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turtle-steverogers · 5 years

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Code: WTF (1/3)

hey, so here’s a little three part fun fic involving fbi agents and russian spies! (with just a little angst) enjoy!

warnings: a small depiction of death, but it’s not super bad

ship: platonic ralbert, platonic spalbert, soon to be sprace

word count: 1927

editing: ofc not

Making decisions, Albert has come to realize, is not his forte. Granted, he’s generally good at helping others make decisions- he’s got that sort of innate way of looking at the whole picture, which is good when you’re trying to help someone sort through different situations. But he can never seem to apply this strong suit to himself.

Like when he was thinking of career paths and he’d spend hours at night staring at his ceiling and wondering whether or not he wanted to commit himself to a world of chance and danger and join the FBI. Because, wow, had that been a dream of his ever since he watched his first James Bond movie at nine years old. There was something thrilling about watching that action- seeing how he could use his sharp problem solving skills for something bigger than himself. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to pledge himself to something that seemed almost like a life sentence, but he also was never one to run from a challenge. So...after a couple years of college and a bachelor’s degree in engineering, he started studying for his Phase I assessment.

It was grueling. The entrance exam was no easy task and it only got harder from there with the ‘Meet and Greet’ and Phase II written assessment. Not surprisingly, though, he had made it through and soon he was off to Quantico, where he was tested against his own willpower for upwards of 21 weeks. It was tough, but he made it through with flying colors.

Shortly after his 28th birthday, on a sunny and almost too hot July morning, he’d been trying not to let a giddy smile spread across his face embarrassingly as Director Larkin swore in his class- awarding them with their badges and credentials. The smile did break through however when Larkin had looked directly at him while speaking of “Those most fit and impressively accomplished” and winked. But he was proud of himself. Sue him.

After the ceremony, Race- his roommate during Quantico whom he’d grown particularly close to- had handed over some suspicious looking store brand lemonade in a shitty, plastic cup and bumped their shoulders together, smiling as he raised his glass. Albert mirrored his grin and clinked their glasses together.

“To the dream.” Race had said, taking a sip.

Albert drank too, and echoed, “To the dream.”

Now, three years later, he’s finding that his bad decision making skills are still very present as he stares at the shelves of brightly colored cereal boxes, trying to decide what he wants this week’s breakfast to be.

As a Senior Special Agent, it’s very serious reconnaissance work.

Just as he’s reaching for a box of Dark Chocolate Crunch Cheerios, Race materializes next to him, looking a little tight around the eyes as he places a couple cans of Progresso soup into their basket.

His movements are calculatedly casual, but Albert knows him well enough to know his stress tells. The way his shoulders are just slightly raised, ready to launch into motion at the first sign of trouble. The tense of his jaw and the slight scrunch of his nose- as if he’s smelling something off. Bad.

“Hey, Al,” Race says, straightening. Even his voice is that sort of forced casual it gets when he’s inwardly freaking out about something, “Do you remember our trip to Morocco?”

A shiver runs down Albert’s spine and he gives himself credit for only hesitating for a moment before recovering. Morocco is their personal code for ‘hey, someone is definitely following us, so we either need to dip or do something about it.’

“The first or second trip?” Albert asks, his words just as rehearsed.

And that’s their follow up code. The first trip means it’s an unknown party; the second trip means it’s someone affiliated with whatever operation they’re currently assigned to.

Really, it’s counterintuitive to even ask, because they haven’t been on any major assignments in nearly a month now. Director Larkin had given them both time off from the big stuff after their last operation had gone decidedly south when they lost a couple of the DEA guys they’d been teamed up with in a surprise shoot-out against the drug corporation they were tasked with bringing down.

It was jarring to say the least, and neither him nor Race complained too much when Larkin had suggested laying low for a while. It was the first time they’d ever lost their own men on a mission and in such a gruesome way. Some arterial blood had sprayed Albert in the face, getting on his tongue and clogging up his nose. He doesn’t remember much after that. Race says he dissociated big time. Albert doesn’t really care. He just knows that he still can’t eat tomato sauce on his pasta, because the red of it still looks too much like--

Yeah, no. Alfredo sauce is a new favorite in the Dasilva-Higgins apartment.

“First trip.” Race says, watching as Albert carefully puts the Cheerios box in the basket.

The sudden feeling of being watched pricks at Albert’s neck and he resists the urge to look behind him.

“When’d you first notice?” Albert asks, dropping his voice lower and motioning for Race to follow him as he moves down the aisle, still trying to look nonchalant as he grabs a random box of Fruity Pebbles. The gun that’s tucked into the waistband of his jeans becomes a noticeable weight against his lower back. It’s a comforting weight, if not a little disconcerting. But that’s basically in their job description.

“On the way here,” Race says, following Albert’s lead and plucking a box of shitty granola bars off a shelf behind them. As long as they look busy, they look normal, “Noticed him walking behind us around the time we passed Suffolk. Was wary, but didn’t think too much of it until I saw him lurking by the bananas while I was getting some apples.”

“Didya get a look at him? Any discernible features?”

Race shrugs, eyes darting over Albert’s shoulder, then to the side, “Not really. Short, I’d stick him around 5’4”? Dark hair and eyes. He’s wearing jeans and a leather jacket, kept his hood up.”

Albert hums, “And you last saw him by produce?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Albert says, “Come on.”

They forgo the rest of their shopping list and hurry to check out, trying to maintain a sort of ostensibly relaxed appearance. Just as they’re leaving the market, turning the opposite way from which they came, Albert’s neck prickles harder. His stomach swoops a little and he hesitates, waiting for the right moment to turn around and grab the collar of the offending party, pulling him into a nearby alley and pushing him against the bricks.

He hears Race curse, but doesn’t look at his field partner as the guy against the wall’s hood falls away. For a moment, Albert’s stunned, instinct falling short as his gaze sweeps over the guys face.

And as shocking as it is, it’s comforting in a way. Because even after eleven years, Albert would know those brown eyes and sharp features anywhere.

His grip on the guy’s collar slackens and he feels his shoulders slump a little, “Spot?”

Spot grins, “Heya, Al.”

XXX

“Wait, so you know our stalker?”

It’s probably the millionth time Race has asked that since they’d dragged Spot back to their apartment on 14th street, taking a few cautionary side roads just in case. Now, they’re gathered in the kitchen, each of them settled in with a beer even though it’s arguably too early to drink.

Whatever, Albert thinks, It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?

Besides, what else are you supposed to do when the guy you’d been best friends with until he allegedly fell off the face of the earth, shows up in your life again by stalking you while you’re grocery shopping.

Yeah, Albert deserves a drink. And he’s technically not on the job right now-- ok, he and Race are always ‘on the job’, but he’ll digress.

“Yup,” Spot answers for Albert, taking a swig of his beer, “best buds since Lindsay Hartman splashed punch on him during ninth grade homecoming, then pushed him into the refreshments table where I was getting a sandwich.”

Race shoots Albert a bewildered look and Albert shrugs, “I was kind of a dick back then and I was going through a gay panic, so I brought her to the dance and then accidentally blurted out that I thought her brother was hotter than her during the slow song and...well, ninth grade wasn’t the best year for me.”

“Clearly,” Race sounds amused, but he’s obviously still too shook up by Spot’s existence to jab Albert too hard.

Albert can’t blame him, either. It’s inherently bizarre to have your current and past best friends standing in the same room after thinking you’d never see one of them again.

“Albert never mentioned you,” Race says, looking at Spot. He’s got his ‘agent face’ on- studiously taking in all of Spot’s mannerisms, while not wavering his gaze from his eyes.

“Wouldn’t expect him to,” Spot says, unbothered, “We lost touch after high school.”

“More like you disappeared unexpectedly and never answered my phone calls or texts and I thought you died, but I couldn’t find anything on you since you were off the fucking grid.” And yeah, maybe Albert’s a little bitter, because he and Spot had been closer than close, but during their second year of college, Spot transferred to some school somewhere in Europe and never spoke to him again.

Spot looks a little guilty now, but he still manages to be the dick Albert always knew him to be and says, “Tomato, tomahto.”

Albert rolls his eyes, “What even happened to you, man?”

“That’s actually what I’m here about,” Spot says. A shadow passes over his face and he suddenly looks sharper- rougher, “I- uh, there’s, uh, some...trouble regarding...things...”

Race and Albert exchange a look and Albert can see the words, well, that’s vague, bouncing around in Race’s head.

“What kind of trouble?” Race asks.

“So,” Spot starts, then stops, shaking his head, “This is a bit of a crazy story, but anyway. I moved right? Overseas? And I ended up, um, getting into a bit of a...situation.”

Wary now, Albert places down his beer and crosses his arms, “What kind of situation?”

“I kind of got recruited by the FSB?”

The shocked silence is almost palpable.

Race recovers first, “The Russian intelligence agency?”

A pause, “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Albert can’t handle this. This is too much. Too weird.

He scrubs a hand over his face, “You do know what I, what we-” he gestures between himself and Race, “-do, right?”

He knows Spot knows. He needs to ask, anyway.

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re telling a couple of FBI guys that you’re part of the FSB?” It sounds weird to Albert’s own ears. He laughs a little, because really, he has to.

“Well...yes.”

“This is fucking weird,” Race states, pointing out the obvious, “Anyway, is there more to your so-called ‘trouble’? Or are you just now realizing the moral wrongness of being an American in the Russian spy network and want some sort of atonement?”

Spot seems to have an internal battle with himself before he mutters something that sounds like ‘fuck it’, “Albert, you’re my next mission. I’m supposed to kill you.”

