#been watching playthroughs and getting sad

[si-fii]

Metal Gay Solid or something

| art tumblr | instagram |

[infizero]

grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning

[4giorno]

i sweeeeear to god if i see a single clip or image of any new kiss animations astari0n may or may not have received before i make it to act 3 again......... ill turn rabid

[maybeamiles]

Duuuuuude persona 3 made me cry so fuckin hard... got me missing people fr fr.

[stardust-make-a-wish]

.💭

[lonely-cowboy]

without you

pairing: connor (rk800) x gn!reader

summary: it's been almost three days since you last saw connor. with the ongoing revolution, you're concerned about his whereabouts. and if you'll ever see him again.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: occasional cursing but that's it

author's note: let me paint a little picture for y'all. it's currently 1am and i'm sitting on the couch in the dark sobbing like a baby bc i just finished my very first playthrough of dbh and didn't even realize i was near the end and i hate that it's over (i'm just gonna play again). anyway! my solution to stop (worsen) my sad lonely thoughts was to write this! yippee! healthy coping!

masterlist ⟡ requests

You were never a fan of staying home all day and lounging around in your pajamas doing absolutely nothing. You felt unproductive, like you were wasting time. And if there was one thing you hated more than anything, it was wasting time.

But– like anything– there were some exceptions. The most common exceptions were the days after an intense investigation, mostly those involving considerable physical exertion (which really just meant any form of running). Those days, your body was so unbelievably sore that it was almost necessary for you to stay in bed and do nothing all day. Besides that, the only other exception was the occasional rainy day. 

And now. Now was an exception too.

It was nearing three days since you had last seen Connor. Usually, that wouldn’t have bothered you. Three days was nothing. It was always possible that the two of you were just far too overwhelmed with work to see each other. But with the rising android revolution that threatened Connor’s life– and that of any android– you immediately assumed the worst.

Huddled on your couch, you stared blankly at the muted television as it flashed between news stations. You weren’t really paying attention anymore, too consumed by thoughts of Connor. You pulled your blanket tighter around your shoulders, eyebrows furrowing with concern.

Truthfully, you hadn’t known Connor that long. Sure, you worked with him frequently to investigate the sudden rise in deviants, but in the grand scheme of things, it felt like you had just met him. Of course, that didn’t stop Connor from burrowing his way into your heart with those soft doe eyes and that gentle, slightly confused smile. You had a soft spot for him now, so it was perfectly reasonable that you couldn’t help but worry for his safety. 

You released a heavy sigh as you turned off the television, trying to shake away any negative thoughts. With narrowed eyes, you glanced at the other end of the couch where Hank had been sitting almost three hours ago. He had been checking in on you frequently the last few days to make sure you were– at the very least– living, though he would never admit it. Whenever he did stop by, it was always because he “forgot his jacket” or “couldn’t watch the Detroit Gears game at home.” Whatever lame excuse he came up with, it was always intended to ensure you were okay. 

Today’s lame excuse was that he ran out of beer and didn’t want to go to the store during such a “crazy fucking time.” That ended with the two of you sitting in silence on your couch, watching the television for any sign that Connor might be okay. In your book, that just meant he wasn’t dead.

But eventually, Hank had been pulled away to the precinct for whatever reason. He promised he’d make it short. He was reluctant to go anyway, so he wouldn’t be gone long. Three hours felt pretty fucking long to you.

You pursed your lips worriedly, forgetting Connor for a moment as your mind was now focused on Hank’s safety. What if he somehow got himself tangled up in this revolution? What if he managed to get caught in some wild crossfire with no means of telling you?

No, that was crazy. You were being irrational. Surely he just decided to brave going to the store to get some more beer once he left the precinct, right? That made so much sense. Obviously, he was outside your apartment building right now struggling to get in because he didn’t have a key and was too preoccupied carrying his mountains of beer. Obviously…

Without thinking, you scurried into your closet and pulled on your warmest clothes. You threw your thickest jacket over your pajamas, not bothering to hide your snowflake pajama pants. You pulled on your shoes and a beanie, ignoring the way it matted your hair. Then, you were out the door and rushing downstairs with the belief that you could miraculously manifest Hank’s presence.

There was no other explanation. You were blessed with some magical powers that you were yet to understand because as you marched into the snow, Hank suddenly appeared. You didn’t stop until you were jabbing a finger into his chest, glaring up at his towering figure.

“What is wrong with you?” you seethed. “You can’t just leave like that!”

Hank sighed with what sounded like irritation, though you knew he could never be irritated with you. He raised his hands in mock surrender as he grumbled, “Sorry, kid, I–”

“Oh, no, no, no! I’m not done!” you growled, choosing to ignore that maybe you were being a little overdramatic. What’s life without a little drama anyway? “You had me fucking worried, Hank! I’m already worried sick about Connor, I don’t have the energy to worry about both of you!”

Hank said your name in an attempt to stop you, but it was no use. Now that you had an outlet to channel your jumble of emotions, you were going to let them all out.

“I mean, you’ve seen me, Hank! I can barely get out of bed because of that goddamn android!” you shouted. “His safety is the only thing on my–”

Hank rolled his eyes as he grumbled something about how he was “tired of this shit” that didn’t involve him. That only seemed to fuel your fire, the crease between your brows deepening with anger and worry. You opened your mouth again to yell at Hank as he stepped aside, but you quickly shut it once you noticed the figure standing bashfully behind him.  

