#been stuck on chapter 3 for 4+ months lmao

[seventh-district]

several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

[f1bordeaux]

If You Cared (Part 4) | mv1

It's been years since you've indulged in a vacation. What better time is there than summer? Your family, the beach house in Italy-it seems perfect. But, for things to be just like good old times, your family needs to invite his. So of course you are having mixed feelings as the boy who broke your heart re-enters your life like nothing happened. Warnings: Suggestive content in the beginning, implied nudity, angst Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader Word count: 2.3k Poetry style | Story style A/n: One more part left! I decided to do 5 chapters instead of only 4, so the next part is the last part. This was kinda rushed, sorry if you can tell, but I'm leaving soon and I really wanted to finish this up for you guys so you weren't waiting for two months lmao. I'll come back one day and revise it, but ur stuck with this for now. Enjoy! Part 5 will be up tomorrow <;3 Part One|Part Two|Part Three|Part Four|Part Five

“Goodnight!” You waved as your mom and dad sombered down the hall. Finally.

You ran into your room, reaching for your phone on your desk. Max’s contact was the first one to pop up. Come up. You sent.

Victoria and I are still in the living room chatting. I’m trying to get up there. He sent back immediately. 

I’ll be waiting, just come in. Don’t knock. With that, you set your phone down and cracked open your window. A thick, cold gust of wind blew in. It would rain soon, a perfect background noise for what was about to happen. You smirked thinking about it. You smirked thinking about how worked up you made Max on the yacht, just to say in the end, “You have to wait until we get home to do anything more than kiss.”

This would be fun.

The only light in the room was coming from a lamp on your desk. It created a warm, soft, dreamy atmosphere. Your sheets seemed softer than normal, your pillow seemed thicker than normal, the wood on your feet seemed colder than normal. Maybe it was the exhaustion finally setting in from the day on the boat, but your senses were heightened. You wondered what it would feel like to kiss Max again. Would it be different? Would it feel better?

Only a few more minutes would pass before your door opened so quietly that you almost didn’t notice. Max slid in through the crack, a smile on his lips. “Hello.” He said.

“Glad to see you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t pass this up for the world.” He said, sitting next to you on your bed. His arms wrapped around you, pulling your body into a tight embrace. You both fell backwards, giggling as your bodies hit the bed. At once, you both closed your eyes just basking in each other's body heat and feeling your breath on one another's skin.

Your legs dangled off the bed, and when you realized, you pulled them up and curled into Max. He just hummed softly, placing a kiss on the top of your head. It would be so easy to just fall asleep. To just postpone this until later. What if you both just…

“Hey.” He whispered.

You blinked slowly, taking in the now different view. The two of you were now laying normally on your bed, your body being held by Max still. It was raining pretty hard outside. You could hear it clearly through your open window. The lamp was off now and the alarm clock on your desk read 4:55 AM. You remembered it being only midnight.

“Hi.” You whispered back. Max drew stars on your cheek, smiling as you looked up at him with gleaming eyes. You were always so amazed by him, it didn’t take a scientist to figure that out. He could honestly say that he felt the same about you.

“We fell asleep.”

“Yeah,” You tucked your head into his chest. His shirt smelled of sunscreen and salt. “I guess we did.”

“Do you feel alright?”

You just nodded, not pulling your face away from his body. He, however, reached his hand under your chin, pulling your face just a few inches below his. Even in the dark you could see the outline of his features. You could see his lips, his beautiful eyes, his nose, his messy hair. As you studied his face, he studied yours. It was like you both got lost in one another. These moments had been more frequent lately. You enjoyed every second of them.

“If you want something, Max,” You smirked, inching closer. “Just ask.”

You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. “Can I kiss you?”

“Anytime.”

It happened in a flash, his lips connected to yours in a rushed haze. His hand came to the small of your back pulling your pelvis into his. His other hand gripped the back of your head with such force that a small moan slipped into the kiss. Max loved it. He wanted you to do it again and again. You remained like this for only a few seconds before he flipped you onto your back, pulling away as he did so.

“God,” He whispered. “You look so good. How’d I get so lucky?”

You just looked away, hiding underneath your arm. Max pulled it away, insisting that he wanted to admire your blissed out look. The rain picked up outside. You felt so happy that you could cry. This was a moment you’d been wanting with Max since you were a teenager. Honestly, this made you have a hopeful outlook for the future. He wouldn’t have sex with you then just leave. Surely this was the beginning of something new, something you’d wanted for years.

“Can I take your shirt off?”

You nodded, lifting your arms straight up so he could slide it off. “Now yours,” You instructed.

“Yes ma’am.”

Your body was humming in pure ecstasy as his bare skin was flush against yours. He stared at you for a few seconds, looking at your face, then your body, then your lips. He was practically drooling as he consumed the image before him. Not only was this a dream come true for you, but it was for him, too. He’d always had eyes for you, he’d always wanted to feel and kiss you. As much as he was your first crush, you were his. His first kiss was also you, even though he lied at the time and said he’d been with plenty of girls. He was determined to do things right this time, to not be idiotic or selfish, to not be doubtful or despondent.

Max kissed your neck before moving down to place small kisses on your chest. They were quick, his lips moving to another spot only seconds after attaching to the first. “Max,” You moaned, hand entwined in his hair. “Give me more.”

He looked up, a smile on his face. “More?”

You nodded. “More.”

-

“We’re going to be late!” Your mom yelled from down the hall.

Right, this was not what you were supposed to be doing. “Max, we gotta go.” You gasped, pulling away from him.

Max frowned, adjusting his tie as you walked to your desk to reapply your jewelry. “I was having fun.”

The ‘fun’ he was talking about was having you pushed into the wall of your bedroom as the two of you feverishly made out. This had become rather common in the past few days. Ever since the night on the yacht, the dynamic between the two of you had changed from best friends with a mutual crush to best friends with benefits. Max used these benefits every chance he got. Even if it was ten minutes before a big formal charity ball.

You stepped in front of the mirror to admire your outfit. A long, skin tight, wine-red dress clung to your body. There was a slit up the left leg. Your hair was up, your makeup was done perfectly, you were flawless. Max stepped into the mirror, too, his arms wrapping around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You look stunning, baby.” Max whispered in your ear. Your skin began to rise with chills. “So good.”

“You do too, Max.” You turned to kiss him on the cheek. He wore a black suit and tie, but somehow he made the simple outfit look so complex, so elegant, so royal. “Let's go.”

He opened your door for you, extending an arm as you walked by. When the two of you walked down the stairs, everyone looked. It truly was like two members of a royal family were walking into the room. Your dad whistled, your mom and Max’s pulled out their phones to take photos, Victoria smiled, holding onto her husband, Luca and Mia shared-concerning glances? Mia-without a doubt-looked worried. Like, next level worried. Cat just got hit by a car worried.

“You two look phenomenal.” Sophie said.

“Thanks, mom.” Max responded.

The eleven of you were all dressed to impress. The cameras would surely find their way to you, tonight. This charity ball was something you attended every summer, but now that Max was a celebrity who had millions of people watching his every move, cameras were going to be present. So, you all took a little extra time to look good. Luca wondered if any girls would see his photo and ask about him. Max boosted his ego and said, “Maybe.”

When you all got there, the venue was packed. A small, round table had the name cards for you, Max, your siblings and Victoria’s family. Your parents and Sophie were elsewhere, sitting at a table with high-end contributors who were older than dust.

You were on one side of Max, his brother-in-law was on the other. Mia was on the opposite side of the table and still she carried this worrying look. Was she sick? “Mia?” You asked. “Are you alright?”

“I-um,” She looked at Max. He looked away, tapping on the table to get his little nephew's attention. “Yes. I am ok.”

“Are you sure? I can drive you home.”

“Yes, y/n. I’m alright.”

Odd. All night she would furrow her brows, frown, sigh or just be overall sad whenever you and Max whispered in each others ears, whenever his hand came to rest on your knee, whenever he fed you a piece of food, whenever you leaned into his shoulder while laughing. Luca began leaning into her, whispering something that you couldn’t quite hear.

“So, Max. You leave soon, right?” She started up.

He cleared his throat, setting his napkin on the table. “I do, yeah. Four days.”

Your heart began to pang in your chest. How could you have forgotten? The three weeks Max spent with you were almost up. You two would have to go your own ways now. You were hopeful, however. This hurt way less than the first time it happened.

“What comes next for,” Mia waved her hand between the two of you. “This?”

You sighed. Why was she being so rude? “Mia-”

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

She sipped from her wine glass, setting it back down with such force that a bit splashed out over the side. “When you go back to Monaco and she goes back to the states. What happens then? Are you gonna break her heart again?”

“Mia! Enough.” You corrected her. “What is your problem tonight-you know what, no. Not even tonight. You’ve been a bitch to Max for the past week. Why?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you explain, Max.” She turned her whole body to face Luca who sat to her right. “Or you can explain, Luca.”

Luca almost spit out his water. “Me?”

“What are you talking about?” You asked. You slowly turned to look at Max. His hand came from off your thigh to the wine glass in front of him. He downed the last of the red liquid, almost as if he was refusing to speak.

“Nobody? No takers?” Mia proceeded. “Fine then, I’ll tell y/n.”

At that moment, at that table, your summer crumbled. No longer would the sun feel as warm, would the beach feel as calming, would Elba feel as homely, would Max feel so wonderful. All the worries you had, all the wonders that plagued your mind, all of the what ifs, all of the maybes-everything came crashing down. Everything became a slew of nevers, of goodbyes, of I would just rather forget you’s.

Mia sighed. “Y/n, Luca bet Max that he wouldn’t be able to kiss you this summer. And he took it.”

“He bet what?” You asked. “What do you mean?”

“At dinner on the first night you got up to go to the bathroom. When you were gone, Luca bet Max one hundred dollars that he couldn’t get you to kiss him. Max took the bet and said that he could make it happen.”

Oh. So, was it real? Was any of it real? The first night after dinner when he sat next to you by the pool, was he just trying to win the bet? When he stayed home to watch the sunrise with you, was he just trying to win the bet? When he apologized, was it just a step in his plan to win the bet? Wherever you and him would ride together in his car, go to the beach together, play games together, fall asleep on the couch together-was it for his bet? When you first kissed, did he feel good because of you or because he knew he beat Luca?

“Max,” You practically whispered. “Tell me she’s lying.”

He said nothing. There was now this deafening silence hanging over the table. You felt sick. Why wouldn’t Max just look at you and say that it was fake, that Mia was making shit up?

“Max, please.” You begged. Tears formed in your eyes. “Why wont you say anything?”

“It’s true.” Was all he said. He didn’t look at you, he looked at Luca. So you looked at Luca. He hung his head as soon as you made eye contact with him.

“How could you-why did you-Mia. How’d you find out?” Was your next question.

“Luca was playing video games with one of his friends talking about it,” She said. “And I overheard it and made him explain it all.”

“Luca, how could you do that to me?” Your voice was so quiet, so close to breaking. “You’re my brother.”

“Y/n, I-”

You stood up, chair scratching the floor as you did so. With quick, long steps, you darted out of the dining venue. Mia was quick to follow. Max didn’t get up, neither did Luca. Not that you cared anymore. There was one thing you wanted and it wasn’t an apology from anyone, it was the first flight back to New York.

You’d done it again. He’d done it again.

Max Verstappen once again had broken your heart and didn't bother to watch you cry or attempt to apologize.

How foolish of you to fall once again.

[taexbankai]

I only want you

this is chapter 5, the other 4 chapters on my on page!!

this chapter is really long so brace yourselves lmao. enjoy!!

—————

it’s been a little over a month since prom night and yuta has been acting really weird. when i see him at school he’s always very dry and acts really standoffish. he takes hours to respond to my messages and whenever he do respond he only gives me short quick answers

“y/n we graduate this week can you believe it?!” nobara said excitedly as she gave me a back hug

“i know right? it’s hard to believe we were little freshmen 4 years ago” i said to her. We walked out of the school together

“i’m just happy that seniors doesn’t have to come back to the school until graduation night” yuji said as he ran up to us, megumi walking closely behind him

“honestly, i was so sick and tired of waking up early and getting ready for school” megumi said as he stretched

“where are ya’ll about to go? yuji asked me

“back to my house, we want to plan a graduation party” i told him

“oh okay, are we still hanging out tomorrow?” yuji asked

“yeah of course” nobara answered. we all spoke for a little longer before yuji and megumi left

“so.. how has it been with yuta?” nobara asked me as we got into my car

“the same. honestly we might as well just break up at this point” i told her and sighed as i began to back out of the parking spot

“do you honestly think he’s cheating through?” nobara asked me

“i don’t want to believe it. I thought that maybe at first he was upset with me because of the whole ‘me still having feeling for satoru’ thing. but i think it’s bigger than that. he always keeps his phone face down when we’re together at school and sometimes he won’t text me back until like 10-11 at night” i told her

“i think i’m going to ask maki myself and see what she says” nobara said, getting frustrated

“how could he ask you out just to cheat on you? that’s such a dick move. yuta didn’t even seem like the cheating type. I can’t believe him, and if the problem really is about you and satoru then he could’ve been mature about it and spoke to you. but if i find out he is cheating on you with maki… i’m killing both of them” nobara said angrily. i laughed softly at her, feeling good that she has my back

“i love you” i said and smiled at her before looking back at the road

——————

“wow, i always forget how rich your family is” nobara said as we walked into my house

“stop, we’re not rich” i said and laughed

“this is clearly rich y/n, you even have maids here” she said while laughing

“hello nobara sweetie! i haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?” my mom said as she came out of the kitchen

“hi mom! i’m good, how are you?” nobara said as she gave my mom a hug. my mom and nobara are really close so sometimes nobara calls my mom by her name and other times she just calls her mom

“i’m good sweetie!” my mom responded

“so what are you two up to today?” my mom asked me

“planning a graduation party. we only have a few days left to get everything ready” i told my mom

“oh okay, what day did you want to plan it for?” she asked

“we definitely want to do it the day after graduation, so saturday” i said

“okay well i’ll make sure your father and i aren’t home for that day so you kids can have the whole house to yourselves!, you’re stuck with us the day of your graduation though” my mom said and laughed, in which nobara and i started laughing as well

“okay then, i don’t want to hold you two too much longer. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me” my mom said

“okay mom!” i said as i started walking towards my bedroom with nobara

after a few hours of planning and looking at different places to pick up the party supplies we finally finished everything

“okay so on thursday we’ll go to party city and pick up all the decorations. friday is graduation and then saturday morning we’ll go pick up the food items, drinks, and the 3 different cakes. then we’ll start setting up at 6pm and the party will start at 8pm” nobara said, reading the notes we made on her phone

“yep, sounds good to me. I’ll send out the invitation to the seniors group chat so that way we can just invite all the seniors at one time” i told her as i started making the digital flyer on my phone

“okay cool. I’m gonna get going then, ino’s almost here to pick me up” she said to me as she started grabbing her things

“aw my favorite couple” i said making kissing noises

“shut up” she said, playfully pushing me while laughing

“okay girl, i’ll see you tomorrow” she said as she walked over to my door

“okay, you don’t want me to walk you out?”

“nah i’ll be okay, later!”

after nobara left i ate dinner, got in the shower, brushed my teeth, did my face care routine and then laid down in my bed. I got on my phone and was scrolling on instagram until i got bored. I went to my messing app and clicked on yuta’s name

“still no response huh?” i said as i saw he still didn’t reply to my message from 1pm asking if we wanted to hang out with me, yuji, nobara, and megumi tomorrow. I looked at the time on my phone and saw that it read 10:23pm. I sighed and closed out the app. bored with nothing else to do, i decided to just go to sleep. i got up to turn my light off, as i walked back to my bed my phone suddenly started ringing which scared the living shit out of me. i picked up my phone and saw that satoru was calling me

“hello?” i said, confusion laced in my voice. i waited for satoru to say something but the line was silent

“toru? are you okay?” i asked, my heart starting to beat faster wondering what was going on

“y/n” was all he said. his voice sounded really low and deep

“yes?” i asked him

“i just wanted to hear your voice. i needed a friend to talk to and suguru is sleeping over at yuki’s tonight dorm tonight” he said. i could hear the muffled sound of blankets, i’m guessing he just laid down on his bed or turned to his side

“okay… is everything alright?” i asked him again

“yeah i’m fine silly girl. just bored and lonely” he said to me. riko immediately popped up in my head

“how are you lonely when you have a girlfriend?” i asked him, with a slight laugh

“what are you doing up so late?” he asked, completely ignoring my question

“nobara left about an hour ago so i was just up doing nothing” i told him as i laid down in my bed, staring up at my ceiling

“oh okay… I know your graduation is this week, are you excited?” he asked me

“yeah, just excited to finally be done with highschool” i told him with a dramatic sigh. he started laughing which made me smile hearing his laugh

“i wish you, shoko, and suguru could come to my graduation. won’t your college be on summer vacation by then?” i asked him

“yeah but suguru and i have to do a week of summer school, i don’t know about shoko though” he told me. i let out a dramatic cry

“damn, i wanted to see you all” i said as i turned onto my side, now looking out of my window

“i know, i wanted to see you too” satoru said. i was about to ask him a question when i heard him yawn

“are you tired toru? go to sleep if you’re sleepy” i said to him

“i just had a long day, i want to sit on the phone with you though” he told me. i felt my heart skip a beat

“why do you always do this to me?” i asked him, slightly frustrated at him for always making me so nervous and flustered, but more mad at myself for allowing it to happen

“do what?” he asked, confused

“sweet talk me. you always say nice things to me and get my hopes up. when you say stuff like that it makes me heart skip a beat” i said, nervously biting my bottom lip, regretting telling him. i heard satoru softly laugh before he spoke up

“you think that’s how i sweet talk people? if i would’ve said “i can’t wait to see you again so i can make you mine and keep you to myself” then i would have been sweet talking you” he said to me. i was stunned into silence. the example he used was probably no more than just an example…but my heart was beating so fast i didn’t know how to react

“see? that was so good you’re silent now” satoru said while laughing at me, snapping me out of my thoughts

“h-hey, stop messing with me. you’re so annoying” i told him playfully

“i wasn’t” he said

“you weren’t what?” i asked him. did he mean he wasn’t messing around?

