#i know like everyones prolly heard at least one of the songs hes done

[lymooniee]

I need to find more music that's like Hideki Naganuma, his music is just so good he's literally a music genius my brain itches so good when I listen to his music ugh gonna have to do that rn

[hahahmitski]

Jacob and Weed edibles

this headcanon ain't really realistic to Jacob but I think it's funny. Weed mention heavily um I guess that's it might be Jillard but it's whatever you think for now.

Jacob and Millard were going out to do some shopping for some sweets like some of their friend's wanted from the candy shop. There was some brownies on a stand but in Italian so Jacob asked Millard what "edibili di erba brownie" was. Millard slightly cringed at what the guy was selling, but once Millard got the word brownie out of his mouth Jacob RAN to the stand of "brownies".

Millard didn't know that Jacob had a particular sweet tooth and Abe baked brownies for Jacob sometimes. Millard ran after him but he was so late and Jacob already paid for 5 of the brownies and Millard only ran to where Jacob had only one "Brownie" left. The guy who has the edibles had a sly smirk on his face and ran away. Millard shouted that they were weed edibles but Jacob was already halfway done with the brownie.

Once Jacob heard Millard he immediately dropped it, yet, he already ate the edibles. Millard just found himself a peculiar because weed edibles weren't invented until the 1960's. But he didn't have time to worry about that at the moment. Thank the birds that the edibles were only the width and length of a gummy bear, hence, Jacob buying 5. Jacob reported shortly after eating the edibles (2-5 minutes give or take) feeling dizzy and that he could see Millard.

Millard thought for a minute, the edibles shouldn't of taken effect in an hour but he remembered the man who made it is peculiar. Millard placed Jacob's arm over his shoulder and brang him to the house. Jacob's eyes were slowing but surely turning blood-shot. Millard called for a family meeting in his and Jacob's room.

Once everyone entered, he shown everyone Jacob. There were some gasps among the peculiars but they were all at least a bit shocked nonetheless. Some children knew that Jacob or thought he had something bad and someone them just saw this blood-shot eyes and were a bit scared. He told everyone that Jacob ate something bad that isn't infectious but just try to limit talking to him at the moment.

Jacob had seen everyone and told them "wattz up fam?" Something else that didn't make sense to any of them but Noor who was crying out of laughter, but bitting her lip to contain the laughing. Enoch then shouted angrily "This is the guy to saved all of Peculiardom! Why did he eat wee-" Horace then placed his hand over Enoch's mouth, reminding him that there are Olive, Claire still home and the other in-training Ymbryne's. Enoch mutter a curse under his breath but Millard or any of the children didn't have time to worry about that. Noor on the other hand bursted out laughing, crying as well.

Millard whispered (in case Olive and Claire were eavesdropping) to them in a circle without Jacob that he ate weed edibles from a Peculiar from the present. The effects would -thankfully- run out as the same time within eating regular edibles. Jacob had to take a nap (prolly 1-2 hours from then) and he would be all good. In the middle of Millard telling them why they shouldn't tell the Bird Jacob came over and told them slightly slurred that he could see Millard and that he loved his brown curly hair.

The peculiars could see Jacob curling song hair but Millard stood there in utter shock. Hugh waved his hand in front of Millard's face trying to get him to talk again. Little did they know before Millard went invisible he had brown curly hair, and Millard felt his hair being pulled slightly. Once Hugh shook his head in front of Millard shook his head and told them that he could actually see him. Everyone was shocked, but then Millard wanted to get back on track as quick as possible. They brang back Olive and Claire into the room and told them that they should keep this in-between themselves. I mean, how hard can watching over a teen be anyway?

P.S. I don't care what the proof in Hollow City says about Millard.

I should be getting a AO3 soon so you guys want me to continue there? (Reposting this and commenting or just commenting is fine for an answer).

[fandom-puff]

hi i have a request! imagine for tommy he picked you up at the bar so he doesn’t know you very well but you guys ~do the nasty~ and later he overhears from your one friend telling lizzie that you faked your orgasm and he hunts you down determined to make you cum for real

HI! thanks so much for this request- I adored writing it!

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUTSMUT also swearing bc... peaky blinders?

It was the grand opening of the Shelbys’ new bar, and naturally, almost all of Small Heath was crammed into the main room. The whiskey and gin (from Shelby Company Limited, of course) was flowing, and the Swing Band was playing loudly, much to the joy of the inebriated men and women dancing. You hummed to yourself, touching up your lipstick before calling for another round for you and your girlfriends, Ada and Lizzie. “You want another drink, Linda? Maybe just stout?” you asked, getting your coin purse out. 

“Don’t bother yourself. I won’t succumb to that temptation. Just tonic water for me,” you rolled your eyes and soon received your drinks. “So you won’t touch gin, but you’ll happily play in the snow, eh?” Ada smirked, winking at you as she sipped her drink. You spluttered into your own. 

“Come on, ladies,” you said, sensing the tension growing between sisters-in-law. “Let’s dance before the band starts playing that American rubbish,” 

Together, you joined in with the dancing, giggling and cheering each other on. “C’mon Lizzie! Spin me around! I wanna be twirled,” you squealed, and the taller woman happily complied. You were new to the company, and she wanted to make you feel welcome before the boys scared you off. Soon you left the dancefloor, leaving the girls, to get another drink. You arrived at the bar, giggling and breathless, and ordered your favourite drink.

 “Miss YLN,” a low voice rumbled next to you as the bartender poured your drink. “I don’t believe we’ve properly met. Been keeping the books, eh? My brother John says you’ve very neat handwriting, and hardly cross any number out,” You nodded as your eyes met Thomas Shelby’s.

 “Oh… yes, Mr Shelby,” you murmured. “I try to make them neat so you lot don’t get muddled up,” you said. He nodded. The bartender put your drink in front of you and you reached for your purse. Tommy stopped you and gestured to the bartender that your drink ought to be on the house. 

He soon took you into the side room, kicking Finn and Isiah out. “My secretary, Lizzie, recommended you to me,” he said as you perched opposite him. He lit a cigarette, rubbing it along his lip before taking a drag. “And I’ve been trying to figure you out. Couldn’t find anything,”

“I didn’t grow up ‘round here. When my mum died I took her maiden name. Most of her lot were killed. The Somme, I think,”

“And your dad?” he asked, watching you as you drank.

 “The bastard died in France too, as far as I know. But I left home after Mum died. That was before the war,” 

An hour later, you were still talking, although the pair of you had drained a bottle of whiskey. You were giggly and warm when drunk, but Tommy only closed in more. This didn’t bother you in the slightest. You leaned forward and smirked. “So, Mr Shelby, do I meet your approval, eh?”You were so close to him, and your pupils were dilated with what could only be described as a mixture of inebriation and desire. 

“Yes. Yes, you do. C’mere,” he grunted, dragging you into his lap. He pressed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, his hand already running up your thigh. You groaned and wriggled, sucking his lip into your mouth, grinding your heat onto his tenting trousers. He growled, unbuckling his belt and shoving his trousers down, and tearing your knickers down. He stood up, bending you over the table, before rutting into you animalistically. You whimpered, crying out, pushing back into him. His thrusts soon became sloppy, and you reached to stroke your pulsing clit- but he grabbed your hand as soon as he saw you moving, pinning you down and shouting out his release. It was a good job the band had started playing a popular song, otherwise, the whole of Birmingham would have heard you. 

You panted, expecting him to carry on thrusting to bring you over the edge. Instead, you heard the sound of a belt buckle and the door slamming shut.

 The experience sobered you up slightly and you straightened your dress, fixing your lipstick and hair before slipping out of the side room. You bumped into Lizzie and told her you were going home, as you were working in the morning. She nodded and took in your dishevelled (despite your best efforts) appearance. “Get some rest,” she said knowingly, giving you a wink.

 The next day, you arrived at work despite your headache. You lit a lamp, as it was still a little dark out, and started on the books, flicking through the notes scribbled by various members of the Shelby clan. You worked in peace for ten minutes before Lizzie and Pol came into the room, chatting. 

“There she is. How’s your head?” Lizzie grinned, sliding you some aspirin. You smiled gratefully and took the tablets.

 “Holy shit,” Pol commented, staring at the bruise on your throat. You blushed deeply and tugged your collar closed. You hated wearing this blouse buttoned all the way up, but needs must. 

“Wild night, eh?” Lizzie asked, getting her own paperwork sorted as Pol went to fix tea. 

“Not really,” You sighed, looking down. You wanted to ground to swallow you whole. 

“Oh, piss off. You came out of that side room five minutes after Tommy, looking like you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, and you show up to work with a dirty great love bite on your throat,” she grinned. “I’m not judging you, by the way. If anything I’m impressed. He’s been a right prick lately,” 

“And he was a right prick last night,” you hissed. “Moody bastard, and a lousy fuck as well. Didn’t even finish me off, I had to fake it in the end,” you glared down at your paperwork. Lizzie chuckled and rubbed your shoulder gently. Polly came back into the room with the cups and teapot, pouring for you all.

 “So who’s the man? Boyfriend we haven���t heard of?” She asked, smirking. 

“It was Tommy, Pol,” Lizzie explained. You kept your eyes down. “Apparently he’s a lousy fuck. Our poor YN was treated worse than the back alley whores by the sounds of it,” 

Prolly frowned and set your tea in front of you. “Wouldn’t think a lousy fuck would leave that mark,” she said slyly. “Use a cold spoon and some powder when you get home,” she advised. 

“And then tonight, go dancing and get a man who’ll treat you right, eh?” Said Lizzie. “You deserve better than someone rutting against you like a dog,”

The two women had cheered you up significantly and you smiled weakly until Arthur’s loud voice cut across your conversation.

 “Rutting like a dog? Was that what you and Tommy were up to last night?” He grinned, having overheard,  and you flushed angrily. 

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, YN, you are a pretty little thing-” he said, his smile dropping when he saw that his banter wasn’t making you laugh like normal.

 “No. I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I’d be embarrassed for your brother. Who would’ve thought Thomas Shelby didn’t know his way around a woman, let alone how to properly please her!” You turned around. “Pol, I’m going home. My head is banging and I need to concentrate on these books. Arthur’s done all the adding up wrong. Dock my pay if need be,” You took the heavy leather-bound book and tucked it under your arm, before storming out of the betting shop, right past Tommy without even noticing. 

The peace of your home was what you needed. You brewed yourself a pot of tea with the nice teabags you had picked up from the market, and settled yourself at your rickety old desk, going through the books and copying them up neatly, and more importantly, precisely. You even hummed to yourself, soon letting the stress of the previous night slowly fade away. 

That was until there was a sharp knock on your door. You sighed, getting up. There was another knock. “Alright! I’m coming. Rent’s not due for another week, though!” You called, going to take the door off the latch. 

There in the doorway, in all his glory, was your boss. His cap was drawn over his face and he blew out a breath of smoke. “YN. Can I come in?”

 You wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face and lock it, put the chain on and drown him out with your rusty gramophone.  But-

“Fine. But put that cigarette out before you step over my threshold. The last tenant was a bad smoker and I’ve only just got the smell out of the cushions,” when the door shut, you turned around, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Mr Shelby?” 

“Mr Shelby, is it now?” He asked, smirking. “That’s no way to greet a guest, is it. Are you going to offer me a drink?”

 “No, I’m not. You don’t take me as one for cold tea with no milk,” you quipped. “What do you want?”

 He arched his brow, looking you up and down as if you were a fresh cut from the butcher. You stood a little straighter, determined not to look small. “What I want, YN, is to know what your little fuss was about earlier on,” he said lowly. 

You scoffed. “Oh please. You know exactly what it was about, and even if you didn’t, I’m sure the boys would’ve informed you,” you said coldly. “If you must know, I was pissed. Still am. Because I let you… have me. And I’m pissed because you treated me like a common whore, and I’m pissed because everyone knows and will think less of me,” you said, flushing, brow furrowed. 

“And what’s all this about being a lousy fuck, eh?” He asked, face like stone. 

“Oh you heard that part well enough, didn’t you?” You suppressed an annoyed laugh. “It’s true. You are a lousy fuck. D’you bend all your women over and hump them like a dog in heat or am I just special?” 

“YN…,” he said, voice low, standing up and walking to you.

 “You know, I’ve had better shags when I was a teenager. At least the lads I used to go out with had the decency to finish me off once their balls were empty!” You ranted, unaware of him stalking closer and closer, like a panther on the prowl. 

He pushed you against the wall, arms braced either side of your head. You gulped. Had you pushed him too far? You looked up at him through your lashes, and couldn’t help but lick your lips, your breath already becoming shallow. “Finish you off, eh? Is that what you want?” He asked lowly, leaning to growl in your ear, sending a shiver that crawled all over your skin and made your eyelashes flutter. 

You bit your lip and nodded. “Y-yes…” you whispered.

 “Yes, what?” 

“Yes please, Mr Shelby,”

 That was all he needed. He gripped your hips and pulled them tight against his, kissing you ferociously, his hands gripping, squeezing, stroking every inch of you he could reach. You moaned against his mouth and scrabbled at his heavy coat and jacket, pushing them to the floor. You began fumbling with his belt when he grabbed your wrists, holding the, above your head.

 “Ah Ah Ah,” he said roughly. “I intend to make up for last night. And believe me, YN, I’m feeling particularly generous tonight,” He hoisted you up by the thighs and held you against him, carrying you to your bedroom and kicking the door shut. He deposited you onto the bed, before looking down at you. “Dress. Off.” He demanded, and you all too eagerly complied, much to his satisfaction, casting it aside, quickly followed by your slip, leaving you in your knickers and bra. He chuckled darkly at your eagerness, and when you went to undo your garter and stockings, he halted your hands, shaking his head. You nodded obediently and watched as he kneeled down in front of you. You pressed your knees together, but he tutted and caressed your legs, from ankle to thigh. 

“Don’t be shy, YN,” he murmured.

 “No one’s ever…” you whispered, shifting your thighs together. He cocked his brow up and smirked. 

“No one’s ever what, pet?” He asked, pushing your thighs apart and making quick work of your stockings. “Tasted you? Not even all those boys who knew how to please you, eh?” 

You nodded and bit your lip, gasping at the new sensation of his hot breath skittering across your core as he pressed filthy, open-mouthed kisses against your heat. He nipped the inside of your thighs to get you to spread them further and inhale your musk, shuddering at the scent of your arousal.

 “You won’t even remember your own fucking name once I’m through with you, love,” he promised, stroking his finger lazily up the seam of your underwear, pressing it against your clit. You clenched your fists into the sheets, thighs already trembling. This did not go unnoticed, and Tommy chuckled darkly at your desperation. “So responsive,” he murmured, dragging your underwear down torturously slowly, before burying his face between your legs. You whimpered as you felt his tongue running up your slit, gathering your arousal before he swallowed with a groan, gripping your thighs tightly and holding them apart. He traced your sopping folds with the very point of his tongue, his nose occasionally bumping your swollen clit, but giving it nowhere near enough attention for your liking. 

“Tommy please!” You whimpered after at least ten minutes of him scrubbing the flat of his tongue against your heat, nipping at your thighs, and even pushing his tongue into you. He pulled away and looked up at you with raised eyebrows, your slick glistening obscenely on his chin.

 “Please, what, YN? Use your words,” he demanded.

 “Please, touch me!” You cried, shifting your hips, trying to get some friction to your needy clit.  

“Touch you where YN? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” he said smirking cockily, pinning your hips down to still you.

 “On my… my… here!” You whimpered, reaching a hand down to flick at your throbbing nub. “Please, Tommy, please!” 

He growled and knocked your hand away, instantly attaching his lips to it, sucking like a man starved and flicking his tongue under the hood. You cried out and tipped your head back, gripping whatever handful of hair you could, swearing like a sailor. “Oi. Watch. Eyes on me.” He commanded, although slightly muffled by your writhing hips. You whined softly but nodded, focusing on watching the gorgeous man devouring you. Your eyes fluttered when you felt a familiar tension building up in the pit of your belly, your clit beginning to throb against his tongue. Your breath came in sharp gasps, and you bucked your hips up, desperate to tip over the edge, so close already-

Then… nothing.

 You groaned, glaring down at the man before you, who still held all the power despite being on his knees. You whined trying to grab him back. “What the fuck? Please, I was so close!” You said, intending to sound angry, but actually sounding needy and desperate. He grinned. 

“I know,” Bastard. He repeated this routine several times, bringing you right up to the edge, but dragging you away at the last moment, until you were practically sobbing with need. When he had taken his fill of your nectar, he worshipped your breasts, sucking and nipping and kissing and lathing his tongue over your nipples until you were writhing, arching your back, convinced you would cum from this stimulation alone. 

“Please, Tommy!” You whined, fingers tangled in his cropped hair as he sucked a dark mark on your breast. “Please, Tommy, you’ve proved your point, please!” You sounded pathetic, begging like a whore, but to be quite frank, you could give a bigger fuck if you tried. “Just… please, Tommy, I need you. Need to feel you,” you whispered, stroking his jaw as he resurfaced, his piercing eyes trained on yours. “Need you to fill me up, claim me… I’m yours, Tom. Don’t you want to feel me cumming all over your cock?” 

