#been really struggling to write lately
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
writing is kinda hard like you expect me to put words in order and have it make sense????? wild
#been really struggling to write lately#i just write unfinished drabbles about naoya and toji lately#i think levi is mad at me#tuna talk 🐟
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Dunno what happened with that request for a sickfic someone posted a few months ago, but I for one would enjoy seeing Jin Guangyao taking care of someone else: Xue Yang, Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang... whoever floats your boat. If it's ok with you, of course.
Currently, Meng Yao’s office was intolerably full, which was to say there was more than just himself in it. One of those occupants happened to be Nie Huaisang, and it could be safely said that it was impossible to mistake a room that held Nie Huaisang for one that didn't. The other occupant was Nie Mingjue which might not normally be a problem except that, right now, his sect leader was inarguably ill. Well, not inarguably, he supposed, because Nie Mingjue was certainly arguing it. Loudly. With Nie Huaisang. While Meng Yao was trying to work. Fortunately Meng Yao was used to resolving problems on his own.
*cracks knuckles* there we go anon, something quick and light-hearted!
#mdzs#nieyao#nie mingjue#meng yao#jin guangyao#nmj#jgy#fanfiction#i remember the request you're referencing but it just kinda fizzled out... i didn't really have any particular inspiration to work off of#but jin guangyao - or meng yao in this case - needing to be the one to take care of someone? that i can work with#though if i'm being honest i'm not sure this entirely meets the brief xD but it was fun to write and it includes ill nmj so close enough#makes for something quick and chill which is perfect since i've been struggling to write lately#and i very nobly resisted the urge to include whump because i know the original prompter hadn't wanted any xD#though it did get me to start writing a completely different whumpy nieyao sickfic on the side so that might appear at some point#if i'm lucky... praying to the gods of free time and inspiration
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man, going from rough sketch directly to lineart and just skipping the clean-sketch step is Not A Good Idea and now I'm struggling
Unfortunately I am both too lazy and stubborn to do a proper sketch and as such I will continue to suffer. Alas.
#working on more disaster twin bonding for the au btw#and in my defense i'm doing a proper comic this time around#instead of just doing a couple of drawings accompanied by a bunch of text for to explain context#which is what i've been mostly doing lately#i really like drawing comics but UGH script writing is not fun#which is also the first step and bc of that it's a struggle to just get started on the stupid thing#also comics in general are time consuming and i've had a lot of ideas that i just wanted to get out there more quickly soooo#BUT there's a comic on the way now so look forward to that#tizel talk
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
A wip of an OC @bizlybebo inspired me to make. It’s sick ass oc Midas helped me break through some art block. I think I’m gonna do an “OCtober” where I make an oc for every JRWI campaign (except TMK bc I’m not fully caught up). I will be taking name/hero name suggestions btw and I’ll announce who won when I post the next OC. Backstory below!
He’s a 19yo freelance artist from New Haven. His parents just went through a really messy divorce, leaving his mother and four siblings in a bad situation financially. So, he put his transition and art school on hold to take up gigging to provide for them. Still, he was having trouble making ends meet, so he signed up for drug testing. Turns out, the medication he was trialing was actually a gene splicing program that caused him to (quite painfully) transform into a harpy like creature over the course of the treatment. It wasn’t long until the company came looking for him, eager to run tests and experiments to see how the gene therapy had contorted his body. One day, when they showed up at his sister’s school, waiting for him to come and pick her up, he drew the line. He ran away to Freedom City just in time to see it get destroyed by Atlas. He did the only thing he knew how to do; help. He started to airlift people out of the rubble and spot people human eyes couldn’t normally find. Since then, he accepted a “contract” from WATCH HQ; he’d be given a pay check (directly mailed to his mother and siblings back in New Haven), as well as training in exchange for providing “disaster relief” aid and local support in Freedom City. Now, he’s just trying to make it through the day, painting murals to earn some extra cash to start up his life again.
EDIT: HES DONEEEE
#sorry if the story or the art is kinda shit#to say depression has been kicking my ass is a huge understatement#Ive been really struggling lately so its nice to sort of draw and write something#jrwi show#jrwi#my art#rat chats#jrwi fanart#jrwiblr#jrwi art#jrwi pd#pd oc#jrwi pd oc#jrwi pd spoilers#pd jrwi#atlas jrwi#jrwi oc#enjoyyy#also yes that’s a hearing aid
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
we can dive, we can dive deep
Relationship: Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano Type: Oneshot Rating: T (for depictions of violence, blood, and injury) Words: 4.5k For: Sapphic Ahsoka Tano Week 2024, Day 3: Warrior, @sapphicahsokatanoweek, @swsapphics-ao3feed Notes: wound-tending (mental and physical); post-episode 5 & pre-episode 6 of tote, post-ahsoka novel, pre-rebels; not exactly besties again, but they are working through it; very early draft for a scene in a larger story
After a mission goes sideways, Ahsoka and Barriss make a dangerous escape from an Imperial-controlled planet. Once in the clear, they have a quiet moment to confront their painful past, reveal hidden scars, and explore the fragile hope of their future.