“hey don’t you have a boyfriend?” he asked me. i was disappointed that he didn’t answer my previous question

“yeah… i think” i said, laughing a little

“what do you mean by i think?” satoru asked

“well, basically to make a long story short, he’s been acting really weird. barely responding to my texts, we don’t hang out or see each other outside of school anymore. He hangs out with my friend maki a lot though… i feel like something is going on but i can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t want to accuse him of anything you know? but i’ve tried being a good girlfriend. we were doing good at first, we’ve been dating since junior year but after prom night he was acting weird and i don’t know why” i told satoru, ranting to him. i continued ranting and satoru quietly listened to me. once i was done ranting, he finally said something

“he’s cheating on you with the girl” was all he said

“y…you think so?” i asked him

“i know so… i’m a guy. the girl that he lost his virginity too is this maki girl. that’s why he didn’t want to answer when you all were playing the game… that’s probably what they were talking about before you walked outside the same night” satoru told me. i was quiet, tears slowly coming to my eyes before they slowly slid down my cheeks

“that makes a lot of sense actually…” i said to him, trying to cry without him noticing

“i’ve never cheated on him or anything like that. was i a bad girlfriend? is it my fault?” i asked more to myself than to satoru

“hey hey hey don’t cry y/n!” satoru said, his voice sounding slightly panicked

“i could be wrong you know. he could have a perfectly good reason why he’s been acting that way. don’t take my word for it, that was just my opinion” he told me, trying to make me feel better

“i’m not crying” i said, wiping my tears

“y/n… i know you too well, i know you’re crying right now” he said softly

“no i’m not” i said, lying to him still

“okay, answer my facetime call then” he said before he hung up. seconds later i received a facetime call from satoru. i frantically wiped any traces of tears off my face as i sat up in my bed and answered the call

“what took you so long to answer huh? i bet you were wiping the tears off of your face” he said while laughing. i grabbed my led lights remote and turned on my white lights so satoru could see me instead of me sitting in the dark

“shut up” i told him as i placed my remote back down and laid back down in my bed. satoru just smiled at me

“you’re too pretty to be crying over a boy y/n” he told me as he rolled onto his back while holding his phone up enough for me to still see his face. my heart was racing, he was acting a little different tonight

“yeah? well i cried over you too before remember?” i said while laughing

“don’t remind me, i felt horrible” satoru said as i laughed harder at his reaction. we ended up talking on the phone until two in the morning before we fell asleep on facetime. when i woke up and checked my phone is was almost twelve in the afternoon and my phone was on 2%

“shit, i forgot to set an alarm” i said to myself as i quickly put my phone on the charger. I was suppose to meet up with nobara, yuji and megumi at one so i needed to get up and start getting ready now. i opened my messages app to text them in our group chat and let them know that i just woke up and was going to start getting ready. before i clicked on the group chat icon, i saw that i had a message from satoru. i immediately clicked on it and read what it said

‘my phone died while we were sleeping last night, thanks for keeping me company though’ he ended the message with two white hearts. i had a huge smile on my face as i texted him back. after i sent my message to satoru i went to the group chat and sent them a message. i then went to mine and yuta’s messages and saw that he read my message but didn’t respond. i rolled my eyes and closed my phone to start getting ready

—————— skip to graduation day—————

“omg we’re really about to graduate!” nobara said as she excitedly shook me back and forth

“i know i know i can’t believe it!!” i said as i shook her back. all of the seniors were in the back of the graduation stadium lining up to walk across the stage. nobara was in front of me and in front of her was ino, yuji, megumi and then more students in front of him. behind me was yuta, maki, momo, mai, miwa, kokichi, inumaki, and the rest of the graduating class. i turned around to look at yuta who was already looking at me

“are you excited to graduate?!” i asked him, a big smile of my face

“yeah” he said with a small smile. i was too happy and excited about graduating that i didn’t realize how dry his response actually was. we began to hear cheering and clapping, i glanced at my phone and saw that it was 7:00pm, which means the graduation ceremony started. we walked out of the back room in our lines and made it to our assigned seats. the graduation stadium was full of families cheering. i looked up in the stands for my mom and dad but there was so many people there that i couldn’t find them. i could slightly hear someone yelling my name so i knew they were here, and that’s all that mattered to me.

after the ceremony all of the freshly graduated students walked out to the front of the building to meet up with their families and friends to take pictures and get ready to go home. i was separated from nobara as she went with ino to go find their families, i walked by myself to the front and looked around for my mom and dad. after weaving through tons of parents, friends, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and students who were outside hugging their families and taking pictures, i finally saw my mom and dad looking around waiting for me with a sign in their hand. i started running up to them and once they saw me coming they started waving their “my daughter just graduated” signs in the air and cheering for me. i ran up to them and gave both of them a hug

“congratulations baby!” my dad said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead. he then placed 3 money lei’s around my neck

“i’m so proud of you honey!” my mom said as she placed another money lei around my neck. i started tearing up, being so thankful for having such amazing parents

“thank you both so much! and four money lei’s? how much money is each of these?” i asked while laughing

“nothing too much, i only folded one thousand dollars” my mom said, proud of her money folding and decorating skills

“oh okay so like $250 on each money lei?” i asked

“no silly, one thousand dollars on each money lei” she said while laughing

“WHAT?!” i yelled

“i wanted to give you more but your mom said that if we gave you too much you right run away with the money and never come back” my dad said while laughing

“don’t worry dad, 4 thousand is more than enough, thank you” i said. my parents would always give me money but i seriously wasn’t expecting four thousand dollars from them today

“okay, let me get my phone out so we can take some pictures” my mom said as she pulled her phone out. my dad pulled his out too and started recording

“dad why are you recording? i thought we were taking pict-“

“guess who?” i was cut off by my eyes being covered by two large hands. i immediately started jumping up and down from excitement

“suguru you made it!!” i screamed and turned around, throwing myself at my big brother and giving him a big hug

“congratulations baby sis, i’m so proud of you!” suguru said as he hugged me back. i started crying into his chest

“don’t cry too much or you’ll ruin your makeup!” i heard another voice say, i let go of suguru and saw shoko standing next to him

“shoookoooooo!” i said as i gave her a big hug as well

“i missed you two so much” i said to her as she hugged me back

“hey what about me?” my heart dropped, no way… i must be dreaming. i slowly let go of shoko and turned to my left, i saw satoru standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers. i immediately ran over to him and gave him a hug, he wrapped his arm that wasn’t holding the bouquet around my waist

“congrats on graduating!” he said to me

“thank you toru” i said, still hugging him. i can’t believe they were all here, it’s been a year since i last saw them

“hey, my hug wasn’t that long!” i heard suguru said. we all laughed at him as i finally let satoru go

“i thought you said you guys couldn’t come because of summer school?” i asked satoru

“i lied to surprise you. we watched you walk across the stage too, but i don’t think you saw us in the stands” he said as he wiped the tears off of my face

“did you guys know?” i asked my parents as i turned and faced them

“of course! suguru called us two months ago telling us he was going to be here for your graduation” my mom said. now i understood why my dad started recording

“did you really think i’d miss my baby sisters graduation?” suguru said and laughed

“oh yeah and this is for you, i made it myself!” he added as he took a money lei off of his neck and put it around mine

“it’s one thousand dollars, mom said they gave you some as well” he told me. i was so excited to see them, i didn’t even realize they were holding stuff, except for satoru

“thank you!” i said to him

“and here’s mine! i saw you post on instagram about wanting this brand” shoko said as she handed me a gift bag that had graduation balloons tied around it

“you can open it when you get home” she said and smiled

“thank you sho” i said to her, my cheeks hurting from how much i’ve been smiling

“and finally, here’s my gift” satoru said, i turned and faced him as he gave me the huge bouquet of flowers, i looked closer at them wanting to smell them only to realize that they weren’t flowers, but 100 dollar bills rolled to look like roses

“toru-“

“it’s also a thousand, i don’t wanna hear any butts or ands” he said, cutting me off while laughing

“i also got you this” he said as he took out a little box, he opened it up and it had a beautiful gold necklace in it. i heard my mom gasp while i stood there, tears threatening to fall again as i watched him take the necklace out of the box and show it to me up close, in the middle of the necklace was a single diamond

“turn around” he ordered me, i immediately turned around and felt him move my hair out of the way and put the necklace on me

“i got you this one because i feel like the other necklace i got you for your birthday has too many bad memories attached to it” he laughed as i turned back around and hugged him

“thank you so much toru! i love you” i said to him, the last part slipping out

“you’re welcome, i love you too” he said, hugging me again

“how touching, you’re stealing my sister from me” suguru said sarcastically

“you totally just showed me up with your gifts” shoko said. i laughed at both of them

“i appreciate all of the gifts you all got me, thank you so much. this is the best day of my life!” i said to them and my parents as they all laughed at me

“i still have the necklace you gave me toru, i just don’t wear it much because of yuta” i told him

“it’s okay, now you have a new one” he said and smiled

“okay, let’s all take some pictures before we go to dinner!” my dad said

“dinner?” i asked

“yeah, your graduation dinner” my mom said

i took some pictures with my parents, shoko, suguru, and satoru. some group photos and some separate photos

“y/n! we have to take pictures together!” i heard someone yell to me, i turned around and saw nobara running up to me with our group of friends and their families closely behind her

“it took us forever to find you!” she said as she reached me and gave me a hug

“sorry, i was so caught up in seeing everyone” i told her. the rest of our friends had met up with us. i turned to greet the huge group of family and friends that came with them, i then turned and introduced everyone

“this is my mom and dad, and this is my other best friend shoko, my big brother suguru and this is satoru” i said to my friends, i then turned and introduced my friends

“you’ve all met some of them already but these are my friends, this is miwa, momo, inumaki, ino, kokichi, mai, maki, and then my boyfriend yuta” i said, leaving megumi, yuji and nobara out of the introduction’s since they already knew them

“nice to meet you all, thanks for being friends with my little sister ” suguru said as he smiled at everyone. shoko, satoru and my parents all waved at them with smiles on their faces. my friends families approached my friends as they wanted to start taking pictures of all of us together, yuta’s parents walked over to my parents as they began to catch up and talk to each other. i saw satoru and suguru exchange a quick look between each other before they both approached yuta, who i was still standing by

“so… you’re the boy who’s dating my sister” suguru said as he looked yuta up and down. yuta started to look a little nervous

“y-yeah that’s me” yuta stuttered

“don’t mess with him suguru! he’s nice to me” i said, not wanting suguru to embarrass yuta

“nice to you huh?… i just want to meet the boy who my sister is dating, he is your first boyfriend after all” suguru continued

“and this is maki?” satoru spoke up. satoru and i made quick eye contact before he looked back at a flustered maki who was still standing by yuta, her parents speaking to inumaki’s parents

“nice to meet you” she said as she nervously stuck her hand out to shake satoru’s hand. satoru didn’t shake her hand though, he only muttered a quick ‘hi’ before his attention was back on yuta

“i’m going to be completely honest with you right now” satoru started as he took off his sunglasses, now staring yuta directly in his eyes

“i don’t like you” he said

“neither do i” suguru said. i felt like my blood pressure was going up by the second. satoru pulled me gently by the arm so i was standing next to him instead of yuta

“not responding to y/n for hours” satoru said

“being super dry” suguru continued

“ not making any time for her” satoru said

“ignoring her” suguru said

“ and the icing on the cake… spending more time flirting, gigging, seeing, and talking to little miss maki right here” satoru said. i knew satoru was going to eventually tell suguru but i didn’t think they would be so angry about it

“i- i can explain-“

“save it” suguru said, cutting yuta off

“because it’s my precious baby sister’s graduation today i’m going to let you slide. but we’ll have our time to talk” suguru said to a now very nervous yuta. suguru and satoru both turned to me and put smiles on their faces, as if they didn’t just threaten my boyfriend

“let’s go take these pictures!” suguru said as he turned me around and put his arm around my neck, satoru walking with us on my other side

“hello nice to meet you..again. i’m mai and this is my dear friend momo” mai said as she and momo came up to the three of us

“hello!” both satoru and my brother said

“do both you have girlfriends?” mai asked them. they both laughed as i ran my hand over my face, laughing at how straightforward she was being

“yes i have a girlfriend” suguru said

“nooooo” momo said

“what about you?” mai excitedly asked satoru

“mai..” i said in a warning tone

“kidding, i’m kidding” she said as she laughed, i laughed with her before all the parents started calling us as they had all of their camera’s ready to start taking pictures

after we all finished taking millions of photos, my friends and i all said goodbye to each other and went our separate ways

“okay so let’s get to the place for dinner! did you all drive here together?” my mom asked as we started walking towards the parking lot

“no we all drove our own cars” suguru told her

“oh okay, shoko were you coming with us to dinner?” my mom asked shoko

“i can’t i’m so sorry! today is also my cousin’s graduation and my family is having a bbq tonight” she told my mom

“aww man, i wanted you to come but it’s okay honey i understand!” my mom said as she gave shoko a hug

“are you coming to my party tomorrow?” i asked her

“of course girl” she said as she gave me a hug. she said goodbye to my dad, suguru and satoru and left to her car

“yuki’s still coming to dinner right suguru?” my dad asked him

“yeah her mom is dropping her off now. her little brother’s graduation finished up about an hour ago” he said. just then we saw a car pull up and yuki hopped out of the passenger’s side and ran over to us

“hi y/n! congratulations on your graduation! everyone is graduating today” she said and laughed as she gave me a hug and a gift

“thank you yuki! i missed you” i said as i hugged her back

“i missed you too sweetheart” she said

“great everyone is here! yuki you didn’t drive your car?” my mom asked

“no, suguru told me i can just ride with him when we left from my dorm” she said as she walked over and gave my parents a hug

“okay well then, suguru and satoru can just follow us to the restaurant” my dad said. satoru and suguru said okay and i started walking towards my parents car

“nah, you’re riding with me” satoru said as he grabbed my wrist. suguru and yuki were already getting in suguru’s car and my parents didn’t even turn around when satoru stopped me

“okay” i said and walked with satoru to his car. he took all my gifts and opened the door for me

“thank you” i said, suddenly feeling a little shy as i got into his car. he put my gifts on the back seat of his very expensive car and got in the drivers side and started the car. he pulled off and drove until he was behind suguru’s car, in which suguru was behind my parents car as they started to pull out of the parking lot

“you can connect your phone and play some music” satoru told me. i happily took out my phone and connected it to his bluetooth, turning on my favorite song. i turned down some so i could talk to satoru

“so… what did you think of yuta?” i said as i looked forward, watching the road with satoru

“i don’t like him” satoru said , keeping his response short

“really?” i asked, still not seeing why he doesn’t like him

“yes really. you’re too beautiful to be wasting your time on someone who won’t spend any time with you or even respond to your text messages. y/n he literally hangs out with another girl more than he hangs out with you… break up with him” satoru said as he glanced at me before looking back to the road

“yeah.. you’re right. i love him though” i said to satoru, turning my head to look at him while he drove the car. he looked so good in his white button up shirt and his black pants. his hair was shiny and his glasses sat right at the tip of his nose. he smelled so good and his lips looked so juicy. i mentally slapped myself, feeling ashamed looking at satoru like this when we’re literally in the middle of talking about my boyfriend. satoru stopped at a red light and turned to look at me

“you love him?” he asked me. my heart skipped. the atmosphere in the car suddenly changing

“y-yes i-“

“are you in love with him? or do you love having him around?” satoru asked me, cutting me off. i couldn’t give him an answer though. his question was similar to what nobara was saying the night of the sleep over

“he’s not a good boyfriend y/n” satoru said as he faced the road again, the light now green

“he was at first” i told him

“how so?” he asked

“when you left me heartbroken and alone, he helped me get over my depression and heart break” i said to him, hoping the conversation didn’t get depressing because of me bringing up satoru rejecting me

“he saw an opportunity and took it” satoru said, thankfully not changing the mood into a depressing one

“what? how?” i asked, my attention fully on satoru

“you were sad and gullible. he most likely had a crush on you or some type of attraction towards you. when he found out that i rejected you and then moved away for college he jumped at the opportunity to make you his and it worked” satoru explained. i listened to his words, happy to be getting a male’s perspective on the situation

“i’m not saying that he didn’t or doesn’t love you, but he definitely took advantage of you” satoru said. i nodded my head, seeing exactly how that could have happened. satoru is definitely right

“but enough about him. you look beautiful tonight, even with a little bit of your makeup smeared from all that crying” satoru said as he laughed

“that’s because i was overwhelmed with happiness” i told him, smiling at him calling me beautiful

“you’ve been complimenting me a lot lately” i told satoru, my smile getting bigger

“if your wack ass boyfriend won’t do it then i have to” he said and laughed

“hey toru… why didn’t riko come with you guys?” i asked him, wondering why he hasn’t brought up riko once since i’ve seen him. he stayed silent for a few seconds before he answered

“because she’s not my girlfriend anymore” he simply said

“what??! why not?” i asked, but i couldn’t help the small smirk that came to my lips after hearing that they broke up

“because she cheated on me, i never found out with who though. i broke up with her like 6 months ago” he said

“she… cheated on you?! when i catch her i’m beating her ass. why would she cheat on you? you’re so kind and sweet… not to mention how attractive you are! i’ve never met a more attractive guy in my life. i don’t understand why she would cheat on you” i said, pissed off that she cheated on satoru. did she even realize how lucky she was to be with him? i heard satoru start to laugh

“you’re so cute when you’re mad” satoru said as he turned into the parking lot of the restaurant, still behind suguru’s car

“maybe it’s because we were both busy with school. a little after we starting dating i realized we didn’t have as much in common as i originally thought” he told me as he pulled into a parking spot. before i could say anything else satoru spoke up again

“ready to go eat?” he said with a smile, i figured he didn’t want to speak about the topic anymore so i didn’t ask anymore questions

———————

after the very delicious dinner we all walked back to the parking lot

“satoru you’re staying at our house right?” my dad asked

“if that’s fine with you” satoru said and smiled at my dad

“of course! we had the guest room prepared just for you!” my mom said excitedly as my dad laughed

“okay i’ll be there then!” satoru said and laughed with my dad

“great! well your father and i are going to the airport now, we’ll see you in a few days sweetie” my mom said as she pulled me into a hug

“have fun at your party, i feel much better knowing your brother and satoru will be there” my dad said as he gave me a hug as well

“i will, love you guys! thank you for everything” i said to them. they said their goodbyes to everyone else and got back in their car

“i’m going to go back with yuki to her parents house for a few hours to spend time with her family since they’re also celebrating a graduation today. y/n you have your house key right?” suguru said

“yeah” i told him. he nodded and pulled me into a hug

“okay then, i’ll most likely be back home tomorrow morning. i’m sure we’re gonna be drinking tonight so i might sleep over at yuki’s house” he said as he broke the hug

“take care of my sister satoru” suguru said as he dabbed up satoru. i gave yuki and hug and said bye to her as suguru opened the door for her as they got into his car. satoru and i left shortly after

once we got to the house all the maids had already left for the night. i turned on the living room lights and took my heels off, holding all my graduation gifts in one hand. satoru came in after me, locking the front door and taking his shoes off

“damn, it’s been so long since i’ve been here” he said, carrying his small suitcase with him

“how long are you staying here for?” i asked him as i started walking upstairs to my room, satoru following me

“only a few days” he said

“why not longer? a few days isn’t enough time” i said to him as i reached my room door

“you want me to stay longer?” he asked me as he stood at my door, leaning his tall body against my door frame