Your words were meant to rile Tommy up, but they made you shift and whimper and buck despite yourself. “Good girl,” he whispered. “I’m very impressed with you. I’m going to fuck you, YN, and I’m going to do it properly,” You nodded eagerly and watched with glazed eyes as he discarded his waistcoat, shirt and trousers. You licked your lips as he dropped his underwear, groaning at the sight of his long, thick cock bouncing free, already leaking.

 All for you. 

You whimpered as Tommy crawled up the mattress towards you, already spreading your legs for him. “Please,” you whispered, reaching for him. He nodded, slowly pushing himself into you, bracing his elbows either side of your head. You cried out at the stretch of him, arching your back to press into his warm chest. Already, you were digging your nails into his back, and he grunted at the feeling of your walls clenching onto him for dear life.

 “Fucking hell,” he groaned into your neck, drawing back almost completely, before driving back into you with slow, measured movements, his forehead pressed to yours as he fucked you slowly, yet each thrust was ended with a sharp snap of his hips. You whined out, throbbing around him, trying to meet his thrusts with faster, needier ones of your own.

 “More, Tommy, more!” you cried out, scrabbling your nails down his back, clinging to his shoulder blades. You raised your legs to wrap them around his waist, angling your hips up more, eyes rolling at the deeper penetration gained by the new angle. “Please, faster,” you begged, writhing eagerly beneath him. “Please?” you whimpered, practically sobbing with need. 

Tommy grunted and nodded, holding you tight to him as he fucked you harder, faster, more relentlessly, growling into your ear, before suckling dark marks down your throat and to your collarbone. Moaning, he pistoned his hips into you, each thrust bumping delicious pressure onto your aching clit. It was too much. 

You moaned wantonly, arching your back and biting his shoulder. “Fuck Tommy, I’m gonna cum,” you whined, clinging to him, not wanting him to pull away before your release again.

 “Good girl,” he groaned. “Cum around my cock, love, that’s what you want. That’s what I want,” he grunted, his thrusts sloppy and harsh. With his permission, you yelped out, crying his name as you came, seeing white spots, even when you clenched your eyes shut. Feeling you clench around him like a vice, he shouted his release, spurting into you, filling you with his hot cum. 

Panting, he pulled out, and for a moment you worried he would buckle up his belt and leave you like a whore again, but the mattress dipped beside you as he lay down. He drew you into his side, holding you close. 

“You alright?” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. “You okay, love?” you nodded, resting your head on his chest, breathing deeply. 

“I-I… more than alright,” you murmured, causing him to chuckle. He lit a cigarette and grinned, rubbing your side as you drew the covers around you both.

 “So, still think I’m a lousy fuck, eh?” he smirked. You grinned and looked up, reaching to kiss him.

 “Not sure,” you said cheekily. “That might have been a fluke. You’ll have to repeat that display a few more times so I know you didn’t just get lucky,”

 “Oh, I got lucky all right,” he smirked. “Sleep. We’ll take the day off work tomorrow, and I’ll show you that wasn’t a fluke, eh?”

[ladyartemesia]

▨ Lady Artemesia’s Milestone Message and Milestone  Fic Preview ▨

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Dear Mutuals and Followers,

When I started this blog nearly six months ago(ish?) I never expected to fall so in love with the lovely people in this community. You have been wonderful and supportive and I have truly enjoyed getting to know you, and talking to you, and loving BTS proudly alongside of you. Thank you for every moment, I have so many truly incredible moots - ALL of whom are SIGNIFICANTLY cooler than I am - and if I attempted to list you all, my perpetually scattered brain would no doubt forget someone and I’d have to fall apart dramatically about it. So...to all of you - thank you for following me. I am so bloomin thrilled that you do. To my amazing mutuals - each and every one of you are brilliant creators and supportive members of our community and I benefit every day from the art and positive energy you bring to my dash. Thank you so much...

to my hearts... 

There are a few of you who have been much closer than others and you I must recognize with only these inadequate words...

I utterly adore you. Thank you for being my friend.

▨ Amazing Ana @xjoonchildx​  ▨ Wonderful Lindy @ppersonna​ ▨ Sweet Sunshine Donna @taetaewonderland​ ▨ My First Friend and Angel Jahni @glossyfever​  ▨ Fabulous Lemon @lemonjoonah​ ▨  and my fellow Thirst Queen Reese (there is a line in this fic I wrote just for you - you’ll prolly know right away) @luxekook​ ▨

Honestly there are many more names I could put on this list, Many more people I have grown close to and I will continue to grow close too - believe me when I say - I luv and appreciate you all, but there are 7 members of BTS and these 6 ladies are - in many ways - my “other 6.” The roles they have played in my growth as a writer and a creator have been significant. They read my work, encourage me, hype me up, share my finished products, and - most importantly - share their friendship. I am blessed to be a part of their world.

Thank You All... My Lovlies...

- Viola

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Heart of the Storm

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• FIC PREVIEW •

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Genre: Fluff • Smut • Hint of Angst • Secret Feelings/Strangers to Lovers

Word Count: 4kish (preview 1kish)

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort • Hints of Classism • JK is Soft and Strong (full fic has more warnings)

Rating: Explicit/18+ (for the full fic)

Summary: Jeon Jungkook is the handsome RA that you could never quite bring yourself to talk to, and you are the ice princess whose status kept you far out of his reach... But a selfless act of kindness in the midst of a terrible storm forges an unexpected bond between you - one that could break your guarded heart... or finally set it free. 

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This is the song JK sings...

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You’re afraid of storms. 

Born to privilege (at least so you’ve been told), but money could not buy the love of absent parents, nor could it purchase any sort of freedom from the kind of fear that gripped you now. 

You shouldn’t even be here...

Alone in a dorm while everyone around you caught planes and trains and buses back to their diverse points of origin. 

The girl who usually slept in the bed across from yours is your roommate and  best friend since sophomore year of high school. She was a scholarship case at the elite private prep where the obscenely wealthy dynasties of Southern California sent their entitled spawn. 

A lone pair of Chuck Taylors in a sea of Jimmy Choos.

And a breath of fresh air.

Her father worked in stores; your father owned them. Yet you had become sisters in the truest sense of the word.  

When the storms came, she climbed into your bed and held you till the thunder died down. 

But she and the comfort of her familiar embrace were 30,000 feet above you now; well on the way to celebrate the spring holidays with her chaotic tribe. 

You could have escaped for the week - like the majority of your peers - but your father was on vacation with his new wife (who graduated from high school a mere four years before you did) and the dorms were infinitely more inviting than the sterile halls of your family’s real estate holdings. 

So here you were. 

Alone in a storm.

Or so you thought...

Being an RA looked good on resumes and paid better than most work study jobs, but for Jeon Jungkook, the obligation to stay in the dorms over spring break (when he could be chasing music festivals along the California coast) was a definite downside. 

He heard the sobs on his way up from the laundry and dropped the basket of clean clothes on the stairs. 

Only one person signed up to stay over the holidays - the only person who managed to spark shivers down his spine without effort or awareness. 

The princess. 

That’s what they called you when they thought you weren’t listening - an unoriginal label laced with jealousy and petty bitterness. 

But it fit you, nonetheless. 

Elegant even when you were clumsy. Distant even in a crowd. Reserved in ways that spoke of intensive social training and endless expectations. 

And you were screaming. 

His hand wrapped around your doorknob in a matter of seconds, but you could not hear him calling out to you over the thunder and the ringing in your ears. 

You did not hear the lock splinter when he slammed his body against the frame like his father taught him to do in case of a fire or an emergency.

Jungkook saw you often in and out of the dorms - yet you never really spoke to him, never offered him more than the occasional pleasantry or disinterested smile. 

He was out of your orbit and you were out of his league. 

But the princess was nowhere in sight now...

Now you were just a terrified girl curled up on her bed and Jungkook felt his heart wrench painfully at the sight of you so untethered. 

You could not see him - even though he stood right in front of you. It wasn’t till his hands connected with your shoulders that you finally registered the presence of another human being and slowly brought your eyes up to meet his.

There was a moment of silence as your gazes melded together in a strange intimate haze unlike anything either of you had encountered before. 

Then you reached out - curling your hand into the loose fabric of his shirt as you yanked him down on top of you. 

“Please,” you whispered into the firm plane of his chest, “please hold me.”

Strong muscled arms wrapped around you.

And for the first time in so very long...

You felt safe.

He smelled like fresh laundry and a hint of vanilla.

But oh...

He felt like home.

Not the many houses you grew up in - but a home. The kind you only ever heard of.

“It’s ok,” he whispered, lips pressed intimately to the sweet softness of your hair, “I’ve got you.” 

Thunder shook the room again and you burrowed impossibly closer to him, too frightened to notice that you wore only a t-shirt and nothing else, too terrified to care that the haven you sought was the beautiful man you passed by countless times in last few months, but could never quite work up the courage to speak to. 

Now your body tangled desperately with his, drawing immeasurable comfort from his solid warmth and the soothing circles he traced over your back. 

Jungkook was profoundly aware of both your state of undress and the soft curves of your body pressed insistently against his own, but that awareness paled in comparison to the fierce wave of protectiveness swelling up within him. 

You were no damsel in distress. You were brilliant, beautiful, and president of the self-defense club. He’d seen you flip a linebacker over your shoulder like a pancake during a demonstration once (which had given him an immediate boner for reasons he deliberately never explored).

But right now - right here - in this moment - you needed him... and holding you close - keeping you safe was the only thing on his mind. 

The tremors came and went sporadically as the storm raged on around you. His arms were an anchor each time the fear threatened to sweep you away. 

It took a few minutes for your scattered senses to identify the new sound braiding hypnotically in between the rolls of thunder and the rhythmic cadence of your own breathing. 

Jeon Jungkook was singing to you. 

Another time it might have amused you to consider that a man whose face and form bordered on sinful possessed a voice that was utterly angelic. The notes he sang curled through the air, piercing effortlessly past the fog to wrap over your heart like a warm blanket. 

“I see you getting sad... I see it running through your blood...”

Your muscles began to relax. The pounding in your chest began to slow. 

“Let it run like water out of mud...”

Your breathing gradually evened out.

“Yell the sadness loud... Throw it up against the wall...”

Sensation crept back into your limbs. Awareness returned. 

“See what stays then go and put it on... It keeps you warm…”

And suddenly you were in his arms - truly in his arms for the first time that night. 

“I will love you anyway with all your demons in the way… Nothing can keep us apart...I walk through walls into your heart…”

His warmth was everywhere. The gentle comfort he brushed over your skin swirled around you till the sound of the storm faded away. 

Till there was only him. 

“I don’t mind… I don’t mind… I don’t ...mind…”

He felt the change in you, the incremental return from disconnected terror to tentative presence of mind, but you made no move to disentangle yourself, content to let his touch and his voice chase away the last trace of your nightmare. 

You would stay in this moment - safe and surrounded and so unexpectedly content - forever if you could. 

Jeon Jungkook had found you adrift and pulled you back from the edge. He’d done what no one else could..

What no one else (save your best friend) had even bothered to try.  

And he’d done it selflessly.  

As a corporate princess, you were worth millions in assets, but so often left begging for pittance when it came to genuine care. 

You would have paid millions to be held like this just once. 

The adrenaline raging through your body finally began to dissipate, and in its immediate wake, exhaustion crashed over you heavy and hard. 

Sleep tugged insistently at the corners of your mind, but one last coherent urge burned so brightly that it could not be ignored or overtaken. 

Your fingers twisted into the thick curls at the nape of his neck, drawing him down till you felt the soft press of his lips against your own. 

You had never kissed like this; intimately - languidly - as if the brush of his mouth against yours was familiar across worlds and lifetimes. The small intake breath before he gave in to your gentle exploration was the loveliest sound you had ever heard. 

He was the song that drew you - not like a siren to your doom - but like a lighthouse to the shore. 

• ▨ ▨ ▨ ▨ • ▨ ▨ ▨ ▨ •

FULL FIC POSTING TUESDAY 6/30

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Masterlist: I got more where that came from...

• ▨ ▨ ▨ ▨ • ▨ ▨ ▨ ▨ •

[stonecoldjerseyfox]

Jersey on my mind (part 30)

“It’s gonna be a great day.” 

Daryl turns his head from the robin, sitting on the ridge of a roof, further away and that he’s been fixing his gaze on for the past half an hour and observes Rick. His friend lets down his shoulders and relaxes his spine, takes a deep breath and lets himself take in the silent calmness of the morning surrounding them. He’s right. It’s gonna be a beautiful day. 

The breeze hasn’t even bothered to wake up today. It’s the two of them, the robin, who sings his morning song, to announce that a new day has begun, and the walkers. 

“Yeah.” 

“Gotta continue working on the wall.” Rick proclaims, as if to create a to-do list in his head of today’s chores. “Check blueprints, find materials. Gotta go on a run.”

“Great.” Daryl replies and nods at Rick. He’ll get to go, he knows it, and he doesn’t mind. As if he were a tame fox, who no matter how domestic it may seem, constantly needs a certain degree of freedom and nature. But he doesn’t mind returning back here either. Not anymore. “I’ll go.” He continues. “Just tell me whatcha’ need.”

“Yep.” Rick takes another deep breath. “What a day.” 

His sudden discovery of nature, the surroundings and an overbearing serenity hasn’t sprung from nothing. He watched by Carl’s side for days. Didn’t sleep, didn’t eat properly, not until Carl sat up in bed and ate himself. The eye was completely destroyed and had to be removed. Thanks to Denise, Rosita, Tara and Mila, who, thanks to her previous profession as a dental nurse, knew how to sterilize scalpels and tools, as well as use sedatives and anesthetics. Thanks to their care, Carl got better, as did Rick. 

“What time is it?” Rick says. “Seven, or eight?”

“Prolly.” Daryl looks at the sun. He watched it rise, heard the birds wake up. Rick joined him shortly after. “Early.” 

“Ya’ wanna go back to the house?” Rick asks. “Get some rest?” 

“Nah.” 

Rick fixates him with his gaze, very ‘nice cop’-like, yet friendly and somewhat cheeky. 

“When I first met Lori-” Rick says, then smiles faintly, chuckles. “Boy, I was- Couldn’t eat properly. Couldn’t sleep. Like I went around in a haze and just thought ‘bout her.”

Daryl nods a little, smiles very faintly, but inside of his chest, his heart takes a skip. 

Has it been two days, forty-eight hours ago he went downstairs holding hands with Jersey when everyone was eating breakfast at the big table? 

After their escapade in the shower, resulting in soaking clothes that had to sundry at the porch roof, they stayed in the bedroom for the entire day. Juri wasn’t in bed when they came out from the bathroom, holding their soaking wet clothes. The smell of breakfast toasts was enough for Mila to understand that Juri was downstairs. Daryl left late in the afternoon, to join a group that has started to create a temporary barricade at the broken wall. Carol brought a late dinner to the working group. 

“How strange, I think I saw these particular clothes sunbathing on the porch roof earlier.” She said cheekily and bumped his hip, while he took a bite of a sandwich.

“Shut up.” Daryl scoffed softly. 

“Pookie.” Carol grinned and shook her head.

He returned late and when he entered the bedroom again, both Mila and Juri were asleep, spooning each other on the bed surrounded by books, soft toys and cassette tapes. He sat down in the comfortable chair, didn’t feel like waking ‘em up by laying down next to them, where he fell asleep. 

Their presence downstairs the morning after that was a silent, visual proclamation that yeah, it was the two of ‘em now’. Or the three of them, including the kid wedged at Mila’s hip in his pajamas, barely awake, but determined to not skip breakfast. Daryl’s heart pounded harder than ever in his chest as they settled on the ground floor, next to each other in front of the entire Atlanta group at the table. Harder than when he stood in the yard as a child and saw the house, his home, burn down to the ground with his mother in it. But it was different. As if his chest was flooded with a warm, deep sense of pride, a sense of belonging. The group hadn’t, thankfully, made a big scene of the silent announcement, which was as big of a deal to him as if he’d announced he’d become the president of the whole damn united states of whatever. It was clear to him, when they sat down at the table, set with pancakes and toast, that the others had already put two and two together. Was it Carol who blabbed, or was it by any chance Rick? Anyway they took it without any fuss. Thankfully. He’d never pull through such a questioning. 

But Rick’s right, to some extent. He’s been in a constant haze for awhile now. He can’t put his finger on when the haze was inevitable, must’ve been during their walk to the gas station, but might just as well be earlier. She had a special impact on him from the start. Those blue, piercing eyes looking at him over the barrel of the gun after they’d saved him and Aaron. He can’t get enough of ‘em. 

“Guess ya’ right.” He therefore says. Why would he lie? Apparently they’re the talk of the town now anyway. Jeez. As if the townies don’t have else to talk about? 

“That hurricane of- I dunno, feelings. They’re good. Validation that everything’s just- perfect.” Rick says and by doing so, puts his finger on something Daryl have felt some kind of guilt for, not always, fuck no. 

But it’s a feeling he struggles with from time to time, if just for a second or a minute. He’s not good for her, or more correctly; not good enough. But that feeling’s swept away as soon as he notices her looking at him. The blue eyes smiling at him, as a lagoon of homeliness and deep affection. 

“Never done this before.” Daryl says husky. 