* * *
“I’m so sorry, Ahsoka. For everything.”
Ahsoka’s mind wanders back to the tribunal all those years ago—the look of anguished penitence in Barriss’s eyes as the Temple guard escorted her away. And of the tight hug she gave her—ambiguous, softly spoken words of apology muttered.
Barriss may have betrayed her, throwing years of trust and companionship out the window in one fell swoop, but she was never a perfidious person. The actions she chose to take may have been unjust, but her heart has always been in the right place, her intentions always noble.
In that moment, Ahsoka truly understands that Barriss was simply lost and shattered beyond reason.
"I know."
#sorry it's so late I work a lot and don't get much free time anymore#and I've really been struggling with grief these past few weeks#this is my first time writing sw (and by extension barrissoka) so uhh I know its probably not that good#also tbh idk if it's good enough to fill the prompt but it inspired this scene nevertheless#regardless I hope you find it enjoyable#i'm extremely nervous about this if i'm being honest hahahah#please accept my humble scraps#as they say in europe: つまらないものですが...#(I'm sleep deprived I'm sorry)#the aurebesh in the image is written out in the alt text and the beginning of the chapter#swsapphicsao3feed#sapphicahsokatanoweek#sapphicahsokatanoweek2024#ahsoka tano#barriss offee#barrissoka#my writing#私の
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I LIED it’s three chapters not a oneshot. whoops! chapter two hopefully will be posted next week… or sooner if i get possessed again!
Summary: After coming in fifth place for the season of World Tour, Alejandro deals with anxieties placed on him by his family, and team e-scope becomes determined to befriend him.
#total drama#alenoah#tdi alenoah#tdi fanfic#total drama island#i’ve been writing so much lately it’s crazy#really hope yall like this one#it deals a lot with family struggles and stuff#they get a happy ending tho! :3
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm not super 'here' because i'm writing but i swear things will be back to normal after the holidays <3 <3
#i really really want to talk to people and talk about my guys but also i HAVE to write#i've been struggling with focus lately#loyal talks about stuff and things
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
blegh
#delete later#this is me just yelling into the void for a moment#but god I think I need to look into doing smth about my meds#:))) been on a steady mental health decline since at LEAST august#and it’s only gotten worse since the new year started cries#I’m trying to do homework and I can’t even focus on it#struggling so bad#but I don’t. trust anyone to actually talk and I’ve been pulling closer to myself#so I just bury myself in school and writing and distractions (there aren’t many)#I don’t know I think I’m tired#really tired of how things have been#how alone I feel#life has genuinely felt exhausting lately#all of my relationships feel so superficial with the exception of like. a small few#I want deeper connections but lately I feel like I’m just not built for friendship#it really feels like I’m just not supposed to have friends because I’m not a good one or I’m not a good person and I just Exist#in loneliness#and that hurts SO bad#can it please get better already#please#between online and irl I am at my limit T-T#ANYWAYS. back to being productive and doing stuff
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmm I want to challenge myself to write wwdits fic that defies canon more
I think at some point I am going to write fic where instead of Guillermo getting some weird crisis of conscience at the end of s5, he and Nandor fuck nasty covered in the blood of their victims, but like
other than that
if I were to write a canon divergent AU that diverges at any point in the series, where would you want it to be?
challenge me. (ง •̀_•́)ง
#wwdits#it doesn't have to be nandermo but I'll admit I always like writing nandermo lmao#I guess my only exception is I don't want to write something where freddie sticks around bc I simply do not wish to write him lmao#I've really really been struggling with writing lately#and some of that is my health but I think a lot of it is just feeling kind of depressed and at odds with my main fandom#so I want to attack this a fresh way
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
:)
#project: coming soon!#please be patient I've been so exhausted from work#and struggling w mental issues#I'm really trying to pump this out but I can only do so much with so little time and energy and motivation#doesn't help that I feel like I doubt people will read it since it doesn't have ANY aiyuu in it....#just shibarisa and a bit of keikaren...#but I'm putting my heart and soul into this so...maybe....#I'm HOPING to get it out within a few days. by next week at the latest.#but ig we'll see how bad my work will be huh. the weekend is pretty intense there....#in fact? I don't write on saturdays Bc of how bad it gets on the weekend.#and I've been getting out quite late on Saturdays...hhhhh#but I promise I'm working through the depression and busy work life to get this fic out that way I can get other smaller fics#and other bigger projects out
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
beep boop I am on the verge of finalizing this Gator ficlet, and I am so afraid to post it, honestly. Terrified.
