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#before she fully understood what it was
book-lover85 · 7 days
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fics where Inej tells Kaz it's ok if he can't always touch her or can't always bring his full armor down as long as he's trying >>>>>>>
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torgawl · 10 months
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i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.
#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting#nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective#someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond#someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life#and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish#a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life#ah.#i find her last line so... powerful?#she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that#moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people#and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart#just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a#position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her#for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji#and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events#and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it#even if it was for a brief moment in her life#i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :')#she deserved so much better#and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end#because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭#i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me#yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me#jjk spoilers#nobara kugisaki#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 💭#my post
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skrs-cats · 2 months
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still holding out hope for a jayfeather/Lionblaze se or novella... my one dream
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irkendogma · 4 months
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Would Tak herself be into selfcest?
i don't think she'd have any particular opinion on the topic of selfcest itself, honestly! for me, the idea of tak/takship has always been less of a relationship formed on active desire than a relationship formed by the highly specific context in which it occurs
it's not that she's into getting with herself, it's that the only one she trusts not to work against her, to view her for the ability and ambition she's cultivated rather than the height and social station she can't help, is herself. her entire life's been a solitary endeavor out of necessity, and her ego is flagrant enough that she doesn't see a problem with this - it's fine if nobody can be trusted to assist her, because she's certain her own efforts will not just suffice but excel - but all the ego in the world won't prevent loneliness even if you leave it to develop quiet and unacknowledged in the back of your head
that's the crux of her relationship with takship: she's made to see herself, whether that's in how she appears to others, how she would be in a more "perfect" state, or just how she, in her own body and her own mind, feels when she's unable to ignore it or push it aside any longer
takship stemming so fully from her own psyche means that she's able to offer a kind of stripped-raw, unsteady support that she recognizes from what was never offered to herself, and it means that when that support is reciprocated she knows the exact nature and intention of it - she doesn't have to worry about being patronized or manipulated. she doesn't have to worry about takship secretly thinking of her as just a delusional runt keeping up a useless struggle, because for the first time in her life, she has someone else fighting that exact same struggle alongside her
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theamazingannie · 7 months
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Kinda crazy how people will call out celebrities for not speaking up on political issues and then a celebrity WILL speak up on that political issue but doesn’t do it in exactly the way these people want so they’ll call THEM out too and it’s like why tf would anyone want to do anything these days if every action they take gets them called out???
#specifically referencing Annie Lennox this time but I’ve seen it so many times just on this issue alone#she called for a ceasefire at the fucking Grammys and all pro Palestine people praised her#and then she made a non aggressive post about it on Twitter that still called for ceasefire but didn’t praise hamas#and people are shaming her and calling her a coward#another time I read someone say Bella Ramsay signed the hostage release letter right after Oct 7#but has since been outspoken about pro Palestine#but that that’s not enough and they’re still bad for doing that first thing#when they’re an actor not an activist and nobody really understood what was going on back then#like this is exactly why I won’t be one of the people calling on celebrities to be posting on every issue#cuz even people more well informed are called out for being wrong about stuff#I’ve been following this issue since 2019 and I still don’t feel fully comfortable doing more than sharing stuff from better informed people#cand calling out hypocracies and bad arguements (something I studied in college)#I can’t expect someone who didn’t know anything before four months ago and doesn’t actively follow it now#to feel comfortable taking a strong side on an issue where no matter what you do you’re gonna get death threats from SOMEONE#pro Israel pro Palestine neural stance silence#every single choice makes people mad at you so it’s really safer to go with the last#this isn’t ‘register to vote’ or ‘this issue directly affects me and I’m therefore better informed so I’ll talk about it’#this is an extremely hot button sensitive issue#and I’m tired of people acting like social media activism is where we should start and end#call our your politicians not your actors and singers for gods sake
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dedf1shs-wife · 2 years
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i saw a post earlier that was a joke that was just like "bitches be like 'my first butch oc!!' *pic of a girl with a pixie cut*" and it reminded me of how my first butch oc was an undead cinderace named after an Amon Amarth song
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ashasdiary · 2 months
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Ovulation
Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader
Synopsis: Toji is away for work while you are ovulating — and you are suffering deeply from needingtobefuckeditis. When he returns, boy does he deliver. 
CW: horniness like you’ve never felt before, mentions of masturbation, established relationship, smut — unprotected sex, spanking, creampie, overstimulation?, anal fingering, squirting, hair pulling, dom!Toji, breeding kink (MDNI) WC: 4k A/N: oh to be Toji’s toy during ovulation… 😵‍💫
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You could not think straight. Usually, the ovulation stage of your cycle would bring the to be expected egg white and some out of pocket dirty thoughts here and there, but this time? Your reproductive organs were on steroids. 
Even before your period had ended, your mind had been clouded with such downright dirty thoughts of being absolutely rawed that you worried to think what your body would be like once it actually did finish. 
And oh, were you ill-prepared. 
It hit you with full force the first morning without your period. All you could think about was sex. Of being fucked so good that you’d see god. Of your cunt being used and abused in the way that she was clearly craving so fucking badly. Of being so stuffed full of cum that it would leak out all over your legs. 
Going to work in these conditions was brutal. The work day was ordinarily not so long, but now? You were suffering. To add insult to injury, Toji was out of town for work, so you had no one to satisfy you except the sad little piece of plastic in your bedside drawer. 
You had long retired your rabbit since being with Toji, for obvious reasons, the main being that nothing and no one could ever come close to him. And you’d gotten so used to how good he would give it to you that you knew that nothing you could do with the rabbit would ever compare. 
Every time he was away, you’d have no communication until he came back, which you understood due to his line of work, but right now, you hated that fact because you wish you could at least hear his voice. Something, anything from him would help. 
So here you were, on day 2 of your ovulation phase, trying to get Megumi to sleep sooner so you could get to bed yourself. 
When he eventually did fall asleep, you darted out of his room and into yours, pulling off your clothes hastily and grabbing your current sleeping companion from the nightstand. 
While it wasn’t Toji, you managed to satiate your aching cunt for the time being. 
The next day was ever the challenge, but thankfully you had some tasks at work that required additional brain power so this distracted you briefly from the dire need to be fucked.
The constant horniness was getting tiring without Toji truly satisfying it, but you did your best to nonetheless, counting down the days until he’d come home, which — you check your watch — should be in 3 days, 2 hours, and 24 minutes. 
You decided to get creative with your methods, one such being a Pilates class. Your friend had told you, verbatim, “If you want to feel like you’ve been bent over, disrespectfully, and have your legs quaking by the end, go to a Pilates class.”
So you had decided to do just that. Megumi had a babysitter for that evening while you were at the class, so you got to fully immerse yourself into it. You did not expect it to be so difficult, having to bend your body into all these different positions and engaging your core in a way that you’d never felt before. The burn was undeniable and strangely, you did find that it helped somewhat. 
Your muscles truly ached the next day, a Friday. This helped keep the dirty thoughts and the horny feelings at bay as you winced from the muscle ache at work, but by the time you got home, your mind had clouded once again.
You had Megumi to tend to for the evening until his bedtime, so you had to keep it all at bay while you watched over the sweet boy. He was a great kid and you were grateful that he was as such. 
Finally, finally, you tuck him into bed a few hours later and make sure he’s asleep before you shut his door and head into yours like a woman on a mission. 
Day 4 of ovulation and it was probably the worst of them all. The desperation you were feeling was like you were a bitch in heat.
So, imagine the sheer anger that strikes through you when you find that your rabbit’s batteries had died and you had no spare ones to hand. Of fucking course. 
Toji is very many things. Toji is a punctual man. (Or, at least, he tells himself that. He tries to be.)
He had told you he’d be home after his mission on Sunday afternoon, and usually his missions take the whole predicted time, but this mission he’d gotten lucky with and he’d managed to finish up quicker than anticipated by Friday evening. He was happy about that; he’d be getting paid the same figure and also get to go home sooner. 
While he’s making the journey home, he wonders what he’d do with his “paid time off” as you’d call it — probably primarily family time with you and Megumi. You. He’d missed you, your voice, and your sweet body. He wouldn’t say it outright, but he was excited to see you. And so was his cock. 
Toji had expected to arrive home to a quiet, dark house since it was nighttime and you loved your beauty sleep. What he didn’t expect was to find you splayed out open on the bed, fingers knuckle deep as you pump them furiously in and out of your weeping pussy, quiet mewls falling from you as you gasp and rub quick circles on your swollen clit. 
Toji can do very many things. Arriving early to places is not one of them, you’ll note. 
Your eyes were closed and your face twisted into one of pleasure as you made do with your hands and fingers, but you opened them to watch yourself when you suddenly notice Toji stood in the doorway, raging hard on poking through his pants, and you instantly stop. 
“Toji?” You sit up quickly, unable to believe the sight before you. Were you so far gone that you’d imagined him? 
“Oh, don’t stop, baby, I was enjoying the show,” he husks, a sexy smirk on his lips as he kicks the door shut and stalks towards you. 
You kneel over to the end of the bed and let out a soft whine when he pulls off his shirt and comes to stand in front of you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. He was real. When you break apart for air, you sigh, “I can’t believe you’re home already, I was going insane without you.”
“That so?” He chuckles lowly, big hands groping the bare skin of your hips and sliding back to your ass as he connects your lips again. He can sense some urgency in the way you kiss. “Unwrapped my gift for me, huh?”
“I’m ovulating, Toji. I’ve been fucking feral. I needed you so bad this past week…I still do. I need it. I feel like I’m going to die if you don’t give it to me,” you look at him and he can see the desperation in your eyes. 
He laughs quietly, letting you open the ribbon of his pants, “Death by lack of dick. Interesting way to go.”
“I’m serious, Toji,” you responded, pulling him onto the bed with his pants at his knees. He lets them fall down the rest of the way and he kisses you again, hungrier this time. You moan into his mouth, lying back and pulling him on top of you. He hovers over you, your legs instantly wrapping around his hips. 
You feel the hot press of his heavy cock against your puffy folds, and the excitement of finally getting what you had been longing for, for this entire week gives you a rush. He grunts as he rocks his hips into yours, covering his thick cock with the copious amounts of wetness that had already accumulated at your core. The rubbing of his cock on your clit makes you mewl and you get restless, reaching down to guide him into you. 
“So needy for me, aren’t you? My perfect little wife,” he hums against your mouth and you lift your hips, pumping him with your hand once, twice, before you’re guiding him into your waiting entrance. She’d been waiting for this, waiting for him, and the pure relief that you feel of his cock filling you and stretching your walls is something heavenly. 
You let out a filthy moan when he bottoms out inside you, and he covers your mouth with his large hand, “Meg’s sleeping, sweetheart, I know you’ve been waiting for this but keep it down.”
You swallow, biting your lip and nodding before he gives you a dirty grind of his hips, his pubic bone grazing your clit. You nearly go cross eyed at the pure bliss this gives you. Truth be told, he was surprised at how easily you’d taken all of him on the first try, but he wasn’t complaining. You were snug as always, wrapped around him so perfectly like you were moulded just for him. 
He draws his hips back and you let out a gasp at the heavy feeling of his cock dragging against your plush walls. When he thrusts back into you, you feel like you might explode. You need him to fuck you senseless. 
“Faster, baby, please,” you plead, grasping onto his beefy arms, nails digging in a little. 
“I love when you beg for me,” he murmurs, lips curled into a smirk as he sucks on your neck. He rolls his hips steadily a few more times, ever the tease, but then he obliges with your request, quickening his pace. He brings his lips to yours in an open mouthed, breathy, messy kiss while he fucks you into the mattress, then leans back because he wants to watch the way you fall apart under him. 
You’re on cloud nine; there’s nothing better than the satisfaction of having a craving fulfilled, nothing better than the pleasure of Toji putting you through the mattress. You try to stifle your moans but you can’t, your face twisted in pleasure as he rams his thick, delicious cock into your needy cunt over and over again. 
It’s when he grabs your legs from your knees, pushing them up one at a time to fold you in half, that you feel the tingles of your orgasm fast approaching. He hooks his arms under your thighs and pins you to the bed that way, fucking into you rougher despite you being tighter around him now. “Ah— mm, T-Toji-!” Your hands trail up around his shoulders, nails leaving angry red tracks on his muscled back while he pistons his hips repeatedly into yours, the sound of your hips colliding echoing in the room alongside your lewd moans. 
You can feel your orgasm approaching fast and you grip onto him, gazing up at him, dazed. “Cum f’me, sweetness— hah— oh, fuck,” he grunts, dipping his head to tease your taut nipple with the flat of his tongue. 
He loved having you in this position, he loved testing fate every time you fucked like so. It’s the combination of your carnal desire being satisfied, his mouth on your tits, the deep plunge of his cock inside you, and his direct order that sends you over the edge into the deepest depths of euphoria with a moan so dirty it sounds like a cry. The wave that overcomes your body makes you stiffen and your walls pulse so tightly that it almost becomes painful while he continues to fuck you through it. 
“That’s it, baby, f-fuck, give it to me,” Toji groans, hips stuttering as he feels his balls tighten, signalling his imminent release. He pants as he keeps thrusting, and you pull his face up to yours so that you can kiss him. Tongues tangled, his pleasure overcomes him and he buries himself deep inside you as he cums, releasing his thick ropes into your waiting cunt. 
He breathes heavily and tries to catch his breath for a moment, lips moving lazily against yours. You bask in the delicious feeling of him fucking his cum inside you. 
You’re holding onto him tightly as he releases your legs and you wrap them around his waist again, letting out a quiet mewl when you feel him slip from your confines. “Baby…wait…” 
“Remind me to go on missions while you’re ovulating,” he says, a smirk curling at his lips while he pecks kisses on your jaw, “we should do that again sometime.”
You feel up his back, a part of him you loved especially, already feeling empty and wanting more of him. “Sometime? How about… again, right now?” You suggest, and he stops for a second, looking down at you incredulously. 
“Wh—now?” He repeats and you nod, biting your bottom lip as you bring your hand to cup his face. Thumb caressing his cheek, he turns his head to kiss the palm of your hand, his eyes hooded as he feels the rush of arousal through his body once again. His cock was still hard and he grabs your face in both his hands, crashing his lips to yours in a rush of desire. You moan into his mouth as he pushes his tongue past the seam of your lips and against yours. 
You push him up and this causes him to break the kiss as he sits back on his haunches and waits to see what you want to do. Precum oozes from his slit when he watches you get on all fours and rock your hips sensually for him. 
The mess between your thighs drips down them, but you don’t care. You just needed him, again. You wanted more. You wanted all of him. You arch your back, bringing your arms down so you can rest on your elbows. “I want you this way,” you tell him and he wets his lips as he kneels behind you. 
He’d never seen you be this damn needy. It was so sexy to him.  
Large hands grabbing your hips, he rests his heavy cock on the crack of your ass as he reaches around you to toy with your clit. You keen at the calculated movement of his thick fingers, absentmindedly pushing your hips back against his. “God, Toji…” you sigh contently, eager to have him inside you again. 
He can be a tease sometimes and make you beg for it, but right now, he was more than happy to entertain this. Taking his hand away from your clit, he holds onto your hip while he guides his leaking cock into your cunt. You keen at the feeling, the difference in position being felt entirely. You rest your cheek against the bed with a breathy sigh.
He feeds you inch by delicious inch of his thick cock, letting out a tsk when your walls clench around him involuntarily. He swats your ass in response and you let out a small cry, the sting of it going straight to your pussy. He finally bottoms out inside you again, and he pulses his hips, his balls teasing your throbbing clit. 
“O-oh…mmnh…” you let out incoherent sounds, gripping the bedsheets when he draws his hips back until only his tip was inside you, slamming his hips into yours with a forceful thrust. 
He begins a brutal pace, the sound of your hips slapping together even louder than before. Your eyes are screwed shut as you enjoy the feeling of being thoroughly fucked, your mouth agape while he pulls you back onto his cock. 
It’s too much, too fast, your brain can hardly keep up with the fast pace of his. He’s drawing out lewd and dirty moans of his name from you, to which he reaches up and wraps his hand around your hair, pulling on it a little. “I told you to be quiet, sweet thing.”
You bury your face into the sheets and muffle your moans while he continues to ravage your greedy cunt. He releases your hair and lets out a low growl at the sight of your pussy creaming around his dick. Toji loves your ass. It’s why he doesn’t even think about it before he’s gathering your slick and teasing your asshole with his finger. 
He’s fucking you into oblivion now, and the sensations are getting slightly overwhelming but you want to power through because you’d been needing this like you needed air. You wanted this. 