“Oh,” Albert says, frowning down at his crossed arms. Then, Spot’s words process, “Wait, what!?”

hehehe we love an russian fbi drama

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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#newsies #newsies fic #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #spot conlon #ralbert #spalbert #sprace #code wtf #hahah #ok

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emdunstall-blog · 5 years

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Preparation Post:

Hey Guys! My name is Emily and I have chosen to participate in the Welfare Food Challenge as my blogging assignment in my Global Health and Development course. Within this blog I will make daily posts that document my meals and experiences during this challenge. As I am currently in my second year of the BScN program, I believe that this challenge will open my eyes to the differences in socio-economic class and how this creates obstacles to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. This challenge was created to raise awareness of the inadequate welfare rates in British Columbia. They analyzed the amount of money that was received from Welfare and broke it down to cover an individual's necessities. After breaking down, they estimated that an individual supported by Welfare only had $21 for a weeks worth of food. This challenge lasts for one week and you may only eat what is purchased with 21 dollars (Welfare Food Challenge, 2017).

Before heading to the grocery store, I had researched the cheapest foods available in my area, little did I know that it was “Dollar Days” at my hometown grocery store in Whitecourt, AB. After reading through the flyer, I had asked my super saver sidekick to help me make the most of 21 dollars. My mom. This grocery trip took over an hour and my mom taught me how to read price tags, weigh my produce and account for the GST. Now this was overwhelming, as I am the girl that runs to the grocery store, not taking the time to look at labs or read the price per 100kg. Lets just say that I had a little reality check when it comes to pricing produce. I was lucky that this grocery had Dollar Days on as I was able to buy fresh produce without breaking the bank. After placing items in my bag, I was keeping a running total on my phone calculator. Once I had reached the till, I was so nervous, waiting to see what I would need to put back or leave behind, this was a feeling I had never felt before. I watched the cashier ring through my items, I was relieved when the total came up 20.91 dollars, nothing like cutting it close hey?

I ended up coming home with..

4 ambrosia apples

6 bananas

1 head of iceberg lettuce

1 lb bag of mini carrots

1 bag of mixed frozen vegetables

1 lb of lean ground chicken

1 pkg of chicken hot dogs

1 dozen medium eggs

1 can of crushed tomatoes

1 pkg of chocolate pudding

1 box of granola bars

6 english muffins

1 box of pasta

4 pkg of instant noodles

1 bottle of ranch

1 pkg of mini chocolate chip muffins

I chose to sacrifice two kiwis and a second pkg of pudding for a bottle of ranch. I felt like a little kid when mom tells you to pick one or the other. And yes, I chose universal white sauce!

After taking my groceries home, I was happy with my choices yet I had this feeling of anxiety. Food insecurity is not a good feeling. As someone who grew up in a household where food was plentiful, I am curious to see how I feel and function by the end of the week. I’ll keep you posted, stay tuned!

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shelbeymurphy-blog · 5 years

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Preparation - February 23rd, 2020

INTRODUCTION

Hi everyone! My name is Shelbey and I am a second year nursing student who has chosen to participate in this challenge as an assignment for a Global Health course. I have chosen to participate in this challenge because growing up I never had to worry about food insecurity and therefore I am excited (as excited as I can be) to put myself in someone else's shoes for a week.

The Welfare Food Challenge is meant to raise the public awareness of the poverty and food insecurity of those who are on welfare. This organization challenges people to buy groceries for one full week (7 days) using only the money that a welfare recipient would have (Welfare Food Challenge, 2017). The most recent challenge occurred in 2017, and it stated the average budget for food of a welfare recipient is only $18 and this is what I will be documenting throughout the week (Welfare Food Challenge, 2017). On top of this already difficult task, there are some rules: you cannot use food banks, accept food from friends or family, or use any food you already have at home (Welfare Food Challenge, 2017).

I grew up on small farm in central rural Alberta, with my parents, my older sister, and our two dogs. Coming from a middle class family, growing up I never worried about where my next meal was coming from or if my family had enough money to feed our pets. My parents always gave my sister and I what we needed to be healthy and happy. In highschool I was also playing competitive field hockey for team Alberta which taught me the value of eating healthy in order to have your body and mind performing their best. Along the same line, growing up I also suffered from migraines when I was dehydrated, hungry or even when the weather changed significantly. Due to this, my whole life my mother has drilled into me the importance of drinking and eating enough to keep myself from getting sick.

PREPARATION

Deciding when to do this challenge was a big struggle for me because as a nursing student we have a clinical practicum twice a week and it is important to be physically and mentally fit to practice. I came to the conclusion that this week will be the best time for me to participate as I am on a new unit and get two “buddy shifts” for orientation. Therefore, I will not have to take my own patient this week, which is probably for the best (no one wants a hungry nurse).

When going to the grocery store I had not planned what I wanted to buy, which was probably to blame for the hour and a half I spent wandering around Superstore trying to find what I wanted. I personally have never spent so much time in a grocery store, nor have I ever spent so much time looking at prices and calculating if I had enough money to buy it. Buying groceries has never been so stressful for me because I am lucky enough to be able to ignore the prices of many of my favourite things. However, this time I almost gave myself a headache putting things back on the shelves, walking around the entire store and then walking back twenty minutes later to pick up the exact same thing. Before today, I have never noticed all of the things that I buy just from habit that are right next to "no name" brands of the exact same product that are so much cheaper.

In our Global Health class we once talked about gender equality and we discussed how in developing nations women are still generally expected to take care of the home and the children. Today this really resonated with me as I was buying groceries because I found it hard enough to buy food for myself, I cannot imagine having to find food for my entire family. To further explain, we were all children once and I am willing to bet there was at least one time you went grocery shopping with your parents and you wanted a box of cookies or a treat for yourself and they said no. I cannot imagine having to explain to a child that we simply do not have enough money to buy treats because we have to buy food that will keep us full.

The picture below shows my weeks worth of groceries that came to the total of $17.62. My thought process while buying these groceries was to go by meal. By that I mean, I settled on eggs and toast for breakfast, pasta with tomato sauce for lunches, and rice with vegetables for dinners. While this may seem like it could become boring, I was going for foods that will make me feel fuller, especially on clinical days, where I will be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. I also bought apples, bananas, and granola bars to keep me going between meals, because I love to have snacks.

The picture below displays my receipts proving that I did stay under the $18 limit. There are two receipts because after ringing through all the necessities for the week I realized I had another dollar to spend and you bet I was going to spend every dollar possible. Therefore, I spent my money very wisely on the Kit Kat you see above. I also decided to treat myself with 7 "dinosours", one for everyday of the challenge. Yes, I know it seems quite silly to buy a Kit Kat and some candy, but knowing myself and my massive sweet tooth I know that if I did not treat myself at least a little bit I might go slightly crazy. Also, while this may sounds weird, should I get a migraine (knock on wood) sometimes something sweet like chocolate helps it go away a little quicker. While this probably just is a placebo for me, I wanted to be prepared for the worst.

As the receipt may be hard to read, here is what I purchased:

Quaker Dips Granola Bars (5) - $1.88

Penne - $1.28

Pasta Sauce - $1.28

Jasmine Rice - $2.78

Large Eggs (12) - $2.98

Frozen Vegetables - $2.28

Bananas (4) - $0.89

Apples (5) - $1.74

French Bread - $0.95

DinoSours (12) - $0.52

KitKat - $0.88

THOUGHTS

I am not going to lie, I am quite scared about this week, especially with 8 hour clinical days ahead of me. Once I got back from the grocery store I did some meal prepping for the first four days of this challenge and I have to say it does not look like enough food for me. I know how not eating properly can impact not only the physical abilities of people but also their mental capacity. While I think I have a difficult week ahead of me, I am very excited to experience the food insecurity issues that are happening in our country everyday and I am very determined to get through the week without 'cheating'.

Stay tuned on my progress!

For more information about the Welfare Food Challenge (2017): https://welfarefoodchallenge.org/2017challenge/

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thewritingstar · 5 years

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98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE.

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go.

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others.

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

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canoncannon · 6 years

Note

Would you please do a follow up to your most recent prompt? The one with Jesus at the heap? That was amazing!

Sorry I’m soooo slooooow

part one here

Paul can’t keep his eyes off of Daryl Dixon. Even more so than usual, which is… unnerving. He’s beginning to worry that being locked in that storage container irreparably fucked up his brain.

He’s lost enough dignity today, crying like a kid when Daryl found him, and yet hours later he’s still struggling to get himself together.

It’s just that, after days of only seeing darkness, only hearing roamers banging clumsily at the door, only feeling rusty iron and his own sweat on his skin–Paul shudders and forces himself past the memories. After days of that, the company of another person is intoxicating.

The two pain pills Daryl practically forced down his throat probably aren’t helping, either.

Daryl seems to take the staring in stride, at least. “Man, just eat the damn apple sauce. You need the calories.”

“You haven’t eaten anything since you found me,” Paul counters, because that was hours ago now. He’s already had a granola bar and the last of the jerky in Daryl’s pack.

Besides, he feels good. Loose and floaty. They’re holed up in a nice-ish house about halfway between the dump and Hilltop, ready to head home at first light. There’s a leather couch that seems inordinately soft after days in an iron prison. Paul stretches out, leaning his head back and curling his toes into the dusty carpet.

They hadn’t taken much time to search the dump for supplies, but they had found a large unopened jar of apple sauce near Paul’s discarded clothing. His pants are noticeably looser than before, and they’d been unable to find his socks and shoes.

“Ate before I got ya,” Daryl says, interrupting Paul’s enjoyment of the carpet.

“How long before?”

Daryl shrugs, still ignoring the apple sauce. He’s fidgeting with his lighter. The house had a bunch of lavender scented candles around, sitting on doilies on the old-fashioned furniture. The scent is almost sickly-sweet in the air.