“No one has.” Rick replies while looking at the robin. “There’s a first for everyone. Ya’ just- gets a hang of your own mind. The rest goes by itself.” He makes a movement, and gets up from the boards. “I’ll go get some water.” He announces. 

Rick climbs down the ladder and Daryl looks after him as he strides over to the store. He smiles faintly to himself, lets his experienced gaze wander slow and steady over the closest surroundings at the other side of the makeshift wall. A few walkers have miraculously managed to remain on the site since they made a raid and eliminated most, after the great battle. One of them seems to have ended up in a loop; over and over again it crashes into the hood of an abandoned pickup, whose tires have almost grown stuck in the asphalt, which has been taken over, slow and steady, by mother nature. 

A soft tapping on wood gets his attention. He turns his head, and happens to see something at the lower end of the ladder.  

“Mornin’.” He greets Juri, who’s small, soft hands squeezes the second step of the hard, wooden ladder. “Wanna come up, kiddo?”

Without hesitating, Juri climbs the tall ladder, with the walkman in his pocket and the headphones around his neck. The big blue eyes are determined, curious. Almost at the top of the ladder, Daryl grabs the boy by his armpits and lifts him up to the platform. The three and a half year old is an early riser and has managed to dress himself this morning too, except the shoes that Juri wiggles in front of Daryl, to tie for him.

“Ya’ gotta learn to do this on ye’re own someday, kiddo.” Daryl says and ties the tiny Chuck Taylors.

A small index finger is pointed right at him. Juri looks at him with a clever grin, as to say: ‘Well, until then, you’re doing it for me’. Yeah, that’s probably true. Daryl lets out a faint chuckle. Being bossed around by a kid is something new. 

“Ya’ mom’s asleep?”

Juri nods. Daryl smiles. Before he left the night before to join Abraham at the watchtower he checked in on Mila and Juri. Juri was tucked in for bed and Mila had curled up next to him, supported by at least four pillows, with two books about bunnies in her lap; The Velveteen Rabbit and The Naughty Bunny. 

“See ya’ in the mornin’.” Daryl said, stroking Mila’s hair. “Night, kiddo.”

The smile he received from Juri, all wrapped up under the covers with his soft toys was priceless and also followed by a thrown, open-palm kiss.  

Juri settles down next to him on the platform. He’s dressed in a pair of rust colored dungarees with a black jumper underneath. On top he wears a flannel to shield himself from the still awakening sunlight, looking very proper. The blonde hair looks half combed, as if he got tired with trying and decided to leave it be. He fiddles on the walkman, while peering out over the wall with squinting eyes.  

“Ya’ had breakfast?” Daryl asks. 

Juri doesn’t answer, obviously, but he puts his hand in the front chest pocket of the dungarees and pulls something from it. A pack of two Reese’s cups. Daryl grins. 

“Ya’ mom won’t like that.” He says, but gets an authoritarian index finger in front of the mouth, followed by a ‘shhh’ from the boy; ��I won’t tell if you don’t tell’. “Go ahead, kiddo.” Daryl therefore says.

He watches as Juri peels the packaging open and takes out a peanut butter cup and hands it to him. They eat the chocolate-peanutty-goodies under silence. He’s amazed at the little boy, who seems to have the intellect and the ability to think like a child who is twice as old. Mila hasn’t coddled him, except smothered him with infinite amounts of motherly love, no doubt ‘bout that, but he can dress himself, make decisions on his own. He’s curious rather than scared and calculating rather than impulsive. He likes to collect stones, feathers and sticks, picks flowers, investigates bugs and likes to draw and listen to music while jumping on the bed or running around in the streets. And Daryl adores him. He’s a great kid. 

“Whatcha’ listen to?” Daryl nods at the walkman between the small hands. 

Juri removes the headphones from around his neck. He holds them up in his right hand as he pushes the ‘play’-button and turns the small ‘plus’-volume button on the side of the device, increasing the volume, leaking an old rock song. 

“Sounds great.” 

Juri gesticulates with his hands. It makes him feel both dumb and sad over the fact that he actually can’t understand the kid. Not that it stops Juri from trying, but he can’t understand no matter how many times he repeats his gestures.

“Sorry kiddo.”

The kiddo ain’t let down that easily. He opens the walkman, takes out the tape and shows him. Daryl reads ‘Boston - Boston, 1979’, written in black marker at the thin line on the orange paper label at the black plastic tape. 

“Okay, here we go-” Rick appears at the edge of the platform, but pauses and bursts into a wide grin at the sight of Juri. “Hey, little guy.”

Juri waves at Rick as he climbs up and sits down at his left side. 

“Here-” Rick hands Daryl the bottled water and then looks at Juri. “You’re up early.”

The blonde boy nods proudly, as to say ‘yup, before my mom’. Daryl unscrews the cap from the plastic bottle and offers it to Juri. He takes it and takes two small sips, before handing it back and continuing to look out over the wall. But soon the little nose begins to search in the air. Daryl and Rick can smell it too; breakfast. Toasts and waffles.

“Ya hungry?” Rick asks Juri. Juri turns and peers up at Daryl, as if he had an answer for it. He then turns back to Rick, and shakes his head. “We’ll be replaced soon. Then we’ll eat.” Rick says, very dad-like. Authoritarian but still nice. 

Juri nods and returns to his walkman, puts the headphones over his blonde hair and disappears into his own world of Boston, 1979. Daryl looks down at the toddler sitting between him and Rick, nodding his head to the beat of the music, so carefree and at ease. He looks so much like Mila, except the blonde hair. But his constant cool is something else, a hybrid between Mila and whoever the man who biologically is his father. Mila’s a hothead by blood, with impressive self-control. Like the calmest water which in an instant can blow up into a raging storm. Juri, on the other hand, is calmness personified whatever the situation. Maybe because he relies on Mila entirely. He never has to be scared or worried.  

“Now, that’s a sight for sore eyes.” 

Daryl’s interrupted in his thoughts. He turns and looks over his left shoulder. Carol is standing on the ground, shielding her eyes from the sun, smiling up at the three of them. Juri waves happily down at her with a proud smile on his lips. He’s with the big boys now.  

“Hi, darling.” Carol waves at him before turning her eyes to Daryl. “Ya’ boys hungry?” Juri sniffs in the air and nods. “There’s honey and waffles for you, darling.” Carol smiles at the blonde boy. “What about you two?” 

“Sounds great.” Rick says. “We’ll be replaced soon.”

“Great.” Carol replies. “You’ve been up there all night.” She continues. “We’re planning a barbeque tonight. Why don’t you get some venison later?” 

I’ll be damn Carol, Daryl thinks to himself with a faint, but thankful smile. More things to do today, except collecting materials for the wall. 

“Sure.” He calls back at her. 

“I’ll thank you later, when you’re back with some meat.” She replies in a cheeky smile. “I’ll bring you three something to eat before you leave if you’d like?”

“Set up three more plates.” Rick says. “We’re done here soon.”

Carol nods smilingly, turns and starts walking back towards the houses. Daryl and Rick look at each other. Huh, a barbecue.  

“Could be fun.” Rick says. “Gotta chop some wood then. You wanna help?” He looks at Juri, who nods eagerly with the headphones around his neck again, excited to help out with grown-up stuff. “Great. We’ll start right away, after we’d had something to eat.”

Juri nods and looks at the two men on each side of him, rubbing his tummy, showing them that now he’s hungry. Especially when there’s waffles. He then gets up on his knees and, without warning, climbs into Daryl’s lap. The small hands start to fiddle with his vest, then with the cord of the headphones. Daryl doesn’t tense, but he becomes instantly aware of his body, as if a baby deer had climbed into his lap; he can’t scare him away. But Juri’s calm and relaxed. In the corner of his eye, Daryl sees Rick smile. 

“What?” 

“Nothin’.” Rick says and blinks. “Just, everything’s kinda fine, right?”

Daryl turns his gaze from Rick and looks down at Juri, who meets his gaze and smiles sunny, then out over the area on the other side of the safe-zone, contemplating his friend’s words. Yeah, he thinks. Things are actually kinda perfect. Fuckin’ hell, he feels great. Everything’s calm. No breaches and no herd of walkers approaching. There’s a three and a half-year old in his lap that looks at him like- yeah Daryl can’t figure that one out. But he seems happy. And there’s Mila, probably half awake by now, back at the house. Holy shit, he’s got his shit together at last. 

“Guess ya’ right.” Daryl replies.

“Yep.” Rick says, also turning his head out over the surroundings. “I’m happy for ya’.” He sighs. “It’ll be fun. Barbecue. Bonfire. The only thing’s missing is a harmonica, or a guitar.” Rick turns his head to look at him. “Ya’ play?”

“What? Guitar?” Daryl shakes his head. “Nah.”

But a faint smile spreads upon Daryl’s lips as an idea forms inside his head, accompanied by the muffled sound from Juri’s headphones, which leaks a guitar solo. Nah, he ain’t playing. But he knows someone who might. Inside his head, he adds another task to his mental to do-list.

Taglist: @lonewolf471 @twdeadfanfic

[seokmins]

Don’t - JJK

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙 of Physical

"Just be careful,” Yoongi cautioned. “Don’t get caught in something you don’t want to end up in.”

“Yoongi!” Jimin exclaimed. “Our baby is growing up! He’s developing feelings - !”

【ˢᵉʳⁱᵉˢ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴮᵀˢ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴹᵃⁱⁿ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ】

💞 🄿🄰🄸🅁🄸🄽🄶: Jeon Jungkook x Reader  📚 🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: Fluff, Angst (?) 🌟 🅁🄰🅃🄸🄽🄶: T 💬ⓌⒸ: 3k ⚠️ 🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: Swear words? Suggestiveness? Gosh idk.

💫 (っ  ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:

I think this switches POV a few times, hope it’s not confusing 😅 I think [Y/N] is an interestingly shallow character hmmm 😆. I don’t really know names for dance moves bear with me. This is gonna lead to a series whee 🤭

“1... 2... 3. 1... 2... Oof!” A muffled curse and a hard thump sounded inside the supposed to be empty dance practice room. Jungkook frowned, it wasn’t uncommon to pass by someone as they left if they stayed a little longer through the half-hour time-slot between booking appointments. But to still hear angry counts and crashes fifteen minutes after his reserved time did not make him particularly thrilled. He hesitantly peeked his head in, the creak of the door drowned out by the on and off music now blasting as a girl once again counted out her steps.

[Y/N] came tumbling down, tripping over her two feet. Again. Sweat coated her entire body as she glared at her glistening forehead in the full-length mirror. She had tried numerous times over the past week to nail that footwork, but today was particularly rough. One more time her mind screamed even as her body ached.

“Is that the new choreo?” A gentle voice asked as she paused to reset the music back, causing her to yelp in shock. She broke out in a cold sweat as if she wasn’t already drenched enough. Primal fear coursed through her as she recognized just who was standing at the door, fit in his oversized hoodie, white baseball cap, and combat boots. Yes, Jeon flipping Jungkook in all his big-shot glory. She gulped.

“Hello.” [Y/N] bowed formally, cursing herself for looking like a bedraggled, wet rat. Of course, most people don’t look too swell during dance practice (unless they were BTS) and of course, it wasn’t as if she had never been in the same room, breathing the same air as Jungkook. After all, she shared the stage with him and the rest of the esteemed members. “Yes, I’ve been trying to perfect the footwork for next week. I’ve been practicing for... Oh my gosh - !”

Jungkook chuckled. It looked as if this was the first time she’d actually looked at the clock and he couldn’t help wonder just how long had she been here - and how long she planned to stay. “Ya know, this is the reason why there are bookings. Not just so everyone can get some practice in, but also so you don’t overwork yourself.” He hummed casually (in his angelic voice) and strode over to hand her a water bottle from his vast supply hidden in his duffel bag.

“I...Thank you.” [Y/N] murmured, grateful and shocked by his kind gesture. She’d save this water bottle forever. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut into your practice, I totally lost track of time.” Hastily gulping some water, she made to gather her items and skedaddle out of there, but Jungkook cleared his throat, halting her.

“Hey, stay a while. You need to cool down and I need to warm up.” A chance to one-on-one cool down solely with the Jeon Jungkook. An opportunity of a lifetime. “You’re... [Y/N] right?”

[Y/N] blinked. He knew her name. “Y-yes. I’m, uh, Lee Minho’s little sister. Um, you prolly don’t remember him, he’s -”

“- a member of Stray Kids.” Jungkook interrupted, glancing a little sardonically at her as he stretched one arm over the other. “Yes, I recall, he was on the Wings tour?” [Y/N] blinked. “I can see the talent flows in the family then.”

“Uh, wow. Thanks. I’m not so sure about that. I’ve taken forever to learn these moves. Even though I helped come up with these moves, I can’t execute them perfectly yet.”

“Wait, you came up with these?”

“Oh, uh yeah - yes. I... talked with one of the choreographers and they loved my idea. I have to perfect it just right so I can be ready by the deadline or it’ll be disastrous for the comeback.” 

“That’s really impressive. Thank you. We appreciate your talent.” He said, smiling his signature bunny-tooth smile. [Y/N] blushed, even more so when she realized she had been wearing a sports bra. Having finally ‘cooled’ down, she grabbed her loose shirt and threw it back on. It didn’t help that she could feel Jungkook’s gaze on her, making her burn.

“It’s nothing, really. Um, it was nice talking to you. Really. I gotta go now. Sorry again for disturbing you.”

“No, it’s really not a problem at all.” He soothed. “Hey, maybe next time you book an appointment, let me know. Maybe we could chat more.” Jungkook waved his phone around, displaying the digital booking website for the dance practice room. “Huh, message me on KakaoTalk?” He offered.

“Oh, uh, ok. Uh yes definitely.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. That was a little presumptuous of me.” Warm redness rapidly spread up his neck to his cheeks. For the first time during their interaction, [Y/N] smiled at him.

“No, not at all.”

“Hoseok, you know that one girl who came up with the idea for our new choreo?” As casually as he could, the maknae questioned his hyung.

“Yeah, not very well, but she’s super talented from what I hear the dance team say. She leads a lot of the practices for the rest of the backup dancers to help them learn, almost like a professional teacher and choreographer.”

“Wow, I had no idea,” Jungkook admitted. [Y/N] hadn’t told him about that during their weekly meetings. Granted she didn’t talk much about herself in general.

“Well, it’s not that uncommon. While we try to get to know all of our staff, it’s impossible to get very close because of how often they rotate in and out.” Namjoon reassured him although the two other members of the maknae line grinned knowingly at their fellow member.

“I think Jungkookie here has a little crush on [Y/N]-ie.” Jimin teased as Taehyung voiced his agreement. Jungkook felt the red hot flush make its way up to his cheeks again. It seemed to be happening more and more these days.

“No, you’re wrong. I-... how do you even know her name?” He stuttered out.

“I may or may not have looked at your phone,” Jimin smirked. “As if we haven’t noticed you’ve been sneaking around doing a lot of dance practice when we haven’t even been told the final choreo.”

“I have to keep in shape, it’s better to get a taste of some part of it so it’s easier to learn the final version.”

“Uh-huh. That was actually a good excuse.” Seokjin laughed. “But you can’t fool us. You learn the choreography practically instantaneously... and you’ve never done that before for other comebacks.”

"Just be careful,” Yoongi cautioned. “Don’t get caught in something you don’t want to end up in.”

“Yoongi!” Jimin exclaimed. “Our baby is growing up! He’s developing feelings - !”

“I’m just saying.” He shrugged.

“I’m not doing anything bad. I’m just making a new friend, besides ARMY is my one and only love.” Jungkook sulked. “Stop making a big deal out of nothing.”

His leader rubbed a hand on the maknae’s slumped shoulders. “We just want you aware of the implications. Even if you’re ‘just friends’ as you said, rumors will fly if you’re close with anyone. We just don’t want a scandal. Especially not before the comeback.”

“I know. I promise nothing will happen.”

“Hey, I heard that there’s a fun dance practice that the backup dancers run` every week and she’s leading this week’s.” Hoseok, always the amicable sunshine brightened the atmosphere. “Why don’t we all go check it out?”

“Yay!” Taehyung cheered. “We can see who Kookie’s so fascinated on!”

“Stop! She’s just a friend!” The group laughed as he pouted.

♫ Adrenaline keeps on rushing in Love the simulation we're dreaming in   Don't you agree? Don't you agree? ♫

A step. A twirl. A side-step. Arms waving. A clap. Joy filled [Y/N]’s entire being - adrenaline high as she twirled along to the beat. Dua Lipa’s husky voice boomed through the packed room, stuffy from the people’s energies as they danced. The dancer grinned wide as she stood in the front of the mirror moving her heart out alongside her peers. Each one of them had practiced the random choreo she had thought up and today they were putting it all together.

♫ Hold on just a little tighter Come on Hold on, tell me if you're ready Come on Baby, keep on dancing Let's get physical ♫

She blinked. Even as fast as she moved, the choreo was rather simple in general - muscle memory at the least. Which is why she didn’t stumble when locking direct eye contact with a pair of brown doe eyes paired with a bunny smile. What... what was he doing here, let alone them?

