#before i pissed everyone off
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Ok I lied I have art that was too fun not to share
Listen- I need combative āI hate you bro but I would also die for youā platonic cumplane
I need Shang Quinghua calling Shen Quingqui a hussy and a harlot
I need Shen Quingqui to respond with a full bodied cathartic ābitchā I need them to be venting out frustrations every 2 seconds and ruthlessly gossiping the next. I need them to immediately turn on anyone that talks shit on the other.
Pls for my health.
#svsss#cumplane#but platonic#I feel like it gets touchy when romantic but you do you#shang qinghua#I am a viscious apologist he canāt do anything wrong in my eyes#he needs to let out his anger#in a healthy way#by healthy that is giving enrichment to local mean girl Shen Quingqui#shen quingqiu#needs to be the full on internet troll he was before he died#it is cathartic bc they have to put on masks 24/7 around everyone else#in reality they are extremely close and deeply care for one another#Shen Quingqui in my heart has cursed out Shang Qinghua and told him to his face he was a talented writer and that is what pissed him off#he has made SQH cry with his cursing complaints (positive)#SQH does help him avoid wife plots#pls#for my health#my art bleh
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Here's a big old Fire Emblem Search & Find I did for the FE3H Masquerade Zine! Find the Golden Deer, but see if you can't find the rest of the students as well! For the ultimate challenge, see if you can't name every character! (Disclaimer two characters are NPCs with no names)
#double bonus can you identify the 2 or 3 fe3h characters that AREN'T in the scene?#i say 2 or 3 but i probably forgot more :( im using you people to check my work#fe3h#carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo#fireemblem#im not going to tag everyone but you're welcome too! good luck!!#instead let me tell you about the mini narratives i came up with while drawing this#soren is waiting for Ike to get back with food#seteth just noticed flayn dancing WITH A BOY from afar#rhea was supposed to sing but got superseded (she's okay with it actually)#monica and ferdinand are trying to start a dance off with edelgard and hubert (its not working)#Ashe stepped on Annette's toes and is freaking out. Lorenz is trying to give pointers but it's only sort of helping#balthus absolutely stole some of the betting pool money. i think i forgot to ink the coins falling out of his hands! dang#metody and shahid are going to become great friends and have a wirlwind romance before one betrays the other in a cutthroat fashion#Lysithea left a single cake slice on the table and Miklan is just happy to have gotten his before she showed up#ike and leopold had a flex off#Gilbert is stuck between young lovers this isn't a narrative i just think it's funny#oh and of course Sylvain managing to piss off Sera Charlotte and Maribelle while Felix ignored him and Ingrid looks on#that's supposed to be roy not eliwood btw i forgot to color his headband so it's basically eliwood#that's all i can think of rn but if you played#thank you!!! i hope you had fun#this was SO much fun to make thank you to the mods for facilitating me#haha this post has been up for 20 minutes and people are already pointing out so many characters I forgot. ur keeping me humble
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#asks#leezuhh#when it got announced that the one event got cancelled everyone collectively went 'i bet splatoon pissed that dude off'#i dont know the context of when i saved that image but i had it before this specific tweet lol#anyways u saw that tweet and thought of me ?
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I saw you were asking for doodle reqs, feel free to ignore if thats no longer the case! If youre feeling like it, perhaps a creaking!etho? I hope tge life stuff gets better for you soon!
this turned into a bit Less of a doodle BUT I will never say no to drawing etho
EDITED VERSION with little nature-y things because i originally forgot i wanted to add them (oops) :
#my art#etho fanart#ethoslab fanart#ethoslab#etho#literally what#hermitcraft fanart#i GUESS#trafficblr#i mean it could be. next life series gimmick everyone is the creaking GO#i would watch. i would watch anyway but i would watch.#I FORGOT TO GIVE HIM LITTLE LEAF VINE THINGS AGAIN ASRGRHFGGFHDJDJHSGDHDNXGDHM#im going to murder . a. mosquito. In my rage#anhway hey we just got a new kitten and the stuff that was pissing me off before is over now so yes my life stuff is getting better i think#we havee four cats now and a dog and a bird. so. My happiness should be increased by 600% according to the laws of pet ownership#i dont know why im talking like this hdhcgfh im just in a funky mood i suppose. have my ramblings. treat them with care
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The divine wrath of the stars || "To take a life, one must be given."