Connor stood a few feet away having clearly been told to stay put once Hank saw your angry self storming out of the apartment building. His hands were clasped neatly behind his back, standing tall against the harsh winter winds. His eyes were already on you, watching you with a warm glint. When you met his gaze, the corners of his lips turned upwards into a small, unsure smile. 

Compared to him, you were sure you looked absolutely stupid. No, no matter what you looked completely stupid. You stared at Connor with absurdly wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a confused fish. You were so baffled by his appearance that you couldn’t even move, no wonder the poor man was confused. All this while wearing your stupid fucking snowflake pajamas.

Neither of you made any effort to close the uncomfortable distance between the two of you. You were thankful that Hank managed to find his way back into your apartment building because you would be a doubly flustered mess if he saw how awkward the two of you were. At least Connor made some effort to communicate. He raised a hand in an awkward wave, his soft voice barely heard over the din of the wind. 

“Hello.”

Your feet were moving before your brain could catch up. You sprinted towards Connor– though it was more of a fast waddle if anything– and pulled him into a tight hug. A heavy sigh of relief left your lips as you felt his firm body against you, inhaling his scent slowly. He was real.

You squeezed him a little tighter, burying your head into his chest. It was as if you didn’t want to let him go, and truthfully, you didn’t. You couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.

Connor’s arms wrapped lightly around your body. He leaned into your touch, relaxing in your arms with a comforted grin. Until you, he had no idea what it was like to be cared for. Perhaps the greatest gift of consciousness was your affection.

Connor murmured your name in a quiet rasp, his lips moving against your hair. He reared back to catch your eyes, but you refused to let him. You just held him closer and allowed yourself to calm in his presence. When you finally did pull away, you glanced at him with a confusing look of joy, sadness, and anger.

“I didn’t think you were ever coming back,” you mumbled, letting the words spill out. “I was so scared… Connor, I… God, I missed you…”

There was a beat of silence as Connor’s LED spiraled yellow, his head tilted to the slightest degree. It seemed as if he was struggling to find the right words out.

“I…,” Connor started hoarsely. “I think… I missed you too.”

Despite the whirlwind of emotions you felt, you couldn’t help but laugh at Connor’s words. A small smile traced your lips as you studied him with furrowed brows.

“You think?” you repeated with another quiet laugh, your breath pluming in the cold air.

Connor paused again, his LED flashing yellow once more. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it as he considered his words a moment longer. He was looking into the distance, but when he glanced back down to you it was as if all the right words suddenly came to him.

“I don’t know what it feels like to miss someone,” he explained softly. “But I think… I think this is what it would feel like. I felt… I don’t know… there was a tightness inside of me when I thought I would never see you again. Is that what it’s like to miss someone?”

Your grin widened as Connor spoke. A tinge of pink coated your cheeks, and you were sure it wasn’t just from the cold.

“Maybe I’m biased, but yeah, I think so,” you answered sweetly.

“Oh,” Connor muttered as he took a moment to process that information. “Then, yes. It appears I did miss you.”

Your chest felt light from the joy of having Connor back. You were so giddy, in fact, that you didn’t even think before you were leaning forward and pressing a delicate kiss to Connor’s cheek. It was only when you pulled away that you realized what you had done, your face heating with embarrassment.

You glanced at Connor worriedly and noticed the faint blue coloring along his cheeks. It almost made you laugh seeing such a confident android turned into such a poor, flustered mess. Well, you took his silence to mean his was flustered, but his silence lasted so long that you weren’t so sure anymore.

“Connor?” you asked. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Connor replied immediately. “I was searching my database for the best way to greet someone you missed.”

It was your turn to be flustered again, eyes going wide with surprise as you murmured, “Oh. And… what did you find?”

Connor’s gaze finally focused back on you, his expression neutral aside from his fading blush. The corner of his lip quirked up slightly as his eyes searched your face like he was memorizing every little detail.

“I found that the best way to convey you missed someone is by kissing them, as you’ve done to me,” he answered in his typical matter-of-fact tone. “However, whereas you kissed my cheek, I noticed that most people kiss on the lips. I’d like to do the same if that’s alright with you.”

Your stunned silence must’ve been enough of an answer for Connor because he leaned forward with a grin. His warm hands moved to hold your cheeks, fighting off the evening chill. Your hands immediately moved to rest over top his, seeking out his warmth while his soft lips moved against yours. He pulled away far too soon for your liking, but he rested his forehead against yours as he whispered sweet words against your skin. 

“I missed you too.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

author's note: i hope you enjoyed! this is my very first post ever, so i'm a little nervous! if you have any constructive (and kind) criticism, please lmk! and if you have any requests i'd love to hear those too :)

[snapscube]

Ms. Olivia I’m having so much fun watching your streams of Sonic and The Black Knight I can’t thank you enough.

This has been the most validating playthrough stream I’ve ever been blessed with bar none. I loved this game since I was a kid but watching other streamers has always been kind of lacking, since stuff like the gallery or the fanart clips and even the five-star guide videos often get totally ignored. It’s honestly understandable for people who are here only to play the game, but it made me so excited to see you & Mar encounter all those great bonuses that often don’t get any attention in an average playthrough.

