso?â
Chosoâs mouth drops open, as his face flickers with disbelief. The same way it had three years ago, âLike, really?â
You nod, a smile tugging at your lips without even thinking, âYeah. And you know, everyone else thought I was being, like, silly. But I really liked you. I just never knew what to say to you.â It feels so stupid, and obvious now. But back then, it had been a great chunk of your world. You force yourself to hold his bashful gaze.
Chosoâs quiet for a moment, before he admits, âI couldnât believe it when you asked me to be your date. I thought it was just a game you were playing, or there was no-one left to ask.â
And then, after a beat, âWho did you go with?â
You snicker, a little too bitter and honest, âNo-one.â
Chosoâs quiet, relieved âdamnâ makes you laugh even more, threading your fingers with his.
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âI just canât believe heâs in your classes. What are the odds?â Satoru mutters, abandoning his sunglasses for the evening, his bright eyes flashing like sunlight refracted on water. He claims that his eyes are less sensitive today, but youâre certain itâs an excuse for him to freely rifle through your kitchen without obstruction. In the living room, the rest of your friends hover like a pack of starved hyenas, waiting for the snacks that Satoru is currently monopolising.
âIâm telling you, when I first saw him, my heart dropped straight to my ass,â you say, tearing open a bag of sour cream crisps with more force than necessary. The chips tumble into the earthenware bowl in a noisy cascade.
Satoru snickers, expertly arranging small platters on a big, oaken serving board, âI pity the lack of cushioning it got.â
You flick a stray crisp at him, the chip bouncing off his shoulder with a gratifying crunch. For a moment, his grin is steady, but it quickly turns rueful. That slight furrow in his brows, the way the corner of his mouth twitches downwards. Thereâs something else simmering under that veneer of carelessness.
âYouâre not happy, Satoru?â
His expression hardens slightly, plucking a cluster of wine-red grapes, twisting them off their stems with methodical precision.
âWell, yeah,â Satoru admits after a beat, his tone uncharacteristically sober, âIâm glad that heâs, like, nice now or whatever. But he basically broke your heart, didnât he?â
You glance away, your fingers tighten on the corner of another snack bag, âHe had his reasons.â Your flat reply avoids his curious gaze, perceptive and knowing. You hadnât filled him on the Sukuna-lore. Youâre not sure what it is, but thereâs bad blood between the Gojos and Sukuna, and youâre not keen to exacerbate it.
Oh, hey, Satoru! So, Choso is like Sukunaâs adopted nephew. And I think Sukuna forced him to like clean up peopleâs chopped fingers and arms, or whatever. But I have a big crush on him, yep. Right after I said that I wouldnât catch feelings again.
Satoru scoffs, wagging a long finger at you. A glistening droplet of grape juice clings to his thumb like a ruby bead, âDonât make excuses for someone hurting your feelings. You know better than that.â His tone carries the same theatrical lilt as always, but itâs underpinned with something firmer, genuine.
Before you can fire back, a new voice meanders into the kitchen, soft and unhurried, âWho hurt your feelings?â
Itâs Suguru, propped lazily against the doorway, choppy layers freshly framing his sharp features. The dim kitchen light catches on the faint sheen of his silver rings as he crosses his arms.
Satoru grabs a bag of pretzels, lobbing it towards him, âChoso Kamo. Remember that emo guy I told you about?â
Suguru catches the bag with practised ease, without looking, his mauve gaze flicking to you. You silently curse Gojo Satoru for broadcasting your love life, or lack thereof, to what feels like half the city.
âWhatâs he look like again?â
You narrow your eyes at the tall man, âHe was literally in our grade.â
Suguru shrugs, his palms raised in mock innocence, âI never saw him, okay? He was quiet as hell, never had classes with him.â
âHe wasnât that quiet,â you protest, but your words are drowned out by Satoruâs triumphant declaration.
âHold up! I got visual aid.â
Heâs whipped out his phone, unlocking it with a brief glance of his face, before shoving the dimmed screen inches from Suguruâs puzzled face. The photo, a grainy yearbook photo of Choso in junior year, gleams under the kitchen lights. You wonder if youâre going to need to fight for your life on the frontlines again.
For a moment, Suguruâs expression remains neutral. Unimpressed even. Then, as if someoneâs flipped a switch, his eyes widen with dawning recognition, âThis is Kamo? His girlfriendâs my neighbour.â
Half a grape travels down Satoruâs windpipe, âThe villain!â
Your best friendâs exclamation ricochets off the kitchen walls, loud enough to silence whatever protest was forming on your lips. Not that you had much ground to stand on. How would you even know? Choso had talked to you about his family, not his love life. You saw him a few times a week, and then the two of you would drift away, back to your own orbits. And he was a grown man with a life that had surely moved past you.
You had told him that you had liked him, and he hadnât said a word back that hinted at any mutual connection. How had you missed that?â
Satoru is still recovering from his near demise at the hands of fruit, âWhat girlfriend? Youâre sure, Suguru?â
Suguru raises an eyebrow, looking like he regrets ever opening his mouth, âHey. Donât pin this on me. But he comes by, with a little pink-haired kid. His brother? And sheâs like talkative,â and he gestures vaguely above his head, âLike, really tall. Blonde.â
Your eyes had drifted to the unopened case of vodka sitting on the counter.
Satoru clocks you immediately, âDonât even think about it. Weâre going to handle this like mature adults.â
âWe?â
Satoru nods solemnly, looping his arm through Suguruâs leather jacket, âYes. Your Choso loss is my Choso loss,â and he pulls Suguru closer, âOur Choso loss.â
Suguru sighs, not shaking him off as he looks at you sympathetically, âWhy am I a part of this? No offense. You could skip all this misery, and I donât know because Iâm just spit balling here, ask him?â
The dark-haired man continues, âOr, and I know this is radical for two divas like you, you could just let it go and spare yourself the drama. If youâre going to be working in the same field, wouldnât professionalism be better?â
Satoru scoffs, âOr! We do some reconnaissance. I mean, youâre the girlfriendâs neighbour, Suguru. Go snoop around.â
âWhy is it always me?â Suguruâs pinching the bridge of his nose.