“of course i do” i said as i sat my gifts down and looked at him as i sat down on my bed

“hmmmm….you can drive with me back to my apartment and i’ll grab more clothes and stuff to stay here longer” he told me. i jumped up and ran to give him a hug

“yayyy! yes i’ll definitely come with you! can we ride by your college? i’ve never seen it” i said. satoru laughed at my excitement

“you could’ve came to visit me, it’s only an hour and a half drive from here” he said

“yeah but you never came to visit me either” i said

“fair” he said and threw his hands up in defeat

“so what do you want to do tonight? i have edibles” he asked me as he opened his suitcase, pulling a bag of edibles out

“really? let’s take some” i said excitedly

“look at how excited you are over some edibles” satoru laughed as he opened the bag and gave me one before eating one himself

“thank you!” i told him

“you’re welcome. i’m going to go put my stuff in the guest room and hop in the shower really quick” satoru said to me as he placed the bag of edibles on my bed

“i’ll keep these out just in case we end up wanting to take more” satoru said

“okay, i’ll hop in the shower too then” i told him. he nodded and walked away to the guest bedroom. i walked over to my bathroom and turned on the shower water before taking off my make up so i could use my face cleaners in the shower

——— ——

after my shower i put lotion and my pjs on. i grabbed my phone before i turned off my room light and walked downstairs to see satoru in his pjs sitting on the couch on his phone. he looked up at me once he heard me coming down the stairs

“damn, girls take forever to shower” he said while laughing. i walked over to him with a smile on my face, his hair was damp and he didn’t have his glasses on so his beautiful blue eyes were staring right at me

“put those blue lights away, i can’t focus while looking at your bright ass eyes” i said, teasing him

“oh wow, i can’t believe you took it there” satoru said, acting hurt as he put his hand over his heart before we both bursted out laughing. after we stopped laughing satoru suggested that we play just dance. i started up the wii and we played just dance for an hour before we were tired and hungry again

“i think the edible is making me hungry” satoru said as he took his phone out

“what do you want to eat? i’ll order whatever you want” satoru said as he looked at me

“ummm, lets just get pizza and drinks” i told him

“oh! and some ice cream too please?” i asked him

“okay” he said as he went on uber eats and started ordering the food. while he was ordering the food i got a text on my phone. i looked and saw yuta had texted me. i unlocked my phone and saw he had sent me a long message with 2 photos and a video attached to it. i immediately began reading the message

‘hey y/n, i’m just texting to tell you that i’m breaking up with you. i’ve been wanting to break up with you for a while now but i felt bad because of how miserable you were. you texting me multiple times a day and always trying to hang out became overwhelming. that night when we played truth or dare i was going to tell you the truth about maki and i. she’s actually my ex girlfriend, we broke up because we had grown apart and a little after we broke up i had found you. you were cute and also going through a heart break so in order to get my mind off of maki i decided to try and date you. maki and i ended up meeting a few weeks after we started dating and had sex. i’ve been having sex with maki at least twice a week since then, we were each other’s first times so our bond is extremely strong. i asked you if you still had feeling for gojo because i wanted to make myself feel better about cheating on you knowing you still had slight feelings for another guy, so i continued acting like i loved you. i wanted to tell you this in person but your brother and that gojo guy scares the living shit out of me, so over text it is. i would appreciate it if you didn’t contact me again after this, or maki as we’re back together again. i’ll block you after this message sends. goodbye’

my face was full of tears after i finished reading the message. i then clicked on the pictures and video he had sent. in the first photo, him and maki were in bed together as he laid in between her legs. their clothes were off and it looked like he was in the middle of giving maki head. the second photo was a picture of maki giving yuta head. by this point i was on the verge of hyperventilating, but i still forced myself to watch the video…. the video was a sex tape of maki and yuta. the phone was propped up on something so i had a full body view of them both having sex. to make matters worst the sound was on, so i could hear both of them moaning. satoru turned to look at me, confused and wondering what i was watching. before he could ask any questions, he saw me crying and was in a state of panic

“y/n what happened? are you okay?” he asked. i couldn’t answer him, instead i threw myself at him and cried in his arms. satoru, still confused, started rubbing my back trying to console me even without knowing what was going on

“you were right” i finally said through broken sobs once i calmed down enough to speak

“right about what?” he asked. i slowly sat back up, breaking the hug as i gave him my phone. he looked at it and i watched his face go from confusion, to shock, to anger within seconds. i then saw him tap the screen and swipe, so i assumed he was looking at the photos and the video now. i heard moaning coming from the phone before satoru got off the video and let out a frustrated sigh

“that fucking asshole. i knew i should have punched him in his fucking face when i saw him tonight. i knew it!” satoru said, completely furious now. i stayed silent as i watched satoru grab his phone and press a few things on the screen before he put the phone to his ear. after a few seconds i heard suguru’s voice on the other side of the phone saying hello

“suguru, you’ll never believe what y/n’s bitch ass ex boyfriend just did” satoru said as he stood up, pacing around the living room with his phone to his ear and my phone still in his other hand. satoru then explained in detail what yuta did, he even reread the breakup message he sent me to suguru over the phone. i couldn’t hear exactly what suguru was saying but from the tone of his voice, he sounded just as mad as satoru

“don’t worry about it i’ll take care of her tonight…. yeah…. okay i will. enjoy your night with yuki and her family……yeah we’ll figure it out tomorrow when you get here….okay” i watch satoru as he continued speaking to suguru on the phone. i got up and walked to the downstairs bathroom, splashing water on my face before looking at myself in the mirror. luckily i didn’t look too terrible. i was having such a fun night just for yuta to ruin it. as i stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, i began to really think about what just happened. because of how strained our relationship has been the last couple of weeks, i’m not necessarily sad about the breakup as i was going to eventually breakup with him because of how the relationship was. i’m more upset over how he decided to break up with me… not only did one of my friends betray me, lie to me, and sleep with my boyfriend. but he cheated on me our entire relationship and then sent pictures and videos of it. i was hurt, i was annoyed, but most of all… i was angry. how could they do this to me? i’ve been nothing but kind and loyal to the both of them. I didn’t get close with maki until after yuta and i started dating, i never even knew they used to date. i tried to calm myself down by splashing more water on my face

“satoru is finally back out here after being away for so long. i’m not going to let them ruin our night” i said to myself. i took one last look at myself in the mirror before i walked out of the bathroom. once i made it back to the living room i saw that satoru was off of the phone with suguru. he was sitting back down on the couch and was taking pictures of my phone with his phone

“hey how are you feeling? you okay?” he asked me as he looked up at me

“i’m okay” i told him as i sat down next to him on the couch

“i’m taking pictures of his contact information and maki’s. me and suguru will be contacting them later, don’t you worry” he said as he tapped my head. i saw him take a picture of maki’s phone number before he handed me back my phone. i laughed at him before giving him another hug

“i’m not going to let them ruin our fun night” i said to him

“good! i ordered the food already, it should almost be here by now. should we find a movie to watch while we eat?” satoru asked

“yeah!, i’m going to eat another edible too, that whole situation ruined my high” i said as i stood up to go grab the bag off my bed

“can you grab me one too please?” he asked. i said yeah as i made my way upstairs. i grabbed the edibles off of my bed and popped one in my mouth. i then walked back downstairs and sat back down by satoru. he grabbed an edible and i took another one. after all that just happened i wanted to get fucked up and forget about it all

“okay how about this movie?” satoru asked as he landed on a funny movie. i said okay and he pressed play. right when the movie was starting the door bell rung. satoru paused the movie before he got up and grab everything from the uber eats person before thanking them and closing the door

“i gave them an $100 tip on the app, they must’ve been hella happy because they drove over here fast” satoru said as we laughed. i helped him bring everything to the coffee table in the middle of the living room

“i’m going to go put the ice cream in the freezer” i told him. he nodded okay and i walked to the kitchen. after i put the ice cream away i grabbed two glasses for us to drink out of. i dimmed the lights so we could watch the movie but still see our food. i sat down on the couch and we began eating our food while the movie started playing. after 30 minutes of watching the movie i began to feel dizzy. almost like i didn’t have any control of my body. everything around me seemed different and i knew the edible had kicked in. i started laughing at nothing in particular, just laughing uncontrollably. satoru turned to look at me and started smiling

“y/n… you’re high as hell right now. your eyes are super low” he said and started laughing

“so are you.. your eyes are super red” i told him and laughed again

“yeah but i’m not as high as you, i have a higher tolerance” satoru said

“i’m craving something sweet. you want your ice cream?” satoru asked as he stood up. i nodded and he went to get our ice cream. we ate our entire thing of ice cream in 20 minutes

“toru im boredddd” i said, no longer wanting to watch the movie

“me too, what should we do?” he asked

“let’s play hide and seek in the dark!” i said excitedly while laughing

“okay, i’ll count first. you hide” satoru said. i jumped up off the couch and began turning off any remaining lights in the house. satoru turned the tv off and started counting with his eyes closed. the only light we had was the moon light that came in from the windows. i tried to run up stairs but it was hard because of how high i was. by time i finally reached the top step i heard satoru say 29

‘…30, ready or not here i come!” he said as he immediately started coming upstairs. i bursted into my room and hid under the covers on my bed

“you can’t play hide and seek when you’re high y/n, you’re way too loud” i heard satoru say as he laughed. he was standing right in front of my bed

“no fair! you cheated” i said. satoru laid down next to me, trapping me underneath the covers

“why would i cheat?” he said. i wiggled free from underneath the blankets. i turned on my led lights with my remote and then turned to look at him

“because you know that i would’ve beaten you” i said as i looked back at my remote, turning my led’s to the color pink

“nah, i’d win” he said before laughing again

“i want a rematch” i whined. satoru was about to answer but his phone started to ring. he pulled it out of his pocket before he answered the phone

“yeah she’s okay now…she’s right here…okay” satoru said before he handed the phone to me. i took it

“hello?” i said

“you feeling okay?” suguru asked me

“yes i’m fine” i told him

“okay, i was just checking up on you. don’t worry, i’ll beat yuta’s ass for you” suguru said. i laughed at him before telling him to hang up because me and satoru were playing a game. we said our love you’s before we hung up

“are you really okay though?” satoru asked me. i handed him back his phone as he stared at me. he was still laying down on my bed, looking up at me as i was sitting up

“yeah” i said

“he didn’t deserve you y/n. you’re a good girl, you deserve someone who’s going to take care of you and love you unconditionally” satoru said as he sat up, not breaking eye contact with me. i wanted to say something but my words were stuck in my throat. i don’t know if it was because of satoru or the weed, but my body started to feel tingly

“someone who will protect you, and cater to your every need. be there to wipe the tears off of your pretty face” satoru continued as he gently touched my cheek with the palm of his hand

“toru…”

“someone who will make love to you. send you cute little texts throughout the day. bring you treats just to see you smile. take you out on dates” he said as he used his other hand to touch my other cheek. i watched as his face was now inches away from mine. i felt like my heart had completely stopped beating

“and the only man who can do that for you is me” he said before he gently kissed me. i was so shocked that for the first 2 seconds of the kiss i was completely still. after i got over the initial shock i kissed him back. after a few seconds, he pulled back. we stared at each other for a minute while we caught our breaths before i leaned forwards and kissed him again, in which he immediately kissed me back. this time satoru put his tongue in my mouth. the feeling of his tongue against my tongue made me moan. i put both of my hands in satoru’s hair and he gently laid me on my back, my head now resting on my pillow. satoru broke the kiss and looked at me for a second before he started kissing me neck. i moaned again, a little louder this time. my hands still in his hair. i’ve never experienced this feeling before in my life. i could feel satoru’s dick against my leg. i moved down slightly so that it was touching right where i wanted him. i started grinding myself against him and closed my eyes at how good it felt.

“f-fuck, you’re killing me y/n” satoru said as he stopped kissing and sucking my neck and looked at me. the eye contacting we were holding was enough to make me cum right then and there. satoru put both of his hands on my hips to keep them firmly in place. he then started to slowly grind himself against my pussy as i wrapped my legs around his waist. i was so thankful that we both had thin pjs on. my eyes rolled to the back of my head

“oh my go- toru don’t stop… yes” i moaned, now gripping his hand that was pinning my hips down against the bed

“fuckkk… you look so sexy right now” satoru said as he looked down at me. i could feel his dick getting harder and harder by the second

“toru… please fuck me” i said between moans. satoru groaned at my words before he bent back down, kissing me again. his hips kept grinding against me, his pace quickening

“please…please..please toru please” i said, begging him to fuck me. i reached in-between our bodies until i felt the waistband of satoru’s pants. i was about to put my hand inside of his pants before satoru grabbed my hand, stopping my movements. he stopped moving against me and just looked at me for a few seconds, catching his breath

“are you a virgin?” he asked me

“n-no” i said, avoiding eye contact because of the embarrassment of still being a virgin

“don’t lie to me y/n” satoru said

“yes…” i answered, still not making eye contact

“y/n…. i can’t have sex with you” satoru said as he sat full up, i sat up after him

“why not? it it because i’m a virgin? i can take it i promise” i told him. he laughed at me before speaking

“you being a virgin is a small reason why, but not the main reason” he said

“then why?” i asked him

“i don’t want to upset suguru. he would kill me. plus you’re high right now… how do i know that this is what you actually want and it’s not just the weed making you feel this way?, how do i know you actually want me to be your first time?” he said as he laid down on the other side of my pillow

“what?! how would suguru even find out? i won’t tell him” i said as i turned to look at him

“i already left a hickey on your neck. i wasn’t thinking, i got too caught up in the moment” satoru said as he pointed to the hickey on my neck

“i don’t care what he says. i’m 18 now i can do whatever i want!” i said, slightly frustrated that satoru was making it seem like i can’t do anything with my brother’s permission

“y/n…”

“i want you satoru. i’ve never wanted someone so much before in my entire life… it’s always been you. i want you to want me too” i said to him. he was silent for a little bit before he grabbed me by my arm and had me lay down on his chest

“trust me y/n, i want you. i just want to wait for the right moment to take you…because once i fuck you, you’re mine forever” he said. i looked up at him, heart fluttering at his words

“ your boyfriend just broke up with you.. i don’t want you acting rashly. you’re also a virgin so i feel like you might be in a rush to lose your virginity… an 18 year old virgin.. i can’t believe it” satoru said, teasing me. i lightly slapped him on the chest

“not funny” i said. he laughed and grabbed my face before he pulled me into a passionate kiss

“this isn’t fair. you got me all worked up and horny just for you not to fuck me” i told him

“did that yuta guy ever make you cum?” satoru asked me. i shook my head no

“no, we never did anything sexual… he was too busy fucking maki and eating her out” i said and rolled my eyes

“so… you’ve really never gotten head before?” satoru asked

“no. never” i told him honestly. the look in his eyes changed

“lay down” he told me. i opened my mouth to ask why before he cut me off

“now. and take your pants off” he said. i immediately did what he said, feeling excited. i watched satoru get on his knees and then open my legs. i immediately covered my pussy with my hands, feeling extremely shy even though my panties were still on. satoru started laughing

“don’t be shy now” he teased. he slowly removed my hands

“relax baby, i’m going to take good care of you” he said as he slowly pulled my panties down. my embarrassment started to slowly dissipate as i got more horny looking at him

“you’re this wet after a little bit of dry humping?” he asked while laughing

“shut up toru” i said, a smile on my face. satoru took my panties all the way off, throwing them on the floor with my pants before he looked me in the eyes

“are you sure?” he asked me, any hints of joking completely gone

“positive toru” i said as i smiled at him. he smiled back at me and laid down on his stomach. he slowly ran his finger in between my folds before he stopped at my clit. he started rubbing slow circles on my clit. i bit my lip so i wouldn’t be too loud. i started breathing harder as my heart starting racing faster

“i wanna hear your pretty moans baby” he said. before i could respond to him i felt his warm tongue lick up my pussy. he ran his tongue back down before going up again, this time stop at my clit and circling it with his tongue. his lips then latched onto my clit and he began sucking on it. my hands immediately went to his hair as i started tugging on it. i sat up some to watch him, moaning flying out of my mouth every second. satoru looked up at me and kept suck on my clit without breaking eye contact with me

“toru… you look so fucking good… don’t stop baby” i said, moaning his name. he moaned, clearly turned on by my moans. the vibration from his voice made my body jump in shock and pleasure. he used his left hand to grab my thigh to keep my legs apart as his right hand came up and started massaging my other thigh. satoru stopped sucking on my clit and sat up on his knees again, his face was glistening with my wetness mixed in with his spit. i was about to ask him why he stopped before an entirely new sensation ripped through my body. satoru put one of his fingers inside of me

“t-toru” i said, out of breath

“let me know if you want me to stop or if it’s too much for you okay?” he said as he looked at me, i nodded my head and felt him start to move his finger in and out of me. satoru never took his eyes off of me, he watched every reaction i had to this fingers. he then slowly entered another finger and then a third. my face was full of tears, it felt so good, my mind couldn’t catch up with the pleasure. i had my eyes screwed shut, moaning uncontrollably as i begged satoru not to stop. his pace began to pick up

“fuck… you’re so tight” satoru said while biting his lip. i felt him start to hump against my leg, feeling just how hard he was. i started to feel a weird feeling in my lower abdomen

“toru-“ i said but all the words were knocked out of my body as satoru had began sucking on my clit again as his finger’s continued pumping in and out of me

“satoru… satoru!! i’m going to cum” i yelled, my back arching off of the bed. after a few more seconds, i came. satoru kept fingering me and sucking on my clit until i was too sensitive to take anymore

“so how was it?… let me guess… spectacular?” satoru said as he looked at me, sitting back up with a big grin on his handsome face. i smiled

“more than that” i said as i pulled him on top of me by his shirt and kissed him. he kissed me back and we made out for a little bit. after he pulled away i yawned, now suddenly feeling very tired

“are you tired now?” satoru asked me

“a little” i told him, getting comfortable in bed

“put your pants back on before your brother walks in here tomorrow morning and sees you” he said as he laughed, standing up and grabbing my clothes off the floor before handing them to me. i lazily grabbed the clothes and began putting my panties back on without getting all the way out of bed. i saw satoru walk over towards the bedroom door

“where are you going?” i asked him, stopping my movements

“to double check that the front door is locked and then to my room” he said as he turned to look at me

“can’t you sleep in here tonight?” i asked him

“you want me to sleep in here?” he asked me. i quickly nodded my head and he smiled

“okay, let me go check the front door and then i’ll be back” he said before he disappeared into the hallway. i continued putting my panties on and then my pants before i got comfortable again in my bed and waited for satoru to come back. after a little bit longer, satoru walked through my door, closing it behind him

“sorry it took a little longer, i had to grab my charger from my suitcase” he said

“it’s okay” i said and smiled at him.