Someone’s grandma must have lived here. For a moment the thought makes Paul sad. Christ, how strong were those pills?

“Ever heard of ‘Never Have I Ever’?” Daryl says quietly.

Paul blinks, gaze darting between Daryl and one of the doilies. His attention span is flickering like the candles. “What?”

“It’s a game.” Daryl’s face is doing something weird. He’s blushing, for one thing, and not meeting Paul’s eyes. “You try to guess shit about the other person, and-”

“No, I know. It’s, um, it’s a drinking game, right?”

Daryl shrugs again. He’s definitely being weird. “Let’s play. Pass the time.”

“No liquor,” Paul says, still feeling like he’s missing something. “And I don’t think taking more of those pills would be a good idea.”

“We’ll play for the apple sauce. You take a bite of apple sauce, or I do. Or we both do. Like that.”

Paul squints at him.

“Someone’s gonna eat this fucking apple sauce,” is all Daryl says in response.

“Alright,” Paul says slowly, and Daryl hands him a plastic spoon.

–

A few hours later, settling in to sleep with a good amount of apple sauce in his stomach, Paul thinks that he hasn’t talked about himself that much since Maggie died.

The next morning, he realizes that that was probably the point.

#desus #daryl x jesus #desus fic

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sgtduckybucky · 6 years

Text

The Perfect Family

Rating: PG

Genre: Slight jealousy and angst...fluff mostly.

It was dark and quiet. A blissful moment that you haven’t experienced in a while.

Unfortunately, it was ruined by the consistent ringing of your phone.

You grumbled as you fumbled around looking for your phone. The ringing stopped for a brief moment, making you halt your movement, only for it to start ringing. You groaned as you finally held onto your phone under your pillow. You squinted your eyes, trying to read the blurry name. You answered the phone wanting to stop the annoying ringing.

“Hello?” Your voice was groggy.

“Y/N, did I wake you?” the voice on the other end asked.

“Mmm,” You rolled on your bed so that you were lying on your back, “No, I woke up a moment ago.” Your brows furrowed at the sound of your friend…running around?

“Are you ok?” You asked her.

“Yeah…No…Kind of?” Your friend replied.

“What’s up?”

“I was supposed to drop of Anthony at his baby sitter’s house because I have that conference to attend to and present my research but she has the stomach flu and Chris can’t watch him because he’s busy working with Robert.” Her voice was full of distress as she continued running around the, what you assumed, house.

“Do you want me to look after him.” It was more a statement than a question really.

“Can you do that, Y/N?”

You rubbed your eyes as you stole a glance at the calendar on your door, “Yeah, I don’t have anything today. When do you want me to have him?”

“As soon as possible please.”

You hummed, “Give me 30 minutes to shower and I’ll be there in a bit.”

You chuckled as you heard your friend sigh in relief, “Thank you!”

About 35 minutes later, you arrived at the café and scanned the room, looking for your redhead friend.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice to the left side of the room. “Over here!”

Your friend waved you over and beside her was baby Anthony sitting on one of those comfy arm chairs.

“Hey.” You greeted her with a hug.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Y/N”

You waved your hand in dismissal, “It’s fine. I ain’t got anything today and you know I love babies.”

After instructing you with what to do with Anthony if he fusses and what kind of food and drinks he should have, she left with a promise of returning in two hours.

“Kid, you better be grateful to your mom.” You said to Anthony, who giggled at your words, as you watched her figure dash out of the café.

The first hour with Anthony was peaceful. You took a bunch of videos and selfies with the baby and discovered that he loved the snapchat filters. You fed him apple sauce, dried banana chips and had him drink orange juice. He cried a little bit because he tripped and bumped his head on the leg of the armchair but it wasn’t serious. You had him drink water to calm down the crying.

You playfully rolled your eyes as Anthony smiled at a couple of freshman girls and they giggled at him and waved their hands at the boy.

“Wooing the ladies since 2017, huh Anthony?” You scrunched up your nose at him and gently rubbed his tummy, he giggled, not understanding what you’re saying.

He started getting fussy again because he was tired of sitting on the arm chair and walking around the chairs and tables so you decided to carry him around as you went and ordered some coffee to help you keep up with his energy.

“That’s a cute baby…nothing much to say about his mom though.”

You turned around at the teasing voice when you were waiting for your coffee.

“Harhar…You’re so funny, Jensen.”

The brown haired man in front of you shrugged, “I try.”

You rolled your eyes at him.

“What’s his name?” He asked as he pinched Anthony’s cheek.

“Anthony.”

“Hi Anthony.” Jensen used a cute voice…He then crossed his eyes and it made Anthony laugh.

“Don’t we look cute?” You asked as you brought Anthony closer to your face and pouted up at the brown haired man.

“Him? Definitely. You? Yikes…”

You playfully punched his arm.

“So, how were classes?” You asked Jensen as he held Anthony’s hand and lightly scratched his nose with the other.

Unbeknownst to the three of you, a figure was watching you near the café entrance.

Sebastian had finish his busy day earlier than usual. His history professor canceling his class due to car trouble. The Romanian was thankful because he had back to back classes from 9 am till 3 pm. His friends from class invited him for lunch, which was tempting since all he had was an almond granola bar on his way to class, but he declined them wanting to have lunch with you instead.

He texted you while he made his way to the elevator. He tried calling you after exiting the building but you weren’t picking up.

Strange…she doesn’t have classes today. Maybe she’s still sleeping?

He looked at the clock on his phone and it read 1:30 pm. It wasn’t unusual for you to sleep in late but when it was a clear and sunny day like today, you wouldn’t be indoors for long.

Sebastian was about to walk to your apartment but stopped in his track when he spotted your figure outside the coffee shop. He smiled as he saw you order your drink, tall vanilla latte with caramel please.

He walked into the café with a smile only for it to drop when he saw you with Jensen.

Sebastian didn’t know the brown haired man well and he wasn’t the kind of guy to get jealous or grossly possessive but, seeing the two of you together, with you carrying a baby, made his stomach hurt.

The baby didn’t resemble Jensen, and as far as he knew, you didn’t have kids. You were only 23.

Sebastian felt his heart tighten as you playfully turned the baby away from Jensen and sticking your tongue at him, what hurt the most was the look in Jensen’s eyes. They were full of love and affection. A rare sight from such a stoic and expressionless man.

He almost felt his heart stop beating when Jensen wrapped his arm around your shoulder and said something that made you playfully roll your eyes at him but not shrug his arm off. What’s worse was that Jensen even went and picked up your coffee and still stood beside you. Talking. Laughing. Eyes filled with love.

Sebastian’s throat became dry, he coughed a bit to relieve some of the itchiness. The two of you looked like the perfect loving family, ones that you would see on television. The dad who worked hard and looked manly but was a giant goofball with horrible puns while the mom was a determinate yet passionate woman who didn’t give a crap what anyone said. And the child, the child was very obedient and would probably be so heartbroken if their parents were harmed or separated.

Sebastian quietly turned around and headed towards the exit.

“Sebastian?”

He stopped in his track. He turned around, plastering a fake smile on.

“What are you doing here?” You asked with a smile.

“Uhhh…class was canceled.” He said trying to hide his depressing emotions.

“That’s great! Do you want to get lunch with me and Anthony from the cafeteria across the road?” You asked him, failing to hide how excited you sounded.

Sebastian looked between you and Jensen…not knowing if the brown haired man would be joining.

“Sure.” He finally answered.

You smiled brightly at him then turned to the brown haired man.

“It was nice seeing you, Jensen. Good luck with classes.”

Jensen nodded, “You too.” He said in a monotone, his emotions masked unlike earlier.

“We should hang out before you graduate and leave.”

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Sebastian blurted out.

“Yeah…I got accepted into MIT for my doctorate.” Jensen answered, “Anyway, I gotta go. See you later, Y/N.”

“Bye!”

“Bye, Anthony.” He waved at the one year old and Anthony just smiled a gummy smile with saliva dripping from his lips.

“Charming.” You muttered.

“Ready?” You asked Sebastian and then head to your table and gather all of your stuff.

“He’s leaving.” Sebastian was commenting but you heard it as a question so you furrowed your brows while putting Anthony on his stroller.

“Yeah, didn’t you hear what he just said?” You asked after getting up from the ground.

“How are you gonna date if he’s gonna move?” He asked.

“Woah woah woah! Who said anything about me and Jensen dating? We’re practically siblings.”

Sebastian had a look of guilt on his face because A) he felt bad for assuming about your dating status, and B) Jensen liked, no, probably loved you and you didn’t feel that way.

“I don’t know.” He rubbed at his shoulder.

“Nah, I don’t like Jensen that way.” You said while pushing the door to the café open.

“The guy that I like is about to have lunch with me and Anthony.”

#gifs arent mine #gif does not belong to me #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan x reader #jensen ackles imagine

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''on the shore'' by otep

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shelbeymurphy-blog · 5 years

Text

Day 1 - February 24th, 2020

Hello again! Today I started my Welfare Food Challenge and to be totally candid, I am struggling. I woke up today with a pounding headache, but I stayed true to the challenge all day (no cheating, I pinky promise, which is a very serious form of committment to me).

Disclaimer: All the pictures below are completely unedited as I wanted to let any readers see exactly what I was consuming in order to remain somewhat credible and realistic.

BREAKFAST - 08:30

This morning I woke up fairly hungry and was ready for my usual coffee, some fruit, a bagel, maybe even some avocado on top with an egg for some protein. I am a firm believer that breakfast is in fact the most important meal of the day. However, from the picture below you can already see I had a significantly smaller breakfast than I was used to. While I would not consider this a terrible breakfast, my first meal of the day was super dry. I had two pieces of toast and one scrambled egg on top. Prior to this morning my strategy was to make an over-easy egg and use the runny yolk as a ‘sauce’ to make my breakfast a little less dry. However, I quickly learned that without butter or oil on a pan it is very difficult to flip an egg without completely destroying it (now that may be the real challenge of the week).