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#mochi#art#ocs#original#the stars#ive mentioned this before right??? the thing that activates if a witch breaks her oath of not taking a life??#anyway. Episode ?: For whom the belle tolls#the last battle against the witch king#i think about what it looks like a lot#i dont think any witch has ever seen it#and everyone is pissed off that it activates on mochi of all people#part of me wants her to have a few moments of life so she can have a moment with lime after this happens#but the other more logical part of me thinks this instantly sucks the life out of her and theres no time for goodbyes#her lifeless shell of a body just falls to the ground before anyone can even register what just happened
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake āĀ
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim DrakeĀ ā
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an āefficientā sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isnāt even aware that sheās competing with a whole ass child š heās sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes āfucking amateur I could do betterā)Ā
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim āTen hours of uninterrupted sleep?? Thatās so inefficient not to mention fucking stupidā Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks itās fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours š he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping āfor no reason when he could be doing something productiveāĀ
And he still does this as a bat but itās just easier to tell if he didnāt take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and heās just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc timās saying shit like āThis guys a fucking moron, I couldāve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesnāt he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?ā and āyouāre like all hysterical and for what š¤Ø āyou blew up 83% of Bristol waahā stfu and fucking rebuild it?? Itās only rich mfs that live there, itās just a matter of them opening their fucking walletsā once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with āwell if youāre gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeahāĀ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and heāll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc āIāve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on manā and Timās confused bc āI slept next to you this morning wdym??ā and thatās how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Timās ātime efficient sleep scheduleā nonsense is that it fucking works heās one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or heās been replaced but heās just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no oneās nearby: š heās in the walls šØ heās in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why heās in that particular spot in the wall bc thereās isnāt a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Timās like āyour eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE timesā#then he gestures at Jason āand that one looks like if he didnāt have drug related childhood trauma heād try to snort protein powderā#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies š¤Ø I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason thereās an āacceptable levels of forceā slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie š¤š¾ Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and heās like no thatās just the first page of plan 1 if itās sunny#Rogues: I canāt catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ānever let em know your next moveā Drake whoās been sleep for the past 45 minutes: šµāšµ#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc āthere are children in the wallsā#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever š I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but itās sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe itās time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: thatās what I thought#Bruce: youāre benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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Why aren't there more Wade Wilson x reader fics?? Am I going crazy? I know y'all are freaks where are they at
#i need inspo guys cmonnn#also i did watch Wolverine origins... and that was definitely something#but i did like wade in it before he had everyone's fucking powers what the hell was that about#also i have to go to the doctor's again cause my mouth is fucked up (again)#so im a little pissed off#wade wilson x reader
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Stiles sits in the front row at the funeral.
Heās next to Mellisa, who hasnāt been able to stop crying since she got the news. Stilesā dad had organized the whole thing, talking with the funerary home and picking up the coffin and the arrangements. Heād only asked Melissa what she wanted on the headstone.
Raphael had showed up the day after. For the first time in his life, heād looked a mess, hair everywhere and clothes wrinkled as he stormed into the house asking what had happened to his son, tears already gathering in his eyes before he even got a look at Melissaās face. Stiles hadnāt made fun of him. Stiles hadnāt said anything at all. Raphael sits on Melissaās other side now, and she grips his hand tight enough it turns white. He hasnāt been back for five years.
God, Scott hadnāt seen his had for five years, and now heās dead. Scottās dead.