I’m glad you found so much joy in playing this admittedly still-very-janky game. Thank you for sharing the experience with everyone on stream <3

i appreciate this!!! :D i thought all the bonus stuff was super cool im sad to hear not a lot of people take note of it!

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Cod Men in a Dating Sim

Requested: No

Warnings: Light bit of angst

A/N: Did I watch a bunch of (and by that I mean 3) dating games just so I could get inspiration for this? ……Maybe

Ghost - The Punk/Goth Guy

By far the hardest and most frustrating character to romance, Ghost’s route leaves even the most seasoned completionist in tears. People who attempt to do playthroughs of the game won’t even attempt it, and much of his route is virtually unknown. His trust is hard won and easily lost, even the tiniest of mistakes will affect your whole game with him, to the point that you could very well lose all progress with him at any point. There have been demands and petitions for the devs to change his route, calling him stupidly difficult, not worth the effort it takes. Oh but those select few who get to peek behind the curtain? Those that get to woo him and make him blush, who truly hold his heart? They’re in love, will defend him and his horrible jokes and his sad boi personality until they die.

Soap - The Himbo Jock

Soap, the cheerful and upbeat type. Always doing some sort of high energy sport in his free time, his happiness infecting you everytime you two cross paths, his smile only growing bigger every time you both talk. He always wants to be doing something with you, his arm around your waist, loud and happy and brighter than the sun. Doesn’t matter what type of activity you like doing, he wants to be doing it with you. His route is the easiest to get through and his charm draws in all kinds of people, making him almost unanimously loved through the fandom of the game. To the point that people recommending the game always say that you should start with his route first. He’s kind of the poster boy of the whole game at this point.

König - The Shy Guy

König, the sweet librarian at your local library, always so kind but painfully shy when you try and talk to him. Books almost always clutched to his chest, twiddling his thumbs and ducking his head with a blush rising under his mask if you make even the slightest attempt to get close to him, an absolute mess if you flirt with him. He’s the adorable sweetheart of the game that, even if you don’t want to romance him, is just nice and adorable in general. But when you really get into his route, he is so flirty. Granted it’s only when he thinks you can’t hear (unaware that he has literal subtitles telling you what he says). And he gets so protective, always offering to walk you everywhere and just generally tending to stick around you and show you all sorts of things he enjoys, always eager when you return the favor and show him your own favorite things.

Alejandro - The Flirt

Alejandro likely met you through your mutual friend in the game, Rudy. Coming to visit his old pal and meets you at his home, instantly all over you, suave flirtations leaving his lips every other second as he tries to get you alone every chance he can get, much to Rudy’s annoyance. At first it’s a bit of a game, just another blip in the back of his mind, nothing serious. But as time goes on, it becomes more and more serious, more genuine. His advances start to become a bit softer but now carry real feelings in them. He’s a character that many think is too sleazy at first but come to adore him and his sweet nature as you progress through his route. He’s not as loved of a character as Soap but he is in the top three, tied with Rudy.

Rudy - The Best Friend

Rudy. Sweet adorable lovable Rudy. He is the character who plays the role of the best friend with the long time crush. Very poorly hidden crush by the way. He’s never very bold with his words but his actions communicate his feelings very well. He’s always happy to talk to you, and even listens to you if you’re trying to romance another character and something goes awry. It hurts him but he puts on a good act, even if he distances a bit from you upon learning of your feelings for a different character. His sweet and supportive personality is why he ties with Alejandro in the top three favorites, and many adore him and enjoy repetitively romancing him, never seeming to get bored of finding all his secrets.

[maxwellatoms]

Do you have a favorite of your own characters? Or certain ones that you feel particularly connected to? I feel like creators tend to put bits of themselves into their characters--are any of them like that for you? Just wanna say your work is a huge inspiration to me and really helped shape my art and taste in media growing up, thanks for putting your work out into the world!!!

Theoretically, I love them all.

They're all a part of me in some way.

I've discovered over the years that I just can't handle characters I can't relate to. Most specifically, Billy, Mandy, and Grim are major facets of my personality. I purposefully related them to Freud's Id, Ego, and Superego, but they're all very specifically also a part of who I am. Billy is my fun-loving lust for freedom from schedules and consequences. Mandy is the part of me that realizes that Billy will destroy us all, so there must be structure. Grim is just trying to live his life. He wants to watch TV and pet cats, but life (unlife?) just won't give him a break. He's the viewpoint character to my Asperger's.

Irwin is the sad-sack/misguided hero redeemed, which is always a trope I love.

Eris is specifically the Discordian Eris, but also the extreme end of that Billy lust for freedom and the will of the RNG gods. (Good gravy -- my current BG3 playthrough)

Nergal is my love for Lovecraftian/Howardian Mesopotamian deities as has-beens.

Jeff the Spider (quite literally me at the time of his inception) was Too Nice, and therefore a sucker.

Hoss Delgado is the knowledge that if you gaze too long into the abyss... you end up with a chainsaw for a leg.