With each mean thrust of his cock against your plush walls, you edge closer and closer to another, no doubt, life changing orgasm. 
“Takin’ me so damn good, baby,” he grits out, dipping his finger into your ass as he continues his mean pace, the thump, thump, thump of his hips hitting yours like the base of a delightful melody. 
And boy, oh, boy, was he playing your body like his favourite instrument. 
It’s when he’s fully fingering your ass that it happens all at once, your orgasm hits you in an instant and a sudden rush washes over you; a pressure in your abdomen being released as you squirt all over him and the bed. You cry out, tears in your eyes from the ecstasy of it all, your legs almost giving out. 
He lets out a gasp, both from the surprise of you squirting all of a sudden, and from the sheer strength of your orgasm which had your walls gripping him so tightly that he struggled to keep his own at bay. Again. Fuck, you were addictive. “Jesus—! Fuck!” He hisses through clenched teeth. 
The mess of your squirt, your juices and your cream covered his lower abdomen and he was living for being this fucking filthy with you. He fucks into you a few more times before he starts to cum, slamming his hips into yours again and again to ride through it. His breath shudders as he slows gradually to a stop. He stays there, plugging his cum in you, and you inhale shaky breaths, eyes still closed. 
Toji can do very many things, especially with you. Fucking like rabbits was one of his favourite. 
He bows over your back, panting for breath, and you both fall onto your sides as you come down from the high. He caresses your hip, where he’d held a bruising grip on you before. You take a moment to gather yourself, and you move off of him, your puffy pussy feeling (and looking, Toji noted) truly abused by that point. You grab the glass of water you’d put on the bedside table earlier and take a long sip, rehydrating yourself. 
Toji rolls onto his back, closing his eyes, hand splayed on his abs. You let yourself shamelessly ogle his body while you drink your water; eyes raking down from his pretty face to his large torso, bulging pecs, defined abs, prominent v-line that led straight to his beautiful, big, curved, and still hard but slowly softening cock. 
You salivated at the sight of it. The tiredness in your body starts to dissipate the more you look at him. 
More, more, more. You wanted more. 
You set your glass down and crawl over to him, straddling his hips. He opens his eyes at this and gazes up at you in question. As far as he was concerned, you should have been satiated following that last round. 
He can see the glint of mischief in your eyes as you reach between you and wrap your hand around his cock, pumping it slowly. He doesn’t protest — if anyone can keep up with you it’s him — and he watches with piqued interest at how you work his cock so easily, doing all the right things that he likes. 
“We already got this messy and you wanna go again?” He inquires, and you nod lazily, thumbing over his slit and smirking to yourself when you feel it jump. Not only are you stroking his cock but you’re also stroking his ego, and he is thoroughly enjoying being the recipient of both of those things. 
It doesn’t take much before he’s rock hard again, and he’s groping your ass as you lift your hips and aligning him at your entrance, sinking down onto him in one smooth and steady motion. 
He grits his teeth, jaw clenching as he gazes up at you, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head as you feel yourself being split apart on his thick cock for the third time that evening. 
You didn’t need much time to adjust to him so you rock your hips back and forth, feeling the base of his cock catch at your clit, making you cream around him. Toji’s groans are deep and rumble from within his chest as you take the reins, lifting your hips and sinking back down, over and over, desperately. You look so wanton as you ride him, your pretty tits bouncing in his face so he can’t help but give them the attention they deserve. 
You clench around him when you feel his mouth on you, so messy with it; open mouthed kisses, sucking, licking, damn near drooling all over your chest. 
“Christ, you’re gonna end up pregnant at this rate,” he says with a warning tone, but you only look at him with hooded eyes.
“What if that’s what I want, Toji?” You murmur, bouncing your hips faster. “What if I want you to put a baby in me?” 
“Yeah? Wanna give Gumi a sibling, huh?” He rasps, squeezing your ass tightly. 
It was at that point that you go onto autopilot, your body moving on its own accord, fucking down onto him with such carnal need that you felt like an animal. 
“Yes…yes, fuck, Toji, yes,” you ramble, feeling that you’re nearing your release. You reach back and play with his balls, squeezing them, pulling ever so gently, wanting him to cum with you. 
“I’m gonna give it all to you, pretty. Gonna give you every last fuckin’ drop,” his chest rises and falls quicker as you both get closer and closer to the edge. 
You lean forward and bounce your hips faster, filthy moans being drawn from your lips which Toji tries to quieten by crushing his lips on yours in a bruising kiss.
You both reach your peaks within seconds of one another, and you try to keep your pace to ride through it but you simply give into the rush of your orgasm and let it take hold of your body. Toji shoots his hot load into you, holding your hips tightly as you both let out breathy moans of each other’s names alongside profanity. 
Your walls greedily milk him of every drop that he has to give, and you sigh in contentment as you relax against him, sweaty but satisfied. 
Your legs had gone jelly now, the lactic acid build up was catching up to you. Many won’t know this but Toji does have an attentive side that he keeps reserved for you (and his son sometimes). You find yourself smiling when he brings his hands to your thighs and massages them gently, squeezing your muscles a little to get rid of the lactic acid burn. 
You kiss him slowly, taking your time to savour the taste of him. 
“Can we go again?” You ask with a needy tone, but you couldn’t quite hide the slight tiredness in your voice. 
“Honey, we’ve gotta pump the brakes…I’m tired as shit right now and I need— we both need to sleep,” he sighs, running a hand up over his face, pushing his hair back a little. 
You pout at him, rubbing the base of his neck and leaning in to suck a dark mark onto his skin, knowing you’d have to let up. “Tomorrow, then? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner?”
“Do I look like a buffet to you?” He quips, and you dissolve into a fit of laughter. “But…fine. Since you asked so nicely.”
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Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved.
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riminiscensce · 21 days
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5 + 1
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CHARACTER ... kinich
SYNOPSIS ... 5 times Kinich protected someone, and 1 time he felt protected
NOTES ... a kinich fic because what the fuck was that backstory bro CUT MY GUY SOME SLACK 😭
CONTENTS ... sfw , kinich-centric , spoilers for kinich’s character stories , gender neutral reader , can be read as platonic
Word Count ... 3367
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1) His mother
From before he was seven, Kinich always remembered waking up to the smell of breakfast his mother would have ready at the table. 
Being the child that he was, he never fully understood how his mother was able to do it; to wake up before the sun could even rise, and still last long enough to make it past through sunset. 
Having a mother like her made Kinich feel included within the small group of kids that would pass by their house once in a while. 
The one they would often talk about is how their mothers would always be up early in the morning to prepare delicious food for them. Kinich, though not a part of their conversation, felt like he could empathize with them. 
He felt connected with the other children because of his mother.
Then the children started to talk about how close their own mothers were with the others. That they would have family dinners, share advice, talk about their family…
That was the one thing that separates his mother from the rest. 
Kinich always felt a stinging pain in him whenever he would watch his mother farm by herself.
Instead of like the mothers other kids have, his mother was different in a way that she would spend most of her time on her own.
At that age, Kinich was already aware of the reason as to why this is. 
If it was not for his father's behavior, his mother wouldn't have been ashamed of talking about her family to their neighbors. 
She wouldn't have to spend her time alone, dreading the moment her husband comes through the door with that sickening smell of alcohol and another empty pouch of Mora. 
That's why he took it upon himself to be there for her. 
To share the same silence as she did when no one else would. 
Kinich had a particular quietness around him, the same kind his mother had; it was one of the things he remembers about her.
But there was a time when they talked while they were farming. 
Most of their conversation was starting to grow torn and forgotten in Kinich’s memory. But there was one thing that his mother said that always stuck with him as he grew. 
“Thank you,” His mother once said with a heavy hand on his unkempt hair, and a somber look on her face that one could only give to her protector. 
When he first heard this, Kinich felt content, like he had done the right thing. He felt like he had saved his mother from ever truly being lonely.
But that would be the first and last time he felt that way with her.  
Things only went downhill when they were forced to move out of their house and into the mountains because of his father’s betting addiction. 
Then his mother left them—left him. 
It was something that never comes up between him and his dad. 
Looking back, Kinich thinks of his mother’s abandonment as the payment for the care she has given him and his father.
But he was just a child then, of course he wouldn’t have decided on an answer of his own back then. 
So he asked someone else.
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2) His father
It was his seventh birthday when it happened. 
Kinich couldn’t have waited for a better timing than this. His father likely knew of his birthday, and so he might be more lenient with him for the day in return. 
That could’ve been what happened. 
Instead, a pair of bloodshot eyes drilled their way into his own—it felt so different to the eyes that he inherited.
Then the next thing he knew, he was running past trees, his father closely behind him, yelling drunken curses that a child should never have heard.
It was the waves of adrenaline that saved Kinich from being caught in his father’s violent hands, weaving through the thick bushes and trees while avoiding the wild saurians that were scattered around the area. 
It was also that same adrenaline that made him fail to notice the sudden absence of his triggered father. 
Only then was he forced to stop and look around. 
It wasn’t until he reached the edge of a cliff did his jittering get replaced with trembles. 
His father was at the very distant bottom, his inflamed eyes matching the color of his blood splattered around him. 
Looking back, it was the only time that Kinich almost cracked out a drop of tear. 
When he made his way down, he was no longer greeted with the enraged glare of his father. What remained of his expression was only of shock. There were no signs of regret or guilt of what he had done prior to his death. 
But Kinich can never be truly mad at his parents. 
He grew up with his father, and he was usually the one that brought home enough Mora to feed the three of them plenty.
And to add more, it started raining. 
The rain helped with washing the blood away and with imbuing the sight he was seeing. 
Kinich could only think of carrying his father’s corpse back to their house. What else can he do anyway?
If his dead body remained there, it would get washed away or land on a starving creature’s plate. 
So he decided to repay his father one last time and protected what remained of him. 
It was a tiring trek back home. 
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3) K’uhul Ajaw
Kinich has formulated this understanding that anything can be done with Mora as an exchange, no matter how risky or dangerous the commission may be.
He is willing to do any favors, be it simple or treacherous, all for the right price.
But there was a time Kinich bypassed this ethos of his.
An organization dedicated for saurian research came up to his doorstep, asking to buy this relic he found in an unearthed ruin in exchange for a sum of Mora.
There were many pros in this proposal, and merely only one con.
Kinich could live comfortably for the next few months with that amount of Mora without having to worry about receiving another commission, he could even last to about a year if he remains humble with spending.
If he gave the relic to the association, it would stop them from bothering him ever again. Kinich would go back to a life without having to confront a desperate bunch of researchers.
And to add more to that, it would get rid of this nuisance that calls itself K’uhul Ajaw from ever causing trouble for him again.
Those advantages he had listed off were nothing but tempting to Kinich, luring him into tossing that wristband into the association’s business and going off to return back to his normal life of being a lone wolf.
The only thing stopping Kinich was the thought of Ajaw going absolutely rabid without him around.
He tells himself that that was the only con there was, not because he had already formed a pact with Ajaw, but because he would get involved with threatening matters if Ajaw goes wild.
As much as he tries to stay excluded from other people’s business, Kinich was human enough to at least concern himself with this possibility.
It would be a tragedy if people from different tribes were to be a victim of someone so awful as Ajaw after all.
All it took was a glare from Kinich, saturated with enough indignation that the researchers could feel it and eventually welcome themselves out of Kinich’s door.
It wasn’t even long before Ajaw awoke that Kinich suddenly regrets his decision.
Looking back, maybe he should have given K’uhul Ajaw to the association after all.
Oh well, he figures life would be more clement with him now that he made a choice to protect Natlan from this ancient dragon, if that’s how it even works.
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4) “Uthabiti” Kachina
When Kinich first saw an enlisted job to sabotage a kid because their Wayob regarded her potential, he wondered how low those lowlifes could possibly achieve.
Ever since he saw that commission, he hasn’t paid much mind to it. The tribe leader of the Children of Echoes was a deferential man after all, he wouldn’t let a child get hurt by others simply because they were envious.
Then he saw this bullying in action.
Kinich only caught a glimpse of one final shove to the poor kid before the rowdy bunch willingly left, trailing only mocks and insults.
He eventually came to the assumption that Kachina was just selfless.
Not in the way that she would let others vent their frustration to her, but because she doesn’t want to bother the people who do care about her.
This assumption of his came into precision when he heard it from Kachina herself. She didn’t want to worry the people around her, and instead took the oppression as a means to get stronger and be more independent.
That’s what Kachina wanted, to rely on herself.
A thought came into Kinich’s mind, a rather debatable thought but, in a way, Kinich could see himself in her shoes.
Kinich grew up having to rely on himself for his own livelihood, and Kachina wants exactly that, to bring less concern to the people she doesn’t want to concern.
He had also dealt with a fair share of bullies in his childhood. Whenever they striked, Kinich never really fought back, that was another thing he and Kachina have in common, though his reasoning was far less modest than that of hers.
He knew Kachina would never fight back, and that will fuel more enragement to those haughty buffoons. 
So instead, he took it upon himself to act on her behalf.
It was one of the few situations when Kinich would throw away his preference for Mora.
This simple action of standing up against someone would have a far more personal approach for Kinich. He just wanted to do what he didn’t back then.
When doing so, a wave of satisfaction would come crashing against him at the sight of Kachina's struggling bullies.
That was it, that was his payment, to know the feeling of contentment if he did teach those bullies a free lesson.
And while at it, he protected a different version of his younger self from having more problems to deal with.
Looking back, the worst thing Kachina’s bullies had gone through was Ajaw’s nonstop degrading.
In a way, they at least had a taste of their own medicine.
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5) “Malipo” Kinich
He always had to look after himself.
He took in his mother’s nature at farming, remembering the way she neatly handled the crops and applied that to his own way of farming for his food.
Like his father, he was the one who provided Mora for himself. But unlike his father, he knows about restraint and how to spend it wisely.
He has honed his fighting capabilities enough to not make him so dependent on a vision or an enigmatic wristband.
And of course, he relies only on himself.
He relies on this grown version of him who has seen and witnessed many things as he continues to grow older, a young man who inherited the ancient name of Turnfire.
Because of this, nobody knows much about him, much less knows about the little boy that remained with him from his early childhood.
It acted as a little consciousness, one so small that he could so easily fall asleep if it ever yelled at him.
But there were some nights when he would stay up at the smallest wails of this consciousness of a little boy.
Some nights, he wonders not about what went wrong, but what could have gone right.
It was something that he shouldn’t have brought up, what use is dwelling in the what-could-have-been anyway?
He isn’t an all-knowing being to change and weave through the past, he can’t fix it, he can’t abandon it.
He isn’t entirely certain if he can make it better.
But he can salvage and protect what good was left from it.
He doesn’t want to look back or look forward, he just wants this little boy to continue existing, to continue burning longer enough to keep him warm and alive.
Because what would he be without it?
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+1) You
People usually come to Kinich whenever they want something deadly to be accomplished.
It was the usual get rid of rogues in the area, get rid of wild saurians, get rid of wandering automatons…
What they don’t come to Kinich for is when they need help to cook dinner.
You were the first to ever commission him for something so uncomplicated as this.
He had just been resting up in a tree during dusk when he felt the knocking of pebbles against the trunk. When one pebble hit him, it suddenly stopped.
When he looked down, he saw you, an apologetic gesture on you as you swiftly tossed away the remaining rocks in your hands.
Then you waved your hands to him, urging him to come down.
When he did, the first thing you greeted him with was a proposal. “Can you help me prepare dinner?”
Kinich would’ve been taken aback at the simplicity of the commission. You could probably ask that to your local elderly and they would agree with no payment required.
Then he starts thinking of another explanation, maybe you had meant gathering ingredients, or help with cooking for a large serving of people.
But he knows you, you live alone, and there weren’t currently any celebrations within the tribe that required a feast.
Was your request really that simple?
Then, you offered him a pouch of Mora.
Along the way to your house, Kinich held onto the Mora and to the silence the two of you shared. It wasn’t at all alike to the ones he shared with those unwilling of his company, this time, it was completely mutual, like there was no need for a conversation despite the odd request.
It wasn’t long before the two of you arrived at your front door, while twisting the lock with a key, you brought up a question to Kinich.
“Hey, what do you think I should eat, vegetables or meat?”
Kinich’s reply was fairly simple. “Whatever you have more ingredients of.”
He thinks his answers weren't up to your expectation when you gave him a look of discontent. “I have plenty for either,”
He wasn’t entirely sure what answer he should pick simply from this. He has an inkling suspicion that you would still feel the same if he were to pick one over the other.
“Then, both?” He was convinced that his uncertainty was obvious from his tone.