“i brought your phone from downstairs too” he said as he handed me my phone. i told him thank you as i turned and put it on the charger. i read the time and saw that it was 3:21am. i heard satoru plug his charger into the socket before putting his phone on the charger and then placing his phone down on the dresser on the other side of my bed. he then laid down next to me. i scooted over until my head was against his chest. i looked up at him as he looked down at me. i couldn’t believe satoru was laying in my bed right now

“goodnight toru”

“goodnight princess”

———————

WHEWWWWW this chapter was longgggg, it literally took me 6 straight hours to type out, i make up the chapters as i go so it takes a while. it’s probably gonna be a few days until i get the next chapter out. while i was typing this chapter i kinda felt like y/n’s aging was confusing. she turned 15 and was a sophomore but she graduated and is 18? so lets just act like all of that makes sense, since i didn’t realize my mistake until now lol. anyways i hope you all enjoyed this chapter, i’m not very good at writing smut scenes. please let me know if it was bad lmaooo, see y’all in the next chapter… byeeee

[reki-of-the-valley]

Summer Time (Family) Madness

lmao it's been like 6 months since the last time the last revision. And like 2 and a half years since the end of this fic. But alas. At least I'm still working on the revisions. So here's an updated chapter 6!

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AO3 | Original Chapter 1  | Original Chapter 2 | Original Chapter 3 | Original Chapter 4 | Original Chapter 5 | Original Chapter 6

It wasn’t uncommon to find Langa hidden under the counter at DopeSketch. Normally, it was to avoid having to interact with any of the customers; Reki was just naturally so much better at the whole customer service part of their shared retail job. Now, however, Langa found himself more often than not with a book on his lap as he sat cross-legged on the floor. Now, he spent his shifts groaning about the homework that was assigned on summer break of all times. 

Thankfully though, DopeSketch really wasn’t the busiest shop in town. Langa could get away with his time wasted watching videos instead of reading his novel, or all his lost minutes staring at the same math equation. Barely anyone entered the little shop, and those who did never stuck around for more than a few minutes, browsing the few shelves of skateboarding equipment. So, during the shifts where Langa remained cooped up in the small shop, watching the sun beat down on the smiling people in the streets, he got to do homework. If he had to explain to someone what he was being paid to do, the most honest answer he could muster was that his paycheck covered the cost of someone playing the role of a babysitter for a store that most definitely would not up and run away. Or maybe he was being paid to keep his grades up since he had nothing better to do than work on his assignments.

It was a miracle Oka still gave him shared shifts with Reki. It didn’t take a genius to know that employing two best friends was not the ideal recipe for productivity, but maybe the man knew how lonely it could get in the shop. Maybe that was why he let the boys keep each other company during their long shifts. And that was what they did; even if they silently did their own separate thing, at least they had each other. As long as they were together, everything would be okay. As long as they had one another, the day wouldn’t feel eternal. And sometimes, a calm and silent afternoon was exactly what they needed. 

Langa groaned as he leaned back against the counter, tipping his head back in annoyance. He had tried, he had really tried to get a head start on his summer schoolwork. He had really tried to power through his assigned readings as fast of possible. He had tried to get it over with as soon as possible, but that determination was too good to be true. When it came to actually doing it, it proved itself much harder than anticipated. And Langa hadn’t been proud to admit that his reading skills could almost rival his handwriting. 

“I don’t get it.” His eyes fell shut as another sign fell from his lips. “Why do we need literature? What’s the use of old books no one cares about? Even in English, I sucked at it. I just…” The world reappeared before him, brighter than he remembered it to be just a few seconds ago. “I don’t get it! And I just don’t care!” 

A pen was clicked a few times as Reki hummed to himself. He must have been sketching in the margins of his notebook instead of doing the math problems he had said he would be doing. He had to have been; the pen strokes were far too methodical and repetitive to be that of writing. 

“I don’t know, man. Something about culture and it’s important we know about our past.” A smile broke across Langa’s face as he peeked out from under the counter just as Reki surrounded the last part of his statement with air quotes. “But I can help you if you want. But in exchange,” red hair fell to the side as Reki leaned over to get a better view of Langa, “you gotta explain to me our next English project. ‘Cause like, that man talks way too fast for me to catch a single thing he says. I’m pretty sure I understand those American sitcoms better than him, and I never know what’s happening in those.” 

Langa chuckled as he agreed on their deal. Reki would be helped with some English homework and Langa wouldn’t fail yet another written assignment; this friendship definitely had its perks beyond the whole having a friend thing. And it wasn’t even like Reki was exaggerating about their English teacher; the man really did speak way too fast. It also did not help that he had the heaviest accent Langa had ever come across, occasionally slurring his words and making it hard for even Langa to perfectly understand what was being said. But at least he had the advantage of being completely fluent, even if his grades didn’t always reflect that, which meant he could rely on the instruction sheet rather than the verbal expectations. 

Silence reigned once more in the little shop, both boys having returned to their individual activities. Quiet, methodical pen strokes echoed against the walls; the sound of rustling pages made its place in the song being composed in the little skateboard shop. It was quiet and relaxing, peaceful even. 

Langa had come to appreciate watching Reki work his crafts, be it doodling in the margins of his notebooks or his repetitive shaving of a board. Whether he knew it or not, he made the funniest faces as he concentrated on his work. Sometimes he would furrow his brow, leaning closer to the paper before straightening out to continue adding endless details to his drawing. Other times, he would stick his tongue out as if that was what helped keep focus on his work. And once he completed something he was particularly proud of, his eyes would glow with pride as he held his piece up to the light. That was the face Langa liked the most; it was the face of someone who was proud of themselves, and Reki deserved most of all to be proud of himself. He deserved to be proud of himself, to see himself the way Langa saw him. None of that frustration that would often overcome him as he would huff and rip the page out of his sketchbook or notebook. No more crumpling and tossing of masterpieces he simply could not see. If it were up to Langa, none of that would ever happen again, but for now, he would content himself in collecting Reki’s trashed art. Even if they weren’t up to Reki’s standards, they would always be works of art to Langa. 

Langa loved watching Reki draw. It was quiet and tranquil, a moment where Reki wasn’t bouncing around, talking with his hands, words stumbling over themselves as he went on and on. And as much as Langa loved Reki’s endless energy, he also deeply appreciated the calm moments they would share. But as with everything else, good moments must come to an end, the door chiming as a customer walked in. 

“Welcome to Dope— Oh, hey Emily!”

Langa perked up at the name. Emily? Why was she here of all places? Langa had purposely avoided telling her where he worked in hopes of getting away from her. Dope Sketch had been the only place Langa could go to escape the teasing remarks and those eyes that stared straight into his soul. It was the one place where he felt safe from her badgering questions about his oh-so-obvious crush on Reki. Work had somehow become his little slice of quiet heaven, and now that bubble had burst. Now, she had found him and his hiding spot. 

Reluctantly, Langa pushed himself off the ground only to smash his head against the counter and crash back down. He held the top of his head as she let out a whiney cry of pain. 

“Dude! Langa!” Amber eyes fell onto him, eyes filled with worry and shock. “What’s up with you and hitting your head lately?”

If Langa had known the answer, he would have told Reki. Or maybe he wouldn’t have. Maybe it was all those distractions, distractions disguised as the people hovering around him. Maybe it was Reki and just how absolutely distracting he was, be it while he would sketch, his face will with concentration, or when he would kneel next to Langa, his beautiful eyes still wide and filled with worry.

Between Reki and Langa, there was no doubt that Reki was the more accident-prone one. He was the one constantly sporting bandages for his sprained ankles and wrists. He was the one scraping his knees after wiping out from trying another new trick he had found on the Internet. He was always the one laughing as he fell on his ass, his board flying from under his feet. Reki was so much more the accident-prone one, at least when it came to skating. When it came to their daily lives, Langa was starting to believe he was the clumsy one, if the last two weeks were any indication. He was the one tripping over his untied shoelaces, eating pavement as Reki choked on his laughter. He was the one splitting his eyebrow open on a window frame in the dead of the night. He was the one smashing his head against the counter instead of greeting his cousin.

“Is he… Is he alright?”

Emily’s head poked from above the counter, her hair a curtain for the nook under the counter. She must have climbed onto the counter to see what mishap was happening away from her prying eyes. And given the frown that pulled at the corners of her mouth, she mustn’t have been proud of clumsy Langa.

A flood of memories washed through Langa at the sight. It wasn’t the first time she had looked down at him like this. Somewhere, somewhere long lost to the fog of memory, this exact situation had happened. But somewhere in those memories, there had also been smiles. A flash of a faceless childish grin. A flash of a girl hanging above his head. A flash of blond hair blocking the sun. Some distant chatter. A storybook. A treehouse. Grass. Laughter. Summer.

Reki pulled Langa from the floor, pulling him out of his impromptus trip down memory lane. He looped his arm around Langa’s waist, holding him tightly as if he were afraid that Langa would drop back down to the ground as soon as he would let go of him. Or maybe Reki feared that Langa had concussed himself; thankfully, that had yet to happen. A miracle, really. 

Langa let himself be guided towards the stool Reki had been using earlier. He let his body crash against the wood as soon as he felt it brush against his thighs. If Reki was asking him to sit, then Langa could not refuse. He could never refuse Reki, no matter what it was he was asking. He had learned that the hard way, and there was no way he was going through those torturous days without Reki ever again. No way, especially not when Reki was this close, squeezing his way between Langa’s knees, his rough yet soft fingers holding onto Langa’s burning cheeks. Especially not when he was letting Langa hold on to his waist as he steadied himself onto the stool. Because obviously he needed something to steady himself; otherwise, he would have risked falling again. And he couldn’t fall again. Or was it too late for that? 

Reki was so close. So fucking close. Langa could practically count the freckles scattered across his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, his ears… He could almost count every short lash of Reki’s. And he was talking so softly to Langa. His voice was just so mesmerizing, so magical. 

“How’s your vision? Do things look blurry?”

“Not more than usual.” A frown pulled at the corners of Reki’s mouth; so much for cracking a joke to lighten the mood. “My vision is fine if that’s what you’re asking. I see just fine. It was an accident; didn’t think I was that far under the counter.” 

 “And your head? Does it hurt? Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel like—!”

Now, had this been some teen summer romance blockbuster, then maybe Langa would have quieted Reki with a spontaneous kiss. And maybe that would have been the beginning of the best summer of Langa’s life. But Langa was no movie protagonist and, while he was gutsy, he wasn’t that impulsive. So instead, he simply tightened his grip on Reki’s waist, interrupting the boy’s panicked questions. 

“I’m fine, Reki. I barely bumped my head against the counter. I’ve dealt with far worse in the past and I’ve survived every one of those blows.” 

“You smashed your head against my window frame the other day! I don’t know dude, but that’s kinda worrying! You could be concussed or something! Like, it’s not normal or good for you to constantly be hitting your head! You’re,” Reki’s voice dropped, his eyes finding Langa’s, “you’re not lying to me, are you?”

Reki had never made it easier to smile. “I’m fine, I swear. And I’m not lying to you, I promise.”

Reki huffed as Langa held up his pinkie finger. A light chuckle fell from his lips as his hold on Langa fell away before returning, his own finger curled around Langa’s. A promise had been formed and sealed, a promise that could no longer be broken, at least according to the rules of pinkie promises. But that touch didn’t linger, Reki finally backing away from between Langa’s legs. 

“I’m getting you some water and you better not have moved when I get back, you hear me?” 

Langa scoffed but still gave Reki a curt nod. There was no point in arguing with Reki; if he had to tape Langa down to the chair to keep him from getting up and wandering around, then he wouldn’t hesitate to do so. So Langa knew better than to try to argue. He simply watched the boy dash to the backroom where their bags were stashed. 

It never took much for Langa to look absolutely smitten. All he needed was a door swinging shut behind Reki, leaving Langa hidden from judgement. All it took was that adorably serious expression on Reki’s face as he ran off. All it required was for Reki to be, well, Reki. Everything about Reki was enough to leave Langa floating, because Reki was adorable. Seriously, absolutely adorable. 

“He sure it touchy with you.” 

Langa jumped at the sound of the voice, having forgotten about the girl standing by him. She had since gotten off the counter, but still, she leaned over it, eyes also glued to the door. The English almost sounded strange, like a foreign dialect taking over a safe space. Emily’s presence felt wrong, as if she had no business being here, next to him. Her presence left Langa annoyed once more, the feeling tugging on his insides. Work had always been one of the places where it truly was just him and Reki. Sure, sometimes Manager Oka would pop in, but most of the time, it was just Reki and Langa. Most of the time, it was a space for just them, somewhere where no one could burst their little bubble.

Dope Sketch was one of the few places where Langa didn’t feel self-conscious every time he snuck a glance at Reki. It was the only place where he knew he wouldn’t be caught by anyone. It was the only place where he felt he could be so unapologetically himself, knee-deep in his feelings without the fear that someone would bring it up, tease him about, or worst of all, call him out on his dumb crush. Here, at work, it was a land that belongs to only Reki and Langa. 

“He’s just treating me the same way he treats his sisters when they get hurt.” Langa’s tone was sharp and dry, leaving little room for a retort from the queen of annoying. “Probably just his brotherly instincts kicking in or whatever. It comes naturally to him to be caring, y’know?” 

“Uh-huh, sure.” Emily clicked her tongue as she climbed back onto the counter to sit cross-legged on top of it. “You keep telling yourself that, Lover Boy.” 

Langa had gotten his fair share of nicknames over the course of his life. He had gotten used to being called a variety of names by the people surrounding him. Reki often teased him by calling him Prince Langa, a name which made no sense to Langa given that he was the furthest thing from a prince. His mother still called him her little man or her baby, which, the more Langa thought about it, were hilarious things to be called. And Emily had gotten into the habit of calling him whatever passed through that thick skull of hers, though she did tend to favor the twig insult. There had been so many names that had shaped Langa, but Lover Boy had never been one of them. Lover Boy was… it wasn’t Langa. It was a name for someone with confidence, someone who was a smooth talker, things that were definitely not Langa when it came to people. Those were things that left Langa’s inside squirming with discomfort. It was a name he wanted to run from, and the best way to do that was by completely changing the subject before Emily could ever bring it up again. 

“Hey, Emmy? Did we have a treehouse as kids?” 

Emily scrunched her nose as she turned towards Langa. Her brow was pinched, looking strangely at her cousin. “Yeah? Grandpa built it when I was 10, but had to take it down that same summer for some unknown reason, don’t you remember?” 

Langa shook his head with a shrug. 

“We spent nearly the entire summer in that tree. But why bring that up now? That’s so random.” 

Langa shrugged once more. He wanted to change subjects and had had a flashback right after hitting his head. It was random, but that was the thing with foggy memories: they reappeared at the strangest of moments. 

“Seeing you looking down on me reminded me of that summer, but I wasn’t sure if it was a real memory or just my brain making things up. It’s just… It’s all a little haze, like every summer memory overlaps. I can’t really tell what happened and when, except the really big events that often got us in shit. Like that one time everyone thought I broke my arm after I fell from a tree? The first time we were allowed to go to the park alone and got home like an hour after the set time? Or that time we accidentally splashed paint on Grandma’s carpet?” 

“Oh man! She was so pissed at us! The stain is still there, you know? Almost faded, but you can still see it if you know where to look. And like, I was so sure she was going to rip our heads off that day.” 

“Yeah, she was not happy about that one. But the treehouse…” Langa leaned back on the stool, careful to not tip over and crash once again. “The memory feels fake. It’s like I had made it up to give myself some resemblance of a real childhood.”

“But you did have a real childhood, Langa. Sure, it was maybe a little unconventional with all your snowboarding training and competitions, maybe a bit of a gifted kid childhood, but you did still have a childhood. Your parents still took you out to the park when you were a kid and weren’t such an antisocial mess.” Emily stuck her tongue out at Langa’s pointed glare, grinning at the low blow. “But for real though, you had a pretty normal childhood otherwise. Like your parents used to push you on the swings for hours on end when you were a baby. Apparently, you like those things so damn much that the only time you would cry was when someone took you out of your swing.”

Langa slumped down on his stool, ducking his head in embarrassment. The swings were one of those vague baby memories he still had. He had forgotten the whole of it, but he did remember the wind in his face and how much liked it. Still likes it, actually. That had maybe played a big part in why he had gotten into snowboarding in the first place. Maybe that was why he still loved skateboarding so much. All Langa wanted was to be able to fly.

“We spent summer after summer together, playing in the basement and outside and all around the grandparents’ house. And you even throw the biggest temper tantrum ever in the supermarket because your mom didn’t get you the cookies you wanted.” 

“I did not do that.”

Emily snorted at Langa’s defensiveness. “Uh, yes you did. Auntie Nanako even has the pictures to prove it and she showed them tome. Something about despite not being pleased with her yelling child, she needed physical proof of you being a total brat out in public so that if ever you have kids and want to kill them for screaming in a public place, then she’d show you that you were no better despite being the quietest, shyest kid ever. Something about every kid throwing a temper tantrum at the most inconvenient of times. And then you’d just have to deal with it and understand your kid’s point of view of some shit like that?” 

Langa bit the insides of his cheeks, not quite wanting to believe the story. His mother had always insisted that he had been an exceptionally easy child, though a little worryingly emotionless. He would rarely argue or cry, so the possibility that he had been an absolute monster in the middle of a supermarket because of a box of cookies, it felt wrong. It felt impossible. Out of character. Fabricated, especially since Langa didn’t like cookies that much. 

“But it’s not because you weren’t part of the popular group at school or that you didn’t hang out with the other kids at the park after class that you lack a childhood. Childhood is… It’s a lot of things. Like trying to teach you how to do ballet. Or watching movies during lunchtime. Or playing video games in a basement.” 

“I think you mean repeatedly hitting me with a Wii remote because I somehow managed to beat your high score on Just Dance.”

“You weren’t even trying!” 

Langa chuckled at the girl’s outburst. “Just have to learn the mechanics of the game to win. You don’t actually have to be good at dancing. Or dance at all.” 

“You…”

Emily huffed, but it wasn’t long before her frown broke into a grin. Laughter spilled from her lips as Langa swatted her hand away, dodging her attempt at a hair ruffle. Because even if they were going down memory lane, Langa sure as hell was not letting her treat him like he was 5 years old again. 

“I know you feel like you’re a big weirdo and you didn’t have a childhood since your past doesn’t look like some American Walmart Thanksgiving commercial, but I can guarantee you had one. And a damn good one, for that matter! And you also definitely made mine a whole lot more memorable and fun. Like, I don’t know what I would have done without my little baby cousin to play with all summer long. Most probably would have turned out a whole lot worse than I have had you not been there to entertain me and keep me in check.”