As mentioned before, I love to have a larger breakfast to make sure that I hit all of my food groups and that I am ready to start my day. This was definitely something I was missing this morning. I found myself getting pretty hungry by about 10:30 and sadly had a midterm at 11:00. Do not get me wrong, I still did well on my exam, but I found myself quite distracted by the fact that I was hungry. I was very shocked to see how this challenge already started to impact my life.

In realizing that something as simple as eating a smaller breakfast has already impacted my ability to focus and learn, I did some more research. The American Physiological Association (2016) state in the online document What are the Psychological Affects of Hunger on Children that hunger can cause toxic stress because you body is not being relieved of this stressful state it is in. Furthermore, when people are hungry they tend to spend what limited mental reserves they have focusing on food or ways to satisfy their needs (American Psychological Association, 2016). Reading this made me truly realize that this challenge may actually impact my schoolwork because just in one day I was already focused on my hunger. I know, I am eating three fairly decent meals and that I should be grateful and I am. However, it has been a big shift on my body to lack those fruits and vegetables or healthier foods that give my power the nutrients it needs for the day.

LUNCH - 12:30

As lunch rolled around, I was unusually hungry. I blame this on the fact that I am a snacker; I pack tons of snacks with me to class like granola bars, apples, vegetables, and sometimes the odd Rice Krispie square. Without these I was definitely ready for my next meal by lunch time, which was about a cup and half of pasta with some tomato sauce. I will admit, this was a fairly decent lunch and satisfied my hunger for quite a while but I found myself missing some vegetables. Over the years I have grown to really enjoy my salads and even look forward to them (I know its weird, I like vegetables okay). I am not sure how but just in one day I could really feel the difference in my body without getting my daily vegetables and eating more carbohydrates that I am used to. This was evidenced by just after lunch I was extremely tired and ready to curl up in bed and have a nap. Furthermore, the headache I woke up with in the morning was still pounding, even though I had taken my usual Tylenol migraine. I cannot help but wonder if I had been giving my body the nutrients it is used to through more vegetables and fruit if my headache would have gone away quicker.

SNACKS - 14:30

As mentioned above, I am a snacker. I am not sure if I could have made it between meals today without my banana and granola bar. I ate both of these a couple hours after my lunch, which I immediately regretted because I had the fear that I would need one of them as a snack later in the evening (which spoiler alert, I was 100% correct about).

DINNER - 19:00

Today’s final meal was the smallest dinners I have had in a very long time. When buying my rice and frozen vegetables yesterday I was quite confident that I would have enough to last me the entire week and that it would make seven decent sized meals. However, after meal prepping these dinners I was to quick to see that I was wrong. It was very hard to see that I may not have large enough dinners to keep me full throughout the night and it breaks my heart realizing people live like this on a daily basis.

Not only was my dinner small it was also one of the blandest meals I have had to date. I have never been a big user of salt and pepper, but today I was really missing some flavour. It is a hard realization to find all of the things I use daily that I take for granted. When I make my food it never crosses my mind that people across the world do not get to have meals that are healthy and give them their daily nutrients because I have become so accustomed to my lifestyle. Reflecting on my daily choices, I feel selfish for not being grateful that I get to have food that I enjoy everyday.

“DESSERT”

Pictured below was my ‘dessert’ if you will. It may not seem like much but after a long day of studying and stress these two small candies seemed like heaven. While I did indulge in my candies and it brought me great happiness, I cannot help but wonder if I should have saved this money and bought more healthy snacks or even more vegetables to have with my main meals. I felt almost guilty for enjoying this snack because I know in my head that it is unrealistic. To further explain, if I was actually in this situation and only had $18 for seven days worth of groceries I would have never bought these candies because I would need to buy quality food. Again, I feel quite selfish for buying them right now as I feel like it was something I wanted and not something I needed. Already I am starting to question my daily choices when I buy treats for myself that i just want because it is more clear to me than ever that some people do not have that luxury.

THOUGHTS

While today was a success because I got through the day without ‘cheating’, which was my main goal, as I write this post just before I go to bed, I am hungry. I am struggling between eating one of my apples right now so that I do not go to bed hungry and knowing that if I do I will have to go without a snack in one of the days to come. This personal battle I am having with myself has been a recurring theme throughout the day. I found myself beating myself up for eating my snacks when I was hungry because I wanted to make sure I can last the whole week. To be completely honest, it is exhausting to constantly have to worry about having enough food to last me the week. In reality it has only been a day, but it was one of the longest days I have had in a while and I cannot imagine living like this for months on end. My eyes have truly been opened already and I am very interested to see where this week takes me.

One big change that I noticed today was that I drank way more water that I am used to. I think it was my way of tricking my body into thinking I was consuming more than I actually was. Throughout my normal days I usually mix in a juice of some kind or maybe even an iced tea, but today that did not even cross my mind. In doing some research I found that the Health Eating Requirements (2019) state that water is “the beverage of choice to support health and promote hydration without adding calories to the diet.” This was interesting because even though I was not consuming any more calories, I still felt a little fuller while I drank my water.

My main takeaway from my first day of the challenge is that protein is a very important key nutrient that I was missing. When buying groceries I thought it was important to have at least one source of protein which is my eggs for breakfast. However, I made a mistake thinking that this would be enough. One of the first headings on the Canada’s Food Guide directly states “eat protein foods” and directly on the website there is a visual showing that some form of protein should take up a quarter of your plate or bowl each meal (Government of Canada, 2019). To think, that two out of my three meals did not have a form of protein at all scares me a little bit. I am going to infer that this will be the reason I struggle with this challenge throughout the week.

When looking at the old Recommended Number of Food Guide Servings Per Day (2007) I definitely did not meet the daily serving requirements of any of the main food groups. Keeping in mind this data may be out of date, but the newer version does not have a serving guide that I could find. However, I had 0/2 servings of milk or alternatives, 0.5/2 servings of meat and alternatives, 3/6-7 servings of grain products, and 2/7-8 servings of vegetables and fruit. This was quite terrifying for me to see because if you had to live like this for an extended period of time there may be some very serious health issues that arise such as nutrient deficiencies.

To look at the document What are the Psychological Effects of Hunger on Children: https://www.apa.org/advocacy/socioeconomic-status/hunger.pdf

To view the Government of Canada website and the 2019 Healthy Eating Guidelines: https://food-guide.canada.ca/en/

To visit the Recommended Number of Food Guide Servings Per Day (2007): https://www.canada.ca/content/dam/hc-sc/migration/hc-sc/fn-an/alt_formats/fnihb-dgspni/pdf/pubs/fnim-pnim/2007_fnim-pnim_food-guide-aliment-eng.pdf

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the-grumpy-panda · 7 years

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Definitely Tricked!

Let's keep the mini train a rolling. Here's some more unnecessary crud stumbled upon in a local grocer. Mostly seasonal based, but with a wild card thrown in! That's all the lead in I'm in the mood for today. Bleh! -Stauffer's Pumpkin Spice Snaps! Like a ginger snap, but with pumpkin spice. Or was that blatantly obvious? I honestly can't recall the last time I've had a ginger snap. They're an okay thing, but I've never in my life had a craving for or built an appreciation for them. In a blind taste test, though, I can't imagine anyone saying these were anything but a ginger snap. Maybe a ginger snap connoisseur could spot some ingredient difference, but to laypeople, there's nothing of excitement here. They're a fine cookie, don't get me wrong, and I know I'll finish the bag, but whatever it is we've been duped into believing "pumpkin spice" actually is, it isn't here. Or is it? Could the spicier elements found in ginger snaps since time immemorial have secretly been the precursor to this whole shebang? Did someone simply take ginger snaps ingredients and re-brand them? Did I just realize I have now mindlessly eaten half this bags contents and become a ginger snap fan? Probably no on that last one. Methinks the empty belly was just happy to have something funneling down. But I call conspiracy on the other fronts! You read it here first! Yes, YOU! The one person reading this! Alert the authorities! Call in Mary Berry! There's a cookie caper! A spice scandal! -Pumpkin Pasta Sauce! I don't see a company or brand name on this jar, so I can only surmise it was made for the store I bought it at. I imagine there are similar products out there, however. Looking at the ingredients for this particular version, simply because the bottle was turned that way as I set it down, it looks semi "healthy" as well. Aside from heavy cream and some honey, there's no added sugars or fatty things, and all the other ingredients on the short ingredient list are recognizable and pronounceable. No weird chemicals, additives or preservatives! I simply heated up the sauce and poured it over some ziti rigate pasta. No muss, no fuss. And the results are... eh. It takes a minute to adjust, as obviously most of us will be used to a tomato based sauce for our pasta. It definitely has a real pumpkin flavor. It's smooth and creamy. Smelling it piping hot on the stove top, it smelled vaguely of pumpkin pie. It's just bland tasting. It definitely needs something added in to help the whole thing get a flavor boost. Maybe more creative folks will figure out how to better incorporate pumpkin pasta sauce. I could definitely see this as a base for something, (not necessarily pasta!) but as a thing on its own, the sauce just doesn't cut it. -Nature Valley Pumpkin Spice Crunchy Granola Bars! Side by side, I don't think anyone could really assuage any difference between these and the regular Cinnamon granola bars. Because I'm staring at the Pumpkin Spice box and the ingredients list 'pumpkin flakes' as an ingredient, I do think my mind is forcing me to pick up subtle differences. These are still good, and if you like Nature Valley products there's no reason not to get these. But if you're in it only for the pumpkin quotient, you really won't be missing out on anything if you can't find them. I suggest taking a NV cinnamon bar, taking a maple and brown sugar NV bar, mix 'em together... and you'd have the pumpkin spice bar. I cracked the code! -Entenmann's Apple Cider doughnuts! These have been rolling out seasonally for a few years now. I don't think I came upon them last year, but I recall liking them when I did have them (I guess...) the year before. It was a nice surprise, as apple is just not a flavor I really enjoy in things that aren't a regular apple. Let's see if time has been kind to this product. Is my memory false? Is it just my taste buds are off or is there really some trickery afoot? Did they change the ingredients? These merely taste like a cinnamon cake doughnut. It doesn't get close to even resembling an apple fritter, which I think is what I was expecting these to taste like. It's a good doughnut, Entenmann's make a tasty and moist product, but I just can't discern any difference or anything apple cider like within this. -Entenmann's Pumpkin Doughnuts! These are orange inside! Even though the box assures me these are made with real pumpkin, I'd still wager some sort of false coloring. These aren't bad. They again nail the sweet and moist aspects, and while I think I can taste some pumpkin, it's not a prevalent flavor. These would probably go real well with a cup of coffee on a cold day, however. I will freeze what's left and save them for just such a day. -Apple Cider Flavored Seltzer Water! Also a brand free concoction, with a similar looking label as the pasta sauce, so definitely done by the same people for the same store. Smells of a piece of whatever apple flavored candy you may be familiar with. Hardly any flavor to it though, oddly enough. Only after smacking your lips half a dozen times after a big gulp does any taste besides fizzy water come in, but it leaves quickly. I think this could have been good had it actually had any flavor. -Snyder's Brick Oven Style Pizza Flavored Pretzel Sandwiches! Oh... no. These are just awful. Imagine the worst, and I mean the WORST, pizza you've ever had. Now imagine there's a box of leftover crust pieces from that pizza left in the corner for a few days in a house with no air conditioning in the summer. Now imagine for some reason you wanted to eat the crusts, but to help tone down the staleness, you decided to dip them in spaghetti sauce that was also the worst possible form of spaghetti sauce that could be, and that you got this sauce from a hand dug cellar and it came from a rusty tin can with no label. I can't paint a clearer picture of how these things taste. Just... putrid. What a sad way to end the fun. C'est la vie.