âBecause it is always you. Youâve got the best sneaky liar face I know,â Satoru replies breezily, ignoring how Suguru mutters about the love he feels in this kitchen, âAnd you need to do this for the greater good. All that noble shit.â
Suguru shoots you a half-hearted glare, as if this is somehow your fault, and not Satoru pulling every string. Youâre one more inconvenience away from slumping onto the counter, head in hands, a shot glass by your side.
Your mind flickers to the hair tie that Choso always wears on his wrist. It could be innocuous, sure, but the green-eyed monster claws itself up in your chest. You imagine this faceless girlfriend passing it to him, like an intimate, inside joke.
âWhat am I supposed to do? Corner him in the break room on placements, and interrogate him? Should I pull out the clan funds, and pay him to date me?â
âItâs what I did with Suguru,â Satoru quips, not missing a beat.
âNow whoâs the liar,â Suguru murmurs.
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The hospitalâs looming ahead. A hulking mass of glass and steel that outline the bleak sky. Itâs a bitter Monday morning, the kind that bites at your cheeks and sinks into your bones, no matter how tightly you bundle up. The drive has been long and so utterly tedious, the pale sunlight doing little to brighten the cityscape as you crawl along congested streets.
Now, on the far edge of the suburbs, youâre left squinting and fuming as you circle the parking lot for the third time. The situation is grim, spots are scarce, and every turn feels like an ill-fated gamble that only ends in someone elseâs bumper.
You mutter curses under your breath, the heater in your car doing little to thaw your mood.
Chosoâs already there, not a massive surprise, for his apartment is far closer than your waterfront residence, smack-bang in the cityâs central district. His dark hair is loosely tied back, and heâs thrown an old hoodie over his scrubs. Thereâs a clipboard tucked under his arm, and a coffee cup in the other.
He extends the cup towards you without preamble, âWant it?â
You blink, catching on the incongruity of the gesture. But Suguruâs intel still echoes in your mind, he has a girlfriend.
You furrow your brow, the cup hovering between you, âWhereâs yours?â
Choso shrugs, âI donât drink coffee. Makes me jittery.â
This answer irritates you for no logical reason. Who doesnât drink coffee? It feels like some fundamental character flaw, and you snatch the cup from his hand. Doing your very best not to unfairly glare at him, for the sole crime of having a life outside of you.
Itâs hard to focus when heâs nailed your exact order. You lower the cup, the warmth seeping through the cardboard sleeve and into your fingers, doing little to melt the icy knot that sits in your chest.
Choso seems almost unnervingly chipper this morning, a far cry from his usual brooding demeanour. Thereâs no scowl etched on his handsome face, no trace of his typical stoicism. Instead, he wears the faintest trace of a smile, a subtle and almost tentative thing that pulls at the corners of his mouth as he glances over a nearly printed itinerary.
The sight throws you further off-kilter. Itâs rare to see him like this, easy and unguarded, and you canât help the way your lips twitch, the barest hint of a smile threatening to escape before you smother it.
âWeâre starting in the ER for two hours,â he reads aloud, voice steady, âthen, the paediatric unit.â He pauses to flip the page, his expression shifting to mild exasperation, âAnd then, paperwork in the break room.â
âFigures,â you grumble, tucking your hands into your coat pockets, âFree labour from the students, yeah?â
Choso glances at you, from the corner of his eye, an unimpressed but faintly amused look on his face, âThought that you would start the day with a more upbeat attitude.â
You grunt in response, which only earns a shake of his head as he folds the itinerary back into his clipboard.
A beat of silence stretches between you, only punctured by the sound of light metal snapping as you clip a badge to your pocket, but heâs speaking again.
âYou good?â
His bronze eyes flick to yours, clearly searching, and your pulse stutters, âYeah. Obviously.â
Choso takes a deep breath, his chest rising and gearing up for something monumental. The way his fingers fidget against the clipboard betrays him, they tap out a staccato rhythm. Thereâs a flush creeping on the back of his neck, subtle but unmistakeable.
âWant to get dinner tonight?â He blurts, the words tumbling out so fast that they barely sound like a sentence.
You blink at him, confused, âBless you.â Your automatic response, because he spoke so quickly that it sounded as though he had sneezed.
Chosoâs scowl is immediate, âNo.â He says it firmly, drawing out each word in exasperation, âI asked if you wanted to get dinner tonight. After this.â
Oh. Oh.
The realisation hits you like a jolt, and for a second, all you can do is gape at him. Heâs looking at you now, an almost defiant sort of expectation in his gaze, as though heâs worried that youâre going to laugh at him. But before you piece together a coherent response, thereâs a sharp rap-rap-rap of knuckles on the doorframe.
The ward manager is here, her expression brisk and no-nonsense, gesturing for the two of you to begin your shift placement.
Your head snaps back at him, mouth moving before your brain diplomatically catches up, âI donât think thatâs fair to your girlfriend, do you?â
Chosoâs brows knit together, his expression shifting to something startled and indignant. Irritated, even, as you push past him.
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Heâs trying to speak to you. Itâs painfully obvious, as heâs got that mildly dazed look. All that awkward, earnest attention is squarely focused on you.
Youâre having none of it.
He steps to your side as you shuffle through patient charts, his broad frame taking up more than his fair share of narrow space, shadowing your elbow as you scribble furious notes. His mouth opens, probably to say something that you donât want to hear, but youâre faster.
âHey, Choso, whatâs her blood pressure?â You interrupt, not bothering to look up from the faintly lined paper.
Thereâs a second of hesitation before he answers, â120 over 50. Just write that down. Got it? Okay, yeah, can you stop moving for a second and ââ
You squint at the chart, cutting him off again, âHmm, donât you think that the diastolic is a little low?â
His shoulders slump, âYes, but the doctors already know that. She has hypothyroidism, you told me that when you interrupted me like half an hour ago. Canât you just ââ Choso stops mid-sentence again, muttering a resigned oh my god, when you pivot away and head to the next room without so much a glance back.
It sets the tone for the rest of the shift. You make a sport of avoiding him, weaving through the emergency department like a fish slipping upstream, leaving Choso stranded in your wake. He follows, persistent in his mild-mannered way, but youâre relentless.
âCan you hand me that chart?â Heâs trying again, as youâre elbow deep in filing.