But it didn’t seem to mind you as you broke out with a satisfied smile at his answer. “Alright then. Help me gather some vegetables from the garden.”
When you led him outside, Kinich was surprised at the amount of crops you grew. The size was practically the same as he had at his place, and you even grew some that others wouldn’t typically have in their garden anymore.
Gathering farm crops with you was a quiet experience. The kind he was so familiar with as a kid that it felt like he was reliving the moments he had with his mother.
If it weren’t for the cold gusts of wind that evening, Kinich would have been fooled into thinking that he had gone back to that exact moment of his life.
He can’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something comforting about seeing another pair of hands in the corner of his eyes.
The quiet consciousness started to become a bit more audible, enough to make Kinich realize that he could start hearing the crackling of firewood.
It had been a while since the last time Kinich cooked with someone in a homey kitchen before.
The last he could remember was with Elder Leik, and that had been years ago when he was still a young teenager.
This time, instead of his elderly hands, it was yours that occupied the busy counter beside him. The sound of sliced ingredients dropping down onto the simmering water filled the area of what would have been just him.
The moment he stopped working the knives through the vegetables, his eyes would find their way to you, beside him. 
Completely mindful of your own business, humming a catchy tune as you gently mixed the ingredients in the pot. He was sure he had heard of that tune before.
Probably during one of the rare moments when his mother would break the silence between them, emerging with a simple, yet unforgettable melody.
Yes, that was probably it, his little consciousness confirms it to be so.
Like another piece of firewood had just been tossed in, the air around him started to become warmer than usual.
When the food had been served on your dinner table, Kinich figured he had finished his job.
“Where are you going?” He was about to leave the house.
“I helped you prepare dinner, my job is finished.” At this, your head seemed to have been afloat in the air for a while.
You then cracked into a small laughter. “Ah, right, I did say that.”
With that, you left the table and disappeared into some room within the house.
Kinich was about to use this time to leave the place, as he was about to put a glove back on, he felt a tap on his shoulder.
Turning around, he sees you, holding another pouch of Mora in your hands. “Can you help me finish all this food?”
It was purely instinct at how his hand already accepted the payment before even processing what you had meant.
But just like how you are, you don’t further explain as to why, simply walking back to the table and taking a seat. Kinich noticed another plate laid out beside you, like you had intended for him to eat with you.
Well, an odd request still serves the same as a normal one.
So he walks back to the table, taking a seat and grabbing a humble serving of food.
The first bite of the meat stew felt weird.
It tasted different, different than how he would usually do it at least. 
You cooked this, it was a subtle reminder that other people have their own preference when measuring their seasonings and what they put in the dish.
It was a simple reminder that he didn’t cook this by himself, someone was there with him.
The more spoonful he ate, the more fuel was fed to the fire of his little consciousness.
It had been a while since he had dinner with someone with such normal circumstances. 
He realizes all of this was part of the what-could-have-beens that slipped into his mind during one late night.
He could have experienced gathering crops until late at night with his mother, hearing her hum a quiet melody while they cooked, and sitting around the dinner table along with his father… It could have been those.
But what’s the use of residing in it? He already made up his mind to not look back.
“Hm? Something wrong?” Your voice suddenly became more distinct in Kinich’s thoughts. “Oh no, were the seasonings a bit off?”
Without having answered, Kinich diverts his eyes to the nervous fidgeting of your hands. The same pair he saw in the corner of his eyes when cooking and gathering ingredients.
The same pair that have unknowingly hovered over his little consciousness’s fire, feeding it more and more kindlings to make its voice more evident.
It was strange, somehow he felt like the little boy left of him had just been preserved—protected even. 
Like how a pair of hands would wrap around the faintest of flames to keep it burning, to keep it hidden from the harsh winds but still not so much that it would be forgotten.
Just enough to know that it’s still there.
Don’t look back, but don’t forget either.
Kinich then answers you. “It’s sweeter than what I usually have.”
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rimi’s notes
can I just say how bad I felt when reading his story bro like what the fuck
but I hope yall enjoy cuz I definitely did when writing this lowkey
hearts / reblogs / follows are very much appreciated !
1K notes · View notes
serpentandlily · 10 months
Text
No Going Back - Azriel x Reader
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No Going Back - Azriel x Cassian’sSister!Reader
Summary: Azriel has been your mate, your husband, your love for centuries. But a certain Archeron sister has him questioning your relationship after all this time. You soon find out that there are simply things that can not be unsaid or undone. And sometimes, there are things you can’t come back from.
Warnings: angst angst angst and a little violence
A/n: based on this request. this one hurt guys :(
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Azriel was late. 
Again.
You sighed, leaning back in your chair and tossing your napkin on the table. You had waited for him but at this point, the food was cold and your appetite had disappeared so you began to clear the table instead. 
It had been like this ever since the Archeron sisters had become permanent residents of the Night Court. For months now, your mate had been coming home late, skipping breakfast, leaving the bed before you even woke. He had become a scarce presence in this apartment, the one of the two of you had bought together years and years ago.
Tonight was no different. 
It had started out slow, innocent. Feyre’s sisters were having a hard time adjusting to their new lives and Elain had started clinging to Azriel at some point. You understood why. He was someone who wouldn’t push you more than you needed and would be there for you as a quiet, steady presence. 
You hadn’t minded it at first. Elain was clearly struggling a lot. But at some point, Azriel had begun to prioritize her over you. Whatever Elain needed always came first now. He had canceled dates, skipped out on dinners, left parties early—all for her. 
And it was starting to hurt.
You weren’t stupid nor naive. You knew what was happening. You were watching your mate slowly fall in love with someone else. 
Azriel had always liked playing the hero. First he was the hero for Mor, saving her when she had been discarded in Autumn, beaten and nearly dead. 
And then he was the hero for you. 
You were a bastard born Illyrian, ripped from their mother’s side as soon as you were able to complete chores on your own. You hadn’t known your father. Hadn’t even known you had a brother until he came storming the camp one day, looking for your mother. 
Cassian had almost killed you during his fit of rage once he had learned what your camp had done to your mother. He had gone on a killing spree, sparing no one until he came upon you. But he recognized your scent, took one look at you and immediately knew who you were in relation to him. 
You were only nine when he had saved you from that camp. Cassian took you that day and brought you home with him. Rhys’s mother took you in with no question but Cassian had practically raised you.
You had met Azriel and Rhysand that day as well but you had no idea what the shadowsinger was to you until years and years later. 
Once Rhysand was in power, he banned wing clipping. It pissed the Illyrian males off, of course, which led to them kidnapping you to try and clip your wings as a message for the High Lord, knowing Rhysand cared about you as much as he had cared for his own sister.
Their plan was to keep you locked up until they could get a hold of your brother, Cassian, to tie him up and make him watch what they would do to you. You were beaten within an inch of your life and kept in a cell for three days before Azriel rescued you.
You still remember the image of him stalking into your cell, his eyes lit with a feral rage. He looked like a dark Angel straight from Hell. The minute his gaze found yours, the mating bond snapped into place. 
Azriel saved you and your wings that day. And afterwards, he sat by your bedside night and day until you were fully healed. He held you through all the nightmares, waited patiently for you to be ready to accept the mating bond. And then he had trained you into a fortified spy and warrior, an equal. 
But none of that mattered now.
None of that mattered because now there was a new damsel that needed saving.
And it wasn't you.
Not anymore.
You pulled out your weapons bag from the closet and began to lay out your daggers and swords on the dining table. You had devised a plan to make Azriel feel more needed in your relationship because maybe that was what was lacking. At least, you hoped that's all this was. You hoped he wasn't truly falling in love with another female. 
Rhys had given you a job today that was supposed to be for both you and Azriel, but you were going to ask for his help—make him feel like you need him and hopefully that would make him come back to you. 
An hour later, you heard the front door open and close before his scent of cedar and night-chilled mist filled the apartment. You smiled, turning around to greet him. He gave you a half-smile in response. 
You stood on your tippy toes to kiss him as he passed by, but he swerved his head to the side, making your kiss land on his cheek instead. Your heart clenched as he walked away. 
"You're finally home," you said, trying to not let the hurt you felt seep into your tone. "I saved you some dinner if you're hungry."
He shook his head, sitting on the couch to unlace his boots. 
"That's alright. I already ate," he replied, barely looking at you.
Your fingers tightened around the dagger in your hand. Elain had cooked him dinner again, that much was obvious. Your smile dropped as the scent of jasmine and honey met your nose, only confirming your suspicions. 
Azriel strode to you now, looking over your shoulder at all the weapons on the table. 
"What's this?" 
"Rhys gave me a mission—some spy work in Hewn City," you said. "I was going to leave to complete it tomorrow but I was hoping you'd come with me. I could use the help." 
Azriel snorted. "When was the last time you needed help?”
You frowned as he breezed by you, heading towards the stairs that led to the loft where your bedroom was. "It's a high value, dangerous target. I guess I could do it alone but I would feel better if you were there with me."
"I can't, Y/n," he said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to look at you. "I'm sorry. I already made plans with Elain."
Your heart dropped to your stomach. Here he was, once again picking Elain over you.
"Really? And you can't cancel those plans just for the day? I really need your help, Az."
"You don't," he said. "I trained you, babe. I know you don't need my help anymore." 
"Well maybe I just need you. It's that so bad? Maybe I just want to do this with you."
"I'm sorry, but Elain needs me."
You threw your hands in the air, your cheeks turning red. "What does Elain need that is so important that you can't reschedule it for a different day?" 
"She wants to go into the city. Wants to see more of Velaris. It's a huge step for her, Y/n. One she needs me for."
"And Feyre can't take her? Or Nesta? She has two sisters who are perfectly capable of showing her around Velaris."
"Well, she asked me," Azriel sighed. "And I already agreed."
"Why is it that you can bail on me all the time, miss dinners with me, skip out on our dates," you growled. "But the moment it comes to Elain, you won't even bother rescheduling a simple outing?"
Azriel narrowed his eyes at you and crossed his arms over his chest. "What exactly are you insinuating, Y/n?"
Your heart was pounding, a sick feeling in your stomach. How could he not see? How could he not see how much he was choosing her over you, his own mate?
"I'm just saying that you've been spending a lot of time with Elain," you argued. "I hardly see you anymore, Az. I just want my mate back." 
"Well, you're not the one who needs me right now, Y/n. You're not the one who's gone through immeasurable trauma. You're not the one who just barely stopped starving yourself. Elain needs help right now. Am I supposed to just turn my back on her after everything she's been through?"
You wanted to laugh. You would've if you weren't so upset. Elain wasn't the only person in Prythian to go through trauma. All of you had gone through so much. For him to disregard you like that… after everything… you felt your heart cracking into pieces. 
"She has her sisters to help her! Even Nuala and Cerridwen have been helping her adjust to life here! Why does she need you as well?"
"I can't believe you're acting like this," Azriel snarled. "I'm tired, Y/n. I don’t want to do this right now.”
"Acting like what? Acting upset because my mate is prioritizing someone else? Upset that my mate is barely home these days? Upset that my mate has been spending all his time with another female? How would you feel? How would you feel if I started spending all my time with another male, Azriel? How would you feel waking up to an empty bed, eating dinner alone while I was out with another guy?"
"It's not like that and you know it! Don't make this about you, Y/n. I thought you were better than that."
"Are you serious, Az? I have been nothing but patient and kind. I have given you so much grace. I have had to sit back and watch my mate cater to another female for months now. Months! And I only ask for one day. For you to come with me for one job and you can't even do that?" 
"Well, you can wait a little longer," Azriel said, his face cut from stone. "She needs me right now. Me. Not Feyre. Not Nesta. Not Nuala and Cerridwen. Me."
"What about her own godsdamn mate!"
"She doesn't want him and she owes him nothing. She doesn't want his help,” Azriel growled. You didn’t miss the flash of jealousy in his eyes that made your stomach twist.
"Of course she doesnt. Why would she when she can just use my mate instead? I can't believe you're picking her over me, Azriel."
"I'm not picking her over you! And I wouldn't."
"You already have! Each and every day you choose her over me. Why? Please, Azriel, explain it to me because I don't understand!"
"I already told you," Azriel growled. "She is going through a lot at the moment. You don't need me right now but she does."
"I don't care what she needs! I don't care! I'm tired of pretending like this doesn't bother me. She clearly has feelings for you and instead of discouraging her, instead of distancing yourself, you just keep running back to her! Why? You owe me an answer, Azriel!"
"I already told—”
"The truth, Azriel! Give me the fucking truth."
"Fine," Azriel snarled, his eyes going dark, his face as cold as the winter snow outside. 
The room was silent for a moment. Silent except for your heavy breathing, your heart still echoing in your chest. You felt like you were going to be sick. You hadn't expected to blow up like this but you couldn't take it anymore. 
Finally Azriel let out a sigh, deflating a bit. "I've been spending some time thinking… of us, of our family, of everything and I can't help… I can't help but think maybe the cauldron got things wrong. It doesn't make sense. Three sisters, three brothers. My brothers got two of the sisters but the other one is given to another? I can't help but question everything, Y/n. You have to understand. You know the cauldron doesn't always get things right… maybe it got this wrong."
With every word he spoke, your heart cracked more and more. You blinked in disbelief, staring at the male that you had called your love for over two hundred years now. A male you had built your life with, a male you were connected to in a very primal sense of the word. A male you had expected to be with forever.
And here he was, telling you he thinks the cauldron was wrong in making the two of you mates. Telling you that he thinks some other female should be his mate. He might as well stick a dagger straight through your heart. You were certain that would be less painful than this.
Gods, your ears were ringing. Tears lined your eyes. All of your paranoia the last few months, your feelings of inadequacy every time you saw Elain, the female he was spending all this time with over you, all of it was true. He had been falling in love with another girl… right in front of you and your family. 
"Say something," Azriel murmured. "Please."
You blinked, hugging yourself as his words replayed in your mind over and over again.
"Is that… Is that how you truly feel? Would you really rather have Elain as a mate? You think we shouldn't have been mated… that the cauldron made a mistake?"
"Fuck, I don't know! I don't know, Y/n. All I know is that my two brothers are mated to two sisters and the third… Elain.... I can't help but wonder if we would be better suited together. I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to understand how it looks from my perspective. Please."
You shook your head, backing up. 
"So that's what you've been doing? Testing the waters? Seeing if she would be a better wife to you, a better partner?"
"No, fuck, this is coming out all wrong," Azriel groaned. "It didn't start out that way, please believe me, Y/n. I never intended on developing feelings for her. It just sort of happened naturally and I… I've just been trying to wrap my head around it all."
You couldn't breath, couldn't think.
Your mate, your husband, your one true love had fallen for another girl. Believed that he should be mated to her instead of you. 
Were you not good enough for him? Not pretty enough? Not powerful enough? What did Elain have that you didn’t?
"So you think that you and Elain should be mates. Your brothers got mated to two beautiful high fae females, and you… you're the one struck with some lowly Illyrian and not the other beautiful sister. So it must be a mistake, right?"
"Don't turn it into that, Y/n. Don't diminish it," Azriel snapped. "It has nothing to do with your looks or who is more beautiful or High Fae. I could care less about that shit."
"But it does, doesn't it? You already think you're so unworthy and this just proves it. To be mated to an Illyrian and not the third made sister."
"I knew I should've never talked to you about this," Azriel growled. "I was trying to figure it out on my own. I didn't want to hurt you, Y/n. I didn't want this to happen."
"Well it has and you did," you snapped. 
He had hurt you. Immensely so. 
Tears began to drip down your cheeks. Azriel took a step towards you at the sight of your tears but stopped himself. Your chest heaved as you turned around, staring out the window in your apartment to Velaris, where people were laughing and dancing on the streets. Partying, having the time of their lives, while yours was ending.
"Y/n—"
“Have you slept with her? Kissed her? Have you cheated on me with Elain?”
“I-I…Y/n, I’m sorry. Please—”
That was enough of an answer for you. You couldn’t even fathom the thought of kissing another male and here was Azriel, basically confessing that he fucked Elain behind your back.
You wanted to scream. Wanted to throw things at him. Wanted to tear this whole apartment down. 
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out," you snapped. "Get out!"
You heard a resigned sigh before the front door opened and closed. He hadn't even tried to fight for you. Hadn't tried to make things better. He just left… left you falling apart, with no one to pick up the pieces of your breaking heart.
A sob finally broke out from your lips and you crumbled to the floor, crying your heart out. 
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You lingered in the shadows in the alleyway across from the illustrious bar in Hewn City. Your target had gone inside over an hour ago and you were waiting for him to leave so you could trail him back to his apartment. 