Yes. All seven members squeezed themselves in the back area of the practice room. While it wasn’t too uncommon for Hoseok to pop in on his way home after a practice, throw some pointers, and leave with a bright smile, seeing the star group of Big Hit threw the whole room in for a loop. However, they were professional dancers. They kept dancing - albeit a little on edge, slightly losing their previous unlimited pep during the first half of the song.

“So... [Y/N]-ie is the beauty at the front?” Jimin asked both as loudly and quietly as he could with the loud music. He nudged Jungkook out of his deep catching-her-eye with the girl moving smoothly across the room, in lead and in control. Jungkook had never truly seen her in her natural element, seemingly always so tense.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I can see why Kookie’s so fixated on her.” Taehyung acknowledged, all seven boys focusing on her also, although she didn’t notice having lost Jungkook’s stare and instead concentrating on her moves. But she could feel his presence as intense as if it was just the two of them alone.

♫ Let's get physical Physical Let's get physical Come on, phy-phy-phy-physical ♫ 

Cheers erupted as the last notes of the song faded, all rushing to give their input on each other’s moves and the choreo - and the choreographer herself. Even Hoseok went to join the masses, caught up in the excitement. Jungkook contemplated if he should join Hoseok or the others as they snuck out the door, offering praise to those they passed so as not to seem standoffish. Unsure, he chose to awkwardly linger by the door as everyone slowly filtered out. Hoseok winked at his maknae as he passed, raising his eyebrows quickly towards [Y/N]’s direction. She as well seemed to be keeping herself busy after her colleagues said goodbye almost sensing Jungkook’s hesitation to leave.

“Hey. What brought you here?”

“Hobi mentioned something about a weekly dance practice.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Wow, it was great seeing you dance.” Normally their meetups consisted of a few conversations while [Y/N] cooled down and Jungkook warmed up - quite similar to their first meeting. However, last week he encouraged her to stay and watch as he danced, yet still, knew very basic information about her and wondered if maybe he was being bothersome. Perhaps she was just entertaining him, too nice or even scared of what he might do lest she say she didn’t want to hang out with him.

“Thank you.” 

“I really liked that song, it had a great beat.”

“That was the English version. Did you know Hwasa was featured in another version?”

“No way, she’s a great vocalist.”

“She really is.” [Y/N] hummed. “Here, I can play it for you.” She turned to her phone and pulled up the song.

♫ Although we eye each other You know I’ve read your feeling Don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? ♫

“How’s the choreo for the comeback coming?”

“It’s almost there. I should have it nailed by this week.”

“I can’t wait to see the finalized result.”

Sneak peeks while [Y/N] finished up her final minutes before he announced his presence lent Jungkook a good idea of what their final concept would be. To say he was excited was an understatement. She had true talent and an insightful eye.

♫ You try to hide your feelings You don’t have time just wasting time Don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? ♫

Jungkook swallowed. Internally, he wondered if he was gonna start screaming as he listened to Hwasa’s silkiness as she voiced the lyrics. [Y/N] smiled, motioning to him. “C’mon, do you want to dance?”

♫ Who needs to go to sleep, when I’ve got you next to me? ♫ 

Pass up an opportunity to dance her? As if. With a shy grin, he accepted the challenge. This might be the first time she’d become so carefree with him and he wasn’t about to lose.

♫ Night is passing There’s no point in hiding it So come on, come on, come on Let’s get physical ♫

Regardless of the girl dancing side-by-side to him, both trying to mimic each other’s moves so they were in sync, Jungkook enjoyed dancing. He even enjoyed dancing with other people, such as his hyungs and fellow Kpop groups. But maybe he enjoyed this just a little more.

♫ Close the door of this room Just us together in this space So come on, come on, come on Let’s get physical ♫ 

If only it was just that making his heart pound. Jungkook had been around girls before. While he shied away most times, not a single one of those interactions had made him feel like this. [Y/N] put him at ease even before he officially met her. Even dancing didn’t make him feel like this. Blood and adrenaline pumped through his veins and he turned to look right into [Y/N]’s eyes. Both dancers held each other’s gaze that asked the same question - “What are you feeling right now?” The raven-haired man licked his lips nervously, stalling his movements.

“I -. Do you...?” Gosh, he felt ridiculous. But there was no denying the undercurrent, despite their hesitation, that ran between the two.

“Do I...?”

“Do you, uh, find me attractive?” Jungkook almost regretted the words as soon as they came out.

“Gosh, Jungkook. What kind of question is that?” [Y/N] laughed as he blushed profusely. “If you don’t believe the hundred thousands of ARMYs that sing your praises, I don’t know what can convince you if not that.”

He mumbled something she couldn’t catch.

“Hm?”

Brown doe eyes met hers, shyly. “You telling me what you think.”

[Y/N]’s eyes widened as she gulped. “Well. I - just proved there’s no way you’re not attractive.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He turned away from her, thinking about leaving but she cleared her throat.

“Of course I find you attractive. I mean, you’re Jeon Jungkook, Golden Maknae of BTS. I mean... it’s almost intimidating and unfair how good looking you are. And you’re nice, talented, and sweet.” Gasping more than she would be from dancing, [Y/N] shakily met him eye to eye.

♫ All night, I'll riot with you I know you got my back and you know I got you So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Lights out, follow the noise Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice  ♫

With an unknown surge of confidence blazing through him, Jungkook latched his lips onto hers. Nerves flooded him, yet were soothed as she eagerly met his tender, yet fervent kisses. Grinning lazily as they separated for breath, he led her out of the dance practice room and they stumbled through the empty halls of the Big Hit studios to outside. The moon lit their path as [Y/N] led him to a hotel, flashing her card at the receptionist as Jungkook kissed her neck. He remained attached to her as she swiped her card into the hotel room and before he knew it they tumbled together into the crisp sheets of a bed.

“Is this what you want?” [Y/N] asked, cupping Jungkook’s cheeks as he hovered above her. 

“Yes.” Jungkook breathed, ecstasy lacing his whisper. “Is this what you want.”

She answered him with a kiss.

♫ So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical ♫ 

Jungkook groaned as he awoke to not the sun shining through his windows, but the sound of his phone vibrating. Again and again. Blinking blearily, he grabbed it and answered the call.

“Hello?” He grumbled - voice raw, body sore, and not fully awake. 

“Jungkook.” Came the stern voice of Namjoon over the phone. “Where are you?”

“I’m -” The maknae shook himself awake, glancing around, panic filling him. The silence rang awfully loud through the small hotel bedroom. Except for Namjoon’s voice calling him back to attention.

“Jungkook?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m in a hotel. I passed out.”

Namjoon was silent. “I suggest you check your messages. I’ll see you back at the dorm. Try not to get caught again.”

In the quiet of her dorm, [Y/N]’s face was illuminated by the light of her phone screen as she hastily dialed a number. Not even two rings in, the person answered.

“’ Sup, Ugly?” A familiar snide, male voice greeted.

“Is that how you answer your phone now?” She huffed.

He let out a sleepy laugh. “Only how a certain someone looks when she calls me at this hour.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

A pause. [Y/N] knew there was no point beating around the bush and got straight to the point. “I want to take you up on that offer you extended to me.”

That got his attention. It’d been several years since they last talked about the subject and what it entailed - never touching upon it again after the argument that broke out. That was the only reason he knew what she was referring to. If he wasn’t awake before, he was now.   “... Are you sure? I thought -”

“Yes. I thought there were no questions asked.”

The man on the other line hesitated. “What happened?”

“Didn’t I just say?”

“But -”

“Look,” [Y/N] interrupted. “Forget it, I-”

“No, no, no. I’m sorry. Come over. But promise we’ll talk. In person, okay?”

“In person.” She agreed. “Thank you.”

“See you soon, then?”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Breaking!  Dispatch has reported that Jeon Jungkook of BTS was seen entering a hotel with an unknown woman late last night. Big Hit has yet to comment on the situation.

💫 (っ ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:

Physical - by Dua Lipa / Physical by Dua Lipa ft. Hwasa & Lyric videos ➡️ links will be given under the series’ masterlist. 

Hehehe another song might be added too 😉

I finished writing this at 2 am. It’s rough. I know this moved fast but O well. If anyone reads this, let me know if they want tagged in Part 2!

ezralia-writes June 2020: ♫ Physical: Don’t - Part 1 © 

[coolpolarbear123]

Band Camp Day 2

Our anger is united

August 13th, 2020

<< 2 >>

sorry if this is short, I’m tired and angry:

Started at 9 instead of 8:30

Everyone was obviously tired

Did marching basics for 2/3 of rehearsal, then added our instruments to make it ~*~spicy~*~

Took the freshmen out of the block, did the fight song routine, added the freshmen, messed up the fight song routine

Lunch at noon

Ate lunch, talked sh*t

Playing rehearsal at 1:30

We all had to sit outside in chairs, and he put piccs in the way back for some stupid reason

Like jesus Christ I’m behind the drumline

Can’t we catch one break

And then we played some songs, did sectionals, which stayed sort of on topic but

It wasn’t the worst

Back to full band, played more songs

Band director: “when we’re inside, my ears are usually ringing, but here they’re not!”

the piccolos, who know why and are unimpressed,

Band director: *tells a story we’ve heard every year*

BD: and you’d never guess what he played!

me, not remembering: piccolo

the drumline in front of me, laughing

the piccolos, laughing

BD: flute!

Haha we all cheered at that

Suck by d---

Anyway

Our BD talked about how the tubas were in the back and couldn’t hear and all the piccs were like ???? we are in the exact same position???

5:00, rehearsal done, put away our chairs, because that’s covid friendly, and dinner time

6:30, time for band again, and it was just some more marching while playing

We did this thing where each section marched across the field while everyone else watches (we do this every year)

Every single section got compliments, we went last, and no joke our BD said, “your marching is getting there, your playing—well you have to remember that this section isn’t used to playing on these instruments. You’ll get better. I’m proud of you guys”

The proud bit is complete nonsense

And the entire other part of it was too

Like what the h*ll?

Before we marched across, I told one of our freshmen that that would happen, and she made eye contact with me as soon as it did

And then one of our other freshmen was like “why did every other section get a compliment and we didn’t”

And then all the freshmen were talking about it

They catch on quick, and we told them just as much

Yeah, it really sucked

After that we did a playing rehearsal and all I remember is hating our BD for the entire thing and not being able to hear anything from the back

At some point my section leader shouted that and someone said “no one cares” so there’s that

Ugh

I have to take a shot of water any time a certain thing happens and lemme tell you I hit 18 today

(16 yesterday)

Tonights band activity was section bonding! We did a mini hike in the dark, ended on a beach, made a fire, made s’mores

It was super fun! All the other sections are prolly like “we went to so-and-so’s house” and we’re out here like “we went on a HIKE in the DARK in the WOODS and built a FIRE”

Shared some band director stories on why we hate him

There was another group there, and at one point two girls who were on the soccer team came over and said hi and ate some s’mores

They were probably drunk but hey it was kinda fun

We told them we were in the band, the piccolo section, and the senior was like “I was in band in highschool?” “What did you play?” “Clarinet” “Ahhhhh”

we all had the exact same response to that asdfghjkl, so she said, “Do you guys have something against that?”

so we said, “at least you’re not a trumpet”

and the other girl who was with her, a sophomore, said “I was”

that was really funny, I promise we all laughed

We played never have I ever, which is a sorta inside joke? Kinda? Tbt to before I was in the section

And then we hiked back to the cars

It was fun, we’re all very tired, but it’s a really good group this year

I love them

We also have another freshman coming in at some point soooo

Oh! One of the drumline members texted our section leader saying “he ripped you guys apart, I’m so sorry, I don’t understand why he hates you guys so much” and we respect one (1) drumline in this house

[disloopy]

remedy for a broken heart pt.2

nafla

genre: angst

word count: 3k

a/n. i’m sorry this look on nafla is superior don’t try to convince me otherwise. this part is soooo long im sorry but i hope its a good finish since you guys have been waiting forever for it.

                                 with a little bit of this, with a little bit of that we gon be alright

Nicholas sighed in exhaustion, plopping down on the couch next to you. The current state of the small studio he shared with the rest of the boys reflected upon the amount of time he spent there, working on songs but never finding one that seemed to qualify his ideals.

“What are the stakes?”

“Hm?”

“I mean if I quite music... can I live?”

You turned to him, setting your phone aside. “Ask yourself... you’re the one who said music is your life.”

“I know... but I’m afraid people here won’t accept me cause I’m not one of their own.”

You laughed. “Babe, it’s always hard at first, I’m sure they’ll eventually learn how amazing you are and will look past the differences.”

“You know,” Nicholas murmured. “Jinyoung hyung suggested we go to Korea for a a while.” He knew he had peaked your interest with those words. “He knows some people there. If we can start a stable career, then it won’t be too hard when we come back here.”

You smiled with a bright “that sounds great!” but there was a hint of worry in your eyes. Nicholas liked that. “Jinyoung is always reliable, isn’t he?” you said, looking away for a second. Nicholas nodded in agreement; trusting Jinyoung would be the only right thing to do in any situation.

“So are you all going?”

“Me and hyung are gonna fly out first, then we’ll get the others to come.” You didn’t say anything for a while so Nicholas reached over to clutch your hand. “When I get back, you’ll be dating a real rapper.” He hoped these words could at least be somewhat comforting to you.

“I already see you as a real artist,” you told him with a smile.

“Dude, what’s the deal?” asked Daniel, walking into Nicholas’s room as he was getting dressed for the day. “Mina just asked me if she can stay in the guest bedroom for the rest of the trip... did y’all fight?”

“We broke up,” Nicholas told him plainly.

“What?” Daniel couldn’t hide his shock. “We literally here to relax and you guys went ahead and made your own drama.”

Nicholas sighed in irritation. “Daniel, I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” The younger boy fell silent, and put his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. 

“Well damn... so did y’all break up break up or...” Nicholas knew he was referring to the ‘incident’ with you . It wasn’t something he was proud of, the fact that all his friends, who were avid supporters of you, were conscious of the whole thing. 

“Fuck... I don’t know. Girls are so complicated.”

Daniel pressed his lips together. “Really, I think you’re complicated.” The two boys chuckled quietly, unsure of what was funny. “So you still up for tonight?”

“I don’t think it’ll be good if I came.. since Mina...”

“Bro, she’s coming too.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

As Daniel was leaving the room, Nicholas asked him to keep quiet about the whole situation to which he respectfully obliged. Daniel was known to have a big mouth but he was also trustworthy and always had his friends best interests at heart. And with that thought, Nicholas found it might be easier to forget about everything and have a fun night out with the boys instead of moping around like this. His friends would be by his side anyway and maybe that’s what he needed at the moment.

Nicholas left the solace of his bedroom to join the rest outside. “Yo, Mina, I got smth for you,” said Jinyoung, walking over to where she sat next to Daniel. She looked up from her phone, trying to peer around Jinyoung to see what he had hidden behind his back. Nicholas also watched, trying not to look too unhappy.

“You know how you love Post Malone? Well, he’s in the city, performing tonight and we got you tickets.”

Nicholas saw Mina’s expression brighten  as she took the tickets from Jinyoung and jumped up, shaking her hips in delight.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the best!” She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Daniel pulled her back onto the couch.

“Don’t get too excited, you’re going with Owen.”

Mina’s lips parted and she rolled her eyes. “Ugh, are you serious?”

“I heard that!” Owen called from the kitchen to which Mina gave Daniel a sheepish look and he grinned, ruffling her hair. 

Rather than being envious of the way his friends treated her, Nicholas found himself feeling sympathetic. Mina had a way of hiding her emotions ― much like you ― and she was too obviously pretending she didn’t care about what had happened earlier that morning. Her pretense had worked for her in the past but Nicholas knew her too well. 

That night, Jinyoung and Daniel came into Nicholas’s room, informing him that they were leaving and if he’d like to join. “Can I come a bit later? I’m just not feeling it right now,” Nicholas told them, hiding away under his covers where he had been napping in all afternoon after a tiring shopping session with daniel. 

“Bro, you’ve been sleeping all day, what’s wrong with you,” said Daniel, trying to pull his blankets off but Nicholas held on to them tightly in fear his friends might see his phone open to your instagram page which he had been scrolling through for the past hour.

Jinyoung just sighed. “Daniel, leave it. Don’t force him to come.” Nicholas looked at him with grateful eyes and Jinyoung nodded. “I actually gave Mina those tickets so she’d leave you alone tonight,” he chuckled and Nicholas threw a pillow at him. “But you can join us whenever you’d like.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

When everyone left, the house was quiet and Nicholas hated how lonely he felt right now, but he brought it upon himself . He reached for his phone again, refreshing your instagram page to see that you had updated your story. 

Hesitantly, he brought his thumb on top of your profile picture, swallowing hard as your story opened up to reveal a picture of you with your arm draped around an unfamiliar girl, a bottle in your hand, your trademark million dollar smile plastered across your pretty face. You had tagged “Avalon Club” and Nicholas realized it was the same club his friends were going to. That’s why Daniel wanted me to come so bad.

Nicholas closed the story and went through your instagram posts once again. You had changed a lot and the posts showed it clearly. There was a gap in dates wherein you hadn’t posted at all and the posts from before the gap were of him and you, years of memories locked in a couple photos that had been buried under the more recent ones of you looking happier.

