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flowerandthesongstress · 2 years ago

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The (renewed and shortened) Masterpost of 2020-2024, i.e. Muh Stuff In English.

The majority of my works are heavy on subtext. Some are allegories. Most are roman-à-clef aka autofiction.

Immigration, ‘otherness’, and the search for belonging are the ever-present themes in everything I have ever written, so I’ll omit the repetition; they’re there by default, always.

My writing is free and hopefully will always remain so. But please be considerate and remember that ‘free’ does not equal ‘public domain’ or ‘free to reuse, repost, plagiarize, or skim for ideas’. 'Free' in this case means that 1) I'm lucky enough to afford not to monetize my writing, and 2) I write things that are too personal to monetize them, anyway.

Before contacting me, please🙏 read the annotation at the end of this post, starting with the words in red. Seriously. I BEG you. Please don't skip it.

The short version:

—some of the stuff remains here. I also post gifts and request fills to that account once in a blue moon.

—some stuff was transferred out of sight to here and/or locked to users only.

—some request fills and short stuff (under 15k words) can be found through #mywritingupdates tag.

—85% of the other stuff now is, and will likely remain, available only via poking me through my contacts (and not being a fantastical douchebag, because fantastical douchebags are the reason why this hoop had to be hung).

The long version:

Beauty and the Best friends forever — Gen, F/M/M, rated T. Word count: 75k. Themes: found family, abandonment issues, patience, depression, the power of friendship, Everything About The Shithole Is Either Ridiculous And Stupid Or An Evil Void Of Horror. Tagged as ‘if you only read one work by me’, not because it’s the best I've written — far from it — but for other reasons. The designated talking animal: a few demonic chickens.

The Largest Eggplant in the Valley — F/M, rated E. Word count: 110k. Themes: ADHD, executive dysfunction, honesty, communication, compassion fatigue, hospitality, cultural stagnation, expressing yourself through fiction, traditions and superstitions, breaking out of intergenerational trauma. Is the dorkiest, sweetest, cutest thing I’ve ever written. The designated talking animal: a bear. (removed as of 2024, with a fool's hope for better times) Available on request (see the pinned post for contacts and all that). (the remaining carcass). (playlist)

Hive — F/M/M, rated E. Word count the tractor is okay, but he runs on soup, not on gas: 128k. Themes: CPTSD and recovery, when it's not my paws aching, it's my tail falling off abandonment issues, capitalism, societal pressure, and I barely catch mice anymore found family, urbanism vs ruralism, personal growth through emotional support, I recently started moulting social anxiety, Hey You Check Your Internalized Misogyny, environmental issues, hereditary my nose is cold and my shagginess has increased mental illnesses. /I doubt that any passerby was reading Hive for allegories, so let's just leave *that* historical layer be... Yet if you caught it, the drinks are on me. All of the drinks, bruh. And ALL of the ice cream. / AMt🐝 series. the shopkeepers here know me and give me juicy bones for free The designated talking animal: a cat. (playlist)

Wrong Shoulder — the beequel; F/M, F/M/M, rated DIAF. Word count: 270k. On the surface: three people (last seen beekeeping and prettying up a hamlet), each with their individual ongoing grievances and fresh traumas, meet and hit it off in a vast resort hotel situated in a charming coastal town. Following at their heels are an overly cheeky voice and the mysterious number 20, but the latter feels natural somehow. Underneath the surface: several mindscape allegories awkwardly climbing atop one another in the name of self-therapizing + a nesting doll of story layers (or is it). Themes: internalized ableism, recovery from addiction, making friends with the Shadow Self, creativity vs consumerism, My Life Results Tripled The Year I Gave Up Hope And That One Other Thing. The designated talking animal: the same cat, but he’s now a bipedal and rants at everyone. He's also totes getting a cute girlfriend or two. AMt🐝 series. Available on request. (see the pinned post) (the same playlist)

Don’t Remember — F/M, F/MMM, F/F, F/F/M, FF/MM etc, rated Very E. Word count: 90k (WIP, but it's plotless smut/domesticity). Initially a parody of the godawful ‘aunt polly writes poly’ ‘reverse harem’ ‘genre’ that got popularized and westernized on wutpad; somehow turned into a straightforward depiction of an adorkable ND polycule living a wholesome rural life and being happy. Contains all of the compersion and hugs (and recipes? and gardening tips?!). This one is just for funsies and comfort. And for bleaching my brain. The designated talking animal: a unicorn. AMt🐝 series. Available on request (see the pinned post).

Lawful Status — F🥺M🥹. Rated: yes. Word count: 90k (WIP). Just a slow-burn romance between a teenage girl and a demon, with some wholesome family dynamics, taking place in an urban fantasy, nothing else, pinky swear... damn, almost kept a straight face 😆. It's an allegory of Inner Child Therapy. Also, I'm keeping count of how many tropes I can rip apart in this one. To then resew them into a soft warm blankie. I love this work so mUCH and it actually is the best I've written in English so far, it's a goddamn cabbage. The designated talking animal: the previous unicorn's better-coping brother. AMt🐝 series. Available on request (see the pinned post).