Then (because this is a collaboration) you've got characters who are primarily created by and representative of other people. For example, Fred Fredburger was created by C.H. Greenblatt. Sperg was created by Gord Zajac (as was Hoss, really). Boogey was created by Spencer Laudiero. All of these artists infused some piece of themselves into the character.

This is (IMO) where it gets fun. It's the ultimate Role Playing Game. It's childhood play made manifest. I've got my Luke Skywalker figure and you've got your Darth Vader figure and we've got two COBRA H.I.S.S. tanks and a Muffy from Battlestar Galactica and we're gonna hash this shit out.

Ideally, I think I'd want a "Simpsons World". A world where there are zero (or as close as possible) extraneous characters. Everyone represents something and everyone matters. I was so close with B&M. Fingers crossed I get there one day.

[maybecoffeemixed]

MAIN PLOT LINE OF DLC HAS BEEN FINISHED, SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (long post, be warned)

7.8/10, kieran doesn't actually kill us.

Seriously though, I enjoyed it!! Since I don't actually own the game (we poor), I watched a no-commentary playthrough so there are plenty of things I very likely missed, including optional dialog, side-quests, and whatever that thing with the professors is (still lookin' for a video without some guy over it), so I can only comment on the bits I saw! That being said, here we go.

First of all, the BATTLES!! Despite not being able to play them myself, they looked SUPER fun!! I screamed when I saw Lacey's tailwind/lightscreen prankster whimsicott, and even MORE so when I saw it was sashed! I loved the usage of competitive items, and the fact that all their teams weren't completely mono-type, each having one exception to their type (Lacey's excadrill, Crispin's Exeggcutor, Amarys's Reuniclus, and Drayton's Sceptile) that they DIDN'T terrastalize was lovely touch!! Amarys's fight was super hype in particular, despite having an over 20 level advantage, the person I watched still nearly wiped to her! Her trick room AI does appear a bit goofy, but it's a small flaw. Finally, Kieran's battle... I personally adore a good rain team, but unfortunately Kieran's politoed was frozen at the start of the battle, and remained that way all the way til the end, so I can't honestly say how difficult it looked. The one thing I will say is that before the indigo disk was out, I created a hypothetical team for Kieran, and I CALLED that Grimmsnarl!! Literally even the focus sash. If anyone's curious, here was the hypothetical team I made. I'm a nuzlocker, not a competitive player, so it very well may be shit. Apologies in advance.

Next is the characters!! Every design slapped as always, and I enjoyed their personalities! Lacey was adorbs, Crispin was fun, and Amarys might just be one of my new favorites! As for Drayton? Let me tell you, I was side-eyeing him the whole time the MOMENT after he said THIS to Kieran.

After all the hype around dokutaro/peechikeen (now know as pecharunt, apparently), and all the speculation that Kieran would fall victim to its influence, him saying "that's just peachy" made my rat brain go into overdrive. In the end, I think it was just Legends Arceus giving me Volo flashbacks.

Now, the main event... KIERAN! Let me tell you, he gave me GOOSEBUMPS. Every time he appeared, I could feel a chill run up my spine, and his battle had my heart RACING. ESPECIALLY his breakdown at the end of it! One of the best times I've had in a good while. The animation, his reaction, all of it was GREAT!! It was so refreshing to see him not immediately heel-face turn.

Unfortunately, though, what happened after that all disappointed me. I admit I got too attached to the Dokutaro Posession theory, buy it was still disappointing for Dokutaro (I know that's not its name, leave me be) to not play any role in the main story. It felt like a natural conclusion to what the game was setting up, I thought he'd throw the master ball at terapagos, it'd fail, and he'd become so overwhelmed with everything that has happened that he'd succumb to Dokutaro's control and we'd have to fight the Dokutaro-Kieran with Terapagos's aid. That's not what happened, and I felt a bit sad. His recovery from his breakdown was still set up nicely and had some atleast sufficient justification, but it still felt like too-little too-soon. It felt more like he just gave up all together rather than defeated his demons. He'd never be as strong as the player, and that's that, which is a sour note to leave off on.

We see that he legitimately has nothing. All the other students left the MOMENT he was defeated. No one came to help the kid who was clearly having a panic attack. The BB league cares about him, sure, but I wouldn't consider them his friends. They all thought Kieran getting defeated would "fix" him, and even when he clearly wasn't any better after being defeated, they didn't do anything to assist him. Sure, sometimes when someone has climbed so high, you gotta let them fall, but once they do, you can't just leave them lying on the ground. You need to be there to lift them back up before they start digging.

This isn't an attack on the BB league at ALL. Like I said, I really enjoyed their characters! In fact, this reaction is part of the reason I like them so much. It adds depth.

I just wish that Kieran DID start digging, and that it led to something bigger. Even if Dokutaro wasn't involved, I atleast wanted the final battle with him to be that big thing, and not just a turtle that can't do anything but throw out weak earthpowers.

Though the biggest failing to me is that Kieran apologizes to us, but we don't apologize to him. We as in the player, and Carmine

Kieran's actions are his own and I'm not saying he shouldn't have apologized, but he wasn't solely culpable for how things turned out. We and Carmine purposefully lied, kept a secret that was dear to him, and were the straw that broke the camel's back. Even if we the player didn't apologize, Carmine should've!! Her treatment of Kieran heavily impacted him, and he mirrored her abuse (Kieran telling Carmine to "Shut it", just like she did to him, for example).