You knew you shouldn’t be here right now. You were being reckless. Your mind was still a mess from last night, your heart broken. Every breath came with a deep pain in your chest. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cry and cry… but you were hoping this would distract you from the pain Azriel had left you with.
You had tried tugging on the bond a little earlier but you were met with an obsidian wall. Azriel had completely closed you off and you knew that meant he was with Elain, pretending to be her mate instead of yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, your breath trembling as a few tears slid down your cheeks. Was he fucking her right now? Bringing her flowers and kissing her the way he used to with you?
Why weren’t you enough for him? Why weren’t you the female he wanted? The cauldron had gifted the two of you a mating bond and still it wasn’t enough to make him want you apparently.
The door to the bar swinging open had you standing up straight. A handsome High Fae male walked out from it and your eyes narrowed on your target. You slinked away in the shadows, following him down the streets.
He turned a corner and you rushed to follow, twisting to face the dark alleyway only to see it empty. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you walked down the narrow path.
You were halfway down the dark alleyway when you felt the cold tip of a dagger press against your throat. It pricked your skin, causing blood to trickle down your neck.
“Well what do we have here? A little Illyrian female, all by herself,” his voice purred from behind you. “Did you think I didn’t notice you following me, little bird?”
He spun you around, pressing you back against the wall, dagger still at your throat.
You tried to use your magic but your siphons sputtered out. It took you a minute to realize that his dagger was coated in faebane. You let out a panicked cry, trying to kick him away but he only pressed his body further against you. 
You were so fucked. You tried to tug on the mating bond again, if only to reach Azriel so he could send help. But that obsidian wall was still there. 
“I know who you are,” the male murmured. “That bastard’s sister. The shadowsinger’s mate.”
“Let me go,” you snarled, trying to twist from his grip but he pressed his dagger against your neck harder, making you stop.
“I don’t think so,” he teased, smiling. “You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, sweetheart.” 
He spun you around again, pressing your face into the brick wall. You cried as you felt his dagger run down your wing.
You tugged and tugged on the mating bond. Only silence greeted you. 
“But first, I think you’d look so much prettier without these.”
You died at the first drag of his dagger down the base of your wing. Died as he dug that dagger into the tendon, ripping up the nerves and muscle. Died as he severed off your left wing before moving to your right. Died as excruciating pain rattled your entire body.
Died as you cried out for your mate, for your brother, for anyone to come save you as the male laughed at your pleas.
Died as you tugged and tugged on your mating bond, crying and pleading for Azriel over and over again only to be met with cold, bitter silence. 
You died in that alleyway before your heart had even stopped beating.
────────────
Azriel grabbed the plate of brussel sprouts from Elain, nudging the kitchen door open with his shoulder, and walking into the dining room. He placed the plate on the dining table, smiling at Elain lightly as she followed him with a large bowl of mashed potatoes.
Rhysand, Feyre, Amren, Cassian and Nesta were already at the table, waiting. He took a seat next to Elain and Rhysand shot him a confused look. 
“Az, where’s Y/n?” 
Azriel shrugged. “Still on the mission you sent her on.”
“What?”
“The job in Hewn City?”
Rhysand looked even more confused. “Why aren’t you with her? I specifically told her not to go alone–to take you with her. This was a two person job.”
“She didn’t tell me that,” Azriel said, also confused.
“Wait, what’s going on?” Cassian asked. 
“I gave your sister a report about some happenings in Hewn City that I needed her and Azriel to check out. But I made it very clear that it was a job with a dangerous target. What did she say to you about it, Azriel?”
Azriel felt his face heat up as all the attention fell on him. “She asked me to go with her but I was meant to take Elain into the city today so I told her I couldn’t. She never told me that you ordered her to take me with her.” 
Rhysand cursed, standing up. Cassian jolted at Rhysand’s reaction, also standing up in a panic. 
“She asked you to go and you told her no?” Cassian asked, his voice darker now as he stared at his sister’s mate. “Why the fuck would you let her go alone if she asked you for help?”
“I didn’t think she would need help,” Azriel said, carefully, also rising from his seat. “She didn’t tell me that Rhys said it was dangerous!”
“She shouldn’t need to! My sister asked you for your help, your mate asked you for help, and you told her no? Why the fuck would you do that?”
“Elain needed help,” Azriel argued back. 
Elain’s cheeks turned red as the attention drifted to her for a second. “I just wanted to see more of the city. I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you ask one of us to take her?” Feyre questioned, staring at Azriel with an odd look. “I could’ve or Nesta.” 
Elain turned even more red, pressing her lips together. Amren’s eyes darted between the pair, narrowing. 
“You’ve both been messing around behind Y/n’s back, haven’t you?” Amren had always been too observant. 
“What?” Cassian exclaimed, his face darkening. “That’s not true, Azriel? Right? He wouldn’t do that to his mate. He wouldn’t do that to Y/n.”
Azriel said nothing, shame pouring down on him. But he didn’t have to. Dark talons ripped open his mental shield, sorting through his mind.
“Get the fuck out of my head, Rhysand,” Azriel snarled, baring his teeth. 
Rhysand had seen enough, his face paling as he stared at Azriel with wide eyes. Cassian’s face dropped.
“What did you see, Rhys?” He asked.
“Amren’s right,” Rhys barely choked out. “Azriel… how could you? Y/n is your mate.”
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Cassian roared, hopping over the dining table to tackle Azriel to the floor. Elain screamed, barely making it out of range as the two males fell to the floor. He only managed to land a punch before Rhysand pulled him away. 
“We can’t do this right now,” Rhysand growled. “We need to find Y/n. She shouldn’t be in Hewn City alone. I’ve been trying to reach her but I can’t sense her.”
“What do you mean you can’t sense her?” Cassian was more panicked now. 
“Are you sure she went to Hewn City today, Azriel? I should be able to reach her from this distance.”
“I’m not sure, I assumed.”
“What the fuck do you mean you’re not sure?” Cassian glared at him, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Azriel had the good sense to look away, rubbing the back of his neck. “We had a bit of an argument last night. She kicked me out so I was giving her space. When I went back this morning, she was already gone.”
“Why didn’t you go after her? Why were you guys fighting?” Feyre asked. 
“She figured it out, didn’t she?” Amren interjected again. “She found out about you and Elain.”
Cassian let out a curse. “Fuck! Find out where my sister is, Azriel, or I swear to the Gods I will fucking end you.”
“Cassian,” Nesta chastised, placing a hand on his arm to calm him down. But he shrugged her hand off, too angry at the fact that his friend had hurt his sister so badly. 
Azriel didn’t need to be told. He was also panicking now, wondering why you hadn’t told him that he was supposed to go with you today. He would question it later, for now he just wanted to find you. He opened his end of the mating bond back up, feeling guilty that he had kept you closed off all day.
He gasped, folding over, as a wave of your emotions crashed into him. 
Fear. 
You were sending pure fear down the bond. 
“What? What is it?!”
Cassian grabbed Azriel by the upper arms. Azriel ignored him, tugging on the bond, hoping you would respond but nothing. Nothing but fear and pain traveled back to him. His shadows exploded around him, wailing in agony.
“She… She’s in danger,” Azriel gasped. “I need to go. I need to—”
He didn’t say anything else before he disappeared in a swirl of shadows. He stepped out into Hewn City, racing down the streets, trying to follow the mating bond to you. He heard Rhysand winnow in behind him with Cassian but he didn’t pause.
He shouted your name as he ran, pushing faeries out of the way, trampling through stalls. Rhysand and Cassian were right behind him. He ran and ran into the even shadier parts of the city, until it led him to a dark alleyway.
He paused as he scented blood. A small figure was curled up on the floor, in a pool of blood. No one else in sight. He rushed forward, screaming your name in terror as he realized it was you lying in a pool of your own blood.
He skidded to a halt, falling to his knees next to you. He let out a cry and pulled you into his lap. Your wings. Your wings were gone. Your back was covered in deep wounds, your heartbeat so faint he almost couldn’t hear it. He let out a wail, shaking your limp body in his arms.
“No,” he cried. “No no no no no.” 
He patted your cheek. “Wake up, baby. Please, wake up!”
Your eyes remained closed, your body still limp.
He heard Rhysand and Cassian come to a stop behind him, panting. Cassian let out a noise of horror at the sight of his wingless sister, turning around to vomit against the wall. Rhysand cursed, kneeling next to Azriel.
Azriel growled at him, yanking your body closer to his chest.
“Azriel,” Rhysand said, softly. “We need to get her back to Velaris. She needs a healer, now, before she bleeds out.”
Azriel let out a cry, standing up and hoisting you into his arms. Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel and Cassian, winnowing them back to the River House. Azriel brushed past the group waiting in the foyer, ignoring their cries of alarm as he rushed into one of the bedrooms and placed your body on the bed.
He knelt down next to you, grabbing your hand as tears poured down his face. Your breaths were growing thinner, your heartbeat fading. He could feel the mating bond slowly tearing itself apart.
“Don’t do this,” he cried. “Please, Y/n, you can’t do this to me. You can’t die. You don’t get to do this. Not like this. Please.”
Cassian burst into the room, Madja right behind him. The older female let out a long breath at the sight of you on the bed and immediately got to work. Cassian ripped Azriel away from you, tossing him on the ground.
“Please,” Azriel begged Madja. “Please don’t let her die. Please.”
“She’s not going to die,” Madja proclaimed. “Not on my watch. But you all need to get out of my way. Send one of my healers in here to assist me.”
It took both Cassian and Rhysand to drag Azriel out of the room and away from his heavily injured mate. They had barely made it back to the living room when he was suddenly slammed against the wall.
Cassian’s fist met his jaw and he felt blood pool in his mouth. Cassian punched him again and again, crashing to the floor with him as Azriel’s legs gave out. 
“You fucking prick,” Cassian shouted. “You were supposed to be there with her and you let her go alone! You did this! This is your fault!”
Feyre was sobbing in the background, being held back by Rhysand who knew better than to get in between two Illyrian’s fighting. Elain, on the other hand, rushed forward.
“Azriel!”
But Nesta grabbed her before she could get any farther. Her face paled as Cassian growled at her. “I’ll deal with you later.”
Elain let out a noise of distress, looking at Nesta but Nesta just pressed her lips together and looked away, disappointed.
Cassian focused his attention back on Azriel. He pummeled him, shouting and screaming. They were both crying, a mess of blood and tears. 
“You are her mate! You were supposed to protect her! And you failed–You failed her!”
Azriel barely fought back. He let Cassian beat him up knowing he deserved it.
Rhysand finally placed a hand on Cassian’s shoulder. “Enough.”
Cassian paused, still crouched over Azriel. He grabbed the shadowsinger by the collar before slamming his head back on the ground and leaning in close to snarl in his ear.
“I will never forgive you for this. Never.” 
Rhysand grabbed him by the back of his shirt, lifting him off of Azriel. 
“Cassian, your sister needs you right now,” Rhys murmured. “She’s more important.” 
“If I see his face again, I will kill him, Rhys,” Cassian snarled at his High Lord. “I swear to the Gods I will.” 
“I know,” Rhys whispered with his own despair. He knew this was the last time he’d see Azriel and Cassian together. Knew his family was about to be torn apart for the first time in centuries. “I know.”
Cassian spit out blood on Azriel before storming away, back to the room where his sister lay unconscious. Azriel sat up slowly, pushing himself back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chest. He hung his head between his knees, tears dropping onto the wooden floor.
Rhysand knelt down next to him. “Azriel, what the fuck? Why would you… what have you done?”
“I fucked up, Rhys,” Azriel muttered. “I fucked up.” 
────────────
You woke up days later. You immediately felt the absence of your wings. You groaned, trying to sit up and failing. A glass shattered against the floor and you looked up to see Azriel hovering in the doorway.
“You’re awake. Don’t… don’t try to move,” he breathed out, rushing forward. He knelt down next to the bed, grabbing your hand as tears formed in his eyes. “You’re awake.”
You pulled your hand away from him. He was the last person you wanted to see right now. It hurt just to see his face, his words were constantly replaying in your head along with the image of him and Elain together. The last thing you remembered was trying to call for help down the mating bond and being met with silence. 
“My wings are gone,” you whispered, more to yourself than anything. Your voice was hoarse, raspy from disuse. “My wings…”
“I know. I know and I’m so sorry, Y/n. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Azriel pleaded. “Gods, I am so fucking sorry, baby. For everything. For everything I said to you. For what I’ve done. For closing off the mating bond. For not going with you to Hewn City. I am so sorry.”
You said nothing. Just stared at him. What could you say? He had cheated on you, closed you off, left you alone. You had lost your wings because of him.
“Baby, please, say something.”
“I want Cassian,” you whispered. “I want my brother.” 
“I know, just please,” Azriel cried. “Please, just talk to me. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. I will do anything for your forgiveness. I will do anything to fix this.”
“Cassian,” you murmured again. “I want Cassian!”
“I know, I know,” Azriel said. “Just please tell me what I can do to fix this. I will do anything. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I regret it so much. I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you. I’m so sorry. Please just tell me we can fix this.”
You choked on a sob, turning over so you didn’t have to look at him anymore. 
“I can’t unhear your words, Azriel. I can’t forget how you betrayed me,” you cried. “And I will never be able to forget how I cried for help and you closed me off. There are some things you just can’t unsay or undo. There is no going back from this.” 
“Please,” Azriel’s voice was full of sadness and regret but all you could feel was the pain he had caused you. “That can’t be true.”
“Please, leave,” you whispered, your tears sliding off onto your pillow. “Please.” 
“I can’t, Y/n. I can’t leave you. Not like this. I love you.”
“No, you don’t,” You said, softly. “We both know you don’t. I know who you love and it isn’t me, Azriel. Now please, leave. I’m begging you. There is no going back. There is no future for us after this. Please, just leave.” 
Silence so loud, it felt like the air was screaming. There was no denying your words. Azriel might regret what he did, but it didn’t change the fact that he did it. Those words had come from his mouth. He had made a choice when he decided to fuck Elain behind your back. He didn’t want you as his mate anymore.
Maybe he never did. 
You heard Azriel sigh and stand, his footsteps retreating. The door opening and closing was both your relief and your undoing. 
4K notes · View notes
gghostwriter · 1 month
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Hey, how you doing? So I was wondering if you could write a one-shot where Y/N visits Spencer in prison and just like how when JJ visited him, Spencer doesn’t like the way the inmates are looking at Y/N, and when he gets back to his cell or when he is in the prison yard, he hears inmates talking about Y/N and gets protective. Saying stuff like “don’t talk about her like that, you don’t get to talk about her” or something similar.
I am unsure if there is a fanfic like this so just in case, I am asking ☺️
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Established Relationship; Protective!Spencer Word Count: 0.8k A/N: apologies that this took a while. I was feeling very hyper-critical and unsatisfied with anything I wrote so this collected dust in my drafts a bit—still do feel it if I’m being honest but I felt the motivation to revisit my rough draft and make some changes before posting. I hope you like it! Main masterlist
His. // Spencer Reid
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Spencer hasn’t felt himself ever since his capture. If he was being honest, his descend to rock bottom started even before then but that wasn’t the point. No, the point was the accumulation of his lack of sleep in his single cell—only an hour at most, the constant alertness from keeping his identity as a fed hidden—his fashioned shiv always an inch away from reach, and the group shared meals—never knowing what other contaminants it has, all made him feel one step away from snapping. He was teetering on the edge of lashing out and like the unsubs that he used to profile in black and white typing, he only needed one stressor before all hell broke loose.
And that stressor was you. 
Visitation hours were always bittersweet. It soothed his soul to see your expressive eyes and beautiful face but dread always came after, knowing the minutes were counting down before you and him had to separate. He had always hated the idea of separation, hated not seeing you wholly and safe.
During the past cases, the bodies of each victim somehow always reminded him of you and here, locked in the confines with other criminals, made his hyper-vigilance of protecting you increase by a hundred. 
“Love, you don’t have to come visit me,” he suggested as the jeers from the other inmates about your looks echoed on the walls. Each whistle and vulgar mention of how your looks get their gears revving was a chip in his knightly armor and although he could see you trying to pay it no attention, it soothe no pain that he was the reason why you were exposed to all this sexualization.
“It’s fine, Spence. I can handle it as long as I get to see you,” you defended. “I miss you.” 
“I miss you too,” the corners of his mouth lifting to a small smile. Four simple words that didn’t fully express the ache echoing in his chest. He could read in several languages but none of them could fully explain the loss that reverberates in him when it’s time to part ways.
You picked on the loose threading of his cardigan adorning your body. “I’ve been visiting your mom. She asks about you a lot. How you’re doing, how you’re being treated and uh—” your lips quivered from emotion “—she misses you too.” 