#I just feel like#what if it's not good enough#because I've been so inspired by other gator stories and I feel like I'm not really like....a storyteller u know?#I just write stuff so people can mindfuck their faves#and while I definitely love it when other people do that#for some reason mine feels like background noise and embarrassment lol#I think I am just really struggling with my writing ability and having confidence in myself lately idk#depression swallows my self esteem whole fr#anyways hi
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've struggled so much with english these past few days and it's so annoying and embarrassing, and what's even more embarrassing is that I'm embarrassed at all in the first place!!! Everytime I make a rushed error with my unmedicated brain, or swap around with word order, or struggle to pronounce things or outright just fail to recall even basic words entirely I get so ashamed and stressed out.
And I hate being told things such as "you're better than some native speakers" because I know that isn't true! And I wish it could just be fine that I'm not! Sure, I've improved immensely ever since I actually tried to learn it properly 10 years ago, but it was such a bumpy and embarrassing road that it's practically a mercy for my self confidence that I was psychotic for a majority of the time, what with all the things I've forgotten or outright never memorized in the first place as a result lmao.
Everytime I have to edit captions and such after hitting 'Post' I always feel this overwhelming sense of dread that people will just pour in to nag and to correct me even over the smallest things, all without anything good to say. Which sucks, cause so many times where I've had people be condescending or outright degrading, the errors in question didn't even impede on the clarity of what I was saying. Just stupid, unimportant things like using 'has'/'have' wrong, using 'were' two times in a sentence, putting words in the wrong order in a sentence etc.
It's been years now since that was a thing that happened regularly, but that fear is apparently still so deeply imprinted that, even now, I can't read what I'm writing right here and now without this looming fear about how it will serve to make native speakers perceive me as stupid and unintelligent or outright infantilize me. Even though I know that's more than likely irrational of me to feel now. I seriously need to figure out how to overcome this mental roadblock, or at least not let it get to me like this. It's rarer these days, but I still feel it too strongly for my liking whenever my reservations do kick in.
#not to mention old group of people that shall not be named#who when i spoke up about feeling uncomfortable about the way they made fun of me#told me that it was fine actually because my language is not an oppressed one#which is so. indeed! its not!#nor did i ever say that it was!#id simply just hoped that people who called themselves my friends#would also want to like... maybe respect me like one#yknow???#idk im rambling and being stupid maybe#nothing happened really ive just felt shitty with how hard its been to speak and write lately#and i have such complex feelings about english and learning it and how its been this ceaseless struggle for over two decades#and how said struggle nearly cost me access to even get into gymnasiet#which didnt matter in the end anyway but thats another depressing story rofl and also lmao#silvi talks#or whines would be a better way of putting it LMAO#whatever its fine im fine#i keep trying to remind myself that i dont need speak perfectly to be deserving of civility#but holy fuck its hard sometimes!!! and tbh it doesnt help how often youll run into people mentioning stuff like#'writing pet peeves' and its just nitpicking minor grammar or spelling things as if its the end of the world#actually i need to stop here lest i become an unskippable cutscene about language policing as a concept and how it bothers me#KSJFEDKJDSKJS#delete later maybe i guess idk#depends on how ashamed i feel by admitting this openly
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#you can ignore#but i’m#gonna vent a little bc i’ve been feel dowwwwwn#anyways i hate that i correlate my worth to how productive i am during the day#so for work or getting things done around my house or writing#and when i can’t get things done it makes me#really sad#and i’ve been struggling so bad w writing lately and i feel so bad#not just about myself but also like i’m disappointing ppl by not posting#idk i’ll be fine i just feel so off !! sorry#anissa’s rambles ୨୧
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yeah, you should only create for yourself, but if I'm putting it out there I would like to know that I'm not just endlessly shouting into the void
#you ever feel like this about your original posts? cause I do#idk like. I would like to DISCUSS my thoughts with someone but it never goes that far#and I realize I don't have the most popular opinions all the time but shit you'd think some people would agree enough to reblog every#once in awhile#idk I'm feeling insecure about myself lately. this is okay to reblog btw I'm just venting my thoughts in the tags#em rambles#idk there was a time I felt like I had a place and served a purpose and provided content for a very small circle of fandom#but now I honestly can't tell who's there anymore#maybe that's why I've been struggling to write. I've always written for myself first but a big motivator for me was getting to share#that with people who would really enjoy it#but now idk#I'll never leave tumblr but sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting original posts anymore lmao
22 notes
·
View notes