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sky-on-blog · 7 years

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1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ice cream, I think, last night.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? Pepper jack.

3. What’s your favourite fish? Salmon.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Pineapple, even though it hurts my mouth to eat it raw.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked olives -- at least, the black ones. I used to take them from salad bars and eat them by themselves when I was little. Green olives are okay. I dislike Kalamata olives, though.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? Probably like, after I turned 21. I disliked it for a long time until I tried things other than my mother’s Coors Light.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked shellfish, too. I don’t understand how people can not like crabs?

8. What was the best thing your mom/dad/guardian used to make? Uh. Nothing, really. My parents are pretty terrible cooks. Do cookies count? Because I can make those, too.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? I don’t know. Scrapple? Delaware doesn’t have a lot of “native specialties.” Apparently muskrat is a thing that people eat there, even though I lived there until I was 24 and never once encountered it (thankfully).

10. What’s your comfort food? Goldfish, or peanut butter Captain Crunch. Also peanut butter M&Ms. And Reese’s.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk. 12. How do you like your steak? Medium rare. I thought I didn’t like steak for basically my entire life because I only ever had it more well done.

13. How do you like your burger? Medium, I guess? I’ve never really compared.

14. How do you like your eggs? Over easy, and preferably atop hash browns.

15. How do you like your potatoes? Fried and crispy. Mashed potatoes are good, too, though.

16. How do you take your coffee? With flavored creamer, or cream and sugar if it’s just regular cream.

17. How do you take your tea? Depends on the kind of tea. I like iced green tea, but only if it isn’t bitter -- so like, not from a teabag. And hot tea is okay, but I mostly just drink that to help with my throat or to relax; I don’t really love the taste, or anything. When I do drink it, though, I just drink it plain -- with the exception of some honey if I feel really bad, but again, that’s less for the taste and more for the effects.

18. What’s your favourite mug? A fox-shaped one that I got as a gift.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Peanut butter chocolate chip.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Uhh. Depends on my mood, I guess. But there’s a place in Haines City that has these apple cinnamon waffles that are pretty amazing.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Those Italian, oven-baked sandwiches from Domino’s. They are amazing. Turkey clubs are great, too.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Light sauce with pineapple and jalapeno. Red Baron’s frozen Mexican pizza is awesome, as well.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? Pumpkin -- sweet. I wholly prefer sweet pie to savory.

24. What’s your ideal salad? The one you get at Olive Garden. That’s the only salad I can actually get excited about. Oh, or black bean and corn salad, oh my god.

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? Something easily accessible. It’s not a “food,” but I always like to have soda. And onions, preferably red.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Again, something easy to make. Oh, and burgers.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Goldfish, cereal, candy, coffee.

28. What spices can you not live without? Salt is the only one I could probably actually not go without, but cilantro and cayenne are pretty excellent, too.

29. What sauces can you not live without? Eh. I can live without most sauce -- I prefer things to be more dry. Does salsa count as sauce? I tend to miss that when I don’t have it.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Walmart. It’s right across the street, and it’s cheap. But we also go to Publix pretty often, too.

31. How often do you go food shopping? Usually about once a week, but it depends on when Jeremy’s and my schedules line up and when we start to run out of food.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? ...I’m drawing a blank. Jeremy’s dad got us a frappuccino maker that we’ve never used in the pantry. Oh, there’s a Keurig in the closet, but it doesn’t work. Does that count? I mean, we have a microwave and an oven, but we don’t own those. Maybe the toaster oven?

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? A coffee maker, when the Keurig stopped working.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? The microwave, without a doubt.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? Me personally, never. Jeremy, for both of us to eat...probably a few times a month.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Chicken enchilada casserole. It wasn’t very good, which is why I don’t cook.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? Lamb and deer are the only two I can think of. They have a lot of alligator down here in Florida, though, and I’ve been meaning to try that. Oh, I tried frog once, and it was awful -- but granted, it was at a pretty awful restaurant.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Yesterday, a walnut fell onto the kitchen counter and I still put it in my ice cream. I probably ate something off the floor yesterday, too. It happens.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? Years and years ago, when my friends and I went cherry-picking.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Sushi, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Indian. Although, I’ve only ever had Indian food once, and nothing there was very good except the naan. So maybe that place just wasn’t very good.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – I haven’t had brandy in a while and I don’t really remember what it tastes like, so I’m going to leave that out of the equation. But probably rum, whiskey, vodka, although I like all three pretty well.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – I’ve never had aniseed. But otherwise -- lime, garlic, ginger, mint (as long as it’s in dessert), basil, caramel. If the mint is in something savory, then it goes at the very bottom; I really hate mint in savory things.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Pineapple, orange, strawberry, apple, banana, cherry, watermelon.

45. Bread and spread: What? Like, my favorites? I like pumpernickel bread, and...I don’t know. Mayonnaise? That chili spread -- the famous one with the rooster -- is pretty good, too.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? Probably Popeye’s -- spicy chicken, usually tenders, with red beans and rice.

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Uh. Newark, in Delaware, has this pretty great Japanese buffet.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? What’s a tipple?

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? I’m not sure. I might eat some cereal or Goldfish or something before work.

50. Are you hungry now? Sort of, but I don’t know what I want.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? No. I’m never hungry when I wake up; I have to force myself to eat, like, a granola bar when I go to work.

52. At what time do you have breakfast? Whenever I get up and feel like it.

53. At what time do you have lunch? Whenever they give it to me at work, or just...whenever Jeremy and I get hungry.

54. What do you have for lunch? Different stuff. Usually burgers, hot dogs, fries -- something easy.

55. At what time do you have dinner? When I get home from work, so usually around 9:30-10.

56. What do you have for dinner? Again, different stuff.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? There isn’t a dining room in our apartment, but there’s a table in the corner with four chairs. There isn’t a “main” chair; they’re all the same.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? Right, usually.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Pickles, onions, jalapenos, tomatoes.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Cantaloupe is my absolute least favorite fruit -- I can’t stand the taste. And my least favorite vegetable...probably Brussels sprouts.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Uhh. I haven’t had fruit salad in a long time. I guess strawberries?

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Tomatoes.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Oh, I answered this earlier -- mayo or that chili spread. Admittedly, though, I haven’t had very many sandwich spreads.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Crunch.

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Peanut butter brownie sundaes.

68. What’s your favourite drink? I don’t know. I’ve been in a weird drink place lately where I don’t know what I want. Margaritas are pretty great, though.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Goldfish.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Just like, wintergreen, probably, or spearmint. I like lemony ones, too. They used to have a strawberry lemonade one that was really good -- I don’t know if it still exists. But I’m not a big fan of gum, and my teeth have like, no enamel, so I never chew it. Oh, I used to like Juicy Fruit a lot when I was little.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Green tea. I can only ever find it from Haagen-Dazs at some Publix. Oh, and brown sugar. Baskin Robbins has one that has brown sugar in it and it’s fucking incredible, but I’m pretty sure it’s seasonal.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and onion, or just regular.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Chicken tortilla.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Jalapeno and pineapple.

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Sushi, or Mexican.

76. What food do you hate? Cantaloupe. Peas. Brussels sprouts. Oatmeal. Applesauce. Anything mushy like that. Oh, and oysters/clams. And frog.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Hibachi.