“Call when you land, alright?” you said, pulling away from the hug with Jinyoung. You asked him since you knew Nicholas would pass out and forget by the time they go to Korea.

“Don’t worry, I will,” Jinyoung replied, fixing his beanie that had almost fallen off from the contact. You finally moved to Nicholas who was waiting for you with open arms. He pulled you against him, burying his face in your hair ― little did he know, it would be the last time he’d get to do so.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you told him with a little pout. Nicholas saw that you were trying hard to hold in your tears and he pulled you closer again so the others wouldn’t see. “Don’t you forget about me while you’re there, okay?”

He moved back, cupping your cheeks. “How could I ever forget about you?”

But the truth is he could, and he did. After going to Korea, Nicholas found himself busier than he would have expected. He made sure to keep you updated for the first couple weeks but after one or two hectic months, he couldn’t find motivation to pick up his phone and call you. His busy schedule kept him occupied but even when he was free, it seemed there was no time for you.

Besides that, Nicholas’s new life presented him with extravagances he could never have imagined of in a thousand lifetimes, nor could he refuse them. Although he had done a very selfish deed and couldn’t muster up the courage to face you after that. 

But the girls that went back and forth from Nicholas’s room didn’t pass without the knowledge of his friends who thought he was being sus and questioned him about it. “Did you break up with Y/N?” asked Jinyoung.

“Uhhh...”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I did not expect this from you... seeing how attached you were to her, I thought you’d be begging to go back to America everyday.”

“Calm down, she’s prolly in another guy’s pants right now too.”

But both men knew you weren’t like that. Nicholas didn’t bother sending a breakup text because you had probably forgotten about him as well. However, you didn’t feel that way at all.

When the crew returned to America after gaining some popularity, you were still there, hitting nicholas up with instagram messages which he didn’t find it in himself to even open because at this point, ignorance was bliss. 

And it seemed like the eye contact he made with you on his first American stage spoke a thousand words, none that either of you could ever speak to each other. To this day, that look still haunted him. It wasn’t any normal “breakup” if you can even call it that. Because sometimes, he found a part of himself was still with you.

Nicholas must have watched your story about a million times, staring at the picture of you for so long his eyes began to hurt. He couldn’t stay here any more. He was pathetic.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Daniel smirked when Nicholas finally arrived at the club. He had already drowned his self-pity in a few drinks when Daniel and Jinyoung found him seated at the bar.

“Having fun?”

“We should be asking you that,” said Jinyoung, propping his elbow on top of the counter. “You look down... was it Mina?” At this, Nicholas’s head snapped toward Daniel who shook his head quickly.

“I didn’t say anything, I swear.”

“Mina told us you guys were having a fight in the car while we were dropping her off,” Jinyoung explained. “What’s gotten into you?”

Nicholas sighed. “Yeah... it was my fault not hers. Did she tell you we broke up?” His relationship with her was on a thin line.

“Uh no, she said you guys were ‘on a break’ or sum like that.”

Though slightly disappointed, Nicholas was relieved that she didn’t want to leave him altogether. His heart already felt weak at the thought of losing yet someone important in his life again.

“By the way... Y/N’s here,” Daniel said quietly. “We wanted to tell you so it doesn’t turn out like last time.” Nicholas faked surprise but in reality, he knew all too well your whereabouts. 

“That’s nice... I don’t really feel like talking to her right now, though.”

“I guess you gotta tell her that yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat, getting up from his seat. “Don’t look now but she’s walking right towards us.” Nicholas froze. That means you were probably right behind him. Nicholas and Daniel smiled and waved at you over Nicholas’s head and then gave him a look before walking away.

“Hey stranger.” Your voice was soft, almost like a melodic tune. He hadn’t heard it in what felt like ages.

Nicholas turned around. “Y/N! I haven’t seen you in forever! Wow, I can’t believe you’re here!” Was that too much? Who cared, he’d already messed up whatever image of himself you had in your mind. You hugged him but it felt like the distance between you two increased and it was like he couldn’t even feel you.

“I came to your concert but I guess your friends didn’t tell you I was there,” you said, sitting down in the seat next to him. “I figured if you did see me, you would have talked to me but you didn’t so...” 

Nicholas laughed in embarrassment but inside a piece of him died. It seemed he had been too obvious with his hesitation. Or maybe he was just an asshole. The latter seemed quite accurate. 

“Anyway, you are you?”

A mess, Nicholas could reply. But instead he said, “I’m good... I mean, I’m better than better.” 

“How’s life as a celebrity?” you asked, laughing. Nicholas couldn’t bring himself to look at you but your laugh felt like medicine all it’s own.

“Wellll, I don’t really feel like one.”

“Really? You sure do act like one.” You murmured the last part. Was this your way of saying ‘fuck you’ to Nicholas? Perhaps Nicholas was thinking about it too much. He needed to drink a little more.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asked and you shook your head. 

“Nah, I was leaving with my friends right now actually... then I saw you.” You started to get up, taking your bag with you. “I’ll see you around then.” 

You can’t seriously let her leave like this, Nicholas thought to himself as his chest tightened. This may or may not be the last time he’d get to see you. A part of him wanted to remain that selfish and stupid self and let you go your way, as if just seeing you was closure enough.

But it wasn’t. The conversation was riddled with tension and if he hadn’t known any better, you were surely throwing shade at him for what he had done. If this was the only way to get rid of the guilt, Nicholas had to at least try.

He gulped down whatever was left in his glass and then stopped you. “Wait, Y/N! You got a minute?” You shrugged, sitting back down, clutching your purse tightly. Nicholas took a deep breath. 

“Listen... I don’t want to do this all over again,” he said quietly. “I just want to say I’m so sorry for being the worst boyfriend ever... and for being a dick and-”

“Nick,” you said, cutting him off. “I forgive you.” Nicholas fell silent. Those three words didn’t give him the relief he thought he’d get. A lot of him thought that you’d tell him you missed him and that you waited for him all this time and that you still love him. 

But none of that came. 

“Seriously...? Just... like that?”

You pressed your lips together. “I mean, what do you want me to say? That I still have feelings for you and I want to get back together?”

It sounded weird out loud the more Nicholas thought about it. “I just wanted closure... I mean, I’ve been kinda thinking about it and it was unfair to you.”

“Just forget it, Nicholas. You said you were ‘better than better’, what now?”

“Maybe I was lying,” he murmured and like that the stony expression on your face crumbled, softened to your glowing features as you stared at the glass surface of the counter.

“Maybe I’m lying too,” you said. “I mean, I know I said I forgave you but sometimes, I sit down thinking of you and I hate you.” Nicholas chewed on the bottom of his lip as you spoke. All this time he’d been worrying about his feeling and his guilt that he never thought about you.

“I hate you for not coming back for me when you promised me you would. But you know what, you have new friends, a new girl, a new life... who am I to tell you you can’t enjoy that?” You sat back and then looked at Nicholas and Nicholas looked back at you. It was the first time you two made direct eye contact and it didn’t feel like a knife piercing through him. 

“The last time we were together, I couldn’t help thinking of the future and...” you swallowed hard, taking Nicholas’s hands in yours. Your hands were just as soft as Nicholas remembered. “I knew that this would happen because I know you, Nick. I still let you go and maybe it was stupid but I was right.”

Nicholas held your hands tightly. “I wish that I could go back and change things... I swear I’m not like that any more.”

“Maybe you’re not,” you said, reaching up to touch the side of his face. “I hated you for what you did but I admire you for being able to sit here right now and at least tell me how you feel, even if it’s two years later. You’re not who you used to be, I know that.”

“That’s all I want,” Nicholas whispered. “To know that you don’t hate me.” You smiled and exhaled softly.

“I don’t. And I’m not holding this above you, Nick. We were so good together but we ended and that’s fine too. The best way to move on, though, is to let go of what you can’t control, let go of the past, Nicholas. The universe will align itself.” 

There were some days when Nicholas felt suffocated just thinking about you.You two didn’t end on good terms, if you had ended properly at all. But if this was the last goodbye, then Nicholas felt himself healing a little bit. 

You slid off your seat and kissed Nicholas’s lips. He couldn’t give in and kiss you back, but neither did he have the strength to pull away.

“There. Now we officially broke up,” you giggled, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Maybe I’ll see you later, or maybe I won’t. Don’t beat yourself up over me.” You began to leave with your friends and turned around one last time to wave goodbye. 

It felt like a certain weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Nicholas didn’t feel guilty anymore, the chains around his ankles were finally free. 

He took out his phone and texted Mina. “I’m sorry for everything.” Nicholas got a reply almost immediately, giving him the impression that Mina might have been thinking of him too.

She texted. “I know, love.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[nisitime]

Talk about your first love. he was sweet and turned out to be a douche drama queen

What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? oof hard to tell cause i love music in general ;; but i think all lo fi is amazing

How’s your heart feeling right now? broken as per usual but trying to heal

What kind of self care is your favorite to do? hmmmmmmmm eating fruit and maybe hair care

What’s your skincare routine? wash and sfoliate and lotion

How did you get to be so beautiful? no

Do you have any stuffed animals? a bunch

Best trip you’ve ever been on? hmmm i love everytime i go out

Favorite thing about your room? my computer and the photos on the wall

Opinion on love? love it but can soffocate 

Are you affectionate? way to much for my own good

Who do you look up to? my brother

Favorite poet? dont have one

Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place? lo fi in general and sometimes dodie clark

Do you play an instrument? i dont but i have a couple of ocarinas and flutes

Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)? i do, tradicional i use alot ot watercolor but i also draw digitally

Do you dance? What style of dance? i dont...prefer singing

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? gemini and +/-

Favorite old film? Dumbo and spirited Away

What’s your hairstyle? Bangs short on the back long in the front (even tho i have long hair now)

What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion? storming outside when im inside with a blanket

What upsets you most about the world? Arrogant ppl, and ppl who know they are wrong but still refuse to appologise and change

Are you in love right now? yis c:

Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them! also yis! he the cutest and makes me feel desired

Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! i dont but i wish

Do you have a lucky number? not really

Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? yes and yes

Do you believe emoji spells to work? ??????

Do you believe in magic in general? +/-

What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion? people smiling

Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? i love all colors

What instrumental sound is your favorite? flutes in general

Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? i love both

Who makes you happy? everyone that is nice to me

What makes you happy? everything thats sweet soft and kind

Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? pure, sweet, a small house 2 kids a noice husbando and i would continue on drawing

Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup? i dont wear it as often as i wanted cause i feel way to shy about it >///<

Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? I DO, i have this super fancy one in dark red ;;;

Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? i have more than one, i cried and moved on at my pace

Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? prolly my bf, i can trust him with my heart

Introvert or extrovert? SUPER introvert

Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? i do and its  ISFJ

Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel? prolly a fairy???

What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5NlyYBwsds

Parlez-vous français? un petit peu

Most beautiful place you’ve been to? ....i love going out in general ;;;;

Where/when do you truly feel at home? with the ones i love

Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is goreous! it does and thank you ;;

Favorite shoe you own? ALL MY NIKE’S

Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? i love how they look on me but cant walk

Do you feel loved? sometimes

How do you express love to those you care about? being kind and supportive

Favorite term(s) of endearment? just call me by my name

Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? my best friend at the time (that actually abondoned me??) she called me on the phone and i was crying, she went to my place (1 hour away from where she was) and took care of me, she knew i didnt wantedo to talk so she just stood there hugging me till  i cried everything and fell asleep

When is the happiest you’ve ever been? this past years have been nice

Are you happy right now? i guess

What makes you smile? sweet and kind ppl

Do you laugh a lot? i do

What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? sweet and lofi

Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? mutual love

What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? i do, i want a simple wedding and the person who im gonna marry to be crying when he/she sees me

Favorite flower? Lily of the valley

Favorite artist? oofie... i dont have one

Favorite music artist? also dont have one

How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? for me kindness is one of the most important traits ppl should have and i do think im super kind

Ever made a playlist for someone? dont think so

Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? i usually just cry

Early bird or night owl? both?

Morning routine? my skin care routine, breakfast and computer or school

Night routine? computer all night and one yogurt/fruit

What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? Kidness and respect

Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? i cry more than i shoul...my emotions get out but its never enough and i dont feel better after

Do you like hugs? i love them

When was the last time you kissed someone? the other day?

Are you small or tall? i’m tall but i always feel smol thanks to my bf and brother

Do you like wholesome memes? 👏 I 👏 Do

Favorite thing about the past? learning with my mistakes

Do you ever wonder abou the future? i do

Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? nop

Do you like plane flights? Airports? YIS

Sunrises or sunsets? Both if im with someone nice

The beach or a forest? same thing as 81

What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? *thinking* honestly dont know, my mood swings alot

Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? depends if im in a bad mood bacause of someone in the group

Favorite kind of tree? birch tree

Do you care about the health of the Earth? YUP

What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? vacations almost everyday

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? when i have the time, i love the hunger games trilogy

What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? my dad

What’s your favorite personality trait you have? im kind and soft spoken

List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. my hips

When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? last summer

Do you worry a lot? I DO

The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside? I love both tbh

Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? yis, aesthetics

Favorite pastry? sdfgsdfhgaerhga i love sweets in general ;;

Do you like doing little acts of kindness? yis

How’s your day/night going? not great but im maganing

[lunchboxdayz]

my stories with the albums

taylor swift- i first heard picture to burn in the car actually. it came on so much that it eventually got stuck in my head and i was singing it all the time. at school, when we got our pictures done, our photographer always did this thing where he told us what celebrity we looked like after he took the picture. for me it was always "you look beautiful, taylor swift!" or "good job taylor swift!" because i had hair (pretty much still do) like taylor's country hair. my mom started noticing me singing the song all the time and telling her i was taylor swift so i got an mp3 player as a present and she had downloaded taylor's whole debut album and i was a very happy girl💚

fearless- fast foward a year or two and im still getting called taylor swift at school and i am gradually becoming more obsessed with taylor. eventually, love story was played everywhere and you best bet that was my new obsession. i loved that song soo much and i was always dancing to it and having little concerts with my barbie dolls. well for Christmas, i got my very first taylor swift album and it was fearless!! i was one happy girl and i fell so in love with all the songs and named all my barbie dolls taylor haha! 💛

speak now- ahhh, speak now. this is the album that has been through it all and will always be my favorite. sooooo it was my third grade year and i had a babysitter that would babysit me everyday after school and sometimes on the weekends and all summer. she quickly became my best friend (i thought so lol, she was 20 something and i was like 9 haha). she played this song one day when we were picking an outfit out to play dress up with and it was back to december!! i recognized the voice and immediately fell in love with the song (once again) and insisted she put it on repeat. so for the rest of the afternoon, we sang that song loudly while wearing silly outfits and heels and wow it's such a good memory and it makes me so happy but sad at the same time because i miss her. anyWaYs for Christmas that year, i got the speak now album!! i was so excited. i even showed the album to my cousin and told him that taylor was me and he didn't believe me until my other cousin backed me up and apparently that's all he needed to believe me. i listened to that album every. single. day. and it meant so much to me and i would always listen to the album when i got home from school because it kept me happy:) speak now is always my go to album and will forever be my favorite. 💜

red- okay so this one doesn't have a huge story to it because i honestly for some reason don't remember much of this era😂 i once again got this album for Christmas and i remember looking at the lyric book every day when i listened to it and thinking "how is she so beautiful?". this album was my mom's favorite (still is i think, i know it ties with rep) and so in car rides and at home, we would jam out to red all the time. one time, when the wanegbt music video came out, my mom caught the premiere of it and we watched it together it became my new favorite video (i prolly rewatched it at least 13 times) and red really didn't become anything to me until about last year when i started understanding the lyrics and hearing how beautiful the album is and loving it even more. ❤

1989- 1989!!! my jam!!! my babe!!!! pop anthem!!! i first heard this album on the way home from getting a Christmas tree with my mom. we stopped at Wal-Mart and i saw the album and had to get it. she gave in and we got it and jammed out to it on the way home. 1989 is really summery to me but it actually makes me think of Christmas and i listen to it most at Christmas time haha. i know places became my favorite and i don't know why, it just did. this was around the time that i began going on the internet and fangirling over taylor and i got a fan page on Instagram (i was foxesforswift on Insta too but logged out about a month or two ago because it was too much and everyone was so rude and irritating (exception for some wonderful people) and i just didn't feel right so i came to tumblr and love this so much better) and i became even more of a fan so 1989 was definitely my favorite era because so much happened and the tour was so magical and the album is so magical ahhh. 💙

rep- rep!!! taylor dmed me!!! wow! i am still so happy about that day

i remember crying soo hard and i was just so happy she knows what i looked like. the day she announced the album, i was sick at home and i was getting texts from my friends and they were like "LOOK ON INSTAGRAM!!TAYLOR SWIFT!! DJKSJDS" and i cried for a little bit lol. (also, we must not forget the snakes what a series). i preordered (actually my mom did) the reputation album and 1 magazine (i have yet to get the other) and i remember November 10th, wow what a day. for Christmas, i got a i ♡ ts shirt like the ones from the music video and my mom was so proud of herself for finding it on Amazon haha! aNd THEN WE GOT TICKETS FOR MY VERY FIRST TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT AND I CRIED ABOUT THAT FOR A WHILE TOO!! 🖤

now, here we are 87 days away:)

anyWaYs, I made this post for @taylorswift and anyone else who wants to read it! @taylorswift if you're reading this, thank you for being through it all 💗

[brooklynislandgirl]

Shipping meme: Beth/Marion ;D

Ship Meme || Accepting

Immediately begins to shimmy when maroon 5 comes on

Beth remembers laughing. There was nothing mean or cruel about it, but an innocent delight when Marion slanted her that Look the first time she played Animals. She couldn’t have possibly known then just why the other woman seemed disconcerted, or maybe confused. Certainly not thrilled by it. So what did she do? She turned the volume up until the beat vibrated through the floor and she started swaying to the beat, bare and tawny limbs almost a physical manifestation of the music. Eyes closed, she shimmied her way closer and closer, before reaching out, taking the Cajun by the hand and dragging her to her feet. Tiny delicate hands on her hips, Beth tried to get her to mimic the same moves she was making.