Frogs all the way down — F/M/M, rated M to E. Word count: 33k (WIP but it's an anthology). a toxic cesspool traumatized me so much that now I can only touch it through the double-padded cozy soft protective gloves graciously provided by a friend Yo dawg, I love your fanfiction so much that I’m writing fanfiction of your fanfiction, and it's about a character writing fanfiction. Themes: ADHD, executive dysfunction, personal growth, friendship, emotional support, processing trauma through fiction, communication, honesty. The designated talking animal: ow maaan where do I even friggin’ start.

The not-so-Great Filter — F/M, rated E. Word count: 105k. Themes: dealing with the loss of a parent, lookism, culturally ingrained fear of intimacy, Adulting Be Hard, existential nihilism meets tacos, Sad Clown Paradox meets the Fermi Paradox, East meets West but they're both Asia, My Life Results Tripled The Year I Gave Up Hope And That One Other Thing. The designated talking animal: ‘Not this time’. ;-) (playlist)

Until You Meet Yourself and to get you home — F/M, rated T to E. Word count: 40k. Just a bunch of one-shots, mostly written as gifts for my SO. Themes: insecurities, social anxiety, non-verbal communication of affection. (removed as of 2024, with a fool's hope for better times.) Available on request. (the remaining carcass) (playlist)

Pelicans, shmelicans! — F/M, rated T to M. Word count: 16k. Themes: childhood friendships, peer pressure, Being a Teenager Is Pain, anger management.

FatS — F/M, F/M/M, rated E. Word count: 280k. Themes: CPTSD and recovery, insecurities, personal growth, personal accountability, Organized Religion Bad, mood disorders, colonialism, psychedelic drugs, Why Our Brains Can't Communism Until We're All On Acid. The designated talking animal: suspiciously absent, unless you count the guy in the cat t-shirt. Removed (reasons), available on request.

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Please also note that I am NOT in any fandoms or interested in any 'blorbos'; merely using ready-made worlds sometimes, as handy outlets to channel personal stuff and write my loved ones into them*. And occasionally attach funny ears to said loved ones. Point being, you don’t need to be in any fandoms or know any canons in order to read and understand, either. Another important point, though: if you are strictly after fanfiction and blorbos, then I am not your gal. As in, I am not the author for you and you are not a reader for me.

* as there's been some substantial confusion, I'm editing the post to explain what I mean...

It's very handy when one doesn't need to labor over twenty archetypal background characters and a detailed infrastructure. A ready-made world: get to write and process your personal issues through that writing without bothering to invent where the grocery store is located. Super mega convenient.

Or so I thought.

I have since realized my mistake, my ignorance, and my naiveté, and how they were caused by a different cultural context. I have since withdrawn — after going through a brutal bout of culture shock — and corrected that unfortunate mistake, via deleting everything I could still delete and building all of the necessary ‘infrastructure’ at home; as in, I created my own world that metaphorically represents my brain, with every aspect of that world signifying one of my brain areas and/or functions, and with everyone I know written into that world as fixtures. And I just quietly churn out novels set in that world and then share those novels with friends and loved ones and friend-shaped people who poke me directly. Or with no one at all (in which case the novels in question are simply not on this list).

To reiterate: 1) I am fandomless. That fictional thing you think I'm invested in? I'm not invested in it. In fact, that thing may be a trigger now (exempli gratia: a certain farming simulator). That 'blorbo' you think I like? I do not. I like real non-fictional people. I prefer to write various fictionalized versions of my relationships with them. Why do this? In very-very short: fear. Existential fear. Fear of loss, fear of their death, wanting to tuck us away into better places where we're safe from both, because there's magic there etc. Another example: I love to metaphorically kill off a certain country, sometimes in the silliest ways possible, every chance I get (I'm sorry for what I have been doing to Lewis all this time... I made my own idiotic old-fart 'mayor' to repeatedly kill off now; minus the joke in Eggplant, I'm not sorry for that, I love that joke and we still quote parts of it at home) for the purposes of emotional catharsis. In reality, that country is an evil gerontocratic dictatorship that wants me and my loved ones dead. Laughter helps sometimes. Stuff like that... As I said, it's for self-soothing. Coping. Dealing. Attempts at trauma recovery. Terror management. Call it whatever.

2) if you understand and accept that, I would be happy to hear from you and would absolutely love to have you as a reader 🤗

3) however, if you're only after fanfiction and light entertainment and certain names—as in, if you wish to commodify me and separate me from my stories—then I'm not the writer for you and you're not a reader for me, and we should just go our separate (pun intended) ways asap.

4) sidenote: if you are a good person who is invested in a Thing I never heard of, I can actually acquaint myself with the Thing and write something for you! There's been multiple precedents. Not like I'm against the general idea, and I love writing requests and making good people smile and feel happy. But, dear fren, please understand that me doing so would not mean that I am now invested in the Thing. I'll just hand you a lopsided gift (it will likely be something comedic), give you a hug, and go back into the sandbox in my dark corner. Safer this way.

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