Despite Emily’s teasing tone, it was her sentimentality that really stood out to Langa. And he never knew what to do with that. He didn’t know how to respond to the girl who always seemed so energetic, always so ready for the future. She wasn’t one to reminisce, tripping over memories from the past. Or at least, that was how Langa had always perceived her; that wasn’t the Emily he knew. To him, she was someone who lived to tease and annoy him, wholeheartedly. She wasn’t one to smile as softly as she was now, a light mist covering her eyes as the ancient years rolled by like a silent film. Those brown eyes, they were made to shine from mischief and scheming, not from the threat of tears. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Langa felt something in his chest. His heart? Was it beating? If it was, it sure wasn’t the same heartbeat as when he was around Reki. It also wasn’t the same heartbeat that would race as he would slide through the world on a board. No, this time, it was going slower, feeling calmer. It beat with such a different feeling that Langa could not name it. It wasn’t excitement; it wasn’t anticipation. Was it perhaps nostalgia? Safety? Was it remembering what it was like to be a little kid, scrapping his knee as they played soccer against the garage door? Was it finding his first best friend, the person who had once been so important to him? It wasn’t anything like being with Reki, exciting and energetic and new, but still, it was nice. It felt like forgetting the distance that had estranged him from the girl who had been his only friend for so many years.

“Em,” Langa felt himself choke up, but he had to say something. He couldn’t remain silent. He couldn’t let the moment die. He couldn’t leave things unsaid, things he’d later have to bury deep within himself because it would be too late. He couldn’t let this moment pass, let the words fester until there would be no one to say them to anymore. “You also—!”

“Sorry it took so long! I just couldn’t find my water bottle anywhere, but I finally found it!”

Reki’s head poked out from behind the door as he held the bottle in the air. Almost like magic, all signs of tears vanished from Emily’s face. She perked up, a grin lighting up her face. And with such a grin came the dawning realization that all hell was about to break loose, the girl leaning dangerously close to Reki. 

“You should feed it to him.” 

Never had Langa felt so mortified in his life. He didn’t even dare look at Reki; his eyes remained on Emily who was now giggling hysterically to herself as she kicked her feet in the air like a child. For the first time since landing in Japan, she didn’t stumble on her Japanese words. They came as naturally as if they had been English. There had been no hesitancy whatsoever, which only made it worse for Langa and his stupidly burning cheeks. No need for a mirror to guess the color of his face; the blossoming heat was the only indicator he needed. 

“You feeling sick, man? If you need anything else, you’d tell me, right? If you’re not feeling well, you can go home. I’ll tell Oka what happened, don’t worry about it! I promise he’ll understand and I’m totally capable to working alone! You don’t have to worry about me at all!” 

Emily may not have hesitated, but bless her word for word translation passing over Reki’s head. And bless his not asking what she meant; explaining would have been far too awkward. Otherwise, there would have been more hesitancy in Langa’s grabbing of the water bottle before chugging down half of its contents. 

“I’m fine, Reki. Really. You have to stop worrying so much about me. And Emmy’s just being a bitch who thinks I can’t do anything on my own.” 

“Not my fault you were a mega crybaby back when you were a kid.” The shrug was just for show, but the twinkle in her eye was the real jab. “Took you forever to figure out chopsticks, I was convinced the grandmother was going to have to feed you until the day you die.” 

“Wait, but if I remember correctly, weren’t you the family’s crybaby? Because I’m pretty sure I saw you sobbed uncontrollably that time your pink spoon was dirty and you were forced to eat with a purple one.”

“I—!"

“I can’t imagine either one of you crying.” Reki’s voice cut through the argument, both turning towards the boy. He was glancing away, refusing to meet either of their gazes. “You guys are both just so… not like me.” 

The forced, bitter laughter that fell from Reki’s mouth broke Langa’s heart. Crying had always been a sensitive topic for Reki. He had never liked how easily his emotions could get the best of him. He hated how easily tears formed at the corners of his eyes. Just the idea of crying left him insecure, feeling like less than those around him. And Langa, well, he hated how Reki felt obligated to bottle up his feelings, not wanting to let others see his sadness or distress out of fear of being seen as less.

Langa remembered the first time he had seen Reki cry. It had been a hard time for both of them. It had been hard on Reki who had been holding back his tears until the dam broke free, a flood of tears pouring from his usually bright amber eyes. All his sadness, all his stress, all his insecurities had been let out, a ticking timebomb that exploded at the worst possible moment. And it had been hard on Langa who hadn’t known what to do. He didn’t know how to comfort Reki. He didn’t know what to say to him either. He didn’t know how to deal with everything that was happening so quickly, all around him. 

Since then, Langa made sure to remind Reki that crying wasn’t a bad thing. There was no reason for him to be ashamed of the tears. They weren’t a weakness. They weren’t a character flaw. It didn’t matter what other said or did or how they looked at him. None of it mattered; all that mattered was that Reki knew that crying was natural. All that mattered was that he didn’t find himself hating himself more for letting it all out. 

“Someone willing to let others see them cry is the bravest and strongest kind of person out there,” Langa had once said when Reki looked like he was holding back tears. “Not only are they honest with themselves, but they’re also not afraid to let others know how they’re feeling. There’s no point in hiding when you’re hurt.” 

It wasn’t every day Langa knew what to say, but in that moment, he remembered his mother’s words. They had been said to him when he was at his lowest, but still, he hadn’t taken them to heart. Still, he hadn’t let himself cry. But thankfully, Reki had listened. Thankfully, Reki had let it all out, weeping into Langa’s shoulder, hiccupping muffled words into a soaked t-shirt until he passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Reki didn’t need to be like Langa. He didn’t have to put up some emotionless person. He didn’t need to be ice cold like Langa. He didn’t need to look like he was ready to fight whoever got in his way or brush off everything anyone said. He didn’t need tears to be foreign to him. 

Reki, he was allowed to be emotional. He was allowed to be messy with his feelings. He was allowed to care about everyone around him and he was allowed to feel something about what as being said about him. He was allowed to cry his frustrations out if that was what helped him because Langa would be there. Langa would always be there. He would always be a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold if Reki so wanted. 

Emily’s fingers curled around Reki’s forearm, leaning in closer than strictly necessary. “Don’t cry! I was kidding, you know! Langa is more than capable of taking care of himself! See? He can drink all on his own!” Her fingers dug into Reki’s skin, nearly breaking it as she gestured frantically at Langa with her other hand. “See? He’s a big boy! Totally capable of using his weird lanky body all on his own!”

Had it not been for the far more natural and pretty laughter that bubbled out of Reki, Langa would have hit his cousin upside the head. Or thrown the water bottle at her. Really, anything to shut her up. But Reki was rubbing at his nose, a grin slowly making its way across his face once more. There he was, smiling and bright, just the way Langa like it. Because while Reki was allowed to cry, it didn’t mean Langa liked it. If he could have it his way, he would have kept Reki happy for the rest of eternity. If he could keep Reki laughing, then there was nothing Langa wasn’t willing to do for that. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do to see that pretty smile blossom across Reki’s face. 

“So,” Reki straightened himself out as he fell back into his more cheerful and professional voice, “can I help you with anything? Looking for anything in particular?” 

Emily slid down from the counter, her eyes scanning the environment as she hummed. It was obvious she hadn’t come here for anything at all; all she knew of skateboarding was that they had wheels and Langa could go fast on his board. Other than that, she had never shown interest in the sport. 

“Not really?” Langa rolled his eyes at the girl’s words. “I mean, I was looking for something, but that was mostly company from you guys. I’m just so bored at the apartment with Auntie Nanako at work and Langa’s not there either and there’s just so much tv and doomscrolling a girl can do in a day.  So yeah, I was just bored and wanted to check out where you two spend your days.” 

Reki leaned against the counter, his eyes following Emily’s gaze and fingers. “That sucks. Can’t you visit around or something?” 

“Not fluent enough and definitely can’t read anything. I’d be lost in a matter of seconds.” 

Her fingers swept over rough boards and smooth helmets. The colors reflected against her skin, staining her momentarily as she moved across the little shop. She seemed so out of place here, surrounded by loud t-shirts and colors. but at the same time, Emily seemed at ease. She browsed as if she were in any other shop, her eyes flickering between the many pieces on display. There were no questions or disgust in her eyes; there was an understanding that this was just another sports shop.

“Well, you know how to skate?” 

Emily turned back to the boy and shook her head. So much was obvious; she didn’t have the scars that Langa had or the fearlessness. She was dainty and princess-like, the exact opposite of what a skateboarder should be. Or maybe she did have what it took to be a skateboarder. Maybe Langa was just afraid of the sudden direction of this conversation.

“I tried to do a bit of figure skating back in the day, but I highly doubt that’s the skating you’re referring to. I always had to be careful to keep my bones intact since, you know, dancing and all that.”

“I can teach you if you’d like. I promise I won’t let you get hurt. You got my hand to hold for as long as you need and want.”

Reki’s smile was… Emily’s laughter… Everything started to fade out. Everything but the ringing in Langa’s ears. Everything but the tightness in his chest. Everything but the twist in his gut. Everything but the choking sensation building up at the base of his throat. 

Everything was fading. Everything was buzzing. Everything was going to hell.

Oh no.

[polar-equinoxx]

A fic masterlist! Finally!

And here is my ao3 account :D

Take your pick, all of these are sfw, full of fluff or angst and definitely hurt/comfort; and are rated either gen or teen^^

More detailed summaries added underneath each one and oh my god this post is so long

featuring the main two of all of these bc why the hell not

Oh and the series on ao3 is linked in the headings of each sector :)

I will be updating this whenever I write more fics, so keep watch XD

☁️The heavens told me that clouds have been grey

all of my icemav fics! So guaranteed smooches <3 none of them link to each other unless they are in a seperate series ^^

find the masterlist here! yes I made a seperate post its because there are so many of them quq

🌟Canons shoot ships but not this one

all of my fics that could fit into the canon timeline, (featuring an occasional icemav smooch cus lets be for real they did probably kiss at least once)

find the masterlist here! yes I made a seperate post for this too lmao

Long-fics (5k or above)

🍁Hot Summer Nights to Cold Winter Days (18k words, 10 chapters split between two works)

Rated Teen, with fluff and a genourous amount of angst and hurt/comfort

When Goose and his pilot were allowed to go to Top Gun, then Ice couldn’t think of anything better. Only until he’d seen Maverick and fallen head over heels in love with him. That July Saturday had changed everything, Goose had gone, and Maverick had fallen into a deep dark pit, and Ice, wanting to look out for Maverick, had dived straight in after him, unwilling to let his wingman get stuck there. Ice promised Maverick he’d go to the ends of the earth with him, and that is what he would do, even if it meant they’d both hurt.

❄️Returning to You (25k words, 15 chapters)

❄️ Letters : Epilogue (1.5k words)

Rated Teen, a lot of angst. Seriously. But a lot of hurt comfort to make up for it :,) Oh yeah, the amnesia is the cause of the angst..

In the months after Goose’s death, Maverick has been forging a deep friendship with Iceman. So deep, in fact it feels like nothing could come between them, even though he hasn’t been entirely honest about exactly how he is feeling. It’s hard to do, but it only seems to get harder when a scouting mission takes a turn for the worse.

🌷Galloping into the Cold (5k+ words, completely a wip, 3 chapters right now)

Rated Teen, angst, fluff hurt-comfort, medieval au, they ride horses.

Thomas Kazansky, nicknamed Ice for the personality that isn’t even his; feels like he’s stuck in his pampered posh life. That’s until he falls off his horse and meets Peter Mitchell and realises he might have a chance to be something other than his surname.

🌙 when the human strokes your skin, that is when you let them in (29k words, 14 chapters)

Rated Teen, angst hurt/comfort and secretive mutual pining with miscommunication sprinkled on top

Top Gun. Top Gun! Maverick had only gone and actually done it, and it would be the best five weeks of his life, for sure. If only there wasn’t a distraction with the name of Iceman. Anyway, he was so relieved that he was going to do it and win that trophy with Goose. But many things don’t go to plan.

🌹Roses (5k words, a 4+1)

Rated Teen, angst, unrequited love, a lot of valentines days, pining and eventual fluff

Nobody in Iceman’s life has meant more to him than Pete Mitchell does. He’s dangerous and annoying but incredibly cute, and Ice thinks if he looks at him one more time with that smile of his, his legs are going to give out under him. Try as he might, he can’t say anything to address the crush he has on him. // Or, the four times Ice wants to admit to Maverick that he loves him and the one time he does.

🧊Not Enough (11k words, a 5+1)

Rated teen, angst, self doubt, abusive parents, mutual pining and eventual fluff

Iceman has been told one way or another and all through his life that he's not good enough, for whatever that may be. He dreads turning out even the slightest bit like his father, and he'll do everything in his power to stop himself from becoming like him. / Or, five ways people say to Ice that he's not enough and the one time he says it.

🐎Heaven In Your Eyes (WIP, 2 chapters at 3k)

They r cowboys, no-one dies, (!?!), they ride horses, with pining, fluff and friends to lovers

Thomas Kazansky is the notorious peace-maker of the new place in Colorado the people call Durango. Pete Mitchell was supposed to be passing it on his way to California, but the small town seemed nice enough to stay for while. For some reason, their paths keep crossing, but Pete, as rebellious as he is, doesn't mind. / Or, a western icemav fic that takes place in 1886

❤️‍🩹Goose lives AU (Goose lives and there's no such thing as DADT)

❤️‍🩹Seasick (1632 words)

Rated Teen, sickfic, hurt/comfort A mission is flown, the mission is successful, but a certain Pete Maverick Mitchell is seasick. Badly.

❤️‍🩹Saved by Sickness (2037 words)

Rated Teen, sickfic, hurt/comfort, this is how Goose lives lol The thing about Iceman is that he never gets sick. Or at least he thought he didn’t. Most of the time it was just a cold. Most of the time he jut felt a little bit more tired for a couple of days, then he was back to normal. This was not one of those times, as he's about to find out.

❤️‍🩹Spur of the Moment (3788 words)

Rated Teen, with fluff, pining, Goose and Slider embarrassing both Ice and Mav, and no DADT cus who am I to do that??? Maverick is about to fall asleep standing. He's so tired that the last thing he's going to be thinking about is what comes out of his mouth. Especially if it's 'baby'. Especially if it's to his wingman. Or, Maverick calls Ice 'baby' for the first time.

��Angelus AU (The icemav boys are angels, but that isn't normal)

🕊Growing Pains (1494 words)

Rated Teen, patching up injuries, angst, post-argument, hurt/comfort He doesn’t know how he gets to his bathroom, but once he reaches a point that lets him lift his head up to try and see his back in the mirror, he’s immediately chucked into a pit of horror and disbelief. “Oh god-” His wings were growing. God dammit of course they had to choose tonight to start.

🕊Cold Wings (2137)

Rated Teen, patching up injuries, fluff, hurt/comfort

The good news? Ice was there. / The bad news? There was blood all over his back and he was about to collapse over the sink. / “Oh jesus christ-” Maverick says as he shuts the door behind him and goes straight over to him, dropping the towel on the floor. || Or, Ice's wings decide to appear at a very awkward time.

🌠Shooting Stars (A small series where the icemav both stargazed as kids and Maverick dated Charlie beforehand)

🌠Starboard Half Light (3104 words)

Rated Gen, with pining, and hurt/comfort

It had been such a tiring day, and so emotionally charged too, so why was Maverick still wide awake? It seemed like the only option he had left was to go see Iceman, his newly titled wingman. Hopefully he was awake. Maverick just wanted to talk to someone. Or, Maverick and Iceman talk on the starboard side of the USS Enterprise for the entire night

🌠Shooting Stars (1886 words)

Rated Teen, a lot of kissing and pining. So much kissing seriously.

Maverick has always loved stargazing, ever since he was a kid. He has also had a crush on Iceman ever since he laid eyes on him. So what better to do than go stargazing with him, right?

🌠Afterglow (1635 words)

Rated Teen, hurt/comfort obviously with mentions of guilt tripping and Mav's past relationship with Charlie

“I- I promised…” “Hey, hey… you don’t have to be s-” “Yes I do,” Maverick interrupts him. “I promised her I wouldn’t because she’d- she…” She? “Who, Mav?” Or, Maverick wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to hide the nightmare he's just had from Ice, because he knows what will happen if he tells him.

[sanddusted-wisteria]

An update on my fics

hey wow it's been 4 months

Nearly six months on both longfics lmao. I've been busy and will continue to be busy, unfortunately. Grad school is a different beast entirely to undergrad (be careful taking 3 grad classes in a semester. 2 heavy ones can really make you regret it), I need to prepare for job interviews and PhD program applications, and this summer I've been wrangling an internship and research work.

Even so tho, my MTAS brainrot is far from dead. It takes a lot of time and effort, but I still have a lot I want to do with the My Time verse and my OCs, both art and fic. So here's a quick update on where I am and what the plan is with my fics and fic series going forward, and some previews of what I have so far (on a separate post bc this one's already too long lmao)!

TL;DR: busy, but still writing! WIP snippets on the next post.

[Long post and rambling belowwwwww]

Earth and Sky

Currently my primary focus. E&S has evolved a TON since I decided to rewrite it. How much? Well...

[Drafting = first draft is in progress; Revising = draft is plot-complete, set aside for future editing passes]

In fact, I haven't even outlined the ending chapters since I recently had a change of heart in the kind of resolution I wanted. I got stuck on it enough that I decided to forego outlining anything for now and playing that one more by ear. I think any more time I spend tweaking these outlines might put me off this fic altogether :P

As someone that started writing with nameless/generic builders, writing for an OC is a different kind of challenge. I'm working to try and strike a good balance of focus on Wis vs Qi vs them together, and making Wis a very human, if not enjoyable character. Still, I think that this is one of those projects that if I can get right, it will be VERY right. It'll just take a bit to get there first :>

At minimum, I'll wait until most if not all of the chapters in the first third/quarter are done (chapters 1-16) to start posting, though hopefully I'll also have a solid idea for how some of the later chapters will go as well. Those are the really (internal) conflict-heavy chapters and I want to make sure it won't come out as shallow :P But I am excited to show you what I've got cooking!

A Cosmic Garden

This is the broader series for Wis and Qi. E&S will be the biggest fic, but it only goes up to a little beyond MTAS's Act 2. Beyond that, my plan is to write some side stories that go into Wis's Lore(tm), namely her origins as an Old World clone and her interactions with other Wis clones around the Alliance.