She’s still sure Marion hates the song.

Wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes.

It’s a euphemism. A dark one at that, but sometimes…necessary. Marion never makes the call lightly, or frequently. And Beth would be a liar if she said it didn’t worry her when she hears that raspy, wind-blown autumn leaves voice on the other end of the phone.But she always goes, crosses the trackless fens from one house to another. Sometimes she swims, sometimes…sometimes she even flies. She never stops to think that it’s unnatural, that in many ways even others of her kind would find this to be an abomination, but…she’s got a gift.And maybe for Marion, it’s kind of a sacrament, too. She always tries to be gentle, and sometimes, if Beth can focus beyond the agony, she swears she sees a kind of wonder in the other woman’s eyes.

Sends the other unsolicited nudes

“Mais non, chere,” she says. Shakes her head and waves a hand, but the ash on the cigarette never falls no matter how much Beth imagines it should.

“Why no? Ya lovely.”

“An’ yer a liar, you.”

No matter how often she asks, Marion refuses.

She stands in front of her canvas, considering what to paint when the text comes, almost frightening the little Hawai’ian. She doesn’t get many calls these days. She sets down her pallet, sets down her brush and goes to collect it. 

She’s silent for long minutes. She doesn’t know how. She doesn’t know why. She didn’t even think Marion had a cell-phone, but there it is. The woman’s frame is shadowed in places, blurred in others, a little out of focus, but just as expected, there’s so much life in them. 

Beth takes the phone back to the easel and changes out paint. She spends hours at her work, days, maybe a life time. And when she’s done, she carefully deletes each naked limb, each curve, each bit of Marion that has been sent, exactly as she promised.

After snapping a couple of photos to show her later, Beth hangs the portrait of Marion in her sanctum, to live with all of her other flowers.

Brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt

“Is true!”

Another slanted look full of disbelief as Marion takes a sip of her beer.

“Okay, okay. Mebbe he was jus’ playin’ nice, but I don’ t’ink he was. Had dis look on his face, starin’ up a’ me from da floor. Firs’ I t’ought he was gonna get up an’ murder me righ’ den an’ dere, yeah? Saw m’ whole life flash in da abyssal pits of his eyes an’ every kine. But den…hand t’ god an’ alla His angels, he smile. An’ dere was dis look of pride dat I manage to drop him.”

But the delight in her eyes dimmed after admitting that. “Kinda stopped teachin’ me t’ fight aftah dat.”

“Ya blame him? Men don’ like t’ be shown up.”“I guess.”“Still. Ya should be proud of yaself.” Marion grinned. “If it’s true.”

Comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops

Marion is determined to prove to Beth that for all it’s fame, the Cafe du Monde isn’t the only place to get beignets. Some times, Beth feels like she’s cheating. Marion assures her that fried lumps of dough don’t have feelings, and how does she know she’s not going to like something if she doesn’t try it. Beth’s brother used to tell her that all the time, so she can hardly belabour the point.Every once in a while, though, Beth has to wonder if they’re really talking about donuts.

Blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit

Marion’s fingers are surprisingly gentle when she trace’s Beth’s scar, though the lines, the whorls, the callouses are far rougher than they ought to be. They remind Beth of sharkskin. And when she reluctantly tells her the story, Beth is absolutely sure that Marion will make fun of her. Everyone who’s ever heard it always does.So when she doesn’t, Beth is…confused.

“Wha’ don’ kill ya…makes you stronger. So why would I poke fun at ya, girl?”

Beth looks away, maybe a little ashamed for having misjudged her.“But keepin’ gators as pets…is pretty stupid.”

Killed the guy (also, which hid the body)

She doesn’t come around for weeks. Why, she can’t say. It’s not fear, it’s not even really surprise. Maybe it’s because she has to take time to process her feelings about things, maybe it’s because she feels like she stole the secret and she’s not sure what Marion will say to her, if she even let’s Beth visit.

But the rain pours down behind her, and a few drops collect under the decaying porch. The screen door hangs limply from its frame. On the other side of it, not a little unlike being on opposite sides of the Confessional, Marion’s face is…hard.

Something about her eyes hurts Beth and all the words she thought she was going to say evaporate on her tongue, leaving prolonged silence to eat at them. And maybe that was the wrong choice of words.

“I don’ care,” she says eventually. “No, dat’s not it. I do. I mean. Ya no can jus’. What I mean…”

Marion’s mouth twists into an ugly snarl. “Didn’t need ya advice or ya permission, but thanks.”

The little witch snaps then, not meaning to, planting her bare, muddy feet like oak roots. “And ya gonna lissen f’ me. I care… because I care about you. So if ya gonna go ‘round eatin’ people, well…firs’ ya gonna prolly have t’ explain dat t’ me, an’ wha’ ya are… an’ den…mebbe…work some kine out.”

A small epoch passes, but eventually, Marion pushes the door open and walks back into the recesses of her house.But it’s a start.

Wears the least clothing around the house

Marion considers allowing Beth to keep a spare set of clothes at her house. She  understands that there’s limitations to the witch’s magick and Beth confesses never being able to figure out how to change shape and retain clothes at the same time. Beth tells her it’s got something to do with the Spheres, as she calls them, and how Matter and Life aren’t the same, how nature …and around there is where Marion kind of tunes her out. 

It’s not that hard to grasp but it’s unnecessary and if anything Beth talks a lot. Like she has all these words saved up and they tend to spill out at the least provocation.

She’s offered Beth use of a shirt now and then. Girl goes out of her way to return it, primly folded and laundered. Sometimes it’s still warm as if fresh from her skin. And it always smells like her…faintly tropical, faintly earthy, sweetness and spice.

Has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason

She’s a touchy little thing, Beth. If it’s not the dancing a little too close, she likes to card her fingers through Marion’s hair. Sometimes it’s a hug before she slips out of the door and into the trees. Sometimes, it’s dropping her chin to look over Marion’s shoulder. Or an ‘aloha’ peck on the cheek.

Beth seems to like to play with fire, and she doesn’t think the girl understands just how dangerous that inclination is.

One of these days, she’ll find out the hard way, and Marion hopes, for Beth’s sake, it’s long in coming.

[sophygurl]

I love the question memes and my fave kind is the kind @pixiedane​ just tagged me in (thank you!). [Also sidenote: ILU @theawkwardterrier​ for always tagging me in the tagging memes but JSYK I won’t be doing the latest one because I’m just not really a picture person so I don’t really have a lot of pictures saved and the idea of trying to use whatever weird random stuff I might have saved to describe myself would just not work. But you’re the best and I’ll catch ya on the next one!]

The rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

1. What’s the meaning of your name? Does it suit you?

Rosemary doesn’t seem to have a specific meaning, although of course it’s an herb, and Rosemary is for remembrance, which is hilarious given my memory problems. Mary means bitter, so some name meaning sites say the meaning of my name is “bitter rose” which I guess is a nice combo of sweet and sad, which I would not really classify myself as. So, no, the various meanings of my name do not suit me.

The name itself? Does. I love my name, and while most people can’t be bothered with a 3 syllable name in casual conversation, my preference is to be called Rosemary and not Rose. Rose does not feel like me.

2. What’s a movie you never get tired of?

A lot of movies fit under this category, but the movie I have probably seen the most amount of times and can still watch either in full or in chunks and still enjoy every single second of no matter what is Dirty Dancing. 

3. Your favourite movie soundtrack?

Are we talking soundtrack as in collection of songs used in the movie and put into an album, or as in score for the movie, or?

Because nothing but nothing beats the Star Wars scores for me. Well, original and prequels and TFA anyway - the last two have diverged quite a bit which has felt odd to me but whatever. [Second place would be the scores for the 70/s80s Superman movies - also John Williams of course]

If collection of songs - then we’re back to Dirty Dancing.

Although if we’re considering soundtracks of musicals, then I’m gonna be reduced to flailing and just naming half a dozen or so, so we’ll just pretend that’s not part of the question. 

4. How would you describe your personal style?

Accidental? I pretty much just buy things that I find interesting, and then put things together that seem interesting to me, and then end up with some pretty ... interesting outfits. One of my roommates actually described my look yesterday as “crazy” if that tells you anything.

Think colors that don’t quite match, conflicting patterns, stripey socks, chunky jewelry, and then at times like now at the end of winter when I haven’t shaved my head in awhile - short floppy hair that is sticking up in all directions that I swear I tried to tame but it just doesn’t take. 

5. Name a fictional crush.

Spike from Buffy. Also Buffy from Buffy. And put them together? Double crush. 

6. What’s your motto?

I don’t really have a motto, per se, but I do have a mantra, which is: love, peace, joy, hope. Those are the qualities I try to embody, embrace, spread, whatever. All four are of equal importance to me. 

7. Are you a gamer?

If by gamer, you mean obsessively playing the Sims, then yes. But most people who consider themselves gamers would probably say no.

8. Would you rather spend time on a secluded beach or at a fancy cocktail party?

How about a fancy cocktail party on a secluded beach? Too much sand in the drinks, never mind.

Ah, these are both problematic for me. I don’t do so well with being completely alone, especially without some kind of distraction or diversion. I guess if I had a book with me on the beach, I’d be okay for a little while, but I’d also get uncomfortable super fast if there wasn’t, like, a comfy sofa or something to recline on. 

And I also don’t do well with fancy, or come to think of it with cocktails since I can’t drink any more with the meds I have to take. 

But, if I had to choose, I’d probably pick the party. I’d be dressed inappropriately (probably something with loud colors and polka dots?), and sitting in the corner mostly people watching, and I’d get overwhelmed and head home early, but still. 

9. Recommend a television series.

oohhhoooomygods just ONE?

I’ve rec’d this one many times, but since it just came back for season two last night (I haven’t watched the ep yet - it’s next on my list), I’m gonna recommend Imposters to you all again.

Imposters is a lil show with a small but dedicated fandom on Bravo. 

It stars Inbar Lavi (Prison Break, The Last Ship) as a con woman and Rob Heaps (Home Fires, And Then There Were None), Parker Young (Arrow, Suburgatory), and  Marianne Rendón (Mapplethorpe) as three of the people who she has swindled. Additionally, Brian Benben (Private Practice, Dream On), Stephen Bishop (Being Mary Jane), Chastity Dotson (Pitch, Veronica Mars), and Denise Dowd (Secrets and Lies, Beverly Hills 90210) star. 

The story of season one is that these three scorned exes find one another and begin a quest to find the woman they all alternately view as their loving spouse and the cruel con who stole everything from them. Along the way, they learn some cons of their own, gain back some of their confidence, and of course discover the power of friendship. 

There are many twists and turns along the way which I won’t spoil for anyone who wants to watch season 1 for themselves, but it involves cons within cons within cons and unlikely teammates. 

Also - Uma Thurman as a hitwoman.

As the finale of season one had our three scorned exes riding off together into the sunset, I am very excited to see where season two leads us. Seriously, you have to watch this show. 

[But if I may very quickly rec some of my other underwatched faves: 12 Monkeys, Colony, Counterpart, Ghosted, Insecure, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, Madam Secretary, People of Earth, Scream, Speechless, Timeless, UnREAL,You’re the Worst - ask me about my underwatched faves plz.]

10. Do you have any phobias?

Boy howdy, do I! I have OCD, which often comes with phobias as part of the anxiety which leads to some of the obsessive compulsions. [FELLOW PHOBES MIGHT WANNA SKIP THIS PART - PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.]

I have a slight germ phobia which I mostly don’t go deep into because I don’t have the energy to do what I’d need to do to feel better about it so I just make myself not-think about it really hard, but the underlying anxiety is Still There. 

This is especially true of what I call “poop germs” - which is anything that has ever been inside of a bathroom ever. This makes, you know, having to use bathrooms very upsetting and problematic for me, so again, I deploy my aggressive pretending it’s not there as much as I can, but poop germs can cause me to break down into tears on a bad day. Fun times!

I’m also an emetophobe, which means I’m terrified of throwing up - a fun little phobia to have when you have constant low-grade nausea which occasionally flares up to higher-grade, lemme tell ya.

Another biggie is infestation of any kind - so any kind of insect or small animal that comes into my home. Like, I am absolutely fine seeing these critters outside where they belong - I might even oooh and aaah. But the second I see one INSIDE - I’m screaming bloody murder and waking up the entire apartment complex. 

I’ve worked real hard at being less scared of the harmless single bugs that enter a home, especially the kind that EAT other bugs - so for example I am perfectly fine with spiders (being obsessed with Charlotte’s Web as a kid helps), and even centipedes after the initial screaming over how creepy they look is done. And I’ve gotten where I look insects up on websites that identify bugs and talk about them in positive/scientific ways and have stopped panicking about certain bugs and their larvae now as I can tell which ones are and aren’t actually harmful or prone to infestation. BUT. I’m still prolly gonna scream when I initially see them because eaauughhss. 

Those are the main ones, but the fun thing about OCD is that new ones develop all the time if you don’t stay vigilant about letting those obsessive thoughts do their thang, so I try real hard to ignore those news segments and articles about bringing black lights into hotel rooms and about all of the horrible ways people are committing violent crimes these days and other terrifying and/or gross things that might creep their ways into my fear center. 

11. What’s your rarest rarepair?

Oh, good question. I don’t tend to have rarepairs because the way I fandom is deep immersion into canon and not necessarily delving into fanon/fanfic. So even my non-canon ships tend to be ones that the canon itself at least played with a little bit or that the fandom-at-large has talked about enough that I start to see it. lol

I’m having trouble even thinking about a ship I have that could be classified as rare? It would probably be something involving Spike because I ship that fool with pretty much everyone he’s ever shared screentime with because he is just so yummy, and because Marsters was just really good about getting his character to bring interesting things out of whatever characters he was interacting with, and because he’s clearly so omnisexual that he just oozes chemistry with everyone he meets, but like. I’m also definitely not the only one who sees all that about him and also is shipping him left right and center. So. I’ll just toss out Spike/Harmony because I’ve never heard of anyone else who actually liked them together ha!

Phew! That was fun. I hope all of you all who I end up tagging have as much fun with my questions (and if not, feel free to use some of pixie’s).

My questions:

What is your #mood rn?

Tell me the sweetest childhood memory you can think of.

Favorite mythological/fantastical animal/creature.

What is your favorite mode of storytelling - for example, books, movies, TV shows, graphic novels, video games, etc. - and why do you think that’s your fave form?

Star Trek, Star Wars, or Starlord? (this is not a serious question and you may feel free to expound upon all three if you wish)

Favorite type of geographical location to visit, and is it different from where you prefer to live?

Name a character that you love, but who you would probably hate in real life.

Reboots, renewals, and revivals. Are they ruining your childhood or do you love ‘em?

Tell me about your favorite cookie (or other sweet if you don’t care for cookies).

If there is one thing people could just atomatically know about you upon meeting you that would make socializing with you better or easier, what would it be?

A lot of stories based on comics posit the theory that eventually humanity will evolve into at least some humans developing super powers. Suppose this started happening today - what would the results be, do you think?

Tagging:

(and of course, please consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this - I’d tag all of you if I could but I try and just pick folks I think enjoy doing these. if I’m ever wrong - please feel free and ignore the tag. additionally - please remember to tag ME so I can see your responses! also, feel free to re-tag me in this one since the questions differ and you all know how much I love to talk about myself.)

@absolutelyiris, @dianebluegreen, @c-l-ford, @theawkwardterrier, @the-invisible-queer, @brokenyellowcrayons, @knitmeapony, @fatherjerusalem, @swordsandparasols, @dmphelps, @nightlocktime

[transbcyfriend]

Every Question >:3

well Shit ig now bc i’m Required By Law to answer these i gotta

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yes – and god am i grateful.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

i mean i’m 18 so uhhhhhhhhh yeah

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

…yesterday? the day before?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i do it all the time at work so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i wouldn’t say mad.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

too many to count!

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

a legend of zelda hoodie and a wild patterned set of lounge pants from pink republic. i haven’t changed in several days i’m uh Sick

8. How often do you listen to music?

if i don’t do it every single day it’s scientifically proven i’ll shrivel up and die

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans. jeans definitely.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

it did at the time, and not for the better. fuck that shit

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

mmMMMMMmMMM depends on the situation?? if i’m like clocked in at work, if i’m somewhere i actively enjoy, or on The Web™, i’m social, but otherwise i don’t rlly interact with ppl hnfngnf

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

not yet.

13. What about ‘R’?

nope!