âOh, this one?â You sweetly ask, holding it just out of his reach, before conveniently remembering that you need to double-check something on it. He just huffs at you.
By hour three, itâs clear that Chosoâs patience is wearing thin, and fighting a war against his professionalism. He corners you near the supply cart while you rummage for gloves.
âThere you are.â
âOh, are we low on size medium?â You cut in, loud enough to catch the attention of a passing manager, âShould we restock?â
Choso inhales through his nose, âWeâre not low on gloves. Weâre fine on gloves. Can you stop talking about gloves for one second?â
You flash him a smile thatâs all teeth, âGloves are important, Choso. Hygiene is crucial.â
This time, you see him run an exasperated hand over his face, before realising that now heâs just contaminated his own pair of gloves. Snarling at you as he rips the blue latex off and reaching for the size large box.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket, once and then twice. Then thrice, as if whoeverâs contacting you as something urgent to say. You ignore it, youâll check it after placements.
The hours tick by, and your strategy remains the same. Stay busy, stay distant, and stay unreachable. Donât make it seem like youâre irrationally bothered by Choso having a life of his own and having a girlfriend. Or that you actually had hope that this time round, his feelings for you were requited.
By the time you both stumble into the break room, Choso looks as if heâs experienced the full emotional spectrum, like heâs been knocked through the five stages of grief and landed somewhere in the resigned space of acceptance. He looks as if heâs clearly preparing to lecture you, to tirade you on professional conduct and â
Without warning, his phone buzzes.
You donât even look up from cracking open your water bottle, the sound of plastic barely crinkles louder than the dull thud of your own heartbeat. Choso glances at you out of the corner of his eyes, a flash of alarm crossing his face, before he draws his attention back to the screen of his phone.
You hear the faintest scoff from his direction, and heâs shaking his head as you watch in mild interest.
âWhat?â
Choso doesnât answer immediately, still scrolling through his phone.
âIâm not dating Tsukumo Yuki.â
Your mouth goes dry. You blink rapidly, wide-eyed as if heâs just spoken in an ancient, dead language.
âWhat?â You manage weakly, âWho? What? ââ
Thereâs a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you fear the cause of this slow and curling chest is a meddling duo of two men, one with dark hair and the other with snowy-white.
Choso doesnât even glance up at you, his voice tinged with something incredulous now, âWhy is Gojo Satoru texting me? He says that youâre not replying to his or Geto Suguruâs messages. And apparently, this is super urgent, and he feels like he must do his divine duty by interfering before you do something stupid.
Choso pauses, finally looking at you as if heâs truly baffled, âAnd you all thought that I was dating Tsukumo.â
Youâre crafting a list in your head. Twenty creative ways to kill Gojo Satoru and not land in prison afterwards.
Maybe you should ask Choso for Ryomen Sukunaâs contact.
âThatâs crazy,â you say, the words tasting thin and hollow in a bitter, embarrassed lie.
Choso shakes his head at you, some dark strands of hair falling across his eyes, âShe looks after Yuuji sometimes. I take him over to her place because Yukiâs adopted a kid, Todo. The two of them are friends.â
âUh.â
Choso turns back to his phone screen, scrolling through whatever nonsense Satoru is feeding him, âHave you being icing me out all day, because you thought I had a girlfriend?â
âWill you hate me if I say yes?â Youâre looking anywhere but him, focusing on the chipped, lilac paint on the break-room door. Or the slightly off-centre light bulb flickering above. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, youâre adding Geto Suguru to your kill list.
Chosoâs voice is softer when he answers, almost too quiet, âHey. You know I couldnât hate you if I tried.â But thereâs a strange mixture of amusement and disbelief in his voice, a bemused chuckle that lingers in the air, âWow. Just wow.â
You grimace, fingers toying with the edge of the water bottle as you wrangle your thoughts into words, âAre you mad? I mean, look. I told you I liked you. And then you held my hands, so I thought you liked me back. And you got me coffee. But Suguru said you had a girlfriend, and you canât blame me for being â Oh my god, Iâm going to stop talking, youâre looking at me like Iâve gone crazy.â
Chosoâs expression shifts, just staring at you. You donât more than a split-second to process his strangely intense look. Thereâs no time to recover before he leans down, his hands surprisingly warm and gentle as they cradle the side of your face.
Your breath hitches, but before you can form another thought, his lips are on yours. Theyâre warm, deliberate and surprisingly firm. The scent of crisp green apples falls over you, as his hair envelops your face.
He pulls back just enough to study you, âWas that okay?â he asks, his fingers still lingering at the curve of your jaw, like he canât believe he just kissed you. You can feel the sharp blush sting your face, as your heart practically goes into cardiac arrest, nodding quickly.
âUh, Iâm not really an expert in this field,â Choso murmurs, âBut I canât believe that I waited this long to do that.â
âYou can do that again,â you say. Wondering if you should buy Satoru and Suguru a bouquet of flowers instead.
Choso, predictably, blushes deep enough that it nearly looks like he might combust. His eyes flicker away, avoiding your gaze in that way he does when heâs trying to sort through his emotions. But itâs hard to miss the warm flush thatâs firmly planted on his neck.
âCan I do it over that dinner?â Choso murmurs, his voice dipping lower, before he quickly rephrases, âI obviously do want to kiss you now, again, that is, but if they catch us in the break room ââ
You suddenly beam up at him, patting him on the cheek, âYou can kiss me as much as you like over dinner.â
Choso looks as though heâs been struck with a metaphorical thunderbolt, as if he didnât expect you to agree so straightforwardly. And then, as if he canât help himself, he presses a quick and soft kiss to your forehead. For the briefest second, it feels as if youâre a teenager again, caught in the whirlwind of something simple and so sweet.
âOkay. So, is that a yes?â He asks, a little breathless, as if heâs not sure what kind of confirmation heâs just gotten but needing it to hear it anyway.
âIf itâs a proper date, itâs a yes.â
Choso mutters under his breath, âYou know Geto Suguru texted me with a five-paragraph apology, something about sneaking around my apartment. Stalking me this morning,â and here, he looks at you, utterly exasperated but fond, âSomething about checking to see if I had a girlfriend. I mean, I donât even know the guy. We never talked in school.â
You loop your arm with his, pulling him in slightly, âSee, I always did say my friends were super nice. Theyâre going to be super nice, and normal. Trust me.â
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ONE WEEK LATER.