Why side stories? Well, a) any plot involving Wis as a clone is relatively spread out across the timeline of MTAS's story, since it's actually not that closely tied to her "main" storyline (being the first clone I made when the clone story was just kind of just a bullet point on their lore descriptions, it's less involved), b) it therefore doesn't really affect the story of how she and Qi get together, and c) I know that people might be far more interested in just the romance story with Qi (which is totally okay! I understand, I'm pretty much in the same camp with OC-centric stories a lot :P)

As for the equivalent of MTAS's Act 3, this won't be one cohesive fic, but a small series of smaller stories, since I don't really have too many ideas for a fully fleshed out telling of Act 3 that doesn't just walk through the main missions without much deviating from that. Some of those stories include:

A series of conversations between Qi and Miguel post Act 2

A Nia/Mi-an story

A silly little oneshot of Qi and Rosie interacting (tentative)

The original idea that Strangeness and Charm sprouted from; Wis and Qi conducting a methodical study on non-sexual intimacy (tentative)

The finale of the MTAS main story

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop

Currently on pause. For now, there's just too much OC brainrot for fics and on OTAS that I just need to get out. Don't worry! I'm absolutely not abandoning this one. I just can only really focus on one big project at a time lol. We're close to the end of this story's act 2, though not much of the remainder is written. In fact, chapter 34 is already done, but not chapter 33, so I can't quite post it yet. I think after I get the first part of E&S done (or I suppose whenever I feel like picking it up), I'll switch gears to at least get to the end of Act 2. Act 3 will need some reevaluation...I've hemmed and hawed over it forever, but I do want to finalize the plot for that one, and also potentially get started on that as well.

Others

To the...5 people that read my Grace/Wis miniseries, I really do still want to get that done a;sdlasdralsdrkj It's been hard since my thoughts on how Grace and Wis interact after Act 2 have changed a lot. But even so, I hate to leave it hanging there, so I've started working on it again. It's already outlined, I just need to get it filled in.

Someday I should come back to Quiet Moments in Sandrock... My art's gotten a ton better since then and there's a few ideas I still have leftover that I never got to. Unfortunately I need to make room for it somewhere in the 13438525 other art ideas I have that I can only do like 1 per week at MOST asdlrkasdasdrjksdrj

Sitting on the back burner forever in my writing folder is a fusion of Junji Ito's Uzumaki and MTAS... An MTAS version of Uzumaki's story works SURPRISINGLY well, and Wis and Qi I think make for stronger protagonists in this setting than Kirie and Shuichi in theirs if I do say so myself lol. It's fully outlined and everything, but that's gonna forever be on the back burner until either my longfics get done or I figure out how to write horror, whichever comes first 😂

So all in all...still cooking! Thank you if you read all this, and thank you for your patience, especially if you've been closely following any of my in progress fics. Hopefully once the interview and application cycle is out of the way this fall, I'll have more brain capacity to really plug away at all these and share with you all! :>

[azures-grace]

i give you two options

a. the entire list of questions

or

b. 2, 5, 14, 20

Challenge MCFUCKING accepted

Questions at the end

1. 4 published, but technically I worked on The Shadow of the Wicked but didn't publish anything for it.

2. One shots!

3. Fallout lmaoo

4. 2, Skyrim and Fallout, 3 if you wanna get technical and say My Father's Name is FNV and Too Much has Fallen in Mine is Fo3

5. Butchicity.... Goober n Gore......

6. Butch DeLoria and Moira Brown

7. Yeah! Started writing for Fallout, and the new ships would be Moira and Lissy and Butch and Lissy but that technically hasn't actually come up in any writing yet. There's stuff I've been writing for it tho.... But for later.....

8. TMHFIM, it was really special to me because it was like... The first thing I was able to write after being really depressed for a long ass time. God bless antidepressants.

9. Ooh... Hard question. I was really happy to work on all of them, but I think Let me hold you until I soften your hands made me the happiest because it's just. Pure fluff.

10. One of the oneshots, I'm a whore for unfinished long fics nshdjejdbd

11. Uncanny Blood, mostly because I wanted to work on later parts a lot and had to figure out travel times and then had to write a whole extra chapter even though technically I had 2 chapters after it written, so currently the fic is at a standstill because I have to write chapter 3, even though I have 4 and 5 ready to go 😔😔😔

12. None of them lmaoo. My Father's Name, probably. I know the beginning of New Vegas pretty well.

13. Shortest: My Father's Name, Longest: TMHFIM

14. Depends on when in the year I was? I've got a couple character playlists n stuff sorry for the terrible answer lmao djsjjzbd

15. TMHFIM, I was stuck between several titles, but I'm using at least one of them for a later chapter, so all is well.

16. Let me hold you until I soften your hands. Makes me emotional

17. "Evenings by the fire were always their favorite part of the evening." Or "Her father had been… distant lately." I feel like both of those set up the tone of the story pretty well. And I giggle at the sentence mistake in the first

18. Well. I've only got two of those. But it's " “I think I'd like that, blood.” " which makes more sense in context. I'm gonna go cry about it now.

19. Eheheheh my favorite part. I have 2

“Hey,” Amkar said lightly. “Even if there's no real information here, at least it's very pretty to look at. Those Nords sure were on to something…”

“Weird to hear that from a Thalmor soldier,” she pointed out, pulling out her journal and beginning to sketch the crarvings.

“Just because I'm a racist doesn't mean I can't enjoy art,” he said.

She took a long pause trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. “Are you joking?”

And

“Hey!” a voice shouted from above.

She looked up, shading her eyes with her good arm. “Hi?”

“Are you a raider?” the voice called down.

“What's a raider?” Felicity asked, flabbergasted.

“Sherrif! You should get over here, there's some weird girl covered in blood at the gate!”

20.

“Oh? Family? You're not some deranged lunatic who spawned into Tamriel with a poor haircut and a strangely lovely taste in music?” Caryalind had pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at her.

21. I don't think so...? I think what surprised me most is how terribly Bethesda's characters in Skyrim are developed, I guess? At least for the minor ones and the general factions. Too many bandits. So I gave them personalities.

22. Google docs 😔

23. Felicity punching Moriarty, no question about it.

24. Nope

25. I didn't, I guess? Just... Fell into a writer's block and then came back months later.

26. Looooots of fanart, my azure arted tag has almost all of it.

27. None in the fanfic world, but I had 2 art trades this year and that was fun! I'd love to do more in the future.

28. My friends who listened to me ramble about my characters :]]

29. Finish up Chapter 6 of TMHFIM!

30. Oughg more TMHFIM and maybe a New Vegas fic or prequel that covers Celeste? Those would be fun...

[wrongcaitlyn]

Glad you’re taking a break considering All That, I hope you get the time you need!! For the ask game: 4, 7, 10 and 23??

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

almost always yes! for shorter fics, i either go in completely blind (like my renegades or streamer au) or type out little scene descriptions (like, for the nerds au: nico's sick; arrival to school; uno; etc.). but for longer fics/plot-heavy fics, i usually have two main outlines: one that covers the main plot points, the things that are definitely happening / when those will occur, and then one that i regularly update with the scene by scene ideas so that when i start a chapter i know what i have to get done.

for tyt, i have like... five different outlines. one for album releases, one for chapters + one-shots (like, when the one-shots fit into the main storyline), one for scene by scene outlines of chapters that are only going a few chapters ahead, one for pre-tyt lore, and one that outlines the main big events.

album releases change a *lot* because i'm constantly changing little parts of the plot, so usually i just stick to the year i say i'm gonna release it, and then the date gets moved around quite a bit! pretty much all of the other outlines are constantly changing as well, but the scene by scene outline is the one i struggle with the most... i only plan a few chapters ahead in scenes because i almost always end up going either over or under the planned word count with the scenes i planned (i'm HORRIBLE at estimating this) so then i either pull from the next chapter or move a scene (or 2 or 3) to the next chapter, or sometimes i'm even creating brand new scenes just cause i feel like it. so... i stray a lot

and just for reference, this is what my main outline doc looks like!

Chapter 20 (january) rachel one-shot Chapter 21 (february) telling drew about engagement + hiring katie first show madison square garden tweets about tour sadie and carter + the rest of the crew and will + leo + jason releasing single on first night of tour - the archer hazel pov dead ends and moving research to jake

clearly, some things changed. katie was not hired yet (will possibly be eventually, if i can find a way to include it, so not that much of a spoiler), i didn't really do tweets about the tour, and the crew stuff was all combined into just an instagram post. didn't end up releasing the archer, decided to move that to a later date. but the gist of it is there and this was one of the rare occasions where i actually managed to fit everything that i planned for in the final draft of the chapter!

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

party scenes. god i HATE those if i can i'll always just turn it into a piece of social media or something, i remember being stuck for like a month on that stupid halloween scene back in the first tyt chapter. and then i nearly got stuck on that will party scene before i decided to just cut it out completely.

aside from that specific type of scene, probably dialogue or just finding the time/motivation to write. dialogue has gotten relatively easier over time, but i still think i'm much better at an internal dialogue rather than external. as for time, as we all know i've got a lot of work for school to get done, and usually by the end of the day when i've finished all my hw/studying i just don't have the energy to write something, which sucks because i've usually been thinking about it all day :/ so it ends up getting crammed into the weekend, which can be hard if it's just not a writing day for me! but i still try my best to make time for it because i really do enjoy it and am unhealthily attached to tyt lmao

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

probably exposition! i love including little details into the internal dialogue, as i said earlier, it's my favorite part of writing. so i think that would count as exposition, even if a lot of times i worry about just infodumping... either way, writing that first hazel chapter? SO much fun. i just get to completely dump all of her lore. after you spend so long thinking of the context and background of characters/new settings, it gets really exciting to finally put that all in there!!

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

ooh i feel like i would love remixing tyt just because there are so many opportunities there and so many different ways their lives could go. that's probably the basic answer just because that's my main fic rn, but like??? i love it sm. i might change it so nico comes out earlier, or maybe hazel found nico earlier, or maybe nico's father doesn't die, or... god, so many options. it's either that or my hunger games au so that i could remix it to have a,,, non-MCD ending lmao, but i do love the actual ending. very angsty, very fun.

[jichanxo]

senseific update ⭐

am gonna talk about senseific and my writing goal last month, so this is a long post ↓

my goal last month was to add 5,000-10,000 words to my senseific wip, and at 12:05am on the first day of the next month, i made it to 10,000 words 😭🙏 so stoked!! i made some serious tangible progress. for once. lol

it's currently at 45k words. i'm not sure exactly how much i added, since i deleted some of my placeholder writing and that cut into the word count as i worked, so realistically i added a bit more than 10,000, though i have no idea how much. either way, i made it!

i got a first pass done of all the dance club stuff, which is... the writing equivalent of me Eating My Veggies. it's not always the most fun (especially covering things that happened in canon) but it's necessary. feels like i've been stuck there forever, and now i can move onto other things... until of course i have to proofread it, but shhh...

robotics and boxing are next, i think. still very lost when i think about the biker stuff 😭 i did end up mentioning the skateboarding in passing, but i don't think i'll do much with that since the plot is so short. (i guess shikishima will turn up at the finale anyway?)

anyhow that still means there's a whole lot to do, and i need to keep doing my notetaking on the clubs 😔 back to the mines...

since i added so many words to chapter 3 (since i finally filled out the conclusion to the dance club plot) i had to change where i split chapters 3/4!

currently things look like this:

chapter 1: 7,011 words (this one needs minor adjustments when i sort out my shit with robotics club)

chapter 2: 6,895 words (i have a spot marked to add a robotics club scene)

chapter 3: 9,990 words (The Dance Club Conclusion. so she's fucking Big. after i take a break i'll need to give it a second pass)

just from looking at the word counts of these chapters you can see why getting 10,000 words done was a big deal for me... got a big chunk done...

chapter 4 got a new title and i shoved a few of the end scenes of chp3 at the start of this one instead. after that is an unfinished boxing scene, then some kitakata related plot to look at, so those are probably the next things i'll aim to get done.

chapter 4's currently called "talk too much", since the scene of kitakata saying something stupid to yagami got moved here instead of chapter 3. and also uh. gossip gets brought up. usually i need to think a lot for titles but this immediately felt right for once.

speaking of titles though, right now i'm unsure about senseific's title. again. but i have no alternative so i'll just have to keep thinking about it. maybe i need to ask around for opinions... it's not an urgent issue so maybe i'll stop worrying so much.

anyway it was kinda funny writing kitakata and yagami sorta getting along with the full knowledge that kitakata is going to ruin it all in an already written later scene 💀 don't give kitakata too much credit yagami, he's going to make you regret it later lmao

anyway i think that's everything. i wrote this text wall at 1am (though i will post it at a normal time)

[moranasgrave]

Eren X Morana Kraven (OC) sneak peek !

okay so this is a sneak peek of my wattpad story that’s coming soon! it’s the one i have the most progress in right now and it’s gonna be a longgg one 😝. i will be using an OC of mine bc it’s fun to create characters and backstories of my own and her backstory is based off of someone i know who gave consent for me to write this story. also please let me know if i should write this in 3rd or 1st person so far im doing 1st but i’m not sure.

disclaimer : morana kraven is not the same as me morana. she’s her own person that i based off of someone i know irl (with consent ofc), i had the OC named first actually but i love that name and it goes with my real name so that’s why it’s my user on everything. so no this isn’t a self insert or anything like that i already have a self insert character lmao i just wanted to clear that up.

( CHAPTER 1/2 SNIPPET )

also this prob won’t be proofread yet lolz this is just a small portion of chapter 1 that’s in the form of a drabble! it’ll be much better in the book.

okay i hope you enjoyyy chapters 1-3 should be uploaded to wattpad by august the 25th 🫶��� then after i’ll be releasing 5 chapters at a time.

Morana knew she wouldn’t be able to attend this party unless she pregamed first. Her nerves were shot through the roof.

Everything happened so fast with meeting connie, her new plug and close friend. To meeting his friends for lunch at the mall and shopping, and finally getting invited to the back to school party that was happening at Zeke jeagers house.

Connie insisted she come and meet the rest of the people they’ll be hanging out with and Sasha said she’d cry if she didn’t come so here she was.

She got ready with pieck her new roomate, and sasha while connie passed 2 blunts around the room, along with a bottle of Casamigos. They shopping so she had confidence with her brand new outfit and her blunt.

Standing at the front door as connie and pieck impatiently banged on the tall wooden frame, Morana felt so good with all the alcohol and weed dancing in her system.

Eren sat on the couch lighting a blunt waiting for his other friends to arrive. He was already pissed off because his ex mikasa and her little crew of wannabes have been staring him down all night. Purposely walking past him and laughing to eachother and dancing where he could see them.

They broke up 4 months ago after mikasa said some cruel things to him. He had enough of her bad attitude and stuck up ways, she treated him horribly. She only cared about them being the most popular couple at school, but he loved her.

Mikasa was cut throat, she used her popularity and her mindless minions to tear down anyone who stood in her way. Pissing off her ex was a daily task though, her way of still letting him know she was around and not going anywhere.

He dreaded this school year all over again. The next 3 years having to endure this pain alone, no one understood him for real.

He needed his lively friends tonight to get his minds off of things. He perked up in his seat when he heard the loud banging at the door. A devilish grinned crept onto his face as he shifted in his seat, putting out the blunt momentarily so the others could join him.

Jean speeds walking from the kitchen pushing random people as he yells “GOT DAMMIT IM COMING YOU MANIACS.”

Connie’s the first to walk in, wearing an all black nike tech with some jordan’s as usual. His matching diamond earrings and chain sparkling brightly in the lighting of the party. “PARTYSSSS HEREEE”, he shouts as he spots eren jogging over to him.

Sasha and pieck walk in booty bumping and being loud as fuck, clearly both drunk, the pair wearing similar versions of moranas outfit. Morana steps in last greeting jean with a smile and a light hug.

Erens eyes immediately divert towards them, spotting morana his jaw slacked a little as he gawked at her. She had on a black pleated mini skirt with one of those belly dancer tie-around-the-waist scarves draped around the skirt. The gold metal plates jingling together with every step she took. She had a cropped longsleeve black skin tight skirt on with her leopard print bra that peeked through the top, boobs kindly threatening to spill out the top. Black leg warmers running down her tanned smooth legs, and some clear heels that displayed her leopard print french tip pedicure.

‘Wow she is fucking gorgeous’ eren thinks as he continues to stare. Mikasa catches this and saunters her way closer to the scene.

Morana wore her infamous huge black juicy couture purse that had an assortment of pins and keychains also jingling with every step. Her long crimson red hair was down and curly but not in it’s natural state, more of a tight wand curl that gave it a more kempt appearance. She had it half up half down with her bangs curled falling over her forehead. Her strip lashes long and spiked with black eyeliner smudged around her eyes. She changed her face jewelry to gold diamonds to match her outfit, her nose, cheek ,belly, and lip dazzling against the light.

Eren noticed every little detail in her outfit and made a mental note of how good she looked. He irritated himself with the thought of anyone seeing her how he saw her. Yea mikasa was beautiful and popular with everyone, but morana just had an essence and pure beauty that was unmatched. Her gorgeousness was something hard to put into words for eren.

Everyone finally makes their way over to the couch and starts settling in while the blunt makes it’s way around. Mikasa and her crew on one side of the couch, on their phones while mikasa talks to sasha. Eren hated that she still hung out with them, but that’s just how their group was no matter what they all still hung out and had eachothers backs.

Even though she broke his heart in the worst way possible she was still always welcomed. ‘what a joke’ he thought to himself.

Eren didn’t look her way once, instead focusing his attention on morana. She was sandwiched in between connie and pieck on the end of the couch. Diagonal from erens view in the middle of the couch next to armin and the guys.

Mikasa noticed eren staring and immediately followed his gaze to morana, pinching connie’s nipple and everyone laughing as he yelped and rubbed it. She scoffed under her breath, ‘of course he’s interested by her she looks like a hooker’ she thought to herself as she pretended to be interested in what sasha was saying.

“Morana i wanna kiss you bitch you look so hot”, pieck says laying across moranas lap eyes already glazed over. “Stoppp your gonna make me blushhh”, morana playfully hides her face from her.

“Can you guys stop flirting and pay attention to MEEE”, connie says passing the blunt to sasha. “Oh shit hold on before anything”, he stands up looking around at everyone. They all stopped their conversations and looked at connie.

“Everyone this is our new friend Morana Kraven, she’s going to our college this year and she lives in our apartments she’s piecks roommate”, he announces smiling proudly obviously excited about his new friend.

“Hey guys it’s nice to meet you all i hope we can be friends”, morana flashes a toothy smile to everyone.

Everyone gawks at her, Reinas the first to speak “Nice to meet you as well gorgeous.” He’s clearly already drunk but morana pays him no mind saying thank you sweetly.

Everyone goes around introducing themselves welcoming her to their hetic friend group.

“How do you guys know eachother”, eren finally speaks after everyone is done.

“I scared the shit out of her smoking on the porch last night and after she was done peeing her pants we started talking and we just clicked she’s cool as fuck, i think she’ll fit right in”, connie said squeezing moranas cheeks with his hands. “Connie stopp my makeup dude”, she laughs as she slaps his hands away.

Eren laughs and says “yea she looks like a perfect fit.” He secretly curses himself for being infatuated with her. He wasted 4 months of his life getting drained by mikasa, was he really ready to start looking at someone else the same way?

He sits back and watches her as everyone else begins interacting with her, making a mental note to get her number to do more research on her later.