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was in the wrong here. Kieran took things too far, Carmine behavior is a serious problem, and the played character was complicit.

I'm not demonizing anyone here, I am the number one Carmine defender after all, but everyone needs to take responsibility. Not. Just. Kieran.

I relate heavily to both Kitakami siblings, as both an elder sister with younger siblings who she's accidentally mistreated, and as a little sister with an older sibling who treats me like I'm lesser.

I've lashed out at my older sibling, and while my reaction wasn't proportional, it doesn't mean my emotions weren't justified.

I have severe genetic anger issues (that I'm now thankfully medicated for), and have unjustly taken them out on my younger siblings.

Carmine needs to apologize too, or the cycle will just continue. Maybe she already did and I missed it, or maybe it happens in the post-game. However, if she didn't? It makes me feel unresolved.

Anyways, that all I gotta say on it!! Hope someone enjoyed this overly long rambling!!

(P.S. I still don't trust dragon boy. "Thats just peachy" my ASS, you know something ya toothpaste haired cunt. Why did they request to bring ya along to area zero anyways, ya plot relevant FUCK.)

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

In Defense Of Ceroba

Even though I'm still probably the biggest Starlo apologist you've seen, I wanna talk about Ceroba today. Particularly, my initial and current thoughts on her (but also why she works as a deeply flawed and tragic character).

Anyway, here we go.

Ceroba wasn't a character I liked at first. It wasn't dislike or hatred I felt for her, but rather... not much, if anything. She simply didn't catch my attention like Starlo did, with his larger-than-life personality. Ceroba wasn't like that. She wasn't in the spotlight, she seemed calm and level-headed, sarcastic and easily annoyed with the Five's nonsense, but also kinda just.... there, in contrast to the more 'cartoonish' Starlo.

you can clearly see who the goofy one is

Heck, I was so focused on NOT wanting to get to know and understand Ceroba that I payed little to no attention to her, even in the Steamworks, which was her section as well as Axis'. I completely forgot about the talk option too, so I missed on a lot during my first playthrough. I didn't even laugh at her sarcastic comebacks (that I find funny now, as you can see in my post titled 'Ceroba's sarcasm is growing on me').

And when I found out Ceroba injected Kanako... let's just say she became my least favorite character. I didn't understand why she had done it. It seemed like a poor writing choice not to have Kanako get her paws on the serum and inject herself. Ceroba actively going against her husband's last wish and being the cause of her kid falling down left a bad taste in my mouth.

Only later did I finally put the pieces together.

Ceroba was depressed. Like, really REALLY depressed. So depressed, in fact, that she became blunt with her choice of words when it came to the Starlo situation and unaware of his troubles/the fact he was trying to help her out of the rut. Ceroba was clearly way harsher towards him than she used to be before all the tragedy struck (but said she was sorry)

Starlo describes her as compassionate and hard-working (and they've been friends for a long time, so he must know). Or at least, that was who she was before all the sadness turned her into a shell of her former self.

Now, Chujin... oh, Chujin.

Chujin meant a lot to Ceroba and that is very clear. From her blindly following his legacy even after his death, to accepting to kill Clover (someone she had grown to respect) with tears in her eyes.

If you ask me, it wasn't Ceroba's cold, sarcastic, gloomy heart that destroyed her. Quite the opposite. It was love. More specifically, her love for Chujin.

I would, without an ounce of doubt, call this fox romantic and emotional. Someone who loves hard and deep. Someone who trusted him, her love, so blindly that she never suspected Chujin was up to anything suspicious. And when he was stripped away from her, it hurt so much. She even blamed herself for not noticing. It's sad.

So... why inject Kanako, something Chujin didn't want her to do? Simple. Because of her major character flaw: stubbornness.

See, Ceroba had refused at first. But the line that got her to change her mind was this:

Ceroba, still in emotional distress and not thinking clearly (much like Starlo), trusted her heart and not her head. And her heart was telling her that Chujin, wherever his soul was, would be proud of her for fulfilling his dream. Making his legacy come true. Saving monsterkind was a bonus, but I believe the main, true motivation here was honoring Chujin and what he wanted to accomplish for monsterkind. And so, instead of focusing on remaining a good parent to her only child, Ceroba chose her husband. She chose something greater that he believed in.

Ceroba loves Kanako, don't get me wrong. She remembers how Kanako and Starlo would watch westerns together, how Kanako would play with brick toys when she was younger, she says how her love for her could be enough to shatter the barrier. She'd tuck her in every night. She promised she'd be safe during the extraction. The two hugged tight and said 'I love you.' All signs point towards Kanako receiving a lot of love from her mother. She even made a drawing of the three of them, and this picture on the right says it all:

Chujin, too, loved his daughter, and I believe this love for her was more prominent before the attack (he even gave her the chance to play video games in her room, how cool is that?). He, too, like Ceroba, prioritzed the wrong things. Instead of making sure Kanako was alright, he made Axis chase after the human and didn't stay to comfort her. He was so focused on the prejudice towards humans (he believed Integrity would have 'continued the crusade' and it hadn't just been fear or self-defense that made them attack) that he forgot that the safety of his child and helping Dalv was far more important.