âAnd to my brother-in-law, my brother-in-arms, my brother in the Constantinople Crusades of 1204,â Satoru hiccups, his words slurring together in a rambled mess, as he sways over the edge of Suguruâs arms, and for a split second, youâre worried the white-haired man is going to tip over entirely, âMy new brother, Choso. We always knew it was going to happen, eh?â
Chosoâs cheeks turn a faint shade of crimson in the sudden spotlight as everyone cheers, and he shifts awkwardly. Suguruâs shooting him an apologetic look, the corners of his mouth twitching as he props Satoru up, âHeâs a lightweight. And we watched a historical movie last night.â
âI can tell,â Choso grumbles, his face flushed now as Satoruâs monologue drifts like an aimless plastic bag in the wind, his words growing nonsensical as you reach over to pinch at his cheeks. He yelps but continues to babble on about how he and Choso are going to be best friends now, and theyâre going to go shopping together, and ice-skating, and fruit-picking. All nonsense burbles being strung together by the tequila shots that Satoru swore he could handle an hour ago.
You glance over at Choso, faintly embarrassed, but he just laughs, a sound thatâs unexpectedly light and unguarded. His fingers slide into yours once more, and the motion is gentle and natural, as though this, you, are exactly where heâs meant to be. And he drapes the wide expanse of his aviator jacket over your shoulders.
Meanwhile, Suguru is wrestling with Satoru, pushing him back down from his impromptu toast to your boyfriend, before the bartender can usher you all towards the exit. The burly man is already giving Satoruâs drunken proclamations a nasty look.
Shoko, of course, is grinning at you, a tankard of beer glimmering in front of her. Her eyes gleam with the sharpness of someone whoâs won a decent amount of money in a bet. And Utahime is standing back with a faintly judgemental expression that only veils her gossipy curiosity, and a glum look as she passes wads of cash into Shokoâs waiting hands.
âThey really do like me,â Choso murmurs, his voice low and almost carrying the undertone of vulnerability, alongside some quiet self-awareness.
You laugh, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand, leaning in to press a quick peck to the dark mark that streaks over his face, âThey all have no choice. Youâre my boyfriend now.â
The words slip out effortlessly, and for a moment, they hang between you like something solid and unspoken, as though saying it aloud has made it feel real in a way it never quite did before. Chosoâs eyes flick to yours, and something shifts in his expression â just a slight softening around the edges.
Then, without warning, you lean in, closing the distance between you, and kiss him. Itâs slow, deliberate, with none of the frantic energy of your first kiss but instead the quiet certainty of something just beginning to bloom. You feel the faintest sigh from Nanami in the background, the sound of Geto groaning as Gojo whoops with drunken delight.
The noise from the bar fades into nothing as you focus entirely on the warmth of Chosoâs shy lips against yours, the gentle pressure as he presses more into you, the soft thud of his heartbeat where your hand rests over his chest. For that moment, itâs just you and him, and everything else is an afterthought.
âOkay! Iâve had enough of the lot of you snogging and yelling in my bar! And take stupid Jack Frost out with yaâ!â
#choso kamo#choso kamo x reader#choso x reader#choso fluff#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#jjk x you#choso x y/n#jjk choso#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk angst#daphworks
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the small things he does pt. 3
w/ ace, deuce, jack, silver, kalim, ruggie, epel, lilia & sebek
part one | part two
ace cannot sit in chairs properly. at all. it drives riddle insane but you find it hilarious, he'll have a leg slung over the side of a velvety chair, perfectly placed so that he's almost touching riddle with his foot, inching the housewarden to early greys. (his words, not yours.) when ace is visiting the ramshackle dorm, you welcome him to sit however he pleases, but chooses to sit like he had a board glued to his back. prim and proper like you're riddle's evil twin who will punish him for sitting straight.
deuce is always humming when he's around you. you have no idea why or if he even knows he's doing it. most time it's songs from the wonderland that you don't recognize. you got him to start recommending you songs when he thinks of them, so now you've got a playlist titled 'deuces humming habits' that you listen to often. (and since you can't access music from your home land... :[ )
jacked and kind. truly. jack is a sweetheart, he offers to carry your bags, open that damned jar or grab a book off the taller shelves for you. him and his unyielding sense of mutual respect would have him presenting his jacket to you at the slightest drop in temperature. jack invites you to the savanaclaw dorm building but ends up having to steer others away from you constantly because they want to challenge you (for some reason??).
silver likes to gift you rocks. whether they're shiny, smooth, textured, patterned or colourful, if silver likes the look of them he'll shove it into his pocket to be gifted to you later. after the mandatory nap. he started giving you the rocks a while ago, so you've now got window sill's full of glittering rocks that reflect the sunlight, making silver one of your first thoughts each morning.
kalim's hobby and love of parties and celebrations gives him a knack for decorating. he once showed up to the ramshackle dorm with a box full of tame decorations, they look like he swiped them off the mantles and shelves of the scarabia lounge with their golden colour and shiny nature, but he assured you these were in storage for a long time. you'll also often find a small box containing a new decoration or accessory to brighten up your ghost-ridden dorm on your front step, scribbled with kalim's hand writing.
ruggie sends you a message each morning, usually around the same time. his excuse is that heâs already making sure leona is awake so he may as well make sure youâre up too. but you think he just enjoys getting to tell you something each day, whether itâs a good morning, a random fact, a cooking or cleaning tip, (heâs really good a giving tips or hacks about a lot of things!) thereâs always a message on your homescreen. (though he doesnât do it for a return, heâs more than happy to accept if you offer him donuts. or a kiss heâs not picky.)
epel sneaks away to the ramshackle dorm, escaping vil and his damned vice housewarden's freaky signature spell (or at least he hopes..) to spend time with you. he'll drop his pretty boy act, pick his accent up and recount stories of his hometown to you. the intense passion he has while sharing the stories almost make you want to go to vil yourself and beg to keep his accent.
lilia will go out of his way to see how long it takes for you to notice when heâs walking behind you. if youâre lost in thought or deep in conversation with a friend and he notices heâll start silently start following you, chucking to himself when you really donât notice him. (there was once he was able to follow you from the nrcâs main doors all the way down the main street, down to the horse pastures before you realized there was a certain bat-like vanrouge waltzing beside you.)
sebek's respect for you grows with each day, despite you being human (even though he's half..), he'll start to protect your name when you're not around, confusing everyone around him, especially lilia and malleus, since he's only ever cared that much for them before. when you appear at the doors to the diasomnia dorms for a visit he'll beckon you in, and let you tell him about your day before returning the gesture and recounting his day to you, while slipping in small praises to malleus and his greatness, but you wouldnât have him any other way. a loyal boy.