“Thank you for seeing her. Can you tell her I’m doing fine? I don’t want her to worry too much about me,” he uttered a lie. He wasn’t doing great and you could see that but having been together for so long, you understood the reasoning behind the fib without needing any explanation.
I’d like to get a piece of that, huh. Another crude sentence about you reached his ears causing him to snap his neck to the side and clench his jaw. With all of his vast intellect, Spencer never did understand the psychology behind men catcalling as a form of flirtation and expecting the recipient to react positively. But then again, men who perpetuate this behavior were more of animals in his eyes. Plebeian in thought and unappealing in form.
Maybe there was something in the stale air of prison that made him his hackles rise or maybe it was just his biological imperative to protect what was his. Either reason, he felt himself snap the next day during yard hour when a duo of inmates sat beside him to slobber about your beauty and body.
“Hey Twig, was that your girl the other day? That pretty young thing?” The one with the neck tattoo taunted. “Tell me, does she taste as sweet as she looks?” 
His bald headed partner sneered. “Man, I don’t think he can get her off, probably doesn’t even know how she sounds like in bed. With how skinny he is, bet he’s also pencil—”
“Have some respect. You don’t get to talk about her like that.” Spencer snarled out. He felt like an animal about to escape from his cage—gone was the logical ex-FBI agent and all that remained was a convicted, highly intelligent felon no longer afraid of committing a crime. Additional blood coating his shackled hands was nothing if done in your name.
They both snickered. “And what you going to do about it, huh?” 
He ground his teeth, saying nothing. Spencer knew the statistics of him winning in a fight specially 2 vs 1 was slim to none so he catalogued their faces and numbers in his vast mind and bid his time like a snake lying in the wait for his prey to settle in faux comfort.
“Thought so. C’mon man,” the one with the neck tattoo patted his back and started to stand with his partner. “I’lll see your girl in my fantasies tonight, Twig.” 
But before they were out of earshot, he turned and called back a warning—his last mercy before the execution. “You’re going to regret it.” 
They both hooted in laughter, unaware that Spencer makes good on his promises—threats really, anything to protect his girl.
And when he poisoned a group of inmates who were smuggling drugs inside the jail, he made sure that all those men who jeered sexual innuendos at you, counting in the two who confronted him in the yard, were included. His methods cold, detached, and impersonal—something he learned from the killers he had spent half of his life profiling.
There were whispers, of course, who caused the contamination. He wasn’t deaf. He knew it was what labelled him as a danger and almost untouchable in prison. An emerging alpha in this testosterone filled animal kingdom. The same status that extend to you, his chosen queen.
And so during your next visit when no cat calls reached your ears, you innocently asked about it and he just shrugged like it was no big deal. He didn’t want to taint your mirage of him any more than his stint in prison had done. You were his to protect, his to care for, and his to love.
To put it simply, you were his.
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smutoperator · 3 months
Text
I Love Her Smile
Kim Jiwon (Jeewon) x Male Reader
Tags: ass eating, belly bulging, big tits worship, bikini, bouncy boobs, creampie, cup, cute smile, deepthroating, (lots of) facefucking, motorboating, pile driver, queefing, riding, titfucking, spit, vibrator
Word count: 3739
After filming the music video for Cignature's latest comeback, Jeewon seemed tired. Being the milking cow of a small company while carrying such a heavy load can be quite burdensome. But even after such an exausting routine, she managed to always smile.
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You met Jeewon after the filming, asking her about how she felt. "I'm good, but a little tired; how about you?" she asked. "I'm fine; better now with you. I love your smile, Jeewon," you replied.
"I wasn't born yesterday; I know what you mean by that," Jeewon said. "Well, you're such a tease I had to notice," you said back. "Indeed, I live off that," she continued.
"Then stand up and show me what you mean by that," you told her. Jeewon understood the assignment, shaking her body left and right and making her beautiful milkers swing. "Perfect, they are so beautiful," you told her. Indeed, Jeewon's massive tits never ceased to amaze you, no matter how often you had seen them. That outfit they gave her for the video made Jeewon look sexier than ever, and you were enjoying it to the fullest.
"Shake them harder, tease me," you ordered to Jeewon, who obliged. Her small bra could barely hold her fully natural 34 double-D cup tits in place, and that got truer with all her shaking. Jeewon felt her nipples start to slip and tried to cover them as an instant reaction, but it was futile.
Jeewon laughed and bounced her boobs up and down. Her bra wasn't enough to hold them in place for long, with her right tits popping up first. She kept shaking them until they were on full display. "Good girl, that's what I'm talking about," you told her.
"That was fun," Jeewon smirked at you. "Keep teasing me; put your bra back and flash them," you told her, who does that before letting them fully free. "I could do this all day for you," she said. "But weren't you tired?" you asked her. "Yeah, but I love the attention you give to my tits," she said.
"Well, you're such a cute, sexy girl, Jeewon. I'll give you all the attention; better if you take those jeans off," you tell her. "Sure," she says, pulling her pants down and showing the lower part of her bikini. "It's all for you; we didn't film it in the music video because it hardly covers anything," she said.
"If it barely covers anything, you should just pull them to the side," you told Jeewon, who quickly followed, spreading her ass cheeks for you to see her holes. "We're just getting started," she said. "Indeed we are; take those panties off next," you ordered. "Hmmm nice, your ass is winking already; I can't wait to put my tongue in there," you told her.
"You're such a naughty boy," Jeewon told you. "Yes, I am," you said back. "You told me you were tired; you should sit on this chair and let me please you," you continued. "Of course," she said.
Jeewon sat on the char as you started massaging her bare boobs, then kissed them and licked her nipples. Alternating between the boobs, your tongue perfectly worshipped them. "Shake them into my face," you asked. Jeewon grabbed her udders close together, and you started motorboating her, much to her enjoyment. 
"Lube your tiddies," you told Jeewon, giving her a bottle to pour the liquid all over it. "Shake them for me, my baby," you said. Her lubed tits made for a much easier massage, as you quickly took advantage and easily slid your hands back into Jeewon's udders, clapping them against each other and enjoying the sound.
"Everything is better with lube," Jeewon says. "You know what's better? Your tits shaking in my face," you replied, starting another round of motorboating, this time with Jeewon going much faster. After she was done, you groped one of her tits while sucking the other like a needy baby.
"You like that, don't you?" you asked her. "Yes, I love it," Jeewon said, showing you her big, btight smile. "Shake them harder in my face," you told her. Jeewon amplified the intensity as your head was hit left and right by her huge milkers, and you loved it. So did Jeewon, who couldn't stop laughing.
"Hmmm, how much of those tiddies can I fit in my mouth?" you asked her, bringing them together and getting your face buried deep in her udders. "They can barely fit, I see," Jeewon laughed. Sometimes she tried to hide, but there was truly no point; her boobs are huge, and she loves getting them worshipped. "Your mouth is so good in my tiddies," Jeewon said as you kept kissing and grabbing them, even slapping yourself with them. 
"Let me spin it around and show where else my mouth can be good," you told her, spinning the chair hard to get Jeewon's ass in front of your face. You were so excited you ended up missing the mark and almost making her fall off. "Wow, you really want it," she said. "Yes, I do; put your ass close to my face," you replied.
"For all the talk about your tiddies, you sure got a nice ass too, Jeewon. Can you make your butt wink for me?" you asked, making her laugh. "How does a butt wink?" she asked. "Well, whatever, as long as you're ready for my tongue," you said, diving it into Jeewon's butthole with fast stabbings inside her pink anus.
Jeewon started moaning and grabbed your head to push it deeper into her ass. "Ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh, you tongue it so good," she said. "Lean forward and let me spit on it," you said, sniffing and eating her tiny butthole. "So, do you like my tongue in your ass?" you asked. "I love it," she said.
A few more minutes of eating ass and Jeewon moaning ensued as you tongue-fucked her. "You taste so good," you told her, following with spinning sessions with the chair where your mouth went from her anus straight to her big tits and then back to her asshole. "Which one do you like better, how I grab your tits or how I eat your ass?" you asked. "Can't decide; both are so good," she said back.
You went back to her tits for a bit, pinching her nipples and slapping them against each other. "I just love that sound, making a milkshake with them," you said. "Now let me get back in that ass," you said, getting your tonguing more intense and Jeewon's moans louder. "Oh my God," she said as you were committed not to spare a single inch of her anus without cleaning. 
"Ohhhh, ohhhhh, you eat my ass so good," Jeewon says, with lots of moans in between. "Then hold my head and push it against it," you replied. Jeewon shaken her ass with your face making noise between her cheeks, mimicking the motorboating you gave to her tits moments ago.
"Yeah, that's perfect, ahhhh," Jeewon enjoyed every second of your tongue in her ass. "You look amazing; it seems like you're ready to suck some cock," you told her. "I'd love to," she replied.
Jeewon unzips your trousers and gets shocked by your hard cock already popping out. "So big," she says, measuring it against the bottle of lube you gave her and finding out it's got the same length. Jeewon starts sucking it using no hands and getting very sloppy from the start. "Spit all over my cock," you tell her.
It doesn't take long before you grab her head and start pushing your shaft deeper into her throat, making Jeewon almost choke on it, spitting more saliva once she gags. She quickly recovers and starts blowing it off again, making a lot of noise. 
"Are you ready to get facefucked?" you ask her. Jeewon nods positively. "Then come here," you say, grabbing her head and pounding her sloppy throat a few times as a test. "I love all that spit dripping from your face," you say, as Jeewon uses it to lube your shaft and suck it deeper, her udders bouncing hard as you fuck her face.
"Drool on it, baby," you tell as you can't stop fucking Jeewon's cute face, hitting the depth of her throat until she coughs again. Her face is already full of saliva, as you let her jerk your dick as well. "You're such a good cocksucker, aren't you?" you praise her blowjob skills.
"God, I love how much spit is falling into your chest," you tell her as you don't stop fucking her face, taking it balls deep as a string of saliva forms from Jeewon's chin up to her tits. "Shake those tits if you want to suck my cock," you tell Jeeewon, who moves them left and right after. "Perfect, just like that," you tell her.
Jeewon savors your meat to the fullest as you treat her throat like her second pussy. "Get it all the way down your throat," you tell her, but she struggles with your massive length, quickly gagging after a few tries. "I can't; it's just so fucking big.".
"Open your mouth wide," you tell Jeewon as you keep sticking your cock in it and enjoy the bulging under her cheek, giving it a couple strikes. "Holy shit, my boobs are full of saliva," she says as she shakes them, and you start the hardest round of facefucking on her. The only thing better than a smile in her face was your cock stuffing it.
"Play with your pussy while you suck my cock," you order to Jeewon, handing her one of those gigantic magic wand vibrators, which she turns on and places between her legs. Your facefucking is so sloppy; she's got saliva running all the way down her belly now, and the louder the vibrator gets, the harder you fuck her face.
Jeewon starts to moan louder as her pussy gets massaged; between it and your thrusts in her mouth, she can barely hold the vibrator as her legs get weaker. "Good girl making that big cock wet enough to hop on it," you praise her. "Yes, I'm ready to ride this," she says.
"Not yet," you tell Jeewon as she gags on your cock. "Slap those tits against my cock," you order as Jeewon brings them up together and starts hitting your pole from both sides. "Perfect, now let me spank your tiddies," you say, slapping your hard shaft against her milkers as she once again gives you that big smile you love so much.
"Squeeze that cock," you ask Jeewon, who presses your shaft between her big tits. It's so girthy she can barely squeeze them together. After such a long time, finally a cock worthy of her massive boobage. You push it up and down her tits, like a sausage making its way between a pair of hot dog buns.
You don't hold back, giving Jeewon the hard titfucking her massive udders deserve. "Open your mouth, lick that cock while I destroy those big tits," you tell her. Jeewon loves it, licking your tip like a maniac every time it emerges out of her milkers. "Keep your mouth open," you say, thrusting so hard that instead you actually end up missing it multiple times.
You lay down and let Jeewon be in control. As she squeezes your cock so hard, only your tip now pops out of her tits. "Oh yeah, that's so good," you tell her. "My tits are so soft and wet; look how easily they slide between your cock," she says.
However, it doesn't take long for your primal instincts to take over. "Let me tittyfuck you, bitch," you say as you start thrusting up Jeewon's huge melons in full speed. Her big heart now forms a heart-shaped (or pussy-shaped, a few would say) hole that your cock passes through. Jeewon keeps it well lubed with some spits, as you slide between her boobs fairly easily.
You take a little break and let Jeewon bounce those boobs up and down your dick like a maniac, with a few cocksuckings in between. Jeewon then stops and starts deepthroating your cock. "Do it; get it as wet as you can for your pussy," you tell her. Jeewon does just as you ask, coating your cock full of spit for a couple minutes. "Don't use your hands, just bob your head all the way down my balls," you tell her. Jeewon goes deeper and deeper until she finally gags.
"Are you ready to ride me now?" you ask Jeewon. "YESSSSS!" she enthusiastically says, her big smile back on her face. Jeewon doesn't take long to sit on your pole. "Ohhhhh," you groan as her tight pussy squeezes your walls. Jeewon herself is impressive, as she takes your full length. "Oh my God, Oh My God, fuck," she says as soon as she starts bouncing on it.
Jeewon quickly turns into a mess; your wet cock easily slides up and down her pussy, and her boobs are now jiggling nonstop. "God damn it, you're so fucking big," she says, but never stopping the ride.
"Choke me, yessss, ahhhhhh," Jeewon moans as you make it harder on her. Your hips clap hard against her butt every time she descends down it. You give her a little test as you push your cock up while choking her, making her laugh full of joy as she quickly regains control of the ride.
"Oh my God, you're so fucking deep inside me," Jeewon says as she can't stop moaning. You now grope her big tits, much to her enjoyment. "OH YES, OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," she rapidily screams. "Lean forward a bit," you order to her, taking her massive udders in your mouth while she bounces on your dick.
Jeewon's pussy quickly starts tightening the longer she goes with her ride. You grab her waist and push her body down your hips. "AHHHH FUCKKKK, YESSSS," she screams, closing her eyes as she gets completely impaled and her boobs bounce freely.
More and more moans come out of Jeewson's mouth as she quickly gets exausted, using all her mouth to ride your cock with hard and fast bounces. Her udders are a spectacle to watch as they turn into wild pinballs that move directionless. "AHHHHH, Fuck my little pussy," Jeewon begs, slowly getting out of breath the longer you impale her pussy.
"Get on your feet and keep bouncing on that dick," you command. Jeewon pushes harder, her pussy getting stretched out to the fullest, her ass clapping hard against your body. You finally decide to give her a break: "Come here to suck my cock," you tell her, kneeling as Jeewon bends over and gets that meat in her mouth as soon as you give her the command.
"Don't cover your tits; let me see them bounce," you tell her as Jeewon bobs her head on your cock. Like an unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object, you meet her head bobbing with more thrusts down her throat, doing as much as you can to make her boobs bounce.
"Ready to put it back in your pussy?" you ask her. "Yes, always ready," she says. "But first, you need to get a little sloppier; let me make those tits shake," you continue, fucking her face once again as you entertain herself with all the movement her milkers make while you do so.
Jeewon can't hide how tired she looks at this point, panting multiple times as she gags on your cock. But she's still hungry for cock, spitting all over it and throating it as deep as she can as you destroy her tiny, slutty mouth.
"Now you're ready," you tell her. Jeewon brings the lube bottle back and gets her boobs wet again. "Shake it," you command, as the lube falls down into your crotch and Jeewon rubs it on your shaft before sitting on it again, this time in reverse cowgirl.
Jeewon doesn't hold back, riding your cock as hard as she can. Her boobs are an even bouncier mess now. And she's an even bigger mess of moans. "AHHHH, YES, FUCK, OH MY GOD," she screams as you just passively watch, Jeewon planting her hands against the couch as a support while she bounces on your prick.
"OH FUCK THAT'S DEEP," Jeewon says as she ends up sliding your cock inside her cunt all the way down to your balls. You take advantage of this moment of weakness from her and thrust upwards. "AHHHHHH, YESSSS," she screams as her tits almost fly out of her body.
"FUCK THAT'S SO DEEP IN MY STOMACH, YES, YES, YES," Jeewon screams as your cock strikes her mercilessly balls deep, losing her breath as you hit her cervix. Her body is fully sweaty as she just lies on top of you and sits with your cock deep inside her, massaging your balls while she tries to recover from the quick but extremely hard pounding you just gave her.