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

can i get a FUCK NO

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

depends on the person. someone i’m close to and like? yes. someone who i’m not close to and dislike? nah.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

nope.

17. When was the last time you cried?

mmmmMMMMMM a few days ago? few days ago.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yes.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

HMMMM y’know i don’t think i would, mine are like ?? hazel and ppl make comments abt them being diff colors n shit in certain lights sometimes and i Like That so

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

in fact, yes! i would uh Die For Him

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

i’m sick and can’t breathe

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

YOU KNOW I BE ON THAT GAY SHIT !!!!!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

nope

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a wooden chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yep!

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

oh yeah. god yeah.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

@lazybones25 

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, not rlly. last time i got sick was … sophmore year of hs? junior year? i don’t remember.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

it was a gift from my buddy bri

30. Does anyone hate you?

there’s at least one i can think of off the top of my head, soooooo yeah

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

noooo, me? drink? me, a consumer of alcohol. ur pullin’ my leg, i don’t drink

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

i’m just Meh on it bc most movies nowadays are so played out and predictable that they’re just not scary to me

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

kinda, yeah. it’s an on/off want, still deciding.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

just one? fuck. any of the years between being 13-16.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

actually i did! i had a dream i lost my job bc one of my managers was in a bad mood and was basically like “well u should’ve thought more abt your career than ur education, ur fired since u wanna go 2 college, can’t change ur hours”

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

few hours ago.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

mmmm … unlikely.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yep.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

i’d hope so! don’t gotta be, but it’d be cute and i’d Like That

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

it was ok – i spiraled into being sick, but it was ok

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

unlikely.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yep.

44. What’s the best part about school?

mmm mM MM prolly just making friends w/ ppl in ur classes. that, and just how chill the professors are. 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

fun fact – i don’t have a facebook.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

fuck yeah my guy

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

way too often

48. Were you single over the last summer?

nope.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

absolutely not and god i’m rlly happy abt that

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

looking when college classes start again but i Don’t Wanna

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

i’d be lying to ur face if i said yes

52. Are you nice to everyone?

i try to be – some ppl tho, i just. can’t. there’s reasonable salt.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yep!

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve done it before, i don’t see why not.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

when the situation calls for it, i’d like to think so

56. Do you think you like someone?

mhmm

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

…… y’know i don’t think i have! that’s surprising i’ve kissed a lotta ppl

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

tbh p much the only ppl i tend to never rlly make friends with are cis guys. there’s rare exceptions, but the vast majority of my buddies are either cis girls or trans/nonbinary/etc.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yep – a few of them. not many, but a few.

60. Do you hate anyone?

i wouldn’t say hate, but there’s a couple of ppl i severely dislike.

61. How’s your heart?

atm? better. better than usual, i’m rlly glad abt that

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

anytime from being 12-17

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

yeah.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

i ain’t gonna say names buuuuuuut Someone I Know

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they’re painted a dark wine red actually, i uh got bored

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

best decision of my life, if anything

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

from my own Personal Experience, kinda? i mean every person i’ve been w/ kinda likes it bc it’s like, i’m letting my walls down and letting them in, so i mean ig

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

thankfully no!

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

@lazybones25

70. How do you look right now?

surprisingly decent for feeling icky

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

just two – but i’m content w/ that.

72. Can you commit to one person?

under the right circumstances, ya – otherwise i gotta dip

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

my roommate @stasiroowho

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

can i get a Hell Yeah and It Hurts

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, i just woke up wanting attention and feeling Blah

76. Are you a jealous person?

hhMHMhmMMHMHM depends ?? ? ? if we’re talking from a relationship perspective, like i don’t give a shit if the other person wants to like, make a shitton of buddies and like actually Have A Life, that’s good, but when it comes to like, romance specifically? then i’m just. m i n e

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

very rarely, but some are and god is it so fucking satisfying in every aspect

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

can i get a HOOYAHHHH

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to the apartment and uh Feed Cats

81. Last person you cried in front of?

do i rlly gotta @ my homeboi ash a 3rd time

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

in a good way or a bad way?

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

yeee – in a good way tho

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably either just chillin’ watching netflix and eating chips/popcorn, or gettin’ heated while also shotgunning that good good

85. Are you over your past?

CAN I GET A FUCK NO

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

just two! and two’s a good number, i’m happy w/ that.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

i’d immediately murder him on the spot. i’d still take the gifts off his corpse tho bc hey Free Shit

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

ya – i do trust that one, he made me breakfast one time so i wouldn’t burn my own house down, he a tru homie

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

uuuhhhhhhh-huh

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

highly likely

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

i used to! he was the Popular Kid™ back in high school, who fuckin’ knows where he’s at now

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

when i was like 4, yeah, we were each other’s childhood crush so uh shrugs

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope! things were getting heavy, but no relationship yet.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

absolutely.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

hmmmmmmmmaybe

97. Who do you have texts from?

in general? my mom, ash, 3 coworkers, one of my managers, my one tru buddy from the womb @infinitelycastiel, and my buddy lynette.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

i mean ?? i’d b upset, i’d b depressed, i’d b a lil torn up abt it, but i ain’t gonna stop whatever happens from happening. not my choice to

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

ya – not too much older, but ya

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

AAAAAAAALL BY MY, SEEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEEEEEEELF

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

fun fact: no

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yEP

[cheerstocrazy]

Vegas Weekend Recap

Jenny hit me up to go to Vegas bc she got left behind, but I was supposed to have an interview on Friday. It ended up getting cancelled, so I started to pack frantically. I was freaking out bc I was SO FAT and felt so rushed. We finally got on our merry way, made it to Vegas after a truly pain-inducing car ride, getting lost, not being able to find a parking garage. It sucked, but I kept my cool the entire time. We parked so far and had to walk for what felt like a mile to the hotel. When we got there, no one even opened the door bc they were all passed out from the pool party. I thought 2 of the guys were gay bc their eyebrows were done lolol. FF a bit and we all got dressed to go to Marquee. We took quite a few shots. All in all, it was a bust of a night bc I wasn’t feeling buzzed, and the girls wanted to go home. Oh well, at least I got 6 hours of sleep. I was exhausted, but I could’ve gone ham too. Drank a crap ton for the pool party the next day, but felt drunk off 6 shots bc I only have falafels in the morning!! Made it to the pool party, and Jas forgot her ID UGH. Jen and I weren’t abt to wait on her, so we grabbed our 2 free drinks and just sat and wait around. Also Jen was kinna a buzzkill bc she was sick and couldn’t drink and was sober. Anyway, pool party was fun, I didn’t even finish my drinks and was feeling so drunk. I think I danced with Knox and had to take care of him too, bc he wasn’t a functional human anymore. Saw Kevin which was kinna cool. Oliver Heldens was the DJ, and the music was really good. We got a really cool Ethiopian driver with whom I enjoyed conversing, but turns out he only did it to get a large tip, so FUCK YA, YA DOUCHE. Jenny was so done once she got home, she couldn’t get up anymore. We walked everywhere to find food, and she wasn’t feeling it/hungry at all, so she didn’t go out at night. I also matched with a Welsh dude from Tinder and I told him we were going out to Omnia. We got dressed and pregamed pretty hard. I drink too much. I ended up wearing Susy’s pretty friggin revealing black cropped/tie top with no bra, and I felt so naked, but looked hot so whatever. We had such an annoying taxi incident again after when a fucking driver kept going when we said wait, we’ll get out. We ended up running over to Omnia bc Susy’s guy was so close to the front of the line and there was so much miscommunication. That killed our vibes and my buzz so much. We were sweating, hot, and annoyed. Finally found the 3 guys, so I asked the bouncer from behind if we could go to the front to meet them. Then we go up, and this fucking LATINO BOUNCER ON A POWER TRIP tries to start something with us and telling us either the guys enter only or everyone goes back. You just cut. The guys were helping us and making up valid excuses. Then the bouncer is like you should have asked if you could cut. I was like BRUHHHH, I FUCKING ASKED THE BLACK ONE BACK THERE. JUST FUCKING HOLD UP A SECOND, ILL GET HIM PINCHE PENDEJO. Wtf, why is everyone trying to start a fight with us. NO ONE HAS GOOD VIBES!! We went in and it turns out they didn’t even have a table FUCK. We’re like well shit, we ain’t paying, so we ended up having to get the guest list pass after all, and it worked out thank god. They ditched the guys which was kinna sad, but not my problem. Anyway, we made it up 3 flights of stairs and he bought us a round of tequila shots. I downed it like a champ and didn’t cringe while the girls made the sour face. I was shocked myself. Jas and I left her bc Jas was like ok, I’m abt to show you a good time, I love Omnia. We took a lap around the tables and didn’t see anyone that looked like they were offering a spot. We made it to the bar and were like we don’t even have our IDs or cards to buy anything. I see this super slim and drunk hairy Italian eyeing Jas. She talks to him, he’s saying oh, you are so beautiful, are you from the heavens? Then I cut to the chase and say if you think she’s so beautiful, buy her a drink! He’s like sure, so I called out 3 TEQUILA SHOTS PLEASE. lmao. He was dressed super shitty, but I guess after that shot, I was feeling loose, so he started hitting on me and who am I to resist? We just danced with each other and we hooked up (fml). He’s not a bad kisser by any means, and we spent a lot of time with each other. I gave him a HJ on the dance floor, and he fingered me a little too heh. I took a couple of photos and he kept kissing me along the neck, which I really liked. I just like to be held/touched when I’m drunk, which he was doing. Also, my philosophy is you gotta find a guy to do shit with to pass the time with. Jas was with a creepy guy and wanted to go, so I was like whenever you want to peace, just lmk. We left to find Susy, and Jas swore she was on the terrace, when I was like SHE IS ON THE BOTTOM DANCE FLOOR!!! GIRL, U IS DRUNK. Anyway, we finally find her and yay happy times! Also, I think the Italian found me again, so I was like shit how??? Jas bounced bc she didn’t have a guy and wanted to get more drinks. Danced with the Italian all the while the Welsh guy is texting me asking where I am. I’m drunk, I’m dancing with a guy, and texting Welsh all at once. Idk where I was or how I got there, so it’s just a lot of back and forth (read Whatsapp, kinna funny). I had no clue where I was, only described the music. Finally, he said he was at the Hearts Club, and I looked around and was like wait I’m here too!!! I told him to wait in an obvious place, and I’d go find him. It’s 3 am. I walked to the bar and passed this guy along the rail, Idk what came over me, but when I passed the end of the rail, I turned back and shouted Tom??? He turned around, and I was so elated! I remember thinking, “Oh, he’s cute!” I think I hugged him. I’m not sure if I grabbed his hand, but we went to dance with Susy. Everything is super fuzzy here. I think we were just dancing casually when we were with Susy, and he was still holding his beer. He ended up taking me to the bar and we took a love shot together. It was by far one of hte worst shots ever. After I took it, I was gagging and screaming at the bartender can I get a lime????? Then after he saw my reaction, he gave me a cup of water and a glass of pineapple juice. SWEET ANGEL FROM HEAVEN, TYSM. You know nothing in Vegas is free, but he gave me all of that!! After this, Idk where he lead me, but I’m guessing it was the main stage. He grabbed my face to kiss me, and his lips were really similar to the Italian’s, almost same kissing style too, but he used significantly less tongue which I appreciated. The one thing abt his kissing is that he was a tease, so he pulled away after a while, when I just wanted to keep kissing. I left my phone in his shirt pocket so I could dance hands free. Idr when, but I heard Disarm You play, so I opened my eyes and looked up, and we were 10 feet away from Kaskade, which was a total moment for me!! I was having a freakout bc I love that song!! Kaskade was there!!! Wtf how???? He played Atmosphere and Eyes too, I was gonna cry!! I would turn around so we were back to front, so I could dance, but he just turned me around. Then I look at my phone and start seeing texts from an unknown number so I assumed it was Susy. She’s like where the fuck are you???? I texted her and told her to leave me. I was gonna leave with him tonight. I just needed them to open the door later. We clearly weren’t on the same schedules bc I meant open the door later as in the morning (possibly at night, idk I was drunk. Idk the time) She thought I wanted to leave immediately. She also thought I was already at the hotel, and I was like no wtf I’m still in Omnia where you left us. So I decided to regorup, I took him outside, and we found them (with other guys milking them for drinks JFC they’re good). They were so relieved haha. Jas also met him and she’s like so you’re from Wales? Do you speak Wale-ish? He said no, I speak Welsh, and she proceeded to ask him that 3x more SMFH. I think after talking, I said ok we’re gonna go use the RR. Went to use it and I just remember (all night tbh) me holding out my right hand, so he’d hold it and come with me. We come back and Susy is like NATALIE YOU NEED TO STOP DISAPPEARING LIKE THAT!! I was like what??? I told you I was gonna use the RR wtf. Anyway, we sat to the way right of them, and Idk what took over my brain, but after he sat down, I was like I’m going to sit on you, then I proceeded to wrap my arm around him. Clearly, wasn’t thinking Idk (?????) Some convo topics we had that I vaguely remember: I think I began with so you’re Welsh? He replied, How do you know that? I said well, you went to Cardiff...He’s like right. me: I know my geography, I’m not an idiot.  I asked for 2 cups of ice and was like how would you address a bartender in British? Mate?? He’s like mate or pal. I was like uhh, I would never say pal pero ok weirdo. I also was feeding him the pieces of ice, and some of them didn’t even make it in. lol Then he brought up the word randy, but Idr the context, probably talking abt himself. He’s like it means sexually aroused. I was like uh, def never heard that before.  I asked him to speak Welsh, and he’s like do you want to hear one of the hardest phrases? Sure. He said it and I couldn’t even tell where the syllables began and ended. I repeated it to him horrifically, and he just laughed. I couldn’t hear either and ofc I was drunk, so I was prolly slurring.  I asked him what his last name was (expecting a cool Welsh name): Jones. Your name is Tom Jones? You’re fucking kidding, right? That’s so classic British jfc. I couldn’t believe it. I probably laughed. He was 5′10-6′. He was muscular and fit like an American, which surprised me. He was wearing a t-shirt, Idk how he got into Omnia. He had really nice arms, which I kept feeling. He also smelled really nice, both of which I’m sure I told him. He’s super sweet, nice, relaxed, fun to be with, and supe gentlemanly. Didn’t go up my skirt at all on the dance floor. He went through my top sleeves a few times, and that’s it. I was surprised. I was like you can grab my boobs dude (in my head). It’s 5 am at this point, and everyone decides to leave. We also finally took our full length photos looking hella trashed. I grab Tom and we start walking to our hotel across the street, and I was like Tom I can’t walk anymore, can you give me a piggyback ride? He’s like ya sure, so he did, but she said your skirt’s gonna show. I was like Idc, I literally cannot walk anymore, so he tried to cover me. He would always be on the lookout behind and sideways, and whenever he saw someone he would spin so that my butt wasn’t facing them. His watch was also cutting into my left leg, so I was like ow, what is that? It’s hurting me. He put me down, took it off, then carried me again. That’s when I tried recording him, and he’s like if you record me, I’m putting you down. *hence the video. They got pizza, and I wasn’t even hungry. I was just so tired!! They all sat down to talk and we found Justin!!! Wtf!!!!! The feeling of being reunited is second to none haha! I sat next to Tom and was so tired, so I just wrapped my arm around his left and arm fell asleep on his shoulder. I really like to be held and hold people when I’m drunk -- something I’ve discovered. Susy was telling me to be careful with my top bc it was showing, but I could not care less. It was 5:35 ish at this point and I have no recollection abt getting back to the hotel, but I was still with Tom and we didn’t talk abt spending the night, but I guess it was expected. Jas was with her guy still, so I was like I guess I’m ok *shrugs* Jenny’s passed out on the bed, so I was like Jenny, go to the main bed. I told her a few times, and she was mumbling something back to me, but I didn’t hear. Then finally I was like, Jenny, there’s a guy! So she grabbed the blanket and hauled ass over there. I changed super quickly bc I was so uncomfortable and tired. I just gave him a HJ under the covers, and he was moaning so much, so I kept telling him Shhh. Sidenote: Jenny said she thought he was snoring so much, which is why I shushed him. LMAO. I also remember him adjusting the sheets and kissing me and I saw him smiling. So sweet. Anyway, after a bit of the HJ, my head met his dick, so I just gave him a BJ. It was super lite and before I saw it, I was like it doesn’t look that bad tbh. It also tasted really good and felt good too. I was trying to be so quiet, so I hardly did anything good. Then I told him to go down on me but either he was ignoring me or didn’t hear me. I asked him if he had a condom, and he didn’t. I think this is the point where I rolled over from exhaustion and bc we weren’t gonna have sex (!!! no condom!!!) Next thing I know, Im wakened up by this motion in my butthole/vagina area?? I was like is he fingering me...but it was really consistent, and I could start to feel the pressure. Then I thought omg is this anal? Then realized it was sex, and he was fucking me from behind. Then I was like but wait, he doesn’t even have a condom. It felt kinna good (idek, I was so sleepy) I was surprised he even got it in by himself. I could hear him moaning too, but I was in and out of slumber at this point. He was starting to go harder, so I could hear and feel the slaps really quickly. He repositioned himself and I think it fell out and he wasn’t getting a good angle anymore. He took it out, and I felt my vagina was a little wet, but I couldn’t tell if it was because I came or not. I don’t think he finished though. I fell asleep shortly after. Then I hear loud knocks on the door, and I was like who the fuck is that?? I was gonna open the door, looked under the blanket, and was like wtf I’m butt-naked, where are my shorts??? I just stayed under the sheets, but I also needed to pee, so I grabbed my green throw and wrapped it around me. I found my shorts and undies on the floor so I grabbed it and went into the RR right as Knox was leaving. He’s like, so who is that guy?? Why is his dick so small?? *makes the hook gesture with index finger* Can’t believe you settled for that, Natalie. Kept talking to me, ALL IN FRONT OF TOM (I just realized this rn, omg I’m mortified lololol) I was so embarassed bc he was not the first I wanted to talk to abt this, and I just met him a day ago. It was like a brother scolding sister talk. So funny but so awkward. I was putting on my undies and struggling so much. Tom was super cuddly. When I was cuddling him, he had one arm underneath me, and the other was one was holding my hand (not wrapped around him) on his chest. I remember being super tired, but liked the sensation of his hand and wanted to see if we were actually holding hands, so I moved it a bit. Whenever I turned around, he would always turn with me and cuddle me. He would slip his arm under my right arm and into my shirt. He just really liked the touch of skin. I also remember telling Knox to close the blinds, and he’s like OMG THERE ARE BUTTONS?? smfh. Anyway with the darkness, I think I gave him another HJ, but he didn’t finish. We fell back asleep.He tapped me ever so softly on my shoulder, and he said he was gonna go. I got up too and couldn’t find my sandals, so I went barefoot. He grabbed his shoes and we both left barefoot. He thought I was gonna leave him at the door, but I walked him all the way to the elevator. I asked him for the time while we were walking, but his phone was dead. When he left, Idk how he felt, but he grabbed my face to give me a peck. I am not a one peck girl, so I went back to kiss him twice more.  When everyone woke up in the morn, they were like NATALIE, WHAT HAPPENED GIRL????? Knox asked me for more details in the morn, and when I told him, he fist pounded me and said I like you!  It took me all morning to piece together what happened and looking through time stamps of convos bc I hardly remember anything. I don’t think I browned out, but I def don’t have full recollection. FML I didn’t mean/expect the night to turn out like this!! Omg, I’m a nice and normal person!! Also, I slept only 80 minutes that morning and I was suicidal all Sunday and I’m still freaking recovering from it. That was wild and ugh too much for my body to handle. 

