#before i recognised him

[nenoname]

"I got campaign confetti in my eyes!"

[secriden]

I woke up this morning still thinking about Fadel waking up in Style's bed.

I wonder what was running through Fadel's head as he turned to look at Style, eyes still squinting against the too-bright morning light, the unfamiliar comfort of the shape of Style's name on his lips for the very first time. I wonder if he was too sleepy to process how strange it was that he didn't really mind being pinned down by the weight of Style's thigh thrown over his hips; that the sensation was grounding and reassuring rather than being confining or suffocating. I wonder if the thought crossed his mind that he wouldn't mind waking up like this again, wouldn't mind letting someone into his space, wouldn't mind giving someone the bared vulnerability of lying naked and unprotected with all the implications of unwavering trust that has -- not if it was with him.

I wonder if Fadel registered the way his heartbeat is steady and calm despite the strange surroundings and unfamiliar bed, because something in him has already labelled the person lying next to him as safe.

I wonder if Fadel even understood that this, right here, in all its quiet and unacknowledged stillness, was the moment he fell in love?

[autumnwhistles]

(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)

grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.

in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.

cut to wild life.

this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.

and yet:

"I'm going to have to kill Joel"

"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"

because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.

there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.

(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)

[lokh]

also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.

[wolves-in-the-world]

it remains so so fun to me that near the end of the cross my heart job (with a kid in danger and very personal stakes) nate tells eliot to take someone's gun with them in the ambulance and eliot doesn't even hesitate.

my memory's a little hazy, but… big bang job aside, last dam job aside, does eliot even do that? pick up a gun without immediately taking the ammo out, and with the possible intention to use it? I really don't think he does.

and we don't even see how it goes. by nate's count the villain's got one more contingency plan in place and we don't even see what it is. we skip straight to the hospital like nothing much happened. and maybe it didn't.

I do think the team would look more rattled if eliot flat out shot or killed someone in front of them. and, y'know, I like and respect the spirit of the canon, the rules they like to follow - that the good guys pretty much win, that nobody drops the idiot ball, that no innocents die on their watch, that the team doesn't outright kill anyone - so I'm inclined to say nothing big happened in the time we missed. but sending a warning shot past someone's ear, or even just shooting out some tires, might not be that big.

and sitting in that ambulance with the gun in his hand keeping an eye out for dangers, running through possibilities, his hands shaking slightly with the possibility that he'll have to do what he's good at again, because nate told him to, and because it's for a good cause, and if he can save a kid to help make up for it all he will--

that, to my mind, is very possible.

and that [mean voice] is what's so fun to me.

(and if he was calm in the moment? if he was focused and methodical and nate's order and the kid's life in the balance carried him through the situation until he had time to unpack what it meant later? that's almost worse.)

[gingermintpepper]

Day 2: Hyacinthus

Interpretation notes and trivia below the cut!

Designing Hyacinthus as well as deciding on a personality for him was one of the first big problem I had to solve when the topic of a retelling came up. In most texts, he exists to be loved and then to die and even then, the focus of his death is not his own but rather on Apollo, the one who loses him. General modernised interpretations of him likewise tend to make him agreeable and inoffensive, the sort of character who is likeable and upright but never challenging or ornery. I didn't like any of those options, so I instead decided to build my Hyacinthus from the ground up - for better or for worse. His red hair is his most striking feature, it is his mother's divine hair colour and he is the only one of her children to have inherited it. Similarly, Hyacinthus is the only one of his mother's children to inherit her magic. While some of his siblings were born with a few passive gifts from their mother (Argalus' 'perfect' memory and Polyboea's affinity for mental calculations and projections, for example) Hyacinthus was born with a talent for sealing and warding magic and thusly, much of his life has been shaped by the pursuit of knowledge and his wish to use his talents to better his kingdom. Much of his good-nature and zeal for life and learning is destroyed by the circumstances of his death and entombment. When he is revived, he is angry, lost, devoid of most of his memories and desperate to fill the missing gaps of his soul. He's selfish and snappish, hurt and desperate to hurt others but, most importantly, he is searching. When he is revived, all the world has heard his story but he is not apart of it. They do not remember Hyacinthus, the mage-prince of Amyclae or Hyacinthus, the teacher of men. They do not speak of Hyacinthus, who charmed the gods for their knowledge or Hyacinthus whose beauty was bested only by his wit - they speak of Apollo and his lost love, Apollo and his grief, Hyacinthus, the lover of the Radiant. One can only hope that he will find whatever it is he is looking for on this journey.