Bertholt and reina start laughing hysterically, even annie cracks a small smile. “No yea she’ll totally be a good fit to our group we needed more girls, plus she’s super hot i mean come on”, sasha says shoving her hand into a random bag a chips that were on the table.

Everyone greets her with open arms, except mikasa. She stares intensely as she watches the boys get red in the face as their talking to her. Armin stuttering over his words like he’s forgotten english. The girls, annie and sasha even her dumb friend historia are gushing over her outfit and hair.

She gets up from her seat, her minions following suit as she strides over to morana standing directly in front of her. Hoping to scare her off from the group before she gets to comfortable.

Pieck sits up and scoffs taking out her phone and touching up her makeup with the camera.

“Mikasa Ackerman, you may of heard of me my fashion blog is pretty popular”, she said with her hands on her hips in a blasé tone. Morana looked away from pieck giving her a confused smile, “Um…sorry but i haven’t, i’ll definitely check it out though i love your outfit.”

Historia and Frieda wince behind mikasa, they knew they’d have to hear about this for hours tonight. Everyone in town knew mikasa, she was powerful there.

Mikasa felt her skin heating up, how dare she act like she doesn’t know her. She showed no signs of this though, she refused to look embarrassed infront of anyone. “Thanks, yours is to for like the club”, mikasa said back as she plucked an imaginary piece of lint off her hot pink mini tube dress.

Before she could respond mikasa made her way back to her area of the couch. “I’m historia and this is my sister frieda, you are so pretty by the way”, the short blonde girl in the blue version of mikasa dress says as she pulls her sister by the arm back to their spots.

“The fuck was that?”, morana asks pieck as she grabs the blunt from connie. “That was the most popular group of girls in the school they call themselves the 30, just stay out of their way they like run the school it’s ridiculous.” Morana nods her head confused about the name but shrugs it off. ‘i’ll ask her more later’ she thinks to herself as she hits the blunt.

She wasn’t dumb, she knew she had a huge secret she had to keep under wraps but she won’t let anyone punk her. ‘This is college not highschool, i don’t know how popular they could be’ she thinks to herself as she passes the blunt back to eren.

His hands linger on her for a second causing her to look into his eyes. “Wow you have really pretty eyes, eren right?” she says holding her gaze.

Eren finally breaks away sitting back in his seat. “Thank you i can’t tell if their blue or green they always mix or some shit, and yea i’m eren”, he say as he hits the blunt to hide his flushing face.

Morana laughs grabbing her chest, “Thats so cool i wish mine we’re a cool color.” Her eyes were black, she looked alien like because of how dark her eyes were and how whites the outer part was. When she looked at someone it was like she was peering into their soul. Eren was absolutely intrigued about this, it was as if her eyes were asking him to spill all his secrets, he almost wanted to give in.

“I think their pretty cool though, you are the first person i’ve seen with all black eyes”, Eren can feel mikasas eyes boring into the side of his head, but he refused to give her any spec of attention.

Mikasa was seething, some new random chick gets accepted into the group just like that? No one discussed this and why is everyone up her ass.

“Kay i gotta use the bathroom, come on girls”, she say quickly getting up and brisking away.

Eren continues casual conversation until morana says “OHMYGOD THIS IS MY SONGGG.” She stands up grabbing pieck and sasha’s hand. “LETS DANCE PLEASEEE”, she shouts over the music already swaying her hips to the music. S.O.S by rihanna is blasting from all the house speakers, everyone making a dash for the dance floor.

Morana looks back at eren, “Sorry that was rude as fuck, but we should talk again sometime! find me at school”, she says as she drags her friends onto the dance floor.

Morana starts really feeling herself when she gets to the dance floor. The lights flashing pink, then purple, then blue giving it a club vibe. The footsteps of people stomping drunkily around dancing on the black hardwood floors.

Morana pulls pieck into her turning around swaying her hips back and forth, using sasha as balance. Pieck immediately follows her lead grabbing her by the waist and following her movements. The sound of moranas belly dancer scarf and piecks chains that hung around her skirt were making a jingling beat to the music.

Morana spins around now face to face with pieck, she bounces around stomping her heels as she feels up her own body dancing between her friends. Eren is on the couch watching in awe, there were 100 people on the dance floor and she still stood out like a dazzling star.

He shifted his pants in his seat when started whining all the way to the floor then popped up, hands around her ankles as she was bent over. He could see her leopard print panties peeking under her skirt. “She’s hot isn’t she”, a voice says on the left side of eren making him jump.

Connie is leaning over his shoulder following his friends eyes towards the new recruit. “Yea whatever she’s cool”, eren says trying to keep his composure. “You should talk to her more after this, i think you guys will have a lot in common.” He slides over the top of the couch plopping next to eren.

“She told me to find her at school so we’ll see what’s up.” He secretly wished they would have at least one class together.

“Tomorrow morning we’re probably gonna wake n bake then help sasha shop for her apartment, you should comeeee”, connie sings raising his eyebrows at his friend. He could tell he was intrigued by her, and with the conversation he had with her last night he figured they could use eachothers company.

“Why the fuck not, jus come wake me up in the morning.” Eren found himself excited about this school year, if she was cool enough to win connie over that quickly, she had to be special. “Bettt we’ll have fun i’ll show you, this year will be amazing.”

They turned their attention back to the dance floor, a girl bumps into sasha, causing morana to almost fall over. “Watch there the fuck your going idiot”, the girl says go sasha. “Ew isn’t that the one who was stuffing her face in the kitchen?”, her friend says furrowing her brows in disgust.

Morana turned around as quick as the sentence came out of the girls mouth. “Yea what we’re not finna do here is talk to my friend like your crazy”, she says laughing. “How about YOU watch where YOUR going and watch your mouth while your at it too thanks”, she says grabbing sasha’s hand pulling her behind her.

“Who the hell even are you don’t start something you can’t finish, take your dumb friend and go back to dancing SLUT”, the girl says taking a sip of her drink.

Morana feels her blood go cold. She knows it’s probably just the alcohol but she hated when people insulted her friends. She’s heard the slut comment plenty of times but talking shit about her friend was doing too much. She closed her eyes trying to count to ten, when she got to 7 and still felt that anger she shrugged.

“I guess it can’t be helped huh”, she backs away from sasha stepping towards the girl close enough to kiss her. “Call my friend another name and see what happens”, she grits through her teeth. The girl leans her head to the side so sasha is in her field of vision, “DUMB. BITCH.”

Morana cracks a half smile before grabbing the girl by her hair and pulling her to the ground. She starts hitting her while her friend pleads on the side for her to let go.

“Ahhhh SHIT, THIS is part of the in common i was talking about, i should get her before she goes to jail”, connie stands up running towards the cat fight. Eren sits there watching as every hit she threw connected to the girls face. ‘She’s definitely done this before’ eren thinks to himself as she throws another punch. He’s kind of shocked that such a sweet looking girl could hit like that.

Mikasa and her girls were coming out the bathroom before they saw morana fighting. “EHMAGAWD SHES BEATING HER ASS”, historia exclaims throwing a fist in the air. “Shut it.”, mikasa warns her dumb friend to tone it down. “What an attention whore, fighting at a party is so middle school.” She walks off leading her girls to the backyard. She couldn’t handle watching everyone ogle that girl anymore. ‘I give her two weeks and i’ll have her out of here’ she thinks to herself as she pushes past people.

Connie runs up and grabs morana by the waist lifting her as high as he can. “ALRIGHT WERE OUT THIS BITCH LETS GO”, he yells as he starts hauling her towards the door. Pieck and sasha follow close behind watching their friend still cussing the girl out over connie’s shoulder.

They’ve barley just met and she already got in a fight over them. Sasha giggled “Thank you Momo you are the best bitch.”

Morana finally stops arguing looking down at sasha. Her face softens, “That was nothing i would’ve killed her if i was sober”, she said laughing a little embarrassed. Sasha could tell she was half serious by her tone which warmed her heart in a weird way.

“YEA YOU TOTALLY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER”, pieck says grabbing sasha’s hand as they make their way out the door.

Eren watched as connie left with the girls, feeling kind of sad that HIS party had to leave.

‘Tomorrow morning’ he thought to himself as he sat back thinking about her.

[angst-in-space]

july ‘23 writing progress

words written: 18.3k

most words written in a day: 1.8k

least words written in a day: 26

current yearly total: 103.8k

projects worked on:

- ya sci-fi book revisions - sylvix pacific rim au - matchablossom bed-sharing fic - altea rising ch 15 edits (AND I POSTED IT....AT LONG LAST...) - posted ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape fic - short story planning

works published in july:

you’re a dream (i’m never waking up) - chapter 9 (fe3h/sylvix) altea rising - chapter 15 (vld/klance)

july goals:

- write 30k for camp nano - rewrite 4-5 chapters of ya sci-fi book (up to ch 20-ish?) - post ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape fic - start editing ch 10 of dreamscape fic - start editing chs 3-4 of renga fic? - continue first draft of arctic monster book - work on various fics (sylvix pacrim, kazurei post-canon, matchablossom, red skies ch 8, etc.)

august goals:

- continue ya sci-fi book rewrites... erm... i’m way behind schedule but maybe will try to aim for like chapter 25 or so - edit/post another chapter of altea rising - finish sylvix dreamscape ch 10 edits and send to betas - continue editing renga fic if i have time??  - work on other misc fics  - maybe... work a bit on arctic monster book?? - write and submit short story

notes:

well.... this was an interesting month! because technically, in terms of word count, this was my most productive month of the year so far—but in terms of what i actually wanted to get done... well, not quite as successful LOL. but uhhh progress is progress, amiright?

i had hoped to write 30k this month and got to almost 19k so, missed my goal by about 11k lol (but still!! most words i’ve written in a month so far this year!).

i’d been hoping mainly to focus on book rewrites and get to chapter 20 or so but uhh... that did not happen either! i got Very Stuck on chapter 16 in particular so that took me most of the month. but i at least go through that and have almost finished chapter 17 as well! buuut i’ll have to rewrite... a lot more chapters this month if i want to stay on track to reach my self-appointed deadline. plus i’m having a lot of crises about my book in general lmao but guess that is all part of the process haha *gives a thumbs-up while tears roll down my face* ANYWAY. aiming for chapter 25 by the end of this month (and i’m trying to kick my own ass into rewriting like 1k words a day) so uhhh yeah. chuckles nervously.

in more positive news, i updated two whole fics in july after months of posting nothing so WOOOO!!! chapter 9 of sylvix dreamscape fic is finally posted after like 9 months, and chapter 15 of altea rising is posted after uhhh like 4.5 years lmao. with the latter, it’s been especially touching to see people so excited for it and that you were happy to see it update! honestly i had a LOT of anxiety about continuing to post it because i worried no one would care anymore, so it means a lot. :’) i definitely hope to keep working on both those fics and aim to update at least one of them by end of august!

i also planned out a short story that i’m hoping to write and submit to an anthology this month so *sweats* pray for me....i have not written a short story in ages, much less submitted short fiction anywhere lol but it’s something i’ve meant to try for a while!! 

otherwise, i’m not sure i’ll have time for much else because this month is going to be pretty busy for me on top of all the writing-related stuff i need to do. but hoping to maybe squeeze in some progress on other fics when i can (or when i’m feeling burned out on my book). sooo yeah i think that’s all for now!! 

[wrenwreads]

piano keys

music brings two people even closer together

pairing/s: peter pevensie x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of heavy rain, and my shitty attempt at someone playing the piano and them teaching as well (i don't play piano lmao 😭)

genre: arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 1.3k

a/n: this one's longer than normal (especially for my writing). i also thought i'd switch things up a bit and write for our dear peter. might write a second part as well, not sure yet.

The wedding had been beautiful.

That was one thing for sure. Susan had outdone herself once again with the festivities.

If only it wasn’t just for the sake of alliance, Y/N would have had appreciated it more. She had been stuck in her own mind for that half of the day — thinking of anything - everything - she could have done differently.

She did find herself lucky to be married to Peter.

King Peter the Magnificent.

Ever so respectful Peter.

Peter with his heart so big.

Golden boy Peter.

She had been reluctant. But after one meet up with the King and his first few words to her being “You don’t have to say yes. As much I would love to have this alliance, I respect your boundaries more.”

She had to give him a chance.

That was 4 months ago, the wedding being 3.

So far, their relationship had been nothing but respect and patience. Despite the rings on their fingers and the ink on paper, the two only really saw each other as acquaintances — or so they thought.

It had been pouring down all day in Narnia. Peter didn’t have a choice but to seize all work for the day, after all, Narnia wouldn’t function if its people were out making themselves sick.

The atmosphere had been nothing but relaxed, enhanced by the large drops on rain outside.

The 4 siblings had cooped themselves in the sitting room. Peter sat on a big arm chair reading a book, the story had gone boring 2 chapters ago.

Suddenly, soft notes of a piano started echoing around the room.

Peter looked up from his book, skeptical eyes scanning his sibling’s faces. “Do you guys hear that?” he asked. Lucy hummed, too concentrated on forming a puzzle she swore she’ll finish by the end of the day. Edmund just grunted, eyes not leaving the book he was reading. “Of course we do. We’re not deaf, Peter,” Susan had answered, although it was not the tone Peter was hoping for. He rolled his eyes, sitting on the edge of the chair. Book forgotten and his palms on his things. “Are you guys — not confused over the fact that there’s a piano playing?” he said, question laced with interrogation.

He’s so confused. Why are they treating this like some everyday thing?

Lucy rolled his eyes, finally looking up from his book. Her loud sigh caught Peter’s attention. He kept quiet, eyes looking at her to elaborate. “It’s Y/N of course.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t know that.” Edmund remarked.

The blank looks his siblings gave him after Peter confessed that — yes, he did in fact not know that his supposed wife played the piano — had annoyed him, he had to excuse himself out of the room.

His mind went rollercoaster, scenario after scenario in his head on why Y/N wouldn’t tell him that she played the piano.

He was too lost in his own world that he didn’t realise he had walked in the music room. The soft call of his name bringing him back.

“Peter? Are you alright?”

Y/N stood in front him, eyes wide in worry. His heart started doing palpitations and he swears his knees are going weak. When they first met, Peter couldn’t help but think that she’s really pretty. He means really really pretty. In fact, he almost called off the whole deal. He couldn't let someone's beauty go to waste just for an arranged marriage. He had appreciated hers (until now), he just didn't know if the appreciation was mutual.

It was only after the two started to get to know each other that Peter thought it wouldn't be too bad.

Her warm hand had made its way on to his arm, squeezing it lightly. "Pete?".

Y/N watched as Peter finally snapped out of his thoughts, blinking rapidly. She laughed quietly, bringing her hand back to her side. Once she deemed Peter conscious enough, she asked again. "Are you alright?". The man nodded, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "I— uh— heard!"

She looked at him skeptically.

"The piano, I mean. You were playing," he finally managed to get out, gesturing his arms towards the large equipment. He had mentally slapped himself a million times already. Peter thought he had the skills in him, but apparently not. For he was a stuttering mess in front of his queen.

She didn't seem to mind. Y/N only laughed, walking towards the piano once again.

Peter suddenly remembered what he came to see her for and followed, standing behind her. He watched as she delicately placed her fingers on the keys. She began playing an unknown tune, but Peter was still enthralled. The way her back was straight and her arms relaxed, her eyes darting from one side of the instrument to the other.

He stayed quiet, listening to Y/N play until the sound slowed down and she reached the end. He couldn't help but bring his palms together, his applauds replacing the sound of the piano. "You don't have to do that," she whispered, using her hands to lower Peter's to stop him.

"But why?," he whined, Y/N swore his eyes were going to burst out of their sockets. "I didn't even know you played piano. Y/N that was wonderful."

Y/N looked into his eyes, nothing but adoration swirling around. She could feel herself melt away but tried not to. She bashfully looks away, clearing her throat, finding words to reply to Peter's compliments. "You— uh, were away when... I started playing again.

Dad had taught me how to since I was 5. It was one thing we did together.

I hadn't done it since..."

Peter pursed his lips. He knew what she was talking about. There was always the ugly side of marriages between two kingdoms. The wife stays with the family of the husband.

"Do you know how to play?"

Peter shook his head. He felt his breath cut short at the smile Y/N sent to him. She scoots to the side, leaving room on the bench. She pats it gently, and Peter sat down.

“Let me teach you something easy.”

He sat still as Y/N took his fingers on to her hands and delicately places them on the keys. His mind once again pausing. “Stop being so tense”, she giggles, looking at him. “I’m not,” he denies.

“You so are! Just relax. It’s only me.”

It’s only me.

Yes, and you’re like really beautiful.

He thought.

He finally managed to relax himself.

Y/N taught him a few notes on the keys, occasionally guiding his fingers with her own.

She had managed to teach him an intro of a song he still doesn’t know. It was getting difficult for both of them to focus when Peter would just laugh at his mistakes, making Y/N laugh or when the other just silently giggles, affecting the other.

“What song is this by the way?” He asked as he played the intro himself. “It’s the kingdom’s theme song. Anthem, if you will. It’s usually one we teach children,” she explained.

Peter stopped, a comedic scoff escaping his lips. He looks at Y/N in bewilderment. “You’re telling me I’m playing something meant for children?”

She laughs. “More like for beginners.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he chuckled.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon playing the instrument and by supper, Peter had almost learned the whole thing.

“I assume that was Peter playing the horrendous noise,” Edmund had teased when they entered the dining room.

Peter could only smack his brother at the back of his head.

“Well, he’s learning. That’s for sure,” Y/N reassured, taking her seat.

The look the two gave each other didn’t go unignored by Lucy, Susan, and Edmund. The three chose to ignore it for now, letting the two discover it on their own.

thanks for reaching the end. once again, my requests and questions are open — feel free to ask. also, my edmund x reader series is gaining shape. i might post a teaser or blurb soon. xoxo

[uglifish]

How do you write long multi-chapter fics without losing steam or motivation?

Hey guys!

Been a while since I made a post answering all the FAQ’s in my inbox, and this is the one I get the most, so here goes my answer/advice:

▽ structure and continuity 

(and i still struggle with this lmao its an uphill climb)

1) outline or map out your story path. if it drags and you find yourself getting BORED with your writing or where the story is going, its time to stop, step back, and evaluate.

completely write out the storyline in short-hand nonsense as fast as possible, because its for you only, so go back to fill in the details later. if you want to see what MY outlines look like...... -embarassmentttttt-

Here’s a screencap from underwater chrysalis.

if you’ve read that story, you can probably recognize this scene was an entire chapter, but it was 5 nonsense sentences in my outline.