78. Do you eat homemade food, food delivered from outside? I eat both, but I prefer food that’s not homemade, usually.

80. Who cooks at home? Jeremy.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? Uh. A really unhealthy, salty, fattening one.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I don’t.

#survey

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justanotherinterludeff · 8 years

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I’ma drink up, I’ma smoke some’ Keep it moving, it was nice to know ya Boy watch me leave You ghost to me Wish you good luck being lonely I’ma push red every time you phone me You bout to be A memory

She Don’t x Ella Mai ft. Ty Dolla $ign

“Patek Philippe, the plain one, that’s too much sauce. Hermes in the A, that’s too much sauce. They let me know before I was famous, I had too much sauce.” I mouthed along with Future. My earphones were plugged into my Macbook and I was having a jolly good time with this Apple Playlist. I needed this hype music to wake me up, because this coffee wasn’t helping.

For whatever reason, I had been procrastinating this whole week, knowing I had a research paper due today. I had already completed two of my three classes today, and I had a hour break in between so I was chilling outside on one of the benches. I had my word document open, I typed a word or two since I sat down, but honestly, I was more interested in the Public Desire website I was looking at. These shoes were gorgeous and I knew exactly where my next paycheck was going.

I took a sip of my coffee and put it back down before scrolling down on the page. My phone lit up next to me pulling me away from one screen to the next.

Adrienne: Where you at?

On the quad, sitting at one of the benches.

Adrienne: On my way!

I giggled and shook my head before putting my phone back down. I knew Adrienne wasn’t coming over here to get any work done. At all. The quad was somewhere she liked to chill, so she wouldn’t pass up having someone to chill with. Plus it was really close to the Que plot. Where Amari liked to spend most of his time on campus.

She and I seemed to be hitting it off lately. She was a sweet girl. She looked out for me at work, and school. And I genuinely appreciated it. I could officially say I had more than one friend now. I considered not only her as a friend, but Naomi too.

“Hey friend!” She greeted me from a little distance away. I laughed and sent a wave her way. She sauntered over my way and gave me a kiss on the cheek before taking the seat across from me. “Hey pretty. What you doing out here by yourself?” She questioned.

Adrienne was so fucking gorgeous. Like, she was always put together. He outfits were cute as fuck, her hair was always laid, and she was always beat. I admired that about her. She put effort into her appearance. Every single day. And today was no different. I needed to take a page out of her book, cause baby, honestly I could care less. I threw on sweats, combed my hair, put some perfume on, and I was on my way to school.

“Trying to finish up my last page of this paper.” I sighed. “How’s it going?” She asked. “Girl, I’m looking at shoes. That’s how it’s going.” I said and we shared a laugh. The conversation continued, talks about our classes, grades, our schedule at work, and anything else that had come up. Well, that was before the obnoxious barking started.

My eye roll was so vicious. Adrienne only laughed, she loved herself some Ques. Pretty much every girl did. The tongue wagging just didn’t do it for me. “There go my man girl.” Adrienne nodded at Amari aggy ass. Right behind his favorite line brother, he was laughing it up. Ugly ass.

I had yet to tell her what he said about not wanting to talk to anyone that wasn’t down to.. fuck. The topic of Amari hadn’t really come up between us honestly. I did plan to tell her though, when the time is right.

“He’s so fucking fine.” She grumbled from in front of me. She was turned around, admiring you know who. I shook my head and kept scrolling through the website. These thigh high boots were to die for. “Oh shit.” I heard her murmur before she snapped her neck back to face me. She looked like she had seen a ghost. I looked up and seen Amari coming our way.

I wanted to laugh but the poor girl looked like she was about to pass out! I couldn’t. “Breathe Adrienne. Relax.” She took two deep breaths and before she could take the last one, he was almost next to her. “Wassup Ugly?” He greeted me, throwing his arm around my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm off.

“Don’t let me tell you what’s ugly Amari.” I warned. He only chuckled before looking up at Adrienne. “What’s up?” He nodded toward her. “Hi.” She replied and sent him a smile. He slipped in the seat next to me, while I continued to scroll through the website. “What you doing tonight?” He asked.

“Going to work.” I answered. I looked away from my computer screen and dung around in my bag for my granola bar. “What time you get off?” He asked. “9.” “Cool, I’ll see you at 10:30 then.” He nodded. I looked up at him confused. “See me where? I’m going to sleep.” I laughed. I was dead ass serious. It was the weekend. And I was tired as fuccckkk!

“The only thing I’m seeing tonight is my eyelids.” “You lame bruh.” He chuckled. “Jelani’s bro haing a little get together. Come through.” “I’m not going to no party, Mari.” “Who said it was a party? Did that word come out my mouth, shawty?” He directed his question at Adrienne. She giggled and shook her head no, “I don’t think it did.” This traitor.

“It’s a get together. Nothing too big. Latest you getting home is around 2. You can even bring your friend too. What’s your name sweetheart?” He hurled another question in Dri’s direction. “Adrienne.” She smirked. I noticed he kept his eyes on her a little minute longer before matching her smirk. I squinted my eyes and looked between the two of them. Where they flirting?

“Yeah, you and Adrienne come through.” He licked his lips and finally removed his eyes from hers. “Imma text you the address later. Alright?” “Alright Amari.” I yawned. “Alright, see you later.” He kissed my cheek. “Adrienne.” He smiled and she waved him goodbye. He jogged off to catch up with his line brothers.

“Bihhhhhhhhhh!” Adrienne started making me laugh. “Like, am I crazy or was his flirting with me?” “Nah, he was flirting alright.” I nodded and she grinned. “Listen, Dri. Just a heads up, Amari isn’t really looking for a relationship right now. He’s just into… having sex right now. At least that what he said.” I shrugged. “Aww, friend! I appreciate the heads up.” She pouted cutely.

“But honestly, truly,” She started in her best Joanne voice. “I just wanna fuck him.” She shrugged making my eyes bulge a little. The fact that she was so bold with it was funny as hell. “Girl, I wouldn’t even thinkkkk about being with Amari in a relationship. At least right now. I just heard the dick is bomb, and I know the tongue can’t be no different.” She giggled.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s not have a talk about anything that has to do with sex and Amari? K? Thanks.” I shook my head. “Sorry.” She laughed. “But we are going tonight right? Cause I already put an oufit together for tonight and I need to be with my man tonight.” She spoke with her hands.

“Yeah, we can go. Hopefully we can get Naomi out from under Mackai long enough for her to come with us too.” “Girl please, we both know that’s not happening.” She rolled her eyes. I’m not sure what he said to her last night, but baby, he had her feeling some type of way okay?

She woke up this morning skinning and grinning. I heard her on the phone last night, laughing it up, I’m guessing with him. She made breakfast, and he swung by to see her before she left for work. They were tonguing each other down in the kitchen. They would have hopped on the counter and had sex if I didn’t clear my throat. I was happy for her. She’d been in a little funk, and he was slowly but surely getting her out of it.

“Oh shit.” I grumbled. I saved my work and closed my Macbook. I wasn’t getting any work done anyway. Thinking about Naomi and Mackai reminded me that Bryson asked to see me tonight. I pulled my phone out my bag and sure enough he had texted me.

Bryson: Hope you having a good day. I know I was supposed to see you tonight, but something came up. How about tomorrow?

I am, thank you. And that’s cool. See you tomorrow.

Everything seems to be falling into place except this paper!

My bed was so soft, and I was never more appreciative to be home after the day I had. I managed to finish and print my paper, minutes before it was due. Since we only had to drop it off today, I left school early and made my way to work until it was time to clock in.

I treated myself to a nice juicy burger during my lunch break. My shift went by pretty fast, but since Claire’s decided they wanted to have a blowout sale today, the place was packed. Rude ass teenagers, mostly. I swear I was so over that job. I got home around 9 and was surprised not to see Naomi. I texted her and she let me know Mack decided to take her out for their first date tonight.

I gagged at the cuteness. I wished her luck and hopped straight in my bed. I have no clue when I went to sleep, but I was awoken with a phone call from Adrienne, letting me know she was outside my apartment door. I sprang up quickly and jogged to the front door to let her in.

When she peep I was still in my clothes from earlier, she huffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorrrrry! I don’t even know when I fell asleep. I swear it won’t take that long for me to get ready.” I let her know. “Okay, but you look so good!” I let her know. “Don’t try to butter me up girl. But thank you.” She laughed. We walked back into my room and I went straight to my closet. I pulled out something to wear and went to turn my shower on.

“You’re wearing.. that?” She asked. “…Yeah? What’s wrong with it?” I pouted. “Nothing, nothing.” She shrugged. “I just think you should step your sexy up, Zemora. I mean you got the body, why not flaunt it?” She asked. “Eh… I don’t know Dri. I just like to be comfortable.” “Let me pick your outfit. Pleasssse?” She begged.

“Okay, Dri. Just nothing too crazy.” I gave her one specific direction. “I got you, I got you. Now get in the shower.” She shooed me. I shook my head, but followed her order anyway. I stripped and jumped into the steaming hot shower and let the water consumed me. I washed myself clean and let the water hit my skin.

Whenever I get in the shower, I have the tendency of letting my thoughts drift. From school, to work, to money, my family, and my sad ass love life. I found myself thinking about Bryson this time. He was so mysterious. I didn’t know much about him, but I found myself always wanting to be around him, always talking to him. It’s weird to me.

I was never good with boys. When I was younger, I was shy as fuck. I would barely speak in a classroom, much less to a boy. My first ever encounter with a boy on a serious level was around senior year. His name was Donovan. We went to different schools and admittedly, we came from different worlds. If you would have told me that my first boyfriend, first love, first everything, would be a white boy, I would tell you, you were a bold face lie.