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made this one longer than the other two so i didn't have a rogue post with only three characters lol
masterlist
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#ace trapolla x reader#ace trappola#ace x reader#deuce spade#deuce spade x reader#deuce x reader#jack howl#jack howl x reader#jack x reader#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucci x reader#ruggie x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#kalim x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#lilia x reader#sebek zigvolt#sebek zigvolt x reader#sebek x reader#silver x reader#silver#twst silver#epel felmier#epel felmier x reader#epel x reader
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https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSj1MUa7G/
I feel like this is something my Yuu would sing in the Mostro Lounge
Jealous!Yuu with Azul, Trey and Rook plss(seperate and romantic)
the song is so good omg, I've had it in my head since I saw this req. I've also reinterpretated the req a little bit, hope that's okay!
thank you for waiting so long <3
(also reader is pretty assertive in this)
Azul, Trey, Rook x Jealous! Reader
Azul Ashengrotto
The Mostro Lounge was buzzing, as always. Azul, in full business mode, was the perfect mix of charm and professionalism, pulling strings and striking deals with that silver tongue of his. It wasnât hard to see why people were practically falling for him left and right.
And you? Oh, you were fuming.
It started with that one overly enthusiastic customer, leaning across the counter, giggling at everything Azul said. Then, a group of students practically lined up to thank him for his "kindness" (which you knew was probably tied to some convoluted contract). The final straw? Some guy who straight-up asked Azul if he wanted to "grab coffee sometime," while twirling his hair like he was in a cheesy romance movie.
You slammed down your empty drink and stood up so fast the chair screeched. Enough was enough.
The moment Azul stepped away from the crowd to retreat to his office, you were on him.
"Azul."
He froze, hand on the doorknob, and turned to face you. "Ah, is there something I canâ"
You grabbed his tie and tugged, not too hard, but enough to shut him up and pull him closer. His glasses slipped down his nose as his eyes widened in surprise.
"Listen here, Azul," you started, voice low and firm. "Iâve been watching people fawn over you all night, and frankly, Iâm this close to losing my mind."
"I-I beg your pardon?" he stammered, his usual eloquence completely deserting him.
"You know exactly what I mean," you huffed, glaring up at him. "You walk around, flashing that business smile, charming everyone without even trying, and it drives me crazy. When are you going to stop playing hard to get and make me yours already?"
Azulâs face turned a shade you didnât even think was possible. "W-What?! I⊠I donâtâ"
"You know I belong in your arms," you continued, taking a step closer, making him back up against the wall. "So whatâs the holdup, huh? Or do you like torturing me by letting me watch all these people drool over you?"
Azul opened and closed his mouth a few times, utterly speechless. His glasses were fogging up slightly, and his hands hovered awkwardly at his sides as if he didnât know where to put them.
"Youâre jealous?" he finally managed to croak out, voice barely above a whisper.
"Beyond jealous," you admitted shamelessly. "And Iâm done hiding it."
Azulâs blush deepened, and he cleared his throat, trying to regain some composure. "I⊠I had no idea you felt this way."
"Well, now you do." You leaned in slightly, smirking at how flustered he looked. "So? Whatâs it gonna be, Azul? Are you gonna make me yours, or do I have to endure another night of watching people throw themselves at you?"
He straightened his glasses, avoiding your gaze, but the small, shy smile that crept onto his lips gave him away. "I⊠would be honored to make you mine," he said softly, then added, "And for the record, I donât care about anyone else throwing themselves at me. I only care about you."
The sincerity in his voice made your heart skip a beat, and you couldnât help but grin. "Took you long enough to admit it," you teased, finally letting go of his tie.
Azul chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I⊠suppose I have a lot to learn about expressing myself."
"Donât worry," you said, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers. "Iâll teach you."
And judging by the way his blush deepened, he didnât mind the idea one bit.
Trey Clover
The scene in the Heartslabyul kitchen was one youâd seen countless times before. Trey, sleeves rolled up, apron tied snugly around his waist, calmly mixing batter in a bowl as the scent of freshly baked pastries filled the air. He always looked so perfectly in his element here, like nothing could ever faze him.
Unfortunately, your patience had absolutely been fazed.
"Did you see that? Trey is so cool and kind!"
"Iâm thinking of confessing to him this weekendâdo you think he likes roses or sweets more?"
The voices of swooning freshmen played on a loop in your mind, fueling the fire in your chest. Everywhere you went, someone was singing Treyâs praises. It didnât help that he was everything they said and moreâcharming, steady, warm. He was the complete opposite of Riddleâs strictness, and freshmen flocked to him for it.
But they didnât get to adore him like that. Not if you had anything to say about it.
you stormed into the kitchen, your footsteps firm and purposeful. Trey, ever composed, glanced up from his work and greeted you with a soft smile.
"What a surprise. I was just about to put these in the oven. Want toâ"
"Cut the sweet talk, Clover," you interrupted, marching straight up to him and slamming your hands on the counter. His smile faltered slightly, though the amusement in his eyes betrayed him.
"Something on your mind?" he asked, setting the bowl aside and leaning casually against the counter, as if your obvious fury didnât rattle him in the slightest.
"Yeah, somethingâs on my mind," you snapped. "I canât take it anymore, Trey."
His brow arched slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. "Canât take what, exactly?"
You stepped closer, effectively pinning him against the counter. Your tone softened, but your words carried the weight of everything youâd been holding back. "I canât take watching people fall all over you. Every day, itâs the same thingâ'Trey this,' 'Trey that,' 'Trey-senpai is so perfect.' And now I hear someoneâs planning to confess to you this weekend?"