2) if you can sit down for X hours and write out the outline from start to end (yes, end of the story) then you have a solid skeleton to polish up :D

3) don’t worry about chapter splitting just yet. get it all out first

▽ Marathon time

1) set aside time for yourself to write it out. Find time for it at least once a week or once a day if you can manage that! DON’T leave it sitting for 2+ weeks--unless that’s your creative process--and if it is, and you recognize you get stuck here, leaving the fic alone for more than 2 weeks = abandoning the fic?? then proceed to this step→

go back to it and read it over and over, right up until the point where you stopped, ask yourself questions about where the characters are going (refer to your outline)/ why the characters are doing X scene ...etc (is there tension? is this part boring? why have you stopped writing? tired? take a nap:)

2) know when to ignore (writing) advice. and i wish someone had told me this when i first started marathon fic-writing. advice is great but its not a cure-all and maybe you’re exhausted from trying everyone’s suggestions. literally you do you, but keep an open mind to learn along the way.

3) if you run into a problem, like wanting to change an ENTIRE scene that will  affect the ending of your story, stop writing and go back to your outline. you’re wasting your own time this way. write to get to an ending.

4) know that there are formulas to long, captivating stories. its like a curve that goes up and down. (find a formula that works for you!) for me, it’s: scene start tension scene escalating tension resolve tension but then another conflict + 2 conflict + 1 romance = long 3 chapter scene :D scene resolving 1 conflict, romance + 3 yay! scene adding to conflicts and romance above tension resolution? another tension or romance resolve? which slowly helps taper to an end (which i still struggle with)

5) have fun! you’re exploring this character, this universe, don’t get too stuck up your own ass about stuff and let things go. if you finished a scene and re-read it, hate it, don’t give yourself crap about it. if you’re happy with it one day and unhappy with it another day, figure out why or just let it go. Your goal is to write as much as possible to finish your story to the outline you wrote. if you get hung up on the stuff in the middle, you’ll never reach the finish line.

▽ I’ve finished my multi-chapter my pile of crap. Now what?

1) don’t look at it, don’t even think about it. congratulate yourself and go to the beach :D get yourself a coffee and socially-distance-hang-out with your friends

2) 1 - 3 weeks later, re-read it ALL with fresh eyes. don’t tell your friends about it, don’t link it anywhere for feedback. it’s still ALL YOU right now.

3) re-read it round 1: edit it grammatically and for bulk. if you still hate that random interaction you added in, delete it entirely and set it aside. fix all grammar issues and add to more descriptions if some are lacking.

4) re-read it round 2: a week later with your own fresh eyes, make sure everything flows. did you say character X had a green shirt in ch 3 but in ch 4 they were wearing a blue shirt? fix that :O might be a genuine mistake, either you forgot or got up to leave your fic for 4 days and (forgot)

5) re-read again round 3: a week after that, read it again and find it for more errors, add more flow if some scenes have a choppy transition, and start to split it into chapters. Find natural breaks in your writing (or cliff hangers!) and cut them there. 6) recruit a friend! Ask someone you’re ok with baring your soul to and make them read your slightly less steaming pile of crap, which is now a polished turd. hopefully your friend will tell you it IS a polished turd and is OK for posting, or that you still mentioned green shirt character is wearing a blue shirt (again) in ch 56 and you missed it :P

7) post and run, or save it to re-read again 6 months later

i’ve been doing the post and run thing for a while if im medium-proud of my shiny turd, or if im really insecure about it, i’ll sit on it for even a YEAR before i even breathe about it. its not that i hate it, its that i feel it could be better and if i’m continuously writing during that time, I can go back to look at it with fresh(er) eyes.

▽ things to think about / stuff to ask yourself while writing:

- why am i tired (of this, of it?) know yourself and know your limits. if you’re tired (physically, of writing) learn to differentiate that from being mentally tired.

- who are you writing for? a friend’s bday gift fic? submission into Fanfic Award-Winning Novel Writers Club? A novel manuscript to Random House? Nanowrimo? your fandom rare-pair discord server? ....yourself?? and then figure out your motivations for the tone of your writing :D

- i suck at writing X (a violent action scene, smut, small-talk in elevator scene), so i’ll just skip it... no. if you think your story needs it, make your best attempt at writing it and then go back to edit it. you’ll be happy you pushed yourself to write it.

- i’ve never done X (been to a hotspring in Japan, gone hiking in extreme weather, gone on a blind date) how would i know what it feels like? Try your best to envision it or use the wonders of the internet to learn about it. Research is your best friend to express realism in your writing :D

aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all i got for now :O

*btw you know what works for you as a creative mind, this is all stuff that works for me and I hope you found it helpful!

thank you for reading this super long post, and feel free to PM me if you need a “get me unstuck” buddy in your writing process :D

xooxxo Ugli

[atalho-s]

Sweet Sugar

1 | Subterranean Homesick Alien

(gif it’s not mine! let me know if you’re the owner!)

pairing: tom holland x reader / tom holland x brazilian reader (she’s from brazil here, but you can picture her being of any place that you want! Since the story wouldn’t change bc of that) 

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut, but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.4 k

Summary: Y/n has always been best friends with Harrison and Tom. Since childhood they've always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom?

A conflict of feelings, the non-acceptance of falling in love and the fear of losing her best friend, all in the head of an 17-year-old teenager. And on top of that, still having to fear of not being accepted for college.

a/n: 

This is a series i have in portuguese on my wattpad! It’s kinda long and have 2 parts haha but i decided to translate to post here too :) 

It was my first fanfic ever, so be aware lol

I never been to europe, so i’m sorry for any mistake about city features or how school works...

I just want to thank @petesrparker​ : Gio you’re the best and thank you for always helping me and hype up this series since the beginning! Seriously, you’re the best, this story would be nothing without you 😭❤

She even did a playlist for this! ikr? She’s amazing 💕 you can check out here if you want! 

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It was 2 minutes to 7am and I was late for school. Running to put on my warm sweatshirt and getting ready psychologically to go out in a cold weather, I grabbed my keys and tried to lock the door almost dropping my backpack on the floor. It was almost summer, but my town wasn't disappointed in having very cold mornings and hot afternoons.

"Shit," I murmured as I kicked the door, insisting that didn't want to close it. "Why hasn't my mom called someone to fix this thing yet?" I spoke to myself and finally managed to close it hearing a click. Coming down the stairs practically running, I closed the small gate and strode down the street.

I lived with my parents in a town called Kingston-upon-Thames, in a tiny two-bedroom house, very close to the school. You just need to walk about 4 blocks and voilá, I could already see the entrance gate and the familiar faces of the gringos. I was in the last year of high school, just turned 17 and I was born in Brazil, but grew up in London, when my father had to move because of his work, when I was only 6 years old. Obviously we weren't rich, my father worked with woodwork, and my mother currently worked in a small flower shop in the city center. But when my father received an offer to move to another country, he didn't think twice. Learn another culture, a new language and still earn some good money?An offer that cannot be refused.

The first time we arrived it was very strange, only my father knew intermediate English and my mother and I obviously did not know a single word. But we quickly befriended a family that lived on our street: the Osterfields. Jenna and Carter were the parents of two children: Harrison, the same age as me and little Charlotte (newborn at the time). Harrison and I immediately became inseparable, and he became like a brother to me and our families became one.

Obviously with him, also came nothing more and nothing less than: the Holland family. Nikki and Dom had 4 male children, one my age: Tom, Harry and Sam twins, 3 years younger and Paddy who was born 2 years later. So the family just grew, our parents became best friends, and me, Harrison and Tom became an unbeatable trio. There was no Y/n, without Tom and Harrison and vice versa, we're always together.

We went to the same school since always. As Haz lived only a few houses below mine, we meet and go together and Tom, who lived on the other side of the school, met us at the gate every day.

I went down the street and saw Haz sitting on the wall in front of his house, fiddling with his cell phone with a earphone, as soon as I approached he raised his head and smiled.

- Finally, I thought you aren’t going to class today. - He said getting up and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

- Good morning to you too Haz. - I said laughing and hooking my arm on him, while we went down the street. - You know that now that my mom is working on the other side of town she leaves early and then I have to wake up by myself, which is clearly a problem.

- Sleepyhead, - he said and I playfully tapped his arm while he laughed.

- Well, i'm, what can I say? Sleeping is the best thing in the world. - I said. - Did you do the history homework?

- Wich history homework? - He stopped suddenly looking at me in shock.

- Harrison Osterfield, you are not going to tell me that you forgot the work that I talked about it every day for almost a month. - I said putting my hand on my waist scolding him.

- Well ... I completely forgot. - Haz said scratching the back of his head with the face of a stray dog. -I was busy decorating the lines from the play.

- Wow Harrison, that way you will fail and then you'll  came crying to me. 

- Ok mom, sorry! But was it for today? Can I copy it and give it to you later? 

- Ok, but just this time, and do me a favor to exchange practically all the words I used or i'll be in trouble. - I said taking out my briefcase, while he held my backpack and I handed him my work. 

- I love you... - he said giving me back my backpack and hugging me, kissing my head afterwards.

- And I don't love you at all, bummer. - I giggled and we rounded the corner of the school.

Tom was already leaning against the side of the gate with his backpack between his legs, talking to a guy who was doing theater with him and Harrison. He was laughing at something, wearing a black hoodie, his hair was a little messy under his hood and his nose was slightly red from the cold. For some reason my stomach did some flips as we approached.

Harrison and Tom were very handsome, there was no denying it, they were half nerds, half bad boys (in the sense of forgetting to study for the exam or not doing their homework once in a while), they did theater, they were nice and got along very well with girls since they started puberty. As for me, I was the nerd who was always concerned about grades and getting into the journalism college, I didn't always have excellent grades, but they were enough to pass or impress the professors when I felt inspired. I wasn't popular, but not a completely ghost too, because being best friends with the boys ended up calling attention in some way.

The only boyfriend I had was a guy named Steven, and also my first kiss, to at age 15, but we broke up last year. Steven was cool, but we had different views on things and use to think about completely different futures, so we thought it was best to broke up. And since then I'm alone and very well, thank you.

But since I broke up with Stev, for some reason I've started to have some weird feelings for Tom. Weird in the meaning of being shy around him, with whatever he does, or whatever words he exchanges with me. Which is ridiculous, because he's my childhood friend, and I never felt any of that with Haz, so why with him I feel? I always saw Haz as my brother, but with Tom it's different, and I never understood why.

Anyway, here I was with my heart beating faster and faster as we approached. As soon as we got close, Tom waved goodbye to the guy he was talking. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and patted Haz on the back, kissing my forehead afterwards, which I immediately feel my cheeks burning with embarrassing, but no one realized.

- Hey mates! Finally! I thought you weren't coming anymore.- he said as the three of us went through the gate towards the school.

- The madam here, was the one who ended up sleeping too much, I was also waiting a long time.- Haz said and I rolled my eyes, making Tom smile.

- I understand Y/n, I also love sleeping... By the way, I said I was waiting a long time, but actually I just arrived. - He laughed - Your mother started working on that flower shop, right?

- Yeah! She started today, so I'm still getting used to waking up just with the alarm without my mom pulling me from under the covers by my hair.- I replied and they both laughed.

- Which class do you guys have now? - Tom asked as we went up the stairs to the first floor where the class rooms were.

-Math- Haz said, rolling his eyes. - Actually, I really have to go, because if I show up a second late again Mr. Jones will kill me. - he said giving us a brief wave and running to the opposite side.

- I have philosophy, thank God, one of my favorite subjects.- I said raising my hands to the sky as a joke and Tom laughed.

- Wow y/n, I thought your favorite subject was biology and English.- he said and I stuck out my tongue, but feeling a little warm inside, these subjects were the ones we had together.

- Anyway, see you later? I have physics now unfortunately.

- Yeah, I'll be at our new favorite place. - I giggle, it had been a week since me, Haz and Tom found a perfect place to stay during the break, which was on the back of the school, on a hill next to a tree, where we had a full view of the students down there. It was perfect, because the warm morning sun was shining and we'd be left on the ground gossiping and watching what others were doing.

- See you there shortie. -Tom said kissing the top of my head, giving me a wink and leaving towards his class room.

- Look who's talking. - I said loudly for him to hear and he showed me his middle finger from a distance, laughing at my face.

I turned around smiling and headed towards my class. The first two classes were normal, nothing new, I was still a little sleepy, so I ended up almost sleeping in the second geography class, where I was almost kicked out by Mr Wilson, who let It pass this time. The alarm hit indicating it was break time and I thanked God, practically running to stay out in the sun.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and my headphones, hitting play on Radiohead's Subterranean Homesick Alien song and walking outside. I saw Steven with his new girlfriend Lily right on the way out, they were talking, hugging each other and looked very happy, he saw me and gave a smile from a distance where I reciprocated. Our break up went very well, without resentment, which made me happy.

I walked up the small hill and saw Haz and Tom already at our meeting place. Tom was lying down looking at the sky while Haz was sitting propped up in the tree.

- Did you guys miss me? - I said sitting next to Haz.

- Yeah, we were even thinking about how we could handle living without you y/n- Haz said and Tom chuckled.

- I know you two love me. - I said shrugging.

- In fact, we were arguing when you're going to have a new boyfriend. - Tom said and I froze.

- And who said I want a new boyfriend? I asked raising my eyebrow.

- We know you y/n, you starting to have your head in the clouds lately, always retweeting couple things and posting romantic songs, I can see that you're falling in love again.- Tom said, still looking at the sky.

- I agree. - Haz said taking the side of my earphone and putting into his ear. - She's even listening to Radiohead! And you always listen to Radiohead when you're in love. - I gave them a sarcastic laugh and pulled the earphone of his ear turning off the music making Haz laugh.

- You guys are idiots, I'm fine alone thank you, I just want to focus on my studies from now on. - I said and they both made a "hmm" in unison, making me roll my eyes.

- Actually, we were discussing where we're going to celebrate my 17th birthday tomorrow.- Tom said changing the subject, turning his head and covering the sun with his hand to look at me.

-Tomorrow is your birthday?- I asked pretending to be surprise and Tom rolled his eyes playfully.

- I know you two always look forward to my birthday, because you love me and want to surprise me.- he said and Haz and I laughed ironically. - But Marcos offered his house, because his parents are traveling, so we could make a cool party there! So I was thinking about calling the theater people and some of our friends like Julian, Tuwaine and etc, maybe getting some drinks too... - Tom said sitting down and cleaning some leaves that were stuck on his hoodie.

- I think it's a good idea, I'm not much of partying or drinking, but with you both I always have fun.- I said and Haz rested his head on my shoulder.

- Good to know we make you happy Y/n. - Haz said and I giggle patting his head.

- So we meet tomorrow? You guys want to stop by my house so we could go together?

- Actually, I have to go to my granny first, so I'll go from there.- Haz said and Tom gave him a thumbs up.

- Y/n you can go? Around 7pm it's ok?

-Of course Tommy. - I said and he smiled at the nickname.

- Okay, I'll wait for you at 7pm and I'll send you the address, mate.- he said to Haz as we got up listening to the bell ringing indicating the break was over.

- Deal!- Haz said.

- Deal. - I also said as we went down back to class.

The last classes were history, the subject I had with Haz and he returned my homework, assuring me that he had changed the words. We spend the whole class sending notes talking about nonsense and making jokes. Haz and I were pretty good at sending notes without the professor seeing.

But I confess I was puzzled by what the boys had said earlier, how did they have the impression that I was in love? I wasn't, was I? Was I showing too much that i had feelings for Tom? I don't know, I just know that the whole story had left me with immense anxiety.

The class was over and I said goodbye to Haz, because he had theater with Tom and I didn't have any extra activities that day. The only days that i had something was on monday, tuesday and thursday, when I have a school reinforcement to improve my notes to enter college. Which was a relief, since I had to run to the mall to look for a gift to give Tom for his birthday. I had been looking for weeks and I didn't find anything interesting to give to my best friend. Best friend isn't it? Nothing more than this...

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a/n: if you liked and want to be tagged on the next chapters let me know! 😊

[not-poignant]

First Lines Meme

List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

(Y'all about to see how bad some of my first lines are, lmao). Tagged by @lost-tanuki

I'm sticking with stuff on the not_poignant account, rather than thespectaclesofthor

1. "Efnisien had forty four books in his plain grey melamine bookshelf.' Falling Falling Stars

2. "Almost eight months had passed, the next time Gwyn saw Augus." The Nascent Diplomat

3. "Mosk was fascinated by the ice." The Ice Plague, Book 3 - The Ice Plague.

4. "The Mantissa was a huge ship, and Mosk found himself in a linen closet that had its own corridor, smelling of fish leather and the lanolin found in wool, amazed at the array of fabrics available." The Ice Plague, Book 2 - The Seething Seas

5. "They called him the King’s dog and the King’s executioner." The King's Dog

6. "Ash’s hand came up to rub at his chin as he watched Gwyn training in the arena with Gulvi." The Ash and Gwyn Interludes

7. "Aside from kissing occasionally, or affectionate touching, Augus knew that Ash was doing his best to be respectful of Augus’ personal space when it was just the two of them." The Shaking Shape of You

8. "Augus came back from harvesting herbs in his new lake – it would feel new for decades – and smelled the Cannabis in the air and realised what Gwyn and Ash had been doing." Under the Influence

9. "Gwyn trembled, naked, kneeling upon a golden pedestal inlaid with a mosaic of silver and pearl." Glitter and Gold

10. "‘You really think this will work?’ Eran said, turning his fire staff thoughtfully in his fingers." Ten Minutes and Ten Minutes More

11. "Gwyn stood, embarrassed, in his wrestling gear." The Spoils of the Spoiled

12. "As Augus walked through the forest, he forced himself to breathe slowly." The Gwyn and Augus Ice Plague Interludes

13. "Mal picked up the ticket because no one else in the company wanted to do underpaid labour for the antique bookkeeper and librarian who owned his small but gleaming store down Chessmaker street." Three Choices

14. "Augus walked dazedly back to his rooms – his rooms – and felt like he’d still not spent long enough in the lake." Fae Tales - Alternative Perspectives

15. "The magic around Eran’s wrist throbbed, the beetle-black ink of the months-old tattoo sinking deeper into his flesh." The Ice Plague, Book 1 - The Forest of Fire

16. "It didn’t seem like such a big deal, picking up odd jobs here and there for extra cash." As Green as the Ragged Grass

17. "Flitmouse brewed tea." All the Loose Threads

18. "Jack shifted uncomfortably in his ceremonial soldier’s uniform." The Golden Age that Never Was

19. "It wasn’t something that Augus could work up to over a period of days or weeks." The Augus and Gwyn Kinkfest

20. "Gwyn ap Nudd, War General to the Oak King of the Seelie fae, had picked the human bar based on its name, The White Cow." Quid Pro Quo

I'm not tagging anyone specific, but if you decide you want to do this, tell the world I tagged you, if you like! :D

*

It's kind of weird going this far back on the not_poignant account, the fact is I've written quite a bit of fanfiction since Quid Pro Quo, but I can't really include it, since it's under another account name. (I mean I published the last chapter of Quid Pro Quo around the same time as Stuck on the Puzzle.)

Fun though :D

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.