Some fun trivia:

Youngest son in a family of seven, his magic was the catalyst for Clio revealing her true identity as a Muse to her children.

Actually prefers to be called 'Hyacinth' but has made peace with people ignoring his wishes and just calling him Hyacinthus out of habit or formality.

Has an intense resting bitch face and struggles with visibly expressing happiness or sadness. This is also a trait he shares with his mother, though his older sister Hegesandre also shares this feature. Cynortas was technically a part of the resting bitch face club but he practiced smiling and looking cheery so much as a child that now has the opposite problem where he can smile through anything, even pain or anger.

Left home when he was 10 to study at the Parnassus Institute for Gifted Children. The Institute specialises in training the children of the Muses, but occasionally it will take in normal people who show great promise. Hector, who becomes quite close to Hyacinth during their tenure together, was one of those people.

Was recognised by Apollo himself at his graduation and was gifted a laurel wreath. Apollo declared him the Shepherd Laureate which made Hyacinth the third Laureate alive at that time - a status shared only by Orpheus, the Poet Laureate and Asclepius, the Doctor Laureate.

Despite his title, is atrocious with animals and genuinely despises both sheep and goats. Has a mild phobia of goats in particular due to a traumatic incident when he was first climbing the mountain where a particular wild goat absolutely terrorised him. Along with following him for days, it would eat anything he left unattended and even bit and headbutted him numerous times when he would try to wrestle his food back from it. He was so bothered by the title in fact, that he asked Apollo if the designation was a joke at his expense. Apollo never denied that it was a joke but he never confirmed it either.

Exceptional hunter but prefers trapping to hunting by dog or arrow. Has never been one for weapons and much rather prefers to fight bare handed if the occasion arises.

Despite his laurel wreath being such a precious object, Hyacinth has never properly worn it. He wore them around his left bicep after obtaining them and when Polyboea contracted phthisis and needed comforting, he gave them to her as an object that would give her strength. Polyboea was buried with his laurels so he never got the chance to wear the wreath on his head.

His favourite colour is a dark oak brown and his favourite hobby is reading. His favourite food is fish roasted by a river and shared with people he loves. He died at 28 on the first day of Karneios.

[wafflesrisa]

One of them says “in the heat of the moment we were disappointed with each other”

The other says “the biggest problem was involving the media”

Here’s the thing. I believe 100% that there was never any serious beef and that the two talked it out and made up on the plane.

I should really let this go, but even now it seems unfair that the one who blew it up in media gets to say “it wasn’t that deep”, meanwhile the one whose home race and career was insulted is the one who points out the problem was talking to the media in the first place. A problem that has still gone unrecognised in Charles’ comments

I said this last week but I’ll say it again. It’s not fair:

The insults were public. But the apology was only private.

[burningfunobject]

Do you think jayce kinda recognises ekko from benzos??

[sci-bax]

Sebastian Solace sleeping peaceful in 4k hyper resolution oculus meta quest 2 quality

Drew him sleeping cause of this:

Same drawing but without the slight darker filter over it:

I wanna draw fish man angst

Also its 4am so im going to sleep goodnight, or goodmorning idk

[s-sputnik-k]

why is this ds9 episode about a female ferengi who poses as a man so she can become quark's assistant and take 20% of his profit (but ends up falling in love with him but he still thinks she's a man and they end up in a 'only one bed' situation and quark is chill about it because he thinks they're bros but she's having a crisis) actually extremely relateable

I'm sure it has nothing to do with me being a gay trans man navigating new male friend groups while passing for the first time