Trey tilted his head, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. "You seem awfully worked up about this."
"Of course Iâm worked up! Iâ" You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "I canât stand the thought of anyone else having you, Trey. You know I belong in your arms, so when are you going to stop torturing me and make me yours?"
For the first time, you saw Trey genuinely falter. His eyes widened slightly, and a faint blush dusted his cheeks. But just as quickly, he regained his composure, his smile softening into something warmer, more genuine.
"So, youâre jealous," he said, his voice laced with amusement.
"Obviously," you muttered, crossing your arms. "And if you knew all along, youâre even more infuriating than I thought."
Trey chuckled, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "I had a feeling, but I didnât want to rush you. I was waiting for you to say it yourself."
"Well, Iâve said it now. What are you going to do about it?"
His smile turned fond as he reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. "I guess I should finally put you out of your misery, huh?"
Before you could respond, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Youâve been mine all along, you know," he murmured, his voice low and warm.
Your breath hitched, and you felt the heat rising to your cheeks. "You⊠couldâve told me sooner," you mumbled, looking away.
"Whereâs the fun in that?" he teased, though the sincerity in his tone betrayed how much he meant it. "Besides, it was worth the wait to hear you say it so passionately."
"Ugh, youâre a villain," you muttered, though you couldnât help the smile tugging at your lips.
Trey chuckled, pulling you into a gentle hug. "Villain or not, youâre stuck with me now."
And honestly? You wouldnât have it any other way.
Rook Hunt
Rook Hunt was everything you could wantâand everything you couldnât have. At least, thatâs what it felt like.
His poetic words and boundless charm had drawn you in long ago, and you were certain theyâd ensnared countless others just as easily. He was magnetic, otherworldly, impossible to ignore. And the way he spoke to peopleâpraised themâwas just⊠who he was. You understood that. You accepted it. But it didnât stop the burning jealousy from clawing at your chest every time someone looked at him like he hung the moon.
Like today.
âI think Rook might be interested in me,â someone had whispered. âHe said my laughter was like a melody carried on the wind!â
Youâd laughed it off at the time, acting unaffected as you walked away, but the words echoed in your mind, leaving you restless and frustrated. Of course, Rook hadnât meant it like that. You knew better than anyone how whimsical and effusive he could be. But it didnât matter. Every glance he cast, every flowery compliment he offered, made you feel like your claim on himâif you even had oneâwas slipping through your fingers.
You couldnât take it anymore.
By the time you found him in the courtyard, you were tremblingânot from anger, but from the weight of everything youâd been holding back. Rook stood by a tree, gazing up at the branches with a soft smile, the winter sun casting a halo around his golden hair. When he noticed you approaching, his face lit up, and he greeted you in his usual fashion.
âAh, mon trĂ©sor! How radiant you are today! To see you is to feel the sunâs warmth, even in the cold ofââ
âRook,â you interrupted, your voice tighter than you intended.
His smile faltered, replaced by an expression of mild concern. âIs something wrong, my dear?â
You stopped just a step away from him, your hands curling into fists at your sides. âNo, not wrong. JustâŠâ You hesitated, swallowing hard. âI need to say this before I lose my nerve.â
Rook tilted his head, curiosity flickering in his eyes, and the sight of himâso open, so beautifulâmade your heart ache.
âI know how you are,â you began, your voice shaking. âI know you love to compliment people, and thatâs⊠fine. Itâs part of who you are. ButâŠâ You looked away, embarrassed by the heat rising to your face. âI hate the way they look at you. The way they think they might have a chance with you.â
âMon angeâŠâ Rook murmured, his voice softening.
âIâm not asking you to stop,â you said quickly, meeting his gaze again. âI could never ask you to change that. But I⊠I want them to know. I want everyone to know that youâre mine.â
There it was. The truth, laid bare between you. Your heart pounded as silence stretched, and for the first time, you saw Rook genuinely stunned. His eyes widened, his lips parting as if to speak, but no words came.
Then, slowly, a smile broke across his faceâwide and radiant and filled with something you couldnât quite name.
âAh, mon amour,â he breathed, his voice trembling with emotion. âYou are magnificent.â
Before you could respond, Rook closed the distance between you, his hands gently cupping your face as he gazed at you with a reverence that stole your breath.
âDo you know how long I have waited to hear those words?â he whispered. âHow I have longed for this moment?â
Your breath caught, your eyes searching his. âYou⊠you waited?â
âOf course,â he said, his smile softening. âHow could I not? You are the one who holds my heart, mon trĂ©sor. I could not give it to anyone else, no matter how many compliments I offer.â
The relief that washed over you was overwhelming, and you laughedâsoft and shaky, but genuine. âYouâre impossible, you know that?â
Rook chuckled, his thumbs brushing gently against your cheeks. âAnd you are extraordinary. Shall we make it official, then? Let the world know that we are one?â
Your heart swelled, and you nodded, a smile breaking across your face. âYeah. Letâs.â
Rook beamed, his joy so infectious you couldnât help but laugh again. And as he pulled you into his arms, spinning you around with the kind of exuberance only he could muster, you knew youâd never have to wonder if you belonged in his heart. You were already there.
Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#azul ashengrotto#twst trey#trey clover x reader#trey x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt x reader#rook hunt#twst rook x reader#trey clover
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you come home after a girlâs night out to find charles lying on your bed, arms resting behind his head as he watches an action movie in your room.
âwhat are you doing here?â you ask, amused.
you leave your heels by the foot of the bed, walking to your vanity to take your necklace and earrings off.
charles smiles at you through the mirror. âwaiting for you.â he says it so casually, so genuine, like he does not have somewhere to be, at the other side of the world, early in the morning.
âi missed you,â you feel shy admitting it, you saw him just a couple of hours ago, before leaving for the club with your friends. itâs not like you canât live without him or max, but they have so little free time that all you want to do when theyâre home is cuddle together and never leave your home. but your friends begged you to go with them and as much as you wanted to stay with your boyfriends, you also wanted to see your girl friends. âthey played that song you like so much. it made me missed you even more.â
charles coos at you, forgetting the movie to, instead, make grabby hands. it makes you giggle but you are immediately sprinting to the bed, climbing carefully onto his lap.