But he was. Donovan was my everything. Or I thought he was. He wasn’t too wild, he wasn’t too calm. He was just right. Smart, independent, funny. All that. It was crazy to me when we started growing apart my freshman year of college. He went to a school out of state and we just fell apart. We decided to just end it because we were growing apart. Neither of us were putting in the effort, so why waste or time? You know?

Bryson was completely different. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what he did for a living. The numerous amount of phone calls, on the different phones he had, the code him and Mackai spoke in. I knew. I also didn’t judge him either. We all gotta do what we gotta do to survive in this world. Plus, he had a daughter and a family to provide for.

I was so seduced by the mysterious, dangerous persona he had going on. He was fine as hell too. Going from vanilla, no pun intended, to this was new and exciting for me. I found myself thinking things that weren’t too holy when it came to him either. Those lips, those hands, that voice.. My God.

“Zemora! Girl, come on!” Adrienne knocked at the door. She snapped me out of my trance and I was thankful. My thoughts didn’t need to get deeper than that. I turned the shower off, hopped out, and dried my skin. I plugged my flat iron in, knowing I was gonna bump my bob quickly before we left and exited the bathroom.

When I walked out into my room, Dri was setting the bodysuit I bought from an online boutique I bought the other day. “Girl, you holding out on me! This is cute, where’d you get this?” “Some Instagram boutique.” I shrugged. I grabbed some underwear and moisturized my skin before pulling on the outfit she laid out for me. I liked it.

“Okay titties! Okay ass! I see you!” Her silly ass nodded. I was dead. “Stop Adrienne! I do like this, though.” I turned in the mirror to admire my assets. I looked good. It didn’t take me a while longer to get my hair together, a little makeup, and my shoes on. “Ready?” I asked Adrienne after spraying on some perfume. She shot me a look like, “seriously?”

We took my car, and Adrienne made her mind up that if she got too drunk she was spending the night at my house which I had no problem with. She also made jokes about how she might be going home with Amari tonight. We both knew she was lowkey serious though. More power to her.

We drove the route that the GPS guided us along to the address Amari sent me earlier. The houses looked like the ones that were in Bryson’s neighborhood. So, whoever’s house it was, they had money. There were a few cars in the driveway, including Amari’s and I couldn’t hear any loud music, so it really wasn’t anything too big.

We made sure to check each other before we knocked at the door. Jelani opened the door, with a drank in his hand and a smile on his face. “Bout time your fine ass got here.” He grinned at me. I rolled my eyes, like I always do when Jelani opened his mouth to speak to me. “Adrienne this is Jelani, Amari’s thirsty friend.” I half joked.

They exchanged their hellos, before we were invited in. Adrienne and I stayed close to each other when we entered. We kept our eyes open for Amari, more so Adrienne, if you know what I mean. The get together was nice I must say. There was music playing in the background, but nothing too loud. People were mingling and I could swear mostly everybody went to school with us.

“There’s Amari.”Adrienne pointed out once we made our way to the kitchen. He was sitting on the kitchen counter laughing it up with a few people. He looked nice. Adrienne and I sauntered over to say hi. He embraced both of us in hugs and made sure we both had drinks. There was a nice little vibe going on in here and I liked it. Nothing too crazy, which I liked.

The kitchen started getting a little crowded so, most of us made our way outside. It was gorgeous out here. I sat on the couch and continued to sip mu drink and enjoy the music. Adrienne and Amari were definitely flirting this time around. They were standing in the corner, not too far away from m, whispering in each other’s ear, touching, all that. Adrienne made sure to send a grin my way and I could only laugh.

Despite of how bored I probably looked, I was actually having a good time. I adjusted my bodysuit and pulled out my phone from my back pocket. I scrolled through Instagram with one hand and use my other to bring my drink to my lips. Whatever mixed up, it was really good and I had a little buzz going on. This is why I didn’t drink, because I was such a light weight.

“Why they got you over here all by yourself?” I turned my head to see Jelani looking down at me. I giggled. That all I ever did when I drank. “I’m cool by myself.” I shrugged. I’m not sure what gave him the hint to sit down, but he did.

“You sure? You don’t nobody to keep you company?” He asked. I watched as his eyes scanned all over my body. “I’m good, Jelani.” I assured him. In no way, shape or form was Jelani ugly on the outside. But he was so full of himself and he had the nastiest attitude, ever. So that made him ugly.

“You always been stuck up.” He chuckled. “And you always been an asshole.” I countered. I rolled my eyes at him and got up. I headed inside to find a bathroom. The living room was still brightly lit, but there was a light cloud of smoke covering the living room, and I could definitely smell the weed.

It might have been a contact high that had me seeing things, but right in there corner, there sat Bryson. He sat on the couch, blunt in hand, and a girl on his lap. I needed to collect myself. I turned quickly down the hall to find the bathroom.

When I did, I made sure to pee, wash my hands, and collect my thoughts. “Zemora. You can’t be mad. You barely know this boy from a can of paint. He’s is not obligated to tell you that he’s going to be at a party with another girl. That is not your man, therefore, you can not be mad.” The rational side of me was assessing everything. But boy oh boy was the irrational side ready to weigh in. I didn’t let it though. Because honestly, Bryson didn’t owe me shit.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I jumped when I saw him waiting outside the door. “What’s up?” He asked. “Play it cool.” I coached myself. “Oh, hey.” I smiled awkwardly. “Did you need to use the bathroom? I’m all done.” I tried to step away and he grabbed my arm. “Can we talk real quick?” “About..?” I giggled.

“Come on Zemora..” “What?” I giggled. I pulled away from him and resorted back outside. As soon as I stepped outside, my eyes caught Adrienne’s and she walked over to me. “You okay?” She asked with furrowed brows. “Yeah, I’m good. Just kind of ready to go.” I answered. “Oh okay. Cause Amari is ready to go too.” “Alright.”

I followed her lead and Amari was saying his last good byes to everyone outside before we headed back inside to exit through the front door. Bryson and I locked eyes as all three of us exited and I looked away. I was ready to go home and get in my bed.

“You good to drive, Z?” Amari asked. “Yeah.” And it was true, seeing Bryson and his little girlfriend sobered me up. Plus, I didn’t even drink that much. “You positive?” He double check. “Mari, I promise.” I assured him. I climbed into my car, and he made sure I put my seat belt on. “Uh, yo friend Adrienne rolling with me.” He smiled. That bitch.

“Mari..” “I know. I know Z. Look it ain’t even like that.” He chuckled. “But it is Amari.” I rolled my eyes. “Look, we both know what we doing. She ain’t drunk. We good. Now you just worry about getting home safe. Call me when you get home. I love you.” “Love you too.” I rolled my eyes. “Them shits gon’ fall out yo head.” He laughed as he watched me back out the driveway.

I got to my house about 20 minutes later, and made sure to tell Amari I got here safely. Naomi wasn’t back yet. I could tell. I made sure to check her room too. I took my make up off, got in some PJs, and decided to watch some Netflix.

Twenty minutes into Captain America, my phone went off, indicating a text message.

Bryson: You make it home safe?

I rolled my eyes and sat my phone back down.I wanted to be petty and ask him if the girl he was with made it home safe, but I decided against it. He owes me nothing, so therefore I don’t need to give him any energy.

Bryson: Zemora.. please just let me know if you got home okay.

Rolling my eyes once again, I decided to put him out his misery.

Yes Bryson, I made it home.

Bryson: Can we talk about tonight?

There’s nothing to talk about..?

Bryson: Forreal Zemora, I know shit look bad but I promise you, it wasn’t even like that.

You don’t owe me any type of explanation. Good night.

Bryson: Come open your front door.

What the fuck? I looked at my phone like I was crazy. I know, he did not show up to my house! I battled with myself for a second or two, before deciding to go and open it. I opened the door slightly and he looked up at me. “Can I come in? Please?” He asked. I sighed, but let him in nonetheless.

“What are you doing here? It’s late.” “I couldn’t let you go to sleep mad at me.” He shrugged. Okay Ne-yo. I rolled my eyes internally. “I don’t want you to think I lied to you, because I didn’t. Something really did come up. You can confirm that with my sister and Mack. He was a little late for their date because of it. We could have still met up, but I figured you would be tired because you had school and you worked today.”

“So you went to the party with another girl because you thought I wouldn’t be there?” I finished his thought. “No! Nah. Zemora it ain’t like that at all. I went to the party cause I go invited, I figured why not. One minute I’m smoking a blunt kicking it with my niggas, the next some girl slip herself on my lap. I ain’t gon’ lie and say I don’t know her, cause I do. But, me and this girl ain’t never been intimate or nothing like that. We just got the same group of friends.”

All of this sounded legit, but I don’t know. “Okay. Is that all? It’s really late Bryson.” He nodded. “I just wanted you to know the truth.” “Okay.” I responded. I opened the door for him again. He walked out and before he turned to leave he said, “I don’t know what it is.”

“What?” “I don’t know what it is about you. For whatever reason, I’m so fucking drawn to you and I don’t know why. I just left a party because I had to make sure you was good, and that you knew the truth before I went to sleep. And I don’t even know you.” He ran his hand over his face. Crazy.. cause I felt the same way.

He sighed. He leaned in and kissed my cheek, “Good night Zemora.” And then he left.

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ezra-blue · 8 years

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Week 2

Last week: 170 lbs

This week: 169 lbs

Not as dramatic of a drop as the first week, no, but it means that what I did lose didn’t come back. It also means that despite going out for a nice, albeit rich dinner last night, I didn’t undo my hard work and vigilance throughout the week.