Jeewon tries to ride a couple times but can barely last a minute. "FUCK YES, YES, YES," she says. "I need this cock so bad, but I'm so fucking tired," she says. "Then suck my dick," you tell her as she takes it deep in her throat like a hungry demon, but you do to her face just as you did to her pussy, pouding it from down low while Jeewon struggles with her throat getting filled full of cock at a franctic pace.
"Are you ready to get fucked lying on your back?" you ask Jeewon. "Yes, please, do it; I've never done this position before," Jeewon says with a huge smile on her face, her legs pressed against her big boobs. "Ready for this big cock to take you on a piledriver?" you keep asking. "Yesss, I'm so excited," Jeewon answers.
You rub and slap your cock against Jeewon's entrance, adding a little lube around her lower side. Jeewon's pussy starts queefing as soon as you penetrate it. You love the noise coming out of her cunt as you fuck her. "Hmmm, look at this tight pussy squirting all that lube," you say. "That's so hot," you say.
Jeewon grabs her boobs, jiggling them with her hands, and her moans are very out of breath now. You play with her pussy going in and out of it and enjoying the queefing sounds. You slowly pick up the pace, bulging your massive cock under her belly. "Fuck this little pussy, YESSSS, FUCKKK," Jeewon screams in between lots of moans.
"Look at that big cock under my stomach," Jeewon notices your bulging dick, massaging her belly in the area around it. You hit her pussy straight and deep, staying with your shaft buried all the way down her cunt. "Let's see it, let's see it," you enjoy your cock stabbing her insides as Jeewon runs her hands around the bulge under her tummy. "Poke me right there, please," she demands.
"AHHHHHH, OHHHHH FUCKKKK," Jeewon screams as you hit deep in her cervix; she is exhausted now and just enjoys you taking her pussy all the way in. A few liquids come out of her vagina, and you love it. "Oh God, are you squirting?" you ask her. "YESSSS," she screams as your cock dives into a pudddle of juices that get trapped between your shaft and gravity, pushing it back down inside Jeewon's fuckhole.
Jeewon laughs as you finger her little pussy. "Come here, baby, taste that cock full of squirt," you tell her. Jeewon gets up immediately, diving to suck your dick and lick your shaft from top to bottom, enjoying the taste of herself. "Dirty girl," you say to her as she chokes on your cock and bounces her tit with her franctic head-bobbing, smiling like the good whore she is.
As Jeewon finishes gagging on your cock, a coat of saliva fills it from top to bottom. She still has the strength for one final round, slapping her own ass as you look at her baby-making body. Jeewon puts her right leg up and gets herself into an acrobatic position on the couch for one last fucking. You slide your cock deep into her pussy from the beginning, making her moan softly.
You pound Jeewon fast and hard, making sure her boobs bounce as much as possible. At this point, Jeewon can barely feel her legs, just letting herself become a little cocksleeve for your monster cock. "Oh yes, oh yes," she moans as your balls clap against her clit and her boobs hit her chin. "That feels so fucking amazing," she says as your cock relentlessly attacks her cunt.
"OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," Jeewon says as you pound her balls deep. Her tits become massive bouncy pinballs at each thrust you give her; her clit stretches out like an opening mouth, and speaking of mouths, she opens her as far as she can to moan every time your cock fills her insides.
"CUM FOR ME, YES, CUM IN MY LITTLE PUSSY, PLEASE," Jeewon begs. Soon, you leave your signature inside it, coating her walls full of your white ink just as she wanted to. "Push it out," you tell her, spreading her pussy lips and bringing a cup where your cum lands after flowing out of her pussy.
Jeewon pushes the cum out of her pussy like a cow getting milked out of her tits. "Drop on your knees and pour it all over your big tits for me," you demand as Jeewon picks the cup up and fills her milkers full of your milk, licking her own nipples to taste your cum right out of her boobs as she gives you one final big smile.
"That was a lot of fun," Jeewon says. "So you had a lot of fun, you little slut; what was your favorite part?" you ask her. "Probably the piledriver loved watching your cock poking me from the inside," she said. "That's great; I hope I get to have more fun with you," you tell her. "Me too; that would be awesome," Jeewon replied.
"Last thing, I really love your smile," you say to Jeewon.
"And my big tits and little pussy too," Jeewon says, shaking her tiddies for one last time.
"Needless to say I love them."
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qwimblenorrisstan · 1 month
Text
Insufficient | Azriel x Reader
Summary: After a few months of dating, your relationship begins to crack, and the truth behind Azriel’s odd behavior comes out.
Word Count: ~ 1.8k
Warnings: ANGST, so much angst, sort of unrequited feelings, breakup, mentions of sex + torture and murder, Nesta being an absolute queen
A/N: enjoy some delicious azzy angst😋 lmk what you think I should do for the next part, like should they get back together, or reader finds a new mans while az grovels??
Requests are open!
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It had been a warm, sunny day when you’d first met him.
The bakery had been going steadily as ever in Velaris, your family-owned shop hard at work to make the citizen's pastries and your famous sourdough bread. Generations of the family had owned it beforehand, and you were still helping out, you had been working the front that day.
Azriel had walked in, asking for some sort of treat that his High Lady was craving. His description of it hadn’t been the best, leading to almost thirty minutes of you showing him different sweet treats and pastries until he finally found what he wanted, and ordered a dozen of them.
That had been the beginning of your situationship, where he’d come to the shop asking for various things once every now and then, only to subtly get closer to you and even slightly flirt.
Eventually, he asked you out to dinner, and after a few more, you two began dating, and he admitted that he felt a little spark when he first saw you. Looking back, you wondered if that was the only reason he even pursued you in the first place, not for your personality, or even your looks, but just because of that spark.
The first few weeks had been lovely, him being thoughtful and caring to you in the little acts. Such as the way he made coffee for you just how you liked it in the mornings, how he began to put things lower on shelves so you could reach them, how he would talk quietly when you had migraines, or be patient when you were in a mood. The best example probably being the first time you had your period in front of him.
He hadn’t acted disgusted by it, instead, he’d gently cared for you, helping you through it, buying you chocolate and all the foods and snacks you were craving, getting heating pads, making sure you were alright for the entire insufferable week.
However, after that, the honeymoon period must’ve worn off, because he seemed constantly tense or stressed after that. His face remained like stone, not budging or cracking, even for you. The softening of his eyes that had happened before it was replaced by something strained as if he was waiting impatiently for something.
Even in bed, he wouldn’t look at you, remained quiet as a mouse, the only sign that he was enjoying himself being a large exhale as he buried his face in your neck or turned away. That was another problem, he knew how to fuck, he knew how to do that very well, but he didn’t know how to make love. Any time you tried to teach him, he just didn’t accept it, simply giving an unsatisfactory hum in response and continuing what he was doing.
He’d come home from missions, drenched in sweat and sometimes even blood, and not say anything even when you cleaned him off and led him to bed, giving you a cold shoulder. You fully understood that he had a bloody past and history, but you at least expected him to open up a little bit to you. Without any emotional transparency, it wasn’t really a relationship, was it?
His family was nice, though. You liked them, especially Nesta, since she seemed not to put up with everyone else’s bullshit. She was the only one you opened up to about your issues with Azriel, and how you were thinking of breaking things off or taking a break.
“He’s a hard one, but it sounds like he’s being an ass. If it were me, I wouldn’t put up with that.”
She said while you both sat in the library, neither of you noticing the small shadows lurking near the books. You sighed, nodding slowly.
“I know, it’s just…I feel like he’s waiting for something else, like just me isn’t enough.”
You said with a frown, and Nesta gave a little hum of acknowledgment.
“Just give it a week or two, and if you’re still unhappy, I’d leave.”
She said with a shrug, and not long after the both of you went your separate ways. You followed Nesta’s advice, giving the relationship a week or two, and it remained stressed and tense. However, when you finally managed to get into Azriel’s office during the day, about to break things off, he spoke first.
“Let me guess, your testing weeks weren’t satisfactory?”
He asked in a sharp tone, eyes narrowed on you with a piercing gaze. You took a sharp breath in, glaring at him despite the embarrassment that tried to take over.
“You were spying on me.”
You said, trying to keep your tone even despite how it wavered slightly. He stood then, towering over you from his superior height.
“I don’t like when people talk about me behind my back, let alone my partner.”
He said, the words clipped and full of anger simmering under the surface. He took a step closer, and you took a step back. You’d never been afraid of him, not really, but at this moment you didn’t exactly want to be close to him. His keen eyes noticed, and something like hurt and anger flashed in them.
“Don’t act like I’m some terrible person for having a girl talk because you’ve been acting weird. I can’t believe you spied on me.”
He huffed, taking another step closer, the shadows swirling and writhing, looking more agitated than ever. You took another step back, only to run straight into a wall that was now behind you. He continued stalking closer until your heart was beating faster and faster until he leaned down so you were eye-to-eye.
“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for. I’m not gentle or loving, I am a spymaster, I torture and kill people for my work, and have for centuries. I won’t be forced to change just to fit what you think I should be, or what you want in a relationship.”
He hissed, his words now full of anger and frustration. You leaned back, trying to keep away.
“That’s your problem. You don’t know how to separate your work life from your personal life, and you’re taking it out on me. You can be gentle and loving, I’ve seen it before, but I’m not what you want. You’ve been acting like I need to be something more for you when I’m not. I don’t know what you want, but your inability to communicate and be transparent isn’t my problem.”
You said back, tears now welling up as you tried to push him away. He didn’t back up, only moving closer and pushing you into the wall. His temper was building, and you could tell. It was only a matter of time until he would….
“A mate! I wanted a mate!”
Snap.
The silence stretched on and on for what seemed like hours after he said that, yelling it in your face. You’d never heard him raise his voice before. You gaped at the sight of him unwinding and shattering right in front of you as he rambled on.
“It’s not fair, Rhys gets Feyre, Cassian gets Nesta, Lucien gets Elain even if she doesn’t want him, and who do I get? No one.”
He said in an almost panicked tone, rambling on and on. He pushed off the wall, pacing around in his office, hands fidgeting.
“I thought—when I felt that spark when I went in your shop, that it might be you, but you weren’t enough. You aren’t my mate, because it would’ve snapped by now, I would’ve felt it, but I didn’t. You aren’t enough for me, and you never will be.”
He said, finally sighing at the end. He wouldn’t even look at you, eyes unfocused and only looking randomly around the room, anywhere but towards you. You swallowed, trying to hold back the tears that welled up because of his words. You weren’t enough. You never would be.
He looked like he felt a bit bad for half a second before his expression hardened again into that unflinching steel you’d grown to hate. He finally looked at you again, no hint of empathy or guilt now in his gaze for leading you on, or practically torturing you these past months.
Taking a shaky breath, you finally choked words out.
“Oh,” You murmured, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Okay.”
You whispered, managing to push off the wall to walk to the door, opening it and walking down the hall, to the room you two had shared, and you began packing your belongings. Picture frames of your family, your clothes, little trinkets, toiletries, you left no trace of you behind as you packed it in a large duffel bag in the closet.
You walked to the front door of the House, open the door, and walk out, the 10,000 steps down looming in front of you. Azriel didn’t offer to fly you down, and it was only when you turned to look back at him, his face stone cold, that you felt it.
The snap.
A shifting warmth and coldness all at once.
And a mating bond.
His face fell in what looked like pure devastation and realization, hazel eyes wide and lips parted. It might’ve been the most emotion you’d seen him show in weeks. He began to walk out, trying to go after you as you began taking the steps, but a large flap and wave of wind stopped him.
Cassian’s large, hulking form stopped him, shaking his head grimly as he walked towards you, where you were still going down the steps, and he laid a hand on your shoulder.
“I’ll fly you.”
He said simply, and you nodded with a sniffle as he picked you up, his wings carried him into the air as he soared up, only to land moments later and drop you off back at the bakery where your family was working. He set you on the ground, pulling you into a warm hug.
“I’m sorry,”
He said, letting you pull away, and for some reason, you believed him. You, Cassian, and Nesta made quite the dynamic trio, and you would probably miss them the most. They were some of your closest friends, and also wonderful drinking buddies. You and Nesta loved cheating in card games and beating Cassian when he was too drunk to notice until he owed either of you a fortune.
“You can always come visit me and Nes, just send a letter or somethin’.”
He murmured to you, wiping the tears from your cheek, and giving you an apologetic grin, before sending you off inside your family’s bakery and flying off.
This time, when you saw the shadow still curled around your wrist like it always had been when you and Azriel were dating, you smacked it off, sticking your hand right into a clear ray of sunshine to chase it off.
You were done being dragged down by shadows and darkness, and for once in your miserable life, you were going to look for the light instead.
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delusionsofgrandeur13 · 5 months
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pt. 2
you just saw your ex boyfriend, dick grayson, for the first time since he broke up with you.
you ran into him on the street.
no, like, literally ran into him.
you were walking your mom’s dog for her, a german shepherd she got when you moved out. she’d aptly named him trouble. despite his name, trouble was usually a mellow guy, even if he was huge. walking him was just another thing you were doing to try and ignore the thoughts constantly pounding out a beat in your head.
oh, dick would think this is funny! that’s dick’s favorite color, i should buy it! dick and i should go there on our next date!
and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on and-
anyways, you were definitely trying to keep yourself busy.
any time a memory popped up in your brain of him—
laughing at your jokes, holding you close while you fell asleep, kissing your neck while he thrust into you
—you’d empty the dishwasher, paint your nails, (any color but blue) turn on reality tv, read a book, stuff your face, whatever.
anything to stop fucking thinking about him and his stupid blue eyes and his dumb smile.
you’d been been watching the news, sprawled across the couch. just the regular gotham news: don’t use main street, mr. freeze’s ray iced out the pavement. the iceberg lounge had been raided by the police for the third time this month. the justice league defeated yet another extraterrestrial threat to humanity, blah, blah, blah. you weren’t really watching. the news program ended, and the next one started. a gotham gossip show. they were doing a special segment on the wayne family.
of course they fucking were. even your tv was conspiring against you. you had to resist the urge to chuck the remote at it.
you turned it off instead, heading to your room to get ready for a run.
(running for exercise or running from your thoughts?)
your mom had asked you to take trouble right before you’d walked out the door, and so you grabbed him and his leash and headed out. you’d forgotten the bags for his poop, but you didn’t think you would be out that long, so you just kept on going.
you were wearing the leggings dick had bought you, ones he joked should be a specific blue color. you hadn’t understood then, but you more than understood now. it was warmer, and so you just had on an old sports bra on top, and some converse.
you were not the athletic type. that was dick. probably still was. you wouldn’t really know.
you hadn’t talked since it happened, like three or four weeks ago.
time had become a little fuzzy. your mom said you could stay with her as long as you needed, but you were starting to get the itch to move out.
nothing against your mom, it’s just hard to sob really loudly into a pint of ice cream when she’s there.
and she keeps trying to wash the one shirt of dick’s you still have. you know, fully well, how dumb it is, (and a little gross) but you’re still wearing his shirt every night to bed. and maybe it’s all in your head, but it still smells like him. you aren’t ready to wash it. besides, now that you’re sleeping by yourself, you’re pretty sure it’s helping you fall asleep. something that was hard to do the first few nights without your big warm boyfriend next to you in bed.
it probably isn’t good for you, to keep wearing his shirt.
you’d had your hand between your thighs more than once late at night thinking about being enveloped in his scent. your nights were haunted with thoughts of his body over yours, his phantom voice in your ear. calling you angel, asking you if this was heaven, like the last time you’d had sex.
it definitely isn’t good for you.
but neither is life without dick grayson.
you try not to dwell on the fact that dick had given you a sort of non-reason for the breakup. sure, it got lonely sometimes, or you got anxious for your masked boyfriend, so you cried. so what if your patience wore thin after a few too many “i’m sorry, angel, i can’t make it this time”-s.
you were human!
but you’d never, never once complained about his absence or his commitments to his family.
never.
he’d just assumed you were silently suffering and it really irked you if you thought about it for too long. you still weren’t sure if you were mad at him or sad, or whatever. it felt like your brain couldn’t decide on an emotion so you just got twelve at once. but what you did know for sure was that he was 110% worth it to you. you just wish he’d realize that. see that. instead of just the times you were a little emotionally strung out. your ex boyfriend was too willing to sacrifice his own mental health for the sake of yours and you were sick of it. but you didn’t know if you had the courage to say that to him. or even see him, after the way this breakup had hit you.
your friends had managed to get you out of the house, a few times now.
you’d gotten almost too drunk every time, escaping your friends and going outside to get some air. this time, you saw a guy that looked just enough like dick, and it’d all been too much. so you got out of there. you sat yourself down on the curb, looking up at the hazy rooftops. you were always looking up. always.
and since the break up, you’d noticed the vigilantes of your city more often. maybe there was more criminal activity. maybe you were just paying more attention than you used to.
you’d seen spoiler and orphan, pounding the pavement behind you to run after some seedy looking guy holding a briefcase. you think spoiler tried to high five you on the way past, but there was no way. you wrote it off as your memory embellishing things.
you were pretty sure red hood had nodded at you before disappearing down a fire escape on the other side of the building.
your mom had recently gotten a delivery of security cameras for her house. but she hadn’t ordered them. the shipping address had only the address of some warehouse on the dock, the name just, ‘R.R.’ you’d set the cameras up, but you and your mom both were still baffled about it.
and here, sitting on the curb, you were staring at what looked like a dark figure crouched on the rooftop opposite. they’d been there when you’d entered the club, too.
you squinted, trying to make out shoulders and suit colors, when they stood up, and the light bounced off his shiny cowl.
fucking batman?
you shook your head, trying to shake your drunk brain like an etch-a-sketch. there was actually no way.
a smaller figure, one you hadn’t seen behind the shape of batman (!?) pulled a weapon, a gleaming silver sword, and pointed it at you. your head spun. batman (there was no way) shook his head at robin. he sheathed his sword, throwing his hands up in what looked like annoyance. you blinked, and they were gone.
you weren’t really sure if it had happened or not. you’d been trying not to think too hard about the fact that you still hadn’t seen nightwing. you’d really been trying.
so instead, you were walking your mom’s dog.
trouble had, in fact, pooped, and you were frantically looking around for something to pick it up with. gotham was already shitty enough without the addition of, well, literal shit. the streets were busy, but not crowded, and someone down the block whistled for a cab, catching your attention. you turned, and at the same time, trouble jerked your arm, pulling you backwards into someone walking on the sidewalk. the stranger made a choked sound.