But Chujin... Ceroba can't even look at her own daughter without being reminded of him:

Ceroba talks about Chujin a lot.

Even though Ceroba messed up badly by injecting Kanako, not paying more attention to what Chujin had been doing, manipulating Clover and the Feisty Five, wanting to kill Clover so she'd save Kanako and monsterkind (notice how she is so blinded that, even as she talks about Kanako, it seems like she sees her as a tool for finishing what Chujin wanted, ACCORDING TO CEROBA. In reality, the man just wanted Kanako to be happy and for her to stay out of all this),

and almost killing Starlo and Martlet, she acknowledged her situation and later admitted that she was wrong. The reason Clover hugged her and forgave her easily was because Clover is like that. Completely altruistic. Starlo and Martlet are sweethearts, too. All three have good hearts and lots of empathy and understanding. And, me, personally? Instead of it putting me off...

...I find it admirable.

[mayonnara]

i really wonder if any of you stop to give at least a little bit of a shit

this is one example, by the way. BIG accounts are like this too

they pretend to be agree and be like "THIS!!!" but in the side lines they're doing the same. don't be like these people. if you like something, then puff out your chest and don't be a pussy about it. tell everyone how you're into watching kids shooting other kids.

there's no such thing as not condoning this type of thing. there's no such thing as being a "researcher" when you're clearly just glorifying them and making them "quirky uwu". just say it. say that you're a horrible person. it's easier for everyone.

i always check the little "similar accounts" tab, it's very helpful for finding shitty people.

im putting this in the postal tag because im still getting notifications about tcccunts liking my stuff. since this is a side account i noticed that no matter how many people i block they still have access to my posts, and i don't have access to theirs. tumblr, fix your site.

since im incredibly pissed about this, and i can't sleep, im going to rant.

i think we should change the meaning of "community". are you really part of a community if you got caught in a school shooting, they would be worshiping your shooter? are you really part of a community if you got killed and recorded, people would just be looking at your dead body and laughing instead of being sad? are you really part of a community if you're doing something illegal?

this is why i believe there's no such thing as a true crime community. or a gore community. or anything of the sort.

for me, you're all just as bad as maps, proshippers, terfs, and all that bad bunch.

i think its just common sense that these people should be ridiculed and isolated from any fandom, but here in this fandom? no, it's okay, we'll dickride you because you're different, it's a different thing y'know? stop being so sensitive. respect them.

i swear make it make sense. just, make it make a lick of sense.

it just makes me so angry because the games are satire, they're supposed to be funny and be like "ohh haha ginger man pisses on bodies lmaoo", and nothing is real. even if postal was a game about a teenager that goes on a school shooting and it's extremely realistic and shit, it's still not real. then why would you associate something like that to such horrible things? hell, i HATE shooting games and even i thought postal was kinda fun, i went pacifist for all my playthrough but i made another game file and went exploding the town and killing everyone. you know why i can do that? because its not real. why can't you just leave it at that? don't mix two things that have nothing to do with each other. don't glorify people that hurt real people. that should just be common sense.

oh but may, you drew yourself with postal dude once! you cry, but guess what. IM NOT A SCHOOL SHOOTER AM I NOW

also, i wanted to rant about something that really does piss me off as well. why do artists get a pass when it comes to this shit? or just, anything in general. why is when they post horrible shit, it's alright, but when its someone that doesn't make art, or is a beginner, it's a tomato throwing party? do it to both of them. them being able to draw shouldn't give them a shield to do horrible shit. it shouldn't matter how many followers or how notes they have, hold them accountable for crying out loud. "but they make art i like" and? you're just excusing their behavior, you're excusing what their doing because you "like their art". that's just.. it's just insane to me.

i have never seen a fandom like this. i have been in the genshin fandom, i have been in the south park fandom, i have been in the cookie run fandom, i have been in the onceler fandom, and none of them, absolutely none of them were as bad as this one. i didn't even know that was physically possible.

all of you are like, 19, 23, 24 whatever, you should know better than to excuse this behavior. like i said, puff out your chest and tell everyone how you really are. just say it. don't pretend you're innocent.

you know what's funnier? theres currently the genocide going on in Palestine. and these fuckers be posting about it, #savepalestine! #helppalestine! they don't give two SHITS about it, and you still go and like "oh but they post about Palaestine" they're out there watching people dying and enjoying it, you think they CARE about a GENOCIDE?? it's what they love! seriously, this is just so uguugghhg

my brain can't comprehend someone like this. it just can't.

[dr-spectre]

Talking about Side Order and... Marina. (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!)

You know, i really enjoyed Side Order, like it wasn't perfect or anything but i had such a blast with it and if they continue to expand on it we could have something REALLY amazing. My reaction to the GOD DAMN TUTORIAL BOSS GOT ME HYPERVENTILATING! IM NOT JOKING! IT WAS SO EXCITING AND SHOCKING!!! THE FINAL BOSS WAS INCREDIBLE TOO! I was singing along to Spectrum Obligato and WHEN THEY BROUGHT IN THE STUFF FROM THE LIVE CONCERT VERSION OF EBB AND FLOW MY JAW DROPPED!!!