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week forty

oops

brief considerations of the songs which debuted on billboard on 10.11.1997, 10.13.2007, and 10.14.2017

10.11.1997

1) "Candle in the Wind 1997/Something in the Way You Look Tonight," by Elton John

princess diana seemed like a nice person and i don't agree that it is good that she passed on. i think she should have continued to live, and finally, i found a song that agrees with my worldview.

44) "Too Gone, Too Long," by En Vogue

So real talk this is late because one week I saw two Post Malone songs and I said fuck it because, like, it's, and I just, I don't think it's fair when older generations yell at younger generations? But the average '90s R&B track was infinitely better than the average '10s anything. You could drive down the street bumping the radio and a song like this, with that small miracle that happens around the 3:00 mark, and this would be like the seventh-best song you'd hear. Kids these days are just listening to songs that don't make any stabs at greatness, they just exist in a way that doesn't motivate you to change the station. The problem is with the children. I'm not actually talking about this song, I'm talking about the way people consume music. This song is heckin' great and everyone should listen to it 20 times and then try to get through a Post Malone song.

58) "Heaven," by Nu Flavor

In this overly intense '90s R&B slo jamz, the R&B boys plead to God to convince this woman to fuck them. That sentence is the last thing I wrote for YAS before taking a weeks-long sabbatical and I'm glad I found it.

63) "Love Gets Me Every Time," by Shania Twain

Where do we rank Shania Twain in the diva pantheon? Like, this is a song with a hook I recognized when I heard it, after 20 years of just not thinking about this song I heard "dolgurn gone and done it" and was like "oh yeah! This jam!" and not all singers can dig that deep into your memory, but in terms of historical import, where does she rank? You can't really argue that "country needs a rep in the pantheon" because um hello? Dolly? but there's at least four Shania songs that are absolutely legendary. Does that merit inclusion among the greats? Or is Shania just on that second tier with a Kelly Clarkson or a Carrie Underwood, reliable but not as powerful as the women we'll tell our grandkids about?

65) "Electric Barbarella," by Duran Duran

One of the things that struck me as odd about the film Sing Street was the reverence with which the film treated Duran Duran. I always sort of thought Duran Duran was a boy band, but there was a film set in the heyday of Duran Duran's popularity, with a scene where an older brother extols the virtues of Duran Duran's musicianship to a younger brother, and I'm just like, "I never would have guessed this band was at the vanguard of new wave?" But I guess maybe they were a less dark Depeche Mode and I should check this out because this song from 1997 probably isn't indicative of peak Duran Duran? Hello welcome back to YAS I'm already asking questions to no one instead of offering criticism, it's like I never left.

70) "They Like it Slow," by H-Town

Sometimes, when you abandon a project for a while and come back, you notice things about the thing you're doing that you never would have noticed if you had worked on it in the last two months. To that end: I just realized all the 1997 and prolly most of the 2007 music videos were shot in 4:3. Like, when they filmed these music videos, they were composing shots with the idea they would be on TVs. That's kind of interesting! Like, when you go to film school, you probably have the idea you're gonna direct films, so having to compose shots for a smaller aspect ratio probably fucks you up a little bit. Anyway, I can't tell if this '90s R&B slo jamz is a parody or not.

87) "A Smile Like Yours," by Natalie Cole

"I have seen the bluest skies/Rainbows that would make you cry." It's absolutely amazing which lines in these songs gain significance from 20 years of events. Like, that line about rainbows takes on a whole new meaning now that we've all enjoyed and then forgot about the Double Rainbow video.

91) "Alright," by Jamiroquai

groovy! i’m okay with this! this is like what all the calvin harris songs would sound like if they were good.

92) "Spin Spin Sugar," by Sneaker Pimps

there's so much cool stuff happening in this song and i really just wanna sit down and get to know this band a lot more because they've always seemed like something i was supposed to like and now i realize that i do actually like them, unfortunately WE'RE LISTENING TO 100 SONGS TONIGHT GOODBYE GOOD SONG I WILL KEEP THIS MEMORY WARM IN MY HEART UNTIL THE END OF TIME

10.13.2007

58) "Tattoo," Jordin Sparks

This is a song that just barely missed the lyric video trend. If any song needed to have words appearing on random actors' skin, it was this one, it would have been such a no-brainer decision. Like, you do it right, hire some calligraphers and tell them to take it up a thousand notches, you have a classic lyric video. Wasn't e'er to be, though. Just a standard music video, and I guess a nice song? It's very2007. It's very the sort of song you'd give to the winner of a forgettable Idol season. "Oh, that? Uh, yeah, keep it. It's either going on this album or in that trash can, might as well use every part of the buffalo that is my brain."

80) "The Way I Am," Ingrid Michaelson

this is the sonic version of a scarf worn indoors in june

86) "Our Song," Tay Tay

"Our song is a slammin' screen door." Did you know Tay Tay's dad was an investment banker? I have reason to believe Tay Tay's only seen a screen door in movies. I dunno. Do rich people have screen doors? I've never been in a mansion, but I don't think screen doors would be appropriate for mansions.

91) "Shoulda Let You Go," Keyshia Cole intro./Amina

I like how Billboard gave Amina an "introducing" credit. You don't see that in music nowadays. Now it's just "hey this 17-year-old has a million plays on Soundcloud, what do you mean you 'haven't heard of him,' he's already been responsible for thirteen memes and they're all dead, we're actually over him already, he's lame now." It is now known that Amina was actually a woman who was okay at rapping. The point still stands, I'd at least like to know that the randos on these songs are people no one but the people who made this song know.

96) "Hypnotized," Piles ft./Akon

"I know she wet 'cuz she told me." I don't know why, but this line tickles me! "Piles, you got me so wet." "YO, SHE'S WET! I MADE HER WET, GUYS!" "You touch mine and I touch yours." Piles must be hypnotized because in my (admittedly limited) experience with his work he doesn't seem like a man who gives head. He seems like a man who needs to be coerced into reciprocating pleasure.

97) "Nothin' Better to Do," LeAnn Rimes

OK so real talk, while I was listening to this song I got distracted because I realized I hadn't updated my Poke Bank subscription in like a year and I have so many precious little babies I need to keep forever, and you know what? This is a fun song. I didn't really need to pay attention to it! It's a song about being naughty that keeps it PG enough to play on country radio, and I wouldn't mind bumping into it again!

100) "Fake It," Seether

So Amy Lee and the dude from Seether broke up. After the break-up, Evanescence hit first with "Call Me When You're Sober," which isn't a particularly devastating song, but the title is incredibly unsubtle, and, like, Seether's a shitty post-grunge band, of course he's an alcoholic, and Amy Lee is right to say "yo I'm kinda done with this, I don't like dealing with the drunk you." Seether strikes back by saying Amy Lee is a liar and that he "feels so raped," and Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm gonna go ahead and say that's #problematic! Amy Lee made a dumb but fair song about how she was out of patience, and here comes Donald Trump by way of Creed to say "YOU ARE RAPING ME WITH THIS BREAK-UP." Like, I'm gonna go ahead and say that the part using rape metaphors to describe their feelings is the one in the wrong in this mediation.

10.14.2017

65) "I Fall Apart," by Post Malone 100) "Go Flex," by Post Malone

i could have spent eight minutes sitting perfectly still listening to ambient noise and have had the same emotional reaction. "never caught a feeling this hard/harder than the liquor i pour." oh fuck off already.

70) "Good Old Days," by Macklemore ft./Kesha

FINALLY. The pop music gods have heard my prayers: Macklemore rapping about nostalgia. Everything I love, in one delightful package! ...He shouts out Minnesota and this is probably gonna end up being the best song from this week because of that and also because this week is lookin' pretty horrible.

94) "Losing Sleep," by Chris Young

OK so real talk during this bro country joint I got distracted because I was looking at new music releases and APPARENTLY THERE'S AN ANIMATED MOVIE BASED ON "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU?" IT WAS MADE THIS YEAR? THIS YEAR. YOU CAN BUY IT ON DVD TODAY AND OWN IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. I'm sorry. I'm not going to bother processing whatever bullshit this song is about, sex I guess, because THIS WORLD IS CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE. This is a movie. This is also a movie which presupposes that this entire time "All I Want for Christmas Is You" is about a puppy that Mariah Carey needed for a... charity fashion show? "Great! We're short one girl with a dog!" "Oh..." This is a cinematic masterpiece and my life is better for having stumbled across it. This and Pokemon Christmas Bash.

95) "Like I Loved You," by Brett Young

So the writer of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You is one Temple Mathews, who has also written The Little Mermaid II, Peter Pan II, and 101 Dalmatians 2. That is a fucking nuts credit roll, Temple. Dude also goes multiple years between projects, which suggests to me he's like someone at Disney's cousin, and every couple years that person at Disney goes "hey, Temple, wanna make $100,000?" and Temple says "fuck yeah bro" and Temple just lives off that. He makes smart investments and lives in a cabin in Montana and has never actually seen a movie because why would you look at pictures when you've got mountains in your backyard? Temple is living the best life. Dude's my hero. He has someone describe a cartoon to him and writes something based off that and never has to write a second draft.

97) "Round Here Buzz," by Eric Church

Listen, if Eric Church is gonna give us repeats of songs he's done before, at least he's giving us repeats of "Give Me Back My Hometown." It's a slower, sadder version of that song, one that can't be misconstrued as an "I'm poor AND PROUD OF IT!" anthem, this is a song that can only be about a dude thinking about a girl living a life without him while he lives a life with her ghost, but also "Give Me Back My Hometown" is more fun? I dunno, this still prolly gets 2017 SOTY, I've just heard it before. Also, Eric Church? Welcome to the Decade Dance Club. You are the 36th member, and the tenth white male country artist.

98) "Plain Jane," by A$AP Ferg

ok nvm this is song of the week, simply because in the first verse Ferg raised and lowered the volume of his voice. this song went somewhere! this song actually did something! it didn't just bleep and bloop for three minutes or be about how it's nice when things are good, Ferg had things he wanted to say and delivered his lines with actual emotions! he did the bare goddamn minimum, and by 2017 standards, that's pretty good! i'm actually going to remember this song a little bit!

Who won the week?

1997. Like, of course 1997 won. It had Sneaker Pimps and Shania, if 1997 lost to these other wack-ass years it would’ve been stunning.

Standings: 1997: 15 2007: 12 2017: 13 oh god all the songs for the next edition look awful, welp

[surveystodestressme]

47.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 8

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? i like sex on the beach a lot but i honestly like a lot of mixed drinks 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? nahh, i try not to put too much thought into my decisions lol 703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? i don’t know what any of these are.  i guess pasta primavetra 704. If you were alone in your friend’s house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? i’d probably just watch tv

705. What would you really like to do but you don’t because you are afraid of getting caught? gamble??? lol idk

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible: this one i guess spontaneous: tactful: uninhbited: 707. Which band would you most likely check out? The Smiths (indi-pop 80’s-90’s) probably this one The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90’s) Front 242 (80’s-90’s industrial/dance) 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? commit to everything that you ever need to get done 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? well, i don’t have a car but if i did i would want bluetooth so i can always listen to my own music 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? i don’t like poetry 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? uh... walmart? i guess 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? absolutely 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? lol i mean kind of? 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? i haven’t done the originial so i have no idea honestly 715. What’s the most creative answer you can think of for ‘what is black and white and red all over’? a sunburnt penguin 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? just to be cautious, i guess 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? possible, i guess 718. It’s daddy’s birthday. What do you get him? something sports related 719. What’s your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. indie creme pie 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it’s all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you’re holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it’s done you’re on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? drugs prolly 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? definitely some of my high school teachers 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? i like alice in wonderland 723. Write a question and answer it here. what do you want to be doing right now? eating 724. Who is your favorite playwright? i don’t have one 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? there are so many lol 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? poop 727. Do you like truffles? Do you like Turkish delight? not a huge chocolate person 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? it doesn’t really matter if i can or not 729. What’s funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? lol neither? 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. i didn’t actually 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? plaid for sure 732. What would you consider ordinary? blondes 733. What is out of the ordinary? dogs with sweaters 734. Do you ever watch COPS? I FUCKING LOVE COPS 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? i hate jello 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? a horror drama 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? buoyancy??? idk if that even makes sense 738. When do you act the most dramatic? every single day of my entire life 739. Are you one of those people who have, “see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? i don’t think so 740. It’s mom’s birthday. What do you get her? she’s hard to shop for so idk, i’d probably ask 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now’? amanda bynes 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? jack has done that before lol.  except with his mother and i was a lil mad because we talked about seeing it and he went without me but it ended up being a good movie and he took me later that week or something 743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? not many, i’d say 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? nah. 745. If you haven’t would you want to? sure 746. If you ever did what would you write? something significant 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? death 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? when people chew with their mouth open 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish in a tank 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? loved 100% 751. What causes you to panic? lots of things man 752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? i think so? unless that’s a bad thing lol 753. When Jesus saves souls…does he trade them in for valuable prizes? idfk man, do i look like jesus? 754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years? lose weight or at least get in better shape 755. Why wait? bc i’m lazy 756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? working against me most of the time 757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life? watch something or read something 758. How much Tolkien have you read? i don’t even know what that is 759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to: Time Bomb by Rancid Dead Man’s party by Oingo Boingo The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha this one 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Run by collective Soul 760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? no 761. Do you believe he was the son of god? idfk dude 762. How do you feel about organized religion? i don’t care 763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? idk 763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick? a cat 764. Name a group of people: crowd 765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hopefully 766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets? never seen it 767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? never seen it. 768. Metallica or Guns N’ Roses? metallica 769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? i used to 770. Do you like reggae music? not really. 771. What makes your life worth it every day? getting to see the ones i love 772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? sure 773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? every single day 774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy’ or 'sane’? anyone who wants to i suppose 775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers? oh there’s tons.  robin williams was always an inspiration to me and so was van gogh. 776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? not that i know of 777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? on shooting stars whenever i see them 778. Are you self-sufficient? i try to be 779. Is it better to be wanted or needed? wanted 780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at? whenever they are ready 781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? no 782. Are you a hard person to get to know? i don’t think so.  i’m an open book 783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? hurt myself 784. What’s the MOST annoying sound you can think of? nails on a chalkboard 785. What’s the silliest vegetable you can think of? idk 786. Do you believe in love at first sight? not really 787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: food lol 788. What do you see when you turn out the light? it’s dark so probably not a lot 789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? nope 790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? silver 791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? i don’t want children 792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? ^ 793. What was the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? back when i was little freddy kreuger scared the actual shit out of me 794. What was the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? grown ups or horrible bosses 795. What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen? the haunting of molly hartley 796. Are you a good massage-giver? i think so. 797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes’ to? if they know everything 798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? of course there is 799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein? sure why not? 800. Are you often sarcastic? pretty often.