“trouble??”
your heart stopped. you held your breath, turning around.
trouble was at attention, looking up at your ex-boyfriend with his head cocked.
dick’s eyes were wide. his hair shorter than you remember. he leaned down to scratch trouble behind the ears, his biceps and shoulder muscles in hard relief. are you dreaming? you didn’t recognize the shirt he had on, but he was wearing your favorite jeans of his, and his matching converse. your mouth felt like a desert.
trouble trails around the two of you, the leash long. he loves your ex-boyfriend, you know he won’t go anywhere.
“did you cut your hair?” you take a step forward. dick does too.
“i-” he clears his throat. “i did. do you like it?” he shifts his eyes, his cheeks bright pink.
you make a show of looking it over. he turns his head so you can see it from all angles. like he always did when he got a haircut.
your chest hurts.
you nod approvingly, flashing him a weak smile.
“it looks really nice. you’re very-” your face heats as you stop yourself. “it looks very handsome.”
that’s an understatement. you would’ve climbed him like a tree the minute he’d come home looking like that. the way his biceps were bulging out of his shirt sleeves could not be good for his circulation. it was great for yours, your heart was beating a mile a minute.
dick smiles down at you, stepping forward again.
“thanks.” he looks down, taking in your outfit. “nice leggings, ang-” he’s cut off when trouble spots a squirrel and darts, barking wildly. the problem is, trouble had been walking his leashed self around you and dick.
you’re now chest to chest with your ex boyfriend in the middle of a sidewalk, tied to him by rope. you vaguely hear trouble whine at the way his collar bit into his neck from the leash pulling taut. you didn’t even have the time to process the fact that he had almost called you angel. which was probably a good thing.
you’re breathing heavily, while dick doesn’t seem to be breathing at all.
he’s put his arms around you on instinct, and you hate the way you feel like you’re home. a shiver runs up your spine at the sudden closeness, and dick peers down at you through half-lids. your mouth dries up again. you suddenly feel indignant.
“you are not allowed to breakup with me and then show up and look at me like that!” you hiss at him.
you would throw up your hands in exasperation if they weren’t basically pinned to dick’s body. a smile breaks across his face, his bright blue eyes telling you everything you need to know. he stares at you, studying you. you wonder if he can feel how hard your heart is beating.
“alfred taught me a new recipe.” he blurts, his hand clutching at your back.
he’s adorable. but you school your face and raise an eyebrow at him.
“..oookay?”
dick blushes, his face sheepish. “i could make it for you, if you wanted.”
“what i want is an apology.” you look him up and down.
your ex boyfriend grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut. “understandable.”
“on your hands and knees. i think this is one of those begging-for-my-forgiveness type situations, don’t you think?”
dick nods, a strand of hair falling across his forehead. his eyes flash.
“you don’t have to worry about getting me on my knees.”
one heartbeat pounds behind your ribs, the other one between your legs. you huff out a weird sort of nervous laugh.
“oh, i’m not joking.” his lips curve up in a smile, one you know very well. he obviously plans to make up on lost time.
you forgot how charming he was. you have to practically force yourself to breathe. you’d do anything to have the real thing over his old t-shirt. you give yourself a mental shake.
he can flirt all he wants, but what about your heart? you look up at him, and his face softens, his pupils huge.
“can you get us untangled?”
dick nods, whistling for trouble. he frees an arm and grabs trouble’s collar, guiding him back around so the leash falls to the sidewalk. you step back, taking a deep breath. you’re cold at the sudden loss of his body heat. it’s a harsh reminder of reality. you grab trouble’s leash, having him sit. you look at your ex boyfriend.
“thanks.” you take another deep breath. “can you promise me something, though?”
he nods, his face serious. “anything. anything at all.”
“promise you won’t break my heart again?” you hold out your pinky finger.
dick coughs, surprised at your words. he looks down, taking a shaky breath. he’s in disbelief, he’s ecstatic, he’s on top of the world, he…has a lot of apologizing to do.
when he looks back up to offer up his own pinky, his eyes are shining. the sight makes your heart melt. you take his finger in yours, beaming up at him.
he gives you a soft smile in return. “i promise.”
you take your hand back, feeling the most hopeful you have in a month.
a breeze picks up, and the whiff you get reminds you of your earlier predicament. you look down. dick looks down too.
shit. literally.
you forgot about the fact that trouble had used the sidewalk as a toilet.
“is that trouble’s?” he asks.
you nod, making a face. “i forgot the poop bags.”
“rookie mistake.” dick shakes his head, smiling. you look him up and down, and then turn, walking back the way you came.
“text me about that recipe!” you lift your hand in a wave.
“but-..uh, the shit?” he calls after you.
“that’s alllll you, baby!” you yell back, practically skipping away. you feel like you’re floating.
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tartarusknight · 6 months
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Steve had this habit, a habit which most of the party were annoyed by. They understood it, God did they understand. But after everything was over and the Upside Down was gone for good, it kept happening. Months and months of daily calls. Just Steve checking in and asking them about their day.
Mike hadn't understood why he was on the list of names Steve would call, but if he didn't pick up the phone, there would be a knock on the door within the hour. And Steve, sometimes followed by Robin, would stop by like he was that important to them. Once, it had been on their way to work, and Steve had only locked eyes with him and raised an eyebrow. Mike just flipped him off and continued reading his comic.
Dustin had told him it was Steve's way of coping, and Lucas had turned the calls into workouts with the older teen. Will had just gone a little red and nodded along. El smiled and told Mike about the tips for hair care she got. Max just rolled her eyes and said that Steve had taken to stopping by with food most days.
Steve would be there. He was always there. It was annoying, but it was a constant. Maybe that's why Mike laid awake as the clock ticked closer and closer to midnight. Normally, he could fall asleep within minutes, a habit he had inherited from his dad. But he could bring himself to sleep as his phone didn't ring. As the walkie stayed silent. As the door remained untouched, no knock to be heard.
And it was stupid. Because Mike didn't want Steve to call him every day just to ask him if he was okay. It made him feel like a kid. It reminded Mike of his mom, but even his mom wasn't that bad. No, no one really did that for Mike. No one checked in day after day even as he remained uncaring towards them. No one but Steve.
Until now...
Mike watched the clock as it passed midnight, and his stomach twisted into knots. Fear bubbled up, and he pictured Steve getting into a fight he couldn't walk away from. He pictured a car crash so great that Steve was unable to reach for the walkie he carried with him everywhere. He pictured the worst- the Upside Down still around. The demogorgon coming up and dragging Steve into that hellpit.
Mike was up and pulling on a warm sweatshirt before those images were fully formed. He crawled out his window and down the roof, not too unlike the way Steve had done to visit Nancy. It left him already out of breath by the time he climbed on his bike. But that didn't stop him. He pushed off the ground, biking as fast as he could towards Loch Nora.
The cold air hot his face, and the road seemed to go on forever, but Mike didn't stop. He couldn't stop. Not until Steve's place was in view.
Mike tossed his bike uncarringly onto the pavement before slamming his fist into the Harrington's nice door. He didn't let up. He couldn't as an image of Steve dead in his own pool floated in his mind.
However, then the door was opening. Steve stood there, looking like he hadn't been asleep either. A smear of white powder on his cheek and a hollowness in his eyes. But still, something eased in Mike the same time Steve lost some of that weight in his shoulders as well. "You- you didn't-" Mike started, still out of breath. "Call. Why didn't you- call?" He gasped and Steve looked at him with a weird expression.
"You- What?" Steve questioned, sounding lost.
Mike crossed his arms, "I- you can't just stop!" He gasped out, and Steve's brow furrowed.
"But you don't like it when I do? I annoy you," he tries to point out, and Mike huffs.
"God, of course you annoy me! You track our days more intensly than my mom, and you always make dumb jokes, and I hate that I find them funny! You always call when I'm in the middle of something, and you make it easy to stay on the phone! You are always there like some weird older brother that I never asked for!" Mike shouts and Steve's eyes are wide.
"You don't have to stay around or call, but you do! You do, and you actually care. Like when you call and ask me if I'm okay, it feels like you care, and I don't understand why! I don't get you! I didn't ask you to care about me, but even when you were dating Nancy, you cared! You took Holly and me to get ice cream even though Nancy had to study! You give me and my friends rides everywhere! You care!" Mike throws his hands up in the air.
He glares at the older teen, "You care so much that I stupidly care about you! I care enough to come and check on you because when you didn't call, all I could think was that you were like dead or something," Mike snaps and takes a step back. "But you're obviously fine so-" and he wants to run suddenly. To run from the way Steve's eyes are filled with tears or the stupid words he just told the older teen.
Steve runs a hand through his hair, tugging slightly. "Mike, I stopped because I didn't think you wanted me to. You always acted like I was your least favorite person in the world and I guess I just- I didn't feel like it was fair to force you to put up with me just because I can't handle not knowing if you were okay." Steve said, and it didn't sound like the normal Steve. He sounded tired and nervous. He sounded like someone had finally beaten him
Mike bites his lip and tastes salt like he had been crying. Or maybe he still was. He crosses his arms like he can shield himself from this conversation. "But now you don't care enough to keep calling?"
Steve rubbed his face, a sigh shaking his whole body as he did. "I still care, kid."
Mike scoffs, "You didn't call."
Steve drops his hands to his sides. "Just come inside. It's too late for you to bike home. I'll call your place and leave a message." Steve says, his voice sounding close to tears. Mike is stiff when he lets Steve pull him inside.
They are quiet as Steve guides him towards the kitchen. The kitchen that has music playing softly and smelling like a bake sale. He blinks as he steps into the room and spots cookies cooling on a rack and a pie stilling uncooked on the counter. The top crust is sitting on the counter next to it. There's a smell of something in the oven, and Mike states at all of it in confusion.
"I bake when I can't relax," Steve admits, and Mike glances over at him. "I still care, and I was trying to give you space. I was trying not to crowd you, so I just," and he waves his hand around the mess everywhere. The smear of white on his cheek now makes sense.
Mike hugged himself, "I don't- I don't mind the calls." He whispered, and it got a snort from Steve.
He looked over at Mike, "I kinda got that from your speech."
They stood there in silence for another moment before Steve moved to finish putting his pie together. "I know that we aren't close or anything. But I care, it's not just the Upside Down making me anxious, it's just that-" and Steve went quiet. "I went overboard, I get it. But now I just- I can't stop." He admits, and Mike hates how upset Steve sounds. How guilty he sounds.
"I fall asleep easier knowing that if someone wasn't okay, we'd know because of you. It's like you take all the stress from me just by being around." He says, and Steve's eyes are wide. "Maybe we just do a sound off every night so you don't have to play phone tag all day." He shrugs, and Steve wrinkles his nose.
"I don't really get how to use the walkie. Like Dustin tried to show me, but he got distracted and started talking about radio waves and well..." Steve mimed it going over his head.
Mike snorted to hide how much that terrified him. The thought of something bad happening and Steve not being able to respond. But he pushed it away as Steve looked at him as if waiting for Mike to tease him. "That's fair. We did modify them, so they worked better. It's not as simple as your average walkie. I can show you," he offered, and Steve's face split into a grin.
"Cool, want to help me finish this so I can put it in the fridge until tomorrow? Then you can teach me the ways," Steve says, going all dramatic, proving to Mike he'd been spending too much time with Eddie. Mike groaned but came over only for Steve to shove him to the sink to wash his hands.
Steve showed him what to do, and Mike was glad to have Steve around. Because sure Steve's habit was annoying, and sometimes it interfered with Mike's plans, but it was nice too. Steve was nice. And that was something Mike ever believed would happen. But as Steve joked that Mike should not become a baker, he was nice. Like the way Mike was nice to Holly or how Nancy was nice to him. He was part of the family, annoyingly nice habits and all.
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iheartcurlyfries · 5 months
Text
put it in a ponytail, fuck it from behind.
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dealer!abby x nerdy!reader
CW: 18+, heavy mentions of drugs, wlw, strap sucking r!giving, strap fucking r!receiving, gentle abby, lots of uses of swears, car sex, praising, hair tugging, name calling, smut with very little plot, abby calls her strap her "dick", cringe (low-key)
requests are open!!<33
ever since you were younger you always loved the idea of drugs, you used them as an escape, a way to leave the real world even if it was only for a few hours.
and of course when you went to college you found out about the school's dealer, abby anderson. obviously you were excited, you knew if you ever needed a little help she'd hook you up, and when you did, she really did give you what you needed.
for some reason she always discounted you, never making you pay fully. you never understood why, maybe because you were a nerd? no one ever expected you to be into drugs, and when you asked her for some she was genuinely surprised.
'mm, here for your usual?' she'd smile as she saw you open her car door, she'd lean back on the leather seat, one hand on the steering wheel as her head lightly turned to you.
'yes please.' you'd say, you always got the same thing, a tiny zip lock bag of a few joints packed in. she knew you too well, she'd always make sure to pack the bag full, so you had extra.
she reached into her backpack, pulling out the bag before handing it to you, the smile forming into a sly grin. 'y'know what?' she whispered, spreading her legs slightly.
'hm?' you hummed, taking the bag into your hands and setting it aside. you reached your hand into your pocket, pulling out a stack of cash, handing it to her.
she chuckled before pushing your hand away. 'no no- it's on the house.' you shook your head, trying to hand her the cash again, she swatted your hand away. 'seriously, babe, it's free.'
'n' why's that?' you said, your back pressed against the leather passenger seat, gently and slowly putting the cash down. 'because you're my best customer, silly.' she'd smile, her hands sliding down her thigh as she looked at you. you returned the smile, 'are you sure? I always buy from you.' you mumbled, she nodded.
'it's fine, princess.' she teased, a soft giggle escaping her throat. 'I don't want cash from you.' she said, you noticed she slowly checked you out.
'then what can I do for a payment?' you rested your hand on your thigh, your eyes lingering on her as you almost admired her gaze on you. your tone was serious, you genuinely wanted to give her something in return, as always.
her gaze softened, she looked at you, wondering if you were being serious, but of course you were. you never understood sarcasm or anything, you'd never usually joke around like how she would, and that's something she liked about you.
she'd lean in, taking her beauty as you felt her heavy eyes gazing all over your body. her eyes were half lidded, she mostly kept eye contact with you, only stopping to gaze down your neck. she'd lean in more, slowly, so she could whisper in your ear. 'this.' she pulled back for a second, taking a moment to look at your lips before she crashed hers onto them.
your eyes fluttered as she kissed you, a sweet sound of ecstasy escaped your throat as she pulled you closer. she wrapped an arm around you, kissing you deeply. 'c'mere angel..' she whispered against your lips as her hand slid down, gripping your left hip before tugging on it. you obeyed, letting her guide you over the glove compartment and onto her lap, she slowly adjusted herself to make sure you were comfortable.
you leaned into her, the soft sounds of love escaping both of your lips as she guided both hands to your thighs. she gently rubbed them, she pulled at your thighs, reeling you in even more.
you couldn't help but lightly moan, her touch was intoxicating and you never wanted it to stop. her hands slid up to your hips, she gripped them gently before gently pushing them against her. a sweet sound escaped from a tiny gap in between your lips, you felt something, almost like a buldge in her pants?
your eyes widened as she pressed you into it more, almost making sure you knew what you were being grinded against. she pulled away from the kiss, letting out a pant before resting her gaze on you again. 'you feel that? mm.. it's m'dick..' she whispered, a smile growing on her face as she rubbed you against it, her smile only growing when you made more of your beautiful noises.