Stiles thinks it still hasnāt sunk in. Heās in the middle of his best friendās funeral - itās closed casket because his body was so mangled up that the EMPs could barely recognize him. Stiles had heard his dad on the phone with one of his deputies talking about it, before heād realized just whose body they were talking about - and it still hasnāt clicked that Scott wonāt be coming out of his casket, that this isnāt some kind of sick practical joke for getting him out of bed the night before school started.
Stiles is not crying. He hasnāt cried once since hearing the news. His dad is crying, sitting on his other side. Scottās like a second son to him.
Was. Scott was like a second son to him. Was because heās gone now. Because heās dead.
Scottās dead.
His best friend since preschool is dead. His brother is dead. The kindest, most caring person in the world is dead. Stiles goaded him into going to the preserve to look for half a dead body - and God, heās such an asshole. A dead body? What was he even thinking? - and now Scott doesnāt even get to show his face at his own funeral because whatever killed him barely left any of him to bury.
If only heād stayed. If only heād told his dad Scott was with him that night instead of leaving him there. But no, Stiles hadnāt wanted Scott to get grounded because he dragged him out of bed, so heād kept quiet. Even when heād seen the pair of red eyes and thatā that thing in the corner of his eye. Stiles hadnāt said anything. He thought theyād laugh about it at lunch the next day.
Now Scottās dead.
Scott is dead.
And Stiles knows exactly what did it.
(Heās going to fucking kill it.)
#and god will cry out au#stiles is not having a good time#and he's about to make it everyone's problem#or well not everyone's#just derek's#how to piss off every supernatural-related individual in ten days: a guide by stiles stilinski#heās going to speed run this series if it fucking kills him#because heās nothing if not efficient and heās got a great motivator#you think youāre safe from the scrawny human because youāre tough? think again#heās got a baseball bat and his morals died when his friend took the power of friendship with him to the grave#sterek#stiles stilinski#derek hale#eternal sterek#eternalsterek#teen wolf#teen wolf au#teen wolf rewrite#scott is going to be so important even though he's dead#like this boy is going to haunt stiles till the end of times#to clarify scott has no appearances in this universe#stiles is just very guilty#not sure how I feel about scott being importsnt(tm) in any fanfic of mine#but i guess itās okay given the circumstances#i killed him before he got a gf he gets to haunt my narrative
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Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.
Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).
Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**
That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???
I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.
Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.
(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)
*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench
**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#uhhh. not gonna tag the others i dont have time#batman#idk if the zdarsky series has its own tag#anyway yeah. i saw some interesting discussions surrounding 149 and it got me thinking#the experience of reading the issue is inoffensive until i remember how we got here and then all of a sudden i start to feel downright evil#the bruce/zur separation thing pisses me off so bad. MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE JUST SAYING LAST ISSUE THAT NONE OF IT WAS HIM#and maybe we were meant to agree w Bruce and not Jason in that issue but if that's the case. piss poor job demonstrating it#Bruce never really faces like. interpersonal consequences from the family that last beyond an issue#which is WILD considering the shit he pulled back before they knew he was having a menty b (mental breakdown for those who dont know)#the damian thing is just like. its such clear author bias in ways both lowkey funny and also. not funny. at all#i know a lot of ppl on here didnt vibe w/ batman and robin by joshua williamson but like#i cannot stress enough how he was one of the ONLY ppl in damians corner and now hes leaving that series#he says he approves of the new creative teams assigned but also they're his coworkers. so i dont trust SHIT until its in my hands#anyway one day I'll give a more good faith reading of zdarskys Batman and i do wanna read his daredevil some day#but as it stands he suffers from terminal ''has seemingly never read a comic not abt my special white boys and refuses to try''#which means everyone is going to have to suffer through my haterism#also sorry for no images. i really want to but i just don't have the wherewithal to do alt text rn
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Anyone else in US cities been noticing drivers getting MARKEDLY shittier in the past year or so, particularly wrt running red lights. Like I swear to god I see at least one person speeding through a fully red light at LEAST once daily in my 40 minute round trip commute, usually more like 3-4 times. Or like Iāll be at a full stop at a red light and someone swerves into the turn lane to go around me and run it, at least once a week.