See, it’s not that hard. I like fruits and vegetables. I enjoy a variety of vegetables and fruits and I incorporate them into meals wherever possible. Things like vegetables and fruits are free of points, so I’m geared towards snacking on them when I get hungry. I don’t care as much for chips and deep fried things, but there is no denying that pan-fried chicken cutlets or pork chops are tasty. I like rice, white, brown, jasmine, basmati, I’m not picky. Noodles, too, and potatoes. I can still have them on the plan, but I have to eat less of them, because those points add up really quick.

I gave up granola bar snacks in exchange for an extra orange or apple in my lunch, which allows me to conserve points for later, but even now, I’m planning dinner for tonight and just in utter disbelief that 3/4 of a cup of pasta and 1/2 a cup of meat sauce (home made; next time I’ll put my exact recipe in to get more accurate measurements) accounts for more than 1/3 of my allocated points. Luckily, I had a modest breakfast and a good lunch packed.

Learning to measure is pretty important when it comes to serving sizes. I’m used to this from baking, too; I’ve got plenty of cup measures, and I have an electric scale for weighing food items. It’s a surprise both ways, both how much and how little you get for your food value.

When my doctor told me to lose ten pounds, she said, non-specifically (and unhelpfully) to “cut carbs” without explaining how or what she means. How many carbs do I cut? How much should I have per day? I’ve inadvertently done that just by trimming my serving sizes and trying to cut down on sugary snacks.

... except I LOVE sugary snacks and cupcakes and red bean mochi and ice cream. Urgh. I really need to get better at budgeting my points during the day so I can have dessert more often!

I’m mastering the art of “no thank you” at work. We sometimes get treats from our paper supplier, so right now, there are little tins of cookies scattered around, and last Monday, a goddamn cinnamon bundt cake arrived out of the blue. I managed not to touch a single cookie this week, and I only took a single bite of cake before my friend and the other coworkers ate it. This same friend also likes Starbucks runs, but my issue is that while I like walking the two blocks to the Starbucks down the road and back, my preferred Starbucks drinks are milk-based and have sugar. Lots of sugar. 5 or 6 points, even with nonfat milk. (Have I mentioned I hate coffee?) I’m trying to get used to getting plain teas instead, and maybe if I have a day where I’m way under budget and planning a super healthy dinner I could get one of my regular orders, but mostly, I’ve just been saying “no thank you, but I can go get you something if you like.”

... this same friend (whom I’ve known since middle school) is a point of frustration for me for other reasons with regard to diet, but that’s a story for another day.

Either way, I’m doing okay. Hopefully once we get past V-day and that box of chocolates Mr. Blue got me goes away (one piece at a time), I’ll do even better!

One last thing: the most difficult part of this has been that I want to get a head start on my Otakon cosplays, but since I’m hoping my measurements are going to change, I can’t get started yet because I don’t know what size to purchase materials for!

#food issues #weight issues #blue-chan confessional night #blue goes on a diet

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superfitbabe · 7 years

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Thoughts the next morning: “Why HELLO, Buddha belly.”

Oh golly, I haven’t had ANY day of eating like this one! So many people have some sort of stance on cheat days. From what I’ve seen, most people do not recommend cheat days as a regular part of one’s regimen, but some people suggest that cheat days are most certainly okay or even beneficial for one’s progress. Personally, I do not follow a routine that involves cheat days on a regular basis, let alone, intentionally once in a while. Even though I do attend many vegan food-filled events where I don’t eat the best, I wouldn’t consider those a full-blown cheat day. I’d say that I eat at least 1,000 calories over my maintenance during those events, but otherwise, nothing too drastic.

However, I was really, really curious to see what a cheat day does feel like. People often comment on food challenges saying that those food feats are their regular days of eating. Intriguing, right? I wanted to know what it felt like to consume an entire day’s worth of not-so-healthy food, as well as see what I could maximally eat without feeling sick to my stomach. Hence, I scheduled a cheat day to eat all of my favorite foods that are filled with gluten, salt, oil, sugar, fat, carbs, and deliciousness that I wouldn’t eat often. They were all 100% vegan, of course! In general, I cook with little to no salts, seasonings, and almost no oils. But that cheat day was an exception. If it tasted good, it went in my mouth.

As a disclaimer, I would NEVER, EVER recommend that anybody consume this amount and this type of food daily. It’s not healthy, not reasonable, and most certainly not feasible (at least for me). I would rather spend a week where I consume enough nutrient-dense foods for the entire week with one cheat meal maybe 1-3 times in that whole week, versus restricting myself for 6 days a week and then offing all bets on the last day. To me, that’s yo-yo dieting, which is never a healthy lifestyle. If you do want to schedule a cheat day in your weekly or monthly routine, I suggest talking to a medical or dietetic professional, being smart, and listening to your body wholeheartedly.

Anyhow, going back to my intentions for this cheat day, I wanted to firstly celebrate my last full day in Los Angeles during Memorial Day weekend with a bang, gain some weight that I lost (in an unintentional and unhealthily fashion) the past weeks, enjoy some delicious vegan treats that I brought to the trip, and see how much I can possibly eat! Everything tasted absolutely fabulous, and I am stoked to be sharing these wonderful meals!

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MEAL 1: Vegan zucchini chocolate chip loaf (provided by my college’s dining and culinary staff) with a Purely Inspired Organic vegan French vanilla protein spread, mochi, a raspberry double chocolate brownie Fig bar, and Big Kettle cinnamon French toast apples. Tasted like the offspring if you were to cross-breed a brownie, a chocolate chip muffin, zucchini bread, a s’mores bar, and apple pie. Otherwise, AMAZINGNESS.

MEAL 2: a heaping bowl of Kashi GoLean Cinnamon Crisp cereal, The Organic Pantry Company raisin coconut granola bites, and Silk vanilla plant protein soymilk. The Kashi cereal tasted amazing, the granola tasted more like plain flax crackers with coconut and raisins than granola, but the soymilk was so creamy and perfect! I still loved it a lot!

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MEAL 3: random plate of broiled tempeh and a bag Gardein mandarin crispy orange “chick’n” in the orange sauce provided in the package. Hands down, THIS WAS CRAZY. The chick’n pieces tasted more like chicken nuggets in orange sauce rather than actual pieces of orange chicken, but I still loved them wholeheartedly! Not something I should eat everyday, but yep. Ate the whole bag. No bloody shame.

MEAL 4: (unpictured) CLIF chocolate peanut butter-filled bar. Did I eat it before taking a picture because it was so yummy? Maybe…

MEAL 5: Half a bag of Beanfields ranch chips. ADDICTIVE, but I got full pretty quickly from the meals earlier.

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MEAL 6: “I Am Open” maple miso glazed Brussel sprouts and the “I Am Resolved” soul food plate of red beans and dirty rice, collard greens, barbecue jackfruit, a gluten free cheddar jalapeño biscuit, coleslaw, jerk tempeh, and barbecue sauce at Cafe Gratitude! The Brussel sprouts were demolished easily, and so were most of the Resolved food except for the jalapeño biscuit and the collard greens, which didn’t really taste that special, in my humblest opinion.

MEAL 7 (unpictured): some Surf Sweets vegan fruity bears and vegan jelly beans that tasted like childhood, a granola truffle that tasted super fancy, a vegan fortune cookie that was like…well, any fortune cookie, and candied ginger that tasted DISGUSTING.

MEAL 8: two R bars–one of them being the Prickly Pear Pecan and the other being Peanut Butter and Jelly. Both tasted like condensed Larabars! I really adored both in their own ways; the pecan bar resembled a pear crumble and the peanut butter and jelly bar reminded me of the PB&J Larabar, which is my favorite flavor! Highly recommend them both!

MEAL 9: My mother surprised me with a vegan mango sorbet popsicle stick! I wasn’t expecting this at all and downed it with enthusiasm. It tasted so refreshing and perfect for the warm weather!

MEAL 10: The famous General Tso’s Brussel sprouts from Cruciferous, a new vegan restaurant in Los Angeles that debuted at the Vegan Street Fair! They tasted like General Tso’s chicken at any Chinese restaurant–a meat eater and vegan will adore them alike!

MEAL 11: Three fist-sized scoops of vegan s’mores ice cream, salted caramel ice cream, and sunbutter and jelly ice cream with rainbow sprinkles from Cocobella Creamery. Easily annihilated and hands down, my favorite vegan ice cream on the planet! The salted caramel is so silky smooth like a mix of nice cream and real ice cream, the s’mores was so rich, soft, fluffy, and decadent, and the sunbutter and jelly ice cream tasted a lot lighter yet perfectly nutty and sweet. Cocobella Creamery is a MUST if you’re ever in Los Angeles!

MEAL 12: Bento plate of white rice with sesame seeds, broccoli, fried Pokémon tofu with onions, and a cabbage salad at Gokoku Vegetarian Ramen! I used to be SUPER FEARFUL of white rice because I would usually wake up with some sort of skin malady the morning after. I always thought I had some sort of skin intolerance to it until today when I realized it was my own mind manipulating me into believing so! But I woke up the next morning with clear skin and lots of energy, even after eating more white rice in a day than I’ve eaten in the past four years. It tasted a lot softer than brown rice, but I still prefer the graininess and fibrous density of the whole grain brown, wild or black (my favorite kind) rice. But either way, it was such a refresher to revisit an old “forbidden” item on my list and discover that it’s not entirely bad!

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MEAL 13: A takeaway lemon blueberry coffee cake from Cafe Gratitude! I forgot what the name of it is, but it was super delicious! I ended up having it was 3-4 spoonfuls of creamy almond butter to cap off the night. PERFECTION on a plate.

New YouTube Video: What I Ate on My First Cheat Day (vegan) Thoughts the next morning: "Why HELLO, Buddha belly." Oh golly, I haven't had ANY day of eating like this one!

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