âand what about you?â you play with the collar of his shirt, looking at your boyfriend from beneath your eyelashes. âdid you miss me?â
âwe missed you very much.â max enters the room making you smile even brighter. he walks to the side of the bed where both of you are and places a cup of tea on your nightstand. you pout at him and he leans to give you a little peck on the lips. âdid you have fun? how much did you drink?â thereâs genuine concern in his voice that leaves you flustered, feeling small and taken care of.
âoh, just two gin and tonicâs, and iâm definitely sober if that is what youâre asking.â max nods, smile on his face as he retrieves a make-up remover from your vanity. âand it was such a fun night!â you clap your hands, ranting about how one of your friends kept flirting with the bartender even when he said he was gay and definitely not interested.
âand what about you?â charles asks, playing with a strand of your hair. âdid someone try to make a move with you?â
âas if someone would dare to try something.â that earns you a disapproving glare from your blonde-haired boyfriend. âeveryone in monaco knows who i belong to.â you touch the tip of maxâs nose with the pad of your finger. âonly you two.â
max climbs on the bed next to charles, and the latter wraps his free arm, the one not on your waist, around max shoulders, hugging him tightly against his side.
you let max wipe the make-up off your face as they listen to you describe everything that happened that night, even the moment a group of girls approached you to say how jealous they were that you are dating two of the most hot and talented (you added that, they didnât actually say it but you like to point it out every time you can) drivers on the grid.
âi like to know i make girls jealous.â you say without an ounce of regret, looking between your boyfriends. why would you feel ashamed, right? âand i like to know iâm the only one to have you both.â
#ê°ê° đ â verstappen cult files ê±ê±#lestappen x reader#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 grid x reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#max verstappen fluff#f1 fanfic#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x charles leclerc#f1 imagine#lestappen x you#poly!f1#poly!relationship
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⥠So American - FC 43 âĄ
Summary: You and Franco celebrate Thanksgiving together for the first time and Franco nearly gags when he sees American Thanksgiving dishes
Author's Note: this is so ass so Iâm sorry đ feedback is always appreciated
WC: 2296
CW: american reader đČ, fluff, thanksgiving food, wicked mentions, more overuse of song lyrics
You and Franco had been together for the better part of the year, about 7 months. Thanksgiving was coming up and, on the same weekend F1 would be racing in Qatar, not allowing Franco to be with you on Thanksgiving day, which was honestly a disappointment to the both of you. However, after moving around some plans, the two of you managed to pick a date that worked for everyone to be in your hometown to celebrate the holiday, before Franco had to go off and be a star (and an icon).
To say you were excited was an understatement. It was not only your first time having a boyfriend, but having a boyfriend during the holidays. You were excited to create new memories with Franco and show him how you celebrate the holidays in America.
Your family typically divides the work for the food every year and this time you were in charge of making the sweet potato and marshmallow dish, something you knew was gonna throw Franco into a whirl about. Your boyfriend enjoys making fun of some American dishes and you donât mind because itâs fun and you can see how some of them are strange.
You two were in your apartment the morning of Thanksgiving dinner. You got ready for the day and decided it would be best to change into your outfit after youâve cooked. You settled on wearing one of Francoâs shirts and a pair of his shorts for now. You then decided to head to the kitchen to prepare your dish, Franco trailing behind you like a puppy.
âYou look pretty wearing my clothes.â Franco complimented.
You deadpanned to Franco with an emotionless face asking, âdo I not look pretty any other time? Is this the only time I look pretty?â
Francoâs face turned red and he was panicking, âI- no, no, amor. Thats- thatâs not what I-â
âIâm kidding, love. Relax, looked like you almost shit yourself then.â you laughed.
Franco took a breath of relief and just smiled at your antics, âha ha, so funny.â
As you pulled out the ingredients youâd be needing, Franco watched in confusion.
âAmor, what- what are you making? You have sweet potatoes, marshmallows, and pecans on the table. Is it all for one dish? No, right?â he questions, cocking his head to the side.
âIt is for one dish. Iâm making a sweet potato casserole!â you exclaim excitedly, knowing it was one of your favorite dishes and you can only have it during Thanksgiving.
âEugh. No, amor. No.â, you watch as Franco makes a face of disgust, âWhy?â
âItâs good, baby. I promise. When itâs all baked together with the seasonings, it tastes like heaven.â you think, displaying a picture of the dish in your mind.
Franco all but side eyes to your response, âI thought I tasted like heavenâŠâ he pouts.
âSweet potato casserole tastes better, babe. Sorry.â you flash a toothy smile.
âAy dios mio. Is this what Iâm marrying into?â Franco jokes, dropping head into his hands.
âEhm! I beg your finest pardon?! Where the fuck is my ring?â, wiggling your ring finger at him, âDonât joke about marriage, bitch. Or Iâll start doing the ending riff of Defying Gravity all day long.â
âAy no, por favor, no. As much as I love your singing, amor. I canât listen to any songs from Wicked right now. Itâs all youâve been playing the past month! Please, anything but Wicked, anything!â Franco pleads with you.
âFine. Your funeral though.â you say, carrying on with your cooking.
âQue?â
âNadaâ
Franco is left speechless, but you carry on with your actions.
After plopping onto a chair and pouting, Franco got curious, âAmor, can you tell me what Thanksgiving is? I know you give thanks, but why?â.
âWell, in school we were taught that years ago, around this time, the pilgrims and Native Americans came together to share a meal and be peaceful with one another. They basically celebrated a successful harvest but with most of American history, thereâs some lies. But Americans really donât care about history. Itâs just a day where most of us donât have to work and an excuse to stuff our faces with food thatâs really bad for us.â
âThatâsâŠ.nice.â
âI can feel the judgement from here.â
âIâm not judging, just learning.â he smiles cheekily, âbut in all honesty, your reality is so different from mine. In Argentina we donât have this holiday and strange foods, but I want to learn all about your crazy American traditions if it means I get to be by your side. I go where you go.â
âI go where you got too.â you say, still blushing from his words.
âMaybe âI go where you goâ can be our âalwaysâ.â
You tried to suppress your laugh and threw a few marshmallows at his response, âYouâre done. Youâre done. I cannot believe you just quoted The Fault In Our Stars.â
Heâs giggling to himself and itâs one of your favorite things in the world. Itâs just not fair of him to be so cute and funny. If he keeps this shit up, you swore you were gonna marry him.