#Today I stopped at a yellow light that I absolutely could not have made it across and the guy behind me lays on his#fucking horn and peels off around me into the turn lane to run the red#And itās like. Not that this would be okay in Any circumstance but itās not like Iām driving at a fucking#snails pace and pissing everyone behind me off like Iāll hit a risky yellow light if Iām confident Iāll be across before it goes red#I think this is something Bigger#Other people Iāve talked to where I live have been noticing this too Iām wondering if this is like. Localized or not
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#Some pissed off TJ cause we love pissed off TJ#The fact that these are all because of Carl lol#I also really like how when he goes off on Carl you can kinda see Jenna in what he says#like you can tell that heās likely talked to her about him which makes sense given everyoneās relationships#My art#echo vn#tj Hess#echo spoilers#Anyway~ off to bed before my exams tomorrow :P
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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It was crazy watching bkdk go from the most hated ship to the most popular ship in the fandom
#idk something i was thinking about#i also used to not like it if i'm being completely honest#i used to be a big td dk shipper#i still like them too!! i just like bkdk more nowadays#i remember when you could say āi like bakudekuā and everyone would move 10 feet away from you and act like you're a witch#i was in an amino group chat (LMAO) and tentatively said āi like bakudekuā and someone was like ābakudeku is so toxic whyā and i was like#āoh fuck i don't wanna disrupt the harmony of the group chatā so then i backtracked and i was like āhaha yeah i only like them in AUsā#to that person i like them canon compliant the most and always have i lied sorry#bkdk#bakudeku#katsudeku#side note the big reason i stopped being so into td dk is bc at the point where i JUST started liking bkdk i didn't like how a bunch of#td dk shippers would treat katsuki like he was izuku's toxic ex or something or they would use td dk to shit on bkdk#idk how that is nowadays but i used to see it in fic and it kinda just pissed me off too much so i had to step away š#i am a multishipper for life tho i'll go back to them someday. also tdbkdk is really good too.#i spaced out td dk so it doesn't show in their tags i hope it works š if it doesn't i love them please believe me#I DO REMEMBER THIS ONE REALLY GOOD VILLAIN DEKU FIC I WAS READING BEFORE STEPPING AWAY FROM THE SHIP#i think it was unfinished i can't remember the name :(
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Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?
You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.
You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.
You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do thisāhow could you do thisā
you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."
Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.
#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e77#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#bells hells#just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise#but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh?#edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies#since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne??#anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top#other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post#i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible.#but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the#other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under.#hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious?#it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will#all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an#overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were#for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne..#there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior#as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT.#ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL#cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to āforceā her into anything the pressure was THERE.#<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post.#im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho.#im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN#be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree
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Since I've shared more of my reading interests on here lately, I thought I'd share my rant about the insanity of the book The Princess Bride by William Goldman. Yes. This is the book that is the same story as the popular older movie The Princess Bride.
I'll start this by saying I've never been so affronted by a book before. The closest would be the ending of the first Mortal Engines books (which if you know you know). That ending actually drove me nuts enough that I recall it quite often when thinking about insane books. However, the Princess Bride blows that chaos out of the water.
Not only is the book halted by a lot of extra nonsense that the author throws in of his own thoughts and opinions because part of the story is that he is retelling a book he read as a child and abridging it. The book in question doesn't exist so this is all made up and fantastical. I'm usually down for the silly and extra from writers. I've read Good Omens and plan to read some of the Discworld series sooner rather than later. I obviously recently finished the Hobbit and LoTR. But that is the fun silly that I love. Whatever the fuck is in the Princess Bride bridges on insanity.