However i gotta admit, the story could have been better, what was the deal with the Octoling engineers Marina was talking about? That goes completely nowhere and i thought it was gonna build to something with the repeat playthroughs of the final boss.

And of course, the biggest missed opportunity in my opinion, Marina Agitando.

Now look, i wanna say right off the bat, the design is excellent, it was so smart to bring back her Order outfit and make her into a giant abomination that moves in such a weird way that makes you feel uncomfortable. When i saw her for the very first time when you enter the room, i stood there for at least a solid minute in complete disbelief and shock seeing a giant Marina in some octopus tentacle heart thingy that beats and pumps with the music. The song that plays too "Unconscience" is such a BANGER and honestly it rivals Octo Callie's Bomb Rush Blush remix in my opinion.

The build up for this was pretty good too, seeing Marina say "help me" before she was knocked unconscious and then possessed by Overlorder BROKE ME! I was like "OH NO! ITS HAPPENING AGAIN! NOT MARINA!!" The build up to the 10th floor was so anxiety inducing because you know in the back of your mind that Marina is gonna fight you but you don't know what it's gonna look like, if you were there since Splatoon 2 and have watched Pearl and Marina since the beginning then this build up is even more anxiety inducing and its pretty damn good. And once you free Marina she feels so sorry about what happened and helps you out to put things right, heck she goes through a small character arc of embracing chaos.... but... i have to say...

It is unfortunately not executed that well or with any depth in my opinion because they repeated the whole thing of "oh no a character we know is evil because of (quote on quote) mind control!!!! oh noooo!!" Which is a tired trope in this series that needs to stop or else I'm gonna get REALLYYYYYY pissed off.

I've done enough ranting about Callie's villain arc and how that has been misinterpreted and stuff, but for Marina, i really wish they didn't do the whole "oh no a character is evil because of an evil character oh nooo!! we gotta save them!!" thing again and i wish Marina was more of a villain with a sad motivation for her actions. As much as its cute to see Pearl and Marina act all flirty with each other in Side Order, it kinda ruins the mysterious and dark tone of the story that was teased from the trailers and the tutorial in my opinion. Everything is also explained so quickly early on which really sucks. I really wish Marina was actually conscious throughout her time as Marina Agitando and most of it should have been her fault. She does blame herself for creating Overlorder but it's kinda brushed aside quickly and Marina ends up being totally fine and free of guilt. There isn't enough depth to it which is so lame and a missed opportunity.

Marina is flawed, she makes mistakes and acts emotional and angry sometimes. We have seen a side of Marina where she snaps at Pearl when she loses Splatfests and has shown signs that she still hasn't recovered from her time before she met Pearl.

She picked team Order because she was genuinely scared that her new life would fall apart and she doesn't wanna lose the people (especially Pearl) that she's met and grown to love. Marina is also heavily theorized to be on the autism spectrum and as someone who is autistic, i can see myself in Marina, they could have really explored Marina's psyche and mental health in Side Order but they just... didn't. Instead she's put to sleep and controlled by her ai child and all of the focus is put on stopping it like a traditional "oh no we gotta stop an evil ai!! oh noo!!" story... ugh... I mean Smollusk is cute i guess but there's not a ton to them and they come off as yet another "evil ai that wants order and control!! roarrr!!!"

From reading the most recent interview on Side Order and seeing the concept art, they said that they wanted to tell a story about Marina losing herself to a machine that she created. Could you imagine how tragic it would have been to learn more about Marina and how she's so wrapped up in anxiety that she decides to make this replica of Inkopolis Square and make the Memverse? Maybe at first she makes it to help Sanitized Octolings just like in the dlc, but then maybe due to overwork and burnout (which Pearl mentions in the tutorial by the way), her emotions and anxiety become so strong that she becomes consumed by it, this obsession of order and trying to achieve happiness takes over her and then she gets the idea to spread this order to the real world, where her friends can be "happy" and "safe." Maybe Overlorder is still there but they just whisper to Marina, manipulate and point her in the right direction to continue to her mission of order instead of just fucking knocking her out and using her as a meat puppet for 5 minutes.

Could you imagine how much better the build up would have been to not see Marina until you get to the 30th floor for the first time and you got to unlock her diary entries beforehand? Seeing her thought process and her slow descent into becoming an antagonist. I'm not sure how they would have changed the permanent upgrades but they could have thought of something man. I get that they wanted to subvert expectations but, i think they should have gone WAY further with Marina Agitando.

I was waiting for Pearl and Marina to have their "Tidal Rush" moment where it's this emotional battle between the two, could you imagine how DEVISTATING a remix of Ebb and Flow would have been if it had gotten that "Tidal Rush" type of remix? Pearl singing her parts in this chaotic and emotional way, on the brink of tears trying to get Marina back and calm her down, and Marina trying to fight back against her words, not wanting to believe her because she's so wrapped up trying to make them both happy in her way. She's so caught up in order that she has forgotten what Pearl wants, that Pearl wants to be with her and go against any obstacle that stands in their way together. God i would have cried seeing that I'm not gonna lie. Maybe once Marina starts to think rationally, she breaks free from the machine and then leaps into Pearl's arms, and then we have to go back up the 30 floors to fight Overlorder and we slowly see Marina learn to embrace chaos throughout the floors instead of it just being at the final boss.