[ganseyenthusiast]

you know how gansey functionally went deranged after his first death? what if it's the same after his second one? what if henry, with at least some psychic background, knew to expect it, knew to nudge gansey away from the rest of them because gansey would never want to be seen like that by adam, by ronan, by noah... what if the 'road trip' is a thinly veiled excuse for gansey to go full HarrowTM, curled up on the floors and barely stopped from clawing his own eyes out.

he has good days sometimes -- they look at the woods, at silly attractions, let gansey feel better until the weight of rebirth hits him again. and then its damage control, holding him, forcing him to eat, accepting him as he effectively goes through death-withdrawals. it's at one of henry's properties, wild swath of grass for the good days, isolated enough to muffle screams. people try to reach them during td3, definitely, desperate employees of seondeok insisting that it is a matter of the entire world, of all the Roads, we need you in Boston--and it's henry saying he doesn't give a damn about the world right now, he will not let his friend suffer. it's blue shrugging off the pleading look she's given, following henry out of the foyer, because if the choice is gansey or the world, it's really no choice at all.

it's the both of them gently nudging gansey into the most cramped room in the house when everything gets too loud for him, its them letting gansey crush their hands in a painful grip as his body trudges through the ischemia, adjusts, adjusts. it's taking turns so gansey doesn't get overwhelmed. it's putting aside everything for love, for friendship.

he may have come back wrong, because there is no resurrection without consequence, but he has support, and that love is there to nurture without condition

[romionarry]

the rituals are intricate and very comical

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

sits bolt upright in a cold sweat I need to write river/missy

[neuxue]

Mu Nihuang: 你认识林殊吗？// Do you know Lin Shu? Mei Changsu: ……认识。// ...yes. Mu Nihuang: 他是真的战死了？// Did he really die in battle? Mei Changsu: 是。// Yes. Mu Nihuang: 战死的哪里？// Where did he die? Mei Changsu: 梅岭。// Meiling. Mu Nihuang: 尸骨葬于何处？// Where was he laid to rest? Mei Changsu: 七万英魂，天地为墓。// For seventy thousand valiant souls, the earth and sky are their grave. Mu Nihuang: 他的尸骨都没人收？一块遗骸也没有找到吗？// No one retrieved his body? Or any remains at all? Mei Changsu: 战事惨烈，堆尸如山。又有谁能认得谁是林殊呢？// In such a fierce and terrible battle, with bodies piled high as a mountain, who could recognise which was Lin Shu?

when you’re alive but you’re a ghost but the people who knew you look at you like you’re still alive but you’re a ghost: the Mei Changsu Experience™

[spidersins]

i think it's verrry important to note how angel refers to valentino at the hotel

it consists of 'my boss' ( canonically with charlie ), and whenever valentino comes up he shrugs him off with casual dismissiveness, referring to him only as "the boss", "big v" or "overlord." it’s easier that way—easier and less complicated. the closest he gets to admitting it is with husk, referring to himself as val's 'favourite toy'. and still, it's vague, still maintaining the pretence that it's a professional interest.

after all, why dig deeper into something so messy and personal when angel himself doesn’t fully know how to deal with it?

deep down though, angel knows valentino isn’t just his boss. it's more than that—it's always been more than that. he hates how much space val takes up in his mind, how the smallest gesture—an offhanded compliment, a rare moment of affection—can set his heart racing despite the poison in their relationship.

admitting to himself, let alone anyone else, that he once cared about valentino—that he still sometimes misses those moments when love felt real—feels like a betrayal of who he’s trying to be now. the toxic truth of it all makes him sick, and yet there are nights when he lies awake, staring at the ceiling, and remembers the fleeting warmth of thinking he mattered to someone.

he won’t admit to himself, much less to anyone else, how much he cares about valentino—or how much he wants val to care about him in a way that isn’t just transactional. that vulnerability feels like a weakness angel can’t afford to expose, especially not to people like charlie, vaggie, or even husk, who might see through the cracks and judge him for it. so, angel keeps the facade up, biting back the truth and laughing it off with his usual snark and deflection.

[melrosing]

finished my brilliant friend