The book is mostly the same as the movie EXCEPT for the ending. In the movie, it ends with Buttercup, Westley, Fezzik and Inigo riding off. In the book, it goes further. In to the most insane shit I've ever read in a published book. It's genuinely insane crack fic level material.
Like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY GET SAVED BY THE PIRATES FROM THE PRINCE'S SOLIDERS BUT HAVE TO LEAVE THE BOAT IN WHICH FEZZIK IS INCHARGE OF ROWING. HE ROWS THEM INTO A WHIRLPOOL WHICH IS WHEN WESTLEY SPEAKS UP AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO SWIM THROUGH THE WHIRLPOOL TO GET TO AN INASSECIBLE ISLAND WHERE THE PRINCE CANT FOLLOW. THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BUTTERCUP WHILE THEY ARE CHILLING ESSENTIALLY TURNS TO WESTLEY AND SAYS LETS HAVE SEX FINALLY. THAT SEX GETS BUTTERCUP PREGNANT WHICH ENDS UP LEADING TO A BIRTH WHERE THE BABY IS BACKWARDS AND TANGLED AND POTENTIAL WILL DIE ONLY FOR FEZZIK IS GET FUCKING POSSESSED AND SHOW UP AND DELIVERY THE BABY SAFELY. THEN THERES A TIME JUMP TO WHERE FEZZIK IS SAVING THE BABY AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE JUMPS OFF A CLIFF TO SAVE HER AND THANKFULLY THEY SURVIVE BUT THATS WHERE THE BOOK FUCKING ENDS.
WHAT THE GENUIENE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS BOOK. WHAT THE FUCK
#ive genuinely never lost my mind this hard over a book#how is this thing real#it gives like 1k words chaos crack fic vibes like the ones that are so silly its almost nonsensical#this is a published book from the 80s or 90s#what the fuck#im#like im absolutely here for silly world building and shit like that but not this#this will haunt me forever#i thought i was going to get a cheezy romantic story and maybe them settling down after the events but NO#I GOT LITERAL INSANITY#WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK#i wanted a quick fun read before jumping into another large fantasy series thats all i wanted#princess bride#the princess bride#the princess bride book#(also if you have read this far and are okay with spoilers mortal engines pissed me off because the author literally kills everyone but the#two main characters in literally the last 10-15 pages. that was a book i threw across the room after finishing)
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a 3 year toxic & abusive friendship just ended y'all! he literally got mad at me for spending MY money i set aside ages ago for something i wanted ( acheron ) & today msged me an ultimatum about our friendship while putting me down, expecting me to piss shit & cry & i DIDN'T & instead stood my ground & called him out on being a controller who doesn't see me as a person with a savior complex so he DIPPED! ā” ( not without the classic ' i'm sorry u feel that way ' & ' caring for my friend is NOT a savior complex ' & making it all about himself u best believe it was OUTSTANDING but i literally don't care i've cried so much over u )
if the new trend is a breakup at the start of every year & it means decluttering my life of incessant negativity, then honestly i am HERE FOR IT
#š ( ooc . )#FREE. FREE LIKE A CYBERBIRD#throwback to about 2 months ago#him: have u gotten to the spot in zelda yet#me: no i been cooking and running around unlocking my map and collecting stuff#him: even after i went through all that trouble making a roadmap for you? it's almost like you enjoy PISSING ME OFF.#( me silently crying on the phone )#a real exchange we had over totk bc i wouldnt play the game the way he wanted me to#and ran around for like fifty hours without advancing the plot LOL#yes this is also the friend i mentioned meeting irl who made me miserable#had me crying in the street over a pastry#he just became a very mean person. he's no longer who i met#he's undiagnosed bipolar disorder it's very apparent to me and everyone around him#his sister and i literally discussed it when i went to meet him in person bc she saw how fucking miserable i was#and he's told me before he can't keep friendships so yeah. he is the common denominator here
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