I really do feel like Splatoon has this issue of trying to appeal way too hard to kids and being really scared to dive into the flaws of these characters. They are so avoidant of being more serious and they hide it away in optional collectables and obscure posts on social media that creates misinformation and stories that feel way too undeveloped. They just say "oh this character has been brainwashed!!" which is such a lazy and bullshit trope they slap on these characters to avoid getting into their flaws for some stupid reason. (Hell that word has lost all meaning to me now to be honest. Like no, Callie wasn't "brainwashed" per say, hypnosis is not brainwashing or mind control I've said that a trillion times in other blog posts but whatever. Agent 3 was knocked out and had no clue on what was happening. They weren't "brainwashed" they were used as a puppet from a fucking goopy telephone for five minutes while they were asleep. Maybe its poor translation i don't know.)

I know that Splatoon is made for all ages and primarily for children but, i find that to be a stupid excuse for bad storytelling, a good story with depth that's explored and set up properly can be applied to all kinds of age groups not just adults. And the adults that say that shit too, why do you think like that? Why do you wish to dismiss that sort of thing in media? So what if it's made for kids? Adults write these stories and plant themes and arcs into them. Why do you think people cried over the Rosalina storybook in Mario Galaxy and think its the best part of that game? You don't want that kind of stuff in games because "they are made for kids"? Why do you think there are so many adults in the Splatoon community hmm?

I am so worried for Deep Cut in the next game because i really don't want this to happen again, i want an actual proper villain arc for either Frye or Shiver. No hypnosis, no brainwashing, no mind control. Just a pure fucking villain arc caused by the flaws of the characters and without the involvement of a third party. Please, i wanna see growth in these characters that is explored way more clearly and better. Or maybe don't do a villain arc again and just have Deep Cut be fully happy with each other and develop their relationship more with lore and backstory. PLEASE!

Anyways ramble over, thank you for reading!

[poemistic]

im really sad no one else saw the cult aspects of sh3 more compelling like i did when i first watched a playthrough of it. idk it maybe my religious trauma talking, but the constant talk of bringing salvation and being saved by god steams from the deep primal fear of the world and life and all its sufferings and just the gaping unknown of what comes after death and!!! idk it gripped me personally. along with heather’s struggles with identity, agency, and the constant themes of cycles repeating and rebirth?? 

Saint Alessa Gillespie Mother of God Daughter of God?? am i the only one who thought this went fucking hard as hell?? 

in this part of the game when we see this painting, Heather has been going through a lot of self reflecting, especially during the chapel section. We really get to see Alessa’s life was like when she was carrying God, and it’s during this part I think heather accepts that Alessa is an important part of who she is, even if she’s no longer Alessa anymore. I think she says something along the lines of “I’m not Alessa, but Alessa is still me.” at one point. I can’t help but see it as an allegory for self acceptance, specifically the acceptance of trauma/abuse done unto you. Heather’s denial of being Alessa makes sense during the beginning. She has no memory of being Alessa, and people (Claudia) who clearly want to hurt her keep insisting that she is. 

But the thing is, Claudia sees heather as Alessa: Mother of God... simply a vessel meant to carry their cult’s deity. not the true Alessa Gillespie. So as the game continues with Heather recovering more memories of her past life, along with suffering the same problems as Alessa did 17 years ago, she truly comes to accept that she was Alessa, who fought SO Hard to be and to live as heather!!! Being heather, or Cheryl Mason, was supposed to be Alessa’s hard won happy ending. After literal years of being tortured in a cocoon of pain and misery, Alessa does escape in the end too, through being reborn as heather. How can heather deny that part of herself that used to be Alessa, after all Alessa has done to get her where she is? 

the symbolism of agency and autonomy with the mother of god daughter of god stuff makes me go actually insane. The cult forcing her into motherhood, but Alessa embracing that role to birth a life that She wants to bring into the world? A life that is filled with love and joy (with harry !!! 😭😭😭), her OWN personal paradise??? WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 

[science-lings]

Being annoying about each option under the cut

1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.

2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.

3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.

4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)

5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.

6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)

7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.

8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.

9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.

10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.

[taxidermy-tuesday]

ranking my favorite mouthwashing characters!! :3

SPOILERS

#1: anya

i love her so much :((( she deserved so much better,,,ive been meaning to draw her but i cannot get her right for some reason???

also i love the design choice of her perpetually sad eyes...im spinning her around in my brain rn

the dead pixel scene......hhrrggfffh

#2: curly

very close 2nd!! very complex character who is very inch resting to analyze and his design is cool asf. im a sucker for characters with guilt complexes

going back to the dead pixel scene again anya noticing the pixel but curly looking it over....such good writing man

#3: daisuke

he shouldve been at the club!!!!!!

i love him sm, that scene where he talked about his mom made me sob. poor guy

was watching a playthrough of mouthwashing where someone (not naming names) kept hating on him and it pissed me off so bad

#4: swansea

just because he is low on the list does not mean i don't like him!! i didn't at first but he's really grown on me!! hes such a complex character and that one scene near the end is so powerful

also i love his swan keychain <3

#5: jimmy

send this guy to the penis explosion chamber