-=+=-
During the drive to your parents house for dinner, you and Franco listened to music. As passenger princess, Franco had control of the aux and he played a playlist he had made when you two first started dating. He knew that sharing music was sort of a love language of yours so he saved all the ones you had mentioned at times or the songs he would always find on repeat when you were around.
It was a peaceful drive, that is until No Good Deed from Wicked came on. As soon as the opening chords started, Franco knew there was no stopping you. He watched as you put on a one woman performance for him, and him only. Yes, it was from Wicked but he couldnât lie. If youâre the one singing, he didnât mind the constant sound.
He was also thankful it wasnât Defying Gravity or else you wouldâve been asking for a broom to hold. He also knew you wouldâve fucked up your voice a bit if you attempted Cynthia Erivoâs riff.
The two of you arrived at your parents house and were warmly welcomed by the rest of your family. Though the house was already decorated in Christmas decor, the feeling of Thanksgiving was flowing through the air. Your dad already had the (American) football game
playing on the tv, calling Franco over to once again try and convert him into a fan.
You watched as your boyfriend was practically dragged away from you, laughing as he mouthed the words âhelp meâ. Your dad adored Franco and your Franco loved hanging with your dad. As they went on to do their antics, you walked to the kitchen, setting down the dish you had prepared and began to help your mom finish up some cooking.
âSo,â your mom starts, âhow are you and Franco?â
You couldnât help but smile, youâre glad she brought him up first because you can never have a conversation if itâs not about him.
âWeâre good. When he found out that he was able to make it to dinner, he was so excited. Heâd immediately asked me a million questions on whether he should bring something or not as a gift. But I told him to not worry about it, thereâs enough food and drinks so we didnât need anything.â
âHeâs a sweet boy. Iâm glad you found him, heâs brought back a light in you that I havenât seen in a long time.â
You looked up at your mom and almost burst into tears. You didnât know that color was coming back to you. Before any tears spilled, Franco walked into the kitchen and went straight to you. When you were close enough, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close and kissing your hair.
âDo you guys need any help?â heâd asked you guys.
âI donât think we need any help here but you know what I need help with?â you aunt asks, raising a cheeky eyebrow at Franco, âI need help dancing to this song.â
You watched as your aunt grabbed Franco's hand and pulled him away from you to dance with him. The two danced and swayed to the music as the rest of you laughed and cheered them on. Youâre glad your family gets along with Franco well.
Music, laughter, and chatter filled the air, along with the savory and sweet smells of the food that was almost ready to eat. Once everything was cooked, your mother, aunt, and yourself began to set the table with the silverware and make the table look as beautiful as can be. As if they could sense that everything was ready, Franco, your father, uncles, aunts and cousins joined you at the table.
As each of you began to take your seats, Franco was almost split in half. Everyone wanted to be seated next to him. You were all for sharing but Franco was yours. As long as you got to sit on one side of Franco, no heads would roll and peace would prosper.
In the end, one of your cousins ended up sitting on the other side of Franco, ready to bombard the poor boy with questions about racing and F1.
Before digging into the food, everyone had to give thanks and say what they were grateful for. Most of your family said the typical stuff like thankful for having a happy, loving family and having a roof over their head. That was until it was your cousinâs turnâŠ
âThis year, Iâm grateful that Logan was dropped from Williams and that Franco was able to have that seat. My best buddy is a F1 driver now. But R.I.P. Logan, my American king. Also R.I.P. Sebastian Vettel, you wouldâve loved Franco. Anyways, who's next?â your cousin clapped his hands, looking around the table.
Crickets could be heard from the silence.
Franco, thankfully, moved the conversation forward and said his thanks. âWell, ehm. I think I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Iâm thankful for my opportunity to drive in F1, and even though I donât know where Iâll be next year, Iâm still happy I got this chance. Iâm also super grateful for y/n. We only met this year but sheâs still amazing and has been there for me through a lot. And Iâm also grateful for having been invited to join you guys today and that you guys are so cool and welcoming, so thank you.â
Everyone basically awed at Franco and his little speech. Meanwhile you were on the verge of tears. Youâd never known love like this and you couldnât believe he chose you. He was like a poem that you wished youâd written.
After some deep breaths from you, everyone began to dig into the food, well, everyone except for Franco. The boy was absolutely lost, he didnât know what half the stuff was and he wasnât sure how to go about anything. You took it upon yourself to start his plate for him so that he could familiarize himself with some of the foods and not get overwhelmed.
When you set his plate down in front of him again, he looked at the plate confused and then turned to you, silently asking you to tell him what everything was.
âYouâve got some ham, sweet potato casserole, green beans, and mashed potatoes to start. I know you like all those even if you havenât tried some yet. From here you can work your way around the dishes on the table.â you smile.
âGracias, amor. I really am grateful for you and all that you do.â
âTell me, lover. How grateful are you?â you cheekily ask.
With a wink, Franco replies, âIâll show you after dinner.â
-=+=-
âThe only thing I will be showing you if anything is my shit because I am so full.â Franco tells you as he settles himself on the couch.
The whole family had wrapped up dinner and finished off the night with some dessert. Now some of the family were chatting over some drinks to end the night.
âPlease donât.â you tell Franco.
âOk, I wasnât actually planning on showing you my shit. Ay dios.â states as he rolls his head to rest on the back of the couch.
You take a seat next to Franco, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm instinctively wrapping around you. His other arm reached for your hands and held them close. You swore his hands were so warm that they made hell seem cold.
You really were grateful for him. The two of you had been through some tough times so early into your relationship. There were times where you wondered if it was meant to be and if it would all work out. Youâd even tried to push him away at some point, believing his life would be easier if you werenât there to drag him down. But he stayed. There have been moments where youâve been mean to him, times where you were so depressed that you would stay in bed all day and didnât move. Days where you didnât respond to his texts or calls because you couldnât. But despite all that, heâs still here.
Youâve burned so many bridges in your life. Youâve made the same mistakes over and over but now you know you did one thing right. You love Franco with everything you have and heâs the person you trust the most. He knows you better than you know yourself most of the time. Even when you lose your mind, heâs still yours.
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