'do you want me to fuck you?' she'd ask, but you couldn't focus, her voice was already enough for you. you'd give her a slow nod, a soft smile on your face as you let her guide your hips. your nod was a good response to her, her hands left your hips and instead creeped up your sides. 'get on your knees.' she said, it was almost like a command, you slowly backed up, slowly lowering yourself down into the bottom of the car seat. once you were down there she slipped her jeans off, guiding them down to her ankles. she smiled at you, grabbing your chin and guiding it up to her strap. 'open up, angel..' you instantly opened your lips, enough for her to guide her strap into your mouth.
she slid a hand into your hair, guiding it into a ponytail so she could tug on it. you looked up at her, only the tip of her dick being in your mouth. she gently thrusted forwards, the head of the strap sliding into your mouth, it slightly hit the back of your mouth. she gently pushed in and out, slowly throat fucking you, she made sure to get her strap wet enough for you. she tugged on your hair, you closed your eyes, lightly gagging as her strap slid in and out of the opening to your throat.
she leaned back, staring at you, taking in every detail of you as she watched you take her dick like a champ. she uttered out light praise, smiling at you as the strap hit your uvula slightly. 'good girl..' she whispered before gently pulling the strap out of your mouth, putting her thumb onto your bottom lip. she pulled her hand back, patting her lap. 'c'mon pretty girl.' you smiled, the smile was so pure. you lifted yourself up, guiding yourself back onto abby's lap.
her hands grabbed at your hips again, leaning in to give you a quick kiss before she grabbed the waistband of your pants, quickly sliding them down. 'take em' off..' she mumbled. you giggled, helping her take your pants and panties off, sliding them down your ankles.
she smirked at you, the ends of her mouth curving up into a lustful expression. her hands pulled your hips fowards, guiding you into a different position. she turned you around, making you face the steering wheel, she rubbed her hands up your sides, her fingers circling them. she began to lift you up slightly, wrapping one arm around your waist before she guided you down on her dick.
you whined at the feeling, you felt a soft pain as she stretched you out, but the pain quickly faded. she leaned in to kiss your neck, whispering an 'I'm sorry, baby..' when she heard your whine. you cooed, reassuring her it was okay. she took your hair into her hand again, taking a hair band off of her wrist and guiding your hair into it slowly, making sure it wasn't tied tightly. with a light tug on your hair she gently started to thrust into you. rubbing down your thigh in slow motions as she leaned in to kiss down the back of your neck again.
you whimpered, her arm sliding around your waist again as she lifted you up and down onto her. tugging at your ponytail once more as a soft grunt left her lips. your eyes rolled back into your head as butterflies swirled in your stomach. her arms practically cradled you, her eyes took in your curves before she let her spare hand roam them.
'mph.. abby..' you grunted, your hands struggling to try and find something to grip. she slowly sped up her gentle thrusts, rubbing her hand over your stomach as she sucked a light hickey onto the back of your shoulder. 'do you like that angel? like the feeling of my dick fuckin' you?' she lightly teased, letting out a soft giggle into your ear as she pulled at your ponytail again, biting down onto your neck, not hard, very gently, making sure not to hurt you.
you'd nod, not sure if you were able to choke out a sentence, not when abby's dick being this deep inside you. she'd tug at your hair once more, 'use your words, sweetheart..' she mumbled. you whined, taking a second as you tried to get a sentence out. 'I love it-- mmggh..' your sentence got caught up as abby hit a weak spot, you gripped the steering wheel as she hit it again, and again.
she was driving you fucking insane, her dick fucked you so effortlessly, she slid in and out of you with delicate precision. your cunt started gushing around her dick, she only pushed in deeper, using the sound as a signal that you were close. you never felt this feeling before, a intense knot in your stomach growing and growing, desperately wanting release as she bucked her hips into you.
it all felt unreal, she was sending you to heaven and you didn't want it to stop. sweet moans left your mouth, another signal for abby to keep going, she loved the sound of your voice, the way you let out the prettiest noises that were only for her to hear. she needed to please you, making it a mission. she leaned back, letting go of your hair before she put both hands on your hips, helping you ride her. she praised you, her tone as genuine as possible, she made you feel good, amazing at that. 'you got this baby, cum f'me.' she said, her grip tightened on your hips, making it feel as if she was holding you down, making sure you couldn't get away. you squirmed, choking out a whine. 'm'gonna cum, abs..'
she'd chuckle, her hands gripping at the soft fat on your thighs. 'let it out, let it all out f'me..' she said, guiding you to your orgasm. it all felt like a blur, you bit down on your bottom lip, cursing under your breath as you felt it. you came down from your high like it was a waterfall, she helped ride out your orgasm. quickly speeding up as you'd moan: 'fuuuck.. abs..!' she'd smile, gently slowing down. your eyes would roll back again, as you felt your walls gush. she pulled you back, letting you lay on her. she'd kiss down your neck, rubbing her hands up your curves again. 'did so good f'me didn't you?' she asked, looking for an answer as you panted. 'mmhhmmm..' you'd say, your voice cracking. she'd chuckle, staring at your face with a gentle gaze, guiding a hand up your arm.
'I think I'd prefer this as payment..'
'me too...'
authors note: hsgshshsjs it's finally done, I seriously was tweaking writing this like my writers block rn is insane so sorry if it starts good and gets worse towards the end, idk I'm tired but yaah.
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idkyetxoxo · 16 days
Text
Aemond Targaryen - Made for Him
Summary - She was made for him, a truth never far from her thoughts. Unable to restrain himself any longer and knowing their union was inevitable he simply could not hold back anymore. His need for her was overpowering, compelling him to possess her completely.
Pairing - Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen reader
Warnings - Sexual content (smut!!), getting caught in the act (very brief)
Word count - 2219
Masterlist for Aemond • House of the Dragon General Masterlist
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We were created for them and that is what we were told.
From the moment Helaena and I were born, our destinies were predetermined. We were aware of our fates since infancy. Our roles had been assigned to us by the whims and desires of others, shaped to fit their fantasies and ambitions.
Helaena, being the elder twin, was destined to marry Aegon, the future king, a decision decreed by our mother and her father, the Hand of the King. My own fate was to be bound to Aemond, the one-eyed prince.
"Brother," I greeted as Aemond entered the library.
"Sister," he replied, his gaze never leaving my figure as he selected a book from the shelves.
He settled into a chair opposite me, ostensibly to read, but his attention was fixed on me, his gaze intense and unwavering.
As I flipped through the pages of my book, I could feel his eye tracing my every movement. He watched me with a fascination that seemed to grow stronger with each passing year.
Aemond had never objected to our arranged match, on the contrary, he welcomed it. To him, I was more than just a sibling. I was his confidante, the one person who saw beyond the scarred face and understood the depths of his soul.
His anticipation for the day of our union was obvious. Ever since Helaena and Aegon's union, Aemond had been counting the days until our own. His desire was a tangible force, barely restrained by the conventions of courtly decorum.
Aemond's gaze moved over my face, lingering on my lips, which he longed to touch. His stare drifted lower, taking in the curve of my neck and the neckline of my dress, which revealed just enough to inflame his imagination. His eyes settled on my breasts, pressed against the fabric, and all sane thoughts eluded his mind.
Suddenly, he stood up, his book crashing onto the chestnut table with a resounding thud.
"Aemond, what is the matter?" I gasped, placing my book down to look up at him.
His eyes burned with fierce intensity. "I cannot do this," he suddenly said, striding toward me with determination. I gasped as he grabbed my arms, pulling me up and closing the distance between us.
"I want you," he whispered, his breath hot against my ear. I swallowed hard.
"Aemond, we cannot," I chided, placing my hand on his chest. "Not before we are wed."
He exhaled sharply, his frustration evident. "You were made for me," he said lowly, his breath sending shivers down my spine. "Does it really matter when we give in?" His burning gaze pierced through me.
Before I could fully comprehend his words, I shook my head.
"Then let me have you," he said, and without waiting for an answer, his lips crashed into mine with a fierce intensity. 
Aemond's lips trembled as they met mine, the fierce exterior faltering for a brief moment. In that kiss, I felt not just desire, but a plea, a desperate need to be seen, to be understood, to be loved despite the darkness that lingered within him.
His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer as the kiss deepened. He motioned for me to wrap my legs around him.
Supporting my weight with one hand, he used the other to hastily clear the large chestnut table of its books and papers, laying me across it. He crawled on top of me, his hands finding their way to my chest, squeezing my breasts through the fabric of my dress as he continued kissing me.
A soft groan escaped my lips, music to his ears, as his hands continued exploring my body.
"Aemond, not here," I mumbled against his lips, attempting to push him away, but he shook his head.
"Do not torture me by making me wait any longer," he breathed out, and I nodded, unable to tear my eyes away from his needy look.
I lay back fully as Aemond moved to hike my dress up to my hips, granting him access to what he most desired. He began laying small kisses up the inside of my thigh, the pressure making my back arch.
His head was barely visible over the ruffled fabric of my dress, yet the intensity of his actions was unmistakable. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my skin, heightening my anticipation.
His intensity both thrilled and terrified me, and as I felt his mouth travel up my thigh, I was caught between the urge to surrender and the instinct to flee.
When his tongue finally made contact with my most sensitive part, the sensation was overwhelming. A rush of heat surged through me, my legs shook uncontrollably, and my mouth cried out his name in sheer ecstasy.
"Aemond," I gasped, my voice quivering as he continued his ministrations with unrelenting skill. 
My legs trembled, and despite the mounting pressure urging me to close them, Aemond's firm grip kept them spread wide, ensuring he had unrestricted access to my every reaction.
His tongue moved with precision, exploring every inch of my core, driving me to the brink of madness. Just as I felt myself nearing the peak of pleasure, he abruptly stopped. 
My body ached with need, and I couldn't help but let out a frustrated whimper. Before I could protest, his face appeared before me, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
His hands worked to remove my dress, but the intricate laces proved to be a challenge. 
Impatient and driven by desire, Aemond's frustration grew. With one swift, decisive pull, he tore the delicate fabric, the sound of ripping cloth echoing in the room, leaving me completely exposed and vulnerable before him.
I met his gaze, a mixture of anticipation and desire swirling within me. He looked over my body, a hungry stare of appreciation evident in his expression.
He began kissing up my stomach, the trail of his lips moving toward my neck, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin. 
"So beautiful," he murmured, his voice husky with desire. My hands moved instinctively to remove his clothes, needing to feel his skin against mine.
"Eager now?" he asked with a low laugh, amusement dancing in his eyes as he saw my urgency. I nodded quickly, as he helped me, stripping off his clothes with practised ease.
"Are you sure?" he asked one last time, his eyes searching my face for any sign of hesitation. The concern in his gaze was touching, a reminder of the depth of his feelings for me.
"Please," I pleaded, my voice barely more than a whisper. He smirked a confident and knowing expression, before crawling on top of me once more.
His body aligned with mine, the heat of his skin against me sending waves of anticipation through my veins. The world outside the library faded, leaving only the raw intensity of our desire.
"Don't hold back," Aemond murmured, his voice a comforting rumble as he gazed down at me. "I want to hear you, feel you, know everything you're feeling."
As he entered me, the connection between us deepened, binding us together in a way that transcended duty and obligation. It was a union forged in fire, destined to burn brightly through the corridors of power and ambition. 
Our movements were synchronized, driven by a shared need that had been smouldering for years.
He seemed to sense my hesitation and paused, looking deeply into my eyes. 
"It's okay," he whispered gently, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. "I've got you. Just focus on me."
I gasped, my hands clutching at his shoulders as he moved above me. 
The sensation of our bodies joining was both overwhelming and exquisite, a fulfilment of the desire that had been building between us.
"You feel so perfect," he groaned in response, his pace quickening as he buried his face in the curve of my neck. 
"You were made for me," he whispered, the words heavy with possession and reverence, as if by speaking them, he could bind me to him more surely than any vow. "Don't ever forget that."
His words sent a shiver through me, my body responding to the depth of his passion. "I won't," I promised, my voice breathless. "I need you, Aemond. I've always needed you."
"Show me," he urged, lifting his head to look into my eyes. "Show me how much you need me."
Encouraged by his words, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Like this?" I asked, my voice a mix of challenge and invitation.
"Yes, just like that," he groaned, the intensity of his gaze burning into mine. "Don't hold back. Let me feel all of you."
His movements became more deliberate, each thrust deep and measured as if he were trying to imprint himself onto my very soul. I could feel every inch of him moving within me, the friction igniting sparks of pleasure that radiated through my entire being. 
He would pull almost all the way out, leaving me aching with emptiness, only to drive back in with a force that made me gasp, filling me completely.
The sounds of our mingled breaths and whispered names filled the room, creating a symphony of shared desire. His hips moved with a primal urgency, a perfect blend of strength and tenderness, each thrust pushing me closer to the precipice of ecstasy.
His touch was fire, branding my skin with a heat that seared through every nerve, leaving me breathless and wanting.
"Aemond," I cried out as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable peak. "I'm so close."
"Cum for me," he urged his voice a low growl. "I want to feel you shatter."
With his words, the tension within me broke, waves of ecstasy crashing over me. My muscles tightened around him, drawing him deeper as I clung to him, my nails digging into his back as I cried out his name. 
Aemond followed moments later, his own release a powerful, shuddering surge that left us both trembling.
He held me tightly, our bodies still intertwined, as we came down from the heights of our passion. His breath was warm against my skin, his heart pounding in time with mine. 
"You were incredible," he murmured against my hair. "Every part of you."
Just as we settled into the aftermath, the sound of the library door creaking open shattered our intimate cocoon. We froze, eyes wide with shock, as no one other than Aegon stepped into the room, his expression one of disbelief.
For a moment, silence reigned, the three of us suspended in a tableau of surprise. Then, to our astonishment, Aegon burst into laughter, a rich, mocking sound that echoed through the library.
"Well, isn't this a delightful surprise," Aegon said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Carry on, then. Don't let me interrupt."
With that, he turned on his heel and left, still chuckling to himself. The door closed behind him with a definitive thud, leaving Aemond and me staring at each other, the reality of what had just happened sinking in.
For a heartbeat, we remained still, the echo of Aegon's laughter ringing in our ears. As the silence returned, I could feel a wave of uncertainty washing over me, a flicker of guilt I hadn't expected. 
Was this love, or merely the inevitability of our shared fate? I couldn't be certain, but in that moment, with his heart beating in time with mine, I allowed myself to believe in the possibility of both.
Aemond's smirk faded as he caught the change in my expression, his eyes narrowing with concern.
"Do you feel bad about this?" he asked softly, his voice tinged with vulnerability as he gently held my gaze.
I hesitated, my thoughts swirling. "No, it's not that... I just don't know," I admitted, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. "I didn't expect this, and now... I'm not sure what to think."
Aemond's grip on my waist tightened slightly, his hands warm and steady. He leaned closer, his forehead resting gently against mine as he spoke. "We won't do anything like this again until you're sure. I don't want you to feel uncertain or pressured, ever."
His words were firm, but there was a softness to them that made my heart ache. I could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he was trying to protect me, even from himself.
I looked up at him, my breath hitching slightly as I processed what he'd said. "It's not that I don't want this," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I'm just... nervous."
Aemond nodded, his hand moving up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing softly against my skin. 
"We'll take our time," he reassured me, his voice gentle. "No more surprises, no more rushing. I'll wait until you're ready, until you want this as much as I do."
A sense of relief washed over me at his words, the knot of uncertainty in my chest slowly unraveling. I leaned into his touch, finding comfort in the warmth of his hand. 
"Thank you," I murmured, my eyes closing briefly as I allowed myself to relax.
With a final, tender kiss, Aemond pulled me close, his embrace protective and soothing. "You are mine," he whispered.
"Always," I whispered back, the tension in my voice easing as I felt the strength of our connection.
Our bond, once ignited by the fiery blaze of desire, had now mellowed into a gentle ember, glowing with the warmth of understanding and the tender caress of patience.
A/n - Crazyyy
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